Archive of Our Own ^beta

When the Transistor hit her, it didn't hurt, and in the split-second afterward, she felt nothing but relief—relief in the knowledge that Auden hadn't suffered. That relief was short-lived, however, replaced by fear as her vision went white and something tugged at her chest. Sensation receded from her hands and feet, moving toward that central spot, moving toward the Transistor itself.

She was being integrated.

A veil descended on her mind, muffling her thoughts as the Transistor drew her out of her body. Still, she held onto Auden's name, as a compass in the uncharted territory into which she was headed. Auden, she thought, as another veil came down, thicker than the last. I'll find you. Wait for me. Wait for me.

A final layer descended, and blocked out the whiteness around her with a soul-shuddering crash.

Her hearing returned first. There was a rustling sound, even, but not quite rhythmic, and the occasional trills of birds somewhere far away. Gradually, she became aware of a mixture of scents, earthy and organic, sharp and clear. A gentle breeze brushed her cheek and ruffled her hair, and something very grass-like tickled the back of her hand. She opened her eyes, in control of her body once more, and was met with an endless sea of blue and gold, and when she turned her head, she saw him. Auden, staring at her in what she could only describe as shock, tears streaming down his face. Realization dawned in his eyes, and his lips curved into a shaky smile as he tentatively reached for her.

"Hi," he said.

"Hey," she replied, because no other words would come. What could she say, when moments before she was struggling against the possibility of never seeing him again? What could she say when the last she'd seen of him was his cold and lifeless body in a cold and lifeless city? What could she say when just seeing him smile, just seeing him breathe filled her heart so completely that she felt it might burst? She'd made a living out of finding the right words for any situation, but for this situation, this singular, glorious moment, no words had ever been invented.

"You're here," Auden said. "Right?"

"I'm here." The words struck her with more force than the Transistor had, and her tears began to flow. "I'm here," she repeated, and grasped his hand in her own. It was warm, solid, real. He pulled her into his arms and held her tightly, and she gripped the back of his jacket—on his body again, as it should be—and surrendered herself to the emotions running through her. The fear and the anger and the uncertainty, the grief and the hopelessness and the resolve. And, finally, the relief of finding him once more, of feeling his body against hers, his hand stroking her hair, his heartbeat against her ear.

She sobbed, loudly and without shame, allowing her newly recovered voice to echo through the sapphire sky above and carry all of the hurt and fear within her away with it. As she cried, she felt the weight of those emotions leave her, and her legs weakened beneath her. Still in Auden's arms, she sank to the ground and he followed, murmuring his own relief into her hair and running a comforting hand up and down her back.

Yes, she was here. They were here. Together, at last.

"I thought I'd lost you for good," Auden said. He sat on the ground holding Red in his arms, her back against his chest. "I never made it into the Transistor properly, you know. I wasn't integrated like the others. But you... there was no reason you wouldn't be. So when you turned it on yourself, I thought—"

"I had to. How else was I going to find you? I had to try."

Auden sighed. "You had the canvas, and the brush. You could've made the world of your dreams."

"I didn't have you." Red looked up at him, fresh tears brimming over. "What good is the world of my dreams if you're not there?"

"Red..."

She reached up and cupped his cheek in her hand. "I mean it. Wherever we are now, whatever happens going forward, we're together, and that's all that matters."

His smile was soft as he leaned down and kissed her gently, the wheat whispering around them. She reciprocated, her tears hot along the breeze-cooled tracks of their predecessors. He broke the kiss and moved to her cheeks, kissing the tears from her face and whispering his love to her.

"Together," he breathed, wiping the last of her tears from the corner of her eye with his thumb. "It's a beautiful word, isn't it?"

"The most." She settled back in his arms and watched the clouds drift across the sky. She had no idea where they were, whether this was the fabled Country and whether anyone else she knew might be here, but those questions paled in comparison to the comfort she felt in the moment. The answers would come in time, she knew, and she had plenty of time on her side.

Plenty of time, and Auden.

She could not ask for more.