Work Text:
It's been almost a week since the X games.
Bradley Uppercrust iii’s reputation? Gone
The respect for him? Gone.
His self respect? Gone, gone, gone.
He can practically feel the whispers. just like the stares of practically a thousand eyes on him as he walks into a room. At least he feels that way, he never actually catches their eyes.
Tank hasn't spoken to him yet. Why would he want to? His best friend had just attempted to kill him less than 5 days prior. He doesn't necessarily hate Bradley though. Maybe angry still, maybe not ready to talk yet, maybe hurt, burned, and scarred.
That's unbeknownst to Bradley, though, because Bradley hasn't seen him outside of classes or even at the gamma house.
Bradley feels.. bad.
Really.. really bad…
Thankfully, the gamma brothers had agreed to allow him to stay. Not because they wanted to, but because Bradley Uppercrust iii's dear old daddy had bribed them.
So, Bradley stayed. Not without insult or hatred or harassment of course, but he assumes his father didn't care about his dignity.
He never did.
Father dearest never dared to care for his son. He was too important for that. Too high up on the perch for any low life disappointment like Bradley.
~ ~ ~
It's been two weeks since the X games.
Bradley hadn't slept in days.
Summer was coming up. Bradley's father had told him not to come back that year which, to Bradley, was a plus. He wouldn't have to bear his father's glare of dissatisfaction or embarrassment. He'd be damned If he got another scar.
Though.. he doesn't think he'll be able to survive those summer months without some sort of interaction. Tank still hasn't spoken to him, but he has seen him around campus and the gamma house.
Bradley had tried to get his attention, but it only ended up with a glance, then silence. Bradley couldn't find it in himself to make himself continue talking, so he'd walk away.
He sat in his room a good long while, staring at the ceiling and just letting his mind run. The fire, crackling and roaring of flames that burn, burn, burn. Maybe he was like fire. Maybe all he'd do was burn. Scarring the people he loved. He's never known anything other than hurt. How do you give kindness when you've never known it, anyway? He hated himself for it.
Bradley came to terms with the fact he hated himself a good long while ago.
~ ~ ~
Evening came fast. Bradley hadn't even gone to class. He just threw on a clean hoodie and walked out the door. Ditching his skateboard so he could just walk. Just walk. Feel the hard, unforgiving concrete as his feet practically drag him forward. He knew he looked like shit. Tired, bags under his eyes and pale.
He supposed that's what being unable to sleep does to you.
He just wanted to be gone
‘if I were gone, I wouldn't hurt anybody anymore’
He didn't want to deal with this right now.
He. Did not. Want to deal with this right now.
He had lost track of where he was going a long, long time ago. Maybe he should have been paying attention, because he felt a gust of wind from a black furred boy on a skateboard.
Max.
No.
No, please don't do this to him.
He only came to terms with the fact he had hit the ground after he saw the shadow of the boy standing over him.
“What the hell, Brad, do you know anything about watching where you're- oh shit, are you good?”
He hadn't registered the words yet. Nor the fact that tears had been flowing from his eyes for a while now.
Where was he?
Did it even matter?
He sat up slowly. Feeling a sob build in his chest, he hugged his knees. Fuck, this was embarrassing. The boy he practically stalked and almost killed is asking him if he's okay? Why? Probably some unimportant reason- oh hey he's being lifted.
His arm is thrown around Max's shoulders and Max's arm is around his waist. Bradley barely has the willpower to walk anymore. He just wants to sit and rot away. Maybe the earth will have more use for his body than he himself or any other person does.
Bradley feels himself make contact with something soft. A couch? When had his eyes closed? Oh well, he's not opening them back up now. He's not ready to see the disgust on Max's face if he does.
He feels hands on his shoulders and flinches, a downright embarrassing sound escaping his throat as he is startled. He's Squeezing his eyes shut. He doesn't even want to know what he looks like right now.
Despite everything, though.. the hands are gentle. Warm. Kind and soft. Everything Bradley wasn't.
God, he can't deal with this.
He feels himself shaking under Max's hands, he distantly wonders if it's from his pent up emotions or his sobs. He half way doesn't care.
Oh, Max is still here.
Oh god, why is Max still here?
The hands are soon squeezing Bradley's shoulders just enough to bring him back to the land of the living, his eyelids still weigh a thousand pounds, but he can hear Max's voice. It's gentle. It's concerned.
Why is Max concerned about him? Doesn't he deserve to be laughed at right now?
Right, Max is speaking. Speaking to Bradley of all people. And he's not angry, not disappointed, not disgusted or embarrassed..
He sounds like he cares.
Oh shit, what's he saying?
“Bradley, breathe, in 1, 2, 3, 4. Hold 1, 2, 3, 4. Out 1, 2, 3, 4. C'mon with me”
Max coaches Bradley’s breathing until he's not hyperventilating anymore. He shakily wipes away his tears and finally opens his eyes.
He almost flinches back in surprise when he sees Max's face. He's concerned. Though relief floods his features faintly when he sees Bradley open his eyes. Max let's go of Bradley's shoulders and stands. Hands going in his pockets.
“C’mon man, I'll get you some tea or something and some tissues so you can properly clean yourself up.”
Embarrassment hits Bradley hard enough to knock the air out of his chest, but he can't just leave after that, can he?
…Can he?
~ ~ ~
Bradley decided to accept the offer of tea. His throat was dry and hoarse from crying so hard for however long that encounter was. Embarrassing as it is, he appreciated that little act of care.
Bradley sipped his tea at the table as Max cleaned up and poured himself some. The steaming liquid did wonders to get his throat to loosen up and his nose to start working properly again. Although.. The silence began to become awkward for Bradley.
Max joined him at the table. Bradley looked down at his cup. He was not about to look at Max's face right now.
They were silent a few minutes longer.
“Uhm..” Bradley spoke up. “I'm sorry.”
Max looked up, head tilting to the side in confusion in Bradley's peripheral.
“You don't have to be sorry, I don't-”
“For the games.” Bradley interrupted Max.
They were silent a few moments more.
Bradley put his head in his hands, his half finished tea pushed to the side carefully.
“I know you have to hate me or something, I don't deserve to even look your direction right now”
Max's hand is grabbing Bradley's arm
“Bradley, stop, I don't hate you-”
Bradley doesn't stop him, but he tenses and Max seems to take it as a sign to let go.
Max, don't leave. I can't be alone right now
“But I almost killed you! And my best friend! How can you forgive me after that?”
“Hey, look, it's obvious you're having a hard time and I put what happened aside because you were hurting, okay? Yeah, I'm not necessarily happy about what you did, but I'll get over it. You obviously feel bad for this, so why should I hold it over your head?”
Max's words struck Bradley silent. He looks up at the black haired boy in front of him, brows furrowed and searching his face trying to find something. Something other than the care he didn't deserve.
The two boys sat in silence for a minute, each one searching the other's face for something as if what they were thinking could be read on their face.
Bradley was the first to look away, feeling the exhaustion hit him full force. Resting his head in his hands again.
He just wanted to sleep.
~ ~ ~
Bradley and Max sat at the table for a while longer. Bradley trying not to doze off in the presence of his.. enemy? Acquaintance? What even is Max to him?
He almost didn't feel it when Max helped him stand from the table and took him to the couch.
Bradley began to protest.
“I need to get back to the gamma house, goof.”
Max just gently pushed him to lay on his side, which Bradley barely fought. He just wished that it had more hate in it. He wished Max had less care in the touch. He hated how his chest ached as Max covered him with a blanket.
“Just go to bed, Brad. You're a wreck, man”
Bradley gave a half hearted glare at the boy
“I am not..”
And Bradley felt himself drift into an uneasy sleep.
~ ~ ~
When Bradley woke up, he was sore, to say the very least. His shoulder was hurting and his jaw ached and his head throbbed.
He sat up after a moment of just feeling the pain as if he deserved it. Because he did.
…
Wait..
Where in the hell was he?
He looked around, finding Max sitting at the kitchen as he peeks through the doorway.
Bradley should leave. He really should leave.
But as he turned around, he heard a voice. Max with his damn caring demeanor.
“You're finally up. I have waffles if you're hungry”
“Not hungry, goof, I was just leaving”
Bradley wanted to kick himself for being so cold sounding, but now that he was back to his senses it seemed better to do. It was easier when he couldn't feel butterflies in his stomach trying to fly out of his throat.
Bradley’s chest ached as he saw Max's disappointment in his peripheral. He hated it. He briefly wishes he had no heart so it'd stop skipping beats in his chest. Internally kicking himself for even allowing himself any feeling on the matter at all. Get ahold of yourself Bradley, you're not 5, he thought while taking another few steps. Max stopped him with a hand on his shoulder.
“Where are you going?”
“Back to the gamma house, goof, I told you that already.”
“I know that, I meant why”
“Because you won't be there to bother me.”
“Oh, come on, I've seen how those guys treat you now. You're gonna go back to them?”
That makes Bradley stop. He looks back at max. He Takes a good look. A real good look at max.
He noticed. Of course he noticed. Max seems to notice everything up to what ticks him off and what buttons to press. Distantly, he wonders if he knows what buttons to undo as well but he very quickly gets rid of that thought.
“What, do you want me here, freshie?”
“I'd rather you be here than with those assholes!” Max made a gesture with his hand to the door, stepping up closer to Bradley as he did.
“You're acting like last night was an excuse for us to get along now” Bradley wanted that. God, he wanted that but his reasoning told him he couldn't have it. Push him away before he can make you do something stupid, it told him.
It hurts so bad when Max goes silent and looks at him with just a twinge of hurt.
But it hurt worse to know that he had caused it.
“Are we going to ignore the fact that you're the one who apologized to me or was it all just an act?” Max stood straight. Hands clenched into fists at his sides.
Bradley fought the tears coming to his eyes harder than he ever thought he'd have to.
Bradley was silent for a moment.
“I'm going back to the gamma house. Walk me there if you like me so much now”
He had meant for it to come out with more bites than it did. But it made Max soften either way, sighing. Putting a hand on Bradley's back as he lead him out the door.
They walked down the street in silence. The walk somehow calming Bradley enough that he didn't tense when he felt Max's gaze on him. For his own sake, he wished that Max were looking at him for less than a caring purpose, but all he felt was the empathy radiating from this boy.
This dumb goof..
Bradley had zoned out a little while ago anyway. He pretended not to see Max look at him in his peripheral from time to time as they slowly approached the house.
Tank stood outside, watching them approach. He greeted Max with a handshake and pat on the back.
“Hey there, sweetheart, what's the special occasion?” Tank spoke as if him and Max had been friends. Bradley distantly reminded himself that he had no right to consider himself tank’s friend anymore. Although it aches less to finally hear his ex best friend talk, he had to keep reminding himself that it wasn't for him to hear as he walked into the house.
A soda can hit his head as one of the gamma brothers, Kyler, snorted and laughed his way. Bradley paid no mind as he went up to his room. Forcing the emotion into numbness even as the ache in his chest worked its way to the back of his throat.
When he laid down, he just stared at the wall as if it had an answer to make him stop feeling. He just wanted to stop feeling. It hurt too much and he didn't know how to handle it. He remembered how his dad told him men weren't supposed to be as weak as he was. That he should be better. Do better. Bradley curled into a ball at the thought of his father, balling his fists at his ears and digging his knuckles into the brown hair.
He ignored the knock at the door and soft noise of it opening, then the click of it shutting.
“You've been a mess these past few days, you know..?”
Bradley flinched at the sound of tank's voice, shooting up and wiping away his tears hard enough to make his eyelids raw. A small punishment for letting himself get this way again at all.
When Bradley didn't speak, tank continued, finally meeting Bradley’s eyes even just for a moment since Bradley had tore his eyes away from tank's and looked at his arm with self disgust.
“I just.. I don't know how to feel about it all..” tank absently rubbed the twisted scar on his forearm that flicked up his bicep. Just like the flames that caused them.
Tank let out a dry laugh.
“It hurt. Watching you ride past me, knowing I was under that burning X.”
“I'm sorry-”
“Don't tell me you're sorry, I can see it in your everyday attitude now that you are, I just..” Tank sat beside Bradley on the bed. “I don't know.. I want to pretend it didn't happen. i just.. I thought our friendship was worth more than your reputation.. worth more than some boy..”
Bradley was already forcing himself to hold his breath in order to not let out the flood of sobs that wanted to pour out from his chest.
He felt arms pull him in to tank's broad chest and realized tank was giving him a hug.
“I forgive you, but that doesn't mean I won't forget.. but don't expect me to hold it over your head either.”
That finally got Bradley to let himself cry and hug the larger boy back. What can he say, he missed his best friend.