Archive of Our Own ^beta

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“can you see me? i’m waiting for the right time.

i can’t read you, but if you want, the pleasure’s all mine.

can you see me using everything to hold back?

i guess this could be worse,

walkin’ out the door with your bags.”

— “bags” / clairo

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“I just— Buck. What if I’m making a mistake?” Eddie inquired softly, his eyes wide and vulnerable as he glanced over at Buck.

The two of them were sprawled out on the floor of Eddie’s bedroom—Eddie’s now gutted, empty bedroom—a few beers deep. The evidence of their consumption littered the floor around them.

Buck sucked in a breath.

Seeing Eddie’s house so bare was putting him on edge. He hadn’t been there when Eddie’d first moved in. Eddie’s house had always been filled with furniture, photos, and drawings made by Christopher, lining every surface.

With Eddie’s belongings all packed away in preparation for his long drive back to Texas, the house felt cold, as if every warm memory Buck had ever made in the place had been tucked into the boxes Eddie was going to take.

The only time Buck had seen Eddie’s bedroom so empty was when he helped Eddie patch up his walls after his breakdown. Eddie had dubbed him “the guy who likes to fix things,” with sunlight streaming in from his blinds, bathing him in a golden halo.

Buck didn’t know how to fix this, though.

Buck cradled his beer bottle in his hands, searching for something to do.

The thought of Eddie leaving was unbearable, another person to add to the long list, really. A part of Buck was tempted to tell him that, yeah, it was all a mistake. He should stay in LA. He should stay in Buck’s sightline at all times.

The other part of Buck, the more rational one, was all too aware that was selfish. He was selfish for wanting Eddie to stay. He couldn’t ask that of him.

“It’s Chris,” Buck said eventually, once the silence had gone on for too long. “You have to get him back.”

Eddie’s shoulders slumped, and he let out a heavy sigh. He sat his beer bottle down on the floor beside him and flopped backwards so that he was lying flat on his back.

“What if he doesn’t want to see me?” Eddie asked, his eyes trained on the ceiling.

Buck sat his own beer bottle down and mirrored him.

“It’s Chris,” Buck said again, meaningfully.

“Yeah,” Eddie said, his voice somber and quiet. A wry grin took over Eddie’s mouth, and it made the pit of Buck’s stomach twist. “You always know what to say.”

Buck couldn’t help but snort. “I don’t,” He said just as somberly. “I really don’t.”

Silence lingered over them.

Then—

“I wonder what my new captain will be like,” Eddie said, and Buck turned his head to look at him. He tried to memorize the exact shape of his jaw and the tiny mole beneath his eye. “I doubt he’ll be as permissive as Bobby.”

Buck swallowed, looking back at the ceiling. “It’ll be fine,” Buck attempted to comfort him. “They’ll love you. You’ll get a whole new team…” He trailed off, not wanting his voice to crack from the sudden lump in his throat.

“They’ll never hold a candle to you guys,” Eddie said earnestly, immediately.

Buck half-shrugged, his shoulder digging into the floor. “You’ll get a new partner, you’ll have Chris back, you know, it’ll be like—” Buck cut himself off before he could say it.

It’ll be like I never existed at all.

Buck could feel Eddie looking at him. Eddie’s gaze was searing, and Buck basked in the warmth, not meeting his eyes. He did his best to catalogue the heat, so he could huddle by it when he was inevitably left shivering and alone without it.

“Is that what you think?” Eddie demanded, propping himself up on his elbow so that his gaze was entirely on Buck. “That I’ll get a new partner and what? Forget all about you?”

Buck’s breath hitched, giving him away.

“You’re not—” Eddie started, sounding like the words were torn out of him. “You’re not replaceable, Buck.”

“Sure,” Buck agreed, except, he was. “Just. People don’t have a hard time doing it, do they?”

“Buck,” Eddie said in a low voice, dripping with disapproval.

“You and Chris need to work things out,” Buck replied decisively, even though his eyes remained on the ceiling. It was hard enough letting go; he wasn’t brave enough to meet Eddie’s eyes while he did it.

He thought back to Eddie’s words from a few days previous; it already felt like a lifetime ago. He would never willingly put Eddie in the position of having to choose between him and Chris.

He would choose Chris every time, too. Eddie had to know that.

“Buck,” Eddie said again, snagging his attention. Buck hummed, still averting his gaze, and Eddie let out a short, frustrated breath. “You know I wouldn’t be going if it weren’t for…it’s just—it’s Chris,” Eddie elaborated.

“I know,” Buck whispered, and he did.

And maybe Eddie knew that Buck understood because when Buck risked a glance over at him, Eddie’s eyes were shining. It was a little like looking directly at the sun.

“I’m going to miss you,” Buck said softly. It was an understatement, but an admission all the same.

“I’m going to miss you, too,” Eddie replied, easy as breathing.

Buck took in the empty room. Right now, the house still smelled like a mixture of Eddie and Chris, with Chris’s scent getting mournfully weaker as each day passed.

They were off work and had removed their LAFD-issued scent patches the day before so Buck could take in the full force of Eddie’s scent. It was sharp, like leather, with a mixture of spicy-sweet notes underneath, reminiscent of cinnamon.

Buck wondered how long it would take for Eddie’s scent in the house to fade completely.

Would 4995 South Bedford Street still feel like home once it was missing all of Chris and Eddie’s things, and the walls lost their scent?

“Hey,” Eddie coaxed, his hand coming up to rest on Buck’s bicep.

“Could you—” Buck started, then abruptly cut himself off. His tongue felt too big in his mouth, and his heart kicked like a beat-drum in his chest. Buck licked his lips. “Could you scent me before you go?”

Scenting was intimate, usually reserved for partners or family members in times of distress. It wasn’t anything new to them, though. They were used to scenting each other after particularly tough calls. However, it had never been like this — in the quiet of Eddie’s barren bedroom, the only light coming from one of the lamps on the floor they hadn’t bothered to pack away yet.

“Yeah, I…” Eddie trailed off, then cleared his throat. “C’mere,” He said, holding open his arms in invitation for Buck to come closer.

Buck didn’t hesitate to snuggle close, sighing as Eddie wrapped himself around him. Buck was bigger than him in every way you could measure, but it never felt like it when Eddie held him like this. Buck’s head buzzed as he got a whiff of Eddie’s scent, strong and steady, right from the source.

Buck expected Eddie to scent his wrist, where it was polite and cordial. If they scented each other at the firehouse, that’s where he usually gravitated toward. Instead, Eddie coaxed him into lying on his back.

Eddie’s eyes were dark as he loomed over him, their bodies pressed together. Then, he leaned down and nosed a stripe up Buck’s neck. He paused briefly over Buck’s mating gland, only for a second, before he did it again.

Buck’s head was swimming as all his senses flooded with Eddie’s scent.

Eddie kept at it, rubbing himself over the spot Buck was most vulnerable. Buck shivered, tilting his head to the side to bare his neck, the perfect picture of Omega submission. He could feel Eddie’s ragged hot breath on the skin of his neck, and he never wanted it to stop. His head was getting hazy, and he wished he could envelop himself fully in Eddie’s scent until he smelled more like him than himself.

Eddie’s arm came up to stabilize himself, giving him more leverage to continue his thorough scenting. Buck didn’t even realize he’d grabbed Eddie’s hand until he brought Eddie’s wrist to his lips. He mouthed wetly at the scent glands on his wrist, doing his best through the fog to scent him back.

If he couldn’t prevent Eddie from leaving, he sure as hell could scent him so that he reeked of Omega his entire trip back to Texas.

Even if Eddie didn’t know, he wanted it broadcasted to the world that Eddie already had an Omega, one that was waiting for him at home.

Eddie groaned, right into Buck’s ear as Buck continued to suck on his wrist. He arched himself closer, wanting to feel the full weight of Eddie on top of him. Buck removed his lips from Eddie’s wrists to take a breath at the same time Eddie kissed Buck’s jaw, working his way up until he mouthed over Buck’s scent gland, wet and hot.

A keen tore its way from the back of Buck’s throat, loud and thready, and that seemed only to spur Eddie on as he sucked harder, nearly imprinting his scent into Buck’s very being.

“Eddie—” Buck moaned, his hands scrabbling to find purchase, twisting themselves in Eddie’s t-shirt.

“Sweetheart,” Eddie whispered, right into Buck’s jugular, and Buck swore every syllable matched a beat of his frantic heart as it thumped in his chest.

“Wanna,” Buck whimpered, his hips jolting on their own volition. “Wanna smell like you.”

They’d never done this before. This was a territory they hadn’t dared cross into. They were intrinsically meshed in each other's lives, unusually close, sure, and would even scent on occasion, but they had never done this.

This was something that lived only in Buck’s deepest fantasies, ones where they didn’t have baggage a mile high or seemingly novel reasons as to not take this final step.

If Buck was going to lose him anyway, he might as well know the full scope of what he was losing.

“Yeah?” Eddie breathed, pulling back just enough that Buck could see his face.

Buck nodded, tightening his grip on Eddie’s shirt, his knuckles going white.

Eddie’s head fell to rest against Buck’s neck once more. “Okay,” he muttered, his lips grazing over Buck’s skin.

One of Eddie’s hands wrapped around Buck’s hip. He kissed the spot where his mouth met Buck’s neck and trailed a line of kisses up to his jaw. “If you want me to stop—”

“I don’t,” Buck cut him off quickly. “Don’t want you to stop.” He licked his lips. “Please, Alpha?” He pleaded, his voice dripping into a whine. He could feel Eddie shudder at being referred to by his designation.

Flames licked at the pit of Buck’s stomach when Eddie’s hand slid down to toy with the waistband of his sweatpants. He’d worn comfy clothes in anticipation of moving furniture, but now his cheeks reddened at the easy access they provided Eddie.

“Can I take these off?” Eddie asked him. It was a little unfair that he expected a coherent answer when Buck was thoroughly distracted by him already dragging them to sit low on his hips.

“Yeah, but,” Buck managed despite his dry mouth. “You, too.”

Eddie’s answering grin was crooked and bordering on feral, and Buck wanted to lick over his pointed fang teeth.

Eddie made quick work in taking off Buck’s sweatpants the rest of the way, leaving him in his thin boxers that didn’t hide his hardened cock, or the rush of slick that was steadily leaking from his hole. Buck twisted his hands in Eddie’s shirt, attempting to urge it up and off. Eddie puffed out a short laugh before reaching behind his neck and shirking it off.

Buck tamped down a whine at having Eddie’s broad naked chest in front of him and within reach.

Buck reached for the waistband of Eddie’s own sweatpants but was halted by Eddie clicking his tongue. Buck’s hands went slack and fell to the floor, another wave of slick leaking out of him.

“These, too,” Eddie said lowly, prying at Buck’s boxers. Buck arched his back, making it considerably easier for Eddie to slip off his boxers.

Buck didn’t have a chance to wallow in the feeling of being exposed because Eddie gathered his discarded clothes, including his own t-shirt, and laid them out on the floor next to Buck.

Buck raised an eyebrow, which was only met by a low chuckle from Eddie. “I want you to turn around, but the floor might hurt your knees.”

Something warm and sweet like honey flickered through Buck’s veins. Eddie was being considerate and doting, just as Buck always thought he would be. Of course, he would. It was Eddie. Even if this was nothing more than a pity fuck because he was leaving, Eddie was still Eddie.

Buck was so in love with him his teeth hurt.

His chest also hurt a little, too.

Buck did as he was commanded, and rolled over onto the pile of clothes — they would be ruined by the time they were finished, and it sent a thrill down Buck’s spine that he’d have to borrow some of Eddie’s clothes the next morning. The pants would be too short and the shirt no doubt too tight, though none of it mattered when they were Eddie’s clothes.

Buck did his best to present, hitching up his legs and balancing on his forearms. His head dipped low, and his nose nearly brushed the floor. His breath hitched in anticipation. He was slightly unmoored, unable to see Eddie. He didn’t know what was going to come next.

He hadn’t realized he had tensed up until he felt Eddie’s hands run soothingly down his flank. He focused on taking in a breath, letting it fill up his lungs. He only released it when his chest began to burn.

He waited for a finger, a touch, anything.

He was balancing on a tightrope, his stomach curling, expecting the shove and eventual drop.

Eddie’s hands covered his ass, trailing softly through the slick that was steadily leaking out of his entrance. Buck gritted his teeth and forced himself not to jump at the contact. Eddie’s hot breath hit his back as his sole warning. Buck shivered, and then Eddie placed a kiss at the base of his tailbone. It would have been chaste, if not for their position, or the way Buck was literally shaking with want.

“God, you’re wet,” Eddie mumbled against his skin as one of his fingers traced around Buck’s rim.

“Yeah,” Buck choked out, not knowing what else to say.

He held himself still, preparing for Eddie’s finger to dip inside.

What he wasn’t expecting was for Eddie to work his mouth down until it was right over Buck’s exposed hole.

The first press of his tongue, seemingly lapping up Buck’s leaking slick, had Buck jolting, and his mouth fell open.

“Oh, fuck,” Buck cried out, his eyes squeezing shut.

Eddie brought a hand up to Buck’s hip, his grip tight, effectively holding him in place. “Easy,” Eddie mumbled against his ass, like he was talking to a spooked horse, and that had Buck whimpering. His hips went to jerk, but he couldn’t move with Eddie’s branding grip. “Can you be good for me?” Eddie prompted in a croon that had Buck immediately going boneless.

“I can be good,” Buck insisted. “I’ll be so good, so good, just, Eddie, please—” He begged, and Eddie seemed to hum in satisfaction.

Eddie’s hand didn’t leave his waist as he dove back in. Buck was grateful. Despite him having a bit more warning for the hot press of Eddie’s tongue at his entrance, he still needed some aid in keeping still.

He wanted to be good for Eddie. He needed to be good.

Buck let out a pitiful noise at Eddie’s tongue working its way in. He groaned against Buck’s ass which caused Buck to punch-out a ragged breath. Eddie’s tongue opened him up as he lapped furiously, like he couldn’t get enough of how Buck tasted.

“Eddie— you gotta—” Buck managed out, his head resting on the floor below him. His knees were threatening to give out, and little zings traveled up his spine with each lap of Eddie’s tongue. “Want you inside me.”

Eddie came up for air, and his hot breath fanned out against Buck’s ass. Even though it had been what he wanted, Buck couldn’t help the whine that escaped him as his hole clenched around nothing, dripping out more slick.

“Greedy,” Eddie murmured with no bite to it as his hand flexed over Buck’s hip. He leaned forward to press a kiss in the divot of Buck’s back. “What do you want?”

Buck’s chest heaved as he tried desperately to get his brain online. “Want your knot,” He managed to say, turning his head so he could catch a glimpse of Eddie behind him. He was achingly beautiful, especially with his dark eyes trained intensely on Buck’s prone form beneath him.

Eddie hummed, running a hand down Buck’s thigh until goosebumps raised along his skin. “You’ll need my fingers first, baby.”

Buck melted at the pet name and attempted to spread his legs wider. “Mmkay,” Buck agreed readily, and he could hear Eddie let out a soft huff of a laugh.

“You’re so easy, sweetheart, when you’re getting what you want,” Eddie said, dragging the pads of his fingers teasingly over Buck’s entrance. If anyone else had called him ‘easy,’ Buck would’ve bristled. He was well aware he’d been a bit of slut in the past, opening his legs for any Alpha, or Beta, or Omega, for that matter, who’d give him an ounce of attention. Eddie didn’t mean it unkindly.

And he was kind of easy for Eddie. He wasn’t wrong.

“Want your knot,” Buck whined as Eddie continued to tease, refraining from sinking in a finger just yet.

“You’ll get it, cariño,” Eddie assured him. “Don’t wanna hurt you.”

“You’d never hurt me,” Buck replied instantly, because it was true. Eddie wasn’t capable of hurting him with any intention. Any hurt Buck carried around was of his own volition.

Eddie didn’t answer him, and at first, Buck worried he’d said the wrong thing; however, he got his response with Eddie slipping in one of his fingers right up to the knuckle. Buck was already slick enough that the glide was smooth, and he sighed happily at the intrusion.

It didn’t take long for Eddie to sink in another one of his fingers.

A little part of Buck knew it was all over once he had two fingers inside of him, working him open gently. He could get used to this. He’d spent so much time imagining what Eddie’s hands would feel like inside of him, and nothing could compare to the real deal. He could feel every minute detail of them, every ridge and callous. The knuckle on his left middle finger was a little crooked from jamming it so many times playing high school baseball, and Buck couldn’t get enough.

Eddie curled his fingers, prodding until they brushed over Buck’s prostate. The effect was instantaneous as Buck keened and jerked his hips back onto his fingers.

“Love your hands,” Buck moaned.

He loved Eddie’s hands. He loved that they were bigger than his, how they nearly took up his entire waist, no matter how much he bulked up. He loved how capable and strong they were as he watched Eddie work on calls. He loved how gentle they could be, when he wanted them to be, like when he was helping Christopher maneuver around or ruffling his hair. He loved the veins that stood out, ones that he wanted to trace over with his tongue.

“That’s it, baby,” Eddie crooned as he fit a third finger inside. Buck was a helpless pile on the floor, grinding back on Eddie’s fingers with punched-out gasps. “You’re being so good for me.”

Eddie rubbed his fingers over Buck’s prostate with a single-minded precision. Buck was out of his mind with every zap of pleasure that ripped through his body. He knew he was making embarrassing whines and whimpers, but he couldn’t control them. He was a little worried about what noises would be torn out of him once he was stuffed full of Eddie’s knot.

“Please, can I have your knot? Please, please—” Buck begged, grinding back on Eddie’s fingers. He’d been dreaming about it for years, and the thought of finally having it inside of him made his whole body light up with desperation.

“Alright, sweetheart,” came Eddie’s voice, hoarse with what Buck hoped was arousal. He removed his fingers from inside Buck only a moment later, and Buck immediately clenched around nothing. A new wave of slick rushed out of him, and he fought the urge to bury his face into the floor. He had no doubt that his entire face, back, and chest were flushed pink.

The steady weight of Eddie behind him left for a second, and Buck let out a pitiful whine.

“Eds?” He asked, turning his head.

“I’m gonna go find a condom,” Eddie assured him, about to stand up.

They had already packed up the entirety of Eddie’s room, and if Eddie did have any condoms, Buck knew they’d be haphazardly thrown in a box somewhere. He didn’t want to wait for Eddie to find them. He needed Eddie back—touching him and hovering over him—more than he needed water or oxygen.

“You don’t have to,” Buck found himself saying, shifting himself slightly so he could look at Eddie properly. Eddie paused, his gaze nearly pinning Buck in place.

Buck licked his lips. “I got tested after me and…” he trailed off, not wanting to say his name, not in this sacred moment between him and Eddie. “After we broke up. I’m clean. I’m on birth control and suppressants, so we don’t have to use one.”

He felt his pulse thunder as he geared himself up to say his next words. “You could fuck me raw, Eds.”

Eddie stared at him with a mixture of dumbstruckness and awe. Buck bit his lip, worried that he had gone too far. He was always laying his cards out too soon. He was too much, and Eddie was just doing him a favor; he wasn’t—

“Jesus Christ,” Eddie said, abruptly cutting off his thoughts. He climbed back on top of Buck with haste, like he couldn’t get close enough fast enough. His hands fretted down Buck’s thighs as if he couldn’t decide where to touch.

Buck sighed happily, sated at having Eddie’s hands on him again. He swallowed down the sudden lump in his throat at the realization that he wouldn’t have this in a few short hours.

He’d have to drink his fill, if that were even possible.

“You really wanna smell like me, huh, baby?” Eddie said, and Buck nodded frantically. If Buck was honest, he wanted them to be so connected that a stranger wouldn’t know where Eddie ended and Buck began. He wanted Eddie’s scent to linger long after he was gone.

“Yeah, Eds,” Buck whispered. “‘Course I do.”

Eddie balanced himself on his knees, and Buck did his best to ready his own self for the first press of Eddie’s bare cock against his entrance. His mouth dropped open as Eddie spread his cheeks and slid his cock through the large gathering of slick.

Buck was grateful Eddie had thought to put their clothes down, if not for the soft protection of his knees and elbows, then to create a barrier between the floor and the copious amount of slick he was producing.

“Oh fuck,” Buck groaned as Eddie decided to withhold his torture and started to inch himself inside.

A part of Buck knew that a small taste of Eddie wouldn’t ever satisfy the cavernous need he had for him in his chest. It was one thing to know that and another to feel every minuscule part of Eddie as he sank inside of him. His cock was thick and perfect as it filled him up. A warmth spread through his chest, like he was coming home, like a puzzle piece he hadn’t realized he’d been searching for had just clicked into place.

Nobody else’s cock or any toy was going to compare now that he knew what Eddie felt like, his hips flush against Buck’s ass and his hot breath on his neck as he covered Buck’s body with his own.

“Shit, baby,” Eddie grunted, his hands bruising as they gripped Buck’s waist. “Fuck, you feel good.”

Buck could feel a dopey grin take over his face. “Good?” He slurred questioningly.

Eddie immediately leaned further down to press kisses to the back of his neck, which had Buck preening and squirming on his cock. “So good, baby, you feel so good.”

Eddie reared back and thrusted, hesitantly. Buck was still getting used to the stretch of his cock as it rocked inside of him, but that wouldn’t do. Buck turned his head. “C’mon, Eds, I’m not gonna break.”

“You gotta give me a sec,” Eddie said, sounding like he was speaking through clenched teeth. “God, how are you this tight?”

Buck jerked his hips back so that Eddie was fully sheathed inside him again. Eddie groaned, and Buck smiled to himself. “Fuck me, Alpha, please?” He whined, egging him on.

“Okay,” Eddie huffed, tightening his grip on Buck’s waist until it was bruising. “You know what, if you're not gonna play nice…” He trailed off ominously before yanking Buck back with a particularly arduous thrust that had Buck’s mouth falling open and him seeing stars.

Eddie fucked into him hard, and Buck scrambled for purchase, his hands sliding uselessly against the floor.

“Oh, fuck, yes,” Buck keened as Eddie nailed into him again and again, finally brushing over his prostate with the head of his cock.

“This what you needed, baby?” Eddie taunted and Buck nodded furiously, feeling like his spine was melting as Eddie fucked him.

“Yeah, Eds, please—” Buck bit out as the sound of Eddie fucking into his wet hole filled the room. It was obscene. “Don’t stop, don’t stop, don’t—” He chanted as Eddie railed him within an inch of his life.

His own hard cock rubbed against the the clothes and floor beneath him, smearing them with precum that leaked steadily out of him.

“Don’t think I could stop if I wanted to,” Eddie admitted, and Buck wished desperately he’d picked a different position so that he could see him. He was sure he was beautiful.

Eddie grabbed a fistful of his hair, lifting up his head, and changing the angle so that he drove inside of him impossibly deeper.

“Eddie,” Buck whimpered pathetically. He could feel his orgasm approaching and mourned it coming so soon. He wanted to hang off Eddie’s knot all night if he could.

“You gonna come already, baby?” Eddie teased, making a flash of heat zing through Buck’s stomach. “Bet you look so pretty when you come.”

“Fuck,” Buck moaned loudly, the syllables drawn out and cracking at the end. “Want your knot so bad.”

“Jesus, fuck,” Eddie groaned, his hips stuttering as his pace slowed. He let more of his weight rest on Buck’s back, swiveling his hips in a dirty grind that prevented him from pulling out too far. It would’ve been a welcome reprieve from his hard thrusts if it didn’t press him right up against Buck’s prostate.

Buck was a slick mess, moaning like a whore into the floor. He felt the beginnings of Eddie’s knot start to plump, and just the thought of it had him close to crying. He’d never been this desperate for a knot before, not even in the throes of his heat.

He needed Eddie’s knot with such an intensity that he was worried he might burst from it. He hiccuped in a short breath, his chest tight.

“Wanna come on your knot,” He pleaded. “Wanna be good.”

“You’re already doing so good, sweetheart,” Eddie promised, and Buck’s heart soared. “You’re perfect.”

Eddie moaned, low in his throat, and Buck tried to sear it into his memory. He was pulled taut, held together by a single string, and Eddie’s words of praise in his ear.

Eddie’s knot grew, and he pounded into Buck furiously, each thrust becoming harder and harder for him to pull out.

As soon as Eddie’s knot fully popped, Buck couldn’t hold back anymore. He came with a shout, clenching around Eddie’s knot as his cock sprayed come all over his belly and the floor. Eddie moaned loudly, his come filling Buck up until some of it began to leak out from where they were joined.

Buck must have blacked out for a bit because the next thing he knew, Eddie had repositioned so that they were lying on their sides, with Eddie curled around him completely.

“You did so good, baby, took me so well,” He murmured into Buck’s shoulder.

“Mmm,” Buck hummed deliriously, his bones gooey and his limbs loose. “Your knot feels so good,” He slurred happily, sinking into Eddie’s warm embrace.

“Yeah?” Eddie said, smiling into his shoulder before kissing it.

“Yeah,” Buck confirmed, tightening around him to milk his knot.

Eddie groaned. “You keep doing that and we’re gonna be here a while.”

Buck tangled their fingers together where Eddie’s hand rested over his stomach. Eddie nosed against his scent gland as Buck tried to regain feeling in his extremities after coming his brains out.

He was sated and fuzzy around the edges. Eddie’s knot felt like home, filling a piece of him he’d always known was missing.

“When your knot goes down, you better get hard again because I wanna ride you,” Buck told him, his brain-to-mouth filter effectively gone.

“Dios,” Eddie muttered, thunking his forehead onto Buck’s shoulder.

They laid there for several minutes. Buck’s mind began to whir. He’d been so stupid. How long could they have been doing this? Was this only because Eddie was leaving, or could he have had Eddie’s knot this whole time? They’d wasted so much time, and now it was slipping from his grasp. The best thing that had ever happened to him was leaving in a few hours, and there was nothing he could do about it.

“Stop thinking so loud,” Eddie chastised, patting Buck’s stomach uncoordinatedly.

“Okay,” Buck whispered. Eddie was probably right. He usually was. Thinking about this now was wasting precious time.

After another few minutes, Eddie’s knot had gone down enough that he was able to pull out. As soon as he peeled himself away from Buck, Buck already missed him.

Was it possible to already miss someone who hadn’t left yet?

Before Buck could do something to ruin the moment, he turned himself to face Eddie, his hands pushing at his chest incessantly.

“On your back, Diaz,” Buck demanded.

Eddie huffed out a laugh. “Greedy,” He teased, though his eyes were entirely fond.

“You know me,” Buck quipped.

“Yeah,” Eddie said, suddenly somber. “I do.”

Eddie dutifully laid himself out, and Buck swung himself on shaky legs to straddle him.

Eddie was gorgeous. Buck knew intrinsically that Eddie was gorgeous, in the way he knew the sky was blue, the sun rose in the east and set in the west, and the people he loved never stayed for long.

It was fitting that he’d only figured out he loved him as he was leaving.

Because Buck did love Eddie, was the thing.

He loved his laugh, his smile, his pointy fang teeth, and brown eyes. He loved him when he was angry, and grumpy, and hell-bent on self-destruction. He loved when he was petty and bitchy as much as when he was kind and tender.

He loved how he never remembered the lyrics to songs, so he’d make up new ridiculous ones that would make Buck laugh.

He loved how his favorite flavors of ice cream were vanilla or blackberry, when they could find it, like an insane person. He loved his technophone tendencies and how he never grew bored of any of Buck’s info-dumping rants, no matter how banal.

He loved him so wholly and completely that, staring down at him, he was sure he would never love another person as much as he loved Eddie Diaz.

A piece of him broke, chipping away like shards of glass as he came to the realization, while another piece of him settled into place.

He’d always belong to Eddie Diaz, even if Eddie was in Texas. It wasn’t a hardship.

As much as it would hurt when Eddie left, Buck couldn’t find it in himself to regret it. He could never regret falling for Eddie.

He was Eddie, and Buck was just lucky enough to have known him and had him for a time.

Buck sucked in a breath, pushing all of those thoughts out of his mind. He wasn’t going to waste what was right in front of him. He would have all the time in the world for that later.

Buck smiled crookedly at Eddie’s pink cheeks. A few loose strands of his hair plastered to his forehead, drenched in sweat. He was breathtaking—the perfect Alpha in every regard.

Buck zeroed in on the scars on his shoulder. Three circular bullet wounds, healed over, and almost unnoticeable if you didn’t know what to look for. Buck pressed chaste, reverent kisses to each one. He lifted Eddie’s wrist as Eddie’s breath hitched, his eyes trained entirely on him. He passed over his scent glands, kissing instead the scar from when he was shot there. He told himself it was for completionist’s sake, despite wanting to kiss every single scar on his body.

He loved him and wanted to keep him.

But like most things in Buck’s life, it wasn’t meant to be.

Buck slid his fingers between Eddie’s so that they were holding hands. “You ready?” He asked, his voice coming out soft rather than cocky like he’d been intending.

Eddie arched his brow, a smirk dancing on his lips.

An ache filled the space behind Buck’s ribs as he yearned to kiss him. He wasn’t sure if that was allowed with what they were doing. It would make it more real, and Buck didn’t know if he could handle that.

“Go on, sweetheart, show me a good time,” Eddie goaded.

“Oh, I’m gonna rock your world,” Buck replied, attempting to hide his shiver at Eddie’s newfound smattering of pet names for him.

Buck glanced down and got a proper look at Eddie’s cock, hardening rapidly as it rested against his belly. Buck had seen it before—their shared locker rooms left little to the imagination—however, this was different. It was thick and veiny, red at the tip and shiny with a mixture of Buck’s slick and his own come. Buck wanted to lick off all the slick and come, to get a good taste of their coupling. He yearned to trace over each one of the veins with his tongue until Eddie would grab his hair and guide his mouth down onto his cock fully. He knew the weight of him on his tongue would satisfy him.

He’d even let Eddie knot his mouth, locking him in place while his jaw ached and his mind floated.

But, if they were running on borrowed time, Buck needed him back inside him more. The one knotting wasn’t enough. He was insatiable, craving as much as he could get in their limited time.

So, Buck sat up on his haunches and wrapped Eddie’s length in a loose grip. He jerked him a few times, making sure he was at full hardness, and Eddie bit his lip, fucking into his fist. As soon as Buck deemed him ready, he lifted his hips and aligned Eddie with his drenched hole.

Buck was already open, relaxed from their previous fucking, and it allowed for Eddie’s cock to slip right in. His body had carved out a place for him.

Buck eased himself down in one motion, burying Eddie inside him to the hilt in one simple glide.

Buck’s head fell back, exposing his throat as he felt Eddie fill up the space inside him once again. His eyes rolled skyward, and his mouth dropped open on a gasp. Eddie was impossibly deep from this angle, and he seemed to take up every inch of Buck, cementing himself into every crack and crevice that Buck hadn’t realized was empty until he was suddenly made whole again.

Buck moaned, immediately grinding onto Eddie’s cock subconsciously until stars painted his vision. “Eddie,” He gasped out, his voice breaking.

“Mierda,” Eddie cursed lowly, his hands rushing to grab onto Buck’s hips. “Buck, sweetheart.”

“Eddie— so good,” Buck panted, not even riding him in earnest. If he could sit on Eddie’s cock all day he’d be happy. He’d die the happiest Omega in the world if it were by being split open on Eddie’s cock.

“Fuck, look at you,” Eddie groaned. “Looking so pretty on my cock. You don’t even know what to do, do you, baby?”

Buck nodded, moaning as he shifted his hips. He slid his eyes open, and he appreciated the view of Eddie prone beneath him, flushed and slack-jawed.

“C’mon, baby,” Eddie crooned, squeezing Buck’s hip. “Thought you were gonna ride me.”

Buck nodded again, frantically. “Mmm gonna,” He slurred, attempting to get his tongue to work. They’d barely started, and yet he was so cock-drunk again he could barely think.

Buck put a stabilizing hand on Eddie’s chest and lifted himself up. He let gravity do the work as he fell back down and Eddie’s cock drove right against his prostate.

“That’s it, baby,” Eddie encouraged sweetly, his words wrapping around Buck like a warm blanket. “I know you can do it.”

Relying on muscle memory alone, Buck bounced himself up and down on Eddie’s cock, picking up the pace until his thighs burned and he could hear Eddie moaning. His pleasure washed over him in waves, buzzing through every inch of his skin. High-pitched whines escaped from his lips as he rode Eddie.

Eventually, his hips faltered, and his thighs shook. “Eddie,” He whimpered. “Eddie, please—”

Eddie, never the slacker and always keen for a two-person job, planted his feet on the floor. “Need some help?” He asked, running his hands up and down Buck’s flank.

“Please,” Buck whispered, and Eddie shushed him.

“I got you, baby, c’mere,” He murmured. Buck collapsed forward, and Eddie tucked him into his neck. Buck burrowed into his scent gland, sucking in his scent greedily.

Eddie grabbed his ass with both hands and jerked his hips up, fucking into him sharply.

“You did so good,” Eddie praised, turning his head to kiss his temple messily. “You were so good for me.”

Buck mouthed at Eddie’s scent gland, careful even in his haze not to go near where a mating bite would be. Eddie’s scent was potent, lathering Buck’s senses as he thrusted into him hard, setting a brutal pace.

“I love–” Buck started, unbidden, before he shut his mouth forcefully, his teeth clacking together.

Too much. Too much. Don’t ruin it. You’ll ruin everything.

“I love your cock,” Buck choked out hastily instead.

“Yeah?” Eddie prodded breathily, as if there was any question.

“Yeah,” Buck confirmed, swallowing around the lump in his throat. He let out a sob as Eddie pounded into him, using all of his momentum to nail Buck’s prostate with every thrust.

“Fuck, baby,” Eddie growled, causing Buck to shudder, leaking out more slick onto his cock. “You ready for my knot again?”

“Mhm,” Buck hummed, the ability to form full words and sentences fucked out of him. “Knot,” He muttered dreamily.

For once, he wasn’t frantically chasing his orgasm. He knew he’d come the second Eddie’s knot popped inside of him, so he let himself get lost in Eddie’s touch. They seemed to be connected at all points. Buck was finally close enough to Eddie, and he basked in it.

He felt Eddie’s knot forming, and a bubbly tingling grew roots from where they were joined, spreading throughout his entire body until he was sure his fingers and toes were tingling, too.

As soon as Eddie’s knot popped and his thrusts ground to a halt, Buck came around his cock with a cry. Eddie groaned, cursing so loudly his voice cracked and his head thunked back, hitting the floor. Buck shuddered, his orgasm intense and wet as he smeared come all over Eddie’s abdomen. He clenched rhythmically around Eddie’s knot, blissed out, with goosebumps rising all over his arms and legs.

He wrapped his legs around Eddie, followed by his arms around his neck. Eddie brushed his hands up and down Buck’s back soothingly. Buck’s ears were ringing — he was positive he’d never came so hard in his life. He clung to Eddie desperately, holding on tight.

“Jesus,” Eddie breathed out, his mouth right by Buck’s ear. He slid one of his hands up to pet through Buck’s curls. “How you doing, baby?”

“Wish your knot would never go down,” Buck mumbled into Eddie’s neck. Buck felt the vibrations of his resounding laugh against his cheek.

“I think that would make life pretty hard,” Eddie mused.

Then you wouldn’t be able to leave me, Buck thought achingly.

As long as Eddie’s knot locked them together, he was still in LA and not in El Paso. If he could get away with chaining Eddie to his wrist, he would, he considered wildly.

He just—

He wished he were enough for Eddie to stay for.

Buck sighed, content on enveloping Eddie like a spider-monkey while Eddie idly played with his hair.

“Am I too heavy?” He wondered out loud, his voice small.

“Nah,” Eddie said easily. “Just right, I think.”

“Okay, Goldilocks,” Buck teased, but his heart wasn’t in it.

He had served his heart out on a platter for Eddie, bled himself dry, and still ended up in the same spot he always did. He had offered his body; his last ditch effort, and it didn’t change a damn thing.

Eddie traced a pattern on his back, something he didn’t recognize, and Buck leaned into his ministrations eagerly.

“You getting tired?” Eddie whispered gently.

Buck’s eyes were at half-mast, and he was exhausted. He feigned sleep, though.

As soon as he went to sleep, it would be morning, and Eddie would leave.

“No,” Buck argued petulantly, tightening his grip around Eddie.

They laid in silence for a few minutes. The house was quiet, quieter than it had ever been now that it was half empty.

“Buck—” Eddie started to say, then cut himself off, shaking his head minutely, seemingly to himself.

No more baby, or sweetheart. He was back to just Buck.

Eddie’s knot began to deflate, and once it fully did, he pulled out of Buck with a wince.

“We can’t sleep on the floor, Buck,” Eddie said when it became clear Buck had no intentions of moving or relinquishing his grip.

“You can’t, because you’re old,” Buck replied, partially on autopilot. It was a familiar refrain.

“By two months,” Eddie said, and Buck could tell without looking at him that he was rolling his eyes.

Nobody would roll their eyes at him like Eddie once he was gone. He was used to the exasperated eye-roll, and occasionally an annoyed one, when he was being too much. Eddie’s eye-rolls were too fond to ever be exasperated or annoyed.

“Alright, c’mon, let's move this party to the couch before we hurt your leg,” Eddie encouraged, patting Buck’s thigh.

“Five more minutes,” Buck bartered, nosing at Eddie’s scent gland.

Eddie sighed. “Three, and we should…” Eddie trailed off. When Buck lifted his head, he saw that Eddie was blushing, a faint pink painting his cheeks. “We should probably put a towel down so we don’t ruin the couch.”

Honestly, it was smart thinking, considering they were coated in a layer of sweat, slick and come. Buck wouldn’t ever get rid of the couch even if they did ruin it. If he had to part with one more thing of Eddie’s, he’d probably have a full-on mental breakdown.

After a few more minutes—it was definitely five, Buck thought smugly—Eddie coaxed them up, righting Buck onto his two, albeit shaky, legs.

True to his word, he took a towel from the linen closet and dutifully placed it over the couch until it was covered to his satisfaction.

“Hold on, I’ll be right back,” He said hastily, leaving Buck alone in the living room.

When he reappeared, it was evident he’d wiped himself down and held out a wet washcloth. Buck went to take it from him, prepared to do the clean-up job himself, but Eddie stopped him.

“Lay down,” Eddie ordered, and Buck followed him, watching with wide, pensive eyes as Eddie climbed on top of him on the couch.

He wiped away the come on Buck’s belly, with focus and precision, dipping between his legs to tenderly clean the mess steadily leaking out of his hole. When he finished, he tossed the washcloth aside and looked at Buck.

Buck didn’t have it in him to be ashamed of the grabby hands he made to reel him in, pulling their bodies flush together.

“Get some sleep, Buck,” Eddie whispered into Buck’s neck.

Buck closed his eyes, pressing his lips together.

“Only if you do, too,” He whispered back.

—

Buck awoke slowly, eased into consciousness with a warm weight smothering every inch of his body and a pleasant soreness rippling through his thighs.

He opened his eyes, greeted by the sight of Eddie’s side profile, the rest of his face obscured due to being jammed into his neck. Blue-gray light filtered past Eddie’s living room curtains, meaning it was a little past dawn.

Their time was almost up.

Buck couldn’t help but run his fingers through Eddie’s hair. It was as soft as he always figured it would be, and a few pesky tendrils insisted on falling forward into Eddie’s face.

Eddie was half-hard, his cock nestled against Buck’s hip. Buck wasn’t too far behind.

He felt Eddie stir after a few minutes, meaning it must be close to six.

Eddie always woke up at six, even on their days off when they had nowhere to be. He blamed it on the military time that had been drilled into him. Buck had joked before that he was better than an alarm clock, even though the thought left him heartbroken. His mind conjured up an impossibly young Eddie, sent off to war and screamed at by drill sergeants until his body permanently altered itself to rise at six on the dot.

“What time is it?” Eddie groaned against his neck.

“Around six,” Buck whispered, continuing to play with his hair.

Eddie hummed. “Did you sleep?”

“A little,” He admitted.

“We should probably get up,” Eddie muttered, but his words didn’t carry much weight considering he buried himself further into Buck’s neck.

“We should,” Buck agreed softly. “Or, you know, we could…” He trailed off. He took a shaky breath in, opening his legs. The movement jostled both of their cocks, nearly rubbing them together. “One more time…for the road?”

Eddie huffed, and the hot air from his mouth blew out along Buck’s neck, causing him to shiver.

“For the road, huh?” Eddie taunted, his voice deep and gravelly from sleep. It was so hot that Buck felt himself starting to get wet. Slick would no doubt run down his thighs if Eddie kept talking to him in that tone. Eddie mouthed at his scent gland. “I should’ve known you’d be trouble.”

“That’s me,” Buck replied, letting his hand fall from Eddie’s hair to rake up his back. Buck tilted his head to the side, giving Eddie more access. “You could probably just…slip right back in.”

“Christ,” Eddie mumbled, slightly garbled. Eddie’s cock was rapidly swelling to full mast and Buck’s chest ballooned with pride.

Eddie pulled away, bracing himself with one arm on the armrest of the couch so he was looming over Buck. He shifted, simultaneous with Buck lifting his hips, allowing for his hard cock to slip between Buck’s legs, teasing at Buck’s wet entrance.

“Fuck, are you always this wet?” Eddie wondered, his sleep voice making him sound considerably more wrecked than he had before.

Yeah, for you. Buck bit his tongue, preventing the sappy words from escaping. Instead, he said, “Sometimes,” vaguely, earning a loud exhale from Eddie.

“Good thing we put the towel down,” Eddie mused lightly. “‘Cause you’re dripping, baby.” His voice dipped into a croon, and Buck keened at the return of the pet name.

He would open his legs endlessly, let Eddie use him for nothing but his body if it meant he would keep calling him by those sweet pet names. He didn’t know how he’d gone so long without them.

Buck whined. “You gonna fuck me, or just fuck my thighs?”

“Now there’s a thought,” Eddie replied darkly, as Buck’s brain threatened to blue-screen. “I’m gonna fuck you, sweetheart, don’t worry,” Eddie assured him, impossibly gentle. “Just—” He paused. “Let me take my time, yeah?”

Buck smiled, trying to hide the sad tinge in his chest, fighting its way to break through. “Yeah, Eds, ‘course.”

Eddie’s cock slid over Buck’s hole languidly as Buck steadily leaked slick and lost his mind. Heat furled in his gut, swirling with a hefty dose of anticipation. Eddie’s cock got wetter and wetter with each glide and Buck clenched around nothing, wanting blisteringly to draw Eddie back inside of him, where he belonged.

“Can’t even imagine you in heat, if this is how you are outside it,” Eddie mumbled, like it was a secret.

Buck didn’t know how to tell him that he wasn’t sure he’d ever been this desperate, even when he was in heat. He assuredly wasn’t, but God it felt like it with the way he had a one-track mind for Eddie’s cock. He now understood addicts on a fundamental level. He’d give anything for his next fix, even if it were bound to hurt him immeasurably once he was sober.

Eddie scented Buck’s neck, and it caused his cock to almost slip inside, catching briefly on Buck’s rim. They both groaned.

Buck squeezed his fingers around Eddie’s shoulders.

A black pit of emptiness opened up in his core, and he needed—

His breath hitched, his lungs stuttering.

“Eds, can you—” He clamped his mouth shut, his teeth clacking violently. He turned his face away.

“No, hey,” Eddie said immediately, hooking one of his fingers under Buck’s chin to make him face him again. “Can I what, baby? Anything,” He prodded, and if Buck didn’t know better, he’d say he sounded reverent.

Buck licked his lips, his next words coming out broken and pitiful. “Can you kiss me?”

Eddie tilted his head and kissed the corner of Buck’s jaw. “Here?” He asked playfully.

He made a considering noise, “Or, how about…here?” He said, then kissed the opposite side of Buck’s face, chastely pecking his cheek.

“Or, I know,” He teased, “Here,” He said, so tenderly that Buck’s chest cracked open wide, splitting neatly down the middle. He pressed his lips to the spot above Buck’s left brow, right where his birthmark was. Buck’s eyes fluttered shut, giving Eddie access to kiss where his birthmark continued under his brow.

Nobody had ever kissed his birthmark—other than Maddie when they were kids or the occasional times as adults when he particularly needed comfort—Abby, Ali, Taylor, Natalia, and Tommy never went near it, as if it was something to be overlooked.

Eddie kissed it like it was something that made him special.

Buck choked back a sob. “Eddie—”

“Shhh,” Eddie hushed him, his lips still on his birthmark. “You said you’d let me take my time.”

Eddie kissed the lashes on each of his eyes gingerly, trailing a smattering of kisses down his cheek until he reached his mouth. He kissed one corner, then the other, and Buck couldn’t take it anymore. He was just a man—he only had so much patience.

He fisted a hand into the hair at the back of Eddie’s head, pulling him forward forcefully into a proper kiss. Eddie groaned into his mouth, and Buck took his opening greedily, licking inside Eddie’s mouth. He traced over every square inch he could reach, attempting to memorize the taste he could only describe as Eddie.

Buck didn’t have an estimate for how long they spent sloppily trading kisses, he just knew that every time one of them pulled away to suck in air the other chased their mouth, yanking them back into another kiss. Buck’s lips tingled, and fireworks exploded behind his eyelids with every flick of Eddie’s tongue.

Eventually, Eddie broke away to pant into Buck’s neck.

Buck stared at the ceiling, so hard and wet from his cock leaking and his hole dripping slick that it was bordering on uncomfortable.

“Did you know that the term ‘tonsil hockey’ originated from slang used by students at North Carolina University in 1986?” Buck blurted out.

Eddie made an undignified choking noise, untucking himself from Buck’s neck to blink at him. His face twisted briefly, and then he bursted into a hysterical laugh, nearly collapsing on top of Buck.

“How do you know that?” Eddie wheezed in between peals of laughter. His shoulders shook with the force of it. Buck wanted to store his laughter in a jar so he could forever keep it around. Eddie should always be smiling and laughing, at least as far as Buck was concerned.

“I read it somewhere,” Buck said dismissively, his face splitting into a wide grin.

“You better send me fun facts every day,” Eddie insisted, and Buck felt his grin slide off at the reminder.

Right. Eddie was leaving.

In a few hours, he’d just be texts on a screen and pixels cobbled together on FaceTime, if Buck was lucky.

It struck Buck then that he was like a dog being tricked into going to the vet. He was gifted with everything he’d ever dreamed of hours before his inevitable euthanasia.

“I will,” Buck promised, swallowing around the lump in his throat. “You done taking your time?”

“Like I said, trouble,” Eddie admonished. “I’m still gonna take my time. Let me make you feel good, baby.”

“Okay,” Buck said easily, as if letting Eddie fuck him would ever be a hardship.

Eddie reached down to lift one of Buck’s legs, and Buck followed the movement, wrapping both of his legs around Eddie’s waist eagerly.

Eddie finally, tantalizingly, guided his cock to rest against Buck’s entrance, slipping inside inch by inch. Buck threw his head back, whimpering at the sensation of being filled again. This time there wouldn’t be another round he could cling to. It was the last time, for real.

“Jesus fucking—” Eddie grunted once he was pressed completely inside, his hips stuttering the moment he was buried to the hilt. “You’re like a vice, cariño, how are you still this fucking tight?”

Buck moaned, scrabbling for purchase until his arms locked around Eddie’s neck.

Eddie reared his hips, grinding into Buck with purpose, and stars flooded Buck’s vision when the head of Eddie’s cock rammed against his prostate. It was so good, so heart-stoppingly, mind-numbingly good that Buck knew he’d never feel like this again. He would be seeking out this pleasure for the rest of his life, unable to replicate it.

Buck’s limbs went pliant as Eddie continued to fuck into him. He didn’t set a brutal pace like before; instead, he snapped his hips intently, making sure that Buck could feel each one.

“Eddie—” Buck chanted his name, his throat clicking over a high-pitched whine.

“You’re doing so good for me, such a good boy,” Eddie told him, never breaking his set pace, even when he bent himself to mouth over Buck’s scent gland. “My good boy.”

Buck’s eyes rolled back, and his hips jerked, fucking himself on Eddie’s cock so each thrust was somehow deeper.

“Yours,” He slurred, and tears prickled at the corners of his lashes. “‘M yours.”

Buck writhed as Eddie only fucked into him harder, and he ripped one of his hands away from Eddie’s neck to grab the hand Eddie wasn’t using for support, tangling their fingers together tightly.

Buck was flayed open, laying himself bare in front of Eddie. Eddie would be taking little pieces of him to El Paso that he’d never get back. He’d waited too long and messed everything up. He’d be a phantom in Eddie’s home, floating through with no Earthly tethers, while everyone who could see him recognized how he didn’t belong.

“Taking me so well, baby, it’s like you were made for me,” Eddie muttered so sweetly that Buck couldn’t stand it. He’d start crying freely if Eddie kept it up. His heart was shattered by the fantasy of actually belonging to Eddie.

The novelty of Eddie calling him pet names had worn off when he was painfully aware that none of this was real. Eddie was doting and kind because he was a good Alpha, and Buck was putting out, there was nothing more to it. He wasn’t Buck’s, and Buck wasn’t his.

“You gonna come for me, sweetheart?” Eddie prompted, his voice low and saccharine.

Buck hauled him into a biting kiss, just to shut him up. He was falling apart at the seams, shuddering with each thrust of Eddie’s hips. Eddie’s knot grew as they panted into each other’s mouths, sharing breaths.

Don’t leave me, Buck yearned to beg. Please don’t leave me like everyone else. I thought you’d be the one person who’d stay.

“You’re perfect,” Eddie murmured right into Buck’s mouth. “Fuck, you’re perfect.”

Buck came with a loud sob that hiccuped in his chest, his cock twitching and spasming as his come splattered across his and Eddie’s stomachs. His hole clenched violently, and Eddie groaned, dropping his forehead to rest on Buck’s. His knot popped a handful of thrusts later, catching on Buck’s rim, grinding him to a harsh stop.

Eddie’s come painted his insides and Buck wished it wouldn’t inevitably all leak out. He wished this was real. He wished Eddie would stay. He wished he was enough for somebody to stay for once in his goddamn life.

He squeezed his eyes shut, willing himself not to cry. He focused on his breathing, the steady ins and outs, his chest rising and falling with each thudding pump of his heart.

They both didn’t speak as Eddie’s knot kept them joined.

Buck was grateful. He knew he’d give himself away if he attempted any banter. His voice would crack and he’d have no defense.

Eddie had torn down every wall he’d ever tried to build and he was paying the price for it now.

When Eddie’s knot waned, Buck let his legs fall—setting him free.

Eddie pulled out gently, and Buck averted his eyes.

The room wasn’t blue anymore. It was filled with a warm, hazey glow. The sun had finished rising. It was a sunny, cloudless day, and the world was cruel and unfair.

“I should probably go shower,” Eddie said, his voice rough, the first words he’d said since the spell had been broken.

Buck nodded, not trusting himself to speak.

Eddie looked like he was going to say something else, but, he didn’t. He removed himself from Buck, stilted and unsure, leaving Buck cold and aching.

Buck waited until Eddie had made his way into the bathroom, shutting the door behind him, to cover his face with his hands. He sat up and realized his entire body was shaking. He pressed the heels of his palms into his eyes, wiping hastily at the few tears that escaped.

He had to pull himself together. This was his own fault. He’d ran entirely on impulse and look where that got him.

Since the shower was occupied, Buck walked on shaky legs into the kitchen, and with each step, they threatened to give out. He soaked a dish towel with water from the sink and wiped himself clean as best as he could. The evidence of everything they’d just done made him feel sick.

He stole a pair of sweatpants and a t-shirt from the stash of clothes Eddie hadn’t packed and shoved them on quickly. He threw on a sweatshirt, too, in hopes it would squander his shivering. He hesitated before shoving his feet into some socks, feeling only slightly better now that every inch of his body was covered in a layer of clothing.

He tossed the dirty dish towel and ruined couch towel into the washing machine to be dealt with later when he had a clearer head.

He gathered up his bleeding heart, attempting to stuff it back into his chest.

Eddie found him after a bit, packing up the last of his boxes, his hair still wet from the shower and dripping onto the collar of his tank top.

“What are you doing?” Eddie asked, seemingly thrown.

Buck ripped off a piece of packing tape with his teeth. He’d never been able to get the hang of the razor edge of the tape rolling apparatus. “What does it look like? All your stuff’s about ready.”

Eddie scratched his arm and shifted on his feet, like he didn’t know what to do. “Don’t you wanna take a shower?”

Buck avoided his gaze, turning his back to fuss with a box that was already packed. “I’ll take one once you’re…” He faltered, the word ‘gone’ getting stuck in the back of his throat. “I’ll use all your hot water then.”

“Buck,” Eddie said, though he followed it up with nothing.

“You should get on the road,” Buck replied, ignoring how each word stabbed right through his sternum. He put on a falsely cheery tone. “You’re wasting daylight.”

“Yeah,” Eddie said, glancing at the living room curtains. “I guess I am.”

Buck slapped the tape in his hands onto the box nearest to him, feeling a little like he was putting the last nail in his own coffin.

“Let’s start loading up the U-Haul,” Buck suggested hastily.

Eddie grabbed his arm as he attempted to move past him, and the action made him freeze. “Buck, I just…thank you.”

Buck gave him a smile that fit wrong on his cheeks. “Sure. It’s what I’m here for.”

Here for a good time, not a long time, his brain finished for him.

Packing up the U-Haul and Eddie’s truck didn’t take as long as Buck thought, since they had moved most of the big items the day before. Within the blink of an eye, they were loading the last box into the U-Haul, and Eddie was sliding it closed with a finality that made Buck’s ribs ache.

“Hey,” Eddie said suddenly, “You packed that shirt Chris was looking for, right?”

Buck smiled thinly. “Yeah, I found it. Make sure you tell him I’m the one who found it.”

“Hey, credit where credit’s due,” Eddie agreed.

They stood on the street, only a foot apart, but Buck knew the distance between them was only about to grow.

“Oh, hold on,” Buck told him, dashing over to his rental truck, which he kind of hated. He’d be relieved when his Jeep was finally out of the shop. He nabbed the bag of cookies he’d been storing in his passenger seat and handed them off to Eddie. “Chocolate chip protein cookies,” He explained, wanting to shove his hands in his pockets to hide how they were shaking. “To give you energy while you’re driving, with no sugar crash.”

Eddie stared at the cookies, so Buck kept talking.

“Don’t forget to save a couple for Chris.”

Eddie’s eyes were wide and out of focus when he met Buck’s gaze. “I’m gonna miss you,” He said emphatically.

“I’m gonna miss you, too,” Buck replied quietly.

Clouds had overtaken the sun unexpectedly during their packing. It was fitting, really, as if nature and the sky had gotten the memo that Eddie was leaving and aligned themselves accordingly. The sun certainly wouldn’t shine as bright without Eddie around.

“Well…” Eddie trailed off after an awkward minute of silence.

“Let me know when you get there, okay?” Buck asked, needing that one last bit of reassurance that their line of communication would remain open with him no longer able to break down his door and demand his attention.

“I will,” Eddie promised. He opened his arms. “C’mere,” He commanded gently.

Buck didn’t have to be told twice. He practically fell into Eddie’s arms, tucking his face into Eddie’s neck and clinging on tight.

Eddie ran his nose along Buck’s scent gland, scenting him one last time. Buck reveled in it, soaking in the rush of cinnamon and spice, heady and overwhelming.

Reluctantly, Eddie pulled back. Buck clenched his teeth around a whine at the loss of him and his warmth.

Eddie began his trek to the driver's side door of his truck, hesitating briefly to turn his head and flash Buck with a heart-stopping grin, his fang teeth on full display.

He was beautiful, ethereal, and the best thing that had ever happened to Buck, only a half-step behind Chris.

Buck was struck then by the story of Orpheus and Eurydice. He’d gifted Chris a book of Greek mythology when he was smaller and going through a Percy Jackson phase. The only rule was for Orpheus not to look back.

Eddie had looked back, and Buck knew then and there that their fate had been sealed.

Buck stood in the street, motionless, even after Eddie’s truck had turned the corner and he was well and truly gone.

A slow drizzle trickled over his shoulders and the exposed skin of his hands, neck, and face. His shoulders dampened, yet he couldn’t find it in himself to move.

He stumbled out of his stupor when a car horn blared behind him, reminding him that he was standing in the middle of the street, blocking any incoming traffic.

He staggered onto the curb, up the driveway, letting himself inside the house that was once Eddie and Chris’s home, that now technically was his, even though it didn’t feel like it. He stayed stock still in the entryway, taking in all the newfound empty space.

With coltish, unsteady legs, he fumbled his way through the living room, collapsing in a heap on the floor. He pressed his back up against the wall, shoving his knees to his chest as a guttural sob tore from his lips.

He cried himself hoarse, snot dripping from his nose and palms drenched in salty tears as he buried his face into his hands.

Eddie was gone.

────────────────────────────────────

“sugar-coated, melting in your mouth.

pardon my emotions,

i should probably keep it all to myself.”

— “bags” / clairo

────────────────────────────────────

THREE WEEKS

────────────────────────────────────

The first few weeks that Eddie was in Texas, Buck found himself practically living on Maddie and Chim’s couch.

He hated staying in Eddie’s empty house. He hated how Eddie and Chris’s scents were slowly dissipating with each passing day. And he especially hated the thought of unpacking his stuff and making the place his own.

He went to his shifts, clocking in and out on time, and answered every one of Eddie’s FaceTimes.

He pretended he was fine.

It was easier that way.

Maddie saw through him, like she always did. Chim expressed his disapproval with jokes, wondering when he was going to stop couch-surfing. Buck shrugged them both off, focusing on spending as much time with Jee as he could. At least she was too young to judge him for his obvious heartbreak.

“I don’t understand why you subletted his house to begin with if you’re not even going to live there,” Maddie said, exasperated, as Buck helped her clear the dishes from dinner.

Buck clinked the dishes he was holding into the sink with a little more force than was strictly necessary. “Mads,” He chided, following it up with a heavy sigh.

“Chimney helped you move all of your stuff over there two weeks ago. How long is it going to take you to unpack?”

Buck hunched his shoulders, unable to look at her. “If you want me out, you can just say so.”

Maddie softened, stacking the plates in her grip into the sink with considerably more grace. “Hey, that’s not what I’m saying. It’s been nice having you help out. I’m just—” She cut herself off, gnawing at her lip. “Buck, I’m worried about you.”

“Well, don’t be,” He said, brushing past her. He slid on the smile he’d been practicing, the one that said I’m sad, but I’m doing okay, really, I am. “I’m adjusting, that’s all this is.”

Maddie hesitated, seeming to choose her next words carefully. “And if they don’t come back? Are you going to sublet his house forever?”

Buck grabbed the counter, digging the edges into his palms, and bowing his head. “Don’t—” He clenched his jaw. “Don’t say that.”

“This feels like Abby all over again. I don’t want to see you hurt again,” Maddie said, her voice trembling.

Buck turned to face her. “I think it’s a little late for that,” He admitted quietly. “I’m gonna…” He gestured weakly towards the couch. “I’m gonna head to bed.”

Maddie gave him space for an hour, then brought him a mug of tea. She sat next to him on the couch, tucking her legs primly underneath her. Her bump was just beginning to show, and Buck wondered when they would start telling people she was expecting.

“I didn’t mean to upset you,” She said gently as a peace offering.

Buck stared into his mug. “You didn’t,” He said grimly. “You’re not the one who left.”

“You’re welcome here as long as you need, okay? Jee can graduate high school with an uncle who sleeps on our couch for all I care,” Maddie teased, resting her head on Buck’s shoulder.

Buck huffed out a laugh, smiling thinly. “Thanks, Mads.”

────────────────────────────────────

FOUR WEEKS

────────────────────────────────────

One month into Eddie’s departure, Buck was willing to admit, at least to himself, he was beginning to feel a bit run down.

He’d overslept three times in the past week, only woken up by Chimney harshly shaking him awake before their shifts. He found himself dozing off more than usual in between calls, and begging off to the bunk room as soon as he’d showered and changed out of his turnouts.

By the end of the week he’d decided that enough was enough. Maddie, Chim, and certainly Jee didn’t deserve to bear witness to him falling into a depressive funk. He needed to sort his shit out, and that meant facing Eddie’s house.

He waited until Chimney took Jee out for a playdate and Maddie was at work. He packed up all the essentials he’d dragged to their house into the worn duffle bag he used to travel the world once upon a time. It had been over a decade since then, and yet, everything he needed still fit in a single bag.

He left a simple note on the counter, so they wouldn’t worry when either one of them came home and found him gone, and made his exit.

The familiar drive to Eddie’s house was quiet. He didn’t have the energy to put on any of his playlists. Instead, he drove in silence, thrumming his pointer finger against the steering wheel.

He unlocked the door to the house, his duffle bag slung over his shoulder. When he stepped inside his knees almost buckled at Eddie’s scent lining the walls. It still smelled like him, almost stronger now that Buck had been away for so long. He dropped the duffle bag onto the floor and collapsed onto the couch.

His mind flashed back to Eddie fucking him on the couch, calling him baby, and kissing him. His hands traced over the cushions like it was something delicate; his last physical tether to Eddie.

He curled in on himself, burying his face into the fabric that smelled like Eddie.

He was so tired, and his chest ached, and ached, and ached.

He cried himself to sleep, swearing to himself that this would be the last time, even though he knew deep down it wouldn’t be.

—

When he woke up in the morning, he was greeted with a rolling stomach and nausea so violent he barely had time to stumble off the couch and into the bathroom. He crashed down onto his knees, dry heaving into the toilet.

He laid on the floor for a good while after his dry heaving ceased, feeling appropriately sorry for himself.

He hauled himself up, shaking from head to toe. The glance of his reflection in the mirror made him wince. His eyes were red and puffy, framed by spidery, popped blood vessels. Great. The last thing he needed on top of everything else was to be coming down with something.

He braved going into Eddie’s bedroom to steal the well-worn old issue LAFD hoodie from one of the boxes he’d decided to leave behind after noticing the string of spit he’d gotten on his shirt. He slipped it over his head, digging his nose into the material to soak in as much of Eddie’s scent as possible.

It was pathetic. He was pathetic. But at the moment, he didn’t care. It seemed to ease his nausea momentarily, and that was all that mattered to him.

He stole another shirt from the box to use as a pillow and returned to the living room. He lifted his phone out of his pocket to place an order for soup in hopes it would settle his stomach.

His phone lit up, showing that he had several missed calls from Maddie and Chim, as well as a missed FaceTime from Eddie.

Eddie had texted him a picture of truly horrifying wallpaper that apparently lined the walls of his new house.

5:23 AM [Eddie]: You used to work construction right? What’s the best way to get rid of this junk?

Buck thumbed out a reply before he could stop himself.

8:47 AM [Buck]: idk looks like a lost cause

He snorted to himself. He felt a little like the wallpaper — a lost cause.

8:49 AM [Buck]: the first trace of wallpaper was handpainted on rice paper in china around 200 bc and it spread to the middle east through prisoners of war

8:50 AM [Eddie]: Well that was fun until the prisoners of war part

8:51 AM [Eddie]: Thanks for the fun fact

8:51 AM [Eddie]: You free for a call later?

8:52 AM [Buck]: i’ll have to check my busy social calendar. see if i can pencil you in

8:52 AM [Eddie]: Fuck off

Buck smiled despite the pang of loneliness that wracked through him.

He closed out of the messaging app and ordered a large heaping of soup from the deli not too far down the road. Once his order was placed, he rolled up Eddie’s shirt, curving his body into a fetal position on the couch and shoving his face into his makeshift pillow.

He tapped Chimney’s contact, bringing his phone to his ear.

“Oh thank fuck,” Chimney answered after only three rings. “Please tell me you’re at your house and not calling from a ditch.”

“Eddie’s house,” Buck corrected automatically. “I left a note.”

Chimney sighed. “You can’t just leave like that, buddy. You scared the hell out of your sister.”

“You guys wanted me out. I thought you’d be happy,” Buck reasoned, biting back a yawn.

“I want it stated for the record that is patently untrue,” Chimney quipped. “Look, you’re always welcome here, Buckaroo. The vanishing act was not cool.”

“I think I’m coming down with something,” Buck said, not technically lying. “I didn’t wanna get Jee sick.”

Chimney paused. “Do you need anything? Do you have a fever?”

“I don’t think so, and no, I’m good. I ordered some soup. I’ll be fine.” Buck said, his energy already waning from the brief phone call. “Just need some sleep.”

“You call me or your sister if you get a fever, alright? I mean it, Buck,” Chimney commanded.

“Yeah, I got it,” Buck replied. “‘M gonna sleep now,” He said, his words slurring around the edges.

“Eat the food you ordered, then sleep,” Chimney instructed, and Buck hummed.

“Okay.”

Heeding Chimney’s thinly veiled threat, Buck managed to stay awake long enough to collect his soup from the harried DoorDash driver and choked down half of it.

He fell back asleep, nose pressed against Eddie’s shirt.

He didn’t dream.

────────────────────────────────────

SIX WEEKS

────────────────────────────────────

Buck’s self-proclaimed flu didn’t get better with each passing day. If anything, it only worsened.

Food of any kind other than smoothies, tea, and the occasional soup broth was his new enemy.

He woke up every morning with the most intense nausea he’d ever experienced in his life, making his throat sore and raw.

Everything made him nauseous—the sight of blood on calls, which had never bothered him before, the smell of the locker room, the smell of the firetruck, the smell of any passing Alpha on the street or in the grocery store, even Bobby’s famous mac and cheese that he loved with fervor only lasted in his stomach for forty five minutes before he threw it up in one of the trash cans behind the station.

Smells he’d never noticed previously sickened him, and their LAFD special issue scent patches barely worked. Buck could smell every minute detail, like he’d gained the most fucked-up superpower in the world overnight.

The only thing that helped was Eddie’s clothes, shoved up against his nostrils, and he could only manage that when he was home, off-shift. His supply was dwindling, though, and he didn’t know what he’d do once he ran out.

All of the restless energy that coursed through his veins had evaporated.

He was so tired.

He was sure he’d never been this tired.

Coffee didn’t help. The smell of it alone had him holding back gags.

His joints ached and his bum leg had started to act up again, flaring with pain that made him dizzy whenever he stood up too fast.

He’d attempted to move in some of belongings, so that Eddie’s house was livable, but even that left him sweaty and breathless after barely an hour of labor.

He had caved and called Chimney over to help him set up his bed after he’d wretched three separate times trying to do it on his own.

Chimney frowned at him the entire time, stealing concerned glances whenever he thought Buck wasn’t looking.

He wanted to keep sleeping on the couch. He’d cried when he had to resign to the fact that sleeping on it for a few weeks straight was hurting his back too much.

The crew at work was beginning to notice he was off his game. He heard how their frantic whispers would cut off as soon as he entered a room, and Bobby frowned at him more often than not.

They all frowned at him, like he was a sick puppy they hadn’t decided what to do with.

“Is that all you're eating?” Hen asked him after he painfully choked down a portion of Bobby’s lasagna that was a fourth of what he normally ate. He bit his tongue, not wanting to spill the truth that he had considered the meal a success, having eaten more in one sitting than he had in the last 24 hours combined.

Even Eddie, all the way in Texas, had opened their nightly FaceTime call with furrowed brows. “Woah, you look like shit.”

“Thanks,” Buck croaked out from under a bundle of covers. He was shivering. He couldn’t stop shivering. Wearing a long-sleeve shirt under his uniform in the blistering LA heat didn’t calm it.

Bobby cornered him in the locker room after he’d approached week seven of Eddie being gone.

“Kid, I’m worried you’re not taking care of yourself,” He’d said with quiet concern and pleading eyes.

“I’m fine, Bobby,” Buck said monotonously. He didn’t have enough energy to inflect his voice with any passion to be remotely convincing.

Bobby pressed his lips into a thin line. “We all feel Eddie’s loss on the team. I know it’s been rough without him.”

Buck flinched at the sound of Eddie’s name. “I’m fine, Bobby, really,” Buck said, scrubbing at his eyes.

Bobby sighed heavily. “I’m here if you wanna talk.”

Buck saluted him weakly, keeping his eyes on the floor. He waited until he saw Bobby’s boots walk out of the locker room to high-tail it to the bathroom to puke.

────────────────────────────────────

EIGHT WEEKS

────────────────────────────────────

The thing was, Buck knew he should have called in sick.

He had plenty of sick time accrued purely due to the fact that he rarely ever called in sick.

It was just — going into work on his usual schedule was one of the only things keeping him normal and sane.

He’d reached the point that his shivering was a near constant, having practically lost the ability to regulate his own body temperature. He checked for a fever every day, but so far, no dice.

He was running on fumes, with an empty stomach and his hands shaking.

He still went to work, though.

With an empty house, no Eddie, and no Christopher, he didn’t have anything else.

Their first call of the day wasn’t anything out of the ordinary. It was routine, even. A minor fender bender was blocking a street downtown, and all they needed to do was check on each driver and clear the road.

Buck followed Chim blindly, going through the motions of procedure on autopilot.

He blinked, and the guy was out of the car, with Chimney checking his pupils. He couldn’t remember doing anything, or how he’d gotten to where he was.

“Buck? Hey, Buck!” Chimney yelled, and judging from his tone, it wasn’t the first time. Buck peered at him sluggishly. “Can you tell Bobby I’m gonna need more gauze?”

“Yeah, I can— I can do that,” Buck said hoarsely, stumbling over his words.

The man they were treating turned his head to look at him incredulously. He had a gash on his forehead that trickled blood down to his neck.

“What’s wrong with your guy?” He demanded with clear annoyance, waving his hand in Buck’s general direction.

His movement caused his scent to flood Buck’s nostrils. He was an Alpha, and the smell of him was so wrong it had Buck’s stomach rolling with a vengeance.

Wrong. Wrong. Wrong.

All of the hairs on Buck’s neck stood up, and he staggered back, one step, then two.

He smelled like the beach, like sand and saltwater and fresh air.

Buck realized with dawning horror two seconds before it happened that he was going to be sick.

He gagged, his throat clicking around the awful sound. His body curled in on itself, bending over as he clutched his stomach, throwing up nothing but warm, acid-tasting water and spit onto the pavement.

He didn’t have anything else in his system.

“Jesus Christ, Buck!” He heard a voice say distantly, sounding vaguely like Chimney, as a hand grabbed his shoulder. “Bobby! I need you over here now!”

Buck’s ears were ringing, and he couldn’t see in front of him. Black spots danced across his vision. He tried to grab at Chimney, but he couldn’t get his hands to work.

He felt his knees buckling, and that was the last thing he remembered before everything went black.

—

He woke up with a start in a hospital bed, the fluorescent lights piercing.

His head throbbed. He went to cover his eyes with a groan, only to see that he was hooked up to an IV.

Oh. Awesome. Just when he thought this day couldn’t get any better.

He attempted to sit up, that, however, only served to make him dizzy, so he immediately flopped back down.

“Hey, easy does it, kid,” came Bobby’s voice from his left. “Glad to see you’re awake.”

“Water?” Buck croaked out, noticing his mouth was dry and filled with a rancid taste that lingered unpleasantly.

“I’ll get you some. Hang on,” Bobby instructed gently, leaving his field of vision.

He came back a few minutes later, brandishing a cup of water with a white bendy straw. “Slow and steady, we don’t need you getting sick again.”

Buck took a few sips that soothed his raw throat.

“What happened?” He rasped, then sipped even more water. God, he was thirsty.

Bobby sat down in the chair next to Buck’s bed, his frame lined with tension. “You passed out when we were on a call.”

Buck winced. “I’m sorry,” He mumbled, and shame rose in his belly.

Bobby sighed. “I don’t want you to be sorry, kid.”

“Have the doctors said anything?” Buck prodded.

Bobby shook his head. “Not anything more than what we already knew when we brought you in. You’re severely dehydrated, and your blood sugar was low. Hen blew three veins before she could get an IV in.”

Buck glanced at his arm, taking note of the forming bruises he hadn’t noticed initially upon waking.

“You’ve given us all quite a scare,” Bobby said meaningfully. “If you were feeling this bad, why didn’t you say anything?”

“It’s not— I wasn’t—” Buck rushed out, tripping over his words. He didn’t know exactly what he was going to say, but he was relieved when a doctor entered his room and cut him off.

“Mr. Buckley,” She greeted warmly, smiling at him gently. “We’re happy to see you awake,” She said, nearly mirroring Bobby’s words from a few minutes prior.

Buck returned her smile as best as he could. “What’s my verdict, doc? How soon do you think I can get out of here?”

Bobby bristled from his seat. “You ran some tests after you took his blood, right? Have you gotten any results yet?”

“We’ve gotten some results, yes,” the doctor confirmed, rolling a tray over to Buck’s bedside with a laptop propped on top. “I’m Dr. Hill, by the way.” She clicked a few things on her laptop, then slid her gaze to Buck. “We were going to contact your emergency contact due to you being incapacitated, but haven’t gotten around to it yet. Would you like us to still contact them?”

Buck’s blood ran cold. “No,” He said vehemently, and the force of it nearly made Bobby jump. He eyed Buck curiously, and Buck cleared his throat, flushing. “No, I— you don’t need to call them. It’s all good. I have my captain here, and he has my full consent to hear everything. We don’t need to involve my emergency contact.”

Dr. Hill frowned. “Would you like to change your emergency contact?”

Buck ducked his head, playing with the hospital sheets between his fingers. “No, I want to keep it. Just. We don’t have to call him right now. There’s nothing he can do.”

“Okay,” Dr. Hill agreed skeptically, then cleared her own throat awkwardly. “Well, the first round of blood tests has revealed a few things that could explain your condition. I’m afraid I have some good news and bad news.”

Buck bit his lip, glancing at Bobby fretfully. “What’s the bad news?”

Dr. Hill tucked a loose strand of dark hair behind her ear. “The bad news is that your blood test has come back positive for markers of mild Omega Abandonment Syndrome, though, we can get started on the treatment for that with supplements and various therapies. We’ll want to keep an update on your progress, considering your condition.”

Buck felt like he was back in the tsunami. His head was underwater, and he couldn’t take a deep breath.

“I’m sorry. Are you saying I have OAS? But that’s— I’m not— I’m unbonded,” Buck said frantically.

Dr. Hill looked away from her computer, twisting her lips as she took in the lack of a bond bite mark on his neck. “Yes, well…” she trailed off uncertainly.

“You said ‘considering his condition,’” Bobby jumped in hastily. “What do you mean by his condition?”

“Ah, right,” Dr. Hill said. “Your bloodwork also came back with elevated hCG levels. We won’t have an estimate of where you’re at to term until we do an ultrasound. Congratulations are in order, Mr. Buckley. You’re pregnant.”

“No, t-that has to be wrong,” Buck stuttered, protesting immediately. “I’m on birth control and suppressants. I haven’t— I haven’t had a heat in months.”

Dr. Hill frowned. “We can run another blood test if you want, Mr. Buckley, however…” She double-checked something on her laptop. “Your hCG levels are elevated to a point that I feel comfortable with the results. We’ll have even more of a confirmation with an ultrasound.”

“This can’t be happening,” Buck muttered, staring at Bobby’s slackened expression with wide eyes.

“We can make arrangements to terminate the pregnancy if that’s what you desire,” Dr. Hill said softly. “Unfortunately, by law, you have to undergo an ultrasound first.”

“I don’t want to—” Buck started to say, bringing his free arm to cover his abdomen protectively without conscious thought.

“I think he just needs some time to process this information,” Bobby said placatingly, offering Dr. Hill a polite smile. “Would you mind giving us some time?”

“Of course,” Dr. Hill replied curtly. “Someone should be in shortly for the ultrasound.”

As soon as she had left the room, Buck flung himself into a sitting position. “Bobby? What am I going to do? I can’t be—”

“Woah, okay, deep breaths,” Bobby commanded, getting up from the chair to stand by Buck’s bedside. Buck hadn’t realized he was hyperventilating until Bobby brought a hand to his shoulder. “Match my breathing, alright, kid? Everything’s going to be okay. Just breathe.”

Buck sucked in a hasty lungful of air, his ears ringing. He breathed out, doing his best to match Bobby’s encouraging, exaggerated breaths.

“That’s it, easy does it,” Bobby comforted, letting them breathe together until Buck felt less like he was on the verge of a panic attack.

Tears flooded Buck’s eyes, trickling wetly down his cheeks. “Bobby,” He croaked, his voice cracking. “What am I going to do?”

“Well, first thing’s first, you’re gonna get that ultrasound,” Bobby said reasonably. “We’ll go from there I guess.”

Buck’s mind was spinning out of control. There was no way. He couldn’t be.

He hadn’t even been in heat.

“I can’t tell him,” Buck choked out.

“Hey, it’s going to be okay,” Bobby soothed, patting Buck’s shoulder. “Look, you’ll talk to Tommy and sort everything out. I know you two didn’t end on the best of notes, but—”

“It’s not Tommy’s,” Buck bit out vehemently, feeling a little sick at the mere suggestion. “Bobby, it’s not Tommy’s.”

Bobby blinked, seemingly taken aback. “Okay,” He said, drawing out the syllables in the word. “Do you… do you know who the father is?”

Buck shrugged off Bobby’s touch, burying his face into his hands. “This is a fucking mess.”

“Buck, we’ll find whoever the father is, and I’m sure—”

“It’s Eddie’s,” Buck said, feeling like he might as well reveal the truth. In for a penny, in for a pound. If Bobby was going to attempt to comfort him, he should know the full extent of the mess Buck currently was in.

“Oh,” Bobby said, looking as appropriately shell-shocked as Buck felt. “Oh, Buck.”

“This wasn’t supposed to happen,” Buck said for what was maybe the millionth time.

“I didn’t realize you two were…that you two…” Bobby said awkwardly.

“We aren’t,” Buck insisted, wiping at his eyes furiously to clear away his tears.

“So when did you…?” Bobby asked.

“The night before he left,” Buck admitted. “It wasn’t. We weren’t. It was just supposed to be a one-time thing.” Buck took in a shuddered breath.

“This does complicate things,” Bobby conceded after a moment.

Buck couldn’t help himself, he let out a wry laugh. “Like I said. This is a fucking mess.”

“Buck,” Bobby sighed. “I know this might not be ideal, but you have a whole collection of people around you who love you and will be there for you. We’ll have your back, kid. You don’t have to worry about that.”

Buck’s breath hitched, and he looked up at Bobby with watery eyes. “Do you think he’ll hate me?”

Bobby sat down in the chair heavily, and ran a hand over his face. “You might not believe me right now, Buck, but I don’t think there’s a single world out there where Eddie could hate you.”

Buck shook his head. “You can’t know that,” He said quietly. “I can’t tell him, Bobby. He’s trying to work things out with Christopher and I won’t screw that up for him. I would never forgive myself if I ruined their relationship.”

“Okay, Buck,” Bobby said calmly. “Why don’t we take this one step at a time first? The first step is making sure that you’re healthy.”

“Okay,” Buck agreed reluctantly.

“Do you want me to call Maddie?” Bobby asked, already pulling out his phone.

“I—” Buck fumbled. “Not yet.” He skirted Bobby’s gaze. “She just has so much on her plate right now, and I don’t… I need to get my head on straight first.”

Bobby raised one of his brows, and Buck huffed.

“If I tell her, Chimney will end up finding out, and you know how he is, Cap. He’ll end up telling Eddie somehow, and I can’t deal with that right now,” Buck explained, on the verge of panicking again.

“Even so,” Bobby conceded, “Don’t you think—

His words were abruptly halted by another doctor flurrying into the room.

“Hello,” the new doctor greeted, seeming unconcerned at the conversation she had just interrupted. “I heard we’re in need of an ultrasound?”

“Umm, yeah,” Buck said, shifting uncomfortably on the bed.

“This shouldn’t take too long,” the doctor said sympathetically, wheeling in an ultrasound machine with her, as if the duration of it was what had Buck wanting to crawl out of his skin. “We’ll be able to listen to the heartbeat and also determine how far along you are. From there, you can decide whether you would like to continue with the pregnancy, and we’ll put together a care plan.” She glanced at Buck expectantly. “Does that sound good?”

Buck nodded, unsure of what to even say.

“Alright, now if you don’t mind, I’ll need you to pull down your gown to expose your stomach,” she instructed kindly, sitting on a rolling stool that was placed in the corner of the room. Buck did as she said, shoving down his thin hospital gown so that he was fully shirtless. He bunched the fabric around his waist so that his lower half wouldn’t be exposed, too.

“This might be a little cold,” the doctor said before squirting a generous portion of goopy jelly onto his bare stomach. Buck shivered.

Buck squinted to read the name on the doctor’s lab coat, making out what he assumed to be “Dr. Cho,” and tried to relax as much as he could as she pressed the ultrasound wand to his stomach. Her eyes were completely on the ultrasound screen as she methodically waved the wand back and forth.

A thudding heartbeat made itself known from the tinny speakers of the ultrasound machine, and Dr. Cho smiled. “We have a healthy fetal heartbeat.”

“Bobby, can you—” Buck said thickly as a wave of tears clouded his vision. “Can you hold my hand?”

Bobby didn’t hesitate in clasping Buck’s outstretched hand. “I got you, kiddo.”

“I’m gonna have a baby,” Buck whimpered, his tears falling freely now.

He was going to have a baby. Eddie’s baby. In Buck’s chest was a cocktail of emotions, though the main one he couldn’t help but focus on was joy. It didn’t matter how their baby came to be or the consequences that would come after. All that mattered right now was that he was having a baby, and he would move heaven and Earth to protect them.

Buck was so caught up in listening to the heartbeat that he missed Dr. Cho’s brows furrowing as she examined something closer on the screen.

It didn’t escape Bobby’s notice. “Everything look okay?” He asked.

“Hmm,” Dr. Cho hummed noncommittally. “Let me just check…” she trailed off, moving the wand to a slightly lower region on Buck’s stomach. The heartbeat they’d all been listening to suddenly changed in frequency, thudding a bit stronger and slower.

“Did something happen?” Buck demanded anxiously. “Is something wrong?”

“Nothing’s wrong,” Dr. Cho assured, her face smoothing. She pointed to a small speck of white on the screen. “That’s Baby ‘B.” She shifted the wand, and the heartbeat returned to what it had sounded like before. “And that’s Baby ‘A’.”

Bobby sucked in a sharp breath as Buck’s eyes widened. “Wait, does that mean…?”

“It looks like you’re having twins, Mr. Buckley,” Dr. Cho said delicately. “Everything looks good, and their measurements seem to be in range. I would estimate that you’re at about eight weeks along. The twins would explain why your hCG levels were so elevated despite you not being that far along.”

“Bobby,” Buck hissed. “Twins!”

Buck was relieved that Bobby seemed as shocked as he was. “You two could never do things in halves, could you?”

“No,” Buck agreed. “I guess not.” Buck craned his neck to get a better view of the screen. He tried to connect what he was seeing with his body.

He had two of Eddie’s babies inside of him.

He thought of the monkey’s paw. Here he was, with Eddie’s babies, but no Eddie to show for it.

“You said they’re healthy, right? That everything’s on track?” Buck prompted, his mind running a mile a minute as he considered how sick he’d been. It felt like he’d barely eaten any substantial food in weeks, and he was dehydrated enough to need an IV.

“Yes,” Dr. Cho confirmed. “So far, you’re doing a great job.”

“I’ve been really nauseous,” Buck admitted. “Keeping food down is a big problem for me right now. Is there anything I can take to help with that?”

Dr. Cho nodded while pulling out an absorbent sheet to wipe the ultrasound jelly from his stomach. “There are a few medications we can try. If you’re planning on continuing with your pregnancy, we’ll want to set you up with a primary OBGYN. I’ll give you a pamphlet of doctors in your network, and I’ll highlight the ones who specialize in male Omega pregnancies. Your OBGYN will have their own recommendations, but we can give you a prescription to take home so you’ll have an easier time with food in the meantime.”

“Thank you,” Buck expressed earnestly, sheepishly tucking himself back into his hospital gown now that the ultrasound was over.

“Do you want any pictures to take home?” Dr. Cho inquired, walking over to the sink in the corner of the room to wash her hands.

“Yes,” Buck said enthusiastically.

“I’ll be back in with your print-outs, prescriptions, and pamphlet momentarily,” Dr Cho told him. “I think once you finish your fluids you should be able to be discharged, as long as you have someone at home to monitor your care.”

“Sounds good,” Buck said, and eyed Bobby warily.

Dr. Cho nodded, sweeping out of the room and taking the ultrasound machine with her.

“Are you sure you don’t want me to call Maddie? I’m not letting you go home alone,” Bobby said sternly as soon as they were alone.

“I’m sure I’ll be fine,” Buck said, and shrank when Bobby frowned at him.

“If you’re not going to tell Maddie, then I’m afraid you’re coming home with me,” Bobby said in a tone that left no room for arguments.

Buck gnawed on his lip. “We can tell Athena,” He said after briefly mulling it over. “I don’t want to force you to keep secrets from your wife.”

“I’ll tell her to set up the spare room,” Bobby said decisively, then leveled Buck with a hard look. “I hope you know that you’re not going back to work for at least a week, maybe longer, and when you do, you’ll be on light duty.”

Buck sighed loudly. A part of him wanted to argue, though he knew he had no leg to stand on. His entire world had just been flipped on its axis. He wasn’t only worrying about himself anymore; his entire focus had to be on keeping Eddie’s babies safe. It made the pill of light duty considerably smoother to swallow.

“Yeah, okay, that’s fair,” He conceded. “I don’t know what I’m going to tell the team.”

“You can leave that up to me,” Bobby dismissed. “The only thing I want you to be worrying about is eating and sleeping.”

“Let’s hope that prescription works,” Buck replied darkly. “I don’t think I’ll be able to stomach anything solid without it.”

“We’ll get you sorted out. Everything will be fine, kid,” Bobby assured in the way that made Buck feel warm and protected all over.

Buck pursed his lips. “Let’s just hope you’re right.”

Chapter Text

—

Buck lasted about two minutes walking through the door of Bobby and Athena’s temporary apartment—when Athena said, “Oh, Buckaroo,” in her tenderly motherly croon, usually saved for when he’d really screwed up—before he immediately burst into tears.

She crossed the kitchen at a record speed to bundle him into her arms.

“It’s alright, baby,” She soothed, taking most of his weight with surprising strength. She guided them to the couch as Buck cried wetly against her neck.

“I’m having a baby, ‘Thena,” Buck sobbed a little hysterically. “Two babies, and he’s—” He hiccupped embarrassingly. “He’s gone.”

“So I’ve heard,” Athena said, rubbing his back. “It’s okay, let it out, honey.”

“I don’t know what I’m gonna do,” Buck blubbered, selfishly soaking in all the comfort she was doling out. “I can’t… I don’t think I can do this alone.”

“Hey,” Athena chided, pulling Buck’s face out of her neck so he could look her in the eye. Her brown eyes reflected determination and impassioned fury. “You are not alone. You have a whole support system behind you, baby. Don’t you think for even a second that you’re alone. We are all here for you, you hear me?”

Buck sniffled. “He’s gonna hate me,” He insisted miserably. “This is all my fault.”

Athena clicked her tongue. “Last time I checked, it takes more than one person to make a baby.” She sighed softly. “And you and I both know that boy could never hate you.”

“You don’t get it,” Buck said, feeling despondent over the fact that he was getting snot all over her nice sweater. “I screwed everything up.” A fresh wave of tears trickled down his blotchy cheeks. “I’m in love with him, and he doesn’t— I know he doesn’t feel the same.”

“And how do you know that?” Athena chided, as if she were speaking to a small child. Buck felt like one, wrapped in her arms. He was a baby about to have two of his own. Christ. “Did he tell you that?”

“He didn’t have to,” Buck said stubbornly. “He would’ve told me by now if he did.”

“And have you told him that you love him?” Athena prodded knowingly.

Buck averted her gaze. “No,” He whispered.

Athena hummed, sounding unimpressed. “It seems like you boys should do more talking.”

“Why don’t I get started on dinner?” Bobby said quietly, making his way over to their kitchen. “We need to get some food in you.”

“I don’t know how much I’ll be able to eat,” Buck warned. He dropped his head back onto Athena’s shoulder. “I’ve been so sick.”

“I can only imagine,” Athena said sympathetically. “It didn’t hit me too hard with May, but with Harry? I was sick as a dog for months.”

“They gave me medicine at the hospital that’s supposed to help. Bobby made me take some in the car.” Buck told her.

“That was good thinking,” Athena murmured, shooting a warm glance at her husband. She patted Buck’s cheek. “I set up the spare bedroom. You’ve had a long day. Why don’t you try to get some sleep? We’ll get you up when dinner’s ready.”

“Okay,” Buck agreed, already waning from the dramatics of the day and his non-stop tears. “Thank you.”

“No need to thank us, baby,” Athena assured. “We’re here for whatever you need.”

—

Buck was woken up a handful of hours later by Athena gently shaking him awake. She brushed his messy curls from where they were plastered to his forehead.

“We wanted to let you sleep for a while,” She explained as Buck blinked up at her groggily, taking in the dark room. “I think it’s time for you to try and eat something.”

Buck’s stomach rumbled loudly, and he smiled shyly. “I think I might be able to.”

He stumbled out of the spare bedroom, trailing behind Athena. Whatever Bobby had thrown together smelled delicious, and Buck found his mouth watering. He was hungrier than he’d been in weeks.

“It’s that one stir-fry you like,” Bobby said, handing him a plate with a generous portion. “Figured you needed all the veggies and carbs you could get. We’ll work you back up to proteins.” He took in Buck’s nervous expression. “Just eat as much as you can.”

“It smells really good,” Buck complimented, sitting down at the table next to Athena. He raised his fork for a cautious bite, chewing and eventually swallowing anxiously. When his stomach miraculously didn’t churn, he grinned, diving back in for a bigger bite.

“Now, Bobby tells me you got ultrasound pictures of my first grandbabies,” Athena said excitedly as Buck hastily shoveled food into his mouth.

“Oh, yeah,” Buck said, swallowing his mouthful of food sheepishly when Athena gave him a look. “I haven’t even looked at them myself.”

“I’ve got ‘em right here,” Bobby said, pulling out the folder of medical information Buck had been discharged with. He slid the ultrasound onto the table.

Athena picked it up delicately. Buck turned his body in his seat so that he could examine it with her. There was tiny text on the top left that proclaimed “Baby Buckley” with helpful text over each one of the grainy white blobs labeling them as “Twin A” and “Twin B.”

“Would you look at that,” Athena said, sounding choked up. “Two baby Buckleys. Lord help us once they learn how to walk.”

“I’ll have to get them to change that at my next one,” Buck said absentmindedly. “They’re really baby Diazes.”

“Do you have your next ultrasound all lined up?” Athena asked, setting the ultrasound down on the table.

Buck sighed. “They want me to come back in next week to make sure everything’s still okay. I have to find a doctor, too.” He rubbed at his temples. “I have so much to do.”

“We’ll sort it out,” Athena said confidently. “All I want you to worry about is resting and growing my grandbabies.”

“Thank you,” Buck gushed, pulling her into a hug. “I don’t know what I’d do without you guys.”

“Well, it’s a good thing you’ll never have to find out,” Athena said unwaveringly. She pointed meaningfully at Buck’s dinner that was growing cold. “Now keep eating, I want my grandbabies big and strong.”

Buck heeded her orders, smiling as he took another bite.

—

Buck was overwhelmingly touched by Bobby and Athena’s willingness to support him and offer him a place to stay after getting out of the hospital. He was unendingly grateful and relieved that he had people to rely on as he attempted to wrap his brain around the fact that he was pregnant.

Despite that, by the next morning, he was achey, exhausted, and ready to go back home.

There was a buzzing under his skin that he knew would only be soothed by Eddie’s scent, and it wasn’t like he could drag his secret stash of Eddie’s clothes over to Bobby and Athena’s house. He might get a pass because he was pregnant, but the mortification of it alone, he’d never live down.

“I think I should go back home,” Buck hedged tentatively over breakfast.

Bobby and Athena shared a concerned glance.

“I’ll be fine,” Buck rushed to say. “I’ll make sure to eat and take care of myself. I just think it’s best if I figure out how to do that at home. I can’t stay with you guys the entire time.”

“You could if you wanted,” Athena said graciously. She pursed her lips. “I don’t know if I like the thought of you in that house all alone.”

“We all know the rest of the team will stop by at some point to check on me,” Buck defended. “And I’ll check in with you both, I promise.”

Bobby assessed him. “Are you sure? You’re welcome here, Buck.”

“I know, Bobby,” Buck said earnestly. “And thank you guys, seriously.”

“Alright, kiddo,” Bobby said reluctantly. “Finish your breakfast and I’ll take you home.”

Athena hugged him extra tight before she allowed him to leave, spattering him with thinly veiled threats that he better hold true to his word about checking in with them. Buck vowed that he would.

Bobby dropped him off back at Eddie’s house, hovering for a considerable amount of time before Buck had to practically shoo him out the door.

Once Buck was alone, he treated himself to a long shower, wanting to wash off all the grime and sterile smells of the hospital that lingered on his skin. While in the shower, he studied his stomach. It didn’t look any different. There was a small pouch of softness he couldn’t seem to get rid of, no matter how hard he went at the gym, but other than that, he wasn’t showing yet.

He’d read in one of Maddie’s pregnancy books that it could take a while for a bump to pop if the mother had strong abdominal muscles, and he supposed that applied to him. With twins, though, he doubted his stomach would stay flat for long.

It was a waiting game now.

Buck toweled himself off, padding into Eddie’s bedroom once he was dry. The sheets of his bed were rumpled and haphazardly flung off to the side on one end, probably from when he’d launched himself out of bed the previous morning to hurl.

It was a tiresome routine.

Buck made his way over to the dresser that Eddie had left behind. Most of the drawers had been cleaned out, however, Buck was on a mission. He dug through the underwear/sock/junk drawer at the top right until he successively closed his fingers around a pair of Eddie’s boxers. They were old and worn, with a hole in the thigh that dictated them as a pair not worthy of saving for travel.

Buck loved them.

He loved all of Eddie’s ratty things, especially the things he couldn’t part with even if it made all reasonable sense that he should.

It sounded insane, but Buck kind of wished he could be Eddie’s boxers—something worn in, with holes and fraying seams that Eddie couldn’t part with.

Buck slipped into the boxers, and they stretched snugly over his thighs. He pulled out his favorite sweatshirt of Eddie’s, the old LAFD one with “Diaz” proudly emblazoned on the back. It was losing Eddie’s smell more and more with every wear, and Buck knew painfully it would reach a point where it didn’t smell like him anymore.

Buck didn’t focus on that. If he did, he would spiral, and that wouldn’t be productive for anyone.

He snatched up most of the clothes in the box that was designated for ones Eddie had been meaning to discard. He tossed them onto the bed, immediately spinning on his heels to gather up the item that haunted him and slammed his heart against his ribcage, making it beat in double-time.

He’d washed the towel Eddie had put down before they fucked only once, careful to use the unscented sensitive skin detergent that was usually saved for Christopher’s laundry. The effect left the towel freshly cleaned, yet still permeated with both of their scents.

Buck delicately laid the towel flat out on the bed: his most prized possession and the centerpiece of his budding nest. He created a circle of Eddie’s clothes around the towel to swaddle him when he finally deemed it satisfactory enough to climb inside.

He wasn’t well-practiced in nest making, and hadn’t been educated on all the intricate ways to build a proper one. His parents never bothered to teach him, and they all about rolled their eyes at any feeble attempts he’d made at making them when he was younger.

Maddie did her best to go over the basics, and Buck appreciated her for it. As a Beta, she didn’t completely get it, and Buck recognized now, as an adult, she had mainly been flying blind, which only made his love for her grow.

He positioned each item obsessively, smoothing out every crease until the tightness in his chest loosened, bit by bit. He chewed on his lip, feeling appropriately guilty as he tiptoed into Christopher’s room, careful not to move a single item out of place. He snagged an old graphic tee from his yellow double-door wardrobe. Christopher had most likely long grown out of the shirt, so that eased his shame, at least minimally.

Placing Christopher’s shirt in the nest was the final touch, and Buck preened as he surveyed his nest. He briefly allowed himself to imagine what it would be like to build a fully-fledged semi-permanent nest, with fancy scent-carrying nesting pillows and decadently soft blankets that Eddie could scent ahead of time.

It was becoming painful to dream when Buck knew his dreams would never turn into reality.

After taking a deep breath, he clamored into his nest. He concentrated on tucking in all of his limbs so that he wouldn’t upset the work he’d just done. He blanketed himself in Eddie’s scent, feeling like he was actually relaxing for the first time in several days.

The itchy buzzing underneath his skin sputtered to a halt, and his mind quieted.

He curled into a fetal position, knees up, with a hand pressed over his belly.

“Hey, guys,” Buck whispered into the dead-silent room. He cringed to himself at the awkward introduction. Hopefully, his babies wouldn’t mind, considering he was doing all the hard work of carrying them after all. “I gotta come up with nicknames for you, don’t I? Baby ‘A’ and Baby ‘B’ aren’t very personal.”

He rubbed his thumb back and forth, in awe that two little humans were growing in his body. If he hadn’t passed out, he feared how long it might have taken to figure it out.

“I know you can’t hear yet, so I’ll have to tell you both again once your ears start growing in, but I love you. I love you so much, and I’ll do anything to protect you. I can’t wait to meet you. My parents weren’t very excited about me,” He paused, sniffling around the wetness in his throat. “I am very excited about you. Things are kind of messy right now, and I’m sorry about that. I want you to know that it’s not your fault and it will never ever be your fault.”

He brought up his free hand to wipe away at the tears clogging his lash line. “And your dad—” a small sob hitched in his chest. “You’re so lucky to have him as your dad. You’re gonna love him. I hope you get more things from him than from me. He’s my favorite person. He’s the best dad in the world. I think you might have won the lottery with him.”

“And oh my God, your big brother? Christopher,” Buck said, smiling through his tears at the utterance of his name alone. “That kid amazes me every day. All of you will be thick as thieves. He’ll teach you so much stuff. He’ll teach you how to run circles around me and your dad. You’ll be so loved by me and by them, I promise.”

“Your dad doesn’t know about you yet, and I don’t know when I’ll tell him,” Buck admitted, his voice hushed. “So, for right now, we have to work together as a team, okay? If you can try to not make me so sick, I’ll handle all the complicated adult stuff so that you don’t have to worry about it. Do we have a deal? When you both come out with ten fingers and ten toes, I’ll let you in on how to do the Buckley pinky swear.”

He huffed out a choked laugh. “It’s special, it’s just for you two, me, and Chris. I haven’t even let your dad in on it. It’s top secret.”

Buck heard a distinct buzzing coming from his nightstand. He’d left his phone there before his shower, and now it was vibrating, threatening to launch itself onto the floor.

Buck reluctantly flipped onto his other side to see who was calling him, even though he already had a pretty good guess.

“Speaking of your dad,” He said, his thumb hovering over the answer call button.

Eddie wanted to FaceTime. He could maybe hide that he’d been crying over the phone; however, there’d be no hiding it if he showed his face on FaceTime. He didn’t want Eddie to witness his pitiful, embarrassing nest, either. He wasn’t sure how he’d even begin to explain why his nest was completely made up of the Alpha’s clothes without humiliating himself to a point of no return.

He let the call ring out before he took a deep breath and cleared his throat. He unlocked his phone, hitting Eddie’s contact for a regular old-fashioned phone call.

“Hey,” Buck answered, falsely light.

“Oh, hey,” Eddie replied, his voice smooth and sleep-soft. “I thought maybe you were busy.”

“Nah, not too busy,” Buck said, putting his phone on speaker so he could snuggle himself further into his nest. “Just tired.”

Eddie hummed. “Long shift?”

Guilt pooled in the pit of Buck’s stomach. “Yeah, something like that,” He said non-committedly. He hated lying to Eddie, and he hated that he was going to have to keep doing it. Eddie couldn’t know that he was on forced sick leave for the rest of the week. He had no way of explaining it without opening up the can of worms he’d decided to remain tightly sealed.

“Any reason why I don’t get to see your face? You didn’t get a big gash on it that you’re hiding, did you?” Eddie teased, and Buck’s heart stuttered in his chest.

“Nope, my pretty face is still intact, thank you very much,” Buck quipped. “How are things going with Chris?”

Eddie was silent for a minute, and Buck worried that he was preparing to call him out on his obvious deflection.

“Do you think I made the right call? Coming out here?” Eddie asked eventually, his voice uncharacteristically small.

Buck froze. “What do you mean?”

Eddie sighed. “Chris will barely talk to me, which makes sense, since my parents are constantly running interference. My house is falling apart at a faster rate than I can fix it up, El Paso’s got all these different regulations than LA that I can’t keep straight, and I miss—” Eddie cut himself off. “I miss the team,” He finished.

For a moment, Buck thought he might say that he missed him. He supposed he counted as part of ‘the team.’

“The team misses you, too,” Buck murmured, not wanting Eddie to think otherwise for even a second. Eddie had left a gaping hole at the 118, and not just in Buck’s life. Both Hen and Chimney had tossed out orders over their shoulder in Buck’s last few shifts alone, as if expecting Eddie to be right behind them, surprising themselves with the reminder that he was gone.

“Tell me I’m not fucking everything up.”

“You’re not fucking anything up,” Buck said immediately.

He had to fight down every instinct that made him want to drive to El Paso, kidnap Eddie and Christopher, and bring them home—to where they belonged.

“Look, Chris is stubborn, and he got all his pride from you,” Buck said, relishing in the snort it got out of Eddie. “He’s a teenager now. He needs some time to warm up. That’s all. You care enough to show up. You’re there, Eddie, that’s what matters.”

And not here.

Eddie blew out a breath. “Thank you.”

“It’s what I’m here for.”

“You know,” Eddie drawled. Buck had noticed a bit more of Texas twang peaking out of his tone in his weeks away. Buck found it unbearably handsome even if his heart was halfway to broken. “I didn’t get a fun fact today.”

“I’m depriving you,” Buck joked.

With Eddie’s laugh in his ear and his scent permeating Buck’s nest, he could almost pretend that Eddie was still home—still by his side.

“How else am I gonna fool people into thinking I’m smart if you’re not feeding me information?”

“You are smart,” Buck defended without pause. “Don’t say that.”

“Sure,” Eddie replied flippantly. “C’mon, hit me with something.”

Buck flopped so that he was on his back, and pressed a hand over his belly. “Octopuses have three hearts.”

Eddie made a noise, indicating he was listening for Buck to say more.

“One heart circulates the blood around their bodies, and the other two pump it past their gills to pick up oxygen. Their systemic heart, the first one, that pumps blood throughout their body, actually stops beating whenever they’re swimming. Three hearts are unique to cephalopods,” Buck rattled off, recalling what he’d heard in the sea-life documentary he’d put on the other night to help him fall asleep.

“That’s a lot of hearts,” Eddie said. “Don’t they…don’t they have like six brains or something, too? I remember Chris talking about it the last time we all went to the aquarium.”

“Nine brains,” Buck corrected automatically. “One in their head, and eight smaller ones called…” Buck trailed off, wracking his one singular brain for the word. He snapped his fingers when it came to him. “Ganglia! Yeah, ganglia. They have one in each of their arms so they can do complex independent tasks with each arm.” He thought back to their last shared trip to the aquarium. It felt like a lifetime ago. “I remember Chris loving that, too. He said it was a good thing they were in the sea or else they’d be ruling the world.”

“Sounds like it,” Eddie said, somehow sounding equal parts wistful and amused.

“You should take him out to the aquarium there. You guys gotta have an aquarium, right?”

Eddie’s tone fell flat. “It’s in a strip mall.”

“No,” Buck said, clearly horrified.

“I offered to take him to the zoo, but he couldn’t be bothered. He said there was no point since the one in LA was three times bigger,” Eddie complained.

Buck winced. “I may have spoiled him.”

“Yeah, you’ve turned him into a regular zoo snob.”

Buck sniffed. “There are worse things to be.”

“Yeah,” Eddie agreed fondly. “I guess so.”

Buck yawned loudly, forgetting to move the phone away from his head.

“Shit, I’m sorry. You said you were tired, and here I am, keeping you up.”

“It’s okay,” Buck said instantly, a bolt of panic rushing through him at the notion of losing Eddie’s voice so soon. “You can keep talking, I just might fall asleep.”

“What do you want me to talk about?” Eddie prompted softly.

Buck closed his eyes, settling into a more comfortable position to sleep in. He maintained his hand over his belly.

“Run me through the differences in fire codes, it’ll be good practice.”

Eddie’s laugh was like music to his ears. “Alright.” Buck heard rustling on the other end of the phone, and he liked to imagine that Eddie was settling in for the night, too. “Okay, so California follows the California Fire Code with wildfire amendments, right? But El Paso follows the International Fire Code, and…”

Buck listened as he prattled off the differences in regulations as he drifted off further into the haze of sleep.

This is your daddy’s voice, Buck thought, attempting to will the information to their babies. Perhaps if he infused it into his bone marrow, it would be absorbed by them. He’ll love you. I know he will.

The last thing that crossed his mind was his fun fact about octopuses having three hearts. Maybe they were onto something. As he listened to Eddie talk, it felt like his chest had widened to accommodate the love of three hearts, which made sense, considering he now had three hearts inside of him.

And each one pumped solely for Eddie.

────────────────────────────────────

NINE WEEKS

────────────────────────────────────

Buck spent the majority of his remaining mandatory week off work in perpetual boredom, with random spurts of violent nausea thrown in, you know, just for fun. The babies growing in his stomach seemed hell-bent on keeping him on his toes. Go figure.

He was sprawled out on the couch during his second-to-last evening of firehouse banishment, scrolling mindlessly for something to watch, when the doorbell rang.

He eased himself off the couch, furrowing his brows. He hadn’t ordered food and certainly wasn’t expecting company, so he had no Earthly clue who could be at his door.

He opened the latch on Eddie’s tiny caged peephole to view who was on his porch.

He took in the sight of May, decked out in an oversized hoodie, vibrant pajama bottoms, with a reusable grocery bag and duffle seemingly filled to the brim, balanced on each arm.

Buck flung open the door hastily. “May?” He croaked. “What are you doing here?”

“Okay, don’t be mad,” She started strongly, brushing past him to make her way inside. “I come bearing gifts.”

“What? Why?” Buck pressed, kicking the door shut behind her.

May strutted into the kitchen as Buck trailed behind her, hopelessly confused. She plopped her duffle onto the floor to be dealt with later and took to unpacking the grocery bag, which was apparently packed with hoards of meals in Tupperware containers.

“Mom and Bobby sent me over with food, to make sure you’re eating,” She explained as she began methodically stuffing each container into Buck’s fridge. She tucked a stray hair from her messy bun behind her ear, peering at Buck nervously. “They also told me you’re pregnant.”

Buck opened his mouth to protest, but before he could get a word out, she continued frantically, “I know it’s a big secret! Don’t worry, I won’t tell anyone!” She chewed on her lip, her brown eyes widening and rounding as Buck deflated. “I figured I would come over for a sleepover. I think you could use some sister time.”

“That’s—” Buck began, then shook his head. He couldn’t even pretend to be mad. He was more touched than anything. He was going to have to have a talk with Bobby about discretion, though, despite him being grateful for May’s unexpected company. “Okay, that’s really sweet, c’mere,” He said, opening his arms.

May shuffled over, tucking her face into his neck and squeezing him into a hug.

“How are you holding up?”

“Tired, hungry, nauseous, kind of a mess,” Buck admitted candidly.

May nodded sagely, retracting herself from his arms. “Okay, I’m gonna heat up some food, then we’ll watch some dumb movies while you complain about everything those babies are doing. I can be your shoulder to cry on if you need it.”

“You don’t have to,” Buck offered. “I know you probably have much better things to do.”

May rolled her eyes, looking severely unimpressed. “No way, I have to solidify Auntie May status. Also, like I said, sister time,” she repeated meaningfully. She shooed him back to the living room and returned a few minutes later with two heaping plates of food.

Buck took a few bites, watching as she focused diligently on her task of picking a movie for them to watch.

“Did— did your mom or Bobby mention who the father is?” Buck prompted awkwardly.

May slid him a sly look. “No,” She said, making a satisfied noise, clicking on 10 Things I Hate About You. “Fuck, I haven’t seen this movie in forever, we’re so watching this.”

“I haven’t seen it,” Buck said, and May’s eyes widened comically.

“Oh, you’re so lucky you’re knocked up or I’d smack you. This movie slaps,” May said, evidently scandalized. “I’m surprised Eddie hasn’t made you watch it. He loves this movie.”

“What?” Buck demanded, now scandalized himself for a completely different reason. “He’s never even mentioned it!”

May snorted. “He’s a super secret Shakespeare nerd. I found out when I was working at Dispatch. I’m surprised you don’t know this.”

Buck was surprised he didn’t know this as well. He thought he knew everything about Eddie.

May must have caught on to his spiraling because she patted his knee comfortingly. “Don’t worry, I only know because he got way too invested in hearing about my final paper for English senior year. Like I said, it’s a big secret. You’d probably have to torture it out of him.”

“I guess,” Buck conceded, a tad morose.

He pulled out his phone, searching the depths of his brain for any fun fact he’d randomly consumed about Shakespeare. It took a minute, but one finally came to him, having picked it up when he and Chris were in their shared phase of Greek and Babylonian myths, sparked by one too many viewings of Percy Jackson.

8:58 PM [Buck]: did you know that romeo and juliet was loosely based on the myth of pyramus and thisbe

8:59 PM [Eddie]: No WTF

9:00 PM [Buck]: what’s ur fav shakespeare play

9:00 PM [Buck]: i know u have one

9:02 PM [Eddie]: …

9:03 PM [Eddie]: You’ve been talking to May.

9:04 PM [Buck]: answer my question or else

9:06 PM [Eddie]: Fine. King Lear.

Buck sat his phone down, heart beating in double-time. “You were right. He does like Shakespeare,” He said, stunned.

He was in love with Eddie. He knew he was in love with Eddie. Was it possible for him to fall even more in love with him with every new thing he learned?

“What? Did you think I was lying?” May sassed, waving the remote in her hand around wildly.

“His favorite is King Lear. I don’t even know that play,” Buck said a little dumbly, still shocked at this revelation.

May scoffed, mock-affronted. “Are you kidding me! I tried for months to weasel his favorite play out of him, and he wouldn’t tell me! Of course he would tell you right away.” She rolled her eyes, muttering “unbelievable” under her breath. “Anyways, that tracks. That one is super depressing, like, everyone dies, and the end is basically a suicide note.”

“Jesus,” Buck said emphatically.

May considered him. “It’s Eddie, isn’t it?”

Buck reared back, blinking at her furiously. “What!?”

“The twins. Eddie’s the father, isn’t he?” May trudged on. She gestured vaguely around Eddie’s house. “I don’t think you’d be here pouting about Eddie’s top secret love of Shakespeare if they were Tommy’s, or someone else’s.”

“I agreed to sublet before I got pregnant,” Buck defended weakly.

May shot him a look that expressed that she thought he was the dumbest person alive. “I refuse to believe they’re Tommy’s. He doesn’t have it in him.”

Buck sputtered, “What does that mean?”

May gave him a small conspiratorial smile. “Eddie has a kid.” She shrugged. “He’s got that dog in him.”

Buck gaped at her, feeling his face and even the tips of his ears turn red.

“I knew it,” May said smugly. “He’s gonna make you name them something tragic like Imogen or Ophelia, and you’ll let him because you’re down bad.”

“I’m not— that’s not—” Buck stuttered helplessly. He shrank, curling in his shoulders as he stared at the floor. “He’d have to be here to name them, and he’s not, and I’m not telling him. He left, so, it doesn’t really matter.”

“He’d come back if you told him,” May said, and it had Buck gritting his teeth.

“I’d want him to come back if Christopher wanted to come back to LA. I don’t want him to come back just because I’m pregnant. I want him to come back for me,” Buck said, blurting out the last part unintentionally. His most shameful, selfish desire had just laid itself bare.

May, for her part, looked about as crushed as Buck felt. “You really love him, don’t you?”

“Yeah, May,” He ground his palms into his eyes, attempting to stop the tears that threatened to fall. He’d had enough of crying. “Fuck,” he cursed loudly. “Yeah, I really fucking love him.”

“I’m sorry,” May said earnestly, scooting closer to him on the couch. “I shouldn’t have teased you.”

“It’s fine,” Buck said, leaning his head on her shoulder. His voice came out warbly and uneven. “I guess I am down bad or whatever.”

“Would hearing about my dumb roommate drama make you feel better?” May hedged, and Buck snorted wetly.

“Yeah, honestly, I think it would.”

—

May ended up leaving the following afternoon after rubbing Buck’s back supportedly throughout the duration of him puking his way through morning sickness. She stayed, vaguely threatening Buck in creative ways until he agreed to let her join him for his upcoming ultrasound instead of going it alone. Bobby and Athena both had to work, and Maddie was still in the dark about his situation, so that left May, which she pointed out reasonably.

As soon as May left, Buck braced himself for a phone call he really didn’t want to make. Although he knew at this point, it was necessary.

“Buck? Is something wrong? Do you need something?” Bobby answered after only two rings, panic lacing his tone.

“Nothing’s wrong,” Buck said, and made a face to himself at the half-lie. “Okay, I hate to ask this. God, Cap, I hate asking this, but…” he hesitated, and Bobby waited patiently. “I think I need another week off. The whole morning sickness thing is still kicking my ass and honestly the probability of me getting sick on a vic is way too high to be work-safe.”

“That’s no problem, Buck,” Bobby said easily. “You’ve got enough sick time saved up, even this won’t make a dent. I’ll fill out the paperwork later today to make sure it’s paid leave.”

“Thanks, Bobby,” Buck said, so grateful for the man he could barely stand it. “And thanks for sending May by — she really helped.”

“Anytime,” Bobby replied. “And Buck? I’m really proud of you for taking care of yourself and asking for what you need. I know that can be tough.”

“Thank you, Bobby. That— that really means a lot,” Buck said as warmth spread through his chest.

“You call if you need anything, alright?” Bobby advised in his fatherly, no-nonsense voice.

“Roger that, Cap,” Buck responded.

He eased himself up from his sitting position on the floor, his knees cracking with the movement. Now that his sick leave was settled, he had the joy of figuring out how he was going to fill another week of boredom.

—

To be fair, in hindsight, he should have planned on Maddie breaking down his door at some point.

It had been over a week of radio silence with his sister, and he had no doubt in his mind that Chimney had most likely spilled the beans about the dramatics of what had occurred on his last shift.

Buck was in the kitchen, deciding on which pre-made meal he should heat up for an attempt at lunch, when he was startled by the front door opening and the sound of someone waltzing into his house, like they owned the place.

He hadn’t locked the door, but still.

He whipped around to look directly into the living room, only to come face to face with Maddie, her arms crossed and expression stormy.

“Maddie,” Buck said guiltily, as if he’d just been caught with his hands in a cookie jar. “Umm, good to see you? How are you?”

“Really, Buck?” Maddie intoned flatly. “I’ve been trying to be considerate and give you space. I thought eventually you’d come to me, but you haven’t.”

“Come to you about what?” Buck said evasively, despite knowing it would be pointless with Maddie.

She narrowed her eyes. “I know you haven’t been at work, and Chimney said you passed out and they had to take you to the hospital.”

“I’m fine, Maddie, honestly,” Buck replied, weak to his own ears.

“You’re obviously not fine,” Maddie said, then sighed, softening. “Why won’t you talk to me? If something’s wrong…”

“Nothing’s wrong,” Buck was quick to say, which caused Maddie to frown.

“Okay, I’m calling bullshit. You wanted to go back to work when most of your leg was in a cast. You died and were in a coma for a week, and went back to work as soon as you were discharged. You expect me to believe you’re what? Taking an impromptu staycation and nothing’s wrong?” Maddie crossed her arms again, her bottom lip trembling. “I don’t know what’s worse, you being sick, or you being sick and not telling me.”

“I’m not sick, Mads,” Buck insisted. Maddie let out a disbelieving scoff. “I’m not. I’m—” Buck scrubbed his hands over his face. “Okay, just. Sit down. I’ll be right back.”

Maddie furrowed her brows, her skepticism evident.

Buck gestured towards the couch. “Sit,” He said again. “Give me a minute, okay?”

Maddie nodded, hesitantly. “Okay,” She said after a minute. Once Buck was satisfied that she was listening and making her way to the couch, he turned, taking in a deep breath.

He passed through the living room, avoiding Maddie’s penetrating gaze. He got to Eddie’s bedroom, the one he refused to think of as his own. His hands shook as he opened the drawer of the nightstand, pulling out the copy of the ultrasound he’d tucked away a few nights previous. He shoved it into the pocket of his hoodie and returned to the living room.

He sat down next to Maddie on the couch.

“I’ll tell you,” Buck said gravely. “But I’m not telling people yet, and you and I both know Chimney can’t keep a secret to save his life, so you have to promise me that you won’t tell him until I’m ready.”

Maddie pursed her lips, seeming to think it over. “And you’re not sick?” She hedged, seeming to need double confirmation.

“I’m not sick,” Buck said with conviction. “I didn’t want to ask you to keep a secret from your husband, which is why I haven’t told you.”

Maddie stared at him intently, then raised her hand to hold out her pinky. “I promise.”

Buck linked their pinkies together, shooting her a small smile.

God, he loved his sister. A part of him was relieved to tell her. Not being able to talk about all this with her had been killing him.

Maddie looked at him expectantly, and Buck’s mind raced. All of his words died in his throat. He suddenly had no idea how to break the news. Everyone else who knew had found out, saving him the act of having to tell them.

He honestly didn’t even know where to begin.

“Eddie and I slept together,” He found himself saying, the words tumbling out before he could stop them.

Maddie’s eyes widened comically, and her mouth dropped open.

“Wait. Are you two together?” She asked, her brows wrinkling together in confusion.

“No,” Buck said, firmly shaking his head.

“That’s the secret you want me to keep from Chim? That you and Eddie slept together?” If anything, her confusion only grew. “What does that have to do with you taking off work? Or going to the hospital?” Buck opened his mouth to reply, however, she cut him off first, “Hold on. When did you guys sleep together?”

“The night before he left,” Buck answered quietly. “It was… I don’t really know what we were thinking,” He said, wanting to save himself the embarrassment of admitting to his sister that he was hopelessly in love with Eddie and willing to shell out his body to take what he could get before Eddie would be gone.

“And you’re not together?” Maddie asked, clearly dumbstruck.

“No,” Buck repeated. “He doesn’t— it’s not like that.”

“Do you want it to be like that?” Maddie questioned, and Buck needed to stop this line of interrogation, lest he reveal the full scope of his patheticness.

“I’m pregnant,” Buck blurted out.

Maddie blinked at him.

Buck huffed indignantly. “Here,” He said, fishing the ultrasound out of his pocket. “Nine weeks, now, I think. They’re—” His tongue felt too big for his mouth as he forced the picture into Maddie’s hands. “They’re Eddie’s.”

Maddie held the ultrasound delicately, examining it for a moment. Then, her eyes sharpened, and she whipped her head up to look at Buck.

“Oh my God. You’re having twins?!” She exclaimed. “Oh, Buck,” She said, and Buck watched as she began to tear up. “C’mere,” She choked out, and that was all the warning Buck got before she flung her arms around him, yanking him into a bone-crushing hug.

Buck returned her hug enthusiastically, sagging against her. He buried his nose into her neck, taking in the scent of pears and lavender that had comforted him ever since he was a kid.

When Maddie pulled back, she fretted over him, her eyes searching and assessing. “How have you been feeling?”

“Awful,” Buck whined immediately. “Morning sickness has been kicking my ass, and I’m so tired, Mads.”

“I’ll bet,” Maddie said empathetically. “What did Eddie say when you told him?”

Buck flinched, and Maddie caught it.

“Buck,” Maddie said admonishingly. “Please tell me you’ve told him.”

“I haven’t, yet,” Buck said quietly, and scooted away from her on the couch. “I will, eventually. I haven’t decided when. Maybe when they’re in Pre-K?” He attempted to joke.

Maddie sighed heavily. “Why haven’t you told him?”

“Because he didn’t sign up for this!” Buck snapped. “It was just supposed to be a one-time thing, and I went and ruined it. And everyone keeps telling me, Oh, he’ll come back home once you tell him, and I don’t want that. I don’t want to baby-trap him. I want him home because he fixed things with Chris. I want it to be their choice. It isn’t fair to make him choose between me and the babies and Chris. I won’t do that to him.”

He refrained from telling Maddie that he and Eddie had already had this conversation, granted, without the inclusion of his pregnancy. Eddie had told him in no uncertain terms that if it came down to choosing between him and Chris, he would lose every time. Buck wasn’t going to throw himself into the ring of a fight he knew he’d lose.

It wasn’t fair to Eddie. It wasn’t fair to Chris. And it most definitely wasn’t fair to their babies.

Eddie wouldn’t choose him, and that was something he had to figure out how to live with.

Maddie pursed her lips, clearly unhappy. “And what happens if him and Chris do come back? How are you going to explain this to him? Do you think he’s not going to notice that you’re pregnant, or suddenly have two babies that you’re taking care of?”

“We’ll cross that bridge when we come to it,” Buck said stubbornly. “I mean, hell, Maddie, you were the one who said a few weeks ago that you don’t think he’s going to come back, so why does it matter?”

Maddie deflated. “I shouldn’t have said that. If I had known you were pregnant—”

“It wouldn’t change anything,” Buck said, cutting her off abrasively. “You were right.”

“I don’t want to be right about this,” Maddie said, sounding devastated. “You said it wasn’t fair to him, but what about you? This isn’t fair to you. You shouldn’t have to be raising them alone.”

“I’m not alone,” Buck replied, and for the first time, he felt confident in his assertion. “I have you, and I have the rest of the 118. I can handle this. There’s no point in dragging Eddie into this and blowing up his life.”

“Do you really think he’d react that poorly?” Maddie demanded.

“He’ll act out of obligation,” Buck said, already knowing how it would all play out. He knew Eddie, down to his bones. “I’d rather do this alone than force him to come back and have him resent me — that would be worse than doing it alone.”

“I’ll kill him,” Maddie said, with the full conviction of a big sister scorned. “I’ll fly to Texas and kill him. You know I can do it, too.”

“I don’t want that either!” Buck said frantically. “I don’t want anyone mad at him, or for anyone to pick sides. This is my mess and it’s my responsibility to handle it.”

Maddie’s face twisted. “It’s his mess, too.”

“Yeah, well, he’s not here, so it’s my mess now,” Buck insisted, the conversation beginning to wane on him.

“Don’t you think these babies deserve the chance to have their father in their lives?” Maddie said, not pulling her punches. Her words hit Buck in the center of his chest.

“Of course I want that!” Buck cried, frustrated and exhausted. “Of course I want them to know him! He’s the best dad in the world, and the best person I’ve ever met. I wouldn’t want to be carrying anyone else’s kids, but that isn’t an option. He barely has his feet under him in El Paso, and I’m not going to ruin things for him. Chris is his priority, and these babies are mine. That’s how it is. Even if I wanted things to be different, nothing is going to change that.”

“I just don’t understand what happened,” Maddie said exasperatedly. “I mean, you’re BuckandEddie, one word, one entity.” She blew out a breath, her expression morphing into something heartbreakingly sad. “Sometimes I see the way he looks at you, and I just figured…” Her voice petered out.

“Don’t say that to me,” Buck said, agonized. He could feel tears welling up, despite his best efforts to keep them at bay. “He doesn’t feel that way about me, so there’s no use even thinking about it.”

“Are you in love with him?” Maddie asked bluntly.

Buck squeezed his eyes shut. “Yeah,” He admitted, after a painful minute of silence. “I think I’ve always been in love with him — which is why I can’t hurt him with this.”

Maddie pressed her lips into a thin line and wiped at her eyes. “I’m not going to change your mind, am I?” She conceded.

“I’ve made my decision,” Buck replied, his words torn out of him.

“...Okay,” Maddie said softly, after taking some time to mull over his response. She reached over to pat his knee. “I hope you know I’m here for you. Whatever you need. I love you, so much.”

“I love you, too,” Buck said, and it came out wet and strained, his voice clogged with tears.

He opened his arms, reeling her in for another hug.

Everything was falling apart, but he knew that it would eventually be okay. He had Maddie by his side, as well as the rest of his scattered found family. As long as he had them, he would make his way through this.

His babies were counting on him.

—

“I’m pretty excited,” May said, nearly bouncing in her seat. “I’ve only seen ultrasounds on like, TV and stuff.”

“I mean, they’re not that crazy, from my experience,” Buck said absentmindedly, chewing at a hangnail.

They were currently sitting in the hospital waiting room, anticipating the call-back for Buck’s second-ever ultrasound. He still hadn’t selected a go-to OBGYN and was following up with Dr. Cho in the meantime.

He bit at a hangnail on his thumb nervously. May batted his hand away from his mouth and tangled their fingers together so it was occupied.

Buck gave her a sheepish, albeit anxious, grin.

“Do you think—”

“Evan Buckley?” A harried nurse with a clipboard called out to the room upon her entering, and May used her grip on his hand to haul him up and out of the chair he was in.

“C’mon,” May said, dragging him down the hallway after the nurse. “I want to see my godbabies.”

“Godbabies?” Buck parroted. “I thought we were cementing ‘Auntie May status’,” Buck said, using air quotes with his one free hand.

“They’re gonna have a million aunts and uncles,” May informed him, as if she’d given this a lot of thought. “I need to aim higher. I’m now working towards godmother status.”

“If you’re the godmother, then who is the godfather going to be?” Buck questioned.

May smiled coyly. “I’m working on it, Buckley.”

“That sounds suspiciously ominous,” Buck replied, narrowing his eyes.

“As it should,” May shot back.

The nurse, blessedly tuning out their conversation, directed them into an empty room and instructed Buck to lie on the exam table, pull up his shirt, and unbutton his pants for access.

“Stop staring at my stomach,” Buck grumbled once he followed the nurse’s orders. “You’re going to make me insecure.”

May rolled her eyes. “I’ll wear a crop top to your next ultrasound. Would that make you feel better?”

Buck sniffed. “Actually, it would.”

May took her phone out of her pocket. “Can I get a picture for Mom?

“Sure, why not. As if this isn’t humiliating enough,” Buck muttered. He did grin over-exaggeratedly, doing a thumbs up at May’s phone as she took the picture.

“Perfect,” May said. “Also, I’m sending it to Maddie. She hates that she can’t be here.”

Buck waved his hand dismissively. “She has to work. How else are you going to steal godmother privileges from right under her nose?”

May laughed heartily. “You’re catching on to my master plan.”

Within a few minutes, Dr. Cho swept in, this time sans the portable ultrasound machine, since it was already set up in the room.

“Mr. Buckley, it’s nice to see you again,” She said warmly, sitting onto the chair next to where he was lying prone on the hospital bed.

“It’s nice to see you again, too,” Buck replied politely.

Dr. Cho’s eyes lingered on May, visibly brightening. “Oh!” She exclaimed. “Did you bring your Alpha with you this time?”

“Oh no, she’s not—” Buck hurried to say.

“I’m his sister,” May said, talking over him. She fixated Dr. Cho with a penetrating gaze, lifting one of her brows haughtily. “Don’t you see the family resemblance?”

Buck had to hide his surprised snicker at Dr. Cho’s stunned face.

“Right,” Dr. Cho said curtly. “My apologies for assuming.” She cleared her throat awkwardly. “Let’s begin, shall we?”

Buck nodded, this time mentally prepared for the cold, tacky gel that she spread over his stomach. He waited for the sound of a heartbeat, his own thudding loudly in his throat.

“Everything is still looking good,” Dr. Cho said, after she played each heartbeat and examined the screen closely. “Both babies are in appropriate measurement ranges, and they appear to be developing normally. At your next ultrasound, we can perform a dating scan that will let us know if the twins are identical or fraternal, if that’s something you’re interested in.”

Buck nodded. “That sounds good.” He watched her put away the ultrasound wand, and she handed him a thick paper towel to wipe off the jelly from his stomach. “Oh, I also was meaning to ask, for the pictures, can we change it so they say ‘baby Diaz’ instead of ‘baby Buckley’?”

Dr. Cho clicked a few things on her laptop. “Certainly. That’s no problem. I did have a few more things I wanted to discuss with you.”

“Okay,” Buck said nervously. “Hit me.”

“Firstly, how have you been feeling? I know your nausea, dehydration, and fatigue were major causes for concern the last time we met. Have you noticed any improvement? Are there any other symptoms you’ve been experiencing that have raised alarm?”

“The medicine they gave me has helped a little,” Buck said tentatively. “I went from not being able to eat at all to being able to eat small portions if I pace myself. I’m still puking basically every day, but hopefully that’ll stop once I’m out of the first trimester?” Buck felt a little proud of himself for the bits of research he’d done on his own.

“Getting out of the first trimester should improve your nausea. How about the fatigue?” Dr. Cho inquired, looking at him expectantly.

“I’m tired all the time. That’s normal, though, right?”

“It is,” Dr. Cho confirmed. “Typical pregnancy symptoms might hit you harder due to you carrying twins.”

Buck relaxed incrementally at her words. It sucked sure, but it was comforting to know that nothing was seriously awry. He was in the throes of typical pregnancy symptoms. It was a relief.

“I was looking over your chart and your previous medical history,” Dr. Cho began warily. “With pregnancy, the likelihood of developing blood clots rises dramatically. Since you have a documented history of blood clots, I wanted to recommend putting you on Heparin. You were on Warfarin before, however, that isn’t safe to take while pregnant, hence my recommendation of Heparin instead.”

Buck audibly sighed. Great. Blood thinners, again.

“Buck,” May said meaningfully, breaking the supportive silence she had fallen into.

“Yeah, okay. If you think that’s what’s best,” Buck accepted reluctantly. It left a bad taste in his mouth, even though he was going to be on light duty when he returned anyway.

“Great. I’ll send the prescription to your preferred pharmacy,” Dr. Cho said brightly. She eyed Buck once more, seeming to hesitate. “There is one more thing I wanted to discuss with you,” She paused, “Regarding the treatment for OAS.”

Buck’s hackles rose, and he didn’t miss the horror-struck expression that May sent his way.

“What about it?” Buck said tightly.

“There are treatments available to prevent any undue stress on you and the babies. My recommendation would be to take some Alpha pheromone supplements that I can prescribe. The supplements should ease some of the symptoms you may be facing.”

“No, thank you,” Buck said, gritting his teeth. “The scent of any Alpha who isn’t pack has been making me extremely sick, sicker than I am without it. So, I don’t think that would be a good idea.”

Dr. Cho’s lips thinned. “Alright,” She said after a moment. “But it might be something you should consider further down the line.”

“Sure,” Buck said, to get her off his back. He knew that he didn’t mean it. The thought of putting any Alpha pheromones in his body that didn’t belong to Eddie felt wrong, and made his stomach twist. “Is that all?”

Dr. Cho nodded, shutting her laptop with a resounding click. “We’ll have you schedule your dating scan with the ladies at the front desk. Let us know if you find an OBGYN you would like to transfer your care to, and we’ll send over your records.” She gave Buck and May a small smile before leaving the room. “Take care, Mr. Buckley.”

Buck snuck a glance over to May. “It’s really not a big deal.”

“You have OAS,” May said despondently. “Buck!”

“Mild OAS!” Buck felt the need to hastily point out. “I’m not even bonded. It’s fine, May.”

“It's not fine,” May grumbled.

“I’m not talking about this,” Buck declared, swinging himself up into a sitting position. May glared at him, though she still dutifully helped him stand up, despite his meager protests.

She gave him a look that said she wouldn’t be dropping it, and Buck resigned himself.

He was on the receiving end of a lot of those looks lately.

—

After two more days off and another impromptu visit from Maddie, Buck slipped up.

He should have known it would be inevitable. He and Eddie lived inside each other’s pockets, even when one of them was out of state.

Eddie FaceTimed him in the middle of the afternoon, when he should have been at work. He answered the call from the couch, blearily, his face smushed into one of his throw pillows, his brain not entirely online from his unplanned post-vomiting nap.

“Hey, sorry to call you at work, I just wanted to ask—” Eddie bit off his sentence abruptly halfway through. His confused face filled Buck’s phone screen. “You’re not at work.”

“Umm,” Buck said intelligently, now a lot more awake.

“Why aren’t you at work? You should have a shift today,” Eddie said, worry lacing his tone.

“I switched with Ravi,” Buck said, thinking on his feet. “Wasn’t feeling too hot. I think I picked up a bug or something.”

“Are you sure you’re okay?” Eddie asked, his brows furrowing in concern. “You never call out. Even when you are sick.”

“There’s something going around,” Buck said vaguely. “Don’t worry about it.”

He could tell Eddie was shifting into paramedic mode as he examined him. “Do you have a fever? Are you drinking enough? You should be in bed, not on the couch,” Eddie fretted.

Buck’s inner Omega preened at the attention and care from the Alpha. For a blissful moment, Buck allowed himself to pretend that this is how Eddie would behave if he knew he was pregnant. He would fuss over him, worrying himself to death about every little thing that afflicted him.

“No fever. Yes, I’m drinking enough. I can be on the couch if I want to be,” Buck replied tiredly.

“You look kind of pale,” Eddie murmured, his expression sliding into one that was heavily displeased. “Weren’t you sick a few weeks ago, too?”

“Nah, I just didn’t get a lot of sleep that night,” Buck insisted.

“If—” Eddie hesitated. “If something was wrong, you’d tell me, right?”

Buck swallowed down his lie. “Yeah, Eds, of course.”

And the thing was—

Everyone thought the problem was that he didn’t want to tell Eddie, and that wasn’t really the problem at all. He wanted to tell Eddie, more than anything. He ached to tell him. The words rested on the tip of his tongue whenever he saw Eddie’s face on the other end of his screen. He wanted to share this joy with Eddie, his fears, and every little moment that had happened thus far.

And on his low days, he yearned for Eddie to hold his hand, to insist that they were in this together, like he always did when they were on a job, triple-checking Buck’s harness before every rope rescue. Eddie would rub his back as he puked his guts out every morning and night. He’d whisper praises in his ear, reassuring him that he was doing such a great job, and taking everything in stride.

He wanted Eddie by his side at every ultrasound, wiping his tears at hearing the heartbeats of the two lives they’d inexplicably created. He wanted to bicker with him about names, and obnoxiously draw Punnett squares on a piece of notebook paper to deduce which traits they were most likely to get.

He wanted his partner, and not even necessarily in a romantic sense, though he also burned for that, too.

It wasn’t a lie when he told Maddie he wouldn’t want to be carrying anyone else’s kids.

“Make sure you’re taking medicine, alright? I want you to call me if you get a fever. I mean it, Buck,” Eddie instructed determinedly.

“I’ll call you if I get a fever,” Buck promised, ignoring the fact that it was an empty one. “You do remember Maddie used to be a nurse, right?”

“I remember,” Eddie said flatly, his eyes catching on something off-screen.

Buck propped his head up, exposing more of his face to the camera. “What did you want to ask me?” He murmured.

Eddie’s eyes jerked back to his, appearing torn. “It doesn’t matter,” He said flippantly. “You should be getting some rest.”

“No, c’mon,” Buck whined petulantly. “What did you want to ask me? I’m bored.”

Eddie sighed, put-upon, though Buck could pick up the lingering fondness that came with the twitch of his lips. “Adriana’s coming into town to visit. Her and Chris want to watch some show on streaming.” He had the gall to look embarrassed. It was so endearing to Buck that he itched to close the distance between them and kiss him. He imagined kissing over the faint blush that painted the apples of his cheeks. “I have no idea how to set it up.”

Buck laughed. “You brought your TV. It should be a Smart TV. Just connect it to your WiFi and it’ll work. You know Adriana and Chris will figure it out.”

“A Smart TV,” Eddie repeated, sounding as if Buck had went and made up the term entirely.

“You’re hopeless,” Buck teased, feeling lighter than he had in days.

“I knew you’d know,” Eddie said, the fondness back in his tone as he gave Buck a heart-stopping smile.

“I’ll call if I get a fever, and you call me if you can’t get your TV figured out,” Buck proposed. “Deal?”

Eddie sucked on his teeth playfully. “You run a hard bargain. Deal.”

Buck smiled for the rest of their call, letting himself blissfully forget about the mess they were in and all the consequences weighing him down. For a while, it was as if nothing had changed, and Buck savored it, longing to enjoy it while it lasted.

—

When Buck heard a knock on his door that evening, he briefly wondered if he had unwittingly put up a sign in his front yard that said he was desperately seeking visitors. He’d had more people show up unannounced at his door the last few weeks than when Maddie had put together a schedule of babysitters after he was discharged from the lightning strike.

As far as he knew, Bobby and Athena were both on shift, Maddie was working late, and May was out with friends. He had no clue who would be at his door, and he nervously checked the caged peephole, unsure if he was up for a visit from anyone from the 118.

He was greeted with the sight of Tia Pepa standing on Eddie’s porch, and he flung the door open immediately.

“Pepa?” He said, greeting her bewilderedly. “What are you doing here?”

She smiled, breezing in with an armful of grocery bags. “A little birdie told me you were under the weather,” She said slyly as explanation. “I thought I’d come by to check on you.”

“Oh, that’s— that’s so kind, Pepa,” Buck said, stumbling over his words. “But, I’m fine really. You didn’t have to go through the trouble of coming all the way out here.”

She sized him up, her eyes raking over him as if she could see right through him. Buck shifted anxiously on his feet, fighting the temptation to pull his shirt further away from his body. He didn’t have a bump yet, as far as he could tell, but it didn’t stop him from worrying. Eddie’s Tia Pepa and Abuela had always been scarily perceptive.

“Hush, Evancito,” Pepa chided gently. “Is that any way to greet a poor old woman such as myself?”

Buck’s entire body warmed down to his toes at the endearment. “No, I, of course,” He stuttered, stepping forward to pull her into a hug, one of which she returned enthusiastically, holding him tight and rubbing her hand soothingly between his shoulder blades. Buck sank into it, soaking in her comforting motherly scent. “It’s good to see you.”

When she pulled back, her hands raised to cup his face. “Let me look at you,” She said, smoothing her hands down to pat his shoulders. She clicked her tongue in a fashion that was so Eddie-like, a lump formed in the back of Buck’s throat. “You haven’t been eating enough.”

Buck closed his eyes, letting out a breath. “Did Eddie tell you I was sick?” He inquired, his voice small.

“I follow my own will,” Pepa said cheekily, removing herself from Buck’s personal space to glide effortlessly into the kitchen. Buck followed, going out of his way to help her with her bag of groceries. “He might have been the birdie who told me,” She admitted once all her bags were on the counter.

“I’m doing alright, Pepa. You don’t have to worry,” Buck said in an attempt to assuage her. “It’s just a little flu, nothing I can’t handle.”

Pepa paid him no mind. “Go sit,” She shooed, gesturing to one of the kitchen seats. “I’m going to get started on a batch of pozole, and that will have you feeling right as rain.” She frowned briefly as she began to gather her ingredients and sat them out on the countertop. “I don’t usually like to use the canned stuff, but it should do the trick on short notice. If your stomach agrees, I’ll make you another proper batch at home.”

“Is there anything I can do to help?” Buck offered, feeling guilty at the thought of sitting idly by while Pepa did all the work. He’d prided himself in always helping her and Abuela out in the kitchen whenever they came over, or the few rare times he’d been over to one of their places with Eddie and Chris for dinner.

“You can rest,” Pepa said assertively, fluttering around the kitchen as if it were her own. “And tell me all about how you’ve been feeling.”

“It’s just the flu,” Buck insisted sheepishly, sitting down at the kitchen table.

Pepa saved her reply until she was finished acquiring all the pots and pans for her pozole, and all of her ingredients were lined out neatly on the counter. She turned, facing Buck, with the eyes of a woman who was far too knowing.

“You don’t have the flu, Evancito,” She said gently. All the hairs on the back of Buck’s neck rose, and he felt his eyes widening. “You’re expecting.”

“I—” Buck said weakly, ducking his head. “Pepa.”

“Your scent’s changed,” Pepa told him, and Buck froze.

His— his scent had changed?

He knew that happened with pregnant Omegas, a biological imperative to make anyone who came near aware and protective of their condition. He hadn’t thought it would happen so soon. Neither May nor Maddie had mentioned it to him.

“Oh,” Buck punched out, staring at his hands on the table.

“How far along are you?” Pepa asked primly.

“Nine weeks,” Buck whispered. His eyes landed on hers apprehensively. “I have an ultrasound picture, if you’d like to see?”

“Well, go on,” Pepa said, gracefully sitting down in the chair adjacent to Buck.

Buck got up, walking on unsteady legs to Eddie’s bedroom, where he kept his now-growing collection of ultrasound pictures. He was careful to select one of the latest ones, which had “Baby Diaz” printed neatly in the corner instead of “Baby Buckley”, as he’d requested.

After returning to the kitchen, he slid the ultrasound over to Pepa on the table, his heart in his throat.

Pepa surveyed the ultrasound, brushing her fingers over it as if it were something precious. “Gemelos,” she murmured with awe. “Twins,” she tacked on, upon seeing Buck’s confused face. “Oh, cariño, this is such a joy.”

“Yeah, it is,” Buck whispered back, surprising himself at how much he meant it. Ignoring the mess of the situation, he wouldn’t trade the babies growing in his belly for the world.

Pepa’s eyes seemed to sparkle. “I always had an inkling you and Eddito were matched,” Pepa told him conspiratorially. “Ever since you two showed up at the hospital like a pair in your little outfits. Eddito’s never been able to keep his eyes off you.”

Buck swallowed, guilt sinking low in his stomach. He didn’t want to lead Pepa astray.

“It’s not like that,” Buck said heavily. “We’re not—” He found himself at a loss for words. “It was a spur-of-the-moment thing. He doesn’t feel that way about me.”

Pepa eyed him critically, then sighed. “Eddito was never good at seeing the things right in front of him.” She shook her head, making a displeased noise. “I would’ve thought Helena and Ramon would have raised him better, leaving his pregnant mate all alone.”

“He doesn’t know,” Buck was quick to say, feeling the need to defend Eddie’s honor. “And I don’t… I don’t know how to tell him.”

Pepa was silent for a long moment, watching Buck contemplatively. “It’s your news to share,” Pepa finally said, diplomatically. She covered his hand on the table with her own. “I’ve seen the way he looks at you and Christopher, Evancito, I can’t imagine he’d be unhappy at the news of more little feet pattering around this house.” She grinned. “Especially if they get those eyes.”

Buck ducked his head bashfully. “You really think so?”

“I know so,” Pepa said with conviction. “LA could use some more Diazes running around.” Her grin turned impish, as if they were in on a shared secret. “‘Causing trouble.”

“Oh, they’re already trouble,” Buck confirmed, his skin practically glowing from Pepa’s affection and approval. It was like something out of his wildest dreams.

Pepa stood, ambling over to the stove. “This is going to take a while,” She told him. “Why don’t you tell me how those gemelos are already running amok?”

—

The following day, Buck made the journey to Pepa’s house.

She had left shortly after he’d eaten, giving him stern orders to rest that night and to come visit her if he felt up to it. She had cryptically informed him that she had some things to show him and had left it at that.

Buck wrung his hands nervously outside her door. When she finally swung the door open, her smile was bright.

“Come in, come in,” She said hurriedly, ushering him inside.

“What did you want to show me?” Buck asked, not wanting to be rude, but also on the edge of his seat.

“Follow me,” Pepa said excitedly. “I think you’ll get a kick out of these.”

Buck trekked through the house, eagerly following her lead. She directed them to a spare bedroom at the back of the house, which was piled high with boxes of various items.

“There were some things that Helena and Ramon threatened to get rid of after Eddie left home,” Pepa explained. “He didn’t have room for them at the house, so I took it upon myself to keep them here.”

“What…?” Buck blinked confusedly as Pepa strode over to one of the boxes. She dug around for a moment before brandishing a light blue photo album, the cover plush and soft.

She handed it to Buck, who stared at it with wide eyes.

“Is this…?” His fingers traced over the cover, and he had to fight tears as he realized what he was holding. “Is this Eddie’s baby book?”

“Yes,” Pepa confirmed. “And I have more where that came from.”

An hour later, Buck was sitting cross-legged on the floor, perusing through every photo album Pepa could provide. He’d seen countless pictures of Eddie as a baby, making his heart clench. His mind was full of images of Eddie at nearly every age—Eddie with missing teeth and a shark-finned five year old appropriate mohawk, Eddie with his sisters on numerous Halloweens, Eddie on his first day of school, Eddie at his first middle school dance, practically glaring at the camera, stiff in his over-sized suit, Eddie in a tiny baseball uniform, with cherub cheeks and a winning smile, Eddie at all about ten years old, holding a newborn Adriana in his arms with a look of pure wonder.

Pepa was delighted when she got her hands on an album filled to the brim with snapshots of Eddie in full ballroom regalia, his hair so caked with gel that Buck was aghast at how they ever could have washed it out.

Buck never knew that Eddie did ballroom dancing, or that he’d done it competitively.

“He was so talented, too,” Pepa told Buck proudly. “He and Gabriela won every competition they were in.”

“He never told me he did ballroom,” Buck whispered, turning over each page with gentle, awe-struck fingers.

“That’s Eddito,” Pepa said fondly. “Our man of mystery.”

She ushered Buck up off the floor once he’d finished most of the photo albums.

“Now, where did I put…” Pepa trailed off, mainly muttering to herself, and she looked through a collection of boxes in the far corner of the room. “Ay! Here!” She exclaimed, gesturing Buck towards a box filled with trophies. “Our little baseball star.”

Buck picked up some of the trophies and examined them. Pepa set her sights on another box, pulling out a print of Eddie’s senior portrait. As fun as it had been sorting through all the pictures of baby Eddie, the senior portrait was the one that had Buck wiping at his eyes as he took it in.

Eddie was still painfully young in the portrait, missing the smile lines that Buck had come to memorize over the years, but this was more recognizable to him as his Eddie—the Eddie he missed so ferociously, it was like one of his limbs had been cut off.

He’d always been strikingly handsome, and downright pretty, with long lashes framing his dark eyes, and his fang-teethed smile that Buck now knew what it felt like to have pressed against his throat. It was almost bizarre, looking at this version of Eddie, who hadn’t yet had the weight of the world balanced on his shoulders.

Buck eyes found their way back to the box of trophies, and he cleared his throat. “I hope they look like him,” He admitted, his voice watery and hoarse.

He picked up a picture of Eddie in a baseball uniform, filtered over in black and white, making it appear older, like it was a piece of ancient history. His face was flat and expressionless, with no hint of a smile. His dark lashes framed his dark eyes, and Buck’s thumb brushed over the picture. He knew Eddie had played baseball in high school, and he had no reservations about telling stories of his time on the team. He knew Eddie was their pitcher, and according to him, could throw a fly-ball like nobody’s business.

Knowing and seeing the evidence were two entirely different things.

Eddie wasn’t too far off from Christopher’s age in the photo. He was still a baby, really. A baby that had been forced to grow up too fast and then had been sent off to war.

Buck’s throat tightened.

He missed him.

Missing him didn’t even cover it. Missing him wasn’t a strong enough word for what he felt. He ached, like a black hole had opened in his chest, one that grew bigger with each passing day.

He wished Eddie were here, for once not for the twins, but for him.

He wished he could hear Eddie’s laugh, embarrassed groans, and protests over Buck seeing these intimate childhood photos of him. He could vividly imagine Eddie’s bright pink cheeks and denials that any of these trophies were a big deal.

His eyes landed on a piece of black fabric next, folded neatly at the bottom of the box. He gingerly eased it free of its confines, revealing that it was a baseball jersey, the same one from the photo. The word “Sierra” was printed in white on the front, along with the number “23.” Buck flipped it over, smiling at the “Diaz” also in white on the back, surrounded with scribbles of gold Sharpie, that Buck surmised were the signatures of his teammates, done probably after their last game together.

Buck was overwhelmed with a rush of Eddie’s scent, potent despite the number of years the jersey had lived in the box. It still smelled like him, his scent never wavering.

Buck held the jersey close to his chest protectively, breathing in his scent.

He flushed bright red when he remembered that Pepa was still in the room.

“Why don’t you take that home with you?” Pepa said softly, her eyes suddenly sad. “It’ll serve better use with you than sitting in that box.”

Buck nodded dumbly, blushing further when he noticed he hadn’t let go of the jersey, holding onto it for dear life.

“And here, take this, too,” Pepa said, handing over the pastel blue baby book. “We’ll have to get on making one for your gemelos.”

“Thank you,” Buck choked out, dropping both the baby book and the jersey to reel Pepa in for a hug.

“My nephew is a very lucky man,” Pepa said decisively. “Now, let me make you some lunch? Hmm? I know your gemelos must be getting hungry, cariño.”

“I could eat,” Buck replied, giving one last once-over around the room. “But you have to let me help you this time.”

“A man after my own heart,” Pepa joked, and Buck laughed, all of the tension bleeding from his shoulders.

────────────────────────────────────

“...every minute counts…”

— “bags” / clairo

────────────────────────────────────

TEN WEEKS

────────────────────────────────────

To say Buck was anxious about returning to the station would be the understatement of the century.

The medicine he was prescribed had taken the edge off of most of his nausea, though it still washed over him in waves. There was also a level of exhaustion, set deep in his bones, that no amount of sleep could quench. His joints ached, and he had a low-grade headache almost all the time, which were symptoms he didn’t even know he could have, despite reading through most of Maddie’s informative baby books when she was pregnant the first time around.

Maddie was handling her second pregnancy like a champ. It was barely slowing her down, and Buck was a little envious.

Scratch that, he was extremely envious, but he wouldn’t dare voice it to her. She deserved an easy pregnancy after everything. Plus, it wasn’t her fault he was lugging around two Diazes for the price of one.

To make matters worse, it wasn’t until Buck was in the shower that morning, getting ready, that it became evident he’d popped.

He’d been so distracted the last week, taking perfunctory showers and milling about in baggy sweats, that it had escaped his notice completely.

Surely, it couldn’t have sprung up overnight. Could it?

Buck blinked through the shower spray, stepping back and wiping the water from his face. The newfound bump at the bottom of his stomach was small, yet unmistakable. It was a tad early for him to be showing, though, with twins, he rationalized, he’d eventually get massive.

Buck’s hands cupped his bump, resting over it gingerly. Here was the physical proof that he had two lives growing inside of him. Two lives that it was his responsibility to protect above all else.

Buck huffed, rubbing over his belly. “You two just wanted to show off for work, huh?”

He’d started talking to the twins more when he was alone. It was comforting. They made great sounding boards, never mind the fact that they were currently the size of strawberries. Buck had downloaded an app on his phone that told him what fruit his babies were comparable in size to, with every weekly milestone. It made it easier for him to conceptualize their size in his mind.

Two little precious strawberries, who wanted to kick up a fuss by making themselves known with a tiny bump on his first day back at work. Unbelievable. They were Diazes for sure.

Buck toweled himself off, made himself a simple breakfast of toast and tea, two items that had become his staples for an easy stomach in the mornings, and then clamored into his Jeep, his gear bag flung haphazardly in his passenger seat.

He drove to the station one-handed, the other on his belly the entire time. He wanted to get in his fill before his shift. He wouldn’t be able to hold his belly at all for the next 24 hours, as that would give him away in a heartbeat.

He knew Bobby had given Hen, Chim, and Ravi a stern run-down not to press about what was going on with him. He also knew that Hen, Chim, and Ravi were nosy busy-bodies who wouldn’t leave him alone until they got answers, so he was bracing himself.

At least they all had the decency to not show up at his house unannounced to demand answers. He’d had enough visitors the last two weeks.

He arrived at the station early, taking a minute to breathe in the safe confines of his Jeep. He could do this. He loved his job. There was nothing to worry about.

He unhooked his phone from CarPlay, shooting out a text to Eddie before he could overthink it.

7:42 AM [Buck]: strawberries aren’t berries, but bananas are

He tucked his phone in his pocket, throwing his gear bag over his shoulder, and scrambled across the parking lot, flipping his keys between his fingers.

He wanted to be early enough to sneak in a word with Bobby ahead of everyone else’s arrival.

He stepped into the older man’s office, closing the door behind him.

“Hey, Buck,” Bobby said jovially. “Did you need something?”

“I’m gonna need a bigger uniform,” He blurted out, with no preamble.

“Right,” Bobby said, taken aback. “Right, that makes sense.” Bobby nodded a few times, then started rifling through one of the cabinets behind him. “I can put in an order, but it’s probably going to take a few days to come in. Can you make it through the next couple of shifts with the uniform you have?”

Buck hesitated. “I’m not sure.”

“Okay, let me take a look at some of the spares we have on hand and see if I can find a pair of pants that are a size up from yours, then I’ll put through the order.” He paused. “I’ll go ahead and order a few sizes so we don’t keep running into this issue.”

“Thank you,” Buck said emphatically. “I didn’t realize until this morning that I’ve started showing.”

Bobby’s eyes softened. “I think it might be best if you're man behind today, just to ease yourself in.”

Now it was Buck’s turn to nod. A small part of him wanted to protest. The prospect of spending his entire shift doing chores wasn’t exactly appealing, but the thought of running into calls with the team left him a little shaky, especially with his new bump on his mind.

“Roger that, Cap,” Buck said, offering him a small smile.

“We’ll have you back out there for your next couple of shifts, if you’re feeling up for it. I’ll have you mainly working crowd control and assisting Hen or Chim on med calls. If we get any big emergencies, I do want you to stay as man behind. I don’t want to risk anything,” Bobby told him, clearly bracing himself for Buck to pitch a fit.

“That’s fine. I get it. I don’t—“ He licked his lips. “I don’t want to risk anything either. I’d never forgive myself if something happened.”

“That’s good, kid. I’m proud of you,” Bobby said, and Buck lit up from the praise. “Now, head on down to the locker room while I go on the hunt for some pants.”

“You got it,” Buck agreed, mock-saluting him on his way out to deposit his belongings in the locker room before anyone else came in.

—

For the entirety of Buck’s shift, he did his best to avoid Chimney, Hen, and Ravi’s worried glances. He could tell they were perturbed by his new status of being man behind and he waited for one of them to corner him and interrogate him, Bobby’s orders to be damned.

Thankfully, that never came to fruition.

Chimney and Hen reluctantly seemed to be giving him space, and Ravi followed their lead.

Buck was aware he was on a countdown clock. They would only give him space for so long. His belly would become unmistakable in a few weeks, and there would be no hiding it from them then.

He just needed a little more time to work everything out. He hoped fervently that the universe would grant him his wish.

────────────────────────────────────

ELEVEN WEEKS

────────────────────────────────────

With every ultrasound, Buck appeared only to gather more stragglers.

Maddie had taken off work, insisting to be by his side for his dating scan, while May had shown up, too, as promised. She arrived with Ravi behind her, causing Buck to shoot them a wide-eyed, panicked look.

“Don’t worry, your secret’s safe with me,” Ravi assured him immediately. “I don’t even talk to Eddie outside of work like that.” He lowered his voice. “Plus, Omega solidarity, man.”

“You’re gonna have to help me keep things under wraps at work now, I hope you know,” Buck said after a beat.

“I figured,” Ravi replied, nodding seriously.

May gave Buck an apologetic smile. “We’re getting smoothies after this, and I didn’t want to just leave him in the car.”

Buck laughed out loud at the affronted look Ravi sent towards May.

They were ushered into a room without much fanfare, and this time, Buck didn’t have any nerves. He knew the drill by now.

When Dr. Cho came in, he had already rucked up his shirt and slung his pants low on his hips, revealing his small, yet still noticeable bump.

“Well,” Dr. Cho said, smiling encouragingly as she spread the ultrasound jelly onto Buck’s stomach. “It looks like you brought the cavalry today.”

“Yeah,” Buck said, unable to hide his happiness at Maddie holding one of his hands and May holding the other. For the first time during his entire pregnancy debacle, he felt supported, and as if he might have a handle on it after all.

When he left the ultrasound, riding in the passenger seat of Maddie’s car, he was elated.

He was having identical twins.

He couldn’t wipe the smile off his face, even after he’d been dropped off and was alone in the house.

He pulled out his phone, wanting to tell Eddie the good news. He wanted to share his jubilation with his best friend.

His thumb hovered over the call button when reality came crashing down around him.

He couldn’t tell Eddie because Eddie didn’t know.

His mood soured almost instantaneously.

Right. He couldn’t believe that even for a brief moment he had forgotten.

He allowed himself to wonder, fleetingly, if maybe keeping this all from Eddie was a mistake. He wanted to experience his amazement and joy with him—not as his Alpha, or even the father—but as his partner, his best friend.

He sucked in a sharp breath.

Instead of calling Eddie like he was aching for, he typed out a text. Communicating in code to Eddie with his fun facts was the best he could do.

8:13 PM [Buck]: did you know that identical twins have the same exact dna but they still have different fingerprints

He closed out of his messaging app and opened a new Safari tab. He placed an order for the book he’d had his eye on the last few weeks, figuring he should get started on something productive.

The confirmation page seared his eyes as he mulled over his purchase. He’d soon be the owner of a book listing every saint-inspired baby name in existence. If he couldn’t tell Eddie, he could do this, and pretend like they were in it together.

────────────────────────────────────

“you got me punch-drunk love annoyed.”

— “kitchen” / kid cudi

────────────────────────────────────

FOURTEEN WEEKS

────────────────────────────────────

The next few weeks passed quicker than Buck had anticipated. His belly had begun to grow rapidly, now visible if he dared to wear so much as a t-shirt. He had surrendered himself to only wearing the baggiest hoodies he could find, regardless of the weather, and all of his jeans were a lost cause.

He’d gone through two different-sized uniforms at work and could only hide his stomach if he hiked up his pants so that they were oddly high-waisted. Chimney and Hen had given him funny looks, and Buck was sure the only reason they hadn’t teased him was because Ravi had covered for him, saying he liked how it looked and that it was the new fashion. Buck was endlessly grateful that May had brought him into their secret circle, having two allies in Bobby and Ravi at work made things considerably easier.

He knew he was rapidly encroaching a point of no return and that he would have to tell them soon. He gave himself a deadline of twenty weeks—by then, he would let them know.

Maddie had even informed him that Chimney was pestering her about what was going on. She relayed that she had told him that Buck wasn’t technically sick, he wasn’t dying, and that she knew what was plaguing him. That seemed to settle his curiosity, at least for the moment.

Dr. Cho was a little concerned that his nausea was still hanging around, coming and going at the most inconvenient of times. He was now in his second trimester, and his morning sickness should have subsided. She tentatively theorized that his nausea was most likely a symptom of the OAS he had refused to treat. He had agreed, though remained steadfast in his refusal of treatment. He assured her that he just needed more time to get over it.

She didn’t know that he would never get over Eddie Diaz for as long as he lived. He couldn’t imagine explaining to her that Eddie wasn’t someone you could merely get over.

He was awoken groggily from a late-afternoon, early-evening, post-shift nap by Pepa repeatedly calling him. He frowned, answering her and sitting up quickly.

“Ay! Gracias a Dios!” She exclaimed upon Buck answering the phone. “I was worried you weren’t going to answer!”

“Pepa?” Buck said incredulously. “Is everything alright?”

“Evancito, are you sitting down?” She pressed, sounding in a rush.

“Umm, yeah? Why?” Buck said, now starting to worry.

“I wanted to give you a warning so you could make yourself and the house presentable, even though the tonto insisted on it being a surprise,” Pepa said meaningfully.

“Wait, on what being a surprise?” Buck asked, feeling a shot of adrenaline rip through his veins. He was suddenly wide awake, his heart pounding. Surely, she couldn’t mean—

“I’m on my way to the airport to pick up Edmundo and Chris. They’ve flown in for a visit.” Pepa broke the news to him. Buck picked up on her use of Eddie’s full name and not her usual fond Eddito, signifying to him that she was annoyed. “I’m sorry to spring this on you, but at least now you have some time to prepare.”

“I— yeah,” Buck said a little dumbly. “Thank you for telling me.”

“Of course, Evancito. I’ll see you soon,” Pepa said, then promptly hung up.

As much as Buck was petrified of their impending arrival, another part of him was positively singing. His inner Omega was practically purring.

His Alpha and pup were coming home. He was going to see Eddie; his Eddie.

He flung himself off the couch in a haste. His eyes raked rapidly over the house, and soon he was in a flurry of motion. He ran around the house, organizing and picking up all the little messes he could see. Once the living room was presentable, he rushed to Eddie’s room, bundling up any remnants of the depressing nest he’d built. Once he was finished, and the bed was clear, he felt a little raw and unsettled, his instincts protesting at no longer having a nest.

He shoved it down. He didn’t have time for it.

He glanced at the time on his phone. He didn’t have time for a shower, either, despite probably needing one. He combed through his hair haphazardly, attempting to tame the curls that were flattened on one side due to his nap.

As he glanced down at his stomach, a rush of nerves hit him full force, and within seconds he was bent over the toilet, throwing up every single thing that he had eaten that day.

After everything had been expelled from his system, he forced himself to get up with shaky hands and shaky limbs. He brushed his teeth, cycling through three rounds of mouthwash for good measure.

He could do this. He would be fine. It was Eddie and Chris. He pep-talked himself mentally in the mirror. He went back to the bedroom, steadfastly ignoring the hole in his chest at the lack of a nest on the bed. He changed into the biggest sweatshirt and sweatpants he could find that weren’t dirty, pulling the sweatshirt away from his body repeatedly—a nervous tick he had picked up the last few weeks.

With time counting down, he slapped a spare scent-blocking patch on his neck and both wrists. If Pepa and Maddie had sussed out his change of scent, he had no doubt that Eddie would clock it right away, and he didn’t want to risk that being the way Eddie found out.

He was in the process of wiping down the kitchen counters when he heard the sound of the doorbell.

He wiped his hands on his pants to stall, just for a moment. He could feel his heart beating in his throat.

He made his way to the door and yanked it open before he could stop himself.

The sight of Eddie greeted him on the doorstep.

He was beautiful.

It wasn’t like Buck had forgotten. He’d seen his face on FaceTime plenty in the months he’d been gone. Though, seeing him pixelated on the other end of a phone screen was completely different to seeing him in person.

It hit him, like a boot to the chest, how much he’d missed him.

“Eddie,” He said breathlessly.

Eddie’s grin was bright, nearly taking up his whole face. “Surprise,” He said, and Buck could feel tears prickling at the corners of his eyes over his voice. Phone speakers should be put to shame because nothing compared to the real-life sound.

“Buck!” Christopher screeched excitedly, popping out from behind Eddie.

And oh, he’d gotten so big since the last time Buck saw him. He had to have grown a foot.

“Chris!” Buck shouted back, his tears escaping and flowing freely as Chris tossed his crutches forcefully in Eddie’s direction and threw himself into Buck’s arms. Buck wrapped his arms around him tightly, burying his face into his mop of curls, breathing in his scent. “I missed you so much,” He croaked wetly.

“I missed you, too, Buck,” Chris said, laughing as Buck rocked him back and forth.

Chris pulled back, wrinkling his nose. “Why are you wearing scent patches?”

“Christopher, don’t be rude,” Pepa admonished, making her presence known behind Eddie.

“I must have forgotten to take them off after my shift,” Buck said, feeling fleetingly guilty for lying to Chris.

“Tia Pepa said she would make us all dinner,” Chris said happily. “And then I can tell you all about how Dad yelled at Grandma and Abuelo. It was so cool.”

“Chris!” Eddie chastised, earning him a legendary eye roll from Christopher.

“Sure, buddy,” Buck said, raising his eyebrow at Eddie. “Go wash your hands for dinner, and then we can catch up, okay?”

“Okay!” Chris said brightly, nabbing his crutches from Eddie to amble into the kitchen.

Pepa breezed past him. “I’ll get started on dinner, Evancito,” She said, winking at him before following Christopher, leaving Buck and Eddie alone in the entryway.

Buck shut the front door, sucking in breath when he turned around and Eddie was only a few inches away. He got a waft of his scent, and it almost made his knees buckle.

“Hey,” Eddie said softly, his eyes looking Buck up and down.

“Hey,” Buck returned, licking his lips around his dry mouth.

Eddie shoved his hands in his pockets. “Do I get a hug, or was that just for Christopher?”

Buck took a step forward, then another, so that they were almost pressed against each other. He put his hand on Eddie’s chest. “Hmm, I think only for Christopher,” He teased, beginning the motion of side-stepping Eddie, to float right past him.

“You’re so—” Eddie bit out, laughing, and it was music to Buck’s ears. He grabbed Buck’s waist, and Buck laughed loudly as he reeled his body into a bone-crushing hug. “God, I missed you.”

Buck greedily breathed in Eddie’s scent. “I missed you, too,” He whispered.

He relished Eddie encompassing him, their bodies molded together, when the thought occurred to him.

Like this, Eddie would feel his belly.

He jerked back abruptly, yanking himself from Eddie’s embrace. Eddie looked startled, and Buck stumbled over himself, putting distance between them.

“I’m gonna go see what those masterminds are cooking up,” Buck said hurriedly, rapidly increasing the space between him and Eddie. He practically ran into the kitchen, leaving Eddie in the entryway.

Smooth, Buckley. He chided himself. Real, smooth.

Pepa stole him away in the kitchen when Eddie and Chris were briefly distracted by setting the table in the dining room.

“Are you sure what I’m making won’t upset your stomach?” She asked him quietly.

Buck gave her a half-hearted shrug. “I’ll do my best to keep up appearances. Don’t worry about me.”

She patted him comfortingly on the cheek. “I always worry about you, Evancito.”

Buck wrapped her in a hug. “I’m so glad that you’re here.” He said, his voice warbly and emotional.

Pepa pulled back. “I bet you’re glad your boys are back, too,” She said with a little twinkle in her eye.

Buck flushed, glancing over at Eddie and Chris. “Yeah, but the question is for how long. You said it was just for a visit, right?”

“I think you need to talk to Edmundo,” Pepa said, giving a significant look to Buck’s belly.

He let out a sigh, rubbing the back of his neck. “I’ll get to it,” He promised, and that seemed to satisfy her for the time being.

All in all, dinner was an exulting affair. Chris was delighted to tell Buck all about how Eddie had stormed into his childhood home and stood up for himself, telling his parents in no uncertain terms that he was done with the manipulative games they were playing. He was taking Chris, and he was taking him home.

Buck tried not to let himself get too excited at the prospect of LA still being home for the both of them, as he pushed around food on his plate. He had managed a few bites when he caught Eddie looking at him, and his stomach lurched in protest.

Pepa, always the saint, picked up on when he was beginning to wane.

“Buck and I will clear these plates,” She said, swooping up Buck’s mostly full plate of food before it had the chance to be properly scrutinized. “Why don’t you boys make yourselves comfortable in the living room?”

“Oh, no, Tia, I can help you wash up,” Eddie was quick to offer, while Buck attempted to not appear as panicked as he felt. “I’m sure Chris would appreciate some Buck time.”

He smiled over at Buck, and Buck had to work hard to return it.

“No, that’s fine, Eddie, I got it,” Buck insisted hastily, already standing up from the table. Eddie frowned as he gathered up the rest of their plates. “You and Chris should set up a movie in the living room.”

He followed Pepa into the kitchen, only breathing out a sigh of relief when Eddie and Chris moved to the living room, engaged in a hushed conversation he couldn’t hear.

Pepa ushered him out of view of the doorway and over to the sink. “How are you feeling? Was dinner too much?”

“I barely ate any, I’m sorry,” Buck managed, pressing a hand to his belly.

Pepa tutted, flouncing over to the refrigerator where she brandished a can of ginger ale. Buck had been keeping them on hand throughout his entire journey. Sometimes it helped his stomach, sometimes it didn’t.

“Drink this,” She instructed, handing him the can. Buck sipped on it as she also procured a small cup of applesauce. It was one of his safe foods, something reliable that never seemed to upset his stomach, even when he was at his worst. “You should get something into your system.”

“Thank you,” Buck whimpered, peeling off the tab and dipping the contents of the cup into his mouth, not even bothering with a spoon.

“I put aside some plain rice while I was making dinner, for if you get hungry later,” Pepa said, and Buck nodded.

“Your help has meant so much, Pepa, really.”

Pepa waved her hand. “Anything for my Evancito and his little gemelos.”

“I was actually reading the other day about how—”

“Hey, sorry to interrupt,” Eddie said, suddenly in the doorway. Buck hid his empty applesauce cup behind his back, praying that Eddie didn’t see the can of ginger ale on the counter.

“It’s fine,” Buck said, as Pepa shot Eddie a wholly unimpressed look.

“Chris is tired, probably from the plane. We were trying to figure out where he should sleep.” Eddie said, glancing between Buck and Pepa warily.

“He can sleep in his room,” Buck said, like it was obvious. “I didn’t touch it. It should all be the same.”

“Oh,” Eddie said, as if he hadn’t been expecting that. “Okay, well then I’ll just…” He trailed off, backing out of the kitchen with a gesture of his thumb towards the living room.

“Yeah, I’ll come and say goodnight,” Buck offered. He waited until Eddie was out of sight to drink a few more gulps of the ginger ale.

“I guess that’s my cue,” Pepa said, taking the can from him. “I’ll finish cleaning up and then head out. Are you going to be alright tonight?”

“Yeah, I’ll be alright,” Buck assured her. “You get home safe, okay?”

“Of course,” Pepa said primly.

Buck made his way down the hall to Christopher’s room, where Chris had changed and was already climbing into his bed. Buck thought distantly that they should probably get him a bigger one if he was staying, since it was clear he’d outgrown the double bed. His room was kind of small for a queen, but, they’d make it work.

“Hey, Buck,” Chris said, smiling.

“Hey, bud,” Buck said, grinning at him from the doorway. “Do you want me to read you a story?”

Chris snorted. “Oh my God. I’m fourteen, not seven.”

“Hmm, I dunno, you’re looking pretty tiny in that bed. Are you sure you don’t want a bedtime story?” Buck teased.

“You’re so lame. I’m going to bed,” Chris said with a faux-annoyed huff.

Eddie was the first to leave Chris’s room, and Buck went to follow, switching off the light, when Chris piped up, his voice uncharacteristically small.

“Aren’t you gonna wish me goodnight?”

Buck’s chest tightened around a rush of emotion. He may pretend to be a big, bad, surly teenager now, however, it seemed he hadn’t forgotten the nightly tradition they’d started when he was much smaller.

“Of course, buddy,” Buck said, working to keep his voice even.

He went over to Chris’s bedside and brushed through his curls, leaning down to peck his forehead. “Night, night. Have some sweet candy-coated dreams for me, okay?”

Chris sighed softly. “Night, Buck.”

Buck shut the door quietly behind him. Once it was closed, he saw Eddie leaning against the wall in front of him, his arms crossed, with an unbearably fond expression on his face.

“Hey,” He said quietly.

“Hey,” Buck whispered back, mirroring their previous interaction.

Eddie cocked his head in the direction of the living room. “Do you wanna watch a movie?”

So this is how it was going to be, then.

Eddie was going to come sweeping in and pretend like nothing had happened. Like they were picking up where they left off, and he hadn’t been gone for months. Like he hadn’t left Buck to pick up all the broken pieces he’d driven away from, with only a cursory wave out his driver's side window.

Buck felt himself deflate. “How long are you guys staying?” He asked, unable to help himself. If they were leaving again, he needed to mentally prepare.

Eddie sucked his teeth, glancing away. “Chris is off school for the next week. After that, we’ll probably go back. I have to deal with some stuff with the house.”

Buck knew his face was falling, and there was nothing he could do to control it.

“Okay,” Buck said, sullen, and he averted his gaze to his socked feet, unable to look at Eddie.

“Buck—” Eddie started, though, that seemed to be the beginning and end of his sentence.

“Yeah, let’s watch a movie,” Buck said, his voice clipped.

He peeled himself off the door, heading into the living room. He didn’t check behind him to see if Eddie was following him.

He sat on the couch. He wanted to tuck his knees up to his chest and was momentarily frustrated that he couldn’t anymore, with his belly in the way. He made sure his sweatshirt flowed away from his body, hiding it.

Eddie shuffled into the living room a few minutes later and sat down next to Buck on the couch, stiffly.

Buck turned on the TV and put on the first movie that popped up on the service he selected, not paying any attention to what it was. He needed something to fill the silence.

There was a stone, heavy, in the pit of his stomach.

“Buck, hey, listen—” Eddie said during a lull in the movie.

Buck didn’t want to hear it. He was tired, and angry, and achey.

“Shh,” He said. “I’m watching the movie.”

“Okay,” Eddie said, sighing.

He inched a little closer to Buck on the couch, and Buck didn’t pull away.

As angry and tired as he was, he couldn’t ignore how much he missed Eddie. It was stupid, and definitely unhealthy, but he knew he would let Eddie in. He would let Eddie break his heart over and over again, because it was Eddie.

Eddie slung his arm over the back of the couch, right behind where Buck was sitting. He rested it there for a while, and then—

“C’mere,” He said, his voice soft.

Buck leaned into him. He dipped his head, allowing it to fall into place on Eddie’s shoulder.

He breathed in his scent, shutting his eyes.

He dozed off like that for a while, unintentionally.

He was awoken, groggily, an unknown amount of time later by Eddie shaking him awake.

“C’mon, let’s get you to bed,” Eddie murmured.

Buck’s mind was hazy, in a fog of sleep, and he couldn’t get his limbs to work. He whined, pressing his face further into Eddie’s neck.

“I’m gonna have to carry you, aren’t I?” Eddie said, more to himself than to Buck. His voice was full of mirth.

“Tired,” Buck whimpered, unable to keep his eyes open.

Buck was momentarily weightless as Eddie maneuvered him off the couch, his hands strong and sure. He lifted Buck up bridal style, and Buck could only cling on, burying his face into Eddie’s collarbone.

“I know, baby,” Eddie whispered, so quietly that Buck wondered if he heard it at all.

Buck must have dozed on the walk down the hallway, because the next time he blinked his eyes open, he was being deposited tenderly onto Eddie’s bed.

“Where are you sleeping?” He asked, his face scrunching up.

“I’ll take the couch. It’s okay. Go back to sleep,” Eddie said, running his hand down Buck’s arm. “I’m just gonna change really quick.”

Buck rolled onto his side, placing his palm over his belly on autopilot.

He heard the faint sound of rustling drawers before it stopped abruptly.

“Buck?” Eddie’s voice filtered in.

“Hmm?” Buck hummed.

“Why do you have my old baseball jersey?” Eddie prompted, something unreadable in his tone.

“Pepa gave it to me,” Buck said, his filter gone in the film of sleep. “Saw your baby pictures.”

Eddie made a choked sound.

“Missed you,” Buck said, painstakingly honest, in the way that only came with being half-asleep.

“I’ll have to look at yours, as revenge,” Eddie said, closer than Buck remembered him being a minute ago.

Buck curled around himself more, snuggling further into the bedding beneath him.

“I don’t think there are any,” He slurred, sure that his words were mostly unintelligible.

Eddie made another noise, this time indecipherable.

It was the last thing Buck heard before he fell back asleep.

Chapter Text

—

Buck woke up early the next morning in a tangle of covers. He had a brief flash of Eddie moving him from the couch to the bed. He raked his hands down his face and groaned.

Eddie and Chris were here, for a short time, and it was like he’d forgotten how to be normal.

He had a few, blessed minutes of peace before his stomach rolled and his gag reflex kicked in. He’d hardly eaten anything the previous night, so he knew he’d be mostly throwing up bile. His stomach hadn’t gotten the memo and wanted to enact its favorite routine of making him hurl first thing in the morning.

His alarm hadn’t even gone off yet.

Buck flung himself up and did his best to creep into the hallway bathroom as quietly as he could manage. He had enough time to close the door and slink to his knees in front of the toilet before he was throwing up.

God, he hated getting sick. He hated the way his eyes would tear up, how his throat would burn, and the icky, wrong feeling in his stomach that wouldn’t pass until he was done.

He laid his forehead against the cool porcelain of the toilet seat, gasping.

He was numb to his surroundings as he swallowed down another painful round of nausea, too focused on getting breaths in as his heart thudded rapidly, surging with adrenaline. He blamed it on that when he flinched wildly at a hand on his back.

“Buck?” Came Eddie’s voice, dripping with concern. “Hey, what’s wrong?”

“Go away, I’m fine,” Buck garbled out, mortified at Eddie finding him like this.

Eddie didn’t listen, and his hand rubbed soothingly up and down Buck’s back as he gagged, expelling nothing but strings of spit into the toilet.

“It’s okay, get it out,” Eddie crooned, sitting next to him on the bathroom floor.

Buck grabbed wildly for a chunk of toilet paper to wipe his tear-filled eyes and blow his nose.

“I’m fine, Eddie, seriously,” He croaked, his voice hoarse and raw.

Eddie stood up, not saying a word. Buck closed his eyes, and collapsed his body next to the toilet, to give his knees a break. He heard the sound of the sink, and when he opened his eyes, Eddie was in front of him with a wet washcloth.

“I got it,” He said, reaching for it.

Eddie shook his head, his eyes stormy and his lips pressed into a tight thin line. He crouched down, running the cold, wet cloth along Buck’s flushed forehead and cheeks. He finished by wiping the spit from Buck’s mouth.

When he finally spoke, it was clear he was upset. “You’re still wearing your scent patches from last night.”

Buck sucked in a breath.

“I think,” Eddie said carefully, tossing the washcloth onto the counter and bracing himself against it. “It’s because you don’t want me to smell that you’re sick.”

“‘M not sick,” Buck mumbled weakly.

Eddie scoffed.

“I’m not. Eds, I’m not sick, I promise,” Buck insisted.

“Buck,” Eddie said, his tone flat. “You’re shaking.”

He was shaking. Eddie wasn’t wrong.

“It’ll pass, in a minute,” Buck told him, and Eddie’s face twitched.

“You said you would tell me if something was wrong,” Eddie said, and this time he didn’t sound upset, he sounded gutted.

“Nothing’s wrong,” Buck said, and even though it was the truth, it felt like a lie anyway. “I’m fine. I gotta go get ready for work.”

“Like hell you’re going to work like this,” Eddie snapped.

The exhaustion seeped out of Buck’s bones at his words. Anger bubbled up inside of him, a welcome reprieve from the nausea.

“Are you fucking kidding me?” Buck snapped back, getting to his feet. He was a little wobbly, but he covered it up.

“I’m calling Bobby,” Eddie said, like it was some sort of threat.

Buck laughed, it coming out twisted and strangled. He pushed past Eddie. “Go ahead. Be my fucking guest. I’m going to work.”

Buck stormed into the bedroom, grabbing his phone off the nightstand. He didn’t bother changing out of his sweats. He’d change at the station. He was so mad he needed to get out of the house.

How dare Eddie come back and start making demands. Buck had been the one here, saddled with the entire mess. He was the one forced to make all the tough decisions alone, while Eddie fucked off to Texas. He knew rationally that it was his own fault that Eddie didn’t know, and that Eddie’s leaving was for Chris’s sake and not a personal abandonment, but through the lens of his current anger, it didn’t feel that way.

How dare Eddie come home and just—

“You don’t get to tell me what to do,” Buck seethed, shoving past Eddie again to head out to the living room. He slipped his feet into the first shoes he found by the door, grabbing his car keys with enough force that the rack they hung them on rattled.

“Buck,” Eddie said, and Buck ignored him.

He flung his gear bag over his shoulder. “You lost that right when you fucking left, Eddie.”

Eddie took a step back, as if Buck had dealt him a blow. He opened his mouth to say something. Buck didn’t want to hear it.

“I’m going to work,” Buck bit out, and it took everything in him not to slam the front door behind him.

—

Buck arrived at the station early for his shift, and worse for the wear.

He trudged up to Bobby’s office, stomping his feet like a little kid throwing a tantrum. He threw open the door, tossing his gearbag on the floor. Bobby’s eyebrows flew up to his hairline at Buck’s harried state.

“Is it okay if I change in here?” Buck asked through gritted teeth. He’d gotten in the habit of changing at home before each shift to avoid any awkward moments in the locker room. Those careful plans had been tossed out the window with the events of his morning.

“Umm, sure,” Bobby replied, faltering. “Are you doing okay, kid?”

Buck groaned, flopping down into the seat across from Bobby’s desk. “Eddie’s in town,” He informed him. “And he brought Chris.”

“Is this not a happy visit?” Bobby questioned carefully.

“It was a surprise,” Buck said, shifting in the seat. “They’re only staying for a week. Then they’re going back.”

Bobby’s eyes were piercing, yet still kind. “Have you told him yet?”

“I don’t really see the point when he’s leaving again,” Buck said haughtily.

“I find it hard to believe that he and Chris would leave again if they knew,” Bobby pointed out.

“I don’t want him to stay if the only reason he hasn’t left is because I’m knocked up,” Buck hissed, exhausted at having to retread the same argument on an endless loop.

Bobby held up his hands. “I get that, Buck. I do. But, you’re going to have to tell him at some point. I worry that the longer you keep this from him, the worse the outcome will be when he finds out.”

Buck slumped, all the fight leaving him. “I know,” He whispered.

Bobby stood up, clapping a hand on his shoulder. “You look like hell, kid. Get changed and head on down to the bunk room to try and get some more sleep. The paperwork can wait until you’re awake.”

“Thanks, Bobby,” Buck said, sniffing around a wave of emotions.

“Don’t mention it,” Bobby replied serenely, and then stepped out of his office to give Buck some privacy to change.

—

Buck slunk into Eddie’s house after his shift. He had a little time before his ultrasound appointment. If he had known ahead of time that Eddie was going to be in town, he would have cancelled it, but, it was too late for that now.

Eddie jerked at his entrance from his place on the couch, whipping his head around to stare at Buck with wide eyes.

“You’re home early,” He said, and Buck winced. His eyes narrowed. “Did Bobby send you home early?”

“Umm, no,” Buck said weakly, fussing with his gear bag, and then his shoes, as he took them off and placed them on the rack by the door. “This is my shift now.”

“What?” Eddie sputtered.

Buck couldn’t think of a lie that was passable, so he decided on the truth. Or the half-truth, anyway. “I’m on light duty right now.”

“You’re on light duty,” Eddie parroted, disbelieving. His jaw worked. “You don’t even take sick days. I— Buck. You have to tell me what’s going on.” He stood up from the couch, working his hands through his hair.

Buck opened and closed his mouth. It would be so easy to tell him now. It was just two words. I’m pregnant. It’s all he would have to say. The words tingled on the tip of his tongue.

They were going back in a week, he reminded himself, and the words suddenly died in his throat.

He avoided Eddie’s eyes. “I’m on blood thinners again,” He said roughly, another not-lie, though certainly not the truth.

“You’re on…” Eddie’s sentence trailed off as he looked at Buck, stunned. “Did something happen? Did you get another blood clot? Buck—”

“I didn’t get another blood clot,” Buck rushed to say before Eddie could get the wrong idea.

“They don’t put people on blood thinners for no reason,” Eddie snarked.

“It’s not. Look, it’s just a precaution,” Buck insisted. He checked his watch. Fuck, he was running out of time if he wanted to shower before his ultrasound. “Don’t worry about it, Eddie.”

He attempted to bypass Eddie to head into the hallway, however, Eddie was doing his best impression of a brick wall.

“I have an errand I gotta run. I’m gonna go take a shower, if you would like to move,” Buck said snippily.

Eddie let him pass, reluctantly. “An errand?” He called down the hallway. “What does that mean?”

Buck shut the bathroom door with more force than strictly necessary instead of dignifying him with a response.

After his shower, on his way out, he said, perfectly clipped, “Don’t wait up.”

He was out the door before giving Eddie a chance to reply.

—

One of the things that Buck loved about Eddie was his tenacity. He didn’t forget things and rarely let things go.

In this particular moment, Buck was worn down by how much Eddie seemed hell-bent on getting to the bottom of what was going on with him.

He stepped into the hospital parking lot after his ultrasound, trying to remember which section he parked his Jeep, when he saw him.

Eddie was leaning against the side of his Jeep, his arms crossed. To an average onlooker, he would have appeared perfectly casual, but Buck knew from the tense lines of his shoulders that he was pissed.

“You followed me here?” Buck said, incredulously, as he approached him.

“I still have you on Life360,” Eddie told him, his voice tight. “It said you were at the hospital. You lied to me,” He growled, taking a step forward. “You are sick. I swear to God, Buck, if you don’t tell me what’s fucking wrong—”

Buck clenched his jaw, glancing around the parking lot. It was mostly empty, thankfully. They were no doubt causing a scene.

Buck turned back to face him. “We’re not having this conversation in a fucking parking lot,” He settled on, resolute. His words came out snappish, and he clutched the small folder in his hands with fresh ultrasound pictures until he was close to crushing them. “I’m going home. You can follow me.” Buck told him, brushing past him to get to the driver's side door. “Since you’re so good at that.”

—

Buck got back to the house before Eddie did, which wasn’t exactly a surprise.

He had debated taking the long way home to prolong the talk they were about to have for as long as possible. He knew there was no point, though, and he also knew it would only put Eddie on edge more.

He braced himself, climbing out of the Jeep. As he walked up the driveway, Eddie pulled into his spot.

Buck kept walking, not sparing him a glance over his shoulder despite wanting to.

Once he entered the house, he took a deep, steadying breath, preparing himself.

Eddie was hot on his heels, close behind him. He closed the door, then faced Buck, gesturing his arms out as if to say, ‘Well, spit it out.’

Buck swallowed audibly. “Go sit down. You’re gonna— you’re gonna want to sit down for this.”

Eddie pursed his lips, but did as he was told, sitting down stiffly onto the couch.

The place where they’d gotten into this whole mess.

Buck sat himself gingerly on the coffee table, and realized belatedly he was still holding onto the folder of ultrasound pictures with an iron grip. He let it fall onto the table next to him, bracing his hands on his knees.

He opened his mouth, then closed it, his breath shaky. It was objectively easy; all he had to do was tell him, yet, he was terrified.

Eddie softened, leaning forward. “Buck, it’s me,” Eddie said, unaware that that was most of the problem. “You can tell me anything.”

“Before I— I just want you to know that I don’t expect anything from you, if you don’t want this. I don’t— I’ve been handling it. I can handle it. I know this isn’t what you wanted,” Buck said disjointedly, stumbling over his words.

“Buck,” Eddie said meaningfully, inching closer to put a hand over Buck’s on his knee. “Will you just tell me?”

Buck hesitated, his heart thrumming wildly in his chest.

Then—

“I’m pregnant,” He blurted out.

Eddie jerked back, removing his hand from Buck’s knee. Buck missed its warmth immediately.

“What?” Eddie breathed, his eyes wide.

“I’m pregnant,” Buck said again. “That’s what I was doing. I was at an ultrasound.”

Eddie’s eyes had gone glassy, and he stared at something over Buck’s shoulder. “So, you and Tommy…”

Buck shook his head furiously. “No, Eddie.” He waited until Eddie was looking at him. “It’s— they’re yours.”

“But,” Eddie said, his forehead creasing. He licked his lips. “You weren’t in heat and I wasn’t in rut.”

“Yeah,” Buck agreed, because it was true. Eddie was close to putting together what Buck had figured out after his first ultrasound. It felt too big to say out loud, and he hadn’t discussed it with anyone.

“You said that you were on birth control and that we didn’t need—” Eddie cut himself off, raking his hands through his hair.

“I was on birth control. This wasn’t supposed to happen,” Buck whispered.

“If you weren’t in heat and I wasn’t in rut and you were on birth control, then that means…” Eddie said slowly, and realization was beginning to dawn on his face.

“Yeah,” Buck said meekly, ducking his head and slumping his shoulders. “We’re fated, I guess.”

“Who else knows?” Eddie asked him, his voice hoarse.

“Bobby and Athena. Bobby was there when I found out. Maddie, May, and umm, Pepa,” Buck said the last part quietly. “Pepa said my scent changed when she came over to make soup.”

Eddie’s eyes flew to the scent patches still adorning his wrists and neck. “That’s why you’ve been wearing those outside of work. You didn’t want me to find out.”

Buck reached his hand up to peel the scent patch off his neck, wincing as the lingering tackiness pulled at his skin. He did the same with the ones on each of his wrists, leaving them to sit discarded by his side on the coffee table.

He met Eddie’s eyes. “Eddie—”

Eddie’s jaw ticked. “How long have you known?”

Buck slumped even further. “About a month and a half. I’m fourteen weeks. I’ll be fifteen weeks in two days.”

Eddie stood up suddenly. “Were you going to tell me? If I hadn’t come to visit and forced it out of you, were you ever going to tell me?”

“Eventually,” Buck said, his voice small.

Eddie paced, finally coming to a standstill after a moment. He braced his hands on the back of the couch. “Why didn’t you tell me?”

Buck bit his lip. “You had enough to worry about. I didn’t want to get in between you and Chris.”

Eddie huffed. “So you thought this was better?” His eyes were piercing. “Keeping me in the dark?”

“You said,” Buck started, his voice trembling. He cleared his throat, working to keep his voice even. “You said that if you had to choose between me or Chris, I would lose every time. So I took the choice off the table, that way you wouldn’t have to choose.”

Eddie’s face went perfectly blank. “So this is a punishment. For leaving.”

Buck spluttered. “It wasn’t a punishment,” Buck said, offended at the notion. As if he would use their kids as some sort of pawn in a mental game. “I didn’t want you to worry about it. I know you don’t want—” he halted himself before he could say, I know you don’t want me. “You don’t have to be involved if you don’t want to be. I’m handling this.”

“Do you not want me to be involved?” Eddie’s voice was laced with hurt now.

“It’s not about what I want,” Buck answered immediately, because it wasn’t. The ball was in Eddie’s court. “It’s about what you want.”

Eddie scrunched his mouth in that pained way he did when he was trying his best to mask how upset he was. “When did you stop trusting me?”

Buck felt Eddie’s words like a physical blow. “Trusting you was never the problem.”

“What does that mean?” Eddie prompted. Though, he continued before Buck was given a chance to reply. “Did you think I wouldn’t be able to handle this? That I would be so fragile, or, I don’t even know what, that I’d leave you high and dry? Do you really believe I’d do that?”

“You were making a new life in Texas,” Buck said slowly, carefully. “I didn’t want to ruin that because I fucked up.”

“How did you fuck up?” Eddie wondered incredulously.

Buck shut his mouth firmly. He didn’t know what to say.

I think I got pregnant because my body wanted to keep a piece of you with me. Because I’m in love with you. I’m yours, and I’ll always be yours, his mind supplied.

He wasn’t sure how to express that sentiment without sounding crazy.

“You didn’t even give me a chance,” Eddie said, his voice raw, and it made Buck feel sick to his stomach. He’d spent so much time and effort trying to protect Eddie that he screwed everything up, again.

“I know you, Eddie,” Buck said. He was tired—so tired—the kind of tired that blanketed his entire body, heavy and all-consuming. “You’d either choose Chris and beat yourself up about it, or you’d come back, and it would be purely out of obligation. I didn’t want either of those to happen. I didn’t want you to resent me or the babies.”

“Right, so not telling me at all was clearly the best play because I’m such an awful parent that my only options were to abandon one of my kids instead of us figuring this out together,” Eddie snapped. Buck then watched in real time as he seemed to take in the end of what Buck said. “Wait, you said ‘babies’ as in…”

“Twins,” Buck confessed, exhausted. He curled a hand around his belly. “Identical twins.”

“Jesus,” Eddie breathed. “God, you’re so. I can’t—” He visibly reeled himself in, his voice low. “I need… I need time to think about this.”

Ice filled Buck’s veins, his stomach swooping. This was the rug pull he’d been waiting on, the ground crumbling under his feet, the other shoe dropping and stomping all over his heart.

Eddie didn’t want this with him, and he was losing him, this time for good.

“Yeah,” Buck croaked out uselessly.

There was no use in fighting it.

He had enacted this entire charade in his best attempt to not hurt Eddie, but the ending was still the same. He’d hurt him anyway.

Buck flinched at the sound of the front door closing; the symphony of Eddie leaving.

He just—

He wished so desperately he could be the person worthy of staying for. He ached not to be the kind of person who was perpetually left behind.

Buck stood up, his legs wobbly and mouth dry. His eyes burned, yearning to cry, yet no tears fell.

He should go pack a bag. He could stay with Maddie and Chim for a few days.

All he knew was that he couldn’t stay here.

His mind was fuzzy, playing the click of the front door closing on a sickening loop.

Eddie walked out every time.

When Buck reached the bedroom, his knees were weak, and a sharp pain radiated from his chest. His head throbbed and his hands shook. It took him a minute to put together that his entire body was shaking, his teeth chattering with it.

He was freezing.

He sank to the floor next to the bed ungracefully, his limbs caving in as he wrapped his arms around his torso.

He stared at the wall unblinking.

He had convinced everyone that he could do this without Eddie, and that he could tackle this on his own.

Deep down, he knew he was bluffing.

With Eddie gone, he didn’t know what to do.

────────────────────────────────────

“it would be so tragic if we abandoned this part.”

— “kitchen” / kid cudi

────────────────────────────────────

Buck wasn’t merely underwater, he was drowning.

It was like his limbs were detached from his body, and he couldn’t take a deep breath.

His hearing was muffled and garbled.

Pain blossomed up his sternum, retreating the water momentarily before another wave dunked him under.

A familiar scent came to him, faintly. He moved towards it; a wilting flower seeking out the sun. Sharp leather, spicy cinnamon, paired with the hominess of fresh coffee grounds.

Eddie.

He could smell Eddie.

“Baby, come back to me. Buck, baby, please,” Eddie’s voice was far away and panicked.

That wasn’t right. Eddie didn’t panic. Even when he was having a panic attack, he didn’t beg or plead. He white-knuckled it, silent until it was over.

Hands.

There were hands on him, rubbing all over him. There was a nose along his neck.

He followed the scent, hearing that voice again, this time a little clearer.

“C’mon, baby. Don’t do this to me, please. Buck! I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. Please—”

Eddie.

Buck’s vision filtered in, hazy and unfocused.

His face and neck were wet. Was he crying? Or maybe—

“You can do it, baby, c’mon.”

He could see Eddie now, on top of him. He looked scared, more scared than Buck had ever seen him before, with wide, stricken eyes.

Buck heard a pitiful whine, and it took a few seconds for him to connect that it was coming from him.

Eddie’s scent was stronger now, more tangible. Buck lurched forward, uncoordinated and unsteady, still not in control of his limbs.

“Eds,” He whimpered brokenly, smashing his face into Eddie’s neck.

Eddie’s strong arms wrapped around him, entangling him in a bone-crushing embrace.

Buck sucked in greedy gulps of air, nearly hyperventilating with each huff of Eddie’s scent from his neck.

“That’s it, you’re doing so good, baby,” Eddie said, his voice and praise a soothing balm. Buck shuddered violently as he breathed Eddie in. “I’m here, it’s okay,” Eddie soothed.

Eddie’s hands were everywhere, running up and down his back, and holding him tight. One of his hands moved to cup the back of Buck’s neck, pressing him even further into his neck as Buck shook like a leaf.

“God, baby, you’re freezing,” Eddie murmured fretfully. He started pulling up Buck’s shirt. “You need body heat and skin.”

As soon as Buck’s shirt was off, his teeth clacked painfully, his shivering increasing tenfold. With careful maneuvering, Eddie got off his own shirt, which was a feat in and of itself, considering he didn’t break contact with Buck the entire time.

The minute they both were shirtless, Buck relished the feel of Eddie’s warm skin against his own. Eddie guided him back so that he could get them under the comforter. Once they were both covered, Eddie swallowed his frame completely, slinging his arms and legs around Buck’s body.

Eddie nosed at his neck, scenting him thoroughly.

“What happened?” Buck slurred, his mind still fuzzy.

Eddie breathed in shakily, his voice cracking as he said, “You dropped, sweetheart.”

“Oh,” Buck said, and his chest seized wickedly as he remembered what happened. He choked on a sob. “You left, again.”

“I’m sorry. I’m so sorry,” Eddie started chanting immediately, pressing kisses to every inch of Buck’s skin that he could reach without dislodging them from their position. He kissed Buck’s shoulder, his neck, the back of his head, and his ear. “I’m here. I’m right here, I promise.”

Pure panic rushed through Buck’s veins. “Eds, the babies, I can’t—” Buck’s breath hitched as tears suddenly rolled down his cheeks.

Eddie froze, breathing in sharply. “Is it okay if I check to see if you’re bleeding?”

Buck nodded jerkily, whimpering.

Eddie’s hands were achingly gentle as he inched down Buck’s sweatpants, his fingers brushing over Buck’s entrance.

Buck held his breath until Eddie exhaled, his arms squeezing impossibly tighter around Buck. “You’re okay. You’re not bleeding. They’re okay, cariño.”

Buck sobbed, this time in utter relief.

“Eddie,” Buck managed weakly. “I think I’m gonna be sick.”

Eddie flurried into motion, detangling them with haste. He had just enough time to grab the small trash can in the corner of his room before Buck grabbed it from him, retching into it.

Eddie took the trash can away the minute Buck’s dry heaves subsided. He bundled Buck back in his arms. Buck burrowed into him as close as he could get, only satisfied when Eddie continued to scent him.

“You need water and some sugar,” Eddie said after they breathed together in silence for an unknown amount of time. “Will you be okay if I go get those?”

Buck squeezed Eddie’s hip subconsciously, latching on.

“I know,” He whispered. “I’ll be quick. And I’ll be right back. I’m not going anywhere.”

Buck bit his lip to suppress the whine that was trapped in the back of his throat at the idea of Eddie separating from him.

“I’ll keep the door open so you can hear me, okay? We have to get some stuff in your system. I can’t have you passing out on me,” Eddie insisted reasonably.

Buck knew he was being reasonable, which was the worst part.

“Two minutes,” Buck grumbled reluctantly, only relinquishing his grip because the lingering taste in his mouth was growing unbearable.

“Two minutes,” Eddie confirmed, kissing his shoulder. He slid his wrist over Buck’s neck and down his chest, scenting him for good measure to comfort him in his hopefully brief absence.

Buck was cold everywhere Eddie had touched the second he pulled back. The singular thing grounding him was the hand he rested over his belly.

He closed his eyes, listening to the sounds of Eddie puttering around in the kitchen. He heard Eddie’s bated curse as he dropped something and fumbled.

Buck was still so in love with him that he almost couldn’t stand it.

Eddie returned, juggling two bottles of water, two Gatorades, and a bag of candied trail mix that Buck had forgotten was in the kitchen.

Eddie dumped his haul on the bed, climbing onto it and caging Buck in before he even had time to make grabby hands at him. He locked his legs on either side of Buck’s hips, and hooked his head over Buck’s shoulder, his chest a hot line against Buck’s back.

He passed Buck the Gatorade, uncapping it for him. “Small sips,” He urged softly.

Buck followed his order, taking ginger sips of the Gatorade to wash the acrid taste out of his mouth. Eddie rumbled a satisfied hum in his ear after he was able to drink half the bottle. He opened the bag of trail mix, scooping out a tiny handful that was mainly M&Ms.

Buck wrinkled his nose. “I don’t know if I can,” he rasped, his throat raw.

“Just a little bit,” Eddie said. “You gotta get something in you that’s not just Gatorade.”

He held the portion up to Buck’s mouth, feeding him. Buck reluctantly opened his mouth, succumbing to Eddie’s will.

“Good,” Eddie muttered lowly, sending tiny tingles all over Buck’s body. Buck opened his mouth again, accepting more, and he was rewarded with Eddie saying, “You’re doing so well. Thank you.”

Buck let Eddie feed him a few more bites before he turned his head.

“Okay,” Eddie said easily, sealing up the trail mix and setting it aside.

Buck lulled his head back onto Eddie’s shoulder, exhausted and wrung out. He wasn’t shaking anymore, which was probably a good sign.

Eddie’s hands twitched at Buck’s side. “You… you have a bump,” Eddie said unsteadily, his voice hitching on ‘bump.’

Buck didn’t have to look down to see what Eddie had obviously noticed, considering they were both shirtless. He had a small bump at the base of his belly, only getting bigger with each day.

“Can I…?” Eddie asked tentatively.

Buck nodded. “Yeah, Eds,” He confirmed quietly. “I mean, they’re yours.”

“They’re yours, too,” Eddie shot back fiercely.

“I’d hope so,” Buck quipped. “Considering they’re subletting my body for nine months.” He tilted his head to whisper to Eddie conspiratorially. “And they’re kind of terrible renters, but I guess I’ll let them stay.”

Eddie snorted. He lifted his hands, ever so slowly, to slide over Buck’s bump, cradling it tenderly. Both of Eddie’s hands took up nearly the entirety of Buck’s small bump, and it melted a section of Buck’s brain. He loved how big Eddie’s hands were, and how no matter how much he bulked up, they still would cover the majority of Buck’s waist.

As soon as Eddie’s hands rested on his bump, the dull ringing in his ears he hadn’t realized was ever-present, ground to a halt, leaving him in contented silence.

A purr escaped from Buck’s lips without his intention. His cheeks reddened, and he bit his lip to silence it. It took him aback. He could count on one hand the number of times that he’d purred since presenting as an Omega.

“No, hey,” Eddie murmured. “Don’t hide from me.”

Buck released his lip from between his teeth, his purring quieted, though, from his embarrassment.

Eddie rubbed over his belly, his thumb working in hypnotic circles.

A thought occurred to Buck suddenly, and he whipped his head to peer at Eddie, alarmed. “Wait, Eds. Where’s Chris?”

“Relax, he’s at a sleepover with Denny. He wanted to catch up with him,” Eddie informed him.

The rapid tension that had formed in Buck’s shoulders bled away. “Oh, okay. That’s good.”

“Yeah, he wouldn’t stop talking about how on… concord? Wasn’t the same,” Eddie said, and it startled a laugh out of Buck.

“Discord,” He corrected.

“Right, sure,” Eddie said absentmindedly.

Buck sighed. “I miss him sending memes into our channel.”

“I have no idea what that means,” Eddie said, though he was smiling.

“I could explain, but I know you wouldn’t retain it,” Buck said, matching his smile.

Eddie nosed along his neck, scenting him again. “How are you feeling?” He prompted gently.

“Tired,” Buck said honestly, his eyes drooping.

“You should get some sleep, baby,” Eddie suggested resolutely, and went to scoot back from their entangled position.

“No, don’t—” Buck said frantically, a spike of adrenaline and fear rushing through his veins as he scrambled to grab Eddie’s arms. “Don’t go.”

“Oh, no, hey, no,” Eddie crooned, “I’m not going anywhere. We just can’t sleep like this. Let’s move, okay?”

Buck nodded, not releasing his grip on Eddie’s arm. Eddie adjusted them carefully so that Buck laid on his side. He sidled up behind him, wrapping around him with a leg strewn over Buck’s hip.

Eddie hesitated at returning his hand to Buck’s bump. Buck wasn’t having any of that, so he reached for Eddie’s hand, putting it firmly on the center of his bump.

“Go to sleep. I’ll be here when you wake up. I promise.”

“Okay,” Buck sighed, closing his eyes.

He knew the moment of peace would be fleeting, but he sank into it anyway.

—

Buck woke up an indeterminable amount of hours later, warm and fuzzy.

Eddie was curled around him, his hand tracing a pattern he couldn’t parse over his stomach, clearly awake.

For the first time in weeks, he hadn’t woken up feeling nauseous.

Buck leaned into his further. “How long was I out?” He asked groggily.

Eddie hummed. “A few hours. It’s now…” Buck felt him shift, probably to look at the alarm clock on his side of the bed. “Two AM.”

“That’s gonna fuck up my sleep schedule,” Buck grumbled.

Eddie snorted. “You don’t have a sleep schedule.”

“Yeah, whatever,” Buck groused. He rolled over to face Eddie. Beautiful, kind, amazing Eddie, who kept walking in and out of his life, seemingly unaware that he took Buck’s heart with him wherever he went.

He could practically see the cogs turning in his brain, recognizing the look on his face.

He allowed them to sit in silence, waiting patiently for Eddie to speak his mind. He watched as the crease between his eyebrows deepened.

After he figured he was patient long enough, he brought his thumb up to the crease, smoothing it out.

“What’s going on up there?” He inquired softly, tapping his forehead with his thumb.

“You shouldn’t have to be doing this with me,” Eddie blurted out.

“What?” Buck breathed, startled and confused. “What are you talking about?”

Eddie’s eyes were wide now, and wet. “I’m going to screw it up. I’ve already screwed up. I mean, I just got Chris to want to be in the same room as me, and I’ve failed that kid a million times. I never know what I’m doing. You deserve to be doing this with someone better, with someone you—” He cut himself off, glancing away so he wasn’t meeting Buck’s gaze. “I think you were right not telling me. Hell,” He continued, wry and self-deprecating. “I wouldn’t tell me either.”

“Eddie,” Buck said. It was as if someone had stomped over his heart, crushing it to smithereens behind his ribcage. He used both of his hands to cup Eddie’s face. “Hey, look at me.” He forced him to meet his eyes. “You are the best dad I’ve ever met, and I’m not just saying that. Every parent fucks up, but God, Eddie, you care. Most of the battle is caring. Me not telling you had nothing to do with whether or not you’d be a good dad. I already knew that. The problem was me. I never wanted to put you in a situation where you felt like…” He trailed off, not knowing how to word what he wanted to say.

He swallowed. “I knew you’d be a good dad, I guess I just didn’t want you to feel like you were forced to do this with me.” His voice cracked. “I wouldn’t want to do this with anyone else.”

“But you haven’t been doing this with me,” Eddie said, and his face twisted up into something anguished. “God, I left you alone.”

“It’s okay,” Buck rushed out.

“It’s not okay,” Eddie insisted miserably. “I left you pregnant and alone, and yeah,” Eddie barreled on before Buck could interject. “I didn’t know, but then you did tell me, and what was the first thing I did? I fucking ran. It’s what I always do. I run.”

Any residual anger that Buck was clinging onto drained out of him. He knew Eddie, better than he knew himself sometimes. Eddie wasn’t running away from Buck; he was running because he was scared, and Buck could understand that. Eddie had every right to be scared. Buck had been scared. He’d just been afforded the luxury of time. He’d had weeks to come to terms with their situation. He shouldn’t have expected Eddie to be perfectly prepared within the span of an afternoon.

Buck brushed over Eddie’s cheek. If they were really in this together, then Buck was all in. He wasn’t going to let Eddie suffer alone.

“Where’d you go?” He whispered. “When you ‘ran’,” he said, using heavy air quotes, “where did you go?”

Eddie huffed out a frustrated breath. Buck knew it wasn’t directed at him. It was directed at himself. “That’s the dumbest part, I didn’t even go anywhere.”

“What?” Buck prompted, continuing to stroke over Eddie’s cheeks, his thumb lingering on the tiny mole underneath Eddie’s eye. Christopher had the same one under his eyebrow.

“I went and sat in my truck in the driveway,” Eddie told him. “I thought about driving somewhere, I don’t even know where. Then I came back inside because I felt like something was wrong. That’s when I found you.” He closed his eyes, his voice coming out wet and emotional. “You scared the shit out of me, Buck.”

“I didn’t mean to,” Buck said, his voice small.

“No, it was my fault. We almost— we could’ve—” He wriggled his arm down to press over Buck’s bump. “And it would’ve been all my fault.”

“That didn’t happen,” Buck assured him gently. “I’m okay. They’re okay. And it sounds like you didn’t even run, Eds, you just… needed a minute.”

“I shouldn’t need a minute,” Eddie argued. “You haven’t gotten one.”

Buck scoffed. “I had a few weeks. And, Eddie, baby, I freaked the fuck out when I first found out.” He paused. “Yeah, you’re gonna love that story. But if you need a minute, you can take a minute. We’re going to figure this out, and we’ll figure it out once you go back to Texas, too,” Buck said, sounding braver than he felt.

Eddie’s eyes snapped open. “Wait, when I what?”

“When you and Chris go back at the end of the week, we’ll figure something out,” Buck reiterated.

“Buck,” Eddie said slowly, “What exactly do you think is happening at the end of this week?”

Buck blinked at him, confused by Eddie’s confusion. “Chris is only off school for the week. You guys are leaving again at the end of the week. I don’t really know how long-distance parenting works. I can send you ultrasounds and updates if you still want them.”

“Buck,” Eddie said one more time, taking on an incredulous tone. “We’re coming back. We’re leaving to come back, that’s what I was… that’s what I was trying to tell you.”

Buck froze. “You’re coming back?” He squeaked. “But you— I thought— you never said—”

“I thought it was implied,” Eddie said, and if Buck weren’t so in love with him, he’d be infuriated with him.

“All you said was that you had to deal with some stuff from the house, that’s cryptic as hell, Eddie,” Buck grumbled.

“I’m selling it. That’s what I meant. The plan was always that me and Chris were coming home, even before I found out you were pregnant,” Eddie supplied, like the whole thing was simple and decided upon.

“Oh my God,” Buck exclaimed. “You guys are coming home!” He threw his arms around Eddie’s neck and pressed their bodies together, burrowing into Eddie’s steady frame. Eddie’s hands went to his back instantly, holding onto him just as tightly.

“I’m gonna be here for every minute of this, if you’ll let me,” Eddie mumbled, his lips against Buck’s temple.

“Let you!” Buck repeated, aghast. “I’ve wanted you here since the moment I found out. Honestly, even before then.”

Eddie exhaled, his voice thick. “I missed you every day.”

Buck reached behind himself to grab one of Eddie’s hands, bringing it to his bump. “We missed you, too, every day.”

Eddie laughed, and it twinkled right into Buck’s soul. Butterflies erupted in his stomach at the sound.

“Oh, you’re gonna be real cute with that shit now, huh? Gonna be speaking for them?” Eddie teased, making Buck grin.

He leaned his head back to catch Eddie’s eye. “Maybe,” He drawled, and Eddie huffed out another laugh, his breath ghosting the side of Buck’s face.

—

A little later, while Buck was content in Eddie’s arms, he hedged unthinkingly, his mind whirring a mile a minute, coming up with future plans, “I guess I’m going to have to start looking for apartments.”

Eddie’s hands halted abruptly where they’d been rubbing his back. “Why would you do that?”

Buck furrowed his brows. “Well, if you and Chris are coming home, you’ll want the house back,” He said, puzzled as to why Eddie wasn’t following his train of thought. “And I gave up the loft.”

Eddie rolled them over before Buck even realized what was happening. Eddie loomed over top of him, caging him in with his legs on either side of Buck’s hips.

“Okay, let me be crystal clear about this since you don’t seem to get it,” Eddie said, his voice firm and eyes set. Buck couldn’t help it, he squirmed at Eddie’s tone, blinking up at Eddie from under his lashes. “Me and Chris are coming home, and you’re not going anywhere. You’re gonna stay right here in this bed, with me. If you think I’m letting my pregnant Omega out of my sight, you have another thing coming.”

Buck’s heart thudded in his throat, threatening to burst out of his body. He couldn’t believe this was real. Eddie was on top of him, telling him in no uncertain terms that he was here to stay, and that he wanted Buck to live with him. It was something out of his wildest dreams.

My Omega, his brain repeated on a loop. My Omega, my Omega, My Omega.

“Really?” Buck intoned, unable to hide the hope creeping into his voice.

“You’re not going anywhere,” Eddie said darkly, a smirk twitching across his lips as Buck tilted his head and bared his neck subconsciously.

“Okay, Eds,” Buck said breathily. “I’ll stay.”

Eddie leaned down and kissed his forehead. Buck closed his eyes, savoring the feeling of it.

“Good,” Eddie said, his voice still low and commanding. His eyes raked over Buck assessingly. “Now, let’s get some food in you. I don’t know about you, but I’m starving.”

—

They moved from the bedroom to the couch, gorging themselves on takeout from the Thai place a few streets over that thankfully offered twenty-four-hour delivery. Buck slurped down drunken noodles while Eddie ate his own, stealing bites of his coconut soup whenever the Alpha wasn’t looking. Though, if his smile was anything to go by, Buck had a feeling he wasn’t being sneaky at all.

He munched happily, eagerly informing Eddie of all the milestones their amazing twins had already achieved.

“They’re the size of navel oranges right now,” Buck said excitedly, and Eddie fumbled for his phone, wanting to download the app Buck was using to track their babies’ fruit sizes.

They’d both slipped on shirts, Eddie a t-shirt, and Buck a hoodie, which Eddie had thoroughly scented and tossed to him when he noticed him shiver. Buck inched up the bottom of his hoodie to expose his bump, rubbing it absentmindedly as he filled Eddie in.

“Oh, Eds, they have fingernails! And this week they can start opening and closing their little fists, and they can start making faces!” Buck chirped delightedly. He paused, trying to place Eddie’s expression. He was smiling at him, fond and warm, and it heated up Buck’s cheeks. “What?”

“I’m in love with you,” Eddie said suddenly.

Buck’s next breath hitched in his chest. His entire world tilted, shifting and locking into place.

“What?” He asked dumbly, because surely he had heard wrong. Surely he wasn’t getting everything he’d ever wanted in the span of a few hours.

“I’m in love with you,” Eddie said again, this time a little more nervous. “Fuck, I didn’t mean to do it like this, I just couldn’t go another second without saying it. Buck, I love you. I want this forever. I want you in my kitchen, in my bed, in my house, telling me all your fun facts and statistics, with a baby on your hip like the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen. I want you and Chris ganging up on me. I want— I want you. Because I’m in love with you.”

“Eddie,” Buck choked out, stunned. The roaring in his ears at Eddie’s confession cleared enough for him to realize he was leaving Eddie hanging.

He scrambled up, all about flinging himself into Eddie’s lap. He straddled Eddie’s waist, preening at Eddie’s hands coming to his hips to steady him.

“You’re fucking crazy if you think I’m not in love with you, too,” Buck told him, nearly tripping over himself to get the words out. “I’m so in love with you. I’m so in love with you that I’m having your babies.”

“Yeah?” Eddie said, flashing a grin wide enough that Buck could see all his teeth, including the pointed fang ones he wanted nestled into the side of his neck.

“Yeah,” Buck confirmed, matching Eddie’s grin with one that was just as wide.

“Can I kiss you now?” Eddie asked, as if he ever needed permission where Buck was concerned.

“You never have to ask, ever again,” Buck told him earnestly, his eyes fluttering shut as Eddie reeled him into a biting kiss.

Buck moaned enthusiastically into Eddie’s mouth, kissing him fiercely. Eddie’s hands clenched at his hips rhythmically, kissing Buck like his life depended on it. He licked behind Buck’s teeth, claiming him, and Buck wanted this to last forever. He’d never get tired of Eddie’s hands and mouth all over him.

“God,” Eddie groaned when they broke away for air, his eyes practically black. Buck latched his lips onto his neck, mouthing at the skin as he sucked in air by his scent gland. His scent was intoxicating. “Do you have any idea how gorgeous you are like this?”

“Hmm?” Buck hummed, distracted by all the bare skin of Eddie’s neck at his disposal.

“You drive me insane,” Eddie said, reverent. “I come home and you’re waiting for me with two of my babies in your belly.”

“Yours,” Buck mouthed by Eddie’s jaw.

Eddie growled, a deep rumbling from his chest that made Buck go boneless as slick gathered at his entrance, soaking his boxers. “I swear, baby, if Chris and Pepa weren’t with me, I would’ve knotted you as soon as I came through the door.”

“Fuck,” Buck whined, peeling his mouth away from Eddie’s neck, his lips shiny with spit. “You think I wasn’t going insane? Had to sit on this couch every day and think about how you fucked two babies into me right here.”

He ground his hips, whimpering as it put pressure on his rapidly hardening cock. His boxers were quickly turning into a damp mess with a mixture of slick and pre-cum.

“Yeah? You think that’s when it happened? When I knotted you on this couch?” Eddie goaded, slipping his hands down to grab at Buck’s ass.

Buck nodded. “I’m pretty sure it happened then,” He bit his lip, sinking into Eddie’s touch. “‘Cause that’s when I could feel that you loved me.”

“I do,” Eddie said, easing him into another searing kiss. “I love you,” He murmured into Buck’s mouth.

“I love you,” Buck said back, easy as breathing. It was like all the shattered parts of himself rose up to reassemble into something whole, his heart in one piece and beating solely for Eddie. “I’ve been in love with you. I’ve been yours ever since I walked into the station seven years ago and you were there.”

“Even when you were being a brat?” Eddie teased, licking over Buck’s scent gland.

“I was only mad because you were so stupid hot I was positive you were going to be a knothead,” Buck huffed, feeling the need to defend his honor at least partially. “Then you had to be kind,” Buck kissed blindly at Eddie’s temple, “And funny,” he kissed the mole under his eye, “And smart,” he kissed his jaw, “And brave,” he kissed the corner of his mouth. “With the cutest kid I’ve ever seen in my life,” he pecked his lips shortly. “Of course I fell in love with you.”

Eddie stared up at him, his eyes wet and awed. “The first time I saw you in Abuela’s kitchen, it was like you belonged there. You had Chris on your hip, and you both were laughing, and I think you rewired my brain,” He said, honest and raw. “But I always thought… you were so— I didn't think I could have you — that I deserved this.”

Buck pressed their foreheads together, blinking away the tears in his own eyes. “You’ve always had me,” He whispered. “Even when we both didn’t know it yet.”

Eddie reached his hand to grasp at the back of Buck’s neck tenderly. He guided Buck’s head down to kiss his birthmark.

“What am I going to do with you?” He muttered, achingly fond.

Buck’s breath stuttered in his lungs. “Keep me?”

“I meant what I said earlier, baby,” Eddie said, his voice taking on that low, dark timber that wracked a shudder through Buck’s spine. “I’m not letting you out of my sight.”

“I like it when you call me that,” Buck said, shifting his hips in Eddie’s lap.

“What, baby?” Eddie inquired, smirking in the way that Buck knew he’d caught on without Buck having to say it.

“Baby, sweetheart, cariño, all of them,” Buck told him. “I like being your baby. I like being your Omega.”

Eddie shoved Buck’s hoodie out of the way to latch his teeth into Buck’s neck with a speed that nearly startled him. “Mine,” Eddie growled.

“Yours,” Buck whimpered, tilting his head to the side to give Eddie further access. “Fuck, Eddie ‘m yours.”

“I’m never letting you leave this house,” Eddie said into the skin of Buck’s shoulder as he mouthed over the bite. “I’m gonna keep you on my knot twenty-four seven.”

“Yes,” Buck hissed, very on board with this agenda. “Yeah, Eds, knot me, please?”

“Two babies in your belly and you’re still begging for my knot, you’re a fucking vision,” Eddie said, making Buck keen and jerk his hips.

Despite Buck being a whimpering, desperate mess, he wasn’t one to be outdone.

He swiveled his hips in a dirty grind on Eddie’s lap, leaning close to Eddie’s ear. “If it wasn’t the couch, do you think it was the floor?” He asked, purposely making his voice as innocent as possible. “I wonder if you pupped me the first time you got your knot in me.”

“Oh, fuck,” Eddie groaned, his eyes squeezing shut.

“Fucked me so good, Eds,” Buck whispered, his throat clicking around the word ‘good.’ “Had no choice but to get pregnant. You bred me so well, Alpha.”

“Jesus fucking—” Eddie cursed, flipping them so Buck was flat on his back on the couch in a matter of seconds. He pinned Buck’s wrists over his head and hovered above him.

Buck squirmed, dripping with slick now.

“Get this off,” Eddie grumbled roughly, shoving at Buck’s hoodie. Buck scrambled to comply. He wiggled out of his hoodie eventually when Eddie helped him, after he shot him his most pitiful puppy dog eyes.

Eddie shoved down Buck’s sweatpants, peeling them off his miles of leg until Buck was down to just his boxers, slung low under his bump.

“You too,” Buck bit out, inching his hands under Eddie’s offending t-shirt. Eddie grabbed at the back of his collar, shirking it off with a quickness that was honestly impressive.

“Eddie,” Buck whined, bucking his hips.

“I know, baby,” Eddie said, just on the side of mean as Buck leaked in his boxers. “You just want it so bad, don’t you?”

Buck nodded, scaling his hands up Eddie’s toned back, reveling at the strong muscles along Eddie’s shoulder blades. “Want your knot,” He pouted.

“Be good,” Eddie chastised. “I know you can be.”

Buck whined even louder, his throat clicking around a swallow, but he kept his hips still.

Eddie rewarded him by slipping off his boxers, allowing his leaking cock to spring free. Slick rapidly coated his thighs as he peered at Eddie from under his lashes.

Eddie spread his legs, with his hands sure on Buck’s outer thighs. He groaned at the sight of Buck’s leaking entrance.

“Fuck you’re wet, baby,” He crooned, dancing teasing light touches over the slick on Buck’s thighs. The grin he sent Buck’s way was positively feral, and so hot it had Buck’s hole clenching around nothing, arousal burning like lava in his belly. “I knew you would be,” Eddie drawled, his finger dipping near Buck’s entrance but not quite over where Buck needed him most. “You’ve been wet ever since I pinned you down that first time.”

“Not my fault when you pinned me down and said you wanted me to move in with you,” Buck snarked. “I would’ve sat on your knot then and there.”

“You just needed someone to put you in your place,” Eddie’s grin gleamed. He was beautiful, and all Buck’s. “I could tell from my first day. I bet you would’ve let me knot you then, too. You would’ve been such a good boy for me.”

“What do you think all that posturing was?” Buck quipped, spreading his legs wider. “And I didn’t want just anyone putting me in my place, I wanted you. I wanna be good for you.”

“You are good for me,” Eddie said, scooting back and placing his face between Buck’s legs. “Angelito,” His hot breath fanned over Buck’s inner thigh, making him shiver. “Mi vida,” Eddie breathed, kissing where Buck’s inner thigh was wet with slick. “My pretty Omega.”

Buck tangled his fingers into Eddie’s hair, watching him, rapturous.

“You’re making a mess, baby,” Eddie said, though if it was supposed to be chiding, he wasn’t doing a very good job considering his head was still in between Buck’s legs, scattering kisses on both thighs.

He pulled back, “Lift your hips up.”

Buck realized what he was doing after he’d lifted his hips automatically, and Eddie slid his hoodie underneath him, which was probably a good idea, because Buck wasn’t about to let him go anywhere for God or money.

Buck still pouted, “Hey, I like this hoodie,” He complained, and Eddie shot him a heated look, effectively shushing him.

“You should’ve thought about that before you started something,” Eddie said, his voice low. He resettled himself, mouth by Buck’s entrance. “Legs up, sweetheart,” Eddie instructed, guiding Buck’s legs onto his shoulders. “I’m gonna eat you out.”

“Oh, fuck, Eds, please–” Buck whimpered as Eddie nuzzled closer to his entrance, darting his tongue to lick up some of the slick wetting his thighs.

“Couldn’t stop thinking about this,” Eddie said, his lips against Buck’s leg. “Kept remembering how good you tasted, couldn’t get it out of my head.”

“Eddie—” Buck warbled, squirming.

“Tried jerking off, but there was no point, nothing was as good as you clenching hot and wet around my knot. Fuck, baby, and the sounds you made…” Eddie trailed off, and Buck was losing his mind, he was melting into a puddle of goo. “Had people lining up just to fuck you for years, but I’m the one who got you like this.” His hand came up to rest on Buck’s bump. “I’m the one who got two babies in you.”

“‘Course, Eds,” Buck said, brushing the hair back from his forehead. “‘Cause you’re my Alpha.”

Eddie’s hand slid to Buck’s hip, his grip bruising. “Say that again,” He growled, and his eyes flashed red for half a second.

“My Alpha,” Buck repeated, allowing for possession to drip into his tone. “Mine.”

Eddie must have gotten sick of his own teasing, because after Buck’s assertion, he dove in, lapping at Buck’s entrance hungrily.

Buck tossed his head back, stretching out his throat.

“Fuck, oh, fuck,” He gasped, locking his legs around Eddie’s head and tugging at his hair. He keened pathetically as Eddie’s tongue breached his hole, sucking at his rim.

Eddie speared his tongue, licking at Buck’s hole like a man starved, and Buck couldn’t control the pathetic moans he was letting out, clenching and leaking slick.

A buzz thrummed through his body as his cock spurted out pre-cum, leaving his entire bottom half wet and messy. He bucked his hips, causing Eddie’s hands to fall to his hips, holding him down.

Buck whined, gasping on hiccuping breaths as Eddie ate him out. He dug his heels into Eddie’s back, attempting to stop his desire to thrash at the assault of Eddie’s tongue, lapping at him in such a way that had him falling apart. Eddie’s grip on him never wavered, making him keen.

“Alpha,” He whimpered. “Please.”

Eddie hummed, peeling his mouth away enough to begin working in a finger, easing it up to his knuckle.

“More, more, please,” Buck insisted.

“You’re lucky I’m about to pop my knot, because one of these days I’m going to make you come on my tongue until you’re crying,” Eddie replied, his voice dark with promise.

“Yes,” Buck choked out, moaning loudly.

Eddie’s second finger had him practically drooling. Eddie’s fingers were searching, prodding, until they brushed over his prostate, and Buck jerked, zings lighting up his spine as Eddie nailed over the bundle of nerves with finesse.

A wave of slick gushed out of his hole, allowing Eddie to slip in a third finger with barely any resistance.

“I’m ready, Eds, c’mon,” Buck begged, pleading to Eddie with wet, shiny eyes.

Eddie kissed his thigh, slowly inching out his fingers. He brought his fingers to his mouth, savoring the taste of Buck’s slick, casually, like Buck’s brain wasn’t steadily leaking out of his ears.

As soon as Buck’s legs were off Eddie’s shoulders, Buck licked his lips, taking in his fill. Eddie’s chin glistened with his slick and his hair was sticking up in every direction.

He was so beautiful. The kind of beautiful that made you stop and stare on the street, proving the notion that God did indeed have favorites if he allowed for the creation of someone so pretty and perfect.

And Buck knew intrinsically that Eddie wasn’t perfect. He had scars and demons, but they never deterred Buck. If anything, they only made him love him more, fiercer, because Eddie was human.

Eddie was petty, occasionally short-tempered, held grudges, lacked self-esteem as much as Buck did, was terrible at math, could only successfully subtract if he sneakily used his fingers, and burned most of what he cooked if he didn’t have someone with him reminding him to keep a watchful eye.

But he was also kind, protective, brave, and secretly silly, all things that made up the whole complicated person that Buck adored. He wouldn’t trade any of his traits for anything.

He hoped Eddie loved him in the same fashion, flaws and all.

If the way Eddie was looking at him, eyes crinkling, and smile playing on his lips, was any indication, maybe he did.

“I love you,” Buck said, his heart hammering, because he could now. He didn’t have to pack the words away.

Eddie softened, petting over Buck’s sides. “I love you,” He responded immediately, quelling all of Buck’s lingering doubts. “Let me show you how much I love you. Let me make you feel good, okay, baby?”

Buck nodded. “Wanna make you feel good, too.”

Eddie's smile deepened. “You will,” He murmured, and Buck curled his fingers around the back of his neck, pulling him in for a kiss.

He could taste his slick on Eddie’s lips and tongue, and he chased it, moaning into Eddie’s mouth when his cock skimmed across his entrance.

Buck had to break away from the kiss when Eddie started to glide inside of him. His mouth dropped open at the feeling of Eddie filling him up, satisfying the ache of emptiness he’d gotten used to in the weeks he was gone. It was aloe on a sunburn, the first sip of sweet lemonade during a blistering heat wave, the cool touch of a freezing hand on a feverish forehead; it was relief.

“Eddie,” Buck whined when he was fully pressed inside.

Eddie moaned in kind, dropping his forehead onto Buck’s shoulder as Buck’s hands came up to card through his hair. “I never knew it could feel like this,” Eddie said, his voice strained and hushed. “That it could feel this good. I wish I could live inside you.”

Buck huffed out a laugh, delirious with pleasure. “You can. Honey, you can bend me over any time you want.”

Eddie’s hips jerked, burying his cock somehow deeper inside of Buck. He groaned. “You’re incredible.” He shifted back to gain momentum for his first proper thrust.

Buck’s legs locked around Eddie’s hips as he set a slow and languid pace, barely pulling out of him before he thrusted back in, as if Eddie couldn't bear to be outside of him for even a passing second. It made Buck feel cherished, and above all, wanted.

All he’d ever desired his whole life was to be wanted.

Buck choked around a sudden wave of emotions that flooded him, creating a ball of light in his chest, threatening to burst through. “I’m so glad it was you,” He said, a tad nonsensical as Eddie’s cock scrambled his brain.

Eddie made an inquisitive noise, glancing up from where he’d been resting against Buck’s shoulder.

“Wanted your babies for so long,” Buck said, finishing the thought the best he could.

“I’ll give them to you,” Eddie vowed. “As many as you want.”

Buck’s cock spurted against his belly, smearing pre-cum across his bump. It was obscene. He loved it. Buck grinned dopily at the image, being constantly knocked up, belly round with a hoard of kids with Eddie’s eyes made him incandescently happy to picture.

“Fuck, you’re gonna be such a good mom,” Eddie swore at the same time that his cock slammed against Buck’s prostate.

Buck’s eyes rolled back, and his nails clawed up Eddie’s back. He clenched hard around Eddie’s cock, coming all over his stomach with almost no warning. His orgasm slammed through him, leaving him shaking and panting.

His eyes blinked open to see Eddie staring at him, slack-jawed and awed.

“Did you just—?”

Buck’s cheeks flushed, even as he continued to clench around Eddie’s cock with aftershocks.

Eddie nosed along Buck’s scent gland, nipping at his neck with his teeth. He thrusted into Buck with a newfound fervor, picking up his pace. “Jesus Christ, that was so fucking hot,” He gritted out.

His burgeoning knot bumped at Buck’s entrance with each one of his thrusts, and Buck whimpered, high and whiny in the back of his throat. “Need it, Eds. Want your knot so bad.”

“Yeah,” Eddie panted, sweat beading at his forehead. His pace got even faster, his cock making a home inside of Buck.

“C’mon, fill me up, Eds. I love you,” Buck said sweetly. Eddie’s hips jerked messily, then halted, as his knot locked them together. He buried his face into the hollow of Buck’s throat, out of breath and shuddering as he came inside of him.

Buck played with Eddie’s hair after Eddie collapsed on top of him and grinned at the ceiling. The strands were buttery soft whenever the Alpha forgoed his usual gel, and Buck loved getting his hands on it. It didn’t tangle like Buck’s curls did whenever Eddie would play with his hair to get him to fall asleep.

Eddie dragged his face away from Buck’s neck after a few minutes to squint at him. “You look pretty pleased with yourself.”

“I am,” Buck sighed happily, his grin still plastered across his mouth. “You love me.”

Eddie made a small hurt sound, tenderly brushing Buck’s sweat-soaked curls off his forehead. “I do, sweetheart. I’ll tell you every day if I have to.”

“I’d like that,” Buck said, squirming encouragingly. “You should definitely do that.”

“Gonna do this every day, too,” Eddie whispered before kissing the smile right off of Buck’s face.

“As soon as your knot goes down,” Buck managed to say in between frantic kisses, “You’re taking me to bed.”

Eddie laughed. “Okay, baby.”

—

When they finally got to bed, Buck briefly pouted over missing out on Eddie knotting him again, even though he had work in a few hours and was dead on his feet. He was soothed by Eddie wrapping himself around him, lips on his neck, and hand over his bump. It was pretty easy to fall asleep like that.

He woke up to his alarm and groaned, wiping blearily to get the grit out of his eyes. The second he sat up, he was hit with a rolling tide of nausea.

Like fucking clockwork.

He hastily grabbed Eddie’s arm, flopping over to face him. He shoved his nose into Eddie’s scent gland, taking heavy breaths to quell his gag reflex.

“Hey, what’s wrong?” Eddie rumbled, clearly only half-awake, most likely jostled by Buck’s frenzied movements.

“Nauseous,” Buck bit out, trying to superimpose himself into Eddie’s skin.

“Oh shit,” Eddie said, waking up more. “What can I do? What do you need?”

“I think this is working,” Buck mumbled into Eddie’s neck, sucking in deep breaths of Eddie’s scent.

Eddie’s hand slid under his shirt, rubbing up and down his back.

“Anything else I can do?”

Buck mouthed at Eddie’s scent gland, absorbing his heady scent of cinnamon, leather, and coffee grounds, straight from the source. He made a pleased sound as that seemed to work even better at calming his nausea. Within a few minutes, he felt back to normal.

“Ugh, I have to go shower,” He whined.

“I can call Bobby. If you’re not feeling good, you shouldn’t go in,” Eddie offered.

Buck couldn’t help but snort. “Eds, if I called out every time I was nauseous these days, I wouldn’t ever be at work.”

Eddie frowned. “You’ve been feeling that bad?”

Buck shrugged. “Welcome to being pregnant with twins. I got symptoms two for the price of one. It’s fine.” He eyed the time on the clock and sighed. “I’m good to shower now, I think.”

He untangled himself from Eddie, reluctantly, who was still frowning at him. Buck figured he’d leave him to his own devices. He really didn’t want to be late for work.

He got rid of his clothes and hopped in the shower. It wasn’t long before the curtain was being pulled back, and Eddie joined him.

“What?” Buck laughed heartily. “Didn’t trust me to take a shower by myself?”

Eddie made a disgruntled noise, sidling up behind him. “You could fall,” He said unconvincingly, which only made Buck laugh harder.

“I’m serious, you better not be starting anything. I can’t be late for work,” Buck threatened, though, he wasn’t very convincing either.

“Who’s starting something?” Eddie said innocently, although his hands grabbing Buck’s hips begged to differ. Buck shot him a dry look over his shoulder. “As if Bobby wouldn’t let you get away with murder.”

“Not exactly aiming to test that theory,” Buck shot back, and Eddie rolled his eyes.

Eddie’s hands shifted to cradle his bump. “Stop being stubborn and let me take care of you,” He murmured, pressing a fleeting kiss at the nape of Buck’s neck. “I’m gonna drive you to work. I gotta talk to Bobby anyway and ask for my job back.”

Buck handed him the shampoo bottle. “And what’s your plan for that?”

Eddie squirted out a portion of shampoo and lathered Buck’s hair. “Lots of grovelling.”

“I’m sure only a little grovelling,” Buck replied, attempting to be supportive. “We all miss you.”

“While that may be true, I think you’re a little biased,” Eddie said, grinning. “Rinse.”

“What gave that away?” Buck taunted, before obediently dipping his head under the water.

“Mmm, I don’t know,” Eddie said, playing along, his fingers brushing over Buck’s bump.

Buck slid his hands up to cup Eddie’s jaw. “We’ll all be excited to have you back, honey.” Buck didn’t even notice the pet name that had slipped out until Eddie was bracketing him up against the shower wall, his eyes dark.

“Thought we weren’t starting anything,” He said, his voice deep and dirty. He clicked his tongue. “You can’t just go around calling me ‘honey’ and expect me not to do something about it.”

Buck bit his lip, his eyes fluttering shut. Eddie pried his lip out from between his teeth, rubbing his thumb over it.

“As much as I want to live on your knot, I really have to go to work,” Buck said, and it pained him. He wanted nothing more than for Eddie to knot him until he was sated and delirious, the stereotypical Omega, whiny and knot-drunk, hanging off his knot twenty-four seven. However, he was running out of time to get to work, and Bobby was already pulling a lot of strings to accommodate him as it was.

Eddie kissed his neck. “You’re just doing paperwork, right? They don’t have you going out on calls?”

“Light duty,” Buck affirmed, a tad wry.

“I know that’s driving you crazy.”

“Kind of,” Buck admitted. “But, the precious cargo is worth it.”

Eddie thunked his head onto Buck’s shoulder. “It kills me that I wasn’t there having your back.”

Buck took advantage of Eddie’s position to scrub some shampoo into his hair. “I mean, you were kind of there. In a way.”

Eddie squinted, doing his best not to get shampoo in his eyes. It was heart-wrenchingly endearing. “You sure we don’t have time for me to knot you?”

“Positive,” Buck snarked, guiding Eddie’s head under the water.

—

Buck wasn’t even a little ashamed that the minute Eddie parked his truck at the station, he climbed over the console to halfway sit in the Alpha’s lap. He took advantage of the tinted windows, and they started making out like teenagers, all wandering hands and slick slides of tongues.

“Thought you didn’t want to be late,” Eddie said, even though it was mostly unintelligible between the frantic kisses Buck kept pressing to his mouth.

“We have a few minutes,” Buck said diplomatically. “We would’ve had a few minutes more if you had driven at least one mile over the speed limit.”

“Sorry, I drive careful,” Eddie said sarcastically, though he softened it with a kiss. “I know you’re a speed demon in this thing. Christopher has told me stories.”

Buck jerked back, his eyes wide as the thought occurred to him. “Oh, shit, Eddie,” He said meaningfully. “How are we gonna tell Chris? When should we tell Chris? This is a big deal.”

Eddie sighed. “Yeah, I’ve been thinking about that. I think maybe we should wait until we’re back. Not that I don’t trust him, because I do, I just don’t want it to accidentally slip to my parents while we’re tying everything up. Taking him home is already going to cause a whole round of fighting, and I don’t need you or the babies caught in the middle of that. Chris is in the middle of it more than I’d like him to be.”

Buck nodded. That made sense. “Are we going to tell your parents…eventually?”

“Eventually is the key word,” Eddie said under his breath. His thumb brushed over Buck’s hip in soothing circles. “What about your parents?”

“They’ll find out, I’m sure. Either from someone else or Maddie.” He bit his lip. “Is it bad if I don’t want them in our kids’ lives?”

“If it was up to me, they wouldn’t see you at all,” Eddie said, his voice low. Buck let himself get lost in the ministrations of Eddie’s thumb. “I don’t think it could ever be bad that you want to protect them.”

“That’s all I want,” Buck said, raw and honest. “All I want is for them and Chris to be safe, and happy, and loved.”

Eddie shifted one of his hands to cradle the back of Buck’s neck. His grip was loose, nowhere near the territory of scruffing him. Buck leaned into his touch anyway, letting it ground him. Eddie was the only person in the world he’d let scruff him. He wondered what it would feel like, going boneless and pliant, preferably while on his knot.

“I know, baby,” Eddie said, his eyes soft and warm. Buck wanted to drown in them. He kissed the center of Buck’s forehead, then gave a kiss to Buck’s birthmark, following it up with an exaggerated mwah sound, like he’d do with Christopher before he became a surly teenager overnight and decided he was too cool for kisses from his dad.

Buck’s heart fluttered in his chest, and a smile spread across his cheeks.

Buck eyed the clock on Eddie’s dashboard. “Okay, I really have to go in now.”

“Go,” Eddie said, returning his smile. “I’ll wait a few minutes and then I’ll go in.”

Buck reached for the door, looking back when Eddie clicked his tongue.

“No goodbye kiss?” Eddie said, and Buck smirked, absolutely delighted.

“How could I forget?” Buck teased, hamming it up. “You fucking sap.”

He pecked Eddie’s lips three times in rapid succession, leaving the Alpha a little dazed in his wake. It was a heady feeling.

After stalling long enough, he finally climbed out of the car, getting his gear bag from the backseat.

He walked into the station with a smile on his lips and a spring in his step.

—

Buck was sitting in the locker room fussing with his gear bag when Chimney strolled in, looking a little shell-shocked.

Ever since Buck began showering, changing, and slapping on his scent patches before coming in for his shift, he’d gotten good at pretending to make himself busy while everyone else changed.

“Am I hallucinating, or did I just see Eddie walk into Cap’s office?” Chimney said dramatically, then seemed to brace himself for Buck’s reaction.

“Yeah, he’s back in town,” Buck said with as much faux-casualness as he could muster, as if him and Eddie hadn’t been necking in the parking lot not even a half hour previous.

“And umm, how are we feeling about that?” Chimney prodded awkwardly.

Buck shrugged. He was getting maybe too much enjoyment out of watching Chimney squirm. “It’s fine. He’s in Cap’s office asking for his job back.”

“Right,” Chimney said, clearly stunned. “So he’s coming back?”

“Yeah,” Buck replied, and this time he couldn’t help his smile. “Him and Chris are coming home.”

“Oh, thank God,” Chimney breathed, sounding entirely too relieved for someone who:

A. Wasn’t in love with Eddie

And B. Wasn’t pregnant.

Buck made an offended sound.

“Buckaroo, I love you, and as much as I have loved reminiscing the old days of the Three Musketeers, you without Eddie was getting kind of hard to watch,” Chimney said, not unkindly.

“Yeah, well, whatever,” Buck grumbled, because he didn’t have it in him to argue.

“I’m gonna have to call Maddie,” Chimney said hastily, and Buck waved him off. He was sure he’d have a call or a flurry of texts from her before his shift was done.

Buck shoved the rest of the contents of his gearbag into his locker and began making his way down the back hall to the laundry room to check who’d been assigned which chores for their shift. He was halfway down the hallway when his arm was unceremoniously grabbed and he was bodily yanked into one of the storage closets.

“What the fuck—” He yelped before his eyes changed to the dark atmosphere of the closet, and he realized Eddie had been the one to grab him. “Jesus, Eds, you about gave me a heart attack.”

“Sorry,” Eddie said, crowding him up against the wall, not sounding sorry in the slightest. “Just wanted to get you alone.”

Buck slung his arms around Eddie’s neck. “How did it go? With Bobby.”

Eddie laughed, his head coming to rest on Buck’s shoulder. “He never even took me out of the system. As far as the LAFD is concerned, I’ve been on unpaid leave for the past three months.”

Buck’s mouth dropped open. “That schemer,” He said, scandalized.

“He knew I was always going to come back,” Eddie said as warmth licked through Buck’s veins. Leave it to Bobby to be certain of Eddie’s return, when Buck hadn’t been sure himself. “We also have paperwork we have to fill out.”

“That sounds about right,” Buck mused, running his fingers through the hair at Eddie’s nape.

“I’m gonna be partnered up with Ravi while you’re on light duty, and probably when I get back from paternity leave and you’re still on yours,” Eddie informed him.

“That’s good, I trust him,” Buck asserted. “Oh! I forgot, he also knows about the twins.”

“What?” Eddie said, wrinkling his nose. “How did that happen?”

“She’s being very secretive about it, but I think him and May are together,” Buck said conspiratorially. “Do not tell Bobby.”

Eddie gave him an unimpressed look. “Why would I tell Bobby?”

“I’m just saying!” Buck insisted. “I think I might have also agreed to him and May being the godparents. They were at one of my ultrasounds. It’s all kind of a blur.”

Eddie blew out a breath. “Well, I’m glad you weren’t alone.”

“I wasn’t,” Buck assured him. “And you’ll be at my next one.” He frowned, briefly. “Well, I guess not since you’ll be back in Texas dealing with house stuff, but you gotta come back for the sixteen-week one, that’s the fun one! That’s when we find out the gender. I’ve been having them weekly.”

Now it was Eddie’s turn to frown. “Okay, I know it’s been a while, but weekly ultrasounds aren’t exactly normal.”

“No, they want to keep checking to make sure—” Buck cut himself off. “So, you know how I said how I found out I was pregnant was a funny story…”

“You didn’t say it was a funny story, you said, and I quote, ‘you’re gonna love that story,’ and something tells me I’m not going to love it or find it funny,” Eddie said, his voice tight.

Buck steeled himself. “I’ve been having a hard time with being nauseous and keeping food down, you know a bit of that.” Eddie nodded. “Well, in the beginning, it was worse, a lot worse. I wasn’t really eating at all and was throwing up all the time. The sensitivity to smells has calmed down, but it was awful in the beginning. We were on a call, nothing major, just a fender bender, but umm,” Buck gnawed at his lip, feeling somewhat embarrassed.

“I caught the scent of an Alpha that Chim was treating, and it immediately made me sick, I guess because I hadn’t been eating or keeping anything down, I was really dehydrated? I threw up and then passed out. I don’t know what happened after that, all I know is that I woke up in the hospital with Bobby being very concerned. Nobody knew that we…” He trailed off.

“So Bobby and I were convinced I was sick, right? They did a blood test and it came back that I was pregnant. When the doctor came in for the ultrasound, we found out I was having twins, Eds, you should have seen the look on Bobby’s face when he found out, I thought he was gonna keel over.” Buck attempted to lighten the mood, half-smiling at Eddie.

“Oh, Buck, sweetheart,” Eddie said, sounding wrecked.

“It’s okay,” Buck said quickly, running his fingers through Eddie’s hair. “I’m okay, the babies are okay. You’re here. We’re doing this together. I don’t need you to feel guilty.”

“You passed out on a call and ended up in the hospital,” Eddie said, his voice thick and shredded. “I should’ve been here.”

“You had to get Chris,” Buck supplied simply, because really it was as simple as that.

“Yeah, but I never would have had to get Chris if I hadn’t fucked up in the first place,” Eddie said, frustrated.

“I still love you,” Buck told him, because it was true.

Even when Eddie was imploding his life, he still loved him. He was certain a part of him would never fall out of love with Eddie. The love he had for him was all-consuming and something he’d carry around for the rest of his life.

“I love you,” Eddie replied, pressing his face into Buck’s neck. “And I don’t deserve you.”

“Cut that out,” Buck chided gently. “The only thing you have to do to deserve me is to love me, which you do.”

“I used to be grateful for these stupid fucking scent patches,” Eddie said, muffled into the skin of Buck’s neck. “That way I didn’t have to smell you at work, and it was easier to pretend you didn’t make me want to lose my mind. Now, I hate them. I just want to smell you.”

Buck made a calculated decision, though, it wasn’t exactly a hard one. He pried Eddie out of his neck, momentarily to peel off the fresh scent patch he’d stuck on that morning. “I have more in my locker,” Buck said in response to Eddie’s penetrating gaze. He tucked Eddie back into his bare neck. “Take what you need, honey.”

The one good thing about being an Omega was that his scent was pretty universally comforting to Alphas and Betas alike. He preened at being able to give comfort to his Alpha, hoping to soothe him in the same way Eddie’s scent had comforted him.

Eddie nosed along his scent gland, taking in deep breaths. He mouthed over Buck’s neck, allowing for more potent intoxication of his scent.

“You already smelled good before, but now that you’re pregnant,” Eddie muttered. “Baby.”

Buck swallowed, willing himself not to slick up his uniform pants as Eddie snuffled into his neck. “It’s a biological imperative to protect Omegas while they’re carrying. It was an evolutionary thing to make it harder for Alphas and Betas to harm pregnant Omegas. I read that hunters used to have any pregnant Omegas in their tribes scent them before they went out because it made them less susceptible to danger.”

Eddie made a sound to let Buck know he was listening.

“They’d also use pregnant Omega scents for fertility rituals because they thought it would make others more fertile. I don’t think science backs them up. It was still interesting to read,” Buck continued.

“That’s cool,” Eddie said. “I’m not letting you scent anyone but me, though.”

“You don’t have to worry about that,” Buck said, laughing.

Eddie kissed Buck’s neck before pulling back. “Can I scent you? Before I go?”

“I’m gonna put on a new scent patch as soon as you let me out of here, so it won’t do much,” Buck said, despite knowing he was going to relent. He’d never dream of turning down an opportunity to be scented by Eddie, especially after he’d spent the last few months fantasizing that he would.

“Yeah, but, you’ll know and I’ll know that you smell like me underneath it, and that’s all that really matters.”

“Okay,” Buck said, baring his neck. “Have at it, Alpha.”

Instead of going straight for his neck, Eddie reached out, dragging his hand slowly down Buck’s face. Buck’s breath stuttered. It was a little old school, and a touch primal, and it scorched heat right through Buck’s core. Eddie wasn’t merely scenting him—he was scent-marking him—in a way that was only appropriate for mated pairs.

Eddie’s lips twitched into a pleased, faint smirk. “Now you’ll smell like me all day.”

Eddie trailed his hand down from Buck’s face to rub the scent gland on his wrist into the scent gland on Buck’s neck, further cementing his scent on Buck’s body.

The moment he was finished, Buck grabbed at his hand, bringing Eddie’s wrist scent gland to his mouth.

“When I get home, after Chris goes to bed, you’re gonna do that again while I’m on your knot,” Buck told him breathlessly.

───────────────────────────────────

“savor this with everything i have inside of me.”

— “bags” / clairo

───────────────────────────────────

FIFTEEN WEEKS

───────────────────────────────────

“I want you to call me every day,” Eddie said sternly as they stood on the curb, Buck’s Jeep idling precariously in the no-parking drop-off zone at LAX. “I mean it, Buck, every day. I want updates, especially if you’re not feeling good.”

“Every day,” Buck agreed. “You have to let me know how things go with your parents and the house, though.”

“I will,” Eddie promised. He eyed Chris, who was off to the side, his full attention on his phone. “C’mere.”

Eddie drew Buck into a hug. They kept it polite and platonic, not letting their hands wander. They didn’t want to give anything away before they told Christopher officially.

“I love you,” Buck whispered into Eddie’s ear in the middle of their hug.

“Love you, too, baby,” Eddie whispered back, and pecked a fleeting kiss into Buck’s curls.

Eddie had knotted him that morning until he was dripping come, his own cock spurting onto the sheets with three of Eddie’s fingers in his mouth. The Alpha had muttered filth hot in his ear the entire time, telling him how he was such a good boy, and was doing such a good job at being quiet.

The sting of missing Eddie was ever-present, but less pronounced this time.

He’d miss him, of course, however, there wasn’t an ache blooming in his chest.

They were coming back, and for good.

Buck had shyly built a nest the night before in their bed, under Eddie’s encouragement. The Alpha scented everything in the nest for good measure, to soothe Buck while he was away.

“Do I get a goodbye hug?” Buck asked Christopher once he and Eddie parted, and they were a respectable distance away from each other.

Chris glanced up from his phone. “No,” He said, dry as ever.

Buck sputtered.

“It’s not goodbye, so no goodbye hug,” Chris elaborated defiantly. “You’ll get a hug when we come back.”

“Okay, bud,” Buck said, sharing a fond look with Eddie. “I think I can work with that.”

“Alright, kid, we better get moving or we’re gonna miss our flight,” Eddie said, ushering Chris in the direction of the automatic sliding doors.

Buck stayed on the curb, watching them as they went.

He could do this. He could last a week without Eddie because there was the promise of his return.

—

“You’re looking pretty tired,” Eddie said fifteen minutes into one of their nightly FaceTime calls.

Buck yawned. “Yeah, ‘cause I am. I swear I could have put out five fires and it wouldn’t exhaust me the same way reading through all those incident reports do. My eyes hurt.”

“You’re being very brave, I know you hate doing paperwork,” Eddie said sympathetically.

“Chim’s handwriting sucks. I am not looking forward to going through all your incident reports when you come back, the only person with worse handwriting than Chim is you,” Buck teased.

“My handwriting is not that bad,” Eddie defended, even though he was smiling. “Not all of us can have handwriting as neat and pretty as yours. It’s ridiculous.”

“Thank Maddie, she’s the one who taught me how to write. I think I dotted my i’s with hearts until middle school when I started getting shit for it,” Buck said, rubbing over his belly. “Oh, did you see what fruit we’re at this week?”

Eddie hummed. “The app said an apple, but it also listed a mango, and I feel like those are very different sizes.”

“I know, every chart I look up says a different fruit or vegetable, and I don’t know if I’m bad at knowing the sizes of normal fruits or what, ‘cause they seem wildly inconsistent,” Buck mused.

“They’ll give you measurements at your ultrasound this week, right? We’ll go from there. I was thinking, I could FaceTime you during your ultrasound.”

Buck waved his hand, yawning again. “Nah, I cancelled it.”

“Buck! They’ve been doing them weekly for a reason,” Eddie said, his eyes widening. “What do you mean you just cancelled it?”

Buck rolled his eyes. “It’s one week, it’s not a big deal. I have one next week. I want you to be there for it, in person.”

“Buck—”

“Nope, you’re gonna be at the next one. End of discussion,” Buck said, giving Eddie his best ‘puppy dog’ eyes. “Anyways, how’s Chris doing with saying goodbye to all his Texas friends?”

Eddie gave him a look that said he knew exactly what Buck was doing, but still allowed the topic change. “Oh, the kid’s a regular snob, he said everyone in Texas was way lamer than his LA friends.”

Buck laughed. “He really said that?”

Eddie huffed. “Oh, that’s not even the half of it. He went on about how there were barely any clubs and that he was annoyed there wasn’t a robotics club or GSA,” Eddie paused. “I’m gonna be honest, I have no idea what GSA even is. I just nodded along like I knew.”

Buck blinked. “Eds, it’s Gay-Straight Alliance club. He’s been in it here since he got into middle school. Didn’t you sign the permission slip?” Buck considered it for a moment. “Okay, maybe I signed the permission slip. I’ve been forging your signature for them for so long I can’t keep track.”

“Does that mean…?” Eddie trailed off, his brows furrowing.

Buck snorted. “I don’t think it means anything. There’s like over a hundred kids in the club. They had a bake sale for it last year, and it was a zoo. I’m pretty sure Denny and his other friend Zara are in it, too.”

“I thought that bake sale was for student government,” Eddie muttered. “Anyway, he said the only clubs they have here are National Honor Society, Key Club, FFA, and 4-H, and he would, and I quote, ‘rather die than join 4-H.’”

Buck snickered. “At least he’s honest. That makes sense, I think Key Club is religious? I just remember all the super Christian kids at my high school being in it.”

Eddie shook his head. “Can’t believe I raised a spoiled city kid. I was in 4-H.”

“I know,” Buck said smugly. “I saw your ribbons. A lot of red ones, didn’t see many blues.”

“Oh, fuck off,” Eddie said, even though he was laughing. “And where are all of your ribbons?”

“You’d have to be in clubs to have ribbons. The only thing I did in high school was football, and that was mainly because I think my dad thought they could tackle the Omega out of me.”

Despite only seeing his face through a tinny phone screen, Buck could make out the clench of Eddie’s jaw.

“Have I ever mentioned how much I hate your parents?” Eddie said with gritted teeth.

“Often and regularly,” Buck said, fighting another yawn. He needed another topic change; they could go all night complaining about their various parental issues. “Have you made any progress with the house?”

“Kind of, sort of,” Eddie said non-committedly after a moment. “I talked to Sophia about it, and one of her friends from college is a Real Estate Attorney now, so she might be able to help me out. I have a call scheduled with her tomorrow, so, we’ll see.”

“That’s great, Eds,” Buck said, and lost his battle with the yawn.

“Okay, sweetheart, you’re going to bed. I know those babies are tiring you out,” Eddie said knowingly.

“I wanna keep talking to you,” Buck whined. “Wanna keep hearing your voice.”

“How about this?” Eddie suggested, his voice warm. “You get ready for bed, and get some sleep. I’ll stay on the phone with you the whole time. Alright?”

“Mmkay,” Buck agreed. He couldn’t deny the way his eyes were drooping and his limbs felt heavy. “I miss you.”

“I miss you, too,” Eddie said immediately. “Now go brush your teeth. If you don’t, you’ll complain about how your mouth feels gross in the morning.”

“Will you get ready for bed, too?” Buck asked, peeling himself up from the couch.

“Yeah, baby, I can do that,” Eddie relented.

Falling asleep with Eddie’s voice through the phone in his ear wasn’t as good as the real thing, but it was leagues better than what they’d been doing before. Buck couldn’t wait to have Eddie and Chris home again. He was counting down the days.

—

“I know you’re at work, I just—” Eddie said hastily as soon as Buck picked up his phone.

“I’m literally staring at a computer screen, digitizing a gear damage report, I promise you are not interrupting. This is already making my day,” Buck insisted, cutting Eddie off.

“Right, force of habit. I forgot you’re an office worker now.”

Buck glared at his phone. “Say that again and see if I let you touch me when you get home.”

“Okay, Jesus,” Eddie said, taken aback. “Anyways, I called because I just got off the phone with Luisa, Sophia’s friend, and now I’ll have to fill out some paperwork, but she has a plan for how I can get out of the mortgage.”

“What! Eddie, that’s awesome!” Buck cheered. “What’s the plan?”

“Apparently because they never disclosed some of the structural and wiring damages of the house, if I threaten to sue, Luisa thinks they’ll void the mortgage contract to get out of a potential suit,” Eddie said, sounding delighted.

“So you just have to fill out some paperwork, and it’s like a wash? Like you never bought it in the first place?”

“Exactly.”

“Can you tell Luisa I love her?” Buck joked.

“I will absolutely not be doing that, but I appreciate the enthusiasm,” Eddie said dryly.

“What’s the plan with you coming home then? Are you still coming back at the end of the week?” Buck prodded.

“If everything goes well with the paperwork tomorrow, we should be able to load everything up the day after that. My mom’s gonna pitch a fit of epic proportions, although honestly, I don’t really care.”

Buck was practically buzzing. “Two more days and then you’re home for good?”

“That’s the plan,” Eddie said, and Buck could hear the smile on his face.

Buck was sure his grin was manic. “I can’t wait.”

—

The entire day, Buck was practically buzzing. Eddie had given him sporadic updates about them packing up his truck and the U-Haul, and had given him a general ETA of their arrival.

Nothing could ever come close to the feeling of joy that spread through him at seeing Eddie’s truck pulling into the driveway, Christopher in tow.

Buck made sure to turn on the porchlight before he sped down the driveway. Christopher flung open the passenger door.

“Do I get my hug now?” Buck said, grinning.

“I guess,” Christopher said, with all the surliness his teenage body could manage. From the way he wrapped his arms around Buck and held on tight, he knew it was all an act.

Buck ushered Christopher inside with his crutches while Eddie grabbed some of their bags from the backseat.

Christopher waved off Buck’s questions about fixing something for dinner, telling him about how they’d stopped on the way and gotten food. He was tired from the car ride and really just wanted to go to bed. Buck didn’t stop him, kissing him on the top of his head, to which Christopher wrinkled his nose.

With Christopher in bed, that left Eddie and Buck alone in the kitchen.

“You’re home,” Buck said, almost not believing it himself.

“We’re home,” Eddie confirmed, taking a few steps forward to pull Buck into a kiss.

Buck melted into it, charmed, and giddy with happiness.

“Missed you,” Eddie said, kissing the corner of Buck’s mouth for good measure. He took a half-step back. “Alright, let me see.”

Buck rolled his eyes fondly, but still bunched up his hoodie to show off his bump. Eddie immediately cradled it in his hands, transfixed.

“It’s bigger,” He murmured, and Buck laughed.

“It’s been a week, Eds, I can assure you it's the exact same size,” Buck insisted, even while Eddie shook his head.

“No, it’s bigger. God, sweetheart, look at you.”

Buck preened under Eddie’s attention.

“How have you been feeling? Have you been eating and sleeping enough?” Eddie pressed.

Buck looked up at him from under his lashes. “Yes, Alpha.”

Eddie’s eyes darkened. “I want you to get ready for bed. Then I want you to get all comfy in your nest while I put some of this stuff away. Do you think you can be quiet?”

Buck peeled one of Eddie’s hands from off his bump to suck two of his fingers into his mouth. “I’ll be good, Alpha,” He said once Eddie’s fingers were slick with spit.

Eddie’s voice was a low hum in reply. “I know you will.”

Chapter Text

—

“Buck, it’s going to be fine,” Eddie said placatingly as Buck fussed over the pancake batter he was pouring onto the heated frying pan. They were blueberry—Christopher’s favorite.

“What if he doesn’t like us together? He’s freaked out before. I don’t want to be the cause of that,” Buck stressed, flipping over a pancake with vigor. He was pulling out all the stops to butter Chris up before they told him the news.

They were going to start slow, by telling him about their relationship before they broke the news of the pregnancy. They didn’t want to overwhelm him with everything all at once.

“He freaked out because I didn’t talk to him about stuff, but that’s what we’re doing now. We’re talking. We’re communicating. C’mon, it’s Chris, you know he loves you,” Eddie reasoned, snagging a blueberry from the bowl Buck had next to the stove. He slapped his hand away weakly, with no real heat to it.

“I know he loves me,” Buck said, because he was confident in that. “Just… what if he doesn’t love the idea of us together?”

Eddie shrugged. “I’m not worried. You’ve been his Buck for nearly as long as you’ve known him.” He put his hands on Buck’s hips. “Baby, you gotta relax.”

Buck sank into Eddie’s touch, relaxing a little, much to his chagrin, as Eddie hooked his chin over his shoulder.

The sound of crutches in the hallway forced them to separate. Buck did his best to act as normal as possible as Chris entered the kitchen.

“Morning,” Chris greeted them groggily.

“Good morning, buddy!” Buck exclaimed enthusiastically. Maybe too enthusiastically if Eddie’s wince from the other side of the kitchen was any indication.

Chris blinked at him. “Good morning, Buck.” He narrowed his eyes. “Why are you being weird?”

“Weird?” Buck said faintly. “I’m not being weird!” He turned his attention back to the pancakes on the burner before he could further incriminate himself.

“Okay…” Chris said, drawing out the syllables. “Are you making pancakes? Like when I was little?”

“You’re still little,” Eddie grumbled, handing Buck a plate to deposit his pancakes onto.

“Just wait ‘til I’m taller than you,” Chris sassed, resting his crutches against the table. He peered at the pancakes Buck was stacking high on the plate. “Are those blueberry pancakes?”

“Your favorite,” Buck said, smiling at him in a way he hoped wasn’t too suspicious.

“Right,” Chris said, his voice unreadable. He picked his crutches back up. “I’m gonna get my phone, hold on.”

“Hey,” Eddie said, “No phones at the—”

“No, it’s fine, he can get his phone,” Buck cut him off, giving Eddie a look. They needed the kid on their side. Now was not the time for A+ parenting.

Buck sat the plate of pancakes onto the table, waiting patiently for Chris’s return, wringing his hands with nerves.

It wasn’t that he thought Chris would give them a bad reaction, he just couldn’t get his mind to quiet at the possibility of Chris even slightly disapproving.

Chris returned with his phone and took his usual seat, glancing at Buck and Eddie expectantly.

“We have something we want to talk to you about,” Eddie said, taking the first plunge.

“I figured,” Chris said, nonplussed. His eyes darted between Buck and Eddie, and he frowned. “Buck’s not moving out, is he?”

“No,” Buck was quick to say, then rubbed at the back of his neck sheepishly. “But that kind of has something to do with what we want to talk about.”

Eddie cleared his throat. “I know I don’t have the best track record, mijo, and I never want to do something that would make you uncomfortable.”

Chris’s eyes widened. “Oh my God, is it happening?”

Buck furrowed his brows. “Is what happening?”

“No, continue,” Chris said, taking a bite from the pancakes in front of him. “I wanna hear this.”

Eddie opened and closed his mouth a few times, so Buck decided to put him out of his misery. “Me and your Dad are together. Like, in a relationship.” Buck swallowed as Eddie reached for his hand, tangling their fingers together. “Is that… is that okay with you?”

“It is happening!” Chris crowed, positively delighted. “Jesus, I’ve been trying to get you guys together since I was like, eight.”

Eddie sputtered. “What?”

“You think I was mad because you were dating my teacher? I was mad because you weren’t dating Buck,” Chris said meaningfully. “Everyone at school thinks I have two dads, now it’s for real. I’ve had adoption papers bookmarked on my laptop since I was ten. Did you know if you’re over the age of twelve in California, you’re responsible for filing the paperwork, not your guardian?”

Buck gaped at him. “So, you’re fine with this?”

“If you waited another calendar year, I had plans in place to parent trap you,” Chris said, as if he wasn’t rocking Buck’s entire world.

“How were you going to parent trap us?” Eddie said, utterly baffled.

“Not important,” Chris replied, waving his hand. He grabbed his phone and started typing on it rapidly. “Wait, when did you two get together? Were you together while Dad was in El Paso?”

“No, we weren’t. This is new,” Buck said, looking at Eddie from the corner of his eye. They had agreed to keep most of the sordid details of how they got together from Chris. “We didn’t get together officially until you guys came back.”

Chris’s typing only increased its ferocity. “Who asked who out?”

“Umm,” Buck said intelligently, absolutely lost at Chris’s line of questioning. He’d been expecting him to be more concerned with Buck’s place in his life, and to comfort him with promises that no matter what, he was always going to be there for him.

Eddie narrowed his eyes. “Who are you texting?”

Chris peered up from his phone. “Okay, don’t be mad.”

Eddie crossed his arms. “Are you about to give me a reason to be mad?”

Chris averted his gaze. “That depends on how you feel about gambling.”

“Gambling?” Buck echoed, and then a few things began to slot into place. “Christopher James Diaz, did you bet on us?”

Chris at least had the decency to wince. “Would it make you feel better if I said I now have twenty grand to add to my college fund?”

“Twenty grand?” Eddie croaked. “Where did you get that kind of money?”

“Hey, I only had to put in a hundred dollars, and that was years ago. I’m seeing pretty good returns on this. Now, who made the first move?” Chris pressed.

“I can’t believe this,” Eddie muttered, putting his face in his hands.

“It was kind of both of us? At different times?” Buck offered, still reeling from the fact that there was not only a bet on them getting together, but that it had reached such monetary highs.

“Damn,” Chris mumbled, tapping at his phone. “Aunt Maddie just won five grand.”

“Okay, how much money did you guys have on this?” Eddie demanded, attempting to grab Chris’s phone. Chris was faster, clutching it to his chest. “Who’s your bookie?”

“Aunt Hen started it. I only got in on it a few years ago, it was already a thing way before then. The money only got so high because you guys took forever. Bobby got disqualified last year,” Chris informed them helpfully.

“How did Bobby get— you know what, I don’t wanna know,” Eddie started, then trailed off, resigned.

“Aunt Maddie was close to being disqualified, but it looks like she pulled through. Her and Uncle Chim said they’re adding it to Jee’s college fund,” Chris spilled, seeming eager to share the details.

“Maddie was absolutely insider trading,” Buck said, though he couldn’t be too mad. He’d put money on the bet between Bobby and Athena all those years ago, so in some ways, this was karma.

“Well, I’m glad all these kids are going to college on our dime,” Eddie said lowly, and Buck rolled his eyes.

“It wasn’t exactly our dime, if you think about it. As long as that money goes into your college fund and you don’t spend it on video games,” Buck said, turning his attention back to Christopher.

Chris held up his hands, putting on a face of pure innocence that Buck didn’t believe one bit.

“You’re really fine with us being together?” Buck couldn’t help but ask again.

“As long as you guys aren’t gross and like, make out in front of me, then yeah,” Chris said, making a face at the mere idea.

Buck laughed. “We’ll try to keep the kissing to a minimum.”

“I guess everyone at work now knows we’re together,” Eddie said, and Chris looked a bit guilty.

“It wasn’t a secret, was it?” Chris said hesitantly.

“We were gonna wait for the right moment. Now the cat’s out of the bag, I suppose,” Buck said, eyeing Eddie cautiously.

“You’re filling out the paperwork,” Eddie said, pointing at Buck.

“I was going to fill out the paperwork anyway, and you know it,” Buck shot back.

“So now that you two are together,” Chris hedged, “Is Buck going to be living here, permanently?”

“No, I think your dad is gonna kick me out onto the street,” Buck teased.

“Don’t even joke about that,” Eddie said, sounding distressed at the suggestion. “Yes, he’s going to be living here.”

“Awesome,” Chris said enthusiastically. “I love you, Dad, but Buck’s way better at helping me with homework.”

“Oh, I see, you only want me around for my services,” Buck said lightly as happiness filled him from head to toe.

Christopher gave him a look that screamed ‘duh’ that had Buck snickering.

“Great,” Eddie said dryly. “Now you two are going to team up on me, huh?”

“Did you think we weren’t before?” Buck said, giving Eddie his best shit-eating grin.

“What have I gotten myself into?” Eddie said, however, the effect he was going for was smothered by his own grin sent in Buck’s direction.

───────────────────────────────────

SIXTEEN WEEKS

───────────────────────────────────

“Okay, so place your bet, are you thinking they’re boys or girls?” Buck inquired delightedly as Eddie held his hand in the waiting area of the hospital.

“Great, now I have two gambling addicts in my midst,” Eddie quipped.

Buck slapped at his chest playfully. “C’mon, you have to have a guess!”

Eddie shrugged. “I don’t care what they are as long as they’re healthy.”

“Well, yeah,” Buck said as if it was obvious. “I don’t care as long as they’re healthy either, but it’s fun to speculate. And they’re identical! So we know they’re both the same gender.”

“What do you think they are?” Eddie said, dodging the question.

Buck hummed thoughtfully, rubbing his stomach over his hoodie—one he’d stolen from Eddie. It was a bit snug and rode up a bit under the strain of Buck’s growing belly. Eddie could barely keep his eyes off of him in it, and it made Buck ridiculously pleased.

“I think they’re girls. I just have a feeling,” Buck said after a minute, confident in his answer.

“Well, then my bet is on two boys, to keep it even,” Eddie replied diplomatically. “Plus,” He continued, grinning, “I do have a history with boys.”

“One boy,” Buck corrected. “If they’re half as great as Christopher, their gender is irrelevant to me.”

“Have you been thinking about names?” Eddie asked suddenly.

“A little,” Buck admitted. “I have a book at home with names I’ve been meaning to look through, I just haven’t gotten to it yet.”

“Oh. Did you borrow it from Maddie?” Eddie wondered, his thumb rubbing over Buck’s knuckles.

Buck shook his head. “No, I bought it. It’s a book of saint names and their meanings.” Eddie glanced at him sharply, and Buck gave him a small smile. “I figured we’d stick with the theme.”

Eddie squeezed his hand. “We don’t have to. I mean, you’re not Catholic.”

“Yeah, but you are. I don’t want them to feel left out. Besides, I was already planning on them being baptized,” Buck said.

It was something he’d given a decent amount of thought. He didn’t have many strong feelings one way or another about religion. That being said, it was nice to offer his babies the chance to be a part of something, a thing that had a clear meaning to Eddie and Christopher. He knew Eddie’s family would probably insist on them being baptized when they found out about them, and he was already prepared.

“Abuela and Tia Pepa will be over the moon,” Eddie mused.

Buck’s smile widened. “I kind of wanted to do it for them, too.”

“What did I ever do to deserve you?” Eddie said, sounding lovestruck and awed.

Buck felt his cheeks flushing. “You were you, idiot.”

Eddie softened, opening his mouth to say something, but was cut off by a nurse in scrubs walking into the waiting room announcing, “Evan Buckley?”

“That’s us, c’mon,” Buck said, launching up from the uncomfortable waiting room chairs. He stumbled a bit, and Eddie was quick to put a hand on his lower back to steady him, keeping their fingers entwined with his other hand. Buck’s bump had just recently gotten big enough that it was slightly throwing off his center of gravity in a way he wasn’t used to.

“Easy,” Eddie muttered under his breath. He kept his hand on the small of Buck’s back the entire walk to the hospital room they’d be doing the ultrasound in.

Buck settled onto the cot, flipping up his hoodie to lay his stomach bare.

“I’ve been meaning to ask,” Eddie said as they waited for Dr. Cho to come in. “Why are we doing this at the hospital? Shouldn’t you be getting these done at a doctor’s office?”

“I’m supposed to be finding an OBGYN,” Buck admitted. “I don’t know, there’s all this research I have to do to find the best one, and I haven’t yet. Dr. Cho has been doing them since my first one when I found out, and she knows everything about my case, so it’s been kind of nice.”

“You could try to get in with Maddie’s doctor, I remember she loved her,” Eddie suggested.

Buck bit his lip. “Yeah, she did,” He conceded. “I’ve thought about it. She specializes in Beta pregnancies, though, and it would probably be better to find one that specializes in male Omega pregnancies. I also know I’ll most likely have to get a C-section… it’s a whole thing,” Buck said, waving his hand.

“I didn’t even think about that,” Eddie said, twisting his lips into a frown. He stood next to Buck on the cot, leaning down to kiss his forehead quickly. “We’ll find one, okay?”

“Yeah,” Buck said dreamily, smiling at Eddie for being protective and doting. He knew in the deep recesses of his mind that Eddie would be like this once he found out about the twins. He was kicking himself a bit for keeping it from him for so long.

“If we are betting on the gender,” Eddie said thoughtfully, “What does the winner get?”

Buck wiggled his eyebrows in a fashion that was completely dorky and not sexy at all. “If you’re right, I could blow you when we get home.”

Eddie’s responding look was deeply unimpressed. “You were going to do that anyway.”

“Hey!” Buck crowed indignantly, while Eddie grinned at him wolfishly. “Rude!”

“I don’t want to blow you just because you won a bet,” Eddie said pointedly.

“Aww, you wanna do it because you love me?” Buck teased, fluttering his lashes.

Eddie rolled his eyes, but mumbled, “Yes, asshole,” making Buck melt.

“Picking dinner or something is boring.”

“You’re the one who’s pregnant, you’re gonna be picking dinner regardless,” Eddie said. And okay. That was fair.

“Well, I’m going to be picking dinner because I’m going to be right.”

“Yes, dear,” Eddie replied dryly. “Whatever you say, dear.”

“Now who’s the—” Buck went to snark back, but abruptly shut his mouth with a click at the entrance of Dr. Cho.

“Mr. Buckley,” She greeted warmly. “It’s nice to see you again.” She eyed Eddie and gave him a polite smile. “And I see you’ve brought another friend.”

“Actually,” Buck said, grinning impishly, reaching for Eddie’s hand. “This is Eddie, he’s the father.”

“Eddie Diaz,” Dr. Cho said, as recognition dawned across her face. “Ah, your medical proxy, I see.”

“Yeah,” Eddie said, nervousness clear in his voice. “That’s me.”

“It’s nice to finally meet you, Mr. Diaz. I’m happy to have you here,” Dr. Cho said professionally, sitting next to Buck with her laptop in her lap. “How have you been feeling, Buck? Have there been any changes?”

“I’m still having nausea sometimes,” Buck said hesitantly. “It’s been better with Eddie around. I have been eating more! I don’t think I’ve had any cravings yet. I’m still more tired than I usually am.”

Dr. Cho made a few notes on her laptop. “I’ll want to take some blood after our appointment today to check some of your markers, if that’s alright with you.” Buck nodded, and Dr. Cho continued. “As we get into the second trimester, your nausea should drastically reduce, and studies have shown that the presence of the siring Alpha should decrease the severity of most symptoms. Lethargy and fatigue will be common throughout the duration of your pregnancy, unfortunately. If you’re feeling tired, I recommend resting as much as you can, as it’s the body’s way of telling you to slow down and take a beat. Growing a human, never mind two humans at once, can be taxing on the body. You’re burning more calories and using up more energy reserves than you would be normally.”

“That makes sense,” Buck said, taking in all the information she was providing.

“He said he was back on blood thinners. Can you tell us a little more about that?” Eddie jumped in.

“Since Buck has a history of clotting, and pregnancy increases the risk of blood clots, I thought it would be best if he were put back on blood thinners. I decided to put him on Heparin instead of Warfarin because Warfarin isn’t safe for pregnancy and has been known to cause birth defects. Heparin is the safest blood thinner to take while pregnant, and it’s relatively common to be on it since pregnancy carries the risk of clotting,” Dr. Cho explained.

Eddie pulled out his phone, seeming to take in everything Dr. Cho was saying with single-minded focus.

“What about when he gives birth? Wouldn’t being on a blood thinner increase his risk of hemorrhaging? Even if he gets a C-section?” Eddie wondered.

“I plan to wean him off the blood thinner as we get closer to that time, with him completely off of it the last two to three weeks of his pregnancy to avoid that risk. A blood thinner could increase his risk of hemorrhaging, you’re correct. However, I believe we will most likely deliver the babies via C-section, and the surgical team will be prepped with his full history to mitigate that as best as we can. He’ll be in good hands,” Dr. Cho elaborated. “We haven’t gone so far as to discuss a birth plan yet, and that conversation will be opened up later once your pregnancy has progressed more. Our main focus right now is that you and the babies remain healthy.”

“I’m doing my best,” Buck said weakly.

Eddie squeezed his hand immediately. “You’re doing so good.”

Buck’s heart swelled as gooey syrup seemed to replace the blood in his veins.

“Alright, are you two ready for the exciting part now?” Dr. Cho prompted knowingly.

“Yes!” Buck exclaimed.

Dr. Cho poured the ultrasound jelly onto his stomach with routine precision and pressed the wand to his stomach, moving the screen into a better position for them both to see.

“We have to come up with nicknames for Baby ‘A’ and Baby ‘B’,” Buck said conspiratorially to Eddie.

“I’m sure we’ll think of something,” Eddie assured him, his eyes glued on the monitor.

“Here’s Baby ‘A’’s heartbeat,” Dr. Cho announced, putting a little more pressure on the wand, causing the sound of the tinny heartbeat to come from the speakers. Buck took a deep breath, lulled by the sound of his baby’s heartbeat. Even though he’d been to numerous ultrasounds at this point, getting to hear the reassuring heartbeat never got old. “It’s a little fast, but like I told you the first time, that’s normal.” She twisted the wand around to the other side of Buck’s belly. “Now, here’s Baby ‘B’.”

Buck glanced over at Eddie to gauge his reaction and saw that the Alpha’s eyes were wet, his mouth scrunching up in the tell-tale way it always did when he was trying his best not to cry. It hit Buck then that this was Eddie’s first time hearing their heartbeats.

“It’s pretty crazy, right?” Buck said softly, squeezing Eddie’s hand for comfort.

“God, you’re—” Eddie breathed. He swooped down to kiss Buck’s birthmark. “You’re amazing, sweetheart. I’m so proud of you.”

“Eds,” Buck breathed back, his voice cracking and his own eyes now wet with tears.

“Everything’s looking good,” Dr. Cho said quietly, obviously doing her best not to interrupt their emotional moment. “Heartbeats are strong and steady, their measurements are on track. You’re doing a really great job, Buck.”

“If you guys keep complimenting me, it’s going to go to my head,” Buck said wetly, despite his entire body soaring under all the praise. He was doing well. He was taking care of his babies. He was so full of pride he was worried he might burst.

“I know some parents like to keep it a surprise,” Dr. Cho hedged. “I can let you know the gender today if that’s something you’re interested in. I can also put it in a sealed envelope if you have plans to do some sort of gender reveal, I know those are all the rage these days.”

“We want to know the gender,” Buck said quickly.

Dr. Cho nodded. She pointed at the two white blobs on the screen. “As I’m sure you’re aware, since you’re having identical twins, they’re both going to have the same gender. I can confirm you are the proud parents of two little girls.”

Buck’s grin was blinding and smug as he whipped his head around to look at Eddie. “I was right!”

“You were right,” Eddie conceded, his eyes still a bit wet. “Two girls. Wow.”

Dr. Cho wiped the remaining jelly off of Buck’s stomach, then peeled off her gloves and went over to the sink in the corner to wash her hands. “Your ultrasound pictures will be waiting at the front desk. I’ll give you two a moment to process. Congratulations.”

With that, she swept out the door, leaving Buck and Eddie alone in the room.

“Girls!” Buck said delightedly. “I can’t believe we’re—” The end of his sentence was smothered by Eddie launching out of his chair to kiss him soundly.

Buck kissed him back without a thought.

“What was that for?” Buck asked breathlessly when Eddie pulled away.

“You’re growing two whole humans, Buck. We’re having two little girls. You’re incredible,” Eddie told him, like he couldn’t get the words out fast enough.

Buck ducked his head, fluttering his lashes. “You gave them to me,” He replied, sickeningly sweet.

“Don’t go saying stuff like that when there’s nothing I can do about it,” Eddie said darkly, tracing over Buck’s bottom lip with his thumb.

Buck grinned. “Then take me home and do something about it, Alpha.”

—

The minute they got to the car, Buck was on Eddie, kissing him fervently. Eddie’s hands grabbed at his hips, groaning into his mouth.

They necked like teenagers in the parking lot, kissing until Buck’s lips were swollen and spit-slick, and from the looks of it, Eddie wasn’t faring much better.

“Love that you got me pregnant,” Buck said hotly, keening as Eddie sucked a mark under his jaw. “Just wanna keep having your babies.”

“You’re killing me,” Eddie said into the skin of Buck’s neck. “You’re gonna get us arrested.”

“Where’s your sense of adventure?” Buck teased, earning him a nip of Eddie’s teeth as a warning.

“I think we get enough adventure at work,” Eddie replied, but he was smiling.

“Take me home?” Buck proposed, and Eddie huffed out a laugh that sent goosebumps up Buck’s arms.

“I was trying until you jumped my bones,” Eddie quipped, with no hint of meanness. Buck glanced up at him and only saw fondness in his expression.

“We have some time before Chris gets home from school,” Buck said, shooting Eddie an impish grin. “I’m sure we can find something to fill the time.”

“I’m gonna fill something, alright,” Eddie mumbled under his breath, turning his key in the ignition.

—

Buck didn’t know if it was the pregnancy hormones finally rearing their head, the fact that he had Eddie completely at his disposal, or that it was Eddie, but either way, he was pretty positive he’d never been so consistently horny in his life.

Which, considering his past, was saying a lot.

They barely got through the front door after the ultrasound, before they were falling into bed.

Buck propped himself up on his elbows, laughing as Eddie stumbled getting out of his jeans.

Eddie glared at him, making Buck smile widely.

“C’mon, Alpha,” He goaded.

“Oh, so that’s how you wanna play it,” Eddie said, his voice low and filthy.

He climbed onto the bed, slotting his knees on either side of Buck’s hips. He paid careful attention not to put any pressure on Buck’s bump. He grabbed both of Buck’s wrists, pinning them above his head.

“You’re itching to be put in your place, huh, darlin’?” Eddie crooned, a bit of his Texas drawl sneaking out.

Buck squirmed playfully under his hold, delighting in the lack of give.

“Brat,” Eddie chastised, leaning down so his teeth were by Buck’s throat. “You’re lucky I know you can be good when you want to be.”

“Make me,” Buck gasped out, his heart hammering in his chest.

Eddie chuckled darkly, and Buck could feel the hard line of his cock against his hip.

Eddie’s eyes flashed red for barely a second, and he nosed at Buck’s throat, forcing the Omega to tilt it to the side, baring it.

“Settle,” He growled, using the full force of his Alpha voice.

Instantly, Buck’s legs opened, and he went completely boneless, melting into a pliant heap of limbs.

“Alpha,” Buck whined, his hole now leaking slick.

“Good boy,” Eddie said, hovering over him. “My good Omega.”

“Yours,” Buck confirmed, smiling serenely at Eddie.

“That’s right,” Eddie replied, taking both of Buck’s wrists into one hand so his other one could lie flat against Buck’s bump. “Mine. Nobody else could put these babies in your belly.”

Buck shook his head. “Just you,” He agreed, arching into Eddie’s touch.

Eddie released his grip on Buck’s wrists, sliding down the bed so that his face was level with Buck’s bump. His hands cupped the swell of Buck’s belly, nearly taking up the entirety of it.

“You’re gorgeous,” He whispered, kissing the taut skin. “The prettiest thing I’ve ever seen.”

“Eds,” Buck whimpered, spreading his legs even wider.

“Should’ve knocked you up years ago,” Eddie muttered into his stomach. “That way, everyone would have known you were mine.”

Buck looked back at Eddie with heavy-lidded eyes. He moved his arms from above his head to brush through Eddie’s soft hair.

His next words were hushed. “Is it bad that I already want more?”

Eddie’s eyes were sharp as they lifted to look him in the eye. “Yeah?”

“After the girls are born,” Buck said hesitantly. “I want more. I want you to keep knocking me up. I want as many as you’ll give me.”

Eddie pressed a sloppy, open-mouthed kiss to his bump. “What are we talking about here, you wanna fill up a house?” Eddie teased, though his lips had curled up into a smile.

Buck’s breath hitched. “I was thinking a whole baseball team.”

Eddie groaned, and Buck couldn’t help but feel satisfied. He knew that would get him, hook, line, and sinker. He loved having this effect on Eddie, as if he wasn’t the only one losing his mind with want and desire.

“How many players are we thinking? Enough just to load up the bases, or an entire team?” Eddie goaded him on, tapping his thigh in a signal for him to lift his hips, allowing for Eddie to slip his boxers off.

“How many are on the field and how many are on the team?” Buck asked innocently. It was partly a genuine question. He didn’t know shit about baseball, yet the fantasy was slicking him up.

He could imagine being on a field, his belly round, a pup on his hip, and all the bases loaded with little ones that looked just like Eddie. The Alpha would be gentle and soft, crouched low as he talked them through how to pitch and when to swing the bat.

“Nine on the field, twenty-six on the team total,” Eddie said hotly, kissing down Buck’s bump until his head was between his legs, nosing at the sensitive scent gland at his inner thigh.

“Well, then I guess I want a whole team,” Buck said breathlessly, and Eddie moaned against his thigh, sucking a dark mark into the thin skin of his thigh that had Buck keening.

Eddie’s fingers padded lightly over his hole. “We better get started, then, if you want a whole team.”

Two of his fingers slipped inside Buck with little warning, and Buck jerked his hips, his head falling back to expose the long column of his throat. He warbled out a moan.

He was already so wet that Eddie’s fingers didn’t meet any resistance.

“They’ll ask, whatever happened to Firefighter Buckley,” Buck managed, his heart thumping and mouth dry.

Eddie’s grin was wolfish and predatory as he worked in a third finger. Now wasn’t the time for long, drawn-out prep; they were too worked up, and if Buck didn’t get Eddie’s knot inside of him soon, he’d take matters into his own hands and sink down on it himself.

“I’ll tell ‘em, oh, don’t worry about him. He’s at home, pupped up, where he belongs,” Eddie said, playing along. Buck’s eyes rolled into the back of his head, pre-cum spirting over his belly at the thought.

Of course this was all hormone-laced dirty talk. Eddie would never talk about him in such a way in earnest, especially not at work, or to strangers. The mental image was still mind-melting. The idea of being Eddie’s good little brainless Omega housewife, kept around to be fucked and bred whenever the Alpha pleased, had molten lava curling in his gut.

“I’d be such a good housewife, Alpha,” Buck babbled as Eddie nudged over his prostate. “I’d have dinner ready, and you’d bend me over whenever you wanted. You could knot my mouth if my hole gets too sore. I don’t want to waste any.”

“Jesus,” Eddie muttered. His fingers slipped out of Buck, leaving him gaping and empty, his thighs wet with slick. “I gotta get inside you.”

“Yeah,” Buck nodded frantically. “Wanna feel you.”

Eddie pulled away briefly to shuck off his boxers with his clean hand. As soon as his cock was free, Buck’s mouth watered.

He didn’t know what he ever did to earn the affection of the hottest Alpha he’d ever seen. Eddie was all lean muscle, bronzed skin, with a pretty face to match. His cock was somehow pretty too; veiny and big, flushed pink, curving a bit at the end specifically to drive Buck crazy.

Buck would live his life over again, repeating every mistake, every heartache, and trauma, if it would all lead him back to this. In Eddie’s bed, in Eddie’s life, with him looking at him like he couldn’t get enough.

Eddie used the hand that was covered in Buck’s slick to wet his cock, and Buck clenched around nothing, empty and yearning.

“Please?” Buck begged sweetly, bending his knees so he was fully open and exposed, completely at Eddie’s mercy.

There was no place he’d rather be than with Eddie on the other end of his rope.

“You don’t gotta beg, sweetheart,” Eddie told him, inching forward so his cock aligned with the rim of Buck’s hole. “I got you.”

“I know you do,” Buck said immediately. “Who else is gonna triple-check my harness every time I go down?”

Eddie paused, his hand wrapped around Buck’s hips. His gaze was far away, landing somewhere on the sheets next to Buck’s head, not meeting his eyes.

“If something ever happened to you…” He whispered, the end of his sentence dying in his throat.

Buck sat up, tucking his legs around Eddie’s waist. He brought a hand tentatively up to the puckered pink skin near Eddie’s shoulder, softer and fresher than all the other skin surrounding it.

“I know the feeling,” Buck whispered back. “You triple-check my harness, and I watch your six. Because I love you and I have your back. We’re a team.”

Eddie exhaled. “Yeah, baby, we’re a team.”

Eddie sat back, settling Buck in his lap, with his legs locked around the Alpha’s hips. Eddie began to slowly sink his cock inside of him, and Buck tucked his face into Eddie’s neck. His mouth fell open the second he was fully seated on Eddie’s cock, and he let out a stuttered gasp.

“Fuck,” Eddie groaned, his hips twitched abortedly, clearly holding himself back from mindlessly fucking into Buck’s warm, wet heat. “Mierda, estás mojada,” Eddie bit out through gritted teeth.

Buck preened, soaking in the feeling of Eddie’s cock filling him up.

He knew Eddie got a little absent-minded with his Spanish when they were fucking. It was hot as hell, and Buck wondered how much of it was intentional, or a slip of the tongue, a sign that Buck felt so good Eddie couldn’t get his languages straight.

He also wondered if Eddie knew Buck was aware of everything he was saying, or if he’d forgotten he spent a summer in Peru, bartending to make money by day, and fucking through all the locals by night.

Buck was feeling a little incorrigible, so he figured now was as good a time as any to reveal his hand.

He dragged his mouth up Eddie’s neck until his lips rested right by the shell of Eddie’s ear. “Cógeme,” He panted hotly. Eddie went stock still underneath him. Buck grinned, not hiding it at all as he continued. “Cógeme duro, Papi.”

Eddie reared his head back, staring at Buck slack-jawed. “Now, where’d you learn that? Have you been holding out on me?”

Buck swiveled his hips, effectively bouncing on Eddie’s cock as he gave him his best shit-eating grin. “I bartended in Peru for a summer, tonto,” He said playfully. “Remember? I picked up a few things.”

Eddie grabbed Buck’s hips, slamming him down onto the bed on his back. The movement rammed his dick even further into Buck as he hovered over him, making the Omega whine and see stars.

“Yeah?” Eddie growled, his eyes black. A few strands of hair had come loose and hung over his forehead. He fucked into Buck, trapping him in by balancing on his elbows on either side of Buck’s head. “What else did you pick up?”

Buck looked up at Eddie from under his lashes, going for the jugular, “Joder mi chucha, Papi.”

Buck felt Eddie’s cock twitch inside of him. “Jesus, fuck,” Eddie grunted, sounding like the words were punched out of him. “You’ve got a mouth on you.”

“Joder mi boca, Papi,” Buck all about purred.

Eddie fisted his hand in Buck’s hair, yanking his head back so he could bite at Buck’s scent gland. He fucked into Buck harshly, jostling the Omega’s entire body with each one of his thrusts. Buck moaned loudly in response.

“Keep calling me ‘Papi’ and see what happens,” Eddie threatened, spoken right into Buck’s throat, and his tone sent shivers up Buck’s spine.

God, he loved this. His favorite game was riling Eddie up. It was even more fun now that Eddie would fuck him about it. Buck wanted Eddie to fuck the brat out of him until he was nothing more than a pliant Omega, stuck on a knot, with the only words he knew being ‘Eds’ and ‘Alpha.’

Buck raked his nails up Eddie’s back, fucking himself on Eddie’s cock with each one of the Alpha’s strokes.

“Papi,” He said again, just to see what Eddie would do.

“Okay, that’s it,” Eddie growled. “Turn around.”

When Buck didn’t move, Eddie took it upon himself to pull out of Buck. He seized Buck by his hips and manhandled him into the position he wanted, on his front, and presenting. Buck’s cock twitched, and he spurted blobs of pre-cum as it rubbed against their sheets. His hole clenched around nothing, coating his thighs with even more slick.

“Fuck,” He whimpered at Eddie’s show of strength.

Eddie ran his hand possessively down Buck’s spine, coming to rest over his ass, where he grabbed a handful and parted his cheeks.

Eddie paused briefly, and uncertainty entered his tone for the first time. “Is this position okay for your bump?”

Buck melted. Leave it to Eddie to still be concerned and considerate in the middle of the dirtiest brat-taming of Buck’s life.

“Yeah, Eds,” Buck assured him. “Show me what you got.”

Buck was rewarded with a smack to his ass, right on the meat of his cheeks. It wasn’t hard, clearly nowhere near Eddie’s full force—just enough to playfully sting.

“Fuck!” Buck shouted, pressing his ass back into Eddie’s hand, begging for more.

He could hear Eddie’s smirk when he said, “Yeah, I had a feeling you’d like that.”

He smacked Buck’s ass again, and holy shit, this was opening a lot of doors for Buck. He almost mourned the fact that he was pregnant because he was nearly shaking with the sudden desire to be bent over Eddie’s lap and spanked raw—until his lower half was one big bruise.

He could always tuck that fantasy away for later, though.

“If you’re gonna act like a furcia,” Eddie crooned, his voice dripping with sin. “Then I guess I gotta fuck you like one.”

Heat coiled in Buck’s gut, and he moaned brokenly.

Eddie tsked, sliding back into him in one easy glide. “Got you knocked up and you still wanna act like a whore.”

Eddie drilled into Buck, setting a pistoning fast pace that had Buck gripping onto the sheets to keep himself in place.

High-pitched whines fell out of his mouth as Eddie fucked him within an inch of his life. It was addicting, spine-melting, and he never wanted Eddie to stop.

“Anúdame, Alpha,” Buck sobbed, his hole clenching around Eddie’s cock.

He wasn’t far off from coming, what with Eddie’s brutal pace that dragged over his prostate, and his cock rubbing all over the mattress beneath him.

“If you’re still talking,” Eddie grunted, “Then I’m not doing my job.”

The following sounds Buck made were breathless “ah, ah, ahs,” as Eddie lifted his hips and fucked into him somehow deeper, burying himself to the hilt with every thrust.

Buck was falling apart at the seams, held together only in the places he and Eddie were tethered.

“Eds,” Buck slurred, feeling his orgasm approaching.

“Almost there, baby,” Eddie told him through gritted teeth, leaning down to plaster himself against Buck’s back. He nipped at Buck’s neck as he knot began to grow, swelling inside of Buck’s slick hole.

Within a few thrusts, Eddie’s knot popped, locking him into place. The Alpha’s hips came to a stuttered stop, as Buck clenched tightly around him. Buck threw his head back, coming with a loud crackling moan as Eddie’s come gushed inside of him.

Buck would never get enough of Eddie knotting him. He was complete and full in a way that compared to nothing else he’d ever felt in his life. Having Eddie locked inside of him made his skin suddenly fit right over his bones, like he’d been waiting for this his entire existence and hadn’t known.

Every one of Buck’s limbs were reduced to jelly, and sparks filled his veins as his orgasm kept going. He smothered his face into the sheets beneath him, drool sliding out of his mouth and wetting the mattress.

Eddie plastered himself to Buck’s back, practically collapsing on top of him. He smothered the nape of Buck’s neck with sloppy kisses, his cock spurting come inside of Buck every couple of seconds, prolonging each one of their orgasms.

“You did so good, baby. Mi sol. Love you,” Eddie murmured, his words mostly slurred, still half-drunk from his orgasm.

Buck reached blindly behind him, petting Eddie’s hair awkwardly, needing to touch, even if their bodies were already in a tangled heap.

“We need’ta move,” Buck said blearily, turning his head to the side so Eddie could hear him.

Eddie grunted, smearing a kiss onto Buck’s shoulder before he grabbed his hips, securing him so they wouldn’t jostle his knot in the process, and flipped them so they were lying on their sides.

Eddie put his leg over Buck’s hip, and Buck snuggled deeper into Eddie’s embrace, letting the Alpha smush his face into his neck. Eddie laid out his left arm to be used as a pillow for Buck’s head, and Buck snatched the wrist of his right hand, placing it over his bump.

Buck purred contentedly, smiling.

“Happy?” Eddie breathed into his neck.

“The happiest,” Buck confirmed. “You’re a really good pillow.”

Eddie laughed into Buck’s neck, making him shiver. “I’ll be your pillow any time, baby.”

“Okay, smooth talker,” Buck teased.

“I don’t think I was the smooth talker,” Eddie replied, nipping his teeth near his scent gland. “Pecada.”

“I’ll have to brush up on my Spanish if it gets you going this much,” Buck said mischievously.

“That’s a lethal weapon,” Eddie said, and Buck laughed, guiding Eddie’s face out of his neck so he could kiss him.

“Love you,” He whispered into Eddie’s mouth after breaking the kiss.

“How you feeling?” Eddie prompted softly. “Wasn’t too much?”

“Nah,” Buck said easily. “I liked it.”

“‘Cause you know I don’t really think you have to stay home and have dinner ready for me or anything,” Eddie said, and Buck hummed.

“I know,” He said, rolling his eyes. “It was hot, though. I like when you talk like that when you’re fucking me. Maybe I wanna be your little housewife,” Buck said, only half-joking.

He felt Eddie’s cock pulse inside of him as Eddie groaned. “Cut it out or we’re gonna be here for a while.”

“Oh no,” Buck said, mock-affronted. “Hung on your knot, my least favorite place to be.”

“Brat,” Eddie said fondly.

“Mhm, love you, too,” Buck said, getting a little thrill out of being able to say those words so freely.

Eddie grumbled something into his neck that Buck couldn’t make out. It was fine. He was happy, and floaty, and sated in Eddie’s arms, relishing each puff of air he felt him expel onto his neck.

Eddie was beautiful, and he was in love.

He thought distantly of the version of himself that had been in Peru. The younger him who had been so desperate for any crumb of love or affection. The him who had learned dirty Spanish on the side from his fellow bartenders in the hopes of luring people into bed with him so he could feel cared for and attended to, even if it was just for the night.

He’d been lonely, and unbeknownst to him, on the other side of the world, there had been Eddie, who was lonely in his own way, too.

He had been caught up in a war all for the sake of proving himself to people who would never deem him worthy, no matter how many bullets he took.

They’d gotten there in the end, but he couldn’t help but feel wistful for that younger Eddie—the one who was terrified of being a father and had needed love just as badly as him.

It had almost been impossible to dream of a life like this for himself one day. Back then, he surely wouldn’t have seen himself deserving of a home as warm as theirs, a career he was passionate about, a kid as wonderful as Christopher, or an Alpha as perfect for him as Eddie, with new lives blooming on the horizon.

Somehow, through all the tumult and messiness, they had found their way to each other, and Buck wouldn’t trade an ounce of pain if it ended with him right where he was.

Buck leaned into the kisses Eddie trailed up his neck, basking in the easy affection Eddie doled out. He yawned unexpectedly, causing the Alpha to chuckle.

“Getting sleepy, sweetheart?” Eddie asked quietly before kissing over his pulse point.

“Yeah,” Buck mumbled, his eyes slipping closed.

“Go to sleep. I’m not going anywhere,” Eddie promised.

Buck didn’t have to wonder if Eddie would keep his word; he knew for certain, deep in his bones, that he would be.

—

A little later, once Buck had woken up from his nap, Eddie’s knot had deflated enough to slip out of him, and they both had showered, they found themselves in bed, with more time to kill before they had to pick Christopher up from school.

“I’m gonna call a few people, do the rounds, you know, tell them about the girls,” Buck told Eddie, and Eddie nodded.

Currently, Buck was sitting up, with Eddie curled around him, his chest pressed against Buck’s back. His legs were on either side of Buck’s hips, with both of his hands resting on Buck’s bump. He seemed to like this position, caging in Buck entirely with his body, and Buck wasn’t complaining. He liked Eddie wrapped around him like this, too.

He decided to call Tia Pepa first, mentally pinky swearing to call Maddie immediately after. He’d get to Athena and May after that, steadfast in the knowledge that they’d tell Bobby and Ravi, respectively, right away.

“Evancito!” Pepa answered the call delightedly. “How are you? Is everything alright?”

“Everything’s great, Pepa. How are you?” Buck asked politely, while Eddie snickered into his shoulder, mumbling “suck up” under his breath.

“Calling to check up on me. What a dulce niño,” Pepa said affectionately. “I’m about to head out to have lunch with some girlfriends, though you know I always love to chat with you, cariño.”

“Well, I’m glad to have caught you. Eddie and I had some news we wanted to share with you.”

“Oh?” Pepa said, sounding expectant and entirely invested.

“I swear she likes you more than me,” Eddie whispered by his ear, and Buck swatted at his thigh.

“We went for an ultrasound earlier and we found out something exciting about the gemelos,” Buck said, rolling his eyes at Eddie’s surprised gaze. “Or well, I guess I should say gemelas,” Buck said with emphasis.

“Ay!” Pepa exclaimed. “Girls?”

Buck beamed. “Yeah, Pepa, we’re having girls.”

“Oh my,” Pepa gasped. “Dos princesas! Oh, Evancito, that’s wonderful.”

“We’re very excited,” Buck said, positively gooey from Pepa’s praise. “I was hoping to share the news with Isabel. Do you know when the best time would be to call her?”

“I’m sure she’ll be around tonight,” Pepa informed him. “You’ll have to tell her to sit down beforehand or she might fall over with excitement.”

“We’ll warn her,” Eddie said, making his presence on the call known.

“Oh, he speaks,” Pepa said. “You know, you could take the lead from tu amado every once in a while and give your poor old Tia a call.”

Now it was Buck’s turn to snicker. “I’ll make sure he calls,” Buck swore, and Eddie kissed his temple, only a centimeter away from his birthmark.

“I’ve got to go,” Pepa said in a rush. “But this is such a blessing. We’ll have to have dinner again sometime, if you’re feeling up to it, Evancito.”

“I’d love that,” Buck said immediately. “I’ll invite my sister, Maddie, and make it a whole family affair.”

“That sounds perfect,” Pepa agreed. “Take care of tu joya, Eddito,” She finished sternly, directing her words at Eddie.

“I will, Tia,” Eddie assured her. “Have fun at lunch.”

“I will,” Pepa said gleefully, and Buck had no doubt that her girlfriends were in for an entire lunch hour of chisme about the lovely twin nieces she was expecting. “Tell the princesas I love them, and tell Christopher he should call me every now and again, too.”

“I’m on it,” Buck confirmed before Pepa ended the call.

“You’ve completely charmed her,” Eddie said once the call was completely disconnected. “It drives me crazy. Whenever her and Abuela get together, I hear more about you than anyone else. You’ve got them wrapped around your finger.”

“I don’t know about that,” Buck said, his face heating with a blush.

Eddie took on a tone meant to mimic Abuela, “Oh, Eddito, how’s Evancito? Que angelito. Are you feeding him enough? El es tan precioso.”

Buck’s blush deepened. “They’re sweet ladies.”

Eddie kissed his temple again, then by his ear. “I swear if I ever let you go, they’ll come over just to beat me with a stick.”

Buck shifted to catch his lips in a proper kiss. “Well, I guess you better never let me go then, huh?”

Eddie rubbed his thumb soothingly over Buck’s bump. “You’re mine now, baby. Definitely not letting you go.”

“Are you gonna let me call Maddie or are you gonna keep saying sweet stuff, getting me all riled up?” Buck goaded, arching his brow.

“As if having my tia and Abuela fawning over you doesn’t get me all riled up,” Eddie huffed.

Buck shrugged, grinning crookedly. “What can I say? I’m affable.”

“You’re something alright,” Eddie muttered darkly. “Go on, call Maddie.”

Buck called Maddie, and she didn’t initially pick up.

“She’ll call me back,” He said with certainty. He knew she was off, and was probably not looking at her phone due to being busy with Jee. “Let’s move on to May.”

“The narc,” Eddie quipped.

Buck poked Eddie in the ribs. “Shut up. It’s cute that you like Shakespeare. It’s romantic.”

“Whatever,” Eddie mumbled, though Buck didn’t miss the faint blush forming on the apples of his cheeks.

Buck hit May’s contact on his phone, fully prepared for her to not answer as well when it rang out for a while. Seemingly on the last ring, Ravi’s voice answered. “Hello?”

“Uhh, hey Ravi,” Buck said, while he and Eddie shared an amused glance at each other. “It’s Buck.”

“Oh, hey, Buck,” Ravi said awkwardly.

“So uh, why are you answering May’s phone?” Buck asked.

“She got up to grab something from the kitchen and said to answer it if it was anyone other than her mom.” He paused. “Do not tell Athena I said that.”

Eddie snorted.

“I wouldn’t dream of it,” Buck said, doing his best to hide his urge to laugh.

“Is she coming back? We wanted to tell her something about the twins,” Eddie said, and mouthed ‘what the fuck’ to Buck.

‘I told you they were dating,’ Buck mouthed back.

“Hey, M? It’s Buck and Eddie, they said they wanted to tell you something about the twins.” They heard Ravi’s voice yell distantly, pulled away from the phone.

‘M?’ Eddie mouthed, wrinkling his nose, which forced Buck to cover his mouth to conceal his laughter.

“Buck? What’s up?” May’s voice finally appeared, having taken the phone from Ravi.

“Hey, I was just calling to tell you I had the sixteen-week ultrasound this morning,” Buck said, knocking his shoulder against Eddie—whose own shoulders were currently shaking as he hid his laughter into Buck’s neck.

“Oh my God!” May screeched. “Tell me, tell me, tell me! Am I having nieces or nephews?”

“You’re gonna have two nieces,” Buck said, smiling brightly at her enthusiasm.

“Yes! Fuck, Rav, we gotta go to the store,” May crowed.

“Why do you have to go to the store?” Buck questioned, furrowing his brows.

“I gotta get yarn,” May said, not explaining herself in the slightest.

“She’s been learning how to knit,” Ravi chimed in helpfully.

“Yeah, and I gotta get yarn so I can get started on the two adorable pink cardigans I’m going to make for your girls. They’re gonna be precious,” May gushed.

“Okay, that’s pretty cute,” Buck admitted. “I’ll let you get on with that then. I just wanted to let you know.”

“Nieces!” May crowed. “God, Buckley, this just made my year. Alright, we better go. Bye! I love you!”

“Love you, too, sis,” Buck said, deeply amused as he ended the call.

The minute May was off the phone, Eddie was giggling again. “M!” He choked out through his giggles.

“It’s young love,” Buck defended. Although, he kind of wanted to giggle, too. “God, Bobby’s going to kill him.”

“If Athena doesn’t get to him first,” Eddie said, sounding entirely too jovial at the prospect of an inner-circle homicide.

“I wouldn’t get too cocky, you were on their list a month ago,” Buck pointed out, and that sobered Eddie up pretty quickly.

They didn’t have long to dwell on that, because Buck’s phone started ringing with an incoming call from Maddie.

“Told you she’d call me back,” Buck said triumphantly, answering the call. “Hey, Mads.”

“Hey, sorry. I was trying to wrangle Jee down for her nap, and she was fighting me tooth and nail about it,” Maddie answered, sounding appropriately haggard.

“No problem. We had some news, but it’s not a big deal or anything,” Buck said, falsely casual.

“Okay,” Maddie said slowly, suspicion lacing her tone.

“Hey, Maddie,” Eddie said cheerily.

“Hey, Eddie,” She said back, now sounding even more suspicious. She paused. “If you two went to the courthouse and got married or something and didn’t tell anyone, I hope you know I’m going to kill you.”

Buck squawked. “No! We didn’t get married— Maddie!”

“Just checking,” Maddie replied, far too smug than she had any right to be.

“Don’t worry,” Eddie said nonchalantly. “Everyone will be invited when we get married.”

Buck whipped his head around to stare at Eddie with wide eyes. “When we get married, huh?”

Eddie had the audacity to shrug, smiling shyly at Buck, like he hadn’t just dropped the bombshell of the century.

Buck hit the mute button on his phone. “We will be talking about that later, Edmundo, you psycho,” Buck hissed, flustered and off-kilter. Butterflies erupted in his stomach.

Married.

Eddie wanted to get married.

Eddie wanted to marry him.

When we get married. When we get married. When we get married.

“We had some news we wanted to share,” Buck squeaked out after unmuting himself.

“What news?” Maddie prodded patiently.

“You’re gonna have two nieces,” Eddie told her, since Buck’s brain wasn’t fully back online.

“Are you serious?” Maddie blurted out. She sniffled, her next words coming out wet and emotional. “Oh, Buck, honey, that’s amazing.”

“Yeah, I’m—” Buck found himself getting choked up. Maddie and him really made a pair. Whenever she cried, it was a knee-jerk reaction for him to cry as well, and vice versa. They were the weepy Buckleys. “I’m really happy, Mads.”

“We’re both really happy,” Eddie intoned, sneaking a kiss under Buck’s jaw. “Have you and Chim found out the gender for your baby yet?”

Maddie sniffled again, and Buck could imagine, clear as day, her wiping her eyes, trying to get her waterworks under control. “We decided to let it be a surprise this time, for a little bit of fun. We got so much pink stuff for Jee, we were looking forward to seeing what everyone came up with for gender neutral gifts.”

Buck laughed. “Apparently, May is already getting started on knitting two pink cardigans for the girls, so I think we might end up overrun with pink stuff, too.”

“Good luck,” Maddie joked. “It does not get better.”

“They could end up being tomboys,” Eddie reasoned.

Buck scoffed. “Keep dreaming. You’re gonna be attending tea parties for the next decade, at least.”

Eddie’s eyes turned a bit wistful and fond. “Yeah. Maybe we’ll have to let Jee run us through the basics.”

“Speaking of Jee,” Maddie sighed. “I think she’s currently organizing another revolt against her nap.”

“Good luck with that,” Buck said, and then just to be a little shit, he snarked. “Remember, it does not get better.”

“You suck,” Maddie quipped.

“You sucked first,” Buck shot back, an old refrain.

“Ha ha,” Maddie replied, and Buck could hear her eye roll from over the phone. “Time to go investigate the coup. I love you.”

“Love you, too, Mads. Bye!” Buck declared cheerily, ending the call.

He let his head fall to rest on Eddie’s shoulder. “Now we just have Bobby and Athena.”

“No pressure,” Eddie mumbled.

Buck patted Eddie’s cheek. “You’re kind of scared of Athena. It’s adorable.”

“You said not even ten minutes ago that I was on her kill list,” Eddie grumbled.

“Were on her kill list. Not anymore. At least, not if you don’t do something that would warrant your tia and abuela beating you with a stick,” Buck reminded him.

Eddie traced one of his fingers over Buck’s bump. “After Bobby and Athena, we do need to tell Chris.”

“Yeah, we do,” Buck agreed, swallowing down the nervousness that bubbled in his throat. “I was thinking maybe tomorrow? It’s a Saturday, so he won’t have school. Also, I figured we’d tell the whole crew on Monday when you came back to work.”

“Sounds good to me,” Eddie hummed. “What’re we thinking bribery-wise for Saturday? Are pancakes going to cut it again?”

“I’m pretty sure the twenty grand he won from betting on us was the real bribery and not the pancakes,” Buck huffed, even though he wasn’t really put out. He was overwhelmed with affection for Chris on a good day, never mind the fact that the kid had been gunning for him and Eddie to get together before either one of them had even realized they were in love with each other.

In hindsight, it was kind of obvious.

Eddie and Chris filled his every waking thought. He’d been mother-henning Chris since the second week he knew the kid. In some ways, Chris would always be his first baby. It didn’t matter to him whether or not he had carried him himself. Chris was his baby in every way that counted.

He just hoped Chris would be as accepting of the new additions to their family as he was of their relationship.

“You know, he used to ask me for a younger sibling all the time when he was little,” Eddie mused.

Buck blinked at him. “Really? Was that when…” Buck hesitated. “When Shannon was still around?”

“No, actually,” Eddie said, scrunching his lips in the cute way he always did when he was deep in thought. “It was after, in the in-between period. He stopped asking when I started dating Ana, and it never picked up again, even when I was with Marisol.”

“Well, I guess we better hope it wasn’t a phase he grew out of,” Buck said wryly. “Now, are we going to call Athena, or are you going to keep stalling?”

“We could keep stalling,” Eddie said, kissing behind Buck’s ear. “I like it when you’re bossy.”

“You like it when I breathe,” Buck said, rolling his eyes. Huh. Maybe Maddie is where he picked up his attitude.

“I am invested in you breathing, yes,” Eddie said, perfectly dry.

“We’re gonna rip off the band-aid,” Buck said decisively, pulling up Athena’s contact and hitting the call button before Eddie had the chance to argue.

Athena answered on the second ring.

“Hey, Buck,” Athena greeted, and from the tinny sound of her voice, Buck could tell she was in her squad car.

“Hey, Thena,” Buck said, sugary sweet.

“Oh, no, that’s your trouble voice. What have you gotten yourself into this time?”

“No trouble!” Buck insisted hastily. “Do I have to be in trouble to call you, Athena?”

“You’re always a little bit of trouble,” Eddie mumbled under his breath.

Athena made an unimpressed ‘hmmph’ sound.

Buck muted the call. “I’m gonna change your name in my phone to peanut gallery.”

“We all know my name in your phone is ‘Baby Daddy’ with six hearts and for some God knows what reason a fairy emoji,” Eddie said, also sounding unimpressed.

“Yeah, well, my name in your phone is ‘B’ with a red heart, like I’m some sort of mistress,” Buck fired back. He didn’t really mind. He liked that his contact got an emoji next to it—the only one in Eddie’s phone with an emoji. He was special like that.

“If I added a fairy emoji, would that make you feel better?” Eddie suggested.

Buck paused. He knew Eddie was making fun of him, but— “Yes, actually. It would.”

“I don’t know if you want me to answer that. What’s up, Buckaroo?” Athena pressed from over the phone.

Buck quickly unmuted himself. “Me and Eddie went to an ultrasound this morning and we found out the gender of the twins.”

“You and Eddie, huh?” Athena inquired.

“Hey, Athena,” Eddie said politely, sounding like an overly polite Catholic schoolboy awaiting lashes from a nun.

“Diaz,” Athena replied. “I heard you were back in town.” And okay, her voice was a bit frosty.

Eddie looked at Buck with wide, frightened eyes.

“Yeah, Chris and I are back home,” Eddie said uneasily. “To stay. For good.”

“Well, that’s good to hear,” Athena said sharply. “I assume my husband gave you your job back.”

“He did. He was very gracious,” Eddie said, audibly gulping.

Buck had to bite his lip to hold back his smile. His big, bad Alpha, sweating under a mild interrogation from Athena. It was so endearing that Buck wanted to kiss him senseless.

“He usually is,” Athena said dryly. “He likes to be the good cop.”

“Bobby’s great. He’s a great Captain,” Buck said, attempting to keep the peace. “Anyway, would you like to know if you’re having grandsons or granddaughters?” Buck continued, wanting to lighten the mood.

“Go ahead, baby,” Athena said, her voice softening, clearly directed at Buck.

“They’re girls!” Buck exclaimed. “Identical twin girls!”

“Lord, have mercy,” Athena said. “I can already tell Bobby’s gonna be wrapped around those little angels’ fingers.”

“I think everyone will,” Buck said happily, he knew he already was.

“Let’s hope for everyone’s sake they don’t get your baby blues, Buck, or they’ll never hear ‘no’ a day in their lives,” Athena quipped.

“They’ll be spoiled rotten,” Buck said, grinning.

“Oh, I’m sure. I’ll have to bring them around the station once they’re big enough to be carted out. There won’t be a first responder in the city who won’t lay down their lives for those little girls.” Athena smirked. “I’m happy for you, baby. Have you been feeling better?”

“Yeah!” Buck was quick to say. “I’ve been feeling a lot better. I think I’m finally over all that awful morning sickness,” He said, wanting to ease her worries.

“Well, I’m glad. Make sure you come and visit sometime, hmm? I wanna make sure they’re growing big and strong with my own two eyes,” Athena said.

“We were thinking of having Eddie’s Aunt, Maddie, Chim, and Jee over for dinner sometime. Why don’t you and Bobby join? We’ll even throw out an invitation to Hen and Karen, and make it a whole family affair.” Buck offered excitedly.

“I’d like that, baby,” Athena said. “Diaz?”

Eddie straightened, his shoulders going stiff. “Yeah?”

“You take care of my boy, you hear?” Athena said in a vaguely concealed threat.

“Yes, ma’am,” Eddie swore.

“Thanks for giving me a call, baby. I’ll talk to you soon?”

“‘Course, ‘Thena,” Buck said, his grin nearly splitting his face with its width.

“Love you, kiddo,” Athena said warmly.

“Love you, too!” Buck said brightly before the call ended.

“Well, that was terrifying,” Eddie said after a beat once the call was disconnected.

Buck turned around in Eddie’s arms to grab at his cheeks with both hands. “You’re scared of Athena,” He cooed. “That’s so cute.”

“Shut up,” Eddie said, wriggling out of Buck’s hold. “She could kill me in ways no one would ever find the body.”

Buck pecked his cheek, both of which were painted in an enchanting pink blush. “Guess you better be on your best behavior, Diaz.”

“Yeah, yeah,” Eddie snarked. He kissed Buck’s palm, so Buck knew he wasn’t really bothered. “She was right about one thing,” Eddie said seriously. “They’re gonna have everyone wrapped around their fingers.”

“Well, yeah,” Buck said airily. “They’re Buckleys, of course they will.”

Eddie’s laugh was bright and loud as it rang around the room.

—

“Hey, bud,” Buck said, knocking his fist gently against Chris’s door frame. He thought it was sweet that Chris kept his door open when he was hanging out in his room playing video games. It showed a level of comfort and trust that astounded Buck occasionally.

He would’ve never dared to keep his door open as a teenager with his parents in the house.

It’s not like it would have mattered if he had. He was sure his parents wouldn’t have given him any more attention if his door had been open.

But, still.

It was nice to hear the click of his fingers against his keyboard from the hallway, or the occasional chatter between him and his friends through multiplayer or Discord.

He was a good kid.

If the girls were half as good as Christopher, Buck would count himself lucky.

“Hey, Buck,” Christopher said, not taking his eyes off his game. When Buck lingered, he slipped his headphones askew, exposing one of his ears, and half-turned in his gaming chair. “What’s up? Did you need something?”

“Not if you’re busy,” Buck said, shrugging. “I just— kinda wanted to talk to you about something.”

Chris eyed him critically. There were a lot of things about him that reminded him of Eddie, and Buck loved that with every passing day, as his personality cemented itself, he became more and more like Eddie in Buck’s eyes. When he analyzed Buck in the way he just did, he reminded him of Eddie the most. The Diaz boys had a knack for reading him like a book.

“We can talk,” Chris said after a moment. “Give me a sec.” He righted his headphones and clicked rapidly at his computer. “Hey guys,” He said into his mic. “I’m logging off for a bit. Hit me up if you can’t make it past the next level.” He paused. “Nah, D, it’s the other one. Yeah, I’ll talk to you later.”

Buck waited patiently in the doorway as he put his PC into sleep mode, fully took off his headphones, and swiveled around in his chair to face him, giving him his full attention.

“If you’re busy, it’s okay,” Buck felt the need to say. “I don’t want to interrupt your time with your friends.” He grinned. “Was that Denny?”

Christopher rolled his eyes, but followed it up with the hint of his own smile. “Yeah, that was Denny. It’s fine, Buck. What’s up?”

Buck stepped fully into his room and sat on his bed. Chris had put up a few posters on the wall that he had accumulated at his grandparents, despite not being able to put them up in his room there, a point he had explained with a huff. Helena had went on and on about how they would take the paint off the walls when he wanted to remove them.

Buck couldn’t imagine ever being so pressed about something like that. They could always get new paint. Putting up posters in your room of your favorite bands or movies was like a rite of passage.

The base furniture was all the same, as Buck hadn’t changed a thing while they were gone, yet he couldn’t help but notice all the little changes. All of Chris’s dinosaurs from when he was small were packed up in a box, kicked to the back of his closet, and the space and star stickers on his yellow dresser had been peeled off and replaced with stickers of various skating brands.

It was solidly a teenager's room now, and not the little kid room he’d grown used to.

Chris was a teenager after all, and getting bigger every day.

Soon he’d have a girlfriend and be off to college.

It was making Buck a little wistful.

His stupid pregnancy hormones could also be to blame.

Which, speaking of, he’d come into Chris’s room with an agenda, not to get all weepy about him growing up on him too fast.

Eddie was currently out of the house. Maddie and Chim’s kitchen sink had a leak that Eddie swore he could fix. Buck figured he had a few hours with Christopher before they all got frustrated enough to call a plumber.

Eddie was handy around the house on occasion, however, he also had a penchant for thinking he could fix things he absolutely could not.

It was annoyingly cute, so Buck allowed him to dream.

(He also had a plumber and electrician on speed-dial in case Eddie got a bit too overzealous in the overestimation of his abilities.)

He and Eddie were planning to tell Chris about the twins tomorrow officially. While Buck felt a little bad about going behind Eddie’s back, he knew he should make space to have this conversation with Chris alone.

If there were any messy, complicated feelings, Buck wanted Christopher to feel like he could air them out without Eddie intervening or jumping in needlessly. As much as he hoped for Christopher to be over the moon about the twins, he also wanted to be realistic. Christopher deserved to have the opportunity to feel whichever way about it he did, and there was no wrong or right reaction in Buck’s opinion.

“So, you know me and your dad are together,” Buck started awkwardly, not exactly knowing the best way to get to what he wanted to say.

“Yeah…?” Chris said, scrunching his nose in confusion. Another Eddie-ism. This kid was going to kill him.

“Right. Well. There’s something else we haven’t told you,” Buck said cautiously. “We’re going to tell you together. Tomorrow, actually, but I… I wanted to talk to you about it before then. Just us. One-on-one. You might have a lot of emotions about it, and I wanted you to know that you can talk to me about it, and it’s okay if all your feelings aren’t positive. It’s a big thing and there’s going to be some big changes.”

Christopher raised one of his eyebrows, and Buck knew that one wasn’t an Eddie-ism, that was all him, and he did feel a little smug about it.

“I also need you to know that even though there’s going to be big changes, absolutely nothing about our relationship is going to change. Me and your dad love you. I love you, Chris, and nothing will ever usurp that.”

“You’re being really cryptic,” Chris said flatly.

“Yeah,” Buck admitted nervously. “I guess I kind of am.”

“Are you and Dad getting married?” Chris blurted out.

Buck choked. “What?”

“‘Cause like, it’s cool if you are. You have my blessing or whatever. Just don't make me the ring bearer or something, that’d be dumb. I’m too old for that,” Chris said nonchalantly.

“We’re not getting married!” Buck exclaimed in a rush.

Chris frowned. “You’re not?”

“I mean—” Buck stammered. “Eventually, probably. Down the line, yes. I don’t wanna be with anyone other than your dad ever again. But, no, that’s not what I was going to talk to you about.”

“Oh,” Chris said, and Buck would say he almost sounded disappointed.

Buck narrowed his eyes at him. “Are you and my sister in cahoots? Are you involved in another betting scheme?”

“I plead the fifth,” Christopher replied shiftily.

Buck shook his head. “If your dad asks, I’m going to pretend like I didn’t know a thing. I’m going to need to plead the fifth.”

“Wait, so, if you and dad aren’t getting married, what’s the big change? I know you’re going to be living with us. You already were here all the time, that’s not like that big of a change,” Chris said, now looking at Buck worriedly. Within seconds, something passed over his face, and his eyes went big and round. “Buck, you’re not sick, are you?”

“No, buddy, I’m not sick,” Buck said gently, not wanting him to think otherwise.

“I heard you throwing up when we were visiting, and you kept wearing your scent patches outside of work, which was weird,” Christopher continued, sounding alarmed.

“Jeez, you and your dad make a pair,” Buck muttered. “Chris, I’m not sick. I promise, buddy.”

“Okay, then what?” Chris said, waving his hands in the way he always did when he got impatient.

Buck sucked in breath. It was now or never. “Me and your dad are going to have a baby,” He said, then, just to be clear, “I’m pregnant.”

“Shit,” Chris breathed, seemingly stunned. Buck didn’t have the heart to reprimand him for cursing. If any situation warranted a pass, it was definitely this one. “Seriously?”

Buck smiled tentatively, trying his best to gauge his reaction. “You’re gonna be a big brother, Chris.”

“Oh my God,” Chris whispered.

Buck waited a beat. “And, how are we feeling about that?”

“No, I just, I can’t believe Dad got another person pregnant before marrying them,” Chris said, which drew a surprised barking laugh out of Buck. “I’m not kidding!” Chris cried. “Did you guys even have a health class when you were in high school? Am I going to have to give him the ‘talk’?”

Buck couldn’t contain his laughter at this point, and was nearly hunched over from the force of it. “I think your dad would jump out a window before you could get through giving him the talk,” Buck managed to get out in between choked giggles.

“It’s a burden being the only responsible one in this house,” Chris said dryly.

“Thank God one of us is,” Buck said, still laughing.

Chris furrowed his brows in a way that Buck did not like.

He hoped he wasn’t doing the math.

“How do you even know you’re pregnant, though? You and Dad have only been together for like, three weeks?” Chris asked.

Fuck. He was doing the math.

And evidently he wasn’t done. “And you weren’t together when we were in Texas. He was so sad, Buck. It was, like, hard to watch.”

Buck blinked. He knew, logically, from some of their FaceTimes and from a few things Eddie had said in passing, that he hadn’t been happy in Texas. It was one thing to hear that and another thing to have Chris say it so bluntly, like it was an obvious fact, like Eddie wasn’t miserable merely because he was in Texas, but because he was missing him.

“We weren’t together when you and your dad were in Texas,” Buck said, and he sighed. He could see that honesty was going to be his only way out of this line of questioning.

“How pregnant are you?” Chris demanded, and Buck winced.

“Sixteen weeks.”

Chris’s jaw dropped. “But that’s— Buck, that’s like four months.”

“Four times four is sixteen, yes, good job, bud. I see you’ve been keeping up with your times tables. All my hard work wasn’t for nothing,” Buck attempted to joke.

“I don’t get it. How are you four months pregnant if you and Dad have only been together for like three weeks?” Chris asked, wrinkling his nose again.

“It’s complicated,” Buck settled on saying.

“Buck. I’m fourteen. I know you don’t get pregnant from being really good friends,” Chris said snarkily.

“I know how old you are.” Buck snarked back. “It makes me want to cry every day. If my penny wishes ever came true, you’d be seven forever.”

“Wait,” Chris said.

Oh no, Buck could tell he was doing mental math again.

“If you’re four months pregnant, that means you were pregnant the whole time Dad was in Texas.” Now, Chris looked visibly upset. “Dad got you pregnant and left you?”

“It wasn’t like that,” Buck said quickly. He would defend Eddie with his life wherever Christopher was concerned. The last thing he needed was him mad at his dad all over again. Plus, what he was imagining wasn’t even the truth. “He didn’t know. I didn’t even know for a while. Your dad didn’t find out until I told him when you guys were visiting.”

“You’re not like—” Christopher started, looking suddenly devastated. “You’re not together just because Dad got you pregnant, are you?”

“No,” Buck said, and he surprised even himself with his conviction. Despite that being an insecurity of his for a while, he knew without a shadow of a doubt that it wasn’t the case. Eddie loved him, and he’d made it known these last couple of weeks. “Your dad and I are together because we love each other. This just also sort of happened.”

Christopher appeared to mull over his words. Eventually, he nodded, evidently satisfied.

“I can’t believe you and Dad are having a baby. I wish you would’ve gotten together sooner. Now, when I babysit them, people are going to think I’m a teen dad.” Chris said.

Jesus. This kid.

“Hey, your Dad was a teen dad,” Buck defended. Though, it was a little strange. It was hard to wrap his head around sometimes that Eddie was only a few years older than Christopher was now when he became a dad. He couldn’t fathom Chris, his baby Chris, being someone’s dad right now.

“Still,” Chris carried on. “You and Dad, having a baby. That’s wild.”

“About that,” Buck said hesitantly. “It’s actually two babies. It’s twins.”

Chris’s eyes widened. “Buck, you’re gonna get huge.”

Buck rolled his eyes. “Thanks for the reminder, bud.” Buck inched himself further onto the bed so he could rest his back against the wall. Sitting in the hunched-over position he had been was beginning to twinge his back.

Christopher eyed him warily. “Oh man, do you like, need to lie down or something? Because you’re pregnant?”

“Yeah,” Buck admitted sheepishly. “Sorry, my back’s kind of hurting.”

“Well, lay down,” Christopher said, and he immediately began to fret over him. “Get in my bed, c’mon.”

Buck chuckled, but did as he was commanded. He adjusted himself so that he was horizontal, his back pressed along the wall. As soon as he was properly lying down, he sighed in relief. The pain in his back eased now that the pressure was off of it.

“Can I…?” Chris trailed off abortedly. “Can I hug you?”

Buck grinned, his heart full. He opened his arms. “Get in here, kiddo.”

Chris clamored onto the bed, all elbows and knees and gangly limbs. He tucked himself into Buck’s side. He wasn’t as cuddly compared to when he was small, and Buck ached for the time when he could cover Chris’s entire body easily, when he would smile crookedly up at him with missing teeth and a look of poorly contained awe.

Buck rubbed up and down his back over his t-shirt with one hand, brushing his unruly curls out of his face with his other. “I really missed you, bud,” Buck said quietly.

Chris blew out a breath. “I really missed you, too.” The room quieted, and all Buck could hear was the sound of them breathing. Then— “I’m sorry I ran away.”

Buck took his time with his response, making sure it was even and measured when he said, “It’s okay, Chris. I get it. You were feeling a lot of big things and needed to get away. I’m not mad. I was never mad at you.”

“Me and Dad have talked about it a lot,” Chris said, his voice small. “At the time I was hurt, you know? And I wanted Dad to hurt, too. I wanted to hurt him as much as he hurt me.” Buck nodded. He had guessed as much, though it was nice to hear Chris express his feelings and to know that he had worked it all out for himself. “I didn’t think about how, in hurting Dad, I was going to be hurting you, too.”

Buck cradled him a little tighter. “I’m an adult. You’re a kid. I can take it.”

“I don’t like hurting you,” Chris confessed.

“I know you don’t, because you’re a sweet kid. Sometimes when we feel big things, we lash out and hurt each other. What’s important is what we do after the hurt. You’ve talked it out with your dad, and you’ve apologized. I’m really proud of you,” Buck told him honestly, continuing to brush his fingers through his hair.

“You smell different,” Chris grumbled.

Buck snorted. He hoped and prayed that Chris would never one day lose his bluntness. “Yeah, the babies will do that.”

“You kinda smell like Dad now. Gross.” Chris said, sounding appropriately petulant.

“Gonna smell like this for a while. Nothing we can do about it,” Buck said, following it up with something he designed to get a laugh. “I’m afraid it’s terminal.”

Chris huffed out a small laugh, and Buck smiled. There he was.

They laid in silence for a while. Buck continued to rub his back and card his fingers through his hair, similar to what he would do on the nights he’d sleep on the couch and wake up to Chris having a nightmare. He hummed off-key the theme song to one of the cartoons Chris had been obsessed with when he still wore feety-pajamas to bed and would barter and bargain three bedtime stories out of Buck instead of the agreed-upon two.

“I know you love me,” Chris started tentatively.

“That’s good,” Buck murmured. “Because I do.”

“Do you think…” Chris’s voice petered out, and he wriggled even closer into Buck’s frame, nearly getting Buck in the ribs with his pointy elbow.

“Do I think, what?” Buck prodded gently. “Now’s the time for the messy, complicated feelings. I meant it. It’s okay.”

Christopher’s voice was no louder than a whisper when he said, “Do you think a part of you might love these new babies more, you know, because you’re their mom?”

Buck had been punched in the stomach once, when he’d been drunk at a frat party in college, before he crashed out and was forced to drop out. Christopher’s question made him feel like that, except a million times worse.

“Oh, honey, no,” Buck said, utterly heartbroken. “I’ll love all of you the same. Blood doesn’t matter to me. You matter to me. You’re my baby, Chris. You’ve always been my baby and always will be. I learned how to be a parent with you, bud. You’ll always be special to me.”

Chris sniffled, and fuck, if Chris was crying, Buck would no doubt start crying, too.

“Do you ever wish you were my mom?” Chris asked him, his words vulnerable and shaky.

Buck sucked in a sharp breath. Christ. Now his eyes were wet.

“Sometimes,” Buck admitted, choked up. “Yeah, sometimes I do. Only because you’re the greatest kid in the world, and I wish I could take more credit for that. I wish I could have held you as a baby. I bet you were the cutest baby.”

“I was,” Chris said, and Buck stuttered out a wet laugh. “Everyone loves a baby with those elastic band glasses.”

“Yeah, I know you were cute,” Buck said, kissing the top of his curls because he could get away with it. He wasn’t sure how many of these he had left before Christopher would grow out of them completely. “But your mom—” Buck paused. “I didn’t really know her. I only met her those few short times, but Chris, she loved you. Sometimes I’m glad I’m not your mom. There are still things I don’t like about myself, and I like knowing you’ll never get them. You’re this incredible kid, and you remind me so much of your dad.”

“Really?” Chris questioned, and he had the nerve to sound skeptical.

“Every day,” Buck confirmed. “When you roll your eyes, or sass me, that’s all your dad. You and your dad both wrinkle your nose the same way when you’re confused,” He poked at Chris’s nose, causing the teenager to bat his hands away, making him laugh. “You’re both brave, and kind, and sarcastic, and you both can’t look anyone in the eye when you have a secret,” Christopher grumbled at that one. “Both of your ears turn red when you’re embarrassed, and you both do that evil, adorable smirk thing whenever you’re excited about something.”

“Ugh,” Chris groaned. “That’s worse than the wiggle.”

“What?” Buck asked, perplexed. “What wiggle?”

“Dad said when we’re excited about something, we do a little wiggle.”

Buck’s brows flew up to his hairline. “I’ve never seen your dad wiggle.”

“No, not Dad, me and you. When we were still in Texas, he said that I reminded him of you, that we both wiggle when we’re excited to tell him something, and that I do the same face you do that makes him want to spill every secret he’s ever had.”

“Oh,” Buck said, his heart full and glowing bright. “See, kiddo, you got all the good stuff, no childbirth required.”

Christopher peeled his face from where it was buried against Buck’s shoulder to look at him. “Don’t tell Dad, okay? Because I think it would make him sad. But sometimes… sometimes I wish you were my mom.”

Buck was definitely crying now. Christopher had a way of yanking his heart right out of his chest. What was it that Bobby had told Eddie? That having a kid is like having your heart walking around outside your body? That’s how Christopher made him feel. He was the walking embodiment of Buck’s heart, plucked free from behind his ribs.

Buck rubbed up and down Chris’s spine. “I’m your mom in every way that matters. I don’t care if I carried you in my body. I carried you through that damn tsunami, and I think that was more work.” Chris snorted. “I can be your mom, if you want me to be.”

Chris sighed. “I guess I’m just a little jealous, because they’ll get to have you as their mom.”

Just when Buck thought his heart couldn’t get any more mangled, Chris managed to twist his fist.

“You’ll always be my first baby,” Buck told him, raw and honest. “And hey, you’ve got one thing on them.”

“What?”

Buck smiled. “Yeah, I’m their mom, but they’ll never be my best friend first. I’m your mom and your best friend.”

“My mom and my Buck,” Chris said, repeating the endearment Eddie and him would use when he was littler. “I kinda like that.”

“Were you serious about what you said the other week?” Buck questioned. It had been persistently niggling in the back of his head since Christopher had dropped that particular revelation. “About wanting me to adopt you?”

“I mean, yeah,” Chris said, in a tone suggesting Buck had gone and hit his head if he thought otherwise. “Only if you want to.”

“Of course I want to,” Buck replied immediately. “I’d love to have it on legal record that you’re my kid. But I don’t need a piece of paper to tell me that.”

“We should do it before the babies are born,” Christopher said decisively. “I don’t like them having legal ties to you before me. I was here first.”

Buck chuckled. “I see the sibling rivalry has already started.”

“There is no rivalry,” Christopher said cockily. “I win.”

Buck hummed. “Competitive and humble,” Buck said sarcastically. “Definitely not at all like your dad.”

Buck sneakily took in a huff of Christopher’s pleased scent, smiling into his hair. The traditional pup smell still lingered in his scent, and Buck wanted to take his fill before he grew out of it. Christopher’s scent was sweet, fresh, with a hint of cinnamon.

“You know,” Buck intoned. “You kinda smell like your dad, too.”

“Gross,” Chris groused. “You sound so in love when you talk about him. It’s disgusting. He’s Dad. He’s lame.”

“I hate to break it to you, kiddo, but your dad is pretty cool. And I am in love with him, so you better get used to it.” Buck said, enjoying it when Chris rolled his eyes.

“Yeah, yeah,” He grumbled.

And yep, he was a mini-Eddie, Buck didn’t care how much he protested it.

Christopher shifted in Buck’s arms. “Can I like… see your belly? If you’re four months pregnant, you gotta have a bump,” Christopher pointed out reasonably.

“Yeah, hold on,” Buck said, detangling their limbs so he could ruck up his hoodie and expose his bump. It wasn’t super big yet, however, Buck knew it was only a matter of time before it would get huge, like Christopher had so kindly pointed out.

“Huh,” Christopher said, staring at it. “Weird.”

Buck’s shoulders shook with laughter. “Okay, I’m gonna give you a tip. You’re lucky I love you so much. Never say ‘weird’ when looking at a pregnant person’s body, ever again. I mean it.”

“Not bad weird,” Chris argued. “Just, weird.”

“Whatever you say, man,” Buck replied.

“We should totally watch Alien. Like, that’s what’s happening to you right now. Dad wouldn’t let me watch it last summer, which was so stupid. He’d let me if we watched it together.” Chris said, and Buck was getting emotional whiplash.

Teenagers.

“Well, they’re definitely not aliens,” Buck said, shaking his head fondly. “Alright, how ‘bout this? If you put on an Oscar-worthy performance tomorrow of how shocked you are at the news, I’ll work on convincing your dad into letting us watch Alien. Deal?”

“Deal,” Chris responded, enthused.

Buck yawned, suddenly exhausted. Growing two humans and having an emotional conversation with his other son really took it out of him. Being all cuddled up in bed probably didn’t hurt either.

“You look tired,” Chris said bluntly.

“Yeah, these babies like to zap all my energy,” Buck agreed, yawning again. “Do you think Maddie and Chim have called a plumber by now?”

“Oh, for sure,” Chris said with certainty. “You should sleep.”

Buck closed his eyes. They were really heavy. “Wake me in five minutes. I don’t want to steal your bed.”

“Sure, Buck,” Christopher said, sounding deeply amused.

—

Buck woke up an indeterminate amount of time later. Though he was certain it was longer than five minutes, considering his mouth was dry and his eyes were gritty.

“Shh!” He heard Christopher hiss, right by his ear, thanks, so it wasn’t exactly effective. “Be quiet. He’s sleeping.”

“I’m up,” Buck said, his voice hoarse and crackly from his impromptu nap. He was groggy and disoriented, therefore, he refused to open his eyes. “Don’wanna move.”

He heard the sound of Eddie’s laugh, and it warmed him down to his toes. He held out his arms in the vague direction he heard Eddie’s voice come from.

“Now, why are you in Christopher’s bed?” Eddie said, sounding terribly fond.

“We were having best friend time,” Christopher snarked. “You weren’t invited.”

“Oh, well in that case,” Eddie snarked back.

His Diaz boys. God love ‘em.

“Am I gonna have to carry you?” Eddie asked, even though he was already in the process of scooping Buck into his arms.

“Sleepy,” Buck said, wrapping his arms around Eddie’s neck and pressing his face into the crook of it.

“Let’s get you to bed, baby,” Eddie said softly, hitching Buck’s legs around his waist to carry his weight with a grunt.

Christopher made an exaggerated gagging sound from his left.

“Enough out of you,” Eddie teased at Christopher.

“Please take him. Go and be gross in another room.” Christopher said, but Buck knew he was joking.

“Night, Chris. Have sweet candy-coated dreams for me,” Buck half-slurred as Eddie began to carry him out of Chris’s room.

“Night, Buck,” Chris replied, and Buck could hear in his voice that he was smiling.

“Best friend time, huh?” Eddie said once they had reached the hallway.

“Yeah. You weren’t invited,” Buck said into his neck. He felt the vibration of Eddie’s laugh as it escaped from his throat. Buck kissed over his pulse point. “Missed you.”

“Missed you, too, mi vida,” Eddie crooned, placing a fleeting kiss to his temple. He paused by the entrance of the bathroom. “Got enough energy to brush your teeth, or are you too tired?”

“Too tired,” Buck said, snuggling deeper into his embrace. Eddie smelled so good, he never wanted to leave his arms.

“Alright, but you’re gonna regret it in the morning,” Eddie said lightly, continuing his trek to their room.

“Did you guys call a plumber?” Buck asked.

“Yeah,” Eddie sighed after a minute.

“Knew it,” Buck said, laughing deliriously when Eddie squeezed his hip.

“Hey, I can fix things. I’m very handy.” Eddie defended.

“Mmm, yeah, very handy. Like it when you’re handy,” Buck said, mouthing at Eddie’s scent gland.

“I know you’re not trying to start something when you’re gonna fall asleep on me in two seconds flat,” Eddie deadpanned. “Don’t start something you can’t finish, baby,” Eddie said darkly, depositing Buck gently onto their bed.

Buck arched his back, sinking into the sheets with a satisfied chirp.

“I’m gonna go brush my teeth. I’ll be right back,” Eddie told him, pulling away from him completely.

“Love you,” Buck called out to him as he left the room.

“Love you, too, baby,” Eddie called back, and Buck beamed.

He was exhausted, but he resigned himself to staying awake at least until Eddie got back. With clumsy, sleep-laden fingers, he pulled down his sweatpants and kicked them off his feet. He usually liked to sleep in a hoodie, boxers, and socks. Though, he decided to slip out of his hoodie as well, knowing Eddie’s radiating body heat would keep him warm.

He waited patiently, listening for the sound of Eddie’s feet in the hallway signaling his return.

He didn’t have to wait long.

Eddie came shuffling back into the room, wearing only his boxers. His hair fell over his forehead, a chunk of it just barely covering one of his eyes, in the way it did when all the pesky gel he insisted on wearing had worn off for the day. Buck felt a swoop, deep in his belly.

He was so handsome, and all Buck’s.

Buck would never have to waste time ever buying scratch-offs; he’d already won the lottery with Eddie and Christopher, and the two babies growing in his stomach.

His stomach swooped again as Eddie climbed into bed. Buck furrowed his eyebrows. This time was different. It was like butterflies, yet wholly different, a persistent fluttering in the pit of his belly that didn’t let up, even when he was no longer looking at Eddie.

Buck’s hands went to his bump. There was a swishing sensation, followed by a rhythmic tapping.

Buck’s eyes widened dramatically. He was wide awake now.

“Oh my God,” He croaked out, snagging Eddie’s attention.

“What?” Eddie asked, alarmed and alert by his side. “What’s wrong?”

“Eds, I—” Buck cut himself off as the sensation stopped. He ran his hand along his stomach, and the tapping reared up again, faint, but unmistakable. Buck whipped his head to the side to look at Eddie. “They’re moving. I can feel them. They’re kicking.”

“Oh my God,” Eddie breathed. “Really?” His face broke out into a delighted grin, brighter than the sun. His pointy fang teeth that Buck adored were on full display.

Buck grabbed at his hand, placing it over his bump, right over where he felt the tapping. “Do you feel that?”

Eddie scrunched his brows in concentration, pursing his lips. “I gotta be honest. No. I don’t feel anything.”

“What!” Buck exclaimed. “It’s like a little tap, tap, tap. You seriously don’t feel it?”

“No,” Eddie said, his lips down turning into a devastated mixture of a frown and a pout.

Buck moved his hand to the other side of his belly, and the tapping followed his hand, picking up under his palm. “They kick wherever your hand goes, that’s crazy.”

“I don’t feel anything,” Eddie said, sounding gut-wrenchingly sad about it.

Buck laughed, and patted his cheek. “It’s okay, you still have five more months to feel them move. God, Eds, I can feel them. That’s insane.”

“I wanna feel them,” Eddie grumbled petulantly.

“We’ll get there,” Buck promised, leaning over to kiss the corner of his mouth. “Now, hands off, no belly time tonight. I think they’ll just keep kicking if your hand’s there, and I’d like to get some sleep.”

“That’s cruel and unusual punishment,” Eddie mumbled, though he dutifully laid back so Buck could crawl on top of him, wrapping his arms around his waist and snuggling his face into his collarbone.

“You can play with them later, I’m going to sleep,” Buck said, yawning into his shoulder.

Eddie’s hands came up to play with his hair, scritching at his scalp until Buck went boneless.

“Okay, baby, go to sleep.”

Chapter Text

────────────────────────────────────

SEVENTEEN WEEKS

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“You seem pretty calm about all this,” Eddie said suspiciously as Buck stirred pasta sauce on the stove. Dinner was basically ready—all he had to do was mix the sauce with the drained noodles that were resting in the other pan.

Buck shrugged, hiding his smile. “He’s a good kid. I think he’ll be fine with the news.” Buck started pouring the sauce into the other pan as Eddie hovered behind him. “Weren’t you the one who kept telling me that he used to bug you about having siblings ‘all the time?’” Buck pointed out.

“Used to being the important part,” Eddie sighed. “I just don’t know what the plan is if he does freak out about it. It’s not like we can ship them back.”

Buck put a hand over his bump. “Hear that?” He whispered conspiratorially. “Daddy wants to put you in a shipping crate.”

“Hey!” Eddie exclaimed. “That’s not what I said!”

Buck rolled his eyes. “Relax, they can’t even hear yet,” He said confidently, then faltered. “At least, I don’t think so? I need to do more reading.”

“Oh great, so you can keep me up at night with your lamp,” Eddie grumbled. He followed his statement by sidling up behind Buck’s back, slinking his arms around his waist to cradle his belly, so Buck didn’t feel especially slighted.

“You slept on the ground or in helicopters in Afghanistan for months, but somehow my lamp, when I want to read at night, disturbs your sleep too much. Got it,” Buck huffed playfully.

“Yeah, when I was twenty,” Eddie stressed. “It wouldn’t be so bad if you’d remember to turn it off before you fall asleep.”

“Pregnancy brain,” Buck mumbled.

“Nope. You cannot claim ‘pregnancy brain’ for something you did before I knocked you up. It drove me crazy during COVID, too,” Eddie fired back.

Buck huffed again, swatting Eddie’s hands away from his belly. “Well, if it bothers you that much, then you don’t have to sleep with me. You can go sleep on the couch, in the living room, where it’s perfectly dark.”

“That’s an empty threat,” Eddie said, though he sounded unsure.

Buck pointed the wooden spoon covered in sauce in his hands at him. “Do I look like I’m in the business of making empty threats?”

“I’m—” Eddie paused. “I’m not going to answer that.”

“Good,” Buck said darkly. “He’s learning.” He put the spoon back into the sauce and slumped. “Okay, come back. I miss you.”

Eddie, laughing and doing as he was told, wrapped his arms around Buck once more. He hooked his chin over his shoulder. “See, you’d miss your furnace.”

Buck hummed. “You do keep me warm. I guess I’ll keep you.”

Eddie snickered, kissing Buck’s shoulder over the fabric of his t-shirt. “Dinner looks good, sweetheart.”

“It’s done,” Buck said, turning his head to catch Eddie’s mouth in a full, proper kiss. “Can you go get Chris?”

“I’m on it,” Eddie said, stealing another quick kiss before he peeled himself away and disappeared down the hallway.

Buck busied himself by fixing their plates and setting them onto the table. He really hoped Chris had the performance of a lifetime nestled in his back pocket.

He doubted that Eddie would earnestly mind him having a private conversation with Christopher ahead of time. But, he didn’t want Eddie to feel robbed of this shared moment.

Chris came clattering in a few steps ahead of Eddie, his crutches clacking against the hardwood floor. Buck smiled at him, wiping his hands off on his sweats. He missed jeans, and felt a little slouchy constantly wearing sweatpants. That being said, all his jeans had become a lost cause. His bump was even too big now for the hair tie around the button trick.

“Oh, sweet,” Chris said, sitting down at the table in front of one of the plates. “You made Carbonara.” Without any preamble, he picked up the fork next to the plate and started wolfing it into his mouth.

“Whoa, kiddo, slow down. You’re gonna choke,” Eddie said, sitting across from him.

“I’m hungry,” Chris said around a mouthful of pasta. “I’m a growing boy.”

“How’s your homework going?” Buck asked. “I know I couldn’t be very helpful with the chemical equations. It’s been way too long since I was in a chemistry class.”

Chris swallowed another generous bite. “It’s okay, Denny got his mom to help, and I figured out the answers from him.”

“Oh, Hen helped you? That was kind of her,” Eddie said.

Chris gave him a flat look. “No. His other mom. You know, the one who’s a literal rocket scientist?” He deadpanned.

“Right,” Eddie said. “Yeah, no, that makes more sense.”

“I’m sorry you and Denny couldn’t be lab partners this year,” Buck said sympathetically.

Chris sighed. “It’s fine. I was in Texas. He had to find another one. We’ve already hatched a plan to be lab partners next year, so I guess I’ll live.”

Christopher finished his plate with record speed, and Eddie happily dug into the plate in front of him, seeming content with the quiet family conversation they’d fallen into.

Buck took a bite of his own plate of pasta and wrinkled his nose. He sat down his fork gingerly as his stomach flipped. Something about it tasted off. He glanced at Eddie and Chris, who appeared to have no issues with his dinner.

The pasta suddenly looked slimy and utterly disgusting to him.

It took a minute for Eddie to notice, but when he did, he frowned. “You’re not going to eat? What’s wrong?’ He asked softly.

“We’ll talk about it later,” Buck replied hastily.

“What are you two whispering about?” Christopher broke in.

Eddie looked back and forth between Chris and Buck. Buck nodded at him, as if to say, ‘well, it’s now or never.’

Eddie cleared his throat. “We do have some news we want to share with you, mijo.”

Chris straightened in his chair. “Oh?” He said inquisitively.

Buck gave him a sharp look, silently begging him to commit to the bit.

“I know when you were younger, you used to ask me about having a sibling, and I know it’s been a while since you asked for one,” Eddie said cautiously. “I was hoping that maybe you’d still be open to the idea.”

Chris put on an innocent face that even Buck had to admit was impressive. “Are you and Buck going to start trying for a baby?”

Eddie coughed. “Well, we’re not exactly going to be trying…” He trailed off.

Buck got impatient. There was a possibility they could be here all night with Eddie and Chris talking in circles.

“I’m pregnant,” Buck said, spitting it out. “With twins.”

Eddie peered over at him, startled. Buck shrugged, and took the lead from Christopher, blinking at him innocently.

“Are you cool with that?” Buck asked, facing Christopher.

“Yeah, that’s cool,” Christopher said, the picture of casual. “What’s for dinner tomorrow?”

“We work tomorrow, so I was planning on making some chicken and veggies that you could put in the oven after you get home from school. Sound good?” Buck replied, just as casually. He took pleasure in watching Eddie glance back and forth between them, his mouth slightly ajar.

“Yeah, I can work with that. Oh, and have fun at work. I’m sure you’re excited about having Dad back,” Christopher said, getting up from the table to put his plate in the sink.

“I’m very excited,” Buck confirmed.

“Wait, so you just— I mean, you don’t—” Eddie stumbled over his words. It was very cute. “You don’t have any questions?”

“It’s girls, by the way,” Buck chimed in, merely to get one real reaction out of Christopher.

“Oh, awesome,” Christopher breathed. For a second, Buck couldn’t tell if he was being sarcastic or not, then— “There are way too many dudes in this house. Plus, you both have sisters. I don’t want to be left out. I don’t think either of you would be good at giving advice about brothers.”

“The kid has a point,” Buck said to Eddie, who was still frozen, a tad shell-shocked.

“Oh, you know, I do have one question,” Christopher said dramatically, on his way out of the kitchen. “Are we going to be moving soon?”

Now it was Buck’s turn to look at Eddie, and Eddie matched his similar expression of alarm.

“Why would you say that, buddy?” Buck asked, furrowing his brows.

Christopher gave them both a face that was deeply unimpressed, like they were the two stupidest people he’d ever interacted with in his life, and Buck considered whether he had somehow learned it from Maddie.

“Umm, unless you’re planning on putting the twins up in the dining room, I think we’re gonna need a bigger house. I’m not sharing my room.” Christopher said blandly.

Buck jolted.

Oh my God. They were two of the stupidest people on the planet. They were only five months away from bringing two new humans home with them, and Buck hadn’t even given it a thought. They had no extra rooms in Eddie’s house.

Fuck. They were going to have to move.

“Fuck,” Eddie whispered, as soon as Chris had left the kitchen, wholly undisturbed by the bomb he’d dropped. “We’re gonna have to move.”

“I didn’t think about that either,” Buck hissed, burying his face in his hands. “I mean, we have maybe two or three extra months where they’ll be sleeping in our room and not the nursery. But, fuck, yeah, we need to find a new house.”

“It’s fine,” Eddie said when Buck removed his hands from his face. “We’ll just… we’ll find a new house. How hard could it be?”

—

So, it turned out the housing market in LA was utterly insane.

Who knew, right? It certainly wasn’t a well-documented phenomenon that spawned several different reality shows.

Buck stayed up that night on Zillow, scrolling through housing listings until his eyes were burning and his back ached.

“Baby, please,” Eddie said from Buck’s left, his arm slung over his eyes. “We’re not going to find the perfect house in one night. Please turn off the light. I’m so tired.”

“We have no time,” Buck muttered, slightly crazed. “And I’m only going to get bigger, and less mobile, and I won’t be able to help at all when we move. What if we have to put them in the dining room, Eds? Someone will call CPS. Fuck, Eddie, we’re mandated reporters. I’ll have to call CPS on ourselves!”

Eddie grabbed his iPad, forcing it out of his hands. He took it hostage, putting it face down on his nightstand so it was out of Buck’s reach. “Nobody is calling CPS. Buck, baby, sweetheart, light of my life. Please go to bed.”

“But Eddie—”

“Nope. Bedtime. We’re sleeping,” Eddie said, pawing at Buck until he slipped down from his sitting position to lie next to him. He flicked off the light, bathing the room in darkness.

Eddie made a small sound of relief.

Buck closed his eyes, resting his hands over his belly. Eddie was right. He should really go to sleep. They had work in a few hours, and they’d both be exhausted if he didn’t.

He sank into the mattress, attempting to get comfortable.

It was just.

Fuck, he was hungry.

No, scratch that, he was starving. He was actually pretty sure he’d never been this hungry in his life.

As he laid there, next to Eddie, who was already snoring softly, he started fantasizing about the food truck they liked to sneak away to before Christopher got out of school on days they had off. Their greasy tacos were heaven, and no matter how many times Buck had tried to recreate them, he could never get them right. Julio, the owner, knew them by name. Despite Buck doing his best to wriggle the recipe out of him, he insisted that he’d been sworn to secrecy, even if Buck was, in his words, “El gringo más lindo que jamás había visto.”

Eddie had not liked that, and had insisted they scope out other food trucks in the area, much to Buck’s chagrin. It only took a little bit of whining on his part about missing their spicy street corn to get Eddie to relent.

He wondered how delighted they’d be to see that he was now pregnant. Buck was willing to bet money that Julio only flirted with him to get a rise out of Eddie, considering Julio absolutely had a crush on Talia, who served all the drinks.

It had been the subject of chisme between Buck and Eddie for weeks every time they visited.

The more Buck thought about the taco truck, the more he was certain he was going to die from starvation in the next hour if he didn’t get some greasy, spicy Mexican food in his stomach.

It was dire.

He slipped out of bed as quietly as he could manage. Thank God he knew the food truck was open 24 hours, or he might literally start weeping.

It was that serious.

He had just finished putting on a pair of socks and wiggled himself into sweats that were Eddie’s, so they bunched up shortly around his ankles, fuck his long ass legs, when he heard Eddie shift on the bed.

“Where are you going?” Eddie asked, his voice slightly slurring from sleep.

Buck patted around their dresser blindly for his wallet. “Don’t worry about it, honey. Go back to sleep.”

“Buck, it’s two in the morning, where are you going?” Eddie demanded, and oh no, he was sitting up now. Buck’s stealth mission had been compromised.

“I’m hungry. I’m gonna get some food. It’s okay, go back to bed,” Buck admitted, attempting to placate him. “I’m gonna head over to the food truck on Pico, and then come right back. I won’t be long.”

“Fuck, you didn’t eat dinner,” Eddie said, sounding guilty, as if it was personally his fault that Buck was hungry. “Of course you’re starving.”

“I don’t think the girls like pasta very much,” Buck said mildly, cheering to himself when he finally found his wallet and tucked it into his pocket. “If I don’t get some of their street corn, I might die.”

Eddie rolled over to Buck’s side of the bed and turned on the lamp, looking sleep-rumpled, his eyes scrunched up like a disgruntled kitten.

“You just want to flirt with Julio,” He accused.

Buck rolled his eyes. “Yes, you caught me. I’m sneaking out at two in the morning to have a secret affair with the food truck man. Your detective skills astound me.”

Eddie scooted himself forward until he was at the edge of the bed, and began to tug himself into a pair of jeans that had been discarded on the floor.

Buck’s eyes widened. “What are you doing?”

“I’m getting you food,” Eddie said simply, searching around the floor for a shirt. “You’re staying here.”

“Baby,” Buck said, laughing. “You’re so tired. Go back to bed, seriously. I’ll be fine.”

“Nuh uh,” Eddie tsked. “I’m wide awake now.”

“I’m coming with you,” Buck bargained. “I wanna see what the specials are this week.” When Eddie shook his head, he decided to play a little dirty. He stepped over to where he was sitting on the bed, giving Eddie access to his bump, which Eddie easily took, seeming to act on autopilot. The Alpha put his hands on Buck’s hips, pressing a kiss to his bump, while Buck brought one of his hands up to tangle in Eddie’s hair. “You could show me off,” Buck hummed. “Bet Julio wouldn’t flirt with me anymore if he saw you were the one who put a baby in my belly.”

“Two babies,” Eddie corrected, and Buck grinned, knowing he’d got him.

“That’s right,” Buck purred. “Got me pupped up with two babies the first time you got your knot in me. ‘M yours.”

“Alright,” Eddie said, his resolve wavering. “But if you flirt with Julio or he flirts with you, I’m not responsible for my actions.”

“Mmkay,” Buck said happily, tossing a shirt from the floor in Eddie’s direction. He did a little mindless wiggle as Eddie finished getting dressed.

Huh. Maybe Eddie had had a point with Chris about his excited wiggle.

Since they were going out, Buck slipped out of his sleep hoodie and changed into Eddie’s old army t-shirt—one of his favorites—that was soft from use and countless washes. It was tight around his arms and chest, and due to Eddie being so lanky when he initially got it, even though he was in the process of bulking up from army training. The shirt rode up around his small, but still noticeable, baby bump, the lower half of said bump exposed from overtop the rolled-down waistband of his sweats.

Eddie’s eyes trailed over his bump as they locked up the house, his eyes getting dark as Buck turned, revealing the ‘Diaz’ emblazoned on the shirt across his back.

Buck hummed along to the radio the entire drive, rubbing his belly. At every red light, Eddie took his time to look at him, clearly getting in his fill.

“Stop looking at me like that,” Buck said as they waited at the last stoplight to turn into the food truck.

“Like what?” Eddie said, licking his lips.

Buck was sure his cheeks were as red as the stoplight they were idled at. “Like you want to eat me alive.”

Eddie leaned over the console to pull him into a biting kiss that was far too short. “Maybe I do,” He said, raking his eyes up and down Buck’s frame. “Maybe I wanna knot you in the backseat so you’re dripping my come when you go up to order your food.”

Buck’s mouth dropped open, and he had to press his legs together to stop himself from slicking up.

“Eds,” He squeaked. “The light’s green.”

Fuck, Buck should have never unleashed Eddie’s clearly latent sexuality. He was going to kill him. Who knew quiet, reserved Eddie Diaz was a fucking demon when it came to dirty talk?

Eddie hummed, rolling through the light and making the last turn that led to their destination. He parked them a little ways away from the other cars in the lot, and the lights from the food truck casted everything in a hazy, colorful glow.

Buck knew Eddie had parked them in this spot because he was banking on a frantic make-out session. Buck, however, had other ideas.

His food could wait.

As soon as the car was parked, Buck bent over the console to kiss him. When Eddie’s tongue licked into his mouth, deepening the kiss, he pulled away.

Eddie’s brows scrunched together in confusion, his nose wrinkling. Buck only grinned at him impishly. He trailed his mouth in a hot line across his cheek and jaw until it was resting by his ear.

“Don’t pop your knot,” He whispered breathily. “I’m gonna suck you off.”

“Here?” Eddie croaked, as if he hadn’t just said the hottest sentence Buck had ever heard in his life, not even five minutes ago.

Buck slid his hand down Eddie’s hard stomach and popped the button of his jeans with deft fingers. It didn’t take long for him to get the zipper down and to work Eddie’s cock out of his boxers.

His mouth watered.

He’d been dreaming about sucking Eddie’s cock for far too long. It was a crying shame that he hadn’t yet. He could admit he was too much of a knot-whore and always craved Eddie’s knot inside him instead.

Even though he really wanted to take up Eddie on his non-serious offer of knotting him in the backseat of his truck, Buck realistically didn’t want the cops called on them for public indecency at two AM. A blowjob, if Eddie was good and didn’t pop his knot, he could do.

Buck shivered as he glanced at Eddie’s cock. He made sure to lock eyes with Eddie as he licked his palm messily, getting it wet enough to smooth the glide, before he began to jack his cock, bringing it to full hardness.

“Such a good Alpha,” Buck said lowly as he jacked him off, and Eddie’s eyes began to glaze over. “Getting food for me. Have to say thank you.”

“Buck,” Eddie rasped.

“I got you, honey,” Buck purred. “Just, joder mi boca.”

He contorted his body further, careful not to disturb his bump on the gearshift, and used the hand jacking Eddie to rub his cock over his lips, smearing the pre-come beading at his tip over his mouth. He licked it off with a moan, and licked along a prominent vein on the side of Eddie’s cock.

He brought his left hand to the base of Eddie’s dick, squeezing below his knot to prevent it from popping, like a homemade cockring. As much as he’d love Eddie to knot his mouth, they couldn’t have him trapping Buck’s jaw, bent over at this awkward angle, for nearly a half hour. Buck mentally promised himself that he would one day, when they had a free afternoon and a cushion could be placed under his knees.

Buck adored presenting for Eddie, rolling on his stomach so he was ass up and ready to be fucked by the Alpha. But, it was also an enticing picture to imagine kneeling for Eddie. He really liked the thought of peering up at him through his lashes, one of Eddie’s hands on the nape of his neck as he fed him his cock.

Buck opened his mouth wide and didn’t waste any time, sinking down on Eddie’s cock. He’d have all the opportunities in the world to take his time when his stomach got too big and he was too sore for Eddie to fuck him properly. Right now, a messy car blowjob would have to do.

Buck hummed around his mouthful of cock when he heard Eddie’s head thunk against the headrest. He mourned not being able to look at his face from the angle he was at. He was sure Eddie was gorgeous with his head thrown back and eyes squeezed shut.

Buck sucked in a breath through his nose, going down as far as he could go, only satisfied when he felt the wiry dark curls around the base of his cock. He curled his tongue as much as he could and breathed through the first warnings of his gag reflex that he knew would pass. He liked to think that every cock he’d sucked before this was nothing but training for Eddie’s cock. So he could make it good for him.

“Baby, fuck,” Eddie groaned, his voice sounding shredded already. “Your mouth.”

Buck pulled his lips up slowly to suckle around the head of Eddie’s cock before he sank down against hastily, taking Eddie to the back of his throat. Eddie’s hand came to the back of his neck as he started to bob his head, setting up a quick, punishing, slurping rhythm.

“Jesus, baby. That feels so good,” Eddie moaned. “‘M gonna have to get you on your knees whenever you start running your mouth.”

Buck whined in response, his mind getting floaty and soft at pleasing his Alpha. At pleasing Eddie. Spit leaked out of the corners of his mouth, making Eddie’s cock wet and messy.

Buck peeled himself off Eddie’s cock, merely to take a few deep breaths in from his mouth. He moved Eddie’s hand from the nape of his neck to tangle in his hair. “I meant it, Eds,” He said, his voice hoarse. “Fuck my mouth.”

“Mierda,” Eddie swore. “Okay, Christ.”

Buck got back to work, sucking Eddie’s cock like his life depended on it. Eddie’s hips jerked cautiously, testing the waters. Buck hummed, encouraging him. He slackened his jaw and pressed a hand to Eddie’s hip, goading him on.

The first real thrust of Eddie’s hips, forcing his cock deep into Buck’s throat, had his eyes rolling to the back of his head. The wet gurgle of his mouth as he took Eddie’s cock was downright obscene.

Eddie built up a pace, going from tentative to all-out fucking Buck’s mouth within a couple of strokes, and Buck loved it. He loved the weight of Eddie’s cock on his tongue, filling up his mouth completely. He loved the taste of him, salty and musky, with a bitter edge coming from the pre-come leaking out of the head of his cock and down Buck’s throat as he swallowed around him.

“Motherfuck,” Eddie bit out, his hips jerking up hard, resulting in a garbled, debauched sound that came from Buck’s throat. “Baby, mi vida, I’m gonna come.”

Normally, Buck would pull off cutely and ask if he wanted to come on his face or in his mouth. He desperately wanted Eddie to come all over his face so he could wear it; owned and claimed. That being said, it was better for Eddie to come down his throat, to tidy up their mess and hope for some semblance of presentability when they finally exited Eddie’s truck.

Buck pressed down on Eddie’s cock, deepthroating him with intention as Eddie’s fingers tugged on his hair and his hips fucked into his mouth in choppy, aborted thrusts.

His cock twitched in his mouth, and Buck tightened his grip under Eddie’s knot, just to make double sure it wouldn’t pop. He keened, and the noise barely made its way out, as his throat was filled to the brim with Eddie’s cock, effectively silencing him.

It was dizzyingly hot.

“Baby, I’m gonna—” Eddie choked out, his voice breaking off into a moan that had goosebumps rising along Buck’s arms. He wanted to ride Eddie’s knot until he got him to make that same sound over and over again.

Eddie came, and his come gushed down Buck’s throat. Buck did have to pull off then, much to his disappointment, to free his throat up enough so that he could properly swallow all of Eddie’s spend. It flooded his mouth, and he drank it all greedily, lapping at the head of Eddie’s cock to make sure he got every last drop. His hand jerked Eddie through the last remnants of his orgasm, drawing it out, despite them both knowing it wasn’t quite as long as ones he’d be having with his knot expanded.

Buck continued to lick over Eddie’s cock, cleaning him up until he started to soften. Reluctantly, he took his mouth away and tucked Eddie back into his boxers and jeans neatly, doing up the button and zipper. He patted him sweetly once he was done, pleased at how Eddie’s chest rose and fell rapidly as he panted.

Buck licked his lips and used his thumb to catch the few smears of come that had leaked out of his mouth, defying his best efforts to get it all. He grinned up at Eddie dopily, committing the image of him to memory.

His cheeks were pink, his mouth flushed red, and he had a fucked-out faraway look in his eyes that had Buck pleased down to his toes.

“Buck, baby, c’mere,” Eddie said, yanking Buck forward with jellied limbs. He was only seemingly satisfied when Buck was halfway on his lap.

He kissed Buck ravenously, and Buck melted into the kiss. He was buzzing and sated enough from giving Eddie such obvious pleasure, it was almost like he’d had an orgasm himself.

“Gorgeous,” Eddie said in between frantic, sloppy kisses. “So good for me. Perfect. Pretty. Angelito. Love you.”

Buck giggled deliriously. “I love you, too,” He mumbled into Eddie’s mouth.

Eddie rested their foreheads together when they broke away for air. “I think you broke me.”

“I hope not,” Buck said lightly, smiling at Eddie, utterly love-sick. His heart was so full of love it threatened to beat out of his chest.

Buck gave him a few minutes to get his breath back, as they traded languid kisses.

“You think you’re good enough to help me get food now, cowboy?” Buck teased.

Eddie playfully glared at him. “Your fault.”

“Mmm, yeah, it is,” Buck said, sickly sweet and satisfied. He pecked a tiny kiss at the corner of Eddie’s jaw, patting his thigh. “C’mon, handsome, I’m hungry.”

“Alright,” Eddie said, turning off the truck and sliding his keys out of the ignition. “Can’t have my tres princesas going hungry.”

Buck slid back over to the passenger seat as Eddie got out of the car. He cracked his back and neck in succession. He was going to open the door and get out by himself, but Eddie was quicker. He pried open the passenger door and held out his hands for Buck to hold. He eased him down and out, the support of his grip firm and steady.

Buck’s bump wasn’t so big that he couldn’t have gotten out of the car without assistance. Still, the protective gesture made him warm and gooey.

From the way that they had parked, the driver’s side was facing the food truck, and the passenger side was hidden, facing the rest of the empty parking lot. As soon as Buck’s feet were solidly on the ground, and the passenger door was clicked closed, Eddie bracketed him up against it, putting his hands on his hips.

“What?” Buck asked, his breath hitching as their lips brushed.

Eddie dipped his head down to nose at his neck. With little warning, he nipped over a spot at the junction between Buck’s shoulder and neck. His teeth sank in as he sucked, and Buck’s eyes fell shut, his fingers coming up to cradle the back of Eddie’s head. Eddie lapped his tongue over what Buck was sure was a bright red bruise that would only purple by the morning, soothing it.

Buck realized that he’d formed a mark where it would easily be on display with the frayed, worn-out collar of the shirt he was wearing, while remaining covered just barely by the collar of his uniform for work tomorrow. It was hot, lovingly possessive, and thoughtful, all wrapped into one.

Like Eddie.

“You marking your territory?” Buck prompted when Eddie finally pried his lips away from his skin.

“Something like that,” Eddie mumbled.

Buck linked their hands together, leading him away from his truck.

Eddie kept one hand entangled in Buck’s fingers, while his other one rested on the small of his back, taking some of the weight off of him effortlessly.

Buck all about skipped up to the food truck, giddy with happiness and love-drunk.

He dragged Eddie over to the chalkboard sandwich sign that had their weekly specials listed colorfully. Once he’d solidified what he was going to order, he and Eddie got in line behind the few smatterings of college students who were rowdy and obviously drunk, definitely looking to eat their weight in greasy street food.

“I hope none of them are driving,” Eddie muttered quietly as he watched them worriedly. His chest was pressed up along Buck’s back, and his arms were wrapped around Buck’s waist. Buck picked up one of his hands and traced his finger down the heartline, headline, and lifeline of his palm.

Natalia had dabbled in reading palms and had spent a good portion of one of their dates telling him all about it. He hadn’t retained anything other than the names of each of the three lines. Now, he wished he had. He wanted to read and know every single detail about Eddie, even if Eddie wouldn’t see any validity in it. He’d most likely grumble about it being “curandera shit,” under his breath, while still holding his hand out for Buck to read.

“They’ll probably get an Uber,” Buck said absentmindedly.

Eddie seemed to relax a little. “Yeah,” He said, relief evident in his voice. “You’re right.”

Buck dropped Eddie’s hand to cup his own ear. “What was that?”

Eddie rolled his eyes dramatically, a mirror image of Christopher when he thought Buck was being especially lame. “Don’t push it.”

They inched up further in line until they were right at the front. Julio glanced up from where he was writing on a pad, a pen tucked behind his ear. His eyes widened when he took them in.

“Buck! Eddie! Haven’t seen you two in a while,” He took his pen out of his ear and pointed at Eddie, who was doing his best impression of an octopus around Buck’s body. “You’ve been keeping him from me.”

Buck laughed. “No one could keep me away from your tacos,” He promised. “Scout’s honor.”

“He was never a Boy Scout,” Eddie piped up petulantly.

Buck knocked his shoulder against Eddie, as if to say, ‘hey, play nice.’

It took a second for Julio to seemingly process his belly, but Buck knew the moment he did because his face broke out into an ear-splitting grin. “Bonito,” Julio whistled delightedly. “Are you expecting?”

“Yeah,” Buck confirmed, returning his grin with an equal amount of delight. “We’re having twins!”

“Ay, Felicidades!” Julio cheered. “Oh, this is great. You’ll have to bring them, so I’ll have two more customers,” He said with a wink.

“As soon as we move them up from baby food,” Buck swore.

Julio leaned back and called out to the other side of the truck. “¡Talia, ven aquí! Look who it is!”

“I’m doing inventory,” Talia snarked, coming over to the order window. “This better be good.” Her demeanor completely changed, however, when her eyes landed on them. “Oh! Buck! Eddie! It’s so good to see you.” She was quicker to the draw than Julio had been at noticing Buck’s bump. “Oh, look at you!”

“Gemelos,” Julio told her conspiratorially.

“Gemelas, actually,” Buck corrected, and Talia squealed.

She disappeared from view for a moment, though, only so she could amble out the side door of the truck and over to Buck. Eddie dutifully stepped back so Talia could throw her arms around him.

“I’m so happy for you!” She gushed. She peeled herself away, putting both her hands on Buck’s arms, taking him in. “Oh, cariño, you’re candente!”

“Thank you,” Buck replied shyly. “I’m really happy.”

He heard Julio say slyly to Eddie, “Gran trabajo, hermano,” and his face flushed.

“I was craving your tacos and street corn. Nobody’s is as good as yours,” Buck insisted.

“Eres demasiado dulce,” Talia cooed, pinching his cheeks. “Of course, you must be starved.” She whipped her head to look at Julio. “You better be giving this dulce niño anything he wants, on the house.”

Julio responded with a salute.

“Oh, it’s fine, really, you don’t have to,” Buck stammered quickly.

“Hush,” Talia scolded, holding a lot of command in her barely five-foot frame. “You better send tu hombre over any time you have a craving. We gotta take care of our guapo niño.”

“You’re too nice,” Buck said, touched.

“I’m not that nice,” Talia said with a wave of her hand.

She clamored back into the truck hastily, while Julio wrote down their order. Buck was pleased to see Eddie’s cheeks were as red as his.

After only a few minutes, they handed over a piling tray of food. Talia practically forced a large drink into his hands, so bright pink it was nearly purple. “Dragonfruit lemonade,” she explained. “When my sister was pregnant, she couldn’t get enough of the stuff.”

“Thank you, guys, seriously,” Buck said emphatically. “You’re the best.”

“Anything for our guapo niño,” Talia replied, while Julio nodded next to her.

“C’mon, baby,” Eddie said tenderly, carrying their food and leading them over to one of the outdoor tables set up a few feet away. Buck waved back at Julio and Talia, filled to the brim with syrupy happiness.

The minute they sat down, Buck remembered just how hungry he was. He dove into his tacos ravenously, moaning around his first couple of bites. He sipped on his dragonfruit lemonade eagerly.

“This is so fucking good,” He groaned, drinking even more. “This is like the best thing I’ve ever tasted. Eds, I’m not kidding.”

Eddie stared at him, a small smile on his face.

“What?” Buck asked, pausing between his next bite.

“Nothing, just,” He paused, and his expression slid into something soft, almost private. “You’re beautiful.”

“Really,” Buck said dubiously, despite butterflies rising in his stomach, threatening to flutter up his esophagus and out through his throat. “With taco sauce all over my face?”

Eddie leaned forward, wiping off the taco sauce smeared over the corner of his mouth with his thumb, the softness and love in his eyes never wavering. “Especially with taco sauce on your face.”

“I love you,” Buck said, meaning every word. He could feel himself beginning to tear up.

“I love you, too,” Eddie replied, his eyes sparkling. “Now eat your food, guapo niño,” He teased.

Buck pointed his taco at him. “Don’t you forget it.”

—

“Okay, honey, I’m driving,” Buck said, taking the truck keys out of Eddie’s hand and slinging them on the hook by the door. He grabbed his Jeep keys instead. “You look like you’re about to fall asleep standing.”

Eddie rubbed at his eyes. It was unbearably cute. Buck had turned off his alarm early and had gotten ready for work as silently as he possibly could, in an attempt to let Eddie sleep a little longer. He went ahead and took Christopher to school, and had only woken Eddie up at the last possible second he could to avoid them being late. Eddie had dark bags under his eyes and kept blinking slowly, like he was one long blink away from falling asleep where he stood.

Buck felt kind of bad.

“Whose fault is that?” Eddie said petulantly.

“Mine,” Buck agreed easily. “It’s all my fault, that’s why I’m driving.” He pecked Eddie’s cheek. “You’re so good to me. Such a good Alpha, getting me food even when you were tired.” He placed a few more brief kisses around Eddie’s face. “I’ll see if I can convince Bobby to let you nap in the bunks before the first call. I’ll do all your chores. It’s not like I have much else to do.”

Eddie sighed. “You don’t have to do my chores, baby.”

“We’ll see about that,” Buck told him ominously. “I’ll drive slow. Get some sleep in the car.”

“You know I can’t sleep in the car,” Eddie complained, following Buck out to the Jeep. Buck locked up behind them.

“Uh huh,” Buck said knowingly.

He always did this. He would insist that he couldn’t sleep in the car, and without fail, Buck would look over at him at some point, and he’d be conked out, mouth open with his head against the window.

“Your daddy’s so cute when he’s telling lies,” Buck mumbled under his breath, putting a fleeting hand over his bump.

“I heard that,” Eddie said without looking over his shoulder.

“Heard what?” Buck said innocently.

Eddie said something under his own breath in Spanish that Buck couldn’t make out, and he had to bite his lip to hold back a smile. It was annoying that he still found him so endearing, even when he was grumpy from a lack of sleep.

“Oh, God,” Eddie said suddenly as Buck backed out of their driveway. “If there’s a welcome back party planned, I’m going to kill myself.”

“No, don’t kill yourself, you’re too sexy,” Buck said automatically.

Eddie squinted at him. “That’s…a deranged thing to say.”

“It’s a meme,” Buck said, pouting. “It’s oddly inspirational.”

“I’ll take your word for it,” Eddie muttered.

Once Buck had gotten to his fourth Taylor Swift song in a row on his playlist without a single comment from Eddie, he snuck a glance over at him. To no one’s surprise, Eddie was passed out cold in the passenger seat.

“Can’t fall asleep in the car, my ass,” Buck whispered to himself.

When they got to the station, Eddie was still fast asleep, curled up in the passenger seat. They had some time before they’d really be late, so Buck was nice and let him sleep. He unplugged his phone from CarPlay and snapped a picture because, despite being nice, he wasn’t a saint.

He sent the picture to Chris.

7:49 AM [Buck]: he looks like you after you stay up all night playing video games

[IMAGE ATTACHMENT]

Chris’s reply came not even thirty seconds later.

7:49 AM [Christopher]: will be adding this to my blackmail folder, peace and love 😌

7:50 AM [Buck]: now why do you have a blackmail folder 🤔

7:50 AM [Christopher]: sorry cant reveal state secrets

7:51 AM [Buck]: put your phone away and go to class

7:51 AM [Christopher]: ugh ok mom but you started it 🙄

Buck’s heart thudded wildly at Christopher calling him ‘mom.’ He knew it was only in a joking manner that wasn’t supposed to be taken seriously. However, it warmed his chest, slinking like a hand curled behind his ribcage.

He loved this kid with all his heart.

7:52 AM [Christopher]: is he drooling bc it looks like hes drooling

7:52 AM [Buck]: i can neither confirm nor deny

Buck slid his phone into his pocket and turned off his Jeep. He got out and plucked his gear bag from the backseat, slinging it over his shoulder. Eddie was still dead to the world, and it made him laugh. He was not going to be a happy camper when Buck woke him up.

Buck opened up the passenger door and caught Eddie’s shoulder so he didn’t come tumbling out.

“Eds, time to wake up,” Buck sing-songed.

Eddie awoke with a violent startled, blinking around at Buck and his surroundings like he wasn’t sure where he was or what year it was.

“I know,” Buck said sympathetically. “But we gotta head into work.”

“I’m up, I’m up,” Eddie said, shaking his head and wiping his eyes, seemingly in an effort to wake himself up.

“C’mon,” Buck said, easing himself back so Eddie had room to get out of his Jeep.

Eddie scrambled out, collecting his own gear bag from the backseat. “I’m never going to make it,” He said despondently.

“Not with that attitude, soldier,” Buck quipped primly. “If you make it through your shift, I promise you fun stuff when you get home.”

“If I recall, I think ‘fun stuff’ is what got me here,” Eddie quipped in response.

Buck grinned at him wickedly.

He entwined their fingers together. “You ready?”

“Yeah,” Eddie breathed. “Can’t wait to see what messes LA gets itself into today.”

Buck led them into the station, holding his breath. Everyone was aware that they were a couple now, thanks in part to the bet Christopher informed them about. Still, it was hard to shake his nerves at announcing he was pregnant, too.

But, as it turned out, an announcement wasn’t necessary.

The minute they walked in, they were greeted with a banner that read, “118’s Newest Probie,” and everyone standing around with shit-eating grins.

“They’re here!” Chimney yelled as Buck took in the scene with wide eyes.

“Don’t kill yourself,” Buck hissed hastily.

“That banner better not be talking about me,” Eddie grouched.

Buck hesitated. “I’m getting the feeling it’s not about you, Eds.”

Before Buck could say anything else, Hen appeared out of thin air carrying a cake.

“What’s all this?” Buck demanded, flustered.

“We’re welcoming the newest member to our team,” Hen said innocently. “Not you,” She said, with an unimpressed eyebrow raise when Eddie went to open his mouth.

Buck pointed at her. “Who spilled the beans?”

“You told way too many people, Buckaroo, for it to remain a secret. And I thought I was bad at secrets,” Chimney said with obvious glee. “We, of course, won’t be revealing our source.”

Hen placed the cake on the folding table they had set up in the ambulance bay with relish. It was brandished in red icing that read, “Buckley’s Unauthorized Ride-Along.”

“We also got you this,” Hen told them, handing Buck a gift bag with an enthusiastic amount of tissue paper.

Buck dug into the gift bag and pulled out a single LAFD onesie.

“Courtesy of the department,” Bobby piped up from the back corner.

“Well,” Buck said, choking back tears. “It looks like your source doesn’t know everything.” He glanced over at Eddie. “Do you wanna tell them?”

“I think the department’s gonna have to splurge on another onesie,” Eddie said casually. “Unless you want the girls to share.”

The room went silent for a few brief seconds, then everyone began to chatter over one another.

“Wait, twins?” Hen crowed. “Girls!?”

Chimney rowdily clapped Eddie on the shoulder. “Diaz, you animal!”

“I don’t think anyone’s acknowledging how obnoxious they’re going to be as Girl Dads,” Ravi chimed in.

“Looks like I need to make room on the roster for two new probies,” Bobby said amusedly, then nodded at Buck. “There’s another onesie in my office you can pick up at the end of your shift.”

Chimney and Hen’s heads swiveled to stare at him. “You knew?”

“Of course I knew,” Bobby said blandly. “I know everything.”

“I can’t believe you let us make and hang that banner knowing it was inaccurate!” Chimney accused.

“Umm,” Buck broke in, just for fun. “I want it stated for the record that Ravi also knew.”

“Traitor!” Hen yelled at the same time Chimney barked, “C’mon, dude!”

“I swore an oath of solidarity!” Ravi defended, glaring at Buck. “Not cool, bro.”

Buck whispered to Eddie while the rest of the crew were busy squabbling. “I’ll keep them busy with cake and pregnancy symptoms if you want to sneak off to the bunks.”

“You’re a genius,” Eddie whispered back.

He ducked out, mouthing ‘I love you’, to which Buck mouthed in return ‘I love you more,’ while Buck distracted Hen, Chimney, and Ravi with cutting the cake.

Hen fretted over him. “How have you been feeling? You’ve been seeing a doctor, right?”

“It was rougher in the beginning,” Buck admitted. “I think it’s mellowing out now. I’m finally hungry again.” He sighed. “I know I need to find a regular doctor. I’ve still been seeing the one from the hospital. It’s just tough, you know? Most OBGYNs in our network focus on female Beta or Omega pregnancies, and the ones I could find that specialize in male Omega pregnancies weren’t currently taking on new patients.”

Hen hummed sympathetically. “Yeah, because male Omega pregnancies carry more risks, a lot of them don’t want to take on the liability.” She covered his hand with hers on the table. “Which is bullshit, by the way. You deserve healthcare as good as anyone else.”

“Yeah, I guess I just need to keep looking,” Buck replied. “I know Maddie loved her doctor, but she focuses on female Beta pregnancies, and that’s not what I need,” Buck said, before Chimney could interject.

“I get that, Buckaroo,” Chimney said, and he did sound torn up about it. “I wish I could help.”

“I might be able to,” Hen said slowly. “Let me reach out to some of the people I went to school with and see if they know anyone they’d recommend. I can’t promise anything, but it would be better than nothing.”

“Thanks, Hen,” Buck said sincerely. “That means a lot. I’ve been really stressing about it.”

“Hey,” Ravi said, shoving his mouth full of cake. “Where did Eddie go?”

Buck grimaced. “Okay, please leave him alone. I told him to head off to the bunkroom to try and get some sleep. I kind of kept him up all night.”

“Oh, gross,” Chimney exclaimed with vehement disgust. “We did not need to know that.”

“Not like that!” Buck insisted, rolling his eyes. “There might have been a pregnancy craving emergency he was forced to attend to.”

“Oh, I know how those go,” Chimney said with palpable relief. “Have they gotten weird yet?”

“I don’t think so,” Buck said, wrinkling his nose. “I just really wanted tacos.”

“I’ll have to warn Eddie when he wakes up. They will get weird.” Chimney said, looking off with an expression of a man who’d seen war.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t realize you were the one growing two entirely new human beings,” Buck said testily.

“You better watch it, Chim,” Hen said. “The last thing you want is two Buckleys on a warpath.”

“Noted,” Chim said, raising his hands in surrender.

“I’ll let Eddie sleep for a while, but if we get a call, you have to wake him up. There’s only so much I can do,” Bobby said diplomatically.

“I appreciate it, Cap. The last thing we want is a grumpy, sleep-deprived Eddie,” Buck said, wincing.

Hen, Chimney, and Ravi all mumbled their agreement.

—

“Hey, what are you up to?” Eddie asked, apparently having developed the ability to apparate at will.

Buck startled, swallowing around the concoction of food he’d created. He slid his bowl over, hiding it from view. “Oh, nothing, just, you know, filling out reports.”

Eddie stepped closer, narrowing his eyes. “What are you eating?”

“I’m not—” Buck started to say before Eddie gave him a look. He deflated. “You don’t wanna know, trust me.”

“Why wouldn’t I want to know? It can’t be that bad,” Eddie said, leaning forward to try and sneak a peek at what was in Buck’s bowl. “It’s not like sushi, or brie, or something, is it?”

Buck beamed at him, touched. “You read that article I sent you? About foods I can’t have?”

“Of course I read the article,” Eddie said, like it was obvious. “Though, I might let you eat swordfish or shark meat, only because I’d be very impressed at how you acquired it.”

“That’s so fucking sweet,” Buck said, melting.

“Baby, that’s like, the bare minimum,” Eddie insisted. “You’re doing most of the heavy lifting; the least I can do is read an article.”

Buck eyed his bowl. He still wasn’t done with it, and it had been so good, despite how strange of a mixture it was. “Okay, I’ll tell you, but it’s gross. You can’t say anything.

Eddie gestured with his hands as if to say ‘hit me.’

“It’s the vanilla cake from earlier,” Buck started, gnawing on his lip. “But with hot sauce and a bunch of shredded cheddar cheese.”

Eddie made a face and almost without his control, Buck could feel tears welling in his eyes. “It’s disgusting. You think it’s disgusting. I am disgusting. I don’t know why I wanted it, but I did. And Chimney said I’m only going to want weirder and weirder things, and everyone’s going to make faces because it’s weird and gross, and I’m weird and gross,” Buck bemoaned at a rapid speed, hot tears falling down his cheeks.

“Woah, woah, hey, no. Shit, baby, don’t cry,” Eddie said hastily. “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have—” He bundled Buck in his arms. Buck responded immediately by flinging his arms around Eddie’s neck, crying into his shoulder. “You’re not disgusting, don’t even say that. You’re beautiful and glowing, mi vida.”

“I don’t even know why I’m crying,” Buck sobbed into Eddie’s shoulder, creating a wet patch on his uniform, which only made him cry harder.

“It’s okay. You can eat whatever you want. I’m sorry,” Eddie said, gently rocking him in his arms.

“I couldn’t stop crying when you guys were on that call an hour ago,” Buck told him miserably, his nose running and eyes red. “I was putting in an order for more oxygen tanks because we’re running low, and they can only be shipped with a minimum of two, and I thought, what if it’s because they get lonely if they’re shipped by themselves? Then I was thinking about the girls, and I’m so glad we’re having twins because if there are two of them, that means they won’t ever be lonely.”

“You know what, I never thought about it like that. But you’re right. I’m sure they’re not lonely because they have each other,” Eddie said consolingly.

Buck hiccuped around another sob. “I just love them so much and I don’t even know them yet.”

“I know, sweetheart.” Eddie soothed, running one of his hands up and down Buck’s back. “I know you love them.”

“I’m so tired,” Buck whimpered. “And I can’t stop crying.”

“Alright,” Eddie said steadily. He was always steady. Especially when Buck was being crazy. He choked on another fresh wave of tears. “Let's get you to the bunks for a nap? Hmm? C’mon, baby.”

“Don’t let go of me,” Buck said desperately, tightening his grip around Eddie’s neck. “Please.”

“I’m not gonna let go of you. I promise,” Eddie swore. “You can finish your reports later. I think it’s time you catch up on sleep, too.”

“If we were at home, I’d make you carry me,” Buck said mournfully.

Eddie snorted. “I know, mi sol. You like when I toss you around.”

Buck got up from his chair, with the help of Eddie pulling him up. Eddie supported his weight with his arm around his waist, and Buck leaned into him gladly. He buried his nose into Eddie’s neck, cursing the godforsaken scent patches they had to wear on shift. He didn’t just want to breathe in his Alpha’s scent; he wanted to breathe in Eddie.

“Can we stop by our lockers on the way?” Buck mumbled into Eddie’s neck.

“Sure,” Eddie said easily. “You need something, baby?”

“Scent patches,” Buck said as Eddie led them to the locker room. “‘Cause I’m ripping this one off of you as soon as we’re horizontal.”

“Okay, baby,” Eddie said.

He made his way over to their lockers and yanked out a box of their department-issued scent patches, his movements mostly encumbered by Buck, who latched onto his side.

He dragged Buck the rest of the way to the bunk room, and deposited him onto his favorite bunk, the one in the corner. It was perfect for them to share since it was pressed up along the wall and there was less likelihood of one of them tumbling off if there wasn’t enough room.

“You on top, or me on top?” Eddie asked casually as he unlaced Buck’s boots and slipped them off his feet, one by one.

Usually, Buck liked to lay on top of Eddie, curling his body around him.

Buck thought about it for a second as Eddie tugged off his own boots.

“You on top,” He decided. His eyes were swollen and filmy from all his crying, and he could feel the exhaustion creeping into his bones.

Eddie hummed and climbed on top of him. He blanketed Buck’s entire body with his weight, and Buck’s mind finally began to quiet.

He reached up hastily to rip the scent patch off of Eddie’s neck. Eddie winced at the tacky adhesive that pulled at his skin, and Buck immediately brushed his lips against the reddened skin in an apology to soothe it. He nosed along Eddie’s scent gland, breathing in greedy gulps of Eddie’s scent.

“Better?” Eddie asked amusedly.

Buck nodded. “Yeah,” he sighed, hitching one of his legs up over Eddie’s hip and clinging to Eddie’s shoulders, leaving them completely entangled.

“If we get a call, I’ll have to go,” Eddie warned.

“I know,” Buck whispered. He smattered a few more kisses at the side of Eddie’s neck. His stomach started fluttering in the tell-tale way he was doing his best to get used to. The girls were moving around, and he smiled. “You can’t feel it yet,” Buck said sleepily. “But the girls are kicking right now.”

“Yeah?” Eddie prompted, trailing his hand down to skate over Buck’s bump.

“They know when Daddy’s here,” Buck told him.

He could feel Eddie’s grin.

“I think it’s time you and the girls get some sleep,” Eddie crooned. “I’ll be here as long as I can be.”

────────────────────────────────────

NINETEEN WEEKS

────────────────────────────────────

“baby, we’ve journeyed too far.

no u-turns, my sweetheart.”

— “kitchen” / kid cudi

────────────────────────────────────

“Hello, Evan, and Eddie, it’s very nice to meet you,” said Dr. Gupta as she came into the room. She was young and very pretty, with a bunch of curly dark hair piled high in a bun at the top of her head. “I’m Dr. Gupta, but you can feel free to call me Diya if you prefer. I’ve heard that you two are good friends of Henrietta Wilson. One of my colleagues raved about studying with her in med school. I can assure you that you’re in good hands.”

“That’s good to hear,” Eddie said, smiling at her politely. “We trust anyone that Hen recommends.”

“I’m just glad we were able to get in on such short notice. It’s been a nightmare trying to find someone who focuses on male Omega pregnancies that has any open slots,” Buck told her, nervously picking at the papery sheet underneath him. “We’ve been seeing a doctor from the hospital in the meantime.”

“Ah, yes, Dr. Cho,” Dr. Gupta said, clicking a few things on her laptop. “She sent over all of your paperwork, ultrasounds, lab results, and notes from your previous visits. I’ve gone through it and I feel pretty confident that we can manage all your symptoms and bring these girls into the world all safe and sound.”

“I like the sound of that,” Buck said, smiling over at Eddie. Eddie reached his hand over to lace their fingers together.

“Alright, well, let’s take a look at these girls and then discuss our action plan moving forward,” Dr. Gupta said kindly. She sat down on the stool adjacent to the cot Buck was lying on and unhooked the ultrasound wand from the ultrasound machine.

She squirted the ultrasound jelly onto Buck’s stomach, spreading it around while Eddie brought Buck’s hand up to his mouth, placing a short kiss on his knuckles.

“Heartbeats sound great,” Dr. Gupta told them with a smile as she moved the wand over Buck’s belly, playing each one. “They look just about the same size, which is wonderful. Sometimes with twins, one can be larger than the other, which can be a sign that one is getting more nutrients than the other, but that isn’t the case here.”

“See, they’re already so good at sharing. They’re amazing,” Buck said dreamily, making Eddie laugh.

“Their measurements are all where they should be, and your placenta looks exactly how I want it to,” Dr. Gupta said, and began wiping up the gel on Buck’s stomach. She snapped off her gloves, tossing them in the trash can beside the bed. “Did Dr. Cho go over any birthing plans with you?”

“I know she wanted me to get a C-section, because I’m having twins,” Buck said hesitantly. “We didn’t really discuss more than that.”

“I also talked to her about the Heparin,” Eddie jumped in. “She said he’d be taken off of it a few weeks before the C-section to reduce the chance of hemorrhage. I know he’s a blood clot risk with his history, but I’m worried about him bleeding during the C-section.”

“I understand your concerns,” Dr. Gupta said graciously. “I am also recommending a C-section because of the twins and their size. We will be taking you off the Heparin a little bit before the procedure to lower your risk of bleeding. I’m not concerned, though. I would be more concerned with that risk if we were going down the avenue of a natural birth, which we are not. At this point, I think staying on the Heparin, at least for the next few months, will be more beneficial than harmful.”

Buck shrugged, glancing over at Eddie. “If that’s what you think is best.”

“I do,” Dr. Gupta said decisively. “Now, I was hoping to discuss some of your other bloodwork. I see that your OAS levels have gone down with your most recent bloodwork.” She continued, and Buck felt his blood run cold. Eddie stiffened beside him.

Dr. Gupta soldiered on, seemingly unaware of the change in atmosphere. “Your chart says that you denied any allopathic treatment options for your OAS. Your levels are out of the danger zone as of now, but there are still some recommendations I would suggest, as OAS can turn on a dime.”

“We don’t have to—” Buck said meekly.

Eddie retracted his hand from where it had been entangled with Buck’s and cut him off. “He was in the danger zone…with OAS?”

Dr. Gupta blinked at him, frowning. “Yes, earlier in Buck’s pregnancy his levels were alarming, which contributed to the increased severity of his symptoms, like nausea, fatigue, loss of appetite, and joint pain. I do want to reiterate that his levels are much improved. That being said, I would still suggest some form of intervention, even if it’s not medicinal.”

“Eds—” Buck whispered.

Eddie shook his head, his lips tightening into a thin line. “I was always taught that OAS was the result of a rejected mating bond.”

“Most commonly, yes. I understand Buck is unbonded. From Dr. Cho’s notes regarding the circumstances of the twins’ conception, it’s our general consensus that a proximitas bond was formed—also known as a proximity bond or temporary bond. It’s relatively rare, but it’s been known to happen in pairs that are extremely biologically compatible and exist in prolonged close quarters.” Dr. Gupta paused. “Essentially, it’s when the body begins to physically and emotionally recognize each other as bonded, even when no bonding bite has been exchanged. In these cases, OAS can occur just as it would in a conventionally bonded couple.”

“So, he— we…” Eddie trailed off, sucking on his teeth. Eddie rubbed at his forehead with his thumb, a tick Buck knew he did whenever he was stressed. “I haven’t had any symptoms of AAS.”

“Well,” Dr. Gupta said delicately. “That could be for a couple of reasons. One, the proximitas bond could be unrequited.” Buck ducked his head, staring at his hands in his lap, shrinking. “Which I don’t think is the case here,” Dr. Gupta was quick to tack on. “Omegas in general are more likely to feel the brunt of the Abandonment Syndromes. The most likely explanation here is that Buck’s pregnancy, and it being a multiples pregnancy at that, exacerbated his symptoms. The risk of developing OAS during a perceived rejection event is increased tenfold when an Omega is pregnant.”

“Can I look at his labs?” Eddie asked softly, not looking at Buck at all.

Dr. Gupta pulled out a tablet from one of the drawers to her right. She peered at Buck. “Do you give your consent for your labs to be shared?”

“He’s my medical proxy,” Buck said, his voice small. Dr. Gupta continued to hold her gaze, her expression conveying that his answer wasn’t good enough. Buck cleared his throat. “Yeah, he can…it’s— it’s fine. Yes.”

Dr. Gupta clicked around at a few things on the tablet before she handed it off to Eddie. His brows furrowed as he read through Buck’s labs with a single-minded focus.

“These numbers are really high,” He said after a moment, sounding gutted.

“They were worrisome at the beginning of his pregnancy, which is why Alpha pheromone medications were initially suggested. If you look at his most recent labs, you can see there’s been a dramatic decrease, which is good. He’s not quite back to normal levels, but almost. That’s why I want Evan to get some more bloodwork done today, to see if they’ve continued to improve,” Dr. Gupta explained.

“He dropped a few weeks ago,” Eddie told her. “Was that because of his OAS?”

“I would probably say so,” Dr. Gupta said slowly. She turned to Buck. “How have you been feeling? Have you had any other close-calls in regards to dropping?”

“No,” Buck said, twisting his hands in his lap. He couldn’t stop looking at Eddie, his stomach churning. “I’m fine. I’ve been fine.”

Buck watched as Eddie’s hands clenched around the tablet. “How has this been affecting the girls? Has it been hurting them?”

“I meant what I said earlier during the ultrasound. Everything looks great and perfectly normal. Your girls are progressing exactly as they should be. I wouldn’t be worried about that. From every marker we have to gauge, your girls are healthy,” Dr. Gupta assured them both.

“Thank you,” Buck said. He tore his eyes away from Eddie to look at Dr. Gupta nervously. “You said there were other treatment options aside from medication?”

Dr. Gupta nodded, and extended her hand to take the tablet from Eddie, who was now staring at one of the walls, his jaw clenched.

“There are more holistic options,” Dr. Gupta told him gently. “Scenting on a daily basis, multiple times a day, is a big one. Remaining close by each other as much as possible is another. As long as the abandonment is unfounded, the more your symptoms will begin to go away on their own. Of course, if these measures aren’t taken, you run the risk of your immune system lowering its ability to fight infections, which is important because it’s already lowered in pregnancy in general, and that runs its own risk of fever, confusion, and dropping again.”

“But if we keep doing what we’ve been doing, it should go away, though, right?” Buck asked hopefully.

“I’d have to see your most recent labs to give a more confident answer,” Dr. Gupta said cautiously. “However, I’m inclined to say yes. There’s already been a massive improvement, and it doesn’t appear as if your OAS has had any negative effects on the twins.”

“I’ll get the bloodwork done,” Buck told her.

“That’s good,” Dr. Gupta replied. “We have a phlebotomist in office that can take your blood for you down the hall, just tell her that I sent you. This way, you don’t have to make a separate trip out to Quest.”

“I appreciate that. Thank you,” Buck said, glancing back at Eddie, who still wouldn’t meet his eyes, his shoulders stiff.

“You can make your follow-up appointment at the front desk. I know you’ve been having weekly check-ins, but I don’t think that’s necessary anymore since you’re out of the danger zone, as it were. I think we should check back in around the twenty-three week mark. If there’s anything out of the ordinary from your labs, I’ll make sure that we contact you,” Dr. Gupta said, closing her laptop and tucking it under her arm. She paused, giving Buck a reassuring smile. “While OAS can be very harmful if it goes unmonitored, it also isn’t the end of the world. I have full faith that everything will settle out.”

“Thank you,” Buck said again, for lack of anything else.

Dr. Gupta nodded at him and closed the door behind her on her way out.

Buck pulled down his shirt to cover his stomach, and slid his sweatpants back into place. He took in a shaky breath.

“Eddie…”

Eddie stood up abruptly, his face pinched. “C’mon, let’s get your bloodwork done.”

“Eddie,” Buck said desperately. “I was going to—”

Eddie halted him. “We’re not talking about this here,” He said, his voice clipped.

Buck sat up, curling in on himself. “Can you help me up?” He asked, his voice wobbly. Usually, Eddie would have rushed to his side without a thought. It wasn’t escaping Buck’s notice that Eddie was keeping his distance.

Eddie faltered, nodding shortly. He inched closer to him, holding out his hands for Buck to hold onto to leverage himself up from the cot.

As soon as Buck was standing and stable, Eddie pulled back, as if he’d been burned.

There was no possessive lingering hand on the small of Buck’s back.

Buck followed him down the hall to where the phlebotomist was located, the mood between them subdued and bordering on sour.

The phlebotomist was middle-aged, with spikey dark hair and bright red lipstick. She greeted Buck enthusiastically, instructing him to take a seat.

“Don’t worry,” She said to Eddie with a wink. “I’ll have your boy back with you in no time.”

Eddie gave her a small pained smile before she closed the curtain.

She readied the vials on the counter, humming a tune Buck didn’t recognize under her breath. “Alphas and their hovering, am I right?” She joked with Buck.

Buck responded with a small, weak smile of his own. She wrapped the rubber tourniquet around his bicep and wiped over his inner elbow with an alcohol swab.

“I like when he hovers,” Buck said quietly, his eyes downcast. “I think it’s sweet.”

“Well, aren’t you a doll?” The phlebotomist teased. “Small pinch, okay?”

She inserted the needle, twisting on one of the vials once it successfully sank into his vein.

“We’re firefighters,” Buck explained. “He probably wishes he could draw the blood himself. He’s good at the medical stuff.”

“That’s adorable,” the phlebotomist cooed. “You’re in very good hands.” She removed one of the vials, twisting on another. “Three more and I’ll send you back all safe and sound.”

She filled up two more vials with his blood, then twisted on the last one. She frowned, securing the last vial.

“You’re looking a little pale, hon, let me get you a juice.” She crouched down, opening up the small mini-fridge in the corner, and handed over a tiny bottle of orange juice to Buck. “Drink that.”

“I’m fine, really,” Buck said as she put a cottonball and piece of masking tape over the pinprick where he was still bleeding. She raised one of her eyebrows, and Buck flushed. He opened the juice bottle and took a few small sips.

“Alright, let’s get you back before he rips open that curtain,” the phlebotomist said light-heartedly, helping Buck stand up.

She peeled back the curtain, revealing Eddie standing against the wall, his arms crossed.

“You take good care of this one,” She said to Eddie as she guided Buck in Eddie’s direction. “He’s a sweetheart.”

Eddie pursed his lips. “I’ve got him.”

They made their way to the front desk, where Buck spoke to the receptionist, planning their next appointment.

“How does the twenty-fifth at eleven thirty AM work?” The receptionist asked, typing away at her computer.

Buck turned towards Eddie. “Does that work for you? We’re both off, right?”

“Don’t know why it matters if I’m here or not,” Eddie said under his breath. “Since you’re making every decision.”

Buck reared back. He glanced over at the receptionist, who was looking between them expectantly.

Buck plastered on a smile. “Yeah, the twenty-fifth at eleven thirty. That sounds great.”

After the appointment was scheduled, Buck trudged after Eddie out to the parking garage where his truck was parked. He stopped himself a few feet away from Eddie’s truck, taking his phone out of his pocket. His throat was tight, and he was teetering on the edge of tears.

“What are you doing?” Eddie asked, sounding exasperated.

“I’m calling Chimney to come pick me up,” Buck said, not meeting his eyes. “He’s off today. I think it’s best if I go stay with him and Maddie tonight.”

“Are you serious?”

“Why wouldn’t I be serious?” Buck shot back. “You clearly don’t want to be around me. You won’t even touch me.”

“Buck,” Eddie said, clenching his jaw. “Get in the car.”

“No,” Buck said stubbornly. “Not until you apologize for what you said.”

“I’m not apologizing,” Eddie said, equally as stubbornly. “Because what I said was true.”

“Every decision I had to make by myself was because you left,” Buck said. He knew it was a low blow, a cheap shot at Eddie’s expense. However, he felt cracked open and raw. If Eddie wanted to be petty, he could be just as petty right back.

“And how long are you going to hold that over my head? You knew I was leaving, and why I was leaving. I came back. I’m here,” Eddie said hotly, his voice rising.

“For as long as you hold every decision I had to make while you were gone over my head!” Buck exclaimed. He rubbed over his temples, feeling suddenly a little bit light-headed.

Eddie’s jaw ticked, and he glanced away. He appeared to take a deep breath and met Buck’s eyes steadily. “I’m not sorry for being upset,” He said doggedly. “But I am sorry about what I said. That was mean.”

Buck slid his phone back into his pocket, squeezing his fingers around the juice bottle in his grip that he’d only taken a few sips from.

Eddie gestured to his truck. “Now, will you get in the car? Please.”

“Yeah, just give me a second,” Buck said reluctantly.

“Buck?”

“Kinda light-headed,” Buck gritted out.

Eddie rushed forward. “Shit, Buck,” He said, grabbing onto his arms. “Why didn’t you say anything?”

“It just hit me,” Buck managed, unsteadily.

“Cough,” Eddie commanded. When Buck made a face at him, he repeated it. “I mean it, cough.”

Buck forced himself to cough, and nearly as soon as his breath returned, he felt better.

“What the fuck?” He sputtered. “Why did that work?”

“It increases blood flow to your heart and brain, and you also take in more oxygen than when you breathe normally,” Eddie rattled off absently. He eyed the juice bottle in Buck’s hands. “They gave you juice. Why aren’t you drinking it? You should’ve drank it all by now.”

Buck shrugged half-heartedly. “You know I don’t like orange juice. I was gonna give it to you.”

“Jesus fucking—” Eddie swore, cutting himself off. “I’m not the one who just had my blood drawn.”

“Yeah, but,” Buck said quietly. “You like orange juice.”

Eddie pinched the bridge of his nose. “You’re going to drink all of that. I don’t care if you like it or not,” He ordered, not leaving any room for argument. “Now, for the love of all things holy, can you please get in the car?”

Buck nodded, gnawing on his lip. Eddie put his hand on the small of his back, ushering him towards the passenger side of his truck. He lifted Buck by his hips, sitting him on the seat and shutting the door behind him.

Once Eddie was fully in the driver’s seat, he looked over at Buck. “Drink. I’m not kidding.”

Buck twisted the cap of the juice bottle off and gulped down the rest of what was in the bottle with a grimace, as Eddie backed out of the parking space they were in.

That was the last thing Eddie said to him for a while. The rest of the car ride home was done in silence while Buck chewed on his nails, biting most of them down to the quick.

Eddie kept up his loaded silence, even after they’d gotten home.

“I’m sorry I didn’t tell you,” Buck said, trailing after Eddie in the kitchen, his voice small.

Eddie braced his hands on the counter by the sink, the lines of his back tense, his gaze fixated on the kitchen sink and not at Buck.

“I don’t think you are sorry,” Eddie said lowly.

“What?” Buck breathed, his stomach dropping.

“If you were sorry, you wouldn’t keep doing this,” Eddie said, turning to properly face Buck. “You were never going to tell me. The only reason I know now is because I found out.”

Buck ducked his head.

“What do I have to do to get you to trust me?” Eddie said, his mouth scrunching when his voice broke.

“Eds, I trust you. Of course, I trust you,” Buck rushed to say.

Eddie shook his head. “No, you don’t. If you trusted me, you wouldn’t have kept this from me. I’m supposed to—” Eddie clenched his jaw, gesturing between the two of them. “We’re supposed to have each other’s backs. I can’t do that when you keep shit from me.”

“I should have told you,” Buck agreed. “You’re right. I should have.”

“Yeah, but you didn’t.” Eddie bit out. “And you could’ve, you know? You could’ve told me when you told me you were pregnant, or at any other point in the last few weeks.”

“You were already freaking out,” Buck said. “I didn’t want to freak you out more.” He knew it was the wrong thing to say as soon as it came out of his mouth, judging from the expression that passed over Eddie’s face.

“Oh, so it’s my fault? You thought I couldn’t handle it, so naturally the best thing to do was to not tell me at all?” Eddie exclaimed incredulously.

“The doctor said I was doing better,” Buck protested weakly.

“Yeah, and the doctor also showed me how bad you were doing before. You could’ve, Christ, Buck, you could’ve put the girls at risk,” Eddie pointed out, and Buck felt each one of his words like a knife under his sternum.

“I would never,” Buck insisted, tasting bile in the back of his throat at the implication.

“You say that, but it doesn’t seem like it,” Eddie snapped, twisting the knife even further.

Buck took a step back. Then another.

“I don’t think we should be having this conversation right now,” Buck whispered. He tried his best to keep his tears at bay.

“Wait, Buck,” Eddie said, sounding a little panicked.

“No, I umm, I need some space,” Buck said, his voice wet as he backed out of the kitchen.

He waited for Eddie to stop him, to say that he hadn’t meant what he said and that it had came out wrong.

He didn’t, and the knife crooked up under his ribs, fully inside.

—

Buck spent the rest of the evening hiding in their room. He cycled between being angry, wanting to cry, and then feeling sorry for himself so many times that it exhausted him.

Eventually, he pulled out the book he kept in his nightstand—the one detailing nearly every Catholic saint's name, with excerpts that told the lives and deaths of some of the most popular ones. He hadn’t had the chance to crack it open yet, though now seemed as good of time as any.

He’d gotten through a good portion of the first section when he heard their bedroom door creak open and saw Christopher peek his head in.

“Hey, Buck,” Christopher said softly.

“Hey, buddy,” Buck croaked, before hastily clearing his throat. “What’s up?”

Christopher inched further into the room. “Dad’s being grumpy,” He sighed, flopping down unceremoniously onto the bed.

Buck swallowed around the sudden lump in his throat. “He just had a bad day.”

“You didn’t make dinner,” Chris said, his eyes tracking over Buck. “Are you feeling okay?”

“I’m okay,” Buck assured him, putting his book back in the drawer of his nightstand. “A little tired, that’s all.”

“Can we order pizza and watch a movie?” Chris asked hopefully.

Buck bit his lip. “I don’t know if your dad…”

“He went on a run,” Chris said with a spectacular eye roll. “Please? I’ll say it was my idea.”

“Okay, fine,” Buck relented. “But use my card when you order, not your dad’s.”

“Got it,” Chris said excitedly, already pulling out his phone to place the order. “I’ll get my laptop so we can watch the movie in here.”

Buck raised one of his eyebrows. “Are you sure you don’t want to watch it in the living room?”

“Nah,” Chris said, not looking up from his phone. “Plus, your nest is comfy.”

A flurry of emotions flushed through Buck. A part of him wanted to beam with pride at his nest being a source of comfort to his pup. The other part of him wanted to melt into a puddle of tears as affection and love for Chris flooded him.

“We have to eat at the table, kiddo,” Buck said, sniffling. “You know how your dad feels about food in bed. And make sure you order something for your dad, too.”

“Ugh, fine,” Chris agreed. “Can I show you TikToks until the pizza comes?”

“You know it,” Buck replied easily, settling further into his nest.

—

After devouring their pizzas and making Chris wash his hands, because they were a greasy mess, Buck stuck a Post-it onto the box of pizza for Eddie, telling him it was for him.

Buck threw away their paper plates as Christopher got up to go get his laptop.

“When did you say Eddie went for a run?” Buck asked him, glancing at the clock and trying not to worry.

“About two hours ago,” Chris said, seemingly not worried at all. “I don’t know. He should be back soon.”

“Yeah. I’m sure,” Buck said, attempting to give Chris a reassuring smile.

“Are you two fighting?” Chris asked him bluntly.

“We’re fine, Chris,” Buck said after mulling over his words for a minute. “It’s nothing you need to be concerned about.”

Chris frowned, then dipped his head in a way that was almost shy. “Can we watch Finding Nemo?”

Buck blinked. He hadn’t watched that movie with Chris in a while, not since he was much younger.

Buck gave him a small smile. “Yeah, bud. Go set it up, and I’ll be right in. Let me put some of this stuff away.”

“Okay, Buck,” Chris replied amicably, shuffling out of the kitchen to procure his laptop.

Once everything was in its right place and Buck had wiped down the kitchen table and the counters, he gave himself a moment to breathe. He put a comforting hand over his bump.

It was Eddie, he reminded himself. Even when they got mad at each other, it only lasted for a day, maybe a few at most. All he needed to do was give Eddie his space, and they’d work it out. This was a blip, and certainly not something he should be stressed about.

He chewed on his lip. He wished his nervous system would get with the program.

While Chris was getting his laptop, Buck slipped into his and Eddie’s bedroom. He shrugged into one of Eddie’s hoodies and managed to put on a pair of fluffy socks by himself, his bump only a mild hindrance. He then focused on fluffing the pillows on the bed and maneuvering the comforter and one of his soft throw blankets just so until he was satisfied.

Chris came in with a blanket of his own from his room. He balanced his laptop on the end of the bed while Buck bundled him up like a burrito. A quiet purr escaped from his lips as he settled in, surrounded by the scents of Eddie and Christopher.

Around halfway through the movie, Chris wiggled himself closer, completely tucking himself into Buck’s side, his mop of curls under Buck’s chin. Buck brought his hand up to brush through it, working through some of the knots as gently as he could.

He didn’t realize he’d fallen asleep until he was woken up by Chris being jostled next to him.

“Wha…?” Buck slurred sleepily.

His eyes adjusted to the dark, and he saw Eddie, crouched down and shaking Chris’s shoulder. Chris blinked at the both of them blearily.

“C’mon, time for you to go to bed,” Eddie said, his voice hushed.

“Don’t wanna,” Chris grumbled, tightening his arms around Buck. “Wanna sleep here.”

Buck ran a soothing hand up his back, “Baby, it’s a school night.”

“Ugh,” Chris groaned, sounding appropriately disgruntled. “I’m comfy.”

“I know, kiddo,” Buck agreed sympathetically, now a little more awake. “But you gotta go to your own bed. Can you? For me?”

“Okay,” Chris relented after a moment, sitting up. He used Eddie’s arm for balance as he got up form the bed. Eddie led him out of the room, presumably to brush his teeth and get ready for bed.

Buck snuggled into the covers, waiting for Eddie to join him.

He waited, and waited, and waited.

Yet Eddie never came back.

With great effort, he untangled himself from the array of blankets and covers he was under, making a mental note to return Chris’s blanket to his room in the morning. He padded down the hallway, rubbing at his eyes with his fist.

He was confused by the sight of Christopher’s closed bedroom door and the bathroom light turned off.

When he got to the living room, he stopped dead in his tracks.

Eddie was laid out on the couch with a blanket and pillow, as if he was intending to sleep there all night.

“Eds?” Buck prompted hesitantly. “What are you doing? Come to bed.”

“I’m sleeping here,” Eddie said flatly.

Buck’s stomach sank.

Eddie didn’t even want to sleep in the same bed as him.

The thought of going back to his nest without Eddie made him feel vaguely sick. He couldn’t do it.

He shuffled over to the plush red armchair next to the couch—the one that was rarely used. He curled up into it, folding his legs and shoving his palm under his chin for support. He closed his eyes, preparing himself for a night of uncomfortable sleep, but at the very least, he’d have Eddie close by.

“What are you doing?” Eddie prompted.

Buck yawned. “What does it look like? I’m gonna sleep here.”

Eddie made an unhappy noise. “Jesus. No, you’re not. You’re gonna hurt your back.”

“So are you,” Buck mumbled. “If you’re not coming to bed, then I’m going to sleep right here.”

“You’re impossible,” Eddie muttered.

Buck cracked his eyes open. “I’ve been called worse.”

“That’s not—” Eddie huffed, sounding frustrated. “I’m mad at you.”

Buck took that in, watching him.

“You can be mad at me,” Buck said tiredly. “You can be mad at me all you want tomorrow.” He sucked in a breath, his chin wobbling. “Even though you’re mad at me, can I still hold you? Please?”

“I thought you wanted space,” Eddie said, sounding equally as tired.

“Right then, yeah. Not all night. Not forever,” Buck huffed.

“I think some space right now might do us some good,” Eddie said quietly.

Buck curled further in on himself.

He didn’t say anything. He didn’t know what he could say to make this better.

He looked over as Eddie peeled back his blanket, scrubbing his hands over his face. He stood up, holding his hand out to Buck.

“I’m not going to bed. Not without you,” Buck insisted.

Eddie pressed his lips together. “You are. Because I’m asking you to.”

Buck stared at his hand before he relented, allowing Eddie to pull him up. As soon as he was standing, he snaked his arms around Eddie’s waist, holding onto him desperately.

“C’mon,” Eddie whispered tenderly, oh so tenderly.

Something shattered in Buck at the fact that Eddie could still be so gentle with him, even when he was upset. He knew Eddie was quick to anger when he was hurt, leftovers from a childhood where it was taught and reinforced that the only emotion he was allowed to show readily was anger. When he was hurt, he’d get angry, and say things he didn’t mean—things he’d regret and feel guilty about later. He didn’t wear his hurt on his sleeve like Buck. He didn’t have an older sister with calm, understanding eyes, who’d kiss over all his bruises and reassure him that it was okay for him to cry. That he could let his emotions overflow, and he wasn’t any weaker for it.

Eddie had little sisters he had to be strong for, and parents who hovered disapprovingly, instead of being absent. He’d bottled up any signs of weakness, went to war, and yet came to Buck with tenderness.

Buck fisted his hands in Eddie’s shirt as Eddie returned his embrace, running a hand up his spine.

He urged Buck towards their bedroom, his hand remaining on his back.

He sat Buck on the edge of their bed. Buck dug his fingers into the soft flesh at Eddie’s sides, not wanting to relinquish his grip.

“I’m sorry,” Buck said hoarsely, brokenly.

Eddie sighed, seemingly with his entire body. “Yeah,” He said, taking Buck’s hands from off his hips.

He leaned down, and Buck’s eyes fluttered shut as he pressed a kiss over his birthmark. Hope flickered in his chest, a brief spark in the ocean of despair.

“Get some sleep,” Eddie murmured against his birthmark. He took a step back, and Buck missed his warmth.

“Okay,” Buck said, his voice breaking. “Only because you asked me to.”

He laid back, watching Eddie leave the room.

Somehow their bed felt emptier now, with Eddie a room away, than it had the entire time he was in Texas.

—

Buck tossed and turned for most of the night.

He managed to sneak in three scant hours of sleep once the sun had started to peek in through their curtains.

When he woke up, he felt more exhausted than when he had gone to sleep and was gifted with a pounding headache behind his temples.

After gathering the energy to get up and out of bed, he noticed that the house was quiet.

Eddie had already taken Chris to school and headed out to work.

He hadn’t woken him up or even left a note.

Buck was incensed.

They didn’t do that. Even when they were angry, or fighting, or whatever it was they were doing.

Buck showered, yanked on his uniform, and climbed into his Jeep, all the while grumbling to himself.

Arriving at the station, he threw his gear bag into his locker with more force than was necessary and stomped into one of the spare offices where he’d been relegated to paperwork.

He filled out forms angrily, scratching over Eddie’s stupid, messy, chicken-scratch handwriting. He simmered, sending out a short-tempered email reminding everyone on A-shift to turn in their damaged gear reports on time, and to not leave sections blank.

Within a few hours, he had to take a break. His head was throbbing, and his vision had begun to swim while reading through the reports he needed to submit by the end of the day. His throat was raw, and his stomach kept churning. Not in the weird fluttering way he’d gotten accustomed to, that meant the girls were tumbling around, but in the way that was poorly concealed nausea.

Fuck. He needed to eat something.

He got up from his desk, wincing as the knee and ankle joint of his bad leg heavily protested the movement, stiff from being in one position for too long. His headache pulsed, and he squeezed his eyes shut, rubbing at his temples.

“You doing okay, Buckaroo?” Chimney’s voice came out of nowhere, and Buck jumped about a foot, nearly knocking over the stack of papers on the edge of his desk.

“Jesus,” Buck groaned, holding a hand over his heart that was now thudding rapidly. “You about gave me a heart attack.”

“Sorry,” Chim said, holding up his hands. “Didn’t mean to scare you. I wasn’t exactly being quiet.”

“Ugh,” Buck said, back to rubbing at his temples.

“You aren’t looking so hot,” Chimney said, frowning.

“Fuck you, I’m always hot,” Buck replied, though it lacked his usual little brother charm. “I’m fine. It’s just a headache. I probably need to eat something,” he admitted.

Chimney hummed. “Let’s head up to the kitchen. I’m sure it would make Eddie and Bobby’s day to fuss over you.”

“Yeah, I don’t know about that,” Buck muttered darkly.

“I saw you two didn’t come into work together,” Chimney said, slipping his hands into his pockets. “And Eddie’s been pissier than usual. Are things alright between you two?”

“Oh, peachy,” Buck snarked. “You know, except he won’t look at me, or talk to me. I think I’ve worked my way from trying to get him to stop being mad at me to being mad that he is mad at me.”

“That sounds healthy,” Chimney quipped.

“Yeah, well, what would you know about it?” Buck bitched, then immediately regretted it. “Sorry,” He said. “My head just really fucking hurts.”

“No harm, no foul,” Chimney said easily. “Though, we should definitely get some food in you before you Hulk out.”

“Do you think Bobby would make me an omelet?” Buck asked hopefully.

Chimney laughed. “I think Bobby would make you anything you ever wanted if you put those Buckley puppy eyes to use.”

Buck grimaced as he followed Chimney out of the office, his joints twinging. Chimney slung Buck’s arm over his shoulder to support him.

“You’re limping,” He said, sounding concerned.

“My leg’s also acting up today,” Buck said, feigning nonchalance. “Joint pain, one of the many wonders of pregnancy. I don’t know, it’s probably gonna rain tomorrow.”

“I didn’t see that on the forecast,” Chimney said, steering him over to and up the stairs that led to the kitchen loft.

Buck gritted his teeth with each painful step. Goosebumps rose along his arms, and he shivered. “Jesus, it’s cold out here.”

“It’s the same temperature it normally is,” Chimney said, and Buck didn’t like how the concern in his voice was only growing.

“Buck?” Bobby asked, turning from where he was chopping vegetables next to the stove. He eyed Buck and Chim warily.

Chimney all about forced him down onto the couch, tutting as he wrapped the black and red flannel throw blanket around Buck’s shoulders.

“He’s hungry and has a headache,” Chimney called over to Bobby.

“Chim—” Buck protested weakly.

“He wants an omelet," Chimney continued. He glanced back at Buck. “Any other requests?”

Buck ducked his head, sinking into the blanket. He was a lot warmer now. “Cheese, and veggies, and lots of peppers.”

“You got that?” Chimney said to Bobby, content, it seemed, talking over Buck’s head.

“One omelet with cheese, veggies, and lots of peppers,” Bobby confirmed. “I think I can do that.”

“God, it’s freezing in here,” Buck mumbled, bundling himself tighter into the blanket.

“Sure, buddy,” Chimney said, taking on the tone usually reserved for when Jee was rattling off a nonsensical story they all didn’t have the heart to tell her they weren’t following.

Chimney patted his shoulder, making his way over to Bobby.

Buck kicked his feet up, slipping sideways on the couch until he was horizontal. He could hear Bobby and Chimney frantically whispering to each other from out his periphery, but couldn’t parse what they were saying.

He slipped his eyes shut, burying his face into the cushion underneath him. He was incredibly drained; however, his head hurt too much for him to fall asleep.

He must have dozed off, though, because it appeared after no time at all, Chimney was shaking his shoulder, plate in hand.

“Oh, thanks,” Buck said, sitting up and taking the plate from him.

He was starving.

He dug into the omelet like it was his last meal, shoving each bite into his mouth with gusto.

“This is so good,” He said emphatically, his mouth full. “Best thing I’ve ever tasted.”

“Glad to know my omelet skills haven’t gotten too rusty,” Bobby said lightly. He paused, his eyes raking over Buck with furrowed brows. “You know, kid—” he started.

He was cut off by the sound of the call-alarm blaring.

He sighed. “We’ll be back. Help yourself to anything else if you’re still hungry.”

“Got it, Cap,” Buck said after swallowing his mouthful of food. “Be safe, okay?”

Bobby nodded, softening. “I’ll watch out for him. I always do,” he said, knowing exactly what Buck was asking without him having to say it.

Buck watched Chimney and Bobby scamper off to grab their gear and get into the truck. It still felt strange not running after them, into the fray.

Buck put a hand over his bump. “Guess it’s just me and you guys now, huh?” He whispered, more to himself than anything.

—

The minute the truck rolled back into the station, Buck got a bad feeling in the pit of his stomach.

His skin itched, and a pit opened up in his stomach. Alarm bells went off in the back of his head.

Something was wrong.

He could feel it.

He stood up frantically, taking the steps down from the loft two at a time, his headache and achey joints completely forgotten in the surge of adrenaline pumping through him.

“Where is he?” Buck shouted as Bobby caught him by the arm. He barely recognized his own voice.

“He’s fine,” Bobby said calmly, too calmly, in Buck’s opinion. His tone was the one he slipped into whenever he was attempting to console a frenzied spouse.

Buck never wanted to be on the other end of that tone.

“Buck, hey,” Bobby said, urging him to look at him. “He’s fine. It was a little fall, and he was checked out at the scene. Hen’s double-checking him right now.”

Chimney flanked his other side. “None of his ribs are broken, and he passed all the concussion protocols in the field. He’s okay.”

“If he’s fine, then you’ll let me see him,” Buck growled, shaking off Bobby’s arm.

He spotted Ravi a few feet from the truck.

Buck ripped himself away from Bobby and Chim, stalking towards him. “You’re supposed to have his back,” Buck hissed at him. Ravi’s eyes went wide. “You’re supposed to have his back because I can’t right now. You promised me!”

“Buck, that’s enough,” Bobby said, pulling him back from where he’d gotten into Ravi’s space, pointing a finger at his chest.

Buck barred his teeth, ready to growl at him again, when Eddie’s voice cut through.

“Buck.”

Buck whipped around wildly, only settling when his eyes locked on Eddie.

He had one arm cradling his side, the other supporting his weight on the open ambulance door. He was painted in streaks of soot, with a large cut spanning from one side of his forehead, diagonally until it petered off over his brow.

“Eddie,” Buck breathed, rushing over to him on shaky limbs he couldn’t quite get to work right.

He hopped up on the ambulance steps, pushing Eddie backwards, forcing him to sit on the edge of the gurney. Buck’s hands flew over every inch of his body he could reach, not knowing where to focus or start.

Eddie was here. He was breathing. He was all in one piece.

“Baby,” Buck choked out, his voice drowning and creaky. “What happened?”

He cupped Eddie’s cheeks as softly as he could.

Eddie shook his hands away. “I’m fine, Buck, seriously,” He grunted. “I just really want a shower.”

Buck felt the distance between them like a physical gaping hole. He was drifting asunder, with icicles pricking at every inch of skin that was no longer touching Eddie.

“Yeah,” He said, swallowing down all the hurt that was tearing its way through his chest. “Go take a shower.”

Eddie slid past him, stepping out of the ambulance with a poorly concealed groan.

The second he was out of Buck’s sight, Buck snatched one of the first aid kits in the ambulance to his left.

His hands shook, and he clenched his jaw.

If Eddie wanted to be stubborn, he could be stubborn, too.

—

Buck perched himself on the sink counter, the first aid kit next to him. He listened to the sounds of the shower spray beating against the tile as Eddie showered.

Wisely, nobody else had followed them in.

Buck was grateful.

He crossed his arms over his chest, swinging his legs. With his hands tucked, he willed them not to shake.

When the water cut off, Buck took a deep breath, steadying himself.

Eddie came out of the shower, a towel wrapped around his waist. The cut on his forehead was an even starker red now that a layer of soot was no longer covering it. A purple bruise was already coloring the side of his torso.

Buck made a small noise that came from the back of his throat.

Eddie straightened, his eyes landing on Buck.

“Buck. I’m fine.”

Buck shook his head. “We don’t do that. We don’t do this.” He gestured between them. “We still take care of each other, even when we’re mad.” He clicked open the first aid kit. “Don’t make me force you.”

“Oh, yeah? And how would you force me?” Eddie wondered out loud.

Buck narrowed his eyes. “I live with you. You can’t escape me.”

The corner of Eddie’s mouth crooked up, like it was an involuntary result of his amusement, he was doing his best not to show.

“You gonna sneak up on me with a first aid kit in the middle of the night?”

“I will if you don’t come over here,” Buck said, like it was a threat, though he didn’t think he was very threatening.

“Can I at least put my pants on?” Eddie asked, brushing his hair out of his face.

Buck pretended to consider it. “I’ll allow it,” He said magnanimously.

Eddie rolled his eyes, and Buck took that as a good sign that his head was doing okay.

Eddie dropped his towel, slipping into a pair of basketball shorts. There was no point in him putting his uniform back on. Bobby would no doubt take them offline for a few hours after a call like the one they’d just been on, and Eddie would likely be benched for the rest of his shift with his injury, even if it was not as bad as he kept claiming.

He came over to Buck, sidling in between his parted legs.

“What happened?” Buck asked, carefully neutral as he lined up the butterfly bandages, alcohol swabs, and arnica cream on the counter.

“A pipe blew. I caught the worst of it because I was standing right by it. It knocked me down, and I nicked my head on the corner of a dresser in the room. Not exactly heroic.” Eddie told him wryly.

“Your ribs?” Buck prodded.

“Also the dresser,” Eddie murmured.

Buck eased one of his fingers under Eddie’s chin, tilting his head from side to side. He’d have a nasty bruise around the area of the cut. It was just shallow enough that he didn’t need stitches. There was also a bluish bruise forming on the side of his jaw.

A whine trapped itself in his throat. “It got your pretty face.”

Eddie exhaled a puff of air that Buck knew was a laugh. “That’s usually my line.”

Buck grabbed the penlight, and shined it in Eddie’s eyes with no warning.

Eddie flinched back. “Jesus, Buck.” His hand wrapped itself around Buck’s wrist, yanking it away. “Hen and Chim already checked me out and said I didn’t have a concussion.”

Buck stuck out his bottom lip. “Humor me?”

“All I do is humor you,” Eddie muttered. He softened. “Okay, baby.”

Syrupy warmth filled Buck’s veins. Eddie hadn’t called him a pet name in nearly two days, and he’d been sorely missing it. He missed all the gooey names Eddie would call him as much as he missed his touch, his scent, and his kisses. Now that he’d had them, he couldn’t fathom how he’d gone years without them.

Buck shined the light in Eddie’s eyes, watching raptly as his pupils contracted, and he got a little lost in the brown he’d grown to love so much.

“Equal and reactive?” Eddie prompted.

Buck cleared his throat. “Touch your nose with each hand.”

Eddie leaned into his space, maintaining direct eye contact with him as he slowly touched his nose with his left hand, then his right.

“Satisfied?” Eddie whispered.

“I’m not done with you yet,” Buck said, breaking their eye contact to snap on a pair of gloves. He ripped open the packet that the alcohol wipes were in. “This is gonna sting.”

“I appreciate the warning this time,” Eddie snarked.

As lightly and tenderly as he could, Buck wiped over the cut on Eddie’s forehead. He winced in sympathy whenever Eddie winced, and set the wipe aside to be tossed when he was fully finished. He tore off the paper backs of the butterfly bandages and pressed the skin together as he placed the bandages neatly along the cut.

Buck glanced up and down Eddie’s bare torso, shifting him to the side so he could get a good look at his back.

“You said a pipe blew. Any burns?” He asked, searching for any patches of red on his skin.

“Nah,” Eddie said. “No burns.”

Buck breathed out a sigh of relief. “That’s good.”

Bruises would heal, and even the cut on his forehead would probably heal with minimal scarring. Burns were a whole other beast. Though, Buck knew he would love Eddie just as fiercely even if most of his body was covered in burns.

He lathered the arnica cream onto his gloves, rubbing some delicately over the area not bandaged on Eddie’s forehead, and over his jaw.

He squeezed out more, pausing before tackling Eddie’s side. “Don’t squirm, this is going to tickle.”

“I’m not ticklish. You’re ticklish,” Eddie fired back.

Buck rolled his eyes. “I am ticklish. At least I admit it. You’re ticklish under your ribs.”

“Fine,” Eddie huffed. “Do your worst, tickle monster.”

Gently, Buck worked the cream into Eddie’s skin. He made sure to use even, sure strokes, so as not to tickle him, or aggravate the tender flesh.

He peeled his gloves off once he was done, organizing everything back into its rightful place in the first aid kit.

“All finished? Can I get dressed now?” Eddie pressed, with a teasing lilt to his voice.

“Yeah,” Buck said, closing the first aid kit. He hopped off the counter, hiding his grimace as his ankle throbbed, sending a bolt of pain up through his leg. His headache was beginning to resurface, too, now that the adrenaline of seeing Eddie hurt was slowly leaving him.

He trailed after Eddie, exiting the locker room. His shift was over now, and he knew it was time for him to head out, despite every part of him protesting at leaving Eddie behind. It was unnatural for them to no longer go home at the same time.

“Thanks for letting me do that,” Buck said quietly, once they had reached the outskirts of the ambulance bay. “Even though we’re in the middle of this stupid fight.”

He knew immediately he’d said the wrong thing when Eddie reared back.

“Stupid?” Eddie repeated incredulously. “You think me being pissed because you hid shit from me is stupid?”

“That’s not what I was—” Buck attempted to cut in, but Eddie wouldn’t let him.

“Right. No. I get it. You think I’m just making a big deal about nothing. You don’t even understand why I’m upset. This is why we have to keep having the same argument. You think you get to make all the decisions for everyone instead of just fucking talking to me,” Eddie snapped, his voice raising at the end.

“How am I supposed to talk to you when you just keep yelling at me?” Buck cried, throwing up his hands, his head throbbing with every word.

“That’s not fair and you know it,” Eddie hissed.

Buck opened his mouth to retort, but was interrupted by Bobby’s booming voice, silencing them.

“Diaz,” Bobby called out. Buck and Eddie both snapped their heads up to look at where Bobby was standing, arms rested on the railing above them. He jerked his head to the side. “Let’s take a walk,” He said sternly, leaving no room for argument.

Eddie’s jaw ticked.

Buck glanced away. He listened to the sound of Eddie stomping up the stairs, meeting Bobby where he was.

Buck bit his lip harshly, willing himself not to cry.

He didn’t know how things had gotten so fucked up. And worse yet, he didn’t know how to fix them.

—

Buck spent the next little while packing up the paperwork in his office and getting all his stuff together to go home. There was no point in trying to work anything out with Eddie that night. Exhaustion, deep and all-consuming, had settled in his bones. His throat hurt, his leg ached, and he knew he’d be running on fumes, merely surviving the drive home.

He’d resolved himself to another night alone in their bed.

He couldn’t even fool himself into believing it was because Eddie was still on shift, when he knew the truth. He was going home to an empty bed because Eddie didn’t want to share it with him.

He locked his locker and propped his gear bag over his shoulder. He scrubbed a hand over his face, turning around.

He was greeted with the sight of Eddie, his arms crossed over his chest, and his hip cocked against the door frame of the locker room.

“Hey,” he said tentatively. “Can we talk? Please? I promise I won’t yell.”

Buck sucked in a breath, closing his eyes. This was what he had wanted. He almost had the urge to laugh at the irony. Eddie was giving him what he wanted when he was too tired to actually engage.

He slid his eyes open.

“No,” He said simply.

Eddie blinked at him. “No?”

“No, Eds. I’m fucking exhausted,” Buck told him honestly. “I have nothing productive to say to you right now.”

“Buck—”

Buck held up his hand. “If you really wanna talk, we can wait ‘til tomorrow. I’m going home.”

“Okay,” Eddie conceded after a moment, though he didn’t look happy about it.

He stepped back to stop blocking the door for Buck’s exit. He did, however, grab Buck’s arm on his way out.

“Just—” Eddie said, sounding desperate. “I love you, okay?”

Buck let out a breath he hadn’t realized he’d been holding for two days. “I love you, too,” He told him. “I’ll see you at home?”

“Yeah,” Eddie promised. “As soon as I get off shift.” He pulled Buck a little closer, close enough that he could kiss his birthmark. “Go get some sleep, baby. You do look exhausted.”

Buck gave him a tired smile, the best he could manage, and eased out of Eddie’s grip to head out to his Jeep.

—

“Buck?” Chris’s voice woke him up.

The drive home from the station had been a feat and a half. He’d initially turned his radio on, his usual trick for staying awake on long drives, but it had only increased the pounding in his head, so he had turned it off, driving in silence instead.

By the time he got home, he barely had enough energy to toe off his shoes by the door and dump his gear bag so it was out of the way, before he collapsed in bed, achey and shivery.

“Chris? Is everything okay?” Buck asked blearily, his voice completely shot. His mouth and throat were as dry as sandpaper, and his headache was a dull roar, still ever-present.

He coughed, and the action caused shivers to wrack through him, his teeth chattering, despite being tangled underneath every blanket on his and Eddie’s bed.

“Are you okay?” Chris flipped the question back on him.

“Yeah, I—” Buck started, then tried to sit up hastily, his head valiantly protesting. “Shoot, I have to take you to school.”

Chris stared at him oddly. “Buck, it’s like, nine PM. You don’t have to take me to school.”

“Oh,” Buck said, relieved. He wasn’t sure if he could be trusted behind the wheel of a car right about now. “Did you have dinner? I can make you dinner.”

Now Chris looked worried. “I had dinner at Aunt Maddie’s house before she took me home. You already asked when you came home.”

“Did I?” Buck whispered to himself. “I don’t remember.”

Chris reached his hand out, pressing his cool palm against Buck’s forehead. He frowned once he pulled his hand away. “You’re really warm. I’m gonna call Dad.”

Buck shut his eyes, laying back onto the bed. His eyes felt really heavy.

“Dad? Yeah, I’m okay. It’s— it’s Buck,” He heard Christopher say. “I don’t know. I think he has a fever? He was asking me weird questions and he looks really bad.” There was a pause, then Christopher said flatly. “Dad, he thought he had to take me to school.” Another pause. “Yeah, I can do that.”

Christopher clamored off the bed. He returned with a thermometer that he all about shoved under Buck’s tongue.

“Ow,” Buck whined, taking it out of Chris’s hand to adjust it himself.

“Close your mouth,” Chris commanded, all business.

When the thermometer beeped, he plucked it from Buck’s lips, balancing his phone in the crook of his shoulder.

“It’s 101.8,” Chris said into the phone. “Yeah, I know where that is.” He didn’t take his eyes off Buck. “I’ll pack a bag when you get here. I don’t want to leave him alone right now.”

Chris tossed his phone to the side, and Buck guessed he must have hung up. Time was moving a little strangely for him.

Chris patted his knee through the hoard of blankets. “Don’t move,” He instructed sternly, getting up from the bed again to leave the room.

All of Buck’s limbs were heavy and he wasn’t sure if he could move much.

He hadn’t realized he’d begun to doze off until Chris was shaking his shoulder. Buck sat up worriedly, his mind fuzzy. “Chris, are you okay?”

“I’m fine, Buck. Stop asking me that,” Chris said, sounding far more concerned than he ever should. He dropped two Tylenol in Buck’s palm and held out a glass of water. “Dad said you need to take these to bring your fever down.”

“Oh,” Buck said, squinting at the pills. “You talked to your dad?”

“Yes. Like ten minutes ago. You were here,” Chris stressed. “Take those, please.”

“Okay, bud,” Buck agreed, swallowing the pills handed to him with the glass of water. He chugged down most of the glass, relishing how good the water felt on his dry throat.

Chris took the glass from his shaking hands when he was finished, setting it on the nightstand. He then wriggled up the bed until he was curled up at Buck’s side.

“Dad will know what to do when he gets home,” Chris said quietly, and Buck didn’t know if he was saying it to him or himself. “He knows how to make people feel better.”

“Yeah,” Buck mumbled sleepily. “He’s good at that.” He nestled Chris’s scrawny frame even closer, breathing in his scent.

The next thing Buck was aware of in his haze was Chris’s warmth leaving his side. He whined pitifully at having his pup leave him.

“Buck, hey, it’s me,” He heard Eddie’s voice say distantly. He leaned towards it, like a flower searching out the sun. Hands petted over his body, and he arched into the touch of each one.

“Eds?” He croaked, peeling his eyes open with great effort.

Eddie’s face swam into his vision, looking stricken.

“I’m here, baby, I’m here,” Eddie crooned. He placed the back of his hand on Buck’s forehead, cursing. “Fuck, sweetheart, you’re burning up.”

“Eddie,” Buck said, like it was the only word he knew. He held open his arms, and Eddie didn’t hesitate in yanking him into his lap, giving Buck the opportunity to fling his arms around his neck.

“Shh, I got you, baby, I got you,” Eddie soothed, and it occurred to Buck then that he’d been whining into his neck, shuddering.

Eddie’s hands raked up and down his spine, practically rocking him.

“Eds, I don’t feel good,” Buck whimpered, smushing his nose into Eddie’s neck as he took greedy gulps of his scent.

“I know, baby. I’m going to take you to the hospital, okay?” Eddie crooned, placing kisses everywhere his lips could reach.

Buck hiccuped around a sob, nosing at Eddie’s scent gland. “Missed your scent.”

He felt Eddie freeze, before his grip on him tightened. “Fuck,” Eddie swore loudly. “Of course, I–” He cut himself short. “I’ve got you.”

He slid his hand up to the back of Buck’s nape, pressing Buck’s face further into his neck. He rubbed his wrist along Buck’s scent gland until Buck’s breaths stopped hitching and he was able to take a deep breath, his shivers momentarily subsiding.

“C’mere,” Eddie whispered, pulling Buck’s face away from his neck just long enough that he could run his hand down Buck’s face, scent marking him properly.

Almost like magic, the headache that had been throbbing at the front of his temples for nearly two days ebbed away.

“Cmon,” Eddie said tenderly. “Let’s get you to the hospital.”

“No,” Buck whimpered, mouthing at Eddie’s scent gland. “Wanna stay here with you.”

“I’m not going anywhere,” Eddie assured him firmly, shifting Buck around in his lap so his legs wrapped themselves around his waist. “I’ll be right with you the whole time.”

“Okay,” Buck relented, sagging in Eddie’s embrace.

Eddie kissed the side of his temple. “That’s my boy,” He said, and lifted Buck with a grunt. Buck clung to him desperately, legs locked around his waist and arms looped around his neck.

“Chris?” Buck asked frenziedly once Eddie had carried him out to the living room.

“He’s gonna spend the night at Maddie’s,” Eddie placated him. “He’s packing a bag right now, and she’s already on her way to pick him up.”

“Oh,” Buck breathed. “Okay.”

“Chris!” Eddie called over his shoulder. “Make sure you lock up when Maddie comes and gets you.”

“Got it, Dad!” Buck heard Chris call back from his bedroom.

Eddie kicked open the door, and Buck clung to him tighter.

“Eds,” He fretted as Eddie got him into the car. “Your ribs.”

Eddie shook his head, buckling Buck in. He dragged his hand down Buck’s face for good measure, and Buck’s head went pleasantly fuzzy.

“I don’t really give a shit about my ribs right now, baby,” Eddie tutted gently. “We can worry about ‘em when you’re safe and sound.”

“I am safe,” Buck insisted, his words coming out slightly slurred. “I’m always safe when I’m with you.”

Buck frowned as he watched Eddie’s expression shift into one that looked heartbroken.

He kissed Buck’s forehead. “Hang tight, baby.”

He closed the passenger side door with a soft click, and rounded his truck to climb into the driver’s seat.

After he had backed out of the driveway, he reached his hand over to soothe his thumb over Buck’s scent gland, rubbing it in small circles.

Buck hummed, circling one of his own hands around Eddie’s wrist, to keep him there.

He faded in and out, his head lulling back against the headrest.

He came crashing back into his body when the car came to a stop and he watched Eddie get out of the car. He whined, high and thready. He was halted by Eddie tearing open the door next to him and crouching by his side.

Eddie laid his hand over Buck’s forehead, clicking his tongue before pulling it away. “You’re still really warm, baby,” He said quietly. He brushed some of Buck’s sweaty curls out of his face, turning his jaw so he was forced to look him in the eye. “Okay, I need you to be really good for me. Can you do that, baby?”

Buck nodded, still caught in a fog.

Good. Yes, he could be good. He wanted to be good. He could be good for Eddie. His Alpha.

“That’s it. That’s my good boy,” Eddie said, his voice syrupy and sweet. “I need you to tell me everything you’re feeling and everything you’ve been feeling so I can tell the doctors. I want to know everything, even if you think it’s nothing, or not a big deal, okay?”

Buck continued to nod. He could do that. He licked his lips, taking stock of his body. He did his best to focus and remember everything that had felt wrong. “I had a headache today, and it wouldn’t go away,” Buck offered while Eddie nodded encouragingly. “My joints hurt, and my leg was acting up. I was tired…umm, and really cold? Like shivery and shaky. And my throat really hurts.”

“Okay,” Eddie said, appearing to hang on to every word. “You’ve been feeling like this all day?”

“Last night a little, too,” Buck murmured.

“Alright,” Eddie said, pressing another kiss to his forehead. “You did so good.” He kissed both of his cheeks. “Thank you for telling me.”

Buck melted under Eddie’s praise while Eddie unbuckled his seatbelt. He slid his hands under Buck’s thighs, urging him into the right position so that he could carry him once more.

Buck took the hint, grasping onto him. He didn’t waste any time in burying his face into Eddie’s neck, sucking in his scent happily.

Eddie carried him across the parking lot and through the double doors of the ER. The second they were over the threshold, he started barking orders, using the commanding tone he saved for when they were in the field. It made Buck shiver. He liked it when Eddie was commanding.

“I need a gurney, now. I have an Omega in the middle of drop sickness, history of OAS, and nineteen weeks pregnant with twins. Fever of 101.8 before Tylenol was administered, headache, sore joints, fatigue, and confusion,” Eddie rattled off.

Buck heard a foreign voice say, “You got it. Captain Nash already let us know you had a patient en route.” There was a loaded pause. “Buckley?”

“He’s the patient,” Eddie growled, and deposited Buck onto a gurney.

“Right,” the voice—Buck recognized belatedly belonged to a doctor they saw regularly on med calls—said, back to professional mode. “You said it was Omega drop sickness. What’s the status on his bond mate?”

“I’m his bond mate,” Eddie said without missing a beat. “I’m right here.”

“Oh, congratulations?” the doctor said unsurely, and Buck couldn’t hold in his snort. “Well, that makes things simpler. We’re gonna run an IV and sedate him for the time being, and get some cooling blankets to hopefully bring down this fever. I’m gonna have you stick close to keep scenting him, alright?”

“Copy,” Eddie replied. Buck clawed out blindly until his hand latched around Eddie’s forearm, trailing its way until he reached Eddie’s fingers, tangling them with his own in a tight grip. “I’m right here, baby,” Eddie promised him, squeezing his hand. “I’ll be right here. I won’t leave you for a second.”

“Let’s prep the IV,” the doctor said. “We’re gonna push fluids and lorazepam for sedation as soon as it’s in. Does he have any allergies?”

“Naproxen,” Eddie told them. “He doesn’t do well with NSAIDs in general.”

“Noted,” the doctor replied, and Buck felt the uncomfortable tightness of the rubber tourniquet wrapped around his upper arm before the pinch of a needle in the crook of his elbow, blessedly the opposite arm he’d gotten his blood taken from only two days previously.

“Eds, the girls—” Buck insisted through his dry mouth.

“I’m worried about you right now, baby,” Eddie said, giving his hand another squeeze. “I’ll make sure they check on the girls. Don’t fight the sedation.”

“Mmkay,” Buck muttered, his blinks getting heavier and heavier. He doubted he could fight the sedation even if he tried. Exhaustion lined every inch of his body, down to his bones.

“Just go to sleep. I’ll be here when you wake up,” Eddie vowed.

And Buck believed him, as his eyes slipped closed and his limbs went lax. If Eddie said he would be there, he would be. He never backed out of a promise.

Even when life got in the way, Eddie managed to remain at his side. He had stayed despite Buck’s half-hearted attempts at pushing him away.

With that comfort in mind, he allowed himself to fully relax, his mind going blank as he floated into a medicated sleep.

—

When Buck woke up, it didn’t take him long to figure out he was in the hospital.

He squinted as the fluorescent lights assaulted his eyes, and his mouth was painfully dry. He went to put a hand over his bump, to feel it as he sat up, but something tugged at his arm.

An IV.

The events leading up to his hospitalization were fragmented as he parsed through them in his head.

There was only one thing on his mind, the most pressing of all.

“The girls—” He croaked out.

Eddie was by his side within seconds. “The girls are fine,” he said quickly. “They got your fever down pretty quickly, okay? They’re alright. We checked on them while you were still out.”

Buck grabbed his hand. “You’re sure?”

Eddie nodded. “Heard their heartbeats and everything. They’re safe and sound.”

Buck slumped, taking in a deep breath to calm his own racing heart.

“I can call the doctor back in to check again— if you need to see for yourself,” Eddie suggested.

“No, I—” Buck swallowed, bringing Eddie’s hand to rest over his bump. “If you say they’re fine, then they’re fine. I trust you.”

Eddie let out a short, self-deprecating huff of a laugh, sitting back onto the hospital chair that had been yanked from the wall to be next to Buck’s bedside.

“You shouldn’t,” Eddie said, and Buck could see that his eyes were wet. The bruises from their last shift had fully bloomed, painting an ugly purple over his jaw and forehead. “I mean, I went and proved your point.”

“My point?” Buck prompted confusedly, not following.

“This is all my fault. I got so caught up in you not telling me and my pride that I let myself stay mad at you for something that didn’t matter.” Eddie said, sounding wrecked.

“If it upset you then it mattered,” Buck said softly.

Eddie fixed his gaze on a spot on the wall. “I didn’t even have an excuse this time. I knew you had OAS, and I didn’t scent you for two days. I could feel something was off yesterday and I ignored it, and then you dropped, again, because I couldn’t do my one job, which was to take care of you.”

“Eds, honey, you do take care of me,” Buck said, and he didn’t want Eddie to think otherwise for even a moment. Ever since Eddie had walked into the fire house on his first day he’d been taking care of him.

“Don’t do that,” Eddie said, his voice wavering. “Don’t defend me. You always defend me. I let you down. I abandoned you. I hurt you. You always defend me even when I’ve hurt you.”

“I hurt you, too,” Buck reminded him. “And I defend you because you’ll never defend yourself.”

“You shouldn’t. You deserve better,” Eddie said, and hearing Eddie say that was so much worse than any of the fighting they’d done in the last few days.

“I don’t want better, I want you,” Buck said, suddenly feeling the space between them like a gaping wound. “Come here.”

“You said that we still take care of each other even when we’re mad, and I didn’t do that,” Eddie barrelled on. “I took out all my anger at myself on you, and now you’re stuck with me when I can’t—”

“Edmundo Ramon Diaz if you don’t get over here right now I’m going to rip this IV out and come to you,” Buck threatened, his tone sharp. “I’ll do it.”

Eddie’s eyes widened. “Buck—”

“Come here,” Buck repeated, his voice thick.

“Is something wrong?” Eddie said, launching himself out of the chair to fuss over Buck at his bedside.

“Yeah, something’s wrong,” Buck told him indignantly. “You’re talking shit about the love of my life and I don’t like that.”

Eddie raked his hands through his hair. “I fucked up.”

Now that Eddie was near enough, Buck grabbed at his forearm, yanking him closer. “Come here right now.”

“I can’t get any closer,” Eddie protested.

“Get in the bed,” Buck commanded, shuffling to the side so that his back aligned with the plastic railing.

“We’re not both going to fit,” Eddie said, causing Buck to narrow his eyes.

“Then I’ll make us fit,” Buck huffed petulantly.

“Okay, okay, let me just…” Eddie relented, bending down to untie his work boots and kick them off. He managed to fold down the railing on his side, giving him an opening to lie in the small space Buck had provided for him.

Once he was on the bed, Buck splayed out on top of him, tucking his face into his neck.

“See, told you I’d make us fit,” Buck said lightly, bunching up Eddie’s work shirt in his fists.

“I shouldn’t have gotten mad,” Eddie said, then let out a surprised yelp as Buck reared his head up, nearly clocking him in the chin in his haste.

“I like that you got mad,” Buck told him, starting to get fired up.

Eddie made a face that was hopelessly confused. “You like that I was mad and shitty with you?”

“Yeah, because I like you, stupid,” Buck huffed, pointing one of his fingers into Eddie’s chest. “I fell in love with you. You don’t bullshit me, you don’t walk on eggshells around me. You get mad and tell me how you feel. I kept something from you. You had a right to be angry. Okay, sure, you said some stuff that I hope you didn’t mean, but you do that. I know you do that. I know you. You get mad and say shit you don’t mean and then feel guilty about it afterwards because you’re a big fucking softy. I didn’t–” Buck took a breath, really thinking over his next words. “I didn’t fall in love with this idea of a perfect person. I fell in love with you, Eddie, and all the flaws that come with you.”

“Baby—”

“And if I’m ‘stuck with you,’” Buck cut him off haughtily, “then you’re stuck with me, too. We’re fucking superglued. I don’t want anyone else. I want to fight with you just as much as I want to do laundry with you and have your babies and watch you try to fix things around the house that we both know you’ll only make worse because I fucking love you. I chose you.”

“I like the superglue idea,” Eddie said, his voice strained. It was then that Buck noticed Eddie was crying. “I don’t— I’ve never been loved like this. You make it sound easy.”

Buck brushed some of his tears away with his thumb, cradling his face with both hands. “Loving you is easy. Loving you and Chris was the easiest thing I’ve ever done.”

“Loving you is the best thing I’ve ever done,” Eddie said emphatically, his voice wet. “Well, behind Chris and the girls.”

Buck smiled at him. “I will happily take fourth place.”

Eddie's mirrored smile was a fragile, shy thing. “I want to marry you.”

Buck’s breath hitched. “I want to marry you, too. No, I am going to marry you. I’m gonna marry your pants off, Diaz. But I’m going to forget that you said that because you are not proposing to me in a hospital bed.”

“It is very us,” Eddie mused as Buck wiped away a few more tears. “I’m just… I’m really sorry, baby. I’m sorry that I hurt you.”

“I’m sorry, too,” Buck murmured. “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you.”

“Okay,” Eddie said, tugging Buck impossibly closer. “And for the record, I missed you, too.”

Buck squeezed Eddie’s hip, looking up at him through his lashes. “I want you to keep being mad at me, at least until tomorrow.”

“What?” Eddie questioned, his brows pinching together. “Why?”

“Every time you get mad at me, my body goes haywire, and you’re forced to forgive me. It’s kind of unfair. It feels manipulative,” Buck said, voicing a concern that had been bothering him for a while.

“It’s not manipulative,” Eddie argued immediately. “That’s not—” He sighed heavily upon seeing Buck’s baby blues trained on him pleadingly. “Okay, c’mere,” He eased Buck up gently by the nape of his neck to ghost a kiss on his lips. “I’m mad at you,” He said, kissing him deeply. “I’m super mad at you.”

“Yeah?” Buck mumbled against his lips.

“Oh, I’m infuriated, baby,” Eddie conceded, kissing Buck soundly.

“Good,” Buck said before he licked into Eddie’s mouth, humming around the taste of his tongue that he’d missed so much.

—

It was only later, when they were home from the hospital and curled up in bed, Buck’s head pillowed on Eddie’s bare chest, where he was tracing mindless circles over the skin that he said in a hushed voice, “I think I didn’t tell you because I was embarrassed.”

Eddie made a small noise to show he was listening.

“I know you love me now. I do. But when you first left and I found out I was pregnant, I had convinced myself that you didn’t feel the same way about me that I did about you.”

“And all the sex… you thought, what? That it was platonic?” Eddie asked, sounding halfway amused and also halfway curious.

“I dunno,” Buck said, not looking at him, instead focusing on the pattern his finger was drawing. “I guess I thought it was a pity fuck.”

Eddie stiffened. “You thought I would do that to you?”

“No. Maybe? I don’t know. Not really. I wasn’t thinking clearly, obviously,” Buck said, doing his absolute best to be as honest as possible. “I just kept thinking that I had to take what I could get, and if this was all I could get then I would make my peace with that.” He gnawed at his lip. “And okay, this is fucked up.”

“Tell me,” Eddie murmured, ever-patient, and ever so kind. It clawed at Buck’s heart that Eddie sentenced himself into believing he was cruel. He was impassioned, and occasionally hot-headed, but never, ever cruel.

“There was this sick, twisted part of me that was happy when I found out I was pregnant, underneath all the fear, you know? Because it meant I was going to get to keep a piece of you, when I thought you were going to stay gone. Like, I wasn’t actually fully losing you because I had the girls,” Buck admitted, hiding his face in Eddie’s chest.

Eddie pulled his face out of his chest so he was forced to look at him. “Can I tell you something fucked up?”

Buck licked his lips. “Always.”

“I like that I knocked you up. When I found out you were pregnant, baby,” Eddie blew out a breath. “I liked knowing that there was a part of me inside you the whole time I was gone.”

“Yeah, I like having you inside me,” Buck said, brushing his lips against Eddie’s chest.

“That’s cute, baby,” Eddie said, carding his fingers through Buck’s hair. “But let’s not get side tracked. Why didn’t you tell me these last couple weeks?”

“We were so happy, I didn’t want to ruin it, or make you worried,” Buck confessed. “I was doing better and I almost forgot about it? I also felt kind of pathetic, like this needy Omega who couldn’t handle you leaving even though I don’t blame you for it. I know why you had to go. You had to get Chris. I get it. I do. And I was embarrassed that my body had already gone and decided we were bonded when I wasn’t sure if you were there yet.”

“Buck I thought I was going to bite my lip bloody the first time I got my knot in you because I wanted to bite you so bad,” Eddie told him, like it didn’t make a shiver of pure want course through Buck.

“I would’ve let you,” Buck said without having to give a second thought.

“Yeah, I know you would’ve, sweetheart, and that would’ve been a terrible idea,” Eddie said, though it came out irrevocably fond.

“Still knocked me up,” Buck teased. “And you didn’t even have to bite me first.”

“I just wish you would tell me things,” Eddie said, getting the little divot in between his brows that meant he was thinking hard. Buck smoothed it over with his thumb. “You hide away all the parts of you that you think I might think are ugly or embarrassing, like I’ll love you less for them. You said that you love me flaws and all, and I wanna love you like that, too, baby. I want to choose you, but you gotta let me in.”

“I want to, I just never want to hurt you,” Buck said, dipping his head to rest on Eddie’s shoulder. “Sometimes I want to…” He sucked in a breath. “I want to take all the hurt you’ve ever felt and put it in the palm of my hand because it should never get to touch you.”

Eddie made a wounded sound. “You’re too sweet for your own good, baby.” He ran his fingers up Buck’s spine. “But I get it. I feel like that with you, too.”

Buck smiled, glowing and warm.

“You gonna let me in? Think you can do that?” Eddie asked softly.

“I’ll work on it,” Buck said with conviction. “I will.”

“That’s all I want,” Eddie said, running his hand up to lazily pad over Buck’s scent gland with his thumb.

“You know what I want?” Buck whispered, tilting his chin up so that he could mouth over the scent gland on Eddie’s neck.

“Oh, I know what you want,” Eddie replied darkly, moving his hand to grab at Buck’s hip. Slick gathered at Buck’s entrance as Eddie’s hand guided him into a slow, dirty grind against his thigh.

“I think we should be like those oxygen tanks,” Buck said nonsensically, his pupils dilating as he muttered the words right into Eddie’s throat. “Have to be shipped in pairs because they can’t be separated.”

Eddie laughed. “Are you trying to dirty talk with me about gear from work?”

Buck nipped at his throat. “I don’t know. Is it working?”

“A little, yeah,” Eddie admitted, laughing again. Buck wanted to bottle the sound.

Eddie’s hand slipped under Buck’s boxers—that were Eddie’s—and grabbed a handful of his ass, encouraging Buck to keep grinding.

“You’re soaked, cariño,” Eddie crooned.

Buck arched into his touch. “Fingered myself in the shower when you were sleeping,” Buck told him, grinning impishly at Eddie’s subsequent groan.

“That desperate for it?” Eddie taunted, as if Buck couldn’t feel how hard he was underneath him.

“I’m pregnant and horny and you haven’t fucked me in four days,” Buck whined. “Wanted to feel you slide right in and stretch me around your cock.”

“Jesus Christ,” Eddie swore. “I don’t know how I didn’t knock you up sooner with a mouth like that.”

“Eddie?” Buck prodded brattily. “Fuck me.”

“Someone’s bossy tonight,” Eddie chided, though he did tug off Buck’s boxers, so Buck counted it as a win.

“Guess you’ll have to fuck it out of me,” Buck snarked, earning him a sharp smack right on the meat of his ass. “Fuck.”

Eddie flipped them effortlessly, giving him the perfect opportunity to loom over Buck.

Buck inched his legs open and began to pull at Eddie’s boxers with little finesse. “Need you inside me, c’mon, please,” He begged. His entire body was already a live wire, and he felt like he was going to die if Eddie wasn’t inside him within the next minute.

“I got you, baby,” Eddie soothed. “I’m not gonna leave you hanging.”

He helped Buck get his boxers the rest of the way off, exposing his hard cock.

“In me, in me, in me, please,” Buck chanted, tilting his hips up, his own cock leaking a smear of pre-come across his pregnant belly.

Eddie, true to his word, didn’t take his usual time to tease. He wrapped his hand around his cock, and lathered it in the slick that coated Buck’s rim. He braced one hand on the headboard as he began to sink inside.

Buck moaned loudly, scrambling to get his legs around Eddie’s waist as Eddie’s cock stretched him open. There was barely a burn, and the stretch filled all of his senses. He clenched against Eddie’s cock, his hole fluttering at the intrusion as Eddie bottomed out.

“Tight, baby,” Eddie bit out, grunting. Yet he still waited for Buck to give him the signal that he could move.

“Yeah, and you’re big,” Buck whimpered, running his nails up Eddie’s back, careful not to leave scratches. He jerked his chin in a short semblance of a nod.

Eddie pulled out, thrusting back in shallowly while Buck attempted to surge air back into his lungs. God, this is what he’d been missing—what he’d been craving. It wasn’t even necessarily about the act of sex itself, it was about feeling close to Eddie. He never felt more connected to him than when he filled to the brim with his cock.

“You feel amazing, baby,” Eddie told him, grinding in and out of him. Buck was slowly losing his mind, clenching rhythmically as Eddie nailed his prostate. He was pent up and easy for Eddie’s cock.

“Kiss me,” Buck panted, fisting his hand in the back of Eddie’s hair to yank him into a filthy kiss. It was wet and messy, getting spit on his chin, but Buck didn’t want it to stop. He licked over Eddie’s teeth, hoping to memorize each one, like he could imprint Eddie’s dental records into his skull.

“It’s like you’re made for me,” Eddie told him, his lips trailing wetly over Buck’s cheek. “Made to take my cock.”

“Yeah,” Buck agreed, the word sounding punched out of him as Eddie fucked into him harshly. It was desperate, and frantic, with pleasure cloying at all of Buck’s synapses.

He could feel his orgasm approaching quickly, barreling towards him like a runaway train he had no hope of slowing down or stopping. His cock twitched against his belly and the noises escaping him were high-pitched and animalistic, sure to put any porn star to shame.

He wanted Eddie to get there, to pop his knot and come inside of him. He needed it like oxygen, and sunlight, and the blood pumping through his veins.

“Mine,” Eddie growled, sucking a mark by Buck’s scent gland.

Buck wrapped his legs even tighter around Eddie’s waist, smothering his hips so he barely had any room to pull out and was forced to grind inside him, rubbing over his prostate incessantly.

“Yours,” Buck gasped out, snaking his arms over Eddie’s neck so their faces could stay pressed together, breathing in each other’s air. “‘Cause I’m your fucking wife.”

“Oh, fuck, fuck,” Eddie groaned out, his eyes squeezing shut. His hips stuttered, his knot filling and catching at a speed that had Buck dizzy, his mouth falling open.

Buck’s orgasm ricocheted through him, every nerve ending on fire. He was aware of his cock spurting come, completely untouched, but it was a distant feeling as he jack-knifed off the bed, his body pulsing and warm all over.

He came back to himself with his ears ringing and knuckles sore from how tightly he’d been holding onto Eddie’s shoulders.

Eddie was smattering kisses all over his cheek, chin and jaw as feeling slowly returned to him, limb by limb. His heart pounded painfully in his ribcage, and he was pretty sure he’d seen God at some point during his orgasm.

Eddie’s cock twitched inside of him, still pumping come into his ass.

“Jesus,” Buck wheezed, gulping in air like he’d just run a marathon.

“I think that’s the hardest I’ve ever came in my life,” Eddie mumbled, his voice shot, and hips still grinding languidly, like he was unaware of it.

“Same here,” Buck assured him, tingly and utterly blissed out.

“Oh, yeah? Mrs. Diaz,” Eddie said hotly, his mouth trailing along the side of Buck’s face like he couldn’t get enough.

“Yeah, you liked that?” Buck said breathlessly, smiling so wide it hurt his cheeks.

“I still can’t feel my legs,” Eddie muttered, and Buck laughed loudly, the timber of it echoing throughout their bedroom.

“I like the ring of that,” Buck told him, unable to wipe the ear-splitting grin from off his face.

“Mmm, Mrs. Diaz,” Eddie hummed, kissing him sweetly—clearly liking the ring of it, too.

They kissed heatedly for a few minutes, as Buck savored every detail of having Eddie surrounding him; inside of him and bathed in his scent.

“I thought we were gonna forget about the hospital proposal,” Eddie joked when they separated their mouths to pull in some much-needed air.

“You’re not getting out of a proper proposal that easily,” Buck informed him, wiggling into a more comfortable position on Eddie’s knot. “But, I don’t need a ring to be your wife, baby.”

Eddie’s eyes were dark as he leaned down to kiss chastely over where Buck’s bond bite would go on his neck. He maintained eye contact with Buck, untangling the Omega’s hand from around his shoulder to kiss the inside of his left ring finger.

Buck’s heart sputtered and stopped before picking back up again to beat in double-time.

“We should take off work tomorrow,” Buck said bluntly.

Eddie’s lips were still pressed over his ring finger, so his next words were muttered into Buck’s skin. “Why’s that, baby?”

“So you can spend all day fucking your wife.”

“I think my wife,” Eddie said, putting emphasis on the title, which caused sparks to shoot up Buck’s spine, “Has excellent ideas.”

Chapter Text

────────────────────────────────────

TWENTY WEEKS

────────────────────────────────────

“A banana?” Eddie called dubiously from the kitchen.

“That’s what it says! We have the same app! You can check on your phone. It’s saying the girls are the size of a banana this week, but that can’t be right,” Buck called back, studying his phone suspiciously. “Like, are we talking purely length-wise, or length and width, because that doesn’t make any sense if they were the size of a pomegranate last week.”

“I think the fruit thing is a scam,” Eddie said unhelpfully as he brought out a glass of apple juice for Buck and a can of Coke for himself.

Buck rolled his eyes. “You think every app on your phone is a scam. You think the weather app is a scam.”

“You were the one who read me that article about the shady acquisition of Dark Sky,” Eddie pointed out.

Buck sighed. “I just wanted to have a cute fruit reference to tell Isabel. A banana sounds ridiculous.”

“I think she’s going to believe you,” Eddie said, sounding amused. “I doubt she’ll need a fruit size as proof.”

“We should probably mail her one of the ultrasound pictures,” Buck said, stalling. “She’d like that. Wouldn’t she?”

“I don’t know, baby, why don’t you ask her? You know, when we call,” Eddie said meaningfully, sitting next to him on the couch. He knocked his knee against Buck’s. “She loves you, c’mon.”

“You say that,” Buck replied darkly, “At least with Pepa, I didn’t really have to tell her. She figured it out.” Buck’s eyes went wide. “Do you think she’ll be able to tell over the phone?”

“Yes,” Eddie said dryly. “Your voice has completely changed. Haven’t you noticed?”

Buck narrowed his eyes. “Keep making fun of me and see where that gets you.”

“Buck,” Eddie said, plucking Buck’s phone from where he’d been anxiously flipping it between his fingers. “Just call her.”

“You call her,” Buck insisted, snatching his phone back. “You do it. I dare you.”

“Fine,” Eddie huffed, pulling his phone out of his pocket. “I’ll call her.”

He hit Abuela’s contact on his phone, and Buck waited anxiously as his phone rang, his heart pounding.

On the last ring, she answered. Her warm voice tumbled out of Eddie’s phone as he fumbled to put it on speaker. “Oh, Eddito, how good to hear from you! I see you remember how your phone works.”

Buck covered his mouth hastily to hide his laugh.

“Hola, Abuela. Sorry, things have been kind of crazy here,” Eddie replied awkwardly.

“Ay, my lovely eldest daughter keeps hinting that you have news to share. Yet, you never call,” Abuela said, laying on the guilt thick.

“Lo siento, Abuela. I know I should call more,” Eddie said, sounding properly chastised. “How’s your hip?”

“I wish everyone would stop asking me that,” Abuela sighed. “Estoy bien, Eddito. Nada de qué preocuparse. It’ll take more than a titanium hip to keep me down.”

“How’s your garden doing?” Eddie asked.

Abuela made an unimpressed noise. “Now, Eddito, I know you didn’t call me to ask about my hip or garden. Deja de ir por las ramas, ay, Dios, or I might die of old age.”

“Well,” Eddie said nervously, cutting his eyes over to Buck. “I did have some news. We have some news, actually. Umm, Buck’s here with me.”

“Oh! Evancito, mi dulce niño! How have you been?” Abuela said delightedly.

“Hey, Isabel,” Buck said bashfully. “I’ve been really good.”

Abuela tsked. “You know you can call me ‘Abuela’, mi amor. None of that ‘Isabel’ nonsense.”

“Right,” Buck said, his face flushing. “Sorry, Abuela.”

“There was a recipe I wanted to send you, cariño,” Abuela cooed sweetly. “Now, where did I put my glasses?”

“That’s so sweet, Abuela. You know I love all your recipes,” Buck told her, absolutely touched. “But first… we kind of had some things we wanted to tell you?”

“Go on, Evancito. Is everything alright?” Abuela asked, sounding concerned.

“Everything’s fine, Abuela,” Buck was quick to say.

He grabbed Eddie’s hand as he gathered up his courage. He adored Abuela so completely he knew that anything less than her enthusiastic blessing would crush him. He was also well aware that even if Eddie would never admit to it—their relationship having countless other irreconcilable differences—the strained connection between Shannon and the rest of his family, namely Abuela and Pepa, was one of the pitfalls of their marriage.

“We wanted to tell you that we’re together. Officially. And we were hoping for your blessing.”

“Oh, Evancito, this is wonderful news,” Abuela cheered from over the phone. “Of course you have my blessing, mi dulce, dulce, niño. Has Eddito been taking care of you?”

Buck was pretty sure his face was on fire. He was currently melting from her praise and love, soaking it all in. “Yes, Abuela. He’s been taking good care of me.” Eddie frowned a little, clearly thinking about the events of the previous week. Buck squeezed his hand. “You raised a good man.”

“A good man,” Abuela repeated with reverence. “That’s our Eddito.”

“Abuela,” Eddia said, embarrassed, if his pink cheeks were any indication.

“Eddito, I see por fin sacaste la cabeza del culo. Será mejor que le pongas un anillo en el dedo,” She said in a stern tone. Buck only caught half of what she was saying, though, Eddie’s cheeks turned even pinker, if that was even possible.

“I’m working on it, Abuela,” Eddie said slyly. “There’s also something else.”

“Oh?” Abuela said expectantly. “More good news?”

“Buck’s pregnant,” Eddie blurted out.

“I’m due in September,” Buck jumped in nervously. “It’s umm, twins. Twin girls.”

“Oh, Evancito,” Abuela gushed. “Mi oraciones have been answered! I always knew one day you’d be part of the family.”

Buck sniffled, overcome with emotion. “I’ve always considered you family, Abuela. You’ve been so kind to me.”

“¡Ay, Eddito, siempre lo supe aquél uno fue fertil!” Abuela crowed, directed at Eddie. Buck wasn’t entirely sure what she said, but it wasn’t hard to translate the last word, and his face burned.

“Abuela!” Eddie hissed, scandalized.

“An old lady is never wrong!” Abuela continued. “Oh, there’s so much to do! Have you been eating enough, Evancito? Has Edmundo been taking good care of you? September is so soon! I have to call Josephina so I can come visit,” She prattled on.

“We would love it if you visited,” Buck said earnestly. “I know I’ve missed having you around.”

“Eddito, if your boy keeps being so sweet and easy on the eyes, I might just have to steal him away,” Abuela teased.

“I don’t know, your cooking might convince me,” Buck joked along with her.

“Alright, enough, you two. Nobody is stealing anyone away,” Eddie grumbled, which made Buck laugh heartily.

“How have Ramon and Helena taken the news? Are they coming to visit, too?” Abuela wondered, and Eddie and Buck both winced in tandem. They exchanged a loaded glance.

“We would actually appreciate you keeping this between us, at least for right now,” Eddie said carefully. “We’re not sure when we’re going to tell them. It might not be until after the girls are born—if that.” Eddie sighed. “They’ve never really approved of Buck, especially Mom. Things are still complicated, and I don’t want to drag Buck into any family drama. He doesn’t need the stress right now.”

“Your parents…” Abuela trailed off, sounding weathered. “I’ll never understand how your mother could plant such ideas in Ramon’s head. But, if you want to keep it a secret, you have my word.”

“Gracias, Abuela,” Eddie said thankfully, looking as if a weight had been taken off his shoulders. Buck brushed a thumb over his knuckles where their hands were still joined, and Eddie shot him a small, grateful smile.

“I’ll let you two go,” Abuela said, already sounding distracted. “Give Christopher my love. That boy is getting too big.”

“I know,” Buck commiserated with her. “He needs to stay little.”

“We hope to see you soon, Abuela,” Eddie said, effectively cutting them off before Abuela and Buck could get caught in an hours long conversation about how Chris was growing up too fast. “We’ll tell Christopher you love him.”

“Te amo, Eddito, y te amo mucho, mi precioso, Evancito,” Abuela cooed.

“Love you, too, Abuela!” Buck said cheerily, while Eddie echoed him and then ended the call.

Eddie shook his head, his expression impossibly fond.

“And you were nervous,” He said, as if the very idea was ridiculous.

Buck looped his arms around Eddie’s neck, climbing into his lap. “She looooves me,” he said, in a silly voice, positively elated.

“Must be a Diaz trait,” Eddie quipped, resting his hands over Buck’s hips.

“It’s a very good trait,” Buck said cutely. “I think I like that trait.”

Eddie laughed. “Yeah?”

“Mm, yeah,” Buck hummed before bending down for a kiss.

────────────────────────────────────

TWENTY-ONE WEEKS

────────────────────────────────────

“I can’t believe you guys haven’t gotten anything for the baby yet,” Maddie said exasperatedly as Buck followed her around the store. She had strong-armed him into making a trip with her to peruse the baby section at Target.

“We have two tiny LAFD onesies, thank you very much,” Buck snipped, doing his best to follow her lead. Even though she was more pregnant than he was, she was speedy. She clearly knew this section of the store like the back of her hand, and Buck was struggling to keep up. “It feels like we should be putting everything in the nursery, and we don’t have a nursery yet because we don’t even know where we’re going to be living in a few months.”

Maddie hummed, unimpressed. “How’s the house hunting been going, by the way?”

Buck groaned. “Awful. We can’t find anything in Chris’s school district or close to the station that’s in our price range. Everything that is in our price range are dire fixer-uppers, or so far from the station it’s a lost cause,” he complained. “I don’t know how we’re going to find a house and be able to close on it before the girls are here.”

“What about houses that are out of your price range?” Maddie asked, leading them towards a table with tiny burp towels and feeding covers.

“I mean, there are some things we agree on, but the biggest thing is finding something that can be accessible for Chris, and we’re not having much luck,” Buck continued.

“You don’t have to buy anything today,” Maddie said kindly, obviously sensing how overwhelmed Buck was. “You should definitely get started on a registry, though. It makes things easier. People will buy stuff from it for the shower, and then you can just buy all in one go whatever you’re still missing.” Maddie sighed. “I’d give you all of the leftovers from Jee if we weren’t having another one, too.”

“It’s fine,” Buck said, waving his hand. “We can get stuff, I just have no idea where we’re going to start putting it. Never mind the fact that we’re gonna need multiples of everything.”

“So you’re planning on buying a house and not renting?” Maddie asked, pushing her cart over towards the maternity section.

“We’ve gone back and forth on it. Eddie thinks we have a better shot at renting since our credit scores both suck right now, and a mortgage might bleed us dry. I would prefer to buy, but even with our savings pooled, I’m not sure if we have enough to make a down payment on a house, even if we found the perfect one.” Buck told her. The night they had both poured over their financials had been relatively grim.

Maddie furrowed her brows. “What about the trust fund?”

“I’ve never used it,” Buck said, causing Maddie to blink furiously at him, then smack him on the chest.

“Buck! What?! Why don’t you use the trust fund to make the down payment?” Maddie exclaimed, looking at him like he was crazy.

“I mean, we could…” Buck trailed off thoughtfully. “I’ve never mentioned it because I’ve never touched it. It always felt like using money from Mom and Dad, and I don’t need their help. I honestly sort of forgot it was there.”

Maddie softened. “I can understand that,” She said after a moment. “I know our feelings on Mom and Dad can sometimes differ…” She chewed her lip, glancing at Buck carefully.

“Eddie and I agreed we don’t want them involved,” Buck said stiffly. “I’m not telling them about the girls. If they find out, they find out, but I’m never going to give them the opportunity to hurt them the way that they hurt me,” Buck told her, and it felt like a weight off his chest to put it into words. “If you want to have them in Jee and the new baby’s life, that’s your choice. This is mine. Between Abuela, Pepa, you, Bobby, Athena, and everyone else, they’re going to have a lot of family.”

Maddie touched his arm delicately. “I don’t expect you to forgive them, not if you don’t want to. I’m sorry for ever pressuring you in the past.”

“It’s okay, Mads,” Buck said, giving her a small, thin smile. “You were always doing what you thought was best.” Buck sighed. “We still haven’t made a decision about Eddie’s parents.”

“Their relationship seems to be more complicated,” Maddie said diplomatically.

Buck snorted. “That’s a word for it.” He put a hand over his belly. “I should tell Eddie about the trust fund, though. Hopefully that goes smoother than last week.”

“Yeah,” Maddie hedged curiously, “Chim mentioned something about you two having a little fight.”

“It was more of a rehashing of a fight we already had,” Buck said resignedly. “He found out about something I hadn’t told him, and we had to work through the fight we initially had when I told him I was pregnant and he was hurt and felt like I didn’t trust him. That fight never really got resolved, it just got kind of…sidetracked,” Buck finished evasively, avoiding Maddie’s eyes.

Maddie wrinkled her nose. “Gross. So you slept together instead of communicating. You guys seem to do that a lot.”

Buck threw up his hands helplessly. “He’s hot, Maddie! I don’t know what to tell you. We try to talk, and then somehow every time I end up on my back.”

“Okay, ew,” Maddie said with disgust. “Did not have to know that.” She gave Buck a diabolical side-eye. “Although, I’m beginning to understand how he knocked you up so quickly.”

Buck nodded with enthusiasm. “He’s exceedingly good at knocking up people on the first try.”

“Right,” Maddie replied blandly. She side-stepped him to guide them further into the maternity clothes section. “Are you worried that if you tell him about the Buckley trust fund, he’s going to take it as another thing you’ve kept from him?”

“Probably not,” Buck conceded. Trying to be logical and reasonable for once in his life. “He seemed more upset about having to find out instead of me telling him, so I think that’s the root of the issue. As long as I tell him it shouldn’t be a big deal.”

“It’s kind of hard to imagine you guys actually fighting. All I’ve ever seen you do is bicker and act nauseatingly in love.” Maddie informed him.

“It sucked. I hate fighting with him,” Buck admitted. “He was hurt, which was the worst part. Actually, no, the worst part was even when he was hurt and upset, he was still loving, and it only made me feel worse for hurting him.”

Maddie’s eyes were sympathetic. “But you two worked it out, right? From what I’ve heard.”

“Oh, yeah. We worked it out. Things are good. Great, even,” Buck said absently. “I just wish it wasn’t so stressful dealing with the house stuff, and baby supply stuff, and all the rest.”

“Welcome to being a parent,” Maddie responded dryly.

“Anyways,” Buck said meaningfully, “Why are we over here and not where all the baby stuff is?”

Maddie’s eyes sharpened with a devious glint. “Because,” she drawled, like Buck was a moron. “You need maternity clothes.”

Buck made a face. “Do I really?”

“Yes, really,” Maddie intoned. “What, are you gonna wear sweatpants your entire pregnancy? You’re having twins. I don’t think your stretchiest sweatpants will stretch that far.”

“It seems like a waste to buy clothes that I’ll only wear for a few months and then never again,” Buck pointed out, eyeing the men’s side of the maternity section anxiously.

Maddie frowned. “Oh, so you’re not having any more after the twins?”

“No, I mean—” Buck spluttered. “We’ve talked about having more. I want more after the girls, and he said he wanted more, too.”

“So then you’ll have clothes for the next time that you’re pregnant,” Maddie said easily. “C’mon, at least buy a shirt and one pair of jeans. You have to have one pair of jeans you can wear while pregnant.”

“You’re not letting me get out of this, are you?” Buck grimaced.

“Nope,” Maddie said, all about dragging him over to where the jeans were.

—

Buck had been on the other end of several low points in his life.

Honestly, there were almost too many to count.

Taking that all into account, he was relatively certain he was currently in the midst of a very low, low.

Curled up in your dry bathtub, getting snot all over your boyfriend’s clothes, you were bundled in as you cried your heart out would do that to you, he guessed.

The whole thing was stupid and embarrassing, and Buck was keenly aware that he was being dramatic and ridiculous, but he was also fraying apart at the edges, feeling vulnerable and weepy.

It had all started with the jeans.

And Maddie had meant well. He knew down to his core she had only been offering him a piece of seasoned advice. He couldn’t realistically survive the rest of his pregnancy in sweatpants he was already beginning to stretch past their means. If he ever wanted to go out to dinner or show his face at a get-together, he’d need a pair of jeans.

It sounded pitiful, even as he replayed the whole thing in his head. He’d just— he’d never had the experience of being so uncomfortable or unrecognizable in his own body before.

When he’d bought jeans, or any pants for that matter, in the past, it had been a steadfastly casual affair. He would be in and out, barely glancing at his reflection in the changing room, the few times he’d even bothered to try them on at all.

He’d been rail thin and lanky for most of his teenage years and into the first half of his twenties. He was used to squeezing into suffocatingly tight skinny jeans that hung low, leaving the upper half of his boxers, or his jutting hip bones, exposed. Then, when the style of jeans had gotten a little looser and he’d bulked up, it wasn’t hard to go up a size or two. At that point, he had a cut V-line and abs that peeked out over his waistband.

It was easy, simple, mindless, even. He looked exactly how he was supposed to look, like he could fit right in on any jean ad poster that would crop up around town.

Now he was pregnant, only getting bigger by the day, and his proportions were all off.

His hips had widened inexplicably, lined with a soft layer of padding that hadn’t been there before he’d gotten pregnant. His bump had defined itself in the last few weeks, becoming unmistakable and impossible to cover up.

As soon as he had caught a good glance of himself in the funhouse mirror of the dressing room, he had felt off and wrong. They couldn’t find a pair that fit right—either too baggy, or made him look like he’d shoved a basketball under his shirt. He didn’t have a glowing bump, but rather an uncomfortable eyesore that made him want to curl in on himself and hide.

He’d brushed it off at first. Blaming it on hormones and the fact that he was tall and built. He didn’t match the typical body type for an Omega, so of course, the male Omega maternity clothes would cater to the dainty body type he had closer matched in his youth.

It was fine.

He let Maddie bully him into buying a pair that objectively hadn’t been the worst and still left a bit of room. She had helpfully reminded him that he had a ways to go yet and his stomach was only going to get bigger, while he swallowed the lump that had formed in the back of his throat.

They had taken another gander through the baby section, this time focusing on the shelves with toys and blankets, which were more jovial and considerably less overwhelming.

Buck’s eyes had caught on a matching set that the package proudly proclaimed was great for swaddling newborns. There were two blankets in the set, and Buck couldn’t help but take it as a serendipitous sign. Both blankets had the characters from Winnie the Pooh printed on the edges, and Buck’s chest warmed.

He trailed his finger over the open window at the front of the plastic cover that allowed him to test the softness and texture of the blanket. It was smooth and plush, perfect to wrap two little sensitive babies in.

His mouth quirked up into a smile on its own volition.

“Find something?” Maddie inquired from beside him.

Buck whipped around, cradling the sealed blankets to his chest with a white-knuckled grip before he realized what he was doing.

“They’re adorable,” Maddie said encouragingly, her smile just a tad teasing. “I don’t remember you liking Winnie the Pooh that much.”

Buck ducked his head, his cheeks flushing. “I didn’t,” he confirmed.

He thought back to the photo albums he’d gone through with care and trembling fingers. Photo albums that had Eddie in Winnie the Pooh footie pajamas, and an Eddie, no older than four, dragging around a Pooh bear stuffie that was well-loved and certainly worse for the wear.

Buck cleared his throat. “Don’t say anything, you know how he is, but umm, Eddie really liked it— when he was little.”

Maddie’s eyes shone, as if something was clicking into place. Her smile was bright and conspiratorial. “Christopher Robin,” she said with evident mirth.

“Saint Christopher,” Buck corrected. Then he let out a short, surprised laugh. “Although, maybe,” he divulged, following her train of thought.

“That’s so cute,” Maddie gushed as Buck held the blankets protectively. “Put ‘em in the cart,” she said with a wave of her hand. “Before I start crying.”

Reluctantly, Buck released his grip on the blankets and ever-so-carefully placed them into the cart.

“Ugh,” Maddie groaned, rubbing over her much bigger belly. “I have to pee, this one is kicking my bladder. Wait ‘til you get to that stage,” she warned Buck. “Can you watch the cart for a minute? I’ll be back.”

“Yeah, sure thing,” Buck had replied without a thought.

Once she had ambled off towards the bathrooms, Buck wheeled the cart around to some of the sections they had passed by, to keep himself from getting bored.

He grumbled a bit to himself about how the female maternity section was nearly triple the size of the one for male Omegas, and appeared to be rife with different options and styles. He was about to head back to the toy section when he paused at something hanging up in the corner.

In the far back corner was the “intimates” section. His face flamed crimson, and he glanced over his shoulder hastily to see if anyone was around. The section was blessedly deserted, so he inched closer.

He’d never—

Though, maybe the pants had been the problem.

It did look pretty, and silky soft.

He bit down harshly on his lip. Before he could talk himself out of it, he snatched one of the larger sizes from off the rack. He twisted it into a ball, hid it under the set of blankets in the cart, and then tore off back to the toy section.

When Maddie returned, he acted like nothing was amiss, and she was far too distracted collecting the handful of items they had actually came for to notice the extra swatch of fabric Buck had hidden in the cart. He made sure to keep up the distraction as they checked out, and he shoved it into the same bag as the jeans.

Once he got home, he waited until after he’d picked Christopher up from school and then dropped him off at a friend’s house for a birthday sleepover—

“We’re hanging out,” Chris had corrected him with an eye roll. “Nobody has called it a sleepover since we were like, ten,” he insisted.

—to try on the item he had snuck.

His mental plan, so confident in the moment that trying it on would go well, was to stay in it and wait for Eddie to get home as a surprise.

Then he had tried it on.

It was labeled as a “nightgown,” but Buck had been around the block. He knew lingerie when he saw it. It was a light baby blue, short and flouncy, with enough room flared out to not be snug against a pregnant belly. It had thin straps and fell into a deep V over the chest area. It didn’t have any extra padding or cups, so Buck had been giddy and hopeful.

He slipped it over his head, tugging the straps over his shoulders. He’d stepped over to the mirror that hung on the inside of the closet door to snatch a peek at his reflection.

“Oh,” He had breathed at the sight that greeted him.

His legs looked good. His legs had always looked good in anything short, and they’d remained one of the things steadily unchanged by his pregnancy.

It was more the—everything else.

His broad chest ruined the delicate illusion of the straps and V-neck, making his entire top half appear boxy and wrong. And his bump—

He was tearing the dress off with shaking hands and stinging eyes before he had even fully turned around to look away.

A mangled sob tore its way out of his throat as he dug through the drawers of their dresser. He wasn’t satisfied until he had shoved himself into a sweatshirt, sweatpants, and socks—all Eddie’s—and his body was completely covered from head to toe.

He wiped at his eyes roughly as he continued to sob.

He almost climbed into bed, and had the urge to wrap himself in their covers and cry himself out. He coiled back, like he’d been burned, when he took in their rumpled state and remembered how Eddie had fucked him in that same bed early that morning, before he left for the extra shift he had picked up.

How could Eddie have fucked him that morning when he looked like this? In a few months, would it get to the point that Eddie wasn’t attracted to him anymore? Would he have to fake it? Or worse, would fucking him become a chore that Eddie had to muster through?

He choked on another sob and gagged as snot clogged his throat, making it briefly hard to breathe. He stumbled into the bathroom, bracing his hands on the counter in case he had to throw up, his knees weak.

When it became clear he wasn’t going to throw up and that his tears weren’t subsiding, he slumped.

Somehow, the bathtub was more inviting than the bathroom floor.

So, that’s how he found himself in the bathtub, his chest heaving with sobs as he wiped snot all over the sleeve of Eddie’s sweatshirt.

He was miserable and disgusting. How in the world would Eddie ever want him like this?

He cried for a while, his eyes puffy and painfully swollen.

He wasn’t sure how long he stayed in the bathtub, however, it must have been for a considerable amount of time because eventually he heard Eddie’s voice ring out.

“Buck?”

It sounded like it was coming from the living room, and Buck hunched further in on himself.

He never wanted to wear maternity clothes, lingerie, or even his own clothes ever again. All he wanted to wear were Eddie’s clothes. Why couldn’t he wear Eddie’s clothes forever?

“Buck?” Eddie’s voice came again, this time paired with his feet padding down the hallway and their bedroom door squeaking as it always did when it was opened quickly.

“Buck, baby, you’re scaring me,” Eddie called out, his voice now considerably panicked. “Your Jeep’s out front, so I know you’re—” the door to the bathroom opened, and Eddie froze. “Here,” he finished on the exhale of a breath.

Eddie rushed to his side, kneeling next to the bathtub.

“What’s wrong?” Eddie asked as he began to frantically pat Buck down, searching for injuries. “Are you hurt?” Buck shook his head. “Is it something with the girls? Did something happen?” Buck shook his head. “Are you dropping?” Eddie pressed, placing the back of his hand against Buck’s forehead to feel his temperature. Buck shook his head again as another sob escaped from his lips and fat tears rolled down his cheeks.

“Can you tell me what’s wrong, baby? Please?” Eddie pleaded, reaching his hands up to wipe away Buck’s tears and the snot trickling from his nose. The tender action seized at his chest, and he flinched away from Eddie’s hands.

“You don’t have to touch me if you don’t want to,” Buck managed to choke out, his words garbled through tears.

“What?” Eddie breathed, sounding utterly confounded. “Why wouldn’t I want to touch you? Do you not want me to touch you?”

Buck shook his head emphatically. “No,” He whined, barely recognizing his hoarse voice.

Eddie pulled back, seemingly confused at the answer to his own question.

“Don’t,” Buck said desperately, lurching to the side in a mad dash to loop his arms around Eddie’s neck.

“Okay, baby,” Eddie said, his hands going to Buck’s waist. “I’m right here. I’ve got you. I’ve got you,” He crooned.

He lifted Buck partially out of the tub as Buck buried his face into Eddie’s neck, wetting the skin with his tears.

“C’mon, let’s get you out of here,” Eddie said softly, tapping into his Alpha strength to pull Buck the rest of the way out of the tub and into his lap on the floor.

He rubbed soothing circles into the back of Buck’s spine, which had begun to hurt from sitting hunched over in the bathtub for so long.

“What’s got you so upset, sweetheart?”

Buck shook his head miserably, burrowing himself as close to Eddie as possible.

“Alright,” Eddie said without missing a beat. He continued rubbing Buck’s back. He eased Buck up until they were both standing—Buck on stiff and shaky legs that threatened to give out underneath him. “I’m gonna move you to our room, okay, baby?”

Buck fisted his hands in Eddie’s uniform shirt tightly as an answer, while Eddie slipped his own hands underneath Buck’s thighs to lift him.

“‘M too heavy,” Buck mumbled despondently, even though Eddie paid him no mind, lifting him and guiding his legs around his waist with ease.

“No such thing, cosita,” Eddie said lightly, steering them towards the bedroom.

Buck knew, though, that he would get to a point where Eddie wouldn’t be able to carry him like this anymore. If not for his weight, then certainly because of his bump having grown too large. The thought of Eddie no longer carrying him around caused a hysterical sob to bubble out from his chest, and he was back to crying into his neck, heartbroken.

His throat was scraped raw from all the crying, and he was positive he resembled a disgusting mess as Eddie carefully deposited him on his back on the bed.

Tears streamed down the side of his temples, soaking into the pillow as he choked on sobs, covering his face with both hands.

“Baby, baby, mi vida, you gotta calm down,” Eddie said distressfully. “You’re gonna make yourself sick.”

“Already did,” Buck warbled.

“Oh, sweetheart,” Eddie murmured, now sounding heartwrenchingly heartbroken himself. He gently removed Buck’s hands from his face, revealing his blotchy cheeks and swollen eyes.

Eddie smiled at him still, like he was the most beautiful thing he’d ever seen.

“There he is,” Eddie crooned. “There’s my baby.”

Buck’s breath hitched, and his tears slowed as Eddie’s thumb brushed the wetness away.

“I love you,” Buck said hoarsely, his chin wobbling.

Eddie leaned down to kiss both of his cheeks, the tip of his nose, and finally both splotches of his birthmark.

“I love you, too, mi vida,” He said, his lips against the pink skin of Buck’s birthmark. “Can you tell me what’s got you so worked up?”

Buck squeezed his eyes shut tight. “It’s dumb,” He said eventually.

“Okay,” Eddie accepted. “Can you tell me even if it is dumb?”

“Jeans,” Buck blurted out.

“Like…pants, jeans?” Eddie said patiently.

Buck rolled over slightly so he was curled up on his side. “Can you hold me?” He asked pitifully.

“Of course, baby, c’mere,” Eddie said immediately, wrapping Buck in his embrace and tucking his face back into his neck.

Buck nosed along his scent gland, breathing in Eddie’s calming scent.

Eddie’s hand inched under the sweatshirt Buck was wearing to rub his back, skin on skin, as Buck’s tears dried, leaving him hollowed out and exhausted.

“So…jeans?” Eddie prompted.

“Maddie said I needed maternity clothes,” Buck said, refusing to peel his face away from Eddie’s neck. “I tried on jeans and they looked so bad. None of them fit.”

Eddie hummed, pressing a kiss into Buck’s curls. “I’m sure that’s not true.”

“I got something,” Buck confessed. “Wanted to look good for you. I wanted to look hot.” His next words came out rushed and jumbled as he picked up steam. “It looked so awful. I looked awful, and I’m only gonna to look worse and swollen, and you won’t be able to carry me, and you’ll never want to fuck me again.” A new batch of tears fell as Buck finished his rant, and he hiccuped through a fresh wave of sobs.

“Baby,” Eddie soothed. “You’re so beautiful like this.”

“I got snot all over your sweatshirt,” Buck argued. “You’re only saying that because I’m crying.”

“You weren’t crying this morning when I fucked you, and you were just as beautiful then,” Eddie said bluntly. “You don’t have to get something special to be sexy to me. You’re always sexy to me.”

Buck shook his head vehemently.

Eddie tutted. “Baby, have I ever lied to you?”

“No,” Buck said reluctantly, sniffling.

“Then you know I’m not lying when I tell you you’re gorgeous like this. You’re stunning, and perfect, and beautiful, and so sexy it drives me insane,” Eddie said, his lips quirking up into a dashing smile. “It makes me feel like a little bit of a knothead how much I like seeing you pregnant, knowing that I was the one who did that.”

“You wouldn’t be saying that if you saw it, Eds, I looked ridiculous,” Buck said, wiggling himself impossibly closer to Eddie, even though he was already completely encased in his arms, their bodies pressed together from head to toe.

“How about you let me be the judge of that, hmm?” Eddie countered. He reached blindly over to their nightstand to get a tissue and held it by Buck’s nose. “Blow for me.” He laughed when Buck made a scandalized face. “Sweetheart, I had two different people puke on me on calls today, a little snot isn’t gonna scare me off.”

“I love you,” Buck told him earnestly, though it came out a little muffled from all the snot in his nose.

“I love you, too, baby,” Eddie replied. “See, you love me even with other people’s puke on me, and you think I can’t handle a little snot?” He teased, holding up the tissue again.

Buck rolled his eyes but blew into it, secretly grateful that he didn’t have to remove his hands from off Eddie for even a second.

Eddie used the last clean edges of the tissue to wipe away his remaining tears. “That’s it,” He crooned. “There we go, baby. Feel better?”

“I just wanted to be hot for you,” Buck whispered, his voice small.

“I know, cosita,” Eddie said, kissing his forehead. “You’re always hot, smoking, even. It’s a good thing we’re firefighters.”

Buck laughed, despite himself, and groaned. “That was terrible.”

“Yeah,” Eddie shrugged, his eyes fond. “But it made you laugh.”

Buck sucked in a deep breath, so overflowing with love for this man, he almost didn’t know what to do with it. It seemed nonsensical now that he’d been so worried about losing Eddie’s affection when he gave it so freely. Eddie had seen Buck at his lowest, most embarrassing moments, and he still loved him anyway.

Buck had been the picture of a mess—sobbing in their bathtub, and Eddie hadn’t hesitated to touch him and love him and reassure him.

Buck wasn’t sure how he’d gotten so lucky, but he wasn’t going to look this gift horse in the mouth.

Buck gathered up all the courage he could muster and mouthed over Eddie’s scent gland from where he was tucked into Eddie’s neck.

If he was one thing, it was forever safe with Eddie.

“Do you wanna see it?” He asked, ignoring the nervous tingles at his fingertips and the sudden fluttering of his heart.

“You don’t have to, sweetheart. Not if it makes you uncomfortable,” Eddie said simply, as if he were navigating an unknown test.

In a way, he kind of had been.

And he had passed with flying colors.

“I wanna show you now,” Buck said, sucking on Eddie’s neck, right above his scent gland. “I trust you.”

Eddie carded his fingers through his curls, pulling Buck’s face out of his neck so he could get a good look at his face.

“You sure?”

“Yeah,” Buck murmured, biting his lip. “Close your eyes.”

Eddie grinned, releasing his grip on Buck to lay flat on his back, closing his eyes.

Buck climbed off the bed, and hastily scrubbed his hands over his face to rid himself of the last remnants of snot and gummy tears along his lash line. He could do this. He wanted to do this. He had a new rush of confidence that Eddie would find him sexy, even if he didn’t see it himself.

He whipped off Eddie’s sweatshirt and sweatpants, kicking them to the corner of the room, and almost tripped in the process with his socks sliding against the hardwood.

“No peeking!” He shouted when he saw Eddie’s head turn in his direction as he took off his socks.

Eddie slapped one of his hands over his eyes in a playful, over-exaggerated movement. “I’m not peeking!”

Buck debated for a second whether he should leave his boxers on, before he decided to shuck them off, too.

He found the light blue “nightgown” in a heap by their closet door and picked it up off the floor. Thankfully, because of the material, it hadn’t wrinkled. Buck ripped the tag off and closed the closet door to hide the mirror. He didn’t need to see what he looked like. All that mattered was Eddie seeing him.

He slipped the dress over his head, adjusting the straps and bottom to ensure it flowed smoothly over his bump. He shifted his weight on his feet in anticipation, twitching his fingers. After he had smoothed out every imaginary snag in the fabric, he flitted his gaze back to Eddie on the bed.

“Okay,” He said, his voice hoarse. “You can look now.”

Buck squeezed his eyes shut, suddenly unable to let himself see Eddie’s reaction.

If he didn’t like it, he was going to feel like the biggest fool on the planet.

“Jesus Christ, baby, come here,” Eddie said, now sounding hoarse himself.

“Does it— do you like it?” Buck stuttered, inching closer to the bed despite his eyes remaining firmly shut.

“Do I… mierda, baby, are you kidding?” Eddie said incredulously.

Before Buck had a chance to shrink in on himself and hide, Eddie was grabbing onto his arms and hips, forcefully seating him in his lap at the edge of the bed.

Buck’s eyes flew open with a gasp, and he came face to face with Eddie, whose own brown eyes were shining red.

Buck shuddered under his gaze, and Eddie’s hands were all over him, like he couldn’t settle them on one place for long.

“You look…” he growled, trailing off, seemingly at a loss for words. “And you thought you looked bad?” He pressed on, attacking Buck’s neck with a combination of tongue and teeth.

Buck moaned, lulling his head to the side to give him more access—access that Eddie gladly took, nipping and sucking at all the fair skin at his disposal.

Eddie tugged on his hand, removing it from its place around his neck to place it over the seam of his work pants, where there was now a noticeable bulge.

“Do you feel that?” He said darkly. “That’s all for you.”

“Y-yeah?” Buck prompted unsteadily.

“You’re making me lose my mind,” Eddie said emphatically. He settled his hands over Buck’s bump, over the silky material, his eyes still washed with red. “You know what I see when I see this?” He didn’t wait for Buck to respond. “Proof for anyone who looks at you that I fucked you, that I knotted you and bred you.” The smirk that graced his mouth was downright feral, and Buck could feel slick begin to leak out of his hole, his cock hardening. “It’s proof that you’re mine.”

Buck crashed their lips together in a heated kiss, wanting to taste the smirk on Eddie’s face for himself. Eddie matched his intensity, yanking Buck by his hair into the position he wanted. He kissed him back fiercely, licking into his mouth and claiming him.

Just as Buck got lost in the kiss, Eddie snagged him up by his hips, flipping them so he was flat on his back on the bed.

In between blinks, as Buck was orienting himself, Eddie wedged one of the pillows from their bed under Buck’s hips to support him.

“Comfy?” Eddie asked, his voice low and rumbly.

“Mm, yeah,” Buck hummed, preening at Eddie’s attention.

Eddie spread Buck’s legs, lifting one of them to kiss by his ankle. “God, you’re pretty,” He said, like the words were punched out of him. He kissed up Buck’s calf, kissing tenderly each inch of the line from his surgery scar until he reached his knee. Then he kissed over a scar Buck got from skateboarding when he was eleven. “Mi bonita cosita,” He murmured into the thin skin of Buck’s inner thigh.

Buck whined, tilting his hips up to urge Eddie near his cock, which was achingly hard and leaking pre-come against his belly.

Eddie bypassed his cock entirely, picking up his other leg to kiss a similar pattern. He kissed over the mole on Buck’s right ankle, the jagged two-inch-long scar on his shin he got from knocking against a broken bottle at a party when he was seventeen, and delicately kissed the yellowy-green healing hickey on his upper thigh that he’d left only a few days previous.

“Eddie,” Buck whimpered, squirming, as arousal pooled in his gut.

“You know, I haven’t had dinner yet,” Eddie said, casually light. “It’s a good thing, huh?”

Eddie lifted the flowy bottom of his dress with such care, like he was handling something precious, as he exposed Buck’s lower half.

“You were such a good boy, thinking about me,” Eddie said, spreading Buck’s thighs even wider. “Now I’m gonna make you feel good, baby.”

“Oh, fuck,” Buck moaned loudly as Eddie skipped over his leaking cock to start lapping at his wet hole.

Eddie moaned in tandem as soon as he got a taste of Buck’s slick, diving in like a man starved.

His tongue traced over every ounce of slick that had leaked out of Buck’s hole, getting his chin wet and messy as he sank his tongue in deeper for more. His hands gripped Buck’s waist to prevent him from bucking him off as Buck threw his head back and his hips twitched forward.

“Eddie, Eddie, God—” Buck whimpered, scrambling for purchase by tangling his fingers into Eddie’s hair, his thighs squeezing around Eddie’s head.

Eddie worked his tongue in somehow deeper, easing into a rhythm that had Buck seeing stars and gasping for breath. Eddie kept going, sucking on his rim before diving back in, his tongue curling expertly.

Buck’s thighs relaxed as Eddie pulled his mouth away just a hair, letting his hot breath fan over Buck’s hole. Buck felt himself clenching around nothing and leaking even more slick as he took in the sight of Eddie peering up at him through his lashes, his mouth and chin glistening with slick.

“Mi chica guapa,” Eddie said, flashing his fang teeth with a smirk. “I’m gonna make you come like this.”

“Eddie,” Buck gasped as Eddie ducked his head down, eagerly licking up the copious amount of slick that Buck was producing.

Eddie removed one of his hands from Buck’s waist and eased in a finger, barely meeting any resistance. Buck knotted his hands even firmer into Eddie’s hair, tugging his head back to his core where his hole twitched and pulsed, wanting to suck Eddie in.

“I could stay down here forever,” Eddie muttered into the crease of Buck’s ass, and his words sent slivers of heat through Buck’s abdomen. “You taste so good, baby. Fuck.”

“I think I’d miss—” Buck’s sentence disjointed itself as he gasped at Eddie’s tongue, rhythmic and gentle and searing, all in one. “—kissing you too much,” he finished hastily, his legs beginning to shake as Eddie slid his finger in once more, crooking it to rub over his prostate.

Eddie groaned, using his free hand to lift one of Buck’s long legs onto his shoulder, giving him even more access to eat Buck alive.

Buck tossed his head back, his breath ragged. “If you keep— I’m gonna—” his hips jolted, nearly riding Eddie’s face. He’d be a bit embarrassed if he weren’t so turned on. He teetered on the edge, all of his limbs strung tight.

“Don’t stop, don’t stop, don’t— oh, fuck, fuck—” Buck chanted mindlessly, writhing as Eddie didn’t let up. If anything, he got sloppier, and increased his enthusiasm as Buck’s legs clamped either side of his head, his hands pulling at Eddie’s hair so hard it had to hurt.

His orgasm rocked through him as his pleasure crested. He wasn’t sure what noises were escaping him as he gasped and keened, his cock spurting spend over his belly. Slick seemed to pour out of his entrance as Eddie kept going, elongating his orgasm, and drinking him in.

“Eds,” He slurred, his arms flopping uselessly onto the bed, his entire body buzzing with oversensitivity.

Eddie hummed, moving his mouth away from Buck’s hole to continue lapping up the slick that coated his thighs.

Eddie removed Buck’s leg from off his shoulder, carefully resting it on the bed.

Eddie dragged his lips over Buck’s thigh, up to his hip, and past his navel, smearing slick everywhere he went. His mouth seared over Buck’s exposed skin like he couldn’t get enough, and he scented him with each pass.

It was maddening and loving.

Buck used all the strength he could muster to grab at any point of Eddie he could reach. His hand landed haphazardly on the nape of Eddie’s neck, and he hauled him up, while Eddie huffed amusedly.

As soon as he got a good look at Eddie’s face, he shivered, sharp arousal bolting through his veins just on the outskirts of too much this close to his orgasm.

Eddie’s face was covered in his slick, wet, and shiny on his chin, cheeks, and even on his nose.

Buck whimpered as his hole clenched violently, and his cock made a valiant effort to harden.

Eddie licked his lips, then curled them into a smug smirk when he took in the look on Buck’s face.

Buck loved whenever Eddie got smug or cocky. There was no way he was going to make it to the other side of thirty if Eddie kept being so hot.

“Love making you come like that,” Eddie said, casually, as if Buck’s brain wasn’t currently leaking out of his ears. “You’re so pretty when you come.”

“You’re insane,” Buck bit out, before drawing Eddie forcibly into an open-mouthed kiss.

He tasted his own slick as Eddie moaned, curling his tongue behind Buck’s teeth to explore the roof of his mouth. Buck didn’t think his slick was anything to write home about, though his inner Omega was purring with gleaming satisfaction at Eddie being painted in his slick, where his scent was most potent.

Buck broke the kiss to lick over Eddie’s chin and cheek, cleaning him up.

Unbelievably, Eddie was still fully clothed in his uniform. Buck knew he was going to be haunted by the picture of Eddie, uniform-clad, with slick all over his face, the next time he was at work.

Eddie was a fucking menace.

And Buck adored him.

Buck’s hands scrambled frantically to unbuckle Eddie’s belt, kissing him the entire time.

Buck made a happy sound of success when he got Eddie’s belt loose from the loops of his slacks, causing Eddie to laugh into his mouth.

“You could help me, you know,” Buck snarked, nearly tearing off the button and snapping the zipper on the slacks in his haste.

“Hmm,” Eddie hummed consideringly. “I’m busy, I think,” He said, and sank his teeth into Buck’s bottom lip, kissing him thoroughly and dirty.

Buck shoved his slacks and boxers down to his thighs all in one go, springing Eddie’s cock free. Buck reached down, getting his hand around Eddie’s cock, thick and hard. He went to line Eddie up with his hole when Eddie stopped him.

“Christ, baby,” Eddie breathed. “Let me get my pants off first.”

“Oh, now he wants to help,” Buck muttered to himself.

Eddie’s eyes snapped to his. “Watch it,” He said lowly, brushing his thumb over Buck’s lips warningly. Buck sucked Eddie’s thumb into his mouth, kitten licking the pad of it as he drew it in deeper, maintaining eye contact the entire time and fluttering his lashes for good measure.

Eddie slipped his thumb out, tracing along the spit that lingered on Buck’s lips.

Eddie took his time shrugging off his slacks and boxers fully as Buck watched him, thrumming with need.

Eddie finally, finally, crawled back on top of him, caging Buck in with his arms on either side of his head.

Buck couldn’t help his lovestruck grin. “Hi,” he whispered, bunching up Eddie’s uniform shirt in his fists.

He was rewarded with one of Eddie’s besotted smiles, his fang teeth poking out, letting themselves be known as his eyes softened, crinkling around the corners.

“Hi,” Eddie whispered back. He kissed each splotch of pink that made up Buck’s birthmark, his lips so achingly soft, Buck’s chest splintered open. “I hope they get this,” he murmured into Buck’s eyebrow. He kissed each spot again, punctuating it with a “mwah” sound that Buck had yet to pin down if he was consciously aware he did.

Buck’s breath hitched, tears stinging at the back of his eyes.

He placed his palm on Eddie’s chest, right over the spot his heart rested behind his ribs. In a perfect world, he’d be able to reach inside. He’d cradle it between his hands, ensuring its every beat and safety for as long as he lived.

“I hope they get this,” Buck said meaningfully, his voice breaking.

Eddie splayed his own hand over Buck’s, squeezing it in his grasp. He took Buck’s hand off his chest, kissing each one of his knuckles.

When he was done, Buck cupped his cheek, his pinky smoothing along the tiny scar at the line of his jaw he got his first time shaving. Eddie closed his eyes, his mouth scrunching—the tell Buck had long ago memorized that signaled he was fighting off the urge to cry.

“I don’t—” Eddie started shakily. “You’re—” he took a shuddering breath in.

Buck was grateful for every breath that cycled through his lungs.

When his eyes opened, they were pleading. His irises darted back and forth, scanning over Buck’s face like he was begging him to understand all the words he couldn’t get out.

Buck waited patiently.

He’d always wait patiently for Eddie.

“You’re everything,” Eddie said desperately, turning his head to kiss Buck’s palm.

“I love you,” Buck said, wishing he could make up a new word that encapsulated how he felt. Love wasn’t enough to describe the feeling that glowed sunny and golden bright underneath his skin whenever Eddie looked at him.

Eddie leaned forward, kissing the center of Buck’s forehead tenderly—like everything he saved for Buck. He was tender, and kind, and beautiful, and encased in an unbreakable red string that tethered itself to Buck.

Sometimes Buck liked to think the red string in his mind circled them from the moment they were born, connecting them, sitting loose and unhurried, biding its time until it went taut, the minute Eddie walked into the station for his first shift.

“I love you,” Eddie said, his lips skimming Buck’s forehead with each syllable. He kissed the bridge of his nose. “I love you.” His chin. “I love you.” The thudding of his pulse in his neck. “I love you.” His clavicle. “I love you.” His sternum. “I love you.” They skated a path over the swell of his bump. “I love you.”

Buck felt a tear slide down his cheek as he watched Eddie on his descent. Rapturous.

“Come back up here,” Buck croaked, and Eddie did.

Buck captured his mouth with his own, attempting to pour all the love in his body into the kiss. “I love you. I love you. I love you.” Buck mumbled over and over again into Eddie’s mouth.

When their lips eventually parted, Buck pressed their foreheads together, and they breathed in the same air.

“I want to bond with you,” Eddie said, his words coming out in a rush. “For real. I don’t want just a proximity bond. I want a real bond. I want to marry you.”

Buck pulled his head back, letting it fall to rest on the pillow beneath him, to get an unobstructed view of Eddie’s face.

“Now? Like, right now?” Buck asked. He would if Eddie wanted him to, but—

“Well, not right now,” Eddie conceded. “But soon, yeah?”

“Not while I’m pregnant,” Buck blurted out. He chewed on his bottom lip. Eddie slid it out of the hold of his teeth with his thumb before he could break any skin. “It’s not that I think— because I know we’re not— I… I just don’t want it to seem like we’re only doing it because I’m pregnant.”

“Okay,” Eddie said easily, running his nose along Buck’s scent gland. “Whatever you want.” His lips grazed over Buck’s bare mating gland. “I’m not going to change my mind.”

“After they’re born, I’m holding you to that,” Buck said, sighing as Eddie continued to scent him. “I wanna bond on our wedding night, and I want to be able to get drunk with my husband at the reception.”

Eddie snorted against his neck. It tickled. “You’re cute when you’re drunk,” he told him, smiling into the spot he was still scenting.

“I think I’m cute all the time,” Buck said, pretending to be offended. He didn’t really. He thought he was annoying most of the time. He had too much energy, was too emotional, talked too much—was too much of everything in general. He never felt that way around Eddie, though. Eddie had a way of receiving those traits like they were endearing.

“Yeah, but you’re cuter drunk,” Eddie said absently. “You get so excited, and more touchy,” he explained.

Buck made a face. “I’m always pretty touchy,” he argued.

“Sure, but it was more,” Eddie said. Buck weaved his hands through Eddie’s hair as Eddie laughed into his neck. “God, I’m such an idiot.”

“Well, yeah,” Buck said to be a little shit, and earned himself the grazing of Eddie’s teeth over his pulse point. “What about this time?”

“I used to look forward to us going out with the team because you’d get a few drinks in you and you’d be stuck to my side. You would practically crawl into my lap by the end of the night, and I liked that. I also liked taking you home, knowing that you got home safe because of me.”

The ‘and I would have never admitted it then’ was left unsaid.

Buck’s cheeks flushed. “I only did it because I wanted to be close to you.”

“I have a few ideas of how we can get pretty close,” Eddie teased, reminding Buck with a jolt what they’d been in the middle of.

Buck kicked his legs wide, eager and wanting.

“I’m liking the sound of these ideas,” Buck said breathlessly as Eddie ground his hips down, his hard cock teasing at Buck’s slick and open entrance. “Oh, fuck,” Buck whined simultaneously to Eddie’s responding groan as the head of his cock caught on Buck’s rim, slipping away from plunging inside due to how much slick was gathered and leaking from his hole.

“So wet,” Eddie grunted, marveling at the utter mess between Buck’s legs.

“In me, c’mon,” Buck urged, sliding his hands down to squeeze at Eddie’s hips.

“Yeah, okay, fuck, baby,” Eddie said hurriedly, reaching down to properly line himself up.

Like every time Eddie slid inside of him, Buck felt as if he was being made whole.

Eddie’s cock filled the gaping emptiness inside of him.

“God, why aren’t you always inside me?” Buck said without meaning to, once Eddie was fully inside him.

Eddie’s hips twitched, clearly holding himself back from blindly rutting himself into Buck’s warm, wet heat. “Having that same thought,” Eddie muttered, his voice strained.

He drew himself back before thrusting home, guiding himself into a languid pace that set all of Buck’s nerve endings on fire.

Eddie buried his face into Buck’s neck once more. “Can’t believe you thought I wouldn’t want to fuck you,” Eddie said, like it was the craziest thing he’d ever heard. Buck’s brain was currently scrambled as he worked himself on Eddie’s cock, meeting each one of his thrusts, unable to come up with a snarky reply.

That was fine. Because Eddie wasn’t done.

“Thought about this all day,” Eddie’s words puffed into Buck’s neck. “Couldn’t wait to get inside of you. It was fucking killing me, baby. Thinking about you here, waiting for me. Couldn’t focus on anything because all I could think about was how you feel around my knot.”

Buck’s hole clenched, his eyes rolling up at the filth falling from Eddie’s mouth, and Eddie let out a strangled groan.

“God, Eddie,” Buck whimpered, as Eddie picked up his pace, fucking into him hard and deep. He wriggled his hands under Eddie’s uniform shirt that he hadn’t taken off, desperate for purchase. The muscles that lined Eddie’s back and shoulders flexed as he held himself up, fucking into Buck with a single-minded focus.

“That’s it, baby, that’s it,” Eddie crooned. “Doing so good for me.”

Buck moaned, feeling his second orgasm rapidly approaching. He went vice tight around Eddie’s cock as his rhythm faltered, his knot already beginning to swell at Buck’s rim.

“Fuck, I’m not gonna last, baby,” Eddie grunted.

“‘M close. Want your knot,” Buck whined, shuddering as Eddie’s cock pressed against every tender spot inside of him. Sparks danced and fizzled up the base of his spine. He wasn’t going to last long either.

“Yeah,” Eddie panted. “Gonna knot you so full, cosita. Gonna give it to you, baby, fuck—” Eddie’s knot popped abruptly, grinding his hips to a halt as his knot locked them together, his cock buried inside Buck as far as it could go.

Buck careened into his orgasm, writhing and pulsing around Eddie’s knot. Filled to the brim with Eddie’s come, he felt all of his instincts settle. He’d satisfied his Alpha, the father of his pups, his husband and mate in all but on paper. The gooey pleasure at satisfying his Alpha was almost more pleasurable than the orgasm he’d just melted through.

Buck grinned dopily up at Eddie, his eyes half-lidded.

Eddie nuzzled his cheek. “Are you good like this? I don’t wanna crush you.”

Buck hummed, lifting his legs to wrap them around Eddie’s waist. “What a way to go.”

Eddie huffed out a laugh, bringing his hand down to rub at Buck’s bump. He glanced up at Buck, his expression serious. “You know I meant it, right?”

Buck wracked his brain. It was kind of hard to focus after being fucked so thoroughly. Especially when Eddie’s knot was still inside of him. “Um. Which part?”

“I’m always going to be attracted to you. I’m always gonna wanna fuck you. You being pregnant kinda does it for me,” Eddie told him, his cock spurting out another round of come inside of him. “Clearly,” Eddie finished, the tips of his ears turning pink.

“Even if my nose gets bigger?” Buck blurted out.

Eddie blinked at him. “What?”

“That can happen!” Buck insisted. “Your blood vessels can dilate because of hormonal changes, increasing blood flow to your nasal passages, and then boom, giant nose!”

“I would still want to fuck you as Pinocchio,” Eddie swore solemnly.

Buck wheezed out a laugh. Eddie had to hold him in place as his shoulders shook, preventing him from tugging on his knot. “Shut up!” Buck cried, peeling with laughter. “That’s so fucking funny.”

Eddie gave him a pleased little smile, his eyes soft. “All I do is try to make you laugh, baby.”

Buck’s laughter petered out, and he worked to get his breath back. “You do,” He promised.

“I hope you know you’re never taking this off,” Eddie said, thumbing at the edge of Buck’s nightgown.

Buck could feel his grin morphing into something bright and sunny. “Really?”

Eddie pressed his knot a bit more firmly inside of Buck. “Yes, really,” he said meaningfully.

Buck purred happily. Eddie fully relaxed on top of him, pressing his face into Buck’s neck with a contented sigh. Buck carded his fingers through his hair for a few minutes before he broke the silence.

“Can you reach my phone? I wanna play Scrabble if we’re gonna be here for a while.”

Eddie made a grumbling noise. “You kick my ass when we play Scrabble.”

Buck blinked at him, the picture of innocence. “That’s what makes it fun.”

Eddie rolled his eyes, though he did dutifully reach over to collect Buck’s phone from the nightstand. “One of these days I’m gonna beat you.”

Buck kissed him, utterly delighted, snatching his phone from out of Eddie’s hands. “I’m looking forward to it.”

—

Buck waited for Eddie to spit his first round of toothpaste into the sink, his hips leaned up against the sink counter next to him, to hedge, as nonchalantly as he could, “Hey, can I talk to you about something?”

Eddie’s eyes met his in the mirror, his toothbrush dangling from his mouth. “What’s up?” Eddie asked, his words barely legible.

Buck was so stupidly in love with him.

“Maddie reminded me of something today that I need you to know I honestly completely forgot existed. I’ve never used it. I don’t even really know how to use it? But it’s there, and I figured I should tell you about it and that we’d talk about it,” Buck said vaguely.

Eddie spat the remaining toothpaste in his mouth into the sink. “Okay…” he said slowly. “You’re not giving me much to go off, bud.”

Buck nodded, rubbing his hands over his bump. “So. I kind of have a trust fund?”

“A trust fund,” Eddie repeated, raising one of his eyebrows. “And you’ve never used it?”

“I’ve never used it,” Buck confirmed firmly. “I don’t even know how much is in it. I’ve always hated the idea of taking money from my parents. I’ve been fine on my own.”

Eddie made a face at the mention of Buck’s parents. “I can understand that. I’m not crazy about the idea of taking money from your parents either.”

“I’m not even supposed to have one,” Buck confessed. He allowed the lingering pinpricks of hurt to sink in, the ones long associated with his parents and their lack of love and care. “They only ever made one for Maddie.”

“That’s fucked up,” Eddie said passionately, slinking over to Buck so he could wrap his arms around his waist. Buck hooked his chin over Eddie’s shoulder, melting into the comfort of his embrace.

“Maddie thought so, too. She split hers with me when I turned twenty-one and made one for me.” Buck explained. Eddie’s hands found a sore spot at the base of his spine and kneaded into the muscle. Buck sighed. “Oh, that feels good. Keep doing that.”

Eddie hummed. “How much are we talking?”

“It’s probably more now with all the interest, since I’ve never touched it,” Buck said thoughtfully. “Maddie’s was a million, and she split it fifty-fifty. So, half a million plus whatever interest?”

“Half a—” Eddie croaked out, peeling himself away so he could properly look at Buck, his eyes wide and gobsmacked. “Jesus Christ, Buck.”

“Maddie used some of hers to get away from Doug, because it was money he didn’t have access to and couldn’t trace,” Buck said nervously. “I think they used some of it to put a down payment on their house, and the rest is for Jee’s college fund.”

Eddie softened. “I’m glad she had that.”

“Yeah,” Buck agreed. “Me, too.”

Eddie hummed. “Not that I’m not loving the open and honest communication going on here, but why are we talking about this now? If you’ve never used it and never want to use it.”

Buck sent pleading eyes in Eddie’s direction, and Eddie folded, tucking him back into his arms.

“Well, Maddie said— and I was thinking…” Buck trailed off. “We should use it, you know? We’ve been worried about having enough to get the kind of house we want. I hate taking money from my parents, but it’s not really from my parents, it’s from Maddie. We could be able to afford a really nice house with it, and I want to set up a college fund for Chris and the girls.”

“Are you sure?” Eddie asked. “I don’t want you to do anything you don’t want to do. We can figure it out.”

“It’s stupid to not use it,” Buck rationalized. “What better fuck you to my parents than to use it for building our family?”

“If you’re sure.”

“I’m sure.”

Eddie kissed the side of his head. “Alright.”

“Will you go to the bank with me? I want your input and to make sure you have access to it,” Buck told him.

“Yeah, we’ll find a day we’re both off to do it,” Eddie said easily. He placed another short kiss by Buck’s ear. “Thank you for telling me.”

“I just didn’t want you to think it was something I was keeping from you. Because I wasn’t!” Buck insisted.

“I know, baby,” Eddie replied, squeezing Buck’s hip. “Now brush your teeth so we can go to bed. I’m about to pass out.”

“At least I’ll be at work with you tomorrow,” Buck said, wiggling out of Eddie’s arms to reach for his toothbrush.

“I love how you say that as if that won’t be even more of a distraction,” Eddie quipped.

Buck grinned around the toothbrush in his mouth, noticing how Eddie’s eyes had slid down to his bump. “Eyes up here, handsome.”

Eddie took a step, cocking his hip against the doorway of the bathroom, crossing his arms. “Nah, I think I’ll look my fill.” His eyes raked up every inch of Buck’s frame, blazing heat everywhere they paused.

Every time Buck thought he could catch Eddie out, he had a way of flipping it back onto him.

Buck rinsed his mouth. “We’re not having sex again,” Buck told him sternly. “We already washed the sheets.”

Eddie’s grin gleamed, looking like the cat who got the cream. Buck realized that he might have given too much away at how much his gaze was affecting him.

“Who said anything about sex, baby?” Eddie said darkly.

Buck sort of wanted to strangle him. And fuck him. And love him. And marry him. It was a complex array of emotions. He contained multitudes.

“Watch it, Diaz,” Buck said, turning to face him.

“Oh, I’m watching it alright,” Eddie muttered, his eyes zeroed in on the line of skin where Buck’s bump was exposed due to his shirt riding up.

Buck inched forward, putting a hand on Eddie’s chest to push him lightly. “Bedtime. Now.”

If anything, Eddie’s grin only widened, his brown eyes sparkling. “Your ‘Mom voice’ is pretty hot.”

“Oh, for the love of—” Buck bit out, shoving him properly. “We’re going to sleep. I might let you kiss me a little if you behave. If I’m feeling generous.”

Eddie laughed, his shoulders shaking with the force of it. Thankfully, it deterred him enough to give Buck the opportunity to corral him into their bedroom.

“Shit, wait, there was something I wanted to show you,” Buck said suddenly as he remembered his other purchase from earlier that day. Eddie raised an eyebrow at him, and Buck rolled his eyes. “Not like earlier. Keep it in your pants.”

“Forgive me for wanting to have sex with the love of my life,” Eddie said dryly. “Irreprehensible, I know.”

Buck waved him off. “We have to get started on a registry,” he reminded him. “We have so much stuff to get, I almost don’t even want to think about it.” He located the Target bag where the newborn blankets he’d bought remained tucked inside with triumph. “I did get something, though. It’s not much, but…” He shrugged, not finishing his sentence.

“But…” Eddie encouraged, peeling back the sheets to climb into his side of the bed.

“It’s for the girls,” Buck said shyly, his fingers squeezed tightly around the plastic packaging.

He decided to finally open it in a split-second decision. He popped the snap button and slid out both blankets, folded tightly, though still as soft as the preview window had shown. He brought the blankets over to their bed as Eddie watched him.

“So,” Buck prompted, depositing the blankets onto the bed. “What do you think?”

Eddie picked up one of the blankets with great care, running his hands over the soft fabric as if it were a delicacy.

He took in a sharp breath, and the mood sombered.

“It all feels kind of real now,” he said quietly after a few moments.

“Yeah,” Buck agreed, swallowing around the lump in his throat. “We’re gonna have to start getting things, and they’re gonna be people.”

Eddie nodded. “C’mere,” he said softly, tugging Buck into his lap. It took some shuffling, with Buck’s growing bump, though they managed it after some strategic maneuvering.

“I thought you’d like them,” Buck whispered shyly.

“Why would you…?” Eddie furrowed his brows, and then it dawned on him, a look of horror crossing his face. “Fuck, you saw my baby pictures.” He threw his arm over his eyes, groaning loudly.

Buck laughed, pressing his face into Eddie’s neck. “No, they were so cute!”

“I can’t believe this,” Eddie muttered, while Buck continued to giggle.

“They were cute and I loved them,” Buck insisted, wriggling himself to be as close to Eddie as possible.

“I’m never recovering from this,” Eddie said dramatically, the tips of his ears pink.

“Probably not,” Buck confirmed, kissing his cheek.

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“oh, baby, here we are.

i made a wish on shootin’ stars.”

— “kitchen” / kid cudi

────────────────────────────────────

TWENTY-TWO WEEKS

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True to her word, and with only a few days' notice, Abuela flew back into LA for a visit. She was decidedly staying with Pepa, since Buck and Eddie didn’t have any extra room to host her. Not that Pepa minded, she was delighted to have her mother in town.

Buck was delighted, too, however, he had also worked himself into a frenzy.

“Baby, you’ve gotta relax,” Eddie said worriedly from where he was hovering as Buck wiped down their counters. He’d already washed all the hardwood floors, vacuumed all the carpeting, and, in general, had been on a tear cleaning the house.

He’d forced Eddie to clean the bathroom, since the smell of bleach made him nauseous, and to pick up around their bedroom, despite Eddie pointing out that he didn’t think Abuela would be snooping through their room during her visit.

Every latent Omega instinct in Buck’s body was rearing its head, demanding that their home be clean, organized, and perfect for Abuela’s impending arrival. He had to show he was providing a good home for his mate and pups.

He knew it was irrational. Abuela had never been judgmental, and certainly wouldn’t be walking around their house with white gloves during her visit.

Ration had left the building, though. Buck was running on instinct. Sure, Abuela loved him when he was Eddie’s friend helping out, but this was different, he—

Eddie interrupted his spiral again, coming up behind him and wrapping his hands around his waist. “Mi vida, you need to sit down.”

“Eds, no, I need to clean—” Buck protested.

“Uh uh,” Eddie clicked his tongue. “What you need is to go into the living room and put your feet up. What are my abuela and tia going to think when they come in and see I’ve let my pregnant mate run himself ragged, hm?”

“I’m not, I’m just—” Buck protested once more. But Eddie wasn’t having it.

“The house is clean, baby,” Eddie said, kissing the nape of his neck. “Go change while I finish up in here. I want you on the couch, relaxing, within the next five minutes, okay?”

Buck sighed, and reluctantly replied, “Okay.”

Eddie gave one last fleeting kiss to the back of his neck before they parted, and Buck shuffled into the bedroom. Following Eddie’s orders, he slipped out of his dirtied clothes from cleaning and threw on one of Eddie’s old LAFD hoodies and a pair of sweatpants.

Buck hadn’t even gotten to the couch yet when he heard their doorbell ring.

“Eds?” Buck called into the kitchen. “Were you expecting someone?”

“No, that’s weird,” Eddie called back, sounding odd. “Can you get the door?”

“Yeah, I got it,” Buck said, unlatching the chain and pulling open the door.

He was greeted with Abuela and Pepa’s smiling faces, boxes in hand, with Athena a step behind them.

“What are you guys doing here?” Buck blurted out, startled.

Eddie was suddenly behind him. “I’ll go help Maddie,” He said, moving past Buck in the doorway.

Buck whipped his head to stare at him, his eyes wide. “Maddie’s here, too? Wait, you knew about this?”

“Maybe,” Eddie said non-committedly, placing his hands on Buck’s hips to guide him out of the way so he could pass him.

“I—” Buck said, at a loss for words. He blinked at everyone on the porch. “Sorry, I— come in,” he stuttered as they all bounded in.

“Evancito, it’s been too long,” Abuela cooed, cupping Buck’s cheeks. She brushed her hands over Buck’s arms, taking him in. “Ay, I would’ve known he was carrying girls,” She said with a conspiratorial wink sent in Pepa’s direction. “You’re carrying high.”

“Good to see you, cariño,” Pepa said, leaning forward to kiss him on the cheek, smearing dark red lipstick in her wake. She strode off to sit the mysterious boxes her and Abuela had brought with them in the dining room.

“Not that I don’t love having you here,” Buck said, flicking his gaze over to Athena, who looked deeply amused. “But, um, what?”

“Maddie’s the one with the plan,” Athena said, her lips quirking up into a fond smirk.

Just as she said it, Maddie and Eddie came in through the front door with a stack of wooden boxes. Maddie sat the wooden boxes onto the dining room table with flourish, Eddie assisting her, as Buck followed after them, bewildered.

“I’m lost,” Buck said helplessly.

“These,” Maddie said, gesturing to the boxes. She took one and put it off to the side, leaving three in a pile. “Are baby boxes. One for each of the girls, and, because I know you, I knew as soon as we sat down to put them together you’d want to make one for Christopher.”

“That’s where we come in,” Pepa said, patting at the boxes her and Abuela brought meaningfully. “I got Helena to send some of Christopher’s baby things she was still holding on to. Under the guise of a sentimental family tree.”

“I—” Buck choked out, tears rapidly welling in his eyes. “Maddie.”

He launched himself forward to yank Maddie into a fierce hug. When they parted, her eyes were also wet.

“I can’t take all the credit,” she said with a watery laugh. “It was Eddie’s idea.”

Buck turned and saw Eddie leaning against the doorway, the softest, fondest smile on his face.

“You did this for me?” Buck asked, his voice breaking.

Eddie shrugged, as if it wasn’t a big deal. As if it wasn’t the most romantic, heartfelt, sweeping gesture anyone had ever done for Buck in his life.

Because if Maddie knew Buck, then Eddie knew him, too.

Eddie had been the one to pick up the pieces of Buck’s shattered existence after his parents had rolled into town and made him question every single thing in his life. Eddie had been the one he turned to after begging his parents to “love him anyway.” Eddie had been the one to see him for everything he was, the good, the bad, the messy in between, and had done what Buck wasn’t sure was possible — he loved him anyway.

“‘Course I did,” Eddie said simply. “I love you.”

Buck reached him in three steps, flinging his arms around his neck.

“I love you,” Buck said desperately, firmly kissing him on the lips. “I love you so much.”

“I know you do, baby,” Eddie murmured.

“Nuestro pequeño Eddito,” Abuela spoke up with a dreamy sigh. “¿No es romántico?”

“Como si ni siquiera estuviéramos en la habitación,” Pepa whispered back.

Buck laced his fingers with Eddie’s. He glanced between him and the collection of ladies gathered in their dining room, who’d all at some point taken on the role of mothering him, his heart impossibly full.

“Is now a good time to mention I have no idea what actually goes in a baby box?” He said sheepishly, which spawned laughter from Maddie, Athena, Pepa, and Abuela.

“That’s what we’re here for, Buckaroo,” Athena said affectionately. “Now,” She said, tilting her head towards the rest of the group. “Let’s get cracking, shall we?”

—

Later, once Abuela and Pepa had left, smattering Buck with more kisses and fussing, and Athena had bowed out, the baby boxes overflowing with mementos and plans for what to put in the ones for the girls once they had arrived—Maddie snagged Buck’s arm.

“There was something else I wanted to give you,” She said meaningfully.

“More?” Buck joked. “Mads, this was already…” He trailed off, not sure how to express his gratitude for what everyone that night had done for him.

“I know,” Maddie said, her eyes shining. “But those were for Christopher and the girls. This one’s for you.”

Maddie flurried off from the kitchen to the dining room, leaving Buck and Eddie alone for a moment.

Eddie mimed zipping his lips when Buck shot him a beseeching look.

When Maddie left and Buck was able to get his hands on him, Eddie wouldn’t know what hit him, that was for sure.

Maddie returned with a wooden box in her hand, the same as the ones they’d been putting together earlier.

“Did we forget something?” Buck said, his brows pinching together in confusion.

“No,” Maddie said, giving him a soft smile as she placed it softly onto the counter. “This one’s yours.”

It was then that Buck realized that the box was engraved, like Christopher’s, but with “Buck” on the top, carved delft into the wood.

“Mads,” Buck whispered, his throat closing as Maddie undid the latches and opened the box, revealing its contents. It was packed to the brim with all the postcards he’d sent on his travels, pictures of him and Maddie from when he was little, and it even included the embossed certificate he’d received when graduating from his probationary year.

His fingers thumbed over the pictures, stumbling upon the friendship bracelet he’d made for Maddie when playing with one of the girls in their cul-de-sac, no older than seven.

“You kept this?” He asked, his voice trembling.

“You made it for me,” Maddie said, like that was the only explanation needed.

Buck yanked Maddie into a bone-crushing hug.

When they broke apart, Maddie brushed a few of his curls out of his face. “You always mattered to me,” she said with conviction. “I’m sorry they made you feel like you didn’t.”

“I always knew I mattered to you,” Buck told her, his voice thick. “Even when it felt like I had no one, I knew I had you.”

Maddie’s smile was shaky as she held up her pinky. “Promise?”

“I promise,” Buck said, linking their pinkies together.

“Eds,” Buck called over to him. “You gotta look at this.”

“Oh, he’s seen it,” Maddie said with a small laugh. “Who do you think snagged your certificate for me?”

“Eddie,” Buck said, raw and cracked open.

Eddie grinned sideways at him. “Guess we’re even with baby pictures now, huh?” He and Maddie shared a glance, his grin widening. “You really liked the Power Rangers and Transformers.”

Buck groaned, though he could feel himself tearing up all over again. “Bumblebee,” He managed. “I liked Bumblebee.”

“It was cute,” Eddie said.

“Well,” Maddie interjected, “I think that’s my cue to leave. I, for one, have your very adorable niece to put to bed.”

Buck couldn’t help but to pull her into another hug. “Tell her I love her and give her an extra kiss for me.”

“I will,” Maddie swore, and kissed his birthmark for good measure, like she used to do when he was little. “I love you, kiddo.”

“Love you to infinity,” Buck replied, causing Maddie to snort.

Buck walked her to the door after she gathered her purse and the rest of her things, Eddie close behind him.

“Eddie?” Maddie said, her voice steady. “Thank you for taking care of him.”

Eddie flushed, the apples of his cheeks turning pink in the way that Buck adored. “Thank you for raising him.”

“Ugh,” Maddie said, waving her hand good-naturedly. “I gotta get out of here before I start crying again.”

“Let me know when you’re home safe,” Buck said.

“Will do,” Maddie replied easily.

Buck watched her get into her car and waited until she’d backed out of the driveway to shut their front door. He turned abruptly, zeroing in on Eddie.

Buck grabbed him by the front of his shirt, tugging him forcefully into a violent kiss. He used his momentum and Eddie’s surprise to start shoving him backwards. He rammed him up against the wall next to the door, narrowly avoiding the shoe-rack and the art that was hung there—the art that used to be in his loft—never separating their mouths for a second.

“You’re insane,” He said into Eddie’s mouth, pressing up against him completely. “Insane.”

Eddie laughed, and it vibrated into Buck’s throat. It was beautiful. He was so beautiful, and kind, and loving, and thoughtful, and Buck was crawling out of his skin with the desire to show him how much he meant to him.

Eddie’s hands slunk around Buck’s waist to grab his ass, and Buck moaned into the kiss.

“You love me,” Buck said in between frantic kisses. “You really love me.”

“You’re just getting that?” Eddie said breathlessly, hardly able to get the words out through Buck’s onslaught.

“Couch,” Buck groaned, garbled as Eddie’s tongue curled around the back of his front teeth. “Couch, now.”

He pawed at Eddie’s belt buckle with one hand, his other hand busy tangling in Eddie’s hair, angling his head to deepen their kiss. Eddie’s belt buckle jangled, and Buck could feel himself slicking in his boxers. The sound of Eddie’s belt unbuckling was so hot, Buck was sure he had a Pavlovian response to it at this point.

Eddie surged off the wall, guiding Buck towards the couch. As soon as they were in range, Buck pushed Eddie down onto the couch. He landed with an ‘oof,’ his legs spread as he stared up at Buck with hazy eyes and a slack jaw.

Buck sank to his knees, his hands scrambling immediately to Eddie’s belt to get it the rest of the way off. He made a noise of satisfaction once he tore it free from the loops of Eddie’s jeans and tossed it to the other side of the room. He flicked open the button and unzipped Eddie’s jeans, tugging at them unceremoniously until Eddie seemed to get the picture and lifted his hips, allowing for Buck to yank them all the way down.

He freed them from each of Eddie’s ankles, purring happily when his bare legs were exposed. He petted over Eddie’s thighs, savoring how his dark hair tickled his palms. He nosed at the bulge in Eddie’s boxers, and looked up at Eddie through his flaxen lashes.

“‘M gonna suck you off,” Buck told him, licking his lips. “After you come on my face, I’m gonna ride you until you knot me, ‘kay?”

Eddie carded his fingers through Buck’s hair, and Buck nuzzled into his touch.

“You don’t have to do this to say thanks, baby,” Eddie said, his voice low.

“I know,” Buck said, because he did know. He used to view sex as transactional when he was younger. But, never with Eddie. Sex with Eddie could never be transactional. “I wanna show you how much I love you. Will you let me?”

“Yeah,” Eddie said, sucking in a shattered breath. “Okay, baby, fuck.”

Buck smiled, slipping his hands under the waistband of Eddie’s boxers and sliding them down. Immediately, he mouthed at the base of Eddie’s cock, kissing tenderly at the spot Eddie’s knot would grow as Eddie hissed, his hands tightening in Buck’s hair.

“Wait,” Eddie said suddenly. “Wait, wait, wait—”

Buck peeled his mouth away, looking up at Eddie with wide, worried eyes. “What? What’s wrong?”

“Your knees, baby. Hold on,” Eddie said, reaching for one of the couch cushions. He tossed it onto the ground, entwining his hands with Buck’s to help him ease both of his knees onto the cushion. “That okay? Is your leg okay?”

Buck melted. “I’m good,” he said, wanting to assuage Eddie’s concerns. He brought his mouth down to suck a bruise onto Eddie’s inner thigh. He made sure he was making direct eye contact with Eddie when he said, “Thank you, Papi.”

Buck was absolutely delighted to see Eddie’s cock twitch at his words, and a bead of pre-come leaked out of his slit.

“Jesus,” Eddie groaned, and Buck took that as permission to get to work.

He made a ring with his fingers around Eddie’s knot to prevent it from popping and flattened his tongue, licking from base to tip. He swirled his tongue around the tip of Eddie’s cock, wetting it.

With no more preamble, he relaxed his jaw and sank down, inch by inch, onto Eddie’s cock, drawing it into his mouth as far as it could go. He breathed in through his nose and splayed his forearm against Eddie’s hips, holding him down as Eddie’s cock breached the tight ring of muscle at the back of his throat.

His throat clicked as he swallowed, his nose meeting Eddie’s pelvis as he sucked him down completely. He let Eddie rest in his throat for a few seconds as Eddie cursed loudly, before he pulled back.

He bobbed his head, setting up a rhythm as Eddie’s hips twitched.

“You’re so fucking pretty on your knees,” Eddie bit out, his voice strained. “Fuck, you’re incredible. Baby, your mouth.”

Buck preened, his mouth watering and spit trickling out of the corners of his mouth. He pulled off of Eddie’s cock with a wet pop, tracing over one of the veins with his tongue as he sucked in greedy lungfuls of air. He went back to business, bobbing his head and moaning around Eddie’s cock.

“Doing so well. Fuck. Such a good boy for me,” Eddie praised.

Buck loved sucking cock, but more than that, he loved doing this for Eddie. It wasn’t hard to get in the zone, his mind floating, only focusing on the weight of Eddie’s cock on his tongue and the sound of Eddie’s moans and bitten off curses.

“I’m close,” Eddie choked out after a few minutes, and Buck pulled off with a ragged breath.

Buck jerked him off, his lips tingling.

His voice was shot and hoarse when he said, “Mark me. Make me yours.”

“Oh, fuck,” Eddie groaned, tossing his head back onto the couch. His cock lurched in Buck’s grip right before he came, spitting out ropes of come all over Buck’s hand, chin, and cheek. Some even managed to make it onto his forehead.

“Jesus Christ,” Eddie panted. “Get up here, c’mere,” He croaked, sounding like he’d just run a marathon.

He grabbed Buck and all about forced him onto his lap.

“Do you have any idea how hot you look right now?” Eddie said, his voice wrecked as he thumbed at some of the come drying on Buck’s cheek.

“Probably as hot as you looked with my slick all over your face,” Buck responded brightly.

“Oh, so this was payback?” Eddie teased, still flushed and breathless.

“A little,” Buck conceded.

Eddie shook his head, and his lips upturned into a tender, lazy smile. “We should wipe this off,” He said, albeit reluctantly. He traced over Buck’s bottom lip, and Buck didn’t hesitate to suck his thumb into his mouth. “It’ll be gross by the time you’re hanging off my knot.”

Buck fluttered his eyes shut, moaning softly around Eddie’s thumb. He’d never get over how Eddie could say the filthiest shit so casually now. Before they got together, when Buck allowed himself to fantasize about Eddie in bed, he’d always assumed Eddie would be pretty quiet or reserved. Eddie’s confidence and willingness to match Buck’s scorching desires head-on was a welcome surprise.

“Fine,” Buck said petulantly when Eddie removed his thumb. “But we’re using your shirt this time.”

“It didn’t even stain your hoodie. I don’t know why you’re complaining,” Eddie huffed, though, his smile refusing to waver gave away that he didn’t mind in the slightest.

Buck slipped his hands under Eddie’s shirt, running them over Eddie’s toned stomach and the patch of hair that made up his happy trail.

“Off,” Buck said, yanking at the bottom hem of his t-shirt. “Gonna show me that eight-pack, honey?”

Eddie rolled his eyes. He grasped at the back of his collar, hauling his shirt up and over his head.

“I don’t even know why Bobby said that,” Eddie grumbled. “At no point have I ever asked anyone to call me that.” He started wiping off the come slowly growing tacky all over Buck’s face as Buck laughed.

It was a revelation of sorts, to spend so much time laughing and playfully going back and forth during sex. It was a level of comfort Buck hadn’t realized he was missing until it was a constant. Sex with Eddie wasn’t a carefully crafted fantasy; it was an extension of their relationship, and an act of love. Buck was thoroughly ruined for anyone else.

Not that he wanted anyone else.

Eddie was it for him. A part of him knew that when he clicked so effortlessly into Eddie and Christopher’s lives. He snapped into place like the role had been lying vacant just for him.

If the fact that they were fated was meant to be believed—maybe it had been.

Eddie loved him like it was second-nature; like it was easy; like they’d been born to be at each other’s backs, one step behind each other for eternity.

“Have you ever heard Aristophanes' theory about soulmates?” Buck blurted out. “From Plato’s Symposium?”

Eddie paused his movements, leveling Buck with a deadpan expression. “Oh, for sure,” he said dryly. “You know me, always reading Plato. Love that guy.”

“Don’t be a dick,” Buck said, pinching Eddie’s hip.

“No, I haven’t,” Eddie said, adjusting Buck in his lap. “Tell me what you’re thinking.”

“He said that originally humans had four legs, four arms, and two faces, but that Zeus was afraid it made them too powerful, so he cut them in half.” Buck basked in Eddie’s rapt attention, lining their bodies as close as they could be. “He theorized that the human condition was constantly searching for your other half you’d been separated from and that true love was finding them.” Buck shrugged, peering at Eddie through his lashes, now shy. “Sometimes I feel like that’s us.”

He watched Eddie take in his words.

“You think we make each other whole?” Eddie asked, his voice small and vulnerable.

“Yeah,” Buck said, matching Eddie’s hushed tone. “I do.”

Eddie tilted his head up in a jerky rush, pulling Buck in with a hand at the nape of his neck. Their lips brushed as he held himself back from taking the final plunge, leaving them to breathe in each other’s air.

“I love you,” Eddie breathed, allowing for Buck to feel the shape of those words against his lips.

Buck closed the gap, molding their lips together in a frantic kiss.

In a minute, Eddie’s fingers would work their way inside of him, prepping him for them to be joined in the most intimate of ways as they traded languid kisses, chasing each other’s mouths, unable to separate. Buck would bury his face into Eddie’s neck as Eddie’s cock sank inside him, his legs trembling while gravity pulled him down until Eddie was completely surrounding him.

All of that would happen in a minute, because for right now, they had all the time in the world.

Chapter Text

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“i’d marry you with paper rings.”

— “paper rings” / taylor swift

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TWENTY-THREE WEEKS

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“How long do you think we have before they notice we’re hiding out in here?” Buck asked with a sly smile as he sat on one of the chairs adjoining Maddie’s kitchen island.

“Probably not long, so we have to act fast,” Maddie said with a wink. She pulled out two jars of pickles from the fridge. “You’re lucky I love you and am willing to share my secret stash. What’s your poison? It’s been peanut butter for me, lately.”

“Intriguing,” Buck said with a sage nod, happily taking the jar of pickles offered to him. “You got any hot sauce? I want it on everything these days.”

“I think so. Let me check,” Maddie said, and sure enough, slid a bottle of Tabasco sauce over to him on the counter. It wasn’t Buck’s favorite, and wasn’t comparable to the array of hot sauces from the farmer’s market he and Eddie had stocked up on at their house, but, it would do.

“Thanks again for hosting this for us,” Buck said as he slathered a generous portion of hot sauce onto a pickle, and bit down with a satisfying crunch and moan. “I wish we had enough space.”

Maddie laughed. “It’s no big deal. It was kind of nice to have an excuse to get everyone together and show off the house.

Buck opened his mouth to reply, however, he was cut off by a very familiar voice making himself known.

“Oh, I see, this is where you two snuck off to,” Eddie said, stepping into the kitchen with a grin.

“We got hungry,” Buck said sheepishly. “How are Bobby and Chim doing with the grill?”

“I think Bobby’s missing his grilling partner,” Eddie said, sitting in the last open seat. “But it’ll be a cold day in hell when Bobby lets you anywhere near an open flame while pregnant.”

Buck rolled his eyes. “I could’ve managed a grill,” he said petulantly.

“Sure, baby,” Eddie said easily, in the way that Buck knew he was placating him. His hands found Buck’s hips and urged him to move from his seat to sit in his lap. He hooked his chin over Buck’s shoulder. “Whatcha eatin’?”

“Pickles and hot sauce,” Buck said delightedly. “Want some?”

“Yeah, that doesn’t sound too bad,” Eddie said with a shrug, and allowed Buck to feed him a bite. He chewed it thoughtfully. “Yeah, that’s pretty good.” Buck preened, taking a bite off the same pickle.

“Better than last night?” Buck goaded, just to see Eddie wrinkle his nose.

“Don’t remind me. I love you, baby, but that was gross.”

“It really wasn’t! It was better than you think!” Buck insisted.

“Oh, God,” Maddie said, and Buck had to blink, reminding himself she was still in the room. “Do I even want to know?”

“Your brother—” Eddie started, because he was a narc, while Buck squawked indignantly. “Was eating chocolate bars dipped in hot sauce.”

“They were Hershey chocolate bars, thank you very much, and—”

“Oh, I know, it has to be Hershey’s. No other chocolate tastes the same—”

“It’s the butyric acid, Eds! No other chocolate has butyric acid, which I’ve told you—”

“—a hundred times. I know.” Eddie said, huffing a laugh into Buck’s shoulder. “Anyways, once you’re done with your snack,” Eddie said meaningfully, before pressing a fleeting kiss by Buck’s ear, “Chris was looking for you. He’s having a time with that disposable camera you got him.”

“Really?” Buck said excitedly. “Well, let’s go,” He shoved the last of the pickle he was holding into his mouth with haste.

He hopped off of Eddie’s lap, while Eddie steadied him by placing his hands over his hips. He hadn’t yet gotten used to his bump dislodging his center of gravity.

“Careful, baby,” Eddie murmured, patting over his sides worriedly before he tangled their fingers together and led them in the direction of the living room.

Christopher was on the couch, showing off his camera to Denny, as Abuela and Pepa chatted with Athena in the corner.

Buck turned to say something to Eddie, but the Alpha’s eyes peeled away from his ass too slowly, giving him away.

Buck grinned, entirely too pleased with himself. “See something you like?” He teased.

Eddie's arms wrapped around his waist, his hands coming to rest over his bump. He whispered quietly in his ear, so only Buck could hear. “I like your ass in these jeans, cosita.”

“I think you just like my ass,” Buck whispered back.

Maybe Maddie had been right with her point about him owning at least one pair of maternity jeans. He was grateful to have something other than sweatpants to wear for their family get-together.

“I like my wife’s ass, is that a crime?” Eddie murmured, his breath hot in Buck’s ear.

“It will be a crime if you make me wet at family dinner,” Buck said warningly.

Eddie snickered into the side of his neck. “Sorry, baby,” he said, sounding, in Buck’s opinion, not sorry in the slightest.

“Ugh,” Christopher piped up from the couch. “Dad and Buck are being gross again.”

“He started it,” they said at the same time, and Buck gasped, looking at Eddie with mock offense.

“Ay, Eddito, when you’re done playing chico amante, can you bring over Evancito? I wanted to talk to him about the nursery,” Abuela called over, with a particular gleam in her eyes.

“Go help Bobby and Chim with the grill. I think they’re going to need it,” Buck advised, pecking him on the lips before detangling himself from Eddie’s embrace.

“Alright,” Eddie relented, stealing one last peck before he went out to the back deck.

“What does chico amante mean?” Buck asked deviously once Eddie was out of earshot and Abuela and Pepa had begun fussing over him.

“Lover boy,” Pepa told him conspiratorially, and Buck felt himself turning as pink as the cardigan he was wearing.

“Wait, Buck!” Christopher yelled, leaning across the back of the couch. “Let me get a picture of you with Abuela and Tia Pepa!”

“Well, you heard him!” Abuela said with a laugh.

The flash of Christopher’s disposable camera went off as Abuela and Pepa flanked both of his sides, each placing a kiss on his cheek.

It was in moments like these that Buck fizzled with warmth. It spilled out of his chest, overflowing and glimmering.

Somehow, someway, he’d stumbled upon a family.

Building a life like this for himself had seemed like something out of his wildest dreams as he laid awake at night in his frigid, lonely bedroom in Hershey.

He had thought maybe, if he was really lucky, he’d get married one day to someone who tolerated him enough to not leave him, and that he’d have a few kids as a way of earning love.

He’d never allowed himself to hope that he’d be ushered into a family like the one he’d found in the 118 and the Diazes.

The night carried on with similar showerings of love.

Eddie had insisted that Buck stay parked in his seat while he made him a plate, and Christopher showed him videos on his phone he’d saved that he knew would make Buck laugh.

The sun had set by the time Buck was graciously allowed to get up and walk around. He was in the middle of a conversation with Bobby and Athena when Christopher appeared at his side and tugged at his sleeve.

“Can you do me a favor?” Christopher asked, shifting back and forth on his crutches.

“Sure, kiddo, what’s up?” Buck said without hesitation.

“Follow me,” Christopher said cryptically, yanking on his sleeve.

Buck followed him dutifully until they were in the center of the backyard.

“What are we waiting for?” Buck asked with a small laugh.

“Just. Wait a second,” Christopher said, keeping Buck’s attention. After about a full minute he smiled. “Okay, you can turn around now.”

“Okay,” Buck said. “I don’t know why I had to—”

His words died in his throat when spun around and saw that Eddie was behind him, down on one knee.

“Hey,” Eddie said, giving Buck one of his dashing smiles that showcased the points of his fang teeth. “I’ve never really done this before, so will you let me figure it out?”

Buck nodded dumbly.

Eddie took in a shaky breath.

“After Shannon died, I’m pretty sure I told everyone that I never wanted to get married again. And I didn’t. Not for a while. I think a part of me saw marriage as something that was scary.” Eddie paused and Buck waited with bated breath for what he was going to say next. “But, Buck, baby, nothing is scary with you.” Eddie frowned briefly. “Well, except for when you die on me and I have to wait through three minutes and seventeen seconds of hell for you to come back to me.”

“Eds—” Buck croaked.

Eddie shook his head. “But that’s not— that’s not the point. The point is that I spent a really long time thinking I could never be a good husband to anyone. But you make me want to try. You make me want to work every day to be a good husband for you. You’re it for me, and I don’t want to waste any more time with things being undefined. I want to marry you. I want you to adopt Chris. I want our names next to each other on the girls’ birth certificates, and I want our names next to each other on the lease to our house. I want to be legally bound to you in every way I can be, because life isn’t scary with you, it’s happy and good, and probably better than I deserve, but I want it anyway.”

“Dad,” Christopher hissed. “The ring.”

“Right,” Eddie said sheepishly, and Buck choked on a watery laugh as Eddie dug in his pocket until he brandished a small, dark ring box.

“You gotta ask the question so I can say yes,” Buck reminded him gently, his heart thudding wildly behind his ribcage.

“Will you marry me?” Eddie asked, his lips upturning into a nervous half smile, as if there was any universe where Buck’s answer would be anything other than a resounding ‘yes.’

“Yes!” Buck all about shouted.

“Yeah?” Eddie breathed, his eyes shining.

“Yes,” Buck said again, grabbing Eddie by his hands so he could pull him up into a kiss. He pressed short, frantic kisses one after the other against his lips. “Yes, yes, yes,” he said over and over again until Eddie was laughing into his mouth.

“Let me get the ring on you, baby,” Eddie said, and Buck peeled himself away just long enough for Eddie to slip the ring onto his finger. He immediately flung his arms around Eddie’s neck, melting in his arms.

It was then that Buck realized the rest of their family was cheering in the backyard, all of their faces the picture of delight and mirth.

“Hold on!” Christopher yelled over the fray. “I want a picture!”

Buck reluctantly slipped out of Eddie’s arms—but Eddie didn’t let him get far. He slung his arm around Buck’s waist as Buck smiled towards Christopher and his camera.

The minute the picture was taken, Buck corralled Christopher into a group hug, enjoying this moment of their family.

Buck was finally somewhere he belonged.

—

Later, once the party was over and Eddie had successfully coaxed Buck and Christopher—who had been happily passed out on Maddie and Chim’s couch—into his truck, the rest of the evening found the two in bed, after Chris had slumped off to his room the minute they’d gotten home.

“I’m gonna be your wife,” Buck muttered into Eddie’s neck, his body curled up into the Alpha’s side. His voice was awed with wonder, unable to hide the unbridled joy at his declaration.

“Yeah, you are,” Eddie said, equally as gleeful.

He was tracing a familiar pattern along Buck’s bump, one that Buck hadn’t parsed out yet.

Buck twisted off his ring to admire it in the glow of their bedroom. It was silver, with a small sapphire at its center. In the midst of his inspection, Buck discovered there was an inscription on the inside.

Always on the other end of your rope. — E

It was a lengthy inscription, one that occupied the entire interior of the ring.

Buck’s breath caught in the back of his throat, and tears flooded his lash line.

“What’s wrong?” Eddie asked softly, thumbing at Buck’s tears as they escaped.

“Nothing,” Buck said, his voice cracking. “I just. Really love you.”

“I love you, too, baby,” Eddie said, and Buck knew, not for the first time, that he meant it.

Buck slid the ring back onto his finger. He didn’t want to part with it, not even for a second. He’d only had it for a few hours, and it had already become one of his most treasured possessions. Replacing it at work with a plan rubber black band was going to be agony.

Buck nestled impossibly closer to Eddie, breathing in his scent.

“You’re gonna be a really good husband,” he said, not only because it was true, but because he knew it was something Eddie needed to hear.

“Flattery will get you everywhere,” Eddie said with a smirk, which Buck knew from experience was covering up his nervousness.

“Not flattery,” Buck said, nosing at his scent gland. “You’re gonna be a really good husband and a really good dad because you already are.”

Eddie kissed his temple. “It’s easier when it’s with you.”

“I’ll still have your back even when it’s not easy,” Buck said, then yawned sleepily, snuggling further into Eddie’s side. He never felt safer than when they were pressed together like this, bodies molded together like puzzle pieces.

“I know, baby,” Eddie said, lacing their fingers together. “I know.”

────────────────────────────────────

TWENTY-FOUR WEEKS

────────────────────────────────────

“And you’re sure we have all the right paperwork together?” Buck asked anxiously, thumbing through the pages in his lap for what felt like the millionth time.

“We triple checked it all last night,” Eddie said, not taking his eyes off the road.

“I just don’t want to forget anything,” Buck grumbled, as he made sure he had Christopher’s birth certificate, his social security card, the formal adoption filing form, Shannon’s death certificate, his own birth certificate, his own social security card, and the letter of consent that Eddie had meticulously typed up while Buck had hovered over his shoulder.

“We didn’t forget anything,” Eddie said steadily, turning down the street that housed the parking garage next to the courthouse. “And even if we did, I don’t think the courthouse is going anywhere.”

“I think it’s kind of funny that you have to do all this work to adopt me when you can just scribble a couple things down on a piece of paper and they’ll give you the girls like it’s nothing,” Christopher piped up from the backseat.

Buck blinked. “They’re coming out of my body, I would hope it wouldn’t be more work.”

“He does have a point,” Eddie said, easing his truck into the parking garage entrance. “We were so frazzled after his birth I’m surprised I was able to spell ‘Christopher’ right.”

“Could you imagine if it’s been spelled wrong this entire time and we were only now realizing,” Christopher said, sounding entirely too delighted at the notion.

Buck hummed, flipping through his stack of paperwork until he pulled out Christopher’s birth certificate. “Nope,” he said, popping the ‘p.’ “It’s spelled exactly as we’ve always spelled it. Unless you have any objections you would like to address?”

“What if I wanted to spell it with an ‘f’?” Christopher snarked.

Buck opened his mouth to retort, but Eddie cut him off. “Absolutely not.”

“Well, you’re no fun,” Christopher said, and Buck didn’t need to look in the rear view mirror to see his patented eye roll.

“What about no ‘h’ and an ‘f’?” Buck goaded and grinned at Eddie’s huff.

“I like the way you think,” Christopher said solemnly.

“We’re here for an adoption, not a name change,” Eddie said testily.

Buck matched Christopher’s solemn tone. “We would support you wholeheartedly if you wanted to change your name, bud.”

“Thank you.” Christopher chirped. “I feel heard.”

“We’ll revisit this when I have to change my name. I’ll be intimately familiar with the paperwork in a few months,” Buck said offhandedly.

Eddie cleared his throat, parking the truck in an open space. “So you are going to be changing your name, then?”

“I mean… yeah,” Buck said slowly. “We are getting married. So.”

“We haven’t talked about it,” Eddie said, his cheeks reddening. “You know, outside of…” he trailed off, averting his gaze.

Buck knew what he meant. Outside of Buck referring to himself as “Mrs. Diaz” with Eddie’s knot inside of him. A topic they certainly wouldn’t be discussing with Chris in the car.

“I just didn’t know if you actually wanted to change your name. We could hyphenate if that’s something you wanted,” Eddie offered.

In all honesty, Buck hadn’t ever considered hyphenating. He didn’t have any particular attachments to the “Buckley” name, and if anything, it only served as a further reminder of his parents.

Buck shrugged. “Maddie’s not even a ‘Buckley’ anymore, so I don’t see a point. You’re a ‘Diaz,’ Chris is a ‘Diaz,’ and the girls are gonna be ‘Diazes.’ I don’t like the idea of having a different last name than any of you.” He could feel his own cheeks reddening. “I like the thought of being a ‘Diaz’ on paper. I might even change my name legally to Buck while I’m doing the paperwork.”

“You want to get rid of ‘Evan’?” Eddie asked, seemingly taken aback.

“It’s not really my name anymore,” Buck said, shrugging again. “I’ll probably make it my middle name since I don’t have one of those.”

Eddie frowned. “I hate when you remind me of that.”

“Wait,” Christopher said, sounding horrified. “Buck. You don’t have a middle name? Doesn’t everyone have to have a middle name?”

“Evidently not in Pennsylvania in the ‘90s,” Buck said wryly. “We’re lucky my parents gave me a name at all.”

“No offense, but I kind of hate your parents,” Christopher said, with all the fury his gangly teenage body could muster.

“Join the club,” Eddie muttered under his breath.

“Which is why you will never meet them. Not if I can help it,” Buck said, lathering his voice with faux cheer. “Now, are we going to sit here all day, or are we going to get this show on the road?”

“Let’s bounce,” Christopher said decisively, opening the back door with a forceful click, causing Buck to laugh.

Eddie helped Christopher out of the car—which mainly consisted of him standing nearby supportively while Chris waved him off. Buck went to get out of the car, but Eddie halted him with a tsk. “Uh uh, you stay where you are.”

Once Chris was fully out and situated with his crutches, Eddie sidled over to the passenger side of his truck, opening the door for Buck.

“I can get out of a car by myself, you know,” Buck said, though he still sat all the paperwork on the dashboard and held out his hands for Eddie to grasp.

“Humor me,” Eddie said dryly.

Buck grinned, easy and warm. “It’s all I do.”

He helped Buck out of the car, using both hands around Buck’s hips to lift him up and out. Buck would never admit it willingly, but he did appreciate Eddie’s assistance, with his bump getting bigger and more cumbersome each day.

“Precious cargo,” Eddie mused, pecking Buck on the lips before reaching into the truck to collect all the paperwork Buck had put aside.

“One more,” Buck pouted, resting a hand idly over his bump. “You have to give me one for each. Those are the rules.”

“Right,” Eddie said, tapping his forehead in the universal gesture of ‘how could I forget.’ He kissed Buck again, smiling into the kiss. “Happy now?”

“For now,” Buck said ominously, latching onto Eddie’s free hand to tangle their fingers together.

“Are you guys done being lame?” Christopher said from a few feet away from the truck, his eyes glued to his phone.

“Oh, you haven’t even seen lame,” Buck replied, making Eddie snort from beside him.

“Ugh, I take everything back. You’re not allowed to adopt me anymore,” Christopher said, despite his lips twitching conveying he was fighting the urge to smile.

“Too late!” Buck said, tugging Eddie along behind him.

They made their way through the parking garage, taking the elevator down to the first floor to cross the street to get to the courthouse.

Getting through security was a headache and a half with the combination of Christopher’s crutches, and the metal in Buck’s leg, which seemed to confound both security guards.

Eventually, they were passed along after an annoying amount of scrutiny and pointed in the direction of the county clerk’s desk where they could file their paperwork.

Buck greeted the clerk with what he hoped was a charming smile, the paperwork clutched to his chest.

“Hi, we’re here to file step-child adoption paperwork?” He said as Eddie stood behind him, his hands finding his hips.

The clerk nodded, eyeing him, Eddie, and then Christopher. “I assume you have all the paperwork with you?”

Buck nodded enthusiastically. The clerk disappeared for a moment, then returned with a checklist and pulled a pen from the cup to her left. She pointed the pen at Eddie. “Alright, I’ll just need him to sign in a few places once I make sure you have all the right stuff.” She smiled in Christopher’s direction, returning her gaze to Buck. “That’s so cute. He looks just like you. I did all the work carrying my daughter for nine months and she came out looking nothing like me.”

Buck’s smile froze on his face, and he felt Eddie stiffen behind him. Christopher was the one to break the responding silence by cackling loudly.

“Oh, I’m not—” Buck stumbled over his words. “He’s his—” he gestured vaguely to Eddie. “I’m the one adopting him.”

“I’m his dad,” Eddie said, sounding slightly offended while Christopher continued to laugh like this was the funniest thing he’d ever seen.

“Oh!” The clerk exclaimed, realizing her mistake. “Sorry, I just,” she looked between Christopher and Buck. “He really does look just like you.”

“I— thank you,” Buck said for lack of anything else. He slid the papers he was holding, as well as his ID, across the desk under the opening in the window. “Umm, here’s all the paperwork. You said I needed to sign in a few places?”

“Right,” the clerk said, and now it was her turn to nod awkwardly. She glanced at the paperwork, writing a few things down. She handed over a paper that Buck had initialed and signed everywhere she marked with an ‘x.’

She cleared his throat primly.

“I’ll file this official petition. Once it has gone through the proper channels and you have passed the mandated background check, you should receive your official guardianship certificate in the mail. Once you receive that, there’s nothing else you have to do. There shouldn’t be any issues, but someone will reach out if there are any discrepancies in the paperwork.”

“Got it,” Buck said politely, collecting the paperwork back that she handed over. “Do you need anything else from us?”

“Nope. That was all,” She said, then tacked on, “Sorry about the misunderstanding.”

“It’s fine, really,” Buck said, with what he hoped was a comforting smile.

To Christopher’s credit, he waited until they were out of earshot of the clerk to loudly exclaim, “Oh my God, she thought Buck was my Mom.”

“Christopher—” Eddie hissed warningly through gritted teeth.

“Are you even my real dad?” Christopher wondered out loud. “I mean, we don’t look anything alike.”

“That’s not funny,” Eddie snapped.

Buck bit his lip to hide his smile. “It was a little funny,” he conceded. Eddie whipped around to stare at him, looking utterly betrayed.

“Maybe Buck really is my Mom,” Christopher said, clearly wanting to keep the bit going.

“I think I would remember if I gave birth to you,” Buck said, even though he was kind of enjoying how irritated Eddie was beginning to get.

Christopher shot him a coy look, obviously wanting Buck to join in on his fun.

“Although, nineteen was kind of a blur for me. So, who knows,” Buck said, making Chris snort.

“You two just think you’re so funny,” Eddie grumbled.

“What can I say, Eds, he gets it from his mother,” Buck said teasingly.

“My whole life has been a lie,” Christopher said dramatically. “Who knew I was a ‘Buckley’ and not a ‘Diaz?’”

“Alright,” Eddie said as they returned to the parking garage. “Enough out of you two.”

“I think he’s only upset because he knows we’re right,” Buck whispered to Christopher, purposely loud enough that Eddie could hear.

“Aunt Maddie will have to help me redo my family tree,” Christopher said gleefully.

When they arrived at Eddie’s truck, Buck reeled Eddie into a kiss while Christopher climbed into the back seat.

“We’re just messing with you,” Buck mumbled into his mouth. “I love you.”

“I know,” Eddie said, rolling his eyes, in a way that was so Christopher-like Buck couldn’t fathom his parentage ever being in question. He pressed his hand fleetingly over Buck’s bump, providing him with one more kiss. “Love you, too.”

Buck couldn’t wipe the besotted grin off his face as Eddie helped him into the truck, if he tried.

He twisted the ring on his finger, laying a hand over his bump.

It was hard to imagine that only a few months ago, he had thought he was on the verge of losing Eddie and Chris forever. Now, he had a permanent, legal place in their lives.

He shared a secretive smile with Chris from his view of him in the review mirror, his heart pumping pure love through his veins.

—

“Uh, Buck,” Chimney said, snapping his gum. “You do know headphones go on your ears, right?”

Buck made an unimpressed noise. “It’s not for me.”

He was currently lounging on the station sofa. Luckily for him, he’d gotten most of his paperwork and gear replacement forms finished in the early hours of his shift, so he was free to mainly lounge around with the rest of the crew as they waited on another call. He was enjoying his new purchase, queuing up a playlist on his phone.

“We learned at the ultrasound the other day that the girls can hear stuff outside the womb now,” Eddie explained from where he was in the kitchen. Bobby was teaching him how to properly slice vegetables. If the way Bobby’s eyebrow was twitching, it wasn’t going particularly well.

“So I have taken it upon myself to start giving them a music education,” Buck finished. “So far, they kick like crazy whenever I put on Selena.”

“That’s my girls,” Eddie said with pride. “They have good taste.”

Buck adjusted the special headphones around his bump with a wince as one of the girls decided to go to town on his kidney. “They’ve been getting kind of violent with disco. I might have to pass.”

Chimney pulled out his phone. “Well now I have to make you a playlist. I don’t trust your music taste.”

“We’re working our way through the ‘80s right now. Selena was a special treat,” Buck explained.

“Oh, I can do ‘80s,” Chimney mumbled, his attention now firmly on his phone. “I’ll get Maddie to cover the ‘90s. I hope the girls are ready for a lot of Backstreet Boys.”

“God, Eddie, get over here. They’re going nuts right now,” Buck called out to him. Bobby shot him a grateful look at him offering Eddie a distraction. “The doctor also said someone other than me should be able to feel them kick any day now,” Buck supplied.

Eddie sighed, abandoning his spot in the kitchen to come over to the couch. Buck knew it was waning on Eddie a bit that he hadn’t yet felt the girls kick, but Buck wasn’t going to stop trying.

“What are they listening to now?” Eddie prompted, sitting on the couch in the space by Buck’s feet.

“Sweet dreams,” Buck told him. “They’re loving it.”

Eddie laughed. “It’s a good song.”

Buck inched up his uniform shirt. His bump had officially gotten too big to deal with their button down formals, and Bobby had given him permission to now wear his LAFD t-shirts as his permanent uniform. He hadn’t told Eddie yet, but he’d placed an order that morning for new turnouts that said “Diaz” for when he returned to duty after the girls were born.

Eddie placed his hands over Buck’s bump, and Buck melted into his touch. He braced himself, waiting for another round of kicks.

Sure enough, the girls made their presence known, except this time when they kicked, Eddie flinched back, his eyes widening nearly to a comical degree.

“Wait,” Eddie said, returning his hands to Buck’s stomach. “I felt that!”

“Oh my God, really?” Buck exclaimed, throwing his own hands on top of Eddie’s.

“Yeah, it’s like a little,” He moved his hand a bit further down and the kicking followed him, making his face break out into the brightest grin Buck was sure he’d ever seen. “Tap!” He held his hand where it was and Buck felt one of the girls rhythmically kick right under where Eddie’s hand was. “Wow,” he murmured, transfixed, “they really are going crazy in there.”

“They’re having a dance party,” Buck said, positive that the smile on his face was dopey and lovesick.

“I can’t believe I can…” Eddie trailed off, awed and reverent. He ran his hands up and down Buck’s bump, and the girls followed everywhere he went. “I can feel them.”

Buck melted at how entranced Eddie was, leaning into his touch.

“Guess they finally wanted to say hi,” Buck whispered, absolutely enamored.

The call alarm blared suddenly, and Buck flinched, jolted back to the present where they were at work.

Chimney came up behind Eddie and clapped him on the shoulder. He had the decency to at least appear sympathetic. “C’mon. Duty calls.”

Eddie blinked up at Buck, looking completely devastated.

“We’ll be here when you get back,” Buck soothed, easing Eddie’s hands off his bump with great reluctance. “We’re not going anywhere.”

“You heard him, Eddie,” Bobby said from the top of the stairs. “They’ll be here when we get back.”

“Go,” Buck said, pushing Eddie’s shoulder, even though all of his instincts were screaming at him to latch on—to keep his Alpha’s hands on his stomach and in his sightline, where he belonged. Buck swallowed. “Be safe.”

Eddie swooped down to peck a kiss on the corner of Buck’s mouth. “I will.” His eyes tracked over Buck’s face, like he was trying to commit it to memory. “I love you.”

“Love you more,” Buck replied without even having to think about it.

Eddie’s lips quirked up. “Not possible.”

“Oh my God, c’mon, Diaz. No PDA at work,” Ravi grumbled, the last of the stragglers, clearly sent to drag Eddie kicking and screaming into the truck.

Eddie rolled his eyes. “Alright, I’m coming.” He pointed his finger at Buck. “Don’t move. You’re supposed to be resting.”

Buck gave him his best guileless smile, which he knew Eddie didn’t believe for a second.

Eddie squared his shoulders and headed for the stairs.

Buck snagged Ravi’s wrist as he turned to chase his heels. “Keep him safe,” Buck said, careful to keep his voice low. “Watch his back because I can’t.”

There must have been something in his voice that gave away how scared and vulnerable he was, because for once, Ravi didn’t quip anything in return.

He nodded seriously. “I got him, Buck.”

Buck breathed through the ache in his chest.

“Thank you.”

—

To Buck’s credit, he did lounge around on the couch for a while.

He FaceTimed with Chris when it reached the time that he should be home from school, and he badgered him into getting started on his homework. He snacked on a few, frankly diabolical creations, while swimming in the luxury of no one from A-shift being around to judge him.

Eventually, he found his way to his office to finish up all of his meager assignments for the day. He kept his ear out on the radio, listening as the 118 went straight from a six-car pile-up, the call they’d initially responded to, to another medical call that appeared to be eating up a good chunk of their time.

Buck was debating calling Chris again, purely to entertain him, when he heard the door to his office open.

He saw Eddie, and like magic, the uneasiness in his gut that had permeated the entire time Eddie had been gone, washed away.

“Sorry, I know you told me not to move, but you guys were gone a while and I got bored and—” Buck rattled off. The words died in his throat when he turned in his desk chair and took in Eddie.

He was standing stock still in the doorway, his expression hollow, and his eyes vacant.

“Eds?” Buck hedged tentatively. He went to get up from his chair, with considerable effort, and that seemed to break Eddie out of his stupor.

Within a few steps, he reached Buck and kneeled down in front of him.

Buck lifted up his shirt to show off his bump.

“You didn’t miss much. I think all the excitement earlier tuckered them out,” Buck said, in a slapdash attempt to comfort him.

He realized belatedly that Eddie’s hands were shaking as they came up to cradle his bump.

“Hey,” Buck whispered, running his fingers through Eddie’s hair. “I can always put Selena on if you need me to wake ‘em up.”

Eddie shook his head shortly, leaning forward further to press his face into the center of Buck’s stomach, his lips against the taut skin. He sucked in a breath that rattled in his lungs.

Buck continued to play with his hair, his worry only growing.

“We’re okay, honey,” Buck murmured, not sure what Eddie needed to hear.

Eddie’s hands remained firm on his bump, and Buck let him take in his fill.

When he brushed a loose strand away from Eddie’s face, he noticed a smudge of blood high up on his jaw, near his ear. He made a small sound, one that came from the back of his throat, raking in the rest of Eddie’s form with critical eyes.

There was another tiny smear of blood on Eddie’s forearm.

“You should probably go shower,” Buck said, breaking the silence, but keeping his voice soft.

Eddie peeled his face away from Buck’s bump. Buck only saw then that his eyes were red and wet.

Buck smoothed his thumb over Eddie’s jaw, his heart breaking. “Oh, honey.”

“Not— I don’t— … with you?” Eddie said, his words disjointed and voice raw.

Buck held in his usual snarky comment about the potential of them getting fired. It was clear Eddie needed him right now. Even if it would get them scolded, Buck didn’t really care.

“Let’s get you cleaned up,” Buck said, still soft.

Eddie, ever so carefully, pulled his shirt down to cover his bump. He stood up, and clasped both of Buck’s hands in his to ease him out of his desk chair. Buck kept one of his hands laced with Eddie’s as he turned off his computer and put away the few papers scattered on his desk.

He led Eddie out of his office and over to the locker room to get clothes for them to change into.

He never let go of his hand.

The showers were blessedly empty when they entered, and as soon as Buck sat on one of the benches, Eddie kneeled, without a word, to start unlacing his boots for him. He could still technically maneuver himself around his bump to get shoes on and off, but it had grown exceedingly difficult lately. Eddie, as of late, seemed to take great pleasure in assisting him in with his shoes, whether it was helping him take them off for the night, or lacing them up in the morning for him, before their shifts.

It was just another way that Eddie always took care of him.

His hands skated over one of the surgery scars by Buck’s ankle after he took both of his socks off.

Buck slid his foot out of his hold, pawing at the bottom hem of his shirt.

“Your turn,” Buck told him, patting the empty spot on the bench next to him. “Strip.”

Eddie huffed out a breath, a pale imitation of a laugh that had Buck’s heart squeezing and aching. He listened to Buck’s orders anyway, unlacing and yanking off his boots with far less care and finesse than he’d just exhibited with Buck’s.

Once his shirt was off, Buck ripped off the scent patch on his neck and on each of his wrists. He shimmied out of his work pants, then turned the water on in the farthest stall, hidden in the corner, so that it would heat up.

He kicked off his boxers and stepped under the spray, waiting for Eddie to join him.

He didn’t have to wait long.

Eddie came up behind him within a minute, his arms snaking around his waist to cradle his bump with both hands. He buried his face into Buck’s neck, taking in a deep breath that expanded his chest against Buck’s back.

He didn’t do anything for a while. He just let Eddie hold him.

Eddie’s finger began to trace a familiar pattern over his bump. Buck focused on it, doing his best to figure out what it was that Eddie always drew into his skin. It was the same pattern he traced against his stomach after the first time they had sex, even before he was pregnant.

After a few passes, Buck realized what it was.

He held back the sob that clawed its way into the back of his throat, his eyes burning.

I love you.

Eddie had been writing ‘I love you’ into his skin this entire time.

Buck put his hand over Eddie’s, halting him.

He picked up his left hand and brought it to his mouth so he could kiss his knuckles.

His bleeding heart of an Alpha—that he was so hopelessly in love with.

Buck turned in his embrace. Eddie could keep his secret for now—Buck didn’t want to call him out or spook him. However, he couldn’t go another minute without letting Eddie know how much he loved him.

“I love you,” Buck said, gliding Eddie’s wet hair out of his face.

Eddie crowded him up against the shower wall, his voice hoarse. “I love you. So much.”

Buck brought their mouths together into a tender kiss. It wasn’t his intention to initiate anything. All he wanted was to express how much he loved Eddie, and Eddie seemed to get the memo, returning Buck’s kiss languidly.

They broke away after a few moments, and Eddie pressed their foreheads together.

Buck waited him out.

He would always wait him out. He’d wait all night and succumb to pruny skin from being in the shower too long, if that’s what Eddie needed.

But like usual, he didn’t have to wait long.

Eddie came to him at his most vulnerable, and it was something Buck would treasure endlessly. Eddie trusted him enough to show him his soft underbelly, one he didn’t even show Chris if he could help it. Yet, he revealed it to Buck.

“The second call,” Eddie said, barely above a whisper. He clenched and unclenched his jaw while Buck watched him. “It was awful.”

“What happened?” Buck asked, matching his whisper.

“There was an Omega, and she was—” Eddie squeezed his eyes shut tight, his mouth screwing up. “She was having a miscarriage.”

Buck felt his words like a punch in the gut. He kept himself neutral, though, not wanting to react.

He waited for more.

“It had been going on for a while. She was in the bathroom, and there was— God, baby, there was so much blood. And she put off calling, because she was so scared, you know? We tried, but we couldn’t…” Eddie sniffed, moving his forehead to rest on Buck’s shoulder. “We lost her in the ambulance.”

“Oh, Eds,” Buck said, his voice trembling. He couldn’t imagine what that must have been like for Eddie, seeing that while Buck was pregnant.

How lucky they’d been not to lose the girls despite all the stress and various circumstances he’d been in didn’t escape him.

“When we got back, I just had to see you, to make sure you were… I thought maybe you went home because your shift ended a while ago, which would’ve been fine. It would mean you were home safe with Chris, even if I couldn’t see you.”

“I didn’t want to go home until I knew you made it back alright,” Buck told him, wrapping his hand around the nape of Eddie’s neck.

“I saw your Jeep in the parking lot, so I knew you were still here. And I didn’t expect— I knew we’d been gone for hours, I knew you probably wouldn’t still be on the couch. But when we got back and the loft was empty, for a second—” Eddie cut himself off, and Buck could feel the full body shudder that wracked through him.

“I was the one bleeding out,” Buck finished for him, knowing intrinsically where Eddie’s mind had gone.

“Yeah,” Eddie breathed. “I checked the bathrooms just in case, because I can’t.” Eddie’s breaths were getting shallower. “If anything ever happened to you I wouldn’t survive it.”

“Baby—”

“No,” Eddie shook his head. “When you got struck by lightning—when you died—I was right there, and I couldn’t do anything. It was the worst day of my fucking life. When you were in your coma I couldn’t even look at you. How fucked up is that? Everyone else was able to go in and visit you. Christ, Bobby and Maddie hardly ever left your room. But I couldn’t. When I brought Chris in to visit you I thought I was going to be sick. And that was before. That was before I got to have you and love you, and know what you look like pregnant with my kids, sleeping in my bed, your stuff all over my house. I can’t. Buck, I can’t lose you.”

“Eddie, honey, breathe,” Buck instructed, guiding Eddie’s face into his neck so he could breathe in his scent.

Eddie gulped in a few ragged breaths of air as Buck ran his hands up and down his back.

“You’re not gonna lose me,” Buck said fiercely. “Not if I can help it. I’m okay. The girls are okay. We’re all okay.”

It took a few minutes, but eventually Eddie’s breaths evened out.

“And it’s about as fucked up as me avoiding the hospital to take care of Chris after you got shot. I don’t know if you noticed, but I didn’t come to see you until I knew you were awake. I couldn’t even be in the building while you were unconscious, so I think you have me beat,” Buck carried on, wondering how long Eddie had been lashing himself for not visiting him while Buck had been in his coma.

Eddie made a small noise against his throat.

Then—

“You never let me win.”

Buck squeezed his hands around Eddie’s back. If he was willing to joke, it meant Buck must have gotten through to him, at least a little.

“Sorry, you’re marrying a sore loser,” Buck said, letting a hint of a smile creep into his voice.

He gave Eddie another full minute to settle, and some of the tension slid off his shoulders.

“As much as I love being wet and naked with you, Eds, are we going to shower any time soon? I’m getting a little cold.”

Eddie pulled himself out of Buck’s neck, his eyes soft and pleading.

“Can I take care of you? Please?”

“Of course, Eds,” Buck said, because it wasn’t even a thought. Not really. He’d never turn down the option to have Eddie take care of him, as long as he could take care of Eddie, too.

—

Later, once they had cleaned each other off, and gotten out of the shower—Eddie taking his job very seriously and insisting on toweling Buck off himself—and they’d changed into the clothes to go home, Buck caught Eddie by the wrist.

He laced their fingers together and pitched his voice to be as gentle as he could possibly manage. “I think maybe you should start seeing Frank again.”

Eddie averted his gaze.

“It would make me feel better to know you’re talking to someone. What we’re doing, with the girls, it’s big and scary. And it’s good, it’s really good. It’s happy and amazing, but also scary, and I just don’t want you to be bottling anything up that this might be bringing up for you.” Buck said, voicing what had been on his mind ever since Eddie had shown up in the doorway of his office, his eyes far away.

Eddie pressed his lips together. He finally met Buck’s eyes, looking pained. “It’s… I don’t think I know how to be happy,” he admitted quietly.

Buck rubbed his thumb over the inside of Eddie’s wrist, his brows furrowing. “What do you mean?”

“I’m the happiest I’ve ever been, and I don’t know how to feel like I deserve it. I think I’m afraid because I’ve been afraid my whole life. I know how to be afraid. I don’t know how to be happy.” Eddie sighed heavily after his confession. “I guess that’s what I should talk about with Frank.”

“Yeah,” Buck agreed. All he wanted was to be able to fix everything that ever ailed Eddie. This, though, he didn’t know how to fix. “But I’m glad you told me.”

—

Buck hadn’t planned on pressing the issue any further, at least, not that night.

But, when they were getting ready for bed, Eddie said quietly, his face burrowed into Buck’s neck, his hand over his bump, “I’ll make an appointment with Frank.”

“Thank you,” Buck said, kissing his forehead. “I’m proud of you.”

────────────────────────────────────

TWENTY-FIVE WEEKS

────────────────────────────────────

On their days off, Buck and Eddie had worked out a system.

Buck would get started on breakfast as soon as he was awake, and Eddie reluctantly let him out of his embrace.

While Buck busied himself in the kitchen, Eddie would wake up Chris and double-check that he was getting dressed and not falling back asleep as soon as Eddie left his room.

Eddie would then put in their first load of laundry into the washing machine. By the time he was done, Buck had usually finished up breakfast. Once they ate, Buck would go over all of Chris’s homework with him, making sure he had everything, and would pack his lunch, while Eddie switched the laundry load into the dryer.

Then, Eddie would take Chris to school, always kissing Buck on his way out the door.

Buck would put another load in the washing machine as soon as they were gone, and during his wait for the load in the dryer to complete, he’d jot down a meticulous grocery list.

He would fold all the clothes once the dryer had finished its cycle, and after that task was complete, Eddie would be back to switch over the final load.

Then they would be off to the grocery store.

It was a good system.

Buck liked their system.

He was also somewhat of a tyrant when it came to their grocery shopping trips.

He made Eddie push the cart so that he would feel useful, and it also carried the benefit of keeping him from getting distracted. Buck saw their grocery trips as a well-oiled machine.

“Okay,” Buck said, after they had made it most of the way through his list. “Time to split up. You do the deli, because if I smell any ham right now, I’m going to hurl. I’ll do the bakery to get those muffins Chris likes.”

Eddie nodded, taking his mission instructions very seriously. “Oh, can you also get—”

“The fresh garlic bread is already on my list,” Buck said, cutting him off. “What do you take me for?”

“I’m sorry for doubting you,” Eddie said solemnly, and kissed the corner of Buck’s mouth before they parted ways.

“You should never doubt me because I am very pretty, and smart,” Buck said teasingly, grinning at Eddie’s eye roll.

“Well, I’m not going to dispute that,” Eddie said, stealing another kiss.

Buck laughed into his mouth, shoving at his chest. “Go! Or we’ll be here all day.”

“I’m going,” Eddie said, somehow sneaking in another stealthy kiss. “I’m going.”

“Eds—”

“I’m going!” Eddie said, full on grinning now, too. He backed down the aisle as Buck shook his head, unendingly besotted.

Buck headed in the direction of the bakery, scoping out all the options until he found the muffins he was looking for. He could in theory bake them himself, but it was a lot easier to get them pre-made for Chris to grab in a rush.

He was humming, a little lost in thought, when he heard an all too familiar voice come from behind him.

“Evan?”

There was only one person who still doggedly called him ‘Evan’ exclusively. Even his parents, as careless as they may be, had gotten the memo to refer to him as ‘Buck,’ on the rare occasions he saw them.

Buck turned around, the hairs on the back of his neck standing up.

Buck held in his grimace, his hand coming to rest protectively over his bump.

Tommy’s eyes followed his movement, frowning as he took in his very obvious pregnant belly.

“Umm, hey, Tommy,” Buck said awkwardly. “It’s been a while.”

Tommy’s brow twitched, his frown only deepening as he zeroed in on the ring on Buck’s left hand. “Not that long,” he said, his expression morphing into something unreadable.

“Yeah,” Buck said, itching the back of his neck nervously. “It’s uh, been a crazy few months.”

Tommy opened and closed his mouth a few times. “It’s not… mine, right?”

“No,” Buck said a bit forcefully.

He was honestly shocked and appalled at the very notion. God, he never should have sent Eddie off to the deli by himself. Puking at the smell of some of the cold cuts would be better than the conversation he was trapped in.

He couldn’t believe he was being questioned about the paternity of the twins in the grocery store, of all places. He liked this grocery store, too.

“We never shared a heat, Tommy,” Buck reminded him, keeping his voice low. Technically, he and Eddie hadn’t shared one either, but Tommy didn’t need to know that.

“Your next heat wasn’t for another three months,” Tommy said, crossing his arms. “And you don’t look three months pregnant.”

Buck winced. Yes, they had been broken up for six months; however, any way you sliced it, it still looked kind of bad on his part.

“I’m five months,” he admitted quietly. “Look, Tommy—”

“No, I’m just surprised. You moved on awfully fast. I guess I’m curious who the sucker is who’d want to compete,” Tommy said, in the nonchalant, cruel way he was oh so good at.

Buck’s jaw dropped. He was readying a retort when he felt an arm sling around his waist. He instantly relaxed, sinking into Eddie’s touch automatically.

“Kinard,” Eddie said, perfectly clipped. “Funny seeing you here.”

“Diaz,” Tommy said, blinking rapidly. “I thought you were in Texas.”

“Yeah, well, I’ve been back a few months,” Eddie said through clenched teeth.

Tommy looked between the two of them and scoffed. “Of course, I should have known.”

Eddie worked his jaw, his hand tightening around Buck’s hip. “What are you trying to say?” Eddie said, his voice sharp, bordering on a growl.

Tommy shrugged. “Guess I’m shocked you didn’t go ahead and bond him the minute we broke up.”

Eddie took a step forward. “You wanna say that again?” His voice was low and stormy, taking on a tone Buck had never heard before.

Tommy squared his shoulders, tilting his chin up. Buck thought distantly that he couldn’t believe there was ever a time he found him somewhat attractive.

“You never deserved him,” Eddie hissed. Buck could tell he was about two seconds away from punching Tommy in the middle of this grocery store, which would be decidedly not good, even if a part of him kind of vied to witness it. “You fucking piece of—”

Buck grabbed Eddie’s arm, effectively cutting off his sentence and forcing him to look at him. “Eddie,” Buck said pleadingly. “Don’t.”

Tommy smirked. “He’s keeping you on a short leash, huh, Diaz?”

Buck tugged on Eddie’s arm to pull him back before he glared at Tommy. “Tommy, and I mean this, from the bottom of my heart, fuck off.”

Tommy’s mouth parted in surprise.

“And by the way? It was never a competition. You weren’t ever even in the running,” Buck snapped.

He was brimming with rage. Not the kind that had settled in Eddie and grown roots until it became a part of him, a part that Buck loved, despite the shame and guilt Eddie often associated with it. No. This rage was fierce and protective, causing Buck to want to gnash his teeth and snarl. How dare Tommy accost him in the grocery store, in front of his family, the love of his life, when he was the one who broke up with him?

“C’mon, let's go,” Buck managed to grit out, hauling Eddie back towards their cart by the belt loops of his jeans.

Buck steered them in the direction of the checkout, Eddie’s hand on his hip like a brand. He wasn’t entirely sure if they’d gotten everything on his list, and at this point, he didn’t care. He needed to get the fuck out of this grocery store.

If he ever saw Tommy again, it would be too soon.

They checked out in silence, while Buck bagged their groceries with a little more force than was necessary.

Eddie took control of the cart, and Buck linked their fingers together as they walked out to the parking lot.

“What a fucking asshole,” Buck muttered, once they were in front of his Jeep, the cart now pushed off to the side.

Eddie lifted the hatch of his trunk, and before Buck really registered what was happening, Eddie was grabbing his hips and sitting him up on the edge of the trunk. Eddie bullied his way in between his legs. He pressed his face into Buck’s neck, sinking his teeth into the soft skin of Buck’s throat. It wasn’t on his mating gland, for obvious reasons, but it was close enough that Buck let out an involuntary whine.

As soon as Eddie’s teeth slipped free, he cupped his hand around the nape of Buck’s neck, dragging Buck into a fervid kiss. Buck returned the kiss readily, sucking on Eddie’s tongue and molding their mouths together. He hitched out another whine that Eddie eagerly swallowed.

Eddie pressed kiss after open-mouthed kiss against Buck’s lips, greedily, as if he couldn’t get enough.

Eventually they broke apart, both panting for air. Buck’s lips were slick with spit and well on the way to being kiss-swollen, and from the looks of it, Eddie was faring pretty much the same.

Eddie rested his forehead along Buck’s, so that Buck felt the tickle of each one of his breaths as it exhaled from his mouth.

Eddie squeezed his eyes shut. “Sorry,” he murmured.

Buck’s brain was a bit foggy from being so thoroughly kissed. He let out a small, confused hum at Eddie’s random apology. He licked his lips, wanting to chase Eddie’s mouth. “What?”

“I’m sorry I lost my temper,” Eddie said after a beat. “I shouldn’t have.” He sucked in a sharp, ragged breath. “It’s just, the way he talks to you—” his voice took on a dark, rumbly quality. “God, Buck, I wanted to kill him.”

“Eds,” Buck croaked out, squirming where he sat. He could admit that the thought was getting him wet, even though it was fucked up. Whatever. He’d unpack it later when Eddie wasn’t in his space, being hot and possessive.

He fisted his hands at the bottom of Eddie’s henley, urging him impossibly closer.

“Alpha,” Buck said, his breath hot over Eddie’s cheek. He knew it wasn’t playing fair, but Jesus Christ, Eddie had him so wet and turned on he almost couldn’t stand it. “Only stopped you because we were in public with about a dozen cameras. But if we weren’t…” Buck’s throat clicked as he swallowed. “I would’ve let you.”

“Yeah?” Eddie growled, his voice low and dangerous as he crowded completely into Buck’s space. “This getting you off?”

Buck nodded shakily.

“I hate that he ever touched you,” Eddie hissed, his eyes flashing briefly. “He doesn’t even deserve to look at you.”

Buck held back the moan brewing in the back of his throat. He had to be soaking through his sweatpants with slick at this point. As much as he wanted Eddie to bend him over right then and there and knot him, and—oh, he wanted—at least one of them had to be responsible enough to keep their cool.

“Eds, we’re gonna get arrested,” Buck said gently. He trailed a line of sloppy kisses up Eddie’s jaw until his lips were right against his ear. “Get me home and then you can remind me who I belong to.”

“Fuck,” Eddie swore emphatically.

“That’s the idea, yeah,” Buck said, and grinned when Eddie nipped over his jaw.

Eddie pulled himself away, righting Buck with steady, sure hands, until he was standing on wobbly legs.

“C’mon,” Eddie said huskily. “We’re getting you in the car.”

“The groceries—” Buck protested weakly.

“I’ve got the groceries,” Eddie said firmly, already guiding him towards the passenger side. He opened the door and lifted Buck onto the seat, despite there not being as much of a jump as with Eddie’s truck. The gesture filled Buck with a warm, fuzzy glow. He knew it was Eddie’s way of making sure he was safe and cared for.

He didn’t mind being doted on if Eddie was doing the doting.

Eddie made quick work of the groceries. Buck watched him, biting his lip, waiting for Eddie to slide into the driver’s seat. The second he was inside and the door was shut, Buck reeled him in for another kiss.

“You gotta behave, baby,” Eddie said into his mouth, even though he returned the kiss enthusiastically.

“I’ll be good,” Buck whined in between frenzied kisses. “I’ll be so good.”

“I know you will,” Eddie said, his voice red-hot and sugary. “Just let me get you home, okay?”

“Okay,” Buck agreed, knowing that was the best avenue to get what he really wanted, which was Eddie inside of him.

Although—

“I hope you know as soon as I’m not pregnant anymore, I want car sex,” Buck said, his lips brushing against Eddie’s. “Lots and lots of car sex.”

Eddie huffed, the side of his mouth his mouth quirking up to give Buck that half-smile half-smirk that was so devastatingly handsome it made his knees weak.

“I’m sure we can figure something out,” Eddie said, releasing his grip around the nape of Buck’s neck to start his Jeep.

Once they were out of the grocery store parking lot and on the road, Buck stole Eddie’s right hand from off the gear shift. He tangled their fingers together, holding them in his lap with both hands. He thumbed over the scent gland on Eddie’s wrist, needing to mark his territory.

“We need to get you a ring,” he blurted out, apropos of nothing.

Eddie’s eye slid over to him for a moment before turning back to the road. “Yeah?”

“People need to know you’re taken. I don’t want people hitting on you on calls,” Buck grumbled. “Especially when I’m not there to set them straight.”

Eddie bit his lip, clearly holding back a pleased grin. “It’s not like I get hit on that often, baby.”

“You do,” Buck insisted. “You just don’t realize it half the time.”

Eddie shrugged—well, the best he could manage with both of his hands in use, and his arm stretched awkwardly to rest in Buck’s lap. “Why would I care? I know who I’m coming home to.”

Pure unadulterated want coursed through Buck’s veins, settling like molten in his gut, at Eddie’s words, and how easily he said them.

“We’re getting you a ring,” Buck said with conviction, lifting Eddie’s hand so he could start mouthing at the scent gland on his wrist.

“Alright, we can get me a ring,” Eddie said, his smile peeking through.

Buck spent the rest of the drive happily sucking on the scent gland on Eddie’s wrist, getting lost in the fog that fuzzied his brain whenever he had the opportunity to surround himself in Eddie’s scent.

He got so lost, imagining Eddie with a ring on his finger, that it startled him when Eddie gently pulled his wrist away from where he’d been holding it hostage.

Buck blinked over at him, hazily, watching as Eddie got out of the car.

He opened up the passenger door, his eyes roaming over Buck.

He leaned in close, and Buck hummed at getting another waft of his scent.

“What you’re going to do,” Eddie said, his tone soft, yet no less of a command. “Is, you’re gonna get in our bed, lay out, and get all nice and comfy for me. I’ll put the groceries away while you’re doing all that. Think you can do that for me? Be good for me?”

Buck nodded jerkily, his eyes half-mast.

He’d do anything if Eddie was asking.

“That’s my good boy,” Eddie crooned, kissing over Buck’s birthmark fleetingly.

Buck gave Eddie a wide, love-sick smile, floating on cloud nine at his Alpha’s praise.

Buck did as he was told, after Eddie helped him out of the Jeep.

He went straight to the bedroom and got to work settling the nest on top of their bed until it was absolutely perfect. His inner Omega instincts were thrumming and preening at providing the perfect space for his Alpha and their growing pups.

He shucked off his clothes in a haste, leaving only his socks—sky blue, that matched his eyes, with little cartoon bumblebees sewn in—because it was getting too difficult to take them on or off around his bump without Eddie’s assistance.

Once he was down to only his socks, he laid out in their bed, resting his head on Eddie’s pillow to suck in his scent as he waited.

He rubbed over his belly absently, and giggled when one of the girls kicked lightly under his palm.

“What are you laughing about?” Eddie spoke up suddenly from the doorway, his hip cocked against the doorframe, and his arms crossed. His expression was fond.

Buck held his arms out, making grabby hands at him. “They’re kicking!” Buck said excitedly. “C’mon, feel, feel!”

Eddie immediately stepped forward, and kneeled onto the bed. He splayed one of his large hands over Buck’s bump, right where the kicking was.

“Seems like they wanted some attention,” Eddie mused, peering up at Buck through his lashes. “Wonder where they got that from?”

Buck urged his bump even further into Eddie’s hand. “Mmm, I dunno,” he said, unable to keep the shit-eating grin off his face. “Sounds like a ‘Diaz’ trait to me.”

“Oh, is that right?” Eddie teased, finally crawling up Buck’s frame to hover over him.

“You gonna help me take my socks off?” Buck asked, wrapping his legs around Eddie’s waist to keep him in place.

Eddie trailed his hand up Buck’s mile long legs appreciatively. “Nah,” he said eventually. “They’re cute.” Buck melted. “Plus,” Eddie continued. “Wouldn’t want your feet to get cold.”

“Eds,” Buck whispered.

No matter how long he spent with him, Eddie never failed in making it feel like he was pouring love directly into every crack and crevice that had splintered Buck throughout his life.

Eddie didn’t want his feet to get cold, because he knew his feet got cold—they always were cold.

“We got a couple of hours,” Eddie carried on, as if he had no clue what his little acts of kindness did to Buck. As if all his tiny gestures didn’t make Buck fall more and more hopelessly in love with him every single day. He thought maybe he’d reach the bottom of it at some point, but every day he proved him wrong. He was slowly realizing that perhaps there was no limit to the depth of his affection for Eddie. “What do you want?”

“Want you to mark me up,” Buck said, the answer falling off his tongue easily enough. “Want you to show me I’m yours.”

“You’re already mine,” Eddie said, his eyes darkening. “You’ve been mine.” Eddie eased Buck’s legs from off his waist, spreading them so Buck was fanned out, all of his skin at Eddie’s disposal.

Eddie hummed, making a considering noise in the back of his throat as he raked his eyes up and down Buck’s body.

He started by Buck’s ankle, right above where his sock bunched up, and ended. His lips grazed over the puckered flesh of his surgery scar, where they’d sliced him open to reset his bones and align the new pins and screws that occasionally caused his leg to ache. With anyone else, he’d feel insecure about the imperfect, jagged line.

Not with Eddie.

Never with Eddie.

Eddie knew what he’d gone through to get that scar, and what it meant to still have a leg for the scar to be on. Eddie had a way of touching and kissing it that made him feel beautiful.

Eddie sucked a dark mark over the scar, only satisfied when a mark began to bloom on Buck’s pale skin.

He sucked another mark on the side of Buck’s knee.

And another one on Buck’s hip, carefully avoiding the swell of his bump.

He kissed up his sternum, sinking his teeth into the skin just above his right nipple. Buck keened, one of his hands flying up to tangle in Eddie’s hair.

It was fluffy and un-gelled, sure to be sticking up all over the place by the time they were done. Buck had the delirious thought to throw out the hair gel he insisted on putting on every day before work. Buck liked his hair like this—it was softer, and less severe; more representative of the Eddie he knew and loved—one that wasn’t buttoned-up and painstakingly controlled.

“Love your tits,” Eddie murmured, sliding his hands over them. He thumbed at Buck’s nipple, drawing a whine out of him as pleasure zapped up his spine like hot sparks. He nipped and sucked on a patch of skin above his nipples, then trailed his mouth over to suck a matching mark on the other side. Before he did, he said, perfectly nonchalant, his lips grazing Buck’s skin with every word, “You know they bounce whenever you’re riding my cock.”

“Eddie,” Buck whimpered, high and thready.

Once Eddie was satisfied with his matching marks, he grinned, cocky and feral.

Oh. Buck was in trouble.

“Keep saying my name, baby. Just like that,” Eddie crooned. Buck felt his hot breath on the center of his chest.

Then—

“You’d look so pretty with a necklace, don’t you think?”

A wave of slick rushed out of Buck’s entrance as he clenched around nothing, and his cock spurted pre-come onto his belly.

“Please,” Buck begged, utterly shattered. “Please, please, please—”

Eddie sucked a ring of marks over Buck’s collarbones, making sure that each one was a dark purple.

Arousal, sticky and warm, pooled in Buck’s gut.

Once Eddie was finished, a deep, pleased rumble vibrated from his chest.

Buck was a keening, squirming mess. Desperation clawed at him to have Eddie inside of him. He needed— he needed—

“I’m not done yet, baby,” Eddie tsked, though it was soft, and not at all chiding. “You’re being so good for me. I know you can keep being good.”

Buck bit back a half-moan half-sob as Eddie slid down, situating himself between Buck’s spread legs. His thighs were coated in slick, and he was so hard it hurt.

“Eddie,” He whined as Eddie began to lap up the slick on his thighs.

Eddie paused for a moment, nosing at the sensitive scent gland on Buck’s inner thigh. Then, with little warning, he sank his teeth into the thin skin of Buck’s thigh, deep enough that Buck was positive he’d be wearing the imprint of Eddie’s teeth for the next week, if not longer.

White-hot pain-pleasure flooded through him like a knife. It barely registered that he was coming untouched, not until black spots marred his vision, and he returned to his body, his breathing labored, and ears ringing.

“Hey, hey,” Eddie cooed. “Breathe, baby, you’re okay.” He crawled up Buck’s body to wrap Buck in his arms and tuck his face into his neck.

Buck went willingly, shuddering as aftershocks wracked his body, panting into Eddie’s neck.

“You did so good. You’re perfect. My perfect sweet Omega,” Eddie praised, smattering kisses all over Buck’s face.

Buck lulled his head back, his words coming out slurred. “Are you gonna fuck me?”

“Baby,” Eddie said gently. “That was a lot. Are you sure?”

“Yeah,” Buck said, nestling closer to Eddie. “Want it.” He attempted to spread his legs uncoordinatedly. “Empty.”

“Okay,” Eddie said, kissing his temple. “Okay, baby.”

He slipped his hand down to Buck’s entrance, where Buck was already relaxed from his intense orgasm, and sopping wet. The pads of Eddie’s fingers grazed over his hole, and Buck’s hips jerked involuntarily. He was oversensitive, but wanted nothing more than to have Eddie inside of him.

Eddie inched in two of his fingers at once. The intrusion soothed Buck like a balm, and he hummed happily, his mouth spit-lick and open where it was tucked into Eddie’s neck. He panted, welcoming Eddie’s fingers inside of him.

Slick gushed out of his entrance as Eddie’s fingers fucked in and out of him.

Buck made little punched-out whimpers against Eddie’s neck. Eddie’s free hand rubbed up and down his flank to soothe him.

“You get so sweet as soon as something’s inside of you,” Eddie said, his tone saccharine, despite his words being filthy.

“Not just anything,” Buck said, needing Eddie to understand his devotion. “Just you. Only when you’re inside of me.”

“That’s right,” Eddie confirmed. “Cause you’re my baby.”

A sob strangled its way out of Buck’s throat, and he ground his hips back onto Eddie’s fingers. “‘M your baby,” he slurred.

Warmth billowed out from his core, draping his body in a cozy blanket. The fuzziness in his head increased tenfold as he took in greedy gulps of Eddie’s scent.

“More,” Buck managed to garble out, his tongue thick and cottony.

Eddie eased in another finger, so three were inside of him.

The tip of his finger nudged at his prostate, liquifying his limbs.

“Do you still want my cock, or just my fingers?” Eddie asked him, and it took a minute for his words to process through the syrupy haze that had replaced all the blood in Buck’s veins.

“Want your knot,” Buck said.

He loved Eddie’s fingers. God, did he love Eddie’s fingers.

But in choosing between his fingers or his knot, it wasn’t really a choice.

“Okay, sweetheart,” Eddie murmured, retracting his fingers from Buck’s hole.

It was agonizing, for a moment, being empty.

However, Buck didn’t have long to mourn, because Eddie adjusted them. He maneuvered Buck onto his side, moving his limbs like he was a rag doll, and positioned him just so. He sidled up behind him and aligned himself, his chest to Buck’s back. He pressed his face into the nape of Buck’s neck.

“God, baby,” Eddie said, his voice hushed, sounding overcome. He let out a ragged breath, exhaling the hot air against the back of Buck’s neck. His cock nestled itself at the rim of Buck’s dripping entrance. “Wish I could just keep you here. Nobody else should even get to look at you. You’re so beautiful it drives me crazy.”

Buck moaned as Eddie’s cock teased at his hole, ever so close, but not sinking in just yet.

“I shouldn’t have left you alone,” Eddie said, his arms wrapping around Buck’s torso to cradle his bump. He took some of the weight off of Buck’s hips and lower spine, relieving him of the pressure he’d gotten used to in the background. “When I came back and saw him talking to you, I wanted to rip his fucking throat out.”

Buck moaned loudly, his hole pulsing and throbbing at Eddie’s words.

Buck ground his hips wantonly, causing the tip of Eddie’s cock to breach his hole before it slipped out, partially due to how wet Buck was, and the wrong angle.

“Next time,” Buck gasped.

Eddie growled, his face in Buck’s neck.

“There won’t be a next time,” Eddie said like a threat. A rush of arousal and want stoked up Buck’s belly like a fierce tug. Eddie had a way of making him feel like he was constantly in heat, clawing and shaking for his knot, no better than a knot-hungry whore.

He was Eddie’s knot-hungry whore, though. And he had the rounded belly to prove it.

Eddie held onto Buck’s center with an iron grip, steadying him as he sank his cock inside of him. Buck was so grateful he could cry.

Eddie’s cock silenced all of his senses, narrowing down his world to the fullness of Eddie’s cock splitting him open.

Buck was sure his eyes rolled to the back of his head at the first snap of Eddie’s hips, burying his cock in as deep as it would go.

Why did Buck even want to go to the grocery store in the first place when he could’ve been right here? He should’ve stayed on Eddie’s knot.

“You should’ve bent me over right there,” Buck scraped out, halfway to delirious of what he was even saying. “I would’ve let you.”

“Fuck,” Eddie bit out, and the following off-rhythm jerk of his hips was brutal, tearing a keening whimper out of Buck’s throat.

“Eddie—” Buck moaned as Eddie fucked into him hard, his hot breath on the nape of his neck causing goosebumps to rise all over his body.

“He doesn’t deserve to see you like this,” Eddie muttered, his hand over Buck’s bump like a reminder. He held Buck tightly against him so Buck had nowhere to go as his cock railed into him. “Never should have let him touch you. You’re mine.”

“Yours,” Buck agreed, his hole swallowing Eddie’s cock over and over again. The bite on his thigh throbbed in tandem with each frantic beat of his heart. Buck scrambled for Eddie’s hand, shoving it against where Eddie’s teeth were now imprinted into his skin. It wasn’t the bite he really wanted, but was still a bite all the same. “Yours, Eds, yours,” Buck croaked out, his voice wrecked, as Eddie’s fingers dug into the bite mark.

“Never gonna be a next time,” Eddie grunted, his voice like gravel. “‘Cause I’m never letting you leave the house. I’m gonna keep you here, on my knot, where you belong.” His cock battered against Buck’s prostate, and he saw stars, his mouth dropping open.

Eddie kept going, his thrusts punishing and unyielding. “As soon as the girls are born, I’m gonna knock you up again,” Eddie told him, like a promise Buck desperately wanted him to make good on. “And again, and again, and again, so you always have a baby in your belly, and everyone knows who you belong to.”

“Please,” Buck hiccupped around a sob. “Please, please—”

“I’ll give ‘em to you,” Eddie swore. “All the babies you want.”

Even though Eddie’s knot was just starting to form, Buck felt his orgasm ramp up unexpectedly. It shot up from the base of his spine, lighting up his nerve endings like a sparkler as he clenched tight around Eddie’s cock, and black and white spots flooded his vision.

Oversensitivity made him shudder, but he reached behind himself to latch onto Eddie’s hip, urging him to keep going. He needed Eddie’s knot. He’d earned it.

“Eds,” Buck managed, his voice hoarse.

“Close,” Eddie panted by his ear, and Buck could tell, purely from the way Eddie fucked into him, his knot barely slipping out of Buck’s hold with every thrust.

Within a handful of thrusts, Eddie’s knot swelled to its full size, locking them together. Eddie’s hips halted, his pelvis completely flush to Buck’s ass. The breaths escaping him were ragged as he held onto Buck, surrounding him entirely with his body.

Eddie’s knot popping sent another scattering of sparks through Buck’s nervous system, and the warmth of Eddie’s come filling him satisfied his inner Omega like a drug.

Buck sagged in his embrace, turning his head to nuzzle his nose along Eddie’s cheek as the latter’s head dropped to rest his forehead on Buck’s shoulder.

Buck swallowed, taking stock of his limbs.

“That,” Buck said after a moment, his voice crackly, “has to be in our top five.”

“Jesus,” Eddie said, still out of breath.

“Jesus was not in the room during that,” Buck joked, and grinned when he felt Eddie’s snort.

Eddie’s hand cradled Buck’s bump, and he dragged his nose over the scent gland on Buck’s neck. His finger began to trace a pattern along the taut skin—one that Buck now knew.

Buck smiled privately to himself.

When Eddie’s knot went down, he pulled out of Buck gently. Buck couldn’t help his quiet mewl at the loss.

“Sorry, mi vida,” Eddie murmured, kissing behind his ear.

“‘S okay,” Buck said, sighing.

“We should shower,” Eddie said, “while we still have some time.” Granted, he sounded about as reluctant as Buck felt about moving.

“We should find a place with a bathtub for our new house,” Buck grumbled petulantly. “I don’t wanna stand right now.”

“That sounds nice,” Eddie replied, but his voice sounded off.

“What?” Buck prodded, running his hand up Eddie’s forearm.

“Nothing,” Eddie said. Buck hummed disbelievingly, urging Eddie on. “I just—” Eddie said, stopping with a small huff, and Buck knew it only meant that Eddie was searching for the right words.

“You just?” Buck whispered when silence befell them.

“I didn’t think I would ever get to have this,” Eddie admitted. “Things with Shannon were never really… I don’t think there ever was a time when things were good between us. Even before Christopher, it was casual, you know? We were two kids fooling around. We probably wouldn’t have lasted too long after high school. When she was pregnant, we spent most of it being terrified, and I could tell she was so pissed at me for stalling her plans. Then, when Christopher was born, she was pissed at me for finding an escape when she couldn’t have one of her own, not without being painted as the bad guy. And I’m not saying—she… she had every right to be pissed at me, I’m not saying she didn’t. I just. When me and Chris moved out here, I figured that would be my forever; us as two cornered kids always keeping one eye out for an escape.”

Buck listened, his heart aching for these younger versions of Eddie and Shannon. He knew they wouldn’t trade Christopher for the world, and there was no doubt that he was loved, but it didn’t change the circumstances of his conception—two petrified kids caught in a bear trap.

“Then after she died,” Eddie said, his throat clicking around a swallow. “Dating and marriage felt like a role I had to play. I thought I’d find someone I loved well enough, someone I didn’t mind… which I know—I know that’s not how you’re supposed to view love. Loving Christopher was easy, and I thought maybe it was one of a kind, like, I’d never find someone I loved in the way I love Christopher, where it’s all encompassing and bleeds out of you like a gaping wound.”

“And now?” Buck asked softly, squeezing Eddie’s hand where it rested over his bump.

Eddie sucked in an unsteady breath. Buck felt his eyes twist shut against the nape of his neck when Eddie tucked his face in there.

“Now there’s joy,” Eddie said, his voice breaking. “I assumed I probably wouldn’t have more kids and that Christopher was the best fluke of my life. But when I think about the girls, I already love them as much as I love Christopher. I never realized that this time could be so happy.” Eddie paused. “And then there’s you.”

“Yeah?” Buck breathed.

“I love you so much, I don’t know what to do with it most of the time. Sometimes I think, well, there’s no way I can love him more than I do right now, and every day it surprises me. Every day you smile at me, or make a dumb joke, or just fucking breathe next to me and it hits me. Oh, I can love him more. Oh, there will probably never be an end to this. You’re not someone who just fits, you’re the love of my life.”

“Oh, Eds,” Buck said, his voice unable to reach louder than a whisper.

“I always want to be around you,” Eddie said, like a confession. “I wish I could enjoy this without constantly thinking of every way it could go wrong.”

Buck hummed sympathetically. He knew Eddie down to his bones and knew what had caused this line of thinking. Even though he’d said in his proposal that he wasn’t scared when it came to being with him, Buck knew it wasn’t that simple.

For Eddie, love and anxiety went hand in hand. The way he showed love was through how anxious he was at losing them. He needed to be in control, and loving someone wholeheartedly was a form of succumbing to a lack of it.

Buck gnawed on his lip. “You’re still thinking about that call from the other day, aren’t you?”

“Yeah,” Eddie said eventually, his voice small.

“I can’t promise that nothing’s going to ever happen to me,” Buck said, hating the taste of the words as they came out of his mouth. Eddie made a pained nose from behind him. “I can’t. You know I can’t.”

“I know,” Eddie agreed.

“But you also know I’ll do anything to come home to you. To our family,” Buck said emphatically, securing Eddie’s hand tighter around his bump to punctuate his point.

Eddie took in a breath, exhaling it slowly against the nape of Buck’s neck.

“I know,” he repeated.

And Buck hoped he did.

—

Once they had showered, washing each other with gentle touches, they settled on the couch.

Eddie’s mouth had twisted into a frown when he got a good look at the bite on Buck’s thigh. Buck’s body was littered with bruises, and Eddie had turned suspiciously quiet as he scrubbed over them with barely there circles of the washcloth he was using.

“What’s wrong?” Buck had asked, smoothing some of the wet strands that had fallen over his forehead out of his face.

“We need to bandage that bite when you’re dry,” Eddie said, his voice flat and worryingly hollow.

“Yeah, probably,” Buck said easily. He brushed over Eddie’s jaw with his thumb. “Hey, talk to me.”

Eddie wouldn’t look at him. “You’re still bleeding, Buck.”

Buck softened. “Eds, honey, you didn’t hurt me.”

Eddie shook his head, still not looking at him. “I was too rough,” He said, as if he’d already sentenced himself. “I mean, you’re covered in bruises, I—”

“Most of them are hickeys not bruises, c’mon,” Buck said, wanting to nip this spiral in the bud. “All of them I asked for, and wanted, and enthusiastically consented to.”

“I shouldn’t have—”

“Eddie,” Buck said, crowding him up against the shower wall. He cradled his face in both of his hands so Eddie didn’t have a chance but to look at him. “You didn’t hurt me.”

“Buck—”

“You didn’t hurt me,” Buck said, leaving no room for argument. “Okay?”

Eddie gave him a short nod. “Okay,” he relented.

“I know you’re scared and worried about me,” Buck said quietly. “But I’m not made of glass because I’m pregnant. I don’t want you to treat me like that. I like that you bit me. In fact, I want you to do it again sometime. I like being reminded that I’m yours.”

“Okay,” Eddie said again.

Buck smiled and pressed their lips together.

When they got out of the shower, Eddie patted Buck dry, giving careful reverence to the bandage he secured over Buck’s thigh.

They still had a little bit of time left before they’d have to collect Chris from school.

Buck was tucked completely into Eddie’s side, halfway sprawled in his lap. He nosed along Eddie’s scent gland, taking in the calming steady presence of his scent.

He sighed happily at Eddie’s hands playing with his damp curls, rubbing soothing circles into his scalp.

Buck brushed the back of his knuckles against the prickly hairs making up Eddie’s five o’clock shadow. He’d shave it all away in the morning before work, leaving his cheeks and jaw smooth.

Buck’s pinky slid haphazardly against the little scar at the corner of his jaw, where he’d nicked himself real good the first time he ever shaved. It was a story he’d told wryly; having to teach himself. His Dad was away for work too often to ever have time to show him, and Buck was grateful for Maddie, as he often was. She had experience shaving, not with her face, though the same techniques were applicable. She had teased Buck about his patchy adolescent facial hair before walking him through what he needed to do with kind eyes and her patented patience.

Buck’s parents were a piece of work he was still parsing through, but at least he’d had Maddie. He hadn’t had to be the strong one, putting on a brave, all-knowing facade for little siblings when flying by the seat of his pants in reality.

Now that he was pregnant, he couldn’t fathom shrugging shoulders at missing milestones.

Christopher would probably have to learn to shave soon, and Buck knew Eddie would gladly take the helm.

The thought made him warm.

It was easy to imagine Eddie coaching the girls on how to walk, or how to ride a bike, with tiny training wheels, no name of a family secret etched onto the back.

“What are you thinking about?” Eddie said lowly, pretending to bite Buck’s fingers where they rested over his mouth, making Buck grin. His heart thrummed in his chest at every pulse of love, love, love.

“I was thinking…” Buck said lowly, fluttering his lashes. “You should grow back the mustache.”

Eddie snorted. “Oh, yeah? You miss it?”

“Never got to kiss you with it,” Buck said, pouting. “I liked it.”

“You never told me you liked it when I had it,” Eddie pointed out.

Buck’s smile went shy. “We weren’t together then,” Buck said with a half-shrug. “Didn’t feel appropriate.”

“Chim sure didn’t have a problem telling me how much he liked it,” Eddie said with a small laugh.

Buck bit his lip, sliding his body so he was fully in Eddie’s lap. He leaned forward, and mouthed at Eddie’s jaw, by his ear.

“I didn’t just like it,” Buck told him. “It got me so wet.”

“Buck,” Eddie said warningly. “We just took a shower.”

“Grow back the mustache,” Buck whispered hotly, and Eddie’s hands squeezed at his hip. “And I’ll show you just how much I like it.”

“Give me a few days,” Eddie said, his voice strained.

Buck grinned against the cut of his jaw. “Can’t wait.”

—

Holding onto his word, a few days later, when they had another sparse joint day off together, Eddie crowded Buck into the bathroom.

Chris was off at school, and they had plenty of time.

Eddie lifted Buck onto the counter and came in close enough that Buck settled between his legs, looking up at him with, he was sure, stars in his eyes.

“Can I do it?” Buck asked, peering up through his lashes for good measure.

Eddie braced his arms on the counter, on either side of Buck, caging him in.

“Sure, cosita,” Eddie crooned.

Eddie had already washed his face, so Buck was able to use the same wet washcloth. He dragged it along Eddie’s cheeks and chin, ensuring the skin and facial hair he was sporting were good and damp.

When he was done, he squirted out a generous portion of shaving cream onto the tips of his fingers. He smeared it across Eddie’s face and down the top bit of his neck.

He was reminded of when he helped Eddie shave after he’d gotten shot. That had been prefunctory at the time, the same as helping him shower had been. This time was different; he didn’t have Eddie’s sunken eyes, glazed from all the prescriptions he was on, staring at him from seemingly miles away. Eddie’s jaw wasn’t clenched, a sign of his bruised ego and wounded pride at being helpless. Even though Buck didn’t mind—he would never mind doing these things for Eddie.

Now, it was intimate.

Buck was slow with the first glide of the razor; cautious and precise.

He loved when he got to watch Eddie shave in the morning, whether at home or at the station. Eddie was methodical, showing off his mild vain streak, especially when he followed it by doing his hair—gelling it expertly, even if Buck had been long-plotting the demise of his hair gel.

Eddie would tilt his head, turning it back and forth to double-check he hadn’t missed any spots. Then, he’d nod to himself, just once, when he was satisfied.

It was dorky, it was hot, and Buck was so in love with him he’d be fine with watching him shave for hours.

Shaving was a half-asleep routine for Buck, one he’d do with his eyes mostly closed a majority of the time. He’d run the razor up his jaw with a quickness, wanting to get it out of the way in as little time as possible. For him, there was no finesse or delicacy; it was merely a means to an end.

He didn’t do that with Eddie.

Buck narrowed his eyes, sliding the razor up in steady, molasses-slow strokes. He urged Eddie’s head back, exposing his throat, and to the side, with the tip of his index finger, wanting to get the angle exactly right.

As he shaved over Eddie’s chin, Eddie’s lips quirked up into a small teasing smile.

“Don’t smile,” Buck huffed. “No moving.”

“Sorry,” Eddie said, sounding not sorry at all. “You’re cute like this.”

Buck rinsed off the razor in the sink. “You won’t think I’m cute if I cut you. Stop moving.”

“Nah, I’d probably still think you’re cute,” Eddie said, and Buck could feel a flush begin to color his cheeks.

Buck gave him a look, and Eddie’s face settled back into a flat expression.

“Thank you,” Buck muttered, tracing the razor scrupulously around the edges of the mustache. He’d secretly watched a handful of TikToks the previous night on how to create the best shape and align it so that it was perfect, and would match what Eddie’s mustache had looked like before.

Finally, his work with the razor was done, and he sat it off to the side. He got out the rattail comb and silver baby scissors he’d gotten from Maddie the day before. She’d told him the scissors were meant for eyebrows but he could use them for this purpose, and Buck didn’t really understand how they were meant for eyebrows, but he’d nodded intently and pretended like he’d understood perfectly.

He brushed through the mustache, trimming all the stray hairs until it was groomed to his satisfaction. Then he wiped at Eddie’s face with the washcloth, to get off all the lingering bouts of shaving cream and hairs stuck to his skin.

He set the washcloth, comb and scissors to the side with relish, admiring his handiwork.

“All done?” Eddie asked, his eyes sparkling with mirth. Buck nodded, causing Eddie to smirk. It was so handsome with the return of the mustache a fresh wave of want rolled intensely through Buck. “Can I kiss you now?”

“Yeah,” Buck said, and the words were barely out of his mouth before Eddie was reeling him in for a kiss.

The feeling of Eddie’s mustache rubbing against the skin above his lip was a new sensation, but one that was welcome. Buck moaned, opening his mouth for an even sloppier kiss.

“So,” Eddie said, breaking their kiss, much to Buck’s chagrin. “What’s the verdict?”

“Hmm,” Buck hummed. “Haven’t decided yet. I think I need more data.”

Eddie laughed. “Is that right?”

“Yeah, I think you need to kiss me some more. Just to make sure,” Buck said, fisting his hands in the bottom of Eddie’s t-shirt.

“Well, in the name of science,” Eddie murmured. He leaned in for another kiss, licking into Buck’s mouth in the dirty way that never failed to make Buck’s knees weak. He whined into Eddie’s mouth and wrapped his legs around Eddie’s waist.

Buck was all ready to make good on his promise to show Eddie how much he liked the mustache when his phone started ringing.

At first, they ignored it. However, it continued to ring incessantly until it became hard to ignore.

Eddie pulled his mouth away with a groan. “I guess you should answer that.”

Buck glanced at his phone and noticed it was Maddie’s contact flashing on his screen.

“I can’t believe she’s still cockblocking me as an adult,” Buck muttered under his breath, causing Eddie to snicker.

He answered Maddie’s call with a small sigh. “Hey, Mads, what’s up?”

“You and Eddie have off work today, right?” Maddie replied with no preamble.

Buck looked at Eddie, raising one of his brows. Eddie shrugged, miming vaguely with his hands that he was as caught off guard as Buck was.

“Yeah, we do…why?” Buck asked slowly.

“Could you come over? I have something I think you two are going to want to see,” Maddie said ambiguously.

“I mean, sure?” Buck said, while Eddie shrugged again. “Is everything okay?”

“Everything is great,” Maddie chirped. “I’ll see you in a little bit.”

With that, she abruptly hung up, leaving Buck and Eddie to stare at each other.

“Well, that was weird,” Buck said, frowning at his phone.

“Hey, she’s your sister,” Eddie said, a hint of teasing in his tone.

“She’ll be your sister pretty soon, by law, you know,” Buck grumbled.

Eddie smiled. “That’s not the threat you think it is.”

“We'd better get going, then,” Buck said, reluctantly unwrapping his legs from around Eddie’s waist. “Don’t wanna keep her waiting.”

“Definitely not,” Eddie agreed.

—

As soon as Eddie’s truck rolled up to Maddie and Chim’s house, he barely had time to put it in park before Maddie was hustling down the driveway.

Buck was constantly impressed by her speed, even when pregnant. She was farther along than him, but Buck’s belly was beginning to rival hers in size. He was slowly getting comfortable with the fact that his belly would grow to a harrowing size in the coming weeks, all thanks to the girls. He was edging into waddle territory.

“Alright,” Maddie said, climbing into the backseat. She waved off Eddie’s aborted attempt to get out of the truck to help her up. “We’re going down the street.”

“Umm,” Buck said intelligently. “Why?”

Maddie flashed him a grin. “It’s a surprise!”

Eddie’s truck crawled down the street, following Maddie’s instructions until she abruptly told him to pull in the driveway of a large one-story Spanish-style home, fitted with a porch that had a ramp, only a few doors down from her own house. Buck hazily recalled it belonging to an older couple he’d seen around the neighborhood a few times in passing.

“Mads…” Buck said tentatively.

“C’mon,” Maddie urged, sliding out of Eddie’s truck. “Trust me.”

Eddie helped Buck out of the truck, placing a guiding hand on the small of his back as they walked up the driveway to meet Maddie on the porch.

“Okay, do you remember the Doleys?” Maddie asked, clapping her hands together.

“Kind of?” Buck said, still confused as to what they were doing standing out front of these poor people’s house.

“They’re getting older and are moving in with their daughter and her kids, who live in Connecticut,” Maddie explained. “They’re selling their house, and want the deal done as quickly as possible, so they’re asking considerably under what the market price should be. They haven’t officially put it on the market yet because I told them I had a couple in mind for it.”

Buck took a second to process what she was saying, which allowed Eddie to beat him to the draw.

“For us?” Eddie asked.

Maddie nodded enthusiastically. “It has six bedrooms, three bathrooms, no stairs, and they had it refitted to be accessible ever since Mrs. Doley switched to a wheelchair a few years ago.” She paused, giving them a minute to take everything in. “Do you want to see it?”

Buck shared a look with Eddie, who laced their fingers together. He gave Maddie a small smile. “Yeah, let’s check it out.”

“Great!” Maddie exclaimed. “They gave me a key.” She spun around and unlocked the front door, beckoning both Buck and Eddie inside.

There was a tiny foyer upon entry, large enough to potentially store some shoes and coats, and not much else.

Moving past the foyer, the house opened up into a spacious living room connected to a kitchen. The living room and kitchen were open concept and had no barriers. Buck noticed immediately that either one of them could do tasks in the kitchen while having one eye on the living room. It was comforting to note that he could keep his eyes on any of the kids in the living room while baking, cooking, or doing the dishes.

The kitchen was gorgeous. It had light marble countertops, an insane amount of counter space, a double oven stacked right on top of each other, a large sink, big enough to give a toddler a bath in if the moment arose, and an island at the end with barstool seats. There was a massive window against the one wall that would be perfect to set up a dining table at, one that could seat more people than the tiny one they had at their house currently.

The floors were all hardwood, too, which Buck knew would be the best for Christopher to get around on with his crutches.

Buck and Eddie made their way past the kitchen and living room to a hallway with a few bedrooms. A washer and dry set up was built into a small cut out part of the hallway, next to one of the bathrooms.

There was a bathroom on one end of the hallway, and one at the other. So theoretically Christopher and the girls wouldn’t have to share one. Or, if they had more, the girls could have their own while their other kids had a separate one.

Each bedroom was relatively a blank slate, with hardwood floors and white walls. Buck squeezed Eddie’s hand tightly as they went through each one.

Maddie mainly remained silent, letting them take everything in.

The bathroom at the end of the hallway had a roomy walk-in shower, equipped with a handlebar and a shower chair.

Buck’s breath hitched as he took it all in.

“The master bedroom and master bath are on the other side,” Maddie murmured quietly, once they had inspected every other bedroom and bathroom.

On their way to the other side of the house, they passed a sliding glass door that led to a small patio and fenced-in backyard. There was enough space for a possible playset and even a garden, if tended to, in the far right corner.

The master bedroom was a tad bigger than the other bedrooms, though, not by much. It could easily fit a king-sized bed, like the one Buck had at his loft, which was currently living in storage because Eddie’s bedroom didn’t have the room. The walls of the master bedroom were painted a light blue, one that would match the soft navy sheet set Buck had been eyeing for a while, yet could never justify purchasing.

“Could you give us a second?” Eddie asked Maddie gently.

Maddie gave him a watery, albeit bright smile. “Yeah. I’ll be in the kitchen.”

When she closed the door, leaving them alone, Buck hesitantly stepped into the master bath that directly adjoined the bedroom. He felt his heart stop and his eyes well up with tears as he took in the shower bathtub combo.

“Eds,” Buck said, his voice breaking. He realized it was the first thing he’d said during the entire house tour. He held back a sob. “It has a bathtub.”

Eddie sidled up behind him, placing his hands on Buck’s hips. “It does.”

Buck whirled around in his arms, feeling a little wild and unsteady.

“Eddie,” Buck said with a hushed sort of awe. “This is our house.”

“I know,” Eddie whispered. “I feel it, too.”

“It’s accessible for Chris, it has a backyard, it has enough bedrooms for more kids,” Buck rattled off, causing Eddie to smile. “It has a bathtub.”

“I know,” Eddie said, placing his hand over Buck’s bump.

“And it’s down the street from Maddie and Chim,” Buck said, a few tears escaping from his eyes. “They’d get to be neighbors with their cousins.”

Eddie’s smile was heartbreakingly tender. “It’s not too far from the station and still in Christopher’s school district,” he said softly.

“It’s… Eddie, this is our house,” Buck said desperately. “We have to get it.”

“I know, baby,” Eddie said. It didn’t feel placating; it felt like an agreement, as if they were on the same page that this house was meant to be. They’d spent all this time searching for homes that would fit well enough, when the perfect one had been waiting to fall right into their laps.

“We gotta tell Maddie,” Buck said, sniffling. “I can’t believe she found us our perfect house.”

Eddie’s smile widened. “Sounds like her.”

Maddie was waiting for them patiently in the kitchen once they’d resurfaced from the bedroom. Her face fell slightly when she took in Buck’s blotchy cheeks and the fact that he’d just been crying.

Buck didn’t give her time to dwell on it and instead launched himself into her arms.

“It’s perfect,” he said wetly into her neck. “Maddie.”

Maddie rubbed her hand up and down his back like she used to do when he was little and had a nightmare or stomachache.

“I take it you guys want to put in an offer?” She said, more to Eddie than Buck, as Buck was still an emotional wreck in her arms.

“Yeah, we do,” Buck heard Eddie say from behind him. “We heard we might have some great neighbors on this street.”

“We want it,” Buck said, his voice wobbling as he peeled himself away. “We’ll put in an offer right now, I don’t care. I don’t want it to go to market.”

“I’ll forward you the Doley’s real estate agent’s info,” Maddie said decisively. “And I’ll put in a good word for you,” she said with a wink.

—

After they’d dropped Maddie back off at her own house, Eddie parked his truck on the street outside their prospective new house, just so they could look at it for a while.

“We found our house,” Buck said hoarsely, his eyes tracking over the front door and porch. His mind was already filling with plans and daydreams of the girls running around the house, taking their first steps in the living room, and the chances of one of the empty bedrooms becoming a nursery for other kids down the line.

Eddie picked up his hand, and kissed his ring finger, right above where his ring sat.

“We found our house,” he echoed.

For the first time since they’d started looking, Buck felt like he could take a deep breath.