Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

it’s so catchy, it’s impossible to even think of humming anything else.

hearing the same jingle day in and day out (and multiple times, at that) does that to you, and ramb is living proof as he sets up behind the bar. he grabs his apron off the gnarled hook it resides on during the night.

it takes a minute for him to notice, but…it used to be higher up, evidenced by the numerous screw holes marring the otherwise perfect technicolor wall. maybe tenna had the hooks moved a little lower so that now ramb doesn’t have to stand on his tiptoes every time he has to change into uniform. whoever it was, he appreciates it a lot as he ties the worn garment around his waist. 

honestly, as much as he wants to think it’s tenna, he has his doubts. it’s not often that tenna listens to concerns other than his own, usually stuck inside his big tv head. he means well, ramb knows, but he’s not a good boss and it’s only been getting worse.  

but it pays the bills. and if it was tenna that fixed the hooks, then good on him. at the very least, it puts a little more pep in ramb’s step as he readies the shop for the cast and crew members to flood the place. he isn’t expecting anyone for hours, so he takes some time to sweep any snacks and debris from the shiny floor, sighing in satisfaction once the whole place is spic-and-span. 

all the while, he’s been humming the tv time jingle to himself without even realizing. 

his thoughts turn, once again, to tenna, tenna, tenna. how he’s changed over the years. when kris and asriel first brought ramb from the library, even though he didn’t quite fit in, tenna welcomed him. and even now that their relationship has stagnated, tenna can’t bring himself to pull the plug on anything they have together, so to speak. 

maybe he’s hoping ramb will do it. and sure, ramb has thought about it plenty of times. tenna is an emotional thinker, an oxymoron as far as ramb’s concerned. he looks around at everyone else, everyone who is abandoned just like him, and throws himself a pity party. after all these years, he still hasn’t grasped what it means to be a boss, which leads to him either micromanaging or being too lenient. and ever since that emailman took advantage of his trust, he’s been cracking down on everyone to the point that ramb can’t even handle anything of monetary value at the bar anymore. 

at the same time, ramb adores tenna more than he lets on. he misses how they used to work together to make kris smile and laugh just as much as he misses the little bit themself. he misses how tenna would visit him at the bar after a looong day of tv time, and they’d polish off empties left behind from other customers. maybe ramb would even bring out some of the good stuff he had left over from cyber city.

he misses that one night they’d gotten so drunk that, having long crawled back behind the bar, they both slumped against it and just stared at each other in sleepy, drunken fascination. 

the sound of footsteps on the shiny floor brought ramb back to his senses. he hadn’t even heard the door - nor was anyone supposed to be here for hours! he leans the broom against the couch and twists around to smile at elnina, who is without lanino for once, and is still in some semblance of pajamas. she’s standing there with a somewhat odd look on her face, looking ramb up and down.

”bloody early this morning, aren’t you?” ramb speaks up, trying to break the ice - literally. the temperature has lowered a few degrees since she entered the room. “everything all hunky-dory?”

”lanino left his makeup here yesterday,” elnina explains, shaking off that odd look as she breezes past him and towards the dressing rooms. “i told him i’d get it for him…if that’s quite all right with you.”

there’s a bite to the last part, but ramb brushes it aside. he’s gotten used to the moody comments people often direct his way. if it isn’t tenna, it’s usually him, after all. “go on. best not to keep the partner waiting.” 

the dressing room door shuts, then reopens again in a matter of minutes. lanino’s makeup bag, aptly decorated in sunshiney moons, is clasped firmly in elnina’s hands. before she leaves, though, she offers a small smile to ramb. “so, tv time’s stuck in your head?”

”well, it happens,” ramb explains, a little flustered that the cloud had noticed. “you hear the same jingle every day…”

elnina’s small smile grows into a knowing one, and she titters a little. “can i let you in on a secret?” 

ramb’s afraid of what she might say next, but he nods for his colleague to continue.

”you’re alone, so you wouldn’t know, but i’ve never caught anyone else humming the theme as much as you,” she muses. “you seem to do it even more than tenna does, which is saying something.”

unsure of what she’s getting at, he rubs the back of his neck, a sheepish gesture, and goes back to sweeping soon enough. he understands the implication, or thinks he does, and it’s not ridiculous that he might harbor less than platonic feelings for tenna. for goodness sake, he’s been thinking about how they used to get drunk and look at each other. 

but he thinks about a lot of things. 

and he doesn’t like other people pointing it out. 

the temperature returns to normal a few minutes later, and ramb assumes it’s because elnina’s left. a glance over the shoulder confirms this, and with a soft sigh, and a quick lock of the green room doors, he goes back to humming as he cleans. 

but it’s a lot less carefree than it was. 

Chapter Text

business in the green room is full swing mere hours later.

ramb’s work is quickly undone by the other tv world darkners tromping back and forth and back again. despite being behind the bar, it’s rare for ramb to be part of the hustle and bustle since the vending machines were installed. occasionally, someone will ask for a drink, and ramb will serve it, whether it be tea, coffee, or alcohol, with a smile that doesn’t reach the empty holes of his eyes.

it doesn’t help that elnina, and now lanino, are both giving him looks, whispering and tittering together from where they sit on the couches across the room. the weather sure does stick together, but whether they’ll keep ramb’s secret…that’s another story. 

but ramb tries not to get too down on himself. it’s not like those two are out to get him, of course, and they get along fairly well when they do talk. he ducks his head and starts organizing the dusty mugs and glasses behind the bar, adjusting them just so even though they haven’t been used in years.

“excuse me,” he hears a moment later, and he hits his head on the edge of the counter as he tries to stand back up. 

“oh, bloody hell!” he swears, backing up before standing up straight again. he rubs the back of his head; shit that smarts. then, he glances up to see the weather duo standing in front of him, arm in arm. “what can i-“ he pauses to hiss through his teeth as his head throbs, “-do for you?”

”we didn’t mean to startle,” lanino says easily.

”so, what, you two…fancy a cuppa?” ramb reaches down to grab two teacups for the lovers. instead, they shake their heads and he now knows he’s way in over his. “what, then?”

he’s expected the answer he gets, but he’s still gobsmacked when they say it. “we want to help you!” they say together. they even pump their fists. how dreadful.

”no, please, be a tad louder, i don’t think everyone heard you the first time,” ramb grumbles, folding his arms on the counter. “why does this concern you two so much?”

“oh, come on,” lanino laughs, waving ramb’s comment aside. “everybody knows i’m the best matchmaker here!”

elnina turns to her partner, eyes narrowed in frustration. “hey, no, i’m the best. where’d you even get that idea from?”

great, here they go again. ramb goes back to adjusting the cups as their arguing grows louder. the other patrons of the green room are even starting to take notice, and not just because of the fluctuating temperatures. 

it takes a minute, but the two seem to halt their argument when they notice ramb’s no longer listening. 

“hey, ramb, just let us help you, pal,” lanino says. 

“yeah,” elnina chimes, “so you can decide for us who’s the better matchmaker!”

“why don’t you two focus on yourselves, first?” ramb can’t help but say, watching as their formally linked arms are now elbowing one another. “you two have enough issues. don’t need me causing another argument.”

not to mention, he’s getting the sneaking suspicion this isn’t coming from a place of compassion towards him nor tenna. maybe it’s a way to keep the both of them distracted? 

“we’re not arguing!” they both reply. the flames on lanino’s shoulders flare, and elnina’s clouds grow stormy again. 

“right then, you don’t need me causing another not-argument.” ramb shrugs. he finishes organizing the cups with a clink of finality and gives them his full attention once again. “but really, now. this is going to accomplish piss all.”

“there’s nothing wrong with trying to get at least a little something going, though,” elnina muses, leaning against the counter. “you like him, right? why not see where it goes instead of just looking miserable all the time?”

”that goes for both of you,” lanino tacks on. “ever since that mailman left tenna, he hasn’t been quite the same. surely you’ve noticed.”

“you are the bartender. you get to see everything back there.”

those two drive a hard bargain. but even if there is anything there, he doesn’t want to be someone’s rebound. that was why it didn’t work back then, why they never went beyond just looking behind this very same bar. and even though it’s years later, it won’t work now, either. ramb already knows he’s replaceable to the lightners. plugs? power strips? those are the things that lightners stock up on because they’re so easily lost, second only to office supplies. so he doesn’t need it in a relationship, too. 

…but would tenna really do that? he’s selfish enough, maybe. he’s a masterclass in ignoring others’ feelings in favor of his own, needing to cry louder than all the rest about how he’s been abandoned and has hurt feelings.

ramb hates thinking that way about him, but it truly feels that way. maybe he’s just too hard-headed to take tenna’s behavior as a genuine cry for help. and even then, isn’t that another reason for why he shouldn’t be letting the weather duo persuade him into sharing certain feelings? 

“fine,” he says despite himself. it sounds like he’s even…happy. is he happy? he’s forgotten what it feels like. elnina and lanino are even starting to smile again, and ramb can see the plans formulating behind their sunglasses. “just…don’t talk so loud, and don’t you blokes start your arguing up again. you’re disturbing the other patrons.”

…

somehow, the couple manages to get through a conversation without arguing - for once - but ramb is left more confused than ever. 

he thought they were going to deliver him some sort of divine advice from the way they were boasting about themselves; instead, they just gave him some bullshit “be you, be honest” spiel. guess that’s what he gets for putting vaguely defined trust in a couple that consistently argues.

Chapter Text

once they leave, it’s back to “work,” if it can be called that anymore. he mixes a drink for one of the shuttahs that comes through and slides it across the countertop after they deposit their points in the machine. they thank him but don’t even sit at one of the barstools. that’s the end of his expected service. no spark, no interest. 

and that hasn’t been the case in a while. but part of him wonders if the reason he’s so miserable about it is because elnina pointed it out. he’s used to taking things as they come. he’s used to everything being the same as it ever was. but now it’s getting to him just how lonely, just how monotonous it all is. he works at a fucking bar where he no longer has the luxury of interacting with people even monetarily, counting up change and handing it back and watching them count it to make sure he got it right. everyone around him is a performer, and if they aren’t they’re on the sidelines.

he doesn’t care if or that they dislike him. he doesn’t care if maybe elnina and lanino had been messing around because they were bored in between broadcasts. but he does feel the soul-crushing loneliness that comes with having no one. 

they all have their friends and lovers, after all, and it only exacerbates the feeling. he lost cyber city, but that didn’t hurt because he had kris. then he lost them. and after he lost them, he lost tenna, the only person in tv world who had given him anything close to connection.

the feeling stretches well into the evening as everyone becomes a blur. no one wants a drink; they all walk past, staring at him with their snacks from the vending machine, stage makeup, perfectly steamed outfits. he turns away from them and instead peers at the apron hooks. none of them could have done that for him.

it had to have been tenna.

the only one who, oddly enough, would know exactly how he felt.

he hums the tv time theme to himself as he hears it echo from down the hall. it must be the beginning, or perhaps the end, of some old rerun of tenna’s. regardless of whichever it is, the next time he hears it, it’s much closer…which means the crt is behind him.

and this time,  he  caught him humming.

”oh, you flatter me, ramb,” tenna giggles as he hovers what feels like miles taller than the countertop. it doesn’t help that he’s come in right when ramb’s feeling much smaller than he already is. “it’s been a long time since i’ve heard anyone sing that ol’ thing. other than me, of course!”

“what can i say, it’s catchy.” ramb smiles, though he tries to keep it natural - one of the first things the couple told him. but what’s he supposed to do? unnatural feels natural. “it’s been stuck in my head all day.”

tenna adjusts his tie and sits down on the barstool across from ramb, a sheepish smile on his face. “really?”

”uh, yeah,” ramb replies, rolling up his sleeves after setting a glass on the countertop. “fancy something to drink, mate?”

tenna takes a moment to think about it, and ramb has to wonder why he’d even bother to sitting there if he wasn’t going to order something. but finally, tenna opens up his loud mouth and replies, “i’d be nothing without my usual.” 

“you don’t ‘usually’ come by anymore,” ramb says honestly. “no clue what that is.”

“i’ve been meaning to.” right, because he’s been so busy playing reruns for a nonexistent audience. the tv’s antennas droop as he leans closer to ramb, his “chin” in his hands. “i’ll take some good ol’ fashioned battery acid.”

“nostalgic, aren’t we?” ramb gazes around at the rest of the green room; shuttah’s still here, but other than a few pippinses, it’s almost completely empty. “don’t you have a show to run?”

tenna barks a laugh, sinking lower. ”no, i’m…i’m done today.” 

it’s a tad earlier than usual, but ramb isn’t going to argue. he hurries to the back and rifles through the numerous bottles; they clink together musically as he searches for the right label. a lot of it’s regular wine from a certain mother who shall remain nameless. tenna used to drink wine, too, but he stopped when she started having problems. 

ramb finally finds a whole crate of battery acid buried beneath everything else, and is suddenly hit with the memory of shoving it back there after that one night. trying not to think too hard about it, he grabs a bottle, uncorks it carefully, and brings it out front again. 

tenna’s a normal size by now; still taller than ramb, but not by as much. he takes the glass immediately after ramb pours it and downs it like it’s a shot. he let’s out an exaggerated “blech” before he reaches for the bottle for more. 

“maybe you should let it settle, luv,” ramb says, moving it out of tenna’s reach. elnina and lanino told him to be empathetic, after all, and is this not empathy? 

he supposes the crt thinks so at least. tenna folds his arms on the counter and rests his head on them. it’s quiet for a few minutes, besides the muzak echoing throughout the liminal space. 

“did you like that you could actually reach your apron today?” tenna’s voice buzzes out.

curious. so he really was the one who moved them down, then. “can’t say i didn’t appreciate it.” ramb chuckles, glancing behind him at the hooks. “why did you do it?”

”i came in early a few days ago and saw you jumping to get it.” tenna sighs. “it’s something small - pun  not  intended - but i can’t believe you’ve had to deal with that for years. and i  never  noticed!” he throws up his hands, his teeth grit together. ramb, a little concerned by this turn, tries to reassure him, but tenna interrupts any attempt to. “i know, i know it’s because i walk past you every day and i just never notice. i’m so sorry, ramb.”

”just too bloody tall to know what’s goin’ on down here,” ramb jokes. “can’t see it from your perspective.”

“ha…ha, yeah, you’re right,” tenna laughs along, though it’s definitely forced and his frown only deepens afterward. on second thought, maybe he does need another drink; ramb pours another glass of battery acid, and even pulls out a glass for himself. “it just reminds me that…i don’t have any friends here. i mean, everyone hates me here, ramb, everyone.” 

“oh, surely not everyone. ”

”they don’t even look at me, ramb!” tenna’s shoulders start to tremble. “nobody wants to look at me. it doesn’t matter if i pay them more, or if i make the shows more fun for them to be a part of. they don’t care about any of it. they work their asses off but they don’t do it for me.”

the tv’s animated lips tremble as he takes another swig from the wine glass. ramb still has no idea how it works, but he doesn’t want to get too distracted. “tenna,” ramb sighs, “they’re your employees. they aren’t going to be your friends just because you pay them a wee more.”

“so what, they still aren’t happy.” tenna sets down the glass so hard some of it splashes out and onto the counter, eating away at it. ramb doesn’t bother wiping it up; it just adds more character. “they’ll never be happy if they have nothing to show for all they do.”

by now, everyone has cleared out of the green room; the motion sensing lights have even flickered out, the only lights being the starry string lights on the walls now. and, of course, the glow from tenna. it only makes the green room more liminal, more eerie. more lonely.

”someday the dreemurrs will turn on the tv again,” ramb says, trying to reassure tenna. maybe even the both of them. “there’s so much going on right now that they’ve forgotten.”

they haven’t heard the yelling echo through the green room in a while.

”the damage is done, ramb.” tenna’s display flickers and glitches just enough to be noticeable, bringing the green room with it. “even if they do watch me, and i’m so happy that day, i know they'll have to turn me off again. and that’s what i’m scared of, the next time being the last anyone gives me a good look.”

ramb sighs and gives up any chance of following elnina and lanino’s advice at this point. it’s far from the night for it. tenna just needs a friend, not a bartender. he hoists himself over the counter and sits down next to tenna, still dwarfed by his hulking-yet-shrinking size. he fills his own glass with battery acid and swirls it about so he can watch the glowing beverage turn into a whirlpool. 

“and i’ll be stuck in this hellscape where i don’t even have friends to fall back on, because by the time the tv’s turned back on, i’ll have no one left.” tenna sniffles. “i try to blame everyone else for it, but i know it’s me. it’s me, ramb, it’s me. i’m not too big for my britches to admit it, i’m just scared that i won’t be able to handle hearing it from myself.”

ramb takes another sip of the acid as tenna continues to talk, but what he says hits so hard that he nearly chokes on it. 

“i’ve lost everyone out there.” tenna’s words are already starting to slur. “and now i’ve lost everyone in here…ramb, do you remember how much fun it used to be? how much fun we used to have? helping kris and asriel play those games…we were part of it.”

ramb remembers it all too well. he remembers hearing their laughter echo for hours, and when it was time for their tv nights, they’d switch to a show the whole family could laugh at. kris’ smile was brighter back then. they all smiled brighter back then. even at tenna’s older age, he positively glowed. 

”i miss you, ramb,” tenna murmurs, his display dim. “we always worked together. i miss you. why do you hate me?”

“i don’t,” ramb answers honestly, though he has to pause to hiccup. “i’ve never hated you, luv.”

another sniffle from tenna. ”then why?” 

“don’t get me wrong, i bloody resent you.” ramb lowers his gaze to the countertop, to the acid still melting its way through it. “you always put your concerns over everyone else’s, always cried over everyone else. you know why they stopped watching you an’ stopped playing with all of us, because they’re hurting. an’ really it doesn’t bloody matter how we feel about it.”

regardless of what he’s saying, the tears start pouring forth - acidic, just like the beverage in his hands that’s starting to slip. 

“but if we’re talking about how we feel,” he continues through tears, “tenna, i can’t handle it anymore. i feel myself slipping through the cracks as much as i try not to. that kid was everything to me. i never cared about anything until i had them. everything in the library - everything in cyber city was so cold. i’d be used, replaced, forgotten in the dust. then i had this new friend. this new kid i almost felt like a parent too, stupid as it sounds. and i loved them so much, i felt so responsible for them.” 

the green room is overcast with digital snow. 

“and then their life turned into a nightmare. we all felt it. i felt it. i tried to keep them smiling. i wanted to see it so badly. but the smile they did have wasn’t real, or wasn’t theirs. so mine became the same.” ramb turns to tenna, trying to rid his face of the stupid tears that keep running from his eyes. “how can you sit there and ask me why i hate you when i’m just as miserable as all of you?” he practically shouts. “just because i accept what happened doesn’t mean i don’t care about it. it doesn’t mean that it doesn’t hurt me, tenna. it doesn’t mean that i loved them any fucking less.” 

tenna lowers his head further.

”i miss having friends out there. i miss kris, i miss the family. i miss how things used to be, i miss working with you.” ramb downs the rest of his glass and pours more with shaky hands. “i loved working with you. shit. you were the only one who helped me when i moved here. but it’s all gone pear-shaped.”

finally, the crt speaks up, his voice crackling from his speakers quietly. “gee,” he says, “elnina and lanino told me you had something to tell me. i didn’t think this would be it.”

those two did what and that was how tenna chose to start the conversation? ”w- you’re the one who started whinging the minute you sat down!” ramb hiccups and downs another glass. “fuck’s wrong with you, mate? i was just gonna tell you that i love you an’ now you’ve got me piss drunk n’ prattling about bugger all.” 

“no, no, no, ramb, don’t say that.” tenna reaches across the bar and grabs some napkins. the next thing ramb knows, he’s cupping his face in his big hands, helping wipe away those tears. “i’m sorry i made you cry. i didn’t mean to…’whinge’ or whatever you said, i just- i just heard you humming and it made me nostalgic.”

ramb looks anywhere other than tenna’s screen of a face, instead watching as the snow begins to clear up again. the lights still don’t flicker on, but the starry ones twinkle. “today’s been so hard,” he mumbles, letting tenna destroy as many napkins as he wants as he tries to clean his face. “i wouldn’t have gotten so emotional if those two hadn’t gotten in my head.”

“but you were right earlier,” tenna insists, setting the napkins aside and now just holding ramb’s head. he rubs the freckles in the middle of ramb’s face, where some student doodled on him with pen a long time ago. “you should feel emotional too. i think…maybe, just maybe, you put the others off because you didn’t show obvious emotion towards what happened. that was just another way to set you apart. they thought you felt like you were better.” tenna sighs. “just like they feel towards me.”

because it seems more of a way to empathize, ramb doesn’t mention how tenna brought himself up again. he closes his eyes and leans further into his old friend’s touch. 

“heh…yeah, that’s it. just let it out, ol’ pal.” 

ramb doesn’t even have any tears left to cry, but still he lets tenna think he does, lets tenna hold him close. his warm body buzzes a little. it feels like the breeze ramb felt when he was taken to his new home. so pleasant and full of hope. he hasn’t felt that way in a long time.

”maybe if things can’t be the way they were,” tenna starts after a few minutes, pulling back from the embrace to look at ramb’s old, tired face again. “maybe we can at least try to be here for one another again.”

the display’s brightened again, and tenna’s cheeks are flushed a little pink. ramb can barely tell if it’s because of the battery acid they’ve been drinking or not, but he’s feeling quite flushed in the face as well. he blinks a few times to clear his vision, a few more tears that’d gotten caught dripping down his cheeks. 

“i-“ tenna’s cut off by a hiccup. “-heard what you said earlier, do you remember?” 

“said too much earlier.” ramb reaches for the bottle again and doesn’t even bother pouring it in the glass, just downs it right from the source. “remind me?”

“you said you were trying to tell me you loved me, silly billy,” tenna snickers, his blush growing. “i would’ve been flattered if you weren’t yelling at me. somebody loves tv around here!”

”oh, bollocks,” ramb swears, a little miffed that he’d let that slip during a breakdown. or at all. but there’s no coming back from it now, so he just chuckles awkwardly, too drunk to feel properly embarrassed. “not that i was lying. but i don’t want the reason to be because we’re lonely.”

”we are lonely,” tenna replies, wiping away ramb’s remaining tears with his thumb. “but part of the reason’s because we don’t have each other - at least, for me.” tenna tilts his head. “why would you say you love me just because you’re lonely?” 

“hell if i know,” ramb replies with a groan. today’s been so confusing for him. but not enough that he wishes it hadn’t happened. “all i know’s that i do. and if you might feel the same way, i’d like to do something more than just stare at you like we did last time we got this drunk.”

the crt’s antennas curl inwards, almost into a heart shape, and ramb can’t help but snort at how ridiculous it is. he looks up at tenna’s large head and takes it in his own hands, watching as he progressively gets more and more flustered.

“do you want to kiss me, mr. ant tenna?” 

“boy, do i!” tenna stutters excitedly, before leaning in and nearly poking ramb’s eye out.

”ah, ah, watch the nose, luv,” ramb chides. he may be drunk, but he doesn’t want his eye poked out. 

”sorry, sorry!” tenna giggles. “i’ve just been waiting for this.”

”just how long have you been waiting for this?” ramb chuckles as well, trying to lean in again and missing his mark, nearly pitching forward off the stool. 

“ramb, careful!” tenna catches him before he can. he’s still all smiles. maybe it’s just because they’re both drunk. ramb wishes they could have done this sober, but accepts that this was the only way he would’ve been able to be honest. “i don’t know how long. but it’s been a while. before the first time, i know- mmmph!”

there’s literal sparks when they kiss, and ramb feels tenna’s smile grow impossibly wider. he can’t say his own doesn’t either. 

the green room feels pleasantly warm for the rest of the night as they continue to talk - and the next day, even though ramb’s tired (not to mention hungover) when he opens up shop, tenna stops by for a nice cup of coffee and a chat and wipes most of the sluggishness away.

things aren’t going to be perfect right off the bat, and ramb knows it. but at least, for once, maybe they will be better.