Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

“I can’t believe you’re ruining my summer vacation! This is supposed to be our family home and now you want some foreign creep living with us!”

“Beth, I’m sure he’s very nice and he won’t be living with us. He’ll be staying in the guest quarters in the barn.”

“Your father’s right, Honey. He’ll be working in the barn and living there. You’ll hardly know he’s around.”

“He’ll be here! Don’t you get it! Some weirdo you’ve never even met. Creeping me and my friends out. How do you think that makes me feel? Oh, I forgot – you don’t give a fuck about how I feel!”

“Beth, that enough. There’s no need for such language.”

“To hell with this shit!”

Carol rolled her eyes at her husband as their daughter stormed out of the dining room leaving her food mostly untouched. He slowly shook his head in agreement as the not uncommon sound of her bedroom door slamming shut punctuated her departure.

“Should I go up and try to talk with her?” Andrew asked.

“Sure. Why not. You can at least try. I’m just not holding my breath.”

Carol and Andrew would say that their daughter was going through the ‘terrible teens’ but in reality she had only celebrated her thirteenth birthday the previous month and this ‘phase’ had been going on now for over a year. Prior to that she had been the most wonderful child; kind, considerate, studious and just a joy to be around. Now they felt like they were constantly walking on egg shells. She was permanently angry and sullen and could explode in fury at any time, triggered by the most innocuous comments. She refused to do any chores or help around the house and nothing they wanted to do was ever what she wanted to do. Nothing they suggested was ever acceptable to her. She was rude and disrespectful, not only to them but to their friends and even strangers they met in public. Going out as a family to a movie or restaurant had become a potential nightmare and was no longer something to which they looked forward. They had used every approach to try to control her behaviour. They had tried being firm but she would simply refuse to accept any punishment or consequences. They tried to deescalate situations where she became angry but she would simply keep amplifying the issue until she finally exploded. It was as if she needed these traumatic outbursts. As a well-to-do family they took her on expensive vacations or on lavish shopping trips but she was never grateful, simply taking these luxuries as her due. She was their only child and they loved her deeply but with each day the chasm between them seemed to widen. They were frightened, truly frightened, by the realization that they were losing her.

Standing outside her door Andrew could hear nothing from inside and gently knocked.

“Beth, can we talk? I know you’re upset but maybe talking can help.”

“Help you maybe. Not me!”

“Can I come in?”

“No! Fuck off! Leave me alone!”

Carol stood up and went to her husband as he walked back into the dining room, giving him a rueful smile as she put a hand on his shoulder.

“Thanks for trying.”

He gave a dispirited shrug and started clearing their plates and cutlery and washing them in the sink.

“I’m going into town tomorrow afternoon to pick him up at the airport. We should be back around seven. Maybe do a weapons check on her before I get back?”

Carol gave a sheepish laugh. She appreciated when her husband tried to use humour, albeit dark humour, to ease the tension.

Lying on her bed staring up at the ceiling, Beth was not listening to the headphones blasting music into her ears. Her face was red and her thoughts were focused solely on the argument she had just had with her parents. For reasons she would have struggled to articulate she was seething with anger. Below average height for her age and slight, her proportionately long, athletic legs reflected her love of running. Her slim face, when not flushed with anger, was pale but she tanned easily and the beginnings of that summer tan were already apparent. She was blessed with high cheekbones and beautiful emerald green eyes protected by long, lush eyelashes. Her mouth was wide and her lips neither full nor thin. And her nose with its slightly rounded tip gave character and a lovely warmth to her face. People often commented on her long, fine hair that stretched down to the middle of her back. It was a stunning auburn colour and seemed to shine in the light. She always wore it with a centre parting and pulled back with a scrunchie but no matter how tightly the scrunchie was applied, a couple of strands always seemed to find their way back to fall over her face. In short she was pretty, very pretty, and would have been seen as a serious threat by other girls of her age were it not for the fact that puberty seemed to have passed her by. While her friends were deep in the transition to womanhood she remained stubbornly childlike. If she carefully scrutinized her chest she could detect a hint of swelling above her pectoral muscles and in a hot bath her areolae would distend slightly but this development paled in comparison to her friends. Their bulging breasts were blatantly obvious and had not gone unnoticed by the boys. Many of them now had steady boyfriends or at least a slew of male admirers. With her small stature and lack of development, Beth looked like she might be ten or eleven. This had furnished a bitter frustration and resentment and fuelled a bottomless pit of irrational self-loathing and insecurity.

Driving into town the next day Andrew was looking forward to meeting Dario. They had been in communication for more than nine months now. When he had purchased their country property almost three years ago it had been a working farm. He had renovated and modernized the main house and put in a large pool and gardens behind it. His attention then turned to the barn that was adjacent to the house. The structure was sound and he wanted to convert it into a study and library with a living area that could be used by guests. All of the major restructuring work was complete together with new plumbing and electrical supplies but the detailed finish remained. His vision was that the renovated barn would reflect its working heritage so he wanted extensive use of natural wood. This included flooring, shelves, cabinetry, window frames and doors. After having laser measurements of the new structure taken, he had sent the information to Bernado and his son, Dario, who had a highly regarded woodworking company in Italy. Over the winter and spring, they had made all the components and now Dario would spend three months with them to install everything. They were not expecting that he could finish the work in that time and he would likely need to return at some point to complete the project. He knew little about Dario other than the information required to obtain his temporary work visa. Based on this he knew only to look out for a six foot, two inch tall, twenty-eight year old Italian with brown hair.

Standing in the arrivals area opposite the baggage carousel, Andrew scanned the arriving passengers as they collected their bags. When he saw the young man with the large backpack and carryall, he approached him.

“Excuse me, are you Dario Conti by any chance?”

“Yes, Mr. Winters? I am pleased to meet you. You are very kind to meet me at the airport.”

Andrew smiled listening to the almost lyrical accent and extended his hand in greeting. He offered to help carry one of the bags but was politely refused.

The drive back took almost an hour and gave Andrew time to get to know his guest, and employee, a little better. Dario’s English was stronger than he had expected and they spoke about his journey and the work to come. Dario had left home almost twenty-four hours ago and so was tired by this point but kept up the conversation while they drove.

When they pulled into the large gravel courtyard in front of the main house Carol emerged to greet their guest and welcome him to their home. Beth was nowhere to be seen. The couple showed Dario to the barn and gave him a quick tour of the living area. Carol also showed him how to use the appliances and let him know that she had stocked his fridge. She told him to let her know what else he would like so she could pick up when next in town.

“Thank you so much, Mrs. Winters. You are so kind and you make me very welcome.”

Like her husband, Carol was struck by how beautiful his accept was. It was like listening to a pretty song. She was relieved that he seemed like such a nice young man. Wiry rather than big, he moved with the fluidity and grace of an athlete. She recognized that he was good-looking in a kind of quiet, unassuming way. His face was tanned and that colour accentuated the whiteness of his teeth. And when he smiled, little dimples appeared in his cheeks. His thick, brown, wavy hair extended to his collar. That he was at the end of a long day could be seen in his eyes and the stubble decorating his face and throat. She had made him a small dish in case he was hungry and pointed it out on the small dining table before she and Andrew left, wishing him a good night’s sleep.

Dario was tired but pleased to be working for such nice people. Like his father, he loved his work and enjoyed sharing his passion for wood with others. He didn’t feel hungry but when he opened the container Carol had left, the delicious aroma convinced him to eat. It was a simply pasta dish but beautifully prepared and he appreciated the thoughtfulness of his employer’s wife. After cleaning up and taking a quick shower, he went to bed and slept through until dawn.

When he awoke he felt rested but his mind remained foggy. He had unpacked the previous night and quickly selected a pair of running shorts and a T-shirt and put them on. Before making this trip he had downloaded a map showing the farm and had already picked out some running routes that looked promising. Putting his running shoes on at the side door, he took in the early morning. The sun was already bright although still low in the sky and a fine mist of condensation covered every surface. The temperature was perfect and he headed off, quickly coming up to pace. An hour later he was back, delighted by the beauty of the woods and fields through which he had run and the views of the nearby mountain range. He showered, made himself some breakfast and then began to inventory the joinery that had been shipped from their workshop in Italy and now sat in large wooden crates on pallets to the side of the barn covered by tarpaulin sheets.

When Carol came down to the kitchen to make a coffee about an hour later she noticed that the main door to the barn was open and realized that Dario had already begun work. She made a coffee for her husband and took it up to him and then made two lattes in pretty porcelain cups and took them out to the barn.

“I made you a coffee in case you’d like to take a break.”

“Oh, thank you, Mrs. Winters, that is very kind of you.”

“Please call me Carol.”

“Certainly Mrs. Carol. Thank you.”

She asked him how he had slept and whether he had found everything he needed for breakfast and he let her know everything was perfect and thanked her again. After chatting for a few more minutes she let him get back to work and returned to the house.

Later that morning Andrew went over to talk with Dario about the project. When the structural work on the barn had been done, temporary windows and doors had been installed and these would now be replaced with the new custom-built joinery. In addition, the old barn doors would be replaced with floor-to-roof windows. As they inspected the back of the barn, Andrew noticed that Beth was lying on a sun lounger beside the pool over towards the house.

“I should introduce you to my daughter, Elizabeth” he offered, turning back towards the pool.

“Beth, do you want to come over and meet Dario?”

The young girl looked up, irritated by the interruption, and then slowly rose, slipped on her flip-flops and sauntered over to where they were standing. She was wearing a dark green bikini and large black sunglasses. When she reached them she put her hands on her hips and, still wearing her sunglasses, looked up at Dario.

“It is a pleasure to meet you, Miss Elizabeth.”

“Whatever” she replied and ignoring his outstretched hand, strode back to her lounger.

“I’m so sorry for my daughter’s behaviour” stuttered Andrew red-faced with anger and embarrassment.

“It is alright, Mr. Andrew. This is her home and she is probably uncomfortable with me being here.”

Andrew nodded and leaving Dario headed back to the house to try to cool the temper and frustration that gripped him.

Lying there in the sun, Beth took brief satisfaction from having put this pathetic intruder in his place but his ongoing presence was just going to stoke her bitter resentment and hostility towards her parents.

When her mother called her down to dinner that evening Beth assumed her usual sullen look as she descended the stairs. On entering the dining room she stopped short.

“What’s he doing here?”

“I invited Dario to join us for dinner, Beth” answered her mother, trying to ignore her daughter’s rudeness.

Beth turned, left the room and went back upstairs.

“I’m sorry for my daughter, Dario. She’s going through a difficult time” said Carol, reddening.

“Please do not worry, Mrs. Carol. I understand.”

The remainder of the meal passed in awkward silences and stilted conversation. When it was done, Dario turned to his host.

“Mrs. Carol, it is very kind of you to invite me into your home but I do not want to come between you and your daughter. She needs you both very much and my presence is a problem for her.”

Carol had intended that Dario take all his dinners with them but she realized that this would now be incredibly uncomfortable for him.

“I’m sorry, Dario. I’m really sorry” she said nodding her understanding.

“It was a beautiful meal, Mrs. Carol and I hope your daughter will still get to enjoy it.”

He rose and began to collect the plates and cutlery and take them to the sink.

“Oh, leave those, Dario. We can take care of that.”

“Please, Mrs. Carol. My mother would be very angry with me if she knew I did not help.”

Carol smiled and watched as he carefully washed all the dirty items and her husband dried and put them away.

“Again thank you, Mrs. Carol for a lovely meal. I am tired now and will go to bed. I will see you in the morning. Good night.”

After Dario had left, Carol took Beth’s unused plate and cutlery and, going over to the stove, cut a slice of the meatloaf and put it on the plate together with a selection of the vegetables. She went upstairs and put the plate on the floor outside her daughter’s room.

“Beth, I’ve left some food outside your door in case you’re hungry.”

She wasn’t really expecting an answer and didn’t try to enter the room.

“I know you’re angry with your father and me but can I ask you to think about how you made Dario feel. In trying to get back at us, you hurt him and that’s not fair. He hasn’t done anything to you.”

Carol went back down. She hadn’t expected a response and, frankly, not get a tirade of invective was a plus.

Beth was hungry but she wouldn’t give her mother the satisfaction of eating any of her dinner. And why the hell should she care about some creep’s feelings. If he felt hurt then it was her parents’ fault for bring him here in the first place.

The following evening when Beth went down for dinner, she smirked when she saw it was just the three of them. But as she ate, mostly ignoring questions from her parents, the satisfaction she should have enjoyed at this little victory was strangely muted.

When she rose the next day Beth was excited. As far as she was concerned the best feature of their country home was the pool. It was a huge infinity pool behind the main house with a massive deck that also included a barbecue, a fire pit and a hot tub. Sun loungers, chairs and umbrellas decorated the deck which in turn was surrounded by flowers and shrubs. The far edge of the pool looked out towards the mountains and the view was incredible. There was never any problem in convincing her friends to come over and hang out and three of them would arrive later that morning. She tried on the new black bikini she had bought and looked at herself in the bathroom mirror. The top piece had discreetly padded cups that gave the illusion of more development than she could in reality claim. She liked the appearance and, given her reputation, didn’t think her friends would risk making any snide comments.

Hearing the crunch of tires on the courtyard gravel, Beth went down to meet her friends. Mrs. Collins had driven her daughter Janice, together with two other friends, Jessica and Cathy. To Beth’s annoyance her mother had also come out to meet their guests.

“Hi Brenda, thanks for dropping off the girls. Do you have time for a coffee?”

As her mother and Mrs. Collins headed to the kitchen, Beth led her friends to her room so they could change. They were all in the same class at school and had been fairly close for a couple of years but Beth was aware how fragile relationships now seemed to be. Longstanding friendships could evaporate overnight and new alliances form, seemingly in moments. Competition for attention, mostly from the boys, was a driver but so too were the many social groupings that formed and morphed. The intense hunger to be in the right group and the fear of being excluded created unique new tensions. Everyone was fearful of their own social standing or envious of others. And now watching her friends put on their bikinis and adjust their tops, the knife in Beth’s stomach twisted. They not only towered over her but their breasts made a mockery of her pathetic offerings. Already quietly nursing a heightened level of anger and insecurity, she led them to the pool.

The squeals of excitement and awe that accompanied their arrival on the deck partly tempered Beth’s fears. They had all been here before but remained highly impressed by, and not a little jealous of, Beth’s playground. There were no boys and hence no reason not to get their hair wet and so they were all happy to swim in the pool and hang out at the edge looking out at the view. When they returned to settle in the sun loungers, Beth went inside to get them all drinks.

On her return, bearing a tray of snacks and iced drinks, she realized their attention was taken by something else.

“Who’s the perv checking us out?” called Janice.

Beth looked up and realized that scaffolding had been built behind the barn and saw that Dario was doing something with one of the upper windows.

“Hey, put your dick back in your pants!” yelled Janice to laughter from Jessica.

“Janice, what the hell!” said Cathy.

Beth, mortified and furious, slammed down the tray and stomped over to the scaffolding.

“What the hell are you doing?!”

“I am sorry Miss Elizabeth. I am just taking out the temporary windows.”

“Can’t you see we’re using the pool! Why the fuck would you do that now?!”

Dario looked down at her, his face momentarily flashing with anger. He breathed in and the moment passed.

“I’m sorry Miss Elizabeth. I will leave” he responded, slowly and evenly.

While Dario climbed down the ladder Beth returned to her friends, angry but pleased to have demonstrated her authority to them.

“Beth, you didn’t need to do that. I’m sure he’s only doing his job” said Cathy.

“Hey, if you’re feeling sorry for him why don’t you go over and suck him off” replied Beth to appreciative giggling from Janice and Jessica.

They settled back down to working on their suntans and as they lay there the conversation, as it inevitably did, turned to boys. Who was going out with who and what were they up to. Janice and Jessica both had steady boyfriends and were the most deeply connected to all the gossip. Some of this came from the other girls but some came from their boyfriends who would pass on the bragging they heard from others. Beth always felt deeply uncomfortable in these conversations given that she not only didn’t have a boyfriend but she couldn’t even point to any male attention. None of the girls had admitted to going all the way but if you had a steady boyfriend you were expected to satisfy his needs. Janice told them that the boys had ranked the girls in giving head and that she, Janice, was in the top three. These details only further depressed Beth as she realized how far out of the dating scene she really was.

Other than further cementing her insecurity, Beth felt the day had gone relatively well, or at least she hadn’t made any serious social missteps. In the late afternoon she again heard the sound of a car pulling into their courtyard and waited for her mother to show Mrs. Collins through to the deck.

“Here they are, Todd. Can I get you a drink?”

Beth turned in surprise and saw Janice’s older brother, Todd, standing by the French doors. She knew he was in senior grade, played on the football team and that Janice idolized him. Big and handsome with blonde hair he was not short of female admirers.

“Sure that would be great, Mrs. Winters. Just a lemonade please.”

“Hey, Todd. What’s up?”

“Hey, Sis. Mum had to take a work call so I’ve gotta drive you guys.”

“OK. You know Jessica and Cathy and this is Beth.”

“Hey, Beth, nice to meet you. Are you guys all in the same grade?”

Beth groaned inwardly. As usual, he’d assumed she was younger.

“No I’m a couple of grades older than these guys but I hang out with them once in a while.”

Todd laughed appreciating her sense of humour.

“Is that like volunteer work where you’re a big sister to troubled kids?”

“Exactly, only these days we call them ‘socially challenged kids’.”

“Hey, you’re funny and cute. I like that” he said laughing.

Her heart skipped a beat; did she hear that right? Cute? She cautiously pulled her shoulders back to push out her chest, hoping desperately not to be noticed by the other girls. Cathy and Jessica were now also zeroed in on him.

“What are you up to this summer, Todd?” asked Jessica, leaning down to stir her drink and offering him a better opportunity to see down her cleavage.

“I’m working for my dad, helping out in the store and also learning more on the business side.”

The conversation continued with Jessica and Cathy asking him more questions and joking with him about the football team but somehow Beth seemed to be excluded. While he finished his drink, her friends needed to change and Beth felt obligated to go back up with them. To her chagrin none of them seemed to have taken his comment to her seriously. None of them asked how she felt to be called ‘cute’.

As she said her goodbyes and watched her friends climb into Mrs. Collins’ car, Todd looked over from beside the driver’s door.

“Nice to meet you, Beth. Hope we get a chance to meet again soon.”

Was he just being polite, she wondered, or was he interested in her. She didn’t know how she should respond. Better to be noncommittal she thought.

“Likewise.”

Walking back to the pool, her mind was in turmoil. She desperately wanted to believe he was interested but she had so little to go on. But he had called her ‘cute’. That must mean something, she reasoned.

When her phone vibrated the next morning, notifying her of a new text message, she didn’t pay much attention until she realized it was from a number she didn’t know. Suddenly excited, she opened the text.

Hi. Janice gave me ur cell. Hope u don’t mind. u want to go out Friday night? pick u up at 7:00? Todd

Her heart flipped and she wanted to scream with excitement. A date! Her first date! And not only that but with a HOT GUY! But then doubt crept in. This could just be one of her friends playing a sick joke she thought. She needed to be sure and texted Janice.

Hey, u give Todd my cell?

Yeh. OK?

NP

With confirmation that this was real, Beth felt panic welling up inside her. She had a score of questions: How should she respond? What should she wear? Where did he want to take her? She rushed up to her bedroom to survey her wardrobe. Twenty minutes later, somewhat reassured that she would be able to find a suitable outfit, she turned to how to respond. For the next fifteen minutes she laboured over the text before finally hitting send.

Sure. Any ideas?

Dinner? Get to know u?

Sure. See u then

At dinner that night her mother noticed that Beth seemed happier than usual, or at least less miserable. She was her usual silent self but at times the shadow of a smile would cross her face.

“How was your day, Honey?”

“Fine. The usual. Oh, by the way, I’m going out Friday night.”

“OK. With your friends?”

“Er.... no. Todd’s picking me up.”

“Oh. OK.”

Carol was immediately on high alert. Her daughter had never been on a date before and she strongly suspected that her delayed physical development and the resulting lack of male attention were major contributors to her volatile emotional state. This date could be positive news but she was concerned that Todd was quite a bit older. However, she knew any further inquiries into her plans would be rebuffed and any suggestion that she might have reservations about Todd was guaranteed to trigger an explosion. She decided to try to have a casual talk with her later, one-on-one.

“Your father and I are also going out to visit friends on Friday so don’t forget to bring a house key.”

“Sure. OK.”

Over the next couple of days Beth could think of nothing but Todd. She spent hours daydreaming about cheering him on at football games or going to school dances with him. Of course he would be a great dancer and would want to be with no one but her. She imagined what it would be like with everyone knowing he was her boyfriend and being jealous of her. But the insecurity at her core would also surface leading her to worry about how the date would go. What would they talk about? How could she make sure he found her funny and cute? She created a list of possible conversation topics and practiced asking him questions. It would be good to get him to talk about himself she knew but what if he asked her questions? What should she say were her interests? Running would be fine as he was also an athlete. She loved reading but she definitely shouldn’t tell him that. He might think she was some kind of loser nerd. These insecurities also convinced her not to tell her friends in case the date didn’t go well and he didn’t want to see her again. When she was feeling optimistic she wondered if he would try to kiss her, perhaps when he dropped her back home. She hoped he would.

On Friday evening when Carol had finished dressing she went to her daughter’s room and knocked gently on the door.

“Do you have a minute, Honey? Can I come in?”

“Whatever.”

When she saw her daughter, Carol was immediately struck by how pretty she looked. She was wearing a black pleated skirt and a thin, pink V-neck sweater. As usual, her lovely auburn hair was pulled back from her face. She thought her daughter was wearing lipstick but it was a very subtle shade that seemed to match the natural tone of her lips. Although she had on ankle socks, it was clear she hadn’t yet selected the shoes she wanted to wear.

“You look lovely, Honey. What shoes are you thinking of?”

“Uh, probably sneakers.”

“Yea, those would go well with your outfit.”

“Your dad and I are leaving in a minute so we won’t be here when Todd arrives. Have a lovely time, Honey but just remember to make your own decisions. OK?”

“Of course, duh.”

Carol smiled, trying to look supportive and encouraging, as she left.

On her own now, Beth paced nervously about the room constantly checking her appearance in the mirror while she waited. At five-to-seven she went downstairs to be closer to the front door and then reminded herself not to rush out too quickly when she heard him. As the minutes ticked down, her nervousness ratcheted up. Suddenly thinking that he might have arrived without her hearing his car, she rushed to the front room to confirm the courtyard was empty. Her brain seemed to be turning to mush: She couldn’t remember the conversation topics and rushed back to her room to review the list. It was now seven-fifteen and worry was turning to fear. Had he forgotten about the date? Was he standing her up? Excitement was turning to dread and the knot in her stomach tightened as the minutes passed. She felt like crying as the hopes and dreams she had nurtured over the past few days seemed to be crumbling to dust.

Should she text him she wondered but then what would she say? Asking him if he’d forgotten their date was just too pathetic. If something had happened to him why hadn’t he texted her? It was now gone seven-thirty and her faint hopes were dwindling. And then she heard the gravel crunch. Forgetting her admonition to herself, she rushed out of the house and her face broke into a huge smile of relief to see it was him. He rolled down his window as he pulled to a stop in front of the house.

“Hi, you look good. Jump in.”

She quickly locked the front door, went around to the passenger side and climbed in.”

Chapter Text

Driving to the restaurant, Beth was relieved that she didn’t feel awkward talking to Todd. It was as if they had known each other for years. When he told her where they were going she was impressed. It was an Italian restaurant she had been to with her parents and she knew it was expensive. Although the drive took nearly half an hour, the time seemed to fly by.

When they were seated at a pleasant corner table, Beth looked around the large, attractively decorated room. There were a few family groups but also a sizable number of young couples she imagined to be on dates. She thought that Todd was the most handsome guy there and glowed with pride. The conversation that had started in the car continued effortlessly. He was interested in her ideas and opinions and laughed at all her funny remarks. They were so busy talking the waiter had to return several times before they reviewed the menu and ordered their food. Beth was surprised when Todd also ordered a beer and even more so when the waiter brought it without question.

Sitting across the table from him, Beth took in her handsome date. She was struck by how blue his eyes were and noticed the lovely waves of his thick, blond hair. His lips were big and broad and she almost blushed thinking that maybe he would try to kiss her later. She liked that he was wearing a nice collared shirt and smart khaki pants. He was obviously taking their date seriously and had made an effort to impress her. And he was nice, really nice. He was polite and soft-spoken and didn’t try to tell her what to think or to do. Sometimes he even asked her what she thought he should do. With each passing moment the romantic dreams she had harboured seemed closer to reality. Beth could feel a warmth inside her, a glow, and she felt happier than she had in a long time.

At the end of the evening when the waiter brought their check Beth offered to pay half but Todd refused, saying that he had invited her. She had had so much fun she was almost reluctant to leave but hoped that this would be just the first of many dates.

They continued to talk and joke on the drive back and then when they were about ten minutes from Beth’s home Todd turned off the road into a small community park.

“Where are we going?”

“It’s not too late. I thought maybe we could talk a bit more before I drop you home.”

Beth figured that he wanted to kiss her and while she felt a little uneasy she was also excited by the idea.

Todd followed the entrance road to a small, empty parking lot and stopped at the far end. There were no lights other than those of the car and when Todd turned off the engine only the soft glow of the dashboard remained.

“Do you want to sit in the back?”

Beth felt uncomfortable but when Todd stepped out she did the same and then opened the rear door and climbed in. He turned towards her, gave her a big smile and extended his arm over the backrest.

“Do you want to come a bit closer?”

She smiled nervously, scooted over and he gently lay his arm around her shoulders.

“Did I tell you you look cute?”

“I think you may have mentioned it” she giggled.

He brought his hand to the side of her face, tilted it up and then lowered his mouth to hers. The rush of excitement she felt at the touch of his lips was incredible. She couldn’t believe a kiss could be this good. His lips were firm and dry as they roamed over hers. She had never kissed anyone before and immediately worried that she might not be kissing him back properly. She also couldn’t decide what to do with her hands and so just let her arms hang down by her sides. She felt silly sitting like this but was too shy to do anything else. As he kissed her, his hand moved over her face, cupping her ear and then sliding down and around her neck. His touch on her skin was electric and she tentatively reached an arm forward and placed her hand on the side of his body.

“So cute, and your lips are so sweet” he murmured breaking off momentarily from their kiss.

She was melting, turning to jelly, his words firing her emotions. But just as she began to relax in his embrace, his kisses grew hungrier. His lips were pulling at hers and then suddenly she felt his tongue pushing between her lips. She opened her mouth for him but felt awkward and confused. Did this mean his feelings for her were really strong? Even so, she wanted him to go slower, to give her more time. She felt his left hand running up and down her back, pulling her towards him, and then dropping to her hip. And then suddenly it was under her sweater and on her skin. While his touch felt good, everything was happening too quickly. She wasn’t ready for this. She didn’t know if she should say something. Would he think she was a prude? Turning his head to the side he opened his lips still wider and his tongue filled her mouth. She felt like he was swallowing her, engulfing her as he pushed down still harder against her mouth. And then she could feel his hand on her bare back, fiddling with her bra. As she felt the clasp release she pulled her arm back, pining it to her side as she tried to hold the now-free strap in place. She tried to pull back from his kiss but his mouth was locked in place. That she was no longer responding to his assertive kisses seemed not to matter. His hand was now trying to go to her front but keeping her arm tight against her side, she swung her forearm across her chest.

“It’s OK, Honey, I know you don’t have much” he said lifting up momentarily before again smothering her mouth before she could respond.

Beth was shocked and hurt: He thought she was just embarrassed by her lack of development!?

Effortlessly he pushed his hand under her arm and sliding under her bra found her chest. His fingers and thumb pinched her nipple, making it hard and then rubbed and pulled at it aggressively. Her little nipples were tender and his strong fingers were hurting her. She felt trapped, unable to stop him. Suddenly she was scared.

Just as the roughness of his fingers was bringing tears to her eyes, his hand was gone. She could feel him shifting around in the seat but she couldn’t see what he was doing. His face was locked on hers as his tongue shoved deeper into her mouth. When he suddenly lifted off she was surprised. She scanned his flushed face looking for answers. His eyes were bright with excitement as he grinned at her.

“Look what you’ve done.”

Seeing her questioning look he glanced to his lap and when she looked down she was shocked to see his erect penis standing almost vertically up. She didn’t know where to look, what to do. Was he going to rape her? She was scared, truly scared.

“You’re going to have to help me.”

“What?”

“Go down on me. Take it in your mouth.”

“No, Todd, no. I can’t do that. Take me home please.”

“Come on, don’t be such a cock tease. You can do it. Just suck on it.”

“No, Todd. I don’t want to do that. I want to go home. Take me home please.”

“What’s the matter with you? I bought you a nice dinner. I gave you a good time. What’s your problem? I just want a little head. Come on, you can do it. Be nice.”

Beth was afraid and confused. What had she done to make him think she would do that? This was just their first date. Did guys expect this on a first date? By allowing him to bring her to this park did it imply she would do this? Or maybe because she had agreed to move to the back seats? She felt guilty thinking she must have inadvertently led him on.

“I’m sorry, Todd. I didn’t mean to lead you on. I’m not ready for this. I’m sorry.”

“Look, you wanna be my girlfriend don’t you? I’m just asking you to be nice and take care of me.”

“No, Todd. I can’t, I just can’t. I’m sorry. Please, I just want to go home.”

She was crying now. Her dream date shattered.

“What the fuck you little bitch! Just fucking do it!”

Shivering with fear, she covered her face with her hands and started sobbing.

“Take me home, please take me home, please, please” she begged.

“God you’re a fucking little bitch” he yelled before slamming open his door, stepping out and readjusting his clothing.

Beth quickly returned to the front passenger seat, clipped in her seat belt and waited while Todd started up the engine and angrily drove off.

Dario didn’t know why he went to the kitchen window when he heard the SUV enter the courtyard but he did. The main house had exterior lights and when he saw Beth in the passenger seat he had the feeling something was wrong. She was looking towards the driver but her body language didn’t look right. Of course, it was none of his business, and she would probably get mad at him, but his protective instincts overrode those considerations. He quietly exited the barn and walked towards the SUV.

On the short drive from the park Todd had considered that delivering the crying girl back to her parents would not look good. He would need to calm her down, make her realize this was all her fault. He stopped in the courtyard, well away from the house and turned to her.

“Look, calm down. I don’t know what you’re getting all upset about. If anyone should be upset it’s me.”

Beth reached for the door handle, just wanting to get out of there and go to her room. She was too distraught to even register what Todd was saying.

As he saw her pull the handle, Todd grabbed her left arm and pulled her back.

“Look, I just want to talk, alright.”

“Please, I just want to go in. I’m sorry. Please.”

Fighting to control his temper, Todd was just about to speak when the passenger door opened. In his surprise, he let go of the girl’s arm and stared out at the stranger standing there.

“Is everything all right, Miss Elizabeth?”

Beth was as surprised by Dario’s arrival as Todd but now free of his grasp she quickly stepped out of the SUV. She didn’t feel able to reply to Dario’s question but just began walking to the house, clutching her purse to her chest. Dario followed her and when he saw Todd exit the car he positioned himself between them and placed his hand gently under Beth’s forearm. While he didn’t know what had happened, his suspicions were not inaccurate.

“Hold up, Beth. I just want to talk.”

“I think Miss Elizabeth wants to go inside. Please leave.”

“Who asked you! Just fuck off and leave us alone.”

When Todd went to move in front of Beth, Dario took hold of his arm just above the elbow and held him back. They were only about twenty yards from the front door now so Dario released Beth’s arm and held on to her date.

“Let go of me you fucking wetback.”

Dario tightened his grip on the young man’s arm as a warning. The vice-like hold around his biceps should have alerted Todd to the danger but the combination of testosterone and alcohol was more than sufficient to override any common sense. Todd swung his left hand at the stranger’s face in a vicious hook but where the knuckles should have contacted skin and bone there was only air. Dario had turned sideways and extending a leg he used Todd’s momentum to take him heavily to the gravel. The impact, and the effortless way in which the stranger had taken him down, finally cut through Todd’s steroid-fuelled fog.

“I’m sorry you lost your balance. Let me help you to your car.”

Struggling to insert the door key through tear-misted eyes, Beth heard the loud impact and turned to see what had happened. Confused, she watched Dario helping Todd to his feet and leading him back towards his car. Just thankful that Todd was leaving, she entered the empty house, ran up to her room and locked her door. Dropping onto her bed, face down, she started sobbing. Her misery driven by a potent mix of guilt, shame, humiliation and residual fear. And that misery was all the more bitter in light of the beautiful dreams she had harboured. She didn’t want to think, she didn’t want to remember, but her mind was on a constant replay loop. As she cried herself to sleep, however, in some far recess of the black abyss that was her first date glowed a tiny ember, as yet unseen.

When she awoke the next morning she was still wearing her clothes; her only concession to the night being that she had pulled the duvet over her body. Consciousness was an unwelcome intruder. She didn’t want to have to think about what had happened. She dreaded the question from her mother as to how her night had gone. That she could rely on her mother not to use the term ‘date’ because she hadn’t, was a realization that for some reason made her sad.

Later that morning, having shrugged off the question with a bored, noncommittal ‘fine’, her phone pinged with a text from Janice.

Todd said you were a real bitch last night so I said “well duh” :)

But just FYI I think he’s still going out with Pamela Baker. I know she’s away for the summer but don’t think they split up.

This little piece of the puzzle only added to Beth’s shame and humiliation. She had only even been a quick, easy piece of sexual release. But one thing did still intrigue her: Why had Dario come out and opened the car door? How had he known she needed help? She certainly wasn’t going to ask him and dreaded the thought that he might want to speak to her about it. As the day progressed however, she realized that she hadn’t heard him working in the barn or seen any sign of him about the property. Wandering into the kitchen that evening she found her mother preparing their dinner and asked her.

“Where’s Dario?”

“He’s gone hiking up into the mountains, Honey. He won’t be back until tomorrow evening.”

She nodded, wandered back to her room and then decided to go for a run before dinner.

When she came down on Monday for breakfast she went first to the front room and looked out into the courtyard. To the side she could see Dario outside the barn. He had trestles set up and appeared to be working on the frames for the large windows that would replace the old barn doors. Although reluctant to do so, she knew she should acknowledge what he had done on Friday night. Later that morning therefore when she was going out to the pool, she left by the front door so she would need to walk between the house and barn. When he glanced over at her, she gave the faintest of nods. He slowly nodded back and she continued on to the pool deck, relieved to have satisfied any debt of gratitude without the need for an actual conversation.

After her date, Beth was hesitant to meet with her friends. Todd had obviously said something to his sister but how much did Janice really know? Whatever he had told her she would have passed on to all their other friends. Beth’s only solace was that her reputation should deter any snide comments: Everyone knew how mean she could be. Not wanting anyone to think she was avoiding company, however, Beth arranged for a pool hang-out later that week.

On the day her friends were coming over, Beth was surprised to find her parents preparing to leave when she came down for breakfast.

“Where are you going?”

“Honey, I mentioned a couple of days ago that your father and I will be in town today. He needs to take care of some business and we also want to look at some furniture for the barn. We’ll be back this evening for dinner. There are some pizzas in the freezer you can use if your friends need something to eat. Is that OK?”

“Sure. Whatever.”

Beth felt strangely ambivalent at the prospect of being alone in the house, as if substituting her parents for her friends left some sort of a void.

When the girls arrived, Beth could detect no change in their attitude towards her. Whatever Todd had said to Janice must have been fairly vague. She figured that he might also have been worried thinking that her parents would have questioned her as to why she was upset – not knowing that they were still out when she returned. She wondered whether if Todd had invited Jessica or Cathy for a date they would have done what he wanted. Was she the freak?

As the group talked and joked, played in the pool and suntanned, Beth was beginning to relax. Everything seemed to be going fine until she mentioned that her parents were away and wouldn’t be back until the evening. Hearing this Janice smiled and, taking off her bikini top, said she wanted to get a full tan. Beth was shocked and then horrified when Jessica and Cathy followed her lead. Sitting bolt upright, staring at the amble breasts of her companions, Beth felt totally humiliated. She searched desperately for a way out of this social disaster.

“What the hell. Dario is still around here somewhere!”

“After what you said to him last time, I don’t think he’ll be back. Come on Beth, show us your booty” Janice laughed.

As the three of them looked at her grinning, Beth wanted the ground to open up and swallow her. She could feel her eyes filling with tears, only her dark glasses protecting her from the ridicule this would trigger if her friends knew.

“I’m going to get us some drinks” she stuttered as she quickly rose to go inside, accompanied to the house by the sound of laughter.

She ran to her room, tears streaming down her face. Her insecurities, never far below the surface, were threatening to drown her. She could see her social network crumbing. The thought of losing her friends, her status, was terrifying. She could feel panic creeping over her and tried to fight back. Had Janice done this deliberately? Was this revenge because Todd had said she was a bitch? This suspicion actually helped. It stroked her anger and her determination not to let Janice win. She had to try to salvage this, to pretend their remarks hadn’t hurt her, that she didn’t care. Drying her eyes and replacing her sunglasses, she went down to the kitchen to prepare the drinks.

Carrying the tray out to the deck, she hoped a truce had been called. Her friends were hot and the iced drinks eagerly accepted. While Beth lay back on her lounger, Jessica finished applying another layer of sunscreen and then reached back for her drink. As she raised it, the mix of condensation on the glass and oil on her fingers caused it to slip from her hand and smash to pieces on the deck.

“Oh god, I’m sorry, Beth.”

“Don’t worry. I hate these glasses anyway.”

“Oh well, if you hate them we should help you get rid of them” said Janice, finishing her drink and then tossing her glass into the air.

As it shattered, Jessica and Cathy laughed; shocked but amused.

“OK now take off your top, Beth. Don’t be such a prude” Janice ordered with a hint of aggression.

“No, I’m fine like this.”

“Come on girls, let’s help her.”

Janice stood up quickly followed by Jessica and Cathy and laughing they approached Beth. Janice grabbed one of her arms as she tried to get away and pulled her towards the group. As Cathy reached for her other arm, Beth lurched forward and pushed her hard in the chest. She staggered backwards and then let out an ear-piercing scream. The other girls froze, their eyes locked on Cathy as she hopped towards a lounger and then fell onto it screaming hysterically. And as they watched her writhing on the lounger they saw the blood dripping off her foot and the long glass shard embedded in it.

In that otherwise quiet, tranquil space the girl’s screams, echoing off the walls, magnified the horror. Beth was paralyzed, panic again rising at the realization her parents were not here to take care of this, to do whatever was needed. Janice and Jessica were similarly immobilized, their hands covering their mouths as they tried, and failed, to look away. And then he was there, kneeling beside Cathy telling her everything would be alright. Looking directly into her terrified face and telling her not to worry, that he would take care of her.

“My name is Dario. What’s your name?”

“C-Cathy” she stuttered.

“Elizabeth, can you please take a towel and put it around Cathy’s foot” he calmly asked. “And be careful where you walk, there is glass everywhere.”

His calm, sweet voice somehow cut through her panic and putting on her flip-flops, Beth picked up a towel and hesitatingly approached the still-screaming girl.

“Just gently wrap it around her foot but be careful not to touch the glass.”

Beth gingerly lifted Cathy’s ankle and slowly wrapped the towel around her foot, trying not to focus on the blood or the angry-looking shard.

“I’m going to pick her up and bring her inside. Elizabeth, can you please gently hold the towel around her foot while I carry her.”

“Cathy, are you alright if I lift you up?”

Cathy nodded, biting her lip in pain and fear.

As if in a daze, Beth watched him reach under Cathy’s arms and knees and effortlessly lift her. He carefully carried her into the house and slowly lowered her onto a couch in the living room, kneeling down beside her.

“Elizabeth, can you please ask your friends to bring some towels to cover Cathy.”

Beth relayed Dario’s instructions and when Janice and Jessica entered the house she noticed they had put their bikini tops back on.

When Cathy was covered, Dario turned to Beth and gave her an encouraging smile.

“You’re doing really well, Elizabeth. Do you know if your parents have a first-aid kit?”

“Y-Yes. Should I get it?”

“Yes and also a clean, small towel, please”

When Beth returned, Dario again spoke with Cathy.

“You’re being incredibly brave, Cathy. I would like to take a look at your foot now. Is that alright?”

Cathy nodded and Beth noticed how pale she was. Her face was like a ghost.

“Can you please turn onto your side, facing away from me.”

Cathy nodded but seemed unable to move without Dario’s help. Once she was turned he asked Beth to switch places with him and to kneel beside the girl and gently hold her. Crouching down, he unwrapped the towel, keeping it beneath her foot to stop blood from dripping onto the couch. Beth momentarily glanced over when the towel was removed and then looked away in fright. She had a vague awareness of Janice running from the room covering her mouth with her hand. The long shard was buried through the sole of her foot, its end protruding from the top. Blood was still seeping from the wound and Dario carefully applied antiseptic solution to get a clear view of the entry and exit.

At this point, Dario was worried that Cathy would go into shock. The blood had drained from her skin which was cool and clammy when he touched it. She was shaking in pain and fear and he decided it would be better to remove the glass shard and then take her to the hospital. He didn’t think there were any major blood vessels around the wound but nevertheless wanted to be prepared if there was excessive bleeding.

“Elizabeth, can you please go and get one of your father’s ties – not a good one.”

She looked at him quizzically but went upstairs to do what he asked. When she returned he placed it beside him on the couch.

“Cathy, you’re being very brave. I am going to remove the glass now but I need to take a quick look inside the wound first. Are you alright with that?”

The young girl started sobbing in anticipation of the pain but nodded her agreement.

From the first-aid kit, Dario took out an envelope containing sterile gloves, put them on and then took out a pair of tweezers and removed them from their sterile packaging. When he was ready he looked at Beth and somehow she just understood that he wanted her to hold Cathy tightly. Gently holding the end of the glass shard with one hand, he used the tweezers to pull the skin to one side so he could see deeper into the wound. Cathy cried out as her whole body tensed in pain.

“You’re doing really well, Cathy. Just a little longer and it will be over.”

Dario shifted position slightly and then switching the tweezers to his other hand repeated the inspection on the other side of the entry wound. The glass had passed between two bones and he was confident that it did not have a barb that would cause further damage if he pulled it out. He took the clean towel between his fingers and then used it to grasp the protruding glass.

“Can you take a deep breath, Cathy.”

When the girl did so Dario pulled out the shard in one smooth motion.

“It’s out, Cathy. You did really well. I’m going to put some antiseptic on now which will sting a little and then a bandage. Then we will take you to the hospital so the doctors can make sure everything is alright.”

Dario applied more antiseptic to both sides of the wound and then some gauze. Finally he carefully wrapped a bandage around her foot and secured its free end.

“Elizabeth, can you please get the keys for your mother’s car and then help Cathy put on some clothes. You should also get dressed as I will need you to be with Cathy in the car.”

Beth did as he asked and only when she returned to help Cathy dress did Dario leave the girl to give her some privacy. Janice and Jessica had also quickly dressed, wanting to go with their friend to the hospital. When they were ready, Dario carried Cathy to the car and placed her in the backseat. He had asked Beth to bring Cathy’s purse and, despite the heat, a blanket to cover her. Beth and Jessica sat either side of Cathy while Janice sat in the front passenger seat.

Once they were on the road, Dario had Janice input the hospital address into the car’s navigation system. As they drove into town the only conversation was between Dario and Cathy. He kept her talking, asking her about her family and her interests. Beth also noted that he was constantly checking on her in the rear-view mirror. As they neared the hospital, he asked her if she had a health insurance card in her purse and then had Beth confirm it was there. They stopped outside the emergency department and Dario carried Cathy inside. He calmly explained to the receptionist what had happened and was quickly shown through to an examining room, leaving Beth to give the receptionist Cathy’s insurance details.

When the doctor arrived just moments later she introduced herself and asked Dario to repeat his description of the injury and what had been done. She then spoke with Cathy and took her pulse and blood pressure before removing the bandage and examining the wound.

“It looks fairly clean, Cathy, but we will need to take some X-rays to make sure there’s no glass still inside and there’s no bone damage.“

When the doctor left, Dario turned to the girl.

“Would you like to have one of your friends stay here with you?”

“No. Please stay.”

Dario remained, quietly talking with her until a nurse came to take her for X-rays. He helped her into the wheelchair and then retook his seat. It didn’t take long and then a few minutes later the doctor reentered.

“Hi Cathy. Everything looks good. The wound is clean; there’s no dirt or glass remaining and no bone damage or other injury that we can see. You’re a lucky girl. I just need to put in some stitches and bandage you up and then you’ll be free to leave.

Lying on the examining table, Cathy reached for Dario’s hand and held it as the doctor administered some local anaesthetic and then inserted the stitches. When she was finished she and Dario helped Cathy back into the wheelchair.

“OK You’re good to go, Cathy. You’ll need to keep the wound dry for the next 48 hours and keep weight off the foot for four days. If you find you have a lot of pain or swelling or reddening you should come back here to be examined. Do you understand all that?”

“Yes, thank you Doctor.”

When they pushed through the double doors into the reception area, Beth, Jessica and Janice rushed over. When Cathy filled them in on what the doctor had said they were visibly relieved.

It was a subdued drive back to the house but when Dario stopped the car in the courtyard Cathy spoke up.

“Dario, I’m sorry we were so rude to you last week.”

Beth thought it was a little ironic that Cathy was apologizing when she was the only one of them who hadn’t been mean to him.

“That’s alright, Cathy. I understand” he answered with an encouraging smile.

“And thank you for everything you’ve done today. I don’t know what would have happened if you weren’t here.”

“I am glad I could help and I hope your foot is completely better soon.”

It was now late afternoon and Mrs. Collins would be here soon to pick up the girls. Beth cringed at the thought of Todd being sent instead and prayed that Janice’s mother would not be called away. The girls went inside to collect their things and to prepare their stories for the inevitable questions to come. Dario returned to the barn to resume his work.

When the SUV arrived about twenty minutes later, Beth was relieved to see that it was Janice’s mother. She and Jessica helped Cathy hop out to the car and when she was seated told Mrs. Collins what had happened, more or less. Mrs. Collins was shocked to hear that they had needed to go to the hospital but relieved that everything was alright. She quickly called Cathy’s mother to let her know and had Cathy speak to her directly. While Cathy was speaking with her mother, Mrs. Collins went over to the barn to thank Dario for helping the girls and driving them to the hospital.

When everyone had left, Beth reluctantly trekked over to the barn to find Dario.

“Can you not tell my parents what happened today?”

She could see the reluctance on his face but after a couple of moments he nodded his assent. Turning quickly she returned to the house and went up to her bedroom. Sitting on her bed, she tried to think of what to do. There was no way her parents wouldn’t hear about Cathy’s accident and yet Dario had agreed not to tell them. Why? He might get into trouble for not saying something. And then she thought about what he had not asked and she understood. He had given her the space she needed to be the one to tell them. She took a deep breath and headed downstairs.

The sun was beginning to set when Carol and Andrew got back to the house, excited by their day in town and their success in finding some furniture they really liked. They were surprised to find Beth there to meet them.

“Can I talk to you?”

They followed her into the living room and sat down. In the fading light, she told them everything that had happened, leaving out only the most embarrassing details.

“It must have been really frightening, Honey. Thank you for telling us” said Carol getting up and sitting down beside her daughter and putting her arm around her shoulder.

Beth just nodded, trying desperately not to cry. And for once not shrugging off her mother’s embrace.

“It sounds like you did everything right, Beth. I’m proud of you.”

That praise from her father just tipped her over the edge and tears started to make their way down her face. Her mother just held her and then after a couple of minutes looked up at her husband.

“Andrew, why don’t you stay with Beth while I tidy a few things.”

Carol traded places with her husband and then went out to the pool deck. She could see no sign of the spilled drinks and broken glass. Everything was clean. She returned to the house and went down to the laundry room. There she found the dryer going with some towels tumbling inside. There was also a faint, lingering odour of bleach. She was surprised, very surprised.

Back in the living room she knelt down in front of her daughter and lifted her chin up to look directly into her eyes.

“Thank you, Honey. I’m going to make some dinner now: Would you be able to have some?”

Beth nodded. Despite everything that had happened today, somehow she’d found a scrap of peace.

Chapter Text

Over the next couple of days, Beth began to experience what was for her a foreign emotion, guilt. It bugged her. Eventually, when she saw her mother cleaning some vegetables in the kitchen she slouched over and with as little grace as possible, tried to assuage that guilt.

“If you... er.... still want Dario to eat dinner with us, it’s OK.”

Carol turned around, surprised but pleased.

“OK, thanks Honey. I’ll let him know for this evening.”

When her daughter left the room, Carol tried to understand this change of heart. Beth had been clear when she told them of Cathy’s injury just how much Dario had done to help the girl. She imagined her daughter was feeling grateful for that help.

Hearing her mother calling her down for dinner, Beth felt awkward. She was almost regretting her moment of weakness. She certainly wasn’t looking forward to having Dario there and just prayed he wouldn’t say anything stupid about Cathy’s accident and the fact that her friends were sunbathing topless, a point she had been too embarrassed to mention when she recounted the events to her parents.

They were all seated at the table when she came into the room and took her usual place, now opposite Dario. She acknowledged him with the barest of nods and then focused intently on the food in front of her. She felt tense, the muscles of her neck and shoulders taut. She wouldn’t be expected to say anything, she rarely did unless it was to complain, but there was always the risk her parents would start some embarrassing conversation. Talking about when they were young, god forbid, or even worse, about her. When her mother asked Dario about his family and the town where he lived, she relaxed slightly. This was much safer ground. And as she listened to his relies, that tension eased further. It was like listening to poetry. His voice was so gentle and sweet and his descriptions of people and places were like pictures painted in soft, pastel colours. Even when her father asked about the work he was doing in the barn, he could make the most boring of topics sound interesting and beautiful. She just sat there, actually grateful to her parents for asking him questions.

When they had finished eating, Beth was surprised when Dario collected their dirty things and took them to the sink to wash. For some reason her mother didn’t stop him and then her father joined him to dry the cleaned items. She wasn’t sure what to do so just wandered off back to her room.

Waking the next morning and realizing it was a Saturday, Beth was surprised to find herself wondering whether Dario had gone away again for the weekend. She dressed, went downstairs and then out into the courtyard. There was no sound coming from the barn and the doors were all closed. Back in the kitchen, her mother confirmed that indeed he had gone hiking, leaving Beth feeling vaguely resentful.

Later that day, lying out on the deck and trying to read a book, Beth felt the irritability and restlessness that seemed to define her life now. And as she set the book down and let her thoughts drift, she also felt an underlying fear and a vast, vast emptiness. She felt incredibly lonely and a deep sadness, never far away, descended on her. She remembered a time when she wasn’t like this but it seemed so long ago: When she was a different girl. She wanted to cry for no reason she could explain. She wanted to hide in her room and never leave. She wanted not to feel, not to be.

On Sunday afternoon, Beth found herself aimlessly wandering the property, walking around the pool or the courtyard or along the paths to the woods or the meadows. And then returning from the woods one time, she caught a glimpse of Dario shrugging off his backpack and entering the barn. The restlessness that had driven her settled only briefly. She went up to her room, put on her running gear and headed out. Gradually quickening her pace, she glided along the trail. Her steps, light and accurate, easily compensated for the uneven ground. She continued out, further than she usually went, before finally turning back. She picked up the pace, now no longer comfortable, pushing herself hard. About half a mile from the house she increased her pace still more, ignoring her tiring legs and the burning sensation in her lungs. And then with the house in view a few hundred yards away she sprinted. When her shoes hit the gravel courtyard she slowed and stopped, exhausted. Her brain seemed to cloud over and reaching her hands down to her thighs, she bent over panting for breath. When her vision cleared and her breathing returned to some semblance of normality, she continued up to her room and took a long shower.

Getting ready for dinner, Beth put on a black, pleated skirt and purple sweater with ankle socks and sneakers. She combed her hair out and pulling it back tightly, attaching a simple black scrunchie to keep it in place. When her mother called her, she went down feeling a little nervous. Dario was already seated and gave her a quick, friendly smile as her parents brought the dishes to the table.

While everyone helped themselves to the food, her mother asked Dario about his hike and Beth listened intently. He talked about the beauty of the lake and peaks around it and when he spoke, he would put down his knife and fork and use his hands as much as his words as he described the places he had visited. Beth felt like she was there. Her mother asked him all sorts of questions about what food he prepared and where he camped and Beth enjoyed hearing these details and understanding what it was like for him. It didn’t occur to her to join the conversation but she was happy just to listen and watch.

After they had all finished eating, Dario again collected everything from the table and carried them to the sink. When her father stood up Beth shocked herself by speaking.

“It’s OK Dad. I can do the drying.”

“Thanks, Honey” he replied, almost hiding his surprise.

She felt self-conscious as she stood up, found the drying cloth and began to dry and put away the plates and cutlery. Her mother tidied away the condiments and then sealed the unused food and put it in the fridge. When they had finished cleaning up, Dario wished them each a good night and left to return to the barn.

Hearing a faint knock at the door, Dario imagined it must be Mr. Andrew or Mrs. Carol but on opening it found Miss Elizabeth standing outside. She didn’t say anything but he understood that she wanted to talk and invited her in. She walked slowly to the living area, looking at nothing but the floor in front of her, and sat down on the couch. He pulled over a wooden chair and sat opposite, noticing how tense she appeared. Every muscle in her body was rigid, as if she would fly apart should a single fibre relax. He remained quiet giving her the time and space to speak when she wanted.

“Do.... do you hate me?”

“No, Miss Elizabeth I don’t hate you.”

“Do you think I’m a terrible person?”

“No, I don’t think you are a terrible person.”

She seemed to consider these answers.

“But why? I was horrible to you, really horrible.”

He remained quiet for a moment, considering how to respond.

“Everyone does things or says things that are not good sometimes. It doesn’t mean we are a bad person. It just means we are imperfect, we’re human.”

She sat there rigid, unconvinced, and he could see how lost she was. Lost in the world and lost in herself. He wanted to try to help her.

“Can I ask you a question, Miss Elizabeth?”

“Beth, call me Beth.”

“Can I ask you a question, Beth?”

“Sure” she said, her voice sounding anything but.

“If I asked people who know you well, your friends, to describe you using only three words, what words do you think they would use?”

She thought about his question for a few moments.

“Angry.... mean.... a bitch.”

He let the words sink in before gently asking “Is that who you want to be?”

For a few seconds she just looked at him and then her hands went to cover her face before she doubled over, her chest resting on her thighs. Her tears poured out, her shoulders and back heaving with each heart-rending sob.

“I’m sorry my question hurt you, Beth.”

She shook her head from side to side, her tears undiminished. He didn’t know what to do but hated to see the girl in such obvious pain. Standing up, he crossed the gap between them, sat down beside her and gently placed his arm across her back, his hand on the top of her shoulder. He could feel her pain in every convulsion as her back rose and fell with each wracking sob. Just being with her was all he could offer. He remained there, giving her company, feeling the warmth of her body through the purple sweater. Gradually her tears subsided, her body stilled and when she finally lifted up he removed his arm. She wiped the sleeve of her sweater across her nose, leaving a trail of mucous and then wiping this away with her hand.

“You’re right, I’m a horrible person. It’s just who I am” she gulped.

“No, Beth, no. That’s not what my question meant. I’m sure you’re a lovely person but maybe you’re hiding the person you really are. Maybe you’re trying to protect the real Beth behind the image of someone else.”

“But why would I do that?”

“Perhaps because you’re scared.”

“I don’t want to be horrible. I don’t want to be a bitch.”

“You don’t have to be, Beth. You can choose to be whoever you want. You can choose to be the lovely girl you really are.”

“You make it sound easy.”

“No, it’s not easy. But you can do it. You will just need to be very brave.”

“Why do I need to be brave?”

“I think there are things that frighten you very much and you’ve built a wall, a shield, around the real Beth to protect you from those fears. You’ve created someone else, someone not very nice, to hide behind, to protect you. If you allow the real Beth to show, you’ll need to confront those fears and, maybe, suffer the pain they bring.”

She looked at him, riveted by his words. Could this be true? She struggled to believe, to accept what he was saying.

“But what am I so afraid of?”

“It might relate to something you don’t want to talk about.”

She guessed then what he was thinking and though embarrassed wanted to hear more.

“No, go on.”

“OK. But just tell me at any time if you want me to stop.”

She nodded her agreement and tried to steel herself for his words.

“You know that girls of your age can be incredibly cruel. And unlike your friends, your body has not yet started to change into that of a woman. You believe that if the people around you did not fear you they would say things that hurt you deeply. You are afraid of being humiliated and, perhaps, being excluded from the social groups you admire. You truly fear for your very existence at school. I think you’ve created an image of yourself as a really nasty person so that others won’t risk trying to hurt you.”

His analysis and the confidence with which he presented it, shocked her. She wanted to feel angry: Angry that he would presume to understand her. But the anger wouldn’t come. Could this be true? Was it possible that the person she though she was was just an invention, a facade? It didn’t seem credible but somehow his words resonated with something deep inside her.

“But if I’ve created this image of myself because I’m scared of being bullied at school, why am I such a bitch to my parents? They aren’t going to hurt me.”

“Once you put on this new personality it’s difficult to take it off. It’s as if you become the person you’re pretending to be. But I think there may also be something else.”

“What?”

“Beth, I think you love your parents very much.”

She dropped her eyes to the floor and slowly, reluctantly nodded.

“You love your parents but you’re trying to push them away. I’m not sure why but for some reason I think you’re trying to protect them. Does any of this make sense to you?”

“I’m not sure. I’ve never thought of things like this before. How.... how do you know this kind of stuff?”

“These are just my thoughts, Beth. I studied psychology at university and when I watch you and listen to you I cannot help trying to understand why you behave the way you do.”

She nodded, deep in thought. His words had opened up something inside her. Her sadness and loneliness seemed just a little less intense.

“Could.... could I talk to you about this kind of stuff again?”

“Of course, Beth. Any time you want.”

“Thank you” she said and then laughed ruefully. “I can’t remember the last time I said that.”

She wiped her eyes and cheeks with the sleeve of her sweater and noticed the faint tear stains on her black skirt.

“God, I must look a mess.”

“No. You look lovely” he said smiling softly.

“Thank you. Oh my god, now I can’t stop saying it!”

He laughed, slowly standing up. It was getting late and Dario had no doubt that Beth’s parents were aware that she was with him. He hoped they wouldn’t be upset but obviously they would be concerned.

When Beth got to the barn door, she turned to face him.

“Can I come and see you tomorrow after dinner?”

“Yes. But Beth, your parents will wonder why you’re here. Would you be willing to talk to them and tell them why?”

She nodded, reddening slightly.

“Thank you” he said.

“Oh no. It’s contagious” she laughed as she walked away across the courtyard.

Hearing the front door open, Carol left the kitchen where she had been waiting and hurried to the hallway. When she saw that her daughter appeared to have been crying her concerns rose sharply.

“Is everything alright, Honey?”

“It’s OK, Mum. Really. I.... I went to tell Dario I was sorry.”

Carol took a breath, relieved but now surprised and confused.

“But, Honey, have you been crying?”

Beth nodded, trying to think how she could explain what had happened.

“Dario asked me questions, questions about myself. Difficult questions. It’s hard to explain. But I want to talk with him again. He said I should tell you.”

“OK, Honey. But did he upset you? Did he make you cry?”

“No, Mum. He just made me think about some things. About why I do things. He helped me see things differently. It.... it actually helped.”

Carol was no less confused but appreciated that her daughter was trying to be open with her and was, so far, a less hostile version of herself than usual.

“OK, Honey, but if there’s ever anything that concerns you or that you want to talk about, please come to me. OK?”

“I know. I will, Mum.”

Later as Beth lay in bed she tried to replay everything that had happened that night. She wanted to remember exactly what Dario had said. His ideas about why she behaved the way she did had sounded crazy but the more she thought about it the less crazy they seemed. As she explored his ideas, new questions came to mind and she couldn’t wait to talk with him again tomorrow.

Lying there in the dark Beth remembered when Dario had touched her. She turned onto her stomach and imagined his arm resting once more on her back, his hand cradling her shoulder. The frantic thoughts and worries that usually screamed in her head at night now kept their distance. She felt calm and warm, and quietly lay there until sleep softly took her.

Dario too was remembering Beth’s visit. He felt sorry for the young girl and hoped that he could help her. He had been honest when he told her she could change but he knew how difficult that change would be and how much help she might need. And he remembered when she had looked up at him, her face covered in tears and mucous, and he thought he had never seen anyone so beautiful.

The following day Beth was restless once again. She was impatient to talk with Dario and also realized that she wanted to see him, to be with him. She was unsure whether all of these feeling were connected to her desire to better understand herself or whether there was something else driving her. In the morning she checked to make sure he was in the barn but did not go out to talk with him, instead going to the pool to swim, sunbath and try to read her book. By late-afternoon, to quell her restlessness, she again went for a long, hard run. Only the exhaustion that brought gave her a measure of release from the pent-up tension that ran through her. After a shower, she took care dressing, picking out her favourite jeans and a simple but nice white blouse.

She found herself waiting impatiently for her mum to call her down to dinner, checking her watch constantly as if the meal might be late. And when the call came she rushed down, worried that perhaps he wouldn’t be there and feeling relief to find him already seated. As they ate, her father asked Dario how the day had gone and he described what he had been doing in the barn. When the conversation lulled she felt a need to speak.

“Do you.... have any brothers or sisters?”

“I have a sister, Alessandra. I always think of her as my little sister as she is eight years younger than me, but she has started university so not so little any more.”

“Is she pretty?”

“Yes she is very beautiful and also very nice, very sweet.”

“Does she have a boyfriend?”

He chuckled “she has quite a few admirers but I don’t know if she has anyone special.”

She wanted to ask him if he had a girlfriend but suddenly found herself unable to speak. Her mother continued the conversation, asking Dario more about Alessandra and what she would study at university, and Beth retreated back inside herself.

When dinner was over and Dario started clearing the table, Beth stood up to help him, missing the look that passed between her parents. In silence, she dried the plates and cutlery and put them away, aware that her mother was also there but oblivious to the fact that she seemed to be constantly finding new things to do. When Dario left she went up to her room. He had agreed they could talk again tonight but for some reason Beth felt she should not simply return to the barn with him but rather go to him later.

During the day Dario had wondered how best he should continue his conversations with Beth. Their being alone together in the barn was awkward and was bound to raise concerns with her parents. However, Beth might not want to talk in the house where her parents could possibly overhear. On balance he believed it was better to allow the girl to decide where she felt more comfortable.

On hearing the knock on the door he let Beth in and followed her into the living area. When she was seated on the couch he again sat opposite in the wooden chair.

“Did you let your parents know you are here?”

She nodded. “I told my mum last night. I.... I wasn’t really sure how to explain it. I said you were helping me try to understand things.”

“Thank you, Beth.”

“I.... I tried to think about what you said yesterday. It’s confusing.... some things sort of make sense but other things don’t.”

He smiled. “I know. If we were always logical and rational it would be much easier, but we are not. Our emotions sometimes make us do things that don’t make sense.”

“You said I’m trying to push my parents away, but if I love them why would I do that?”

“I’m not sure, but it might be something that will be very hard for you to talk about.”

Beth understood his warning was serious. The emotions he had triggered the previous night had been incredibly raw.

“I.... I’d like to understand, even if it hurts.”

He looked directly into her eyes and nodded.

“Beth, can you tell me about some of the times you have been nasty to people at school, or with strangers?”

She paused a minute to think and then slowly describe events when she had been angry or mean. Times she had deliberately tried to exclude people from her circle of friends. She talked about servers or wait staff she had ignored or to whom she had been rude. There was even the time, she said, when she deliberately tripped another runner in a race she was in.

Dario listened carefully, not interrupting, and when she finished talking he just sat quietly for a few moments looking at her.

“The people you were mean to, were they horrible people? Had they hurt you?”

“Sometimes they’d been mean to me but no, not always.”

He took a moment before continuing, in the same quiet, gentle voice he always used.

“Were you ever cruel to someone who was nice?”

Her eyes dropped and she nodded, unable to speak. Her face transformed into a vision of anguish. Hot, fat tears trickled down her cheeks and her eyes looked up to find his, pleading for something. And as he silently watched, that anguish was replaced by an ocean of shame and self-loathing.

As her tears continued and her shoulders began to shake, he rose and sitting down beside her put his arm around her shoulder. He knew how painful this was for the young girl but he also knew that she needed to confront what she had done.

“It’s alright, Beth, take your time. I’m here with you.”

Her small hands clasped and unclasped in her lap as she fought to contain her emotions. He watched her grasp her wrists, driving her nails into the skin and leaving cold, white marks behind, in an unconscious act of punishment.

“There was a girl in a lower grade than me. S-She w-was shy.... she didn’t have many friends. One day.... she wore a sweater to school that had.... it had.... ducks on it. Oh god.... oh god.”

Beth covered her face with her hands and started sobbing violently, uncontrollably.

“It’s alright, Beth. Nobody is judging you. It’s alright.”

When she was able to slow her tears, Beth continued in faltering sentences, visibly steeling herself so that she could tell Dario what had happened.

“I laughed at her. I.... I said her sweater was really ugly. I asked her if.... if her mum had made it.... or her dad. My friends started laughing and.... and then the kids in her class joined in. She.... she started to cry but I just kept hurting her. I asked if her dad made it because she’s.... an ugly duckling. I was horrible.... so, incredibly horrible.”

Beth paused, overcome by the effort of stanching her misery. Dario guessed there was more and patiently waited until she was able to continue.

“After that, whenever I saw her I.... I would taunt her. She n-never wore the sweater again so I would ask her where it was. I called her ‘Duck Girl’ or would quack at her and then all the people around would join in. It was horrible. I would go looking for her at recess or during the lunch break with my friends just so we could make her c-cry.”

Beth shook her head slowly from side to side, her teeth gritted, as unimaginable guilt slowly clamped around her temples. And as she admitted each new facet of her cruelty, the possibility of forgiveness, of redemption, seemed even more undeserved. Only Dario’s arm around her shoulder gave her the strength to continue.

“She.... she was a nice girl.... a kind girl and I did that to her. For no reason.... just to be cruel.”

Dario could feel something welling up inside Beth. There was something else and it was torturing her.

“Dario, she s-stopped coming to school. I.... don’t know what happened to her.... what I did to her.”

With an anguished wail she turned towards him, wrapping her arms around him and burying her face in his chest. She prayed that his understanding might be willing to cover even her senseless evil.

He gently hugged her trying to take some of her pain. She had been brave in bringing back this dark memory but he knew it was important for her to accept responsibility for exactly what she had done.

“Beth, you bullied her and drove her out of your school.”

She nodded her head against his chest and gulped out a painful “Yes”.

He gave her time, his arms around her, feeling her shoulders shake through the thin blouse. He could feel the wetness of her tears through his T-shirt. When her body stilled he released his embrace, placed his hands on her shoulders and gently moved her back so that he could look into her face.

“Beth, what happened before you did this to the girl?”

She gulped and looked down, seemingly reluctant to answer.

“You.... you were right. The girls in my class, even my friends, started to tease me about.... about my body. At first it wasn’t so bad but they.... they kept on. They would say I should use the boys changing room or that I was good at dodge ball because I wasn’t worried about getting hit in the chest or some other stupid stuff. And whenever anyone said something like that all the other girls would laugh at me. And then my friends suddenly didn’t want to hang out or didn’t invite me to their house. It was like I had some terrible disease and no one wanted to risk catching it.”

“And when you started bullying this girl did people stop teasing you?”

She nodded recognizing now that she had protected herself by hurting someone else.

“Yes, they stopped. I guess they became afraid of me and so I just kept doing horrible things to make sure they wouldn’t start teasing me again. I became the horrible bitch I am now.”

“Beth, there is a difference between what you did and who you are. You’re a lovely, kind girl but you became scared, really scared and to protect yourself you pretended to be someone else. Someone mean and cruel.”

“Can I change? Can I go back to who I was?”

“Yes and we can talk about that but first, I would like to ask you another question. Is that alright?”

By now Beth understood that Dario was asking her permission to raise a subject that might be difficult for her and she was understandably a little nervous. But as painful as these last two nights had been, being able to talk about what had happened was an incredible relief. Sharing her fears and shame with someone as kind and understanding as Dario brought a comfort she had never imagined. The tension that had been ever present and that had stolen any sense of peace or happiness, was easing. She still felt guilt and shame and fear but now there was also a glimmer of hope. She wanted to continue down this path, to tell him everything and hear his thoughts. She nodded to him to go ahead.

“Beth, do you think you deserve your parents’ love?”

“No. How can they love someone like me.”

And then she saw it: Why she was pushing her parents away. Why she was trying to make them hate her. She didn’t deserve their love. And if they knew what she’d done, who she really was, they could never love her.

“Oh my god. That’s why I’m trying to push my parents away, trying to make them hate me.”

He nodded, pleased for her that she had come to this realization.

“Will.... will I stop doing it, now that I understand?”

“Beth, you have done really well. You’ve figured out why you have been behaving this way. That understanding is really important but I think there is more you need to do. I think you have to set aside the mean, cruel image and be the real Beth: The kind, caring girl you really are. You need to be able to love yourself before you can allow your parents to love you. I think you are also carrying a lot of shame and guilt and you’re going to need to forgive yourself. Does.... does that make sense?”

She nodded. Now the things they had talked about, the answers to his questions, were beginning to fit together.

“How can I do that? How can I change who I am, how I feel?”

“You can do it, Beth but that is a long conversation and it is getting late. And I imagine your parents are a little concerned even if they understand why we are talking. Would you mind if we continue our conversation another time?”

She looked up at him. She would have gladly kept talking all night if he would let her. She didn’t want to leave, she wanted to be with him. But she understood.

“OK but can we talk again tomorrow night?”

“Of course, Beth. I look forward to that.”

He rose and she reluctantly followed his lead. At the door she turned to face him. She wanted to say something, she wanted to hold him, to have him hold her, but she felt self-conscious, suddenly shy and nervous.

“You’ve done really well, Beth.”

“Thank you.”

She waited there hoping for more and thought she saw something in his eyes, some movement, but then it was gone and she pivoted and returned to the main house.

When the front door opened her mother rushed to meet her, making no pretense that she hadn’t been waiting anxiously for her return.

“What happened, Beth? Why have you been crying?’

“It’s OK, Mum. Really it’s OK.”

“But what’s going on? What are you doing with Dario?”

“Mum, Dario is helping me understand why I do some of the things I do. The mean, unkind things. He’s trying to help me not be like that.”

“But why Dario? Why can’t you talk with me or your dad about that kind of thing?”

“Mum, I know you want to help but some of the issues involve you and dad. I just need someone else to talk to. And he understands, he really understands.”

“But he’s just a workman, a carpenter. How does he understand?”

“Mum, he’s not just a carpenter. He went to University. He truly understands. Honestly.”

Beth suddenly felt possessive of her friendship with Dario. She didn’t want to share him with anyone else, or share the information she knew about him, that he had studied psychology. She just wanted him for herself.

“Mum, please don’t worry. It’s OK. Really it is. Dario is helping me.”

Carol remained concerned and confused but she had to acknowledge her daughter’s unusually patient reassurances. Her very demeanour and the fact that she was even willing to answer questions suggested a shift away from her normal, viperous self.

“OK, Honey. I just worry about you. I want you to be OK, to be happy.”

“I know, Mum. I want that too. Good night.”

In her room Beth felt tired. The emotions she had experienced had drained her. She washed her face, brushed her teeth and then put on her pyjamas and got into bed. As she had last night, she felt a peace and serenity which were foreign but incredibly welcome. She remembered when Dario had held her and imagined those arms around her body again. In this wanted embrace she drifted into a tranquil sleep.

Back in the barn, Dario was feeling less serene. He was pleased by the progress that Beth had made but he was concerned by the feelings he was developing for her. She was young, too young. And yet she needed his help and support. He could not abandon her now. He would never encourage her but he suspected she was also feeling something for him. He had seen it in her eyes. Whatever happened he would need to control his emotions. He just wasn’t sure how he was going to do that.

Chapter Text

Dario was installing the new windows at the back of the barn when he heard the patio door open and someone walk out onto the pool deck. Turning, he looked down from the scaffolding to see Beth approaching.

“Dario, could I help you?”

Of all the questions he might have anticipated, this was not one. He wondered for a moment if he had misunderstood her.

“You mean, help me with my work?”

“Yes. If you’d like.”

He was being paid for this project so Dario was a little unsure whether he should accept her offer but he also didn’t want to appear ungrateful.

“Thank you, Beth. That is kind of you. I need to stain and seal these new windows, you can help me if you would like.”

“Sure. Just tell me what to do.”

“Alright. So we will first put on a thin layer of stain. You might want to wear really old clothes and some old shoes just in case any stain gets on them.”

“OK, let me get changed. I’ll be right back.”

While Beth went off to change, Dario climbed down and went to collect the stain and some brushes. He also collected his safety harness for the girl to use. The scaffolding was not very high but he didn’t want to risk an accident. The harness was much too big for her small frame but he twisted and cinched the straps as much as possible. When Beth got back he had her step into the harness. He was very conscious of how close she was as he tightened and checked the straps. He had her climb the ladder directly in front of him and then attached the end of her safety line to an overhead rail so she could move back and forth along the platform. He had already placed tape on the glass to protect it, so he showed Beth how to apply a thin layer of stain and then brush it into the wood. As she started work on the first window, he move over on the scaffold to continue installing another one.

He had suspected the girl had only offered to help so that she could continue their conversation from last night but to his surprise she remained quiet as she focused on the work. They continued together in a comfortable silence until he finished installing the second window and came over to see how she was doing.

“That looks good, Beth, nice even staining.”

“Thanks” she said, smiling at him. “Do you want me to do that one when I’m finished?”

“Sure. That would be very helpful. I need to go down to get the next set of windows to be installed.”

For the rest of the morning, Dario continued to replace the temporary windows and when he had installed each new one, Beth would move over and apply the stain. It was now past noon and Dario would normally stop for lunch.

“We should take a break and get some lunch, Beth. Would you like to join me?”

“Sure, let me just finish this window.”

“Alright. I will be in the kitchen.”

Preparing a simple salad and some sandwiches for them both, Dario wondered what was going on in Beth’s head. Was she helping him as a token of gratitude for the advice he was providing or was she being friendly, perhaps trying to be a good person? Or was she somehow attracted to him? He decided it was far more likely that she saw him as a friend, possibly the equivalent of an older brother. He wasn’t going to pretend he didn’t think she was pretty but obviously she was way too young for anything other than friendship.

Dario would likely have been interested to know that just as he was trying to understand Beth’s intentions, her parents were having the same conversation, albeit out loud, back in the main house.

“First of all she can’t stand him and just wants him gone and now she seems to spend ever moment she can with him. And she tells you he’s helping her understand herself?”

“That’s what she says. She’s obviously struggling with something Andrew because each time she comes back at night, it’s clear she’s been crying.”

“But he’s a joiner. How is he helping her understand herself?”

“I don’t know, Honey but he has the benefit of not being one of her parents and he’s closer in age to her. Maybe she needs someone she can talk to and she’s more comfortable with him.”

“But do you think there’s anything else going on?”

“I don’t know. It’s possible she’s got a bit of a crush on him. Frankly he’s a guy, he’s not bad looking and she doesn’t have any male friends, so who knows.”

“But he’s way too old!”

“Honey, I had crushes all the time when I was her age. They come and they quickly go. And let’s not get ahead of ourselves, we don’t even know if she does have a crush.”

“OK but I’m still going to worry. Especially with them together in the barn at night. Why can’t they talk in the kitchen after dinner?”

“Honey, seriously? With us around in the next room? No she obviously feels more comfortable talking with him outside our home. And I know it’s way too soon to draw any conclusions but she hasn’t screamed at us in days. Maybe he is helping her deal with her emotions. Maybe he’s a good influence on her.”

When Beth came into the barn Dario noticed how happy she looked. The tension that was often on her face seemed to have gone. She asked to use the bathroom to clean up and he noted her politeness. This was more her property than his but she respected that he was living here now and asked his permission.

When she joined him in the kitchen and sat down to eat, she asked more about what they needed to do next for the windows. He explained that the stain would need to dry for a day before they could seal it so he would be installing new skirting that afternoon. She nodded, obviously intending to continue to help him and seemed genuinely interested in plans for the barn. He was happy to talk about the project and outlined what would be done over the summer. After they had finished eating, she helped him clean their things in the sink and they then went outside to where the new joinery was stored under the tarpaulin sheets.

With Dario holding one end of the skirting strips and Beth the other, he lead them back inside and up the stairs. When she could see the upper level Beth was astonished by how it was already transformed. The whole space had been opened up but with raised sections on either side accessed by wide steps. The temporary plywood sheets had now been largely replace by hardwood floors and the overall effect was impressive despite it’s unfinished nature.

“Wow, I can’t believe how much you have done already.”

“Thank you. Yes the new levels and flooring make a big difference but there is much detailed work that still remains.”

They carried the strips up to one of the raised levels and placed them on canvas sheets that Dario had already lain on the floor. The skirting would go around the walls, resting on the floor. He showed Beth how to find the studs behind the drywall that the skirting would be nailed into and then together they began the work. After gluing the back of each board, either Beth would hold the piece in place while Dario carefully drove in the nails and then countersunk them or they would reverse roles and Beth would do the nailing. She was nervous at first, worried that she would hit the beautiful skirting instead of the nail head, but with Dario’s encouragement she quickly gained confidence. They worked steadily and as they connected the sections Beth realized that each one had been cut to fit perfectly into its neighbour where they joined. It was late afternoon by the time they had finished installing the skirting in what would become the library. As she looked at what they had done, Beth felt a real sense of accomplishment.

“It is already late, Beth, we should take a break for the day. You’ve been a real help, thank you.”

“You’re welcome, I’ve enjoyed it. The skirting looks really great.”

“Yes you’ve done very nice work.”

“Can I still come and talk to you tonight?”

“Of course. I will see you later.”

“And could I help you tomorrow?”

“I would like that but maybe check with your father to make sure he doesn’t mind me having an assistant.”

She smiled at him. “I will.”

“I’ll see you at dinner, Beth, and again, thank you.”

When Beth got back to her room she felt an odd, nervous energy. Changing into her running gear, she went down to the kitchen for some water and then headed out. Once in the trails and having found her rhythm, the calm she wanted descended on her. She gave her body over to this exercise, just focusing on her footsteps and her pace, pushing herself again to run harder and longer. The pain in her legs and her lungs came and then eased as she continued only to return and build as she neared the end. When she hit the gravel courtyard she slowed to a walk and tried to catch her breath. Dario ran she knew, she had seen his running shoes just inside the barn door. She wondered if he was aware that she did too and in that instant wondered if he was watching her from the barn. She hoped he was.

Standing in the shower afterwards, Beth just allowed the hot water to course over her body carrying away the sweat she had earned. After a hard run it always felt like her mind switched off but today something continued to work in the background. Looking down at her child-like body she felt a more acute frustration than usual. She ran her hands down her narrow hips, her fingers running over her smooth vaginal cleft. Her legs were nice she decided, trying to placate herself. But then, studying her chest for any signs of development, her optimism vanished. Yes there was a very slight swelling under her areolae but any ten-year old might have the same. She tried pushing her chest in from either side but somehow the cute little mounds she formed just left her even more disappointed when she removed her hands. She touched her nipples and liked the sensation that gave her. She continued rubbing her fingers over the little nubbins and watched in delight as they swelled and poked out. Janice had told them she liked it when her boyfriend fondled and kissed her breasts but Beth shuddered remembering her only experience. Maybe this was what it felt like if the boy was gentle. She closed her eyes and imagined someone else touching her. The excitement was suddenly electric and there was a warmth at her core that had nothing to do with the cascading water. She turned off the shower and stood there, saddened by the reality that she didn’t have a boyfriend to love and with whom she could share experiences. And worse, with little prospect of getting one given what she had to offer. Her thoughts turned to Dario: Did he have a girlfriend? If he didn’t would he be interested in her? He was much older but he was way cuter than any boy she knew. And he was nice; he was kind to her. But she was kidding herself, he was certain to have a girlfriend back in Italy and even if he didn’t he wouldn’t be interested in her, he could date real women.

To Beth’s surprise one of her questions was answered that very evening. They had just started eating when her mother asked the question that she would have been too afraid to pose.

“Do you have a girlfriend waiting for you back in Italy, Dario?”

“No, Mrs. Carol. I was engaged for two years but my fiancee broke off our engagement about three months ago.”

“Oh, I’m sorry, Dario. That must have been hard for you.”

“Yes, I loved her very much.”

“Did she meet someone else?”

“Yes. She had gone to work in Paris and met someone there. A woman.”

“Oh, my goodness.”

“She was thoughtful. She came home to tell me. She said it had been something she had struggled with: Her sexuality.”

Beth tried to feel sorry for Dario but this emotion was overwhelmed by her delight at knowing that he didn’t have a girlfriend. With this little encouragement she spoke up.

“Dad, is it OK if I help Dario with his work?”

Andrew was not particularly surprised at this request after the earlier conversation with his wife. Clearly it would be hard to find a good reason not to agree.

“Er, sure, Honey, if Dario doesn’t mind.”

“No, Mr. Andrew. Beth is very careful and very quick to learn.”

When dinner was over and everything tidied away, Beth saw no reason not to simply leave with Dario when he said goodnight to everyone. As they walked to the barn however, she realized that her action felt somewhat possessive and intimate.

“I hope you don’t mind me coming with you, you said we could talk again tonight?”

“No, it’s fine, Beth, as long as your parents understand why you are talking with me.

“I told my mum that you’re helping me to understand why I do certain things.”

By now they had reached the barn and walked through to the little living area. As usual, Beth sat on the couch and Dario sat opposite her.

“You know you said that I’ll need to be brave if I stop being a nasty bitch, is that because the girls at school might start to bully me?”

“Yes, partly. If the only reason some girls have not been mean to you is because they fear you, then if they lose that fear they may want to hurt you. Especially if you have attacked them in the past, they may want revenge. But there’s also something else. When you change, your friends won’t know who you are. They’ll be confused. They may turn against you just because they don’t understand what’s happened to you.”

“So I could be left with no friends?”

“Yes. But do you want friends who only like the mean, nasty Beth or do you want friends who like the real Beth?”

Beth was quiet for a while. She knew girls at school who didn’t have any friends. They never got invited to join any teams or to go to parties and would sit by themselves in the cafeteria. The idea that she could end up like them was frightening.

“I want to be nice but it’s scary thinking of what could happen.”

“I know. School is the hardest place to be when you’re growing up.”

“If I were a good person would you be my friend?”

Dario looked at her. Her eyes were directed down into her lap and he could see a slight tremble, as if she were nervous about his answer. He was struck again by just how beautiful she was. Her features were so delicate and her auburn hair shone even in the subdued lighting. And her lips looked so soft and inviting. He wanted, he really wanted, to hold her and tell her just how much he liked her. But he couldn’t. It wasn’t right. She was too young.

“I am your friend, Beth.”

She looked up at him then and her smile carried a warmth that touched every nerve in his body. It took every fibre of his resolution to not go over to her. He smiled back, encouraging her to continue the conversation.

“So how do I change who I am, how I behave?”

“Well I think the real Beth is a good person so you are not really changing who you are. You only have to change how you behave at times. It might be good to talk about why you sometimes feel angry and what triggers you to behave badly.”

Dario had Beth talk about different times when she had lashed out or attacked someone verbally. He then had her try to remember how she felt before she had lashed out. As she relived those situations, she remembered feeling scared or vulnerable. And when he asked her why she had felt that way, she realized that her insecurities often arose from her lack of physical development.

“Have you heard of the Napoleon complex?” Dario asked.

“I think so. It’s when small men tend to be more aggressive to compensate for the fact they’re small.”

“That’s correct but it is not just men, small women can also show the same tendencies. But in your case, I think it arises out of fear. Fear of rejection or humiliation.”

“And you said before that I’m a bitch to my parents because I hate myself and don’t believe I deserve their love?”

“Yes. The guilt you carry won’t allow you to forgive yourself, at least not until you can change. And I think the anger you often feel is anger at yourself. At your core you know what you’re doing is wrong and this is creating a huge tension and stress for you.”

“So I just need to stop being a bitch and be nice.”

“Yes and there are other things you can do that will also help.”

“Such as what?”

“I think you need to find the young girl you bullied and talk to her: Tell her you’re sorry for what you did. I also think you need to work on your self-confidence. When we lack self-confidence it’s very hard to be ourselves in social situations. We simply don’t have confidence in who we are. You need to appreciate what an incredible person Beth is and that she can do anything she sets her mind to.”

Beth was looking down but nodded at what Dario was saying, thinking about it quietly. Eventually she looked up into his eyes.

“Thank you, Dario. Thank you for being honest with me.”

Dario smiled and nodded. It was getting late and he didn’t want to create any more worry for Beth’s parents.

“We should get some sleep. We have lots of work for tomorrow.”

He walked Beth to the door and then watched her cross the courtyard to the main house. Before going in, she turned and waved.

Lying in bed, Beth replayed their conversation wanting to memorize everything. And then she thought about Dario; his handsome smiling face, his unruly hair and his big, gentle hands. She rolled onto her stomach and imagining his arm on her back, drifted into sleep.

When she awoke the next day, Beth finally checked her phone messages and realized her absence from social media had been a major topic of conversation. To assuage her friends’ concern that she must have died, she invited them over to hang out the next day. She realized that she was reluctant to do so knowing that she wouldn’t be able to help Dario. However, she didn’t want continuing speculation on what had happened to her. That might get awkward.

After grabbing a quick breakfast, Beth headed to the barn to find Dario. They spent the rest of the day together: In the morning continuing to attach the skirting boards in the upper level and then, after a taking a break for lunch, applying a sealant to the stain that Beth had apply the previous day. They talked and joked and at the end of the day Beth was again thrilled to see what she had accomplished.

At dinner that night, Beth actually participated in the conversation, telling her parents about what they had done in the barn and the things she had learned. She glowed with delight when Dario praised her work. When Andrew glanced up at this wife, he saw in her eyes the same hope that was building in his. The daughter they had feared lost to them seemed to be slowly returning. They remained alert for the sudden explosion of anger that always seemed just a comment away but for the moment this was almost like the family conversations they had known and loved.

When Beth had finished helping clean up after dinner, she returned with Dario to the barn and they continued their conversation from the previous evening. She wanted to say sorry to the girl she had bullied and they made plans to find out where she lived. As they talked, Beth found her gaze constantly drawn to Dario. She studied his handsome, tanned face and his soft, brown eyes. She liked when he swept his fingers through the long locks of hair that would fall over this eyes, sweeping them back into place until they returned again. She liked his strong nose with the little kink in the middle, and his wide mouth and those dark, inviting lips. She wanted to reach out and touch his face, feel its warmth under her hand. As she daydreamed, the thought occurred that he might go away on the weekend for one of his hikes into the mountains. The idea that she wouldn’t see him, wouldn’t be able to talk to him, for two days was almost physically painful.

“Dario, are you going on a hike this weekend?”

As soon as he heard the question Dario was alert to where this conversation could go and the potential risks that entailed.

“Yes. I will leave on Saturday and come back Sunday.”

“Could I come with you?”

“I think you would need to ask your parents.”

“OK, but you wouldn’t mind if they say yes?”

“No, it’s fine with me if they agree.”

Beth was excited by the idea of going into the mountains with Dario and then realized that would mean sleeping with him in a tent. The thought sent an excited shiver through her. But would her parents agree to that?

When she returned to the house, Beth could hear her mum and dad in the living room but was nervous about asking their permission to go hiking with Dario. She decided to wait until tomorrow and then just ask her mum.

When she rose the next day she remembered her friends would be coming over later in the morning and hurried downstairs so she could talk to her mother before they arrived. Luckily she was in the kitchen and her dad was nowhere to be seen.

“Mum, is it OK if I go on a hike with Dario this weekend?”

After her earlier conversation with Andrew, Carol should perhaps have been less surprised by this request than she was. She struggled to think of how to answer her daughter.

“Where did this idea come from, Honey? Did Dario suggest it?”

“No. I asked him if I could go but he said I should check with you first.”

Although Carol was partly relieved that this was her daughter’s idea, it added to her concern as to what her daughter’s feelings were for Dario.

“But would this be an overnight trip?”

“Yes, we’d come back on Sunday.”

“But where would you sleep?”

“I’ve got a good sleeping bag and I could share Dario’s tent.”

“But, Honey, is that wise?”

“Mum! It’s just a hike. And I’m not a kid.”

Carol felt like she was in a no-win situation.

“OK. Let me discuss it with your father.”

Beth could feel frustration and anger rising rapidly but remembering what she had committed to do she just nodded, gave her mother a tight smile and walked away.

When Janice, Jessica and Cathy arrived a little later, they peppered Beth with questions about her social media absence. Almost reluctantly she told them she had been busy helping Dario with work on the barn. This news elicited some surprised looks between the girls.

“I thought you hated the guy” said Janice.

“Oh, he not so bad. And it’s fun learning how to do some of the work” Beth offered trying not to blush.

When the girls had changed into their bikinis and were out on the pool deck, Beth noticed that Cathy was unusually quiet and seemed a little nervous. The explanation was clear just a few minutes later.

“Is Dario around, Beth?”

“Yes, he’s working in the barn. Why?”

“I just wanted to thank him for helping me the other day” Cathy replied rising from her sun lounger and looking towards the barn.

“But you already did” Beth replied, feeling suddenly anxious and having to bite back an impulse to say something cutting.

“Yes but now Cathy wants to ‘thank him’ properly, don’t you Cathy?” teased Janice.

“So I think he’s cute. What’s wrong with that.”

Beth’s initial anxiety turned to cold fear as she watched Cathy walk away, adjusting her bikini top to cover less of her young cleavage. She could feel panic rising inside her as she struggled to understand the emotions screaming in her head.

“Oh yeah, she definitely has the hots for her handsome Prince Charming” snickered Jessica. “Not sure we’ll see her again this morning.”

As Janice laughed along with Jessica, she didn’t miss the look of anxiety on Beth’s face. A piece of information she filed away for later.

Beth lay back down on her lounger trying to appear nonchalant but as the minutes ticked by she couldn’t help constantly looking up to see if Cathy was returning. Her mind was racing, trying to imagine what was happening in the barn and desperately searching for any excuse to go there herself. Eventually, unable to stand the growing tension she stood up and headed back to the house.

“I’m just going to grab us some drinks.”

If Cathy wasn’t back when she returned she planed to take her drink over to the barn for her. Once again, her agitation didn’t go unnoticed by Janice.

When Cathy had entered the barn there was no sign of Dario but she could hear sounds coming from the upper level. Nervously she climbed the stairs and when she neared the top she saw him working on a book cabinet over by the far wall. He was facing away from her and the sight of him in shorts made her heart jump. His darkly tanned legs were lean and muscular and the firm contours of his buttocks were apparent beneath the thin material of his shorts. As she tentatively moved towards him she also noticed his strong back pushing out against the green T-shirt. His attention was completely taken up by what he was doing and as she neared her eyes were drawn to the thick locks of hair cascading over his neck. He hadn’t noticed her and she suddenly felt awkward standing so close.

“Er, Dario. Hi.”

He turned and smiled as he recognized her and her heart leapt in hope.

“Oh, sorry Cathy. I didn’t hear you. How are you? How is the foot?”

“It’s good and I get the stitches out soon. I just wanted to thank you for everything you did. You were amazing.”

“I’m glad I could help. And you were incredibly brave. It must have been very scary and painful but you did great.”

“Thank you, Dario. How did you know what to do? It was like you were a doctor.”

“It was fortunate. I’ve taken some First Aid courses, quite advanced courses, so that helped.”

“So what do you like to do when you’re not saving silly girls?”

Dario could sense Cathy’s nervousness and guessed from this and her choice of clothing that she might well have a crush on him. He didn’t want to encourage her but at the same time he didn’t want to embarrass her or undermine her self-confidence. He told her about his interests, his love for running and hiking and exploring the outdoors and asked her about her hobbies and interests.

“I like reading - all kinds of books - and food and meeting new people, making new friends. Do you like making new friends?”

“I do but tell me about the books you like.”

Cathy listed her favourites, many of which Dario had read, and they spent time talking about the characters and plots and sharing their impressions of the stories. This was relatively safe ground but Dario recognized he would need to curtail their conversation before Cathy brought it back to something more charged.

“It’s been lovely talking with you, Cathy but I really should get back to work. I don’t want to upset Mr. Andrew.”

“Sure, yes, I really liked talking with you too. Could we meet again some time?”

“Of course, I’m always here. Come and find me next time you visit Beth.”

As Cathy walked away, Dario hoped that she wouldn’t take too much encouragement from his offer to talk again. Hopefully she would appreciate that he was just being polite. He did however wonder what Beth would make of Cathy’s visit.

Cathy’s continuing absence when Beth had returned with the drinks sent her anxiety into overdrive. She quickly put down the glasses for Janice, Jessica and herself and then started to head for the barn.

“Hold up girl! I’m guessing she’s not going to want company right now even if she might need cooling down” laughed Janice.

Beth stopped, paralyzed by indecision. She desperately wanted to find out what Cathy was doing but was terrified of allowing her interest in Dario to become obvious. She tried to hide her concern as she returned to her lounger.

“Yeah, you’re probably right. It can wait ‘till she gets back.”

Her wait, if not her torment, was soon ended as they saw Cathy strolling towards them grinning from ear to ear.

“What’s up girl? You look like you just ate the canary” Janice asked.

“Nothing much. Dario and I were just hanging out. He’s so cute and did you know he practically trained to be a doctor?”

Beth’s fear suddenly transformed into the seething anger for which she was well-known.

“’Practically a doctor’! He trained to be a psychologist you moron!”

Cathy was taken aback by the sudden eruption of hostilities but had no intention of backing down. She felt a strong possessive instinct and if she had to battle over Dario she was more than willing to do so.

“Whatever, he did medical stuff. And if you want to know more I can ask him because he wants to see me again.”

Beth felt like she’d been punched in the stomach. She sat stunned and silent as Janice and Jessica demanded to know more about what had happened.

“He was really nice and he wanted to know everything about me. He said he really liked me and wants to see me again.”

“So when are you two meeting again? And where?” asked Jessica.

“We didn’t decide. I said I’d get back to him.”

“He’s kinda old don’t you think?” posed Janice.

“Sure. He’s a man not a boy. But I like that. He’s mature. He’ll know how to treat a woman.”

“Yeah, and you sure need to be treated” said Jessica before she and Janice collapsed in howls of laughter.

Cathy grinned along with them, recognizing that their jibes arose, at least partly, from jealousy.

Beth felt like her world had been torn to shreds. The pain was so intense she wanted to curl up and die. That she had to remain there listening to this was torture. She wanted to scream and rage. She wanted to smash everything she could lay her hands on. She wanted to run to her room and never leave. And as she sat there, stricken, listening to the others talk, not once did she ask herself why she was feeling such anger and pain.

For the rest of the day Beth struggled to hide her emotions but her black mood was missed by none of them. When her friends had left, she went to her room, lay face down on her bed and quietly cried. She felt rejected and lonelier than ever before.

Downstairs Carol heard Andrew return from town and quickly brewed him a coffee and took it into the study.

“Thanks, Honey. How was your day?”

“That’s what I need to talk to you about. You may want to grab a bourbon to go with that.”

Andrew’s attention was now fixed on his wife.

“Beth asked if she could go hiking with Dario this weekend. An overnight hike.”

“OK. Well, I guess in a way we might have expected this. Obviously we have to say ‘no’.”

“I’m not sure how easy that’s going to be. We’d be effectively saying we don’t trust either of them. If that’s the case, why are we allowing Dario on the property and why are we allowing them to be alone at night in the barn.”

“But this is different. This is sleeping together alone in a tent in the middle of nowhere.”

“I know but if we were concerned with them getting up to something they could do that just as easily in the barn or out in the woods.”

“But what kind of message are we sending if we agree?”

“I know, you’re right. If we were to agree to it, you’d need to have a conversation with Dario and I’d need to talk to Beth. Dario seems like a really nice person. You could let him know that Beth might have a crush on him and just ‘remind him’ that he shouldn’t do anything to encourage that. To be honest, that’s probably a conversation you need to have anyway.”

“God, what a situation. I wish Beth had come with an instruction manual.”

Carol laughed, “yeah, maybe we can send off for that.”

“OK I’ll talk with Dario tomorrow. That’s going to be awkward. And I don’t envy you having the talk with Beth.”

Carol kissed Andrew on the forehead and then returned to the kitchen to continue preparing dinner. As she chopped the vegetables, she though about the conversation with her husband and realized that Beth was growing up; they were going to have to trust her at some point and that might as well be now.

Her mother’s call to dinner awoke Beth from the dark thoughts into which her mind had waded. The last thing she wanted was company, or worse to see Dario, but not going down would just trigger a whole load of questions she couldn’t bear to face. Looking in the bathroom mirror she could see her eyes were still red. She washed her face with cold water several times until the redness was slightly less obvious and then headed down.

The sullen Beth that joined them for dinner was a surprise for Carol and Andrew. Although it had only been for a few days, they had grown to enjoy the pleasant, engaged girl who had recently sat in the same place. They exchanged mutual questioning looks but refrained from any direct inquiry, both wondering if this had something to do with Dario. Although her parents were at a loss to understand what was happening, Dario had a pretty good idea what might be going through their daughter’s mind. He tried to send her a reassuring smile but she refused to make eye contact.

When dinner was over, Dario started to collect the plates and take them over to the sink. When he did so, Beth pushed back her chair and strode towards the door.

“Beth.”

She stopped to look at him.

“Would you help me with the dishes?”

As angry and hurt as she was, she did want to be with him. Her emotions were a mystery to her but at least for the moment, not shutting him out was something she could accept. Picking up the drying cloth, she moved to his side and began to collect the wet plates he handed her. They worked in silence and when they were finished he turned to her.

“Did you want to talk?”

Beth nodded grimly and followed him out of the house. As they walked to the barn she kept her distance, wanting to continue the message that she was angry with him. When they sat down she wouldn’t look at him, instead carefully studying her hands.

“Is something the matter, Beth?”

“No.”

“You seem upset; are you sure something isn’t bothering you?”

She remained quiet, torn between confronting him over Cathy and not wanting to acknowledge that she cared.

“Is it because I spoke with Cathy?”

“Are you going to go out with her?”

“No.”

Beth finally looked up, surprised. She wondered if he was lying to her.

“You told her you liked her and wanted to see her again.”

Dario sighed, now fully understanding why Beth was upset. He told her about Cathy’s visit and explained what he had said.

“She lied to us. She said you liked her and wanted to see her again.”

“Don’t be hard on her, Beth. Maybe she is a little insecure and wants to impress her friends.”

She felt an overwhelming sense of relief. The black cloud vanished and her hope resurfaced, stronger than ever.

“But Beth, why did it upset you so much?”

She was suddenly confronted by the question she had been avoiding in her own mind. And the answer that came to her was certainly not one that could be shared with Dario.

“I wasn’t that upset but I didn’t know if it meant you wouldn’t want to spend time with me.”

He nodded, unconvinced, but realized that it might be a bad idea to continue down this path.

Beth was suddenly tired. The emotions of the day had drained her but she needed to be sure Dario wasn’t disappointed with her.

“I’m sorry, I might have over-reacted. Can I still help you with the barn tomorrow?”

“Of course, Beth. I’ll see you in the morning.”

Lying in bed, Beth revisited the realization that had come to her earlier. She had been jealous of Cathy because she liked Dario and more than just as a friend. Dario had said that he didn’t ask Cathy out but what if Cathy saw him again? What if he started to like Cathy more than he like her? Or what if Dario met someone else? The relief she had felt earlier was now replaced by new doubts and fears. Dario had said he was her friend but did his feelings go beyond that? Could they? She needed to know: this uncertainty was too painful.

The knock on his door while he was having breakfast the next morning surprised Dario. He opened it to find Mr. Andrew.

“Sorry to bother you, Dario but do you have a minute to talk?”

“Certainly, Mr. Andrew, please come in. Can I get you a coffee?”

“Thanks, no, I’m fine.”

As Andrew stool in the little kitchen, Dario could tell he was uncomfortable and wondered if this would be about Beth.

“Er, Beth mentioned that she wanted to go hiking with you this weekend.”

Dario just nodded encouragingly.

“It’s just.... er.... Carol and I were thinking that.... er.... maybe she has a bit of a crush on you. Do you know that expression?”

“Yes, Mr. Andrew, I understand.”

“So, she’s very young and impressionable but obviously I can rely on you to make sure nothing comes of it.”

“Of course, Mr. Andrew, I understand.”

“Thanks, Dario. I knew you’d understand.”

After Andrew left, Dario was relieved he had not been asked if he had any feelings for Beth. That could have been awkward. But still, even if he did have feelings for her she was much too young for him. He would need to think of her only as a friend.

Not much later a parallel conversation occurred in the main house. Andrew had relayed his talk with Dario to Carol so when she saw her daughter enter the kitchen she went in to join her.

“Honey, your dad and I have been talking about your request to go hiking with Dario.”

Beth looked up, nervous about what her parents would have decided. After yesterday she was even more desperate to be with Dario and to go on this hike with him.

“I really want to go, Mum. Please tell me it’s OK.”

“Honey, is it possible you have a bit of a crush on Dario?”

“I... I mean, I like spending time with him. He’s nice” she replied reddening slightly.

“But, Honey, you know he’s much too old for you?”

“We’re just friends. I like him as a friend.”

“Are you sure? I just don’t want you getting hurt.”

“I’m sure, Mum. It’ll be fine. Honest.”

“OK but keep a check on your emotions. He’s just a friend.”

“So I can go?”

“Yes.”

“Oh Mum. Thank you, thank you” Beth squealed as she hugged her mother for the first time in as long as Carol could remember.

Beth couldn’t wait to tell Dario and ran to the barn with her news. They talked about what they would need to bring for the trip and Dario reminder her that it would be cold in the mountains when the sun went down. That night, after packing her backpack, she tossed and turned in bed, excited and nervous in equal measure and impatient for the next morning when they would leave.

Chapter Text

The alarm was an unwelcome and confusing intruder until Beth remembered why she had set it. Quickly dressing in shorts and a T-shirt, she went downstairs only to find her mother already up and some scrambled eggs on toast waiting for her.

“Thanks, Mum, but you didn’t have to get up so early.”

“I was up anyway. Do you want some juice?”

Beth quickly finished the breakfast and then brought down her backpack and put on her hiking boots at the door.

“Do you have extra warm clothes and more wool socks?”

“Yes, Mum. All packed.”

“You should put on a light jacket, it’s cool out there at the moment.”

While Beth complied, Carol suddenly remember the food and ran back to the kitchen to collect the small bags.

“OK have fun and don’t forget what we talked about.”

The two of them walked over towards the barn where Dario was already loading his gear into the old pickup truck they would take to the trail head. He helped Beth put her backpack in the deck and then climbed into the driver’s seat.

“I will take good care of Beth, Mrs. Carol and we will see you tomorrow.”

“Thanks, Dario. Have fun” called Carol as she gave her daughter a quick hug.

The sun was barely above the horizon but already the day promised to be beautiful. The sky was a dark blue canvas with only a few high clouds. As she took in the day, Beth suddenly felt self-conscious. She was alone with Dario driving away from her home and would spend the next two days with him. And as they continued in silence, her confidence also started to ebb. What if he found her boring or decided he preferred it when he was hiking by himself? He would probably be much quicker than her; what if he got annoyed that she was too slow? What if he decided she talked too much, or too little? She cast a glance over to him to try to gauge what he was thinking.

“Thanks for taking me on this hike.”

“You’re welcome, Beth. I’m looking forward to it. It’ll be fun.”

The unmistakable pleasure in his gentle voice reassured her and calmed the demons in her head. She had been on hikes with her parents but not as far as the high alpine valley they would climb to today. They talked about their destination and how long it would take to get there. Dario’s love of the mountains and his excitement to share them with Beth was obvious.

The trail head was little more than a clearing by the side of the road and they were pleased to see it was empty of other cars: They might have the whole valley to themselves. Dario helped Beth put on her backpack and they started up the narrow, rough trail that took off into the trees. The terrain rose only gently at first and in the cool shade of the trees the temperature was perfect. Beth noticed that Dario let her go first, adjusting his pace to hers. As they walked, Beth relaxed, just enjoying the moment and taking in the sounds and scents of the woods. It would take them most of the day to reach Diamond Lake where they would camp for the night and so Beth was careful to set a pace she could maintain. After an hour or so the trail became steeper and followed long switchbacks as it climbed. They were still surrounded by trees but those trees were shorter now and slightly further apart. They took regular breaks to drink water and rest and as the sun rose and it became hotter Beth shed her windbreaker and put on a broad sunhat. On this steeper grade, her backpack seemed somehow heavier and her breathing deeper as she tried to maintain a steady pace. Rest breaks were also becoming increasingly welcome although she would always wait for Dario to suggest they stop.

As he followed behind her, Dario was impressed by how well Beth was doing. She was small and her backpack seemed to tower over her, but she was maintaining a strong pace. He also couldn’t help noticing how lovely her legs were. Her wool socks were rolled down to the tops of her boots and her tanned calves and thighs were slim but beautifully defined. He had to remind himself more than once to stop looking at them. They were making good progress and would be out of the treeline soon and he planned to wait until then to stop for lunch.

Beth had noticed that the trees were becoming increasingly stunted and spaced out the higher they climbed and then suddenly when she looked to her side she could see the whole of the lowlands spread out below.

“Oh my god, that’s so beautiful!”

“It is pretty impressive” grinned Dario.

“I can barely see the road down there. We’ve come up a long way.”

“Yes. You’re doing really well. How do you feel?”

“I’m tired but I’m OK. Are we nearly there?”

“We still have some climbing to do. Maybe another two hours but we should stop for lunch now. Why don’t we continue to those flat rocks up ahead.”

Beth was relieved to shed her backpack and felt light as a feather walking around without it. She pulled out the sandwiches her mother had made and offered one to Dario.

“Thanks that looks lovely but if I have one of yours you should have one of mine.”

They sat down side by side on the warm rock, their knees tucked up, and gazed at the landscape below as they ate. Far off in the distant rolling hills Dario pointed out where the farm was located. The sun was strong but it wasn’t as hot as Beth expected. The slope above them obscured the view higher up but Dario told her they would see the mountains when they crested the ridge top. Beth would have happily lain back on the rock and taken a nap but she was also excited to reach their destination. When they had finished eating, she shouldered her backpack on and they continued up the trail.

It was steeper now and the going much slower. At times Beth needed to use her hands to steady herself or to pull up on rocks or tree roots. Her focus was only the narrow gully they climbed and the next step she needed to take. In places the rocks were covered in lichen or moss testifying to the few hikers that came this way. Time seemed to stand still broken only by short rests to drink from their rapidly depleting water bottles and to catch their breaths. Any conversation was unthinkable but whenever she looked towards Dario he gave her an encouraging smile.

If Dario had been impressed by Beth on the lower trail, he was doubly impressed by her now. Not only was she continuing to climb steadily and at a good pace but not once had she complained. Even when she slipped on a steep section and grazed her knee or was pestered by deer flies, she didn’t gripe or whine.

Just when Beth thought the gully would never end, she climbed a final steep section and emerged to see a glorious alpine valley opening up before her. Surrounding it on three sides were huge mountain peaks with snow patches still visible on their upper rocky slopes. The valley itself was myriad shades of green and brown and in its shelter trees and shrubs abounded. Where the mountains rose up on each side, the vegetation was replaced by scree slopes or rocky faces. Off to one side she could see a fast-flowing stream but the lake that fed it was still hidden further up the valley.

“Wow, this was so worth it. It’s amazing. I can see why you love it up here.”

“I know, isn’t it incredible. I’m glad you like it.”

“Oh, I do, I do. Thank you again for bringing me.”

They walked over to the stream, refilled their water bottles and after taking a long drink splashed some of the cold water over their faces. Refreshed and exhilarated now they had finally reached the valley, they continued on paralleling the stream as it climbed gently upwards. After cresting another small rise they could finally see the lake appearing between the trees. Beth was shocked by its vivid turquoise colour and as they got closer she could see how incredibly clear it was. So clear she could see small fish darting far below the surface. Close to the edge of the lake were clear patches of sandier ground and Dario selected one of these for their camp. They dropped their backpacks and while Dario was setting up his tent, Beth wandered off to explore more of the lake. To her delight she found a little cove not far away where the lake bed dropped down sharply right beside a rocky platform. She ran back to Dario to tell him.

“Is it OK if I go for a swim?” she panted.

“Of course. The water is a little cool though.”

“No biggie!” she called, grabbing a towel from her backpack and running off.

Dario continued his search for rocks to build a small fire pit and was just finishing his work when he heard a muffled scream from the direction Beth had taken. Instantly he was racing through the trees towards the sound. Now he could hear splashing coming from not far ahead.

“Are you alright, Beth!”

“Yes. Sorry, it was just very cold. I’m OK. Don’t come here!”

Dario stopped. Through the trees he could see her head and shoulders just above the surface and realized she was naked.

“Sorry, I just wanted to make sure you were alright. I’ll see you back at the camp.”

Beth would have blushed had she not been so cold. After the hike she had wanted to clean off and a swim in the lake was the only available option. Now that Dario had left, she gratefully emerged from the water and dried off with the small towel she had brought. She had wrapped fresh underwear in the towel and put it on.

Walking back to the camp, Dario was deep in thought. He had seen Beth many time around the pool but the sight of her here, her head and slim shoulders dimpled with water droplets, had left him in shock. It was like he was seeing her for the first time. She was just so lovely, so beautiful. He tried to mentally erase her father’s suggestion that she might have a crush on him and groaned at the thought they would sleep together in the tent tonight.

Dario had finished setting up their campsite when Beth returned and as they still had plenty of daylight they decided to explore further up the valley. Without their backpacks following the barely discernible path was easy and Beth was delighted to be venturing further into unexplored territory.

“What do you want to do tomorrow?” she asked.

Dario smiled, a little conspiratorially.

“Do you want to climb that?” he asked pointing to a majestic peak on the north side of the valley.

“Could we?”

“I think so. It’s mostly just a scramble with some easy climbing near the top.”

“Sure. Sounds like an adventure. What’s it called?”

“Dead Man’s Folly.”

“Really?”

“No. I’m just kidding. It’s called Dalton’s Peak.”

She laughed and punched him playfully on the arm and as she turned away she gently bit her lower lip.

Watching Dario prepare dinner as she sat beside the fire, Beth didn’t think she’d ever been this hungry. She was toasting bread on the fire stones while he was boiling pasta in a pot perched over a tiny cooking stove. Beside the fire was another smaller pot that contained the marinara sauce to be added when the pasta was done. At intervals she would rotate the pot to ensure it warmed evenly. The sun had gone behind the surrounding peaks and already the temperature was starting to fall. When Dario had drained the pasta and brought it back to her, she mixed in the sauce and then served it onto two plates, resisting the urge to start spooning it directly into her mouth.

“Oh my god this is good” she offered between spoonfuls.

Dario buttered the warm toast and offered her a piece, the butter already dripping over the sides.

“You’re a culinary genius. What do you call this incredible delicacy?” Beth asked nodding towards the bread in her hand.

“Pain au beurre de montagne.”

She laughed along with him as they made plans to start a franchise selling only this item.

When they had finished eating they cleaned the pots and plates at the lake edge and then sat by the fire talking. The darkness and cold seemed to come on suddenly and Beth pulled her down jacket out of the tent and put it on. She loved the heat of the fire on her face and the unpredictable crackles and pops it gave off. When Dario added new branches to keep it going she would study his face in the dancing light. Being with him like this was incredible but not knowing if he shared her feelings was torture. She tried to find the courage to ask him. At each lull in the conversation she steeled herself to speak but each time her nerve failed her. She hated her cowardice and resolved to be stronger next time but she just couldn’t do it. The pain of discovering he wasn’t interested in her would be too unbearable. Eaten up by frustration she finally gave up.

“I.... I should turn in I think.”

“Of course, Beth. It’s been a long day.”

She brushed her teeth by the lake and then entered the tent. Dario got up from the fire and walked off into the woods to give her a little more privacy. When he came back he banked down the fire and took their remaining food and lodged it in a tree some distance away. The moon was up now casting eerie shadows.

“Can I come in?”

“Sure.”

Taking off his boots by the entrance, he unzipped the flap and carefully climbed in. The tent was small, just room for the two sleeping bags side by side, and he carefully clambered over his bag until he could turn around, climb in and close the zipper. He lay down facing her, her face illuminated by the moonlight.

Beth looked into his eyes, only inched away. She didn’t have the courage to speak but could she still ask? Her sleeping bag was not fully closed: She reached a hand out to touch his shoulder and then brought her lips to his.

Beth’s feelings and her insecurity were laid bare for him. The warmth and the tremor in her lips could not have said more. And her touch ignited the longing he had so fiercely tried to deny. He reached for her and pulled her closer, her small lips parting slightly to accept his. The feel of those lips was soft and sweet as he tenderly brushed against them barely making contact. He could feel her quieten as her nervousness eased and understood how unsure she had been of his acceptance.

Beth had been so scared when she reached for him. His rejection would have been devastating. And the fear and humiliation she had suffered during her date with Todd added to her uncertainty. When he pulled her to him and returned her kiss she wanted to cry with joy and relief. His firm lips felt so good, so incredibly good. Slowly she relaxed, just enjoying this moment. And then suddenly he released her and pulled away.

“Beth, we shouldn’t be doing this.”

She didn’t know what to think. Her emotions were careering wildly from fear to relief and now back to fear.

“Don’t.... don’t you like me?” she stuttered, confused.

“No, no I like you. More than I should.”

“Don’t you like me.... kissing you?”

“No, I like it but it’s wrong. I’m too old for you.”

“But I’m in my teens and you’re in your twenties. That’s OK.”

“Beth, I’m more than twice your age.”

“But I don’t care. It doesn’t matter to me.”

“But it matters to your parents. It will matter to other people.”

“They’ll understand Dario. I’m sure they will. Please.”

The look of pleading in her eyes tore at his heart. Was it so wrong? He would never hurt her, he knew that, but how could this work. He looked again at her eyes and could not deny her plea. He pulled her close and held her tight, her face nestled beside his neck.

His words gave her hope; he liked her. She knew he was right, her mother had said as much, but she couldn’t ignore her feelings. And she knew Dario far better than her mother did. Nestled in his arms she was wanted and safe. She didn’t care what other people thought. She lifted her head off his neck and rising slightly on her elbow she found his mouth again.

“Oh, Beth.....” he murmured.

He knew he shouldn’t do this but his heart wouldn’t listen; and here in the mountains they were the only two people in the world. He cupped her head in his hand and stroked her cheek with his thumb as he breathed her in. The innocence of her chaste kiss left no doubt that this was her first experience. Whatever had happened with Todd it was not this. Feeling her small mouth on his, Dario was transported back to his youth, returning with delight to that innocent time when a kiss was everything, when nothing more was promised or expected. A time when kissing a sweet, young girl was a slow unfolding of wondrous discovery. His lips slowly melded with hers, brushing them, playfully tugging at them and then gently pushing into her softness in an endless dance of childlike joy.

In her wildest dreams Beth had never imagined that kissing him could have felt like this. She was excited but at the same time utterly, utterly serene. And the feel of his lips, his mouth, was just so wonderful. Lying beside him, his arm on the back of her sleeping bag holding her tight, was the most magical experience of her life. And with the memory of Todd’s assault still haunting her she loved that Dario’s kisses were so tender and patient, asking nothing from her that she wasn’t happy to give. She breathed in the scent of him, the subtle mix of sweat, and musk and smoke. He smelled like a man and she was conscious of his muscular body lying beside her, towering over her. A shiver went through her at the thought, not one of fear but of some strange excitement. All of her senses seemed to be amplified. Every brush of his lips against hers, every delicious tug, every minute change as he tenderly kissed her producing an explosion of pleasure and happiness. His hand on her back, just holding her, a constant source of tingling delight. She didn’t know if they had been kissing for a minute or an hour but she never wanted it to end. This was where she always wanted to be; in his arms.

Holding her small body against his and feeling her lips as she tentatively responded to his kisses, Dario realized how protective he felt for her. She was so young and innocent, so vulnerable. He wondered again what had happened that night to have left her in tears. Had the guy tried to go too far? If so, telling him of her feelings and reaching out to him in this isolated place would have needed considerable courage and trust. It was hard to see any future for them but somehow this tender embrace and their gentle kisses seemed so natural. As much as he just wanted to staying lying here with her he knew she must be tired and would need her energy for tomorrow.

“It’s really nice kissing you Beth, but we should get some sleep if we’re going to climb Dead Man’s Folly tomorrow.”

Beth laughed and nodded. She gave him one more quick kiss and then pulled back.

“Would you hold me while we sleep?”

Dario draped his arm over her sleeping bag and like this they slept until the sun woke them the next morning.

Beth felt shy and nervous as they ate breakfast. She was glad she had told Dario that she liked him but the memory of their kissing made her self-conscious. She wondered whether, in the light of day, he regretted what they had done or was having second thoughts. She hoped not. For her it had been magical and waking up beside him, with his arm still holding her, had been so lovely. She hoped he would say something about last night to reassure her but that hope went unfulfilled.

Loading water, snacks and a few emergency items into a small day pack he had brought, Dario resolved to set aside his thoughts about last night and focus only on the climb ahead. There would be plenty of time to worry about the future once they were safely back at their campsite. He had studied the route they would take and wanted to leave extra time in case their progress was slower than he expected. With an encouraging smile to Beth, he started out leading them back up the faint trail they had followed yesterday. They continued up to where they had stopped previously and then Dario headed right towards the looming mass of Dalton’s Peak. For a while they traversed around bushes and boulders until they reached a scree slope and started to head up. Their pace was slower now on the steep, loose rocks but they continued to climb steadily. After an hour or so, they reached a rocky gully that rose between Dalton’s Peak and the adjacent mountain.

Beth looked down and was shocked by how far up they were. In front of her the gully was even steeper than the slope they had just climbed. She was pleased that Dario had confidence in her to be able to do this but was nonetheless nervous. She continued to follow him up the gully, constantly stepping right and left gaining more and more height. Finally they reached the top and Beth could see that they were perched in a narrow notch that dropped off steeply on either side. Dario was looking at the rock face to their right and turned to her with a smile.

“Do you think you will be alright going up this?”

Beth hadn’t even considered this possibility and initially blanched at the idea. She studied the face more carefully and saw that there were small ledges and steps that seemed to lead up.

“Do you think we could?”

“Yes. It’s not too bad and we are only about 100 metres from the top.”

She so wanted to impress him but would she really be able to do this?

“Sure.”

The confidence she managed to inject into that word was not however a true reflection of her feelings.

“Just go slowly and make sure you always have good footholds and handholds. If you need any help let me know.”

When he started up she followed behind wanting to stay as close as possible. As they climbed she carefully avoided looking back down and instead focused intently on finding the next hold. Ahead of her she could see how effortlessly Dario moved over the rock and that he was constantly looking back to make sure she was alright.

“You’re doing great, Beth. We’re nearly there.”

She was relieved to hear this but didn’t trust herself to look much further than the next handhold. As she continued to climb, the angle gradually eased until suddenly there was nothing rising in front of her. She stood up and looking around realized they had reached the top. Delight and relief flooded over her as she took in the spectacular view. In front of them were the lowlands with their features even tinier from this height. Back across the valley were other peaks, now seen from a companion height with further mountain tops visible behind them. And down below, shockingly far below, was the valley and lake. They could just make out their campsite at the water’s edge.

“Wow, this is so worth it. I can see forever.”

Dario had brought a few snacks and they ate these now sitting side by side with their backs against the rock. They just sat there quietly enjoying the view and the sun’s warmth. Beth was excited by her accomplishment: She would never have thought herself capable of doing something like this. She wanted to sit and enjoy this feeling but Dario was already rising and packing the remaining snacks and water in his pack.

“We shouldn’t stay too long, Beth. We still have the climb back down and then hike back to the truck.”

She followed him back to where they had come up and was shocked by the sight below. This looked much more frightening when you were looking down.

“OK, now we have to be especially careful, Beth. We will down-climb facing up the mountain. I will be right below you.”

Dario turned to face the rock and began slowly climbing back down. She followed him and immediately realized this was much harder than coming up. The footholds were harder to see and her movements felt less natural. The fear returned, stronger than before, but Dario was right below her waiting at ever step. Gradually she got into the rhythm and slowly they descended. When they were back down to the notch above the gully, Beth let out a huge sigh of relief. The worst was over.

Descending the gully seemed much less daunting after coming down from the peak and it was not long before they were back at their campsite. When Dario took off his day pack, Beth went over and hugged him tightly, her face pressed against his chest.

“Thank you for taking me on the climb. I didn’t think I could do that.”

“You did amazing, Beth. I’m impressed.”

His praise made her blush. She wanted to make him proud of her. She reached up her hands, pulled him down and kissed him. The feel of his cool lips excited her and she lingered not wanting to end this magical moment. Finally she released him and just looked into his eyes wanting him to know how much he meant to her.

She was reluctant to leave their camp, it had been such a wonderful experience, and in so many ways, but she was also excited to tell her parents about their trip. Albeit not everything about the trip. Hiking down she thought about their night together and how beautiful it had been after the horror of her first date. She only wished that Dario’s lips had been the first she had kissed.

Carol and Andrew quickly emerged from the main house when the pickup truck pulled into the gravel courtyard. When Beth jumped out, ran over and gave each of them a hug they were struck again by how she seemed to be returning to the daughter they had missed so dearly.

“It was amazing, so beautiful. And we climbed a mountain – to the top!”

Carol laughed, delighted by her daughter’s obvious happiness even if she was slightly nervous about the idea of her climbing a mountain.

“That’s great, Honey. You must be exhausted.”

“Beth did really well” added Dario. “You must have done quite a bit of hiking as a family.”

“Yes but not for a while. Thank you for taking her.”

“My pleasure. But I had better go and take a shower.”

“We’ll see you for dinner” called Carol as he carried his backpack to the barn.

Once in the house, Beth couldn’t wait to show her parents the pictures she had taken.

“Those are beautiful, Honey. Is this one from the top of the mountain?”

“Yes. It was just incredible up there.”

“Was it safe? I hope you didn’t take any risks.”

“No it was fine, Mum. Dario showed me what to do. It was easy. I should go and clean up before dinner.”

As much as she was enjoying the cascading hot water, showering was a painful reminder of her physical deficiencies. Dario had said he liked her but how could she expect him to be her boyfriend when she so clearly lacked any womanly attributes. She closed her eyes and touched her nipples imagining it was Dario’s hands. The electric thrill was shocking. She tingled all over and her nipples hardened instantly. And she felt a need, a desire, she had never experienced before. But how could she expect him to want to touch her. There was nothing there to interest him. Beth wanted to scream in frustration. If only she could will her body to start developing like all her friends.

That night at dinner Beth talked more about their trip and the mountain they had climbed. Her enjoyment of the experience and enthusiasm for adventure was obvious. Dario added comments once in a while but he let her tell the story. While Andrew and Carol still harboured some reservations, their daughter’s happiness was paramount to them. And not for the first time they were grateful to see the change in her attitude. The sullen, hostile girl they had come to dread seemed to have vanished.

When dinner was over Beth got up to help Dario clear the table and wash up.

“It’s OK, Honey. You must be tired. I can help Dario tonight.”

“I’m fine, Mum. I’ll just do this and then go up.”

When they had finished washing and drying and her mother was out of the kitchen, Beth blew Dario a kiss and tilted her head to the side to tell him she was sleepy.

Up in her room Beth wondered if she should send pictures from the hike to her friends but decided against it. They might realize she was interested in Dario and she wasn’t sure that would be a good thing. Certainly Cathy would be upset with her. She was just about to go into her bathroom when there was a knock on the door.

“Come in.”

“I just wanted to check in. How was everything on the hike?”

“It was good, Mum. Nothing to worry about.”

“Was it awkward at all? You know, considering maybe you have a little bit of a crush on him?”

“I just think he’s really nice, really sweet. It wasn’t awkward. He so cool and calm, it never felt weird or anything. It was just fun, really fun.”

“Ok, just don’t let your feelings get ahead of you. I just don’t want you to get hurt, Honey.”

“I know, Mum. I won’t.”

Lying in bed Beth felt a little guilty about the conversation with her mum. She hadn’t lied to her, she did think Dario was sweet and it hadn’t been awkward, but she also hadn’t been completely honest. She rationalized however that she didn’t know where things were going and even what Dario’s feelings were for her. He hadn’t said anything. She turned onto her side and tried to remember what it had felt like when his arm had held her safe.

In an unsurprising parallel, Dario was also feeling not a little guilty as he lay in bed. He told himself that he shouldn’t have kissed her but he couldn’t make that true. It had felt so natural.

Chapter Text

The text dropped in the middle of the afternoon and glancing at her phone Beth saw it was from Janice. She had been helping Dario lay new floor boards on the upper level and decided to read it later. At the end of the day as she was walking back to the main house, she opened her phone.

Good news. Your Italian problem will soon be gone.

Beth stood still, alarmed by the message, and quickly texted back.

What do you mean?

She waited in the courtyard and Janice’s response didn’t take long.

Going to have him thrown in jail or out of the country.

Her alarm turned to panic and confusion.

Calling you now.

Janice picked up immediately, obviously expecting this conversation.

“What do you mean, Jan? What are you talking about?”

“We’re going to tell the police that Dario is a child molester. You’ll soon be rid of him.”

Beth’s heart started to race in panic and she suddenly found it hard to breathe. But how could anyone possibly know that she had gone hiking with Dario and that they’d kissed? And anyway it was only a kiss.

“W-what do you mean ‘a child molester’?”

“He abused Cath when he was supposedly helping her. He was fondling her bare breasts. It was disgusting. Vile. He’s a total pervert.”

Beth’s bewilderment could not have been greater. What was Janice talking about?

“But he didn’t Jan. I was there. He didn’t do anything. He helped her.”

“Jess and me will swear that’s what he did. You can thank me for getting him out of your life.”

Despite the heat Beth felt cold and clammy. She couldn’t process what Janice was saying. She needed time to think.

“I gotta go. I’ll call you back later.”

She tried to concentrate, to calm down. The thought of losing Dario, having him taken away and put in jail was terrifying. She needed to think. She could just tell Janice she’d changed her mind and didn’t want Dario sent away but would Janice listen to her? Was there something else going on here? Was Janice aware that she liked Dario and was trying to hurt her? She needed to call Cathy. Cathy liked Dario; there was no way she would go along with this lie.

Hey, Cath. Can I call you?

Can’t you text?

No bit complicated.

K

“Hey, Cath. I just talked to Jan and she wants to tell the police that Dario molested you.”

“I know. She told me what he did.”

“But you know he didn’t touch you.”

“Hey, I was out of it. The only thing I remember is that glass and the pain. He could’ve done anything to me. I wouldn’t have known.”

“But I was right there with you. He never touched you.”

“Yeh, so says you. You just want him for yourself. You made me look like a fool.”

“What are you talking about?”

“You think I’m an idiot? You think I don’t know you and him spent the weekend together in a tent in the mountains?”

“What! Who told you?”

“Your mum told Jan’s mum. You’re such a bitch. You knew I liked him and he liked me but you don’t give a fuck. You just want him for yourself.”

Beth was numb with shock. She had been so happy just moments before and now everything had gone so terribly, terribly wrong.

“Cath I’m sorry. I’m really sorry. I do like him as well. I should have told you. I’m sorry. But please, don’t hurt him just because of something I’ve done. Please.”

“Maybe you should have thought of that before you were such a bitch. Anyway it’s not me that’s gonna be telling the police, it’s Jan and Jess.”

“But Cath, if you tell them it didn’t happen they’ll believe you.”

“Like I said, I was out of it. It’s your word against theirs. And I don’t imagine the police will believe you when they find out you’ve been making out with him.”

Beth was about to beg Cathy to help her when she realized the line was dead: Cathy had hung up. Trembling and afraid that someone would see her, she quickly went into the house, ran up to her room and locked the door. Throwing herself onto the bed face down she let the tears pore out, trying to suppress her sobs as she clutched the duvet in fear and frustration. The though of losing Dario was crushing but even worse was the guilt. This was all because of her. This was only happening because she’d been so horrible to him in front of her friends. She’d given them the idea to do this. If Dario was arrested or sent back to Italy she could never forgive herself; she needed to fix this. She had to persuade Janice, to beg her, not to tell the police. She picked up her phone and dialed.

“Hi Jan, look I’m sorry, I should have said something to you. I was wrong about Dario; he’s actually a really nice guy. I don’t want him to get in any trouble. We’re all friends, can we just forget about this police thing?”

“Oh now we’re friends. Is that what a ‘friend’ would do to Cath? Not to mention you’ve basically been ghosting us for the last couple of weeks.”

“I know, I’m sorry. I should have said something to Cath. That was wrong. And I’m sorry I’ve been out of touch. It’s just, I’ve been helping Dario with the barn renovations. I’ve just been kinda busy. But I’ll do better, I promise.”

“Yeh, so now you want something you’re all friendly but that doesn’t change what you did to Cath or that you were a total bitch to Todd. You need a lesson in consequences. Maybe then you won’t treat people like shit.”

“Jan you don’t know what happened with Todd. It wasn’t me, I promise you.”

“Oh you think I’m gonna believe you over my own brother? After you lied to us all about Dario? He told me what happened, that you were a total cow after he’d been so sweet with you.”

“Jan, I swear that’s not true. It wasn’t like that. I swear it.”

“Yeah, right. Look. You need to apologies to Todd. Once you’ve done that then maybe we’ll talk.”

After she rang off Beth let out a sigh of relief. The idea of saying ‘sorry’ to that pig Todd made her sick but if doing so would get Janice to let up on her threat it would be worth it. She wasn’t going to feel any better by delaying and so sat down to write the text.

Hey, Todd. I wanted to say sorry about our date. I may have over-reacted. Anyway hope your summer is good.

She was tempted to just let Janice know she had apologized but decided to wait for Todd’s response just in case. This turned out to be a wise decision. About fifteen minutes later his reply appeared.

If you really meant it you’d tell me to my face not send some lame text.

Beth gritted her teeth in frustration. Having to see his stupid smirk while she apologized would be infuriating.

OK where do you want me to meet you?

I’m out at the training facility on Ridgemont tomorrow. Be there at 2:30.

She threw the phone onto the bed and wanted to scream; having his stupid football buddies around would make it even more galling. She tried to understand how she had ever been attracted to him and cringed at the memory of her infatuation during their dinner.

As she showered and got ready for dinner the fear that had been triggered by her conversation with Janice lingered.

Dario sensed that something was bothering Beth. All through the meal she had been quiet and had kept avoiding his eyes. He couldn’t understand what had happened. She had been her usual happy, bubbly self while they were working on the barn and it didn’t seem likely it was an issue with her parents. Neither of them seemed any different. When she had joined him in the morning, she told him that when her mother asked about the hike she had not told her they had kissed. This deception only added to the guilt he was feeling but he also felt that telling her parents would only complicate an already difficult situation. He wondered if something had happened after she finished work. But what? When she came back to the barn tonight he would ask her.

All through dinner Beth’s anxiety grew. What if Todd wouldn’t accept her apology? If Janice and Jessica went to the police, Dario could be thrown in prison. And if he was charged and found guilty the sentence could be years. And it would all be her fault. It was just so unfair.

Helping Dario clean up after the meal, Beth desperately wanted to return to the barn with him, to have him hold her, but she was drowning in a sea of guilt and fear. She dreaded him finding out what the other girls planned to do. She couldn’t tell him; he would never speak to her again.

“’Night, Mum. ‘Night Dario, I’ll see you in the morning.”

Carol and Dario were both surprised to see Beth go up to her room, each wondering why. For Dario it was confirmation that something was bothering her, but something she obviously didn’t want to discuss with him. Perhaps she had realized that their relationship, whatever it was, didn’t have a future. If so, it was probably for the best although he had to admit it would be hard getting her out of his heart.

Walking towards the barn the next morning, Beth tried to put a smile on her face despite what she felt inside. Her fears about what Janice would do were constantly on her mind and she had barely slept last night. When she entered she could hear Dario working on the upper level and went to join him.

“Hi Dario.”

“Hi Beth, how are you doing? Is everything all right?”

She had dreaded this inevitable question. She hated to lie to Dario but she had no choice. She couldn’t tell him about Janice’s threat.

“I’m fine. I’ve just been a bit tired but I’m OK now. What do we have to do today?”

Dario could tell that something wasn’t right. He could see the worry in her eyes. But whatever it was, she didn’t want to discuss it with him. He smiled and nodded and they started talking about the work.

During their lunch break, Beth told Dario she had to run some errands in the afternoon and after they’d eaten she headed back to the main house. It would take her over an hour to cycle to the training facility so she loaded a couple of water bottles and some snacks into a small backpack and then walked her bike to the road and set off. She allowed the physical exercise to deaden the disgust she felt at having to do this.

Turning into the parking lot at the sports facility, she was surprised to see only a couple of cars and no one out on the fields. Taking her helmet off, she worried for a moment that she had the day or the time wrong. As she was about to head towards the administration building, she heard a door open in one of the side buildings and saw Todd beckoning her over.

“Hi Todd. Did the practice end early?”

“No I’m just out here by myself doing some weight training. So you want to apologize, is that right?”

Beth cringed at having to say the words out loud but she had no other option.

“Yes, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to give you the wrong idea on our date, to lead you on in any way. I’m sorry I must have given you the wrong impression. I’m just kinda new at dating.”

“Oh, you led me on alright. I show you a good time. I buy you an expensive dinner and then when you get me all fired up you act like a total bitch.”

Todd’s anger was adding to Beth’s unease but she continued trying to placate him.

“I understand Todd. Again I’m really sorry. I didn’t do it on purpose.”

“Listen, the way I see it you’re just a cock-teasing little bitch that still owes me a blow job.”

“What! You’re kidding right? You can’t be serious.”

“I’m dead serious. Either you suck me off or Jan goes to the police. Your choice.”

“Todd, please, don’t be like this. I’ve said I’m sorry.”

“I’m not fucking around. Either you put out or that dago gets thrown in jail. He could do ten years, easy.”

Beth had been racked by anxiety since Janice’s text and her lack of sleep had left her exhausted. She didn’t want to believe this was happening but the reality was staring her in the face. Was this something Todd and Janice had cooked up between them? Was this his way of getting back at her? Whatever the reason, she knew Janice would do anything her brother asked. She would definitely go to the police if he told her to. She silently screamed in frustration at her own stupidity. If she hadn’t been so nasty to Dario at the beginning this would never have happened. It was all her fault and she would have to be the one to fix it.

“Listen Todd. This isn’t right. You know it’s not right. But look, I’ll give you a hand job and then we’re quits. OK?”

“Fuck you, cunt. Get the fuck out of here!”

Never in her worst nightmares could Beth have imagined anything as appalling, as sick, as this. Frantically she tried to think of a way out but exhausted she just couldn’t focus, she couldn’t think.

“Todd, please. Don’t be like this, please.”

“I’ll say it one last time, put out or fuck off.”

Beth felt totally defeated. In a barely audible whisper she said “OK”.

Todd walked back to the door he had appeared from and held it open for Beth. When she entered she saw it was a large changing room with rows of benches and lockers along the sides and down the middle and what she assumed were showers leading off to one side. It smelled faintly of bleach and soap and a tang of stale sweat.

“OK take off the shirt.”

Broken, she did as he instructed, dropping her backpack on the floor and then pulling the T-shirt over her head and dropping it onto a bench.

“Now the bra.”

She reached her hands behind her back, undid the clasp, lifted the bra off her arms and placed it on top of her T-shirt.

He took a moment to look at her small body. Her areola were dark against the pale skin covered by her bikini top. Around the outer edge of each were tiny bumps and the small nipples pushed slightly out from the surrounding skin. He reached out and rubbed his thumb over a nipple. When it didn’t respond, he squeezed the entire areola between his thumb and forefinger and pulled on it.

“Stop, please. It hurts” she whispered.

He gave it a last tug and then let go.

“Get down on your knees.”

When she did so, he unbuckled the belt around his jeans, pulled down the zipper and then reached down to pull out his partly engorged cock. Released from confinement it quickly extended towards her face.

Her first reaction was to the smell, stale and sweaty. The thought of putting his member in her mouth sickened her but she was afraid and feared that refusing now would trigger a violent rage. Reaching up a shaking hand, she grasped his shaft and opened her mouth. She had no real idea what to do. Leaning forward, she wrapped her lips around his glans, forcing herself not to recoil from the smell. The surface was moist but not wet enough to slide easily over her lips and so she withdrew for a moment and using her tongue moistened her lips and the underside of his helmet. The taste of his flesh was disgusting but Beth forced herself to push forward and take him into her mouth.

The sight of her on her knees, her pretty face looking up at him as she reluctantly opened her mouth to accept his cock was breathtaking. He couldn’t remember when he had had an erection as hard as this. He wanted to savour every second of her humiliation. And when she licked his shaft and surrounded it with her lips he had to suppress an almost overpowering urge to drive into her. He would have time for that later. He loved that her small mouth made his cock look bigger and just luxuriated in the sensation of her sucking him in. That he had the power to make her do this excited him and he smiled at what was to come.

Beth just wanted this to be over. He wasn’t doing or saying anything so she had no idea if she was stimulating him or not. She continued to move up and down his shaft trying to take more of him into her straining mouth. She tried squeezing her lips tighter around his shaft but already they were starting to hurt. Reaching her hands out she placed them on his hips to help her balance and to push forward harder. She had no idea how long this would take and it was all she could do to not start crying.

Todd wanted to moan in delight at the pleasure she was giving him. Her fear was clearly driving her to do whatever was needed to satisfy his demands. Despite how hard she was trying to please him, he wanted to keep humiliating her.

“God you’re fucking useless you little bitch. Take it down.”

Tears of frustration and pain sprang to her eyes. She released his shaft and sank back onto her heels.

“I’m trying, Todd. I’m really trying. What do you want me to do?” she pleaded.

“Take all of me in you stupid cow.”

“But I can’t, it too long.”

“Take it down your fucking throat!”

Beth stared up at him in shock. Is that what girls were supposed to do when they gave head? She felt defeated; she just couldn’t imagine being able to do that.

“I’ll try but I don’t know if I can do that.”

“You fucking better.”

Nervously she rose back up, took him into her mouth and with her hands on his hips again, resumed pushing herself onto his shaft. Now with each plunge she used her arms to force more of him into her mouth. But when his helmet hit the back of her throat she would gag and it was all she could do not to retch. Again and again she tried, desperate to overcome the reflex. Saliva dripped down her chin and her lips were screaming in pain as she tried to keep pressure on his shaft.

Todd never imagined it could be this good. Despite doing nothing himself, she was bring him closer and closer to release. The combination of humiliation and intense pleasure was intoxicating. As much as he wanted to continue to drag this out, his body was demanding satisfaction. He started to thrust, initially just adding to her plunges down his cock. With this added stimulation his arousal skyrocketed.

Her lips were burning with pain and her arms were screaming in protest as she tried to pull herself harder and harder onto his shaft. When he started thrusting she prayed this meant he was close to cumming. But as the minutes ticked by her despair rose as the intensity of his thrusts increased. She now no longer needed to pull herself onto him, instead just holding onto his hips as he drove into her mouth. She sensed his excitement but as that grew the violence of his thrusts increased. He was constantly hitting the back of her throat and she assumed he was trying to push down it. She tried desperately to control her gag reflex fearing his anger if she retched

The intensity of his lust was stoked by his desire to hurt this pretty, young girl, to punish her for daring to resist his demands on their date. Slamming his cock into her mouth was intensely satisfying but as her arms weakened she could no longer prevent his thrusts from pushing her back. Placing his hands on her shining auburn hair, he held her head tightly as he forced his cock harder and harder into her mouth.

“You better swallow every drop of my cum, bitch, or we’ll need to do this again.”

His member was battering her mouth and her lips felt swollen and raw. Beth felt utterly debased; her only solace being the thought that this hell was almost over.

On the edge of release he slammed his cock into her as hard as he could and then, grunting in effort, he held her head in place as he came.

As her mouth filled with hot, salty cum she swallowed and then swallowed again, willing herself not to vomit. There was so much of the thick semen and his member occupied so much of her mouth that some entered her nostrils and poured out over her lips. She could feel his body tense and still and hear him panting as he savoured his pleasure. He seemed in no hurry to release her so she just waited there. Eventually the pressure of his hands eased and he slid his member out.

“Lick it off.”

She looked at his shaft and saw the cum coating the top of his helmet. Extending her tongue, she licked it clean.

“Now lick off your lips.”

She did as he instructed and was rising off her knees when he interrupted her.

“You can stay down there.”

Confused, she glanced up at him. He was smiling as he looked to her side. Following his gaze she was stunned to see two guys standing there their eyes glued on her. She didn’t know their names but recognized them as players on the football team.

“Nice show, Todd. Really fucking hot.”

“Yeah, that looked fucking ace.”

“Glad you liked it. Who wants to go next?”

“What!” Beth sputtered. “The deal was just you, that’s it.”

“I never said it was just me. These are my buddies. We share and share alike.”

“No. You promised.”

“You suck them off like the little slut you are and then we’re done.”

Todd had rebuckled his jeans and one of the other guys was now in front of her pulling out his member. She felt utterly beaten. When he pushed his shaft towards her she just opened her mouth and took it in. At first, like Todd, he just stood there motionless and waited until she started moving her mouth up and down his length.

“That’s it little girlie. You know you love it.”

She tried not to think, to be somewhere else in her mind, but the pain of her straining lips and burning arms kept bring her back. When he started thrusting her only prayer was that he would finish quickly. She no longer even cared about the constant battering of his helmet against the back of her throat. He was using her and she was just letting him. In her dazed state she became aware that Todd was holding his phone towards her and seemed to be taking pictures or a video but piled on all the other humiliations she couldn’t make herself care. The guy was driving into her faster and harder now and she tried to lessen the impacts by pushing her hands against his thighs but it was hopeless, he was far too big and strong. Suddenly his sperm was filling her mouth and she tried to gulp it down, terrified that Todd would be angry if she spilled any, but his continuing savage thrusts caused her to gag. Coughing violently, some of the cum flew out of her mouth and nose spattering the dark, wiry hairs around his penis or landing on the floor beneath her. She looked up at Todd, still holding the phone, in panic.

“Lick it up, slut.”

She was so far past caring, so far past any rational thought, she simply did what he wanted. She needed to use her lips to pull the droplets of cum off his pubic hairs and then dropped down to the floor to lick off anything she could see.

By now the other guy was in front of her, his rampant cock already out and a hungry, impatient look on his face. Beth was terrified. Would they let her go after this? Or would they do more things, worse things, to her? All she could do was to try not to anger them and hope that when she had done what Todd wanted he would keep his word. She leaned forward, took in his shaft and started moving her mouth up and down it.

He didn’t even wait for her to get him started. He took her head in his hands and started pumping his cock into her.

“Fuck yeah. This was worth the wait. You’ve got a hot little mouth, babe. You can polish my cock any time you want. You’re a lucky man, Todd, she’s a real cutie. You can bang my chick whenever you like.”

Had she a shred of dignity left, Beth would have been incensed that they thought she was Todd’s girlfriend. All she cared now was getting out of here without anything worse happening. Despite the pain, her fear drove her to clamp her lips around his shaft as he pumped in and out. The roof of her mouth and the back of her throat were raw from the relentless hits and she could taste the sharp, ferrous tang of blood.

He’d watched Todd and Max go ahead of him and the anticipation of this had been delicious. Now he was in her mouth he couldn’t believe how good it felt. He was close and almost reluctant to have this end. He slowed down a little but banged in harder with each thrust wanting to feel the impact on her throat.

“Hey Matty, I think we need a cum shot for this movie” Todd said.

He laughed, loving the idea. He continued thrusting hard until he was on the verge of release and then pulled out and took his cock in his hand.

“OK, look up at me and keep your eyes open.”

Beth was confused; he hadn’t cum but he was taking his member out of her mouth. And then she realized what he was going to do. Her shame found a new low. She just knelt and waited, looking up at him as she watched him run his hand back and forth along his shaft.

He had been close when he withdrew and now seeing her pretty eyes looking up at him his excitement soared. It took only a few stokes and his cum was flying out, streams splashing over her face. White, sticky threads ran over her eyes up into her hair and then back down over her lips, spreading out over her tanned skin.

“Bullseye, Matty! Nice aim. OK slut, collect it with your finger and swallow it.”

She hadn’t imagined this last little cruel indignity but did as he asked trying to collect everything she could feel on her face and hair.

“Good girl” he said putting down his phone. “You can get up now.”

Was it over? Would they let her go now? She just wanted to get out of there as fast as possible. Keeping her eyes downcast, she reached for her T-shirt and quickly put it on before stuffing her bra into the backpack. As she tried to get up she realized just how badly her knees hurt and how stiff her legs were. Suddenly Todd had hold of her arm and was pulling her up. He quickly led her out of the room and back into the bright sunlight.

“OK you can fuck off now.”

“You’ll t-tell Janice.... that I a-apologized?” she stammered.

“Sure. Get out of here.”

On wobbly legs she half-ran to her bike and quickly rode off. Using every ounce of her remaining willpower she held it together for the long ride back. She willed herself not to think about what had happened, fighting back the tears that threatened to leave her sightless.

When she arrived home she quickly put her bike away and walked to the house. She prayed that no one would see her. The hall was empty when she entered and she ran to her room, locking the door behind her. In a daze, she took off her shirt and shorts and stepped into the shower. Alone and with the sound of the gushing water for protection, she allowed the horror of what had happened to finally overwhelm her. Leaning against the shower wall for support, she sobbed uncontrollably, her tears coursing down her face and neck. And as she remembered her terror, she began to shake violently. Every muscle in her body seemed to vibrate in fear and she slumped down, sitting with her back against the wall and holding her head in her hands as she wept. How long she sat like that she couldn’t say; only the rapidly cooling water pulled her out of her stupor, forcing her to leave and wrap a towel around herself.

She lay on the bed, her emotions a terrifying nightmare. Guilt and disgust enveloped her, she felt dirty. And when she thought of Dario, she truly despaired. She had betrayed him. She had let herself be used. She had let herself be defiled. If he ever found out what she had done, he would never speak to her again. And he would be right, how could anyone like her or respect her knowing what she’d done. The pain of that thought compounded her anguish.

When her mother called her down to dinner she replied that she was sick and was just going to sleep. Carol was concerned, particular as her daughter’s voice sounded so weak and hoarse. When her mother wanted to come up and see her, Beth managed to persuade her to wait until after dinner. By then she was in bed with the lights turned off and in the dark her mother couldn’t see her swollen and bleeding lips and the haunted look in her eyes.
She lay there in the dark, exhausted and bereft. She had no more tears to shed. Pulling her knees up into her chest, she tried to imagine Dario’s arm holding her, soothing her to sleep.

The morning brought only the memory of what she had done. She yearned to see Dario, to just be near him, but her shame and self-loathing wouldn’t allow it. And looking at herself in the mirror she couldn’t risk the question of what had happened to her mouth and lips. When her mother came in to see her she pulled the duvet up to her face, only her eyes left exposed, and convinced her she should stay in bed that day. Left with only her own thoughts was misery and she tried to find solace in the hope that she had prevented Janice from reporting Dario to the police. With this thought she texted her.

Did Todd tell you I apologized to him?

After hitting send, she sat staring at the screen waiting for Janice’s response. The minutes ticked by and her dread built with no answer coming. Almost two hours later the reply dropped.

Yep

So we’re good now? You won’t go to the police?

Again no immediate response came to her question. Beth had no doubt that Janice was doing this deliberately to torment her. Finally her phone pinged.

Nope

Beth wanted to cry in frustration. With shaking fingers she texted.

No we’re not good? Or no you won’t go to the police?

Yep

Now the tears came, hot and heavy. She wanted to throw the phone against a wall but threw herself onto the bed instead. And as she lay there, her silent tears staining the duvet, she thought about the young girl she had bullied at school. Was this what it was like for her? Her guilt and remorse couldn’t have been any deeper and now she wept for the pain and fear that little girl had suffered at her hands.

Eventually she sat up and pulling the phone to her, she called Janice’s number. It rang twice and then went to voicemail. She texted.

Janice please. Will you go to the police or not?

By now she knew not to expect a quick reply and went to her bathroom to wash her face. When she came back she opened up her laptop. Dario had said she should say sorry to the girl she had bullied and now more than ever she wanted to do this. She set about trying to find her. Logging on to her school website she searched for information on attendance in the lower grades. She hoped to use the fact that the girl had stopped attending their school as the clue to her name. Doing something positive to try to address a wrong she had committed helped her forget, at least for the moment, her own misery. It took a while but eventually she found her. A girl two grades below her who had a perfect attendance record until around the same time Beth had started to bully her. Then her attendance had begun to show absences until finally she disappeared from the class list completely. As she was recording the girl’s name, Emma Brooks, her phone pinged. It was from Janice.

No

She felt relief but it was a muted, despondent relief. She had saved Dario but in doing so had she destroyed any chance that she could be with him? If he knew what she had done he would despise her as much as she despised herself. How could he ever want to be with someone who’d done such disgusting things. How could he respect her when she didn’t respect herself. That he didn’t know meant nothing; she knew and not telling him was just a lie. He was so good and honest and she wasn’t good enough for him. The pain in her heart was so crippling she could only survive by holding onto a tiny sliver of hope. Could there be a faint chance he might forgive her? Was there any possibility, however remote, he would give her a second chance?

Hearing her mother coming up the stairs, she quickly returned to bed and pulled up the duvet.

“Can I come in, Honey?”

“Sure, Mum. It’s open” she replied hoarsely.

“How are you feeling, Beth? Your throat still sounds sore.”

“A little better” she whispered.

The look of concern on her mother’s face made her want to start crying again. Her parents’ unquestioning love only made her feel worse and the thought of them finding out what she had done, what kind of a daughter she was, terrified her. She couldn’t bear the thought of their pain and their disappointment in her.

“You must be hungry. Do you think you can join us for dinner tonight?”

She shook her head but her mother was right, she was hungry.

“At least let me bring you something up here. Is there anything you could eat?”

“Could I have some soup?” she whispered, her eyes misting over.

Carol assumed the tears were because it hurt to speak.

“Of course, Honey. I’ll make some now and bring it up. Do you want me to call the doctor and have him take a look at you?”

Beth shook her head, touched by her mother’s concern but nervous about any more questions.

“I’m starting to feel better, Mum, honest.”

Later, sipping her soup, Beth could hear the faint murmuring coming from downstairs. Despite the hopelessness of her situation, she yearned to be down there. Just to be able to see Dario, to hear him talk. Had she known how worried he was about her and how much he also missed her, she would probably have started crying again but with that sliver of hope just slightly bigger.

Walking towards the barn the next morning she almost turned around and returned to her bedroom. She simply couldn’t shake the fear that Dario would take one look at her and know what she had done. Her guilt and shame seemed to scream out loud but her longing to see him drove her on. And when she reached the upper level and he turned and smiled at her, her heart melted.

“Hi Dario, s-sorry I’ve been sick and couldn’t help you” she said in a faint voice.

“Hi Beth. How are you feeling? Are you sure you’re well enough to help?”

She nodded, not able to look at him. “Yes. I’d like to help.... please.”

“Of course, that would be great. I’m still laying the new floor boards. Do you want to help with that?”

She nodded again and he handed her some knee pads to wear. She had to fight back the urge to cry at the terrible memory this invoked. She liked laying the new boards because it required them to work together as a team. Dario would apply adhesive to the underfloor and then they would both lay the new boards, making sure they fit tightly together before the adhesive set. The work required care and concentration and it provided Beth the release she needed from her guilt and fear. Just being beside Dario as they worked together gave her a comfort she cherished.

When they had finished several rows, they took a break to stretch their legs and Beth glanced at her phone. There was a text from Todd. Her fear immediately rushed back and she moved away to read it.

Meet me at the same place today at 2:30.

Panic gripped her. With shaking fingers she responded asking why.

Planning to upload a video to the school website and then send to your parents. Thought you might want to see it first.