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Chapter Text

At sixty-four, Remus Lupin had made peace with many things.

He had come to terms with the pain in his knees. With the way his hands shook in the mornings. With the growing stiffness in his back after each full moon, and with the saddening fact that walking unaided for more than ten minutes felt like a challenge instead of something he should still be able to do.

He had also made peace with never really fitting into either the wixen or the muggle world. He hadn’t as a boy, nor as a young man, and he certainly didn’t know that he was in that awkward in-between space that lingered with both retirement and resignation.

But Remus had not made peace with Teddy and his endless prattling, which, even at 24 years of age, never bloody stopped.

“And there’s a trivia night, Da. It’s on Tuesdays! Victoire said Molly went once and hexed the quizmaster for getting a Gobstones fact wrong, which honestly just makes me more excited for the way you would rip them apart with your words if they …”

“Teddy,” Remus said, half-lifting his wand before he could think better of it. “I swear on the last tin of ginger biscuits that if you don’t stop talking for five consecutive minutes …”

“You’ll what?” Teddy asked, grinning as he levitated a box of Remus’s ancient journals onto the shelves. “Will you silence me? Muffllito me? You’ve been threatening to do that since I was six, and I still haven’t seen you follow through.”

“It’s because I’m too kind-hearted.”

“No, you’re just worried I’ll tell Molly on you and she won’t send you any more cakes cause she loves me,” Teddy bantered back with a happy smile on his face.

Remus muttered a soft Muffliato under his breath anyway, just to have a moment’s quiet while he looked around his new home.

The bungalow was … fine. It was warm enough with a charm-stabilised temperature. There was a Floo access in every room, and the hallway had been widened to accommodate his chair. It wasn’t his home, not yet. But it also didn’t ache with memories the way his old house did. It didn’t echo with Tonks’ laughter or the faint clatter of Teddy’s childhood footsteps. 

The bungalow was neutral. Plain. Quiet. Safe.

Teddy had insisted that Godric’s Glen Retirement Village was perfect for Remus now that he had moved out and in with his fiancée, Victorie Weasley. 

And maybe it was, with its adapted spaces, cheerful activity boards, and polite older witches who smiled like they were plotting something behind Remus’ back.

Remus had little interest in any of it and just wanted somewhere small where he would be left alone between visits from Teddy.

“I just don’t want you to be alone,” Teddy had said softly the night before the move. “You’ve been … alone … for too long, Da. Mum would have …”

“I know what your mum would’ve wanted,” Remus had interrupted his son gently. “But she’s not here. And I’m fine. I’ve always been fine.”

Except Remus wasn’t fine. Not really.

It had been fourteen years since Tonks died, and while the pain had dulled enough to have now woven itself into the fabric of his daily life, it never went away. He’d raised Teddy the best he could, pouring everything he had into making sure his son had the love and safety Remus had once lacked. And when Teddy had finally grown up, fallen in love and moved out … Remus had looked around and realised the only things left in his life were dust, quiet, and the wolf.

He hadn’t dated since Tonks’ death. Hadn’t wanted to. Not in any real kind of way. Tonks had been his everything. His partner, his friend, his only other joy apart from Teddy. What could possibly follow that?

Remus had had a few brief, unsatisfying nights, sure, when the loneliness had edged into restlessness. But no one had wanted to stay even the night. Not when he had Teddy to protect, and a body that didn’t heal the way it used to anymore, and a soul that still howled on the darkest nights, whether beast or man.

Which was why it had startled him, actually startled him, when he first met the man in the leather jacket with wind-mussed black hair that was peppered with grey and grease under his fingernails.

It happened on the third day after he moved in. Teddy had just left, with promises to come back next weekend, and Remus had finally finished with the last of the self-unpacking charm boxes. He was just about to settle into a well-earned wallow when he heard it:

A motorbike engine. It was loud, rumbling and absolutely out of place in a quiet retirement village.

There was a sudden bang, and a very posh and loud voice shouted, 

“Fucking pothole’s are still trying to eat my tyres. Thought I told you to fix that?”

Remus wheeled himself to his front window and looked out just in time to see a tall, wild-haired man in a black t-shirt and dragonhide jacket park a gleaming silver motorbike outside the adjacent bungalow.

The man hopped off, kicked his bike gently in affection and glanced around like he owned the place. Then, as if sensing Remus’s gaze, he looked up right at where Remus was watching him.

Their eyes met, and the man smiled at Remus.

Remus just sat there at his open window as the man’s smile widened. The man raised a hand in greeting. “New neighbour?”

Remus blinked at him before responding, “Obviously.”

“Sirius Black,” the man said as he sauntered closer to Remus’ open window with no respect for personal boundaries. “Garage owner. Part-time fixer of the enchanted plumbing here, and a Full-time disappointment to the people who run the place. Apparently, I stand out,” the now-named Sirius added with a wink as though it was a secret.

Remus’s mouth twitched as he fought to keep the smile off his face. “Really? I would have never been able to tell. You look as boring as I do. I’m Remus Lupin. Semi-retired editor, full-time werewolf and part-time curmudgeon,” he added quickly. He had learnt early on that there was no point trying to hide his lycanthropy from wix when he lived in close proximity to them, and he would rather face their prejudices before he got to know them than after.

Sirius just grinned, though; not an ounce of prejudice to be seen on him, it appeared. Instead there was something sharp and anticipatory in his smile. “Excellent. I love a man with bite.”

Remus stared at the man before him.“… Was that a pun?”

“Was it terrible?”

“Yes, very much so.”

“Brilliant!” Sirius replied cheerfully. “I think we’re going to get along great, Moony.”

“Moony?”

“Yeah. You’ve got a moon vibe about you for obvious reasons. ‘Remus’ is too stiff. Mr. Wolfy McWolf felt a little too on the nose.”

Remus sighed. “And Moony isn’t?”

“No, it’s poetic in a simple way. And it matches Padfoot, which is me. So now we’re a set.”

And just like that, without asking Remus if he wanted him to be, Sirius Black was a part of Remus’s life, and Remus had no idea what to do with that revelation.

Chapter Text

Apart from how handsome he was, the other thing Remus first noticed about Sirius Black was how loud he was.

Not in volume necessarily. But his very presence. He was loud in how he moved through a room like he’d always belonged there. Loud in how he gestured too broadly when he talked, and with how he laughed with his entire body and how he never seemed to second-guess himself.

It was unnerving for someone like Remus, and it was why Remus had been avoiding him for eight days straight. Which was quite frankly impressive considering they lived one bungalow apart from one another and Sirius had the terrible habit of showing up at Remus’s door “just in case you fancied a cuppa,” as if Remus hadn’t already closed the blinds and hexed the doorbell to explode as soon as he saw him leaving his bungalow.

Remus had enough on his plate without adding the charismatic and distracting Sirius Black to his life. His legs were already acting up post-moon. Teddy had enchanted his mail to read itself out loud every morning in increasingly dramatic accents, and he’d just started editing one of the most boring memoirs he had ever had the displeasure of working on from a former Gobstones champion who insisted on inserting his own footnotes mid-sentence.

Remus did not need nor want a charming, infuriating, far-too-attractive neighbour who smiled at him like they shared some kind of private joke and long-standing friendship.

He especially didn’t need whatever weird flutter had started in his chest every time Sirius called out his name.

Which is why he nearly cursed the Floo open when Teddy’s voice came shouting through it:

“DA.”

Remus pushed himself out of his chair and hobbled to the Floo Teddy was shouting from. “Yes, son?”

Teddy’s floating head appeared in the green flames, grinning at his father’s grumpiness. “Are you avoiding that hot mechanic again?” he asked without preamble.

“I’m not …” Remus rubbed his temples before glaring at his beloved only child. “He’s not …”

“Da, I have eyes. He’s gorgeous, even at your age. Plus, he brought you scones. Twice . And he fixed your chair’s hover charm when he saw me trying to do it the other day.”

“I didn’t ask him, or you, to.”

Teddy leaned forward, lowering his voice conspiratorially, even though the only other person who might possibly hear them was Victorie from Teddy's end of the connection. “I think you like him.”

“I don’t know him.”

“You don’t need to … oh wait, no, I see how it is. You do actually want to get to know him. That must be terrifying for you.”

“Who raised you?” Remus muttered at his son in exasperation. “You’ve become insufferable.”

“Maybe, but where do you think I learnt it, Da?” Teddy replied brightly,

“Either way, though, you haven’t dated anyone in fourteen years. It’s alright if you like him, Da,” Teddy added softly, trying to reassure his Da that he wouldn't mind if he wanted to date his handsome and fun neighbour.

Remus’s voice sharpened as he cut Teddy off. “I was busy raising you, and I don’t want to date anyone.”

“I’m twenty-four, Da. You did great, by the way. Gold star for your single-parent raising skills. Now, please, let him rail you into your mattress . You’re not dead and all my friends reckon you're fit, the weirdos.”

Remus reached for his wand and glared at Teddy. “I REGRET NOTHING,” Teddy yelled as he vanished when the Floo snapped closed.

Remus cursed the day he had ever taught Teddy snarkiness, and he cursed Tonks for their boys' helpful and yet infuriating nature.

That evening, Remus wheeled himself out into his back garden to clear his head. He hadn’t gone far before a familiar voice called out from the next bungalow over.

“Evening, Moony!”

Sirius was perched barefoot on a bench, rolling up his sleeves and waving a cigarette around like it was a wand. “Didn’t expect to see you out of hiding anytime soon,” he said cheerfully.

“I’m not hiding,” Remus replied quickly, lying through his teeth.

“You hexed my knock-a-charm into a small puff of glitter last week.”

“You deserved it,” Remus replied unrepentantly.

Sirius laughed out loud and easily at Remus’ quick rebuttal. “Fair, I often do deserve it.”

Remus exhaled slowly as he tried to control his thumping heart. “You’re always out here.”

“I like the quiet out here,” Sirius said. “Plus, my kitchen hates me.”

“Your kitchen hates you? Why?”

“For smoking in there, which is against the rules. Plus, I insulted the blender I’ve been tinkering with. It’s a whole story.”

Remus allowed himself a small smile at the sheer absurdity that was Sirius Black. “Is it ever not a whole story with you?”

Sirius shrugged with a slight smile on his face. “Depends on who’s asking and why.”

Sirius tapped the seat beside him. “Come and sit over here. Or float or hover over me menacingly. I’m not picky.”

Remus hesitated because this was the part that scared him and caused him to want to bolt back into his bungalow and hide for another 8 days. It wasn’t so much Sirius’s flirting or his maddening charm. It wasn’t even the attraction that had been humming quietly under Remus’s skin ever since he had first met Sirius. No, what scared him the most was how easy Sirius was making it for Remus to feel something again. Something warm. Something like possibilities he hadn’t entertained for over a decade.

He hadn’t felt like this since Tonks. He hadn’t allowed himself to.

But for some reason, with Sirius sitting there beside him, his hair mussed and a cigarette in hand, offering Remus nothing but a moment of his time, Remus found himself wanting more.

Sirius gently passed Remus a cup of tea, not saying anything as though he was aware that one wrong word would have Remus retreating again.

Remus took it gratefully, wrapping his hands around the warmth seeping out of the cup. “Thanks.”

The two of them sat in silence for a while, stars blinking above them, until Remus broke it. Asking Sirius if he had any family.

Sirius paused. His whole expression shifted to something Remus couldn’t quite read. It wasn’t closed off, not exactly, but it was a guarded expression nonetheless.

“A little,” Sirius eventually said. “It’s a small family, mind you, and I keep them safe from the rest of the world,” he admitted.

Remus nodded. “Sounds important. You must love your family a lot.”

“I do, he’s … I mean it's the most important thing in the world to me.”

Sirius didn’t elaborate, and Remus didn’t push him, either. He also didn’t mention the slip-up that Sirius unintentionally let out, though he couldn’t help but wonder who he was.

“Tea’s good,” was all Remus said instead.

Sirius smiled that soft smile that caused Remus to have bloody butterflies in his stomach, one more. “You’re not so scary when you’re relaxed, you know.”

Remus looked at Sirius in surprise. That wasn’t what he had expected the other man to say. “I’m not scary at all, just cantankerous in the way you are insufferable.”

“You’ve mentioned that about me before,” Sirius said, his tone conveying fondness. Remus couldn't understand how someone like Sirius could be fond of someone like himself, but he decided he may as well enjoy it while it lasted.

And for a moment, just a flicker of a moment, Remus allowed himself to imagine what it might be like to let someone into his life again. Not because he was lonely. But because he wanted to share something with someone once more. Something special.

Remus shoved the thought aside and sipped his tea, sitting in companionable silence beside Sirius.

The next day, the two of them found themselves at the café at the bottom of the hill.

The café was the kind of place that couldn’t decide if it wanted to be charming or if it was cursed. Remus was edging towards cursed.

However, the tea there was excellent, making sitting in the possibly cursed café worth it. The café's decor featured mismatched chairs, teacups that sometimes screamed if you added milk before the sugar, and a portrait of a banshee above the loo that wept loudly whenever someone ordered soup for some bizarre reason.

It was, naturally, the type of place that Sirius adored.

“Don’t get your hopes up, Moons. This is not a date,” Sirius said cheerfully as they arrived at the café. He held the door open so Remus could use the new and improved hover charm on his chair to get over the crooked front step.

“I never said it was,” Remus replied quickly as he loosened the woollen scarf around his neck.

“Good. I don’t do dates.”

Remus arched an eyebrow at that statement, having just been thrown out there. “Because you’re emotionally unavailable or because you act like you’re 15 years old?”

Sirius grinned at Remus. “Can’t it be both?”

Despite himself, Remus laughed at Sirius’ cheek. Which, he would later insist, was entirely Sirius’s fault.

They were led to a table near the window, the table enchanted to fit whatever size its patrons needed, so Remus didn’t have to worry about his chair fitting in comfortably. Sirius ordered “the mysterious lasagna,” and Remus opted for soup (just to spite the annoying portrait), and the two of them settled into what passed for quiet with Sirius Black there.

It wasn’t awkward. That was the most annoying part for Remus.

Sirius didn’t try to fill the silences that surrounded him; his mere presence did that for him. Instead, he just existed in them, comfortably, casually sipping his tea and tossing out the occasional story about his customers. The one he was sharing with Remus now was about a wizard who tried to bribe him with enchanted whisky to fix a car engine with a growth charm.

“Turned out the thing was hiding illegal puffskeins in the boot,” Sirius said between bites. “They got into the upholstery. I haven’t heard that many tiny sneezes in such quick succession since I lived with …”

Sirius stopped mid-sentence.

Remus glanced up at him, seeing the look of pain on Sirius’s face. “With?”

Sirius shrugged the question off casually. “Just an old roommate. It was a long time ago now. And just like that, all of the walls Sirius Black hid behind were back up once more, all but daring Remus to push the issue.

Remus recognised Sirius’ behaviour for what it was: deflection. Sirius’s eyes didn’t quite match the easy smile he now wore. And it struck Remus, not for the first time, that for all Sirius’s loudness and charm, there were parts of him that he kept locked up tight.

Still, Remus didn’t press the issue. He, of all people, understood having locked doors that led into the darker parts of one’s life.

Instead, Remus nodded to the faded photo pinned behind the café’s counter. It was one of Sirius and a boy, maybe ten or eleven, grinning in matching sunglasses with ice cream dripping down their chins.

“ He's yours?” Remus asked carefully.

Sirius followed his gaze. Something shifted in his face. He was wearing that look of guarded softness again. Something fierce and fleeting flitted across his expression before he hardened it again.

“I forgot that was there. It was when we visted Godric's Hollow. The wizarding town just up the road. It’s been there about 30 years now,” he admitted. “And yeah, he’s … he’s mine, yeah,” Sirius said after a short silence. “Well, sort of. He isn’t mine by blood, but … well, that never mattered to the two of us.”

Remus tilted his head, trying to understand all the things Sirius wasn’t telling him. “30 years? That’s a long time. Are you still close?”

“Yeah. We always will be,” Sirius said. “I raised him. He’s as much my son as I am his father, even if we never claimed one another like that. Anyway, enough about me. Tell me something shocking about you. Come on. A deep, dark secret, a hidden vice, anything. Come on,” Sirius said, changing the subject quickly. Even if he didn’t know who the boy was, at least he now understood who that HE was Sirius had let slip the night before.

Remus snorted. “I’m a retired editor with arthritis and trust issues. Oh, and a werewolf. No deep, dark secrets here.”

“So … what you're saying is you’re a catch?”

“More like a project.”

Sirius looked at Remus, his face now open and honest once more. “I like projects,” he mumbled.

Remus wasn’t quite sure if he was supposed to hear that or not, and so there was a moment when Remus forgot to be afraid of the way Sirius made him feel, and the space between them warmed just a little.

Remus sipped his tea, unsure of what to say. Sirius, for his part, just smiled at Remus, content to sit with him quietly.

And Remus thought, "No, this might not have been a date, but it was life-changing all the same."

Chapter Text

“Absolutely not.” Remus wheeled back from his doorway with his arms crossed tight over his chest, his breath all but refusing to come. “It’s far too dangerous, and I can’t exactly afford Wolfsbane Sirius!”

Sirius followed Remus inside regardless of the werewolves' apparent attempt to keep him out, letting the door shut behind them. “I’m not leaving!”

“You’re being ridiculous …”

“You’re being stupid,” Sirius countered. “And stubborn. And acting scared.”

“I should be scared. I don’t exactly want to rip you, or anyone, apart, Sirius.”

Sirius softened at the absolute terror in Remus’s voice. His own voice dropped to something quieter to match Remus’. “You don’t have to be. You, or any werewolf, won’t hurt me.”

That stopped Remus in his tracks, just for a moment. Even though he didn’t really have time to stop or argue with Sirius, Remus could feel the full moon was rising. He could feel it in every part of his body like a slow hum that was getting louder under his skin. The pre-transformation ache had begun hours ago, causing his body to already hurt. His hands had started their usual trembling, and the idea of Sirius seeing what he became, what the wolf did to Remus, turned his already unsettled stomach.

No one had ever seen him transform. He had always done it alone. He had never had any other choice than to turn alone out of necessity, safety and shame.

“You don’t know what it’s like,” Remus said, his voice tight. “You’ve never seen …”

“Yes, I have,” Sirius interrupted Remus quickly.

Remus frowned up at Sirius. “What?”

“I’ve seen someone transform before,” Sirius said softly, his eyes meeting Remus’s, showing his sincerity. “I’ve been with a werewolf before. I shared the full moon with them for the few months we were dating.”

There was a long silence after Sirius dropped THAT bombshell on Remus.

“… How?” Remus asked Sirius slowly, unable to believe his own ears. “How could you survive that?”

Sirius glanced away from Remus, biting his lip as though he was arguing with himself on whether to explain or not. And then, with a deep sigh, he blurted out, “Because I’m an Animagus.”

Remus stared at Sirius as though he had just grown another head right before his eyes. “I … what?”

Sirius smiled a little at Remus’ disbelief, relieved that there was someone outside of Harry and their small family that he could share this secret with. Everyone else who had known was now dead and long gone. I’m a big black dog. Think like a scruffy grim.”

“Are you … unregistered?” Remus asked in surprise

“Obviously. I used it when fighting in the war. It was a good secret to have when people are trying to kill you, and I wasn’t admitting it afterwards, considering I was only 21 when the war ended.”

“That’s illegal.”

“I know. Clever though, right?” Sirius offered with a wink. “I did it with two mates when we were in school. We managed it at 15 because we were young and clever and because we could.”

Remus didn’t know what to say. When his brain started working again, he turned his bright amber eyes on Sirius, impressed with him and his friends despite their stupidity in becoming animagus as teens.

“You … you willingly became an animagus, a ridiculously difficult and dangerous thing to become, just because you could?”

Sirius allowed a little of the pride and joy he had felt as he stood beside James and Peter that first time they turned into their animal selves to fill his voice now. “Yeah. My best friend wanted to, and he would have turned himself inside out if I had let him do it alone. Plus, we never did anything without each other, so illegal animagus we became illegal animagus together.”

There was something old and aching in the way Sirius mentioned his friends. Something Remus recognised.

“You talk like you lost him.”

“I did,” Sirius admitted quietly. “He and his wife. And most of the rest of the people I cared about, including my younger brother. I lost them all during the war. And after the war, it was just me and my boy.” He gave a faint shrug as though to dismiss the pain he had been carrying for decades. “They were my family. And when they were gone, I … did what I had to do. I carried on for their boy.”

Remus blinked. “Their boy?”

“Doesn’t matter,” Sirius said quickly before Remus could ask anything else. Even now, with Harry a grown man, Sirius was still overly protective of his godson’s privacy and protection.

But Remus knew that it did matter to Sirius. He could see the way Sirius’s face changed when he spoke of his lost loved ones. The way his voice cracked just a little, even now after all those years. Remus didn’t press, one because that wasn’t fair to Sirius, but two because he wouldn’t have the time, considering he could feel his shift getting closer and closer. He filed the new information away in the back of his mind, though, as things that Sirius tried to keep hidden slowly fell into place.

That photo behind the café. The kid in it looking at Sirius as though he hung the moon and the stars and the sun all in one. The careful way Sirius talked about his “family.” The war where everyone who was lost was honoured publicly. The war that had ended with Harry Potter as the sole survivor after his mother destroyed Voldemort in her bid to protect her only child.

Remus looked at Sirius now, really looked at him, and he could see the loneliness and the exhaustion that lurked behind his seemingly effortless charm. The pain that lived behind his bravado. And Remus could almost touch the moment where Sirius made the choice he had made so long ago, the choice to carry grief in silence to protect himself, but more importantly to protect the child that may not have been his blood, but who was every bit Sirius’ son as Teddy was Remus’.

“You really want to be there?” Remus finally asked Sirius after a beat. “With me as I transform?”

Sirius stepped forward and placed a hand gently on top of Remus’s. “Only if you want me to be. I don’t want to force you or make you uncomfortable, Remus. I just want to help,” Sirius said guilelessly.

Remus hesitated a moment before he nodded just once in agreement.

That night, as the moon rose silver over their bungalows, Sirius waited in Remus’ warded bedroom, already transformed into Padfoot as he sat beside the reinforced windows. He didn’t once flinch at the thought of being face to face with an adult werewolf. Remus felt his heart opening up to Sirius just that bit more with his loyalty and kindness.

Remus howled as soon as he was fully transformed. He then snarled as soon as he saw Padfoot.

But Padfoot stayed close to Moony. Steady and unafraid. Acting as a calming presence when Remus’s wolf tried to bait the dog into fighting.

Padfoot coaxed the wolf into playing and into understanding that he had a friend for the first time in his existence.

In the morning, when it was over, when Remus lay there trembling and exhausted but perfectly whole for the first time since he had been 5 years old, Sirius sat beside him, human again, holding a warm cup of tea in his hands until Remus was steady enough to hold it for himself.

“You stayed …” Remus managed to croak out in wonder.

“Of course I did,” Sirius replied simply as he just sat there, one knee drawn up as he watched the light return to Remus’s eyes.

“You’re insane,” Remus said with a surprised laugh.

“I am. And you’re beautiful,” Sirius replied.

Remus just stared at the man before him in disbelief, sure this couldn’t be real.

Sirius smiled at Remus then, a slow, honest and heart-stopping smile that had Remus all but ready to declare his undying devotion to this man.

Something that dug deeper into Remus’ lonely heart as Sirius whispered, “You don’t have to be alone anymore, Moony. I’m here now.”

And for the first time in far too long, Remus knew that to be true.

Chapter Text

It was a quiet morning after the full moon. The kind of quiet morning that Remus never thought he deserved, but one he was going to enjoy nevertheless.

Remus sat wrapped in a blanket at the table in his garden, cradling his cup of tea in trembling hands that had finally stopped aching enough for him to use them correctly. His muscles were still sore, of course, but none of his bones were broken. Short of a few small cuts and nicks, he didn’t have any injuries either, which felt like something of a miracle after 59 years of having to drag himself back together after every full moon.

Sirius had stayed the night before and helped Remus care for himself this morning. Now, he was curled up in a conjured armchair pulled up to Remus’ table, where they ate the breakfast Sirius had made for them both.

After a few moments of quiet when their meal was finished, Sirius had gone still in a certain way that meant he had something serious on his mind.

Remus had learnt the signs by now. Sirius was loud when he was uncomfortable, but he was all but silent when he was afraid of being vulnerable, of exposing something he kept hidden deep inside of himself.

Remus waited, not wanting to push. If Sirius wanted to tell him, he would, and if he didn’t, it didn’t matter, considering how Remus now admitted he felt about the other man.

“I don’t talk about him,” Sirius finally said as he watched the horizon instead of looking at Remus. “Not much. In fact, outside of a few select people, no one even knows I raised him or what happened to him, but you were vulnerable and trusting with me last night, and I feel you should know about him. He is the only thing I haven’t really told you about. ”

Remus sipped his tea before looking over at Sirius gently. “You don’t have to tell me anything. I’m not entitled to whatever you keep to yourself, Sirius,” he said as he gently reached out and clasped Sirius’ hand in his own.

Remus saw as Sirius took a deep breath before he smiled at Remus sadly as he clasped his hand in return. “I raised Harry Potter,” Sirius admitted as though it wasn’t something Remus had already figured out with the titbits Sirius had let drop.

Sirius continued, unable to stop now that he had started. “ My Harry … well, I changed his name when he was a baby after all that. I didn’t want the entire world chasing after him, turning him into a symbol before he was even talking, especially when he didn’t do anything but survive. Not that I’m not grateful for that every day of our lives, of course. But Harry was a baby. Whatever destroyed that bastard was all down to Lily. You would have liked her, I think …” Sirius said as he blinked tears out of his eyes. He didn’t talk to anyone but Harry about the boys' parents, about Sirius’ lost family. “So I made him a Black to keep him safe. He obviously knows he is a Potter; I’d never have hidden that from him, but I felt like I had to hide him. And so I did. I hid him and myself, and then I raised him as though he were my own. He may as well have been anyway. Lily … Lily used to joke that Harry was lucky because he managed to get two dads, and she hadn’t even divorced the first one yet. She was funny like that. Said something about muggle humour us stuffy pure-bloods wouldn’t understand especially considering me and James had no idea what a divorce was at the time,” Sirius added with a sad sort of chuckle, one that allowed a few of the tears he had held back for decades to fall down his face as he spoke about those long ago and cherished moments he had with James and Lily before they were taken from him and Harry.

Remus looked at Sirius, but Sirius wasn’t looking at him. Instead, Sirius was looking away, far off as though it wasn’t just the memory of beings taken much too soon and much too young that he could see, but actually them, alive and before him. Remus could almost feel Sirius’ ardent wish that that was so, even whilst he knew it was not and never had been possible once Death had claimed the two of them.

“Harry was only 18 months old when it all happened. He was a baby,” Sirius murmured. “And I was ... twenty. It was actually my 21st birthday a few days later, after they died. Something I had forgotten all about until I found my presents in their wreck of a house,” Sirius choked out between the tears that were now freely falling down his face. I was shell-shocked to say the least. Covered in their blood and the only one alive to carry the grief of an entire group of kids who had perished because a madman thought he was better than brilliant witches like Lily Potter. I lost James and Lily. Peter, the rat bastard. Marlene, Dorcas, Benjy, Gideon, Fabian, Frank, Alice, and so many others that even now, 40 years later, their names and their much too young faces swirl before my eyes whenever I close them, whenever I get to be happy. Whenever I reach a milestone they never had and never will. The war ended for the rest of the wizarding world, and yet Harry and I were forced to pick up the pieces of our broken hearts and shattered souls, and were expected to be alright now. To get over it. To move one,” Sirius added with a bitter laugh before it settled into a more even tone, one full of love and adoration for the child he raised, no questions asked. The child who was the last of his family, the last thing he had that reminded the world that James and Lily Potter had lived. That they had fought and that they had left a mark on this world, even if the rest of the world never realised, because Sirius Black knew. Sirius understood what they had done, what they had sacrificed, and the two broken people they had left behind.

Sirius took a deep breath before continuing. “I looked at Harry, that accursed scar on his forehead, and his eyes wide and beseeching as he asked for his mum and dad, and I knew that no matter what, he would never be alone, and I would never allow anyone else to hurt him. Be it another person or the wizarding world at large. I barely knew what I was doing. We had gone from three adults raising one baby to just me, who was full of grief and anger, but it didn’t matter because it was us. Me and him. The last two of our family left.”

Remus could barely breathe from the ache that was clear in Sirius’s voice. Remus, too, had lost. He had lost the love of his life 14 years ago, but unlike Sirius, he had other people to support him. To help him raise Teddy, to watch him and join in with Remus’ jubilation at each of their milestones. It didn’t appear that Sirius even had that. “When you say it was just you and Harry?” he asked carefully.

“I mean that until he was 9 and started going to Kiddy Quidditch class, we had nothing to do with any witches or wizards. I made us disappear so entirely that even Albus Dumbledore himself couldn’t find us. There was no one else. My birth parents died before the war ended, and I wouldn’t have let them around Harry if it was the last thing I ever did. Lily’s parents died in a car crash, and James’ parents died of Dragon Pox a few months before Harry was born, and Death Eaters murdered everyone else we loved. So yeah, it was just me and Haz. We lived in a small house in Devon. It was quiet and hidden. I did whatever work I could get, considering I used forged documents. I worked in a garage here, doing a hex-removal job here and there. We spent a few years selling and growing fruits and veg. I became the local handyman, helping to build and repair things for a fair price. I had to lie about us constantly, and I would do it all over again because he would have been chewed up and spat at if the whole world knew that Harry Potter “The-Boy-Who-Lived” was still alive. So I kept him as much a secret as possible and I kept him safe!” Sirius finished, almost gasping for air as he poured out all of his secrets into the softness of Remus’ garden.

Remus’ heart ached for Sirius. To fight that hard, to do that much and to have to do it alone. It also showed him how deeply loyal and protective Sirius was of those he considered his own. He imagined that loyalty would have left a large ball of guilt clouding his life, even now that he was a grown man with a fully grown son. “That’s why you’re so guarded about anything personal. About your life, about Harry?”

Sirius finally looked at Remus before nodding. “Yeah. He’s my everything; he has been since he was 18 months old. And now he’s a grown man. A married man with two kids and a husband of his own. And I still feel like he’s my little boy. Like he’s the only thing I’ve ever done right in my life.”

Remus couldn’t stop the soft smile that crossed his face at Sirius’ confession, even if he wanted to. That Sirius loved with his whole being was so clear that he poured his entire sense of self into loving his people, and Remus hoped he, too, could one day be included in that number. It no longer mattered that he was still frightened or that this appeared to have moved absurdly fast. Remus knew what he liked, and he liked Sirius Black more than he was ready to admit at the moment. “You must be very proud of him,” Remus said when the silence between them stretched a little too long.

“Oh, extremely. He’s clever, thoughtful, sassy as shit and he loves my grand kids with so much devotion it puts mine for him to shame,” Sirius answered.

Remus absolutely did not believe that. If Sirius’ grandkids had a grandfather like him and a father like Harry seemed to be, well, they were luckier than most children in this world ever got to be. “Does he know?” Remus suddenly asked. “Harry, does he know how hard it was for you? How much you gave up? How much you lost and carried on to see him grow into the healthy adult he seems to be?”

Sirius shook his head. “He has never needed to know. He knows we lost his parents. That it was just the two of us for the longest time. But no, I mean, I think he gets it now as a parent, but it isn’t something I need to explain to him. After all, he was and will never be a burden; he’s just my Harry.”

And Remus thought that for Sirius, it really was that simple. He had done what he must, and he had endured what had to be endured to keep the only other member of his family alive and well. Remus was in awe at the selflessness of the man before him.

There was another pause before Sirius broke it, this time with a cheeky smile. “Guess where I got the glitter bombs that exploded during Bingo last week?”

Remus smiled back and allowed Sirius to hide back under his happy and prankster mask, knowing that exposing all his hurts must have felt raw and bitter. “I knew it was you. I told Teddy that it had to do with you!” Remus said back with a laugh.

“I had to. My son-in-law just created them. They're glitter bombs that explode with a password so you don’t get caught glitter-handed. It's a Classic Fred and George product,” Sirius smiled.

“Fred and George? Weasley?” Remus asked, his eyes suddenly wide as he looked at Sirius once more.

“Yeah, Harry married George. It was the Weasleys we met at the Quidditch classes, and Harry and Ron took a liking to one another. And then, after they were a bit more grown up, Harry and George took a different kind of liking to one another,” Sirius laughed until he trailed off when he saw the look on Remus’ face. “What’s wrong?”

“Nothing’s wrong. It's just … Teddy is engaged to a Weasley,” Remus admitted.

“He is? Which one?” Sirius asked. His eyebrows scrunched up. There hadn’t been any engagement announcements for a while now.

“I don’t know if it's common knowledge yet. They got engaged before they moved in together, and I, well, I moved here when Teddy moved out. He is going to marry Victoire Weasley,” Remus explained.

“How long have they known one another?” Sirius asked, trying to imagine what kind of man Victorie would fall in love with. Whilst she had only a small amount of Veela in her, she was fiery and as devoted to her loved ones as any Weasley had ever been. Teddy was a lucky man.

“They went to Hogwarts together. Started dating in their last year. So 7 ish years?”

Sirius felt his jaw almost drop open. “How the hell have we not met before now?”

Remus let out a stunned laugh, wondering the same thing. “We’ve been at the same parties and weddings and everything.”

“I mean, I glamoured Harry and stayed hidden during the parties. And the Weasleys always have such large parties cause there are so many of them, I guess we just kept passing one another?”

“I’ve missed most of them because of either working or the full moons. Teddy went to most of them, though.”

They looked at each other in surprise. Two men who had been circling the same family they were just on the outskirts of for years, always just missing one another, always just outside of one another’s reach.

Remus’s voice dropped to something akin to a whisper as he leaned in closer to Sirius. “Do you think this was … supposed to happen now? Us meeting now instead of then?”

Sirius reached out and brushed his fingers lightly against Remus’s knee. “Maybe we weren’t ready then. But maybe we can be ready now?” he asked with a softness Remus hadn’t heard from him before.

Remus gently pulled Sirius’s hand into his own and kissed the back of it gently, watching as Sirius’s eyes widened. “Maybe we are. I think I am,” Remus admitted.

“I think I am, too,” Sirius agreed, his smile lighting up his face and brightening his eyes.

Remus couldn’t believe the whirlwind that had happened to him in the last few weeks. Still, he thanked God and Merlin and any other deity or being out there that Sirius Black had decided to waltz himself into Remus’ life because Remus was adamant he was never letting him walk out of it again.