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Chapter Text

Lily Evans was a dreamer. 

The crisp smell of the sea haunted her. She had never been to the ocean, as she was never allowed to leave the walls and venture beyond the city. Yet she'd always had the same, looping, vigorous, recurring vision. Vivid images of waves crashing before her and shells collected in colours she’d never even imagined. When she was young and her hair grew out in violent orange curls that stuck out at all ends, she’d startle in fear at what she once considered a nightmare. But as she grew, as she read and discovered what this place that she’d conjured up in her mind was, she came to like it. Blue bodies of water and gulls flying so high above her head they looked like floating white specks. She’d wake and feel empty, trying to fall back asleep in order to reach this place once again. 

An age ago, she’d told her older sister about the dream. However in response she only received an eyeroll and a scoff,

“Bullshit. A place like that doesn’t exist. Stop reading those fairytales and join us here in the real world.” Petunia would mock. As her sister grew into adulthood, she sounded more and more like their parents. They’d shut her down and replace her books with a mop or a broom,

“Our only dream is to help those who need it most.” Her mother chirped, and as her schedule became full with shifts in public service and hours spent dedicated to the factionless, Lily forgot herself between the stream of fears and dreams for her future.

The Abnegation faction believes in selflessness, in a world where everyone acts solely to benefit others. They put their trust in the system and in their leader Lyall Lupin who takes charge of all 5 factions, continuing to preach this mindset in the hope that they’ll reach those from other factions. Yet Lily had always felt dishonest when she agreed with her parents, like a rock was slowly sinking to the bottom of her stomach the more she discussed the topic. She didn’t know what she believed, but the more she spent dedicating her time to the factionless the more she realised that the act of complete selflessness was achieving a whole lot of nothing.

“If it gets any hotter out here I might have to take a hat for myself.” Lily muttered quietly, gesturing towards the basket of clothing they were handing out to the factionless, who sat dimly on the side street before them. A teasing grin spread across her freckled cheeks as she turned to her friend, who only raised an eyebrow in return.

“If the supervisor hears you, you’ll end up sitting over there with them.”

“Oh, come on Sev, lighten up.” She slapped his arm playfully, “Seriously though, I can already feel the sun frying my skin. I wouldn’t be surprised if you start to smell it soon.” This earnt a snarky eye roll in return. Her friendship with Severus Snape had been rocky over the years, but as the aptitude test, which would be the decider of their whole future, inevitably came closer so did they. However, their humor was strikingly opposite.

“You’re so dramatic.” He answered thickly, avoiding eye contact with all the rugged people who thanked them graciously for their contributions. 

“Looking at them won’t kill you, you know.” Lily stated matter-of-factly, passing the last of the shoes to a small girl who looked barely 12 before collecting the empty basket. Her chest clenched as she watched her sprint back to her father, who sat cross-legged on the sidewalk. He was completely disinterested in her, fiddling with the loose material on his ripped shorts. That girl had never even been given a chance. Born into the factionless society, her fate was decided the moment she took her first breath. How could a selfless community ignore-

“They could be diseased.” Severus squirmed, turning away with the empty basket and making his way back to the path which would lead them home. Lily only murmured in response, lingering for a few moments before following him.

The day before the aptitude test was like any other. Volunteers slaving away in what most hoped were tasks that made their city a better place. The night before the aptitude test, however, was a flurry of anticipation and nerves. Petunia had her Aptitude test and Choosing ceremony two years ago, deciding to stay. Although Lily believed that Petunia had directly ignored her test results in order to stay within the comforts of her family, Lily would not succumb to the same fears. She had no idea what she’d get in her own results, but whatever it was she prayed to any being who would listen that it would reveal who she really was, because she personally had no idea. Was she kind or honest like Amity or Candor? Was she smart or considerate like Erudite or Abnegation? Or was she fearless, like Dauntless? She wished, in some mixed and magical alternate reality, that she could be all of them. 

______________________________________________________________________

James Potter was a twat. 

Or a swine, or a fool, or… or…. Ah, he’d forgotten that last one again. There were too many things to remember this close to the aptitude test. The final full day of his childhood had been well spent, graciously allowing Peter to assist him in some much needed idiocy before he committed to life as a fully grown adult. He’d promised himself, as soon as he moved to Abnegation that he’d stop completely and claim the life of a good honest lad who only wanted the best for others. But he couldn’t lie to himself and pretend he didn’t find soaking the inside of Marlene’s shoes in honey and then watching her shriek in horror when her toes became sticky, the most enjoyable thing he’d witnessed all year, apart from his birthday of course, which was always a spectacle. 

James Potter, the disaster! James potter, the thickest skull in Candor! He was collecting profanity like the Amity collected their strawberries during harvest. Though most would find it disheartening, it kept James alive. He’d deeply miss it when he moved. He had known he wanted to become Abnegation from when he was much younger. His father, Monty, always the enlightening one out of his two parents, had always talked down on those in the selfless faction. He claimed that their methods of leading were concerningly naive. However his mother, Effie, was always delighted when James talked about his infatuation with the faction. She was one of the only people in his life who knew about this side of him, the side in which he cared so deeply about every little aspect that it ate away at his soul if he thought for too long. To her, he was her James, always the lighthearted, always the optimist. He loved who he was in his mothers eyes and he’d give anything to be fully immersed within that version of himself.

Now, James was never one to go into any situation fully blind with nothing but instinct to guide him, but this time that was exactly what he was doing. He stood in line before the large building in which the aptitude tests were being held, observing each faction as they interacted together, some for the first time. Marlene and Peter, the friends he’d had since before the beginning of time itself, stood only a few spots away from him. As he made eye contact with Marlene, she gave him a brief wink and mouthed silently;

“I bet you’re really pissing yourself now, hey Potter?” With a glint of mischief in her eye. Her focus was drawn away shortly after when Peter tugged on her sleeve to mutter something in her ear. His gaze shifted to the crowd, then singled out two individuals who looked almost identical. If it weren’t for the difference in hair length, he wouldn’t have been able to tell at all. They wore dark blue Erudite suits with faded blue shirts beneath, and seemed to be half way through a heated discussion that was most likely meant to be had privately. The loud one, who had the long, black shoulder-length hair, was gesturing quite wildly with his arms. The other, who’s hair was trimmed rather violently just below his jaw, had his nose scrunched and his fists clenched by his sides in retaliation. The crowd around them began to part, all watching nervously as the two fought in a language that James didn’t know. 

“Sale petit traître, as-tu parlé de ce fantasme à maman?” The boy with the short hair exclaimed,

You dirty little traitor, have you told mother about this fantasy?

“En quoi cela la regarde-t-il, ou vous, d'ailleurs ? Je peux faire ce que je veux de ma vie.”

What business is it of hers, or yours, for that matter? I can do what I like with my life.

“Vers qui irais-tu sans ta famille? Nous n'avons personne d'autre que nous-mêmes.”

Who will you go to without your family? We have no one but each other.

“J'ai l'intention de trouver une nouvelle famille. Ce n'est pas mon problème si tu as refusé de

 me rejoindre.”

I plan to find a new family. It is not my problem that you’ve refused to join me.

The two of them were face to face as the boy with the longer hair spoke . At that moment, James stepped forward to intervene before the situation got any more heated. As he did, he took in the two faces of which he realised were actually quite different once you got closer. The boy with the shorter hair had flickering silver eyes, which bore into James’ skin. However, the boy with the longer hair had eyes so startlingly similar, yet different all the same, that James almost had to double take. This boy's eyes were a shade darker than his brothers, filled with the rage of storm clouds which threatened to thunder. 

“Okay, let’s break it up now before this gets out of hand...” James announced himself by spreading his arms between the two who were face to face just moments ago. 

“This is not your concern.” The silver-eyed boy spat venomously towards James, keeping his eyes on the brother.

“I know, but if someone throws a punch it becomes everyone's concern, so I’m just-”

“Stepping in? My, what a good samaritan. Somebody get this man a medallion!” The stormy-eyed boy responded humorously, taking in James’s full appearance as he turned away from his brother. His voice was a tone deeper than his brothers, the lines in his face set harsher, too, as if there were secrets behind his eyes that no one else could fathom. The crowd that had formed muffled laughs as James rubbed the back of his neck.

“I just want what's best for everyone.” He said it as more of a question than a statement, maintaining eye contact with the boy.

“Well, Reg here doesn’t. Do you?” He spun quickly, presenting his brother to the crowd as they listened intensely at what he’d say next. “My dear brother here would rather I stayed in the dungeons than spread my wings in the Dauntless confines.” He made a great show of spinning around slowly, involving the whole crowd in this conversation. And they reacted just as he commanded.

“Dungeons?” James heard Peter question from behind him, clearly intrigued.

“Erudite, dungeon. Potato, Pot-ah-to.” He shrugged.

“You can’t just insult your entire faction, Sirius. As-tu honte?”

Have you any shame?
The brother, ‘Reg’, responded snarkily, again with that language James was unfamiliar with. Sirius spun directly towards his brother, so close they were almost nose to nose.

“They’ll only be my faction for one more day.” As he spoke this, the entrance to the tall building opened and names began being called from the giant front double doors. 

Chapter Text

Lily was nervous.

Well, no. She was riddled with anxiety, or anticipation or a mix of the two and maybe a few other simmering inconspicuous emotions, but she wasn't truly fearful. 

Lily actually didn’t know what she felt. She was sitting in the silent waiting room as if her and those around her were all about to undergo life altering surgeries and these could possibly be their last moments alive. She sat on her hands to avoid rhythmically tapping the bottom of her seat due to countless dirty looks, her heart skipping a beat every time a door opened and the next person was called through. The room was small, dim and dull. Lily could smell the stench of body odour circling the poorly ventilated room, feeling the thump of a headache rising as the thick stink blocked up her airways.

“Lily Evans.” A voice called, making her jump. She was unprepared, tensing and untensing her shoulders as she made her way into the much larger, well lit room. The walls were covered in mirrors, allowing Lily to see herself more clearly than she had in a long time. As a member of Abnegation, she was entitled to only 1 minute a day to look in the mirror as it encouraged selflessness. Now, as she walked cautiously into the room, she stared into her green eyes like she was seeing them for the first time. 

“My name is Frank. I’ll be your tester today. Please take a seat when you’re ready.” He said tiredly. He had been doing this with dozens of others all day, and she could tell he was becoming bored. She began tapping on her knees, sitting on the seat, unsure. Beside her was a large table, atop it sat a computer. These computers were often donated by the council, and so this one looked rough around the edges. Beside that was a keyboard, missing two keys, and a tray with two needles. One, blue and shiny. The other, orange and a little menacing.

The man came towards her with the large needle, filled with the blue liquid that shone lightly with the reflection of the light. Lily clenched her fists, her heart hammering.

“What is that?” She asked urgently as he came closer. He paused, taking in her expression.

“Don’t worry, Lily. This will allow you to enter the simulation. Once you’re in there, it’ll feel real but trust that nothing can hurt you. Just follow your natural instincts and everything will be fine.” He explained, listing off each sentence like he’d memorised a rule book. Lily pressed her back against the chair, trying to relax her muscles. She watched his every motion instinctively, the lines of exhaustion which twitched on his face, the freckle beneath his left eyebrow, which raised once he realised she was staring. He connected three circular devices to her forehead and temples, one on each side and one in the middle. This must have synced her with that computer.

“What’s the orange one for?” She averted her gaze to the second needle on the tray, attempting to buy herself some time as he approached.

“Trust me, nothing bad will happen to you.” Without warning, he stuck the needle in Lily’s neck and she gripped the bottom of the chair, spiralling out of this universe and into the next as her eyes drifted closed.

When she opened them again, she was in the same room. 

‘Slightly underwhelming, maybe it didn’t work?’ she thought. However, when she looked around she realised that the rickety computer, table and tray were all missing. She stood, apprehensively, from her seat and walked slowly towards a mirror on the wall opposite to the exit door. She placed her fingers delicately over the mirror, tracing the shapes of her face like she never had the time to do at her house back in Abnegation. 

Suddenly, the mirror began to ripple and fold, as if it had turned to water. Lily jumped back and stood beside her seat, her heart leaping from her throat as a man walked through the wall and into the room. Not just any man.

“Mr. Lupin?” She questioned, her face hardening together in confusion as he lifted his arm in a gentle wave. She hadn’t been in his presence for almost two years, since she last saw his son. They had a service duty together and spent the whole afternoon washing towels in a bucket until their hands were raw. However, Lupin Senior didn’t approve of their friendship, as Lily’s father had been suspended from work at the time. A disgrace upon the Evans name would not infect the Lupin name, by extension. She was forbidden from seeing her friend for a whole year until he ended up moving factions just a year before her own test, essentially. Now, she had no clue where that boy was.

“Ah, Lily Evans. How good it is to see you.” He grinned, uncharacteristically. It was almost eerie, how wrong the simulation formed his personality. She didn’t respond.

How good is it to see me? Last time you saw me, you banished me from your property. She thought, holding onto the brace of the chair as if it were her life support.

“Nevertheless, I am requiring you to stay here for the foreseeable future..” He ordered, continuing to speak as if she had answered the first time. 

“I have forgotten the documents we require for our meeting in my office. Let me fetch them. Do not move, I’ll return in a moment.” With a curt nod, he disappeared back through the mirror and Lily stood, shell shocked, still beside her chair. She almost felt like sitting, to take the weight off of her trembling legs. Though she was slightly concerned and confused, she wasn’t afraid. Was her shaking limbs a reaction to the serum? Why was her body pooling with a cold sweat? It was making this process entirely uncomfortable. Moments later, the ripples returned and Lily expected to see Lupin Senior once more. However, it wasn’t him. Not at all.

A face, young and spritely, framed with bouncing blonde hair and kind eyes popped through the barrier of reflection, causing the mirror to wrinkle at every movement like she’d thrown a pebble into a lake that was so still it reflected the sky. Lily noticed the face instantly, it belonged to the factionless girl she’d seen only yesterday, who had taken a clothing item over to show her absent-minded father. 

“Oh, hello miss! Please, miss, won’t you come with me? I’ve got something to show you, something excellent!” The young girl exclaimed, she beckoned Lily over with such enthusiasm that she almost felt bad. 

“What’s your name?” Lily asked tentatively.

“Tabitha, miss. Oh please, I promise it’ll be worth your while, miss!”

I was told to stay here . She thought, What will happen if I leave? But as Lily looked into the girl's eyes, all hopeful and endearing, she couldn’t resist. How many times had this girl been let down in her life, when would she get the chance again to show someone something that she had found which was so exciting?

Lily paced over cautiously, “Okay.” She nodded, taking the girl's gentle hands. Frank had promised her that nothing bad would happen. Yet, she was immediately pulled through the mirror and it felt like air slamming against her face. She had been tipped to the side and then upside down, and was now free falling through the clouds. The whip of her ginger hair against her skin blinded her. Instantly, she thought of Tabitha. She clawed her hair away from her face, an almost impossible task as she was spinning violently through the air like she’d been catapulted. She tried shouting, but the wind drowned out any attempt. On the hundredth attempt to clear her eyesight, she noticed something weighing down on her. Her heart plummeted through her stomach faster than she was currently plummeting to her death which was certain moments before now.

A parachute bag, clipped to her shoulders and around her waist. Before she could instinctively pull the pin, she saw a glimpse of the little girl falling through the air beside her, mere meters away. Lily called out, but with no response, the girl had obviously lost consciousness. 

This isn’t real.’Her conscience hit her like a brick to the forehead. Lily spun her body horizontally and began using a swimming motion through the air, cutting towards the girl. This was the stupidest thing she’d ever done, and she felt like a fool, yet it was working and she was getting closer. Wait till she told Sev about this.

“Tabitha!” She yelled once she reached the girl, grabbing her shoulders so tightly she feared she may break them off her brittle body. Tabitha had opened her eyes and at the sight of her surroundings, began wailing. Lily realised, with much disdain, that she had no parachute. To save both herself and this girl, she’d need to hold onto this screeching child for dear life while simultaneously pulling the pin on this parachute before they hit the ground and turn into paste.

“Am I going to die?” Tabitha clawed at Lily’s throat and shoulders, trying to stay attached. 

“Not if you hold onto me!” Lily yelled this directly into the girl's ear. She had no time for thoughts about death now, only preserving life. Once she was satisfied about how tightly Tabitha was holding on, almost cutting the circulation from Lily’s bloodstream altogether, she let one hand go from supporting her back and pulled the pin. The thrill in her chest continued as they reached the ground, all in one piece. They landed right beside a flowing river, and the vast plains of grass before them went on and on endlessly like they were in an enormously oversized Amity pasture. When she turned to detach the parachute, it was gone, as was the girl.

“Tabitha?” She called, spinning 360 and taking in her surroundings. Some test. Where the hell was she now?

“Little miss..” Lily jumped in fright, how had she not realised she wasn’t alone? The man that stood before her was… Grizzly. That was the only word Lily could come up with at that moment. His hair was greasy and pasty, he wore old clothes covered in muck which stunk up all areas within a 10 metre radius, and had a gnarly scar running down his throat. He also, inconveniently, had a gun. A big one.

“Err.. Yes?” Little miss? Who do you think you are?

“I’ve been looking for my daughter, blonde, about yey’ height.” He gestured to his hip height. Lily paused and looked the man up and down. If he was implying that he was Tabitha's father, he couldn’t be more wrong. Tabitha's father was thin and wiry, too far off in his mind to recognise reality.

“What’s her name?” She asked, the man paused.

“The one of which you were calling out, earlier.” He had a strange accent, where he drawled his vowels and made his words sloppy.

“What is it?” She asked again, placing a hand on her hip.

“I know it.”

“ Do you ?” He stalked forward, pointing a rotten finger in Lily’s face as fire crackled behind his eyes.

“Listen here, girly. I don't know what game you’re-”

“I’m sorry sir, but I don’t know which girl you’re referring to. Maybe you can print some fliers with her name on it and hand them out to the people you see.” She made a great deal of shading her eyes and looking around at the vast emptiness that surrounded them.

if this was real, he could easily kill me right now. She thought, grimacing at the idea. The man straightened, cleared his throat and itched his groin. Lily averted her gaze, feeling bile rise in her throat.

Mistake! Her conscience screamed, just in time as the man raised and aimed his gun. Lily leapt out the way the moment he fired, collapsing beside the river in the dirt. She scrambled away, but wasn’t fast enough as the man approached. Hearing him grunt, she squeezed her eyes shut to prepare for what was next. However, she only felt the steel cap of a boot against her ribs, tipping her into the rushing river below her. Tumbling through the current, she broke through the surface gasping for air and found she was sitting back in the room, on her chair where she started.

Chapter Text

“So… What did I get?” 

“God, do you ever shut up, boy?” 

“I was just wondering, since it’s your job, and all.” 

“Well you can wait five minutes like everyone else.” 

“I’m just anxious! I’ve always wanted-”

“Yes, yes, to be a stiff. It’s your calling, you were born for it. I heard you the first seventy times.” The lady with the piercingly grey eyes danced her fingers gracefully across the keyboard, tapping in numbers and what not. James was only partly freaked out about the similarity she shared with the two twin looking boys he’d met only an hour or so earlier. Her nose was a straight slope, eyes large and daring. Her hair was dark as the night, wild and tangled like she’d never learnt what a brush was. However, she was Dauntless, so maybe that made a bit of sense.

A flash of colour reflected on her face as the computer screen lit up, with what seemed to be James’s results. This was it, this moment would be the decider of his whole future and life as an adult. He crossed his fingers, and toes for good measure. The woman, who’d introduced herself as Bella after James had asked her for the fourth time in the first ten minutes, cracked her red painted lips into a devious smirk. James felt the bottom of his stomach drop.

“Well, boy, looks like your daydreams of sweeping gutters and feeding the homeless were for nothing.”

“What?” James leapt upright, gripping the edge of the chair

“You’re a cold-blooded, blood sucking, murderous little Dauntless.” She cackled manically, as a cold sweat appeared on James’s forehead. This wasn’t possible.

“Ohhh, yes.” She grinned as if reading his thoughts, “You listen to orders. You go for the weapon, despite not using it…” She glanced at him with a gaze full of judgement, “You lie when you need to, despite being raised Candor, and last but not least…” She drum-rolled against her thighs with nails shaped like claws. He almost thought she might stab herself with them if she held them at the wrong angle.

“You went out of your way to protect the kid. And you did it strategically.” She finished with a nod, acting like she’d just read him like an open book. James couldn’t remember most of the test now that the serum had worn off. It was a haze of stammered heartbeats and nerves, but he knew he’d made choices he was proud of. This didn’t make any sense.

“However..” She closed the screen of the computer, turning her body towards him. “You could always… abandon your results and join your desired faction anyway. Just know that I’ll remember.” Bella laughed again, reaching for the orange needle and jabbing it around at him playfully, tossing it back onto the tray without another thought.

James remained in place, staring at his own reflection in the mirror. What the hell, man? What was he supposed to do now? They weren’t supposed to tell anyone their results, but he felt the urge deep within his bones to consult his mother. Out of everyone, she would know. How could she not?

“Hurry up, four eyes!” she hissed, snapping him out of his daze. “I’ve other people to tend to.”

Tend to? More like traumatise. James picked himself up and dragged his feet all the way out the back door. As he closed it, he turned to the left to see that a girl had exited at the same time that he had. She stood, one hand on her heart, eyes wide. Maybe she’d fallen into a similar situation as him. He watched her cautiously, wondering if she’d noticed him yet. Their eyes met, and hers softened, a small smile painting her lips. She had vibrant hair like a flower in bloom during spring, and freckles that reminded him of the speckles on wild bird eggs that he’d read about in a picture book when he was young. One glance from metres away and he could see the green in her eyes, twinkling with courage and behind that, fear. Just as he opened his mouth to speak, she took off down the hall towards the exit.

He didn’t mean to follow her, there was only one way out of the building, but as she reached the door that led them outside, she was lost within the currents of hundreds of other teenagers who had just completed their tests. Some were tucked beneath the arm of a friend while they cried. Others were celebrating with their childhood faction one last time before they left tomorrow. James elbowed his way through the crowd, only slightly taller than everyone else. Yet, he still couldn’t see the girl. He thought for sure that her hair would be a giveaway of her position, but it turns out she moved so quickly she could be across the other side of the city before James freed himself from this nightmare. 

He dodged a swinging arm, the owner too busy throwing himself around and cheering obnoxiously. 

“I knew it, of course I would be-”

“It’s just unfair! How can they expect us to-”

“What do you think that serum was made of? It looked pretty sketchy-”

“I wasn’t even worried. Were you?”

“I might be having an allergic reaction, do you think if i go back in…”

James screamed internally. This was hell. He held his glasses on as he pushed through two people going in for a hug. He’d apologise later, if he ever saw them again. Once he’d made his way to an area where people were more dispersed among picnic tables and waiting areas, attempting to find ways home, James found an empty patch and sat cross legged in the grass. Only moments later, someone grabbed him from behind.

“Oi, alright mate?” The supermodel looking boy from earlier, with eyes as rough as a storm, collapsed beside James with as much dramatics as he could summon.

“Hello-” He began, only to realise he was out-extroverted in his own game.

“How’d you go? I knew from the second I saw ya’, we’d be mates.” He elbowed James rough against the shoulder, a teasing grin setting on his face.

“I went… Unexpectedly. I thought I’d get a different result.” He said, lacking enthusiasm for almost the first time in his life.

“But you’re a Dauntless, right?” The boy raised an eyebrow, pulling a cigarette from thin air, a lighter, too.

“You can’t have those… How did you know that?” James leaned back slightly, taking in the boy's face from afar with astonishment. 

“I didn’t know, I sort of just hoped you were. I am too, so it’s great! We can stick together.”

Stick together? He sounded like a schoolgirl. But who was James to judge?

“Yeah… alright.” The truth was, James wasn’t even sure he’d pick Dauntless. Not fully, anyway. Once he spoke with his mum, he would know. Then, for sure, he could be friends with this boy.

“What’s your name?” James asked, finally. Usually he was on to this stuff by now. He’d know every little detail about the last year of a person's life before he’d even introduced himself. Today was different.

“Sirius. And you are?”

“James!!” A voice from within the crowd called desperately, and then emerged at the outskirts with red cheeks and furrowed brows. Marlene reached them, putting herself back together gracefully and flattening the streaks of blonde hair that shot out where she’d been knocked about in the crowd.

“Who’s this, Jamie?”

“Err, Sirius. We’re friends now.” James turned to the boy, who was beaming. He nodded, shooting out his hand at Marlene, who looked at it curiously. Still, she shook it.

“Marlene. An Erudite boy? Where are you heading then?” She looked into his dark eyes and he could tell by her expression that she noticed the same as he did about them.

“We’re not really supposed to tell anyone…” James tried, but Sirius had already begun talking and even knowing him for barely three minutes and he already knew there was no point trying to stop it.

“Dauntless. I’m getting as far away from my old faction as fast as I can. My brother thinks otherwise. I’m pretty sure he’s going to stay with my parents, god knows why.”

“Well, I guess I’ll be seeing you there then.” She winked, and James felt slightly relieved at the thought. Already, he had two friends and he hadn’t even moved factions yet. That’s two more than most people start with. Not that making friends was ever a problem for James, it’s just that he never thought he’d have nothing to go on when it came to making decisions about his faction. He knew lots about many factions, but Dauntless was the one that he knew least about. He knew they protected the city, that they could fight, that they were all things military. But, he never needed to research them, because he never thought he’d be one of them.

“That makes three of us…” James murmured, earning Marlene’s expression to deepen in confusion even more than he thought possible.

“What about Abnegation? Making the world a better place? All that shi- stuff.” She corrected just in time - what a save by the way, James almost didn’t notice - then crouched on the other side of James, noting that Sirius was now listening intently.

Thanks for putting me on the spot. 

“I… don’t know. Apparently I’m Dauntless. I can’t argue with the results.” he shrugged, almost like he was giving up. And James Potter didn’t give up.

“Ever thought about just joining Abnegation anyway?”

“What good would that do? Maybe I’d be bored in a year. Maybe I’d realise it’s not for me, and by then it’ll be too late.” He spoke, eyes on the grass as he ripped it up from the dirt. James had a feeling that this would be the start of a long, extensive process of doubt. And he wasn’t exactly thrilled.

________________

Lily sat pressing her hands against her heated cheeks, hoping this would somehow cool them down. The sun was beating down on her from all angles, there was nowhere for miles that wasn’t swarming with people from all factions and there was no way - in eternity - that Lily Evans would be caught sulking in public.

 She didn’t mind people seeing the tears, it was the snot that bothered her. Lily had never been a pretty crier, and so far she had kept this information under wraps. She crouched behind the bins right beside her house, knowing that nobody should be home for around 40 minutes, but just in case she remained somewhere hidden. 

When she woke from the serum-dream, it was like spots of darkness were swimming around in her eyes. She had to rub them numerous times to be able to see clearly, but before then, Frank was cluttering around whispering strange things with a wild look in his eye.

“What? What’s going on?” Lily had asked desperately, catching Frank by the sleeve.

“Go, you need to go, now.” He said urgently through tight teeth,

“I don’t understand, what was my result?”

He paused, searching her face for something she was unaware of. He knelt beside her chair slowly, taking her hand in his.

“Dauntless. And… Erudite.. And Candor.”

“Wh-”

“It’s called Divergence. And it’s looked down upon, highly. It’s a death sentence, Lily.” He looked at her like he knew of all the horrors, of all the people lost.

“Why? Why do they-”

“It’s threatening to them. You’re a loose cannon, you mix factions, you’re unsafe.” Frank helped her up, leading her to the door. “You can’t tell a soul. I mean it, you tell someone and you and that person will be dead. Lily, do you understand? They will kill you, all of you.” He stammered, hand on the door handle.

“Wait, Frank please. What am I supposed to do tomorrow? What if they find out?”

“Choose the one that you’re drawn to the most-”

“Frank, I’m scared.” Lily placed a hand on her heart, feeling it hammering swiftly in her chest. Careful, you might lose it . Her conscience bickered with itself as she focused on Frank's panicked face.

“Don’t tell anyone.” He murmured, pushing her out the door, “Don’t!” He managed louder, before closing it as casually as he could.

Now, Lily was pressed beside the bin, flies buzzing around her head like the thoughts that were currently buzzing through her mind. Dauntless, Erudite and Candor? Three. That was so incredibly unhelpful. The whole point of the Aptitude Test was so that someone could understand what type of person they were. And now, fantastically, Lily had to be a Divergent. Since when did this exist? She had thought when Frank had dramatically flailed around as if there was a bomb threat within the building. Lily expected this to be some new thing - discovered just for her so that she could suffer more when trying to choose the path for her life. She could be dead within the next two days if she wasn’t careful. What was it that Frank had said? Tell someone, death. Choose the wrong faction, death? Oh, how wonderful! Why doesn’t someone just get it over with now while they’re all still sane?

However, she was actually quite thrilled with the choices. Candor - Hilarious and almost the opposite qualities of Abnegation. Erudite - Exciting, lots of opportunities there, however she couldn’t fathom disappointing her family quite so much. Can you imagine? Joining the one faction that was currently trying to oppose Lyall Lupin's power? Alternatively, Dauntless - Thrilling, something she’d only thought about very distantly before. But, Lily had wanted to help people. And she had heard that they allow tattoos for free, which was a big seller. Also, out of Erudite who could probably sniff out a Divergent before she even stepped foot within the compound, and Candor, who are the founders of the one and only truth serum, Dauntless was somehow the safest option.

Lily paused to wipe her eyes before standing, and just as she did she heard the front door open and shut around the front of the building. She took a deep breath, brushing off any gravel stuck on her large grey lump of a dress, and paced to the front. Once she entered, she immediately realised she should have waited longer.

“Oh, dear, you’re back early! Are you alright? Did you not want to stay and celebrate with your friends?”

What friends? “I’m feeling ill. Might be a reaction to the serum.” Lily faked a dizzy spell, using the wall to guide her. 

“Mm, you do look rather pale. Sickly, even.” She fawned, placing the back of her hand on Lily’s forehead.

“Don’t you worry. I’ll be better after a lie down.” Lily walked towards the hall before any more questions were asked, feigning ignorance when her mother called after her one last time.

Later that night, Lily could feel all eyes on her at the dinner table. Her mother ate slowly, watching her daughter closely. Her father didn’t eat at all, picking at his nails appeared to be more interesting. Her sister, however, had never been more quiet in her life. In a way, Lily knew Petunia had figured out she wasn’t choosing Abnegation tomorrow. Most had, even Sev knew.

Ah, shit. I forgot to find Severus after the test. I might not be able to see him before tomorrow. Lily realised with dread, she’d have to wake early tomorrow in hopes to catch him.

“You know, whatever happens tomorrow we’re a family. Family comes first.” Her mother made direct eye contact, taking a bite of food after speaking this rather harshly into the silent, candle lit dining room. Her father cleared his throat now, sitting up straighter. Oh, here we go.

“You know, when I was a lad I was unsure too, but it’s always the best decision to choose your family. It’s safe, it’s where you’re protected.” He said to nobody in particular, looking around the room as if nothing had prompted this insightful piece of information from him all of a sudden. Petunia stayed uncharacteristically silent.

“It’ll be an interesting day.” Lily mumbled quietly, eating her meal as if this wasn’t her last with her family. She wondered if every other person her age was imagining this. This was it, the last night of their childhood. After this, they would enter their new faction, complete training, find a job and become a new member of the society. 

Everything about the last seventeen years of their lives would become irrelevant, and Lily was counting every hour, minute and second until this was her reality.

Chapter Text

“Promise that you won’t forget me!”

“I won’t.”

“And always remember that my family is yours! If you ever need anything that is.”

“I will.”

“And don’t forget to press your shirt before you leave, it looks crinkled at the back.”

“Okay, Lily.”

“And Sev?”

“Yes..?”

“I’ll miss you.” She pulled the boy, only a sliver shorter than she was, into a firm embrace. It wasn’t every day that you realised you’d never be seeing a person again. Someone you’d spent your whole life with, from diapers, to education, and now the choosing ceremony. Something pulled at the strings in Lily’s heart, tangling them in a very unhelpful way that made her eyes swell with tears.

“I’ll miss you.” He said back, muffled into her voluminous hair. She swallowed the urge to cry and pulled away. The sun was cracking over the horizon and Lily needed to be home and ready before anyone had noticed she’d left. With one more glance and an awkward wave at the scrawny boy she’d known forever, but almost didn’t recognize, she crawled back through his bedroom window hoping nobody could hear her bare feet hitting the ground. He only lived three houses down, but still the distance felt like an eternity in the morning's silence. Each house in Abnegation looked the same with the same layout to prevent jealousy. The streets would get you confused if you hadn’t spent your whole life memorising them. Lily stared at the lines of each home around her, the front door sandwiched between two windows, the front porch decorated in varying pot plants, a stepping stone path leading to the main road that connected every house to the other. Though the colours were grey, beige and simple, the memories here were not.

She made it into her room only moments before her mother knocked. 

“Just dressing.” She called, 

“Okay.. be down soon.” her mother sounded tired. Defeated, almost. Like she knew what the day would bring, how events were about to unfold. Lily hated that they knew, it made her feel like she was doing something wrong, stripping them of something that they were owed. But this moment, her future, belonged to her. She wasn’t about to give that up so that her family were satisfied. 

She trudged down the stairs, slip-on shoes keeping the warmth around her feet. Once she reached the bottom, she noticed the eerie silence that followed. Her father watched sullenly as she approached the dining table. Lily held her breath as she sat. This, she could tell, would be the hardest ten minutes of her life. They ate in silence, exchanging glances that were filled with hundreds, if not thousands of words that they would never dare to speak aloud.

I’m going to miss you so hard it hurts to breathe.

The air will become dull without the presence of your spirit.

My shoulders will always feel cold with the absence of your last hug.

Every time I eat at this table I will see this chair and think of the last morning I saw you sitting in it.

And yes, these thoughts might have all come from Lily’s head, but she’d like to believe that this is what her family was thinking as they sat there, the slant of morning sun streaking through the curtain cracked windows, watching her for the last time. It wasn’t like she was dying, but Lily didn’t know why her chest ached when she saw Petunia wipe her nose on her sleeve. She was uncertain why her mother looked at her in a way that she never had. Acceptance, perhaps? If she was really lucky.

“I love you.” Lily spoke at last, placing the spoon and her empty bowl beside the kitchen sink. Nobody replied, but they all smiled in a way that made Lily feel like she might be choosing the wrong decision. Her family were judgemental, territorial, and they terrorised her with expectations, but they were her family. She had never known anything else. What if the real world was something Lily had never been prepared for, something she’d never experienced outside of her Abnegations cocoon? 

She bit her tongue as she reached for the front door handle, turning it for the last time.

__________

James had not slept the whole night. 

By the time he woke, the sun was blaring into his window. On the fourth floor of one of the Candor apartment buildings, the Potter family scrambled around to prepare for their final morning together. Effie and Monty had accepted from a very early age that James wouldn’t be home forever, they just didn’t know that he’d put a stopper to his original plan of becoming Abnegations next big thing. He almost hadn’t told his mother, purely out of fear about how she’d respond. He knew she’d be mad at him for telling her, and then confused on how on earth he’d managed to get Dauntless out of all the results. 

However, she spoke gently while telling him “I trust you, and whatever decision you make,” stroking his hair as the fireplace lit their apartment. James knew that eventually she would come around and accept the fact that he’d choose Dauntless over Abnegation, but nothing was stopping her from trying to talk him back into that Abnegation pipe dream that he’d held on to for the best part of seventeen years. He didn’t speak about it any further, he had already said enough.

It was two hours before the ceremony and James watched his parents prepare breakfast. He watched the way his fathers fingers shook as he held the pot full of water, placing each egg that he intended to boil delicately. James had known that he was born later than many other kids his age. His parents had lost many children before him and by the time James came along his mother was forty years old. 

“My miracle.” She had called him when he took his first steps, “My Jamie.” She had laughed when he licked the cake batter right off the spoon. This year she’d be 57, his father 58. And it’s not as if they were old old, it just burnt the edges of James’s soul a little to know he’d have to leave them. Effie pulled the toast from the toaster and lathered it in butter on the counter, the smell filling the air so thickly it coated his throat. They ate together and talked, wildly, about memories of James’s childhood.

“Your little finger got caught in the elevator door and you were terrified of them ever since.” His father teased, poking his shoulder with the opposite end of his fork.

“It’s not funny! My pinky is still bent from that.” James pouted, holding up his right hand. “Don’t think it ever healed right.” he said to himself. His mother reached across and tipped the remains of the bacon onto his plate, resting her head in his palms.

“My boy, my Jamie.” She said fondly. Her dark eyes were filled to the brim with an intoxicating love, James couldn’t look away. “Will you be okay wearing new material from another faction? What if it irritates your skin?” She took his hand gently.

“He’ll survive. I’m sure he’ll even learn to make his own clothes over in the slums, a real seamstress.” His father stood, and James and his mother shared a guilty look. His father ruffled his curls as he walked past. Speaking of his hair, it took him a good thirty-five minutes trying to tame those beasts this morning and now Monty had gone and mucked it up. Still, he leaned into the embrace.

“Be ready in five, okay? We don’t want to be late.” he spoke, turning away from the two who remained at the table. Still, James could pick up on the emotions in his fathers voice. He was trying not to cry, as they all would be shortly. His mothers grip on his hand tightened, before letting go and following her husband towards the kitchen. He was left alone at the table, listening to the short, sharp sniffles that came from behind him.

He’d miss this place dearly, walls covered in photographs and windows so big they could see a whole half of the city. James had never experienced grief, but this is for sure what it had to feel like. A miserable tear dripped down his cheek and with it followed a dread James had been ignoring for a long time. He balled his hands into fists, breathing deeply, before standing.

“Ready, Jamie?” His mothers voice called from the front room. He spun a full three-sixty degrees, taking in the home he had grown up in, before following her to the front door where his father stood. Monty fiddled with his jacket, opening the door and holding it for him.

“Thanks, dad.” James stepped out, leaning for a hug the moment his father had closed and locked the door. Monty didn’t let go for several moments, and soon he felt the warmth of his mother from behind. He was enveloped in a full on love-sandwich, pressed between the two people who had brought him to life and simultaneously made it worth living. There were no words nor atoms in the world that could explain the love James had for his parents. As he hugged them for the last time, he memorised their scent, the way his mothers fingers brushed up and down and up and down his back, the way his fathers breath hitched in sadness. He didn’t know it yet, but this piece of James would always be missing from this day and onwards.

They had made it to their seat in the large, filled auditorium. People from all factions sat in their sections. Bright blocks of color, that turned out to be peoples clothing as James got closer, distinguished where a faction was sitting. Candor, white. Abnegation, Grey. Dauntless, Black. Amity, Yellow. Erudite, Blue. James took a daring glance at what would become his new faction. They looked wild, jumping over seats from row to row in order to speak to each other. Black tattoos crawled over their skin and piercings stuck out from all angles. In a way, James admired it. Those tattoos and piercings must have caused a lot of pain all for self expression, he only wished he could have that same courage. His mother rubbed his arm as she walked past towards their seats, his father following. 

Before he turned, he locked eyes with her. The green captivated him the moment he saw them, shimmering like a fourleaf clover in a patch of nature. She tucked a strand of curly hair behind her ear, seeming to notice him noticing her. She looked left, then back to James, before raising a narrow eyebrow. Even from here, he could see the trail of freckles over her nose. He had never seen someone so… enchanting.

Just as quickly as he’d seen her did she turn and leave, finding her family amongst the crowd and taking a seat. He did as well, apparently, because he was now sitting beside his mother even though he couldn’t remember moving. The tips of his fingers had gone numb. Strangely enough, he remembered a similar feeling the first time he’d seen her after the Aptitude test but he thought it was just a reaction to the serum.

He felt a tap at the shoulder, spinning quickly to see Peter sitting a row behind, and a row behind Pete was Marlene who smiled proudly.

“Hiya Pete, you ready?” James’s legs were jittery, bouncing around in place.

“Nervous.” The blonde boy responded, clasping his red hands together in his lap. James nodded his greetings to the boy's parents before seeking eye contact with Marlene. She leaned over Pete, even though she knew he had a weird thing about personal space.

“How many times did you wet yourself this morning, Jamie?” She teased, earning a few side eyes from eavesdroppers. 

“Just about none, but I bet you can’t say the same.”

“Packed some fresh knickers just in case you need them.” She winked. The lights around the auditorium dimmed, signalling the crowd to hush and take their seats.

“See you in a minute, Potter.” She grinned widely, all teeth showing before leaning back. James had only a split second to register Peter’s expression before his father tugged his sleeve and he faced forward. Pete had looked… Jealous. James had never seen that look in his friend's eye before, an unmistakable fire that pierced the back of his head as he felt his friends stare.

The spotlight switched on and at that same moment, James’s heart skipped a beat.

Chapter Text

“Lily Evans.” The name was called loud and clear, however the owner had obviously hesitated and there was an awkward skip of silence over the crowd as this girl, Lily, took her time to stand. She had bright orange hair and was wearing those awful grey tunics that the Abnegation dressed themselves in. 

In Erudite, the blue wasn’t exactly perfect for Sirius’s complexion, but he made it work. Soon, he’d be in his element. Black, tight fitted vests and tattoos so vast they covered the majority of a person's skin. He couldn’t wait a minute longer. Every time he saw a Dauntless walk by him in the past, he felt like gripping them by the shoulders and telling them I'm one of you ! 

The aptitude tester he’d been with had told him as soon as he woke from the serum that he was born and bred for Dauntless. Which wasn’t entirely true, considering his whole family line was actually born and bred for Erudite, but it was about time a bloke broke the tradition. Bella and Andy, his cousins who he’d only ever met properly twice, had left for Dauntless the second they had the opportunity. Bella, who didn’t leave by choice according to her parents, had joined Dauntless as… well in simplest terms, a spy. And though none of the other factions knew, lest they start a war, it was quite obvious that she didn't get a Dauntless result in her aptitude test. She was brittle, bones and brain. She had a snappy mouth with nothing to back up her sly comments but a sharp glare. However, as Sirius looked at her sitting in the second row of the Dauntless section in the auditorium, he noticed how she’d bulked up heavily and now had a piercing that shot straight through her eyebrow. Anything like that back home would get her beaten to a stream of blood against the carpet.

Andy, though. Now she was a puzzle. Sirius had spoken to her the most out of the three sisters, always a teaser, but she was gentle. That was uncommon for a Black, but Andy was kind and had the patience of a saint. She had left on purpose. Her result was truthfully Dauntless, except only Sirius and Reg knew out of everyone in the family, as they had overheard her talking about it with a boy that she’d sneak off with to the outskirts of town just before their ceremony. Now, as Sirius shifted his gaze to Andy who sat in the fifth row of the Dauntless section, he felt his gut twist. Her fate would become his. Cut off completely from his family, his brother, all because he didn’t choose Erudite as planned. Bellatrix was the only person from the family who could successfully contact the family while being involved with a different faction, as the Erudite leader required monthly meetings to report any notable behaviour from within the Dauntless confines.

Andy’s curly hair shimmered with caramel highlights as she spun her head to mutter something into a friend's ear. This friend, who Sirius could very easily take a photograph of and frame it in his bedroom, muttered something back. Suddenly, both pairs of eyes were on him. He felt his heart swim to the entrance of his throat and sit there, suffocating. On one hand, he was currently risking his own behind by making any sort of communication with an abandoned family member. On the other, this friend's face could have been crafted by Aphrodite herself. An ancient sculpture capturing every crevice. His stomach fluttered when her friend’s mouth turned up at the side. What had they been feeding this man? His hair was a wild chestnut brown, hazel eyes that were illegally beautiful, and strangely, a scar that ran across his nose and right cheek. God, it was like he was pulled straight out of a novel.

“Lily Evans..?” The announcer called a second time, but the ginger haired girl was already trudging down the stairs. Only a dozen people had been so far in this faction and they still had all of Candor and Erudite to go until they could leave. Lily made it to the stage and stumbled slightly at the steps, glancing warily back in the direction of her faction, presumably at her family. The tradition was to take the knife, slice it enough across your palm that it draws blood, and let that blood drip into the bowl of the faction you intend to join. The bowls were filled with different resources based on the qualities of the faction. Smooth grey stones for Abnegation, soil for Amity, glass shards for Candor, burning coals for Dauntless, and water for Erudite.

Lily hovered her palm over the Erudite bowl. No, save yourself. Don’t come here. Sirius thought to himself. At the last second before her blood dripped, she whipped her arm over the Dauntless bowl and her blood sizzled in the black coals below. Brave choice . He thought again, sitting on his hands to stop from fiddling. Regulus gave him a knowing look, tracing circles on the back of his hand to distract himself. Sirius was older, by seven blissful minutes, and obviously took the majority of the brains as well. Regulus had always been a pet to his parents. Do this and say this or they’ll come after you, Sirius! Don’t say that or they’ll find out Sirius, they always find out! He was a worry wort, and it infected Sirius, too. Apart from the worrying, though, Regulus was a right brat. A moody, prissy little kid who always tried to beat Sirius. At school, when doing chores, when impressing their parents, it was exhausting. And the most annoying thing was that Reg always seemed to find a way to get ahead. So, Sirius gave up, and it worked well enough to be dragged behind in the mud and dust. Until now, that is. Sirius couldn’t wait to leave.

Soon, he had managed to zone out enough to get through the last of Abnegation and now the dregs of Candor were finishing. One person from Candor that Sirius had met yesterday at the aptitude testing, Marlene, sat in the seats kept spare for newbies in the Dauntless section.

“James Potter.” They called his friend's name and the boy walked the stairs elegantly, fists clenched with nerves. He was quite lucky to have met James when he did, otherwise he’d be alone. It’s never good to be alone, otherwise others will think it’s easy to pick you off. And Sirius was not going to be that person, who chooses a faction for the wrong reasons and finds themselves at the bottom of the food chain before the end of the first week. He needed a group to get him across the finish line.

James ran a hand through his hair and took the knife, looking up at his parents. He looked, to the knife, then to the bowls, then back to his parents again. Jeez, such dramatics. Guess he didn’t tell them about his change of career path. He hovers his arm over the Dauntless bowl and watches it drip miserably into the coals, finding a seat next to Marlene.

“Peter Pettigrew.” This boy, he hadn’t seen, but knew by the way James sat up straighter that he was somehow important. Sirius paid attention to Pettigrew's uncertain stance once he reached the stage. He’d obviously left his choice right up until the last second, but something filtered through his expression before he grabbed the knife and dripped his blood into the Dauntless bowl. That was rather unexpected, on Sirius’s part. The boy was stubby and short, with sandy blond hair that stuck to his forehead. Didn’t look like the athletic type, but Sirius wasn’t one to judge considering his own stingy appearance. That will soon change. He told himself.

James’s eyes were wide and confused, as was Marlenes. Looks like they didn’t expect it either. Three in a row to Dauntless was quite unusual, however no one else from Candor has joined Dauntless so it was a fitting ending to their section.

Finally, it was Erudites turn. There were only three Erudite kids old enough for the choosing ceremony this year. Sirius, Regulus and a girl called Emmeline that they’d never been allowed to speak to. The role was alphabetical. Sirius held his breath.

“Sirius Black.” He felt a grip on his wrist, his mothers sharp claw-like nails dug into his skin with the strength of an eagle's talons as he stood. She gave him a look that said a thousand words with one blink.

Don’t embarrass me like you’ve always done.

Don’t make the mistake your cousin did.

Be very careful with what you do next.

When she let go, he almost ran down the stairs. The mild pause had drawn some eyes, who watched as Sirius rubbed the marks on his arms left by his mother. Once he got to the light of the stage, he noticed that she’d managed to draw blood. Funny, she’ll find a way to cover this, too . He laughed to himself while watching the microscopic stream of blood dribble down his elbow. For a laugh, he held his elbow over the Dauntless bowl and watched the blood she’d drawn by her own hand sink into the coals, all while staring her down with a grin bigger than he ever thought he could manage. Then, for good measure, he took the knife to his palm and watched the small stream drip into the black cinders. 

The room was awfully silent as he made his way to his seat next to the Pettigrew boy. He could feel people from many factions burning their eyes into his skull, but he only held his palm tightly with a cloth that his new faction gave him all while keeping his eyes turned down. Someone slapped his shoulder, and another muttered a welcoming tune into his ear but his head was spinning and his heart was rocketing so fast he could barely understand what she said.

“Regulus Black.” The announcer called, almost hesitant herself. Sirius watched his baby brother walk down the stairs with grace and honour, as he was taught. He watched as his brother nodded his head with greeting to the Erudite leader, Tom Riddle, as he’d been taught. He watched as Reg took the knife cutting delicately in a spot where the scar would be least visible, as he’d been taught. And finally, Regulus held his palm over the Erudite bowl and watched as his blood splashed into the water like red ink. Sirius felt sick, but there was nothing that could be done. He let his eyes fall away from Regulus as he sat in the Erudite section and the only thing that flickered across Sirius’s mind was Thank god that’s not me .

I’m free. He felt his eyes swell but blinked back the emotion, a smile pushing its way through his inner torment. The last person chose their faction, and soon after the final speech, the whole room was ecstatic with uproarious cheer.

And Sirius didn’t look back.

Chapter Text

At first, Lily was underwhelmed.

The hundreds and hundreds of Dauntless who had come to watch the ceremony had begun exiting the building in what you’d call, compared to the normal Dauntless standard, a calm fashion. With a few hoots and cheers, the group made their way through the empty streets of the city and began their climb to the train station above them. Sure, Lily had never climbed a building before, but climbing the metal pillars was basically like climbing a ladder. As they reached the top, she was ecstatic and so were the others around her. It was a great start, especially since she hadn’t made a fool of herself yet. She drummed her hands against her thighs, awaiting their next move, but the Dauntless leaders stood firm at the edge of the building near the train tracks.

Lily heard whispers of “what now?”, “What are we waiting for?”, from other new members of the faction when suddenly they all felt silent at the rattling that shook up through their feet to their knees. The train was approaching at an unsettling speed considering this was a train station, yet it didn’t show any signs of slowing down. Lily’s eyes locked with the figure of a Dauntless leader who didn’t even look back before leaping onto one of the speeding train carriages.

“Shit, they’re jumping!” Someone gasped, the group stumbled forward in a frenzy toward the train. Other members leapt on, pulling carriage doors open for others as they jumped. Lily’s legs began to move before she’d registered what to do, pumping her arms hard beside her as she watched the train stream past at an unfair speed. Suddenly, she saw an arm reach for her. A familiar boy who had already claimed a place on the train.

“Get on with it! You’ll lose your legs if you’re not careful!” Lily was so out of breath it felt like she was inhaling acid. She flung her body forward just as her knees buckled, lurching through the carriage doors and into the arms of the boy.

“Oh god, I’m sorry-” She gasped, rolling onto her back in shock.

“Lily?”

“Yes?” Lily sat up, wiping a hand over her forehead when she realised who it was she’d fallen into. “Remus Lupin?” She punched a fist into his shoulder and watched his mouth spread into a grin. The only friend she’d had before Sev, taken away from her with no warning and no reason, yet here he was. He looked completely different than she’d remembered. His hair was shorter at the sides and longer at the top like a spiky mullet which people wore centuries ago and a gold hoop stuck out of his nose. He’d split his eyebrow, however it didn’t look intentional as there was a scar that ran through it and up onto his forehead, the rest concealed with shaggy hair. Aside from the most noticeable deep scar across his nose and right cheek, almost everything including his hazel eyes were the same.

“I thought I’d never see you again.” He laughed, helping her stand in the shaky carriage. It was decently full, surrounding Lily with faces she’d never seen before. There was a churning in her stomach that she hadn’t felt since the night before, something along the lines of triumph yet it held undertones of regret. God, she needed to get fitter. That run almost took her out.

“You know I was surprised when I saw you up there picking Dauntless, but I can’t say I’m not glad to see your face again Lily, it’s been too long.” It had been too long. Remus had grown a lot. An uncomfortable amount, which meant he towered over her and had to bend to speak to her. He used to be a slither taller with wiry limbs and clumsy luck but in the year that he’d been gone, he’d filled out and taken off like a beanstalk with arms and legs. She rubbed the back of her neck, holding the arm rest beside her to keep from falling as the train jostled the carriages.

“Yeah, caught myself by surprise too.” She replied, noting the strange way he looked at her before turning to his friend.

“This is Mary MacDonald. She’s just done the ceremony too, but she was already in Dauntless before she chose it.” He explained. “I think you’ll get along. Hopefully.” He murmured

“Oi, Lupin, bring the medkit here!” A boy pulled the doors which separated the carriages open and stuck his head through, beckoning Remus over like a dog who was expected to respond to command. Lily raised her eyebrows.

Remus said nothing and grabbed the kit, glancing back with apologetic eyes.

“So, you're a Stiff, huh?” Mary leaned against the train's walls like she’d done it a thousand times. Something fiery shot through Lily’s chest but she suppressed with a dull smile.

“Was. I was a Stiff. We’re equals now.” She stuck out her hand, watching intently as Mary took it to shake. She was a pretty girl. Big curls that stopped just above her shoulders, lips and nails painted a dark burgundy, large dark eyes that were difficult to read. Lily was almost jealous. Almost.

“I suppose we are.” She smiled back. The rest of the train ride was long and uneventful, but eventually Remus returned and Lily observed the two of them banter as if she’d been there all along.

_____

James first heard the shriek as the train began turning around the bend. The four of them, Marlene, Sirius, Peter and himself, stuck their heads out of the train carriage doors simultaneously to get a glimpse of what was so horrific. It was worse than he thought it was going to be. One at a time, Dauntless members were leaping out of their carriages and tumbling onto the roof of a suspicious building almost two meters lower than the tracks. Not to mention the gap between the train and the ledge. All the colour in Peter’s face had drained and Marlene looked so jittery, James almost thought she’d begin ricocheting off of the walls.

"What do they expect us to do? Cross our fingers and hope we don't plummet to our deaths?" Marlene exclaimed, watching James fearfully.

“It’s going to be okay, we’ll go in pairs.” James nodded, trying to convince himself it was actually all okay and that he wasn't secretly chewing his bottom lip to raw shreds.

“They’re jumping out of a moving train! How do you know it'll be okay?” Peter mumbled hysterically through hands which covered his mouth.

“Don’t be such a pussy, Pete.” Sirius snarked. That was enough to silence the four of them. Marlene and James exchanged wary glances. Neither of them had expected that from the uptight-looking Erudite boy. Suddenly, James felt someone's fingers interlock with his.

“On three?” Sirius grinned, something daring behind his thunderous eyes. “One, two-”

“I mean… I SUPPOSE-” James was pulled mid thought as Sirius tugged him out of the carriage, sending them tumbling onto the roof of the building below. James squeezed his eyes shut at the stinging of the gravel against his bare skin, looking up only at the familiar scream of Marlene who landed beside him.

“I thought you were going together!” James sat upright, looking at Peter who was still in the carriage, alone.

“He let go of my hand, James! I don’t know what you want me to do!” She waved her arms above her head. Her knees were scraped and bleeding.

“Jump, Pete! You have to!” James stood and ran alongside the train frantically. Peter stepped back into the darkness before launching himself out of the carriage. Moments later and he’d have nowhere to land, yet his timing was perfect. He tumbled onto the edge of the building's roof, hitting his shoulder and then his elbow on the ledge with a thud.

“Here.” Sirius grabbed James's arm, guiding him over to the growing crowd which had formed at the far end of the building. Pete stumbled behind, getting a slap to the back of the head from Marlene, who looked unimpressed.

“Attention, new recruits!” A spritely young man with mousy hair was standing on the ledge of the building with his arms spread. He had a small tattoo on his forearm and from afar it looked like lots of little squiggles, but when the three of them pushed closer, James noticed that it was a constellation of stars.

“Welcome. It may look daunting,” He said with a wink, “But this is the entrance to your new life. You jump, you’re a Dauntless. You don’t jump? Well, let's just say you’ll regret it.”

“Jump where?” A boy with shortly cropped blonde hair glanced down into the abiss below.

“Down.”

“What’s down there?” He tried again, but his question remained unanswered.

“You’ll have to find out.” The man grinned, “So, who’s first?” He clapped his hands together, looking at the group of them eagerly.

There was an uncertain flicker of fear which shot through the crowd.

“Me.”

Chapter Text

“Me. I’ll go first.” Sirius stepped forward with excitement swelling in his chest, pulling at the blue threads on his shirt where a rip was unravelling. He had waited his entire life for the moment where he’d finally be able to call himself a Dauntless and he wasn’t planning on waiting any longer. The hole was dark, to say the least. It was placed down the side of the building they were standing on, about four stories lower than they currently were and boxed in on all sides with other buildings which looked abandoned and not entirely safe. It looked big enough to jump through, but one inch in the wrong direction and you’d break more than a few bones.

“An Erudite boy, who would have thought?” The man placed a hand on his hip and faced the rest of the group with surprise, spreading the other arm wide out towards the ledge where Sirius would be climbing in a few moments.

Sirius turned to look over his shoulder briefly, only to come face to face with James, who had followed him out into the opening.

“I’ll be down right after you, okay?” He said reassuringly. He almost looked worried, not for himself, but for Sirius. It made his usually cold and sarcastic heart swell a few sizes. In the back of his mind, deep and buried where no one else would ever see, he thought of Regulus.

He stood cautiously on the ledge, sucking in a sharp breath as the breeze whipped his hair around. The moment he stepped off the ledge, he felt the world open up around him. All the heaviness he’d been carrying for 17 long years vanished from the clutch it’d had on his shoulders, leaving him light as a feather. Darkness shadowed his eyes and he closed them tightly waiting for a harsh impact, but he was only met with a net at the bottom of the pit. Sirius reclaimed the oxygen that had been knocked from his lungs, only to lose it all again when he saw the man who was waiting for him beside the net.

Sirius rolled off of the net and onto the ground, feeling his vision blur. He clenched his fists to stop the shake of adrenaline that shot through his system, taking in the large, dark building he had landed in.

“What’s your name?” The man asked. From here, Sirius could see his face up close. His eyes reminded him of a valley beyond the walls of the city, a vast hazel green with flecks of gold that continued onto his skin in the form of freckles.

“Pardon?” He cleared his throat, blowing out a breath of air with his hands on his knees. The man seemed to hold back a laugh at his Erudite manners, yet it was so instilled in Sirius that it’d slipped out before he could catch it.

“Your name. Make it good, you only get to pick it once.” The man said playfully, his head slightly tilted to the side.

“It’s just Sirius.”

“First jumper, Sirius!” He announced, and from behind Sirius could hear a smaller group of people clap faintly. However, it was drowned out by a howling yelp from above.

“Sirius! Did you make it?” Was the first thing that came out of James’s mouth once he’d reached the bottom of the net.

“Yeah, James, I’m here.” Sirius replied as pink painted his cheeks.

“Sweet mother of god, I thought that was the end for me.” James’s pupils were humorously large. His round glasses had managed to stay on yet had fallen askew on the bridge of his nose. Sirius helped him out of the net as did the pretty man and they waited for the remaining jumpers.

_____

During the tour of the Dauntless compound, James had been exposed to so many things he’d never thought he’d need to get used to. Bustling bars in the middle of the day, tattoo and piercing parlours with lines that continued for meters out the door and crowds that surrounded fights that would randomly form in the middle of the walkway. All for good fun, they were told. No one was ever injured badly, but James still felt his blood pressure rise and he’d immediately reached for his friends to stick close by.

When Sirius had volunteered to go first, he’d assumed the boy had a death wish. Nobody knew what was at the bottom of the pit. But, as all friends do, James had to ensure that Sirius was okay after he jumped and figured the best way to do that was going straight after him. The girl with the fiery hair had gone second to last and had put up a good front to the man with the scar who waited by the net, but James had noticed the way her fingers shook even half an hour afterwards.

He’d watched all the jumpers curiously, noting who had seemed the most shaken after the pit. James didn’t know much about Dauntless, but he did know that they weren’t a fan of the word “fear” and the only way to make it to higher ranks in this place was pretending you had none.

“Alright, this is your dorm. You get one only, boys and girls will be together for the foreseeable future.” The room was large, with beds set out in long rows. The only ounce of privacy was a few wide support beams scattered here and there throughout the room, but otherwise it was all open concept, including the bathroom. Showers had no curtains, toilets were separated only by knee high walls, and there were simple benches and cabinets in the locker rooms for changing and storing clothes.

Some were grinning sheepishly, others whistled with obnoxious delight, yet others looked as if they’d rather join the factionless. This would be an interesting few months.

“On each bed there's a change of clothes for each of you. Take what fits, leave the rest, and burn your current clothes. You’re not your old faction anymore. Meet in the food hall for dinner when you’re done.” Announced the man, who James had since learnt was named Ted. James had noticed that while they were speaking to Ted, Sirius had been uncharacteristically quiet. He supposed he would ask him about it later.

“I claim this one!” Peter announced joyously, laying flat against the black sheets. James picked the one beside it, Sirius picked the one beside his. Marlene, however, was busy scoping out the bathrooms.

“Find anything interesting?” James asked curiously, attempting any conversation necessary to break the uncomfortable silence.

“I figure we’re all about to become a lot closer, Jamie my friend.” She slapped him heavily on the shoulder as she walked past. James cringed heavily at the sting it left but couldn’t help but smile. He knew exactly what she meant. Soon, they’d all need to become very comfortable with each other, which would be much easier for some than others.

“I bet you’re excited, Sirius. You seem like the flaunting type.” Marlene teased, poking Sirius in the thigh as she danced past, claiming a bed that was pressed against the wall.

“Marlene, you hurt me, truly.” He pressed a hand to his heart, “I can’t believe you’d picture me like that.”

“Well, I've only known you a day and I think I’ve got you all figured out.”

“Maybe there’s more to me than you think.” He smiled, but it didn’t reach his eyes. It looked practiced, forced, even.

Soon, everyone except Sirius had changed and were ready to leave for the food hall. Most of the other recruits had already gone and it was their small group and a few others left. James’s heart spiked to a panic when he realised that the girl he’d become (only slightly) infatuated with since seeing her at the aptitude test, was making her way over with her friend.

“Hello, we’re wondering if we could join you for dinner?” She asked “I’m Lily, this is Mary.” Lily seemed to direct the question to Marlene, who stared at the two girls like they’d just told her she’d won twelve months of free food rationing.

“Yes.” She said simply, a small grin appearing on her face, “I’m Marlene, this is Peter and James.” She pointed to the two of us quickly and they acknowledged us with a small wave.

“That’s… Oh, Sirius, would you hurry up? We’re all starving.” Marlene groaned. Sirius only shrugged when he noticed the eyes on him. He was standing in his Erudite uniform in the bathroom, inspecting something on his face that apparently none of us could see. He’d been at it for almost twenty minutes.

“Just go without me. I’ll catch up.” The group of us stood, confused.

“Are you sure? I can wait for you.” James offered casually, but it was met with a wave of a hand and so the group of them left in the direction of the food hall.

“What’s up with him?” Mary asked

“Maybe he regrets leaving Erudite?” Peter offered, but Marlene rolled her eyes,
“Not if you’d heard the way he was talking about it before. I think he’s just taking it all in, that’s all.” She said as they entered the hall. It was filled to the brim with rowdy Dauntless, lots had piled plates and were laughing loudly, shouting across tables at one another, spilling their drinks. Someone was even standing on a table, doing an impression of someone James couldn’t guess, but it made him laugh nonetheless.

After they’d plated their food, they found an open seating area which fit them all if they squeezed. Without even needing to thoroughly plan it, Lily sat next to James. Even though she didn’t acknowledge him for the majority of dinner, he still absolutely counted this as a win. They talked briefly about their families, their old factions and why they chose this faction in the end. Lily didn’t seem interested in discussing this part. Sirius joined them eventually with his new outfit and a twinkle in his eyes that James was glad to see returned.

“I don’t regret it, but I’ll always miss my mum’s vanilla scrolls. I don’t think I’ll ever eat something that good again.” James said solemnly, digging around at the leftovers on his plate with his fork.

“Aren’t you going to eat that?” Lily finally spoke up, eyeing the plate.

“I’m stuffed. Would you like it?” He offered,

“No, thank you. But there's a lot of good factionless people who would give their left leg for a meal like that. It’s a bit of a waste, from an Abnegation point of view.” She spoke with her head in her palm, elbow planted on the table. Though the comment hurt slightly, James couldn’t help but suppress a smile. Though she’d presumably lived there her whole life, Lily was the least Abnegation looking girl he’d ever laid eyes on.

“Sor-”

“You shouldn’t be talking about your old faction, you know. This is your home now.” The man from earlier announced himself, sitting in a gap that someone had left on the other side of Lily. The whole table fell silent. Those who weren’t paying attention before, definitely were now. James wasn’t sure if it was because they’d been caught discussing their past or because they were taking in the man's face.

“Remus, hey.” Lily tucked a loose strand of orange hair behind her ear, god James was a jealous prick.

“Hello. Are you all settling in well?”

“Yes,” The group seemed to answer unanimously.

“We’re all a bit… Tired. Ready for a big, fun slumber party later with all of our new roommates.” Marlene finished sarcastically.

“It’s unsettling at first, but you’ll get used to it.” He nodded, “Ah, I'm Remus, by the way.”

“I’m Marlene. That’s Peter, James and S-”

“Sirius. Yes, we met earlier.” Remus smiled lightly, Sirius almost choked on his drink. He placed it down with a thud and grinned sheepishly in Remus’s direction.

“Yep. Yeah, we met.” He nodded, almost as if trying to convince himself.

“Anyway.. I’d better be off, lots of newbies to meet. See you all at training tomorrow.” And with that, he stood and left the table. James didn’t know if it was first day jitters or what, but everyone seemed to be in their own world.

“He was supposed to be our group leader this year, you know.” Mary said quietly, to no one in particular. “But he turned it down. The first person to ever turn down a leadership role.”

“Why?” Lily asked,

“Not entirely sure. I think it has to do with his leg or something. On bad days, he needs a cane. But usually he hides the knee brace with his pants.” Everyone seemed more interested now.

“How can he fight the way Dauntless does, with a leg injury?”

“He manages just fine. He came second only to Ted Tonks in physical training class last year for the trials, first in mental training. Well, that’s what the rumours say anyway, we’re not really supposed to know about the trials until we do them. He’ll be training us tomorrow alongside Bella.”

“Bella who?” Sirius piped up, eyes wide.

“Bellatrix. She didn’t give a last name, most transfers don’t.”

“She’s the one who took my aptitude test.” James murmured, shuddering at her spiky personality. The group slowly dwindled to two as the rest of them left to go back to the dorm to prepare for the night, only James and Sirius remained. Sirius picked at his nails frantically, while James took in their surroundings now that the room was quiet and empty.
There were large wooden pillars that stretched to the ceilings, two stories high with a skylight in the middle, streaming moonlight onto the large table benches below. The front of the room was the buffet styled cafeteria, filled to the brim morning noon and night with food and snacks. Around the room where walls were bare, hung thin yet long black flags with Dauntless markings across them and lantern light every few meters to glow the area. Corridors at this time of the night were too dark, so each person needed their own source of light to see.

“Will you stick by me?” Sirius asked suddenly, snapping James from his reaching thoughts.

“What?”

“Will you stick by me, James?”

“Yeah, ‘course. Only if you stick by me.” He nudged the other boy's shoulder and he returned the gesture playfully.

Though the night seemed dull, James could see a bright future ahead of them.