Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

(Sero’s P.O.V.)

  Deku had invited Ochako, Kirishima, Tsu, Bakugo, Mina, Denki, Jiro, Hagakure, Mineta, Iida, Todoroki, Tokoyami, Yaoyorozu and me to go to his house after school, for the long 5-day after-exam weekend, to have some relaxation after the exams.

  We walked along the sidewalk outside our school, chatting and chillin’ like always, excited for the sleepover at Deku’s.

  As they were walking, Deku waved to a blonde girl waiting on the sidewalk, saying, “Hey Miu!”.  

  “Woah broccoli, you finally found some friends! I never thought this day would come!” The girl, Miu apparently, gasped.

  “They’re my classmates-“

  “You’re still friendless, too bad.”

  “Anyways…They’re going to be at our house for the entire long weekend.” Deku explained.

  “I know, I heard the announcement.” Miu said.

  “So try to be nice, at least,” Deku kind of pleaded.

  “Too bad, so sad, dummy. Like I will,” Miu made a face at Deku.

  “Hey broccoli, did you finally get a girlfriend?” A boy ran up to them. He had black hair with purple ends and a checkered scarf.

  “No, of course not, Deku’s probably too much of a loser to get one,” Miu replied.

  “I-“

  “Deku is a nerdy loser, what did you think?” Bakugo roasted Deku in one second.

  “…Basically, I invited them-not my girlfriend, Kokichi-to sleepover at our house.” Deku explained again.

  “You know broccoli, you’ve been suspiciously frequently talking about a certain Ochako Uraraka, do you have anything to say for yourself?” Kokichi, the purple-haired boy interrogated him.

  “I don’t-“, Deku started to say, but his words were cut off suddenly as his eyes turned blank.

  “You’re so dumb, Deku!,” Kokichi smirked at his empty expression. “So, now that I have you under my control, tell me who your girlfriend is. Don’t worry, I’ll be recording as you say it.” He took out his phone.

  “My… girlfriend… is…,” Deku hesitated for a second, like he was struggling with the urge of saying it, but finally he gave in. “Ochako.”

  “I SHIP IT!” Someone said, probably Mina.

  “See? That wasn’t so hard!” Deku’s eyes returned to normal.

  “Our brother finally isn’t single! Someone likes a nerd like him!” Miu screamed in fake disbelief.

  “Excuse me, but did you just say brother?” Iida asked Miu politely (as usual) as they started walking again.

  “You didn’t know? Broccoli bozo here has 16 siblings, and he never told you? He’s probably ashamed of that bimbo and the space idiot that he has as siblings.” Kokichi shrugged.

  “Hey! Who are you calling a bimbo, you piece of garbage?” Miu retorted.

  “Are you two fighting again?!” Another blonde girl came up to them. She had small musical note clips in her hair, which were pretty cool. She was followed by a blue-haired boy who was wearing a black cap. 

  “You should’ve been here just now, I just exposed Deku’s crush!” Kokichi told the girl.

  “You used your quirk on him again, didn’t you?” The blue-haired boy said.

  “You know I would never do that!” Kokichi gasped, acting offended.

  “You would.”

  “I wouldn’t!”

  “Then why would Izuku tell you?” 

  “I dunno, ‘cause he’s dumb?”

  “The bus is here, just get on.” Miu cut into their debate.

  “Why did Mom call the big bus to pick us up? There’s only 5 of us.” The blonde girl asked no one in particular.

  “We’re going to your house for the weekend, Deku invited us!” Kirishima answered.

  “Oh! So you are Izuku’s classmates?” The blue-haired boy said. “Anyways, nice to meet you, I’m Shuichi and she is Kaede, those two are Miu and Kokichi, we’re Izuku’s siblings.”

  “Hi! I’m Ochako-“

  “Deku’s girlfriend.” Kokichi quipped.

  “Don’t be rude!” Kaede chided him.

  “What? It’s the truth!” Kokichi innocently stated.

  A pause followed.

  “What’s their ship name then?” Mina asked, sounding really eager.

  “Izuocha sounds good!” Tsu suggested.

  “Shipping your classmates is very disrespectful! Stop it right now!” Iida karate-chopped the air.

  “Let’s just change the topic. By the way, Shuichi, what did you mean Kokichi ‘used his quirk’ on Midoriya just now, what is his quirk?” Jiro asked to break the awkwardness.

  Deku replied this time, “His quirk is like Shinso’s, he can control what I do if I answer his insults even remotely,” Deku sighed. “He’s pretty much extracted all my secrets already.”

  “That’s… depressing.” Tokoyami reacted.

  Then we rode in silence.

  We arrived at Deku’s house a while later, very much not expecting a 30-storey mansion, with a giant garden area with a marble fountain and an outdoor swimming pool.

  “Deku’s so rich…” Mina gasped, “His house is bigger than Yaoyorozu’s!”

  “I make money like everyday, we could easily buy another one of these.” Miu bragged.

  “What kind of job does that?” Denki asked.

  “I don’t work! I’m basically a salary machine!” A stack of money suddenly appeared in Miu’s hand as she was talking. “My quirk is Creation, I can easily create money to sustain 18 people.” 

  “That’s the same as mine!” Yaoyorozu said. “But how could you just make money! It’s bad for the economy!” 

  “Like I care!” Miu said rebelliously. 

  “Then what are your quirks, Shuichi and Kaede?” I asked out of curiosity.

  “My quirk is Music Wave,” Kaede replied, “I can manipulate emotions with my music. I can play a lot of instruments but I specialise in piano music, would you like to hear it sometime?”

  “Of course!” Ochako smiled.

  “What about you, Shuichi?” Kirishima asked.

  “Uh… my quirk is called Lie Detector, it’s just the ability to tell if people are lying or not. To be honest, it’s kind of useless.” Shuichi answered.

  “Like that detective that’s friends with All Might!” Ochako said. “That’s so cool!”

  “Did nerdy Deku infect you with All Might knowledge? You’re also a fan now?!” Bakugou scowled.

  “Let’s go inside now!” Kaede said, stepping inside the building.

  We all stepped inside the house/building, and saw a living room that occupied a half of the entirety of the first floor (the other half was the kitchen). A huge couch was placed in the back, with a large table in front and a 75 inch TV. A dining area was positioned next to the equally large kitchen.

  Deku’s mom was in the kitchen washing a big pile of dishes with another teenage girl that they had never seen before. She looked back after hearing the door open.

  “Welcome, Izuku’s classmates! Make yourselves at home.” She smiled at us.

  The girl also turned around. She had light green hair and green eyes, and she was wearing a maid outfit and was helping Deku’s mom with dishes. “Hello, I’m Kirumi, nice to meet you all, I assume you are Izuku’s classmates.

  “Let’s go to my room,” Deku led us and his siblings to an elevator (what kind of house has an elevator :O), and pressed ‘up’.

  The elevator doors opened and there was an elevator panel with 30 LEVELS!!! Deku pressed ‘13’, Kaede pressed ‘10’, Shuichi ‘9’, Miu ‘6’ and Kokichi pressed every single floor.

  “Do you have to press everything every single time?” Miu confronted Kokichi.

  “Yes. Also bye! Have fun going to every floor!” Kokichi smirked and left the elevator on the 3rd floor.

  After everyone other than Deku and us left, we started gaping at the fact that Deku has an ELEVATOR in his house.

  “Dude, you live on the 13th floor?! That’s literally higher than my apartment!” Kirishima said incredulously. 

  “My mom lives on the 20th floor,” Deku said casually.

  Silence followed.

  We arrived at the 13th floor a few seconds later, which was pretty normal EXCEPT for the series of All Might figurines, all lined up on the shelves like prized possessions.

  Bakugou reacted first, “What the hell Deku, why do you love All Might so much that you HAVE to put it on every inch of wall in your room.”

  Deku tried to cover up the figurines (wayyyy too late), justifying himself by saying, “He’s the number 1 pro hero, of course he’s my role model.”

  “Whatever…”, Bakugo scoffed.

  Hagakure spoke up, “Anyways, when are we going to say how awesome Midoriya’s room looks?”

  Ochako smiled, “This is honestly the best room I have ever seen! I love the layout and the furniture!”

  Deku looked kinda embarrassed, “W-well… now you can have a look around.”

  Me and Kirishima immediately went over to see his posters, which were (disappointingly) all of All Might, although Kirishima insisted that one of the All Mights looked super manly.

  A voice suddenly rang from the elevator’s direction, “Deku! Why are there so many degenerate males in your room? I could hear noises on the 5th floor!”

  We all turned around to see who was talking, it was a girl with long, looping hair that was tied back with a hair tie shaped like a leaf. 

  Deku sighed, replying, “They’re my classmates, Tenko, and they’re visiting my house for the long weekend.” 

  The black-haired girl, Tenko, stepped out of the elevator, screaming, “At least, you could’ve told us first!”

  “That would be a disaster,” Deku stated. 

  Before Tenko could say anything, a speaker from who knows where blared a message: Lunch is served, please make your way to the dining area. 

  Tenko gave Deku a punch-you-in-the-guts-later glare and stepped into the elevator, the others following her inside.

  We reached the first floor, going back to the dining area. There were already 16 people there, many of which we didn’t know, including Deku’s mom.

  “Who are you all?” A guy with eggplant-coloured hair asked us.

  “We’re Deku’s classmates, and we’re here for the long weekend.” Ochako explained.

  “Settle down everyone,” Deku’s mom said, trying to calm everyone down. “We are going to do some introductions.”

  Everyone sat down around the huge table covered in food.

  “Now everyone can introduce themselves,” Deku’s mom said. “They are going to be here for 5 days.”

  “I’m De-“

  “Everyone knows, you dummy.” Bakugou interrupted Deku’s introduction.

  “Anyway, I’m Kaito,” the boy with eggplant hair said. 

  “I’m Rantaro,” A guy with light green hair and a deep voice said.

  “Kirumi, nice to meet you,” the girl they had seen inside the kitchen when they came in said.

  The introductions went on until we all knew each other. [pretend they know each other’s names I don’t wanna yap intros for 500 words]

  After all of that, Mineta asked Deku’s mom with a look of incomprehensible evil, “Who are we going to sleep with? In the same bed…”

  “Ewwwww, you’re disgusting!” Miu exclaimed at that quote.

  “You’re not going to be sleeping with anyone,” Mineta’s face of disappointment was priceless as Deku’s mom explained the arrangements. “You’re going to be sleeping in the extra guest rooms at my sister’s kids’ house.”

  “So… who exactly?” Denki asked, completely lost.

  “Basically my siblings’ house.” Deku answered.

  “YOU HAVE MORE SIBLINGS?!” The entire class (well almost) screamed.

  “We have 15 more.” Deku said.

  “WHAT?!” The entire class again (not including Iida) screamed.

  “L-let’s have a tour, okay?” Deku suggested, kind of overwhelmed.

  We followed him into the basement, located far back in the kitchen. Inside was a lot of gear and other stuff that you occasionally use. There were also 5 cars.

  “You have so many cars!” Hagakure gushed. “You’re SERIOUSLY rich!”

  “It’s nothing, as long as Miu’s making money and my other siblings are working, we can easily afford it.” Deku said.

  We went through a door, and-Deku, who was in front, got pied in the face. It was kind of-no scratch that-extremely hilarious for some reason. 

  “Did you just fall for a booby trap?” Tsu said, the most straightforward in the group.

  After that, the entirety of the Bakusquad (except Bakugou) started laughing at cream-face Deku.

  “Who’s there?” A voice spoke up from somewhere.

  We all turned around, trying to find the source of the voice. Suddenly, we heard the sound of a gun cocking. We spun towards the sound, just in time to see a knife flying right towards them. 

  “DUCK!” Kirishima screamed. We followed in pursuit. The knife impaled a car window, and then it exploded. Bullets started raining on us.

  “We-are-Deku’s-classmates-please-don’t-kill-us!” Mina yelled, trying to make them stop firing.

  “Oh. Okay, stop the attacks.” Another voice said.

  “You people are making too much noise! I’m trying to study!” A third voice screamed from another room.

  “Does it sound like I care?” A fourth person spoke.

  We came out of our hiding place, kinda scared.

  “Come out! It’s Deku!” Deku said.

  After a few seconds of mystery sounds, the first voice spoke up again, “Nakamura, stop changing my clothes! You already did that at school!”

  “Have fun, Nagisa, bye!” Someone else said. After that, a blonde girl stood up from the staircase and retreated back up the stairs.

  After a while, slowly, 3 kids emerged from their hiding spots.

  A short, blue-haired girl approached first from the crook behind the basement door, saying, “Hi, Midoriya’s classmates, you’re sleeping here today, right? Nice to meet you, I’m Nagisa.”

  A girl holding a rifle also approached, coming out from behind the couch. Her eyes still looked a bit wary, hand on the trigger. “I’m Hayami,” she briefly said.

  A red-haired boy came up from under the staircase, swinging a knife between his fingers. “Hey Deku’s classmates, I’m Karma,” he said. “Nice to meet you,” He outstretched his hand.

  “No! Don’t-“ Deku tried to warn us but to no avail. Denki had already stepped forward and reached out Karma’s hand. I saw a flash of metal in his palm as he took Denki’s hand. 

  “We’re having guests, don’t scare them,” Nagisa grabbed his hand from the backside, restraining it. “Put the knife away, Karma, they can’t regenerate themselves like Koro-sensei can.”

  “Fine, at least I got to see Deku getting pied,” Karma sighed.

  “Can you stop making so much noise, I’m trying to study and I can hear your ruckus in the study hall.” A strawberry blonde boy complained from the staircase.

  “For your information, we were welcoming our new guests,” Hayami said. “The least you could do was put down your exercise books to say hi.”

  “My grades are most important,” The boy said. “Much more important than some bunch of fools that I shouldn’t be spending my precious time on.” 

  “Sorry for Gakushu's rudeness, tomorrow’s his test day and he has to get number 1 for basically everything,” Nagisa apologised for the boy, Gakushu. 

  “Unlike the rest of us, he has expectations and will mentally kill himself if he falls short of them by even a point,” Karma said. “His breakdown last year was epic, and when he got roasted by Gakuho for being second in the grade, the look on his face was priceless.” 

  Footsteps could be heard as someone else rushed down the staircase.

  “I heard a girl!” 

  “Bet they’re pretty. And full-chested!”

  “This is our chance to get some chicks!”

  Two boys ran down the staircase, talking about girls, pushing Gakushu out of the way on the way. 

  “Heyyyy hot chicks, fancy grabbing some dinner together?” One of them said, twerking his eyebrows like a creep.

  We were speechless. 

  “No one’s interested. Can we move on? Thank you.” Nagisa ushered them out of the room. She turned back to them, “So you’re sleeping here. Would you want to sleep in the multi-purpose rooms or would you like to sleep with some of us?”

  “Sleeping by ourselves feels lonely,” Kirishima said. “I wanna sleep with one of you.”

  “Ok then, I’m going to call the others down.” Nagisa picked up a kind of intercom machine thingy and pressed the button, saying, “Everyone, please go down to the living room immediately.” 

  A while later, 7 more people came down, some from the elevator and some from the stairs.

  “What is it?” A girl with dark purple hair asked. 

  “We have guests, they’re Midoriya classmates,” Nagisa explained. “They want to sleep with us so I guess we sort that out?”

  “Who wants to read porn magazines in my room!” A boy with black hair in a butch cut.

  “Me!” Denki and Mineta immediately screamed at the same time.

  “We can only accommodate two people in one room, since we only have two beds, so…” Nagisa said, disrupting their sexy desires.

  “I have porn too. Even better, I have a pornhub account to watch stuff like that.” Another boy with white hair and a light purple bandanna said.

  “Pornhub?!” Denki screamed. “That’s like the BEST THING EVER!”

  Nothing happened for a moment.

  “Who is the most disciplined person here? I would not prefer any disruptions in my room.” Gakushu said.

  Everyone pointed to our class-rep —— Iida.

  “Then you’re with me. I’m going back to my room to continue studying.” Gakushu said, turning back to the stairs.

  “Is there a problem with him?” Denki whispered to me.

  “Probably.” I replied

  “Anyone here have some hot tea?” Mina asked, probably wanting to have some “girl gossip time” with whoever did.

  “I do, and I will spill, including all the love stories in this house!” A girl with long blonde hair said. 

  “Perfect!” Mina exclaimed.

  “Whoever is the most aggressive in your bunch, go room with Terasaka. I’m sure he would like an aggravated shouting match.” Karma suggested.

  “No I wouldn’t!” A boy with spiky brown and blonde hair —— Terasaka said.

  “Bakugo~ You’ve been summoned to share a room with this guy.” I teased Bakugo, who looked really angry (basically his normal mood).

  “SHUT UP!” Bakugo screamed before hurling an explosion toward me.

  I dodged it from experience, and it destroyed the wall left to us.

  I was pretty sure Midoriya’s siblings were about to kick us out of the house.

  Iida immediately started apologising, using hand chops to emphasise how sorry we were (it was evident on Bakugo’s face that he didn’t really care).

  But it apparently didn’t matter, since they assured us that Kirumi could revert it back to normal (as in without the burn marks and black charred spots and the gaping hole).

  “Let’s just proceed, I don’t really mind who I’m rooming with anyways so whoever doesn’t mind can join me.” Nagisa said, prominently ignoring the hole in the wall.

  I didn’t really care too so I got paired up with her.

  “I don’t really mind either, though I’d rather my roommate be a girl.” Jiro said, twirling her earphone jacks.

  “I could be your roommate,” A girl with light purple hair suggested. “I’m Ritsu, by the way.” 

  “Cool.” Jiro said, pairing with her.

  “Who is the most manly person? I want to room with a real man!” Kirishima said.

  “I mean, I play baseball-“ a blue-haired boy started.

  “BASEBALL’S SO MANLY!” Kirishima screamed in awe.

  “If you don’t mind living in a partially-broken room, you could be roommates with our dirt-poor resident, Isogai.” Karma stated.

  “I don’t mind, I come from a rich family anyway.” Momo paired herself with Isogai, a black-haired boy (that kind of looked like me hair wise).

  “Whoever is paired with Karma should have a higher tolerance for violence and pranks that are harmFUL.” Terasaka said, probably trying to make a comeback.

  “I nominate Todoroki!” Hagakure yelled. “He’s the most indifferent person I’ve ever met.”

  “I agree!” Denki agreed.

  “I guess it’s settled.” Karma said.

  Ochako smiled, “The only requirement I have for my roommate and room is that they're not really aggressive or unkind and the room could at least be kind of comfortable.”

  “I meet those requirements; and my room isn't that uncomfortable, probably.” said a boy with orange and blonde hair.

  “Someone more dark and serious should be Tokoyami’s roommate, we all know his preferences.” Ochako said.

  “Hayami is perfect for that, she's stoic and professional.” Ritsu said, pointing to the girl with the rifle.

  “I have pudding in my room! Who wants some?” A green-haired girl asked cheerfully.

  “That sounds good, I’m in!” Hagakure exclaimed.

  “Who’s left? I can pair up with anyone.” Tsu said.

  “If you don’t mind the experiments I’m having in my room, we could pair up.” The girl with dark purple hair said.

  “Sure.” Tsu agreed.

  We stood in awkward silence for five seconds before Deku said something, “Everyone has their own rooms now right? We can split up and check out our new rooms.” 

  After everyone agreed, we went to our respective rooms, to chill.

Chapter Text

(Mina’s P.O.V.)

  I followed the girl—who’s name I later learned to be Nakamura—up to her room, which was pretty simply laid out, not a lotta things that were out of ordinary, until you looked under the bed.

  “Look at this!” Nakamura exclaimed, shoving a photo in front of me. “That’s Nagisa and that’s Kayano.”

  It was a photo of Nagisa and the green-haired girl, Kayano, kissing.

  “Oh my god! They’re lesbian?” I screamed. 

  “Yeah, I know right!” She agreed. [Omg, what are you doing, agreeing that Nagisa’s female *evil smirk*] “They look really into it too, both of them!”

  “When did she do this? Did they break up or something? They don’t look that attracted to each other now.” I asked, realising how unobvious the ship was downstairs. 

  “Nah they’re still going, Karma and I made Kayano give Nagisa chocolates on Valentine's Day, it was great!” She grinned at the memory. “Trust me, they’re just not that in love on the outside, but on the inside…” 

  “…they’re basically like a married couple!” I finished.

  “Yass! Exactly!” She cried.

  “Does anyone else in this house know?” I asked.

  “Of course!” She responded. “We go to the same school, except for baseball guy Sugino, free electricity Ritsu, already-adult Hayami and dirt-poor Isogai. They literally kissed at school!”

  “Who’s your teacher, wouldn’t he be qualified enough to stop them?” I questioned, with Mr Aizawa’s seriousness and tolerance in mind.

  “Oh he’s totally cool with this. In fact, he enjoys it, porn-lover.” She replied.

  “That’s disgusting, so you have a Mineta clone as a teacher? Like the small pervert with the grape hair.” I commented.

  “Pretty much like that.” 

  “O…k?” 

  “Well then, let’s just change the subject. What’s Gakushu studying so hard for?” I added.

  “He has some kind of quirk test or exam, eh, he’s probably going to ace it anyways, I don’t know why he wants to study so much.” Nakamura shrugged.

  “What’s his quirk, it’s not a trash one right? If it was, I would understand why he's freaking out. ” I asked.

  “He has two quirks-” My gasp interrupted her explanation. [Props to my other friend for this new cool idea :)] 

  “I've never heard of anyone having multiple quirks! It's probably a new phenomenon in the world.” I said with amazement. [Todoroki isn’t, quirk marriages are different, now shut up >:)]

  “Karma has two too, it’s kind of a thing in the universe I guess.” She said.

  “One of them is a kind of ice quirk, he can create and manipulate it. It’s a pretty nice quirk too; his second is ‘IQ’, it makes him super smart, like after he drinks coffee. So I don’t know what he’s so stressed out about.” She replied. “He’s kind of weird.”

  “Agreed.” I stated. “What about yours?”

  “I can mimic people’s voices, and manipulate people with my impersonations.” She said, “It comes in handy when I want to force gossip outta people.”

  “That’s so cool! Mine’s acid, I can make it and touch it without any consequences.” I explained.

  “Nice! Anyways, you want to hear more hot tea! I have an entire book about just that!”

———————————————————————

(Mineta’s P.O.V.) 

  Me and my roommate, Okajima, were immersed in porn magazines for almost an hour, looking and drooling over the pictures of naked and big-boobed women.

  After that, we continued to watch secret clips that Okajima took of the girls in the house when they were changing with an embedded camera in the wall, which was recording 24/7. It was a great scene to feast on despite the fact that there were only 4 girls with juicy boobs.

——[sue me idk how to write more for him]——

(Iida’s P.O.V.)

  I searched around for a few minutes before finding Gakushu’s room.

  After stepping inside, I surveyed my surroundings: Rows and rows of trophies were lined up on the shelves mounted up on the wall, all displayed like prized possessions. On the far corner,  there was a basic bed and a few everyday necessities on a small bedside table. The rest of the room, which was about a ninth of it, was Gakushu’s study area, in which a long table reached from one wall to another. File after file was crammed beside each other, filling a wardrobe-sized bookshelf to the brim. A pencil and pen holder was tacked up to the side of the shelf, filled up with brand-ordered pens and colour-coded highlighters. 

  Gakushu himself was sitting in a work chair at the corner of the table, with a few books open and clipped to stands. He was writing notes on [insert something that a middle schooler would study, probably something like biology or anatomy]. I assumed he would not like my disturbance, leaving greetings to later times.

  I opened my homework books and started on the homework that had been assigned by our teachers. 

———————————————————————

(Jiro’s P.O.V.)

  Ritsu led me to her room, all the while having some small talk.

  “So, how’s your stay been?” She asked me as we were on the stairs.

  “So-so I guess. The size of your house and Midoriya’s house was kind of surprising, but nothing else really stuck out other than that, but it’s still pretty enjoyable.” I replied.

  “Nice to know you’ve been enjoying it!” She exclaimed. “By the way, I’ve also been accepted into UA next year for my 3rd year!”

  “That’s awesome!” I tried to sound excited. “What’s your quirk?”

  “Electrification,” She answered. “It’s an electric type quirk.”

  My mind immediately went to Denki’s “stupid” face. 

  “Do you-perhaps-have any effects when you overuse your quirk?” I asked cautiously.

  “I ‘power out’, so I basically black out. But it doesn’t happen as long as I don’t reach my watt limit.” She said.

  At least it’s not an idiot like him. “That’s cool.”

  We reached her room, it wasn’t really cluttered or decorated, just a simple bed and shelves all around with different things on them. It was okay.

  I sat down on the guest bed, it was comfortable and soft. At least that was that.

  I opened up Spotify and plugged in one of my jacks, trying to listen to my “Liked Songs”, but apparently I needed WiFi for it.

  This would be a long weekend.

——————————————————————— 

(Kirishima’s P.O.V.)

  My roommate (the manly baseball player), Sugino and I went to his room.

  His room was decorated with many baseball merchandise [idk? I’m not a manly person], and besides that there was the typical bed and the everyday nightstand and the average connected bathroom and the normal hundred-inch TV [wait what.]. The whole place felt like a hotel room, the top level ones. 

  We sat down on the bed first, potentially pondering how to make a good first impression (at least I was!). 

  He spoke up first. “You want to…uh…play baseball outside together?”

  “Yeah sure!” I agreed. “But we need a minimum of 7 people to play, right?”

  “I can call someone from the other house.” He suggested picking up his phone (his phone case was manly too!), opening up WhatsApp and texting in (probably) his family group chat. 

  Immediately someone called “Luminary of the stars” replied, saying yes and accepting the invitation.

  A while after they replied, another person, named “Blood and murder” (such a manly name!) answered, agreeing to it too, saying that they would bring their new roommate over too. 

  I thought of the idea to message my friends, so I opened the chat group “The 4 dorks and the Bakugo” which was a chat group for the Bakusquad (me, Kamibro, Sero, Mina and Bakubro). 

  “Who wants to go play baseball tgt outside?” I typed.

  Almost instantly, Bakubro answered, “I WOULD NEVER WITH YOU EXTRAS.” (For some reason his keyboard is always on full caps.).

  Sero also answered, saying that he would like to join us. Kamibro’s response soon followed [ain’t no way I’m writing another pervert chapter], agreeing too.

  After a while of “recruiting”, Sugino and I went outside, where we could easily see the other house. The outside of this house had a garden and a basketball/ volleyball/ badminton/ tennis/ football/ dodgeball/ and finally baseball court, the different lines marked in different colours on the court. A few plastic containers were beside it, filled with balls [that totally doesn’t sound sexy] and rackets. 10 people were already there, including Sero and Kamibro. 

  I walked over to them, who were chatting with Isogai and Karma, who were playing too. 

  “Hey bro! I got your invite, nice!”  Denki said enthusiastically.

  “There’s gonna be a hell of a match today! Better get ready!” I commented.

  “We’re totally going to crush you, that’s a statement.” Karma said with his devilish smirk.

  “I guess we’ll see!” I said, with a challenging grin.

  ———————————————————————

(Denki’s P.O.V.) 

  “We will be playing in two teams, which will be randomly drawn. In this game, you can freely use your quirks and abilities, and illegal methods of play are allowed.” Sugino explained the rules. [I’m reading an AI overview to understand baseball and I don’t. :) whatever I give up, sue me if I make a mistake.]

  I got teamed up with  Kaito, Isogai, Kirishima, Todoroki, and Sero. We had 30 minutes to discuss what to do and plan the game. We were the pitching team for the first inning [??], and we had planned it like this: Kirishima - pitcher; Sero - catcher; Kaito, Isogai, Todoroki and me - infielder; and we threw the out-what role. 

  After 30 minutes, we went out onto the field, where the other team already was. Kirishima got into position, and Sero readied his tape to catch the ball. Me and Kaito stood close to first base ready to tag the batter - Deku. 

  Kirishima threw, making a nice start with a slow pitch that would make Sero catch it easily (illegally with tape), earning Deku an out. His teammate - Maehara stared at him from the sidelines, probably thinking “Oh my god. Why did I get teamed up with him?”

  Deku got switched out by Sugino, and the next inning started. Kirishima did another strategy, fastballing. Kirishima hardened up, putting all his strength into that one throw. Sero shot out a meter of tape. 

  The ball went soaring through the air, and… Sugino places the bat in front of him and… BUNTS! [this is the only thing I know :)] 

  Kirishima and I stared at Sugino, mind blown by how he just bunted a fastball. Meanwhile, as we were staring like morons, Sugino was flying to first base. Kaito’s screams snapped me back to reality, making me remember that we were in a game that didn’t have rules. Sugino rushed towards first base, which was loosely guarded. 

  But before he could get close, he suddenly disappeared. 

Chapter Text

(Todoroki’s P.O.V.)

  Kirishima, Sero and Denki gaped at the black hole that casually appeared on the floor. 

  “HE’S DEAD!” Denki [forever the idiot :)] screamed.

  “CALL 911!” Someone else hollered at the people on the side.

  Kirishima immediately started to dial 911, frantically telling the dispatcher that his classmate’s brother had just died. 

  Other than him, no one else moved to get their phones, at least they had the sanity to not panic. 

  The dispatcher was probably freaking out too, from Kirishima’s questionable attitude and predicament.  

  “I’m right here.” Sugino’s voice came from behind us, scaring Denki to death and causing Kirishima to drop his phone. “You didn’t know you could use quirks? Why’re you freaking out?”

  “Who’s quirk was that?” Sero asked. 

  “Mine, it’s ‘cosmic energy’,” Kaito replied. “I can make black holes to do stuff like teleporting people and trapping people.”

  “But it’s not going to…kill us….right?” Kirishima said, picking up his phone and hanging up on a very confused dispatcher and eyeing the pulsating blob of ominous darkness. 

  “Nah, it’s going to disappear in a few seconds, this one shouldn’t be a threat, it’s built for teleportation, which was what happened to Sugino just now.” Kaito assured them.

  “I think we need an explanation of all our quirks first, before we play… it’s kind of hard when we’ll literally think that a player’s dead.” Sero suggested.

  “Yeah sure!” Sugino stopped the match, forming a “T” with his hands [which doesn’t even mean anything], and gesturing for the other player to come.

  “We need a quirk explanation before we play. Uh…I’ll start.” Sugino said. “My quirk is Straight Throw, anything that I throw with my hands will hit its intended target. The only downside is that I can't make the ‘thing’ go through walls or other solid materials.” 

  We all took turns to say our quirks.

  Isogai had “Prince Charming” [blame Kayano or Maehara or whatever for saying that, not my problem], which meant he could make anyone who he smiled at immediately calm down and stop attacking, it was pretty useful in battle, but not in usual life. 

  Itona had “Hair Appendage” [I know it sounds disgusting :)], meaning he could move the tentacles embedded between his hair freely, using them to entangle or even choke enemies.

  Karma had two quirks, (how is that even possible?) one of them was “Transform”, which was Toga’s quirk, and it made him able to transform into anyone as long as he had their blood. His second one was “IQ” [like Gakushu], and let him increase his intelligence when he drank…strawberry milk…[so that's where his strawberry milk obsession comes from *gasp*]. 

  Maehara had “Emoji”, which let him influence the emotions of other people. That’s it.

  “Let’s start again, shall we?” Sugino suggested. “Restart?”

  Then the fire alarm started ringing.

———————————————————————

(Tsu’s P.O.V.)

  I stayed in my roommate-Okuda’s-room for a while, watching as her experiments (put out on the side of the room) bubble and slosh around. It was a pretty hazardous thing to be in a room, as one of the beakers on the table was foaming over and spilling onto the table, sparking and sizzling through the table, it was probably acid.

  A few glass bottles were allotted to a shelf specifically designed for test tubes. The labels read: Ricin, VX, Arsenic, Botulinum toxin, amatoxin, Cyanide, Lead, Dimethylmercury, Sarin, Soman, Tabun, Batrachotoxin, Belladonna, Thallium, Radium, Maitotoxin and Polonium-210. As far as I knew, those were all poison. [Don’t ask me why I know so many poisons, I can’t let you know my assassination scheme. Pls don’t report me to the poison control Center.] 

  A 3-D periodic table was set off on the side, with real elements inside. The unstable ones were contained in orbs.

  A few experiment ideas were written on a pad on paper, which was also on the table. The spitting sparks from the corrosive acid were flung everywhere, making black charred holes in the paper.

  As the acid overflowed, a pool of it melted through the paper, igniting a small blaze. It quickly spread to every corner of the sheet of paper, further sinking into the wood of the table, alighting the table and engulfing it in flames. 

  I looked around, looking for a fire extinguisher, but nothing was available (if you’re going to make explosive explosives in your room, why don’t you have a fire extinguisher). I called 911 instead. 

  “Hello, this is the 911 emergency service control centre, what is your emergency?” The dispatcher said as usual.

  “There’s a fire in my room-actually my borrowed room-and it’s spreading really quickly.” I watched as the fire inched toward all sides of the room, slithering through the carpet like a snake.

  “What is your address and phone number?” They asked.

  I didn’t know so I rushed out of the room, pulling the fire alarm while screaming, “Can anyone hear me?!”

  The alarm started blaring.

  A man’s voice sounded from the speaker. “Please stay calm and retreat to the outside gym room. Bring along your phone, a wet towel, the keys to this house and most importantly your credit card. The address is 8 Shinano Province, 231-0017. The phone number is 045-827-1111. That’s for anyone who wants to call emergency services.” [Do not call the phone number, I generated it and it is fake. Maybe.]

  “8 Shinano Province, 231-0017. 045-827-1111.” I answered the dispatcher while rushing down the stairs, dragging my luggage with me.

  “We’ll send a few fire trucks to the scene, stay calm and go outside.” The call ended.

  The others were also going down, I caught a glimpse of Ochako and her roommate at some point. On the first floor, I saw Kirishima, Denki, Sero and Todoroki with some of the others. 

  “Is this an actual fire? Or is it a drill, if it was I would be pissed.” Kirishima asked me.

  “There’s a real fire up there, chemical reaction.” I responded.

  “Oh. My. God. WE’RE GONNA DIE!” Denki screamed. 

  “I already called 911, they’re going to be here soon.” I tried to console him.

  “WE’RE STILL GONNA DIE!” Denki pressed.

  “SHUT UP, YOU MORON!” Bakugo screamed from the staircase, having just come down. 

  Denki explained (the best he could) about how they were going to die while Bakugo screamed at him for being an idiotic immature airhead.

  “Bakugo’s being so manly!” Kirishima marvelled.

  “We have a fire and that’s what you’re thinking about?” Todoroki stared at how moved Kirishima was.

  Soon, Ritsu and Jiro had also arrived.

  Jiro sighed at Denki practically crying at their soon-to-be death. “Denki, seriously? You know, we could literally have Todoroki go and freeze the entire room and not be dead.” 

  Denki perked up at that, finally remembering that we were supernatural humans and that we had quirks. “Oh right. I forgot.”

  “You can do that?” Ritsu asked Todoroki curiously.

  “I guess I could.” Todoroki replied, heading towards the stairs.

  A few minutes later, he came down, saying the room was free of fire. 

  Immediately, Kirishima screamed, “YOU’RE SO MANLY!” [I legit agree].

  Then, as if on cue, the firefighters appeared.

  “Where is the room?” One of them asked.

  “Seventh floor, but I think you need to get a flamethrower rather than a water hose. There’ll be ice to melt” Sero answered.

  We had a lot of explaining to do.

Chapter Text

Basically… 

My friend pointed out that I wrote ‘my sister’s house’ for Deku’s mom and two seconds later Deku says ‘I have 15 more siblings’…

SO. They’re both right, it’s just that the whole family calls their actually cousins siblings because they’re…close?

FYI, Deku’s mom’s sister is Nagisa’s mom, Hiromi, who got with Gakuho.

Danganronpa people’s dad is gonna be mentioned in the next next chapter, just…um…be prepared, someone’s going to be traumatised.

I’m not changing the title, cause it looks really impossible (but it was made possible by Kaito >:])

Edit: ok now that I watched season 2 episode 5 and 9… I love the combination I did for Assclass people. Beautifully executed pair: the child-abuser, obsessive and unstable woman and the centipede-user, patronising and controlling man. Nothing could go wrong >:].

Chapter Text

(Gakushu’s P.O.V.)

  I was mad. 

  First, Midoriya had invited his classmates over to our house, welcomed them into our floors, and left the responsibility to us.

  Second, they triggered a fire drill, which I would’ve ignored; however, my roommate decided to lecture me about the dangers of staying inside during a fire: the carbon monoxide in the smoke and the high temperatures and whatnot. I froze his mouth so he would finally shut it.

  Third, the house was flooded, because someone chose to freeze the fire, which included the entire room. Then, guess what. The firefighters melted the ice and essentially inundated the bottom levels. I yearned for all of them to drown, but alas, they got away and seconds to spare.

  The one piece of good fortune was that it didn’t reach the higher levels, which meant that I could still revise. Until the ice trapping my roommate melted and he launched into another godforsaken monologue. I shoved him out of my room, through the window. His screams were very enjoyable. 

  I can finally study in peace. I originally thought, but then someone suggested that we could have a game together, like an icebreaker. Of course, everyone else agreed. 

  So now here I was, in an inevitable game of sing-off. [I wanna make weird poems okay?] 

  We were split up into 9 groups, consisting of 5 people each. My group had: Tenko, who started screaming about how she was grouped with 4 degenerates. Karma, my twin and the most annoying person in the world, looking at his face, he was probably cooking up a plan to embarrass me in front of the others. Bakugo, the imbecile who was screaming at Tenko for screaming (which doesn't even make sense). Iida, the person that I had just kicked out of the building, who was teaching Bakugo and Tenko how to behave and to stop screaming.

  Our mother started the game, announcing the first topic we would need to make a short song about: Summertime.

  Summer, the time of the year that there were no tests and exams and ways to compete and beat the other idiots. And we're supposed to make a song about how great it was. Seriously?

  Quickly, the time for composing the song was over, with our song not finished by a bit.

  We went by numerical order, with group 1 performing first. They had nominated Terasaka, which was their worst choice. As Terasaka started to bawl, his teammates realised their mistake. We all groaned as he screeched out an unintelligible sentence. We had to force him off the fake ‘stage’. Mother gave him a 2, maybe for pity.

  Group 2: Nakamura. She made a better impression than Terasaka, actually singing and not screaming. Her lyrics didn’t make much sense though, so she got a 6.

  Kirishima was the representative of group 3. As soon as he got onto the ‘stage’, he blasted out music from who knows where, and he started rapping. 

Oh, I wanna jump into the sea, get your buckets and your shovel, 

Not gonna step on a shark, jellyfish, sea urchin, I’m on another level.

The only time, this summertime, that I can go n’ vibe in this…paradise,

Drink up the juicy cocktail, put in the fake umbrella, put in the ice!

[Sue me I don’t rap or write raps]

  We stared at him, [pretend it’s not complete crap] utterly speechless. He got an easy 10 out of 10.

  After we got over our disbelief, group 4’s Deku was working on high expectations, which he crashed after his first line, in which he stammered and broke the tiny fragment of respect we had for him. 3/10, at least it sounded better than Terasaka. 

  Group 5 was next, and Ritsu sang for them. Her vocals were fine and the song sounded okay albeit sounding AI generated. [Omfg they cheated!] 

  The grape runt-what was his name again? Mineta? He went up the ‘stage’ for group 6, and said something that was highly inappropriate, [Gakushu would never say it but basically, Mineta was talking about bikinis and p*n*s]. He had to be pushed off the ‘stage’. He didn’t get rated, it was too much to rate.

  Next, it was group 7’s turn. Kaede represented them, coming up to the ‘stage’. [If you know if Kaede sings please tell me?] She stuck to what she did best, playing an instrumental on the electrical piano that appeared out of nowhere. Slowly, one by one, Midoriya’s classmates became mesmerised; while the people who knew what her quirk was stayed mentally intact. By the end of Kaede’s performance, the newcomers were as brain-dead as zombies. She, of course, was rated a 10/10, even though you couldn’t hear the ‘summertime’ in it.

  As Kaede stepped off the stage, Iida started panicking, as it was our turn and we hadn’t prepared anything. Bakugo started yelling at Iida for panicking and it just turned into a one-sided screaming match. 

  “Hey Gakushu, you want some coffee to get your brain on, we totally need it right now.” Karma said, whipping out a mug from who-knows-where.

  “I know it’s poisoned, with cyanide or some other lethal poison.” I retorted.

  While he persuaded me to drink it, the fire bell rang. Again. 

(Karma’s P.O.V.) [why did I use charm for him, questioning my life choices]

  Yes, I’ll admit to pulling the fire alarm…and poisoning Gakushu’s coffee (though I used ricin, not cyanide).

  I internally laughed at the others, who were either: 1. Screaming like a lunatic and running around, trying to get away from their own made-up smoke; or, 2. Grabbing the necessities and running away from wherever they thought the fire was, which meant from all directions.

  Gakuho’s alarm recording soon followed the fire alarm: This alarm is not a drill…bring your money and blah, blah, blah.

  I grabbed a lighter from my pocket and lit the room ablaze, much to the horror of…probably everyone, simply because I would rather go pyromaniac-mode and burn something than face the charges of illegal misuse of the fire alarm. 

  The blood-curdling screams this elicited from the scaredy-cats in the group was amusing to hear and see.

  It was everyone for themselves, they tried to cram out of the room by the door or even the window (for the new people who didn’t know that they would either die from fall damage or smoke inhalation). But soon they found out the door (and the window) were locked. 

  I smirked at Nakamura, who had just stashed her keys into her pocket. She smirked back. 

  “Calm down everyone!” Inko yelled over the chaos, trying to control the screaming bunch of kids,  but it was kind of hard, as there was a fire right behind her.

  By now, they were punching at the door, but to no avail obviously, because Hiromi had ‘reinforced’ the door, which was now…made of tungsten. (Cry about it! >:D)

  “We can’t get out right now, so can someone please help staunch the fire.” She asked (way too politely considering the circumstances). 

  Gakushu stepped up, because he’s a goody-goody, and froze the fire, which was kinda effective, since the fire just melted the ice immediately (sadly), and the water made the fire sizzle and disappear (even more sadly). 

  “Now we’re going to get out of here.” Inko put in her key [lady, you seriously had the key the whole time??? :o], and a flow of people ran out.

  “I almost died two times in one day!” Someone screamed [probably Denki]

  “I faced a life-or-death scenario for the first time!” Another guy screamed (try being an assassin, if that was your first time almost dying, it could change that).

  “YOU’RE SO MANLY!” Kirishima gasped at Gakushu. [It’s a pun I need to do.] 

  Meanwhile, Gakushu was soaking up the compliments (like a complete idiot).

  I went over to Nakamura, “Nice idea with the locked door.”

  “It’s like Dad always says, ‘Bring along your phone, a wet towel, the keys to this house and most importantly your credit card…s.’” She said, fishing out each thing from her pockets (and yes, all those things don’t fit in one pocket), including her two phones (one for illegal and suspicious websites and one for normal stuff), a towel wet with chloroform (so knocking someone out doesn’t require any violence, though violence is still more fun), her keys, her credit card and Korosensei’s credit card (in which we stole together, I got his wallet).

  “Did you spend his money? I put it somewhere and placed the empty wallet on his desk so that he could see and feel the despair.” I said with a tint of maliciousness [why did it autocorrect to mayonnaise :/] 

  “Oh, I’m going to save it until there’s something good on the black market. Anyways, is everyone here convinced that Nagisa's a girl?” She asked.

  “I’m pretty sure, I mean I don’t think she said anything about it.” I replied, emphasising the pronoun.

  “My roommates convinced Kayano and Nagisa are both lesbian! I showed her the kiss photo.” She smirked. 

  “Oh nice…I’m going to try to spread the rumour too.” I said evilly.

  “Ok children! (*gags*) Return to your rooms, I will send someone here to clean the room.” Inko said, gesturing for us to disperse.

  I dumped a match into the room, throwing Gakushu’s exercises (for good measure) and set the place on fire again, because why not? The firefighters can go on and solve the post-algebra problems (which were basically impossible unless you had an intelligence quirk). [ok, hear me out, pre-algebra is a thing, then why isn’t post-algebra, it’s just harder stuff?]

Chapter Text

(Bakugo’s P.O.V.)

  I went back to Stupid-Face’s room (which I was FORCED to have). We had made a silent agreement to not kill each other unless one of us started it, in which we could go full on murder mode. 

  I sat on the floor-bed, (how could they treat us so badly) being bored and wanting to bully some kid or beat up Deku. 

  Out of boredom, I decided to look at Stupid-Face’s family photos (which he sure did have a lot), to roast and make fun of. I skimmed through them, not caring a single bit for the wholesome ones. 

  But one in particular, caught my eye. It was any other photo, but there was another person in the middle, who looked like their dad. There was one little anomaly in it. Their dad…looked like the infamous, dead, evil…Dabi. [So. Are you traumatised?]

  I grabbed Stupid-Face by the collar, screaming “Dabi’s your FUCKING DAD?!” (Which basically alerted the entire house).

  “What do you mean? No! Of course not! That’s their dad.” He pointed vaguely anywhere, struggling out of my grip, succeeding and trapping me in headlock, before I exploded him outwards.

  I saw Shitty Hair no.2 walk past our door, take one look at our murder scene, and started filming a fucking TikTok. Great. We were being recorded.

  Exercise Book came too, to shut us up, because he was ‘studying for something very important’ as he said. I flipped him off.

  I shoved my foot between Stupid-Face’s legs and ass-kicked him, adding a little extra explosive energy to really get in there. 

  “Stop right there!” Four-Eyes’s voice came from behind us. He was—as usual—karate-chopping the air. I punched him out of the room, where he fell back and got kicked again by Exercise Book, who yeeted him off a few levels.

  “And that’s the first murder, Tenya Iida of Class 1-A of U.A.! Who's going to die next? Idiot, waste-of-space Terasaka, or aggressive, bakaka [it's stupid in Japanese apparently] Bakugo? Stay tuned for more killing and death!” Shitty Hair no.2 narrated, speaking into his phone, which was still recording. He put it balancing precariously on a railing and went down to check on the body, because it was really interesting to him.

  A few more people had come in the middle of me and Stupid-Face’s fight, including Racoon Eyes, Icyhot and Dunce-Face. 

  After Dunce-Face arrived, he immediately started fucking cheering for me. I glared at him, but in vain as he just cheered louder. 

  I exploded Stupid-Face’s face, trying to secure victory.

  But Stupid-Face (because he was so stupid), deflected the blow, rushing toward me.

  I stun-grenaded him as he was running, making him lose track of where exactly he was going and crash into a wall.

  Shitty Hair no.2 and Dunce-face started maniacally laughing at his failure.

  Racoon Eyes and Icyhot just looked at us, not making any motion to help anyone. 

  “THEIR FUCKING DAD IS YOUR FUCKING BROTHER!” I screamed at Icyhot.

  “What.” He replied, a look of total confusion on his face.

  I pointed at the photo.

  “Wow…” Dunce-Face stopped cheering, goggling at the picture of Dabi. 

  “How is it ‘wow’, Pikachu?” I narrowed my eyes at him.

  “Yeah, what's so surprising?” Braids asked, not understanding the situation.

  “You have a wanted villain in your house? That's so cool!” Racoon Eyes exclaimed, also not understanding the situation.

  “I suggest that you could just call ‘the villain's children’, not us?” Exercise Book said.

  “Right.” Round-Face took out her phone. “What’s their number?”

  “4727 8151.” Blondie replied.

  “Called.” Round-Face set the phone to speaker mode.

  “Hello? Who called?” Lime Head’s voice came from the phone.

  “We have a question.” Frogface said simply. “Just call them here.”

  “Okay?” Lime Head agreed, hanging up a second later. 

———

(Momo’s P.O.V.)

  After a while, they arrived, breaking in through the window (like any normal human being). [They’re spending too much time with assassination people, so I had to bring them back].

  “Why did you call us here? This is a waste of time,” Miu complained.

  “Exactly. I was performing a ritual when Rantaro burst into the room, disrupting the spirit’s form.” Korekiyo added.

  “Apparently, they have a question.” Ryoma recalled. “A question that’s worth answering.”

  “Basically, we want to know…who your dad is.” Ochako asked.

  “And that’s why you asked us here? It’s Touya.” Kaede answered.

  “Who’s that?” I asked.

  “Yeah! I’ve never heard of him!” Sero supported her.

  “He’s our dad, if you’ve never heard of him, I didn’t think you would anyway.” Tsumugi shrugged.

  “Then who’s that in the picture?” I asked.

  “That’s Touya!” Himiko replied.

  “Then who’s Touya?” Hagakure questioned

  “Our dad!” Himiko answered.

  “But who is he, like his job.”

  “How do I know?” 

  “I don’t know?”

  “I don’t know either?”

  “He’s your dad, how would you not know?”

  “Dad’s really secretive about his job, like it’s something shady.”

  “He’s a villain.”

  “What?! No way!”

  “Yes way!”

  “No w-”

  “Touya is my…brother.”

  Everyone’s head whipped towards the speaker—Todoroki.

  “What?!” Half of them screamed.

  “How is that possible?!” Kaito gaped.

  “Wait a second…” Shuichi’s eyes widened. “If you’re our father’s brother, then you’re our…uncle, and you’re almost the same age as us!”

  “But…but…but Dabi is 24 now! If Maki, your oldest sibling, is 16…wouldn’t that mean…he did intercourse at 8?!” Mina screeched. “Oh. My. God. He had underage sex?! [exactly why I didn’t add the archive warning]”

  “But that is scientifically impossible. A male reproductive system is only starting to mature at ages 9 to 16, the enlargement of the testicles and penis starts at about 11, while the body only starts to produce sperms and testosterone at about 13. This is outrageously impossible!” Gakushu stated, listing out the puberty signs for males.

  “I’m…disgusted.” Tsu commented.

  “If you’re interested, Mom actually has this birth quirk that lets her get pregnant easily and birth quickly, about 10 days later. She says it doesn’t hurt either.” Keebo randomly told us.

  “We should’ve started with that! Now, my soul has been tainted by the male reproductive system!” Hagakure groaned. “It feels like Mineta just made a speech.”

  “You know…the biggest penis ever recorded…is 14 inches…” Mineta whispered into her ear.

  “Ewww…” The other girls commented. Mineta was kicked off the balcony.

  “Second death! Minoru Mineta of 1-A of U.A.!” Karma announced again.

  “I…don’t know how to respond…” Sero sighed.

  “The guy with the big dick sounds so manly!” Kirishima gasped.

  “In actuality, the birth quirk doesn’t make it easier to get pregnant, just easier for the person after they got pregnant.” Gakushu clarified. “Like for example, if an immature penis enters this person’s vagina, it wouldn’t work anyhow, since there are no sperms to be ejected.” 

  “She’s so productive…again! She’s reproductive!” Denki giggled at his own joke, Mineta followed. 

  The girls gagged, absolutely repulsed.

  “Back on topic, we now know five facts: Dabi, the villain from the league of villains, is your father; he had many underage…connections; Todoroki is your…uncle; Inko has this amazing birth quirk; and this is all impossible.” I evaluated it.

  “Precisely.” Kirumi nodded.

  “I guess your work here is done? We got a clear-ish answer.” Sero said, looking at the broken window. 

  “Yeah, I guess.” Kaito agreed.

  They went out through the window, the glass shard shattering on the ground 8 floors below.

  Sense check of my classmates [my pre-algebra teacher, Mrs Dodds, taught me this (do you get the implication)] after that fiasco:

  Mina, Hagakure, Ochako and Tsu were depressed at losing their virginity.

  Jiro and I were just utterly disgusted.

  Todoroki was depressed at being an uncle of 17 kids, including Midoriya.

  Midoriya was depressed at how his classmate was also his uncle.

  Kirishima was still surprised at the manliness of “the guy”.

  Midoriya’s siblings had their jaws dropped on the ground, never knowing exactly how old Dabi was.

  Bakugo and Terasaka were still fighting, on the verge of slitting each other’s throats.

  Gakushu was rolling his eyes at how little we knew about the male reproductive system.

  Karma was flinging a string of canisters of…blood around, labelled: Gakushu, Nagisa, Gakuho, Hiromi, Iida, Mineta…

  Denki was still processing what he had just heard. 

  We were…a mess, to put it simply. 

Chapter Text

(Ochako’s P.O.V.)

  After we calmed down, Yaomomo suggested we should play another game to get our minds off the unbelievable news we had just heard.

  “I think we should play that game in the strategy reality show ‘Devil's Plan’, like the ‘Virus’ game.” Kayano said.

  “How do you know that show? I didn't think you were the type to watch it.” Hagakure questioned.

  “Last week, Gakushu made us watch it. He said it was ‘creative and educational’” Karma mimicked Gakushu’s posh accent. 

  “And then all 31 of us ended up watching the whole thing in one night.” Nakamura ended.

  “So…How do you play?” I asked.

  “In the game, there's six roles, which are split into three categories: The citizens, the neutrals, and the terrorists.

  There are three kinds of citizens: the ordinary citizens, the researchers and the journalist.

  The ordinary citizens, to put it bluntly, are useless. Unless they have the antibodies to the virus, in which they can be used by the researchers to create a cure for the virus. There are 5, including the antibodies, ordinary citizens.

  The researchers’ mission is to find the person with the antibodies and make a cure, which goes through two stages: preparation and development. The start of the preparation of the cure will be announced at the start of the round after the researchers find the antibodies. The development stage will be announced at the start of the next round if the researchers succeed. If the cure is developed, the citizens win and all of them each earn 6 points. There are two researchers.

  The journalist can see one person’s identity every round, which they can choose to share or not share with the others. And that's all they do. There is one journalist.

  Next category: the neutrals. There two roles categorised here, the officer and the fanatic. 

  The officer can kill one person every round, but they can choose to do or not. They will win when both terrorists are killed, they will earn 10 points. There is one officer.

  The fanatic wants to die, the sooner the better. If they die in the first round, they will get 10 points, if they die in the second round, they get 9 points and so on. There is one fanatic.

  The last category is the terrorists, which are like the murderers. First, they will infect someone and the virus will spread to the people around them. The terrorists win when everyone but them and the person with the antibodies die. If one of them dies midway and the other wins the game, they win together and get 6 points each. They also have a kill each, which works like the officer’s but just doesn't replenish. They can use it to kill someone immediately. They are immune to the virus. There are two terrorists.

  The virus spreads like this: if number 3 is infected, number 2 and 4 will be infected in the next round and number 3 will die. The numbers 1 and 12 are considered connected. The amount of infected players will be announced every round.

  There will also be a room for you to test if you are infected. You can do so only once.

  The winner gets bragging rights.” Gakushu explained in one breath. 

  “So who wants to play?” Hagakure asked. “I want to!”

  One by one, Kayano, Yaomomo, Gakushu, Nakamura, Sero, Karma and I agreed to play. 

  Terasaka got ‘forced’ to play.

  “We can call our other siblings to play, we need 12 players at least for this anyway.” Kayano suggested.

  “Good idea, I'll call them.” I pressed out their phone number.

(Shuichi’s P.O.V.)

  Immediately after we reached home, the phone rang again.

  “What the fuck do you want?” Miu screamed into the speaker, hanging up.

  “Come on, Miu, that’s not nice!” Kaede chided. [Do I care about the Shuichi ships? No] She called them back.

  They picked up moments later.

  “Oh! I thought you hung up. Anyways, do you want to play a game with us?” Ochako said with her usual cheerful demeanour.

  “What game exactly are you planning to play?” Kaito asked.

  “Virus, like the one in the game-show we watched last week.” She replied.

  “Sure! I’ll play.” Kaito nodded, not knowing that they couldn’t see him from their end of the line [Space idiot indeed]. 

  I agreed to play too, liking the sound of some (sort of) murder mystery. [Oh wait with Shuichi’s quirk…This game is literally rigged.]

  “Hey Miu, I bet if you played, you would get killed in the first round by the officer just because you were annoying them.” Kokichi teased Miu, pressing all the right buttons.

  “How dare you! I-” Miu succumbed to Kokichi’s pitfall.

  “I want to…play too.” Miu sighed as she was released from Kokichi’s control.

  “Great! We have twelve people! You can come over, and not by the window.” Kayano said, probably praying that we wouldn't break in again.

  “Ok sure! See you there.” Kaito hung up.

 ———

  We arrived a few minutes later, going through the basement passage this time. 

  They had done preparations: A cubicle for testing if you have the virus was stationed next to the door of the 1st Multi-purpose Room and another small room was on the far corner, serving as the dealer’s room, which was for picking roles and imprisonment for the eliminated.

  “How did you get so much set up in 5 minutes?” Kaito asked.

  “Momo helped us create the portable rooms with her quirk.” Kayano answered. “And we need Miu to make a few camera monitors so that we know if the action that triggers a death is done.” [Clarification for Miu’s quirk: it’s a creation quirk but it has an inventing element to it.]

  “Why… I didn’t even want to play anyway!” Miu groaned, but still got to work with the cameras.

  “Guess you have to now.” Karma smirked at her. [Just realised Miu is like Professor Bitch.]

———

  “Ok I’m done.” Miu fixed the last machine to the ceiling.

  “Nice! We can start the game now!” Ochako said.

  “We now have to pick numbers.” Nakamura said, taking out a metal cylinder roulette tool.

  After we had gotten our numbers, we read them out.

  “I’m 1.” Terasaka said, raising up his ball.

  “I got 2.” Miu continued, holding up her ball too.

  “3.” Kayano said.

  “4.” Sero said.

  “I have 5.” Hagakure said

  “I’m 6.” Kaito said.

  We continued announcing our numbers until we had a list.

  Gakushu put up a diagram of our numbers on the wall. [Can you see this?] [Ok whatever you can’t]

1: Terasaka, 2: Miu, 3: Kayano, 4: Sero, 5: Hagakure, 6: Kaito, 7: Momo, 8: Nakamura, 9: Shuichi, 10: Ochako, 11: Karma, 12: Gakushu.

  “Now we can get our roles, right?” Hagakure said, gesturing for Terasaka (who was first) to go inside the ‘dealer’s’ room. 

  “Yeah whatever.” Terasaka went into the portable (might be toilet) room. 

  Moments later, he came out. 

  He didn’t look like he had any special roles, but again he was reluctant to play anyway.

  Miu went into the room second, and like Terasaka, she didn’t have any interesting expressions.

  Kayano was third, she came out wearing her happy expression.

  “Let’s just say I’m on the citizen’s side.” Kayano smiled.

  I watched Gakushu write down ‘Innocent, but not ordinary, potentially journalist or researcher’. He had written ‘No data could be obtained’ for Terasaka and Miu.

  “I’m satisfied with my role.” Sero said as he was coming out of the room. ‘Not sure, but according to his personality, not ordinary.’ Gakushu wrote.

  Hagakure came out of the room, sighing, “At least I’m a citizen.” ‘99% an ordinary citizen’.

  As Kaito walked out the room, he shrugged, “What can I say, I have no powers.” Earning him a ‘100% an ordinary citizen’.

  Momo didn't have much of a reaction, her face remained stoic as usual. ‘No data obtained’.

  Nakamura was next. When she came out, she mimicked Sero’s ‘I’m satisfied with my role’ line. Probably a good idea, not disclosing so much information. But Gakushu still wrote down that she was a ‘99% Terrorist’.

  I went in after her, picking my own roles within the 4 cards left. It said: Officer. I guess it was a kind of nice role. I went out, not making eye contact with anyone to not give anyone a hint of my role, since the Officer was always targeted by the terrorists.

  With 3 people left, Ochako went in. She came out with the same expression Hagakure had. “I didn't commit any crimes. I'm completely clean.” (As I had moved away from Gakushu, I could not see what he was scribbling).

  Karma went in second-last, and didn’t come out for 5 minutes. Gakushu was next so he went inside the now cramped room.

  They were in there for about 10 minutes, in which noises of violence were heard.

  After that, Karma came out first, saying, “I’m fine with my role.”

  We waited for Gakushu to come back out but he didn’t…for 20 minutes.

  “I vote we should ditch him and start!” Miu suggested.

  “I completely agree!” Nakamura said, discreetly closing the door to the ‘dealer’s’ room.

  “All in favour?” Karma asked.

  “Yep!” Hagakure said.

  “So, let’s start!” Kayano said.

  We started dispersing and forming our own small groups.

  “Being a terrorist is the worst thing ever.” Terasaka suddenly said, sighing.

  We looked at him. Did he just admit to being the terrorist? But the weird thing was, I knew he was telling the truth.

  At that exact moment, Gakushu came out of the room. 

  “I will revel in crushing all of you.” *Truth!*

  “Um…why is everyone announcing their roles?” Kaito gaped, absolutely baffled.

  “No one cares! Whoever is the officer, just kill them!” Nakamura cried.

Chapter Text

(Nakamura’s P.O.V.)

  Mission accomplished!

  The look Terasaka had on his face was not gonna lie…funny.

  “I swear! I’m not a terrorist!” Terasaka tried to save his ‘life’.

  “You were telling the truth just now! You’re the terrorist!” Shuichi deducted the ‘truth’. 

  As Terasaka was saying he’s innocent, the rest of us went our separate ways. Yaoyorozu immediately went to Ochako, probably being one of the researchers and knowing that Ochako was the most potential candidate for being the citizen with the antibiotics. Terasaka tried to escape from the room, smashing the wall in with his 10x muscles (his quirk). Shuichi ‘inspected’ the others, trying to figure out what all of our roles were. Gakushu was nowhere to be seen (as expected). Hagakure was nowhere to be seen (as expected). 

  Now you might ask where Gakushu was and what happened to him and Terasaka right? [At least that's what I think you're doing.]

  This was the perfectly executed plan: So if there wasn't a terrorist before me, I would flip over every single card in the dealer’s room (no one said you couldn't) and choose the terrorist. Then I would memorise the cards and tell Karma the remaining one. Then, he would stay in the room and wait for someone else to go. It was probably going to be Gakushu, he was next anyway. When that happened, he would proceed to fight him, and come out and pretend like he wasn't just trying to kill someone. Next, I would lock the door just in case Gakushu came out and ditch him with the rest of us. Lastly, Karma would transform into Gakushu and state that he was a terrorist, which others would interpret as the truth since Shuichi would know he was the terrorist. And just because it was fun, Karma told me to talk in Terasaka’s voice and say that I was the terrorist, which would also be the truth. Despite reverse psychology, the others would almost 100 percent trust Shuichi and his quirk and whoever the officer was would kill them. 

  I went to the 5th toilet cubicle (the least commonly used), finding my terrorist teammate. I was careful to not close the door since there were rules against having two people in the same cubicle. 

  The punishments were severe. And I mean severe.

  “So…who should we infect?” Karma was sitting on the tank [like the backboard of the toilet??], conveniently stepping on the lid (against the rules).

  “Infect Kayano,” I replied. “I think she’s a researcher or journalist or something innocent.”

  “Yeah, or maybe we should infect Shuichi, he has an OP quirk,” Karma suggested. “He’s going to figure out Plan ‘pretend Gakushu and Terasaka are the terrorists’ sometime.”

  “But the infection will stop when it reaches us [The virus works like that, stops when it reaches the terrorists who are immune]. You still want to infect him.” I questioned.

  “True, so ‘Forever Flat’ it is, right?” He smirked at the code-name.

  “Yep, do it!” I agreed.

  He walked out of the cubicle and traced a ‘3’ out onto the toilet mirror. 

{The terrorist has to draw out the number of the player they want to infect on the bathroom mirror. The number of people infected will be announced at the end of the 30-minute round.}

  We went back outside after the first ‘terrorist meeting’. The others were in this weird formation of a circle, which was wonky at Miu and Kaito’s side. They had done the ‘circle around and we won’t get infected’ strategy.

  Well, too bad, we already did.

  The bell rang, signaling the end of the round. 

  The robotic AI voice boomed from somewhere, "This is the end of the first round, one person is infected.”

  To put it simply, the others freaked out.

  “What the hell Terasaka! I thought this plan was fool-proof or something! How did one of us still get infected?!” 

  “We should’ve never trusted a self-proclaimed terrorist! He is a terrorist! Officer! Kill him!” 

  “We’re one step closer to losing and it’s your fault! You better get us out of this situation, or I’ll shoot you later in class…with real bullets!”

  “I believed in you! How could you let us down, Terasaka!”

  “Forget about Terasaka’s stupid plan! We’re going to need to figure out who is the person who got infected!”

  “Yeah? Like we could waste our one and only chance to test ourselves! Didn’t you hear the explanation Gakushu gave?” 

  “Where is he anyway? Only he could save us from this catastrophe that Terasaka has created.” 

  “So…Terasaka copied the trick that the show introduced, and it failed.” Karma acknowledged.

  “And now he’s the center of attention…for being the terrorist.” I added.

  “Everyone knows what to do now. Go into the testing cubicle one by one!” Kaito commanded. 

  “Why should we listen to you? You’re no better than Terasaka, you seconded his idea!” Miu accused.

  “I agree. We should think this out. Who is the most likely person to get infected?” Yaoyorozu was about to save the group from another argument, but the AI announcer intervened.

  “Terasaka has died. His role was…” The voice stopped for suspense. “An ordinary citizen.”

  “Wait WHAT?!” Five or more people screamed. [those hundred or so words were the best to write]

  “At least I don’t have to play anymore.” Terasaka left the room, going back to his room, only to be greeted by Bakugo’s explosions. 

  The others were speechless. Probably thinking, ‘Oh no! We’re back to square one! Terasaka wasn’t the terrorist! We’re such idiotic idiots for idiotically listening to the idiot’s idiotic plan! We’re going to lose like idiots now! Oh no! We need Gakushu-senpai [yes I know what that means] to save us idiots but he's gone!’

  They started blaming each other again. 

  “Who did this? Who told the officer to kill Terasaka!” 

  “I think it was Kaito! He’s usually the most stupid and impulsive.”

  “Don’t look at me! I only insulted him, which you did too!”

  “Well, it doesn’t matter because now since someone decided to drop the command to kill Terasaka, we’re screwed. Who is able to fix this mess?” 

  “Ugh! We’re never going to win this game! It’s so hard! And plus, we have no leads now!” 

  “We’re totally going to lose!”

  “I think so too. Maybe we should forfeit?”

  “WHAT! No way!” 

  “Yes, we can’t continue this game.”

  The chatter died down again.

  “The second round has ended. Kayano has died. Her role was…the journalist. There are two people infected.” The announcement came again.

  After Kayano left the room, the others started to doubt their decision to play.

  “I second Hagakure’s idea to surrender. We can’t keep getting killed off like this!” Ochako said, distressed (over a game).

  “I third it!” Miu said, looking like she really wanted to leave.

  “No! We can’t go out just like that! I believe we can pinpoint the terrorists if we just put our minds together!” Kaito encouraged all of us.

  “I think Kaito’s plan is better. We have to win.” Sero agreed with conviction.

  “We should know who a terrorist is after a few rounds. The infection is going to stop when it reaches them, right?” Shuichi said, completely in detective mode. “Miu and Sero should be next to die.”

  “So…Let's wait out this round!” I prompted, trying to prevent them from discussing further. 

  “We’ll possibly get results after this round.” Kaito said frantically, trying to prevent them from stopping the game.

  “What? But we can't wait like sitting ducks, we have to get a move on.” Hagakure voiced her concerns. “What if they use a bullet and kill an important charac-.”

  “Shuichi has died. His role was…the Officer.” The announcement blared again.

  “What?! The terrorist probably used their bullet. Shuichi was too much of a threat to them.” Kaito said, watching Shuichi leave the room. {After they are killed, they cannot speak.}

  I briefly glimpsed Karma dropping his finger gun.

{The terrorist has to make a finger gun directed at the people they want to kill.}

  Good timing I thought as the citizens screamed.

  “Oh my god, guys we just lost the one and only person who could save us from the terrorists.” I sparked the conversation.

  “So what do we do now? Do we wait to be killed.” Ochako asked, completely forgetting the role of the researcher.

  “The researchers should be able to make the cure.” Sero said, bringing back the role of the researcher.

  “Who are the researchers?” I asked, maybe plotting to kill them.

  “I am one.” Yaoyorozu raised her hand. “I don't know who the other is, but the task is I have to hold hands with the person with the antibodies. I already tried Ochako and Hagakure, they don't have it.” 

  “Then who's the other one?” Kaito questioned.

  “No one knows?” Hagakure asked.

  At that moment, I understood who the other researcher was. 

  It was Gakushu. 

  Apparently, the others had short-term memory and forgot about Gakushu’s mysterious disappearance. 

  “Maybe they don't want to have a target on their back. Researchers should be keeping their identity secret.” I suggested.

  “Possibly…” Ochako said thoughtfully. “But whoever it is, I think they should reveal themselves.”

  “Yeah, I agree, we should work together and find the person with the antibodies.” Karma pretended to be a citizen, contributing to the conversation.

  “So who are the terrorists-” Kaito tried to ask.

  “Do you think the terrorists are just going to admit to it? No! Make a more ethical plan.” Miu rolled her eyes at Kaito’s stupidity.

  Before Kaito or anyone could say anything, the announcement rang again. 

  “The third round has ended. Sero has died. His role was…the Fanatic. He has been awarded 8 points. As there are no more ways to win, Sero has won this game of Virus.” 

{The point system is like this: If the citizens win-> each 6 points. If the terrorists win-> each 6 points. If the officer wins-> 10 points. In this case, the officer has died and the only possible number of points anyone can get, not counting the fanatic, is 6 points. Therefore, the fanatic gets an automatic win.} 

  [In other words, I don’t want to write a three-parter.]

  “What! I totally thought you were a citizen! How could you!” Kaito said, offended that someone had lied to him, in a game where you had it lie.

  “Eh. At least no one knows we put them through turmoil.” I high-fived Karma.

  “So…who was the terrorist?” Ochako asked.

  No one answered.

  “Seriously? A combination lock? You had me try all 1000 combinations, and the combination was 999.” Gakushu slid out of the game cubicle.

  “You should’ve checked the triples first.” Karma smirked at him.

  “Then you’re going to set the lock to 998.” 

  “Start from the top.”

  “And the combination is going to be 001.”

  “Then start from the bottom.”

  “Then it’s 999.”

  “Did you forget to check the triples?”

  “If I checked everything you just said, the combination would be 500.”

  “Then check the middle, you’re bound to get it sometime.”

  “You’re impossible.”

  “Thanks for the compliment!”

  Gakushu sighed, exasperated. 

  The PA system alert rang.

  “The bus for revision class will arrive soon. Please make your way to the bus stop. If you don’t participate, you will be punished.” Mom’s voice came from the built-in non-removable speaker (believe me I’ve tried).

  At the same time, someone knocked on the door.

  “The bus arrived already! If you don’t want to walk 300 km, you should get going.” Isogai poked his head in.

  We groaned, not looking forward to learning and educating ourselves while trying to kill a yellow octopus. Gakushu was the only one not disappointed.

  But one thing was clear. Deku’s classmates were in for a surprise.