Chapter Text
The Bastard Dragon – chapter 1
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Brooding.
If there was a word to describe the Stark family, it would be that. But today, more than most days, it applied to Jon Snow. The Bastard of Winterfel had once again went to brood alone to his favorite spot, a hill a little distance from Winterfel, just the very tops of the highest towers remaining visible from whence he stood.
That was where his father found him, looking north to where the infamous Wall would be, his horse idly grazing a few paces from the sitting boy. Eddard Stark knew this was not the first time Jon had come here to think, to brood, but usually he learned of his bastard son’s escapades after they had already happened.
With some worry, Ned noted Jon did not even turn to him at the sound of his horse approaching. When the lord dismounted and approached, he did so in silence.
He knew why Jon was here. It was the same reason as all the times before.
His lady wife. His Cat.
He loved her deeply, both for the woman she was and for giving him many children, but her southern ways often clashed with the North, with their views, with their way of life. The red-headed lady of Winterfel had never been a mother to Jon, nor did Ned expect her to be, but in a selfish part of him he had hoped for an understanding, understanding towards a motherless child with nothing to inherit.
But all she saw was a threat. And her fear led to resentment that manifested more and more often.
“Jon” he finally said, placing a hand gently upon the boy’s shoulder.
Jon did not react at first, looking intently north, his shoulder stiff beneath Ned’s hand.
“Lord Stark.” He finally uttered, the reserved response sending a jolt through Ned’s body.
“You know you can call me father.” Ned said with sadness as they once again fell into silence.
“Who was she?” asked Jon. At his father’s silence, he turned to him, Stark eyes meeting Stark eyes.
“Who was she?” he repeated “My mother?”
“I have promised you, we will speak of this-“ began Ned.
“Later? It is always later, later.” Uncharacteristically exploded Jon.
“If I am to be punished every day for it, at least I should know!” He continued, Ned looking away.
“It is not that simple.” Said the lord.
“But she is gone, isn’t she? What threat can a dead woman be to lady Stark?”
Ned closed his eyes, breathing in deep. The chill northern air sharped his mind, the sound of faint wolf howls reaching his ears. The rustling of the grass, the creaking of distant pine. But something stood out above them all, a whisper on the wind.
A long-buried plea, drowning out all else in its silence.
‘Promise me, Ned.’
“You must tell no one this.” Said Ned
“I understand.” Jon said
“No one, Jon. No one. Promise me.”
Startled by the sudden change in demeanor, the boy could only nod.
“I need to hear you say it, Jon.” Pressed Ned.
“I promise.” The boy whispered out, the moment - the knowledge he had been dreaming of for years now but a moment away.
Ned remained silent, grey eyes meeting grey as the older man looked for a way to utter the words he had be dreading for well over a decade.
“You will always be my son, you will always be a Stark.” He began as Jon could only mutely nod, his eyes wide in anticipation.
“But I am not your father. I am your uncle.” Ned almost blurted out, uncharacteristically, before taking a deep breath as shock began to overtake Jon.
“Your mother is Lyanna Stark… and your father is Rhaegar Targaryen.”
The northern weather seemingly stilled, the cloud stopped moving and in a rare display, sun shone down on the pair. All sound died around them though maybe it was just in Jon’s head.
For a thousand nights he had dreamed of knowing his mother and each night he conjured a different image of her, from a far-away queen of a forgotten kingdom to a lowly tavern wench. From a girl seamlessly living in Winterfel to a long-dead woman buried in an unmarked grave in the south.
But one constant always remained. His father. His father, who was truly his uncle.
He wanted to reject it, to believe it a jest. A different way for his father to avoid telling him the truth. He did not believe, he could not.
“Ho-Wh-“ the boy began.
“Jon” Ned cut him off in a firm but gentle voice. “I raised you as my son, alongside my own children, your cousins”
‘Cousins’ echoed Jon’s mind.
“I am proud of you, of the man you are growing into. You will always be my son.”
‘Lyanna…Rhaegar…’ “I am not a Snow, but a Targaryen bastard, born of rape and kidnap.” Said Jon as his body shook, falling down onto a nearby rock.
“No, Jon, no.” Ned came to kneel before him, taking his hand in his.
“I don’t know if they were married, but your parents loved each-other, never doubt that.” Ned said before giving Jon a flask from his waist.
After taking a swing and breathing in deep, Jon asked in a whisper:
“Why did you not tell me before?”
“There is no simple answer, nor is there one that will satisfy you.” Ned sat back down next to Jon.
“When the rebellion began, it was confusion and chaos everywhere. I went from a second son, never to inherit anything, to lord Stark. A Lord Stark that married his brother’s betrothed that he had never met and was fighting a rebellion against the family that had killed my father and brother and kidnapped my sister.”
“Robert’s rebellion” said Jon in confirmation.
“Aye, a rebellion built on a lie. But I would not know this until after Dorne. Rhaegar did not kidnap your mother, though only a handful of people knew before the end. She went willingly. They were in love.” Taking a deep breath, Ned continued.
“I found her in Dorne, three kingsguard guarding her. Guarding you.”
“So I was born there… but why all the secrets, why all the lies?” whispered our Jon.
“Before Dorne, before lifting the Siege at Storm’s End, was the sack of King’s Landing by the Lannisters. When Robert finally entered the city, he did not punish Tywin for it. And when Tywin presented Robert with the bodies of Rhaenys and Aegon wrapped in Lannister red, he dismissed their murders, calling them dragonspawn.”
“When I finally reached your mother, she made me promise to protect you and I knew you will not be safe as a Targaryen, bastard or otherwise. I could not gamble Robert’s love for your mother to be greater than his hatred of the Targaryens.”
Jon was lost, his frame appearing to shrink to that of a toddler.
“I am sorry, fat-unc-Lord Stark.” Mumbled Jon “It is too much…”
“If you would like, I can still be your father. I raised you as my own. I love you as my own.” Said Ned, placing a firm hand around Jon’s shoulder as his form began to shake with barely-held back sobs.
“Rhaegar…Lyanna… All my life I dreamed of knowing who she was, of tracking her down. Of speaking to her.” spoke Jon.
“And now that I know the truth, she is even further away. At a place I cannot follow.”
“Jon.” Began Ned, gently. “Jon, look at me.”
“Everything has changed, but…. Nothing has changed. You may not have my name, but you have my blood. You are not alone, never have been.”
“But I am a Targaryen bastard…” began Jon before his now bloodshot eyes widened in fear and shock “The Mad King is my grandfather.”
“Aye, that is true. But to focus on him would be a dishonor to all other of your ancestors.” Said Ned.
“Jon, look at me.” he forced the boy’s head up “The ghosts of the past will not dictate your future. You have been my son for fifteen years. I do not intent for that to change.”
“But what future do I have? Who am I even?!” asked the lost boy.
“You are my son.” Responded Ned with certainty.
‘Am I?’ echoed in Jon’s head.
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The warm walls of Winterfel did little to reduce the tension inside. If anything, they made it worse.
Everyone, from the lowest servants to the Stark family themselves have noticed the change in the bastard of the house, in the way he carried himself, in how he was distant from them all. Even the constant prodding of his favorite sister was met with silence and disinterest.
With each day, Jon became more akin to a wraith, silently roaming the hallways and when one needed to find him, he had but to look into the crypts. When the Stark patriarch was asked by his worried children, by even the ever-reserved Sansa about his son, he avoided the question or simply stated that nothing was wrong.
It was when Benjen came down from Castle Black did finally Jon speak.
“Lord Stark… Can I…. Can we speak, please?” asked Jon, interrupting a heated discussion between the usually quiet Winterfel lord and his brother in black.
Sharing a glance with his brother, Eddard was quick to agree.
“I want to travel…to leave… to explore.” Mumbled Jon, fighting hard to find the words.
“No. Wintefel is your home.” Responded all too quickly Ned.
“But you were happy enough to let me join the Watch!” responded Jon with sudden heat. “Why is this any different?!”
“You would be safe in the North, be it here or at the wall.”
“Now hold up, Ned. Safe at the wall?” asked Benjen. “Just what have you been telling the boy?”
“The truth. That it is an honor to serve in the Watch.”
An incredulous look passed over Benjen’s face.
“There is honor to be found, true, but the Watch is not what it used to be.”
“This is not about the Watch and you know it.” Responded Ned.
“Aye, the boy is confused, no thanks to your wife.” bit out Benjen
Eddard visibly deflated and Jon took this as his queue to advance.
“I would be gone for a little, I promise I will not make trouble or besmirch your name. It would be better for everyone. Lady Caitl-“
“Where do you plan to go?” asked Benjen as Ned remained silent, looking at Jon but not meeting his eyes.
“I don’t know…. The free cities… Bravos, Pentos, Myr, Volantis.”
“A merry old adventure.” Laughed warmly Benjen, bringing a smile to Jon’s face.
“Jon, please.” Whispered Ned. “I promised your mother to keep you safe. I cannot do that if you are half a world away. Do not force me to order you to stay.”
“Please, fath-lord Stark. I have to do this. It would be better for everyone”
“I cannot let you go alone.” Said Ned
“Then send someone with him.” Quickly added Benjen. “It is not unheard of for young lordlings to travel the free cities before settling down. I am sure Robb would be more than eager to go, too.”
“Now you want to send my other son away as well?” asked Ned in anger.
“You will send men to guard them as well! Gods, Ned!” Benjen matched his anger. “How far has Robb traveled? I heard about castle Cerwyn, is that it? He is your heir, brother, and you personally know how easy it is for him to become lord tomorrow.”
“How can he rule when he knows nothing of the world beyond his bedchamber?” said Benjen, calming down. “I am not asking you to throw them into the world. Send fifty men with them if you have to. But there is more to learning then books and maesters and you know it.”
A long silence hung before Eddard spoke
“Volantis is too far.”
Despite the seeming rejection, Jon’s eyes widened in anticipation, a glimmer of hope shining within. His uncle’s laughter further fueled his hope.
“Volantis is not far, Ned. It is not Asshai. Even with poor winds, they would be back in four months at most.”
“If they were to go directly there and straight back, yes. Four months. But they would be stops, delays, gods know what else.”
“Broth-“
“I’ll have to think on this. You ask much.”
Benjen got up and took Jon by the shoulder, guiding him out of the solar. When they both exited, the older man turned his nephew to face him.
“Jon, I understand how you feel. Do not be quick to lash out at the world and rush into things. Your father has done much to protect you. He does not want to lose you. Nor would your mother wish you be reckless.”
“He is not my father.” Said Jon as he looked away.
“He is your father!” angrily whispered Benjen “He raised you, he protected you, he sacrificed for you. His marriage, his honor. The whole world from Dorne to the Wall knows Eddard Stark laid with a woman not his wife. And that he later brough this child home to said wife. All this shame, just to protect you.”
The First Ranger softened before placing a hand on both sides of Jon’s head.
“Maybe he should have told you earlier, but you must understand the danger. If the king knows…”
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Lady Caitlyn was hatefully glaring at her husband’s seat, refusing to touch her meal.
The air was tense at breakfast, the lord of Winterfel having requested all of his children to be present for he had an important announcement. He had specifically requested even Jon to be there, sitting at the very edge of the table, his portion of food visibly smaller. When Eddard finally came, he sat down without a sound or looking at any of his children.
He began to eat, taking a bite of bread, seemingly oblivious to the explosive tension all around him. After swallowing heavily, Ned finally looked up.
“I have made a decision.” He began as his grey eyes landed directly on Robb.
“Robb, you will travel for half a year.” the spark flew and ignited the inferno. The table erupted into chaos, Arya and Sansa most vocal in their displeasure, both having wanted to leave Winterfel, if for different reasons.
“Silence!” said firmly Ned.
“Tr-travel where, father?” asked Robb, fear, uncertainty and excitement all mixed into one.
“You are my heir, but you know nothing of the world beyond our walls. My brother had traveled all of the North and visited Riverrun before the rebellion. I was fostered at the Eyrie along with Robert. Many others travel or are fostered. But you only know Winterfel.”
Robb mutely nodded at his father’s statement, excitement rising at Theon placed a hand on his shoulder in support, a tingle of smile creeping on the heir’s face.
“We will discuss the exact route later, but as an outline one can say the free cities down the Narrow Sea on your way there and on the return – King’s Landing, Riverrun.”
Wide eyes and grasping for words in disbelief, Robb could only stutter:
“Father-I, thank you, but, em-how? What? When?”
“You will not be going alone.” Continued Ned, ignoring his heir’s current state of disbelief. “A number of guards, atleast ten will be going with you. And your brother will be, too.”
All eyes turned to Bran, the shocked young boy asking:
“Me, father?”
“No.” spoke up Jon. “Me.”
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Their departure came surprisingly quickly, all things considered.
Barely over a month later the Stark family were gathered in the courtyard of the castle as twenty men and the two boys were preparing their horses for departure. Caitlyn with tears in her eyes was fussing over Robb, fixing his cloak and hair with Sansa close behind where as Arya was hugging Jon across the waist, begging for atleast three gifts from each city they visited.
Eddard remained a little behind, observing from a distance as his family said their goodbyes with an unreadable expression on his face. When he finally approached, he called both boys to him as the rest of the family remained in a circle around.
“A raven arrived yesterday from lord Manderly. He will be happy to host you and assist with arranging a ship to Braavos.” He began, his gaze shifting from one son to another. “It is on you to make a good impression and not shame our house.” He paused letting his words weigh in.
“This goes beyond the North, too. Be it in Braavos, Pentos or King’s Landing. YOU represent our house. With how little we travel, you represent the whole north. Now, what was the route?”
“White Harbor, Braavos, Pentos, Myr, King’s Landing, Riverrun, home.” Recited Robb clearly annoyed.
They have went over their route several times, discussed different options, different cities. While the heir knew not of this journey a month ago, now he pushed for every city, every stop along the way.
Lorath and Ibben were discounted early on for they had to pick a direction, west or south and with a southern heading they had more to see.
Braavos was an easy pick, the closest city to the North in Essos. Pentos and Myr followed as they headed south along the coast. While Pentos was too an easy choice, Myr and anything beyond was disputed.
Myr was the first of the Free cities that they would encounter that practiced slavery. While their father was originally against it, believing Braavos and Pentos to be enough of Essos, Robb pushed back, reminding him that this whole thing was for the purpose of learning and slavery was a disgusting but a present part of the real world.
In the end, their father agreed on Myr, but only Myr. Nothing beyond.
Eddard further explained that to continue on south, they would pass the Stepstones and that while they were generally safe and patrolled by the free cities, pirates still skulked in the more remote islands. Robb wanted to argue that Tyrosh was at the very beginning of the Stepstone and out of danger, but his mother put an end to this, saying Myr is one slave city too many and that Tyrosh was off limits.
Later did Theon jest that it was a shame that they would not visit Lys and the many, many brothels there, the Greyjoy remarking on the beauty and Valyrian features of the inhabitants. While Jon became lost in his mind, thinking of possibly seeing people with the fabled beauty of half his blood, Robb was quick to put down the squid, noting that the Ironborn was simply jealous that they were going and that he, as a ward of the Starks, was not.
“And?” pressed Ned, snapping both boys back to the present.
“Do not go over land in Essos.” Supplied Jon.
Nodding in short, tense movements, Eddard went on to give final directions.
“You will find a way to let us know where you are. Find ships bound for Westeros and leave letters with the captains to give to the first lords they meet on our side of the sea. There, they can send a raven to us. In King’s Landing, Robert will host you gladly, I am certain of it. As will your grandfather at Riverrun.”
Jon made a face at this, but tried to hide it. One can only dread to imagine how Lady Caitlyn’s father will treat him.
“Robb.” Ned spoke up again, fully turning to his heir. “This will be your first taste of leading. These men are under your command. But that also means responsibility. Bring them home.”
“Yes, father.” Responded Robb, standing at attention.
“You best get going, daylight is burning and it is over a week to White Harbor.”
A sudden awkward silence entered the yard before Robb realized everyone was looking expectedly at him, even Jon, though he had a small smile on his face.
“Mount up!” Robb said, trying his best to imitate his father’s lord voice.
As Arya rushed to hug Jon one last time and Caitlyn and Sansa approached Robb for a farewell, Ned turned to Jon, grey eyes meeting grey.
“I am proud of you.” Began Ned. “You will always have a place here.”
Jon nodded “Thank you…father. For everything.”
To Jon’s surprise, Sansa approached him after he had mounted, handing him a blue ribbon with a white direwolf head on it.
“For good luck. Please return home, Jon.”
While momentarily stunned, he thanked his sister ‘cousin’ for the gift before tying it around his arm. His momentary joy at this sudden affection was somewhat dashed at Robb bearing a similar one tied around his arm already, though he noticed his brother’s one bore more natural Stark colors.
In silence, the column of riders exited Winterfel’s gates and turned south.
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