Chapter Text
I gasped when I felt cold hands on my back, jolted awake from the soft pallet, sweating with my eyes wide open.
“ Patroclus? Are you okay? Are you sick??” Achilles' eyes were clotted in worry placed his hand on my forehead, I felt so overwhelmed that I had fallen ill because of it, I felt so nauseous as Achilles Laid me back into the soft mattress inspecting my hot face.
I coughed a little “ I will be fine, just a small cold.”
“ you’re burning this is not just a small cold Patroclus, I will get Chiron.” His tone was firm as he expected no objections from me till he mentioned he would get his mentor, my lips trembled and I grabbed his arm.
“ no! I’m fine please.” I weakly uttered from the bed I was not fine, I know I wasn’t but I didn’t want him to find out.
He shook his head, and gently removed my grip from his arm, grabbing the blanket and placing it on me “ rest for now I will be back.”
As the sound of the floor went away, I slowly got up, removing the blanket, and placing it on myself like a veil just in case, and every step felt like painful nails digging in my heels and body.
I needed to see my grandmother, but the one who showed up wasn't her.
The water of the sea rises up and there she was, Thetis once more finding me on the shore “ we—we keep meeting like this your majesty.” I roughed out a joke between coughing and huffing of my chest, her eyebrows went downwards staring at my weakened state, she lifted up my chin to look at her.
“ You shouldn’t be this afraid, if Achilles ever found out, he wouldn’t cast you aside.” She said pulling me in her embrace “ not like the others would, I promise you that, have I ever lied to you?”
I shook my head, not wanting to speak and just melted into the queen’s arms where she hummed softly and pleasantly as she set up. She brought me up with her like a babbling baby.
But she stopped as if sensing someone’s else’s presence near, she didn’t say anything and merely nodded her head. I didn't lift my head up to see who it really was.
It felt embarrassing to be carried off like an infant back to the palace, where the frosted boys quiver as they felt her presence and went to their shared room.
I started coughing and held onto the pillow as she placed me back into my bed, patting my head and gently rubbing it with her cold hands to ease me just a slight bit, even if the warmth in my body was making me extremely uncomfortable.
Achilles lips trembled not knowing what to say, he had never fallen ill as a little babe, nor has he ever felt dread like this but his mother shushed him, as Chiron and Peleus Coughed making their presence known.
“ Thetis..?” Peleus raised his eyebrow at her, she slowly stood up leaving my forehead bare of her cold hands “ what is the matter with the boy?” He questioned his darling wife.
“ sicknesses overwhelmed him, and he came to me for help.” It was not a lie, nor was it the truth but I thank her each time for saying it like this.
“ come, let’s leave wise Chiron to tend to him.” she grabbed his arm with no question guiding him away to leaving me, Achilles and Chiron alone.
Chiron horse legs knelt down to reach down to me, while Achilles gave me his hand to set up, I hissed at how fast the cold have spread throughout me, I panted, my eyes were burning, small droplets from them not out of sadness but being overwhelmed from my sickness.
“ Patroclus, is your name isn't it?” Chiron's brown gaze pierced through me as I nodded “ glory of the father, noble name and noble lineage,”
I only let out a exhale as his touch reached my neck, touching it and inspecting it, Achilles stayed quiet near Chiron, who looked at the boy.
Achilles looked at him and Chiron singled with his hand to leave, Achilles casted his eyes to me as if seeking my approval and I only nodded, clearing my throat to hide my nervousness.
Achilles did leave but I know he was worried for me, he had been since I woke up, I huffed and my lips curled up at his sweet side.
“ Patroclus, you have a fever, but you already knew that.” Chiron said with straight face with no hesitation nor any restraint, his voice was raspy and scratched his beard
“ but I cannot comprehend why you are here.”
“ You know what I am do you not?” I rasped out, my eyebrows frowning annoyed almost, the old Centaur hummed, mixing herbs I have not seen before, I think it was called chamomile, ah Chamomile tea, but he also had brought a cold water basket with a cloth.
“ I am not the only one then I assume, a youngling like yourself wouldn’t have kept up the pressure for this long, that’s why you fall ill.”
The centaur lifted up something, I couldn’t notice but it was a cup? He placed the mixed herbs into the cup and mixed it with a spoon, then he deemed it well, he lifted it up to my mouth, I drank it, despising the weird taste.
“ you need to open up more, especially to those close to you.” I know who he meant, who other than Achilles, but I shook my head, I was far too tired for words but I coughed out “he wouldn’t forgive me for lying to his face.”
He only placed the cup down and pulled the cold basket and ducked the cloth down in it, pulled it up and softly wrapped it and squeezed it slightly before placing it on my forehead, I trembled a slightly at the feeling.
He sighed, rubbing his eyes “ Young one, you are making it harder for yourself, heed my words and think more of it, you are still reckless and young but I know you are smart, but for now, sleep, you will become better soon enough.” He stood up and at that he went away.
I stared at the ceiling. Counting each of the paintings in it, shaped like Sea creatures, gold-fish no doubt a request from a younger Achilles, making me snicker, and an octopus one, a typical you would see drawn in fancy jars and pretty jugs, and on the walls of the palace.
The whole palace consists of the sea creatures and seashells, it made me wonder if Peleus made it this way for his goddess wife to feel like she is at home.
After a bit I succumbed to my exhaustion, my eyelashes fluttered a bit before sleeping, wrapping myself in the blanket even more.
it’s only been a couple of days, since i had fallen ill, i had gotten better quickly, during my sickness Achilles spent it near me, making sure the cloth doesn't slip by even when i told him to go to sleep as well, he cuddles up next to me, wrapping his arms around my waist to keep me warm.
I sigh, even despite that he was distant, i had figured he had eavesdropped to mine and chiron’s conversations, even when he was sent away, i wouldn’t be surprised but i was anxious.
i had spent more time with Thetis, she was still gentle to me but i can see she was still a terrifying goddess despite that, the stories the palace had told me left me surprised.
especially about Polydora.
“ I heard she was sent away by Thetis herself to marry Borus, but it didn’t make any sense.” Tryo love for rumors and gossip spreads on “ Borus already won her over with a huge dowry, but she was a very distant girl.” she continued as she picked the jar up after she filled it with water from the drain “ not even the prince was able to get his half-sister to be more open.”
“ Tryo stop gossiping.” Pyila replied, annoyance creeping in her voice, cutting up wood, the other servants only stared at us minding their business to do their duties.
“ oh come on! I know Otonia likes my gossip, isn’t that right darling!.” She shouts to Otonia who laughed and nodded her head as she was helping out on cleaning the table.
i giggled before looking up at Tryo “ but that can’t be just it? Queen Goddess has been so nice so I don't think she would do that.”
Tyro only shrugged “ Gods and goddesses are still beings we don’t fully understand love, that’s just how it always goes, but be mindful of her, i know she is a generous goddess but to others she is still a young one.” I nodded along to her words, maybe she pitied me? is the reason she seems to be so fond of me.
I sighed, I do miss Achilles. He was so far gone, and far away from me that I felt I was to blame, but I didn't let it hurt me as much, i will find a good time to talk to him, but Pyilla noticed my pout.
she questioned me if there was something wrong, placing the curved bronze axe down, as she kelt besides me, her dark hair clinging to her skin with sweat trailing down her forehead, she was always tasked with the heavy things for a reason her build was different then the others, taller and a bit bulky.
i told her my reasoning, and she shook her head “ he might be busy, he is soon becoming a man, he was bound to have more time with his mentor because of it.” i know, but it still hurts, it felt like i was being avoided like the plague, like i bear illnesses that would affect him, and make him frail.
but no matter Chiron had now stayed in the palace too, teaching Achilles here rather than the forest because Peleus wanted to keep a delicate eye on his son’s whereabouts.
As I bid them goodbye I went to go to play with the boys. Each of the frosted boys had their own little friend group, yet initially never intended to become one of their friends.
I saw that same boy, Alcimus, playing in the sand with another, a much younger boy. He seemed almost like at least seven years old, younger than I was when I came here.
Alcimus noticed me, his ginger hair disheveled, and his hand dirty with the early berries he ate no doubt, his face lit up and waved at me to come near.
I snickered and hopped to their little corner near the tree, and sat down next to them, and the younger boy eyed me and flushed out of embarrassment after seeing my glare on him.
“ I haven't seen you in ages!” I laughed, at most I had seen him whenever it's time for training, but I have been sick for a while so I was excused to not join.
I explained my circumstances, and he nodded along before the boy nudged him, whispering something to him “ ah.. right! Patroclus, this is Automedon.” I waved at him.
“ Nice to meet you.” I spoke to him leaning down slightly to look while in response he only smiled.
“ He is still shy.” Alcimus teased pulling on Automedon’s slightly chubby cheeks which made the boy irritated and stuck out his tongue at him.
As they started to play their games together, I remembered it was the same one I used to play.
When it was my turn I had decided to make it a little bit harder for them to guess it, but the little boy surprised me.
“ Seagull!!” The boy winded up with a huge grin on his face, stars shining in his eyes. I stared at him for a split second before laughing and nodding at him “ you got it!”
it was his first guess as he was still shyer but as the game went on, he was better at this game then Alcimus was for sure.
I didn't see Achilles till dinner, where I sat down opposite of him, he noticed but didn’t say anything, gaping his lips open and closed it like a gold-fish, Peleus placed his hand on my hair ruffling it a bit.
“ I’m glad to see little skops have been well.” I smiled at him “ hopefully the sickness didn’t wear you out too much little one.” he uttered, removing his hand from my hair.
“ It didn't, your highness.” It kind of was a lie but I didn’t want him to dot on me Like Thetis and Achilles did. He chuckled at me “ don’t call me that,I am almost like your father too.”
Achilles was so quiet even his father looked at him, Peleus scratched his beard, before glancing at me again, not saying anything as the servants placed the luxurious dinner, this time with pomegranates my favorite.
In which I would have grabbed one if it wasn’t for Achilles reaching for it too, I didn't make my surprise known but after that I swiftly grabbed one too, he eyed me before snorting.
I merely huffed and blushed from awkwardness, I plucked the seeds from the pomegranate leaving my fingers stained by the red color.
It almost felt weird seeing him stare at me as I placed each seed in my mouth, chewed on it and licked the excused drink that sprouts from the delicate flesh off my lips.
he had still been quiet after Peleus dismissed us to our room to sleep, yet i didn’t fail to notice the red stain on his cheeks while avoiding my gaze.
as we reached our room i settled on the bed but he didn’t, i saw he reached for something shiny, a lyre i didn’t understand why, but he cleared his throat and sat on the floor near the bedding, his fingers glazed over the strings.
“ Master Chiron taught me who to play.” that was his first word to me today, i nodded at him, i softly muttered “ it is beautiful.” the lyre was something special, golden, shaped with a swan at the end of the handles.
“ It was a gift from my mother, i had never had use for it till now.”
“ Can you.. play for me?” I looked out at the window, Selene shining above, with the reflection of the light on the sea below, his lips slightly curled up as he skimped his finger on the string.
I hummed along as he played elegantly with the lyre, a sound so beautiful yet so small was still a talent of a skilled musician, it is hard to believe he was just recently learning how to play.
he continued on, before looking up at me, not stopping the song, i tilted my head to him, my hair falling along with it, he abruptly stopped.
“ I know.”
to which i looked away, i know what he is talking about “ i figured so.” was my response embarrassingly almost, but I have no shame it was better he found out this way then me telling him the truth.
“ why? Why did you not tell me? I had to find out cause I eavesdropped on you and mother.” he mumbled sadly.
i sighed “ i don’t want you to see me differently just because i was not born as a boy like you, or the others.”
“ What's the point of this being a secret if i had told you, Achilles, my words stand true, if i had said something you wouldn’t have been my friend.” a tear slipped by my cheek but i quickly wiped it away, no more tears to shed i promise myself that.
“ Nobody had ever looked at me as if I meant something to them, that’s until you had, you looked at me as if i was something to you, i didn’t want you to be like the others.” i sprouted out more of my old wounds
but then.
“ I'm sorry.” went out of my lips “ i will leave if you want, i don’t want to bother you.” but he stood up and hugged me, causing me to fall back to our bed.
“ no, don’t.” he whispered, tightening his grip.
“ You will always be Patroclus to me, no matter what, but please no more secrets, can you promise me that?” my hand slowly went up his back and hugged him close, and muttered onto his shoulder.
“ I swear it.” and we looked at one another, a smile on both of our faces, and he wiped away my tear.
“ There, no more crying Patty.” He joked, and I giggled before trying to push him away, but his arms never left my waist.
I suppose it would be nicer to cuddle again after so long.