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Chapter Text

Siegfried sat at his cluttered desk sorting through bills and grumbling. It was a quiet Sunday morning at Skeldale House. Audrey was at church, of course. Mr Carmody was at Heston Grange, responding to a late night telephone call from Helen’s sister. One of the Aldersons’ pigs was farrowing and it wasn’t going well. Helen had bundled up her sleeping son and gone along with Richard for a long delayed visit to her family farm and to lend support to Jenny through the emergency.

The house was unusually silent. Not even the dogs were snuffling about.

It had been an eventful seven days since Siegfried had confessed his love to Audrey Hall. In the week that followed they had spent every free moment together, deliriously happy and lost in one another. As a result, paperwork had piled up and Siegfried’s little companion, Vonolel, had spent his hours alone.

Siegfried paused in his review of the bills, suddenly aware of the complete silence. He glanced around and then peered into the cage belonging to his dear friend, a cherished and loving friend who’d seen him through some very bleak times and deserved far better than to be forgotten when times were happy.

“Hello!” he cooed to the bewhiskered creature who ventured out to sniff Siegfried’s finger at the edge of the cage. “I am sorry if you’ve been bored, my friend,” he whispered. I’ve had a rather wonderful development. You see, Mrs Hall, the lovely lady who sweeps about your home and reminds me to look after your food and water. Well, that fine, kind lady says that she loves me, Vonolel. She kissed me, friend rat, and agreed to be my wife. I am so very relieved and happy.”

Siegfried opened the cage when Vonolel squeaked and climbed up against the bars. “Ah, you are lonely,” Siegfried murmured. “Let’s have a little time together. Cuddling and exploring, eh?” He lifted the rat out and sheltered him in his hands, then offered Vonolel his choice of wandering the desk or cuddling.

Vonolel scurried up Siegfried’s sleeve and nestled against his collar, snuggled under his beard. Siegfried chuckled at the sensation of his little body against his neck and continued to sort paperwork as Vonolel explored his person. The little creature knew every inch of Siegfried’s upper half by now and yet seemed to truly enjoy nosing into his hair, down his waistcoat and over his lap, only to slip back between tweed and cotton and reemerge by way of Siegfried’s upper waistcoat edge. After wandering, Vonolel settled where Siegfried could stroke his soft fur and, eventually when the paperwork was done, lift his friend up to brush a little kiss on his narrow head, before placing the rat on his shoulder for a tour of the otherwise empty house.

As they strolled, Siegfried shared his thoughts with the little creature. “It all happened very suddenly, yet it has been building for years, I think, Vonolel. It has for me, little friend. Audrey came here when I was nearly done with life. Tristan was still too young to be without family. So I persevered when I’d have preferred to end it with a peaceful draught.”

Siegfried stopped beside the mantel to allow the inquisitive rat the fun of exploring between the bric-a-brac, tankard and picture frames. He smiled as the rodent paused to examine Tristan’s photograph. “Yes, that’s him. In uniform, Vonolel. I worry about my brother.”

As if understanding, Vonolel scampered over Siegfried’s hand and transitted his arm to squirm into the favored spot against his throat.

Siegfried chuckled, his heart lightened by the small warm body tight against his pulse. “Shall we see what’s on offer in the pantry?” he asked, thinking he might find a crumb of something to tempt his friend’s eclectic palate. The pantry had no Battenberg. There’d be no shortbread, no sponge cake or cheese, none was expected, but Siegfried hoped for a scrap of something to brighten the loyal rat’s culinary life.

Siegfried switched on the light and scanned the shelves. Smelling food, Vonolel emerged and Siegfried let him scamper down onto a shelf to explore. Audrey would have his guts for garters if they were caught. She was deeply biased against rats, though she endured Vonolel for his sake.

Siegfried smiled as he watched the inquisitive little fellow thoroughly investigate each pot, jar, canister and box. Vonolel slipped nimbly from shelf to shelf, clearly pleased to wander and sniff about, as befits his kind.

A footstep sounded. A door closed. Audrey was home.

Siegfried glanced toward the pantry door, certain they might be discovered at any moment. When he looked back to the shelves, disaster!

Vonolel had vanished.

Chapter Text

Siegfried scanned the shelves one last desperate time, but Vonolel was nowhere to be seen. The little beast might well have slipped behind a box or canister, but he did not dare rummage around for fear of Audrey’s sharp hearing.

He switched off the overhead light and stood in shadow trying not to fidget.

Audrey hummed as she walked along the front hallway, The sermon had been based on the folktale of Androcles and the Lion. It was one of her favorites. She were eager to chat with Siegfried about it.

As she unbuttoned her best wool coat, she hummed softly, thinking the beautiful lyrics of the hymn, ‘All creatures great and small, all things wise and wonderful…’ She paused at the door to Siegfried’s office. She’d left him there, bent over a pile of bills and scribbling out invoices for services not yet billed or demands for payment long over due.

Now, however, Siegfried weren’t at his desk.

“Siegfried?” Audrey called out. She had helped Helen bundle up the baby for an impromptu visit to Heston Grange. So, she knew there were no one to bother with her calls. “Siegfried? I’m home!” she called again. “You’d have approved of the Vicar’s sermon.”

Wondering if he might have been called away to another emergency, Audrey hung up her coat and hat and strolled to the kitchen to make a pot of tea. The house felt too quiet, particularly without Jimmy or Siegfried underfoot. She weren’t sure she didn’t prefer a bit of racket to such total silence.

When she noticed Siegfried’s suit coat hanging over the kitchen chair back, Audrey began to worry.

Not ten feet away, Siegfried stood absolutely still in the dark pantry. He fought the urge to search out Vonolel in the dim light that spilled through the frosted half lite of the pantry door. He was nearly frantic to locate the rat before Vonolel scampered off deeper into the recesses of Skeldale House. The pantry paneling was far from perfect. He’d installed it from bits salvaged from an old outbuilding years ago, building a serviceable if imperfect pantry to please Evelyn. He was no carpenter. It came out a rough job at best. There were any number of ways a rat might escape into the walls and, from there, might go anywhere in Skeldale House or even far beyond. The possibilities were dire and made Siegfried queasy with concern for his little friend.

Worried as he was for Vonolel’s safety, Siegfried dared not move. Audrey could read him like a book. If she caught him hiding in the pantry … Well, he wouldn’t want to think about the consequences of loosing a rat in her pantry, a treasure trove of ever more scarce rations. Worse, how could he face her with the fact his pet rat was on the prowl and might pop up anywhere, anytime.

His long tense wait ended when Audrey opened the pantry door and stared at him, open mouthed. “Here you are!” she gasped. “Hiding in me pantry? Why on earth … “

Stealing a page from Tristan’s book of tricks, Siegfried snatched up a small box of sodium bicarbonate and declared, “Aha!” Then he stepped close and kissed Audrey full on the lips, earning a surprised squeak followed by a soft moan of pleasure. “I shall return this as soon as I am ….” He raced off muttering nonsense, leaving Audrey staring after him, amused, aroused and none the wiser as to why the daft man had been lurking in the dark pantry for at least ten minutes.

Siegfried raced off to the dispensary. He tipped a bit of the baking soda into a handy beaker and added a dash of acid, just in case Audrey followed. He left the harmless mixture bubbling away as he crept through the house, peering under furniture and behind bric-a-brac, hoping to locate his dear rat.

She caught him at it in the dining room.

“What is wrong with you!” Audrey asked, finding Siegfried on all fours, bum in the air as he attempted to squeeze his shoulders under a narrow end table. He reacted abruptly by jumping, banging his head on the underside of the table and upsetting the lamp.

“Bugger!” he barked, backing away and rubbing his head while Audrey steadied the lamp.

“Have you lost your mind or your pipe?” she asked. “If it’s your pipe, it is in your jacket in the kitchen.”

“Ah! Good! Excellent, thank you,” Siegfried huffed as he clambered to his feet, still palpating his wounded head. “You are my savior, Audrey,” he cooed, in part because it was true, but also to distract her from further questioning.

“Fancy a cuppa?” she asked, taking his arm and glancing at the back of his head. “You’ll live,” she muttered, squeezing his bicep closer as she guided him toward the kitchen. Siegfried did his best not to peer under every stick of furniture and onto every shelf as they went, but it were clear to Audrey.

Summat were going on and the daft beggar didn’t want her to know a thing about it.

Chapter Text

Audrey observed Siegfried as she sipped her tea and chatted away at him about the lovely morning church sermon. She watched him over the rim of her teacup. She weren’t obvious. She didn’t need to be obvious to catch the signs.

The mad beggar were a nervous wreck. The smile he tried to manage did nowt to hide his frequent anxious glances toward the pantry door, the fear in his eyes, his clenched jaw. Siegfried gnawed his lip.

Clearly, the daft apeth were struggling not to tell her summat.

As Siegfried ignored his tea, looking like a client for the gallows, Audrey finally said, “Spill it, before you have a heart attack. What have you done?”

The abject terror on Siegfried’s face made Audrey’s heart fall. It were bad, whatever it might be.

He cast his eyes frantically right, then left, as if looking for an escape.

“Just tell me, please,” she whispered, reaching out for his hand. “Whatever is wrong, it cannot possibly be as bad as what I’m imagining, Siegfried.”

“It’s … um ….” He stopped and gripped her hand tight. “I am so sorry, Audrey. It’s ...” He gulped and looked about, his eyes wide and wild. His hand trembled.

“What!” she demanded. “Are we ruined? Did you murder someone while I were at church?! Just tell me! Oh, good Lord, tell me it’s not one of the lads!” Audrey covered her face, fearing the worst, and felt hot tears spring forth.

At that, Siegfried leapt up and focused. “Everyone is fine,” he blurted, leaning over and hugging Audrey’s shoulder against his hip. “There’s been no bad news. I promise. It’s Vonolel. I let Vonolel loose in the pantry and then he vanished.” The words had tumbled out in a rush. Then, with it finally confessed, he added, “I must find him!”

Audrey looked up, wide-eyed and horrified. “You did WHAT? On PURPOSE! Your blooming RAT in the PANTRY! Siegfried Donald Farnon ….” Audrey stopped shouting and slumped in her chair. Siegfried had already backed away from her with hands up in defense, then at a safe distance he'd turned and fled.

She dried her tears and sipped her tea, listening as Siegfried’s swift footsteps thundered back and forth through the house. With a shake of her head she muttered, “That MAN!”

As exasperated as she’d been at the revelation that Siegfried had set a rat loose in her pantry, Audrey also felt sympathy for the poor, distraught fool. For reasons far beyond her comprehension, Siegfried had found a soul mate in a small rodent that he’d won in an irresponsible contest of drinking prowess at The Drovers. Perhaps the affection had begun as manly pride for besting far younger men in that ridiculous contest.

Perhaps it were deeper and more about Siegfried’s sense of being an outcast, tolerated for his impressive and essential skills but never really embraced. It were a foolish notion, that. The man was respected by all and beloved by many for his brusque version of empathy and kindness, but Audrey knew Siegfried Farnon very well. She had always sensed his loneliness, even now. It were deep in the man’s warp and weave. Not even she knew why.

And so, Siegfried felt a deep kinship with a rat, a species generally reviled that dwelt at the fringes of human society, living off our scraps and outwitting us as tormentors. It weren’t so different from Androcles and his poor injured Lion. Except, in this case, Vonolel were the lad Androcles, Audrey mused with a wry chuckle, and Siegfried were the injured Lion in need of kindness and care. He’d found it for whatever reason from a small beast what might have been an enemy of mankind, but were Siegfried’s dear little friend and confidante.

At that Audrey smiled and committed to doing better by Vonolel, he were after all proof of the holy grace of simple kindness and mercy between the humble and varied creatures of God’s miraculous creation.

Eventually, when Siegfried were at wits end and she’d finished her leisurely tea, Audrey leant a hand. He searched the pantry under her supervision.

Nothing.

He searched the cupboard under the stairs. No sign of the rat amidst the disgruntled spiders and the dust.

Siegfried methodically searched every inch of the main floor, with Audrey trailing behind for moral support and a sharp set of sharp eyes in case the rat bolted. Then he scoured the upstairs and even the bedsit, but to no avail.

By the time he’d searched everywhere, Siegfried was near to tears, dusty and shaking, red faced and filled to bursting with shame over his inattention to his comrade’s welfare.

“He depends on me to keep him safe,” Siegfried rasped for the thousandth time. “Audrey, Vonolel is my friend, my dear dear friend and dammit I love him. I know you can’t accept him, but the rat loves me. He gave me his affection when no one else seemed to care.”

“You just felt alone,” she gently corrected him while she hugged Siegfried and petted his disheveled hair. She rubbed his back and whispered against his cheek, “I always cared. You know that now, don’t you. I always will, even days when I want to wring your blooming neck.”

Siegfried nodded and hugged Audrey tight. “I am sorry, Audrey. I am a bloody damned fool.”

“You are, Siegfried Donald Farnon,” she confirmed with a chuckle. “If we don’t find that rat, you will be in more trouble if your dear little friend gets into our food stores, but right now you are too upset to think straight. You need a whisky and a cuddle to clear your head.”

Chapter Text

Siegfried paced red-faced and grumbling, whisky in hand, until Audrey took him by the hand and said, “Come sit with me. Wearing out the sitting room rug won’t bring your little friend back.”

“I must put the dogs in the shed until I find him,” Siegfried stated, putting down his glass, missing and nearly spilling the precious liquor.

Audrey caught it, however, and said sternly, “Sit. Please. Here. Drink your drink. Close your eyes and try to relax.” She patted Siegfried’s shoulder and gave it a squeeze. “Rats are naturally reclusive. You know that and we both know they’re nature's survivors. Vonolel is perfectly fine. I am quite sure of it, my love. You sit. I’ll deal with Jess and Dash.”

Siegfried collapsed onto the couch with a huff. “Yes, alright. Thank you, my dear,” he managed to add with an apologetic grimace. “I shall try to clear my head.”

Audrey bestowed a sympathetic smile upon the overwrought man as she ran her fingers through his wild curls. Then she whistled for Dash and Jess. ‘If you’re like this over your rat,’ she mused with a sharp twinge of sorrow, ‘it’s a miracle you survived losing Evelyn.’ That thought were too sad to be anything but a distraction, she told herself sternly. So Audrey firmly set it aside. “What’s past is past,” she muttered briskly and went looking for the dogs.

She found both dogs fast asleep in their basket. She had to smile at the way Dash had taken to squeezing in alongside Jess. As she stroked one, then the other, Audrey noticed a sprinkling of rat pellets around the Dash’s food bowl.

She sighed, thinking, ‘Now, this disgusting sight just might help ease the daft beggar's mind!’

“The dogs are out in the shed,” Audrey announced as she returned to the sitting room. “Your Vonolel has been leaving us little signs of his travels here and there,” she added.

Siegfried’s face lit up like a child’s on Christmas morning at the mention of the rat having left his horrid turds on her inevitably spotless floor, but Audrey felt a rush of love for Siegfried. His relief were that lovely!

“Show me!” Siegfried insisted and when Audrey pointed out the tiny black oblong turds, the mad beggar acted like he’d struck pure gold. “These are fresh!” he enthused bending his nose practically to the tiles. “No sign of blood or hair. So the dogs have let him be, thank goodness!”

Audrey hummed her equivocal relief as she fetched her broom, pan, rag and disinfectant.

The search for Vonolel began anew. This time Siegfried led the way armed with his magnifying lens. Audrey followed with pan, rag and disinfectant.

“Rats are actually very clean!” he insisted every time Audrey swept and vigorously scrubbed.

“Indulge me,” she replied each time. “I’ll sleep better this way, Siegfried.”

There were no luck all that day and, when Mr Carmody and Helen returned from Heston Grange, Siegfried solemnly briefed the household on Vonolel’s escape.

Horror registered on Helen’s face at the story. “I’m taken meself and Jimmy back to the farm,” she declared with a shudder. “We have rats in the barns, Lord knows, but I draw the line at sleeping with them. As for Jimmy, I’d die if I had to tell James that his son were rat bait.”

Siegfried blushed deeply at her reaction. "I'll drive you and Jimmy straight back to Heston Grange," he offered.

"And we'll be staying there," Helen declared firmly, "until your darling Vonolel is back in his cage!"

Richard Carmody watched the exchange. He held his peace until Siegfried had escorted the little family out. Then he turned to Mrs Hall.

“I believe I shall take myself off to the boarding house, as well," he said. "If you won’t be offended by my abandoning … um … you and … um ...,” he stammered to a halt.

“Rats from a sinking ship?” Audrey smirked. “Off with you then before Mr Farnon returns to order you to stay.”

Richard made a hasty retreat, lugging his valise, books and a sandwich as he made good his escape.

When she were suddenly alone in the quiet house, except of course for a lone rat skittering somewhere unheard and unseen, but positively palpable in his unrestrained presence, Audrey took a deep breath and closed her eyes, wondering, ‘How can one small creature turn everyone’s lives so topsy turvy?’

Then she opened them and said with an exasperated chuckle, “One small creature and one daft beggar, the most ridiculous creature of all!"

Chapter Text

Siegfried returned quite late. Richard Alderson had asked him to check over the sow and her newborn piglets. Once again, Audrey trailed along behind him with broom, pan, rag and disinfectant as he searched every room, every shelf and every corner for Vonolel. By the end of their search, Siegfried was distraught and Audrey keenly felt his pain.

The day Dash had been offered to Mrs Pumphrey, Audrey’s heart had nearly broke in two as she told the loving spaniel that he must go. She would never forget the kindness Siegfried had shown to both Dash and herself at that moment of heartbreak. That memory made his current anguish her own. Loving him and wishing to vanquish his pain and worry were there, of course, but that memory of nearly losing dear Dash drove Siegfried’s pain straight to Audrey’s heart.

“We will find him,” Audrey repeated again and again as the evening grew late. Finally, she said, “You need to rest and so do I, Siegfried. Let’s take a kip before the fire.”

He nearly argued, but saw how tired Audrey was after the fifth search of the entire three-storey house, as well as the cellar and even the surrounding shrubbery. So, instead of soldiering on, Siegfried said, “Yes. No sense making ourselves ill. An hour or two won’t matter now, I suppose.”

So he sat and Audrey nestled against his chest with her head tucked into the bowl of his shoulder. Siegfried kissed her hair and said, “It has been a terrible day for you, Audrey. I am so sorry.”

“Never mind,” she yawned. “Try to rest a bit.”

They fell asleep, exhausted and taking comfort in each other’s embrace. The hours ticked by, one o’clock, two o’clock, three o’clock came and went.

The fire was embers when Siegfried shifted in his sleep. “Audrey,” he murmured as he returned to semi-consciousness as the warmth and pressure of her hand stroking his lap stirred him in his slumber.

Hearing her name, Audrey opened her eyes. Siegfried were still asleep, but he seemed to be rousing. “Darling ... vixen,” he murmured, making her chuckle.

“You’re dreaming,” Audrey whispered, touching Siegfried’s hand.

Then, suddenly, to her shock, Siegfried leapt from the couch and began to gyrate around the sitting room like a victim of Saint Vitus. He jumped and squirmed, calling out, “I’ve got him, by God! I’ve got him!”

Audrey, barely awake, could only stare open mouthed at the wild scene of Siegfried cavorting about in the shadows.

“Got what, Siegfried!” she yelped back. “What are you doing!”

“Vonolel, Audrey! He’s climbed up my trouser leg and I’ve got hold of him on the wrong side of my left pocket! Come help me strip! If I let go, he’ll be off like a shot!”

Audrey staggered upright and joined Siegfried.

“Braces down first, then belt, button and zipper, darling!” Siegfried directed.

Audrey blushed, but obeyed. She’d helped the man dress over the years as a result of injuries, but going the other way with his trousers were summat new and were happening not at all in the way she’d ever dreamed. It took longer because Siegfried kept twitching and squirming, trying to keep hold on the rat on the inner side of his trouser pocket.

She’d managed the braces and was fumbling with his trouser button when Siegfried yelped, “He’s loose again, heading straight down my left leg!”

Audrey dropped to her knees and clamped Siegfried’s trouser cuff tight, trapping the rat above Siegfried’s ankle.

“Very carefully take one hand away and reach inside, Audrey,” Siegfried pleaded. “Vonolel is very gentle. There’s no need to be afraid of him, I promise.”

Audrey closed her eyes and thought of Androcles, that brave, kind lad. This were a rat, not a lion.

“All things bright and beautiful,” she sang softly, her voice thin and quavering, “All creatures great and small. All things wise and wonderful, the good Lord made them all.” Then, in one swift move, she let go of the trouser cuff, thrust her right hand up Siegfried’s leg, touched soft fur and closed her fingers around the blooming rat.

In the next instant, Siegfried was on his knees at her side, taking Vonolel from Audrey’s shaking hands, tucking the rat safe and snug in his waistcoat pocket and then kissing her tear-streaked face.

“Brave girl!” Siegfried cooed, hugging her. “Brave, brave girl. Audrey, I can’t thank you enough, my dear, my love!”

The next morning Vonolel was safe in his cage on Siegfried’s desk. Mr Carmody had returned and promised to fetch Helen and Jimmy back from Heston Grange. It was a surgery day and Siegfried had a long queue of patients to see.

He left Audrey in the kitchen with a sweet kiss and a long hug. “You are the bravest of women and I am deeply eternally grateful, Audrey.”

Normally, she might have brushed off his praise, but after the past frantic hours of endless searching and worry, Audrey said, “See that you remember that promise, Siegfried, and never bring that rat or any other animal into my pantry. Understood.”

“Clearly understood,” Siegfried agreed, thoroughly chastised. Then, whistling, he went off to exam room number one and plunged into his busy day.

With Siegfried scolded and that settled, Audrey checked she were alone and slipped into the pantry. She found the little metal box where she’d hidden six shortbread against a day when Siegfried might need bucking up. Very carefully, Audrey broke an edge off one shortbread, closed and hid the box, then she crept into the office and held the small delicacy through the cage, luring Vonolel out to get better acquainted.

His fur were really very soft and Vonolel seemed a clever little chap. “Pleased to know you,” she murmured to the rat. He squeaked a polite reply. It made Audrey smile as she warmed to the little rodent, despite herself.

After all Vonolel were her Siegfried’s dear friend and confidante and Audrey were really very pleased the little creature were back where he belonged, safe and sound, and happily nibbling shortbread … in his blooming cage! 🐀