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Chapter Text

CNN @CableNewsNetwork

TONY STARK IS DEAD! 

Whilst at a demonstration in Afghanistan, Mr. Stark’s Convoy was blown up. While we lack a body, we can only assume that Tony Stark unfortunately did not survive, along with the other passengers of the convoy. We send lots of love to the families of the passengers as well as the world, who lost a beloved idol.

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Tony doesn’t know how long it’s been. Days? Weeks? Months? ...Years? 

…no, it couldn’t be years. But then again, he wouldn’t know, would he? Not like there’s a clock or calendar in his cell. 

How did it all go wrong? He was only supposed to showcase the JERICHO and yet here he is. Trapped. By aliens no less. He barely even remembers how he got here. All he remembers is seeing a missile falling ( his missile. It had his name on it, how did terrorists get their hands on his missiles?), then a bright light and pain … and then he was waking up to a bright light, and weird figures surrounding him. He didn’t believe it at first. But all it took was a few hours and it set in.

Aliens.

He’d been abducted by aliens.

But no, aliens couldn’t be real! They only exist in– in sci-fi movies and books!

But then how else would he explain the weird shapes they took, the language they spoke, the way they moved– because they certainly weren’t human!

…aliens. Yeah, okay.

Tony sighed, looking at the weird clunk of metal he’d made out of the vent shaft (He’d taken it off but he was too big to fit into them, leaving him with an open vent, a bunch of scraps, and the small toolkit he somehow managed to keep on him). It didn’t do anything, but it was better than doing nothing !

He looked out the glass wall in front of him, the only thing separating him from the weird scientist aliens and freedom .

…that was a lie.

Because outside that glass more glass. Glass that only showed stars and an empty void. Because he was in space.

…he should be happy. Going to space had always been on his bucket list. But then again he’d thought he’d do it on his own time, with Rhodey and Happy and Pepper and god he missed them –

He sucked in a breath.

Missing them won’t bring them any closer. But he couldn’t do anything to bring them closer so– no .

He squeezed the screwdriver in his hand a little tighter.

Missing them won’t bring them any closer. The only thing he could do to see them again was to get out .

He looked at the metal in his hand again. If only he had some wires he could make something useful .

He heard footsteps.

It wasn’t the first time he’d heard them. Aliens walked past all the time (and they looked at him like a feral animal–), they never did more than that. (They’d left him alone after he killed injured about 13 of them). But these footsteps sounded different, there were three sets, but one sounded… dragging? Yes, it sounded like it was being dragged behind the other two.

A prisoner? Tony thought. Maybe.

Then they came into view. Two of the usual aliens, the ones with tentacles. But behind them they were dragging another, it was… tied up. Its bottom half was distinctly spiderlike, but the top was… vaguely? Human shaped? It had a human shaped torso, but it was the color of a spider, slightly furry? He thinks? The spider alien was screeching unholy sounds, it reminded Tony of the stereotypical alien screams in sci-fi movies, which makes sense he supposes. Who knew they got something right?

...well, Tony guesses they got a lot more right than he thought they had.

Tony moves into a crouch, ready to lunge at the glass. He'd tried breaking it before, it'd worked the first time but then they'd reinforced it and he dislocated his shoulder last time he tried again. Either way, it was the only bit of entertainment he could get, scaring aliens that walk by.

They're a bunch of pussies. It's hilarious.

The aliens were at the door… they stopped. Why'd they stop? They… they're opening the door? Why are they- oh God they aren't throwing the spider in here are they?

Against Tony's better wishes, the door opened and they tossed the spider in.

No use wasting the opportunity , Tony thinks, and he lunges at the door. The tentacle aliens shriek and the door slams shut, and Tony slams into the door as a result.

“God fucking dammit!” Tony tells angrily, he slams his fist against the door in frustration as the aliens trill and run away. "You stupid pieces of shit! COME BACK YOU COWARDS!"

He stands there for a moment, taking deep breaths. He groans and goes back to the corner, picking up the metal and turning it over in his hands. If only he had something else, anything else he could make something useful . Maybe if he manages to break the glass again he could smuggle some wires from the walls. But then what would he do? Even if he manages to make some form of weapon he’s still in goddamn space . He doesn't know where he was in the universe, or how far from Earth he was. So wh-

His thoughts are cut off by a slight clicking noise. His head snaps up… right, the alien in his cell. The spider was still tied up, and staring at Tony with… eight eyes which is kind of creepy but also with… fear? Is this spider thing scared of him?

Tony shifts slightly, and the spider flinches and starts shaking. Yep, definitely scared alright. Why? …that… might become awkward if this thing was gonna be his new roommate. It… it couldn't be comfortable with the ropes and the way it'd been thrown in. He’s an asshole, but he’s not so much of an asshole that he’ll leave something tied up when it hasn't done anything to him.

Tony sighs and stands up. He walks over to the spider, and crouches down beside it. It shrieks, and tries to squirm away in a panic.

“Jeez!” Tony leans back before a butting head can hit him, “Calm down! I’m not-”

Tony takes a deep breath and scoots back again. Screaming at the thing won’t help calm it down. He gives it a moment to calm down and stop flailing.

And when it inevitably does not stop flailing he rolls his eyes and reaches forwards anyway.

Chapter Text

Peter struggles in his ropes, kicking at the Chitauri with all his legs

“–’ll come for me then you’ll be sorry–!”

“Stars above do you ever shut up?” One of the Chitauri dragging him growls, “By the gods, why do those Avengers even keep you around?”

“Probably just a comedic relief,” the other sneers, and they both start laughing.

“H- hey! That’s not true! I’m a valued member of the team and–”

“Oh give us a break,” the first one sneers, “Everyone knows you Spyaiderlings are weak.”

“We’re doing the Avengers a favor getting rid of you!” The two Chitauri laughed, “I’m sure the human will love you!”

Peter’s blood runs cold. A human?! They have a human?! As in the most dangerous beings in the known universe (okay maybe not the most but they’re up there). As in the species that’s banned from intergalactic travel??

How did Thanos get his hands on a HUMAN?!?!?

“Y– You have a human?!” Peter stammers, “N– n– no! You can’t– you can’t throw me in with a human! I won’t survive–”

“That’s kind of the point!” The two Chitauri cackle

Try as he may, Peter’s pleas to not be thrown into a human’s cage fall upon deaf hearing cavities. His heart rate picks up when he spots the human, which spots them in turn.

“Please!” Peter begs as the human gets into a threatened stance, “Please don’t throw me in there! I’ll die! I can’t–”

The door to the cage opens and he’s thrown in. He tumbles, and hears a thud and curses from the Chitauri, as well as an angry shout of a language unknown to him, but he doesn’t pay attention because holy moly he’s in a cage with a human!! 

He struggles harder against his binds. Maybe if he’s quick enough he can put up some form of fight–

The human walks right past him.

Peter pauses. Is… is it not gonna attack him? He takes a moment to study it with a wary gaze as it drops onto the floor and picks up a hunk of scrap metal (why does the human have scrap metal? Did they give it a toy??) and prods at it with a metal stick with a handle. It has a bunch of brown hair on top of its head, and some around its mouth but none anywhere else. 

“Woah.” Peter mumbles quietly. 

Something glows through the cloth draped over the human. It's like a star is embedded in its chest. 

Peter screams when the human abruptly looks up at him at his mumble. 

Oh flark oh flark oh flark he's dead. He's dead. He's going to die and he'll be dead! How is he supposed to help save the galaxy if he's dead?!

Peter starts struggling against his bonds as the human gets up and starts getting closer. 

He'll never train with the others again. Never spar with Natasha, never eat Steve's cooking, never work in the lab with Bruce. Mess around with Wanda. 

The human barks and babbles something when he almost headbutts it.

Peter yelps when it pushes him down and pins him. A human is impossible to escape when pinned, the few sentients who escaped an encounter alive know this. 

Peter squeezes his eyes shut.

The last thing he did with Clint was break one of his arrows after trying to upgrade it. Flark he hasn't apologized yet, now he never will!

The pressure lets up and Peter feels the human back up. 

His eyes snap open and he turns to look at the human, which is sitting in the corner and staring at him. 

He can move his arms again. 

Peter’s instincts take over and he quickly scurries up the wall and into the corner of the ceiling farthest from the human. 

It blinks and babbles something. 

Peter looks away, then back at the human. 

…okay… he doesn't… think it will attack him. 

…now what?

Chapter Text

Tony isn't sure what to do at this point. 

The itsy bitsy spider crawled up the fucking wall, and is staring at him intensely.

Normally intense stares wouldn't bother him, but that's when a human is staring at him intensely. 

This is an the eight eyed, half man-half spider huddled in the corner of the ceiling like this is a fucked up horror movie. 

This is a fucked up sci-fi movie. Thank you very much. 

“...could you like… not?” Tony says slowly, getting uncomfortable. 

The spider just makes clicking noises at him. 

The cell falls into silence.

An uncomfortable silence, between a man who's trying to go home, and a spider alien that's scared of him. 

“...you're weird.” Tony eventually says, just to purge the silence and try to kill the suffocating tension. “I'm trying to decide whether I like you or not, but it's a hard decision when you're a weird ass spider minotaur.”

The spider shifts, but is starting to not look as scared as before. More confused if anything. 

So Tony does what he does best. 

Talk. 

“I mean, we’re both prisoners here, right?” 

The spider makes more clicking noises, and Tony takes it as a yes. 

“Right. So reasonably, we should try to get along. A: we're both prisoners here. And B: we should be conspiring to escape together. But at the same time, the way you skittered up the wall made me really uncomfortable. I have to admit.

“I'm trying my best to not be racist. Specist? I don't know. Either way,” Tony pauses and takes a second to really study the spider. “...I'm trying my best to come to terms with this arrangement.”

The spider looks down at itself, then at Tony with a tilted head. 

“You too? Great. Anyways,” Tony gestures to himself. “I'm Tony Stark. Normally this is where I'd say ‘but you probably already knew that’, but that thing tells me you didn't already know that.”

Clickety click clack click

“Thought so.”

>--------------<

The human just… keeps making sounds at him. 

It doesn't… feel threatening. At least, his sixth sense isn't nagging at him so… Peter thinks he's safe?

Well, as safe as he can be when he's in a cell with a human. 

Which isn't trying to kill him. 

Peter would actually like to think they're making pleasant conversation. 

“...yeah, totally.” He nods when the human’s babbling pauses. Every time Peter says something when it does, it seems pleased and continues chattering. 

He thinks that's a good thing. 

The human stops again and looks at him. Peter doesn't get to respond again before it's speaking again. 

…it holds a finger up and aims it at the floor. He blinks a few times. “...down?” He repeats the gesture. “You… want me to come down?”

The human bares its teeth (Peter flinches slightly, and really, really hopes it's a good expression. Like how Thor bares his teeth a lot whenever he's happy) and points at Peter, then at the floor. 

…humans… know how to point. 

…huh. Who knew?

"...yeah. Yeah, okay." He mumbles quietly, slowly crawling down. The human stares at him with something that's almost disgust, almost fascination, and almost discomfort. 

Peter startles halfway down when all the lights shut off with a soft bang, and the human waves its appendage around while making its noises at him. 

"...the cycle is over." Peter says quietly as he walks the rest of the way down and curls up in the corner. "It– it's been a whole cycle since I last saw the other Avengers."

The hair above the human’s eyes crease together. It bobs its head. 

"It– it was supposed to be a standard mission." Peter mumbles. "We raided one of the planets under Thanos' control. St- Steve lead the charge and we were– we were steam rolling them."

Small tremors begin to run through Peter. 

"But– but then I got careless. I ran after some Chitauri and– got trapped in their escape pod. Ended up here."

The human looks... almost concerned as it listens to him. 

"What– what if they can't get to me?" He sucks in a breath. "Oh stars– what if those guards were right? What if–" Peter's chest tightens. His breathing comes out as choked whistles. "Maybe they're not even trying to find me!" He mixes up his sounds. Stumbles over his words. He doesn't notice the human get up. "What if they hate me?! I can't– I– I can't live without them! What will– what will I do–?!"

Something wraps around him. Its breathing is loud, strong, and exaggerated. 

Peter gasps, clutching his chest. A bright glow is in his face, but it's... soothing. 

Something is sounding in his ears between breaths.

His eyes shut as he tries to calm down.

Everything's blurry. He feels like someone's stuffed cotton into his ears.

His breathing slows to match the other's.

He can't understand it, but something tells him it's meant to be comforting. 

They sit like that for a while. 

Peter's breathing slows further as he falls asleep.

Chapter Text

Peter’s eyes open slowly. He's briefly blinded by bright lights, which is odd since his room lights are always dull-

Wait.

His eyes snap open, body going ridged. He remembers where he is.

Where is the human?

He remains perfectly still, gaze moving through the small cell. He fell asleep. He's not dead, so that's good, maybe it won't kill him. 

But it's still a human. 

An unpredictable, savage beast. 

…the cell is empty. 

Why is the cell empty?!

Something shifts underneath him. His blood runs cold. 

…No.

No.

Peter very. Very carefully tilts his head to the side. 

…he's in the human’s lap. 

He is IN THE HUMAN'S LAP!

Peter’s growing mandibles twitch anxiously. 

…the human is sleeping.

Yeah. It's fine. The human's asleep. It won't hurt him. 

Peter tilts his head, studying the creature. He had to have fallen asleep before it, so that means it… didn't attempt to hurt him in his sleep.

…Steve's been interested in humans lately. What did he say about them? 

“Humans have a tendency to grow attached to things easily, did you know that?” Steve once said over dinner. “It's like my pack bonding.”

Natasha had sighed deeply, mandibles clicking in disapproval. “You know that kind of knowledge is gained immorally.”

Steve sighed as well, armor plates folding. “I know. But it's nice to know that humans kinda act like my species.”

…pack bonding. 

Flark.

>--------------<

Tony groans quietly, reaching up to rub his neck. 

Cold hard metal floors and walls do not make good sleeping places. Tony would not recommend it.

While he's at it, he doesn't recommend getting blown up and abducted by aliens either. 

He shudders at the thought, rubbing the thing in his chest. When he'd woken up strapped to the table, the thing was in his chest. It hurt at first. Like a bitch. But he got used to it. 

Not that Tony had a choice. 

Chitter click clack

“You need a name.” Tony declares, sitting up from his position slumped against the wall. He looks across the cell, where nightmare-from-hell-spider-centaur retreated to. “Do you have one already?”

The spider looks away, then back at Tony. “Clickety clack click?”

“Thought so.” Tony huffs. He looks outside the cell. Nothing but a boring white hallway. As usual. “What's that one nursery rhyme? About the spider.”

“...click chitter click? Clack click chatter clack.” The spider says. At least, Tony thinks the clicking sounds it makes is speaking. He doesn't want to be specist. Racist? 

He still doesn't know. 

Tony snaps his fingers. “The itsy bitsy spider. That's it. You're Itsy Bitsy now.”

Itsy Bitsy jolts when he snaps. Tony frowns at it. 

“Are you going to flinch at everything I do?”

“...click click click!” Itsy Bitsy yelps (well, it shrieks clicks louder) at his aggressive tone. 

“Damn it.”

Chapter Text

“They'd usually come with food by now.” Tony grumbles, drumming his fingers on his knee. 

Itsy Bitsy clicks something quietly. Its (Tony should really figure out if Itsy Bitsy has pronouns) legs are folded under it in a sort of cat loaf situation. 

Not as cute as a cat though.

Again: weird spider centaur demon from hell. 

Tony sighs deeply and slides his back across the wall to lay on his side. Even with his new roommate, without a way to understand each other Tony is still haunted by boredom. His throat is sore from rambling the other day, and now he's getting hungry. 

He rolls onto his back. 

Joy.

A scuttling sound catches his attention, and he makes a face when he sees Itsy Bitsy crawling up to the corner above the door. 

“Could you–”

Tony freezes, then scowls. 

Footsteps. 

Guards.

Tony tilts his head back, glaring at them through the glass.

His captors stop in front of the cell, scanning the space. 

Tony hopes they think Itsy Bitsy escaped. That'll give them a good scare. 

Actually, speaking of…

He gains a devious grin, and slowly shifts into a crouch. 

The guards aren't even looking at him, instead warbling at each other and looking around him. 

Not yet… NOW!

One of the two guards goes to open the door, and Tony lunges into the glass. 

He laughs loudly, sitting back down when they shriek and run away. 

“Serves you right!” He crows after them, cackling.

His mirth has mostly faded by the time Itsy Bitsy gains the courage to skitter down the wall. It looks… more scared than usual. And it’s not Tony’s fault this time, he swears!

Itsy Bitsy clicks at him, watching the hallways closely.

Tony laughs, laying back. “You’re a big scaredy spider aren’t you?”

Emphasis on big. Tony thinks as he watches the spider-centaur loaf again. He supposes it makes sense. Every alien in this damn hellhole has been terrified of him, why would Itsy Bitsy be the exception?

It seems like it’s easily scared anyways.

>--------------<

Peter isn’t safe.

Well– duh , he’s in a cell with a human .

But he needs to get out of here as soon as possible. He was supposed to die when he was thrown into the human’s cage, and he’s going to die if he doesn’t escape before the Chitauri realize he’s still alive.

He pokes at the corners of his mouth, feeling the sting of his growing mandibles.

Are the other Avengers coming for him?

Do they… even realize he’s gone?

What if–

BWOOP BWOOP! 

Peter and the human startle and look up when the lights start flashing red and an alarm starts blaring.

“INTRUDER ALERT! INTRUDER ALERT!”

…well.

Here's Peter’s answer.

Chapter Text

BVOOM

“Gogogogogo!”

“Leave it there, we've gotta go!”

“Unplug everything!”

“IT’S THE AVENGERS!”

>--------------<

BWOOP BWOOP

“IBLASKAHJ AERMA! IBLASKAHJ AERMA!”

BWOOP BWOOP

“IBLASKAHJ AERMA! IBLASKAHJ AERMA!”

Tony doesn’t know what the alarms are saying but Itsy Bitsy seems excited.

The alien keeps skittering back and forth across the cell and watching the hallways bathed in red light.

It’s like watching a puppy with zoomies watching its owner approach the door.

He starts watching the halls carefully as well. Aliens are running back and forth through it, for once not paying him mind as they pass. Not looking over as if waiting for him to leap through the glass and kill hurt them.

He's not sure why. It's not like he's done that before.

…heh.

“What's going on, Bitsy?” Tony asks as he stands slowly. 

He glances out at the red hallways. The aliens work fast, turns out. It's damn near cleared. 

“Well– oh.”

Tony goes to snark, but the door slides open before he can. 

Convenient.

He blinks. “Right, well– wait where are you going?”

Bitsy rushes out of the door as it opens, looking both ways before skittering down the hall. 

“Wha– come back!”

>--------------<

They're here! They're really really here! They came for him! They do care for him! 

Peter doesn't mean to leave the human behind, he really doesn't. He's just feeling so light and airy because he was worrying for nothing!

It's fine. The human follows him anyways, making noises as it does. 

Peter continues on, letting the human rush after him. 

Nothing can bring him down from this high. He has a new buddy (maybe it is a deathworlder, but he's about… 87% sure it won't hurt him and 96% sure it pack bonded to him), his family came to rescue him, and he's not going to die at the hands of Thanos or his grimy minions!

“HEY!”

…shit.

Peter turns quickly, getting into a defensive stance to face the Chitauri guard behind them. The thing hefts its blaster arm at him, no doubt eager to put a hole in the Avenger's skull. 

It doesn't get to. Not when the human is running and tackling it. 

Peter’s raised arms fall slack in shock. 

The Chitauri squawks when it hits the ground. Any other noise gets cut off by the human bashing its head into the cold metal of the cargo ship's floor. 

…Peter is suddenly really, really hoping the human truly pack bonded with him. 

>--------------<

The thing shrieks when he tackles it, righteous anger taking over when he sees one of his captors raise a weapon at him and Itsy Bitsy.

"Stupid piece of shit–" CLANG "Ugly ass motherfucker–” CRUNCH “Coming after me and Itsy–” The thing's stopped struggling. His hands are covered in the thing's blood. 

“...oh.” Tony mumbles softly, backing up. “...oh.”

He actually killed it. No doubt about it. He well and truly killed it. There's no ‘it could survive that’, no ‘there's no way it died from that’.

He killed an alien. 

It– it deserved it. It was self defense. Why is he so caught up about it? It kidnapped him. It's the reason he can't go home. It…

It doesn't matter. 

It was a nameless alien who he could care less about. 

He's the Merchant of Death. His weapons have caused death already, no reason his hands can't too, right?

That's what he'll tell himself. 

Tony mutters a curse under his breath, patting the alien down while wiping the blood off his hands. He finds that, in addition to the blaster built into the thing’s arm, it also had a hand held on strapped to its leg. 

Tony only hesitates for a second before taking the whole holster and the pouch attached to it. 

“Come on.” He mutters to Itsy Bitsy, looking up and down the hallway before continuing in the direction the spider had been going. “We should find escape pods. There's always escape pods on shit like this in the movies.”

He tries his hardest to ignore the way Itsy Bitsy flinches as he passes it.