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Chapter Text

Night terrors were nothing new to Odysseus. He couldn’t count how many times since he had finally got home that he woke, wings thrashing, unsure of where he was. 

Sometimes he was back in the lair of the cyclops, held tightly in its hand, wings breaking in its grasp, as it flattened his men with the club it so easily flung around with its other hand. Sometimes he was watching the Earth-Shaker claim his whole fleet, as their cries for him were cut off by the crashing sea, one by one. Sometimes he was held in place, held up as if he was anywhere near as prized as the cattle that stained the ground gold, offered as sacrifice.  Sometimes the nightmares were of a gentle touch, caressing his wings as he was pinned down and his body thrashed despite the illusion of soft “comfort.”

And sometimes there was the mangled form of a god, broken wings splayed around him, wreathing his unmoving body, and all Odysseus could do was watch the sea claim his great grandfather. 

But never had there been this inescapable ache through every part of him. His sides burned, his ankles screamed. The wings on his head fought desperately against whatever bound them. 

Often his dreams ignored the state of his wings in the moments he was thrown back into. He was used to having them, so his mind only rarely robbed him of them. It seemed he wasn’t lucky enough to avoid that in this dream, though. 

But that wasn’t the only abnormal thing about this dream. After all, he was much more aware that it must be a dream, and he didn’t have that usual innate understanding dreams granted of where he was and what was going to happen. All he knew was that he was in his quarters, and everything hurt. Pain shot through his sides as if his absent wings were trying to beat frantically in agitation anyways. 

He didn’t realize he had been fighting to untangle himself from his bed covers until he was hitting the floor and pain shot through him. He let out a cry at that. Everything felt as if he had only just carved his wings off. Which, considering he was on that accursed ship in his old quarters could only mean they had just set out to head home from Troy, but that made no sense- that was much too early for his mind to torment him with the men he had lost, and for the life of him he had no idea why he was there. 

His mind would jump to the thought that this must be some cruel trick by the gods, meant to punish him for some reason- perhaps they were unsatisfied with Hermes’s punishment considering how content he was to live with and as mortals, perhaps tormenting Odysseus was some way to get back at Hermes- but Hermes and Athena both had assured him, at different times, that he and his family were finally safe to have peace. 

His racing thoughts were interrupted by someone barging into his quarters. 

“Captain!”

As Odysseus froze, his whole body going colder than he had been in the chill of the underworld, the thought at the front of his mind was to be thankful his dream let him have his pileus, because he would have panicked even more if Eurylochus discovered his wings again . 

(At the back of his mind, where he was analyzing things he wouldn’t dare consider, not when the dread of what this nightmare may hold had a grip on him, he acknowledged that if this were a normal nightmare the terror it brought would be Eurylochus discovering his wings, and sacrificing him for a safe journey home, and he would have to watch as all his men died anyways because Hermes would never let that stand. He knew that’s the only reason this scenario might play out. But he wouldn’t touch that thought with the tip of a spear. Not yet. Not when there was some sort of threat he couldn’t identify, not when he was there, in that “dream”, facing whatever he told himself was just his mind tormenting him.)

Eurylochus’s expression was one of pure confusion, brows furrowed as Odysseus didn’t answer. All Odysseus could see was the fear and hatred on Eurylochus’s face when Zeus had demanded that sacrifice, though. Eurylochus offered a hand out. 

Odysseus flinched back, unable to hide how his voice shook as he bit out “ Don’t touch me! ”

Eurylochus stared for a moment, before taking a step back. “Captain? I only meant to help you up, I didn’t mean to… startle you?”

It sounded more like a question than a statement. Odysseus didn’t really have it in him to care too much about that, though. Not when his sides still ached and his heels still burned. It was all he could do to choke out “ where are we? ”

Again, there was hesitation there. Eurylochus seemed torn, wary. He was silent for longer than he really should have been. “… we just disembarked from Troy yesterday. Should… Should I go get Polites?”

It was a reasonable question. Odysseus had always trusted Polites, had always relied on him more than anyone. That didn’t change the fact that the question had him gasping for air, feeling as if the cyclops’s club had hit him square in the chest and broke him, instead. 

And Eurylochus was still staring at him, that gods forsaken confusion and distrust and betrayal all Odysseus could see even as he fought off the crushing grief for Polites. Eurylochus didn’t say anything else. Surely he must think Odysseus had finally snapped and followed in his father’s footsteps. 

Odysseus didn’t even immediately register that he was alone, curled in on himself, legs still tangled in the sheets he hadn’t cared to stand and get out of. He just curled up tighter on the floor, instinct screaming to hide himself in wings he currently lacked. He reached up and pressed his hands against the wings on his head, not trusting the coverings he used to sleep in to keep them still. That only brought more pain as they thrashed, trying to hide his face. All he wanted to do was to curl in on himself and hide. 

Was this really the torment his mind had come up with? Putting him back to when things were okay, and acting like everything was normal when he knew it wasn’t? 

(Could he really deny much longer how wrong this all was?)

He was so lost in his racing thoughts that he only processed that he had been left alone when soft footsteps approached and then stilled at his door. 

Whoever it was didn’t speak, didn’t intrude into his space, didn’t try to break through the panic just yet. 

(“Whoever it was” could only really be one person, the one that knew him best on this fleet. But his dreams were never kind enough to let his dear friend act like he should, so he couldn’t exactly entertain that thought or he would have to-)

He lifted his head, and his hands dug into his head wings even more, drawing a small gasp of pain from him. That finally caused the man standing there to move forward, crouching down to force Odysseus to look more closely at the soft expression behind his glasses. 

Polites didn’t react to the pained keening Odysseus let out. No, he was too focused on gently grabbing Odysseus’s hands, pulling them lightly away from his head. 

“Don’t hurt yourself, my friend.” Another pain shot through Odysseus’s chest, drawing out another cry from him. “Eurylochus told me you needed help. Said you seemed to be unsure of where you were.”

Was this torment truly just showing him his dead friend’s gentleness? Surely, this was enough agony. Surely he would soon wake. 

“Ody?” Polites’s voice drew him out of his thoughts- for the moment, at least. Another wave would wash over him in a moment, he was sure. It would be easier to let them drag him under, but he didn’t want worry to be the only thing he saw on the face of his friend, if his mind was truly set on forcing him to convene with ghosts.  

“ Nightmare .” He rasped, clawing his way desperately back to trying to function. This was all a nightmare, so why was the single word so heavy on his long since tarnished silver tongue?

“We set sail from Troy yesterday. We’re on the open sea. Six hundred men sailed to war with you, and six hundred men are sailing back home. Eurylochus is manning the ship and taking charge of the fleet while you rest .”

Polites had shifted to sit on the ground in front of Odysseus. He held Odysseus’s hands in between them, as if he didn’t trust Odysseus not to reach up and start plucking feathers as if he was some caged bird. But every word from Polites had pulled Odysseus back into his body more and more. His hands stilled in Polites’s hold. 

“… Polites.”

Of course his friend’s name would be the first word he could get out without it being a forced hiss from the back of his throat. Of course the ghost in front of him would be the one reason he could be calm, despite his mind tormenting him so. 

Polites smiled softly at him, and let go of his hands. “I closed the door, and no one will bother us. Do you need to uncover your wings?”

Odysseus only flinched for a moment- remembering just what happened the last time his crew saw his wings- before settling. There was something he could do, if this dream insisted on acting as if nothing was wrong. (It shouldn’t be possible within a dream. He knew that. If he did it he should just reach the real Athena, and she would simply pull his mind from the dream. But that wasn’t going to happen. He knew .)

“Not right now.” He knew Polites was about to protest, so he hurried onward. “But I had an idea. A way to make it a bit easier. I almost lost my pileus several times, and helmets have always made things difficult. So I plan to ask my Lady Athena if she would be kind enough to grant a blessing. I don’t know if it will work, but perhaps she could find some way to hide my wings from those who do not know, even if they’re in the open?”

Polites frowned slightly at that. “Are you sure such a request is safe? You always said your mentor tolerated your wings, no more.”

Odysseus hesitated. “I…”

How could he be sure? Athena had never known his wings were from Hermes- how could she, when he had always claimed them as a curse?

Though… she knew Hermes. Shouldn’t she have recognized that no regular mortal would have wings on their ankles of all places? She was the goddess of wisdom. Had she truly taken his word rather than thinking about it for long enough to recognize-

“Ody?”

Odysseus snapped back into focus. He knew he might regret the words he spoke next but that didn’t stop them from spilling out of his mouth. 

“You can’t tell anyone this, but I have received a vision. A warning of what may come for our fleet. Not everything,” his tongue burned with the weight of yet another lie on the pile, “but small glimpses. And in those small moments there was something that revealed the true source of my wings.”

Polites’s eyes widened. “What did you learn, my friend?”

“I have a blood tie to a god. The wings are his. I cannot say more, but… it is no curse. I am sure that once I tell my Lady this, she will at least consider the blessing I request from her.”

“And this vision… is that the nightmare that has you in such a state?” When Odysseus flinched, Polites continued, voice somewhat softer. “What did you see?”

“I cannot share that with you.” Odysseus said, leaving it at that. Let Polites think he wasn’t allowed. His kind-hearted friend didn’t need to bear the weight Odysseus carried. 

If this dream was truly going to continue, he would play the part of a prophet. He didn’t dare to think his mind was kind enough to let him change things, but he could indulge in his desire to, for now. Maybe eventually the agony would become enough to startle him awake, and he could shelter in Penelope’s arms, or hide beneath Hermes’s wings. 

(Maybe this “dream” would let him find shelter in Penelope much sooner than he had last time- though he wouldn’t let himself finish that thought. If it was a dream it wouldn’t be so kind. After all he hadn’t known true pleasant dreams in a decade, only nightmares of every torment he had gone through.)

For now though, he leaned forward into Polites’s open arms, caring not for how desperate it made him seem for the comfort. He could relax for a moment, before he had to start playing his part as captain again. 

Chapter Text

Odysseus didn’t even care too much that Polites was watching over him as if he was a wounded animal that might flee at any moment. He had certainly acted like it before. And Polites knew him well. 

But his sides and ankles burned. He had to draw a line when Polites just started fretting over him the moment he moved. He understood that seeing him in the state he had been in must have been concerning, but this was too much.

“Polites, I’m not going to break just because of what I saw. I just-“ he shifted slightly, and doubled over in pain. It felt like his sides were on fire. 

“… This was enough for them to grow back, wasn’t it?”

Oh. Had Polites really realized before Odysseus did? Was Odysseus truly so used to comfort, now, that he had forgotten just how agonizing cutting and regrowing his wings was?

He had cut his wings soon before leaving Troy, if his memory served him right. And they hadn’t regrown until after the cyclops, and even then it had been extremely hard on him. Regrowing them this soon… had he ever had such a short time between cutting and regrowing? A matter of days? 

He was so unused to the pain of it, he wasn’t sure if he could handle it. 

(And it wasn’t as if that would wake him up. He knew better than to hope for such kindness.)

“… I may be out of commission for a few days, Polites. …maybe longer. Do you think… do you think you could keep them out of here, at least until and unless Athena grants me that blessing?”

Polites hesitated at that. It was a big task. 

“I know usually you would have Dio to help but-“

“Are you certain we couldn’t at least tell Eurylochus? He’s your second in command and-“

Odysseus recoiled away from Polites at that, the sharp intake of breath enough to cut whatever he was going to say off. Odysseus didn’t mean to react that harshly, but… 

A sharp blade in his back, the expression of a man betrayed as if HE was the one who had done wrong, simply for having blood-tie to the divine. As if HE was the reason for all this strife, when he tried to hold tight to the bag that had led them astray. As if dooming six men was the same as dooming hundreds. 

Hands on his wings. Claiming them as a curse, then turning around and acting as if they were a perfect sacrifice, as if giving a curious pet to the gods would mean no more suffering. 

There was a hand on his arm. He flinched but it held steady. 

“Ody. You’re safe. I won’t let anyone see.”

Polites. He was still there, still putting up with the state Odysseus was in. But if Odysseus had to be around his long dead friend for a moment more he was sure he would break. 

“Tell my second in command…” his name still burned too much to say “he’s in charge for now. Keep track of any birds in the sky, odds are they’ll lead us to land. But notify me if any land is spotted- I will not risk anyone else as scouts, not when I’m more likely to know what to expect.”

Polites nodded, but his hand didn’t leave Odysseus’s arm. 

“I need you to guard my room, Polites. Ensure no one comes in. I don’t care what you have to say, what you have to do.” After all, he knew what a crew of hungry and desperate men would do if they thought their leader was cursed. “And please… just because you’ve known Eurylochus almost as long as you’ve known me, that doesn’t-“

“I don’t have to know why he can’t know. Your secret is mine, always, my friend.” Polites drew back, that connecting touch finally severed. “May I come check on you while you endure the process, though?”

“So long as you’re sure no one will follow. But for now… I am going to pray to Athena, I hope to speak with her before…” Odysseus just gestured to his sides. Polites gave a sympathetic grimace- he had seen Odysseus in the throes of that agony several times before, of course he understood why Odysseus might want to have a conversation while he still MOSTLY had his wits about him. 

When Polites left with a soft assurance once more that things were okay (but how could they be, when this nightmare dragged on without wakefulness as if it were reality-) Odysseus let out a breath. The pain in his chest was almost as bad as the pain of his severed wings. 

He tried to shove that aside long enough to clear his mind. Athena might get frustrated if he called to her this weighed down by emotion- after all this would not be the same Athena he knew. 

Though, there was a chance the real Athena would answer- praying in a dream was still prayer, and especially with as lucid as Odysseus was it might still reach its target. He found as much out in his time as a young warrior- once, in the midst of the war on Troy, he had a dream of planning a strategy and calling to Athena to run it by her, and instead she had awoken him. She had said it wouldn’t necessarily work the same for every god but she paid more attention to his prayers so it reached her clearly. 

(He didn’t get his hopes up for that, though. He knew better than that.)

“Athena I need your aid…” his voice was stilted. “Please come to your loyal student when you are able…” She would know something was wrong, surely, when such unfamiliarity stained his words. 

Despite that, though, the familiar presence was there in almost an instant. The world stilled around him. She didn’t make herself known, but Odysseus turned towards where he knew she stood anyways. 

“ Athena… ” he couldn’t help that his words came out more as breath than sound. He didn’t know why he couldn’t even begin to speak with her. This part should be easy- he knew Athena, and she hadn’t died in front of him. So why couldn’t he-

“Your eyes have changed.” She spoke, interrupting his spiralling thoughts. 

He froze. 

What?

That… didn’t make sense. If this dream had preserved the state of his wings at that time, his eyes should have been back to that grey and silver. They couldn’t-

“I need your aid, Athena.” He forced himself to say. He could think about what his eyes might mean another time. 

Athena’s eyes narrowed. She was analyzing him, he knew it. Why wouldn’t she? With what was happening… but thankfully, thankfully she didn’t push him. She could probably tell just how agitated he was- while she was never too keen on emotions she always seemed to understand when his mind was tumultuous.

“What do you need, Odysseus?”

“Could you bless something for me that would hide my wings from any that don’t know of them?”

Her brow raised at that, and her expression grew a bit colder. 

She had grabbed one of the wings on his head, tight enough to hurt, and claimed it was his own fault he was cursed. She had cast him aside, because his emotions were too much. 

He flinched slightly at her reaction. “Athena I know what it seems like but- I had a vision, glimpses of things that may come, and it was- it was revealed to me that this is no curse.” His words spilled out over each other, and there was a desperation that he would have loathed back when he was truly Athena’s student. 

“A vision?” She cut him off. “What did you see?”

“ I can’t tell you. ” 

It almost wasn’t a lie. He didn’t know if he would be able to. Of all people he didn’t want her knowing just how many times he failed, just how much he’d changed from her warrior of the mind. 

Did the Athena of the past truly scare him this much? The thought made him go cold. But Athena seemed to accept his answer… mostly, at least. Still, she shook her head. 

“I cannot grant you this blessing, Odysseus.”

“Why not? I- they’re going to regrow, too soon to handle cutting them off again- and I don’t want to do that anymore, anyways.”

“Then you must hide them as you do the ones on your head. You say it was revealed to you that you aren’t cursed, yet I have never been able to hide them. My power cannot touch them.”

Odysseus was stunned into silence. That…

“…okay. That… that is all for now, Athena. I’m sorry for calling you here for nothing.”

“I will keep your crew’s eyes away from here as your wings regrow.” If Odysseus didn’t know better he would think her voice softened when she said that. She was gone before he could question that, though, or even utter a thanks. 

He still thanked her, even as motion returned to the world. She would hear, even when she left. 

…His eyes were different. That… shouldn’t be possible. (For a moment his thoughts drifted to the gold staining his wings but that would truly be impossible and if he entertained that thought he would have to-)

He raised his arm up to catch the light, and his heart started racing in his chest. 

That unnatural sheen there should not be there . No matter what strange lack of logic this dream had, he should not be stained in the blood of an immortal. 

His sides burned , and it was all he could do to make it back to his bed and curl up in pain before his ankles were full of too much fire to hold him up. 

It was quick. That was the only mercy. The fact that it was quick. 

He had spoken to Hermes about his wings many times. The fact that they grew back made enough sense, they were a tie to the divine even if he himself was mortal. But the fact that they would grow back faster during stress… that was a bit stranger. All he and Hermes could come up with was that maybe it was some strange defense mechanism so he could fly on the regrown wings and flee the threat he was facing. 

Being thrust back into the worst part of his life was definitely a threat, he shouldn’t have been so surprised. Especially since he also had been pushing away the truth of his situation the whole time. 

The only mercy was that it was quick. 

Polites came by, at some point, with food and water. Odysseus had asked him to stay, though everything was a haze. 

Seeing him hurt, but seeing him leave would hurt more. And Odysseus was already hurting so much . 

“ Polites… please, if I ever tell you to- to stay away from something… to stay back at the ship… ” 

Even through the haze of pain Odysseus could feel Polites’s eyes boring into him. 

“I’ll do as you ask, I swear it.”

The fact that Odysseus’s pleas sounded more like premature mourning went unmentioned. 

Chapter Text

Odysseus hadn’t been expecting just how much his wings would fight being held down again. It was a good thing there was a decent breeze, because he wasn’t sure how else he could explain how his clothes rustled. 

He hadn’t gotten any questions as to the state he was in, yet. There had been glances to the wrappings around his ankles, yes, and the amount of layers he was wearing just to stand on the deck was certainly strange, but no one said anything, not to him at least. 

Even once his pain faded somewhat from the regrowth, everything still ached. This couldn’t have been how he used to live, could it? This had to be a side effect of how little time between cutting them off and regrowing them there was. 

Still, he had known well enough that they would be brittle, that he would have to be careful. If that led to him flinching whenever he noticed anyone behind him and pulling away from anyone that might have tried to get close to him, well, it was a good thing they had just gotten through a war, and he wasn’t the only man reacting in such a way. 

Polites had started greeting anyone that approached when he was with Odysseus rather than doing some other work on the ship. 

“Eurylochus! How are the supplies holding up?” 

Odysseus turned and thankfully didn’t react too badly to the fact that Eurylochus was almost in arms reach of him. His flinch wasn’t severe enough to draw his second in command’s eye, at least. 

“That’s why I’m here actually. Captain.” And oh, the way Odysseus flinched at that definitely was noticed. Eurylochus’s expression shifted from neutral to concerned. 

Why couldn’t he get it together? He was the captain of a ship! He couldn’t be balking like a scared lamb when people addressed him by his title, and it would be entirely out of line for him to tell his men to call him by name- he was still their king.

“Are you-“

“I’m fine Eurylochus. My apologies.” Odysseus spoke quickly. “What is it?”

“We have six hundred men with big appetites.” Eurylochus’s voice slipped from concern to an informative monotone as he accepted the change of subject to the report he was making. “And we’ve run out of supplies to eat. They can’t be expected to row us all home with such limited rations.”

It couldn’t be as easy as trying to rush towards Ithaca. As much as Odysseus wanted this nightmare to be over (as much as he hoped he could change the outcome of things) his men would always need food. 

Odysseus raised a hand, then gestured out with a sweeping motion towards one of the gulls flying above, mapping its path. 

“We should only be a day or two out from land.” Odysseus reassured. It had taken two days last time, but maybe with what he knew he could speed them along… “we can find food there, enough to fill up our stores to last all the way home.”

Eurylochus nodded at that, and then began barking out orders to the rest of the crew, leaving Odysseus and Polites in peace. 

Odysseus turned away from the rest of the ship, leaning forward to face the ocean. Polites had leaned back against the railing, watching Odysseus’s back. 

“Whatever food we find” Odysseus started, and Polites glanced over at him, holding his gaze. “The best of it goes to the Lord of the Sea, the Earth-shaker. I will make this known among the men, but if at any point I’m incapacitated, I need you to ensure it.”

Because odds were, they would have to make their way to the cyclops’s flock. There was barely anything edible on the island of the lotus-eaters, if he remembered right, and the lotus itself was an absolute no. And if they could get away with it… well, Odysseus absolutely didn’t plan to give the Cyclops his name. But extra favor from the god who essentially held their lives in his hand couldn’t hurt. 

“I’ll make sure of it.” Polites replied. “But… do you plan to get hurt so badly that you can’t ensure it yourself?”

Odysseus tensed for a moment. “I… don’t know. I will do what I can, but…” he sighed. “I am the one who knows what will happen. If it takes pain and injury to get us- all of us- out of this…”

“Right.” Polites hummed noncommittally. 

Odysseus was the one that broke eye contact, staring up at the birds above instead. 

“Telemachus will have wings by the time we make it home.” Odysseus said before going silent. 

After a moment Polites lightly shoved his arm. 

“Hey! What was that for?!”

“You can’t just say something like that and not elaborate!” 

Laughter bubbled up in Odysseus’s throat, and Polites’s smile was as soft as ever in return. 

“What more is there to say?!”

“Ody!” 

Odysseus chuckled as he sidestepped another push from his friend. He turned on his heel and bolted. 

“Hey!” He heard Polites’s steps follow after him. 

——

Odysseus wasn’t able to hurry their journey to the lotus-eaters island along TOO much- the fact that he knew where they were going shaved off about half a day at most. Still, it was a relief when an island came into view. 

“Odysseus!” Polites called out. “I see a light glowing faintly! Maybe there will be people willing to share some food, that has to be a fire!” He was pointing to where a light gleamed, a warm glow a little ways into the trees and away from the beach of the island. It was impossible to see from the ship what it was, but Odysseus remembered well enough what that island held. 

Still, maybe they hadn’t searched hard enough last time. Maybe they wouldn’t have to risk…

“I see,” Odysseus nodded, choosing his words carefully. “It looks like a fire, yes, but there’s no smoke. We should-“

“We should strike first .” Eurylochus interjected. “Especially if you don’t think it’s safe.” Odysseus’s second in command came up on his side, making him turn us back to Polites to give Eurylochus his attention. “Besides, we don’t have time to waste if we want to make it home in good time. Even if there are people, and even if they have food they’re willing to share, it won’t be enough for us all. We should take all we can. We need to raid the place.”

Odysseus knew Polites was about to say something, but he just raised a hand to stop him, and to stop Eurylochus. “No. I understand where you’re coming from, truly I do, and I thank you for looking out for everyone.” It truly had started as a concern for safety. Odysseus knew that. But still… “Polites, gear up. You and I’ll go ahead.”

“Of course.” Polites had moved to Odysseus’s side to face Eurylochus alongside him. 

“Captain-“

“Eurylochus listen. We need to do this in a way that minimizes the blood shed. If we raid this place who knows what vengeance we’ll bring upon ourselves? Who knows, the people that live here could be special in the eyes of a god, and who knows what could happen to us then?” Odysseus sighed. “I don’t want any of us to end up hurt. I’m making the calls I think will keep us safe, okay?”

“You can’t be serious!” Eurylochus protested. “We don’t know what could be there waiting for us. It would be safer to go in armed and-“

“It’s midday now, so… give us until sunrise. If we don’t come back by then, there’s six hundred of you ready to storm the place and make it burn, taking whatever you like.” Odysseus tried to offer a placating smile, but he knew it was shaky. 

Eurylochus didn’t look particularly happy with Odysseus’s decision. Had he ever been? So much had happened, Odysseus didn’t know when Eurylochus had last actually been content with a decision Odysseus had made. Was it the decision to trick their way into Troy and end the war? Was that truly the last time? Still, Eurylochus backed off, moving so Odysseus and Polites could go get ready to reach shore. 

Odysseus grabbed his things in silence, ignoring the feeling of eyes boring into him. He…

He needed to figure out how to act normally around Eurylochus or the distrust that boiled over into mutiny would begin to stew again. Because as things were, this wasn’t sustainable. 

All Odysseus could see when he looked at Eurylochus was the man that opened the wind bag. Odysseus knew that wasn’t fair- that hadn’t happened yet! But at the same time… how had Eurylochus gotten that untrusting anyways? When had things gotten so bad?

“I’m ready whenever you are.” Polites’s voice cut through Odysseus’s thoughts. He was watching Odysseus gather his things with a curious expression. 

“Right, yeah.” Odysseus nodded. “I’m ready. Let’s go.”

“This island will have food for us, I just know it!” Polites beamed. 

Odysseus couldn’t help but smile back.

Chapter Text

Odysseus walked in silence next to Polites long after they were out of sight of the boats. Still, he relaxed as they got further and further away. 

He felt Polites’s eyes on him. “What is it?”

“You’ve been nervous ever since you got that vision. Everyone’s back at the ships, it’s alright. A lot has been going on, and you’re…” Polites shook his head. “I’ve never seen you like this. I'm worried. Why don’t you take a chance to breathe, let your wings out.”

Odysseus hesitated for a moment, glancing over his shoulder. There were no ships in sight. No one was there…

“Alright.”

Polites was about to say something else, and ended up staring blankly at Odysseus for a moment, before smiling warmly. 

Odysseus took his pileus off, letting the wings behind his ears fluff out somewhat. After a moment he used them to shield his eyes while he bent down to unwrap his ankles. 

“The ones on the ankles are actually what’s supposed to do most of the carrying.” Odysseus spoke, stretching out the wings in question as well as he could, digging deep in his memories to what Hermes had taught him. “But my wings are stunted, and brittle. So it’s different for me than it is for my great-grandfather or Telemachus.”

Odysseus couldn’t tell anyone what had happened. Not the big things. He couldn’t look Polites in the eyes and say he watched him die. He couldn’t let Polites know just how far he had fallen. That was his weight to bear, especially since he had already decided he was saving as many people as he could. 

He couldn’t even really acknowledge Hermes as his kin- he knew before they had met Hermes had stayed as far away from any mortal blood ties as he could, so if the news got back to him that Odysseus was claiming such a thing, it was more than likely he would just avoid Odysseus entirely, and Odysseus already knew he wouldn’t be able to bear that. 

But for some reason it was just so easy to say the small things. Give Polites a little bit of himself, just for a moment. 

“Your wings could carry you, though?” 

“I need to stretch them, and it would probably take… a while, but.” He let his side wings fluff out when he had unwrapped his torso, but kept them mostly closed. He winced at the brittle and broken feathers he saw. “… it might not be this set. Too many chances for things to go wrong before…” he cut himself off. 

Polites moved close. He tilted his head as he reached up for one of the wings behind Odysseus’s ears. 

Odysseus hesitated, then nodded. He let Polites trace the edges of the wing, brushing away the waxy film of powder that had built up. Polites’s other hand was behind his back, but Odysseus remembered enough about the last time he had been at peace with Polites before everything that he lifted a wing to bat at Polites’s hand before the waterskin could be dumped over him. “ Hey! ”

Polites laughed at that, putting the water away again. “Fiiine, fine. You really should tend to them though, don’t you think? While you have the chance to?”

Odysseus pulled the wing he batted at Polites with back to him. He… really didn’t need questions about the gold staining the insides of them (not when he barely had an answer himself), and even light motion like that was hard on his wings anyways. 

“… yeah. They’re in dire need of a cleaning. Or, at least the ones behind my ears are. The others are still fresh.” Odysseus sighed. “Can you go keep an eye out while I do? Make sure no one comes close?”

Polites nodded. “Of course. I’ll be within earshot, but I’ll keep watch.” 

“Thank you, my friend. And- If you run into… any inhabitants here. They aren’t a threat, but don’t eat the fruit, okay?”

Polites tilted his head, but nodded before heading out of sight to block the path between the ship and where Odysseus was. Odysseus let out a breath. As much as Polites was a comfort, he still…

Odysseus sat on the ground, wetting a cloth and starting to clean the wings on his head. He had to clean up the improper buildup of powder down before he was able to truly tend to them. Maybe the one good thing about the fact that his wings had only just grown back was that they wouldn’t have any oily buildup from improper care. 

… The fact that he was trying to think of anything about how he used to treat his wings as “the good thing” about it was a bit upsetting, actually. Hermes had told him many times now how horrifying the state his wings were in when they met was. But he couldn’t exactly fix the state they were in. He had already come to the conclusion that his wings were brittle enough and he would be facing threats enough that they might not be salvageable by the time he got to Circe’s island. 

He fluffed out his newly cleaned head wings, and turned his attention to the other sets. 

… What if they didn’t have to go to Circe’s island? It… truthfully if Odysseus wanted to keep everyone alive- and he did, no matter what troubles his men had gotten him into he wanted to get them all home- he would be stopping Poseidon from ever turning on them, so there would be no storm to fear. There would be no wind bag, there would be no sunken fleet. Odysseus’s plan would mean that Hermes would have no reason to grant divine intervention. 

What reason would Hermes have to be part of his life then? When he had always been clear that he tried to avoid mortal kin?

Was that the price he would pay for keeping everyone alive?

——

Polites came back after a while. “Odysseus? It’s getting a bit late, we-“

Odysseus had wrapped his wings around himself, but he dropped them and started to stand. “Polites. Apologies, I-“ 

“What’s wrong?”

Odysseus hesitated, and Polites crossed the distance between them. 

“I know you said you can’t tell me the things you’ve seen, but it’s clear they weigh on you. You look at me like I’ll disappear the moment you look away, yet your shoulders sag in relief when I turn to leave. You’ll barely look at Eurylochus. I don’t know what he did to you, but neither does he, Ody. You don’t have to say what happened, but-“

“ Enough, Polites!” Odysseus snapped. His wings flared out, feathers puffing up. 

Odysseus watched Polites’s eyes widen at the sight of the underside of his wings. Odysseus drew them closed and up to his sides, even as they were sore from such a sudden motion. 

“Ody-“

“I’m not talking about it.”

Polites raised his hands in mock surrender, expression softening. He looked… worried. Sad. He looked like he was trying to appease a wounded animal. … which was more accurate than Odysseus would like, considering the way his wings were bristling even as he tried to keep them held close. 

“Okay. We won’t. But… maybe I could still help?” Polites offered with a warm smile on his face. “I know it’s an adjustment, but the war is over. We’re going home, we can stop acting like soldiers who could die at-“

“No we can’t.” Odysseus shook his head quickly. “There are too many dangers between here and there. We can only stop fighting when we’re home.”

“… isn’t it still worth trying though? Holding on so tight to the pain you’ve been through will only make it more painful.”

Odysseus shook his head and started to walk. “… let’s just see if there are any animals here to hunt. If you find fruit, cut it open and check its insides. Don’t eat it if it glows.”

Polites tried to say something else, but Odysseus had stopped listening. 

He would have to get Polites home in spite of the carefree man’s heart. He would have to go against everything Polites stood for. 

Had he forgotten that? That he had to be as ruthless as the Earth-Shaker to get home?

Something rushed by and his sword was drawn before those familiar voices chirped out a “welcome!” He had pulled Polites close to him, wrapping a wing around him to shield him. 

After a moment Odysseus resheathed his sword. The wide eyes of the tiny creatures around them stared up. 

“Hello. We’re only here for food.” Polites spoke, drawing an echo from the creatures. 

“Polites no, the food they eat is-“

“Here you go!” Several of them held up a pile of lotus fruit out to Polites. 

Polites took one, breaking into the skin to examine the flesh of the fruit inside- and saw that tell-tale glow. He hummed softly. “I’m sorry, friends. We can’t eat this food. Is there somewhere else we could go?”

“The cave!” “ Scary cave! ” The lotus eaters chimed, a few pointing east. “That way!”

“Oh! So there’s a cave where we can feast… thank you my friends.” He reached down to pat one of them on the head, leading to several more nuzzling up to him. He chuckled softly before moving away from them and returning to Odysseus’s side. 

As they started walking, Odysseus sighed. “The place with food will be dangerous. There’s a monstrous son of the lord of the tides living there.”

Polites glanced over at Odysseus, expression curious. 

“But he shepherds a flock of sheep. Enough to keep our men fed for the rest of our way home.”

“Is it worth it?”

“No, but there’s no other way. Not with how low our supplies are.” Odysseus couldn’t bring himself to fully look at Polites. “You won’t be one of the ones going.”

Polites didn’t respond to that. 

“I need to wrap my wings up again.” Odysseus stopped walking to begin doing so. 

“Let me help?” Polites placed his hands over Odysseus’s, before lightly tugging the cloth out of Odysseus’s hands. 

Odysseus let Polites go behind him and start wrapping the wings on his sides up.

“I know you’re hurting, Odysseus. I can see in your face how much guilt you hold in your heart. But please… we can share the weight, if you just tell me.”

What was he supposed to say to that? He couldn’t exactly collapse at Polites’s feet and confess just how many people were dead because of him. Because of his mistakes. He couldn’t just say that a cyclops killed Polites and he doomed his entire fleet because he didn’t return the favor. 

He didn’t say anything. He stayed silent, the wings behind his ears angled so he didn’t have to look at Polites’s face when his friend finished wrapping the wings at his sides and moved to stand in front of him. 

Polites didn’t push, instead tugging Odysseus’s Pileus from out of his belt loop and slid it over his head, gently tucking it over his wings, making sure not one feather was in sight. 

“Greet the world with open arms. Give it a try?”

Odysseus said nothing as he wrapped his ankles up. 

“Try and relax, my friend.”

Odysseus knew better. 

Chapter Text

Odysseus had gathered some of his men. Or, well, he asked Eurylochus to gather them. He needed the men that would best be able to be stealthy, to react quickly, and to stay alive. As things were, Eurylochus knew the men better. Odysseus hadn’t known them in a decade, after all. 

He shoved down the thought in the back of his head that this would just make the crew be more on Eurylochus’s side when things went wrong. He didn’t have to think about that because they wouldn’t . 

“Alright. The inhabitants on that last island warned us. There will be sheep, enough that we’d have enough food to get us home.” Odysseus knew there would be excitement at that, so he waited for it to die down before continuing. “ But. There are also monsters. A cyclops tends to those sheep, and if we just rush in there and start killing sheep we’ll anger him, and doom ourselves.”

“We should get the jump on him, kill him first!” One of the crew chimes in. 

Odysseus shook his head. “I understand the enthusiasm, but that isn’t safe. Cyclopses are huge, and if we try and fail he could do a lot of damage- and even if we did kill him, there’s the chance he could fall and block our way out of the cave.”  

Odysseus looked between each of the men. Most of them were glancing between each other and their captain. Odysseus met Eurylochus’s eyes- Eurylochus was just staring at him. 

“Listen.” Odysseus sighed. “I know we need the food, you’re going to want to just kill the sheep and carry them away. But I need to know that all of you will follow my lead in there, okay?”

There were noises of affirmation from the crew, before Eurylochus spoke. “What’s the plan then, captain?”

“We will go in there without touching the sheep and invoke guest rights. I will offer some of our wine.” He holds up the wineskin that he had on his belt. “I’ve already mixed some of that fruit Polites and I found into it. That should knock him out. We’ll have to see what exactly the conditions are from there, but once he’s out we’ll be able to talk freely. That’s when some of us will start grabbing the sheep, and some of us will find a way to kill the cyclops, so long as he doesn’t pass out in our way.”

Most of the men in the group were nodding to each other, getting pumped up for the task at hand. But Eurylochus’s brow was furrowed. 

“Are you not worried that violating guest rights like that will anger the gods?” The question drew others attention to Eurylochus, and there were curious mutterings between men. “It would be different if we just snuck in and ambushed him, but by invoking xenia-“

“ I know .” Odysseus bit out. That was the part of the plan that stressed him out the most, enough to make his wings strain against their wrappings trying to flap just to dispel the anxious energy. Instead his clothes just rustled a little.  “But I’ve been thinking things over since I found out about this, and this is the plan with the least risk.” He hesitated. 

Odysseus knew he couldn’t trust his crew. Not fully. They were on his side, followed his commands, right now. But the moment the winds turned, the moment sailing wasn’t smooth… they had proven time and time again that if things went bad they’d blame him regardless. But… at the same time… they weren’t stupid. They had all survived war same as him. 

“Genuinely, if you have another idea, Eurylochus- if any of you have other ideas- tell me. I want to do this as safely as possible.” Odysseus offered. A small way to hopefully show his men that he relied on them. 

Eurylochus was silent for a moment. “… How do you plan to avoid pissing the gods off with this plan?”

“None of us will use our names or anything identifying. And we’ll move quickly. The lotus won’t keep him down long, especially once we harm him. We have to kill him.” Odysseus looked away from his men. “And when we prepare the meat, the best cuts will be sacrificed. Most of it will go to the Lord of the Tides, some of it will go to the Thunderbringer as penance for breaking xenia.”

Eurylochus was still just staring at him. Odysseus had no clue what his second in command was thinking, all he could do was shove away the instinctual fear that Eurylochus was thinking the worst. 

Thankfully, though, the rest of the men seemed placated by his plan, and they all moved to get ready. 

“Odysseus, may I speak with you?” Eurylochus asked, voice quiet. 

Odysseus almost denied. They had too much to worry about. Why did he always choose the worst times to ask about the most serious of things? But…

“We have to be quick, but… speak.” Odysseus nodded. 

Maybe he was selfish. Maybe that was it. He didn’t want to have to bear the betrayal from his second in command, his brother in law, again. So he was doing what he could. 

That had to be it. 

“You know things we don’t.”

Odysseus froze. 

Eurylochus took that as a sign to keep going. “The way you talk of this cyclops… Polites met the inhabitants of the island too, and said nothing about any of this. Nothing but that there was a cave of food, and you weren’t letting him join us to take any of it.”

“It isn’t worth the risk.”

“No. That’s not enough of a reason, Odysseus. Not when you’re taking me. If it was just the risk we’d both be staying at the ship, like when you took Troy.”

Odysseus let out a breath. “Eurylochus-“

“And that’s not the only thing.” He interrupted. His gaze felt like it was burning through Odysseus to the core. 

“I…” Odysseus latched on to the same thing he had told Polites and Athena. “You’re right. I had a vision. I can’t tell you about most of it, but… it’s information I needed to get us all home.”

Eurylochus opened his mouth to speak, but Odysseus cut him off. 

“… Not right now. Please. We’re going into danger, we need to be focused.” Odysseus walked away before he could hear if Eurylochus would reply. 

He had to keep it together. His wings had already been straining against the coverings like crazy, he knew it would be worse once they were actually in there. He had to stay focused. He couldn’t be thinking about his crew stabbing him in the back. Not right here, not right now, when they needed to work together to get the cyclops out of the way and get food. 

It was a risk. He knew that. But he also knew there was no better source of food, and his men would turn on him sooner if he let them starve. 

He couldn’t get away with playing things safe, not if he wanted to get home. 

When they went ashore, Odysseus stepped away from his men for a moment. He told them the truth.  He was performing libation- pouring out wine as an offering. He had poured this wine into the bowl to prepare for the offering and then poured the rest of the wine into the wine skin and mixed it with the lotus fruit. 

With the offering he spoke a prayer. Even though it felt almost wrong to pray to a god that had become family as if they were strangers. 

“Lord Hermes, I ask that you watch over us in this act of deceit. We are travelers, in need of luck. My silver tongue has long been tarnished by time, yet I need to guide my men home.” He hesitated. “… it is hard without you here.” He let himself be weak, for a moment. He shouldn’t- it wouldn’t make sense to anyone, and if Hermes were truly listening he would have every right to smite a stranger that claimed such familiarity with a god. But Odysseus was just a man, just a man who missed his family. “ I wish I didn’t have to sacrifice knowing you to get home fast… ” he mumbled under his breath. 

He had to stand there a moment, willing his wings to still. The wine had soaked into the ground by the time he rejoined his men. 

It was time to face the monster. None of them would die on Odysseus’s watch.

Chapter Text

Odysseus and his crew hadn’t been in the cave for long at all, but he already felt like he was suffocating, as if the cave had collapsed on him specifically. 

He had only been there once, and it had been over a decade ago at that point. He shouldn’t even remember what it looked like. 

But it was the smell more than anything. The smell of sheep was one thing, sure. But the specific smell of sheep that were tended to in the cave of a monster- not exactly known for hygiene themselves-

It was as if he was frozen watching Polites fall in front of him all over again. 

A hand on his shoulder jolted him out of his thoughts. Eurylochus was there at his side. “Sir. Where should we wait for the cyclops?”

Odysseus took a breath. “Let’s stay on this side of the cave. Look over there, among those rocks.” He gestured. “It’s hard to see in the shadows but doesn’t that look like a giant club? We should stay away from it so he doesn’t have a chance to grab it before we’re done.”

“Understood. Men, to me. Remember what our captain said. While we’re in here, we have no names.” Eurylochus made sure all the men gathered close, and there they waited. 

Sheep wandered around, occasionally piercing through the silence with a bleat here or there. Every muscle in Odysseus’s body was held taut, urging him to spring into action and bolt the moment the threat arrived. 

Even still he wasn’t ready when the ground beneath them shook with the lumbering steps of the cyclops. They could feel it coming more than they heard it- the shaking was enough to reverberate into his wings. Or maybe they were just shaking anyways. 

“Who are you?”

Odysseus stepped forward, in front of his men. Instinct would have had him shield them behind his wings, keep the eye of this monster off of them. As it was though, he couldn’t hide them. All he could do was keep the cyclops' attention with his words. 

“Hey there.” His voice was quieter at first than he would have hoped, but it got the cyclops looking at him. He took a breath, pushing out words from in his chest with a confidence he didn’t possess. “We’re just travelers, we come in peace. We bring a gift, and stories, should you have us.”

The cyclops leaned down, and it took all Odysseus had not to bolt. “A gift?” In an instant a hand was around Odysseus. He tried to adjust but at the smallest movement he was gripped tighter- he swore he heard a crack but maybe he just felt it. 

He had to keep his voice steady, even as the cyclops stood and his men were far below. Even as the wings on his sides were being crushed . “A gift. We have the world’s best tasting wine- I actually have a wineskin with some of it right here on me. I offer this for you to drink. One sip and you’ll understand why I believe it’s a suitable gift for one such as yourself.” He offered a beaming smile.

“I see.” The cyclops loosened his grip just a little, enough for Odysseus to produce the wine laced with lotus. He held it out to show the cyclops, not quite tipping it out but indicating that he would. 

The cyclops held Odysseus above his head and opened his mouth, allowing Odysseus to pour the wine for him. 

“I’d like to thank you.” The cyclops said, holding Odysseus in front of his face and opening his hand palm up, allowing Odysseus a little bit of free movement- there was no way down but at least he wasn't being crushed. “What is your name, traveler?”

Odysseus smiled. Friendly, unassuming. Oh, of course he would give his name! The cyclops had just accepted the contract of xenia, had just accepted his gift, it was only fair! “I am Nobody. Might I ask yours, my host?”

“I am called Polyphemus.” He said. Odysseus was ignoring how far off the ground he was. He didn’t have a way to safely get down. That didn’t matter. “For your gift, I offer one in return.”

Odysseus nodded. “Thank you, gracious host, for accepting us into your home.”

“Yes. I will eat Nobody last.”

Odysseus could’ve sworn he heard a laugh at that. Maybe it was his own. It didn’t exactly feel like he was in his body at the moment. Because even still, even still. Had the sheep just been an excuse all along? “I see.” He heard himself distantly. 

“You shall be the final man to die—“ Polyphemus’s voice trailed off into nothing, as the world around Odysseus was falling- or, no, that was him. He was falling. He crouched low, clinging to the cyclops’ hand. He could only hope it wouldn’t crush him. 

Polyphemus’s body hit the ground and the whole world shook with the impact, but Odysseus stayed steady. He was in luck, Polyphemus’s hand had stayed palm up, cradling him safely. 

Odysseus took a moment to catch his breath, before turning to his men, who were standing a little ways away. He moved to them, looking at the cave around him. 

“We don’t have much time.” Odysseus motioned them to gather close, so he could speak softer. If they woke the cyclops this would all be for nothing. “He didn’t notice the taste of lotus in the wine. But this isn’t the end. Start moving the sheep, once they’re all out we can kill him.“

“Sir!” One of his men interrupted. “Where’s Eur-“ another elbowed him in the side “ah- the second in command. He’s not with us.”

Odysseus’s eyes went wide, and he turned to look around the cave more. Where, where- there , there was motion over there. His eyes were drawn to the Cyclops’s leg. Eurylochus was pinned, trying to scramble out from under the monster. 

Odysseus was moving before he could think. He was at Eurylochus’s side, trying to brace against the monster’s body to find purchase and pull Eurylochus out in an instant. 

“Captain…” Eurylochus’s voice was low, and he was staying relatively quiet despite the clear pain he must be in. 

“It’ll be alright, Eurylochus. I’ll get you out of here.” Odysseus’s mind was racing. This hadn’t been an issue last time. How much could he get away with before the cyclops woke up? 

“Take a breath.”

The world stilled. Everything quieted, and Odysseus’s thoughts calmed a bit. 

He breathed in, and out. 

“Athena!” 

“Think this through, Odysseus. I know you wouldn’t just forget what I’ve taught you.”

He couldn’t see her, but he felt motion in the stilled world. Behind him- or maybe next to Eurylochus? It was… oddly hard to track. 

If he tried to kill Polyphemus now odds were that the cyclops would thrash around and crush Eurylochus, so that was out. He likely wouldn’t be able to cut the leg off fast enough before the cyclops woke either. 

Maybe if they wedged the club under the cyclops’s leg to make room for Eurylochus to be pulled out? That would still run the risk of waking him, but nowhere near the same as hurting him would. Pain would guarantee him waking up, pushing him around a little would only risk it. All he needed was a little luck. 

“ Good .” Athena’s presence moved further away as the world went back into motion. 

Odysseus began giving orders to the men that had followed him to Eurylochus’s side.  

“I saw he had a club among the rocks there. We can use that for leverage to get him off of Eurylochus. I need all our hands on that, now.”

“And if that wakes him?”

“May Hermes, bringer of luck, keep that from happening.”

Odysseus moved with his men, as much as he wished he didn’t have to leave Eurylochus’s side. They needed every man if they wanted to move that club. He fought past the pain he was in, and dragged the club over to the cyclops’s body with every other man there. 

They lined up the club, ready to wedge it under the cyclops’s leg. 

“One second.” Odysseus grabbed a spear off the ground from where someone had discarded it in order to help with the club. “Call out the moment Eurylochus is safe, and I’ll plunge this into his throat.”  He began to climb onto the cyclops’s prone body. He had to take a risk with this, yes, but he wouldn’t push their luck. He couldn’t make the same mistake again. 

“Now!” He heard his men say, as they moved in unison. He didn’t have the best view of them from where he was, but he trusted them to do their part. What other choice did he have?

His heart felt like it was trying to break out of his chest. He had to tuck the spear in the crook of his elbow and use both hands to adjust his pileus to hide his wings. The ones on his ankles felt like they were trying to achieve liftoff in spite of the wrappings around them. Was this one moment of downtime waiting for his time to act really enough to get him this worked up?

He had to shove it down. They had to survive, he had to get them out of there alive. That was what he had to focus on. 

“Sir! He’s out!” He heard someone call to him. 

He didn’t hesitate. He plunged the spear into the cyclops’s throat with every bit of strength he had in him. As the cyclops began to stir, roaring out in pain, he drew the spear back and plunged it in again. 

He felt a hand start to close around him, and he let go of the spear to try and clamber out of the way, making his way onto the cyclops’s shoulder as the world started to get further away. The hand was no longer there, and everything lurched. The cyclops was on his knees, trying to stand. 

“Captain!” Someone cried. 

“Father” Polyphemus choked out, and Odysseus’s blood went cold. “As I draw my final breath I plea,” Odysseus had to move quickly. “punish those that have harmed me,” he made a scramble for the cyclops’s neck “and their captain most of all, Nobo-“ he plunged his sword into where the spear still stuck out, and dragged it outwards, slitting the Cyclops’s throat. 

He was covered in blood but he couldn’t think about that. The cyclops was falling forward. 

“Watch out!” He called, stabbing his sword into the side of the cyclops’s neck for something to hold on to. 

This time none of his men were in the way. Odysseus threw himself away from the cyclops and out to the side so he himself wouldn’t be crushed. He couldn’t ignore the ache that wracked his whole body when he landed, but they had to move. 

He stood to face his men. Eurylochus was being supported by some of the others, good. 

He split the crew into two groups. One group was to start gathering the sheep, the second was to prepare a place to make sacrifices. Eurylochus and those helping him stand were going to go back to the ships, both so Eurylochus could be tended to, and so more hands could be gathered to help with preparing the sheep or setting up the sacrifice. 

Odysseus joined the group preparing the sacrifice. He had to ensure it was done properly. Their survival could depend on it, especially considering when they exited the cave the sky was beginning to darken.

Chapter Text

Rain was starting to fall as sacrifices were made out to Poseidon. The finest cuts of meat were presented upon the makeshift altar they had put together. The best of their incense that they still had on the ships was lit. They poured out the last of their wine. They might have been low on supplies overall but absolutely no expense was spared. 

Odysseus was overseeing everything, weight braced on a spear. It wasn’t as if he could have someone check on him, by any means, not when the pain was from his definitely crushed wings. His torso would likely be bruised too, but that didn’t matter. None of it mattered. 

All that mattered was getting everyone home, and to do that he had to ensure proper sacrifices were offered and proper prayers were made.

There were more cyclopses around too, somewhere on the island, so they had to get this done and go. 

“Odysseus, come on.” A voice cut through his thoughts. “Everything’s been taken care of. You need to rest.” Polites was standing there. Odysseus didn’t know when he had snuck up on him. That… was concerning, was he really that out of it that someone could sneak up on him like this?

“I don’t need to rest until we all can.” Odysseus gripped the spear tighter, held himself more upright. Polites just narrowed his eyes when Odysseus staggered despite standing still. 

Odysseus and Polites locked eyes. Just because Polites was his best friend didn’t mean he was just going to back down. He had to make sure everything that needed done was done. 

Polites moved closer, looking Odysseus up and down. “You… I see how you’re gripping that spear. You’re hurt, aren’t you?”

“I’m fine, Polites.” Odysseus hissed out. “And we aren’t talking about this out here.” He inclined his head towards the men that were around performing sacrifices or milling around waiting for time to set off again. “They need their captain- their king. How would it look if I left them to do this while I retired to my quarters?”

Polites put one hand on either of Odysseus’s arms, and kicked the spear out from his grip. He immediately buckled, but Polites caught him, holding him up. “How would it look if their king collapsed in front of them because he didn’t think they could be left alone?”

Odysseus didn’t respond, too focused on trying to stay conscious as everything around was suddenly becoming too much. 

“Alright. Come on.” Polites sighed, and slung one of Odysseus’s arms over his shoulder, carrying his weight. “Let’s get you looked over on the ship.” Odysseus’s eyes widened, and Polites had to stop him from pulling away. “Hey, no, I’ll look over you. I’m no medic by any means but I wouldn’t put you in danger either.”

Odysseus relaxed at that, and let himself be led away. 

He faded in and out of awareness for a while. Not needing to fight to get everyone out alive anymore seemed to mean his mind and body decided they could now give out on him. 

Polites looked him over, but Odysseus stopped him from unwrapping the wings on his torso. 

“ It’ll just hurt more to re-wrap them, and there’s no fixing this right now… ” he muttered. Polites backed off at that, and tended to his other aches as much as was possible. 

Things really became a blur after that. Odysseus was tired . But he couldn’t rest, not as the wind continued to pick up outside. 

Polites was in and out of his quarters a few times, giving updates on things- when the sacrifices were finished, when the meat was all divided between the ships, when the crew was loading up. Odysseus didn’t retain any of the specifics, but he was grateful to be kept in the loop anyways. 

As much as he tried to fight it, Odysseus did eventually fall asleep. Everything was so heavy, even the bone-deep ache couldn’t keep him awake- it just covered every part of him and weighed him down more. 

——

He had been flying, trying to reach something that only got further and further away. He was desperately pushing harder and faster, trying to close the distance. But his wings gave out, and he fell

With no one to catch him. 

Odysseus jolted awake with a gasp. Everything was hazy. He couldn’t catch his breath. 

It was dark, and it took all he had to not trip over something or other, and to navigate to the door. On his way out though, he did trip on something- something that let out a grunt of surprise. 

Odysseus blinked, as if that would let him see more than shadows in the darkness. “Hi?”

There was rustling around in the darkness. It sounded as if whoever he just tripped over got to their feet. 

“Ody?”

“ Eurylochus? ” Odysseus sighed, grateful for the darkness when he realized the wings on his head were fluffed up in surprise. Polites must have uncovered them at some point. “What are you doing ? It’s night- and shouldn’t you be resting? In case you forgot, a cyclops fell on you?” What was Eurylochus doing on the ground outside Odysseus’s quarters?

There was a wry laugh, and a hand on Odysseus’s arm. He reached out and found Eurylochus’s shoulder.

“You didn’t seem to be doing much better last I saw you.” Eurylochus replied. “Polites had to drag you onto the ship, in case you forgot . 

Odysseus rolled his eyes, huffing so Eurylochus could hear his mock annoyance. “Riiight. I’m fine, Eurylochus. I was just going to get some air. What were you-“

“Mind if I join you?”

Odysseus’s previous thought process was cut short as he felt the wings behind his ears flare out. That was the last thing he wanted- he would have to go back into his room to find a way to cover his wings, in the dark, and Eurylochus would question what he was doing-

Or he could just… tell him. Polites had asked if they could do as much. 

But… that was dangerous. That was extremely dangerous. Odysseus had seen just where that could lead- it led to a sword in the back and his last 36 men dead. It led to years trapped and suffocated in the magic of a goddess that wouldn’t keep her hands off of him, it led to despair and loss and loneliness and no connection even to the one thread of safety he ever had while away from home, because there he was hidden from Hermes. 

He was treating Eurylochus like he had already opened the wind bag, but what else could he do? He had no way to combat the crew’s doubt, and Eurylochus had a way with them all that Odysseus seemed to have lost. 

But they weren’t in danger right now- at least, not compared to then. Their stomachs were full, no one had died. 

“You can tell me no, you know.” Eurylochus spoke again. 

“No, it’s not…” Odysseus sighed. What was he doing? “You can. You can join me. Just… depending on how much visibility there is- it was getting cloudy last I remember?” Odysseus shook his head. “Doesn’t matter. Just… I have something that you need to know, but… it will likely require an explanation.”

Eurylochus pulled back. Odysseus could no longer tell where he was in the darkness now that they weren’t in contact with each other. “What is it?”

“I need you to swear to me that you’ll let me explain before you do anything.” Odysseus winced at how cold his voice got. “It- you’re my second in command, if anyone deserves to know you do, but… I need to know it’s safe. I need you to swear it.”

Silence, for a moment. And then motion. There was a hand on his shoulder. “I’ll listen, whatever you have to tell me. I swear it.”

“Alright. Then, it would be best if we stepped into my quarters for a moment.” Odysseus was the one to pull away from Eurylochus this time, turning towards his room. 

“Is this something Polites should know too?” Eurylochus asked. When no answer came, he sighed. “Or… is it something he already knows?”

“Polites, Diomedes, my family, and my Lady Athena are the only ones who know of this.” Odysseus said as he held the door for Eurylochus to follow. “But I trust you, and it will likely come up at some point.” Once he could tell Eurylochus was inside he closed the door and felt his way to where an oil lamp was. 

“I see. Is there a reason you’re telling me now , of all times?”

Odysseus didn’t answer, not right away. Instead he lit the oil lamp and turned to face Eurylochus, wings framing his face- not to intimidate, but to illustrate. 

He watched as Eurylochus’s expression shifted. Anticipation, to surprise, to contemplation. There… wasn’t even a hint of suspicion. It seemed like maybe Eurylochus would hear him out.

Odysseus took a breath. In, and out. 

“I never let any of you know about this because for most of my life I thought it was a curse.” He began. He set the lamp down so he could sit on the edge of his bed and show his- also uncovered, probably because of Polites- winged ankles. “These sets, and also a set on my sides.” He gestured without touching- that would just cause pain to arc through the broken wings. 

Eurylochus’s eyes narrowed. “Didn’t the cyclops-“

“That’s how I got hurt.” Odysseus nodded. “But that’s not important right now. Once we reach safe shores I will likely have to cut them off. They’re too broken.” At the shock in Eurylochus’s expression he forged ahead. “But that doesn’t matter. All that matters is that in the vision I had of our way home, I also learned that the wings aren’t a curse, they’re a sign I am kin to a god.”

“ What? ” Oh, and there was that suspicion, there was that fear. “Ody, you can’t be serious-“

“I am. Please, Eurylochus-“ he took a breath. “Listen to me. I haven’t met him, but my great grandfather is a god. I’m still as mortal as any of you though, trying to make it home, to my family. And to get you home to yours.”

Odysseus began wrapping his ankles, letting Eurylochus sit with this for a bit. 

It went about as well as Odysseus could have hoped, right? No sword was drawn on him, no threats or plans of sacrifice were made. 

He stood and grabbed his pileus, carefully tucking his head wings into it. Eurylochus was just staring at him. 

“I’m going to get some air, if you’d like to join me.” Odysseus said, before extinguishing the lamp to navigate in the darkness. 

Chapter Text

It would be far more comfortable to let his wings out. They stirred under their coverings, and he knew they were seeking the wind flow around them. Even if they couldn’t generate lift, it always felt better to let them flutter in the wind. 

But the dark sky and unsteady sea were a far cry from the favorable conditions he had gotten used to. And one man who knew about his wings and seemed uncertain of them was a far cry from Penelope’s loving hands, working over each feather. A far cry from Telemachus’s eager expression as he started to lift Odysseus into the sky only for Odysseus to break away in a burst of speed. A far cry from Hermes, from white wings batting against brown, from gentle yet insistent preening, from the assertion that his wings weren’t a curse but a gift. 

Eurylochus was standing at Odysseus’s right, gazing out across the sea. He didn’t know what was in store for them. If he knew what exactly the looming storm meant he likely would turn on Odysseus there and then. A repeat of what he spoke of on the sun god’s island, maybe. But he had no way to know the worsening weather was because Odysseus couldn’t kill the cyclops fast enough, not yet. So why wouldn’t he say anything?

Odysseus would have let his wings loose- at least the uninjured ones- but they were on the deck, where any of the crew could come see if they woke up. Even though the night was cloudy, rain was falling down a bit more insistently every moment, there was still just enough light to see. And with shadows wreathing everything, his men were just as likely to think there was a monster as they were to recognize their captain. 

As the night went on, as the silence continued, the waves were growing. 

“We’re going to have to wake the crew soon.” Odysseus was the one to break the silence. He didn’t look over to Eurylochus. 

“You’re still injured. I can handle it, if-“

Odysseus shook his head. “No. I know where to lead us. Just…” 

If he said not to fight his orders, would that make Eurylochus balk against them harder? If he tried to keep a tight rein on everything, would his grip slip?

“You could tell me where to go. You can’t explain why, that’s okay, but can you not tell me where to take us?”

“I don’t know exactly where it is, just what to look for, honestly.” Odysseus leaned up against the ship’s railing. “You remember the legends of the wind god’s island in the sky, right?”

The legends Eurylochus had immediately disputed, when an island was right there in front of them. Odysseus couldn’t see the skeptical look on his face, but he remembered it well enough. 

“I remember. Are you saying that it’s… near here? That’s-“

“I know it sounds crazy, but… yeah. I plan to dock our ships below it, anchor them with harpoons. It will hold us in place amidst the storm long enough for me to try to do something to get us out of this.” 

“You aren’t going to do what I think you’ll do… are you?”

Odysseus froze at that. Right. Right, this plan was insane enough, Eurylochus had hated it last time too. Of course that wouldn’t change. Of course he would still doubt. At least this conversation was happening away from any of the crew this time, but still. “I’m not going to piss off a god, I wouldn’t risk us like that. I know how dangerous this sounds, but-“

“It is dangerous.” Eurylochus interrupted. “You’re still injured. If this is the only way forward, surely someone else can do it.”

That… wasn’t the protest Odysseus expected. “I’ll be fine. I’m used to the danger. Besides, Aeolus is mischievous and tricky, she’ll try to trick us into a game we can’t win, and we’ll end up further from home.” 

There was a hand on his shoulder, and Odysseus turned. Eurylochus’s expression was full of worry, even as hard to discern in the darkness as it was. “At least take me with you.”

“Why?” Odysseus bit out. There was more venom to it than he really intended if the shift in expression on Eurylochus’s face was any indication. “Do you really doubt my judgement that much?”

“Odysseus-“ Eurylochus started to say, but seemed to cut himself off. 

What could he say? All he ever did was doubt, that’s all that Odysseus could remember of him after he killed the rest of the crew and himself for food. What could he do? All he did was go against Odysseus, and get them all into trouble. 

“Did I do something to you in your vision?”

Odysseus froze, eyes wide. He couldn’t school his expression in time to maintain control as he locked eyes with Eurylochus. How was he supposed to answer that? 

His reaction was answer enough, of course. 

Eurylochus sighed. “I… I know you can’t tell us what your vision showed. But I swear to you, if you take me with you to speak with the wind god I will only act to keep us safe. And if what I do is there, then-“

“It’s not.” Odysseus winced at just how quiet his voice was. “But I need to speak with Aeolus somewhat privately anyways.”

Eurylochus didn’t reply. Or, maybe he was about to, but Odysseus continued anyways. 

“I’m going to attempt to get the wind god’s aid with less trickery this time. But if rumors are spread among the crew that I come back with treasure rather than something that helps our situation…” he took a breath. “I need you to try to keep that under control. I need you to be on my side, not the crew’s. Can you do that for me?”

“I will.” Eurylochus said. And sure, it was probably a lie. He was probably just placating Odysseus, it wasn’t like he listened to the assurances that there was no treasure last time. 

But still, but still. 

Odysseus was selfish. He had long since accepted that fact. So if he let himself pretend to believe Eurylochus for a moment, it was because he wanted his friend back, for a moment. That’s all. 

“Thank you.”

The storm was growing around them. The waves were shaking things more and more. And people were starting to wake up. 

“Which way should I steer us, captain?”

Odysseus stood up straight. He took a breath, in and out. “Signal for the other ships in the fleet. Make sure they follow ours. We’re gonna try and stay where the tide is flat, but they’ll need to stay behind us or they could fail.”

Eurylochus nodded, and the silent stillness they had been resting in was fully shredded, cut through with the motion of the crew waking up and beginning to man their stations. 

“Comrades!” Odysseus’s voice pierced the night as he settled into his role of captain, a role accentuated by the reply of ‘ sir! ’ from all around. “Brace for a storm, like none we’ve had to brave before!”

Chapter Text

Odysseus began the climb up. He was glad that the sea directly below the island was so calm, because that meant the rope wouldn’t be moving around too much due to the ship being battered by waves. It still moved around some, and he lamented how damaged his wings were. If they hadn’t been he would have just caved and let his wings out despite still being low enough for the crew to possibly catch sight of them. But they were too broken to bear his weight. 

It was fine though, it had to be. He had made this climb last time with no issue, there was no reason that should change. 

His head should be clearer this time, even, because if he remembered right last time he had been distracted thinking of how he had to keep pushing back against Eurylochus’s doubts, when this time there was no such conversation. 

This time things would be different. Odysseus was going into this with a plan, and more importantly he was going into this with an understanding of how Aeolus worked, what they were like. He couldn’t play their game so carelessly, but he also couldn’t just deny a god, if they wanted to play he didn’t have much of a choice. But even though it had been so long, even though the details had long since faded, Odysseus remembered that they had been interested in his feathers. 

Even though he wasn’t molting it still wasn’t as if he could leave stray feathers laying around when anyone could stumble upon them. The gold-stained feathers on his biggest wings were off limits- those he burnt to keep them hidden. But any others, he had been gathering up into a satchel he had looped to his belt. Even if he had hoped they wouldn’t have to face this storm, he had prepared for this. After all, even though luck was one of Hermes’s domains, that was one of the things Odysseus hadn’t seemed to inherit from him. Surviving was one thing, but after everything he had been through he certainly wasn’t lucky . 

The higher he climbed the more his wings stirred. The wind whipped around him, and he could feel them trying to open up to catch an updraft. Instinct didn’t know his wings were broken, it just knew he was high up and there was wind to fly on. 

He finally made it to the top, pulling himself up onto the island. He took a second to rest there, laying on his back to catch his breath. 

The wind had a chill to it, but the pressure that came with the attention of a god wasn’t there yet. They hadn’t noticed him yet. Or- if they had they were waiting for him to come to them. That felt a little more likely. 

After a moment of rest he stood back up, making his way to the island’s central palace. He was greeted by the fluffy blue-eyed lotus eaters that lived with Aeolus. He had to start lightly pushing them away as they all floated right up to him, greeting him. He made his way past them and into the circular room of the palace, walls adorned in billowing fabrics. 

“Great wind god Aeolus.” He spoke, a soft reverence in his voice. He felt the instant pressure that came with the attention of a god. “My men and I have anchored ourselves to your island temporarily. We mean no ill will, but our path home has been blocked by this storm.” He bowed his head, as there was movement around, the presence drawing nearer. 

The wings under his pileus bristled, but he didn’t remove it. Not yet. 

“I climbed up here to humbly request aid from you.” He said, fighting the urge to glance up as he saw motion in the edges of his vision. “Without your favor, I fear the winds and waves shall both be against us and we’ll never make it home. Would you please help us?”

He finally looked up at the god’s laugh, watching them scoop up the lotus eaters into her arms, then toss them and let them catch themselves on cloud shaped ledges above them, chirping happily.

Aeolus locked eyes with him as he watched them play, and they finally spoke. “You’re a little sweet-talker, aren’t you?” They moved to hover in front of him, ‘laying’ on their stomach and kicking their feet. 

“I take after my great grandfather.” He said before he could think to stop himself. 

“Hm. I am Aeolus, the wind that twists and turns.” They flipped onto their back and stared at him upside down for a moment. “I am what feeds the fires of your homes and stirs your hair when you run.” They were on their side now, one hand propping their head up. “You say you need help? Alright. If you play a game.”

Odysseus hesitated, taking a moment to put together the words for his response. “I actually have a different offer, Lord Aeolus.” He held up the satchel that his feathers were stored in. “But I can’t tell you what it is unless you can guarantee there are no other gods eyes on us right now.”

Aeolus raised an eyebrow, sitting up with their legs crossed and their hands in their lap. They leaned forward to look closer at the satchel but Odysseus pulled it away somewhat. They pouted at that, but then they were moving so fast it was like they disappeared. A part of Odysseus was reminded a bit too much of Hermes, but he tried to ignore that, especially when Aeolus was back pretty fast anyways. 

“No one’s watching anymore, I showed him away.” Aeolus’s face was right in front of Odysseus’s, their curiosity intense enough that he didn’t have time to question that.

Odysseus moved back slightly, before taking his pileus off and letting his wings fluff out. He straightened the feathers out with his free hand. 

Aeolus’s eyes widened, and they leaned forward to rest on their stomach again, face resting on both their hands, knuckles pressed against their cheeks as they leaned in to get a closer look. “Awwww! Look at your little wings! Oh, I didn’t know mortals could grow things like that! Oh… can I offer you safe travel in exchange for some feathers?”

Odysseus gave them a smile. “I thought you might say something like that, especially after seeing how well decorated your palace is. I wouldn’t presume to tell you how to decorate, of course not, but my wife and I have strung up some of my feathers as decoration before. I have also used them to make arrows, though I am unsure if that would be something that would interest you?”

“Oh, you wouldn’t mind?” Aeolus grinned, kicking their feet. In response Odysseus finally handed them the satchel he carried. It had a handful of feathers in it- most the brown with red tips from the backs of his head wings, shed due to rubbing up against his pileus so much, but a few white feathers from the sets on his ankles were in there. 

Aeolus had a contemplative look on their face for just a moment as they looked over the feathers, before just grinning at Odysseus and sitting up again, setting the feathers aside and conjuring an all-too-familiar bag into their hands. Odysseus froze, his wings flaring out. That just drew a giggle from Aeolus. “Wow, they’re so much more expressive than his! Cute. What has you so riled up little feathers?”

Odysseus shook his head quickly. “Nothing. Apologies, I didn’t mean to react like that, you just took me by surprise. What do you mean mine are more expressive..?”

“Oh, I know a god with wings like yours. More sets than just his head though. He never lets them show what he’s feeling if he doesn’t want them to though, so I’ve never seen wings puff out like that.”

Odysseus nodded at that. “I see… I, uh, actually have more than just the ones on my head. I keep the others hidden too, though.” He didn’t know why he was telling Aeolus this. Or, no, that wasn’t true. He knew exactly why he was telling Aeolus this. He was trying to put off anything that had anything to do with the wind bag. 

Aeolus tilted their head. “Why do you hide them? They’re cute! Besides, wouldn’t this make you interesting to all the other mortals?”

Odysseus sighed. “Well, I know it’s not true now, but my family was convinced that they were a curse. They didn’t know my grandfather was the son of a god.” Odysseus didn’t know Aeolus’s eyes could get wider than they had been, but the proof was right in front of him.  

“Really? Oh, who? Can you say?” They leaned so far forward that they lost control, pitching forward into a front flip that took a second to recover from. They popped up, going back to sitting cross-legged. 

Odysseus hesitated. He hadn’t really told anyone. He hadn’t even really told anyone why he hadn’t told anyone. But… he sighed, running a hand through his hair. “He tends to stay away from mortal kin, so he doesn’t know. He didn’t keep track of his son’s lineage. That… would likely change if he knew about the wings, but even though I know they’re not a curse now I don’t want to just use my connection to a god for notoriety and especially not just to get his attention.” 

Aeolus giggled at that. “Ohhh does that mean you won’t tell? But I already have a guess and everything! And it makes even more sense the more you say! He was just talking about how a mortal had prayed to him really weirdly recently!”

Odysseus’s eyes went wide, and his wings puffed out in a moment of panic that only caused Aeolus to giggle enough to topple themself into a forward spin. 

It took a moment for Odysseus to calm down. It took about as long for Aeolus to stop spinning, though there was still faint laughter on their lips even as they spoke again. “Oh don’t worry little feathers. I won’t tell. Giving messages to other gods isn’t my job, now is it?”

Odysseus’s wings pinned back against the sides of his head nervously. “… thank you.”

Aeolus nodded. “Now. About your little storm problem.” They held up the bag, and Odysseus did his absolute best not to react as the sounds of the storm outside grew to a peak as it all rushed in, a deluge of noise, before it was scooped up into the bag and went silent, went still. 

Aeolus hummed softly as they handed the bag to Odysseus, not noticing the way his hands shook, or maybe just not caring. 

“You have to be the one to keep this- rules of divine intervention or whatever.” They waved a hand dismissively. “But you just have to keep it closed. I won’t even let my winions start any rumors about it or anything!” They giggled.

“Now off you go little feathers! Hurry on home, before the Lord of the Tides notices his storm has subsided!” They winked at the surprised noise Odysseus made. “Yes, I know the storm was no normal occurrence. But you’re a cute one, and like you said you got your charm from your great grandfather. Better try to use some speed of his too, yeah?”

Odysseus bowed low, clutching the wind bag. “Thank you, Aeolus.” When he rose Aeolus was in his face again, but it was just to put his pileus on, tucking his wings neatly out of sight. As he turned to leave he was lifted up and cradled by the wind, carried all the way back down to safety. 

Chapter Text

If Odysseus could he would march down to the underworld that very moment and drop the wind bag into the depths of one of its rivers- preferably the Lethe, so maybe the universe could forget there ever was a storm, or a bag holding its winds, and they could all be rid of this for good. 

But the gods aren’t that kind. So Odysseus had to sit in his room, staring at the bag as if maybe, possibly, his glare could turn into a beam of fire that could get rid of the damned thing. But of course that also would probably release the storm, so it stayed in his imagination. 

Most of his men hadn’t seen the bag, or at least, if they had they didn’t mention it... Maybe they thought it was the same as the satchel he had carried up there? If they thought it was something of note they would have started questioning him like last time. 

There was a knock on his door. He sighed, and gently set the wind bag to the side as he stood. He couldn’t let it appear too important, that would just draw the wrong attention. 

He opened the door, and Polites was standing there. Odysseus let himself relax a bit at that. 

“Polites.” His expression softened as Polites came into the room, closing the door behind him. “How are things holding up out there? I know I disappeared on all of you once I got back, but…”

Polites tilted his head, watching Odysseus for a moment. “You don’t seem as stressed as you would if something went wrong. But you’re hiding away.” Polites leaned against the wall. “What happened?”

Odysseus hesitated. Polites had been gone by this point last time, so he didn’t know how he’d react to the bag. Polites was reliable, a dear friend. But friends could turn to foes in an instant. It would probably be safer for no one to know. 

“Speaking with a god is… a bit stressful is all.” He forced a beaming smile. “Aeolus is good company, don’t get me wrong! They were mostly curious, I showed them” he gestured to his pileus “and gave them a gift. That’s actually why I hadn’t asked for your aid in disposing of shed strays, I knew Aeolus would want some if we came across their island so I had been gathering them up.”

Polites tilted his head. “I see…” he was frowning, his brow was furrowed. 

Odysseus reached out and took one of Polites’s scarred hands into his own. “I was nervous, yes. And there are more threats that could lie ahead of us. I have done all I can think to do to get us home safely, but there’s a chance I could be wrong.” He kept his voice steady. Friendly. “I’m sorry if I’ve been keeping to myself. I am just worried that I might be missing something, and I’ve been trying to go over everything I know. That’s all.”

Odysseus didn’t let his expression shift even when the gentle way Polites lightly rubbed a thumb over his knuckles made his chest tighten. 

Polites’s expression softened, seemingly appeased. “Alright. Eurylochus seems to be doing a little better, have you spoken to him?”

Odysseus nodded. “I… actually I told him about… you know.” 

Polites blinked, using his spare hand to gesture to Odysseus’s hidden wings with a raised eyebrow. 

“Yeah. It… he’s my second in command, and my friend.” Odysseus ignored the sour taste of the almost-lie on his tongue. “Besides, it was dark but you had uncovered them, and I didn’t realize until he was already asking if he could come along when I said I was getting fresh air.”

Polites chuckled. “Let me guess, you thought going back to cover them up when you had already said you were going out would be too suspicious?”

“It would be!” Odysseus huffed. “That would be a strange thing to do!”

“Right, of course. And you never do strange things other than that.”

Odysseus pulled his hand away so he could cross his arms, even turning his head away slightly to fully illustrate his indignance. 

Polites doubled over in laughter. “ Stop !” He wheezed out. “Don’t act like I’m wrong!”

Odysseus couldn’t help the genuine smile that had started to tug at his cheeks. “I'm not acting. I am simply correct. You’re wrong.” He waited for Polites to stop laughing for a moment, before smirking. “I’ve never done a strange thing in my life. Everything I do makes perfect sense.”

Polites had managed to calm his laughing fit, but that almost made him break again. “ Ody .” He took a breath. “You- sure. Everything you do is perfectly logical.” Polites barely managed to say that with a straight face before shaking his head quickly. “No, I can’t do that. I can’t in good conscience say that.”

“ Hey!” Odysseus huffed. After a moment he took his pileus off just for the sake of letting his feathers puff out as extra illustration to his ‘annoyance’. All that did was draw out a soft smile from Polites, though, rather than the intended effect. 

“How are your wings doing, by the way?” Polites asked. “I know there’s not much I could do, but…”

“The ones on my side are too damaged. I’ll have to cut them off, when it’s safe to.” He sighed. “I know it’s something I’m used to,” at least the him of this time should be, “but I…”

It had been a decade since he had last done so, back when he first met Hermes, and was told that he didn’t have to cut them off anymore- that he shouldn’t cut them off. He wasn’t sure if he’d be able to handle doing it on his own. And… after a whole life grounded he had really started taking to the sky lately, only to end up back when his wings were broken and his body wasn’t built to fly? He would cut them off, to allow them to grow back healthy, but at the same time he dreaded the thought. 

“You know they aren’t a curse now, so it’s different.” Polites’s voice cut through his thoughts. “Or something like that?”

Odysseus nodded. “Something like that. It’s different now. I… hopefully it will be the last time. I learned some stretches to strengthen them, but…” Odysseus sighed. “The sooner we get home and can rest, the better.”

Polites hummed at that. “I’ll be glad to see all of you able to find some peace.”

“I hope you’re ready to introduce yourself to Telemachus. After all, he was too young to remember meeting you and Eurylochus before we left.” Odysseus couldn’t help just how much softness crept into his voice at the mention of Telemachus. 

“How much do you know about him?” Polites asked. “At least, if you can say?”

Odysseus sighed. “Not much. I… I only know the man he could grow up to be, but that young man faced a lot more tragedy… than I hope for him. He will not have to live in the shadow of a man thought to be dead.”

“Ah.” There was something in Polites’s voice. Some… melancholy, even in just a small sound. Odysseus didn’t have time to linger on it as Polites spoke again, but the understanding there wormed it’s way into his head. “Of course he won’t. His father will be home safe soon.” 

“And his uncle Polites.” Odysseus said, tone purposefully light.

“And- huh?!” Polites startled, eyes and smile both wide as they faded back into playful banter. 

“You heard what I said!”

Chapter Text

Nine days. 

Nine days had passed, with no trouble. 

The crew was in high spirits, the food had been lasting well, and no one even seemed to have noticed the wind bag. 

That was a good thing. Of course it was. But every passing moment it felt more wrong. 

At first Odysseus had tried to sleep. He even got an hour of rest here and there. But after a few days he couldn’t bring himself to let his guard down. He could sleep when they got home. He could sleep in Penelope’s arms. 

They were close. Soul-achingly close. Within the last day land had crested over the horizon and home was in sight. They were almost there. 

The sea went uncannily still, and as Odysseus was fighting off exhaustion it was instinct rather than rational thought that had him calling out for his crew to brace themselves. 

Everything exploded around them, water suddenly consuming everything. A figure clawed its way out of the sea and Odysseus was frozen, not even able to care that his eyes stung with salt and brine. 

The sleeplessness that had just been weighing him down was gone, fully replaced by terror that had his blood pumping, his heart racing. His wings bristled and he didn’t even feel the discomfort from how they were trapped, just a numb unease, and the need to fly away. The pressure around him was what weighed him down, pinned him in place, now. The aura of the divine was all around, so thick that it made his skin buzz. 

The Lord of the Tides loomed over them, narrowed eyes scanning the ships in front of him. His grin was sharp, the shark had hunted down its prey, now it just had to find the best way to finish the job. 

“You know, I’ve been gracious to you and your fleet.” The Earthshaker’s voice was low, raspy. “But you went and hurt my son. I have no choice but to honor his last words.”

His cold eyes locked on to Odysseus, and his smile somehow grew wider when he saw him flinch. “You knew this would happen, didn’t you, little captain? ”

The hulls of the ships around were creaking and groaning as the god used his clawed hands to oh-so-casually disturb the water, kicking up waves that threatened to capsize. Several of the men were already on their knees begging- praying- for mercy. Odysseus knew better, he knew what would come if he didn’t do something, if he didn’t say something. 

“I heard your prayers, received your offerings. You never said what you had done, but did you really expect a god not to notice how desperate you were to pay penance? Did you think I wouldn’t realize who had done it when the culprits started crying out for my attention?” He laughed at that, and Odysseus’s legs almost gave out beneath him. 

“His final request was for me to punish you, the captain, most of all.” The Earthshaker leaned down, his face close enough that Odysseus could feel the chill of the ocean radiating off his skin. “So I have one lesson to teach you. One I expect you to carry well past your final destination in the underworld.” He moved back again, the motion shaking the ship and causing Odysseus to lose his footing and fall to his knees. 

A twisting spire of water grew out of the waves, turning into a three pronged weapon everyone recognized- one Odysseus was all too familiar with . Once the metal of that trident dug into hands that had been torn apart by rocks, as it was plunged into the chest of a god who’s blood even still stained Odysseus. 

But Odysseus didn’t have Hermes with him this time. He didn’t have the souls of everyone he had lost striking against the sea god first. It was just him, just one man, fighting to get back to his feet on the deck of a ship, the Ocean Himself against him. 

“Ruthlessness!” Poseidon spat, raising his weapon into the air. He glanced between the men praying, begging, before he continued. “It is a mercy upon ourselves.”

He brought the butt of the trident down upon the seabed below, ensuring that the rumbling was heard and felt by every one of the ships in the fleet. Water cascaded up and over the sides, soaking everyone. In the back of Odysseus’s mind all he could think of was how annoyed Hermes would be at the prospect of getting salt out of his feathers. 

Odysseus caught himself on his hands when he lost his footing again, but this time someone else was helping him up. Steady hands stilled the shaking of his own. 

“What can we do?” Eurylochus asked. Though his voice was hushed it was the first Odysseus had heard since the god of tides started speaking, and it was a welcome change. 

Odysseus took a breath, forcing himself to ignore the increase of pressure. The sea god… knew he was the captain, and wouldn’t let him get away- if he ran to his room the odds of being deemed a coward and causing instant death were far too high. But Eurylochus was there. Seemingly ready to follow Odysseus’s lead. 

“ The canvas bag in my room .” Odysseus choked out, letting go of Eurylochus’s hands to stand on his own, turning back towards the Earthshaker. 

Poseidon was watching Odysseus, eyes narrowing when Eurylochus rushed off. He slowly raised the trident to be level with Odysseus, the tip of it within arms reach of the ship Odysseus stood on. 

“You. You at least gave him an honorable end, so I won’t drag things out any longer than necessary. You can watch as I drown each of your ships, ending with your own.”

Poseidon raised his trident once more, and brought it down, sending a wave that cleaved a ship in two. 

A desperate plea tore its way from Odysseus’s throat, wings straining against their bindings. 

Poseidon seemed almost disappointed at that. “Come now. Face your death with honor, at least.” He shook his head, before sending a wave out to rend another ship. 

Odysseus could hardly think, but when he heard Eurylochus’s footsteps in one quick motion he tore the cloth wrapping his side wings up off of himself. “Eurylochus open the bag!” He called out. 

“ What?! ” Poseidon shouted, even as a storm roared to life, wind swirling around them. 

“Everyone hold on! ” Odysseus yelled, motioning for the message to be passed to the other ships.

Odysseus fought against his clothes for a moment before grabbing a fistfull of  gold-stained feathers and holding them up in the air. “Aeolus I offer these to you, hear my plea! Carry us to Aeaea!” He let go and let the wind catch the feathers. 

“ No! ” Poseidon slammed his trident into another ship, then another, metal shredding them apart rather than water like the first two. 

But Aeolus appeared, holding the ichor stained feathers and spinning one in between their thumb and pointer finger. “These are quite interesting, little feathers. I’ll heed your request.” They grinned and flipped away from Odysseus’s side to sweep up all the remaining ships, speeding them away from Poseidon’s grip.

Odysseus nearly collapsed. 

They had been so close. Again . But it had been torn away from them. No matter what he did. Did getting away from the cyclops with no casualties, even killing it, mean nothing? Did doing everything right mean nothing? He was supposed to get them all home this time. But now he didn’t even know how many had died, there was no time to take stock of the crew when running from a god. He was supposed to get all 600 men home safe this time because if he didn’t then why else was he trapped living this torment again?

Was it all for nothing?

Chapter Text

At some point, the wind blowing them along had lost that heavy pressure, and was just wind. 

At some point, the wind bag had ended up closed tight in Odysseus’s hands, still half full. 

At some point, the deck of the ship had people moving around on it once more, as if something was normal. 

At some point, a hand was on his arm and he was led to his quarters to clear his head. 

He couldn’t stay there long though. The crew needed their captain. 

He made sure his clothes hid his wings as well as they could, ignoring how much they ached. 

Once he was sure no one would see them he went back out. 

Tasks needed delegation, plans needed to be made. There was an island ahead of them, and the crew needed to be warned by their captain not to just rush ahead. 

Circe was protective of her nymphs, and a whole fleet would be much more of a threat than one ship in disrepair with 43 men on it. 

So they made land at the beach, but didn’t disembark. Instead they focused on taking stock of all they had. Resources were redistributed, losses were finally counted. 

Eight ships remained. 200 men had been lost to the sea. 

Many of the crew were in shock. Why wouldn’t they be? 600 of them had gone to war, learned to trust each other and work as a unit so that all of them made it to the other side. Those were their friends, their brothers. They were sons, husbands, fathers. Gone. 

It would be different if they had fallen in battle. It would have still hurt, but those were the risks of fighting. But this? All of them gone in an instant, to the hands of a god? When they had been so close to home? They needed a chance to breathe, and their captain understood that, even if he couldn’t have them rushing to take whatever they wanted from the witch’s palace. 

So he pulled his second in command aside. He didn’t plan for their friend to follow too, but it wasn’t a problem, so he didn’t stop him. 

“I need you to help me keep them all in line. There is a palace, and its queen won’t  like us being here.” 

“Then what should we do?” The second in command asked. “I could put together a scouting party, we could try and greet the queen.”

The captain shook his head. “It isn’t safe. I don’t want to lose track of anyone. Besides I think there’s a spell on the forest, I don’t remember for sure…” he frowned. A lot had happened last time, and it was starting to get hard to keep track. 

“When was the last time you had a chance to rest?” 

The second in command sighed, glancing over to their ever so insightful friend who had asked that question. “Polites is right. You seem… tired, sir. Are you sure you don’t need to take a moment? I’ll make sure everyone knows not to just go wandering this island.”

After a moment he nodded. The captain allowed his friend to pull him down to sit in the sand. “Get ready for repairs but don’t start using any resources up yet. We want to be in her good graces.”

The second in command nodded and went off to convene with their men. The captain and his friend remained, sitting side by side in the sand. 

“It smells like there may be fruit here.” His friend broke the silence. “That’s good, at least. Food to be found, supplies to repair the ships, so long as this queen you mentioned allowed it?”

He nodded. “We won’t be able to meet her until someone else gets here. I’m waiting for him.”

His friend hummed at that. “Someone else… divine aid?”

The captain couldn’t help the dry laugh that escaped him at that. “You could say that. Long story. Mortals can’t acquire moly without consequence. But it negates her power.”

“I see… Hey, Odysseus…” his friend looked… upset. Or… worried? Or something like that. It was hard to tell. “You… you should rest. Just for a few moments?”

The day was marching into afternoon. But his friend had a point- they all needed rest. So he nodded. 

That brought a soft smile back to his friend’s face. 

So he laid down, closing his eyes. He wasn’t able to sleep, no- everything ached, and being still just made the pins and needles stinging every part of him-especially his wings- all the worse. 

It was as if his mind was full of fog, or buried under quicksand. He was drowning, floating, sinking, with no tether. The outside world was a distant impression his mind had no opinions on. 

He still was somewhat aware of what was happening around, but it was as if it was past layers of thick curtains, fully separate from him. So he paid no mind, at first,  when footsteps approached, or when a heated discussion began hushed but was too close for him to not hear it. 

“Are you serious Eurylochus? He told you-“

“ I know ! But they insisted. Said that we needed to make sure the island really was secure. Plus, they’re worried about running out of food, so they-“

A groan. “… okay. I understand that. But Odysseus specifically said it wasn’t safe. What happened?”

“We found the palace he spoke of, deep inside the island’s heart. We heard a voice from inside, it seemed to bear no malice and the others assumed it would be safe, but… there was this suffocating power to it, none of the others seemed to notice.”

Odysseus was pulled sharply back into focus, snapping fully awake and sitting up quickly. 

Eurylochus and Polites were a few paces away. Eurylochus didn’t meet his gaze, as Polites looked between the both of them. The air grew heavy

Odysseus took a breath, his feathers bristling. “How many did you take?”

“Five men other than myself. They insisted that we ensure the island was secure, and-“

“I heard a bit.” Odysseus didn’t have it in him to truly be angry, not at the moment. “We can talk about it later. For now I need to go after them.”

“No you don’t!” Eurylochus finally looked him in the eyes, fear evident in his expression. “You don’t even know what awaits-“

“Yes he does.” Polites interrupted. “He knows exactly what’s in there.”

Odysseus hesitated at Polites’s words, then nodded. “Circe is a powerful foe, and she turns any unfamiliar men into pigs to protect her nymphs.” Odysseus stood, ignoring the way his legs tried to give out under him. “But I have to get our men back.”

“Ody, stop!” Eurylochus grabbed him by the arm, before pulling back as if he’d been burned. Odysseus didn’t know what to make of that, or the strained expression that flashed on his face for just a moment before returning to worry and fear. “Look at us. We just lost so much of our fleet, but that cost is nowhere near worth what little we’ve earned along the way.”

“We just lost two hundred men. I’m not losing another five, Eurylochus you can’t expect me to-“

“That’s not what I’m saying! Look at us, look at you , Odysseus! You’re bearing the weight of the loss more than any of us, and yet you want to take this on as well? Let the rest of us handle it, we know what to expect more now.”

Odysseus stilled at that, for a moment. That… wasn’t what he expected. But still. He shook his head. “It has to be me. Do you trust me, Eurylochus?”

“Of course.” The response was instant. 

Odysseus offered a weak, but genuine, smile at that. “Then trust that I will get them out of there. Not as your captain, but as your friend, as your brother.”

Eurylochus hesitated. “You really won’t take anyone with you? Not even either of us?” He motioned between himself and Polites. 

“I’m sorry, but no. I have a plan, but more than that I won’t put either of you in danger like that.” He knew that wasn’t the answer they wanted to hear- and even if he hadn’t known the look Eurylochus and Polites gave each other would have told him as much- but they let him go after that. 

His wings bristled under his clothes, and the air was thick with a divine pressure.

Chapter Text

The forest loomed around Odysseus, thick and imposing as it had been before. The undergrowth only seemed to get thicker the deeper in he went. And a familiar pressure, a familiar presence, was thick in the air. 

Odysseus was in no state for a reunion. He was exhausted, his body heavy with aches. The wings on his sides were broken beyond repair- and oh that would be something he had to explain, right? That…

There was a tight pain in his chest at that thought. That something that was just a given- the fact that he had wings, that he was Hermes’s kin- was something that warranted an explanation , was something the god didn’t know . 

There was familiar laughter. First a distant echo, then a giggle slipping through the branches like wind. 

“You’ve been watching since I spoke with my friends.” He spoke before the god could. 

Silence, for a moment, then a laugh. “Quite a keen one, aren’t you?” The voice was behind him, but he didn’t turn to look. 

“Mm. I’m used to the presence of gods, Bright-eyed Athena was my mentor for some time.”

There was a noise. From above him and to the left. He glanced up, but the god had moved again, shaking the branches where he had been. “Well, I must say that was a brilliant speech you gave them.” Hermes slipped into a sing-song tone. 

Odysseus tensed slightly. “… I knew it would be safer for everyone if I tried to face Circe myself. One man is much less threat than 400. Why?”

“Well~” Hermes laughed. “I’m just a friend, one who could help you save your men.” He was clearly trying to be reassuring- which to be fair, most mortals wouldn’t be taking this in such stride, so that was fair. Still, Hermes was definitely circling above  Odysseus’s head and tracking his voice was making him dizzy. “You know, a foe like Circe is not to be messed with. If you want to beat her…”

A hand shot out of the canopy and Odysseus was flinching away before he even fully registered that it was just grabbing for his pileus. 

“You’ll need the blessing of a certain god.” He continued, hand vanishing into the foliage once more, as if nothing had happened. “Divine intervention you could say. Someone who’s not afraid to…”

He felt a tap on his shoulder, and he spun around. It took everything in him not to lunge at the god before him- hovering off the ground, grinning, eyes hidden, the very image of mischief. 

“ .. Send a message~ ”

Too many thoughts were racing through his mind. He was trying to react like a normal mortal would to having a god in front of them, but he really couldn’t muster up the energy for that. All he could manage was ‘don’t tackle a god that doesn’t know you because you missed him.’

His wings were straining against the fabric holding them down. All of a sudden his pileus was far too tight, far too rough. All of a sudden the wraps around his ankles were heavy weights that needed to be shed. All of a sudden the wings on his sides needed to flutter so he could feel just how broken they were. 

Hermes laughed- likely interpreting Odysseus’s reaction as surprise at being face to face with him. He moved forward quickly, reaching out to scoop Odysseus up. 

“Wait-“ Odysseus tried to pull away, on instinct more than anything else, but he was tired and Hermes was known for being quick. The god grabbed Odysseus’s waist, and he cried out, pain shooting through his wings as they lashed out. 

That surprised Hermes into letting go, moving back a bit. He held his hands up by his head as if to indicate he meant no harm. The wings behind his ears were puffed up in surprise, and his expression had shifted into one of a startled concern. 

“What… was that?” Hermes asked slowly, leaning forward to hover at eye level despite his eyes being hidden. 

Odysseus had to take a moment to compose himself, or else his answer would have been a pained whine. But eventually, he managed to find his words. “It’s… please let me explain, Hermes.”

He knew Hermes wouldn’t react badly. Or, at least not to the fact that he had wings. The state of them was a different matter entirely. But he couldn’t even begin to explain, because being grabbed had managed to remind his body that he had broken limbs to pay attention to, and all the pain he had been ignoring came roaring back in. 

“Are you injured?” Hermes tilted his head, curiosity joining his concern. “This isn’t going to be anywhere near as fun if you’re already injured.”

Odysseus forced himself to take a breath. Another. “… yes. But the injury needs a bit of an explanation.”

Hermes frowned. It was clear he was starting to get impatient. After all, it wasn’t like he knew Odysseus.

Odysseus only hesitated a moment, before reaching up and removing his pileus. The wings behind his ears flared out, flapping twice in relief to not be pinned anymore. 

Hermes just stared for a moment, feathers puffing out in shock. 

“The wings on my sides are broken, and you just grabbed them.” Odysseus was oddly calm considering the circumstances. Focusing on staying standing was probably taking up most of his attention to be honest. “If you saw them you’d probably scream.”

Hermes hovered slightly closer. “By my family’s names… how do you… the ones on your sides… how many sets-“

“The same as you.” Odysseus didn’t really have it in him to elaborate. Last time there was a lot more screaming, if he remembered correctly through the haze of exhaustion. A lot more panic. 

Odysseus was a lot better at reading Hermes than he had been when they first met, but that ever-present shadow over his eyes still obscured a lot, and Hermes was treating Odysseus as a stranger, so he wasn’t exactly an open book when it came to emoting. So Odysseus couldn’t be sure what he was thinking about any of this. Even still, he heard the shift in Hermes’s voice when he spoke. 

“Alright… alright darling, let’s see these wings of yours then, see what I can do.” He conjured a small dagger into one hand and reached for Odysseus’s clothes with the other. “I’m not much of a healer, but I might be able to help.”

“You’re not going to like what you see.” Odysseus warned, but he didn’t flinch away as Hermes went to cut slits in the sides of his clothes. 

“Nonsense darling, I’m sure I’ve seen worse.“ Hermes waved a hand dismissively before making two swift cuts, allowing Odysseus’s wings to burst out, flapping weakly even as the motion drew a pained gasp from Odysseus- joined in an instant by the horrified gasp Hermes let out. 

The dagger hit the ground with a thump and Hermes threw himself backwards, hands not quite covering his mouth in horror, but close to it. 

Odysseus understood why. His wings were visibly broken, bent in ways they shouldn’t be. Feathers were missing or broke off. Not to mention the gold splatter staining them, which would be a whole other thing to explain. Still, the sudden freedom allowed his wings to move, and every movement turned his thoughts to sand. He was in no condition to offer any explanation to the horrified god in front of him, so all he could do was force his wings to close so less of the damage was visible, even if the motion caused tears to well up in his eyes. 

The motion, though, drew a choked noise from Hermes, who was right up in front of him again. “No no no, hey, you should not be moving them right now, what are you- hey, hey, look at me, I need you to tell me what happened so I can fix this!” 

Hermes’s hand was cupping Odysseus’s face, trying to get his attention. Even with Hermes’s eyes hidden in shadow there was clear panic in his expression. Odysseus’s composure crumpled, and he let himself almost collapse forward towards Hermes, who let out a surprised yelp even as he caught him. 

“Ah- okay- okay! Okay, let’s find something soft for you to lay down on, okay?” Hermes said, scooping Odysseus up. 

Hermes held Odysseus close against his chest, making sure to support his lower back- Odysseus’s wings still fluttered every few moments, pain making them uncontrollable, so the support was helpful. Odysseus ignored the voice in the back of his mind that chided him for doing such a bad job at pretending Hermes was a stranger. What mortal just collapsed into the arms of a god like a child seeking comfort? But he hadn’t slept in several days, and Hermes was a familiar comfort after so long surrounded by ghosts. 

It wasn’t long before he was set down on a thick pile of moss and flowers Hermes must have conjured up. He couldn’t stop the small whine he let out upon being put down, but at least it seemed Hermes probably thought it was just from pain, based on the worried frown on his face. 

“Alright, well… you probably shouldn’t move around too much friend, you could damage them further. I’d have you just lay on your stomach but at this point I don’t think that would even help. Titans , they shouldn’t bend like that- and all the dead feathers? How are they even still able to move?”

“For the longest time we believed them to be a curse.” Odysseus couldn’t help the bitterness in his voice. “I should unwrap the ones on my ankles.”

“Shh.” Hermes pressed a finger to Odysseus’s lips for a moment before deftly removing his sandals and the wrapping around his ankle wings. He frowned at the sight of them. “They’re not as bad but there are still several breaks… I’m not sure what I’m going to do, especially with the ones on your sides- those ones are so broken, I’m not sure-“

“I already know they’re unsalvageable.” Odysseus interrupted. “You… aren’t going to like what you’ll need to do, but…” he sighed. “If it helps any I’ve known this would need to happen since the cyclops grabbed me, I knew that they were… beyond repair. I just…”

“What do I need to do?” 

“They need to be cut off- they’ll regrow. That’s what my family made me do since I was a boy, they regrow within half a year.”

Hermes gagged at that, feathers bristling. “ You cut them off? ” He choked out, as if he was struggling to breathe. 

“…yes. They’d rather a child suffer out of fear of the gods than…” Odysseus trailed off, bitterness lingering on his tongue. 

Hermes took a moment to catch his breath, before patting himself on the cheeks, composing himself. “Right. Right! Okay. This is fine!” He summoned a larger blade. Longer, with a curve to it. “ This is all going to be fine. I’m going to put you to sleep and get these off and then we’ll talk more when you wake up!” His expression softened for a moment when he looked at Odysseus, and his voice followed suit, shifting from a bit manic to soft reassurance. “You won’t feel a thing, I promise.”

Odysseus relaxed slightly at that, allowing Hermes to tap him between the eyes with one finger. His eyes slipped shut, his heartbeat slowed. He slipped off into the darkness easily for the first time since he had awoken on the ship.

Chapter Text

Odysseus woke with a start, bolting upright, wings thrashing. He had to get away, had to get in the air, he couldn’t just watch as-

“Hermes!”

But there was no storm, no ocean. He was in a forest clearing. The air was fresh, tropical, thick with magic. There was a divine presence but it was comfortably familiar. 

“What is it, what’s wrong?” Hermes was at his side, worry evident. 

It was dark, but Hermes had clearly kept the clearing they were in lit up. Hermes set something aside quickly before continuing to focus on him. 

Odysseus took a breath. In, and out. His wings trembled slightly. “ Where… ” no, he knew where they were. Why they were on Circe’s island was the more pertinent question, wasn’t it? Though… with the fresh pain on his sides and ankles… was he still dreaming? Or… no that didn’t seem right either…

“You’re resting.” Hermes said. “You’re not going to face Circe until it’s morning, okay?”

Oh. Right. He had to do it all again. 

Odysseus quickly forced himself to wear a neutral expression, though his wings wouldn’t still despite his best efforts. 

Hermes frowned at that, and for a moment Odysseus remembered his façade was nothing to the god of lies, but Hermes just shook his head. “Don’t try to force them still, the nerves are still forming. They’re going to be a bit erratic for a little while. And… speaking of, we need to talk about them.”

Odysseus was once again hit full force with the weight of the fact that Hermes didn’t know . That Hermes didn’t know they were related, didn’t know his wings were stunted or how he flew differently because of it. 

“…right.” He nodded. “I… suppose it is important for you to know. My mother was Anticlea, daughter of Autolycus. Who was…”

Hermes leaned forwards, the previous concern and curiosity fully replaced with an excited recognition. “My son! Then that means you’re my great-grandson! Oh, I was so confused at first- sure I’ve had a few drunken nights, and that was what I was starting to assume, but… oh you have my wings! I never thought I’d see the day, my son certainly never grew any- did your mother?”

Odysseus couldn’t help the soft smile that tugged at his mouth at the god’s energy and enthusiasm. If he ignored the words and focused on the tone, he could pretend he was back home, things were back to normal, for a moment. “She didn’t. I am the first, though I have a son, I haven’t seen him in years, but he should be around the age I was when mine grew in.” 

Odysseus wasn’t sure if he would use the same claim of the vision. Lies were Hermes’s domain. So he didn’t claim any certainties- he didn’t say for sure that his son he shouldn’t have seen in over a decade had wings. 

That didn’t stop Hermes from grinning, wings fluttering. “Oh, I have no idea where the red came from, but it suits you so well darling! A pop of color!” The ever present shadow hid his eyes, but Odysseus knew the god had seen the gold too, but he wasn’t asking about it. “You don’t seem very shocked by this. You knew already.”

Odysseus nodded. “For… a very long time, most of my life, I thought it was a curse. My father believed it to be one, and cut my wings off soon after they first came in. That’s why they’re so stunted- it’s been happening since I was ten.” He sighed. “I found out the truth recently, but my wings were too brittle to take proper care of while also hiding them. That’s why they were in that condition.”

A small growl rose from Hermes, for just a moment, as his lips pursed. Of course, he had always hated the pain Odysseus had gone through due to his wings- the wings that were a link to the divine, not a curse. “You aren’t going to do that anymore, right? None of you knew just how much it was hurting you…”

Odysseus sighed, stretching one of his large wings out. Not even the length of his arm. “I know. They were severely stunted. I haven’t flown before.” Well. Not yet. Not in this time. Not…

It was complicated. 

“You might never be able to-“ Hermes cut himself off. “Though! That’s not saying we won’t try! Stretches, exercises to build the muscles, allow them to finally develop- we’ll do what we can, see if we can’t get you hovering at least!”

Odysseus just nodded. He couldn’t exactly say ‘I know exactly how to fly but it’s different from how you do and also I physically can’t at the moment’. There was so much he couldn’t say, and it was wearing at him. 

“Is there any way you could hide my wings?” He asked instead. “My crew doesn’t know, and this isn’t the sort of thing that should be revealed to them while we’re in such a… stressful… situation.” He tried to keep his thoughts away from the sword in his back, from the smell of lightning and the light burning his vision. “They aren’t bad people, but we’ve been away from home for a long time, and conditions like these lead to desperation.” 

“That’s a much better option than cutting them off.” Hermes nodded. “Do you have anything you always wear?”

Odysseus shook his head. Nothing he had was sentimental to him, not really. 

“Hm… okay. I’ll figure something out. For now, I haven’t even managed to give you what I was originally here for!” Hermes started rummaging around in his satchel. 

“Ah, right. The moly to deal with Circe. Hopefully it doesn’t come down to fighting her, I hope to convince her we’re no threat after all, but…” Odysseus trailed off. 

Hermes’s wings had all twitched, ever so minutely. His expression had stayed the same, but something had surprised him for a moment. He had hesitated, for a moment, before pulling out a slightly crumpled plant. The white flower, the glowing blue center, the black roots, were all familiar to Odysseus. 

“Here in the root of this flower is a power that will let you take her on. It will nullify any spells cast on you, and once digested, you’ll gain the power to manifest a being of your own creation to fight hers.” Hermes held the flower out. “Once such an action is performed, though, the power will die down unless you eat more. And even though you have divine blood I’m not sure it would be safe to give you more than one. I’d also suggest eating it all in one go, I’ve heard-“

“The roots taste terrible, but the flower is sweet.” Odysseus nodded. “I’ve heard the same.”

“Hm. I call it Holy Moly .” 

Hermes cackled as Odysseus took the flower from him and ate the whole thing. It was… just as bad as last time, yep. Still, he forced himself to chew it up and swallow it down. 

“Alright. What now? It’s late, I doubt she’d like to accept visitors.”

Hermes frowned. “No. Now you go back to sleep. She is not one to be messed with, especially in your state. Sleep now. In the morning I’ll have new clothes for you to wear, and I’ll take you to her.”

Odysseus hesitated. “… alright, but can you make sure my men know I’m alright? At least my second in command? I don’t want him charging in to find me.”

Hermes hummed. “You’ll have to tell me who I’m looking for darling, I don’t exactly know the rank of any of your crew.”

“Just find either of the men I was speaking to before I met you. Eurylochus or Polites. Tell them I’m alright, that I’m resting before I face Circe.” He didn’t want them running to try to find him, he didn’t want them to leave because they assumed he must be lost. 

Hermes nodded. “I’ll be right back then, darling. Rest. Do you want me to put you to sleep?”

Odysseus shook his head. “I’d rather wait until I know you’re back.” He’d never admit that he needed the safety of knowing Hermes was there to comfortably sleep- not to this Hermes, not yet, at least. 

Even with his eyes hidden the knowing look Hermes was giving him made him realize he wasn’t exactly hiding that fact, though. 

“Alright. Then like I said, I’ll be back soon. Rest, even if you don’t sleep yet.” Hermes ordered- though his tone was light- before flying away in a blur. 

Odysseus was left alone with his thoughts again, and everything crashed into him. 

How in the gods names was he going to keep acting like everything was normal ?

He could barely get through that interaction, and he was just going over the same things he spoke with Hermes about the first time, but this time he didn’t think he would be struck down for existing in the god’s presence. So why was it harder for him to get through things this time? Why was his chest aching, why was his soul heavy?

With anyone else he could simply lie and say he had seen a vision and that’s why he acted as if he knew them. He had been debating doing that with Circe if it weren’t for the fact that Hermes would be watching. 

It wasn’t even just that Hermes was the god of lies. All things considered that was really a lesser one of his domains. It was that Hermes was observant and clever . Odysseus really had inherited some of his best traits. And Odysseus knew that his story didn’t line up- knew that there would be holes to poke in it. And his wings made him an open book that Hermes was uniquely qualified to understand. Especially in the state they were in now, regrowing, because he had less control than he was used to. 

He could be overthinking things, of course. After all, he was used to Hermes being able to catch him in a lie, but he had a decade of experience lying to Hermes and Hermes didn’t have a decade of experience seeing through his lies. But. That would almost be worse. 

Odysseus was fighting off sleep again. He didn’t want to lose track of where he was, he didn’t want to be claimed by a nightmare, not when he was alone. But still, a couple hours of sleep didn’t make up for days without, and Hermes wasn’t as quick as he claimed- probably got caught up in conversation rather than just telling them Odysseus was okay and leaving again. 

Odysseus realized he hadn’t actually introduced himself to Hermes in the midst of trying to act Fine and Normal. He wanted to at least stay awake and give the god his name, but his eyes were too heavy. 

Chapter Text

Odysseus slept heavy, and by the time he woke he didn’t remember whatever nightmares likely kept him company. 

(If a certain god got back and noticed him tossing and turning and quickly ensured the rest of his sleep to be a dreamless one, well then it wasn’t like anyone had to know.)

He still rose with the sun, though. He must have made a noise or something, because even before he could try to sit up Hermes was hovering over him. 

“You are up far too early for how long you went without sleep.” Hermes frowned. 

Odysseus knew what would happen- Hermes was very clingy always, and Odysseus very vividly remembered that that started early- but he tried to sit up anyways. Which, of course, had the god fussing over him in an instant. 

“No! You are not moving right now, you are staying right where you are and if you need anything you will tell me.” 

“Hermes, I-“

“Nope! I will tie you down if I have to!”

“ Hermes! ” Odysseus couldn’t help bursting into laughter. “Are you really that desperate to make up for lost time?”

Hermes’s wings twitched, and after a moment he feigned indignation. “I don’t know what you could mean! Ah-by the way darling,” his expression softened, “I didn’t mean to stay out so long last night, I meant to be back in time to keep watch while you slept, but I got caught up- I came back and you were asleep already. I’m sorry for that.”

Odysseus blinked. “You could have just said yes you know-“

“Hey!” Hermes’s feathers were all fluffed. 

“Can we at least talk, if I’m not allowed to sit up?” Odysseus didn’t try to stop the warm fondness that crept into his voice. It could be dismissed as gladness that he finally knew his kin, after all, right?

Hermes hummed, feathers settling a bit. “As long as you stay right there and rest? Sure darling.”

Hermes flitted away, out of Odysseus’s line of sight, but Odysseus stayed lying down- almost stubbornly trying to prove that he could stay still. 

“I never introduced myself to you, you know. I realized that last night, meant to bring it up when you got back but… well, not sleeping more than an hour at a time for nine days means it’s easy to doze off.”

“You what?! ” Odysseus heard Hermes’s wings flap in surprise at that. “Your friend at the ship said you were in a bad way, but nothing that serious- Darling do you have any idea how lucky you are that I found you, rather than you finding Circe?”

Odysseus shrugged. “I knew you’d show up.” He sighed. “Are you really going to stay out of my sight to make me prove I won’t move? I prefer talking to someone I can see.”

Hermes gave a long drawn-out sigh. “Fiiine fine, quite demanding aren’t we darling?” He was back at Odysseus’s side, though he never stayed in one spot for long, instead going from one side to another, then to a branch above, then back. “How did you know I would show up before you found Circe’s palace, then?”

Odysseus watched the god circle him for a moment. “I felt your presence when I was talking to my friends. Growing up I was mentored by Athena, I’m familiar with how it feels when a god is watching.”

Hermes stilled in his flight path for a moment, just… watching Odysseus. His expression was unreadable even despite Odysseus’s familiarity.

“But- right. I never introduced myself to you, Hermes.” Maybe he was speaking quickly to cut off that inscrutable stare. Maybe he just missed not being a stranger. “I am-“

“I know exactly who you are Odysseus.” Hermes tilted his head in that way he always did when he saw something as a particularly tricky thing to be solved. “Did you really not expect me to take notice of you when you asked for my aid so strangely, so sadly?”

It felt as if a chill was spreading through Odysseus. “I’m unsure what you mean by that.”

“I was there when you faced the cyclops.” Hermes leaned back, gaze still bearing down on Odysseus. “You asked me to watch over you, after all. You said some very interesting things.”

Odysseus sighed. “I… suppose I did. It’s a long story, and one I am not too keen to tell.”

Hermes gestured at where Odysseus laid. “You have time.” There was curiosity in his tone, but anything else lurking there was unreadable. Odysseus just wasn’t used to how closed off Hermes was being. 

“Thank you for bringing us luck as we faced down the cyclops.” He said instead. “I should have realized as much, with how well it went.”

Hermes twisted to ‘lay’ on his stomach in the air, wings lazily flapping to keep him in one spot. “Your prayer was unlike how mortals have spoken to me before. Athena said you received a vision of how to get your crew home safely.”

Odysseus’s eyes widened. “You’ve talked with-“ though, that made sense. They had both aided him when he fought the cyclops, so the fact that they had spoken would make sense. But how much had Athena said? He didn’t even know what exactly she thought about it all, how could he guess what she had told Hermes, how could he know what to say to keep suspicions away? 

If he was going to tell anyone about what had truly happened, it would be Hermes, but he couldn’t. He trusted Hermes, more than anyone other than Penelope, but Hermes didn’t know him, didn’t know just how much Odysseus-

“It isn’t often mortals get away with making deals with Aeolus without playing one of their rigged games.” Hermes said, starting to circle Odysseus, unable to stay still. 

Odysseus blinked. “Oh- you’re the one they sent away when I- Ohhhh.” He hummed, wings twitching. “I gave them some of my shed feathers. I didn’t want a god like the lord of the tides to possibly be watching, considering how poor a state my wings were in at the time, it would just be a weakness he could take advantage of.”

Hermes tilted his head. He was silent, for a time. Just… assessing Odysseus, it seemed. 

Odysseus could only shift, wings fluttering nervously, under the scrutiny. 

Hermes hummed. “We’ll get them strong enough that you don’t see them as a weakness, if nothing else.” He said, instead of addressing any of the rest of that. “Come now, let’s get you up!” 

Hermes was in Odysseus’s face now. Odysseus flinched, and Hermes backed up. “Ah- here darling.” He held a hand out. 

After a moment, Odysseus took it, and let Hermes help him up. He let his wings flare out, flapping slightly. They were so much weaker than he was used to, and they didn’t respond to what he wanted them to do anywhere near as much as they should. Hermes looked them over, before humming and zipping off to grab a bit of food. 

Odysseus was already stretching his wings out by the time Hermes was back at his side. 

“They’re in such horrible shape for someone that so clearly knows what they’re doing.” Hermes stated. “And I must admit I still don’t understand why you didn’t say anything once you found out you were my kin.”

“Oh, that’s easy.” Odysseus said as he ran through the routine that had become muscle memory over the past years of trying to strengthen his wings. “You didn’t want to get involved in the lives of your mortal kin. If you had learned I was claiming to be related to you, you’d have avoided me long before I got the chance to try to talk about my wings.”

Hermes’s face scrunched up, and for a moment even beneath the shadow it was more than apparent that the god was almost mournful. It was gone in an instant though, and with a flick of the wings on his head Hermes had a mischievous grin again. 

“You know, most of your wings are freshly grown and I ensured they grew in cleanly. But the ones behind your ears…”

Odysseus ducked away from Hermes’s hands, eyes wide. “ Already?! ” He couldn’t help but exclaim, as he attempted to dodge out of the way. He didn’t care that much, but it was the principle of it! (he didn’t exactly want to show just how much he had been missing it.)

But Hermes was swift, and Odysseus was mortal, so when Hermes was done playing around he scooped Odysseus up, plopped him down on the nest of foliage he had slept on, and sat down next to him. 

“I understand if this is uncomfortable darling, but this will ensure their health until they molt” Hermes said as he began to work over the feathers with a damp cloth. “I’m sure you’re not used to anyone touching them, considering how secretive you’ve had to…” Hermes trailed off into a soft chuckle. 

Odysseus had gone still as Hermes began tending to his wings. His eyes were closed and he was practically melting into the touch. It wasn’t Penelope, no- the day her hands ran through his feathers again he would likely weep- but it was gentle, it was comfortable, it was familiar. With his eyes closed especially, he could imagine he was sitting at home with Hermes, and Penelope and Telemachus were just a bit away. 

“You’re surprisingly okay with this.” Hermes hummed softly. He was gently working over each feather, ensuring they were all straightened and laid properly. Some of the edges of the feathers were damaged, so Hermes began applying some sweet smelling oil to them. “Here. This should help them from worsening. You should molt when things get a little safer for you. Probably. Not that I have to deal with any of that, ha! But you’re mortal.”

“I know how molting works, Hermes. I’ve had the ones on my head my whole life, it makes sense that the others will do the same.” Odysseus said, a smile tugging at his face. 

“It’s going to be miserable.”

“I am aware. Again. I’ve had these my whole life.”

Hermes giggled. “Yet you’re still so relaxed. Do you like your wings being cared for that much?”

Odysseus hesitated, for a moment. Shook his head- not enough to move away from Hermes’s hands, though. “I don’t like most people touching them at all. Just Penelope- my wife- and you. Or… well, I suppose I’d be okay with my son Telemachus and maybe Polites, but not to the same extent.”

Hermes was silent, for a bit, but he was still lightly going over Odysseus’s feathers- they should be cleaned now, at this point it was clear that Hermes was just doing it to be social, it was clear that Odysseus was just letting him because it was a comfort. 

“You seem to trust me quite a lot considering I’m a god you only just met, darling.”

Odysseus sighed. Opened his eyes. He looked over to where Hermes was, presumably meeting his gaze. “It’s not something I’m entirely willing to speak of. Not yet.” He didn’t let his expression shift out of the practiced neutral contentment as he lightly pulled the wing in Hermes’s hands away and stood up. “I need to face Circe, wouldn’t want the moly to wear off before I get the chance.”

Hermes’s concern was only noticeable for a moment before the god took to the air again, returning to his hyperactive motions. “Right!” He zipped away, coming back with a bundle of soft clean fabric he promptly shoved into Odysseus’s arms. “Here. This will be much more comfortable, I made it while you were asleep!” 

Odysseus changed, donning the light grey chiton. With the sides open as they were it was much more comfortable, he could hold his wings close or stretch them out, no fabric in the way. He put his old sandals on, but when he stared at his cloak, he had a thought. A thought that could theoretically get him struck down, perhaps, but he knew it wouldn’t. 

He moved close to Hermes, as if he was going to say something. When the god’s attention was on him, guard down, that was when Odysseus struck. 

In one swift motion he lunged at Hermes, un-clasped the green cloak the god wore, and stole it, before darting away. Hermes had tried to push him away when he lunged, which only helped Odysseus put a little bit of distance between them as he made off with the cloak, donning it as he ran. 

Chapter Text

Odysseus had found Circe’s palace rather easily. Even as he jokingly evaded Hermes’s grasp, he navigated towards it. 

The entrance was unguarded, and he could see Circe in the distance, back to him. He took a step forward. 

“Darling wait-“ Hermes called out. 

Odysseus looked back. Hermes was hovering a few paces away. “Hm?”

“Be careful. She won’t care about your wings- honestly they’ll likely interest her, more than anything. So you don’t have to worry about that.” Ah, because that would be a reasonable thing to worry about if he didn’t know Circe. “And I’ll be watching the whole time. But I can’t step in. There are rules to all this.”

Odysseus nodded. “Like how Aeolus had to give me the bag. I have to be able to fail, you can’t just do it for me.”

Hermes nodded. “Exactly. Now!” He clapped his hands together. “Off you pop, and don’t you dare die! I’ll be watching.”

“It would be a terrible first impression if we went through all that with my wings and then I immediately died.” Odysseus nodded. Hermes laughed at that, as Odysseus passed the threshold into the palace. 

He kept silent for a moment, just watching as he drew closer to the sorceress tending to the flowers that grew within her home. She seemed relaxed- had she not heard his footsteps, or at least how loud Hermes had laughed? Or was she waiting to strike?

He took a breath, then projected his voice- keeping it steady and friendly, oozing with charm. “Lady of the palace! I truly must apologize for intruding upon your domain.” She turned towards him, and he flashed a confident smile. “My men and I have wound up here, on your island. It was an extremely unfortunate turn of events, and I wish this wasn’t how we met.” He bowed, the fluttering of his wings the only thing that betrayed his nerves. 

Circe’s gaze was cold, piercing. She had no reason to trust him, she didn’t know him. He was glad none of her nymphs were around at the moment- he would be much more of a threat in her eyes if they were, and she would fight all the harder to protect them. She was their queen, their caretaker, and men had done nothing but hurt them. 

Odysseus dropped the charming facade. “Circe. I don’t want to fight you, or hurt any of the nymphs here. But you turned five of my men into pigs. I have to protect mine, like you have to protect yours.”

Circe’s expression twisted into one of confusion, but the air grew heavy with magic and her palms glowed gold. 

“I don’t know who you are, nor why you’re here. But let me make one thing clear for you. My nymphs depend on me to protect them, I cannot take any chances with beasts like you around.” She spat, glowing palms outturned, yellow eyes piercing, clear intent to intimidate. 

With how much magic there was around, many would cower in fear. But Odysseus had faced far, far worse. He had tormented the Lord of the Tides, and been stained by the blood he shed. Despite the blood rushing in his ears, he stood firm. “You can’t place any spells on me, Circe. Not right now. Last night I ate a flower that allows me to counter your power, and avoid being affected by your magic.”

Her fingers twitched. Hesitance. Concern. Not much crossed her face, no, but he could still recognize the minute change in demeanor. She knew she couldn’t win easily, and that he wasn’t getting intimidated. 

“You must be lying.” She bit back. “Mortals can’t acquire moly without dire consequences.” 

Odysseus raised a brow, stretching the wings on his back out silently. She should understand what they meant, more than most did.

“Ah. Hermes gave it-“ she went silent, eyes locked onto the underside of his wings. Wings which were stained with splatters of gold that painted a violent and impossible picture to those who knew enough to fear it. And fear she clearly did, eyes blazing gold as magic swelled. After all, anyone brazen enough to harm an immortal of any kind and live to be stained by it despite being obviously mortal themself was dangerous . 

Circe raised her hands in front of her and a chimera lunged into existence in between them, not letting Odysseus any closer. It was charging him, fangs bared, and he was out of time to think. 

He felt a surge of power as the moly responded to his panic, but he couldn’t focus enough. Something was trying to form, yes, and it was enough to block the chimera temporarily, but its form was shifting, tumultuous. One moment it was a looming monster with six snaking heads, another it was as shapeless and swirling as the sea. After a moment it solidified into a cyclops, just in time for the chimera to tear out its throat. 

Odysseus was on the back foot now. He had to evade the monster, even as his resistance to Circe’s magic would be quickly fading. He could do it, sure, he had faced worse, but that didn’t stop the panic from starting to build. 

How had he messed up at something so badly? When he had handled it as well as he could have last time? Why was he having to dodge the monster as it lunged at him, instead of waiting for the chance to strike?

He wasn’t focused enough. A claw grazed his wing, feathers scattered. He almost didn’t hear the worried yelp from outside a window over his own gasp of pain. He was panicking. He had to do something. 

He took a breath, staying still. Facing the chimera down, as it lunged at him once more. He rolled forward under its pounce, and sprung towards Circe. His wings were beating furiously, though they couldn’t carry him, as if the momentum would make him faster even as the new injury burned. He could feel more than hear the chimera charging after him. 

His sword was to Circe’s neck before the chimera could pin him. Edge sharp, pressed to the skin. If the chimera crashed into him she’d be going with him. Her eyes were wide with fear that surely mirrored his own. 

The room went silent behind him. He kept the blade to her neck as he looked back to see the now empty room. Only then, knowing he was safe- or, safer - did his wings still. 

All the venom had seeped out of Circe, and she was left wide eyed, at Odysseus’s mercy. 

He should force her to undo her spell on his men. Threaten her nymphs lives because if he killed her it would be for nothing. He should do whatever it took to get everyone out of there. “You’ve lost.” He growled. 

She glanced around frantically, scanning the room. “This changes nothing.” He recognized the desperate defiance in her voice. “My nymphs are like my daughters, I protect them at all costs. Last time I-“

“Circe.” He cut her off. He should just raze the place. Force her to set everyone free. Make her suffer in kind. But instead, his voice softened. “I’m not going to hurt your nymphs. Or you. I won’t let my men anywhere near here, and if we must, I’ll ask Hermes really nicely to make the Forest impossible to navigate like I know he’s done before.” 

He let up on the pressure. His sword was still at the ready, aimed at her, but he took a step back. “I know I’m a threat. I know what that stain means. I’ve done what I had to, and it changed me. But…” he sighed, wings fluttering idly at his sides. “I’m stained by blood enough. I’ll continue to do what I have to, always. But no more than that.”

Circe’s eyes gleamed, and Odysseus took another step back. He could lower his sword. 

“You’ve given me no reason to trust you, not when you outnumber us here so significantly.” Circe said, a strange hum to her voice. 

“Don’t try to enchant and seduce me. I have a wife, it won’t work.” Odysseus warned. “I already know I’ll break free if you try.”

Circe raised an eyebrow. “Oh? And why’s that?”

Odysseus hesitated. “I… can’t tell you that.”

The air thrummed with magic, almost static. Circe’s eyes were a blazing gold, and sparks danced around her. “I’m sure I can get the truth out of you.” She giggled. “One way or another. Especially now that the moly has worn off.”

It was fine. Last time, Odysseus had snapped out of whatever spell she had placed on him. And this time it didn’t even feel as if she was trying to seduce him, even if the buzz in the air was the same. 

Chapter Text

Circe leaned in, putting a hand on Odysseus’s arm. Right, he was still gripping at his sword. He didn’t need to do that. She was being reasonable right now, he didn’t want to scare her into action again. 

“Come now, there are other ways I could be persuaded.” Her hand snaked down his arm to take his hand now that it was free. “You’re quite interesting, aren’t you?”

He blinked. The wings at his heels were fluttering, lightly glancing his legs over and over again. “I was just trying to kill you. You were just trying to kill me.”

She smiled sadly. “Yes… you seem to know why though, don’t you? You seem to know quite a lot about me.”

Odysseus let her lead him to the kline, the seat he remembered sitting down on and talking with her last time. He never learned the full story, but her fierce protectiveness of her nymphs had clearly been a learned one. His thoughts felt like they were sinking through sand but he nodded, a delayed answer to her question. “You helped us- are going to help us. Maybe. If I can prove I mean no harm. Or… was it…” his feathers fluffed out. He was having a hard time holding on to thoughts for long. 

“I still don’t see any reason I should help you.” She reached out and ran her fingers through his hair. The air was sweet, the aroma of the flowers Circe cared for coated everything. It was intoxicating. “And I don’t know why you’re so certain I will.”

“You did last time. ‘S why I knew to keep my men away from here. They didn’t listen but I wanted to speak with you alone first to try and keep you from getting worried. Some good that did.” Odysseus sighed. “I know they wanted to do something that wasn’t sitting around, especially after… I don’t blame them for ignoring my warnings and trying to scout.” His words were flowing more loosely than he wanted them to. Had he gotten drunk… no, no, he hadn’t drank anything, this shouldn’t be… 

“Ah, yes, that intrigues me.” She trailed a hand down his chest, even as that made a pit grow in his stomach. “A man like you, with such a big fleet, hunting down five missing men?”

“We just lost 200 men to the lord of the tides because I didn’t keep us safe.” Saying the words felt like a knife was digging into his chest. He had failed again. Or, was that just her touch? Odysseus tried to pull away, but she was right there . “I tried to sacrifice to appease him but it just drew his attention to us.”

“Mmm. You still have 400 or so though, right?” Circe asked, eyes wide, expression soft. She was showing genuine interest, genuine care. 

“That’s not the problem. I let them die a second time, all because I couldn’t figure out a better place than that gods forsaken cave to find food!” Odysseus buried his face in his hands. “It’s one thing to lose everything because of your failures and the games the gods play once, but to mess it up again?”

Circe tilted her head, mouth parted as if to say something but Odysseus was continuing on even as she took his hands in hers to make sure he was looking at her. 

“And then I try to make things go smoother with you and not only does the blood that stains me make you too scared to listen, but then I can’t focus on one monster long enough to fight back? Gods, I wouldn’t be surprised if instead of helping us you send us fleeing to another place to try and make repairs, because even though I’m changing things half of it is for the worst!” His wings flared out, feathers fluffing up as if he could just intimidate away everything that tormented him. 

Circe’s eyes were drawn to the ichor stains once more. It was a violent splatter, too, no doubt in what he’d have to do to cause it. “What did you do ?” 

Odysseus shielded his eyes with the wings behind his ears. He didn’t need to see her reaction. He didn’t want to tell her, but his thoughts were like sand, and he had to answer her questions. The sensation of the knife in his chest twisted, ached. “I forced him to get rid of his storm. Forced him to feel the pain I felt losing 600 men. Tortured him for daring to break Hermes’s wing. Forced him to let me go home after twenty-“

There were hands over his ears and everything went still, silent. The overbearing perfume of flowers that had likely been amplified was suddenly gone, and the buzzing of magic was no longer dancing across his skin. 

He froze. How- why-

She had enchanted him. But rather than the seduction he had expected and braced for, she had forced him… to speak the truth? She had forced him to have a loose tongue on the one thing that was most important to keep to himself?

His wings were beating, responding to his gut-deep need to get out. It took him a moment for his thoughts to catch up to his body, but when they did he twisted away from whoever was touching him. There was no denying what he said, no sweet talking his way out of this. The only thing that stopped him from running was the fact that she had his men. 

He stared at Circe, trying not to let on just how panicked he was. He wasn’t stupid enough to think it worked, but he tried. Her eyes were wide, almost fearful, and she was glancing behind him, where-

“That’s enough, don’t you think Circe? If you won’t fight fair neither will I.”

“Hermes, what are you doing? The rules of-“

“ Enough , Circe.” He cut her off. 

All Odysseus could think about was the fact that Hermes had heard all that, which only made the panic worse. His wings were starting to ache with how quickly they were beating to try and carry him away, all while his feet were practically stuck to the ground. 

Hermes came around in front of Odysseus, and despite the ice in his tone when he spoke to Circe, his expression was all soft, and his voice followed suit when he spoke. “Hey, hey. Look at me darling, would you?”

Odysseus tried to turn his head away, but Hermes reached up and cupped Odysseus’s face in his hand. 

“Take a breath, darling. It’s safe. There’s no threat here.” Hermes offered a soft smile, but it wavered a little. Was he really that worried?

Odysseus took a breath as he was told. Okay. The two people in the room with him now knew what he had gone through. But anyone else could be watching, and he couldn’t trust that other gods wouldn’t get mad at him for messing with fate, even if he knew Hermes probably wouldn’t care, at least about that part. 

There was no sweet talking his way out of this one. No way of weaving his words into a believable shroud to hide behind. That didn’t stop him from trying to turn away, and this time Hermes didn’t stop him, and the loss of the touch was worse. 

“Circe, dear, lets have some privacy yes?” Hermes spoke. 

“… I’ll let his men go so they can take the news that he’s safe back to the ships.” 

Odysseus’s wings flared in surprise, and he glanced over at Circe. She looked nervous, and kept looking between him and… Hermes. Who was currently positioned between Odysseus and Circe, and had his wings spread as if to guard Odysseus. 

Even though the two of them were friends- at least as far as Odysseus knew- Hermes was still a god, and one that was acting particularly protective at the moment. Maybe it made sense that Circe was backing down, hurrying off.

“You weren’t supposed to know any of that.” Odysseus mumbled. 

“I know.” Hermes said, voice soft, as he turned back to Odysseus and reached out, taking Odysseus’s hands into his. 

“I never would have…”

“Shh. I know. Come on, let’s get somewhere a little more private.” Hermes said, lightly pulling Odysseus along. 

Odysseus numbly followed as Hermes led him to a side room in the palace, rather than the main hall. He didn’t pay much attention as Hermes conjured up a nest of pillows, and didn’t protest when Hermes lightly pushed him to sit down. 

A thought occurred to him, and his wings began to beat rapidly again. Hermes leaned in close, concern evident. 

“Hey, you’re safe. What’s wrong darling?”

“Is anyone watching? Did anyone see, anyone hear that?” Odysseus couldn’t help the panic in his voice. If the gods found out how much he had played with fate, what would happen?”

Hermes frowned, tilting his head. “I don’t think anyone’s around, at least, I didn’t sense anyone watching, and I’m better at noticing than most.”

“They’d kill me for unraveling the threads of fate. I’ve already kept people from dying Hermes, I can’t- I-“ He couldn’t breathe. He couldn’t even finish the jumbled explanations he tried to give. Hermes would surely understand why it was so dangerous, right? Why he couldn’t be found out?

“Shh, I know, darling I know.” Hermes had knelt in front of Odysseus. He reached out and ran a hand through Odysseus’s hair. “You’re safe. Just take a moment. Nothing’s happening to you on my watch, just take a breath.”

Odysseus could barely think, let alone breathe, but he tried. Hermes started working through the feathers on Odysseus’s head wings, and that, at least, was something he could focus on. A sensation that was softer than his racing heart or his need to run. 

The touch was something real. Hermes was right there. Hermes had helped fight Poseidon, a much more powerful god, for Odysseus. As much as Odysseus didn’t want to see him get hurt, he knew he could trust him. He was safe. 

He should be giving explanations. Trying to justify his wrongful actions, why he didn’t just let fate play out as it should. But instead he let Hermes shift to sit behind him, gently tending to his wings. But instead he let himself take a break. But instead he sheltered there, Hermes’s own wings curled around as if to shield the two of them from the outside world, at least for now.

Chapter Text

Odysseus didn’t know how long he sat there leaned back against Hermes. He did know that even if his wings hadn’t been cleaned that morning they’d be clean twice over now. But the worst part was just how… still… Hermes was. 

Hermes was hyperactive. Always on the move. Always keeping busy. Maybe part of it was because as the gods messenger he had instincts driving him to keep going, with how many gods all wanted him to pass on something or other. But part of it was just… how he was, how Odysseus had always known him to be. Even when he had been grounded by a broken wing and temporarily made mortal, he was always moving. 

But Hermes was still, save for his hands still moving over Odysseus’s feathers. And he was quiet, save for an occasional hum. 

Hermes should be asking questions- should be demanding answers. Years of proof that Hermes wasn’t like what Odysseus expected from the gods did nothing to dispel the fear of those expectations being met. After all, that was a Hermes that knew Odysseus. A Hermes that had searched for him for seven years. This was a Hermes that barely knew him, that should be more aligned with the gods than with one insignificant mortal. But he was silent. 

“I should probably answer some questions…” Odysseus finally spoke.

Hermes hummed softly. “Do you want me to ask?”

“You should. Really you should’ve asked way more by now.” Odysseus said. “I expected a lot more questions, if not…” he trailed off. He had hoped that he could get away with no one finding out, but even knowing that was unlikely he thought it would be on his terms. He thought he would whisper to Penelope as she held him, as he held her, stories Telemachus would be too young to know. He thought maybe he would mention a detail here or there to Hermes, and get to take his time elaborating. But instead it was stolen from him while he was unable to think enough to stop it. 

“Fine. I’ll ask questions.” Hermes said, and Odysseus braced himself. “Are you okay?”

Odysseus turned to look at Hermes. The god adjusted to lightly pull Odysseus into leaning up against him. Clingy as always… oh, this was going to make that worse wasn’t it? Odysseus sighed. “I… didn’t want anyone to know. Not until I got us home at least.” 

“Is there anything you need me to know?” Hermes asked, as his wings wrapped around Odysseus tighter. 

“I was the only one that made it home last time, and it was my own fault.”

“I don’t believe you.”

Odysseus stilled. “You don’t know what I did.”

“I don’t. And I don’t know you as you know me.” Hermes agreed. “But you said it yourself. I’m one of two, maybe three people you’re comfortable with touching your wings. Yet you seemed very resolved to not get to know me if it meant getting everyone home fast- and therefore before you could lose any of them.”

Odysseus flinched, finally attempting to pull away from how much Hermes was coddling him. Hermes let him, and floated back a bit away, silently. “I failed at that. No matter how much I try to change things they keep going the same way.” He curled in on himself, back turned on Hermes. He didn’t want to see whatever expression might be shrouded there. Be it disappointment, or pity. Either would only sting. 

“ Oh, darling… ” Hermes’s voice was soft.  “You’ve changed things. That in itself is almost unheard of. The threads of fate are so tightly woven. The fact that you’ve torn any of them out is nothing but impressive.”

“It’s not enough!” Odysseus snapped, before being hit by a spike of that all too familiar fear- how dare he talk back to a god like that. His comfort with Hermes meant nothing when the fact of the matter was that he-

“Breathe, Odysseus.” 

Hermes’s voice cut through the rising panic. Because it was still Hermes. The one pillar of safety he’d had for the past more than a decade. Odysseus took a breath. 

“I still lost two hundred of my comrades. I wasn’t able to deal with the cyclops in time and the lord of the tides still learned of us.” Odysseus sighed, wings behind his ears flapping in agitation. “… my insistence on sacrifices to him drew his attention.”

“Did you lose this many to the earth-shaker last time?” 

“Last time I only had forty-three left when we washed ashore on Aeaea.” Odysseus dug his hands into the cushions he was nestled amongst, because he didn’t trust himself not to start plucking out feathers. “Forty-two when we-“ 

He stood with a jolt, cursing under his breath. “The roof. One of the- he was one of our youngest, gods , what was his name- he got drunk and fell. I don’t remember when, I-“ he had started pacing at some point, and tapping his hands together. “I need to check in with the crew.” 

Odysseus turned to Hermes, who was watching with his head tilted. 

“This is… a really big ask.” Odysseus took a breath. “Last time a lot of things happened.” He grabbed at the cloak Hermes still hadn’t taken back so he wouldn’t grip the hilt of his sword and send the entirely wrong message. “Is there any chance I could ask you to do as much of your job as possible and then come back after repairs are done and we get ready to sail again?”

Because if things were going to be the same (Odysseus hated the thought. He was so resolute in his will to get them all home, and for what?) he didn’t want to be alone as his crew drifted further and further away- as he drifted further and further down into monstrosity. 

Hermes cracked a smile at that. “After all that you’re wanting to get rid of me?” He teased. “I don’t know how long my duties will take, if I’ll have enough done by the time things are ready. Circe plans to help you, after all.”

Odysseus flinched. “… okay. I understand. You’re a busy god, and-“

“ But. ” Hermes was suddenly in Odysseus’s face, suddenly in rapid motion. He placed a finger over Odysseus’s mouth to shush him. “I can ask around, see if anyone can cover me for a while. That way I won’t have to rush off or anything.” 

Odysseus had never said anything of the sort. Were his thoughts too obvious? Or had Hermes really already gotten that good of a read on things? Or had he just seen the desperation Odysseus carried?

“You don’t have to do that. I’m sure the other gods are very busy, don’t interrupt their duties for one mortal.” If they found out why Hermes was shirking his duties, especially considering the rules he’d already broken, who knew what they’d do? 

“It’s okay .” Hermes insisted. “I know what I’m doing. Trust me, won’t you?” Before Odysseus could reply Hermes laughed. “If I didn’t know better I’d say you were trying to get rid of me before I could give you this!” He held out a circular golden pin- identical to the one already pinned at Odysseus’s shoulder, but the new one thrummed with a faint divine power. “May I?”

Odysseus nodded, and let Hermes re-pin the short green cloak. He was a bit surprised that Hermes didn’t take it back- it seemed like he was being allowed to keep it? 

“There.” Hermes moved back. “With this no one who doesn’t know about your wings will be able to see them.”

“Thank you.”

“Don’t thank me, darling. It’s the least I could do for you.” Hermes smiled. “Now. Anything else before I go?”

Odysseus thought for a moment, before nodding. “If you don’t have time it’s fine, but is there any chance you could do the same blessing for my son? Leave something and make sure he knows that it will hide them? He never cut them off, but he still had to wrap them all the time, and…”

Hermes’s face lit up. “So he does have wings! Of course, I’ll get someone to cover for my duties and then hurry on over to Ithaca, and be back before you can wonder where I am!” He gave a playful two finger salute, before calming, going still. 

Odysseus tilted his head when Hermes moved close again. 

“You really will be okay, darling?”

“I’ve been back for months now. Just because you just found out doesn’t mean any of this is new to me.” Odysseus offered the bravest smile he could. “I’ll be okay. I’ve faced worse than repairing some ships. But I really do have to check in with my crew- Eurylochus will know who I’m worried for even if I don’t.”

Hermes nodded. He had the gall to reach out and pat Odysseus on the head and fly off before he could even protest. 

Odysseus was left to navigate out of Circe’s palace. He didn’t know whether he was glad he didn’t run into the witch or not. He needed to talk to her- figure out if the underworld thing was still happening, and ask if she was willing to offer supplies, because anything that could fend off starvation was wanted. But he didn’t know if he could face her after what she forced him to say, not yet. 

So instead he settled for leaving, and navigating his way back to where the ships were beached on the shore. 

Eurylochus was there, talking to five men Odysseus could only assume were the ones that had temporarily been pigs. Odysseus stepped forward towards the group. 

They parted for him to join the conversation. None spared his wings a second glance, as they all spoke over each other about how worried they had been when Circe had said he had convinced her to let them go, but he was nowhere to be found. 

“I promise, I was fine. I simply was speaking to someone. I’ll tell you all more later.” He gave a toothy smile. He wouldn’t be so calm and content if he was hurt, if something happened to him. 

He caught Eurylochus glancing between his wings and the men around him, and met his eyes. He gave a minute head shake. Don’t mention it, they don’t know, nothing's wrong. 

The conversation went on for a moment, as they spoke of what Circe had done, what things were like, before Odysseus spoke again. He didn’t want to seem too worried, he didn’t want to stress out the men who had been swine an hour ago, it wasn’t fair to them. 

“I’ll have to apologize for cutting this short.” Odysseus spoke. “Eurylochus, may I pull you aside? I have a few things I need to discuss with you.”

“Of course captain.”

“Everyone else, get to work on repairs. Don’t take resources from too close to where the palace is. And…” Odysseus let his bright expression drop. “No one touches any of the nymphs here. Make sure everyone knows it, won’t you?”

The men nodded and went off, letting Odysseus lead Eurylochus out of earshot from anyone else. 

“I remembered something that has me worried, Eury.” Odysseus spoke. “I don’t…” he couldn’t just say he didn’t remember his crew, especially not someone on his own ship. Not when Eurylochus thought it was just some vision, rather than years of his life. “I don’t have enough details, but someone on our ship is going to die tonight. I can’t let that happen, we can’t-“

Eurylochus put a hand on Odysseus’s shoulder. “Okay. What are the details?”

Odysseus sighs. “He got drunk and fell off the roof of Circe’s palace. I’m pretty sure it was one of our youngest, but…”

“Elpenor?”

Odysseus’s eyes widened. He remembered seeing the man in the underworld, finding out how he had died. Yet another man he had failed.  “I think so. Do we know where he is?”

Eurylochus was looking at Odysseus strangely, before shaking his head. “I’ll see if he’s around, try to find him. It might be better if we split up to look.”

Odysseus nodded, and the two of them started checking in with all of the men, trying to find one among hundreds. 

Chapter Text

Elpenor was not among the men around the ships. Actually, several of their men were missing, but most of them had been looking for supplies. And most of them didn’t have the threads of fate hanging like a noose around their neck, not in that exact moment at least. 

So Odysseus found himself rushing back into Circe’s palace, only to be faced with several nymphs that had been clustered together and talking. 

He immediately took a step back, raised his hands to show he held no weapons. That didn’t stop them from watching him fearfully. He couldn’t blame them. 

“I don’t mean to be any bother.” He spoke, sounding calmer than he was. “One of my men is missing and I know he might be drunk and could get hurt. Have you seen anyone?”

They mutter amongst each other, before one of them nodded. “I saw a man stumbling around, before making his way up to the palace roof.” 

Odysseus didn’t have time to respond, instead sprinting back out to look up to the roof- where there was absolutely a figure, mostly still, mostly just looking out on the horizon. 

“Elpenor?” Odysseus called out. 

The figure turned, and moved to where he could look down at Odysseus. He was swaying slightly, and Odysseus realized he might have just called the man closer to the edge. 

“Captain..? Wha’s goin…” Elpenor’s speech was slurred, but that wasn’t the worst part. 

The worst part of this situation was that when Elpenor tried to lean over to squint at Odysseus, he lost his footing, and pitched forward. 

Odysseus didn’t know what had happened, at first. He knew that when he saw Elpenor begin to fall he had cursed and then begged any god that could hear him for aid. He knew his wings were beating fast enough that despite the healing Hermes had done to ensure they grew in safe and healthy they all ached. He knew he was on the ground one moment, not even sure where to run to get to Elpenor, and he was in the air the next moment, with a drunk and panicked man in his arms and a draft holding him aloft. 

It was only pure instinct and memory of things Hermes had taught him last time that let him keep his wings spread wide, letting the wind hold him aloft, rather than daring to flap them and set himself and Elpenor careening to the ground. It was pure instinct that kept him aloft even as he panicked and tried to keep Elpenor from climbing out of his arms.

“Elpenor, stop-“ Odysseus had to tighten his grip. Drunkenness and panic did not mix well. “ Elpenor !” He let a growl creep into his voice. Nowhere near the venom that soaked his every word when he dealt with the men who had tormented Penelope, no- Elpenor was one of his, not some vile interloper- but enough to startle the man into stillness. 

Elpenor stared at Odysseus, for a moment. Eyes wide. “How are we-“

“Hahaha!” A playful voice cut in, and suddenly Odysseus was being held up by the armpits, the wind beneath his wings still. 

He let his wings go still in turn, to not beat them against the god that was slowly lowering him to the ground. “Lord Aeolus, why are you here?”

“You prayed for help saving your little crewmate here.” They giggled, and gave a small wave to the stunned silent Elpenor. “I happened to be nearby, I had wanted to talk to Hermes and last I heard he was around here.”

Odysseus nodded. “He was, but right now he’s out tending to a few things.” He felt Elpenor’s stare turn to him. To be fair, he was discussing a gods whereabouts as easily as he might talk of his family back home. “He’ll be back soon though, once he’s handled some matters.”

Aeolus moved away once they knew Odysseus wouldn’t fall, and flipped onto their back, hair hanging almost to the ground as they met Odysseus’s eyes upside down. “You talked with him. Ohhh, and you have his blessing, that’s what I feel on you! Good to see he finally learned who you are, little feathers!”

Odysseus let out a hiss. “Don’t mention that.” He motioned to Elpenor with one of his wings as he tried to get the man to stand on his own two feet. “He gave me a blessing for safe travels.” The blessing hid his wings from those that didn’t know, sure, but it didn’t stop things from being suspicious, and even though Elpenor was concerningly drunk that didn’t mean he wouldn’t notice anything. 

Aeolus tilted their head- which was quite a strange sight upside down- before nodding. “Ahhh. He wants to protect the little king. I understand, you’re quite the interesting one after all! Well, I’ll leave you be for now! Though I hope you can give me more interesting things!” 

Aeolus was spinning off before Ofysseus could ask what “interesting things” they wanted. 

Odysseus turned his focus to Elpenor. He was standing on his own, which was promising.

“Do you think you can make it back to the ships?” Odysseus asked. 

Elpenor didn’t answer right away, just staring at Odysseus for a moment. 

“I understand that was strange. That was the god I asked for aid back during the storm, the one who cleared the skies for us. They took a liking to me, I don’t know why.”

“Ah.” Elpenor frowned. “How did you find… I mean…” his brow furrowed. “How’d you get here so fast… they said you’d left…”

“I asked for a headcount, and Eurylochus noticed you were missing but weren’t one of the ones gathering supplies to rebuild. Who said that?” Odysseus started leading the way back towards the ship, using a wing to keep Elpenor close, not that the man would notice. 

“Lady Circe and her nymphs.” Odysseus almost cursed Elpenor out right then and there. Almost. It must have shown in his face, because Elpenor shrank back. “I wasn’t tryin’ta disobey orders or nothing! I-“ he ducked his head sheepishly- and he should be sheepish! But that threw his already poor balance off and he stumbled. 

Odysseus reached out to stabilize him with a sigh. “Did you get lost in the woods around the palace?”

“… yes, captain.”

“Alright.” Odysseus sighed. That was all well and good, but seriously, how did he end up drunk? “Did Circe give you wine or something?”

“Yes, she gave me wine and sent me on my way.”

Odysseus nodded. It made sense that she would go as far as to even bribe someone to leave, they were lucky that she hadn’t just turned him into yet another pig. 

What mattered was that he got there in time. 

What mattered was that he was able to safely escort Elpenor back to the shore, where he was greeted by a man that Odysseus almost swore was the one that stabbed him, when the mutiny…

He left quickly.

-

Odysseus flitted between his men as they made repairs. He checked on people, asked how they were doing. He sat and listened if they wanted to talk. 

He heard many a man missing their families. He heard many a man longing for the warm embrace and comfort of home. 

Each comment dug at his heart, but he put on a smile and a reassuring lilt in his voice, and made promises he had been growing more and more sure would be empty, in the end. 

He was their captain, their king. Their safety was his responsibility. He held all the power over them, was making all the calls when it mattered most. 

So even if he couldn’t put a name to almost any face he spoke to, he lifted up every one of their burdens. His shoulders were broad enough to carry it all. 

And he silently mourned each life that was lost last time, for no one else could remember to do it. 

He shouldn’t have been surprised, to hear the familiar gait of a friend walking up behind him. Still, he startled when a voice spoke. 

“You look more rested than when I last saw you.”

Odysseus turned to see Polites, friendly as ever, a few strides away. “Polites! Ah, yes. The Messenger lent me his aid in facing Circe, but he made me rest first. He was annoyingly stubborn about it too, I’m sure you’d get along.” Odysseus’s false smile meant to keep morale up dropped into a softer one. 

“Oh?” Polites watched Odysseus, clearly curious. “And is the fleet-footed Messenger the reason your wings-“

“It’s a blessing.” Odysseus cut Polites off. “No one that doesn’t know of them can see them. So don’t mention them when others are around. But yes. My great-grandfather now knows of our relation.”

Polites’s eyes widened at that. “You-“ he blinked, then laughed. “I can’t even be surprised. That makes… a surprising amount of sense.”

“Hey?! What’s that supposed to mean-“

Polites sidestepped Odysseus when he tried to grab at him, grinning. “You know exactly what I mean. Now shouldn't we be working on making repairs?”

“You’re the one that came over to talk to me!” Still, Odysseus relented, and worked side by side with his friend to keep fixing the ships up. 

He was torn between wanting it to just be over with fast, or wanting to take as much time as they could so Hermes could have more time to learn of the goings-on in Ithaca, more time to bring news of his family back to Odysseus.

Chapter Text

Repairing eight ships was harder than repairing one. Even though more men were available, more hands were ready to be put to work, the amount of supplies needed was also multiplied. And the more men there were the harder it was to organize. 

But it was a job they got done, because despite Odysseus being out of his depth at this point, his men worked easily as a unit. 

And… of course they would. They were an army, and one that had been together for ten years now. One that had survived through everything together. 

The least Odysseus could do would be to actually talk to Circe, talk about possibly getting supplies from her- food, to stave off starvation a little longer. But he couldn't make himself face her, not right now. 

Instead he worked alongside his men, making repairs, taking stock of supplies, and overall just trying to get things moving as quick as possible. Still, there were mutters among the crew, questions that grew the longer it took to get things done. 

“Captain, I need to speak with you.” Eurylochus said after the supplies had been checked for a third time. 

Odysseus hesitated, glancing around. He knew if too many people were around there was always a chance that whatever doubts Eurylochus had would spiral into something uncontrollable and shared by them all.

But no one else was around. Which was strange, he had just been working alongside-

“I sent Perimedes and the others off to redistribute some of the rations. We can speak in peace.”

Odysseus relaxed slightly at that. “Thank you, Eurylochus. What do you need?”

“We need to talk about what our plan is. We need to get home, but the lord of the seas is against us. The men are getting nervous.”

Odysseus sighed, and the wings behind his ears twitched. “I know. I… am going to need to discuss that with Circe, but I…”

“Why would you need to talk about our plans with her?”

“I can’t watch us starve to death, Eury.” Odysseus said, and instead of the man in front of him all he could think of was a desperate, exhausted man raising a sword high and cutting the throat of a cow he knew would be his doom. 

“Ody?” Eurylochus’s voice shifted slightly. “What’s going on? You aren’t usually so…” Eurylochus trailed off, instead reaching out a hand. A hand that, for just a moment as it caught the sun's light, almost looked stained with flecks of gold. 

Odysseus froze, his wings fluffing out. That…

No. That was impossible. Eurylochus didn’t know anything about the first time, he had been very clearly reacting as if everything was new. And there was nothing that could have stained him like that this time. That was impossible. 

But the way the sun glinted…

Eurylochus almost put his hand on Odysseus’s shoulder, but he hesitated, then pulled back. “Are you…”

“How do you have ichor stains on your hand?”

The question came spilling out before Odysseus could even think to phrase it better, to dance around the subject and prod until he got hints of an answer. 

Eurylochus stilled. Looked down at his hands. Now that Odysseus was looking closer, there was a distinct splatter of gold on Eurylochus’s hands and forearms. How had he not noticed before- had he really not taken a close look at his second in command since he woke up back here?

“I don’t know. I noticed it soon after we left Troy, but…”

There was a pit in Odysseus’s stomach. Did more things carry over? Surely he would have noticed, surely, wouldn’t he?

But how much attention had he really paid? He hadn’t exactly been looking for signs that things had come back with him. 

“I could ask the same of you, Ody.” Eurylochus was watching him, and there was a wariness in his eyes, laced with worry. 

“I…” what could he say, that he knew exactly why they both were stained in gold when they shouldn’t be? That Eurylochus had killed a cow because the punishment would be a faster death than starvation, and then Zeus forced Odysseus to rub salt in the wound by agreeing to the crew’s death? That the last he had seen of Eurylochus was a scared and betrayed expression and hands soaked in gold, as the other men swarmed and tried to kill him? That every moment of that was weighed down even more by the fact that Eurylochus had planned to sacrifice Odysseus as a last ditch attempt to stay alive?

The longer he was silent, the more Eurylochus’s soft expression hardened into a more wary, distant one. And that was the last thing he wanted, he didn’t want the distance that had grown between the two of them. 

“I haven’t been entirely honest with you.” The words were spilling out before he could stop himself. “Any of you. And Circe forced me to tell her when I was facing her to get our men back.” This had nothing to do with the ichor staining them, yet everything to do with it at the same time. 

“She-“ there was a flash of worry on Eurylochus’s face, and he looked Odysseus over. “Are you okay? What-“

“She used her magic to force me to tell the truth. The moly that should have protected me from her had worn off and…” Odysseus sighed. “It weighs on me, I suppose.”

“Is there a reason you’re keeping things to yourself? Is it because of the vision you received?" 

Odysseus didn’t mean for the wings behind his ears to move to shield his eyes, but it meant he didn’t have to see how Eurylochus would look at him when he answered. “I didn’t receive a vision. I’ve lived through this before.”

The wings on his ankles beat furiously, as if they were trying to carry him away, away, away from this conversation. The sound of the fluttering was the only thing that cut through the silence.  

It was several moments before Eurylochus spoke again. Odysseus tried in vain to still his wings. 

“Will you tell me what happened?”

Odysseus hesitated. He felt the wings on his sides fluff out. 

“Not everything.” Eurylochus said. “Just… why this stains me? I… can only assume you know why, considering…”

Odysseus forced himself to pull his wings to himself, to still, to look at Eurylochus. 

Eurylochus had one hand held close to his chest, as if poised to reach out for Odysseus at any moment. His eyes were wide, his expression soft with worry. 

“You killed one of the immortal cows on the island of the sun god.” Odysseys said, eyes flicking to the stains on Eurylochus’s hands. “The crew was starving, and there were only 36 of us, and I had just done something horrible, so you were the one making the calls, and you made the call that the chance of death to the gods was better than the certainty of a slow death to starvation.” 

Eurylochus had flinched, his whole demeanor shifting. “What do you-“

“I don’t know why the stain remained on you. I thought it only stained me because I was the one who came back to the start of things. You don’t remember any of it, right?”

Eurylochus was staring at Odysseus. His hands were shaking. “Is that why you’ve been acting so…”

Odysseus hesitated. He could say yes. Let Eurylochus think he had done something in a moment of desperation and that was why Odysseus had been acting strangely. That would be so much easier, wouldn’t it? 

“It’s more than that.” Odysseus said instead. “But I can’t… I don’t want…”

Eurylochus was still the same man. Ever loyal to the crew, always questioning the safety of each route, always worrying.

“You’re still the same man that would turn on me if you knew how I had turned on the crew. I need to get us all home.”

“You… what did I do to you, that you’re so sure that I…”

“You opened the wind bag behind my back when we were almost to Ithaca and blew us far away. You tried to use me as a sacrifice as a last ditch effort to avoid punishment for hunting the cows.” Odysseus snapped. 

He wanted Eurylochus to stop looking so sad , so worried . He wanted his friend but he couldn’t handle the softness, so he pushed. He pushed to try and see when Eurylochus would crack and that familiar hurt betrayal would show again. 

“Ody?”

“And the worst part is the longer I’m back the less I can blame you for it because I’m realizing more and more that it was my fault!” Odysseus let out a choked laugh. “I refused to trust anyone with the windbag so you took it into your own hands to investigate when I passed out! You mutinied because I sacrificed six of our remaining forty-two men! Sacrificing me in turn to avoid starvation made sense, but instead the thunderbringer made me choose to have him kill all of you instead of me!” 

How much could he really blame Eurylochus, anyways? How did he dare to react so poorly to Eurylochus when he was the problem? He was the one that failed his crew, time and time again, and even when he got a second chance still let two hundred die?

Eurylochus was about to say something. He was reaching a hand out, his mouth was open. 

Odysseus turned and ran. 

He couldn’t stay to see the hurt betrayal in Eurylochus’s expression, to hear how disappointed Eurylochus was in his captain, to face the sword that would be drawn on him the moment Eury processed just what he had done. 

Chapter Text

He had to get away. He couldn’t stand to see that look in the eyes of his comrade-secondincommand-friend-brother. To feel the blade twist in his back. 

He had to flee. It was strategic, it was the smart move, it was survival. He knew what would happen when his crew turned on him. It led to death for everyone. 

Odysseus didn’t exactly have any plans when he wandered out into the forest. He couldn’t go back, by any means. Not after all he had confessed to. As much as some part of him wanted to face the blade his friend would draw on him, if only because that was something he knew how to navigate, he couldn’t afford to lose everything again. He knew he could get home, he wouldn’t sink as low as he had on Calypso’s island. 

So no, he couldn’t go crawling back to the ships right now. Not without a plan, at least. But he didn’t have anywhere else to go either. Not that he was thinking too hard about that fact. 

Most of his thoughts were dedicated to running through worst case scenarios. 

If he was followed he’d probably have to fight, he wasn’t sure how easily he’d be able to fight off multiple people right now, but he was used to uphill battles. 

He was very deliberately avoiding Circe’s palace but if he somehow ended up there he’d have to apologize, atone. He might have to give her more answers, because there was no way he’d be giving her more . 

He hadn’t meant to stumble into the clearing he had slept in before the confrontation with Circe. He hadn’t really meant to do anything, to be fair, other than get away. But there he was, and there was the soft nest of plants Hermes had conjured up. 

Maybe there was some lingering protection from Hermes there, that would stop anyone else from finding him there. Maybe he could at least pretend to think that, to excuse the fact that he hadn’t been thinking when he ran, when he ended up there. But even if there wasn’t the aftereffects of a god, the clearing was defensible, it was safe. Even if he climbed into the nest out of some foolish desire to feel safe , to feel comfort , he could easily leap to his feet before anyone got too close. 

His sword was at his side, easily accessible. He could easily defend himself. The moment he heard one noise that was out of place in the forest, he would be able to fight any threat off. 

It was defensible. It was safe. He let himself sit there, resting yet still held taut ready to spring into motion. 

But it wasn’t safe enough . 

It took him a second too long to process that the noise he heard was just a bird taking flight, he was perched up in a tree before his thoughts caught up to him. 

Maybe it was safer there anyways, though. He could get down easier than someone else could get up. He would see anyone coming before they saw him, if they thought to look up at all. The only thing that would make this position safer would be if he had a bow on him, but still-

He froze. His hand went to his blade. 

The air was heavy. 

His mind was racing. It was familiar, but he couldn’t immediately identify it. At least the air wasn’t salty, there wasn’t a head splitting pressure. It wasn’t an outright threat. 

It couldn’t be Hermes- he wouldn’t be hidden like this, he was too clingy. He might ambush Odysseus, sure, but only to try and clean his wings. 

Oh. 

At one time, it would have been his first thought. It would have been too familiar to even have him on edge. He let go of the hilt of his weapon. 

“Athena?” 

The world was quiet, and he took a breath. 

“Is there a reason you’re in a tree, Odysseus?”

He looked around, locking onto a spot on the branch of another tree close to where he was. She wasn’t visible, but he still forced himself to flash a smile. 

“Hey Athena. I figured it would be a more defensible position, is all. Strategy and all that.”

“Mmhm?” Her voice was incredulous, and he knew the way her eyebrow would be raised if he saw her face. 

“Safer than being on the ground, at least, if they decide to hunt me down after what I’ve said- did you hear what I said?” He didn’t know if he could take it if he had to explain everything a third time. 

There was motion, and in an instant a small owl had appeared and flown over to perch next to him. He reached out to scratch at its head without thinking, but stopped himself before his fingers grazed her feathers

“I heard you speaking with Eurylochus.”

Odysseus nodded. “I… I failed, many times over. I failed as your student. I’ve long since accepted that, but…”

“Odysseus.” Athena interrupted. Her grey eyes were piercing. “Take a moment. You’re not thinking .” 

He stilled. She hadn’t fully pulled him into quick thought- he wasn’t sure why, until he heard distant footsteps. 

His hand was back on the hilt of his sword. “Who-“

“He’s your friend, Odysseus. You and I need to talk, but right now, he asked me to help him find you because something was wrong, and he thought you might listen if I asked you to stay put.” The owl tilted her head. Odysseus knew Athena would be leaning in towards him to be at his height, head ever so slightly tilted- though not as noticeable as with the owl in front of him. Analytical. “Will you?”

He hesitated. But… as strained as things had gotten with Athena she still had been on his side. If things went south she’d be by his side again right? So…

“I mean I guess if you’re watching I’ll have to, huh.” He gave a wry smile. “Why not?”

The owl in front of him chirped. “You might want to get down from the tree.”

“I’d rather not. It’s more defensible up here.”

“If that’s what you want to tell yourself.” Athena said. “It’s going to be harder this way, you know. Not as much range of motion when you’re clinging to a branch so you don’t fall.”

Still, he stayed in the tree. Besides, someone was coming, and being caught while trying to climb down a tree would be worse than either being up in it or on the ground. He didn’t let himself react to Athena’s soft sigh- it wasn’t like she knew anything, anyways. He had changed, he wasn’t her student anymore, he wasn’t hers anymore. The change in his eye color proved as much. So did the fact that he no longer instinctively tried to reach out to her most times. Did she really not recognize that? She still kept showing up, as if he could remain her favored warrior of the mind despite how he’d changed. 

The footsteps that approached were light. Careful. There was no voice calling out, announcing that there was a search. The way he tread betrayed his caution. 

Odysseus knew Eurylochus well. Knew his habits, knew his footsteps. When Eurylochus slowly crept into the clearing, he was wary. He wasn’t showing any aggression, but the tension held in his limbs could easily spring into action if something happened. 

“Eury.” Odysseus forced himself to speak first. He held still as Eurylochus’s head snapped towards him. They locked eyes. 

“Ody.” Eurylochus spoke. His shoulders sagged. Odysseus prepared himself for hostility, prepared to feel the sting of anger and fear and righteous aggression to protect the crew from him. It never came, though, and even as Eurylochus drew closer, no weapon was drawn. 

Odysseus could say anything. He could try and claim that it was all a lie, a trick being played on them. He could look Eurylochus in the eyes and sharpen his silver tongue and let lies dance between them once more. Anything to stay alive and make it home. He should hatch some sort of plan, he should make up some reason for why he had to abandon all of them, why he never took a stand. 

“Ody… you’ve been missing more than half a day.” Eurylochus’s voice was soft. He stopped just shy of the bottom of the tree. 

“Don’t act like you don’t care about what I said.” Odysseus kept his voice cold, kept his face neutral. 

Eurylochus’s expression faltered. His voice lost some of the softness, though it still had no edge. “We can talk about that when you aren’t going to run.”

Odysseus flinched at that. “I have to get us home, Eurylochus. There’s no time for talking about things that will tear us apart.”

“Not talking about things is tearing us apart.” Eurylochus’s gaze was intense, and it took all Odysseus had not to turn away at that. 

Eurylochus sighed. Took a step back. “Please come down.”

Odysseus hesitated. He glanced over to Athena, still perched as an owl. She didn’t say anything. 

What choice did he have? He started to climb down, even as it exposed his back to Eurylochus. He was an easy target. 

“We were desperate. Most of the crew had lost hope. I kept claiming I’d get us home no matter the cost. Then I decided that the cost would be six men. I even told you to pass out the six torches, make it easier for the monster to pick out its targets in the dark strait. I tried to smear the blood on my hands onto you, too.”

His feet touched the ground. He stayed still, facing the tree. 

No blade pierced him. 

Odysseus turned to face Eurylochus, who was just watching him, expression torn. Odysseus could only look at his friend for so long before he lowered his gaze, just barely stopping the instinct to hide his eyes behind his wings entirely. 

And still, Eurylochus was silent. Odysseus couldn’t gauge his expression now- he couldn’t exactly glance back up at him, reveal just how much he cared about how Eurylochus reacted. 

Still, the longer the silence stretched on, the more restless Odysseus got. His wings twitched. 

“…Say something. Anything. I won’t run off again, just- something. ”

“Okay.”

Odysseus couldn’t help it when his eyes darted back to Eurylochus. His friend showed no anger, no threat. Just… worry. Wariness. 

When Eurylochus caught Odysseus’s eyes, he sighed. “I won’t pretend not to care about that. I’m your second in command, keeping the crew safe even when you apparently wouldn’t… that’s my job Ody, that’s the role you gave me.”

Odysseus flinched. “I know, I-“

“ But .” Eurylochus raised a hand. Reached out, across the strait that divided them. “They’re not in danger right now. It’s not going to happen again, is it?” He put his hand on Odysseus’s shoulder. 

Odysseus froze. Shook his head. “No, I- I’m getting us all home, I- I have to .”

“Stop.” Eurylochus sighed. “You may be the one who knows what lies ahead of us, what lies in between here and home, but you are not the only person capable of getting us home. This is a group effort, we’re a crew.” Eurylochus offered a faint, hesitant smile. “Share the burden. You don’t have to carry all the blame for what happens.”

Odysseus shook his head. “I have to get everyone home. I have to undo the pain I caused last time. I-“

“Ody.” Eurylochus’s hand moved from Odysseus’s shoulder to his arm, grabbing it lightly, with a tug. Not forceful, but enough to pull Odysseus closer, especially with how little he resisted it. Eurylochus took both Odysseus’s hands into his own.

“How in the gods names are you able to trust me now? When you know what I’ve done? Eury, I tried to force my way home with only my wit and everyone died for it. How can you-“

Odysseus froze as Eurylochus lunged towards him. He expected pain, expected a struggle. 

Eurylochus pulled Odysseus close, embracing him. He was careful to keep his arms above where Odysseus’s wings were, not to pin them. He held on tight, but not suffocatingly so. He had to bend forward just a bit to make up for being taller, and that made it seem almost as if he was curling around Odysseus protectively. 

“We can talk about everything else more later, but for now… You’re my friend. You’re hurting. Why in the gods names won’t you let me care ?”

Odysseus was stiff, arms held straight at his sides, eyes wide. “Eurylochus-“

“My job is to keep us all alive, to care for the crew. I want to care for the crew.” Eurylochus’s voice wavered. “You’re one of us too, Ody. And right now you’re the only person who’s hurting, who’s in danger. Please. You’re like the brother I could never do without.”

Odysseus slumped against Eurylochus, wrapping his arms around him. Holding on tight. 

“How much longer did you plan to go about like this, how much longer did you plan to let yourself suffer without trusting us to…” Eurylochus trailed off, only holding on to Odysseus tighter. 

“I’m tired my friend…” Odysseus only half realized that Eurylochus was the one keeping him standing at this point. “But we’re so close. I have to keep going, I can’t- I can’t stop now. I didn’t want anyone to know…”

“We can still get home. Me knowing won’t change that. We… we can talk about this another time, make plans. You can stop trying to come up with plans on your own.” Eurylochus was mumbling, barely audible. Likely trying to appease Odysseus, more than anything. Or… to soothe him. Maybe. 

Odysseus shouldn’t let Eurylochus this close. He knew what could happen- he still woke up expecting a roll of thunder every now and then, judgement for killing a cow. But he was tired, and everything was so heavy, and Eurylochus was there, holding him up. He had been pushing and pushing and Eurylochus was still there, and even after everything he was just a man and he wanted his friend.