Archive of Our Own ^beta

Cassaras still felt the scream in his throat when he jerked up into a sitting position.

He dug his fingers into his blanket, looked around, glad when he recognized his bedroom in the dim light. One thing his light sensitive eyes were good for.

He ran his fingers through his long hair and took deep breaths until he felt the pounding in his ears slowly disappearing.

It had been the kind of nightmare he’d been experiencing for the past few weeks since he’d taken in Thea and moved with her into the little house on the Icelandic coast where they wanted to wait until the situation on land had calmed down.

After the fight, the surface dwellers had found out about the merworld, and the Alpha Cru was currently busy trying to clear everything up together with Tess’s parents and the Ocean Knights.

Cassaras thought back to his dream, the battle against Orion where he’d almost lost Thea. He still saw her face in his mind, covered in her own blood, while Orion’s manic face was next to hers, his knife pressed onto her throat.

The doctor had truly been crazy in the end and Cassaras was glad that he’d been killed. Still, the images continued to haunt him.

He shuddered and tugged the blanket off his body. He knew that if he went back to sleep now, he would dream of the battle again.

So, Cassaras sneaked out of the backdoor in the shirt and pants he wore for bed and wandered down to the beach where he sat onto one of the rocks and stared into the waves. Nelani had promised to develop a solution for the anti-magic beings virus Orion had spread in the water a month ago.

Cassaras missed the water so much. Only now he realized how Thea, Alea and all the other merperople had felt during the past eleven years.

Rofus didn’t help him and Cassaras risked death every time he got sick from the virus. He still shuddered every time he thought back to the one time he’d gotten sick, just right after Alea and Thea had reunited.

Cassaras watched the water for an hour or so until he noticed the first rays of sunshine. Only then he made his way back to the house, closing the door behind himself and picking up one of the many books Thea had brought to the house from Orion’s villa. Something about old Germanic myths, not that Cassaras cared too much. He just needed a distraction. So, he looked at pictures of fairies and dwarves for the next hour and read about dragons until he realized that Thea would be up soon. The girl usually woke with the sun.

So, the nixie prince got up and made some of the algae pancakes Thea loved so much. At least he could now make use of the cooking skills he’d acquired over the past decade, he thought, and the recipes he’d come up with, trying to combine land and sea food with each other.

-

The next night was not better at all.

He once again dreamed of the battle, however this time, he couldn’t protect Thea. This time, he was bleeding out on the deck of the Crucis, his turquoise blood slowly spreading over the planks while Orion pressed his knife into Thea’s throat and-

His throat hurt from screaming and Cassaras was glad that Thea wasn’t able to hear his terrified cries. He did not want her to bear his trauma too.

Once again, he made his way to the water, sitting on his rock until the sun rose.

-

A few nights, he was able to sleep somewhat peacefully, but then, Cassaras was once again woken up by his own screams and the terror of his nightmare.

He considered for a moment going to the bar in their town to down a few glasses of whiskey, but he knew from experience that alcohol didn’t solve problems, it just made them worse, so he pulled out his knife and the stone he used to sharpen it, went down to the shore and sat on his rock.

Once again, he was glad that Thea hadn’t noticed his night terrors.

He was staring at the moon and let the stone wander over the blade of his knife, when he suddenly heard something behind his back.

With a quick motion, Cassaras had turned around, knife in his hand, aimed at the person who just attacked- no, approached him. Thea.

He let his arm sink and shuddered. He had almost attacked her, his girl.

Thea looked at him with big eyes. She was barefoot and wearing an oversized T-Shirt. In her hand, she was holding an old-fashioned lantern. The light illuminated her face and Cassaras was able to see the scar on her cheek where Orion’s knife had cut her.

Cassaras had shot the doctor with one of his arrows so that he would let Thea go. The man had lifted the knife from Thea’s throat and had injured her in her face instead when he had tried to doge Cassaras’ attack. At least the scar was slowly fading. The prince still felt guilty about her getting hurt. He almost hadn’t been able to protect her.

Then Cassaras noticed that she had been crying.

“Oh no, Thea, what is it?” He signed.

The girl looked at him, eyes scared. “You were gone.” Her hands were shaking. “I had a nightmare, and you were gone.”

Cassaras sighed and closed his eyes for a moment. Then, he pointed at the smaller rock across from his own. “Come, sit.” He told her, while sitting down again himself.

The mergirl nodded and sat down, putting the light source in between them.

“I’m sorry, I needed fresh air.” Cassaras began.

Thea nodded. “Another nightmare?”

Cassaras froze. “How do you know?” He asked.

The girl gave him a sad smile. “You aren’t the only one with nightmares in this house. Whenever I have a bad one, I need to make sure you are still in your bed. I once or twice saw you leave the house, but this time, you were just gone. I had to make sure. I know how much you miss the water, so the beach was the first place I thought of.”

Cassaras watched, as Thea explained the situation to him. He sighed. “I thought you wouldn’t notice. You can’t hear my screams after all.”

Thea gave him another smile. “I know. But I still notice things, you know?”

The nixie prince nodded. He knew.

“I dream about you dying, sometimes.” Thea signed quickly.

Cassaras took a deep breath. “Me too. I didn’t want you to experience the same, that’s why I kept quiet.”

Thea shook her head. “No secrets, please. I had enough of them for a lifetime.”

The prince nodded, feeling guilty. He knew about that and still lied to her. He just kept failing her.

“I’m not mad at you, I just-“ Thea signed quickly, then stopped. “I feel like we shouldn’t do this alone, okay?”

Cassaras nodded. “Thanks.”

“Once Nelani finds a solution for the virus, you will go back into the water, right?” She then asked.

Cassaras shrugged. “Maybe. I still feel… lost. Without a purpose. And the water being a danger to me doesn’t help.”

Thea stood up and crossed the sand. Then she took his hand in hers and pressed it. “Don’t worry about that, you helped me when I was feeling lost and now, I will help you.”

Cassaras wanted to cry. His little girl had grown up over the past few months. Instead, he just nodded. “Okay.”

Thea sat down next to him, pressing her shoulder against his side. Together, they watched the stars until Thea had fallen asleep against him.

Then, Cassaras picked her up and carried her back to the house, tucking her into bed.

Maybe she was still his little girl, at least sometimes.