Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Josh woke up to the sound of someone knocking on the door.

He had fallen asleep on the couch in front of the TV, waiting for his dad to come back home. He checked the time on his watch. 5:27am.

The knocking persisted. "I'm coming!" Josh said, loud enough for whoever was outside to hear him. He got up from the couch and stretched his limbs. Still feeling a little groggy and confused, he walked over to the door and opened it. There stood his father, Tom Clarkson.

"You're back. I was a little worried you weren't coming home." Josh said. He suddenly noticed that Tom looked incredibly exhausted and downtrodden, his eyes were red and his face was dazed.

"Are you okay?" Josh asked, concerned.

Tom stumbled forwards and buried his face into Josh's shoulder. Josh had began to realise what had happened. Without hesitation, he wrapped his arms around his father, embracing him.

"It's Sam..." Tom choked. "She's... she's gone, Josh."

Although he was expecting to hear it, the news still hit Josh like a hard punch in the face. Holding back tears, Josh helped his father indoors and sat him down on the couch. He wrapped a blanket around him and went into the kitchen to get him a drink.

Once he was in the kitchen, Josh leaned on the table with his elbows and put his hands over his mouth. He still couldn't believe it. He wanted to scream. It wasn't fair. Sam had been one of the strongest people he had ever known. In fact, she may have even been the strongest given that she had fought her cancer right up until the very end.

In that moment, Josh had not only grieved Sam, but also his friends and family.

His father Tom had treated Sam as if she were his own. His life was going to be much more bleak going forward.

His best friend Finn Sharkey had become a much better person for Sam. He was going to be lost without her.

Lauren Andrews had been Sam's closest friend, the same way Finn was for Josh. Josh was dreading seeing Lauren at school today. Dreading inevitably seeing her so broken.

Harry Fisher was another friend who was close with Sam. She had been the first person in the school to show Harry any form of kindness. Josh knew that Harry had idolised Sam and knew that he was going to be devastated at the news.

And Denzil, Sam's younger brother. Josh couldn't begin to imagine how poor Denzil felt at this time. He probably loved Sam more than anyone, especially given that she was his only role model since his older brother Marley was at university and his other older brother Earl was in a maximum security prison doing time for murder.

Steadying his breathing, Josh went back into the front room to give Tom his scotch. After handing the shot to his father, he sat down with him and pulled him in for a hug.

There they sat together. Both of their hearts broken.

Chapter Text

"All I'm saying is that I think you're being a little too hard on Vicki." Harry said to Jess as they had their breakfast.

"You what?" Jess replied.

"Well, I tried to tell you Aiden was bad news." Harry continued. "I had a feeling he'd let you down at some point. All I'm saying is there's no point in throwing away what you have with Vicki when what Aiden did was inevitable."

"My life is none of your business, Pigface, and you'd do well to remember that." Jess snarked.

"I'm only trying to help." Harry replied defensively, furrowing his eyebrows.

Their mum suddenly came into the kitchen, visibly stressed. "Will you two please not start arguing again?"

"Sorry mum." Harry said. He looked at his mother and became concerned. "Are you okay?"

His mother sat down next to him and held his hand. "Listen, you two. There is an important assembly today. Something that desperately needs to be addressed. I'm counting on you two to be as good as gold. Can you do that for me?"

"Sure mum." Harry replied.

His mother smiled at him and looked at Jess. "Jess?" she said.

"Yeah. Okay." Jess said.

Their mother left the room after that. Harry looked at Jess.

"I think there's something wrong." he said.

"You always think something is wrong, Harry." Jess replied.

After a few minutes, the two of them both finished their breakfast, gathered their school supplies, and followed their mother into the car. They drove off to school in silence.

As they sat in the back, Jess noticed that Harry was still looking concerned. "Harry, stop worrying alright?" she said. "I'm sure mum is fine. I mean, she must be. She wants to make a speech just like she always does."

Harry smiled. Their mother however wasn't amused. She eyed Jess through the rear-view mirror.

"Oh, come on. Lighten up mum. I was just making a joke." Jess scoffed.

"There's a time and a place, Jess." she replied.

Jess decided to keep quiet from there on out. Whatever was troubling their mother was clearly quite a substantial problem, and she didn't want to make things worse.

Chapter Text

"Mrs Fisher has just messaged me back. She says there is going to be a minute of silence for Sam in assembly today." Tom said to Josh as they got out of the car. "Are you okay with that?"

"Yeah dad, I'm okay with it." Josh replied. "It's better for everyone to find out at the same time, and from someone who everyone knows and trusts. I'm just dreading how Finn and Lauren are going to take it."

"I know, son." Tom said. "It's going to be hard for all of us. Finn and Lauren and the rest of your friends are going to need you more than ever today."

As Tom said this, Finn, Lauren, and Amy walked up the them.

"I'll leave you to it." Tom said. "Come and get me if you need anything."

Tom walked in the direction of the school and greeted Mr Mead, whilst Josh turned to his mates.

"Hey guys." Josh said.

After the bell rang, everyone made their way into the assembly hall. Josh sat in-between Finn and Lauren, and Amy sat on Lauren's left. Kyle sat on Amy's left, and Harry sat on Kyle's left. Jess and Ronan were sat a row behind them, Aiden sat a few seats away, and a few more seats away from him sat Vicki. Denzil Kelly, Sam's younger brother, was sat a few rows in front, trying to hide his sadness. At the back of the hall sat some of the staff. Particularly Mr Scotcher, the caretaker. Miss Bryant, the secretary. Mr Chalk, the maths teacher. Mr Mead, the science teacher and deputy head. And Mr Budgen, the english teacher.

Mrs Fisher, the headmistress, made her way to the front of the assembly hall, and stood on the stage, speaking clearly into the microphone.

"Good morning, everyone." Mrs Fisher said. "Before the assembly begins there is an announcement that must be made immediately. I regret to inform you all that Sambuca Kelly, a beloved daughter, a beloved sister, and beloved friend to many, passed away early this morning. I'm sure this is awful news for many of you, as it was for myself. I'd like us all to have a minute of silence in memory of Sam."

As the minute of silence commenced, Josh looked around the hall, concerned for his friends. Poor Lauren was trying her hardest to hold back tears. Amy looked more serious than he had ever seen her, a solemn expression replacing her usually smug and righteous face. Harry looked absolutely shell-shocked, with a hint of panic in each breath he took. Worst of all, Finn had a blank expression, looking completely cold, dead, and empty.

After the minute of silence ended, Mrs Fisher spoke up again. "Now, a memorial for Sam will be held a week from now. It would mean so much to her family if you could all take the time to make it there. And on a lighter note, a fundraiser for the Macmillan Cancer Support will be held a few days after that. There will be food, games, and a raffle to be won. And all of the funds made will go towards the charity. With that said, I wish you all good luck in your classes today. And remember that if you need to step out for a break at any point, don't be afraid to ask a teacher. You have my full permission."

After the assembly ended, Josh and his mates made their way to their first class. After they entered the classroom and took their seats Lauren haphazardly tried to get Finn's attention as he sat down with a bleak, emotionless expression on his face. 

"Finn, please listen to me. It's going to be okay." she said. As she tried to put her hand on Finn's shoulder, Finn aggressively moved himself away and left the class.

That had been Lauren's breaking point. She held her head low as tears streaked down her face. Josh went over to her and put his arm around her.

"Aw Lauren, please don't cry. Finn's just dealing with it in his own way. I'm sure it's nothing personal." he said softly.

Lauren moved closer to Josh and rested her head on his shoulder. "I know. I just can't believe it. I keep thinking of all the times me and Sam argued. I... I was an awful friend to her."

"Don't say that. You were a great friend. You made mistakes but that's completely natural." Josh said. "I'm sure Sam knew that better than anyone."

Lauren looked up at Josh "You think so?" she asked.

"Yeah." Josh replied "In fact I know so."

"Thanks Josh." Lauren said as pulled herself away to steady her breathing. "Listen, I'm still worried about Finn. The way he looked in the assembly hall today... Will you please look out for him, make sure he doesn't... you know? Act like Finn?"

Josh smiled at her. "Don't worry. I'll make sure he's alright. He's one of my best friends, after all."

Chapter Text

Denzil sat at the back of the class leaning his head on his right hand. He just couldn't stop thinking about Sam.

I shouldn't have come in today. I'm not strong enough. he thought as Miss Chaudry waffled on in that condescending way she does about the nuances of Macbeth.

Emily James, one of his best friends, was sat next to him, looking concerned for him. She had been an absolute rock around this time. He couldn't thank her enough.

"Den?" she asked. "You know you can step out if it's getting too much for you."

"I'm fine. I don't need to." Denzil replied.

"You don't look well, Den." Emily said. "You look knackered. Your skin is peaky."

"Honestly, it's okay. I appreciate you worrying about me, though." Denzil replied.

Miss Chaudry stopped talking for a second, but then started again. "Now, as I've said many times before, I think Macbeth is a fascinating story. But what I find I'm even more fascinating is how much students talk when they don't think teachers are LISTENING, Denzil Kelly."

Denzil looked at her with a loathing expression, then went back to silently grieving.

"Excuse me? Did you just shoot me a nasty look?" Miss Chaudry said, her voice getting more shrill. Denzil shook his head, not making eye contact with her.

"Well, that's what it looked like from here." Miss Chaudry said. "And you'd do well to sit up straight and face me when I'm-"

"Just shut up..." Denzil interrupted in a quiet voice.

"What did you just say?!" Miss Chaudry shouted.

"Oh clean your ears out already, I said shut up!" Denzil said. "I can barely hear myself think with you yapping on, loving the sound of your own voice!"

"How DARE you speak to me that way!" Miss Chaudry said, walking up to Denzil. The rest of the class looked shocked. "You can bet that I'll be making a call to your mother!" she continued.

"Do what you want, you frog-faced cow! Like I give a shit!" Denzil replied, his voice filled with anger.

"You know what? I don't even think I will bother." Miss Chaudry said. "I reckon your mother is proud of the fact that she has raised a little thug!"

That was enough for Denzil. He lobbed a cup full of pencils at Miss Chaudry. Miss Chaudry recoiled back as the shrapnel hit her. Shocked at what he had done, but still seething with rage, Denzil made his way out of the classroom.

"No, you're not going to assault a teacher and then run away from all of your problems! GET BACK HERE!!!" Miss Chaudry shrieked.

But Denzil was halfway down the hall by then.

"You deserved that, Miss." Emily said.

"Don't you dare say another word, Miss James! Or you'll be getting sent to Mrs Fisher's office the same way he will be!" Miss Chaudry said.

"Are you not even aware that Denzil's sister just died?" Emily asked.

"Of course I- Well... no. But l how was i supposed to know?!" Miss Chaudry asked.

"It was mentioned in assembly today." Emily said. "Of course, I didn't see you in assembly, probably because you were too busy chatting on the phone to your Tory mates about how amazing you are. You're pathetic."

"Ooohhh! That's you told, Miss!" Rhona and Shona Mansfield, the twins, replied in unison.

Miss Chaudry opened her mouth to speak again, but her words failed her. Flustered, she sat back down at her desk.

"Just... do your own thing for the rest of the lesson." she managed to say.

Chapter Text

For almost thirty minutes after assembly had ended, Harry had sat in the boys toilets on his own, absolutely grief-stricken.

He still couldn’t believe it. Sam was dead. A girl who he considered to be one of his greatest friends. The only person who had been nice to him when he first came to Waterloo Road. Harry couldn’t think of a person who deserved to live a full and happy life more than Sam.

He wanted to run back home and cry into his pillow. But Harry had realised over the years that crying never made him feel better. Besides, how would he get out of school without a teacher seeing him?

He then had an idea.

No. He argued to himself. You promised you wouldn’t do that anymore.

But I need to.

You know how harmful it is.

I’ll do what I want.

Harry got up, and left the boys toilets. He made his way to the vending machines and bought as many sweets as he could with his lunch money. Twixes, Reeses, Snickers, everything he could see. He then made his way back to the toilets.

Harry sat down with his back leaning on the wall, and opened a Snickers bar. He was just about to scoff the entire thing, when he suddenly felt a pang of guilt.

You promised mum. You promised your sisters. And do you think Sam would want this for you?

Harry looked at the Snickers bar in his hand for a few seconds. Then he closed his eyes and took a few deep breaths. He started counting up to ten in his head.

For some reason, that had done the trick. Harry was relatively calm again for now. He dumped the sweets he had bought into the bin.

He figured his next step now was leaving the toilets and trying his best to stay strong throughout the day. He then noticed he had chocolate stains on his hands, as well as some on his jumper sleeves. Easily fixed. He rolled his sleeves up to his elbows so the stains on them wouldn’t be visible, and then washed the chocolate off his hands.

Harry had just been about to leave when Denzil Kelly suddenly came through the door. Without noticing Harry, Denzil stormed into the stall and slammed the door shut, locking it behind him.

After a couple of seconds of not moving, Harry slowly walked over to the stall. He realised that however much he was mourning Sam, Denzil must be mourning her twice as much. As he came to a stop, he heard sniffles coming from the inside of the stall.

“Den?” Harry said softly. “Are you okay, mate?”

“Please just go away.” Denzil replied.

“I can’t just leave you. Not like this.” Harry said. “Please come out.”

“Why should I?” Denzil asked.

“To talk?” Harry replied. “I know I can’t begin to imagine how bad you’re feeling right now, but I want to help.”

After a couple of seconds, Denzil unlocked the door and showed himself.

“Oh, Den...” Harry said as he saw the tears in his friend’s eyes. He put his hand on Denzil’s shoulder and guided him to where he was sat earlier.

They both sat in silence for a few minutes before Denzil spoke up again.

“I know she would’ve wanted me to be strong... But it’s so hard. I shouldn’t have come in today...” he said.

“But you still did.” Harry said. “And I’m sure she knows that you made the effort. You shouldn’t feel guilty for finding it hard.”

Denzil wiped his eyes. “I guess so.” he said.

“The news came as a shock for me today.” Harry said. “I was struggling to cope too.”

“Is that why you were in here?” Denzil asked. Harry nodded in response.

The two boys sat in silence for a little longer. After a few more seconds, Harry spoke up this time.

“Do you want to talk? About Sam?” he asked.

“I think so...” Denzil said. “How did you know?”

“When my sister Bex went missing a few years ago, she was the only thing mum wanted to talk about.” Harry said. “I think it made her feel better, talking about her. It actually made me feel a little better too.”

“Okay.” Denzil said. He took a deep breath. “I just wanted to talk about how amazing she was. When I was let out of prison after being framed by my brother Earl, Sam wouldn’t let me out of her sight for the first few days. She let me sleep in her bedroom at night. She made me breakfast in the morning. And she helped me with my school work. She was my favourite person in the world...”

Denzil’s eyes were suddenly filled with tears again. He buried his face into his hands. Without hesitation, Harry put his arm around Denzil.

“I’m so sorry Den.” he said. “I really wish there was something I could do.”

Denzil wiped his eyes and took a deep breath before pulling himself away. “No. I actually feel sort of better now.” He smiled a little. “I think talking about her might’ve worked.”

“You think so?” Harry said.

Denzil stood up. “I just need to stay strong. Get through the rest of the day. It’s what she’d want.” he said.

“That’s good to hear.” Harry said as he stood. “Just remember. You should never feel ashamed about finding things difficult. Especially on a day like this. And if you need to talk, you know you’ve got me and Kyle, or even someone else Sam was close to like Finn, Lauren, or Josh. I’m sure they’d find the time to talk with you.”

“Thanks Harry, for everything you’ve done.” Denzil said.

“It’s no problem. Chin up, yeah? I’ll come and check on you at lunch.” Harry replied.

He and Denzil both left the toilets before they were greeted by Emily.

“Hey Em.” Denzil said.

“Hey Den.” Emily replied. “Are you okay?”

Denzil looked at Harry. “I think I will be for now.” he said.

Harry smiled. “I’ll leave you two to talk.” he said before heading off.