Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Watching Over Me

Prologue:

January 24th, 1979 - Heaven

For centuries, Castiel had been waiting. He was an Angel of Heaven, a warrior. Different Angels had different responsibilities. Castiel had been paying his dues for as long as he could remember, fighting away demons who were attempting human possession, comforting those who were grieving, healing humans who had a greater purpose to fulfill, and more. He worked himself to the bone every single day. All of it was to earn a title that was not assigned lightly: Guardian.

To be a Guardian, you were required to prove yourself worthy, capable. If you were ever chosen, you would be assigned a human to watch over, to protect, someone with an important purpose. 

Castiel wanted nothing more. He was certain that it was his calling. Someday, a human, an important one, would need his protection.

Castiel . Naomi’s voice echoed in his mind. Your presence is requested.

Castiel didn’t waste any time. He appeared before his superiors, immediately approaching and remaining silent.

“Castiel,” said Naomi. “Have a seat.” He did as told. “We’ve reviewed your efforts, and a decision has been made. Tonight, a human child named Dean Winchester was born. His arrival into the world has been greatly anticipated. We have plans for him, and he will need a Guardian. This is your assignment, Castiel.”

“It would be a great honor,” said Castiel. “I will not fail.”

“Good. First order of business, you will need a vessel.” She imprinted the chosen boy in his mind and where to find him. “Jimmy Novak will be your vessel for as long as Dean Winchester  lives. He’ll be a grown man when you’re ready for him. Dean is destined to be a Hunter. Once he is of age to begin training, Jimmy will become your vessel, leaving his life behind.” She showed Castiel where to find Dean. “For now, you must claim Dean as your human. You will watch over him from a distance until it’s time. You are dismissed.”

Castiel left without another word.

Dean had been home from the hospital for only a few hours. Castiel approached the home carefully, only allowing the faintest bit of his presence to be there. He slowly seeped into Dean’s nursery, his aura surrounding the crib. Dean’s mother, Mary, stood over her child, pure joy all over her face. As Castiel loomed, Mary’s demeanor changed. She appeared sad suddenly. Tears began to well in her eyes.

“Angels are watching over you,” she whispered as she bent down to kiss Dean’s forehead. He remained sleeping. She straightened, turning around and looking at the seemingly empty space. “Take care of him. Please.”

She left after that, baby monitor in hand. Castiel realized that she must know. There was a Hunter in her family, perhaps herself. He gingerly touched Dean’s skin, leaving his claim. In 25 short years, he would return.

Chapter Text

Watching Over Me

Chapter 1:

January 24th, 2004 - Lawrence, Kansas

“Alright, Mr. Gonzales, you’re all set,” announced Dean as he parked the newly fixed truck out in front of the shop. He stepped out, wiping sweat and oil from his brow with a rag as he shut the door and handed off the keys. It had been a long, exhausting job, but it was done.

“God,” beamed Mr. Gonzales, taking in the sight of his truck all fixed up from the accident, “she’s beautiful. Thank you, Dean. Your daddy would be so proud.”

Dean’s lips forced a smile, knowing the other man meant well. “Thank you, sir. I’d like to think so.”

Mr. Gonzales offered an understanding smile. “Well,” he reached into his pocket, pulling out a thick wad of cash, “this ought to cover it, and keep the rest as a tip.” He laughed when Dean looked at him with wide eyes. “Don’t look so surprised. You earned it. Besides, it’s your birthday today isn’t it? Go have some fun. Don’t you have plans?”

“Oh, yeah,” chuckled Dean. “I’ve got a hot date with a deep dish and some UFC.”

“Dean, you’re a young man. Go have a good time. Surely you’re at least going to see your brother?”

“Eh, maybe. Sammy’s working real hard at law school, and I don’t wanna take away from that. It’s just another day.”

Mr. Gonzales quietly sighed. “Thanks again, Dean. Have a good rest of your day.”

“Thank you, sir. Drive safe.” Dean was relieved when Mr. Gonzales drove off. He was finally able to drop the smile. However, when he looked down at the cash in his hands, the smile came back genuine. “Happy birthday to me.”

***

Dean followed through with his birthday plans. He ordered from his favorite pizza spot and turned on UFC. Just as he was getting comfortable, a text from Sam came through.

Sammy: Hey, are you sure you don’t want to do anything tonight? You only turn 25 once.

Dean sighed to himself. Sam meant well, but his birth wasn’t exactly something he deemed worthy of celebrating. Besides, now that he was older, it seemed even less necessary to make a big deal out of it.

Dean: I’m sure. Thanks Sammy.

A call rang through a moment later.

“Yes, Sammy?” answered Dean, trying not to sound irritated.

“Can I at least stop by?” asked Sam. “Please?”

Dean couldn’t help but roll his eyes, though he only meant it a little. “Jesus, man, it’s just another Saturday. Can’t I watch grown men beat each other to shit in peace?”

It was quiet for a moment before Sam spoke up. “No, I’m on my way.”

“Sammy!”

“I’m bringing a six pack, calm down.”

“Fine.” Dean snapped his cellphone shut, huffing and sinking into his couch. So much for ignoring his birthday.

Within 20 minutes, Sam was parking outside. Dean heard the distinct sound of Sam’s car engine that sputtered to a halt as he turned it off. One of these days, Sam was going to have to accept that he’d need a new car. His sentimental attachment was understandable, but the damn thing was nearing being unsafe.

“Hey, Sammy,” greeted Dean as he opened his front door. “Come on in.”

“Hey, Dean, happy birthday.” Sam handed off the six pack, a big, goofy smile on his face. “Come on, let’s watch the fight.”

Dean squinted ever so slightly, wondering what the hell was up with Sam. Sure, Sam usually forced him to celebrate his birthday, but this seemed over the top. Even as his brother sat on the couch and popped open a beer, something seemed off, strange. 

“Sam,” started Dean, “are you feeling alright?”

The way Sam looked at him was unsettling. It was too nonchalant, as if Dean’s question was completely unwarranted. “Yeah? Why wouldn’t I be? Is it that weird to you that I wanna spend my big brother’s birthday with him?”

Dean shook his head, deciding to drop it. “No, not weird at all.” He popped the cap of his beer, plopping beside Sam and taking a swig. “Thanks, Sammy.”

“Of course. This is a very important birthday.”

Now Dean felt even more uncomfortable. An eerie, uncertain energy hung in the air, something he never felt around Sam. “What makes you say that? I get I can rent a car now but–”

“No, Dean, it’s much more than that.” Sam turned in his seat, facing Dean and resting his arms on his knees. “You see, now that you’re 25, your training can begin.”

Dean blinked. “My what?”

“Your training. What you were always meant to do.”

“Okay, Sam, you’re kinda freaking me out. What the hell are you talking about?”

“It’s your destiny.” Sam stared at him intensely, something flickering behind his eyes that made Dean unconsciously shift away. “You were always meant to fight monsters.”

“Monsters?” Dean didn’t know what to do with anything that was coming out of Sam’s mouth. “What are you talking about? Seriously? Are you feeling okay? Did someone drug you or something?”

Suddenly Sam’s smile turned into something sinister, something that sent a horrible chill up Dean’s spine. “No, no drugs.”

It happened so fast. Dean was weightless, lifted into the air off the couch, and then his back slammed into the wall beside the kitchen entryway. He fell to the floor, groaning in pain as he tried to pull himself to his feet. The moment he stood up, Sam was right in front of him. Their eyes met, and Dean felt his blood run cold. Sam’s eyes were pitch black, soulless. He raised his hand up, and Dean went flying again, this time stuck to the wall with his feet dangling two feet above the floor.

“Dean, Dean, Dean,” tsked Sam. “You know I was hoping to at least get through a beer first, but you know your baby brother so well.”

“Who the hell are you?” grunted Dean. He felt like he couldn’t breathe. The force holding him to the wall was pushing against him, crushing him. It felt like his ribs were breaking. “What did you do with Sam?”

“I really wouldn’t worry about Sam right now. I’d worry about you. Sammy’s fine.” Sam smiled wickedly, pointing to his temple. “He’s in here. He’s screaming for you, begging you to help him, begging me to not hurt you.”

“I asked you a damn question! Who the hell are you?”

“Not who, what. You see, my real name would probably be really difficult for someone like you to pronounce. All you need to know is, I’m a Demon.” He flashed the pitch black eyes again, then blinking and making Sam’s soft green eyes reappear. 

“No,” Dean shook his head as much as he was able to while still being crushed against the wall, “no Demons aren’t real.”

“Oh, no? Then explain your brother’s eyes, Dean. Explain how you’re being held up in the air against the wall when I’m not even touching you.” When Dean was quiet, Sam barked a laugh. “Yeah, I thought so. Poor little Dean. Guess your Guardian didn’t do a very good job of keeping an eye on you.”

“What are you talking about? What do you want from me? Let my brother go!”

“Oh, I’ll let him go, after I make him watch himself kill you with his own hands. You see, you were chosen a long time ago. You’re supposed to be a Hunter, someone who tracks people like me down. But, if we can get to you before you’ve been trained, then we have the upper hand. You didn’t even know I existed. Within months you’d be skilled enough to exorcise me and send my ass back to Hell, and I’d rather not go back. It’s not fun down there, you know.”

“You’ve got the wrong guy.”

“No,” Sam raised his hand, bringing a large, sharp kitchen knife whistling through the air and into his hand, “I don’t. Goodbye, Dean.”

Dean squeezed his eyes shut, his heart hammering in his chest. He screamed in his mind for someone, anyone to help him. 

A loud crash made Sam whip around. The front door flew open, falling off the hinges. A man stood in the doorway, the look on his face absolutely deadly. He stood tall, with messy black hair, wearing a brown trench coat over a cheap looking suit. He stalked towards Sam, who was now backing away.

“You,” whispered Sam. He quickly raised the blade to his own throat. “Stop! One wrong move and baby brother dies.”

The man didn’t so much as bat an eye. Suddenly the knife was ripped from Sam’s hand. It clattered the ground and then slid out of reach. Sam’s breathing was unsteady now, his arms up in defense as he backed away.

“I didn’t touch him!” he cried. He looked terrified, though Dean was certain it wasn’t Sam who was scared now. “Please, just let me leave.”

The man didn’t say a word at first. He walked closer, closing the space between himself and Sam. “You don’t get to beg for mercy.” His voice was low, rugged. Pure rage hung on every syllable. “You attacked my human. You pay the price.” 

“No, no, please–!”

The man moved like lightning, too fast for Dean to fully see. He was now pressing his palm to Sam’s forehead, making Sam scream in agony.

“No!” screeched Dean. “Sammy!”

Sam fell to his knees, his back arched as he threw his head back, black smoke pouring out and shooting at the ceiling before dissipating entirely. He collapsed, and the crushing weight on Dean stopped in an instant, dropping him to the floor beside Sam.

“Sammy!” Dean crawled to his brother, pushing himself up and pulling Sam’s unconscious body into his lap. He cradled Sam’s head, tears brimming in his eyes. “Sammy, please, please wake up. You’re okay. You’ve gotta be okay!”

“Dean.”

Dean’s head cracked to the side, looking up at the stranger. “What did you do to my brother? Tell me now!”

The man knelt beside them. Dean opened his mouth to yell, to protest. Before he could get a word out, the man pressed two fingers to Sam’s forehead, jolting Sam awake.

“Sam!” Dean shifted them moving so he could better look at Sam. “Sammy, Sammy talk to me! Are you okay? What happened?”

“Dean?” Sam’s voice was groggy. He blinked slowly, fully coming to. “I’m okay. I don’t know what happened. I was home. You’d just texted me that you were okay on your own tonight. Then, there was this weird smell in the air. I thought maybe it was a gas leak, and then I thought I saw black smoke coming from my kitchen. I got up to run and see what was happening and everything went dark. Next thing I knew I couldn’t control my own body, and I was attacking you.”

“You were possessed,” said the man. “That Demon wanted to kill Dean, so they took over your body in order to get close to him.”

“Who are you?” asked Dean. “How did you know to come help us?”

“My name is Castiel. I’m an Angel of the Lord.”

“Right.” Dean looked at Sam with wide eyes, trying to portray the insanity in Castiel’s statement. “Well, I don’t know about the Angel thing, but thank you for saving my brother. And me.”

“It’s my duty.” When Dean narrowed his eyes, Castiel continued. “I know that this is a lot to take in. Usually when Hunters become of age, we introduce them into the world slowly, get them used to the monsters. It’s a bit easier to accept what I am once we’ve already broken that barrier. Unfortunately, the Demon took that away, and now you have to learn the truth in a more jarring way.”

“Okay, let’s say I believe you. That Demon, or whatever, why did it want to kill me? It babbled something about ‘Hunters’ too, but I’m telling you guys you’ve got the wrong dude. I’m not a Hunter. I’m a damn mechanic for pete’s sake.”

“I know what you are Dean. It’s what you’re meant to become that matters. No one is born a Hunter. They’re chosen. You were chosen by Heaven long before you were born.”

“Yeah, and why me?”

“I’m afraid I can’t answer that for you. Heaven doesn’t tell us why Hunters are chosen. All we’re told is who they are and where to find them. I’m what’s called a Guardian. I was assigned a human, you, to protect and watch over so that you can fulfill your role.”

Dean sighed heavily, shaking his head and letting it drop. “This is nuts, man. How am I supposed to believe any of this? You realize how insane this sounds, right?”

“Dean,” began Sam, “it sounds crazy, but I was just possessed by a Demon . Castiel got rid of it. I don’t know how much more proof you could ask for.”

“I don’t know, but something! I can’t wrap my mind around any of this, okay? I feel like I’m about to lose my damn mind!” Dean placed his face in his hands, trying to breathe. It was too much. Everything was too much. Demons and Angels, they were supposed to be fairy tales, not very real things that almost killed Sam. “And if you were supposed to be watching me or whatever, then how come you let a Demon possess Sam?”

“I am your Guardian, not his,” said Castiel. “As soon as I saw what was happening, I came here to stop it and protect you. I will always try to protect your loved ones too when I can, but you are my priority, Dean.”

“So, what, you just stalk me all the time?”

“No, I give you your privacy, but I laid a mark on you when you were born. I feel it when you’re in danger, and I come to you to make sure you’re okay.”

“The hell do you mean you laid a mark on me?”

“Dean,” whispered Sam. He reached up, shoving Dean’s shirt sleeve up to reveal the handprint shaped scar on his shoulder. “I’m willing to bet that you mean this.”

“Correct,” said Castiel. “It’s how I make sure you’re okay, and how other beings know that you have a Guardian.”

“You branded my ass the day I was born?” shouted Dean, grabbing at his scar with his opposite hand.

“I branded your shoulder,” corrected Castiel. “You’ll see that you’re not alone when you meet the other Hunters.”

“Where the hell do you think I’m going? I have a life, buddy. I don’t know who you think I am, but I’m not some hero.”

Castiel’s lips pressed into a tight line. “Allow me to take you to see your mother. She can explain things to you.”

“My mom? If she knew about this crap, she would have told me!”

“She wasn’t allowed to. Please, Dean, let me take you to her so you two can talk.”

“Hell no! I’ll go see my mom, but you’re not taking me anywhere.” Dean got to his feet and made his way to the front door, which still lay on the ground, swiping his car keys off the hook on the wall. “I’ll drive there myself.”

“Dean,” Castiel placed his hand on Dean’s shoulder, on his claim, “if that Demon came after you tonight, there’s more to come. It means you’ve been found. Please, at least let me ride with you in your vehicle.”

Dean set his jaw, wanting to argue more. He sighed heavily, the overwhelming information making him feel unstable and angry. “Fine, but Sammy rides shotgun. Your ass can sit in the back.” He stepped outside, hurrying to his car. Getting inside, he unlocked the other doors and turned over the engine once everyone was inside. 

The drive was completely silent. Dean didn’t bother turning on any music. He needed to think. Was Castiel really an Angel? Was there something bigger than his small town life really going on? He had no idea, but what he couldn’t deny was that a Demon had possessed his little brother. He’d seen it, the black eyes, the telekinesis crap. You couldn’t really explain being pinned to a wall by nothing. His mind was swirling with what had been said, what he’d seen, what he didn’t want to be true.

Arriving at Mary’s house, Dean parked the car. He hurried to the front door, glancing over his shoulder to make sure Sam was close by. Reaching for the door, he gave it a gentle knock, not wanting to startle his mom. He hadn’t exactly called ahead.

The door opened slowly, revealing Mary in her nightgown, her expression a mix of happy and confused. “Dean? Sam? Sweethearts, what are you–?” She froze as Castiel approached. “Castiel? What are you doing here?”

“Wait,” Dean looked between them, “you know him?”

Mary’s eyes were wide with fear, her hand shaky as she brought it up to run her fingers through her hair. “Yes, but I don’t understand.” She looked at Castiel, tears beginning to well in her eyes. “Don’t tell me it’s already time. His birthday is today .”

“Mom, what is going on? Why do you know about this?”

“Come inside, all of you, please.” She hurried them in, shutting the door and locking it. “I’ll make some coffee.” 

The boys and Castiel sat at the kitchen table while Mary busily brewed coffee. She poured out three mugs, pausing to turn to Castiel. “Castiel, do you want any?”

“I’m alright,” he said. “Thank you.”

She brought the coffee over, setting it down in front of her boys and sitting with her own in her hands, soaking up the soothing warmth. “Dean, honey, you must be so confused.”

“Mom,” started Dean, his voice cracking with the weight of it all, “what’s going on?”

“If I may,” interjected Castiel, “Mary, a Demon possessed Sam today, trying to get to Dean. That's why I’m already here.”

Mary’s bottom lip quivered. She nodded, bringing her mug to her lips and taking a long sip. “I was afraid of something like that happening. There have been omens in the area.”

“Omens?” questioned Sam.

“Yes, there have been some electrical storms the past few days. I was hoping it was just the weather, but I should have known better. I should have better protected you two.”

“Mom,” Dean placed his hand on his mother’s, “I am so past freaked out. Please, explain what’s going on, and if you knew about it, why didn’t you tell me?”

Mary took a shaky breath, squeezing Dean’s hand. “Alright. Here’s the truth. All the stories from your childhood, about Demons and Angels, ghosts, vampires, werewolves, all of those things, they’re all true. After I turned 25 years old, an Angel came to me, my Guardian, and explained that I had been chosen to be a Hunter. Hunters are people chosen by Heaven to fight these monsters.” When Dean didn’t speak, she continued. “When I brought you home from the hospital, I had just put you in your crib.” Her eyes flickered to Castiel. “I felt a presence, and right away I knew. Once you meet an Angel, you know what it feels like when they’re around.”

“I don’t understand,” whispered Dean. “How could we not know this about you?”

“I was forced into early retirement. A little over a year into my training, I met your father. I was here in town hunting a shapeshifter. John and I met, and I knew he was the one for me.” She smiled softly, sadly. “Hunters aren’t supposed to have relationships. Too many emotional ties makes the job too hard, but I broke the rules. I ended up pregnant with you, and they had no choice but to retire me.” She looked at Castiel, tears burning in her eyes. “Tell me. Did you choose my son as punishment for what I did?”

Castiel shifted uncomfortably in his seat. “I can’t say for certain. When I was assigned Dean as my human, they didn’t tell me why he was chosen. What I do know is that humans are chosen for this mission based on what Heaven sees in their soul. I sincerely doubt that anything was done out of vengeance or malice.”

Mary sighed, nodding her head and wiping away her tears. “I still feel responsible.”

“So, what does this mean? Am I supposed to leave my life behind?” asked Dean. “I mean come on. Don’t I get a say in this?”

“Yes,” said Castiel, “but, without proper training, you’re a target who doesn’t stand a chance.”

“So? You’re my Guardian. Guard me.”

“If you reject your mission I’ll be reassigned.” A hush fell over the room. Castiel stared ahead, not looking anyone in the eye. “Demons already know about you, Dean. If you reject your training, you’ll be defenseless,” he met Dean’s eyes, “and I won’t be allowed to protect you.”

Dean sank in his seat, the realization setting in. He stared back at Castiel, seeing nothing but worry and grief swimming in his piercing blue eyes. “So what you’re saying is, I’m a dead bitch unless I go with you.”

Castiel nodded, his eyes even sadder now. “I’ve been watching over you for twenty-five years. I know you like your life here, but I’m going to ask that you come with me. I don’t think anyone at this table wants to see you die.”

Shifting his attention to Sam and Mary, Dean could see the tears in their eyes. “You guys want me to go, don’t you?”

“I want you to be safe,” said Mary, her voice cracking between words. “And Castiel can keep you safe. What you’ll learn with The Men of Letters will keep you alive. I don’t want you to leave, but I want you to live.”

“I just have to ask one more thing. They made you retire. Wouldn’t things still come after you?”

“Yes, all the time. I have wards on the house, charms in my bags.” She turned around, lifting her hair and pulling down the collar of her shirt, revealing a tattoo just below the back of her neck. “It’s an anti-possession symbol. I’ve had to take everything I learned and apply it to my life to stay alive. It’s less often now. They’ve moved on to new, less experienced Hunters.” She sat back down, reaching over and gently cupping Dean’s cheek. “But you, you don’t know how to protect yourself, and I couldn’t teach you if I wanted to. I can’t risk breaking any more rules than I already have, for both your and Sam’s sake.”

“And I thought I had it rough because I have an exam next week,” said Sam. 

Dean and Mary managed a small laugh.

“I guess I better quit my job,” huffed Dean. “Shit, this is…” he trailed off, realizing just how much he was leaving behind. 

“Mary and I will make sure your affairs are in order,” said Castiel. “Take tonight to pack what you want to bring with you. You should sleep here. Your apartment isn’t safe anymore.”

“Great. Okay, I guess I’ll head back now.” Dean placed his hand over his mouth. “Oh shit. We left my door on the ground.”

Sam couldn’t help but laugh. “Yeah, we should go fix that.”

“You three go,” said Mary. “I’ll start doing what I need to to make this easier for you.”

Dean smiled ever so slightly before it disappeared again. “Thanks, mom.”

Luckily, Dean’s apartment had remained untouched while they were gone. If anyone had seen the door on the ground, they’d opted to move along. Castiel helped Sam reattach the door, whilst Dean began packing in his bedroom. 

Sifting through clothes, Dean grabbed what he liked, what he thought he’d need, and anything with memories. He grabbed his dad’s leather jacket, the Metallica shirt Sam had gotten him for Christmas one year, and all basic clothing necessities. For a while, he stared down at his duffle bag, unsure what else he should be packing. 

“Hello, Dean,” Castiel’s voice came from directly behind him. 

He whipped around startled. “Jesus!” He placed his hand over his thudding heart. “Dude you can’t sneak up on me like that.”

“My apologies. I didn’t mean to frighten you.”

“It’s fine.” He huffed a sigh, turning back to his bag. “Hey, am I supposed to bring anything other than clothes and toiletries? This sounds like some sort of boot camp, so.”

“You can bring anything you’d like. Your hygiene products will be provided, as will certain clothing for special training. It’s less to be concerned with. Everything else is up to your comfort.” Castiel gestured to the poster Dean had on his bedroom wall of a girl laying on a car nude, her nipplies hidden by pressing her breasts to the hood. “You’re more than welcome to bring any decor that may help it feel like home.”

Dean felt his cheeks burn. Something about an Angel pointing out that poster made him feel embarrassed by it for the first time. “That can stay. I was thinking about my cassette tapes and my car.”

“Your vehicle unfortunately does have to remain here, but only for now. You’ll spend one year training at the Men of Letters base in London, England. After that, you can return to the states to begin taking on assignments.”

“One year, huh? Well, hopefully Sammy knows better than to wreck my car in that amount of time. Somebody’s gotta keep her spinning.” He sauntered over to his cassette collection, grabbing his four favorites and tucking them between pieces of clothing. “I never realized that most of my life could fit in a duffle bag. That’s a little depressing.”

“There’s no shame in not having many possessions.”

“Look, I know you’re my Guardian or whatever, but you don’t have to try and make me feel better.” He zipped his bag shut, slinging it over his shoulder. “I’m a big boy. I’ll be fine.”

Castiel didn’t say anything else. He barely moved, only slightly nodding and opening the door for Dean. Dean gave a tight lip smile and walked past him, heading out into the living room.

“Hey,” started Sam, “I just talked to mom. We’re going to get a moving truck and get the rest of your stuff over the weekend.”

“Shit,” groaned Dean, “breaking lease is gonna cost an arm and a leg.”

“Apparently that’s handled. I guess the Men of Letters or whatever is going to send mom the money needed to cover your expenses. You’ve already got a plane ticket for tomorrow morning.”

Dean raised his eyebrows. He scoffed and shook his head. “Damn. Where were these guys when mom was scrounging money to pay for dad’s funeral?”

“Dean—”

“No, I mean really, Sam, what is this? They let us struggle our whole lives, and now suddenly they want me so bad that they’ll just shell out thousands of dollars to get me?”

“Look, I don’t want you to leave, man. Mom doesn’t want you to leave. But, if this is as serious as it sounds, then it is what it is.” He clapped his brother on the shoulder. “Maybe this is a good thing for you.”

“Sammy, no offense, but how the hell would this be a good thing?”

“Well, you’ll get to visit another country. Maybe you’ll even meet some people.”

“Well aren’t we glass half full?”

“One of us has to be.” Sam gave Dean a small smile. “It’ll be alright.”

Dean did his best to smile back. “Yeah. Sure. Let’s go then.”

***

At the kitchen table, Dean sat alone. It was after 1:00 a.m., but he couldn’t sleep. He held a cup of coffee in his hands that had long since gotten cold. 

“Honey?” Mary’s voice snapped his attention. “What are you doing up?”

“I could ask you the same thing,” he teased. 

She took his mug, placing it in the microwave and quickly reheating it. Giving it back, she sat beside him and placed her hand on his wrist. “Do you want to talk?”

He shrugged. “Not sure what I’d say. I think I’m a little old to be afraid of the monsters in my closet.”

“But now that you know they’re real, it’s okay to be scared. I’m still afraid all the time. It isn’t easy knowing that there are very real threats out there.”

“Just…promise me you’ll keep Sammy safe while I’m gone. Castiel said that I have to be in London for a year before I can come back.”

She gave his wrist a gentle squeeze. “You know I will.”

“And make sure he doesn’t screw up my car.”

“You’re going to leave it with him?”

“She’ll rot unless someone drives her.”

Getting to her feet, she kissed Dean’s temple as she ran her fingers through his hair. “Try to get some sleep. Your flight’s in a few hours.”

“Okay. Goodnight, mom.”

“Goodnight, honey.”

As soon as she was down the hall, Dean let out a heavy sigh, tears welling in his eyes. The truth was, he couldn’t have been more afraid. Ever since that thing attacked, took over his brother’s body and almost killed them, his heart hadn’t stopped racing. Adrenaline and fear pumped through his veins, and he worried that it may never fade away. Monsters . Once a word, now a very real threat, he didn’t know how he was supposed to sleep. 

After finishing his coffee, he washed his mug and headed to his childhood bedroom. He stripped down to his boxers, climbing into bed and facing the door. He wanted to sleep, to rest at least a little, but he couldn’t bring himself to close his eyes. The image of Sam with pitch black eyes played over in his mind like a waking nightmare.

A knock on his door almost made him jump out of his skin. “Hello?”

The door creaked open, revealing Castiel. He’d changed from his dirty trench coat into black sweat pants and a well fitting grey t-shirt. 

“What's with the costume change?” asked Dean. “I didn’t picture Angels wearing pajamas.”

“It’s to help you feel more comfortable. I can best help and protect you if you trust me, and we’ve found that humanizing ourselves can make things easier during your adjustment period.”

“Ah. Do you even sleep?”

“No.”

Dean nodded, processing. “Well, what’s up?”

“I sensed your distress. If you want, I can help you fall asleep.”

“Uh, how?”

Castiel approached, and Dean sat up in bed, ready to bolt. “Dean, relax, please.”

“Not until you tell me what you’re doing.”

Castiel stopped beside the bed, nearly too close. “I can use my powers to make you fall asleep. Lay back down so you don’t collapse.”

Dean hesitantly laid back down. He was on his back staring up at the ceiling with his arms rigid on either side of his body. 

“Get comfortable,” instructed Castiel. 

“Dude, just do it already. You’re freaking me the hell out.”

Without another word, Castiel pressed two fingers to Dean’s forehead, making him fall asleep instantly. Castiel waited a moment, and then he sat in the big, blue beanbag chair on the other side of the room. He took a moment to take in his surroundings, noting that Mary had left the room basically untouched from Dean’s childhood. All of Dean’s belongings from when he got older had followed him to his apartment, so the things that little Dean loved were what remained. Race car stickers littered the white closet doors, glow in the dark stars were still stuck to the ceiling, and a decorative mat with a road to play with toy cars still rested on the floor at the foot of the bed. If anything, Mary had brought out the things Dean had hid away in his closet once he became a teen. 

Castiel found himself smiling ever so slightly. The last 25 years had gone by so quickly to him, but now, it was like time was frozen. He watched Dean sleep, watched as Dean’s eyes fluttered with pleasant dreams that Castiel made sure he was having tonight. For a brief moment, a flicker of care overcame Castiel. He shoved it down immediately, forcing himself to go numb. Guardians weren’t supposed to actually care about their humans. Protecting them was done because it was an assignment. Orders were orders. Emotions of any kind were never supposed to be part of the equation. A part of Castiel, a part of him buried deep down, wondered how that was possible. How was he supposed to watch over Dean, watch him grow up, keep him safe at all costs, comfort him in times of grief, and not care? He couldn’t fathom it, but it didn’t matter. Angels were not supposed to feel. So, he wouldn’t. At least, he would ensure no one would ever know if he did.