Chapter Text
Hi there, it’s your friendly neighborhood Spider-man here. Today was supposed to be a slow day. Semester grades are in and Mr.Stark let me have the day off as well. Saying it’s my treat for acing my Organic Chem final. It was awesome. But then I ran into my everyday harasser Dead-.
“Baby boy! I do no such thing. And it’s not my fault we are in this situation, it was that stupid fishbowl heads’ fault. Besides we both didn’t know he would hire a real hocus-pocus lady.” Deadpool shouted as he hugged my leg, still trying to gain my forgiveness.
I exhaled slowly and looked down at DP, “Crying over spilled milk won’t do anything. Let’s just figure out where we are.” Looking around, all I could see were crates. A salty smell hit my nose, “I guess we’re near a port.”
“Hey Spidey, look at this!” I looked over to where DP was pointing. The wall was spray painted with a design that resembled a clown.
“Joker?” I said out loud, “Do you know anyone called Joker on your end?”
“Nope, Never heard of this clown. Ha Ha, get it.” Dp exclaimed as he slapped my ass.
“Ow! Yeah, I get it, and don’t do that!” I yelped out. A crash was heard and some murmuring was heard as well. “Hide!” I whispered. We hide behind some crates.
“A-Mark, come help me load up the bombs! The Boss will get mad if we’re late.” My Spidey sense was ringing so loud it was giving me a headache.
“DP, we have to do something!” I whispered.
“What’s the plan baby boy?” He said as he pulled out his katanas.
“Let’s wait till they load them into the truck and highjack it. Drive it into the ocean. Got it? Oh and no killing!”
“Okay okay, no killing. Party pooper.” We sneaked closer to the truck when my spider-sense went off the charts loud. It made me wince as I held my hand to my head. “Hey, Spidey babe, you ok?” I could hear the concern in his voice.
“Something or someone very dangerous is coming.” I noticed the shift of his brows under his mask.
“Like Thanos dangerous or what?” He asked in a serious tone.
“No, just dangerous.”
I stiffened when we heard a new voice, “Well boys, seems the bats and birds haven’t found this place yet. Looks like we still have a chance! And just in case-” the green-haired man pushed a little boy into the warehouse. The boy was sobbing and looked terrified. I felt my blood boil; I was so angry that I broke the edge of one boxes we were hiding behind causing noise. “Who's there!?” The one called “Joker” called out. Deadpool pulled me back, “Babe, I got this. Wait here, okay?” He gently squeezeed my hand, keeping it from terribling any further. I hadn't noticed was shaking but I tell DP was in a way to trying to calm me down. I slowly nodded as I reassured him I was okay.
“Hey! There fellas! Where’s the party? Sorry, I got a little lost on my way to the missies. She’s going to be so mad for being late to our date.” DP excitedly shouted out to the group of men.
“Well, now this isn’t what you see every day. And for a second I thought you were Red Hood for a second. So you looking for work or here to be a pain in the rear?” He asked as he pointed his gun at him, “Well it doesn’t matter you’re going to die either way.” Then a shot was heard, an echo that played in my head, I felt so scared but I acted out on instinct and ran to protect the little boy and pulled him to safety.
“Wade!” I shouted as I held the boy closer to me.
“Babe! I’m fine. Healing factor, remember!” I felt like crying but another shot was heard. A pain shot through my thigh, I yelled in pain but more shots were being shot and I had to keep the kid safe by all means necessary.
“Babe!”
My Spidey sense was causing me pain and it wouldn't stop ringing. Ever since we got here my spider-sense was buzzing. It made me wonder if there was something wrong with it. “I’m fine! Healing Factor, Remember!” I shouted back.
“DP, Let’s go.”
“Not before I -”
“Let’s go! We aren't the only ones now. We have a kid here. We needed to get him to safety.” I shouted as I ran towards the truck. I jumped in and started the engine.
“Hit it, babe!” DP exclaimed as he started shooting back at the men chasing after us.
I drove into what looked like a city, “ Are they still following us?”
“No we lost them. I think. I hope. Anyway, you're bleeding. Let's switch. I'll drive while you patch yourself up.” And with that we whiched places. “How's your leg, Spidey babe?”
I looked down at the wound, “Not too bad but the bullet is still in. I'll just web it for now. Shit, DP-"
“I know I see them too. Hey child where do you live?”
“158 West Lanna Street, it's in the center of the city.” He sniffed as he held onto my arm. “I was with mom when they took me. They killed her!” He sobbed again, “papa was running late for my soccer game and we waited for him at the entrance for a while but then they took me.” I felt so sorry for the kid. I put him on my lap and hugged him tightly. I didn't shush him or anything just hugged him. After a while he fell asleep with tears still dropping down his face.
“Wade I-"
He cut me off by placing his hand on the back of my head, "I know Pete I know." More shots were heard, "haha, I forgot we're still being chased. Come on baby boy, what's the plan?"
"I'll jump out the window and take the kid with me. They are more likely to go after you then me. I still have the element of suprise." I stated as I looked back at group following us.
"Are you sure? What about your leg?" He asked worriedly to me.
"Yes, I'm positive and the longer the kid is with us the more likely he is to get hurt or worse." He and I both nodded as I lightly patted the kid awake. "Hey, buddy, this is our stop. I need you to hold on to me as hard as you can okay. We are going to jump out the window and get you home." He nodded, I opened the window and looked at DP for a second, "I'll be back. Please be careful and don't forget there's bombs in the back."
"Wow, I totally forgot about those. Haha I'm just kidding. Stay safe and I'll look for you okay." He said as he blow me a kiss with free hand. I leaned in and kissed his cheek before leaving.
"Ready kid?"
"Are you two married?"
"What?! N-"
"Oh! You're a smart cookie" DP exclaimed.
The kid giggled at his response. I signed as I jumped out the window, landed on a traffic light, and quickly started webbing away from the chaos. I asked the boy for directions as we webbed through the city and finally found his home where his father greeted us with a sad but relieved expression. A short wave goodbye and I went to look for Wade. I easily found them and strangely there was no traffic nothing, well no traffic in the area DP was driving around in circles. It was both calming and nerve-racking. I hopped back in through the window, "Ready for the fun part?"
"I thought you'd never asked, my Spidey babe. Let's get this party started. Oh let's put on some music, if we're lucky we might get to hear Smooth Criminal by the Hehe Man. Haha, AOW!" He ranted about before heading back to the same port for before. "It's our stop now baby boy!" He shouted as he dragged me out of the moving truck. I could stick the landing, but DP wasn't as lucky and broke his nose. "Ah, owie my nose," he said as he popped it back into place.
"Good thing we lost them-"
Someone cut me off, "Not quite you disgusting low-life metas. Don't you know the bats and birds don't welcome metas into this city? Gotham's Dark Knight isn't too fond of them. I suggest you beat it before he catches you two. Just a word of advice." The clown said as he laughed, damn did this guy creep me out. "Well isn't this ironic, guess I'm helping the Bat get rid of some trash this time? Boys! You know what to do." And with that, the men started moving closer around us. But it was funny to see how easy it was to take them down. DP and I took them down in record time. It felt good and all but that clown kept making me uncomfortable, he just stood there the whole time. Staring at me as I beat up his gang, till he was the only one standing. "Not bad, you two are quite skilled. Are you two new members of the Bat-family or something?” I was about to answer but DP just shot him out of nowhere. He fell to the ground and screamed in pain while grabbing hold of his injured leg, “You bastard! What was that for?” He angrily shouted.
“Oh, you know what that was for. Ever heard of the phrase ‘An eye for an eye’? You shot my Spidey and considered yourself lucky he’s here because if he wasn’t I’d be pulling out your brain by now and shoving it up your-”
I cut him off, “Okay, okay, we get it. No need to get graphic DP.” I signed and looked at the clown. “Who are you and what the hell were you planning to do with those bombs?”
“And why would I tell you that? If anything I have the right to remain silent. HAHAAHAHAH!” He laughed, and all of a sudden I started to feel dizzy and I guess DP noticed because he held me in place by my waist. I looked down at my thigh to see that I was bleeding through my webbing,’ Well that’s not good’ I thought.
“DP, let’s call the police and get out of here.” As I dialed the police, my Spidey sense went off and the clown was charging at us with a gun pointing at DP. I was fast enough to move out of the way but DP was shot in the head.
“Mother- Ah That hurt! You clown shit!” Just as DP was about to shoot the Joker in the head a smoke bomb was set off in between them. I webbed DP out of the way and a really buff dude appeared in the middle, “Baby boy, is that the police? I don’t remember them being so built.”
“Who the hell are you two? And what are you doing in my city?” He asked in a deep and threatening tone.
“Hey, old man, A little thanks would be appreciated. I mean we did stop this clown from bombing your city. Be a little grateful, we- well mostly me would have ignored it.” DP started to rant again.
I cut him off, “Sorry, we aren’t from around here. And-” I felt dizzy again and this time it was worse. I started falling over but Wade caught me before I fell, “Don’t kill anyone.” I said to DP before passing out in his arms. I can still see the worried look on his face even tho it was covered by his mask.