Archive of Our Own ^beta

Ahn Suho was always brave. 

By the time he was five, Suho could already ride his bike without training wheels, tearing through the neighborhood with nothing but determination in his eyes and scraped knees to show for it. Every time he came home, teary eyed and dirt smudged, his halmeoni would scold him before gently tending to his wounds. He’d cross his arms and pout as she dabbed at the cuts, muttering things like, “I’m not scared of a little scratch, halmeoni. I’m a brave boy.” She would only laugh, shaking her head as if to say, of course you are.

By thirteen, that same fearless boy had grown into a teenager who didn’t flinch when faced with trouble. He was known for standing up to seniors twice his size, never backing down from a fight when provoked. Some even joked he was Byuksan’s “top dog.” Though he didn’t go looking for violence, he never tolerated disrespect, and when pushed, he pushed back harder. His classmates called him brave. Maybe reckless, too. But fear never seemed to stick to Suho, not even when he sat for the entrance exam of his dream school, Eunjang University.

In terms of relationships, Suho was never the type to stay in a committed relationship. He saw what love and betrayal did to some of the people in his life and he definitely did not want to join the club. For him, love was for the weak, and he was brave. Sure, he had some fair share of no strings attached relationships but nothing really fulfilled him. He didn't wanna complicate his life by involving himself in relationships he knew would never workout. Suho had his whole life planned out already-- graduate, get a good job, give his halmeoni a good life, and travel the world. Simple relationships and marriage were never in that plan he had made when he was just 16 years old. Maybe he'll end up growing old alone and raise a bunch of rescued dogs. But that's subject to change. Suho never really closed off the idea of actually having someone. It's just that it wasn't his priority for now. 

"Ahn Suho," He heard his friend and classmate, Yeongi, call out, her pointer finger poking his slumped posture on the table. "Class has finished. Let's go get Beomseok and head out for lunch." 

Groaning, Suho sits up straight, extending his arms and stretching them out. He looked around and surely enough, his classmates where dashing off to get lunch. His professor, Mr Park, was clearing out his desk and nodding off to Suho and Yeongi as he made his way out. He could hear Yeongi complain about how he was always treating school as his second home, but he paid no mind and looked out across the room and smiled when he saw that the weather was perfect-- not too hot and not too cold. Just the perfect weather condition for him to take a nice walk around the campus. And maybe annoy Baku and the others. 

"Are you even listening?" 

Blinking up at Yeongi, "No, but anyways let's go get Beomseok. I'm hungry--no, starved." 

"What a diva." Yeongi rolls her eyes, scoffing as she turns her back to Suho. "You should try not sleeping in class, Suho. I don't even know how you manage not to fail every class." 

Suho tunes her out and gathers his things, well his pen, wallet, and phone, before getting up and walking outside the room. The hallway was packed with students who are either rushing to their next subject or walking to the cafeteria. Either way, Suho doesn't pay that much of attention to his surroundings, stuffing his hands inside his jeans and only nodding whenever a few girls blushingly greets him. He wasn't really interested, but he wasn't an asshole to ignore them. Yeongi could only shake her head in disbelief as she watches how the girls turn a deep shade of pink when Suho nodded to them, as if he made the solar system himself. She didn't really get the hype. 

"You should say something to your fans next time," Yeongi laughs, slinging her backpack comfortably on her shoulders. After being friends with Suho from high school and up until their second year in college, she was used to the attention the other boy receives from girls. Sometimes, they'd give him gifts, foods, and even go above and beyond to make sure Suho notices them. Unfortunately for them, Suho would always turn them down, claiming that he didn't want to lead them on. Though the gifts stopped coming, he still receives a good amount of attention from them. "Maybe I'll cut a piece of your hair and sell it to them. But I still don't get why they're all up your ass." 

Suho snorts, "I'm that good looking, Yeongi. Never underestimate the good looks of the one and only Ahn Suho." 

Beomseok soon joins them at the table of the cafeteria, with his books clutched in his arms and his breath haggard from climbing down the stairs from the fifth floor. The trio talks and laughs animatedly, earning looks from the other students around them. Suho talks about how his halmeoni tried to set him up with someone but he accidentally didn't show up to the date, claiming that he had a sudden game that required his presence to play. Least to say his halmeoni was angry and didn't talk to him until he went home with her favorite pastry. He didn't really had any game that day but he was busy playing in the computer shop with Gotak and Juntae. And he was also sure his halmeoni had set him up with her close friend's grandkid, and as far as he could recall 10 years ago, they weren't his type. He doesn't even remember the name of the kid anymore! 

"By the way," Beomseok began, finishing off his smoothie-- which Suho could only look at with disgust. "The sports fest will be this Friday, right? Who will you be playing against?" 

Eunjang University is home to the greatest athletes and different field of sports. They took pride most especially in their sports fest. The Eunjang Sports Fest is a huge event in the whole academic year. During this, different teams from different departments will go against each other in lots of sports. This would last for about a week and a half before regular classes resumes.

Last year, Suho didn't really participate in any sports, just watching from the sidelines with his friends, and then slipping out to take a nap in an empty classroom or back to his dorm. If Baku didn't drag his ass to watch the basketball finals game, he wouldn't even bother attending. Though it was a different story this year because he was playing for the Athletics department alongside Baku and Gotak. He didn't really wanna play but Baku promised him free drinks for a year if he plays and if they win against the defending champion the Health and Medicine Department.  

Suho shrugged his shoulders. He wasn't really sure because whenever they'd have announcements in their groupchat, he would put them on mute. "I'm not sure but I think we'll be going against the IT department. Piece of cake though 'cause they were last place last year." 

"Don't be too cocky, boy." 

Suho sighs exaggeratedly before turning around and looking at Choi Hyo-man and his baboons. "Yah, did I lie? Which part 'cause I was so sure I saw you crying when you guys lost last year." 

"As if. This year will be different, you'll see!"  

Suho smirked, "Yeah? They'll finally sub you out? Good for your team if that happens." 

Without missing a beat, Hyo-man lunges forward and attempts to punch Suho, but the latter reads him like an open book and steps aside, making Hyo-man fall face first to the floor. The crowd erupted in fits of laughter as Hyo-man was helped back up to his feet by his friends. "That was a warm up, Ahn Suho! Watch out this Friday and you'll know who's the better player." 

The afternoon sun hung low, casting long shadows over the basketball court where Suho sat slouched on the bleachers, a bottle of water in hand and zero motivation in his bones. Below him, Baku, Gotak, and a few of their teammates were deep into practice--it was their department’s turn to use the court today. The sound of sneakers squeaking and the thud of the ball echoed, but Suho wasn’t moved. It was too hot, and honestly, he couldn’t be bothered. The last thing he wanted was to be drenched in sweat, chasing after a ball he had no love for.

He hadn’t even planned to be here, not really. Baku had practically begged him to come. “We need someone tall,” he’d said, whining about how Juntae was too small to keep up. Classic Baku—always recruiting like a desperate coach at the end of draft season. Skill? Passion? Who cares, as long as you were tall enough to block a shot. And unfortunately for Suho, he ticked that one requirement just a little too well. 

A sigh escapes past his lips as Baku and Gotak made their way to his direction. He knew what they'll blabber about. 

"Suho-ya," Baku calls out, shaking his head and walking towards him with his hands on his hip like a mother scolding her son. "You need to play with us so that you'll know the dynamics of the team!" 

"I told you I didn't wanna join, Baku, but you had to force me. I know I'll play well tomorrow anyway, promise." Suho said nonchalantly. 

"Bro, can you tell Yeongi and Beomseok to take pictures tomorrow during the game?" Gotak asked, taking a huge gulp of his energy drink and sitting beside Suho. 

"Yeongi can but Beomseok can't because he'll be playing chess tomorrow." 

Gotak nodded, "Honestly can't wait for the championship game. It's gonna be lit." 

At the word lit, Baku snorted. "Lit? Are you gonna set the other team on fire?" 

Both Suho and Gotak glanced at each other before looking at Baku deadpan. 

"Man, you're living up to the 99 IQ name." 

"My, my, my," A man suddenly trailed off, clapping his hands in a dramatic and slow way. "If it isn't Baku and his minions." 

At the sound of the person's voice, Baku and Gotak stiffened while Suho remains uncaring to the added presence. One by one, their teammates, mid conversation and sweat slick from training, began drifting toward them, curiosity drawing them closer. Together, the group slowly turned to face the source of the disruption--the uninvited presence that had just unsettled the court.  

"Baekjin, what are you doing here?" Baku gritted his teeth, eyebrows furrowed up at the tall boy in front of him. "It's not even your schedule yet to use the court." 

Gotak remained tensed beside Suho. Na Baekjin had that effect on people. He was the kind of man who carried power like a second skin. Sharp minded, calculated, and wrapped in an aura of quiet danger, Baekjin wasn’t just respected but he was also feared. As the reigning student council president and the captain of the defending champion team, his presence alone commanded silence. No one dared to challenge him, let alone speak unless spoken to, save for his professors, his trusted teammates... and Baku.

Baku had never backed down from Baekjin. Not once. There was a fire in him that matched the president’s intensity, and while he might’ve fallen slightly behind in sheer intellect, he made up for it with instinct, guts, and an unshakable will. He was on par with his strength too. Gotak sometimes teased Baku about how Baekjin might be his the one that got away because there was an unspoken past about them. 

"No, but you need to fuck off because our council will use the court to shoot for our team's official photo." Baekjin explained, smirking as he gazed at Gotak. "How's the knee, by the way?" 

Gotak smirked back, "Why? You're gonna tell that asshole to break them again?" 

"Hush, Gotak," Baku began, rolling his eyes at Baekjin and flipping him off with his middle finger. "Pay no mind to the haters, focus on the game, grind hard, and--" 

"What the fuck are you even blabbering about?" Gotak, embarrassed, turned to walk straight to hit the showers along with their other teammates. "You're making us look worse."

“Yah, Baekjin,” Suho called out, voice calm but laced with challenge.

He didn’t know the guy personally--just glimpses in hallways, the occasional run-in during last year’s finals but he wasn’t impressed. The stories didn’t shake him. Suho wasn’t the type to get intimidated easily. He could hold his own, and he knew it.

With a slight smirk tugging at his lips, he added, “How about a one-on-one sometime? I’m not too bad, you know. Might even give you a run for your title.”

Baekjin rose an eyebrow up, an amused expression on his face. “You talk big for someone I’ve never seen past the first round,” he said coolly, eyes locking onto Suho’s with quiet intensity. “But sure... if you think you’re worth my time--" 

"Baekjin." 

Suddenly, a boy, who was probably just around their year level, walked up to them. He wasn’t particularly tall--short, but not enough to stand out for it. His presence was quiet, almost forgettable at first glance, like someone used to blending into the background. His shoulders were slightly hunched, not from weakness, but from a kind of inward caution, like he was always expecting the world to be a little too loud. His pretty face was unreadable; expressionless, calm but it was his eyes that drew attention. They were striking, not just in color or shape, but in the way they seemed to carry something unspoken. Emotionless on the surface, yet somehow brimming with things unsaid. Like a storm had passed through them long ago, and all that remained was the silence after. At least that was what went on in Suho's head. 

Beautiful. 

Now, Suho didn't really believe in love at first sight. He thought it was just a bunch of bullshit. There was no way your world suddenly stops spinning, time slows down, and the only thing that you see is the person in front of you. There was no way you could tune out the rest of the world and nothing will ever matter anymore except for the person in front of you. Suho didn't really believe in that bullshit until he unconsciously looked at the smaller boy like the universe had written him into existence just for Suho. Like every breath he took was a secret miracle, and he was the only one lucky enough to notice.  

Suho's love at first sight happened in such an unexpected moment. One moment the air was thick with tension, the next thing Suho knew, the world paused just long enough for the air between them to change. He hadn’t meant to look. It was just a glance, the kind you throw carelessly in a crowded room. But when his eyes met his, everything shifted. The noise of the court faded. The chatter, the heat, even the bounce of the ball seemed to dim.

The boy was doing nothing special, just standing there, his gaze fixed on someplace else totally.  But Suho felt like he was the only one in the gym.

His presence had a magnetic quality to it, filling the area without effort or knowledge.  His heart wasn't exactly racing.  It slowed, as if perceiving something it had been anticipating without realizing it. 

Suho knew he was fucked.  He was lost at words, staring completely dumbfounded at the stranger with this lips parted slightly. He watched as Baekjin turned his attention to the smaller boy-- and oh God, he was so beautiful Suho couldn't believe someone as beautiful as this creature existed. He could write endless poetry and prose about his eyes and his pretty lips. He watched completely frozen in time as Baekjin and him retreated back to the backdoors of the gym, and no, Suho definitely did not immediately miss the presence of the pretty boy.

Later that night, Suho found out the cutie's name was Yeon Sieun. After a few pleads and a promise of playing this sports fest, he finally got Baku to spill about the boy he fell in love at first sight. Even his name was pretty. Yeon Sieun. A name as pretty as the face, Suho claimed.

With his back on his bed, phone in hand, his thumb hovers over Sieun's social media. The boy wasn't that active, but after stalking his Instagram and Facebook, he found out that Sieun was the vice president of the council Baekjin belongs to. He was also the top 1 of their batch, with Baekjin trailing behind him. He never posts on Instagram, just a picture of a cat. That's it. 

"Wow, how mysterious," Licking his lips, he stopped stalking once he found nothing more on Sieun's social media. "Hmm, maybe I should ask from a few sources." 

That few sources turned out to be Baku and Juntae. As they texted information about Sieun back and forth, Suho learned that majority of the students of the Health and Medicine Department were basically in love with his pretty boy. Almost every single one-- Juntae emphasized. Turns out, Sieun was basically perfect; he has a lethal face card, effortlessly cute, smart, and a crowd of admirers. But no one got Sieun's attention, not one soul. As Baku explained, Sieun was a reserved type of person. He prefers being alone with his head burried deep in his books, earphones on, and always gripping a pen as if readying himself in case someone attacks him from behind. He rarely shows what he’s feeling, giving off a cold, detached vibe, but even so, he has countless of admirers trying to catch his attention-- Suho scowled at that. 

Suho definitely slept well that night, dreaming of Yeon Sieun and his pretty face and alluring eyes. 

The next time Suho saw Sieun was on the second day of the Sports Fest. The Athletics Department had just wrapped up their match, adrenaline still humming beneath their skin as they made their way off the court, sweat drying on their backs and plans already forming to grab food after a much needed shower and change.

But Suho had been distracted the entire game. His eyes kept sweeping the crowd, scanning faces, waiting for a glimpse of someone who may or may not have been there. He wasn’t even subtle about it, craning his neck during breaks, barely reacting to the score, his mind clearly elsewhere.

Gotak had noticed. Of course he did.

“Focus, lover boy,” he muttered, delivering a sharp punch to Suho’s arm. “You’re playing like your brain’s on vacation.”

Suho only grinned, rubbing the sore spot, not even bothering to deny it. What was the point? God forbid a man yearns for Yeon Sieun. But Suho did, and at this rate, even the whole team knew it.

Just as they exited the court, Suho finally caught sight of him.

Sieun walked quietly through the hallway leading to the library, books held neatly against his chest, as if even the way he carried them had purpose. He wasn’t dressed to stand out; just a gray jacket layered over a black shirt, faded denim hanging loosely on his frame, simple and unassuming.

And yet Suho couldn't look away.

There was something about Sieun’s simplicity that made everything else feel too loud, too much. The soft fall of his steps, the way his eyes stayed focused forward, unreadable as always. It hit Suho like a wave. His breath caught in his throat, stupid and sudden, like this was the first time he was seeing someone real in a world full of noise.

He was beautiful. Not in the loud, obvious way people usually noticed but in the kind of way that stayed with you; quiet, enduring, and something sacred.

Suho's heart squeezed as he watched him pass, his fingers itching with the impossible desire to reach out, pull Sieun close, wrap him in a blanket and keep him safe from everything --even from the world itself.

Ignoring the calls of his teammates, Suho quietly followed Sieun, making sure that the boy won't notice him. The halls were empty considering that most of the students were in the big gymnasium or in other sports venue within the campus. The classrooms were locked to prevent students from lounging inside, and the only noise you could hear was the faint one from the gymnasium. Sieun still hasn't notice Suho, and the latter was trying his best to walk softly and quietly behind the boy. 

As Suho gazes at Sieun's back, all he could think of was mine, mine, mine. 

Gone were his plans of not considering commitment and rolling his eyes at the topic of marriage. All of it tossed out the window the second Suho laid eyes on Yeon Sieun under soft hallway light and too much silence. If he could, he would marry Sieun immediately and live happily ever after with him. Gone were the thoughts of him not believing in love and relationships because one look at Sieun and he was a goner for sure.

They hadn’t even spoken. Not a single word passed between them. And yet here he was, trailing a few steps behind Sieun like some hopeless fool in a coming-of-age romance, completely smitten. Completely doomed.

It was insane, and Suho was completely fine with it.

The library was quiet and empty, except for the librarian and Sieun, and now Suho who winced quietly as he shut the door as softly as he can. Sieun was now slouched over a table studying like no tomorrow. Cursing through his breath, he scanned around for a book to read. To no avail, Suho just sat down a few tables from Sieun. His team was probably still out celebrating their win, eating and laughing and basking in the high of victory. But Suho had slipped away the moment he could, shooting a quick text to Gotak that he was tired and needed to sleep.  

Sitting comfortably, Suho knew he was gonna stay longer than expected here. He wanted to watch Sieun even if he was a few tables away from him. The soft grip of the pen, and the sound of the constant click of the keyboard by the librarian was almost soothing. It was therapeutic to watch Sieun. 

It was peaceful just watching him like this. Enough to make Suho forget everything else, even the buzzing of his phone in his pocket. He felt like he could watch him forever. 

Until someone slid into the seat across from Sieun.

A guy who was tall and familiar. Suho recognized him vaguely, someone from Sieun’s department considering the signature Health and Medicine Department ID sling dangling on his neck. The guy grinned as he set his bag down, and without asking, leaned over to peek at what Sieun was reading.

Suho’s shoulders tensed immediately. 

Sieun looked uninterested, eyes not breaking away from his notebook and book. Suho grinned proudly at that. The guy seemed to take a hint that Sieun was busy and placed a small gift box on the table before slipping away and exiting the library doors. 

It was stupid. He knew that. He and Sieun hadn’t even spoken. But knowing that didn’t make the bitter twist in his stomach go away. Suho didn't know what came up to his mind when he stood up and quickly followed the strange guy. What am I even doing? 

“Hey,” Suho said flatly, sharp enough to cut through the silence. The guy stopped in his tracks and faced Suho, brows lifting in surprise. 

"What?" That made Suho even madder, but why in the hell is he even mad for? 

Suho didn’t hesitate. “Yeah. I need you to fuck off.”

The guy blinked, confused. “Excuse me?”  

"You heard me," Suho squints his eyes at the guy. "Sieun already has a boyfriend." 

The guy scoffs, laughing a little but he actually looked kind of scared? "No, he does not. From what I've heard, he's single since forever." 

"Newsflash, buddy, he isn't. Now fuck off before I beat your ass."  

Suho knew that he shouldn't lie. After all, his halmeoni didn't raise him to be a liar, much more to lie about someone. She would smack his head if she knew what he was doing. He should’ve felt guilty. But instead, he doubled down. After lying to the guy at the library, Suho made it his mission to scare Sieun's admirers. He just hates the idea of people stealing his Sieun--even if Sieun didn’t exactly know he was his. Call him delusional but he just can't have that.

Any time someone stared too long, flirted too obviously, or so much as breathed in Sieun’s direction with intent, Suho was there. A glare here. A passiven aggressive remark there. Full on intimidation, and when necessary, he'd tell them that Sieun has a boyfriend already, to which they assumed that it was Suho. When Beomseok and Yeongi caught wind of it, they stared at him like he’d grown another head.

“You’re insane,” Beomseok muttered, rubbing his temples.

“A complete psycho,” Yeongi agreed, mouth full of chips. “You need to be fixed.”

Suho just shrugged, completely unbothered. “What? It’s for love. Sacrifices must be made.”

Beomseok groaned. Yeongi laughed like she was enjoying the drama too much. 

It doesn't even end there. Somehow, Suho had convinced Juntae to tell him where Sieun lives. No, he wasn't obsessive, it's just that he has a plan in mind.

It started with a question Suho asked way too casually during lunch. The cafeteria was loud, and in their table Gotak was arm wrestling with Baku, Beomseok drinking his healthy smoothie again, Yeongi nowhere to be found, and Juntae and Suho were casually eating. 

“Hey, Juntae, by any chance, do you know which dorm room Sieun stays in?”

Juntae didn’t even blink. “What are you planning?”

“Nothing illegal,” Suho said quickly. “Just... romantic.” 

"You have to tell me what your plan is, Suho-ya," Juntae pushed up his glasses, amused expression etched on his face. "I don't want Sieun to be in danger." 

Suho nodded and smiled. He looked around before leaning in closer to Juntae, "I'm gonna write him love letters." 

Late at night, when the dorm halls were quiet and no one was around to judge him, Suho would slip out with a letter tucked into his hoodie pocket; handwritten, folded neatly, sometimes with a pressed flower taped to the back, other times with a dumb doodle in the corner because he couldn’t help himself. He was so in love it hurts. He would finish his shift earlier than usual to have the time to write meaningful messages like “You looked really focused in class today. The way your eyes move when you read... it’s unfair.” and "Don't forget to eat, Sieun! I wish I could take care of you myself. You'd look so perfect in my arms." 

He'd slip the small red notes under Sieun's door, his heart pounding in his chest and a proud smile stretched on his face. Every time he left a note, he imagined Sieun reading it in silence, brows furrowed in thought, maybe even smiling just a little. 

Two weeks after Suho started that ritual of his, he began to casually walk around the Health and Medicine Department, trying to catch a glimpse of Sieun. As usual, the boy was hunched over a table studying like he was programmed to do it. The first time Suho got 'lost' somehow to this part of the campus, he would spot Sieun in the same exact position and with the exact expressionless face. But his eyes would be the part that Suho stares at the most from afar. He would get random and weird glances from med students as he strolls around their part of the building, and stopping just to watch Sieun. He wishes he could put a smile on that boy's face someday. A man could only dream. 

It started off small. A soft curl at the corner of Sieun’s mouth. The kind of thing most people wouldn’t look twice at but Suho noticed. His breath hitched as he watched Yeon Sieun let out a small smile. And this was big because Sieun never smiled. Not in class, not even when he was announced as top 1, not even when his professors praised him constantly. He was always stoic and void of emotions. But now, Suho watches as his Sieun smiled with a red love letter that looked like the one Suho gave last night in his hand. Could it be? Was Suho dreaming? 

Yeon Sieun was smiling; the kind that sneaks up on you when you’re alone and happy and no one’s supposed to notice.

He glanced around, no one else seemed to care. But to Suho, the world had stilled. 

Maybe it’s because of the letters. He’d poured so much of himself into them. His jokes, his feelings, his dumb metaphors about stars and constellations and how Sieun made gravity feel optional. He never signed his name. He didn’t need to. He just wanted to give Sieun something to smile about. Some softness in a world that always seemed so sharp. 

Suho didn't move even when the bell rung. Instead, he leaned back on the wall and watched Sieun across the open doorway. He just stood there with a fluttering feeling in his heart. He felt like he had won the lottery-- hell, even better than that. 

Fuck, He thought. I'm so gone for him and his pretty eyes. 

On a particular Friday night, Baku dragged Suho and the others to a party held by Gotak. Somehow, the latter had convinced his parents to allow him to throw a party while they were away, claiming that it was just a small get together. The party was not that small, a mix of familiar faces from both departments crammed into someone’s apartment, dim lights casting warm shadows on the walls. Music hummed from a speaker in the corner, low enough to talk over but loud enough to fill the silences.  

Suho wasn’t even planning to come until he heard from Beomseok that Sieun might be there. "Yah, how'd you even know he'd be here?" 

Beomseok rolled his eyes, "I said might, jeez." 

"He doesn't look like the type to party, to be honest." Yeongi said, taking a drink from her red solo cup. She was bobbing her head to the beat of the music, along with Beomseok who was looking around in amazement. 

That 'might' turned out to be a 'definitely'. Suho's eyes widened in shock as Sieun walked in with Juntae trailing behind him. He was wearing a white shirt with dark denim jacket and jeans to pair the jacket. His hair wasn't usually like the style he wore to school but it was somehow brushed up as if he ran his fingers through his hair minutes before coming inside. He looked like he smelled like flowers and baby powder. Suho just wants to smother him up and kiss his cheeks. 

"Oh wow, didn't know he was friends with Juntae," Yeongi muttered.

Beomseok nodded in agreement, "Everyone has a soft spot for Juntae, even the ice prince himself." 

Suho was still frozen in shock by Sieun's beauty. He couldn't think straight and couldn't form the right words. "I--uhm, why--why is he here?" 

Both Beomseok and Yeongi laughed, "Thought this is why you decided to come?" 

Just go talk to him, his brain said. It’s not that hard. 

Suho couldn't count the times when he felt brave enough to do something. He did so many things that were scary to others but felt like nothing to him, and fought too many people twice his size and age. But talking to Sieun? He wasn't brave enough. 

Seiun was standing near the sliding balcony door, shadowed by the curtain, a plastic cup in hand, stance relaxed but his expression was unchanged as always. He was not speaking to anyone.  He was just existing in his own quiet bubble.  Despite being in a crowded environment, he appeared to be alone. Juntae probably went to get some finger food for them. Suho had been staring at him in a non creepy way for a few minutes now. 

He shifted from one foot to the other, pretending to sip his drink, brain spinning in a dozen directions. Beomseok and Yeongi left to get more drinks and probably find Gotak, and Suho was a nervous wreck. Sure, he was a confident man. He knew he looked good and he knew his worth. He had a few admirers too who'd willingly worship the ground he walks on. He could outshine anyone with his charm and wise mouth in an instant, but this? His knees wobbled a bit. 

Should I go talk to him? He contemplated in his head. Suho didn't even know what he was gonna say for goodness' sake! 

He could do it right now.  He'd walk across the room and say anything like complement his jacket, inquire if he liked the music, or even make jokes about how awful these parties were.  Or maybe he'd introduce himself as if they hadn't been in the same places for months--as if he hadn't written love letters and hidden them beneath a door he'd never dare to knock on.

He took one step forward and then froze. He was such a coward. How could he just stand there and stare when the love of his life is literally just across the room?

What if he doesn't want to speak to me? I should've just stayed home. 

Suho looked down at his cup, then back at Sieun.

You’ve already told him everything, he thought. Just not to his face.

He gripped the cup tighter. Come on, Suho. You’ve faced worse than a conversation.

Slowly, he started walking across the room. 

Suho moved carefully around the room, dodging abandoned solo red cups and groupings of students without turning away from the boy.  With each stride, his heart rate increased in his ears, and the music faded to a faint murmur. Up close, Sieun appeared even more ethereal.  His features were delicate, as if they had been drawn with gentle hands.  The beautiful lighting from the neighboring lamp framed his face, putting a warm glow across his skin.  His hair was slightly ruffled, and a few strands fell over his eyes as he stared down at his phone.  

Suho suddenly forgot how to breathe. Staring at Sieun felt like a Cigarettes After Sex song, and God, he's so beautiful. 

Sieun's beauty was unmatched. It was like God took His time to create such breathtaking creature. Every single detail of his face made Suho feel in awe. His lashes were long, his lips gently pressed together in thought, his expression soft but unreadable. And his eyes, when they finally lifted to meet Suho’s, made everything else vanish. It was like he was falling all over again but this time in an endless abyss called Sieun's eyes. 

"Hi." 

Sieun blinks at him. "..hello." 

"I'm Ahn Suho from the Athletics Department." Suho barely manages to say. It seemed like his throat was caught up from nervousness, and his hands were shaking by his side. God, the affect Sieun had on him was insanse. 

"I know," Sieun bluntly said, face void of expression as always but Suho didn't know if it was just his imagination but he swore he saw something flicker on Sieun's eyes. 

Suho scratched the back of his head, "How?" 

"You're loud in the court, and you threatened Baekjin to a one-on-one." Sieun explained. 

The other boy let out a nervous laugh and nodded, "I guess I am quiet loud. Sorry if that annoys you."

Sieun tilts his head to the side, and Suho's heart hiccuped. "You're not annoying." 

"Oh thank fuck," Suho breathes out a sigh of relief. "I would've taken out my vocal chords if you were annoyed." 

Silence fell between the both of them. Suho looks around to find his friends but they were nowhere to be seen, and Sieun goes back to staring at his phone as if it was the most interesting thing in the world right now. He knew the other boy wanted to be anywhere but here right now. He knew Sieun would rather bury his head deep in his books than stay for so long in this loud party. 

“I’ve seen you around,” Suho offered gently. “In the library. You read a lot.” 

"You watch me a lot." That sounded like an observance rather than a question. 

"So you've noticed?" 

Sieun didn't look surprise, but his captivating and hypnotic eyes stared deeply at Suho's. "Why?" 

"Because you're the most interesting person to ever walk in any room." Suho admitted, a sheepish smile on his lips as he eyes the other boy in front of him. 

They stared at each other for a few moment, drinking up the sight of each other. No one bothered to say anything, and Suho was afraid that if he moved, this moment that he had dreamed of for so long would be gone. The silence was soft--even when the music was on full blast and the people were chattering everywhere.  It was a softer kind like Sieun was letting him stay, like he hadn’t said something stupid after all.

“Those notes,” Sieun said, eyes still on him. “You wrote them, didn’t you?”

All of a sudden, Suho felt like the world around him was frozen. Should he be honest? But what if Sieun sees him as a creep instead who is obsessed with him and follows him around? 

“I…” He swallowed. “What notes?”

Sieun sighed, threading his fingers through his hair. “The ones under my door. The stars, the dumb doodles. The one that said I look like I was dropped here by accident.” 

Suho blinked rapidly. “Oh God. You read that one?”

Sieun nodded, "It was kind of ridiculous." 

“Yeah. I was not in the right state of mind when I wrote that.” Suho rubbed his face with one hand, groaning quietly.  

Sieun shrugged, and to Suho’s surprise--he smiled, the tiniest curve of lips. But it was there and it was real. "I liked it." 

"How did you even know it was me?" Suho asked, a smile making its way to his lips. A breathy chuckle escaping as he tries to look at anywhere but Sieun's haunting eyes. "I mean, was I that obvious?" 

"I wasn’t sure at first. Who was leaving them. Why." Sieun shrugged, still locking his eyes on Suho. "But I started waiting for them. Every night." 

Was this even real? Suho thought. Finally, the fruit of his labor is finally here. After following Sieun and believing he didn't stand a chance, here they are now. Sieun liked it. Liked his letters. And waited. 

“I didn’t know if you’d hate it,” He said. “I just wanted to make you smile. You don’t smile a lot.” 

Sieun didn't speak for awhile, allowing himself to break eye contact and proceeding to stare at his black converse. “I smiled because of you.” 

The party was beginning to thin out.  The music was now softer, and the majority of the guests had either left or dozed off on Gotak's couch.  The air smelled strongly of munchies, fruit punch, and too many people in one place. It was time to go, and Suho didn't bother finding his friends because they'd just crash here. And to be honest, he didn't want to go home either because Sieun by his side was enough to make him feel like he was on cloud 9. He didn't know what he did in his past life but maybe it was good considering how everything unfolded tonight. 

Suho stepped beside Sieun in the corridor, both of them heading toward the door.  Neither of them said much, but the stillness between them was warm and no longer uncertain.  Just comfortable. Sieun looked like he was gonna pass out from sleepiness. In Suho's eyes, he looked like a sleepy cat. 

"You wanna go home?" Suho asked, steadying Sieun who was about to stumble. Cute. 

The other boy nodded, rubbing his eyes and yawning a little bit. The sight was enough to send Suho in a cardiac arrest. God help him. 

Suho hesitated for a moment, then cleared his throat. “Hey,” he said, voice a little too soft. “Uh… before you go…”

Sieun looked up, waiting.

“Would it be okay if I… got your number?”

“Why?”

Suho gave a breathy, awkward laugh. “So I can stop leaving anonymous love letters and just text you stupid things directly?” 

“No more dumb metaphors about stars,” Sieun said, but the faint smile on his lips betrayed him.

Suho took the phone with both hands like it was a sacred object. “No promises.”

To: My Sieun 

Hiii! It's me Ahn Suho from the party. 

and also the guy who may or may not have compared you to fallen stars a few times.

Hope you got home safe xx

Suho giggled and kicked his feet up in the air as he blushed over the nickname he set for Sieun. He was finally back in his dorm after he dropped Sieun off at his dorm room, and the first thing he did was text Sieun. 

From: My Sieun 

i figured. 

the tragic poetry gave you away. 

To: My Sieun 

tragic?? excuse me 
i prefer passionately unhinged and emotionally sincere

From: My Sieun 

sure.

let’s go with that.

To: My Sieun 

We should sleep. I bet u r tired

From: My Sieun

sure.

goodnight.

To: My Sieun 

Goodnight xx 

Eunjang University was packed with solemn college students when Monday rolled by. The day was painfully ordinary again, except for the way Suho’s heart kicked into overdrive whenever he spotted him. Don't blame the guy for hanging out way too much in Sieun's department, he just wanted to catch a glimpse of Sieun. Even Baku, who was always oblivious to everything, began to notice his absence in their group hangouts. But he'd always tell them excuses like he had to do extra credit to make up for some of his missed assignments--but no one really believed that he'd gone from absolutely not caring about his studies to the sudden current interest. Beomseok and Yeongi knew--even Gotak, but they didn't want to jinx anything yet. 

Yeon Sieun was standing by the vending machines near the campus courtyard, thumbing through his phone like he hadn’t just made Suho’s week by texting him two nights ago. The taller boy didn't really remember how he managed to go all the way from his department to Sieun's. It was like he was programmed to go here every break he had. 

Now, standing a few feet away, Suho realized he hadn’t even thought of an excuse. No snack in mind or drink. For a second, Suho considered walking past, pretending to be chill. He stuffed his hands into his pockets, trying to act casual and cool, like he hadn't been scanning every corner of the building hoping to see that familiar silhouette. 

He failed.

“Hey,” Suho said, sauntering over with all the fake confidence of someone who’d rehearsed five different greetings in his head and picked the worst one.

Sieun glanced up. “Hi.”

A short word, flat tone. But there was a flicker of something in his eyes--recognition, maybe even quiet amusement. It was better than being ignored or just watching from a far really. Suho will take whatever he can get from Sieun. Small wins, yay. 

Suho shoved his hands into his pockets. “You survived another day of classes. That’s worth celebrating.”

“Barely.” Sieun hummed. He didn't question why the boy was here again. 

Suho smiled, leaning slightly against the vending machine. “Buy you a drink? As a thank you for not blocking my number yet?”

Sieun raised an eyebrow. “You’re assuming I haven’t muted you.”

Suho put a hand to his chest. “Wounded.”

“I didn’t mute you.”

That shut Suho up for half a second longer than he meant to. He glanced down at his shoes, suddenly shy. “Cool. That’s… cool.”

Sieun moved to make a selection on the vending machine, eyes scanning the options. Suho watched him, noting the way Sieun’s fingers hovered just a second too long over the keypad. He wasn’t really indecisive--Suho knew that. He was stalling.

Interesting. 

“Also,” he added casually, “you forgot to send a letter last night.”

Suho looked at him, startled. “Wait, you noticed?”

Sieun didn’t look at him, just pressed the button for iced coffee. “You set a pattern. I got used to it.”

Suho’s heart did a full somersault. “Wow, so you were waiting for it?”

Sieun finally looked at him. “Maybe.”

“You’re going to be the death of me.”

Sieun took his coffee from the machine and handed it to Suho instead.

“You owe me a letter, Ahn Suho.” 

And with that, he walked off, leaving Suho standing there, stunned, holding a cold can and grinning like an idiot. 

You owe me a letter.

Four words that had looped in his head all day. He pulled out the small box from under his bed--his stash of letters, paper, dried flowers, tape, all of it. He chose a plain sheet this time. No doodles, no extras. Only words that best describe how he felt about Sieun. If given a chance, he'd write Sieun a book about how he felt about him, and how his eyes looked like they hold the secrets of the world. But now, as he stared at the empty paper and pen on his table, he felt a sudden surge of pressure in his chest. Because now? Now it wasn’t just about admiring Sieun from afar.

It was him asking. Wanting. Waiting.

Suho chewed on the end of his pen, then started writing.

Sieun,

I've never been good at writing love letters. I suck at them that's why I'd only leave small notes before. So here goes nothing. 

Sieun, I didn't really believe in love at first sight before. I thought of love as something weak--something that will only destroy you in the end. But when I first looked at you back in the basketball court, my world slowed down believe it or not. It was like you were the only person who existed at the moment. The first thing that I noticed where your eyes. As they said, the eyes are the windows to the soul, and when I looked at yours, I could attest to that saying. If I could, I would write thousands of poems and letters about how your eyes are like the when the dusk settles over the sea. Beautiful and impossible to look away from. I could only thank God that I get to be near you and have the privilige to look at your eyes. If I were to die, then let me die staring at your eyes. That's how haunting, endearing, and beautiful your eyes are, Sieun. And now, I love your eyes--not just how they look, but because of how they look at me. Like I'm someone worth seeing. 

I used to hate writing love letters because I didn't really find the right person to write for. And I also used to hate longing and waiting for someone until I met you. I was about to give up (not really), when I felt like you weren't into texting me for the past days. But then you handed me that coffee like it meant something.
And suddenly, I had too much to say again. I'm not a man of a few words, Sieun, but when you didn't reply to my last text, I couldn't find it in me to let out another word. 

I don’t know what this is between us yet. I don’t know what you’re thinking half the time. But I do know I’d handwrite a thousand more of these if it means you keep noticing.

If it means you keep smiling.
(And yes, I’ve noticed. You smile more now. It’s unfair, by the way.)

You said I owe you a letter.
So here it is.

A promise: I’ll keep showing up. In ink, in person, and wherever you’ll let me.

– S.

P.S. The coffee was good. But your attention was better.

Suho folded the letter carefully, hands steady now, and tucked it into an envelope. Just as he had a dozen times before, he pulled on his hoodie, waited until the hallway was empty, and made the quiet walk toward Sieun’s dorm. This time, when he slipped the note under the door, he didn’t walk away immediately.

The next day, Suho found him in the library--same seat by the window, same stack of books, same pencil twirling habit. Instead of hesitating this time, Suho simply walked over and sat down across from him. He didn't know how he suddenly had this boost of confidence; maybe it was because of the way he poured his heart and soul in his letter or maybe because Sieun didn't treat him like a stranger anymore. 

Suho didn’t say anything but he placed a warm egg sandwich in its wrapper on the table and opened his own lunch like it was the most normal thing in the world. Like it was their daily routine, and as if they've been doing this since forever. So domestic of them. 

Sieun glanced up once, brow slightly raised then down at the sandwich. 

“Yah, you’re not gonna say anything?” Suho said casually, unwrapping his chopsticks. “I woke up early for that, you know. Burned my hand and everything.”

“You microwaved it.” Sieun mumbled, eyes shifting from his notes to Suho. There's a glint in his eyes that made Suho melt inside. 

Suho gave a dramatic sigh. “Tragedy still counts, regardless of the appliance.”

Suho didn’t look up from his lunch, but a small smile ghosted over his lips. Sieun always did that--acted indifferent, but never refused the little things. The smaller boy unwrapped the sandwich slowly, taking small bites between highlighting lines of text. Suho didn’t bother trying to make conversation. It wasn’t about that.

It was about showing up.

Again.

And again.

By the fifth day, it had become a thing. Neither of them talked about it, but every lunch, Suho would quietly appear at Sieun’s table with something in hand like rice balls, a banana, tteokbokki in a small thermos one day. Whatever it was, Sieun would eat it. Some days they sat in comfortable quiet. Other times, Suho would whisper dumb jokes or doodle silly things on sticky notes while Sieun studied. And Sieun would pretend not to react but Suho always caught the tiny twitch of a smile at the corner of his lips.

By the end of the week, Suho’s friends had noticed. They weren't really that oblivious, but they noticed how Suho would disappear during lunch and how he's now carrying a backpack when he doesn't even have anything other than his pen and wallet. Gotak would raise an eyebrow whenever he'd spot him by the vending machine buying two drinks. Baku, as dense as he was, even noticed that Suho would be carrying two sets of food instead of his usual one. But they didn't say anything. They wanted Suho to tell them himself. 

Somehow, after playing a one sided hide and seek, Juntae and Yeongi stopped him by the water fountain after class. Suho barely had time to twist the cap off his bottle when Juntae blocked his path like a bouncer with a grudge. Yeongi leaned against the wall nearby, arms crossed, eyes narrowed in mock betrayal.

“There he is,” Juntae announced like a detective solving a case. “The man, the myth, the ghost who ditches his friends during lunch.”

Suho blinked, like the question didn’t quite register. “I’ve been in the library.”

“Yeah, we know. With that guy. Sieun, right?”

Yeongi chimed in from behind, arms crossed. “Are you dating now or something? Or do you love staring at him 24/7 like a lunatic?”

“I’m not dating him,” Suho sputtered, wiping his mouth. “And I don’t stare.”. 

“But you sit with him every day.”

“I like the quiet,” Suho replied simply. “And… I bring him food.”

Neither of his friends said anything after that.

The next day, it was Suho who was late. Not by much though, just a few minutes past their usual meeting time but enough for Sieun to notice. Sieun had arrived at their usual spot behind the library courtyard, a quiet corner with a worn bench and the soft hum of vending machines in the distance. He sat down with his usual black coffee in hand, the condensation already starting to gather at the bottom of the can. His books were already open, but his gaze flickered to the hallway every so often. 

When Suho finally showed up, he looked sheepish, winded from running. 

“Sorry,” He apologizes quickly, flopping into the seat across from him. “Coach held us back. I didn’t get to grab anything for lunch today.”

Sieun didn’t say anything at first. Then, with the calmest expression in the world, he reached into his backpack and pulled out a small brown paper bag. He placed it in front of Suho like it was the most casual thing.

Suho blinked. “Wait. What is—?”

“Spam musubi and a mandarin.”

“You brought me lunch?”

Sieun shrugged. “You usually bring mine. I figured it’s my turn.”

Suho stared at him, then down at the bag, then back at him again with his eyes wide, lips twitching upward. “Are you trying to make me fall in love with you?”

“Thought you already were base on your letter," Sieun didn’t look up from his notes.  “Eat before it gets cold.”

“You’re dangerous.” Suho grinned, reaching for the paper bag and digging in. His heart swelled with fondness as he carefully admired the homemade spam musubi. It was now his favorite food. 

Sieun didn’t smile, but there was a softness in his eyes that said he liked hearing it. And so, in their quiet corner of the library, the roles reversed. Suho ate with the same kind of fond awe that came from being seen and cared for in return. 

It all stemmed from a sandwich.  Suho pulled it from his bag during their break at the gym. It was an egg sandwich wrapped in simple wax paper, sealed neatly with a piece of clear tape. The edges were slightly warm, like it had been packed with care that morning, and he peeled back the wrapper with a little too much precision. His fingers were unhurried, almost reverent, like it was sacred. His teammates barely noticed until Gotak leaned over and caught a glimpse of the handwriting on the wax paper.

“What the hell is this?” Gotak asked, snatching it from Suho’s hand before he could react. “‘Eat well. You skipped breakfast yesterday. —S.’” He turned to the others, eyes wide. “He’s getting handwritten notes now?!”

Suho groaned. “Give it back.”

Baku, halfway through tying his shoes, raised an eyebrow. “Wait. Is that from Sieun?”

Gotak practically howled. “No way. The Ice Prince wrote this? You got him feeding you now?!”

“It was just one time,” Suho mumbled, trying and failing to grab the sandwich back. “He noticed I was skipping meals.”

“He noticed you were skipping meals.” Baku mocked dramatically. “That’s not care, that’s courtship. He’s courting you.”

Beomseok walked in just in time to hear that. “Who’s courting who?” 

“Suho’s boyfriend’s feeding him now,” Gotak declared, holding the sandwich like it was a sacred artifact.

“I don’t have a--” Suho sighed. “We’re not--It’s not like that.” 

Gotak grinned. “Oh, so now it’s we.”

Suho finally yanked the sandwich back and took a big bite just to shut them all up. “Don’t make a big deal out of it.” 

“You’re so gone for him,” Baku said, shaking his head. “You used to flirt with everyone. Now you sit in the library like a golden retriever waiting for crumbs of affection.” 

Suho swallowed. “I like the library.”

“You hate the library,” Gotak countered. “You once called it ‘a graveyard for personality.’”

“Well, now it’s where he is,” Suho muttered.

All three of them groaned like it physically pained them.

“You’re whipped,” Beomseok declared. “Absolutely done for. A walking, talking simp.”

Suho grinned despite himself. “Yeah. Maybe I am.”

They threw balled up tape at him for that one, but none of them missed the way Suho looked genuinely happy.

Gotak leaned back, smirking. “When he holds your hand for the first time, I swear to god, you better not cry.”

“I won’t.” 

Probably.

They walked together along a quiet road behind the library, with big trees creating long, dappled shadows on the sidewalk.  The late afternoon sun shone through the branches, shimmering gold between the leaves like a secret only the two of them were privy to.  The breeze blew gently through the canopy, stirring the leaves just enough to sound like whispers--soft, cautious sounds that never quite formed words but still felt meaningful.

It had become part of their routine. Suho would walk Sieun to his next class, or to the dorms, or nowhere in particular. No destination, just the comfort of each other’s presence. Their footsteps fell in rhythm, quiet against the stone path. Every so often, Suho’s shoulder would brush lightly against Sieun’s--not intentional, not spoken of, but never pulled away from either. It was subtle, this closeness, but steady. Familiar. There were days when they didn’t speak at all; when the only sounds were the distant murmur of campus, the shifting trees, and the quiet rhythm of two people simply existing beside each other. But the silence between them was never empty.

It was full in its own way. Full of glances that lingered too long. Full of words neither had the courage to say. Full of warmth in the spaces where their hands didn’t quite touch but almost did. 

Suho was midsentence something dumb about Baku losing a bet when he felt it. Fingers brushing against his. Then, slowly, deliberately Sieun laced their hands together.

Suho’s brain short circuited.  He froze, his voice dying in his throat. Every nerve in his body lit up like a firework finale. Sieun didn’t even look at him. He just kept walking, completely nonchalant, as if holding Suho’s hand in the middle of campus was something he did every day.

Suho, on the other hand, was fighting for his life. His grip tightened just slightly testing, hoping and when Sieun didn’t pull away, Suho had to bite his lip to keep from grinning like an idiot.

“You okay?” Sieun asked, glancing sideways without letting go.

Suho cleared his throat. “Y-Yeah. Yeah, I’m good. I just…”

He looked down at their hands, still entwined. "Are you trying to kill me slowly?”

Sieun raised a brow. “Why would I do that? I don't have any pen or glasses don't worry.”

“Because this feels like dying. In a good way. Like a spiritual death. I’m ascending.”

“You’re so dramatic.”

“You started it,” Suho muttered, barely holding in his joy.

Sieun didn’t answer, but the way his thumb gently brushed Suho’s knuckles said everything else. 

It was late afternoon, the sky painted in hazy shades of gold and lavender. They were sitting side by side on the back steps near the athletics field, their backpacks tossed lazily behind them, legs stretched out, shoulders just barely brushing. Sieun was sipping on strawberry milk -- Suho’s doing, of course, and reading something on his phone. Suho was pretending to scroll through his own, but in truth, his thoughts were spiraling.

They’d held hands. They’d shared lunches. They walked home together more often than not.

It felt like something.

Something real.

But he hadn’t asked. Not properly. Not once.

And it was starting to eat at him.

Suho glanced sideways, saw how the golden light made Sieun’s skin glow a little, how his lashes cast delicate shadows on his cheeks. He was so beautiful it almost hurt to look at him for too long.

“Hey.” 

Sieun hummed without looking up. “Hmm?”

Suho hesitated for half a second then exhaled the truth. “Go out with me.”

That made Sieun glance up. His brow furrowed slightly. “We’re out now.”

“No,” Suho said, smiling a little. “I mean… like. Out out. A date.”

He scratched the back of his neck, suddenly nervous. “I mean, yeah, I know we’ve been doing all these things. And I don’t mind if we never label it, not really. But… I want to.”

Sieun blinked once.

“I want to take you somewhere,” Suho continued, voice steadier now. “Buy you something stupid like ice cream. Maybe walk by the river. Hold your hand and not have to wonder if this is me just hoping it’s a date.”

The silence stretched, but not in a bad way. Sieun looked down at his drink, then back at Suho. And slowly, he said,  “Okay.”

“Wait. Okay okay?” Suho couldn't believe what he was hearing. 

Sieun nodded, lips tugging into the tiniest smile. “Okay. On one condition.”

Suho perked up. “Anything.”

“You call it a date,” Sieun said, looking him dead in the eyes. “Out loud. Once. So I can see you get all flustered.”

Suho stared, then burst out laughing. “You’re evil.”

Sieun sipped his drink. “Still waiting.”

“Fine. I’ll say it.” Suho grinned, cheeks pink.

He turned to him, chest full of something warm and impossible to hide. “It’s a date.”

“Good.”

And in the glow of the fading sun, they sat in the quiet again. Only now, it was no longer unspoken.

Suho managed to change shirts three times now. He couldn't decide what was better suited for his date with Sieun, and he was having a huge crisis trying to figure out which one was the one. The first one was too casual. The second felt like he was trying too hard. The third -- well, the third was fine, probably, but now it felt cursed just by association. He stood in front of his mirror, tugging at the collar of his fourth attempt, heart thudding louder than the music playing low from his speaker. He was never this nervous before. 

It was not even a fancy date, only a small picnic.  Suho had probed Sieun gradually over the preceding two weeks and figured out that Sieun disliked crowds and venues that demanded eye contact under bright lighting.  But it was still a date.  Their first one.  Officially. He wanted everything to be perfect already because Sieun deserves only the best and nothing but the best. 

Suho walked over to his mirror, running a hand through his black hair. He sighed and nodded in agreement when he finally settled with a white casual button up shirt to match his denim jeans. A million thoughts ran through his head as he tried to practice how to smile at Sieun. Would Sieun care if he didn't smile that handsomely? Probably not. But what if? What if Sieun thinks he's too average and below his league? What if he didn’t like how Suho smelled? Was this cologne too strong? Was it too adult? He was a nervous wreck. 

He glanced at his phone and cleared out his recent search what to do during your first date. He only had ten minutes left before they'd meet up at the bus stop near the campus, but he figured he should be early. He didn't want to make Sieun wait just in case the latter got there first. He is a gentleman after all. His phone buzzed on the nightstand. A message but it wasn't from Sieun, just Baku sending a dumb meme. Suho stared at it, then at his reflection again. His stomach twisted. 

Shaking his head, Suho went out and locked his dorm room. He breathed out a couple more times and nodded to himself. He went down a couple more flights of stairs before walking to the agreed meet up place. By his sides, his hands were shaking a little and sweaty. He wiped them on his jeans and bit his lip in anticipation. The university dorm was quiet and free from people considering it was a Saturday and usually people were out and about, which he was thankful for because he looked like a nervous wreck at the moment.

"Let's do this, Suho. Be brave for Sieun." 

By the time Sieun arrived, Suho was pacing back and forth nervously. When Suho turned to look at him, it felt like fireworks were exploding and the 1975 playing in the background. The smaller boy was wearing a white shirt underneath his light washed denim jacket, with a pair of denim jeans that matched the jacket, and a pair of white converse. His hair was like how it usually was styled and Suho wanted to play with his hair so bad. He looked so beautiful. 

“You look nice.”

Sieun blinked at him, an amused look on his face. “I always look nice.”

“Yeah, but today you look… date nice.” Suho snorted, his voice a pitch higher than intended. Oh God. 

Sieun gave a faint shrug, but his ears were pink. “Where are we going?”

“You’ll see.” 

They ended up at a small riverside park just outside town, the kind of place people stumbled upon once and always remembered. It was quiet, but not empty--alive in that soft, understated way that didn’t demand attention. The sun had already dipped low, and the horizon was painted in a faded blend of gold and lavender, the river catching every hue like a long, rippling mirror. Lanterns hung on low posts lining the narrow walkways, their gentle glow flickering with the breeze. They swayed slowly, casting warm pools of light on the  path and the grass just beyond. Some of the lanterns creaked softly where their ropes stretched, but the sound only added to the calm. It wasn’t perfectly silent--there was the rustling of leaves, the distant murmur of voices, the occasional laugh carried by the wind but it all felt muted, like the world had lowered its volume just enough for the moment to settle in.

Children ran freely across the meadow, trailing laughter behind them like confetti.  Their sneakers banged against the stone and kicked up dust from the walkways, but no one noticed.  Parents sat nearby, smiling, as a few teens flung pebbles into the river, watching the waves fade into nothing.  The air had a subtle aroma of water and sweet bread from a neighboring food stand.  Somewhere further down, someone strummed a guitar--a few notes here and there, halting but genuine, a sound meant more for the person alongside them than for the crowd.

Couples filled the park in calm areas.  Some relaxed on picnic blankets, leaning closely but not touching, their knees brushing against shared coats.  Others sat on seats near the lake, hands intertwined loosely, conversing without saying much.  Some brought small nibbles or drinks in plastic cups, and condensation formed as they sat on the grass.  It was not extravagant.  Nothing in the scene drew attention to itself.  But it felt real and earnest.  Everyone seemed to have chosen to be present, not out of necessity or spectacle, but because this calm, this company was enough. 

Suho led them to a quiet bench under a tree. From his bag, he pulled out a small brown box and handed it to Sieun.

“What is this?” Sieun asked, lifting the lid. 

“Mini sandwiches,” Suho said. “And those sugar cookies you said you liked once.”

Sieun blinked at him. “You remembered that?”

“I remember everything you say,” Suho said without thinking.

Sieun didn’t reply at first but he took a sandwich, slowly, and bit into it. The lantern light caught on his profile, soft glow on sharp angles and Suho watched as Sieun took a bite, small at first, testing. He chewed in silence, gaze lowered, like the world had quieted for him alone.  There was no nod of appreciation, caustic remark, or offhand jest.  His shoulders relaxed somewhat, and his grip on the sandwich softened, as if he wasn't holding anything foreign anymore. 

“Good?” Suho asked, hopefully.

Sieun nodded. “Yeah.”

They ate in soft silence, broken only by the occasional breeze or distant laughter. Eventually, Sieun turned to him and said, “This doesn’t feel like a first date.”

Suho glanced at him, surprised. “No?”

Sieun shook his head. “It feels… like something we’ve been doing for a while.”

“That’s kinda perfect then, isn’t it?” Suho smiled. 

Sieun looked at him for a long time, eyes soft, almost vulnerable in the fading light.

And then, without a word, he reached over and gently took Suho’s hand again. Suho squeezed back, heart full.

“Thanks for saying yes,” He whispered. 

“Thanks for asking.”

Two weeks after their date, and many other dates, classes seemed to be hectic. After his last class, Suho was hanging around the quad, lounging near the edge of one of the concrete benches where the sun hit just right. The afternoon light was soft, golden, casting long shadows over the tiled ground. A small group of underclassmen from another department had gathered around him--two girls, a guy, bright eyed and visibly entertained. They were laughing at something Suho said, which was too loudly, too eagerly, the kind of laughter that wasn’t really about the joke, but about who had said it. It filled the open space around them like static, buzzing and a little too much for the hour.  

Suho gave a smile that didn't quite reach his eyes.  He stroked the back of his neck, a little sheepishly, gazing off to the side, as if he knew the attention wouldn't last long. One of the girls leaned in too closely.  Not enough to be blatant, but enough to indicate her interest, her fingers brushing against his arm under the guise of emphasis, her laugh delayed just a half second so it would land directly on him.

Unbeknownst to Suho, Sieun was watching the scene unfold from a few meters away, leaning against a tree with his arms crossed and a deep frown he didn’t even realize was forming. He hadn’t gone over to Suho right away. He told himself it was because he didn’t want to interrupt. If he could, he can always beat them up, glare at them, or maybe stab them with a pen, and mind you, he was always carrying a pen in his pockets. For emergency purposes like when he has to sign or write something.  

Admittingly, Sieun didn’t like the way they were looking at him. Like Suho was available. Like he wasn’t already sitting with someone every lunch, sharing snacks and glances and dumb paper hearts hidden inside sandwich wrappers. Like he hasn't gone on multiple dates with someone already. 

When Suho finally broke away and jogged up to him, grinning like usual, Sieun didn’t say anything at first.

“Hey,” Suho said, breathless. “Sorry those girls from Bio cornered me after class. One of them asked if I was in a band.”

“You’re not.” Sieun stared, eyes wide and twitching disturbingly. His hands were starting to form into fists, and he was itching to just stab them. But of course, violence was never the answer. It never was. 

Suho laughed. “I know. But apparently I give off lead singer energy.”

When Sieun said nothing, Suho was confused. He tilted his head, catching the tension. “What?”

Sieun looked away. “They like you.”

“Who?”

“The girls from Bio or wherever. You talk to everyone. You laugh with everyone.”

Suho blinked, then slowly smiled. “Are you jealous?”

“No.” Sieun gave him a flat look.

“You are,” Suho exclaimed, beaming. “Oh my god. You’re actually--”

Sieun didn’t respond. He just looked down, jaw tight. His gaze fell to the ground, but it wasn’t out of distraction, it was deliberate, like if he stared hard enough at the cracks in the pavement, he could will the uneasy feeling inside him to disappear. But it didn’t. It sat in his chest like a stone, heavy and pulsing with heat. He clenched his jaw a little harder, forcing himself to breathe through his nose. He didn't trust himself to speak. Not when his chest felt like it had been hollowed out and filled with something sharp and silent. 

Suho lowered his voice, softer now. “Hey, look at me.”

Reluctantly, Sieun met his eyes.

“I like you,” Suho said. “Do I smile at people? Sure. Am I friendly? Yeah. But the only person I’m waiting to see every day is you.”

Sieun stared at him for a moment then muttered, “You’re really annoying when you’re sincere.”

Suho grinned, smug now. “Admit it. You were jealous.”

“Whatever.”

Suho leaned in, his voice just loud enough for him to hear: “You know what’s hotter than you being quiet and mysterious? You being possessive.”

Sieun turned back, narrowed his eyes, and without warning grabbed Suho by the front of his hoodie and pressed a kiss to his cheek. It was soft and sincere, and Suho froze. It has as if time had stopped for them and the world faded behind. It happened so fast that Suho didn't have time to register whatever was happening to him now. All he could think of was the soft lips on his cheeks and the lovely smell of Sieun. 

“There. Now they know.”

Then he turned and walked off. Suho, stunned, touched his cheek and let out a laugh--loud, lovesick, unstoppable.  “Hey! Do it again, but this time on the other cheek for symmetry!” 

Sieun was never the type of person who'd stay up past his bedtime. His schedule was always plotted perfectly and he had ample amount of time to study, review, and text back to Suho. But as the clock read 12:05 AM, he was still sat on his desk, the light from his small study lamp pooling across the notebook page. His earphones in his ears, music filling up his hearing. The rest of the dorm was silent except for the quiet scratch of his pen, starting, stopping, and starting again. He’d written four versions of the same sentence and crossed them all out. 

Suho,

You make me feel things I don’t understand. No. Too dramatic.

I like you. Too bland.

I miss you even when you’re beside me. What did that even mean?

Sieun sighed, frustrated at himself. Words weren’t his thing. Not when it came to this. Suho could write whole letters filled with stardust and metaphors and dumb jokes that somehow made sense. But Sieun? He could barely get past “Hi.” He looked down at the half-filled page, the only line he hadn’t crossed out:

You matter to me more than I know how to say.

He stared at it for a while. And then without overthinking it, he folded the note carefully, tucked it into his jacket pocket, and left his dorm.

Suho wasn’t expecting a knock that late. He was just scrolling through his gallery of Sieun's pictures with a happy smile etched on his face. His speakers were gently playing love songs, and he was wearing the comfiest sweats and muscle shirt.  He opened the door, still in sweats and with his hair sticking up from lying on the couch, and nearly tripped over his own feet when he saw who it was.

“Sieun-ah?”

In front of him, Sieun looked unsure, which was rare. The boy was never unsure of anything. In fact, he always looked like he had the answers to everything in the world. Even before answering a test, Sieun knew he'd get good marks because he was sure he studied everything. Everything about him screamed 101% sure. But now, the smaller boy was sweating nervously. 

“I wrote something,” Sieun said. “I don’t know if it’s good. But I wanted to give it to you.”

He pulled the note from his pocket and held it out, like it weighed more than it should.

Suho took it, careful not to crumple it. “You okay?”

Sieun hesitated before he stepped forward.

Suho barely had time to react before Sieun leaned in slowly, cautiously, the way someone might reach for something precious they weren’t sure they were allowed to touch. His movements were measured, hesitant, like each inch forward was asking a silent question Is this okay? Can I? 

But Suho didn’t move away.  He leaned forward too. Instead, his breath caught just once and then he leaned forward too, like something inside him had already decided long before his body caught up. Like the space between them had been waiting for this to happen, quietly stretching thinner and thinner until now, when it finally disappeared. 

When their lips met, it was quiet, and soft, and warm. It wasn’t perfect, not some cinematic sweep-you-off-your-feet kiss. It was slightly off center, a little hesitant.

When they pulled apart, Sieun’s eyes stayed lidded, still close.

Suho’s voice came out low, breathless. “So, that’s what happens when you run out of words?”

Sieun huffed, and for the first time that night, he smiled. “Shut up.”

In the stillness of that moment, everything made sense.

Even without words. 

When you're in love, time seems to pass by quickly. For Sieun and Suho, time was just a myth when it comes to them. Two months had gone by ever since, and they were loving every moment they had with each other.  Two months since the first kiss. Two months since the note that barely had a sentence. Two months of quiet lunches, shared playlists, awkward hand holding that turned natural, and kisses that went from tentative to familiar. Ever so quickly did they go to being domesticated boyfriends. 

Now Sieun had a toothbrush at Suho’s dorm. Suho had a hoodie permanently missing from his closet because Sieun “borrowed” it and never gave it back. And every Friday, without fail, they had ramen at the same cramped spot near the back gate of the university where no one from either of their departments usually hung out. They fell into a routine that they both are so fond of. It reminds them both of the life they now share each other, forgetting the life they had before they both happened to each other. It felt like slowly coming home. 

A shared campus event, which was a tedious interdepartmental seminar about leadership and academic synergy, whatever that meant, was held. Majority of the student body were all huddled up and sat in the large auditorium, listening to the seminar half heartedly. But to be honest, no on was actually listening.

Suho and Sieun had come in together, sat near the back, and promptly tuned out the moment the second speaker started reading directly from their slides. During the mid-session break, Suho offered to grab drinks from the refreshment table. He ruffled Sieun’s hair on the way out, light and easy, and told him to stay put.

He was gone maybe seven minutes, and when he came back, Geum Seongje was already there, leaning against the edge of Sieun’s desk like he owned it, wearing that cocky, crooked smile that Suho immediately wanted to slap off his face. The asshole was always rage baiting him wherever and whenever they cross paths. No one really liked Seongje, and Baku was mad as hell at him for breaking Gotak's knees. If it weren't for the sake of his and Sieun's peace, Suho would've already beat him up senseless. 

Suho stopped just short of the aisle, tray of drinks in hand, eyes narrowing. He was always possessive. When he was still a kid, he had a hard time sharing his toys and food to other kids. His halmeoni would often smack his head and force him to share. Even when he'd half heartedly let the other kids play his toys, he'd eye them coldly from time to time, as if to say that's mine. And this time, it was not any different. Sieun was his. 

Seongje was saying something, his tone low and smooth, the kind of voice designed to sound like a secret. His hand rested on the desk too close to Sieun’s arm. And Sieun, well, Sieun had his usual neutral expression, but his shoulders were slightly stiff, his grip on his pen just a little too tight. He wasn’t comfortable but he wasn’t pushing him away either. That lit something hot and territorial in Suho’s chest.

He stepped forward, louder than necessary, the soles of his sneakers slapping against the linoleum.

“Oh,” Suho said with a smile so polite it might as well have been a threat. “Didn’t realize we were making friends with strangers today.”

Seongje turned, blinking slowly, sizing him up. “I was just talking to--”

“Yeah, I saw that,” Suho cut in, placing one of the drinks on Sieun’s desk with a little more force than needed. “This one’s for my boyfriend. You can move now.”

Sieun glanced up at him, expression unreadable but he accepted the drink without saying a word.

Seongje raised an eyebrow, clearly amused. “Boyfriend, huh?”

“Yep.” Suho took the seat beside Sieun like it was a throne and laced their fingers together without hesitation. “And I tend to get real cranky when other people flirt with what's mine.”

Seongje chuckled under his breath. “You’re kind of intense.”

“You’ve got no idea.”

For a second, no one moved. Then, with a mock salute, Seongje backed off. “Relax. I was just being friendly.”

“Try being friendly somewhere else,” Suho said, all teeth.

Once Seongje walked off, Suho let out a breath through his nose and turned to Sieun. “Was he bothering you, baby?”

Sieun took a slow sip of his drink and blushed at the endearment. “He was annoying.”

“Why didn’t you say something?” Suho frowned. 

“I was going to,” Sieun said calmly. “But then you showed up.”

Suho glanced down at their still-intertwined hands. “You know I’ve got your back, right?”

“I know.”

But it seemed like Seongje was born to annoy the fuck out of him and test his limits.  It started during another boring seminar neither of them cared about. Suho and Sieun had claimed their spot at the back, side by side, as always. They whispered quietly during the talk, shared small looks the way it usually was.  During the break, Suho offered to grab drinks. He ruffled Sieun’s hair on his way out, earning a quiet eye roll and the barest hint of a smile and left with light steps. It seemed like ritual now; him ruffling Sieun's hair before leaving to get drinks, and coming back to a disaster. 

Seongje was there again. 

Leaning casually against the edge of Sieun’s desk, Seongje looked perfectly at ease like he belonged there. One leg crossed over the other, shoulder brushing against the shelf behind him, that same overconfident smirk playing lazily on his lips. His voice was low, drawling, and timed with a studied charm that seemed designed to be overheard.  As if each syllable was intended for performance.  He assumed this was a scene from a university drama in which he would play the charming lead. 

Sieun sat rigidly in his chair, posture straight, hands neatly folded on the desk, as if he were waiting for an oral defense to start.  His expression was flat, lifeless in the quiet way Sieun had perfected but not chilly enough to scare the other boy away.  He wasn't leaning backward.  He was not glaring.  He was not leaving.

He was being courteous.

And for Suho, it was worse.

From the hallway, Suho slowed down, a pair of paper cups cradled in both hands, one of them filled with Sieun’s usual, bitter and too strong. He paused, just long enough to take in the sight before him, the low tilt of Seongje’s head, the way he looked down at Sieun like he had some kind of inside joke to share. The air between them wasn’t warm. But it was open. Open enough for Suho’s mind to run laps in circles, filling in spaces with things he didn’t want to think about. He stared at them for too long, feeling the rush of heat crawl up his neck. This wasn't a good sign for him. 

Seongje spotted him approaching, and he had the guts to smile wider.

“Ah,” Seongje said, loud enough to draw eyes. “The boyfriend returns.”

Suho didn’t respond. He placed the iced tea in front of Sieun with a quiet thud and took his seat--body tense, jaw locked.

“You know,” Seongje went on, crossing his arms and feigning thoughtfulness, “I’ve always wondered what kind of guy Yeon Sieun would date. Figured he’d end up with someone a bit… sharper.”

Suho raised his eyebrows. “You trying to say something?”

 “Just surprised, is all," Seongje shrugged. You don’t seem like his type.”

“And what do you think his type is?” Suho's tone was tad deeper, and his face was scrunched up into a disgusted look. He could feel the anger surge within him, and if they were outside, he would've killed Seongje right there and then. 

“Someone who can keep up with him,” Seongje replied, voice dipped in false innocence. “Mentally. Emotionally. You know, someone who actually gets him.”

Sieun said nothing, simply sipping his drink, calm, and unreadable. 

Suho set his own drink down. "Yeah, you don't fit any of those criteria, buddy. I doubt he'd date you." 

“I’m gonna give you one chance,” Suho said slowly, voice low and cold. “Walk away before I lose the part of me that still plays nice in front of Sieun.”

Seongje laughed. “Relax, I’m just talking.”

“No,” Suho said, voice low and tight as he leaned forward, elbows braced on the desk like he was holding himself back from doing more. “You’re trying to piss me off. You want me to lose it so you can stand there and pretend you’re above it all. But the thing is—”

He stood up, slow and controlled, the movement calculated well. The air around them shifted, heavier somehow, as though the temperature dropped a few degrees. “I would lose it. And you wouldn’t like how I end it.”

The murmur of background talk subsided.  Students nearby paused, some typing and others pretending not to gaze but failing. The silence was heavy with anticipation as if everyone was waiting to see who would flinch first. Seongje’s smirk faltered, showing a crack in the confidence, the smallest ripple in his composure. His jaw twitched, and his eyes narrowed for a split second, as if he wasn’t sure whether to laugh or take a step back. 

“Tch. Touchy.” Then he walked off.

The moment he was gone, Suho sat back down with a heavy thud, the legs of his chair scraping faintly against the floor. He braced his elbows on the edge of the desk and exhaled sharply, breath flaring through his nose like he was trying to exorcise the last of the anger still simmering under his skin. His fingers flexed and uncurled against his thighs. His jaw was still tense, and he wasn’t meeting Sieun’s eyes. 

“I’m sorry,” Suho muttered. “I shouldn’t’ve let him get to me.”

And then, quiet but steady, Sieun set his drink down with a soft clink against the desk. “You handled it better than I would’ve.”

Suho blinked. “Wait. You’re mad?”

“I’ve dealt with guys like him before,” Sieun said coolly. “They always think they’re clever until someone like you tells them they’re not.” 

Suho gazed at him and there was something in Sieun’s gaze, something quiet but resolute. It wasn't pity, nor amusement. It was plainly recognition, the kind of truth that made Suho’s pulse slow for the first time in minutes.

Suddenly, all the heat, all the tension, all the tightly held frustration felt like it had somewhere to go because someone had seen it--all of it, and still stayed.

Sieun met his gaze evenly. “But next time,” he added, “let me handle it. I don’t need you to fight for me.”

Suho hesitated. Then nodded. “Okay. But I will. If I have to.”

A small silence stretched between them. Then, Sieun looked away, murmuring just loud enough. "Still kind of hot, though.”

“What was that?”

“Nothing.”

“No, no, say it again.”

“Shut up, Suho.” 

During one of Sieun's stays in Suho's storm, a huge and heavy rain came in hard and fast, thunder shaking windows, lightning cracking the sky in half. What started as a drizzle after dinner turned into a full blown downpour. Rain pelted the roof in huge sheets, unrelenting and angry.  The wind howled sharply past the windows, as if attempting to peel the night open.  Thunder claps loud, deep enough to shake the floor beneath their feet.  Lightning followed closely following, tearing through the sky in jagged flashes and lighting up the entire dorm room in fast, harsh pulses of white.  Lucky for them, school was closed for tomorrow as well due to the weather conditions. 

Outside, the storm was fierce and violent.  But in the cramped up dorm, everything felt suspended. The rain curtain wrapped around the structure like a veil, thick and persistent, drowning out the world outside the windows.  The fluorescent light overhead buzzed softly and palely, creating long shadows across the floor, revealing discarded socks and books. The lights flickered once then again.

Sieun didn’t say anything, but his eyes followed the ceiling like he was tracking the source of every sound, every shift in the air pressure.  Suho checked his phone for the forecast and grimaced. “Heavy rain warning. Public transits are stalled.”

Sieun looked up at the sky. Water was already pooling in the streets, and the few students who hadn’t already gone home were scrambling under umbrellas or huddled beneath overhangs.

“You can’t go back to your dorm in this,” Suho said. “You’ll get drenched just trying to walk to the gate.”

Sieun glanced at him, neutral. “Then what?”

Suho hesitated, then said it.  “You can stay over.”

“At your place?” Sieun raised a brow. 

“I mean,” Suho scratched the back of his neck, “Unless you have another boyfriend I don’t know about with a waterproof bedroom nearby--”

“Suho.”

“I’m joking,” He added quickly. “Seriously. Just stay the night. I’ve got spare clothes. Warm blankets. Snacks. You’ll be fine.”

Sieun paused, water dripping from his bangs. "Fine.” 

Suho’s dorm was small but warm. Lived in. The kind of space that smelled faintly of laundry detergent and something sweet from the mini kitchen even if no one had cooked that day. Sieun stood in the middle of the room, wearing Suho’s oversized hoodie and sweatpants that barely clung to his hips. He looked criminally good and completely unaware of it.

Suho tried very hard not to stare. “I, uh, made cocoa.”

Sieun took the mug with a nod, settling down on the couch as thunder rolled overhead.

They were watching something on Suho’s laptop about some old movie neither of them had picked intentionally, just whatever had been sitting in Suho’s downloads folder, safe and unremarkable. The volume was low, the screen’s glow flickering across the room in soft, muted light, casting the occasional flash of color on their faces. But neither of them was really paying attention.

Suho sat next to Sieun on the bed, legs folded carefully, posture just a little too upright. Their knees brushed now and then, not quite consistently, like an accidental touch that kept happening on purpose. He hadn’t meant to sit so stiffly, but now that he was aware of it, he didn’t know how to un-sit. Everything about his body felt too loud; his shoulder placement, his breathing, even the way he was blinking. Beside him, Sieun sipped at his cocoa, hands wrapped around the warm mug. He hadn’t spoken since the movie started, hadn’t looked over much either. But then, halfway through a forgettable scene, he finally said, flat and without warning: 

Sieun spoke first. “You’re nervous.”

“What?”

“You’re sitting like I’m a bomb.”

Suho looked down, sheepish. His knees were pressed tightly together, his hands clasped awkwardly in his lap, shoulders tense like he was balancing a stack of books on his back. “Sorry. Just, trying not to be weird.”

“You’re already weird,” Sieun muttered, sipping his cocoa. “It’s fine.”

That made Suho grin. “You sure you’re okay staying here?”

“I’d rather be here than drowned in a ditch somewhere,” Sieun replied.

“Wow. Romantic.”

Sieun glanced at him. “But yeah. I’m okay.”

The storm worsened as the night wore on, shifting into something heavier, more relentless. By the time midnight slipped past, the rain had swallowed the roads entirely. Streetlights outside flickered in and out of visibility, their glow blurred by thick, slanted sheets of water. Wind groaned against the building, and every so often thunder rolled deep and long, shaking through the walls like an ancient beast grumbling in its sleep. Inside, Suho’s room felt like its own little island--warm, quiet, and dim. 

Suho moved around quietly, pulling out a set of extra pillows from the top of his closet, patting them down before laying them neatly at the head of his bed. He spread the spare blanket across the mattress, smoothing it out, fingers dragging across the fabric slower than necessary. 

“I can sleep on the couch,” He offered.

Sieun just looked at him. “Why?”

“So you’re comfortable?”

Sieun deadpanned, “Suho. We’ve literally fallen asleep on each other in the library.”

“That’s different.”

“It was your arm.”

“Still!”

Without another word, Sieun stood, blanket still slung around him like a cloak, crossed the room, and climbed into Suho’s bed with the efficiency of someone who had already made up his mind ten minutes ago.  “Get in.” 

Suho stared dumbfounded at the initiative. He hesitated for only three seconds before doing exactly that. They lay side by side in the dark, the rain pounding against the windows like a heartbeat. A soft silence stretched between them until Suho felt Sieun shift closer. A hand brushed his under the covers. Then laced their fingers together.

“Thanks for letting me stay,” Sieun said quietly.

Suho smiled in the dark. “Anytime.”

The room was dark and quiet, except for the light snoring from Sieun, who was asleep beside Suho. The rain had finally eased into a gentle drizzle, tapping lightly against the windowpane like a metronome counting down the seconds Suho couldn’t sleep. He lay on his side, eyes wide open, painfully aware of the warm presence beside him.

Sieun was fast asleep, or at least he seemed to be. His breathing was slow and even, lips slightly parted, one arm flopped over the blanket in careless comfort. Suho hadn’t dared move since they turned the lights off. He could feel the dip in the mattress where Sieun's weight settled, could feel the warmth of his body just inches away. That alone made Suho’s skin feel too tight. 

Suho let out a groan as he tried to suppress his own inappropriate thoughts by thinking of sad things. This was stupid. They’d fallen asleep beside each other before--library benches, park lawns, a bus ride or two when Sieun's head fell against his shoulder. But this was different. There were no books, no noise, no excuse for proximity. This time, it was just them, one bed, one blanket, and one shared breath between them.

And the things he could do to Sieun.  He didn't want Sieun to think he's just using him for his body or that he was a pervert. He's lucky enough to his attention and he doesn't wanna screw it up just because he couldn't keep it in his pants. He respected Sieun enough, and he wants the boy to be ready. 

Making a decision to just go take a cold shower, Suho carefully and quietly removed his arm that was draped around Sieun's waist. The smaller boy was hugging his arm, thus he grabbed a pillow to replace the warmth of his absent arm. He stared at the sleeping boy and cooed fondly at him. He looked so pretty and so peaceful when he sleeps. So innocent and untouched. 

Suho walked towards his bathroom, stripping off his clothes and staring at his rock hard cock. He didn't bother locking the door, getting used to it since he usually lives alone. His hands gripped the faucet and turned it on, letting the cold water hit his body. He winced at the contact and tipped his head back. This over Sieun hating him.

He threaded his fingers through his damp hair, brushing it back and washing the water from his face. He was too engrossed of ridding his hard on that he didn't notice the door creaking open, nor Sieun stripping off his clothes. He felt arms wrapped around his torso, and he was about to scream bloody murder when he realized it was just Sieun. 

He tensed up, "Why are you awake, baby?" 

Sieun didn't answer, instead his ran his hand up and down Suho's abs and up to his chest. The other boy's breath hitched and he fought back a moan. Sieun didn't seem to like how he didn't get an answer or reaction so he resorted to placing a chaste kiss on Suho's nape. His lips curled up when the taller boy let out a throaty moan. Sieun wanted more so he reached down to wrap his fingers around Suho's cock. 

"Let me do it for you, Suho." 

Suho could only nod and let out a groan as Sieun fists his cock. The other boy pumped it agonizingly slow, brushing his thumb over the pink tip and speeding up his pace. His moans and the sound of Sieun pumping his length filled the whole room. Sieun was sucking and leaving hickeys on Suho's traps, loving the bruises it forms right after. This was so everyone would know Suho was his and he was Suho's. 

Suddenly, Suho stopped Sieun's hand and turned to face him. "On your knees for me, baby." 

Obediently, Sieun dropped to his knees and looked up at Suho, eyes locking with his. The scene looked so erotic and obscene; Sieun on his knees, ready to take Suho's cock in his mouth. The taller boy wishes he could take in this moment and display it on a museum, dubbing it as one of the most beautiful sight on earth. Sieun's eyes were glazing with lust, twinkling under the dim light of the bathroom. His hair was damp from the stream of water, and his lips curled up just a bit. He looked like he was made to suck cock. 

"Make sure to fuck my mouth extra hard," Sieun said before wrapping his lips on the pink tip of Suho's cock, licking and slurping it like it was his last meal. 

"How'd you even learn to--fuck," Suho groaned, fisting Sieun's hair. "Wait, no, don't answer that. Just suck my cock." 

Sieun didn't need to be told twice as he bobbed his head, sucking and slurping Suho's length. His hand was pumping what his mouth couldn't cover, while his other hand cupped the balls. He acted like this is what he does for a living, and Suho didn't want to overthink and ask why. He just enjoyed the moment and loved the feeling of his boyfriend's mouth wrapped around his cock. What made it more erotic was the fact that Sieun's eyes that were filled with tears were locked with his own, with a glint in his eyes that says more. 

Suho couldn't hold it in anymore, he gripped Sieun's hair tightly before thrusting his hips forward. He fucked his boyfriend's mouth but not that rough because he couldn't stand hurting his boy too much. He threw his head back and bit his lip, loving the feeling and rush of pleasure in his cock. He was just dreaming about this the other day, and now he got Sieun on his knees for him. Only for him. 

"So good for me, baby," Suho praised, locking eyes with Sieun who was choking on his cock. "Love how you take my cock." 

After a few thrust, Suho pulled his cock from Sieun's mouth. "Stand up." 

The boy obliged and stood up, eyes pooled with tears and he looked so wrecked. Suho's cock twitched at the sight. His boy was so beautifully wrecked, and he couldn't wait any further. He crashed his lips on Sieun's own pair, tongues swiping against each other and teeth clashing. This was probably the roughest and dirtiest make out he has ever had, and it was with his Sieun. His hands were gripping the boy's waist tightly, leaving marks. Underneath him, Sieun was panting and moaning. 

Sieun pulled away, breathing heavily. "Be rough with me, Suho-ya." 

"You sure, babe?" Suho asked, looking at his eyes for any uncertainties. "I don't want to hurt you." 

"Do whatever you want with me." 

It seemed like a switch has been turned on for Suho as he attached his mouth on Sieun's neck, sucking and biting at the flesh. He wanted to mark his territory--to let everyone know, especially Seongje, that Sieun was his and only his. No one can have him but Suho. As he leaves hickeys on his boyfriend's neck and collarbones, mumbling mine over and over again, Sieun was writhing and moaning. He loved the fact that Sieun would be prancing around school with his marks. 

"Turn around, baby." 

Sieun, like a good boy that he is, turned around. Suho groaned at the sight before gripping his boyfriend's waist and sticking his ass out. He watched as his fingers dug on the soft flesh of Sieun's ass. Without any warning, he raised his hand and slapped the cheeks of his boyfriend's ass, leaving a red hand print on it. He smirked when he heard Sieun moan. He slapped it once more before dropping on his knees. 

"Let me make you feel good," Suho said, spreading Sieuns cheeks apart and staring at the tight hole. "So tight." 

Suho licked a fat stripe on Sieun's rim. Damn, he tasted good too. "Taste so good, love." 

He continued to lick, suck, and toy on Sieun's hole, loving the loud moans that comes out from the other boy's mouth. For someone who spoke a mximum of 5 words per day, Sieun was loud tonight. His knees were shaking with pleasure as his boyfriend took him from behind and making him feel good. Suho enjoyed the noises from Sieun, and he wanted to hear more; like a starved lion, he ate him out real good. 

"More, please." Sieun reached for Suho's hair from behind, gripping it tightly and with desperation was laced in his tone. 

Suho stood up, gripping Sieun's waist and turning to face him. "What do you want, baby?" 

"More, please." 

"Use your words," Suho demanded, sucking more hickeys on Sieun's neck. 

"I-I need," Sieun breathed out, leaning his head to the side to give more access to Suho. "I need you to fuck me." 

"Wait here," 

Suho went to the sink to get a cherry flavored lube before returning to Sieun who was panting and stroking his neglected cock. He kissed his boyfriend one more time before coating his fingers with lube. "Tell me if it hurts, yeah?" 

He hoisted up Sieun's leg and spread his legs apart, looking at his eyes and inserting a finger in. He watched as Sieun bit his lip and closed his eyes, no hint of pain but only of pleasure. He bit his lip at the sight, loving the way his boyfriend fell apart with just one finger. He pumped it in and out, picking up his pace and curling it once in awhile. He added another finger and scissored it, getting excited to bury his cock deep inside the tight hole. As he finger fucks his boyfriend, his mouth were on Sieun's nipple, licking and tugging at the sensitive bud. 

"Suho," Sieun moaned, gripping Suho's hair tightly. "Fuck me now, please. Or I'll let someone else do it." 

Halting his movement, Suho suddenly felt his blood run cold at the thought of someone else fucking Sieun. His eyes turned cold and the next thing he knew, he was wasted no time to pour lube on his cock. "Turn around." 

Sieun turned around and stuck his ass out, as if he was telling him to do it now. He flinched when the tip of Suho's cock prodded on his hole, shivering when Suho roughly pushed it in. It stung but he loved the pain so much. He knew he couldn't sit straight right after this, and he loved the thought that everyone would know what his boyfriend did to him. The thought was so filthy and he loved it. All he could think of was Suho fucking him until he couldn't anymore. 

"So tight for me, my love." Suho praises, hands on Sieun's waist and fucking into him roughly. "I didn't know you wanted it bad." 

As always, Sieun was a man of a few words, letting out moans and whimpers as he was taken from the back. The sensation was unbelievable, and he let out a loud groan as Suho rammed on his prostate over and over again. His boyfriend's cock was big, and he still wondered how it managed to fit inside him. Nevertheless, his body was warmed with pleasure despite the cold water running and cascading through their bodies. Suho was fucking him into oblivion. 

"Play with yourself, baby." Suho commanded, placing a few kisses on his shoulder blades. "Cum for me." 

Sieun wrapped a hand on his own cock, pumping it lazily. He could only focus on the pleasure that Suho was providing him, and before he knows it, white spurts of cum landed on the tiled wall. He moaned out Suho's name as he released his orgasm. But Suho still didn't stop. His eyes rolled back as Suho continued to pound on his sweet spot. His cock twitched again, and he never knew it was possible to still orgasm after just having another one. 

"Fuck, you came again." Suho muttered, eyes squeezing shut as he felt himself get close to his own release. "I'm close." 

After a few rough and hard thrust, Suho pulled out his cock and pumping it fast. As he watches Sieun's abused hole and weak state, he came on his hand, streaks of his semen landing on Sieun's back. He shut his eyes as he came down from his own high. The sex was so good that he needed to catch his own breath. And Sieun was no different; he was panting hard and using the wall as support. He could barely hold himself together. 

Suho gently picked up Sieun who was in a dazed before turning the heater on and showering him with warm water. He needed to hold him out and wrap him in his arms or else the boy would slip. He managed to clean them both up before drying Sieun first and then himself before slipping on warm clothes. By the time he was finished, Sieun was asleep on his arm, wearing Suho's sweater and sweats. 

"Ah, my boyfriend looks so cute and cuddly." Suho gushed, smiling from ear to ear as he watches the small boy sleep soundly in his arms. 

He lay still, arms around him, with one hand resting gently along the curve of Sieun’s back under the blanket. The sound of the rain hitting his windows and the quietness of the room made him sentimental. In his arms, Sieun was fast asleep--safe and sound. Their legs had tangled somewhere in the process of shifting and getting comfortable, and now Suho could feel every slow breath Sieun took against his chest. Even after doing filthy things with him, the unbelievable reality that this person--this boy with his sharp words and soft silences--was trusting enough to fall asleep in Suho’s arms. 

And now, with the world asleep, Suho was wide awake, staring down at a face he only ever got to see this peaceful when Sieun was too tired to keep his guard up. Suho’s fingers twitched slightly, itching to trace the shape of Sieun’s cheekbone, the little scar near his eyebrow, the soft arch of his lips. He didn’t dare move in fear of waking him up. Not when Sieun looked like this unguarded and vulnerable in a way that made Suho’s chest ache.

The sudden surged of overwhelm spread throughout his body, as he began to feel all emotions at once. He has seen Sieun so guarded and so reserved. He has seen him smile a little more each day, and even laugh when Suho pulled jokes. He saw Sieun angry when someone crosses him, and seen him be annoyed and jealous at Suho's sea of admirers. But this was different. 

This version of Sieun only he gets to see. This was the version of Sieun who's peaceful and quiet, laying in his arms because felt safe enough to do so. He knew he was safe with Suho, and that meant the world to the latter. He thought about all the nights he stayed up thinking about what this might feel like.

And now, with Sieun tucked into his arms, exhaling softly against his skin, Suho could only think one thing. 

Please let this be forever. 

The rain had stopped sometime before dawn. Sieun wasn’t sure what woke him; maybe the shift in pressure, the sudden quiet outside, or the way the soft gray light had crept into the room and settled against the walls like mist. He blinked slowly, his lashes damp from sleep. The sheets were warm against his skin, the air just cool enough to make him want to stay curled under the blanket a little longer. Suho’s side slightly rumpled, his scent still lingering in the pillow. He sat up slowly, hoodie slipping off one shoulder, and listened.

There it was--the faint clatter of plates, the hiss of something on a pan, and Suho’s voice, low and humming off key to some song he probably made up. Familiar and a little terrible. The kind of sound that shouldn’t have made Sieun’s chest feel like it was trying to do something stupid, like soften. He got up, padded quietly to the kitchen doorway, and leaned against the frame.

There was Suho. Hair sticking up in every direction, one sock on, one sock missing. He was focused, slightly hunched, one hand holding the pan handle, the other scraping something gently with a spatula. His humming broke off when he paused to taste test something from the pan, wincing just slightly before adjusting the heat like it was some kind of scientific operation. He hadn’t noticed Sieun yet.

The counter was a mess; egg shells in the sink, a banana peeled and abandoned mid thought, toast half burnt in the toaster. And still, Suho looked happy. Just by watching him, Sieun felt his heart clenched in a good way. The sight in front of him was so domestic, like it has happened way before too many times. Suho fits in his life so easily. He was scared that this would go away.

"Suho-ya," Sieun finally said, eyes soft as he stared at the startled Suho.

Suho jumped, nearly dropping the spatula. “Jesus, Sieun-ah, do you have to move like a ghost?”

“You left me alone.” Sieun smirked faintly.

“You looked so peaceful,” Suho muttered, turning back to the pan.

“Didn’t want to wake you. Thought I’d feed you instead.” Sieun stepped closer and peeked at the pan.

“Is that… supposed to be an omelette?”

“Technically.”

“It looks like regret.” Suho scoffed.

“It’s rustic.”

“You’re burning it.”

“No, I’m giving it texture.” Sieun reached over and turned the stove down with one hand, then leaned his chin lightly on Suho’s shoulder.

“You’re insane.”

“And yet, here you are. In my kitchen. In my hoodie.”

The smaller boy shrugged, “Didn’t say I minded.”

That made Suho freeze for a beat. He turned his head slightly, just enough that their temples touched.

“You’re soft in the morning,” He whispered, a smile on his face.

“Don’t push it.”

Suho grinned. “Noted.”

A few minutes later, they sat together at the tiny table; plates full of slightly overcooked omelettes, toast, and a single shared banana. It was a disaster of a meal. But Sieun ate every bite. Now he knows why Suho always brought him food from convenience store. Boy didn't know how to cook to save his life.

When Suho wasn’t looking, he reached out, stole a piece of toast from his plate, and whispered, “Thank you.”

Suho looked at him, really looked, and smiled like he had the whole world in front of him. “Anytime.” 

The morning was soft and filled with warmth. Both of them enjoying the soft humming of the wind, and the music coming from Suho's speakers. Cigarettes After Sex was playing, and the moment was so perfect for Suho.

Sieun, Cigarettes After Sex, and a full tummy.

Everything was finally falling into place, and he couldn't be any happier. Suho felt like he could take on anything in the world as long as Sieun was by his side.

As he leaned against the doorway, Suho watched as Sieun did the dishes. The morning light poured in through the small window above the sink, washing over Sieun in soft, almost golden tones. His sleeves were pushed up, hands wrist deep in suds, shoulders relaxed in a way that made Suho’s chest tighten. Every so often, he’d pause to rinse a plate, stacking it neatly with the others, methodical and calm.

Maybe it was the way Sieun stood there like he belonged. Maybe it was the way the sweater Suho had lent him slipped too far down one shoulder. Maybe it was just the softness of the moment but Suho couldn’t stay still anymore. Suho crept up from behind him. He wrapped his arms around his boyfriend and breathed in his scent. He smelled just like him. His lips found its way to the nape of his neck, sucking gently and pulling back some time to admire the marks he left on him last night and the new ones he did.

"You look so beautiful in my clothes, baby," Suho said, smirking as he felt Sieun's body tense up with need. "But I gotta take it off now."

The next thing they know, Sieun was perched on his back at the table, legs spread open and Suho's cock buried deep in his ass. He didn't know how they managed to get to this but the pleasure was too good, and the position made Suho's cock go deeper in him, railing his prostate roughly. His lips were ajar, and his eyes close. The pleasure was overwhelming, and even without touching his own cock, he could feel that he was close to the edge.

"You're still so tight," Suho said, locking eyes with Sieun. His hand was closed on the other boy's throat, but not too tightly-- only enough to make the moment filthier.

Sieun could only moan as he gripped Suho's arm that was gripping his throat. "I'm close."

"Me too, baby."

A few more thrust, and Suho was releasing streaks of cum on Sieun's stomach. He groaned as the last of his cum dripped. But what amazed him was the fact that Sieu had cum even without touching his cock. He looked ethereal beneath him; eyes pooled with tears and lips red from being bitten too much. His chest heaving and his neck covered with violet marks. Suho felt a surge of love. Sieun never looked more beautiful than he is right now.

"You look so beautiful, Sieun-ah." And all mine.  

The room was quiet, except for the turning pages of Sieun’s textbook and the occasional click of his pen against the desk. He was deep into his notes, brows furrowed in focus, glasses slipping slightly down his nose. Every now and then, he’d pause to underline something or scribble in the margins, completely locked into the world of diagrams and definitions. Studying was one of the things he enjoyed the most, but it came second to being with Suho. But it was nearing their finals, and he had to lock in.  On the bed behind him, Suho flopped dramatically onto his stomach for the fifth time in ten minutes.

“Sieun,” Suho groaned into a pillow. “I’m dying.”

“You said that fifteen minutes ago,” Sieun muttered, not looking up.

“I’m dying more now.” Sieun continued writing.

“Then rest in peace. Quietly.”

Suho rolled onto his back and stared at the ceiling. “You’re so cold.”

“I’m studying.”

“You’ve been studying all afternoon.”

Sieun underlined something aggressively. “Because I have an exam.”

“Okay, but I’m bored.” Sieun sighed, pausing his pen.

“Then read.”

“I tried.”

“…You were reading a cereal box.”

“It was insightful.” Sieun shook his head, shoulders tense with the effort of not turning around.

“What do you want?” A beat.

Then the bed creaked. They definitely did not end up with Sieun riding Suho until he memorized everything for the exam. 

Sieun had agreed to meet Suho there after his lab class, so Suho got there early, grabbed a seat by the window, ordered drinks, even got that weird croissant thing Sieun secretly liked but never admitted. He was waiting when someone else got to the table first. A guy. Tall. Well-dressed. Confident. The kind of smile that came with entitlement. Suho didn’t recognize him, but he could tell instantly that he was there for Sieun.

He was in Sieun’s department, maybe. A classmate. Maybe even someone who had waited too long to make a move and was now regretting it. Because the second Sieun walked in, he went straight to their table and the guy intercepted him halfway with a grin, hand brushing Sieun’s arm. Suho watched, frozen as he stopped sipping his strawberry milk. His blood ran cold and he could feel his eyes twitch at the sight. What the fuck?  

Sieun, as always, remained cool. He nodded politely, said something short and dismissive. But the guy didn’t take the hint. He laughed like they were sharing a private joke. Leaned a little too close. And that’s when Suho stood. He didn’t storm over. He didn’t make a scene. He just walked, calm and steady until he reached them. Then, with no hesitation, he slid an arm around Sieun’s waist and pulled him gently, but firmly, toward him.

“Hey, baby,” Suho said, loud enough. “Sorry I’m late. You okay?”

“You’re not late.”

Suho smiled. “Still, didn’t like seeing you cornered.”

The other guy blinked, smile faltering. “Oh. I didn’t realize—”

“Yeah, I know,” Suho cut in smoothly. “A lot of people don’t realize he’s taken. That’s why I like to remind them.”

Sieun gave him a look. “Suho-ya.” 

“You don’t get to look at him like that,” Suho spoke evenly, turning his eyes on the guy; sharp, unblinking, not threatening, but not soft either. “Or touch him. Ever again.”

The guy, clearly uncomfortable now, gave a stiff nod. “Right, got it.”

He walked off without another word.

Sieun sighed. “You’re so dramatic.”

“He was flirting with you.”

“And I wasn’t flirting back.”

“I know. But still.” He softened. “He doesn’t get to linger around you like that. You’re… mine.”

Sieun studied him for a moment. “You get jealous easily.”

“Only when it comes to you.”

To Suho’s surprise, Sieun tugged him forward by the collar, close enough to whisper, “Next time, just kiss me in front of them. It’s faster.”

Suho grinned, stunned. “Oh my god.”

Sieun let go, face unreadable again but his ears were pink.  They were walking through campus, side by side, the afternoon sun dipping behind the buildings and casting long golden shadows over the pavement. It had become a habit, walking home together after classes. Sometimes with hands brushing, sometimes linked, sometimes not at all.

But today, Suho was being bold. He’d already kissed Sieun once at the café earlier, right in front of two juniors who had a not-so-subtle crush on Sieun. Then again at the vending machine, where Suho whispered, “You always look unfairly good when choosing snacks, it’s criminal,” and kissed his temple.

And now, in the middle of the courtyard, with way too many people around, he was leaning in again. He couldn't give two fucks about the whispers and the stares. As long as he gets to prove to everyone that Sieun is his, that's it. 

“Suho,” Sieun warned, deadpan. “Do you have to kiss me everywhere?”

Suho grinned. “I’m just following instructions.”

“I was joking.”

“Well, I’m committed now.” He tilted his head and kissed the corner of Sieun’s mouth--quick, sweet, but intentional. Someone nearby gasped quietly. Someone else dropped their pen.

Sieun exhaled. “You’re impossible.”

Suho bumped their shoulders. “You told me to kiss you next time someone got too close. I figured I’d stay ahead of the game.”

“So your solution is to stake your claim in every building on campus?” Sieun kept walking.  

“Exactly,” Suho beamed, looking proud of his idea. “It’s strategic. Library? Claimed. Science hallway? Claimed. Student lounge? Triple claimed.”

Sieun rolled his eyes. “You’re going to cause a scene one day.”

“I am the scene,” Suho said with a wink. “And you’re the main character.”

Despite himself, Sieun felt a small smile tug at his lips. They reached the steps near the dorms, where they usually parted ways. Suho turned to face him fully. “One more for the road.”

Sieun raised an eyebrow. “You’re unbelievable.”

“And you’re gorgeous. So we’re even.”

Suho leaned in and this time, Sieun kissed him first. Then he pulled back and said, just barely above a whisper. “Library tomorrow. Try not to get us banned.”

Suho blinked, dazed. “Oh my god.”

And before he could recover, Sieun was already walking away, leaving Suho on the steps, grinning like an idiot in love. Because he was. 

Spring had begun to melt into early summer; warm breezes, golden skies, and final exams looming just close enough to feel real. Students were scattered across the field in lazy clusters, books and laughter mixing under the sun. Suho and Sieun sat under their usual tree, shaded and tucked a little away from the rest of the world. Sieun was reading, legs folded, hair slightly messy from the wind. Suho was lying down with his head on Sieun’s lap, chewing on a piece of gum, staring up at the clouds like they were speaking to him. 

Everyone around them didn't mind nor stared too long at the couple. By now, everyone was used to them. They knew not to get too closed to Sieun or else Suho would threaten to hunt them down 'til the ends of the earth just for looking at his boyfriend. And they also knew not to touch Suho or else Sieun would stab them with a pen or glasses (Seongje could attest to the last part). But, everyone loved looking at them.

They were each other's rock and softness. From a mile, you could see how they were both too deep into each other. It was the type of love that everyone was jealous of.  

“You’re quiet today,” Sieun murmured, eyes still on the page.

“Thinking.”

“That’s dangerous.” Suho grinned.

“Shut up.”

“About what?”

“About how we got here.” Suho tilted his head, looking up at him. He was feeling sentimental again. He'd always get this rush of emotions whenever he and Sieun were quiet and peaceful. But can you blame a man for being a simp? He just loves his boyfriend too much he could feel his heart bursting from his chest. 

Sieun looked down, brow raised. 

“You used to feel like a dream, untouchable and cold. And now you’re real, and warm, and...mine.”

“I’m still cold,” Sieun replied, deadpan. Of course he was still the same. To everyone but Suho, his cold exterior was always up. He'd speak to anyone if it was necessary, but spends his time without Suho quietly. He was still the same person who would stare at you with eyes that were so haunting and alluring. But Suho loved every version of himself. 

“Yeah,” Suho said softly. “But not to me.”

Sieun didn’t answer right away. Suho was right. He was never cold nor reserved when he was with Suho. At most, he was soft, quiet--still, but he could finally feel safe in Suho's arms. Being in his boyfriend's arms was one of the things he cherished to the most. The amount of love and respect they had for each other was something Sieun commended the most. Even when he doesn't say it often, meeting and loving Suho felt like coming home after fighting a war. Loving him meant letting his guard down, embracing his self, and letting himself be loved purely by Suho. 

Suho closed his eyes. “I love you, you know.”

“I know.”

“You don’t have to say it back.”

“I know.”

Almost like an afterthought but not really, “I love you too.”

It didn’t sound like a performance. It sounded like a fact; like gravity and breath. Even when Sieun was a man of a few words, Suho understood his silence the most. Because loving someone doesn't mean that you have to hear them everyday; loving someone meant that even in the silence, you can feel it. 

Suho smiled, eyes still closed. “What do you think we’ll be like after graduation?”

Sieun shrugged, but kept combing through his hair. “Older. Hopefully smarter. Still stupid in love, probably.”

“Probably?”

“Definitely.” That sounded more than a promise. It sounded like a vow. 

Another breeze passed through. Someone laughed in the distance. Somehow, Sieun loved the feeling of the wind caressing and cooling his skin. Before, he hated going outside. His routine only consisted of school and home. But now, he was able to appreciate nature; the sunrays painting Suho's skin warm, the wind that seemed to carry all the secrets of the world, and the leaves that danced with the wind. Everything was just better with Suho. He painted colors to Sieun's black and white world. 

“Do you think we’ll last?” Suho asked quietly.

Sieun didn’t hesitate. “We already are.”

And in that moment, with exams ahead, the world uncertain, and time moving forward whether they were ready or not--Suho didn’t feel scared. Because love wasn’t some cinematic grand finale. It was this. The quiet knowing. The everyday choosing. The kind of love that doesn’t demand fireworks; just a steady hand to hold. And for Suho, it would always, always be Sieun. The only way to love, is to be brave--because love is only for the brave.