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Finally.
All those days of treacherous piles of schoolwork and highly-graded tests, finally over.
That was the only good thing Twiz could think of at the moment.
Twiz had been dreading the drive home; the morning ended in an awkward drive to school after a loud, bad argument with mom. Again. Every time they had arguments as bad as that, all Twiz wanted to do was bash their head into a wall in hopes that it would kill them instantly. They had been “drawing”, as they liked to call it, on themself, for quite a while. The cuts bleeding fresh from their wounds a couple seconds after the cut was made. To Twiz, it was somewhat mesmerizing. They would do anything to forget their past events, even if it meant burying it under physical pain.
Another argument. Nighttime, same day as the last day of class. It started with something petty, Twiz woke up late that morning (due to their alarm not being plugged in at the time) and was a bit late.
“You need to make sure your alarm is plugged in tonight, I’m sick and tired of having to yell up the stairs every morning!” Photo growled, angry as ever.
“I will, mom, don’t worry.” Twiz mumbled, not even wanting to think about their mom as they walked to the stairs leading up to their room.
“Come here.” Photo suddenly said, tone sharp.
Twiz froze, and slowly turned around. “Why?”
“Come over here right now. Unless you want tour phone confiscated for a week.”
How harsh, Twiz thought to themself as they walked over to their mom, who was sitting on a chair in front of the kitchen counter.
“I’m going to be putting limits on your apps to limit your screen time. No ifs, ands, or buts. If you even dare try and talk back to me, the consequences will be much, much worse. Got it?” Photo glared at Twiz from her seat.
But Twiz wasn’t going to just back down, no, they could do much better.
“You’re always taking something from me when you’re mad. Why? You control me enough—“ Twiz said, only to be interrupted by Photo.
“Young lady, I’m your mother!! I have every right and reason to limit your screen time!”
Photo’s voice tore through Twiz. They knew what was gonna happen next.
“I’m not a—!” Twiz began, but stopped. Why even waste their breath? Photo will always deny their true gender identity.
“Whatever. At least you have a sense of control, I guess.” Twiz grumbled as they began to storm up to their room.
“Twiz, I am not done talking to you!” Photo yelled. Twiz froze halfway up the stairs before walking back down and leaning against the railing.
“Don’t go kill yourself up there. It took time for me to make you in my belly, and—“
“MOM!” Twiz nearly cried in shock and disbelief. She didn’t do it often, but sometimes she brought THAT up, especially in unnecessary scenarios.
Photo looked at them , raising an eyebrow. “No need to yell, I’m right here.”
“UGH!!” Twiz growled as they stormed up to their room and slammed the door behind them.
“What did I say??” Photo asked, to no response.
°❀⋆.ೃ࿔*:･°❀⋆.ೃ࿔*:･
Meanwhile, Twiz lay on their bed, curled into a semi-ball, weeping. Of course she brought that up. It was such a sensitive topic for them, but she still had to just bring it up.
They wept softly under the covers. They traced their fingers over their rosy scars, dancing along their forearm and up to their wrist. They started thinking again. They needed to feel better, they needed to cut. But they couldn’t.
Yesterday, the school counselor (who they despised DEEPLY), found out about their mechanism and took the sharpener from them. And now they were sitting here, without the sharpener. Just them and their thoughts.
You should just die already, you’ve suffered too much
Look at the pain you caused others. It’s your fault your parents still argue. Why go on?
You shouldn’t even be here.
Twiz hated it. They hadn’t quite realized that they started roughly biting their arm. They didn’t care.
I REALLY NEED TO JUST DIE. THE PAIN HAS TO END.
That’s all it took for them to rip their nightstand drawer wide open. They reached inside and grabbed a bottle of ibuprofen that they’d kept safe inside for a while now. They hadn’t researched much on overdose, but they were desperate.
But just as they popped the cap off—
Ping!
A notification from their phone. Sounded like a text.
They used their free hand to snatch their phone from beside them, glancing at their notifications.
2 messages from:
kandi!! ^^
1 message from:
❤️❤️berry OBJECT❤️❤️
They clicked on the message from Strawberry first. The text was a photo of a really stupid joke about something in their favorite tv show, a reality show. Nerdzy couldn’t help but snicker loudly in response.
< LMAO
Sent
That was nice, they supposed. They went to the messages from Kandi Cuff next.
10:30 PM: Bread
10:37 PM: Wassup? I’m bored
Twiz decided to reply.
< i dunno. stuff.
Kandi replied.
< Real. Can you FaceTime? We should call and make bracelets or smth
Twiz almost hit send on yes, but then realized they should wash their tear-stained face first.
After they’d dried their face off, they sent “yes!!!!!!”
Kandi almost immediately called them, and when they picked up, she said “hey” in a somewhat chill tone. It always felt so comforting to Twiz.
They recapped the ibuprofen and set it back in the nightstand drawer. They didn’t need it right now.
Kandi only knew about how Twiz felt suicidal because they accidentally said it over text. They ended up just joking it off and having a good time, but they didn’t talk about it after that. She knew nothing of their self harming tendencies. That they didn’t want to put in the effort to get better.
Twiz promised themself that they would tell her at some point. They trusted her dearly, after all, and she would comfort them no matter what. They would tell her at some point… because she would find out, one way or another.