Chapter Text
Charles was off talking to Moira now, which left Raven alone to snoop - something Charles probably should have guessed would have happened if he left her alone. It felt bizarre that this place, once her home had become so alien, that she could barely recognise a book on the shelf. Of course most of it was littered with Genetics research; Journals with Charles' own papers and otherwise. But now there were boxes of notebooks and photos and pages of writing which had never been there last time she lived here. To be fair last time she lived here was in 1962 and it was only for a few months, its not exactly a surprise that the place has changed. She opened up the top box to find all the old clutter of her and Charles' teenage lives. The nostalgia hit her like a truck. Old records of Frank Sinatra, Chuck Berry and Elvis were squeezed into the side of the box.
---
"I don't know how you expect me to study with this on."
"I thought you loved this one" Raven looked up from writing her diary to face Charles, 'Roll over Beethoven’' playing in the background
"It's nothing to do with the music, it's hard enough listening to the chaos of your head, now I've got this extra thing my brain is trying to focus on while I'm trying to memorise these stupid flashcards" Charles moaned back, swivelling his chair to face her. "Also do you really have to write on my bed, you're far too clumsy for me to trust you not to get ink all over my sheets"
"You're always up here studying, how else am I supposed to spend quality time with my favourite brother; you wouldn't want me downstairs all alone with Cain would you?"
Charles just turned to her with a frustrated look, then he stared at her more idly before a big grin befell his face.
"So … who you writing about?"
"You and how much I hate it when you get inside my head"
"I'm not looking inside your head, I just can't help hearing the surface thoughts, especially when you're basically shouting them at me. So whats his name?"
"None of your business it's nothing I'm not even talking about a crush"
"You can't act like I can't hear you screaming about how you’re in love"
"You can't act like no ones noticed you've never had a girlfriend, maybe you should focus on yourself before you start on others”
Raven quickly closed her diary, making sure that Charles wouldn’t get any snippets of Raven thinking about a girl in her class's bright eyes and lush hair.
Charles walked over to lie next to her on the bed.
“You’ve got any plans for tonight?”
Charles sighed at her “do I ever have plans”
“Oh yeah sorry forgot you’ve got no friends”
“Shut up” he shoved her playfully “I’ve just got boring friends, the only time I get to do anything these days is when mum and Kurt have their stupid parties”
---
Raven picked up a crumpled up old invitation to the Xavier-Marko Christmas party, it was for the last one they ever had. Just before Kurt died and everything went to shit. That’s naive to say, the shit had been around for a long time.
---
Charles was clearly using tonight as an excuse to have fun for once - she couldn’t blame him, 16 years old and he basically spent all of his time inside. Raven was in a circle of aristocratic girls around her age, she had never struggled to make friends, blending in was her identity. Charles, however, she could definitely see him struggling. Standing a good yard away from the other boys his age, in the corner with a whole bottle of champagne to himself.
Annoyingly she wasn’t exactly in the sort of company you can just walk away from without explanation, and Raven had a way of making sure she was the centre of attention in these group settings, so she would just have to settle with staring at him from afar.
Red in the face, he was clearly drunk, not exactly surprising from the amount she had seen him drinking and his relatively short and slim stature. Raven could feel the second hand embarrassment when she saw him start to attempt to shuffle along to music.
“Isn’t that your brother?” Edith (a taller girl with platinum blonde hair) asked with a snicker
Raven felt the instinct to defend him, but the desire to stay with this group overrode it, as annoying and posh as they were. “Oh yeah, he can be a bit weird sometimes”
The other girls started laughing “You can say that again”
She looked over again to see Charles talking to some older man. It felt weird, no wrong. Raven watched the pair leave the mansion and walk over to the garden. Raven had never seen Charles talk to this random man, probably some rich weirdo as most people at these parties were, and Charles wasn’t exactly acting like himself.
“Sorry I just need to go to the bathroom” Raven interrupted the girls’ conversation and ran upstairs to get a better look at where Charles was going on one of the balconies.
She scoured the grounds. Drunk teenagers hanging out behind the bushes - nope not him. A couple 20 year olds throwing up in the fountain - definitely not. Then suddenly everyone in that garden stopped. Completely frozen in place - she knew it was him, he had done it before but not to this extent, and not in public.
She finally spotted him legging it across the lawn, she turned to see where he had run from only to see that old man with his arms wrapped around seemingly nothing, with his fly unzipped. You didn’t have to be a telepath to realise what had happened.
Charles ran up the stairs and straight past Raven. Only when he slammed the door did she see the people outside unfreeze. She tried to talk to Charles, banging on his door begging him to let her in, but there was just silence from the other side. She could hear Kurt making his way upstairs to see what the commotion was, but he didn’t matter anymore.
They never did talk about that night. Too uncomfortable she reckoned, maybe Charles thought she didn’t know or that she would reject him if they ever addressed it. Maybe he thought that if he didn’t think about it it never happened. But they both knew it did.
---
Raven decided she didn’t want to look in that box anymore, the time where this place was anything close to home was long gone and good riddance - their teenage years hadn’t been anything short of hellish.
She continued to scour the office. Photos of the school on the bookshelf, one of Hank and Charles standing in front of the gates, a whole school photo, one of herself and Charles as children (because of course he still sees her as that little girl and not the woman she is). Then sat on his desk, turned away from all prying eyes, was a photo of him and Erik, back in ‘62 playing chess in Charles’ room. How could he claim to not care about the man anymore when he’s staring at the man’s face everyday, like some housewife awaiting her husband who has left for the war.
She opened the drawer on the left side of Charles’ desk and saw the diary Hank had told her had caused much controversy in the school as of late. She took it out and put it to the side, honestly she had little desire to read about her brother’s moping in the 60s and 70s - she remembers how insufferable he was at the time. Underneath it lay a Ray Charles single she knew all too well - I can’t stop loving you. Because of course it was.
---
“I can’t believe the CIA are just letting you two go on some stupid road trip to find mutants or whatever” Raven sat perched on the chair in Charles’ dorm as him and Erik began packing on the bed
“I don’t think the discovery of a new species can be classified as stupid” Erik snapped back
“Still I think it’s unfair that only you two get to go and I have to be stuck here with Hank”
“Hey I thought you liked Hank” Charles chimed in
“I do but it’s just that I thought this was going to be like a whole group thing, I don’t like being left out all the time”
“Okay but if we all went then how would we be able to drive these people to get picked up and taken back here”
“Well why doesn’t Erik stay behind and we go” Raven knew exactly what she was doing when she asked that question. She had seen the way Charles had been staring at him with those lovey eyes and honestly she was tired of it.
“Because Erik is…” Charles’ face had turned to a shade of scarlet
“Because I don’t think anyone would trust a teenager running around the country” Erik sighed
“You two love acting as if I’m so immature when-”
'I’ve made up my mind’
“Raven shh I love this song” Charles quickly started to turn up the radio
“God you are such a wuss, do you like this crap?” She turned to Erik
“I’m more of a classical man”
“Both of you are such boring old men, what about dancing”
‘To live in memories of the lonesome times’
“I think you forget that we are quite a bit older than you Raven” Charles rolled his eyes
“Well you don’t have to act like it, you’re only as young as you feel and all that”
“Yeah well attitudes like that is why me and Charles are going on this trip and not you” Erik smiled and shut his case
“Is that all you’re bringing?” Charles perked up
“We’re supposed to be packing light Charles, it’s a work trip not a government mandated holiday.”
‘It’s useless to say’
“You think you’re so smart with all these quips, some of us like to look nice when we go outside” Charles smirked at him
“What are you saying about my clothing” Erik faking offence
“Oh nothing you know I love this turtleneck you seem to wear everyday”
“Are you insinuating that that I’m dirty” Erik took a few steps towards Charles
“Of course not, I think you look positively dashing” Charles beginning to close the gap between the two men
“Eww get a room” Raven yelped
Charles seemed to jump across the room as she said that, back to packing his bags. Erik instinctively turned up the radio, as if its presence could distract from what was clearly going on between the two men.
‘So I’ll just live my life of dreams of yesterday’
---
“Raven?” Charles wheeled back into his office to see her sat at his desk, rifling through his stuff
“Huh? Oh sorry I didn’t realise you were coming back in”
“I was just coming in to get you, we’re looking for Erik now on Cerebro”
“Oh nice”
“Yes and just for the record, me leaving the room isn’t permission to snoop, some of that stuff is private and quite important”
“Okay and some of that stuff is mine” Raven pointed to the boxes filled with memorabilia of their childhood “I think sometimes you forget we both used to live in this house”
“You know I’m always wanting you to come back home”
“Not home” she stopped him “just somewhere I used to live”
Charles rolled his eyes
“Alright come on now and show me where Cerebro is, it’s been a while” Raven followed him out