Chapter Text
Louie woke up and looked at the clock. "7:00," it said, and Louie screamed.
"I am late for school! I have to get to school now!" said Louie, jumping out of bed. Louie put his clothes on really fast and ran out of his room because he is fast. "No time for breakfast!" said Louie as he ran past Louie’s nana.
"You will regret this," said Louie’s nana, leering at him from the kitchen stove, wearing aprons and oven mitts on her hands. Louie did not care. He was late! Louie ran outside and ran to the bus stop where people were getting on the bus.
"Olimar! Corgwin! Wait for me!" said Louie as he ran towards the bus.
"Hey Corgwin, its' Louie," said Olimar to Corgwin at the bus stop.
"He is late!" said Corgwin to Olimar before getting on the bus. Louie ran so fast to the bus and he got on the bus after Olimar.
"Just in time," said Louie, huffing and puffing like he was doing the Cupid Shuffle for the first time. Louie sat down next to Olimar, and Corgwin sat behind them, taking up both seats.
"I'm so bad," said Corgwin, laughing because he sat where two people could sit. Corgwin did this every day and no one bothered him, but they all knew it was against the rules of both man and God. The bus started and drove at the school and parked and they got out.
"We're at school now," said Olimar. "It is time to go to class." Louie was also at school, so he went to his first class of the day, English class. Louie did not like English very much, but he did not like any class very much that was not about running and going fast, which is what Louie does best. Louie got to his class and sat down in his seat.
"It is journal day," said Louie’s English teacher, Mrs. Sacho. Mrs. Sacho was tall and white and had gray hair and she was not pretty. "Take out your journals and put them in a pile and I will read one of your entries to the class." Louie took out his blue journal and ran to the front quickly and put his journal on her desk and ran back to his desk, all with his head down and not talking or looking at anyone. Louie was so fast that he did it first. Everyone else did it afterwards and slower.
Mrs. Sacho grabbed a journal from the pile and Louie knew it was his because it looked just like Louie’s journal. Louie knew this because he had written in it so many times it was crazy! Mrs. Sacho opened to a totally random page and it was the worst page she could pick. She began to read. "Dear Journal, I called the doctor today about a problem. I have a problem with my balls. They are itchy and it is difficult to sit still with them because they are so itchy. I have to back up against stucco surfaces and rub up and down on them to relieve the itchiness. No creams have worked. Creams only make my ball sweat smell like the breath of a thoroughbred and I think Alph (my girlfriend) noticed. I hope my doctor calls. Love, Louie."
"Oh no stop reading!" said Louie, but he reacted too late because it was already read, all of it. Everyone in the class laughed and Louie felt like an idiot asshole because now everyone knows all about his ball problems. Louie felt his rage build up inside him like a pool of lava in a volcano. "Stop laughing at me! Don't tell anyone!" shouted Louie but everyone was laughing so loud that they did not hear him and Louie was just so embarrassed and mad and sad but more embarrassed so he ran out of the class fast. Louie ran to his locker and opened it and screamed into it. He screamed "This sucks!" and Curse Words too.
"What is the problem," said Olimar. "Are you mad?" said Olimar. Louie was mad so he nodded. "You should tell everyone that it is okay to have problems with your balls and that they probably have problems that they do not want everyone to know about too so stop laughing at me." Louie thought Olimar was right because Olimar was smart. Corgwin was there too, so he said "Louie what's is this I heard about you're having problems with your penis and balls?" Louie was so mad again so he punched Corgwin and ran away quick.
Where Louie ran to was his next class (it is now second period so it was okay), and that class was History class. Louie did not care about History class. "Hey Alph!" said Louie, "Check me out!" and Louie did the default dance.
"Wow, cool, let's kiss," said Alph and Louie and Alph kissed right there in the class and some of the other people in the class watched but the teacher wasn't there yet so they didn't get in trouble and who is gonna tell Louie he can't kiss his girl friend in class. Alph kissed Louie so hard that he was thinking "Let's have sex" but he didn't say it because the teacher would show up by the time they started to have sex in History class. Louie kissed back really hard and it was sexy to everyone.
The teacher arrived and they did class but Louie just looked at Alph the whole time who was sitting next to Brittany. Alph and Brittany talked and they looked at Louie some times and laughed and Louie thought Alph was telling her about how awesome Louie kissed him but it was not. Brittany was telling Alph about Louie’s gay ball problems and Alph was Louie’s GirlFriend but she thought it was just the funniest thing ever. Class ended and Louie went to Alph quick and did not stop on the way. "Hey Alph why do you go telling Brittabt about how hard we kiss :)" said (and emoticoned) Louie with a smile on his face that meant that he did not care that Alph did this and really wanted him too because it made him look cooler.
"Actually Brittany was telling me about the problems with your balls and penis and butthole that every one found out about in your English class." Wow was Louie surprised, he did not know what to say.