Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

It was over and yet, it wasn’t.

Wangho remembered the way he had rushed to the headquarters of T1 as soon as he had realized that it was Sanghyeok’s presentation as an omega that Hyukkyu’s message into the leaders’ group chat had referred to, even though the seasoned ADC hadn’t even known that himself back then.

Everything after that was a bit of a blur.

Overwhelmed by his conflicting feelings, he had just stood frozen in front of the T1 tower, looking up the red and black façade, as if it could provide him with the answer to what he should do, but it had only felt like the building stared back at him in accusation, like it was blaming him for how he had treated its dearest resident in the past.

Or rather the way he had mistreated him, even if it had all just been out of ignorance and misplaced affection.

Because yes, Wangho had loved Sanghyeok in the past and was fond of him still, but not like that. Not in a way that placed him in the position to take care of Sanghyeok. To be the alpha to his omega.

So no, running up to him and forcing his own alpha-presentation in the wake of the heat pheromones of his former crush, had never been an option to Wangho.

He was sure that together, they would have both been lost.

Still, it had hurt to know him out of reach for good.

And then there had been Hyukkyu. Materializing behind him like a shadow or at least that was what it had felt like when he had suddenly felt the threat of strange eyes stabbing his back.

But Hyukkyu had been there for him. Helped him. Listened to him and talked to him and with that thrown over everything that had been between them until now.

The casual friendship that had bloomed in acquaintance and availability, peppered with a common liking in the easygoing ways of the other and welded together by the dongsaengs they shared.

They had never talked in such depth, never even grazed any kind of bedroom talk, when Wangho counted out this one drunk night when he had told Hyukkyu about his crush on Sanghyeok, but all was different now.

Now they HAD talked and now they KNEW things. Enough that Wangho was sure that there wasn’t a way to get back to the point they had been at before.

Now that he knew that they harbored a common interest in the BDSM scene and that Hyukkyu’s dominant energy amazingly harmonized with his inner submissive desires, there was no way to unplay the tune.

There was no way to forget how Hyukkyu had caught him with gentle hands and offered him an out of his endlessly circling thoughts.

How he had held him when Sanghyeok’s car had passed them by, bringing the newly presented omega to his catalyst, Jihoon, his designated alpha.

How he had offered him something that had sounded way better than the prospect of crying into a glass of wine, alone in his bathtub.

Hyukkyu had promised him homemade food, shoulders of himself and chosen teammates to cry on and the choice between enough alcohol to forget or a scene with him that would probably bring the same outcome when Hyukkyu turned out to be as good as he felt from the little, they had done until now.

So of course he had agreed to come.

~

The metro ride wasn’t actually as bad as Wangho had thought it would be.

The wagon was still packed, since it was rush-hour and many people streamed from the city center to the suburbs, but Hyukkyu made it better.

Wangho had already spent most of the ride with his free arm clamped around his Hyung’s waist, while the older one held onto a near pole for both of their safety with their handcuffed hands still clasped around another.

A testament to the support and stability that the Dom was ready to provide for Wangho.

The metal of the handcuffs had long since warmed against his skin and was nothing more than a gentle reminder that he was not alone in this.

He was not alone in dealing with losing Sanghyeok and (with the special circumstances) also his footing on the ground.

The grave mistakes he had made, the signs he had misinterpreted or purposefully ignored, since it had been Sanghyeok all along. The man he had never truly had a real first impression of, since, naïve as he had been, Wangho had thought that he had known him long before he had met him in person for the first time.

He had been deceived by the image and fallen in love with the illusion.

But now Hyukkyu was here. Hyukkyu was real and Hyukkyu was willing to take care of him.

Nothing else was important, since it all was out of Wangho’s responsibility and for a moment, despite all, despite every thought that had rushed through his mind before, despite everything that had happened, for a moment, he could just be.

Right now, when under Hyukkyu’s care, Wangho could just exist, without having to worry about anything else.

Wangho wouldn’t have to worry about Sanghyeok anymore, since he should be safe with his alpha by now. Not even his team, since it was still the off season and he was sure that Dohyeon and Geonwoo had that one under control. Everything else that was happening and would be happening to Wangho in the progression of the evening was on Hyukkyu.

He had given himself over. More, than he might ever had. But Wangho trusted his Hyung with that, eager to submit to the faint authority and gentle dominance that surrounded his old friend at all times. Barely detectable on a normal day, but way more intense on a day like this one.

Now that he knew…

It felt good to let himself fall into that.

Hyukkyu was someone he knew, someone he trusted.

It was different to his prior engagements that were more of a business deal than someone taking care of him out of the goodness of their heart.

Scening before had always been transactional, reduced to a room, a timeframe, a specifically sketched out scene.

This time it was different. This time he knew that he couldn’t keep himself from breaking before he reached a safe environment, because this time he was already falling, but Hyukkyu knew and took him in.

Took over for him, despite his own reservations, because somehow, Hyukkyu already knew him well enough.

Wangho didn’t need to listen to the names of the stations they passed, wouldn’t even need to know the name of the station on which they had to leave the metro or which direction they would have to turn to afterwards. There was no need to lift his face from the crook of Hyukkyu’s neck to look around or look at other people. He wouldn’t need to scan the room of the metro cart at all times, to look out for people who might know who he was and come up, because he was sure that Hyukkyu would also deal with them in case they would.

There was no need to think of words he would say, in case his voice was still working somehow, excuses he would make to be left alone without making it look like he was an ass.

He knew that his Hyung was completely capable of doing all of that for the both of them. Wangho could just close his eyes and be where he was. With his back leaned against the pole and Hyukkyu’s back catching all the jostling that strangers caused when they bumped into him in the packed evening train.

Wangho was secluded from them, calm in the safe cocoon that Hyukkyu provided for him.

Safe enough to let go and let his thoughts hover over every moment, every memory, like he was seeing it from far above. Free to just let them be. Away from the hurt that lingered on the ground.

They didn’t talk.

They didn’t need to, since Hyukkyu seemed to sense that there was nothing Wangho wanted to talk about right now and stayed silent himself.

It made the time fly between the feeling of Hyukkyu’s lean body against his own and the spicy notes of some borderline fruity parfum in his nose.

Not what he would have expected from Hyukkyu, but on the other hand, he couldn’t remember ever expecting anything about his friend.

Hyukkyu just always seemed so even. So immutable. Like the blue sky on a warm summer day.

He just was. Not trying to impress, but also not trying to hide and in all that so secure in himself that one might linger on him anyway.

Yet the hint of parfum was so different to the polished image. Intriguing. Borderline dangerous. Warm, but not in a smooth way. More sexy than Wangho might have expected it from his supposedly rather stuck-up friend, but well, what else had he been wrong about?

Wangho purposefully didn’t think about what exactly Sanghyeok might smell like to other presented people.

He was just glad that he would never find out, now that he was here and not there. Not tempted to interrupt what Sanghyeok and Jihoon might have with another, because in this moment he actually preferred the scent of Hyukkyu’s parfum to anything else.

Down to the bare concept of things.

The artificial scent on his friend’s skin wasn’t like a natural scent that just developed and stuck with a presentation. It was a choice. It was an actual representation of what Hyukkyu liked and Wangho was very on board with what he had decided to wear.

Tomorrow, it could be something else and somehow this pleased a part of Wangho, versatile and fickle like his own moods happened to be sometimes.

Maybe tomorrow those spicy fruits weren’t something that Wangho would like to smell on Hyukkyu. Maybe tomorrow he would prefer something fresher, speaking to another part of him than the one looking for comfort in this intimate way.

This specific scent would never be something that either of them would be stuck with.

For him, a scent was rather a costume, a reflection of mood than a character defining trait and that pleased Wangho.

He very much liked Hyukkyu’s choice of the day. It was kind on his nose and even settled him in his slight daze.

Just good…

~

When their station arrived, the older ADC gently dragged Wangho out of the train, out of the station and into the streets of a calmer city district than the one they had come from.

He toddled along, letting himself get pulled at the hand that was still very much attached by the handcuffs that Hyukkyu had clicked around one of each of their wrists, so Wangho wouldn’t run off to potentially disrupt the mating between the freshly presented Sanghyeok and Jihoon, snatching himself the omega of the pair, before Jihoon was able to sink his teeth into his neck.

All of that seemed far away by now, that it was only him and Hyukkyu beneath the lantern light of a settling day, walking hand in hand towards the ADC’s dorms.

All the confusing feelings of the past, every instance he had felt unsettled, unaccounted for and limitless, it all ended with Hyukkyu’s fingers wedged between his own, giving him perspective, a defined room to move in and clear rules to follow.

The speed of his walking, the length of his steps, even the frequency of his breaths seemed to be controlled by someone else by now.

He didn’t care for streetlights and signs, didn’t care of the way they took, didn’t care to look into dark alleys.

Instead, he let his gaze glide over the surrounding buildings.

Every light a window into another life. A family having dinner, a cat watching the passing cars, an old lady watering her plants, groups of people drinking and laughing in a bar.

Wangho had always liked to watch, thinking that people were fascinating in the way they behaved and reacted to the deeds of others. The nervousness of a man, dressed up well in an itchy suit, that clearly wasn’t the style of clothes he preferred, checking his watch some times too often and always coming back to touching the inside pocked of his jacket, sweating more than the AC-cooled interior of the restaurant would make him on a normal day, even dressed up like that.

It was clear that he would propose to his dolled-up lady date and every time Wangho was fortunate enough to observe something like that, it would make him happy.

In this particular circumstance, this man did end up proposing and Wangho’s friends had been surprised that he’d been right, but Wangho had never doubted the things his eyes had seen.

He had never thought about the option of being wrong in his assessment…

Wangho couldn’t possibly tell how long they had been walking to the KT HQ’s or how many blocks they had passed to get there, but at some time he followed Hyukkyu into the entrance of an unassuming building when they reached it.

They went up a short elevator ride, where, instead of other people, Wangho now looked at the two of them. Pale in the cold light and facing the polished doors that distorted their images, but not enough for Wangho to not recognize the people who stared back at him.

Hyukkyu was handsome in the way he stood there with a composed expression, that met his eyes through the mirrored surface, checking for his wellbeing, while probably thinking he was supple.

Wangho realized this fondly, but felt too tired to smile. Instead, he gently pressed the hand in his own, that immediately answered with a gentle squeeze in return.

Stepping out of the elevator again, the floors were unfamiliar to Wangho.

He had played for many teams throughout the years, though never for KT. When his tight schedule allowed it, he would mostly meet other players in a karaoke bar or a restaurant to have a good time, but not necessarily their dorms.

“I have to take the handcuffs off now, is that alright?”, Hyukkyu suddenly asked him and with that disturbed the comfortably silent atmosphere between them, when they reached the door that led to KT’s dorms.

The Jungler stilled in his steps.

No!, Wangho wanted to say, but it didn’t feel right, looking at the older one’s gentle eyes.

“I don’t want to drag you in there like that. We should talk about it first. Boundaries and exposure”, Hyukkyu elaborated, sensing Wangho’s inner turmoil at the offer.

For the past hour or so, he had gotten used to the gentle weight around his wrist, Hyukkyu’s hand in his and the feeling of unity and guidance.

The cuffs had been the key to Wangho being able to drift. They had been the promise that Hyukkyu would take care of him. The sign that he wouldn’t have to worry. A symbol of dependence and a reminder that there was a Dom for him that would take care of him.

Still, Hyukkyu was right, Wangho knew that much, but letting him take away his hand and the handcuffs too…

He had gotten used to Hyukkyu’s warm skin rubbing against his own and his strong grip guiding the way so fast. What should he do without that now?

Wangho felt how his head started to move up and down slowly.

Deep inside he knew that Hyukkyu was right, deep inside, he wasn’t ready to encounter the team of KT, handcuffed to their leader. Deep inside he knew that he should be a self-sufficient person, who should be able to man up and stand tall when encountering other people.

He was Han Wangho, Peanut, since that counted more in their circles. He was the damn leader of HLE, leading his own team with ambitions for the crown. He should be able to be MORE, even when, right now, he felt like less with even just the thought of letting go.

He kept on nodding, trying to apply every single thing he had learned, everything he had taught himself throughout the years. If that was just smiling now and crying later alone, it was just another thing he did.

Hyukkyu smiled encouragingly, but that couldn’t stop the cold that spread through the Jungler’s body as soon as Hyukkyu let go of his hand to search for the keyhole of the cuff, that had long since adapted to the temperature of his body and already felt more like a part of it than he liked to admit.

“There”, Hyukkyu smiled like he was doing him a favor and pulled a key out of the pocket of his pants with his other hand, while Wangho could just watch how his lifeline got stripped away.

How the scene they had never agreed on and that only existed in his head got interrupted.

He wished it would take some time, maybe some rustling or the key getting stuck… anything that would give him just a little more time. A small thing he could hold onto for a little more than a second, but that didn’t happen.

Hyukkyu just seemed as efficient in handling the handcuffs as with every other aspect in his life.

It took nothing more than a soft click, followed by another and the bindings were gone, folded and back in the pocket of Hyukkyu’s pants like they had never been a part of their arrangement.

Wangho suppressed the sigh that wanted to flee through his lips.

He was a grown man, he scolded himself, he shouldn’t just fold like a house of cards at a minor inconvenience. But it didn’t feel minor, when he was honest with himself.

Losing this rather forced, but also sure contact to the Dom felt like a veil being lifted from his eyes as the whole weight of reality came back at once.

“It’s going to be alright”, Hyukkyu’s voice found him in the storm of his thoughts, barely cutting through, but undeniably there.

The Jungler sighed.

“Come in”, it chimed again and Wangho could feel a gentle tuck on his hand. Fingers, that found his own and slipped in between, like they had already found a home right there.

Naturally, he followed, letting himself rest again in Hyukkyu’s gentle guidance.

Warm. It felt like warmth entering his body from their point of touch.

It made entering Hyukkyu’s home ground a little less intimidating, when an unfamiliar place with unfamiliar noises and scents was revealed to him through an open door.

Of course, Wangho wasn’t presented, but he had always felt that there was a distinct smell to every place where people lived. A mixture of their cleaning products, the food they like to eat, room scents they used and everything else from their hand soaps to their laundry detergent. All of this made every space special. Personal somehow, in a way that made Wangho feel, like he entered a home. Invited, yet somehow intruding.

Every dorm he had lived in throughout the years had its own distinctive smell and KT now brought a new one to his mind.

It surely wasn’t a bad one.

Something citrussy overpowered by the hearty smells of a long simmering hot pot broth and its side dishes in preparation, that Hyukkyu had promised him.

The ADC closed the door behind Wangho and the Jungler was glad that he did it silently, not disturbing the air of secrecy their quiet entering had brought with it.

Whenever he came into a new place, Wangho didn’t like to do it with disturbance and was glad that Hyukkyu granted him the opportunity to sneak in.

He breathed through, manning up for the things to come, when it was only Hyukkyu, gently tugging on his hand to remind him of taking off his shoes, while he put his backpack to the side.

Right, he thought with a blush creeping up his cheeks, but his older companion only answered with a patient, knowing smile.

Wangho complied easily, slipping his sneakers off and watching as Hyukkyu put them into a shelf as if they already had a reserved spot there, leaving the floor clean.

Even his jacket slipped off his shoulders easily when it was Hyukkyu reaching for it to put it up on a coat hanger, which he let disappear into another closet, right next to his own.

It granted the younger one a sense of belonging, like his intrusion in this place wasn’t actually a disturbance.

In exchange Hyukkyu gave him slippers that were a little big on his small feet, before he reached for his hand again, asking whether or not he was okay, while sorting his other hand through the mess of Wangho’s hair in order to make him presentable for his team and giving him a chance to just look at the ADC’s own shiny hair, his slim face, his rather pointy nose and the curve of his pale lips.

Really look at him, as he tightened the grip around the fingers of Hyukkyu’s other hand, that still hadn’t let him go.

Wangho took his time to confirm that he was fine, as he leaned into the gentle touch, while nodding into the palm that held him and just stared.

The older one seemed a little tired with the bags underneath his attentive eyes, but Wangho knew that this was just a symptom of their occupation. His face wasn’t fully clean, there were some patches of sensitive skin, some reddening in certain areas, but somehow, this only made the effortless dominance he radiated even more impressive. Like the ADC hadn’t changed in all the years they’ve known another, but still had managed to grow up beneath the skin of a younger man.

Everything Hyukkyu did, he seemed to do with ease, but now Wangho could see the calculations behind every single action. Every gesture that made up for a word he didn’t say, even the way he kept his movements smooth and slow, giving Wangho time and space to acclimate and adapt, as he was already with one foot off the ground and dangerously close to slipping away and dropping.

He had stepped into a role, opened himself up to reveal a second skin, something that had always lingered underneath, like a mirage wavering at the horizon, there, yet illusive, but now the contours had gained clarity and sharpened.

All those things that Hyukkyu just did, the care he exuded, the questions he asked, the attention he gave to everyone surrounding him. It made sense in the greater scheme of things.

Hyukkyu had never taken over for Wangho, but now he realized what had pulled him in and kept him close for all those years. What made it so easy to spend time with Hyukkyu without him feeling like his energy was getting drained with every moment they spend together.

It wasn’t that they were similar, like the Jungler had thought before, it was because they were so different in all the invisible ways that mattered.

Now it was clear.

Wangho had given him direction and permission and Hyukkyu did his duty, holding him in the space in between functioning and falling. Balancing him, even with the minimal guidelines of the things he had told him and Wangho was sure that nothing but their friendship could be the foundation to every decision that was made.

All the right ones, as Wangho felt in his heart and soul.

Hyukkyu hadn’t even given him the chance to feel out of place in the situation, the new environment or even at his side. He had made it out to be the only way, the only option and Wangho had gladly followed, decidedly not thinking about any place he could be at instead.

There was only here and now. Only him and Hyukkyu. Only this dorm, only the dinner they were about to have with his team.

It was like the whole world fell out of focus when he was here with Hyukkyu.

A break from reality, where hard truths turned into abstract thoughts.

The older one still smiled at him, granting him time and Wangho also lifted the corners of his mouth as an answer.

A gesture of thanks and realization, a sign that he was ready to go on. Permission to go further, but not a smile.

Hyukkyu seemed to understand that he was ready now either way, because he took one of his hands into his own again, to guide him to one of the open doors further down the hall.

It was the one where music and chatter came from. A familiar voice that sang along to an old tune on the radio and a younger one that currently complained: “Hey, that is mine!”, when they stepped closer.

Upon entering the room, Wangho discovered that it was the kitchen of the dorm.

It seemed homey and rather big, compared to other accommodations Wangho had lived with in the past.

Geonhee stirred the ingrediencies of the broth in a huge pot on the stove and still kept on singing along, while Changhyeon stood on a chair with a smug grin, holding a pack of sweets out of their Maknae’s, Seungmin’s, reach.

That’s what the ‘Hey, that’s mine!’, came from, Wangho realized, instantly feeling a little lighter by watching the young puppy of the team jump up and down trying to reach Pyosik’s hand, who still had the higher ground on top of the chair, despite his rather small height.

The ADC at Wangho’s side just sighed, but didn’t tense up. He only squared his shoulders a little more in calm authority. That’s at least what Wangho could see, as he had assumed his position, half way hidden behind the Dom. Able to assess the situation, without having to face it head on.

“Don’t tease our Maknae, Changie”, Hyukkyu ordered. Strictly, but with a lingering fondness in his voice, that pulled the attention of the room to him.

Wangho took his chance to disappear further behind Hyukkyu’s back, as he felt the focus of the room shift.

He wasn’t really in the mood for people looking at him right now. With his eyes all puffy and his expression unusually sulky in the aftermath of the past afternoon.

“How is it, that you always just enter the room in a moment that makes me look bad, Hyung?”, Changhyeon complained in that moment, unbothered by both his presence and the tone his leader had just scolded him with.

“Intuition”, Hyukkyu answered dryly. “Don’t tease Seungminnie and I can’t run into you being a brat. It’s that easy.”

The leader was doing his job, but there was a suggestive note in Hyukkyu’s voice, that Wangho wouldn’t have detected before their conversation today in front of T1’s HQ.

Especially when his tongue curled around the word ‘brat’.

Interesting.

Wangho felt one corner of his mouth twitch to that. There was a certain knowing push and pull between the Jungler and ADC of KT. Something that wasn’t quite sexual tension, but still seemed to run deeper than friendship.

“Now the next question is…”, Changhyeon didn’t miss a beat, while Wangho was still analyzing the interaction. “…do I act like a brat because I subconsciously know that you’ll enter the room or are you summoned by my brattiness?”, the younger Jungler asked cheekily, still standing on top of the chair and looking down on all of them, while teasing the pack of sweet’s for Seungmin to take back, only to lift it up again when the maknae reached out for it.

Poor puppy.

“Is it really that important when the consequence stays the same?”, Hyukkyu asked and Wangho could basically hear the lifted eyebrow in his voice. He leaned his head between Hyukkyu’s shoulder blades, wanting to bathe in the normalcy of a conversation like this on a day like that.

Just a leader guiding his team, keeping the younger ones in check. A confident man, Wangho was able to fall in pace with and wouldn’t have to portray himself. It felt good to feel Hyukkyu take over the responsibility over the room with such ease.

“Well, if you’re summoned by my bad behavior, I need to keep on behaving bad or you will just disappear one day”, Changhyeon bantered back cockily and Wangho actually smiled into the fabric of Hyukkyu’s shirt to that.

“Smartass”, Hyukkyu scoffed and his voice vibrated through his ribs and spine directly into Wangho’s cheekbone. “Now get down there, before you’ll actually get hurt”, Hyukkyu commanded with the strictness of a leader and the authority of a Dom, laced with the worry of a big brother, as he put an end to the situation at hand by insinuating that it wasn’t funny anymore and real consequences would follow in case Changhyeon wouldn’t soon comply.

“Will you at least help me down?”, the bratty Jungler finally surrendered with a defeated huff.

“Absolutely not”, Hyukkyu stated. “You got yourself into this position, now get yourself out of it. Carefully.”

God, Wangho loved the nonchalance with which Hyukkyu weathered the storm. It reminded him of… He shook his head. This wasn’t the moment to think about this side of Sanghyeok. This cocky, self-assured mask, that he had fallen for nearly a decade ago.

It wasn’t him. It had never been him and Wangho wasn’t sure if this trail of thoughts would make him cry again, since HIS Sanghyeok had never truly existed.

Wangho should be done with it by now. Even when his Sanghyeok was somewhere underneath the insecurity, he was Jihoon’s now and Jihoon would be better for him than Wangho could ever be.

“Boseongie-Hyuuuung!”, Changhyeon cried out right then, his voice sounding like a siren, as it wailed from the top of the chair through the room and beyond.

Two seconds passed then Wangho heard a door clicking in the corridor behind himself.

He leaned back, looking out of the door and into the hallway to see KT’s Midlaner hurry towards them, his hair flopping with the slight jog, he had going on.

“Hey, Wangho, good to see you”, his former teammate greeted him warmly, coming closer, since he was the only one who could see him from his position behind Hyukkyu’s back.

Wangho greeted him back with a mumble and a nod, stumbling to the side and into the doorframe when Boseong kindly asked to pass through.

Hyukkyu used the momentum of his tumble and pulled him into his front, when all other eyes were distracted by Changhyeon and Boseong either way.

Wangho leaned back into the pull that dragged him against Hyukkyu’s chest and watched the scene in front of him unfold, now with a first-row seat.

Changhyeon was just reaching out his grabby hands for the newly arrived man, motioning for him to help him down.

“How did you even get yourself up there?”, Boseong asked then, after realizing what he had been called for, his hands stemmed into his hips, just out of reach of the small menace of a Jungler.

There was still undeniable fondness in his voice and the lack of a pending consequence.

Wangho saw a pattern there. The way that Hyukkyu and Changhyeon had interacted. So intimately, as if they both knew more than the rest of the room, the way Boseong now came in and took over the domineering air around Changhyeon, but in a different way than Hyukkyu.

“Doesn’t matter, help me down!”, the Jungler pouted, stretching out his arms to his Midlaner.
And Dom, Wangho’s mind provided his surprising suspicion.

That surely was new.

“How do you ask for something, Changie?”, Boseong asked with all the precious patience of a mother, that wouldn’t really be Wangho’s type.

His Dom usually commanded and he complied and Wangho wouldn’t want to have it any other way.

“Could Hyung please help me down the chair, I’m scared and my legs are short”, Changhyeon pouted, with a side of attitude.

Wangho would be disappointed when his Dom wouldn’t charge him at least five for that sort of brattiness, should he ever come to live in a lifestyle arrangement like it was apparent here.

Even though this wasn’t a scene, Wangho would never openly hit Hyukkyu with something like that.

He looked up at the ADC, who still held him gently in his arms, as he watched on himself. There was the same kind of skepticism displayed on his face, that Wangho felt inside himself. He was glad that they were on par with their opinions.

Still, Changhyeon and Boseong seemed to like to play that way.

“I’ll let that slide”, Boseong said, making Changhyeon grin and Hyukkyu roll his eyes.

This small crack in his stoic façade was enough to make Wangho blush a bit, as it felt like common ground was settling deeper between them.

A good match, beyond having both of their love interests present and mate with different people, he remembered their conversation from before.

Wangho turned away to hide his reaction, just in time to witness how the tall Midlaner put his hands to Changhyeon’s hips and lifted him down the chair as if he weighed nothing, settling him safely on the ground and accepting the hug he received in return with ease.

Sweet, but Wangho couldn’t imagine the side of Hyukkyu he had gotten to know today in Boseong’s place. Just as much as he couldn’t imagine himself in place of Changhyeon.

He was happy for them, but also happy for himself that it was Hyukkyu’s arms, casually draped around his waist now and not anyone else’s.

The whole situation settled and calmed down and Wangho felt how more and more eyes landed on the odd one out in the room. The orange tank right in the middle of the KT Rollercoaster.

“I invited Wango-yah for dinner”, Hyukkyu simply informed the room when all eyes were on them, before anyone could wonder.

“Hi”, he greeted the guys and soon found himself in Changhyeon’s hug, that awkwardly included both him and Hyukkyu, since the ADC still had a casual arm wrapped around his middle.

“Hyung, it’s so nice to see you”, the other Jungler grinned up at him and let his head get patted by Wangho, like he always liked to do it with younger and smaller people. Especially the ones he liked.

“There’s enough for everyone, nice to have you here, Wangho-yah”, Geonhee added from the stove.

Boseong patted his shoulder and Seungmin shily waved from the side line, as he listened to Geonhee explaining the menu, truly impressed with what the Support had managed to whip together with the help of his team.

It all felt like a warm welcome that Wangho didn’t deserve, but he swallowed the feeling for the moment and greeted the members of KT silently.

“I have to get back, I was just mid champ select, and luckily chose first, but they should all be done by now”, Boseong informed soon and motioned to leave the room again, after short nods and waves were exchanged.

“Have fun in game, but text me when you’re done, I need to talk to you about something”, Hyukkyu said, holding his Midlaner up by the wrist.

Boseong hesitated besides them.

“Something bad?”, the Midlaner asked, sensing a certain seriousness between the lines.

“Something personal, if you will”, Hyukkyu answered easily, hiding the gravity of the situation nicely with an innocent smile.

“Alright, I’ll hit you up”, Boseong accepted in return.

Hyukkyu nodded, letting the other man go, while simultaneously walking Wangho deeper into the kitchen.

“Thanks”, he just threw across his shoulder before guiding Wangho to the sink, his hand barely detectable on the small of his back, but undeniably there.

Even though Wangho mourned the loss of closeness, he obeyed easily, glad that Hyukkyu also felt the need to wash his hands after coming home and thanked him for the glob of hand soap, Hyukkyu drippled into his waiting palms.

“Water or lemonade?”, the older asked, already dragging him towards the fridge just a moment later, while the rest of his team had returned to dinner preparations and an easy chatter.

Wangho still held the hand towel to dry himself, a little confused with the passing of time.

He tried to put his thoughts in order before he answered.

“I’d rather have beer now, but lemonade will do”, he mumbled.

The thought of recalibrating his hard drive by getting shit faced sounded good on a day like that, but getting roped down and taken care of by Hyukkyu sounded infinitely sweeter, when he remembered the implications that the older one had made in front of T1’s HQ.

Wangho knew though that a good Dom wouldn’t touch him, if there was even one drop of alcohol in his system. Especially when they weren’t already intimately familiar with another.

“It’s your decision”, Hyukkyu said honestly, but kindly, confirming what Wangho had just thought about. “You know the rules.”

And Wangho did, which made the decision easy for him.

He liked Hyukkyu’s gentle lead. He wanted more of it, that much was for sure. He needed it. He craved to fall and be caught gently.

“Lemonade”, Wangho then said decidedly, feeling Changhyeon’s eyes snapping back and forth between him and the ADC.

A knowing look, but none of the other noticed and Wangho surely wouldn’t address it now.

“Good”, Hyukkyu said and nodded towards the asking gaze of his teammate to which Changhyeon grinned and winked towards the older Jungler with approval.

Knowing, accepting and understanding. Assuring him that it was alright, that his secret was safe and wouldn’t be judged here.

A careful smile tried to wobble itself into Wangho’s face, joining his blush.

This certainly was new.

Throughout all his years in the scene, he had never really treated it casually like that.

He had never mixed subbing with romance, much less with friendship or let anyone surrounding him know where he went to in particular nights. It had always been something that he left in the club, whenever he came in needy and later left again grounded.

Now seeing the understanding glint in Changhyeon’s eyes, he suddenly felt a wave of welcome and acceptance wash over him.

He had never realized that salvation had been so close for so many years. Just a call away, sometimes even sitting right beside him in Hyukkyu.

Absentmindedly, his hand closed around the can of lemonade, that was pushed against it, interrupting his pondering and shocking him with the cold and the wetness of condensation against his skin.

“Peach, right?”, Hyukkyu asked and Wangho nodded, still half-way up in the clouds with his thoughts.

He lifted up the can to look at it and truly, it was peach.

That was what he usually got when they met up in bars or restaurants. He wouldn’t have thought that someone besides Sanghyeok would remember that this had always been his favorite.

“Thanks”, he muttered with a sudden tinge of sadness.

Sanghyeok had always tried to take care of him and provide for him to the best of his abilities. Always going out of his way to try and be what Wangho had wanted him to be, but failing halfway through again, again and again. And instead of meeting him along the way, Wangho had pushed him off. Or at least tried to do that at times.

An average relationship was full of compromises, but Wangho wouldn’t have been able to settle for whatever situation had grown in between him and Sanghyeok.

He still didn’t want to settle for less than something that would make him feel wanted for who he was and that just hadn’t been what sweet, shy, softspoken Sanghyeok could provide.

Sanghyeok, who was happy to let Wangho lead, while cheering from the sidelines, all while Wangho had needed a guide himself. Someone who put his foot down and sat boundaries. Someone who he could fall in step with and not someone who fell into step with him.

Sanghyeok had just let him walk all over him all the time. It had made Wangho feel uneasy and vulnerable. Spinning out of control without any boundaries.

He had given his best to set rules himself, but that certainly hadn’t worked.

Looking at Sanghyeok’s sweet face and his gentle eyes, he couldn’t stay harsh and having him readily available all the time also wasn’t the best for someone who struggled to keep himself in check on his own.

All the while it had felt like he was addicted and Sanghyeok the drug he craved, only that he had never been able to make him reach that rush he wanted and needed.

Wangho wished Sanghyeok had said no himself sometimes, freed Wangho from the responsibility of staying away from this drug, this illusion on his own.

He wished Sanghyeok had made him fight for his attention or had thrown him out of his room now and then instead of happily inviting him in, interrupting anything he was doing, even when Wangho told him that he was ready to leave again when Sanghyeok was busy with a longer task.

But the Midlaner had always put anything aside and hurried to get ready for bed late at night, when it was Wangho showing up at his doorstep with his pillow in his arm, feeling alone and lost and looking for someone to lean on.

It had made Wangho feel even worse about himself all the time. To see Sanghyeok scramble to comply.

Still, his then teammate had never complained. At least not with words, but the lingering tension in his eyes had always made Wangho feel angry. Angry with himself, but also angry with Sanghyeok, who had failed again, again and again to take proper care of himself. He hated it, that looking at Sanghyeok was like looking into a mirror with all his flaws being reflected back at him. It had always made him want to push him further, to be what he had thought to be a better version of him, but now he knew that all of that had just worsened the situation as a whole.

Wangho kept his head down low, his thoughts lingering in the past, as he followed Hyukkyu outside of the kitchen and down the hallway into a spacious bedroom after some time that the older one had spent exchanging a few words with his team.

“You are distracted”, the Hyukkyu assessed, when he turned around to him and Wangho twitched when the word was suddenly on him again.

“I’m sorry”, he mumbled, unable to deny and forced himself to push the thoughts of Sanghyeok to the side.

He had thought over all of the things that had happened for more than a thousand times in the past few years already and had hoped that he had managed to put them all to rest, but this day had just been too much.

Being forced to let go.

Wangho had thought that he had already been at that point. Independent from his first crush, his first real love, but well… things were oftentimes different than they seemed to be at the surface.

He knew he should feel happy for Sanghyeok and Jihoon, but first and foremost, it was his own heart that hurt right now.

His soul felt like an open wound that was permanently scratched at, but what was new about that?

“Don’t be sorry”, Hyukkyu said in this kind of voice that tolerated no resistance. “It’s a difficult time for you and you need to come to terms with it.”

Wangho wanted to scoff, huff out a laugh that ridiculed those words just said, but he remained silent, his shoulders drawn up in defense and unable to look into the ADC’s eyes.

Instead, he sighed in defeat, nodded and acted like it was Hyukkyu’s bedroom that distracted him.

A neat living space.

In a general sense, it was nothing special, but considering that this was still supposed to be a dorm room, it was quite impressive on the comfort level.

Sure, the walls were still painted in a soulless white and there was an evacuation chart next to the door he had just stepped through, but there were some things that weren’t too usual for a simple dorm room.

Wangho’s eyes lingered on the spacious bed for longer than it might be appropriate, before sliding over a big closet and landing on another door that must lead to a bathroom.

A private one.

The last time Wangho had had his own bathroom was at GenG. The players of HLE shared these facilities with the exception of Hyunjoon and Dohyeon, who were presented and mated and allowed to share a family room.

Hyukkyu’s room was just about as big as that and he wouldn’t even need to share. At least that was what the only bed in the room insinuated.

The older saw him gaze around, of course.
Hyukkyu was just so AWARE. It let a soft and warm feeling bloom inside of the Jungler’s chest.

“It’s the advantage of living a bit outside of the city center”, he said and led Wangho to a couch across from a big TV on the opposite side of the sleeping corner.

And damn, Wangho would have seen it sooner, if his eyes hadn’t been so stuck on the bed before.

The couch greeted him with soft cushions and coziness when he let himself fall into it. The TV in front of him was even hooked up to different consoles. A teenager’s paradise.

Well, at least certainly for a teenager like Wangho had been one and deep in his heart still was.

“It’s my own setup”, the older one explained in that moment, taking his place next to Wangho and following his gaze to the controllers that were neatly hung up at the wall behind the TV.

“We don’t really have a common room besides the kitchen and since my room is the largest, we usually gather here for those kind of game nights, but I don’t think that’s what we should talk about now”, Hyukkyu’s voice was so incredibly kind and Wangho could really see it when he closed his eyes.

All the members of KT sitting here, laughing and snacking, while destroying another in a round of Mario Cart. Certainly something nice on a happier day.

“No, I agree”, Wangho said, taking a sip of the soft drink.

It was pleasantly cool, leaving a fruity sweetness on his tongue.

“If you are still up for it, that is”, Hyukkyu added, leaving him an out, but Wangho was determined.

He knew what he needed right now and he wouldn’t be ashamed of it in front of Hyukkyu.

“I am”, he answered truthfully, forcing himself to sit up straighter and meet Hyukkyu’s eyes.

There was no need in hiding. If anything, that would only hinder him in receiving what he needed.

“Okay. You know I need to ask you some things before we get started. Everything I ask, I’ll be answering too, alright?”, Hyukkyu explained gently, but Wangho just nodded.

It wasn’t the first time he went through a talk like this, but he was glad that his older friend took the lead right now.

He was ready to give his answers.

It was amazing to see the shift in his Hyung’s eyes with his nodded-out permission to go on.

How the lightheartedness vanished and a certain hardness slid in. Not necessarily strict and definitely not cruel, but attentive like a hawk looking for prey.

“For how long have you been doing this and what got you into it?”, Hyukkyu then asked, diving in deep with the first question already. “I don’t need specific details; I just want to know with what I’m dealing with here”, he elaborated further.

Wangho understood. It was surely something that was important to know.

He took a moment to think his answer over before he started to speak with a careful voice.

“I had my first contacts in the summer split of 2017. I wondered what I wanted from Sanghyeok, if it was just a relationship, a bond or something else, since I had such specific ideas that wouldn’t fit the standard, you know?”

He looked at Hyukkyu, trying to make him understand, but the ADC’s expression was already open, his smile encouraging him to go on.

And Wangho did.

“I searched the internet for a bit with all the things that I wanted him to do and be for me and landed on domination and submission and, in the greater scheme of things, on BDSM”, he let that marinate that a bit between them, before he spoke on. “At first, I was shocked, but it fit my desires, so I joined a community online and went to some beginner events, but didn’t actually start out until about a year later.”

Wangho sighed, remembering those times of confusion and embarrassment, knowing how many people talked about the scene in disparaging fashion.

Like they were stuck in a fantasy of playing alpha and omega, while not being able to find themselves a real partner. Living in delusions and doing things against the nature that fate had intended for them.

But it was more. So much more than just a roleplay of a romance novel.

The relationship of a sub with his Dom wasn’t trying to be the same as a bond between alpha and omega. It was completely different in its core, as he had learned, so much so that Wangho had even met some mated couples in the club, that just wanted to have some fun in that way.

He had learned that his desire for complete submission might not be the norm, but he had learned that like many other things, it was somewhere on the spectrum of normal after all.

He was neither sick, nor confused or living in a delusion.

Wangho wasn’t looking for an alpha (the thought of being bound to one for the rest of his life actually scared him), just for the kind of care that made him able to let loose once in a while.

To not soldier on all the time. To let go of all of his responsibilities and just let himself fall until he grounded and found the essence of his soul in a hidden corner of his mind, to play with it and his desires, until it was time to be a functioning human being again.

“I later found myself a place in a club in early 2019”, he added. “After that, I wasn’t that active during my time in China, since I didn’t feel that safe with the language barrier, but I renewed my membership as soon as I was back on Korean soil. Since then, regularly”, Wangho finished his story and waited for judgement, but Hyukkyu only nodded.

“I really started when I returned from China in early 2017, but my interest had spiked in the year before”, the older one stayed true to his word and answered his own question himself. “My then Support Tian Ye, Meiko, and I had many talks about dominant desires and whether or not they were okay to have when you’re not an alpha. We both had some tendencies and actually tried to scene together in late 2016. It didn’t work out well, since we are both rather dominant and didn’t quite know what to do with another. It was awkward, but I still joined a club, when I was back in Korea, learned the craft and had my first solo session with a Sub in the midst of 2018. Since then, regularly”, he explained.

Of course Wangho was familiar with Maiko, but he would have never thought. Though…

“Maiko did present as an alpha”, he remembered the news that had surprised him some years back. Not that the rather silent Support had presented at all, but the sub-gender had turned some heads in the past and left many people surprised.

“Yes, he’s an Alpha to another Support, Crisp. They are mated since 2020”, Hyukkyu said with a smile. “And very happy with another.”

Wangho nodded.

“I remember… that was during my time in China”, he hurried to say, remembering that the two players caused a bit of a ruckus when they presented for another during the pandemic restrictions, but he himself had been too occupied with his own team and too unfamiliar with the Chinese language to truly care about anything else at that time.

To be honest, Wangho himself also hadn’t been in the best mindset back then either. Not being allowed to leave the dorms to find distraction combined with an unanswered desire to find salvation in a Dom had really not been kind on him back then.

The homesickness resulting from that had been harder than anticipated.

“I never knew him that well, bit just from seeing him, I always thought Meiko would be more…?”, he carried on, ignoring his thoughts in order to remember the times he had played the Support that was only a handful months younger than him.

Hyukkyu understood where he was going and laughed out amusedly.

“Tian Ye is one of the sweetest and gentlest people that I know, but I dare you to try something against his will. He has you on your knees, tied up and waiting for his crop faster than you can ask for forgiveness”, the ADC said with a certain tone in his voice, that told Wangho more about the power dynamics between them and he was surprised.

Seeing him now, he couldn’t imagine Hyukkyu on his knees for anyone, but from what he insinuated...

“You’re still in contact?”, he asked a little nosy, but the older one didn’t seem to mind.

“Once in a while”, he said with a certain tone in his voice. “We still talk.”

“About that?”, Wangho inquired further, now more suspicious with the implications.

“About our scenes too, yes”, Hyukkyu admitted. “But rather about what we do and not who I do it with. I won’t tell him your name, except you want me to”, he said, leaving the question open for Wangho to answer.

“Nah, I’m good”, he lifted his hands up defensively in return. Maybe one day, if things worked out and went on further than a night spent together now and then, but right now, he was golden with keeping things as low key as possible.

“Have you ever scened outside of your club?”, Hyukkyu changed the topic and some part in Wangho was glad that he was back in shallow water.

He breathed through, concentrating anew, before he shook his head to the question.

“No. I had one or another one night stands outside of it, some short relationships but there was no scening involved”, he answered truthfully.

Hyukkyu took that in and thought a moment before he spoke on.

“So, I take it that you are used to a safe environment?”, he finally brought forth.

Wangho looked at him. Hyukkyu’s eyes were still as intense as before, even though his question seemed to be a little unspecific compared to the ones before.

“I never made bad experiences, if that’s what you’re asking”, Wangho replied slowly, shrugging his shoulders as he went, but Hyukkyu seemed to be alright with his answer.

“I was trying to inch myself towards that question, yes. But that’s very good to hear.”

The older one smiled again and Wangho tried his best to smile back this time. It WAS good. He had been lucky by finding a very good club, that actually took care of its members and not just the money they could generate. And it was even better that Hyukkyu bothered to ask.

“I do scenes outside of my club, as you know, but in recent times it was mostly with Changhyeon”, Hyukkyu explained and Wangho had to swallow a small sound of surprise.

Sure, he had seen the way they had interacted, but hearing it aloud was something else.

But when Hyukkyu had seen the supple shift in his expression, he didn’t react to that. Instead he talked on, elaborating along the way.

“Changie found out what I was doing when we were loosely dating at around early 2022 and got curious. I explained and taught it to him and he liked it. We were basically exclusive during that first year, but, as I think you’ve seen, we are into vastly different approaches. Since he’s back from NA we’ve only scened two times. Since then, he found himself Boseong, has managed to corrupt him too and tries to mold him into whatever he needs. The past two years I rather frequented the club, but only passively sexual and nothing permanent.”

Wangho nodded with all the information, noting to himself to try and speak to the other two, rather than trying to get some more out of Hyukkyu. He was interested to know more about Changhyeon and Boseong, but he also knew that Hyukkyu wasn’t necessarily one to gossip things that weren’t his to tell.

“So I don’t have to be jealous?”, he tried to tease instead, but with the confusion in Hyukkyu’s eyes, he knew that his little joke had fallen flat.

“No”, his Hyung stated. “When I scene with you, I scene with you, when I scene with someone else, I scene with someone else. As of now there is no exclusivity between us or me with anyone else”, he made sure to add.

His words weren’t harsh, but sure and Wangho tried to make it not too obvious, how he swallowed his breath.

This wasn’t for romance, he reminded himself. Hyukkyu was helping him, but there wouldn’t be promise rings exchanged.

As of now, as the older one had said himself.

“Alright, that was clear”, Wangho sighed, re-biting his bottom lip and lowering his gaze, when he felt his tone slip just slightly.

This was not a date, no matter how intimate it all felt.

No, he wouldn’t ruin it by acting childish now and stomping his foot. Whatever Hyukkyu had done, every kind word, every touch, every bit of understanding had happened to help him. To settle him and hold him together, until he was able to break apart in safety.

“Hey”, Hyukkyu said then, lifting his head again with a finger underneath his chin, so Wangho was forced to look him in the eyes again. “Let’s see it as a trial. Just us, getting to know another. No obligations and no expectations for either of us. That’s what I mean. Just me taking care of you for tonight. Is that okay?”, he wanted to know.

“It is”, Wangho breathed out, feeling more secure with the elaboration.

No pressure. Just Hyukkyu dominating him for once with the option to repeat and extend their arrangement if things went well.

That actually sounded pretty good.

~

After that, they talked on. How they liked their scenes to be, what they had done in the past and the kinds of partners they had scened with.

It gave Wangho some new encouragement to listen to Hyukkyu’s experiences and the way he functioned. He had hinted at the control he needed and the way he preferred mapped-out scenes before, but now Wangho actually understood.

Deep down, Hyukkyu was afraid to damage someone with his desires and while he was able to make it hurt, he would, of course, only do that when both parties were in agreement about the things that would happen.

In a scene, he would never even touch Wangho in a way that wasn’t consented on before.

That actually gave him some additional confidence, since Wangho would also hate a situation where he would have to decide about a change in the prospect of the scene while in the midst of it, when his head was already so far up in the clouds that his verdict wouldn’t be reliable anymore.

So yes, he could work with that condition very well.

It made him even more comfortable around Hyukkyu.

So much so, that it didn’t feel like a major break in the atmosphere when his friend asked him for his list.

His list, with wants and needs in a scene, together with hard and soft limits, so both Dom and Sub knew what their partners liked and disliked.

It would be the foundation to their future scenes. The guidelines and somehow, was also the proof that they were actually about to do that.

Wangho knew that he should be nervous or giddy with excitement, now that things actually got real, but deep down he was just relieved in his rising exhaustion.

He pulled out his phone and looked through the files he had stored up over the years, only to realize that his standard list suddenly felt inadequate to the situation.

In the past, Wangho had always filled out those questionnaires with no particular person in mind, least of all, someone he knew and trusted from the start.

Still, with Hyukkyu in the picture now, there were new things that he wanted to try, limits that could be pushed out…

After some contemplating, he dared to ask for a new document with his cheeks all blushed up, but found out that all his worries had been for naught, since Hyukkyu agreed immediately like he had expected the question to be asked.

The older one reached over to the low table and got out a tablet, that he looked through with precise movements of his elegant fingers, before he got interrupted by a quiet hum of his phone.

“Boseong has finished his stream”, he gave as an explanation after checking the message and handed Wangho the tablet with the pulled-up document. “Will you be alright when I leave you alone for a moment?”

Hyukkyu’s question was genuine, like he was willing to put his talk with his teammate off, should Wangho object. But he wouldn’t, he decided, clasping his fingers around the slim device in his hands.

“Go tell him, I’ll be busy anyway”, Wangho said, trying to let his voice sound surer than he was.

“I won’t be long”, Hyukkyu promised, lifting his hand to comfort him, but stopping a few centimeters off of Wangho’s cheek, leaving it for the younger one to decide himself whether or not he wanted that full-on touch.

Without much thinking Wangho closed his eyes and tilted his head to let it get cradled in his Dom’s palm, savoring the warm feeling it gave him. Warm and cared for.

“You’re making it hard”, Hyukkyu said softly, making him smile.

“Good”, he replied, remaining in the same position for a moment longer, before he pulled back again.

Hyukkyu gave him some last instructions, mainly focusing on immediately calling him in case he felt unstable while filling in everything, but soon left him alone.

Wangho could still feel the warm touch of Hyukkyu’s hand on his cheek when he made himself familiar with the layout of the list. Luckily it was pretty self-explanatory.

There always was a little description or a keyword next to seven columns in which he could mark the one he found fitting. Love it, like it, alright with it, soft limit, hard limit and an additional one where he was supposed to set a mark when he had never tried it before, with another one where he could check for legitimate interest should that be the case.

The words flew by his eyes and his thumbs ticked off by the second, since he certainly wasn’t new to filling in such lists, though a little more accommodating than he would have done it before.

Blindfolds, sound-blocking earmuffs, gags. All those things had been soft limits before, hard limits when combined, but now that he knew that it was Hyukkyu taking care of him…

Some things just weren’t limits for him anymore when it came to Hyukkyu. Some things suddenly sounded exciting.

Also, his time limit in restraints. Until now it had been an hour, but thinking about Hyukkyu, he could easily imagine two hours, three hours and three hours plus in restraints, having the ADC overview his endurance, caress every part of his body or give him the crop.

Wangho smiled when he said those new ideas on “never tried it” and “legitimate interest”.

Somehow, he knew that Hyukkyu would be amazing in massaging away the ache in his muscles during aftercare.

Other than that, he pretty much remained in his lane, nothing that could make him bleed while being handled correctly and nothing that left damage that required more than a day of recovery.

Wangho needed to think about his career and while sitting on a bruised-up rear worked rather fine and could sometimes even be exciting, he wouldn’t want to deal with torn up skin while he should concentrate on winning the 50/50 smite-fight on elder drake.

So, he made his way through, imagining himself in different scenarios like breathing through the stretch of his ligaments in bondage or whining with the painful lash of whips in discipline or kneeling to Hyukkyu’s feet and waiting for instructions, that he was already eager to fulfill.

He wanted to be good for him.

That was the most important thing.

Wangho wanted to make his Dom proud and earn any reward that would be given, even if it was just his Dom’s admiration and affection. Especially when it was a genuine “well done” and a smile from Hyukkyu’s mouth.

He wanted to show to Hyukkyu that he was worth it, even worth keeping if that would still be an option after tonight, but first of all, he needed the care. The security of a scene in which he would be able to let himself fall, to find footing on the ground and salvation in his Dom’s arms.

It didn’t take long and Wangho was through with the easy part of the list and finally came to the tiebreaker caption, that made him bite his bottom lip with something between nervousness and excitement.

Explicit sexual intimacy.

Chapter Text

Explicit sexual intimacy.

Wangho’s finger hovered over the soft limit, something that was a given for him when making the list. At least until now.

In all his time in the club, Wangho had rarely even thought about giving this kind of consent.

Everything that put his genitals in proximity with his Dom’s genitals had always been a hard no for him, though he had been alright with some toys now and then and here and there, depending on who he was with. Nothing fancy, since he had always been looking for a different kind of relief.

But now he hesitated, thinking about Hyukkyu.

How the corner of his mouth had felt underneath his lips and how the Dom’s kiss had felt on his own skin. Specifically, how it had awoken the need for more inside of him.

A kiss that wasn’t limited to his cheek, bodies that pressed against another without the barrier of clothes, licking, rubbing, sucking, pounding, it felt… alright, he realized. Even in the context of a scene.

Thinking of it, Wangho even liked the thought of trying it all the way with Hyukkyu.

Not just a vibrator up his rear and a cock-ring making things more exciting when he got spanked or flogged. Not just a quick handjob as a reward for good behavior during an intense scene, that had riled him up a lot.

Instead, he thought about Hyukkyu entering him with himself. A gentle shove of a smooth organic hardness, where he was rather used to the artificial slide of slicked up silicone.

A soft breath against his neck, chest to chest or Hyukkyu spread out over his back. The front of the handsome Dom’s hips pushing, then more and more slapping against his rear with every thrust. Both of them sacrificing a bit of themselves to give to the other, with Wangho restrained, yet eagerly awaiting every single touch his Dom would grant him.

That kind of intimacy, that he had never dared to ask for.

Wangho kneeling for Hyukkyu, his Hyung’s cock resting on his tongue, a hand in his hair to guide him. Stillness and movement, all out of his own control, but in that even more enticing.

Hyukkyu allowing him to cum, directing the when and where and how, like the conductor of an orchestra, letting him hold the last, sweetest note until he ran out of air. Pushing him further than he’d be able to manage on his own. Making him realize his own true limits.

Since Sanghyeok, Wangho had never really thought about getting intimate like that in a scene. Or rather since he knew the difference between need and desire.

His one-night stands and even his short-lived relationships had always been different from his activities in the club. Sexual and sensual compared to the clinical act of getting to drop, but it was true that he craved the mix. They hadn’t been short-lived for nothing, after all.

He needed both and preferred to get it in one place.

Though Wangho had tried to make implications to his exes in the past, he had never found someone he could share his most intimate desires with and looking at the club, he had never found anyone fitting the standards he put on a potential sexual partner.

And then there was Hyukkyu.

Kind, handsome and gentle, “I’m not your prince and this is not a date” Hyukkyu.

With him, Wangho definitely would. Gladly.

And he was just too happy to roll the ball into his Dom’s field.

After all, things would only happen when they both agreed to it.

With a slight grin, he filled in the following rows, way slower than before, since everything seemed new in a context of trying it in a scene and scarily exciting when he thought about trying it with Hyukkyu, since it was his hands, his tongue, his cock, they were talking about. His eyes that would take Wangho in when he was down to his feet, writhing, dripping, ruined, presenting and begging, begging, begging for more.

His hole wet and gaping from prior plays, his cock purple and hard as stone, needy for relief. Or caged up and tormented.

He bit his lip to rather concentrate on the concepts of the words he read, than on the images they invoked in his mind. Row after row, cross for cross.

After Wangho was finally done, he let his phone drop to the small table in front of the couch as if it had burned him. He panted to get some oxygen back into his lungs while trying to calm the raging feelings that threatened to tear him apart.

Fear and nervousness, but also arousal and excitement with the things he had just filled in and thought about.

“You look pale”, a voice suddenly startled the jungler to the core and if he hadn’t dropped his phone before, it would have definitely slipped his fingers now.

It was Hyukkyu, sitting on his desk chair across the room and watching him with interest.

“For how long have you been sitting there?”, Wangho managed to wheeze out, his hands still shaking with the scare.

“A while”, the ADC said ominously. “I didn’t want to distract you when I saw that you were still busy. Didn’t want to interfere.”

He shrugged like it was no big deal and Wangho must admit to himself that this might have been for the better, because looking at Hyukkyu’s eyes, he felt the need to change all his answers back to the normal kind, because, fuck, it was Hyukkyu’s hands, his tongue and his cock, he had been thinking about while filling in things like “Rough Penetration”, “Orgasm Denial” and “Genital Bondage” (varying degrees of yes) and “Watersports” (somewhere between the stages of no).

“I’m done now”, he tried to say calmly, instead of scrambling to work the whole sheet over again, even though he wasn’t able to hide his blush.

“Good”, Hyukkyu answered simply and got to his feet, edging closer while leaving Wangho enough time to deny him.

He didn’t and let the taller ADC return to his place right beside him.

“Was it hard?”, he asked full of empathy, sensing the tension in the Jungler, who was still wringing his hands.

There were some sarcastic remarks that came to mind, especially looking at the thoughts that had ran through his mind while he had been busy, but Wangho didn’t feel the strength to say them aloud and deal with the fallout too.

“A bit”, he admitted honestly instead. “I thought some things over and assessed them in context of me knowing you and being able to trust you completely.”

He looked up to see Hyukkyu’s reaction, but his surprise remained minimal and the excited sparkle in his eyes barely detectable in his schooled expression.

“Are you alright with all your answers then?”, he asked and Wangho agreed after thinking it over another time.

He had filled in what he felt was right. Everything else was on Hyukkyu to decide.

“Then I will review them now.”

It shouldn’t sound like a threat, but somehow it did.

Was he getting too far ahead of himself? All the things his survey suggested… all the sexual things he wanted deep inside. Did he even have a right to them?

This was Hyukkyu, his friend! Would he see him differently then?

Would Wangho get casted out when his Hyung saw all the things he was ready to do with him?

Would he take away his safe space again?

Wangho felt himself get even paler.

“Hey, Ho-yah”, Hyukkyu caught him by the chin, right before he could let his head sink again. “Everything is alright. You know this is necessary. I won’t kink-shame you and I will treat every single one of your answers with the utmost respect it warrants. Thank you for being so open with me and thank you for your trust. There is nothing you’d need to be afraid of.”

He forced himself to breathe through and nod, but he felt that Hyukkyu wasn’t buying it.

“Talk to me”, Hyukkyu asked gently and Wangho felt how some of the tension lifted off his shoulders with the safety of a command alone.

“What goes on inside your head?”, he asked further.

Wangho tried to school the trembling of his hands.

“I feel unstable”, he let the Dom in front of him know.

A part of his training had been to take a look inside of himself and speak up when something was amiss.

It wasn’t sex, it wasn’t chains or a vibrating butt plug up his ass, but it was as essential as choosing a safeword that was easy to remember, even in moments of distress.

It was part of the trust between Dom and sub.

“What makes you feel unstable? What’s the feeling underneath?”, Hyukkyu asked next, his eyes already analyzing the situation, like a good Dom that cared greatly for his sub.

He forced himself to calm down against the rising distress.

“I feel…”, Wangho started, hoping that the words would just fly at him, but broke off when there was nothing.

How did he feel? There were no racing thoughts inside of his mind right now, nothing that he could rattle down for Hyukkyu to decipher, there wasn’t some kind of abyss threatening to eat him and never let him go.

There were conflicting emotions instead, lingering year-old distress, but underneath all that? Just eerie silence where there should be something.

Should he be angry? Should he be sad?

It felt like there was no thought crossing behind his eyes beyond the obvious. But Hyukkyu hadn’t asked for the obvious.

Deep inside, it was only him, who stood in the eye of the storm and watched the world breaking apart around him.

“I feel… lonely”, he finally said, surprised with himself, but his friend only nodded, like it was alright and logical to feel that way.

“When did the feeling start?”, Hyukkyu then asked on, all professional, guiding him further.

“I… I don’t know”, Wangho struggled to find an answer, trying to remember.

Usually, he wasn’t someone who struggled with loneliness. He always had someone around him. His team, friends, his family, other kinds of loved ones or even his cats.

He had loads of fun in company and could even deal with just himself in a room for prolonged periods of time. When he craved contact to other people, he called up a friend, his mom, annoyed his cats or just went out for a coffee to go. It was harder to live a life in Seoul and be NOT confronted with potential acquaintances everywhere.

So no, usually Wangho didn’t feel alone, Wangho didn’t feel disjointed. At least on a normal day.

But what was normal on a day like this?

Wangho breathed against the annoyance that was rising within him as me made Hyukkyu wait.

It wasn’t Hyukkyu’s fault that he struggled.

He just wasn’t used to opening up like that to someone he considered a friend.

Strangely soothing, but just a little too close for comfort.

“Was it when you read my message in the group chat?”, Hyukkyu doubled down, when Wangho missed the time slot to answer.

The Dom just wanted to help him, he knew, so he let himself fall back to the moment when he had read the message for the first time. Or rather the moment he had made sense of it.

He remembered it.

The sudden enlightenment of putting two and two together. Sanghyeok’s name, Sanghyeok’s face right behind his eyes, combined with the knowledge that it was him this message was about.

Presented, not as an alpha, but as an omega instead.

It had caught him off guard. Shocked him. Filled him with fear and dread, but also with greed and envy.

How dare he present as an omega and who was there to protect him when Hyukkyu was out there looking for the alpha, who seemingly didn’t bother that there was his omega out there?

Who was there to take care of Sanghyeok when that idiot didn’t bother to step up? Who would guide Sanghyeok through his heat, dry his tears and kiss his cheeks? Who would tell him that he loved him?

Who even was the one, who had spelled an end to Sanghyeok’s and Wangho’s sad love story and didn’t even man up to take his price?

It had brought up the storm, the energy that had driven Wangho to the headquarters of T1.

He hadn’t felt lonely then.

Too busy with his circling thoughts, maybe even a bit angry that Hyukkyu had asked the whole group of LCK team leaders so obviously. Advertising a desperately heating Sanghyeok to anyone and everyone who batted an eye and could count together the obvious hints.

Offering this most precious guy up for the taking like a cheap slab of meat.

Wangho had been too busy to feel anything else back then with his mind all preoccupied with all the new information and old memories that suddenly made sense and played behind his eyes like a horror movie.

He hadn’t felt lonely. And also not when Hyukkyu had come by to keep him company.

Not even when Sanghyeok’s car had passed them by.

Wangho had been sad, regretful even, mourning for a past and a future that had never been his.

There had been Hyukkyu with him throughout it all. Literally chained to him, hugging him close, consoling him and holding his hand.

He remembered the calm, the content, the meaning he felt while being with Hyukkyu. Just the two of them. A unity against everything else.

“No”, he answered finally. “It started when you let go of me.”

That was it. He felt it deep inside, reliving how the emptiness had flooded him when Hyukkyu had taken away the cuffs and his hand out of his own. The realization made him rub his blushing face with his hands.

Still, Hyukkyu nodded.

“You are doing really good”, he encouraged him and a small smile came across Wangho’s face.

Normally, he would scoff when a friend said something like this in a situation like that, but right now, it just felt good to be praised in that familiar way.

It was something he knew. Stability, while everything seemed to be crumbling. His dom would take care of his needs.

“Then have you felt better before we let go?”, Hyukkyu asked on.

“Yes”, Wangho answered, more confident now.

“Was it the cuffs or us holding hands that you missed after that?”

The Jungler thought back to the safety he had felt pressed into Hyukkyu’s back or the casual arm around his waist when the older one held him in front of himself.

“You holding me. Taking over for me”, he admitted, much to Hyukkyu’s praise.

“Do you want to be close to me again, would that help you?”, he asked on.

Wangho thought for a moment, before he offered a softly smiled “Yes”.

Hyukkyu nodded again, thinking for a moment, before coming up with an idea.

“Then would you be open for a small scene?”, he then suggested, treating the new territory between them carefully. “Just as a trial before we do something larger. You get to calm down a bit and I get to review your sheet in that time. How does that sound?”

Wangho perked up at that, not even really thinking before he already nodded eagerly.

Whatever Hyukkyu wanted, he was fine with it.

“Alright, we’ll make it fast”, Hyukkyu smiled, seeing his eagerness. “I’m thinking about a short and light scene. Just to take off some strain. About thirty minutes long and non-sexual, then it’s dinnertime either way. I just want you to sit with me and fall into the mindset, if that’s alright with you and you are able to do that.”

Wangho nodded to that, mesmerized with how Hyukkyu’s voice changed more and more with every word he said. How his tone got harder and more stable. Not in a cruel way, but in a way that made him perk up more, sit up straighter and await commands.

Hyukkyu wasn’t playful anymore. Or… well, he was, but not in a way that many people outside of their bubble would understand.

“Please agree to anything I’ll ask you now verbally, when you made up your mind, so I know when to move on to the next part”, the older one reminded him and Wangho noticed, that it wasn’t just a change in Hyukkyu’s tone. The way he squared his shoulders and his eyes sharpened, also showed off how he changed into his role.

Like a shabby coat falling from his back, revealing demonic leather wings with sharp spikes crowning the edged. A form, that not many would expect. A certain kind of aura, that even surprised Wangho in its intensity.

“Yes, Hyung. To all of that”, Wangho hurried to add the last part with a submissive bow of his head, mentally already halfway to his knees.

This wasn’t just his friend he was talking to anymore, he thought as his heartbeat gained excited speed. This was the Dom, speaking with a slow, but clear and sure voice, his pitch dropped lower than he was used to. Wangho’s breath accelerated, as he felt the telltale signs of his body surrendering.

“Very good. Well done”, Hyukkyu praised to his words, while noticing all that.

“Do you like being praised as a part of a scene?”, Hyukkyu asked on and Wangho gulped, trying to find the appropriate way to express his wants.

“You can speak freely, Ho-yah, we haven’t started yet”, the older one threw in, noticing his momentary struggle.

“Thank you, Hyung. I don’t like humiliation and name calling. I get that enough online after bad games”, he allowed himself to say and watched a pretty little smile spread on the Dom’s face.

“I agree to that”, the ADC chuckled softly. “No humiliation and no name calling. Are endearments okay? For now, I’m thinking about standard ones like darling or sweetheart.”

Wangho’s breath hitched.

Hyukkyu was so casual about all that. It felt so surreal to now sit here and talk with him of all people about intimate things like that.

They were mapping out a scene for crying out loud. This wasn’t just some theoretical talk about things like favorite bands or favorite colors; this was actually happening right now.

For years, he had just thought about him as a friend and now that? It felt like he was dreaming.

Hyukkyu would be his Dom in this scenario and be calling him sweet things. Not just Ho-yah or anything his friends called him, but really, really sweet things.

“I like that”, he gave his blushing permission. “Can I ask something in return, Hyung?”, he allowed himself to push after in his high, hoping that he didn’t took too much advantage of the allowance to speak his mind, but Hyukkyu didn’t seem to be bothered by that.

“Sure, go on”, he said with a gentle smile that found an answer of Wangho’s face.

“What should I call you? Are you into things like Sir or Master or…”, he let it open for whatever Hyukkyu preferred. Ever since he had overheard two subs talking in the club with one mentioning that one of their past Doms preferred to be called ‘My Lord Emperor’ at all times, he rather leave it at an open-ended question.

“For now, Hyung is more than fine”, Hyukkyu luckily answered.

Wangho breathed through. Something ridiculous like calling someone “My Lord Emperor” would surely kill the mood for him.

“Thank you, Hyung”, he replied, quite intrigued that Hyukkyu would leave it at something that simple for the time being. He was sure that this would change up in case they were ever heading into a more intense scene, just to make it easier for him to let go of reality and switch into the mindset of a sub.

“Going on. I won’t do something complicated. We will stay dressed the whole time. Is that alright?”

Hyukkyu’s voice was gentle, solicitous even, but his eyes were sharp, looking out for any kind of distress in Wangho.

“Yes, Hyung”, he said distinctively, happy that they would start out slow.

Hyukkyu nodded to that, before he spoke on.

“Are your pants comfortable?”, he asked.

“Yes, Hyung, they are just sweat pants”, Wangho answered immediately.

“Good. I’d like to give you a cardigan though, so you won’t get cold in just your shirt. Is that fine with you?”

Wangho’s thoughts stumbled and he couldn’t help but look at his older friend in silent awe, before his head slowly started nodding.

“Yes, Hyung, very. But I thought you didn’t like sharing your clothes with other people. You don’t have to do it just for me. I can live with it.”

He did remember very well how incomprehensible some people’s desire to wear other people’s clothes had been to him and how Hyukkyu had reacted to that being something that Wangho, Sanghyeok, Minseok, Changhyeon and others liked to do.

Not only that, he had even said that Minseok and Changhyeon stealing his clothes in the past had rather bothered him than anything else.

Hyukkyu surely wasn’t fond of it, so why was he suggesting it now?

“There’s a big difference between me offering and giving something to someone and someone just taking what’s mine, leaving me to look for it while questioning my own sanity”, the older one explained calmly. “I’m offering that cardigan to you.”

Oh. That surely made sense.

“I want it, Hyung.”

To be honest, Wangho NEEDED it and he could see that Hyukkyu at least suspected that too.

“Then come on up”, Hyukkyu encouraged him, helping him up from the couch in the drowsy state that slowly but surely took over more and more of his consciousness, as he felt himself slip with the anticipation of the things to come alone.

Without more words exchanged, Wangho was guided over to the dresser and left standing with a softly gestured command while Hyukkyu looked through his clothes.

The cardigan he pulled out was huge and held in a light grey of woolen fluffiness.

He let him feel it and Wangho nearly melted with the softest kind of texture tickling his fingertips.

Hyukkyu commented the quiet, needy whine that left his mouth with nothing more but a pleased smile.

He had been very right and Wangho granted him that smugness gladly.

It found its place over the loose shirt on his slim shoulders, immediately engulfing him with warmth and coziness.

Hyukkyu just helped him slip his arms into the wide sleeves, before he guided him on, one arm now draped around his waist, since coordinating his steps got more and more difficult for Wangho.

He felt like being drunk, slipping more and more into something like a drugged-up daze, sluggish and shaky, but it wasn’t any kind of substance that made him be that way. It was just his nature. His need.

It was his mind slowly shutting down, because everything around him was just too overwhelming to properly deal with it now. All too much to deal with it alone.

Years ago, he had thought he was just tired when he became that way, only to find himself wide awake with a racing heart in his bed. Now he knew that it was him falling, dropping and in need for gentle arms to catch him, guide him and make him fly.

These days, it was rare that it got this far, that he actually needed a drop as badly as now. His regular appointments in the club usually had it all covered, but today had just thrown his out of every cycle or sync.

“What does kneeling do to you? Is it a good or a bad feeling”, Hyukkyu asked, after stopping his slow, shuffling steps to come to a hold in front of him.

“Depends on the context, Hyung. Am I being punished?”, he asked back, breathier than before, panting with the exertion of simply being alive.

“No. I don’t want to punish you. I want to make you feel better”, Hyukkyu explained patiently, forcing him to lift up his blinking eyes with a gentle finger underneath his chin.

“It calms me usually, as long as it’s a relaxed kneel and not a stress position”, he explained, stumbling and slurring, but holding Hyukkyu’s gaze as best as he could.

I’m still here, he wanted to signal. I’m still ready for the scene. I want that. I want you.

“I don’t think I could keep one right now”, he added honestly.

Stress positions were usually constructed in a way that caused ache of some kind. With muscles and ligaments stretched to the point where it turned uncomfortable or with the order to hold up his arms or a leg. It wouldn’t even need to be a strange angle, just the task of remaining unmoving for too long was enough to make it achieve the things desired, making it harder for him to physically comply with every second that passed, while making his brain focus in on that one small thing, that he was ordered to do, forgetting all else.

“I won’t put you in a stress position now. You are not in the right mindset for that”, Hyukkyu stated right with certainty of an experienced dom and Wangho was glad.

“Thank you, Hyung”, he muttered, tipping his head in a polite bow, while trying his utmost to keep himself up in something that reflected the sophistication, Hyukkyu deserved to be served with.

“You are very respectful and serious about it all. I like that, Ho-yah”, his Dom smiled down on him, tender and honest, praising him in a way that made him feel good. Doing things that Hyukkyu liked was very much what he wanted.

“I like it too, Hyung. I want to be good”, he admitted with a slight husk, feeling his very soul feel his need to be BETTER. Nothing less but perfection for his Hyung.

“You are, Ho-yah. You are very good. The best”, Hyukkyu rasped back, his palm cradling Wangho’s cheek and his thumb caressing his probably dark-rimmed undereye.

Wangho couldn’t help but sniffle with those words granted to him, that settled into his mind and filled him with contentment. They weren’t strong enough to overwrite the pending guilt, that threatened to drown him, but the thought that he could at least be good for Hyukkyu was enough.

Hyukkyu’s good boy. Listening to every command, fulfilling his every wish.

“Going on, I won’t touch you underneath your clothes, but I might touch your arms and hands or pet your hair and caress your cheeks, is that alright with you?”, he asked him, now holding his face up with both hands against the sluggishness that had only increased with the softly spoken praises.

Wangho was so close. So close, but fighting, as long as he wasn’t allowed to let go.

“Yes Hyung, very much”, he tried to say steadily, but failed miserably. He only held himself up by looking into those beautiful eyes that kept his gaze in an iron grip.

“I will sit down on that chair and you will kneel near me. You can keep your hands on your thighs; you can choose the position you hold them in. You can lean on my legs, if you want to. But I will give you the freedom to choose where you place yourself. I allow you to touch me from the middle of my thighs down. Everything above that is a hard limit for this scene, not including my hands”, he said slowly enough for Wangho to catch every word in his state.

“Yes, Hyung”, he breathed.

“I want you to remain silent and relax into yourself, so no talking unless I allow you to or you need to safe word out.”

“Yes, Hyung”, he confirmed.

“For this scene we will apply the streetlight scale, but I won’t ask you for status after we began and before the end, so you probably won’t need ‘green’ in the process. Since you are to remain silent otherwise, ‘yellow’ or three taps will be your pause button when there is something you need to address. Especially any kind of discomfort. To stop the scene as a whole, you can use ‘red’ or tap me five times. Can you repeat that to me?”

“No green, yellow or three taps pause, red or five taps stop, Hyung”, he repeated.

“Very good, sweetheart. This is exactly what I wanted to hear.”

Wangho puffed up a little upon hearing these praises, but stumbled, because that shift of weight caused him to lose balance. Hyukkyu’s hands still caught him easily, helping him back into his standing position.

“In case you forget anything of that, what is your regular safe word, Ho-yah?”, he asked, even though he must have already read it while looking over the list.

There was a bit of concern in his voice with Wangho’s near fall.

“It’s ‘Jungle-diff’, Hyung”, he explained dutifully either way, glad that Hyukkyu finally allowed him to sink onto the pillow on the ground.

It protected his knees from hitting the wooden floor with more force than it would be healthy.

Hyukkyu too took his place on his desk chair that he had turned towards Wangho, while the younger one tried to find his balance again, suddenly more grounded at his Dom’s feet.

The older one truly looked like a king, perched up high above him, with his gracious eyes watching over his every move, as he motioned through the positions he knew, trying to find the most comfortable one.

“You don’t need to spread your legs so far and keep your back that straight. As long as you don’t want that. This is not a punishment after all, Sweetheart. You can lean on me if you want to”, he commented slowly, that even Wangho’s subbed out brain could keep track of the meaning of his words.

He bowed his head in gratitude, agreeing to do exactly that.

With the gentle guidance of Hyukkyu’s hand, Wangho managed to edge closer, remembering that he was allowed to touch from the middle of the ADC’s thighs down.

He would do that. Gladly. To make himself feel most protected.

Hyukkyu’s legs spread a little further, sensing his intention and Wangho settled between them, carefully leaning more and more of his weight against the inner side of Hyukkyu’s knee, until he was able to fully slump against it with relieve.

“Good boy, my darling”, Hyukkyu praised. “We begin now. Thirty minutes, no talking, no thinking. I will take care of you, sweetheart.”

“Understood, Hyung”, Wangho murmured and let himself fall, feeling the dams break inside, as he completely surrendered to the commands and guidelines. Safe and guarded, as he felt the relaxation spread through his body, starting from where his Dom caressed his hair to where his legs lay folded against the pillow.

Deep inside him, the only thought that was left, was to obey.