Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

After the officers of the starship USS Enterprise finished their poker game and the First Officer William Riker won - as he so often did - it became quite quiet in the commander's quarters. He quietly tidied everything up, trying not to think about what had just happened. Captain Jean-Luc Picard's journey back and forth through time - caused by Q - made Riker doubt in his own abilities. Sure, he couldn't prevent it, but his job as a First Officer was also to protect his captain from potential dangers, no matter what they might be. While he knew he didn't have himself to blame, Picard wasn't just like his commanding officer. He was like a father - the kind one he had always wanted - and a more than good friend at the same time. He was extremely pleased that the captain had finally joined their poker game after six years, and even though Riker had often let the older man win, he felt a bit uncomfortable around him at the moment... and somehow strange.

It was a feeling that reminded him of his first year here on the Enterprise. A time when, more than anything, he wanted to prove to himself on Starfleet's flagship that he was an exceptionally good and capable officer. A time when, at first, he had sensed a certain coldness from Captain Picard. Back then, Riker hadn't known why he had behaved so reservedly towards him. Either it had been the captain's initial, natural nature, or it was because of the arrogance he was often accused of. For a while, he had even considered that it might have something to do with his file. But after less than a day, he hadn't given that one thought any more credence. After all, Picard had wanted him then solely because of a certain note in his file. Okay, the current situation wasn't 100 percent comparable to the one back then, but he still felt that coldness again. Only this time it was coming from himself.

By now, Riker had finished tidying up, leaving the living area in darkness behind him, and entered the bathroom, where he looked at his mirror. As he stared blankly at his reflection, he couldn't help but think again of the captain's story, how they were all like that in the future. His behavior towards Picard in particular had shaken him the most, and he therefore asked himself how he should behave now to prevent this alternative timeline - a completely possible future. Through Picard's story, he knew that Deanna and Worf's liaison was a kind of catalyst for him. The immense disappointment in Deanna and the cold anger towards Worf ultimately turned him into an old, lonely, and bitter man.

God. How could he have allowed himself to let himself go like that with Deanna. Of course, it wasn't as if he took their friendship for granted. After all, he'd always harbored a faint hope - ever since they'd met again on the Enterprise after all these years, that they'd get back together. Sure, he loved to flirt and had gotten quite close with several of the ladies in this galaxy. But no one could compare to Deanna. She was something special. His Imzadi. ...The woman he needed in his life.

He also knew that there were other men on board who had their eye on the Betazoid beauty. But he'd never really considered them serious competitors, partly because those men knew that he and the counselor were close and didn't want to mess with him - as the starship's first officer. But the fact that Worf, of all people - his best friend on the ship, was putting himself between him and his soulmate made him jealous and downright angry. Yes, he was angry. Angry at Worf, but also at himself. How could he have been so blind that two of his best friends had entered into an intimate relationship ...and behind his back, no less? He'd always thought that Deanna had enough decency, and the Klingon had the sincere honor, to at least talk to him about it. ...Which they never did.

Before the poker game, he had had a clarifying conversation with Worf, and at the end of their conversation they agreed that he would hold back and not come between them, and that in return Worf would not say a word to him about his relationship with Counselor Troi. But a conversation with her still didn't happen, partly because the Betazoid had once said that it was none of his business who she was seeing. This comment had hit Riker pretty hard. They had once agreed that they would talk to each other when they were each considering a serious relationship with someone else. It seemed to him that she no longer saw him as her Imzadi, and so he had to watch as their connection faded and dissolved, like a ghost in the early hours of the morning. ...He had always thought that this Imzadi connection was eternal, and that they would each remain a part of each other until the end of their lives.

With the inevitable feeling that he might soon lose his most important people forever, he suddenly felt a rising loneliness he hadn't felt in a long time. The last time was when he was new to the academy. There he even had the added feeling that everyone was against him. But that time was nothing like what he had experienced as a child. After losing his mother at the age of two, he had lived a life of absolute solitude. His father had hardly ever been there for him. While his father traveled the galaxy as an ambassador and strategic attaché for the Federation, the boy Riker had to raise himself more or less on his own. And even when his father was home, he tried to be a father to his son, but he didn't understand how to do that without his wife. Because of the loss of his mother, he was essentially forced by his father to grow up quickly and take on the role of a wife. His father would say he had merely disciplined him, but young Riker knew it was more than that. ...It was also called controlled abuse.

So a deep, completely insurmountable rift developed between the two. Because he never had a proper childhood and thus never truly had a caring father, it was the loneliest time of his entire life.

It was only when he came to the Enterprise and took on the position of first officer that he was able to slowly forget the quiet loneliness that surrounded his heart. Here he found not only friends for life, but also the family he had always secretly longed for. A family he didn't want to lose. A family for whom he even turned down the position of captain of his own starship every time, thus stalling his own career. A family that meant more to him than anything else. …But now he felt that his new family was being torn apart and that the resulting loneliness was slowly seeping into his heart again.

So he looked closely at his reflection in the mirror and wondered what he had become or what he would become. The longer he looked at himself, the more he longed for a time when he could still call his life worth living. A time when he no longer had to ask himself how long it had been since Deanna had called him Imzadi. He missed that familiarity sorely. With a growing longing for security, he went to the bedroom and then fell onto the bed with a sigh. As he lay there, his thoughts repeatedly drifting back to Deanna, he couldn't help thinking about her having fun with Worf on the holodeck. Just imagining the two of them walking hand in hand along a golden beach in the moonlight was enough to make him feel like crying, but the dam remained strong and unbroken. He couldn't even remember when he had last shed a tear. He hadn't even been able to do so at Tasha Yar's funeral, although he had fought back the tears then. Somehow, he'd lost the ability to cry properly. This was probably partly due to his father telling him, when he was five years old, that boys don't cry.

With all these memories and an idea of ​​how Deanna and Worf conducted their romantic relationship, he fell back against the pillow, placed an arm over his tired, closed eyes, and tried to somehow calm himself until he finally fell asleep.

Chapter Text

In the early hours of the first day shift, Lieutenant Commander Data left his current post on the bridge and took the turbolift down to Deck Eight. From there, he went straight to the officers' quarters and finally stopped in front of one of these rooms. He announced his presence with a beep and waited patiently for a response so that he could simply enter. But there was no response. Since the android Data had already asked the computer on the bridge about the whereabouts of one of his superiors and thus located him in his quarters, he asked himself if he had somehow missed him. Which was entirely possible on a large ship like the Enterprise, with over a thousand souls on board. So he decided to ask the computer again about his whereabouts. But the answer remained the same. He then rang the doorbell again and, faced with renewed ignorance, Data insisted on opening the door using his emergency code. Because if the computer says the officer he's looking for is in his quarters, but he doesn't get a response from him, that means something's wrong.

"Commander?" Data asked the apparently empty room.

Cautiously, he made his way to the bedroom, where he found a used but empty bed. He also noticed a uniform with a communications badge laid out on a dresser, which apparently wasn't in use. The whole thing was starting to feel a bit strange, even for Data, and he looked around the rest of the quarters. Commander Riker was nowhere to be seen. But as he was about to leave his commanding officer's private domain, he heard a faint rustling. He cast another questioning glance into the emptiness before him and followed the sound. What he then found set his positronic brain in a frenzy. Before him was a small boy – dressed in blue pajamas – who was staring at the android, startled and more than a little afraid. The little boy tried to crawl further into the corner, but of course, failed. How did he even get in here? Was Commander Riker playing hide-and-seek with this boy, and had he lost track of time? That might explain why the first officer couldn't be found. But Data also knew that Riker was very dutiful and lived for his work. So, where was he? Where had he been hiding?

But now he had another problem that piqued his interest. The boy in front of him. Slowly, Data knelt down, looked the boy up and down, and noticed some bruises adorning his body. When the boy suddenly began to tremble, Data assured him in a soothing voice that he wouldn't hurt him.

"Calm down, I will not hurt you. You do not have to be afraid of me. ...How did you even get in here?" Data assured the boy that he had nothing to be afraid of.

But the little boy continued to stare at him with wide, frightened eyes and didn't move. Not even for an inch. He had never seen anyone like Data before. There was something strange and fascinating about that white skin and those golden eyes, but it also seemed a bit disturbing to him.

"W-What... What are you?" asked a small, innocent voice.

"I am an android. Can you tell me your name?"

"B-Billy."

"Billy, then. A beautiful name. ...Well, Billy, you should not be in here. Even though the Commander has a soft spot for children, I am sure he wants his quarters back as usual. ...You did not break anything, did you?"

Billy just shook his head.

"That is good. Let me take you to your parents. They are probably wondering where you are and missing you."

At that, Billy looked away, looking even sadder and more scared than he already did. His trembling had also visibly increased, which Data noticed immediately.

"Are you all right, Billy? ...The way you look, a visit to the infirmary would not hurt. Dr. Crusher can certainly help with your bruises and will certainly be helpful in mediating between you and your parents. ...Everything will be okay." Data did his best to make Billy feel safe and that he could trust him. "You can trust me. You are safe with me. I would never harm you. ...I promise you!"

While Data held out his hand, Billy hesitated at first, but then he carefully took his outstretched hand and was amazed at how warm the android felt. Data's body heat felt even more pleasant than his father's. It truly gave him a feeling of concern, respect, and absolute security. ...Just as Data had said.

After Data took Billy by the hand and led him out of Commander Riker's quarters, he immediately headed in the direction of the nearest turbolift. On the way to sickbay, however, Billy became more and more nervous and, with every meter he covered, more afraid. Although Data was by his side and gave him a sense of security, he knew that the android couldn't always help him. So it was foreseeable that he would soon be alone again …as usual. So he took Data's hand in both hands and slowed her pace. When they finally reached the sickbay, Billy stopped and didn't dare take the last step. He lacked the courage and, of course, the fear that Data would leave him alone.

At first, Data looked at him questioningly, then got down to his eye level and tried to calm his fears: "What is wrong? ...You do not have to be afraid, Billy. I know there is a different world behind these doors for you, but everything is really fine. No one will hurt you. ...You are more than safe by my side, just like I promised you."

Billy, however, looked down at the ground and simply couldn't bring himself to voice his next fears. An unexpected heat rose within him, causing his eyes to begin to shine with moisture. The danger that he would burst into tears within seconds was quite high. When a single tear actually rolled down his cheek, the next ones followed, forming torrents.

Since Data had been dealing with the topic of comforting hugs for some time, he finally simply took the little boy in his arms and let him cry on his chest. No words were spoken, if only because Data didn't know what to say. He was somewhat awkward in this unfamiliar situation. Although he had had children in his care and spent time with them on one or two occasions, none of them had soaked his shirt with tears. While this hug was still ongoing and Billy simply couldn't calm down, he picked him up and took him to a quiet corner. Billy should calm down first, away from the prying eyes of the crew.

Once Billy had calmed down somewhat, Data asked if he was feeling a little better and was now able to go to sickbay. Although Billy shook his head no, he managed a meek "Yes." Due to the contradictory answer, Data picked Billy up again and carried him to sickbay.

The moment Data entered sickbay, he was immediately greeted by Nurse Alyssa Ogawa: "Commander Data, it's good to see you back in sickbay." After properly placing a medical device in its designated place, she turned to the boy in Data's arms, examining the odd bruise that was clearly visible. "And who is this handsome young man? ...It looks like you've overdone it with the gaming."

While Billy gazed into a deep, imaginary hole with sad eyes and a blank stare, Data stepped over to one of the biobeds and set the boy down.

"This is Billy. I found him in Commander Riker's quarters while searching for him. Before I return him to his parents, it would be appropriate and advisable to have his bruises removed."

"I understand. You want to spare him unnecessary trouble."

"Exactly. ...It is the least I can do for him."

"You would truly be a wonderful father, Data. It's still truly sad that you had to shut down and deactivate Lal. You truly missed the opportunity to truly embrace the role of a father. ...The boy is lucky that you took him by the hand." a female voice spoke from the background.

"Dr. Crusher. Good morning, and thank you for your kind words."

"Always welcome, Data." Dr. Beverly Crusher let him know, knowing she could happily repeat such words, and then turned to Billy. "And what about you? Do those bruises hurt?"

Billy looked up at her briefly, took Data's hand, and looked shyly at the ground.

"Billy? ...Billy, are you hurting?" Data asked him the question again and at some point received a barely noticeable shake of the head in response, "He does not seem to have any."

"That sounds good, but he should take off his shirt. I'm afraid these bruises aren't the only ones he has. ...Billy? I know you trust Data more than me, but in order to help you, I need your help. Could you do me a favor and take off your shirt? You have nothing to be ashamed of. I don't want to and won't hurt you. I promise you that." Dr. Crusher tried to gain Billy's trust and asked him a favor at the same time.

Billy looked up at her briefly, then turned his gaze to Data and silently screamed at him that he didn't want this. That he just wanted to get out of here and crawl into his bed where he could hide from the whole world. As Billy squeezed Data's hand as tightly as he could, the android tried again to reassure the boy and calm his fears. He told him that everything would be okay.

"Obviously, he does not trust me 100 percent yet, and it looks like he has trouble confiding in others. My guess is that he is very afraid of something."

"I see it that way too, and I already have a hunch where the problem lies." Crusher already had a vague idea why Billy was acting so dismissively, feeling a rising anger. "...Billy, how did you get these injuries? Did someone hurt you? ...No matter who it is, even if it was your parents, we can protect you. We can make sure it doesn't happen again. You're safe with Mr. Data and me. You're not alone."

"You think that Billy...?" Data picked up on Crusher's thoughts and was about to say them out loud, but the doctor immediately interrupted him.

"Yes, I think so, and since we have a serious personnel problem here, we should turn to Will first."

"I also think going to Riker is appropriate, but the commander is currently nowhere to be found. The computer located him in his quarters earlier, but instead of him, I found Billy there. Which is very strange..." Data felt this further course of action was correct and insisted on asking the computer once again about his whereabouts. "Computer, locate Commander Riker."

"Commander Riker is currently in sickbay." a female voice was heard shortly afterwards.

Dr. Crusher and Data initially looked at each other questioningly, and since the two of them, including Nurse Ogawa and the boy, were the only ones here at the moment, their gaze fell on Billy. Could it be that this boy was the first officer and their mutual friend, Commander William T. Riker? No, the thought was far too grotesque, but it wasn't far-fetched. After all, they had already experienced one or two unusual things. Even Captain Picard and three other crew members were transported back to their youth a few years ago. So why shouldn't one of them be transformed back into a toddler overnight? Still, the question remained: how could that have happened?

"Billy, can you please tell me your name? Billy is just a nickname your parents gave you, right?" Data followed their shared train of thought.

Billy nodded briefly and, in a shaky voice, gave his identity a name: "W-William, ...William Riker."

"I'll do a DNA comparison just to be on the safe side." Dr. Crusher realized that proof was urgently needed here, even though Billy looked like a much younger Commander Riker. "...I'm going to take a few drops of your blood, Billy. Don't worry, it won't hurt."

Shortly after Dr. Crusher took a small amount of Billy's red elixir of life, she compared the results with those of Commander Riker. The results came in less than half a minute later, and they clearly indicated that Billy was the missing first officer.