Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

“The plan is to stay alive.”

Mensah wishes she had more to say, but the stress of the past cycle was getting to her. DeltFall, the exploding beacon, (her hands inside SecUnit’s spine), the stress of not knowing what she would return to at the habitat in her delays, and her relief of returning to her team and one traumatised DeltFall survivor. 

It's all getting to her.

They needed to get out of the habitat to regather themselves and plan what to do next. Someone was after them and the habitat was the next obvious target. So here they all were, in the hopper as it sped over dirt and flora.

They are seated around the displays, whispering to each other, except for SecUnit in its usual standing position in the cargo pod. Leebeebee joined it, having her own (one-sided) whispered conversation.

She'd have liked for it to join them at the control panels, participating in the discussion like it did when she flew them to the beacon. Sharing its ideas and insight into what might be going on.

This whole thing was two wormhole jumps forward, one jump back.

“For how long?!” Pin-Lee, somehow managing to raise their voice while still whispering. They're scared for everyone and hiding it behind frustration, Mensah understands this all too well.

She's not sure how long they can keep this up, emotionally or physically. Bharadwaj is huddled against Gurathin, protecting her side where the creature had chewed her up. Even now, Mensah could see that she was still hiding a wince. How long would they be able to go without the MedSystem? Pin-Lee’s medication? How often did SecUnit need to charge? She’s never asked.

“I was hoping forever…but I would settle for about a month.” She tried going for the lighthearted approach, to rebuild some of the morale in her team and cheer herself up. “That's when the Company transport is due.”

Pin-Lee returns to a whisper. “Yeah, if they keep to the contract. If they're not in on it.”

“If it's not in on it.” Gurathin interjects before Mensah can respond, his head nodding in aggravation towards SecUnit's corner.

She sees the desperation in his eyes, the fear. The survey and repeated engagement with the company has been so hard on him. SecUnit’s presence especially had turned out to be a bigger trigger than expected, not helped by the situation in the habitat where it held him against the wall. It hurts watching him struggle and unravel as she acts the team leader and not his friend. She needs to resolve these frayed threads between the two to establish some teamwork to get them all through this. And to continue that conversation with SecUnit about hurting clients.

Mensah turns to him to take his hands, clutching them, warming her voice as much as possible, “It’s not in on it. I promise you.” His eyes are looking back at her pleadingly and she knows he doesn’t believe it but hopes he can still trust her, “I will be talking to it about this.”

“I’ll go talk to it!” Ratthi bounces up at the chance.

Mensah supposes he had been still for quite a bit of time, twisting his jewellery and fidgeting halfway between the divided sides of the hopper. The words are barely out of his mouth when he rushes over to SecUnit and Leebeebee, before she can explain that’s not what she meant and she lets a fond sigh slip out instead. Ratthi never can stand for social conflict.

She cannot hear what is being said between the three. SecUnit stands there solidly, Leebeebee with her hand against its chest and turning towards Ratthi. She thought it didn’t like to be touched, but perhaps it was more the circumstances of the situation than touch in general. She has a flash of it half collapsed on the table, multiple wounds, flinching away from her as it said Don’t touch, like the words were forced out of it.

Very different circumstances indeed.

Ratthi heads back towards them with a poorly hidden bounce in his step and a big smile that has her reflexively smile back in return. Leebeebee follows him and, to her pleased surprise, has SecUnit closely following in her shadow.

Leebeebee has been an unexpected but welcome turn of events. That out of all the horrors of their day at DeltFall, they found one lonely traumatised survivor. Some of her reactions had been unexpected, admittedly trauma treatment wasn’t any of their specialties, but Mensah couldn’t judge her too poorly when considering her own breaches of protocol under the stress of this survey.

Leebeebee seems to be recovering from the experience and stabilising, taking a huge shine to SecUnit and being much more open and social to it. It seemed to like her back, if the way it has been watching her was any indication.

“Sit, sit here with me please SecUnit.” Leebeebee grabs its arm and gently tugs it to the free seats near Arada. (Don’t touch, flashes again through her memory). She sees Ratthi drooping in disappointment out of the corner of her eye.

SecUnit follows Leebeebee to the long seat and lets her pull it down, landing with a thump and sitting in its stiff position with hands on its knees. Mensah wonders what it is like to sit as a construct, if how its anatomy is constructed makes it a difficult affair or if it is simply unused to lowering itself into a seated position?

It says nothing in its typical silence and turns its head towards Leebeebee. When she continues her conversation with it, it raises its eyes to watch her face. (I hate eye contact, says her memory of SecUnit on its knees looking up at her before looking away again). There’s one hand on its arm, absentmindedly rubbing up and down.

Leebeebee looks away from SecUnit and meets Mensah’s gaze. They lock for a moment then Leebeebee’s switch through several complicated expressions before landing on realisation.

“Oh! Um,” she's awkward as she pulls back from SecUnit and starts fussing at her hair before putting her hands in her lap, “Sorry, Bharadwaj was explaining to me…”

Bharadwaj shuffles behind her, getting up to sit next to Gurathin.

“She was telling me about how you don’t have work indentures on Preservation? And that your community looks after you and nobody is left behind and there’s no one hurting you there?” Her voice is speeding up, “I wanted to ask you, that is, if…well...and after DeltFall, when the SecUnits attacked… when they shot… they were suddenly shooting at us and…”

The faster Leebeebee’s recollections went the more she sniffed between breaths, turning around to SecUnit. “I mean not you, now that you’re rogue, I know you won’t shoot at me but what if they do something to you like they did to our SecUnits? I’m not part of your survey team or in your database so you won’t be able to protect me!” Her stumbling stuttering voice was raising tensions as Gurathin shot up straight and Arada leaned past Pin-Lee to reassure her, “Hey, hey it’s okay. It’s going to be okay.”

She needed to calm this down before it escalated more and Gurathin got involved. It constantly felt like she was on a ledge lately, balancing the two of them endlessly to keep the calm.

“Arada’s right, Leebeebee.” Gurathin scoffs behind her but she continues on determinedly. “SecUnit isn’t going to shoot you. It will look after us the same way it will look after everyone else on the team.”

She glanced back at Gurathin, he was sitting up straight and had wrapped his arms around himself, avoiding eye contact with her. This situation felt a lot like the one back at the habitat and that had strained the team and Gurathin's confidence in her as a team leader. She takes a breath and channels the soothing air feelings of SecUnit's show.

Some regret. So much for having this conversation in private with SecUnit but these concerns needed to be addressed before they spiraled any further. “SecUnit is going to promise me that it will look after you, and Gurathin, just as much as it would protect the rest of us. Just as much as it has protected me.” She finishes the statement gently, to ease any reprimand from being present in her voice.

SecUnit doesn’t say anything.

“SecUnit? Can you promise me?” Mensah looks at SecUnit, channeling her inner patient leader (which has unfortunately turned out to be very similar to her inner patient parent) and waits for it to work through its thoughts.

Leebeebee has put her hand back onto SecUnit’s arm, gripping it desperately. “Please SecUnit, it would mean so much to me. I know...I know you probably couldn’t change it if it happens and will shoot yourself or something, but if I know that deep down inside you had promised…”.

Mensah was going to ask Leebeebee to let it have a moment to think, but SecUnit had turned its head again to face Leebeebee, although its eyes flickered to Mensah occasionally and even paused for a moment. They seemed tighter than usual, its brows a little more furrowed. Feeling the tension in the hopper even if it did not understand.

It was unsettling to see it making such direct eye contact with someone without a threat present (she remembers how it and Gurathin had made eye contact when Gurathin was against the wall, then quickly dismisses that memory as in the process of being resolved).

“Yes, Dr. Mensah.” It says after a pause, quietly and reluctantly.

Maybe it did need Leebeebee’s type of forward encouragement, and she has been approaching it wrongly in their interactions?

Gurathin gives a choked off relieved sigh behind her that she’s sure he’ll deny to his dying days, while Leebeebee leans against SecUnit’s side and thanks it repeatedly for the promise.

Mensah feels an overwhelming sense of relief to have resolved at least one problem in her long long list of problems.

Chapter Text

The hopper has landed gently in a small clearing, expertly guided down by Mensah’s hands between the trees. The atmosphere is quiet but she thinks maybe less tense than it had been when they fled the habitat to regroup. Pin-Lee and Arada have been whispering to each other, Bharadwaj is pretty sure she heard Ratthi’s name mentioned but she also heard Pin-Lee talking about making a lawsuit. Hopefully not about Ratthi. She’s also pretty sure he heard his name mentioned too, from the way he is very casually leaning against the nearby hopper wall and fiddling with his feed device.

There’s sudden movement and she tenses before forcing herself to relax against Gurathin again. Its SecUnit standing up from where it was sitting with Leebeebee draped against it, announcing its intention to set a perimeter. It stood up a fraction too fast to ever be mistaken for a human, smooth, silent and startling Leebeebee who catches herself before falling over. “Hey!”

She goes unheard, SecUnit moving smoothly out the door and into the forest before anyone else can say anything to it. That was rude even for SecUnit.

Sometimes she doesn’t know what to think of it. Mostly she’s very thankful that it saved her and got Arada to safety. She didn’t remember much of her time in the creature’s mouth, fortunately, but she had sudden bursts of panic without reason and kept smelling it in the air. She wasn’t quite healed up either, MedSystem did its best and the stimulants even better, but they didn’t quite cover up the tightness of newly healed skin.

Bharadwaj doesn’t understand it though. She wants to understand it. The way it says things suddenly, without warning, then clams up into silence. How after all of Gurathin’s concerns about it malfunctioning, the broken governor module, they reviewed its logs only to find they were overwhelmingly dominated by Sanctuary Moon and other media. Not what she would have expected in a creature fighting construct’s mind.

When she and Gurathin were arguing over what its media could mean, Gurathin told her that he had asked it what it was like to be a SecUnit. It had told him that it didn’t know.

Bharadwaj wonders what it is like to be a SecUnit.

“Let’s leave it.” Gurathin, unable to let anything go even after Mensah coaxed SecUnit to promise to protect him. She loved him, he was a great pillow, but sometimes his stubbornness frustrated her to the end of the planet.

“Gurathin!” She admonishes, “Compassion.”

Gurathin makes a disgusted noise but she sees him nod. Possibly pouting. It was hard to tell while lying down and resting on him.

“Plus, we kinda need it. We’ll be defenceless without it.” Arada joins her in SecUnit’s defence,

“I hope it’s okay on its own, what if something happens to it? “We can’t just abandon it, it’s helped us so much. If anything we should join hands with it.”

“Join hands?”

She’s ashamed to admit she had forgotten about the DeltFall victim and rushes to explain. “Join hands, Leebeebee. In Preservation, when we have tensions that aren’t being solved in conventional ways we join hands and talk about it.”

Leebeebee looks across at her doubtfully. Gurathin had much the same expression the first time she explained it to him and, a quick glance up at him, an expression he holds now. She gently elbows him to give him a hint as she gets herself upright.

“You’ll like it, you seem very…” Leebeebee is leaning towards her, eyes open wide and hopeful. Bharadwaj keeps her gaze determinedly on Leebeebee’s curious face and not on her fully unzipped shirt, or the lack of bra she now realises isn’t present. “...physically affectionate.” She ends.

“Oh, yes.” Leebeebee nods enthusiastically, “I love being able to bond with people. That sounds like a great way to talk about things. So you hold hands?”

Bharadwaj smiles at her, she hopes Preservation is sounding tempting to Leebeebee. After all this, they can hopefully get her out of her indenture and apply for status as a refugee. Show her, and SecUnit, the kind of freedoms they don’t even know they have been missing out on.

“Yes, we hold hands in a circle and we talk about what has been bothering us. Then we come to a consensus on where we will go from there.”

“Do you think SecUnit would hold hands with me?” Leebeebee asks her eagerly. 

“It won’t hold hands with anyone.” Gurathin tried to cut the conversation short but Ratthi wasn’t going to let him stop his favourite topic of gaining SecUnit’s friendship.

“That’s because it doesn’t like you. If we give it a chance it might hold hands with one of us!”

“It’s not going to hold hands.” Gurathin repeats.

“It will!” Sometimes Bharadwaj wonders about the maturity of her colleagues as Ratthi raises his arms. “Let us talk, thank you human for introducing me to your customs.” What was that imitation? Bharadwaj was so blindsided by a combination of horror and hilarity that she missed more sniping between Gurathin and Ratthi.

“I think it will hold my hand.” Leebeebee seems shy, twirling her hair again and looking down at her feet.

Ratthi apparently feels a bit competitive with her to. “I think it should hold my hand.”

“You won’t hold my hand?” Arada asks. “I thought you could hold my hand and I could hold Pin-Lee’s?”

“I don’t want to hold SecUnit’s hand.” Pin-Lee blinked.

“I wasn’t going to make you babe.” Arada assures them.

“Nobody is holding SecUnit’s hand unless it agrees to it.” Mensah gives a loud sigh from where she’s leaning against a structural support. “I’m going to keep an eye out for its return. We really shouldn’t be separating from each other without a way to get in touch. Please stay in here and start a different conversation. We can work out what to do next when it’s back.”

Mensah shakes her head as she walks out of the hopper. Bharadwaj is tempted to follow her, but Pin-Lee speaks up and she gets so distracted by the change in topic she forgets to move.

“Urgh she’s so hot.”

“Hot?” Gurathin twisted around to look at them. “You think Ayda’s hot?”

Pin-Lee shrugged, “Not as hot as Arada but yeah, she’s hot.”

“Aww thanks babe. You’re hot too.” Bharadwaj has to agree with Arada. Pin-Lee is very hot, and they have been so kind about the romantic feeling misunderstanding too.

“I think you’re both hot.” Ratthi smiles at them, a quick flash of teeth. “Everyone here is hot, even Gugu.” He gives a cheeky wag of his eyebrows at Gurathin, who scoffs and ducks his head but Bharadwaj can see a small smile curling the corner of his face. The trick with Gurathin has been to keep him included with no expectations and she loves seeing him enjoy the moments.

“I think SecUnit is hot.” Leebeebee tentatively joins the conversation and Gurathin’s smile twists into disgust.

“It’s not hot.” He mutters.

Ratthi is going to strain her patience as much as Gurathin is. And unlike Gurathin, who wasn’t raised on Preservation, he should know better. “I mean, it kinda is.” Ratthi shrugs apologetically.

“Yeah.” Arada and Pin-Lee nod in sync.

Leebeebee looks to be emboldened by their agreement. “It’s got those big wide eyes and is so expressive and kind. Um. It seems really nice and like a very good person.” Bharadwaj appreciates that Leebeebee has remembered their conversation and is keeping it appropriate. “I’ve been thinking about what you said and you don’t need to attach a penis to it for it to be hot.” That’s not what she meant.

“That’s not what I meant.” Bharadwaj quickly says to Leebeebee. "That's not what I meant at all."

“Um yeah I mean like. It’s hot without a penis and you don’t need to program it to fuck. Or give it vibrating balls or titties or whatever.” Bharadwaj exchanges a very awkward look with a horrified Gurathin. What? “It can be hot any way it wants to be. Its got a mouth and fingers, I bet it can be very creative with how it uses them and its so strong it could hold you up while you fuck it. Probably go for hours and hours without stopping. You know. If that’s what it wanted. You know.”

“Leebeebee, honey.” Bharadwaj was not prepared to have this conversation a second time. “When I said we don’t talk about constructs that way I more meant…” She’s struggling to picture what she meant under the onslaught of images and the very uncomfortable emotions she was feeling right now. “It’s not just constructs, in Preservation we don’t talk about people like this. Not without their consent.”

Gurathin had issues with consent and boundaries when he first arrived, but Bharadwaj doesn’t recall him ever having difficulty with this topic. She glances at him and he gives an aggravated shrug back at her. Pin-Lee and Ratthi have very similar twisted expressions while Arada is more concerned in the way Bharadwaj suspects her own face is.

“Oh!” Leebeebee laughs, “I’m sorry I know what you mean now. You must think I’m so silly. No don’t worry, I talked to SecUnit and its fine with me actually! I mean, it probably wouldn’t want me to put a penis or install the ComfortUnit behaviour expansion deluxe module in it or anything but it wasn’t upset!”

Bharadwaj didn’t find this reassuring. This entire topic was incredibly uncomfortable and she’s glad SecUnit wasn’t here to witness with it.

“Well, this topic is horrifying. I’m going to go see if our rogue equipment is back.” Gurathin shuts down the conversation by standing up and walking through them all to exit the hopper. Which is a good idea, so Bharadwaj follows him.

Mensah is outside talking to SecUnit and Bharadwaj winces. She hopes it didn’t hear the conversations in the hopper. She’s not super clear on just how far it can hear.

As they reach them it becomes evident that Mensah has been discussing their situation and what to do about the potential saboteurs. They seem to have come to an agreement on their next steps and Bharadwaj is relieved that she wasn’t involved in conversations about their stressful situation. Gurathin tries to shoulder past SecUnit to Mensah but it is so solid he is forced to stumble back and then around. Not quite over its presence then, despite its promise to Mensah.

SecUnit doesn’t respond to the attempt, its helmet raised as it stands there. Bharadwaj is glad one of them is being mature about the dispute. Now.

“Wait, Ratthi!” Arada is yelling as Ratthi comes rushing out of the hopper towards them. “Ratthi we should be planning!”

“No, we should talk about it and get it in the open or none of our plans will work!” Ratthi is worked up again, Arada and Pin-Lee following him while Leebeebee follows along a little behind looking amused.

Ratthi marches right up to SecUnit’s chest and blurts out, “Gurathin wants us to leave you. But I don’t want to cause you’re our team mate. And you should know that. So we can talk about it.”

“Ratthi!” Pin-Lee this time, they’re moving between Ratthi and SecUnit to give it some space. “Stop rushing SecUnit! It doesn’t want to be on our team!” They hesitate before turning back to SecUnit, “Do you?”

SecUnit is silent and turns its head away to look out at the forest. Bharadwaj wonders if its thinking of leaving them and experiences a sudden stab of anxiety at the thought of it leaving.

“What’s with this?” Pin-Lee takes Ratthi’s place in approaching SecUnit. “Why do you turn away? Can you show us your face please? You’re very hard to read.”

“You don’t need to look at me. I’m not-.” SecUnit cuts itself off and turns another fraction towards the trees. It’s not a what?

Gurathin snorts, “No governor module but looking at you is torture?”

“I have guns in my arms.” SecUnit doesn’t address his question. Bharadwaj isn’t sure if its stating a fact or threatening them, but it hasn’t hurt any of them yet so its easy enough to go with the optimistic view that it was stating a (threatening) fact.

“Okay. Okay.” Pin-Lee turns back to hold a hand out to Ratthi. “Ratthi wants to talk about this so.” They wag a hand at Ratthi who lights up like he received new recognition for his research.

“I’m not holding hands.” SecUnit states.

Gurathin’s victorious “Hah!” is buried underneath Bharadwaj’s horrified “You heard us?”

She wonders if she’s imagining the affront in its voice. “I’m a highly advanced piece of technology. I hear everything.”

“Well now I want to talk it out.” Pin-Lee demands. “Lets circle.”

SecUnit looks away as they loosely circle around it.

Bharadwaj intentionally keeps the side it is on, the side towards the forest, open for it. She’s keenly aware of that time Gurathin confided that the circle made him feel trapped at first. But now she looks at him and sees him reluctantly holding hands between Mensah and Ratthi, participating in the circle.

Although perhaps he just grabbed each their hands so he didn’t end up holding SecUnit’s hand. That would be a sight.

Leebeebee was hovering outside of the circle at first then seems to gather her confidence to be involved, walking around to clumsily grab SecUnit’s hand and tug it towards them.

Bharadwaj struggles to hold a slight frown at this. In Preservation, the expectation is to offer a hand then let the recipient broach the gap. SecUnit seemed to be responding positively to Leebeebee’s approach but it was essential in Preservation to allow an opt out. Especially with a circle.

Leebeebee tugs some more at SecUnit’s hand and Bharadwaj was about to call this off, she thinks Mensah might have been about to too, when SecUnit slowly turns its head back to Leebeebee then follows her.

She is very excited to be participating in her first Preservation activity and she tells SecUnit about how important it is as she physically nudges it to stand in place in the circle. Leebeebee then takes its hand and Bharadwaj’s and clasps them together. “Bharadwaj explained how the circle works to me so you should hold her hand!”

She can’t feel any warmth from it through the thick barrier its gloves make between them.

SecUnit turns its head to look at Leebeebee as she almost skips to its other side and grabs its hand. Mensah is on the other side of Leebeebee while Bharadwaj’s other hand is in Pin-Lees. Their hand is so warm compared to SecUnit’s gloved hand. She thinks she can still smell the creatures blood on it.

“SecUnit…” Leebeebee is looking up pleadingly into SecUnit’s helmet. “Take your helmet off please. I need to see your face.” She has taken on a breathy voice and seems to be clenching her hand around SecUnit’s in encouragement.

SecUnit is silent but its helmet lowers. It is looking down at Leebeebee as it indulges her, a slight frown on its face. Not thrilled to be in the circle.

Mensah clears her throat and Leebeebee startles. “Well then, we should start. Let’s talk about this-”

“I hear something.” SecUnit interrupts her.

“SecUnit, the circle is important.” Bharadwaj explains to it, “Once it has started we should-”

“There’s something coming.” SecUnit interrupts again.

Abruptly Bharadwaj remembers the last time she didn’t listen to SecUnit and the next thing she knows she’s in the hopper, everyone else falling in behind her as one of those creatures with its mouth wide open bursts out of the sand and over the hopper.

She braces herself against Mensah and Gurathin, trying to take deep breaths but all she can think about is being shaken around and the pain. It’s on the roof and it feels like it is after her specifically.

Bharadwaj’s legs give out beneath her and she collapses onto the seat, dragging Gurathin down.

Looking around for anything to protect herself with, Bharadwaj sees another one incoming and the next thing she registers it it on the roof fighting the first creature.

SecUnit is patrolling back and forth between windows keeping its eyes on the creatures. This provides some comfort, the other being her death grip on Gurathin’s hands but she finds herself unable to let go.

“They’re fucking!” The statement is so bizarre she drops one of Gurathin’s hands to stare at Leebeebee. “Leebeebee!” She hisses. “Not the time!”

“No.” Arada is looking up, her face turning delighted. “She’s right. They’re not fighting.”

Bharadwaj doesn’t feel delighted, just vaguely nauseous.

“I could electrify the hull.” SecUnit has responded to Gurathin’s question to get rid of them. Arada objects immediately.

“Well, maybe they’d like that.” Bharadwaj very reluctantly looks at Leebeebee. She’s sitting opposite to her and is almost swinging her legs. “Maybe they’d like a bit of electrical play, just give them some zap zap zap and help get them off. Zap. Zap. Zap zap zap. Like that.” She holds her fist out in front of her and makes a generic grabbing gesture, maybe intended to represent receiving a shock?

SecUnit flinches at each imitation of zapping the creatures. It dawns on Bharadwaj that it’s probably thinking of the similarities to its governor module and she hurriedly agrees with Arada to wait out the creatures without electrifying them.

Eventually the creatures leave but before she can even register the eggs they had left behind, SecUnit is on the ground and they are being shot at by another SecUnit  

Bharadwaj panics.

She crouches, huddled under the ramp while SecUnit is tossed around by another SecUnit. So much is happening so fast, she only has time to throw one rock (did she hit SecUnit?) and then the creature is back and all she can do is scream and scream.

Then.

The creature eats the other SecUnit, takes its eggs and leaves.

Bharadwaj doesn’t know what to think. Her heart is hammering in her chest and she feels very weak all of a sudden. Ratthi walks over to offer SecUnit a hug, stopping at an acceptable distance to let it broach the final distance. It doesn’t.

Leebeebee rushes past Ratthi to grip it tightly around the waist, thanking it over and over but it doesn’t respond to that either and stands there. Bharadwaj wants to take Leebeebee to the side and explain Preservation protocol and boundaries to her, the importance of making sure you give people the space and time to respond back to you, but her head is feeling a bit fuzzy now. 

She follows Mensah back into the hopper.

Mensah shares the plan she had come up with SecUnit. Gurathin complains about it, but eventually agrees that they should return to the habitat. Bharadwaj would really like to get back to the habitat. All she can smell is the creatures and she desperately wants a shower.

Bharadwaj suspects she might be in shock.

She tunes back in as the hopper is in the air. Leebeebee has talked SecUnit into keeping its helmet down and sitting next to her. She’s leaning against and telling it how amazing it is as she runs her hands over the burns in its armour from the other SecUnit’s energy bursts. Hero worship is hitting her hard but SecUnit doesn’t seem to mind  

Bharadwaj has to agree, SecUnit is pretty amazing to be able to fight off that SecUnit. And that creature that attacked her before. Has anyone ever told SecUnit this before? 

“What if it had attacked you while you were on your own?” Leebeebee frets. “We wouldn’t have been able to find you or get in contact with you!”

SecUnit is silent, although it has turned its head to look at Leebeebee while she fusses over it. Bharadwaj wonders what metric of trust you have to meet for it to look at you. Wonders how Leebeebee got to that stage.

“It’s a good point.” Mensah agrees. “If that unit had attacked attacked SecUnit while it was on its own checking the perimeter, we’d have no idea what situation we would be in. How would we even hear you?”

“We have our feed devices.” Gurathin reluctantly joins the conversation, probably divided between helping Mensah and ignoring any topics that contain SecUnit. “We also have the trackers. They were for any cave surveys so they could work for this. They’re durable. And back at the habitat.”

“Thank you Gurathin.” Mensah smiles warmly at him. “I also don’t want any more perimeter searches or walks on our own. If you must leave the habitat, you must find someone available to go with you or stay in the habitat.”

Leebeebee interrupts her eagerly, leaping at the chance to spend time with SecUnit, “That’s a great idea! I’ll buddy up with you SecUnit!” She clutches at its arms in excitement.

“SecUnit.” Mensah pauses, “Am I clear?”

SecUnit’s eyes flick around them then land on Mensah. Its mouth seems to tighten as it stares at her and the silence draws out, before smoothing out and turning to the floor.

“Yes, Dr. Mensah.”

Chapter Text

The planetary commune team are slowly driving me nuts.

All cycle they have been following me around, asking me about my life and trying to encourage me to try out more of their ridiculous overly-emotional customs. I can’t ever get some time to myself to try and collect data on what their survey has discovered, or to work on their SecUnit’s compliance priorities.

I grit my teeth and twist it into a smile as their overly sensitive geochemist showed me more of her Preservation Alliance propaganda. She has fallen hard for the ‘helpless survivor who just wants to settle down in safety and have a baby’ persona, so now I am locked into this and can’t change it up too much without arousing suspicion.

It lets me join in on their fucked up rogue-SecUnit roleplay at least. It’s absolutely bizarre.

Since returning from their panicked flight into the forest to ‘plan’, I have watched their wormhole specialist approach the SecUnit multiple times in an attempt to get it to engage with him only to be rejected. I don’t understand why he wouldn’t just order a response, but it’s clearly some kind of game going on with him to be rejected. If he’s changed its settings to reject him in these moments, I could use that to my advantage later if I get the SecUnit’s junky behaviour module to corrupt in on itself.

The augmented freak pokes at it the most. I suspect he’s been using it in a similar way to me, although he’s much more tentative about it and still treats it a bit too much like a person to get any interesting results. He tries to get it to argue with him. It does respond partially to him, but it’s pretty obviously just mirroring whatever topic he raises and not taking any initiative in raising topics of its own. Cheap custom modules, they should have paid out more if they wanted believable reactions.

I’m pretty sure he’s the one that has coded the SecUnit to refer to its sensors as ‘pain’ sensors.

Their soft-hearted leader occasionally takes the SecUnit away to ‘talk’ to it. She doesn’t require any responses and seems to use it as a sounding board, which is the most appropriate treatment I’ve seen of it outside of its security function. I listened in for a bit in hopes of learning about the survey data but she was just talking about her children and partners. It was so painful I voluntarily asked Bharadwaj to tell me more about their polity’s pet bots. She is under the impression that I wish to settle down there with the SecUnit and get artificially inseminated.

I can’t believe that she believes that and it makes me feel like I am going nuts.

The SecUnit is currently attempting to leave the habitat to perform its duties and patrol the perimeter, while the biologist's spouse does the roleplay routine of pretending that it is a person they can argue and negotiate with.

I abruptly decide I need to get a break from these people and that the SecUnit’s patrol is my best chance at it. I might even be able to get some more cracks in its programming or find out something about the survey. It is a walking surveillance machine, it has to have something.

Taking a breath, I dramatically sway my hips as I walk over and grab the SecUnit’s stiff arm and lean against it. It doesn’t move away and slowly turns its head to look down at me. It is satisfying to see the new neural code in its learning system responding and recognising my place in its compliance hierarchy.

“Don’t worry!” I offer a nervous looking smile. A little too nervous, so I soften it into a nervous-excited look, “I can join Seccy and keep it safe!”

I chok on that. I had been trying to forget they had named the SecUnit, and with such a childish name.

The unnecessary member of Preservation looks unsure, glancing between me and the SecUnit. “If you’re sure, SecUnit?”

I haven’t seen what their game with the SecUnit is yet, if they even have a game. I’m beginning to suspect that they’re humouring the others in the rogue-SecUnit game but is otherwise only interested in their biologist spouse. This makes them my favourite despite their uselessness.

I play along harder, “SecUnit doesn’t mind! Do you?” I direct at the SecUnit. I wonder if it will respond or remain in its default state?

The SecUnit doesn’t respond.

This is disappointing.

“Okay then,” They nod slowly at me but they don’t look pleased, “I won’t keep you two then. Don’t forget to take your feed device or you’ll freak Arada out.”

“Of course, of course! I’ve got it with me!” I say, as I start rushing out the door and tugging the SecUnit along. It is slow to respond, but a harder tug gets it moving and I can finally leave the hippies behind.

L B B

After I departed the habitat, the SecUnit moved into a default patrol pattern around the boundaries so I followed it. I wanted to observe its patterns, compare where it differed to the GrayCris units, but mostly I wanted to gather my thoughts without interruptions so I could plan my next steps.

The rendezvous with my team will be tomorrow, but I will not be on the team going to it. They will be taking their fucked up SecUnit with them but we had three SecUnits left after the forest ambush. Odds are pretty good that if there’s a fight, my team would win and I could get out of this stupid situation with these incompetent fools. But on the chance that there was no fight, or they got lucky, it would be best to continue to maintain my cover until I could get the data or disable the SecUnit enough to force them to hand it over.

The SecUnit is repeating its boundary patrol precisely without any variation. I thought I could use some variation on this walk and I want to see where it is with its compliance to me now that it's highest priority client has ordered it to regard me as a client too.

“SecUnit.” I stop walking and say it in a neutral voice without any of my acting.

It continues walking for a few steps before it twitches, almost a full body shudder, and slows down before halting entirely. I expect it received a governor module punishment for the slow response. I frown when it does not turn to face me and stands facing away, the shoulders almost appearing hunched.

I switch up my voice back into ‘idiot with a crush on a stupid robot’ and I leave the perimeter path “SecUnit! Come look at this!” I walk over to stand at some foliage that looks like every other foliage on this awful planet.

The SecUnit is slow to respond, but it does and turns to walk over. Its head is oriented to the ground as it works through its programming but after halting in front of me it slowly raises its head and makes eye contact.

The eyes are flat looking as usual, the mouth closed grimly and its brows tense. None of the expressions from the cycle before, or the twitches from the hopper ride. A default program then.

I wave my hand at the foliage, “Seccy, would you mind picking a flower? For me?” I’m not sure if any of the foliage counts as a flower but that’s what SecUnits and their databases are for.

It flicks its eyes away then back at me, before moving into the foliage and scanning the ground. I watch as it mechanically picks its way through its options, eventually reaching down to remove a part of the brightly coloured flora. It returns to its spot in front of me, raising its head a little faster than previously to lock gazes, and presents its finding.

I guess it’s a flower. I’ve never seen a flower before. It’s kind of ugly. I keep my shudder inside and wind it into my hair behind my ear.

“Thank you, I love it!” I hate it, it is rubbing against my face. “Can you get me another one? In the same colour?”

The SecUnit returns to the foliage, performing the task faster this time and presents me with another of the ‘flowers’. I suppose when I return to the habitat, I can ask one of the scientists if it did ‘gift’ me a flower or just some weed. It would bolster their assumptions about my crush and relationship with their pet.

“Lower your head.” That was too forceful and I cover it up with a laugh. “Please?”.

Its mouth seems to tighten as it slowly bows to me.

I place the new flower behind its ear, mirroring my own. It takes some yanking of its ear, but I eventually manage to tear between the layers of synthetic skin and jam it into place.

It doesn’t look too bad like this.

Head bowed as its eyes remain fixed on mine, and creating a rather pathetic image for a budget murder machine. The flower slightly bruised and torn with a smear of it on the SecUnit’s face.

“Smile.”

The SecUnit’s program has frozen again as it stares up at me, the brow furrowing as its mouth opens. “I don’t-”

“Smile.”

I’ve had enough of listening to people talk to me today, I don’t want to hear it from a SecUnit’s stupid behaviour module too.

I reluctantly soften the command with a smile of my own and try to make myself more approachable to its parameters, “Please, I’d love to see your smile.”

SecUnits aren’t made for social programming. Watching it struggle against its default settings to perform the broken code is a lot like when you kick a trolley bot over and it has to right itself.

It gives that full body twitch of a governor module application and twists its frown into a grimace. It looks awful, incredibly unnatural and almost pained. I wonder if it even has the musculature under its face to perform a proper smile? Certainly nothing as sweet or as welcoming as a ComfortUnit smile.

“That’s a cute smile Seccy.” Bad enough I have to keep acting the idiot for its surveillance, now I’m complimenting their machine. “Hold my hand.”

Its hand shoots forward and grasps mine so quickly I almost take a step back in reflex. That’s the fastest response I’ve gotten from it yet, and a hopeful indication that I'm working my way into its coding.

I decide to give its neural code some positive feedback for being so responsive. “Thank you, you don’t have to smile for me if it makes you feel weird. I appreciate that you tried.” I brush my lips across its cheek as a gesture of affection.

The SecUnit’s twisted grimace instantly drops back into its flat default state, only a slight furrowing of the brows and its tightly closed mouth remaining.

L B B

I lead the SecUnit by hand out of the perimeter to a more open area away from the habitat. I want to see what kind of firepower I’m working with here and I need the right kind of location without the hippies interrupting me.

The only threats to me out here are the planet’s creatures, but I’m not concerned with the survey team’s SecUnit following me. Plus if I should return and my team has wiped them all out while we are away, that would solve one problem.

I halt near a reasonably flat rock and let go of the SecUnit.

“Lift me up on to this.” I say. I could step onto this myself, but that would defeat the purpose of building the SecUnit’s neural codes and custom module to respond to me.

Its hands hover around my waist before slowly tightening around me, lifting me up into the air before stepping forward and placing me onto the surface. I’m now level with its head, which is a much better angle than in the repair cubicle with it where I still couldn’t get a good look at its head.

“Give me your hand again.” I tell it, taking the offered hand and pulling its arm over my shoulder as I turn and press my back into its front.

This could almost be comfortable, secure, if not for the hard armour digging into me and preventing me from exploring more of its odd synthetic body. It remains still, and I try to remember if I’m meant to be able to feel a SecUnit breathing or if it is holding its breath to avoid disturbing me.

I wrestle with its arm, instructing it to hold it stiff and straight but remain responsive to where I move It. I point the arm into the air. “Fire.”

“Leebeebee, this is a violation of security priority and I-”

“Mute. Fire.” I was getting tired of entertaining its stupid module, how did the hippies play this out every cycle? They had to have another set of rules for it to follow when they didn’t want to play their game and I was getting frustrated enough to experiment around and find it. Hopefully nobody would be looking at the SecUnit’s recordings with me until long after they were dead.

The SecUnit’s body flinched when I told it to mute, its governor module likely applying a punishment. The air warmed slightly next to my face as its energy pulse lit up then fired into the sky.

I repeat this some more times, moving the SecUnit’s arms and having it fire into the sky at varying strength and brightness. Once I got the hang of it, I switched to aiming at some of the foliage and rocks. Its destructive power isn’t too high, mostly turning rocks into a rain of pebbles or foliage into smouldering debris.

I move its arm around for a new target, some flying creature, but when I tell it to fire it lights up and stalls.

“Fire.” I tell it. The SecUnit seems to be leaning backwards and away from me. “Why won’t you fire? Gunport jammed?”

“Dr. Arada does not like having creatures hurt.” The SecUnit reports to me.

I’m in disbelief that they would install gun inhibitors when surveying a planet. How naive are these people? Are they trying to get themselves killed?

“If it attacks me, will you stop it?” I’m concerned now and wondering if I should head back to the habitat as the cycle is getting dark and I’m stuck with their defective module hacked SecUnit that can’t even shoot one flying creature.

The SecUnit remained silent.

I’m about to repeat my question, with a more clear demand for an answer, when the feed device the spare spouse gave me starts pinging with a “Hello? SecUnit? Leebeebee?” It is their emotional partner on the other end, asking if I am okay.

“I’m,” I pause, remembering that the SecUnit counts to these people, “We’re fine. Is everything okay at the habitat?”

“Yes we’re all okay here but we heard shooting? We waited until it was quiet to contact you. Has the other team attacked? How are you feeling?” Her voice is overly concerned and cautious. The biologist doesn’t trust my emotional state and is always treating me like I’m about to fall apart. It’s useful, but my skin crawls.

I laugh, “Oh no sorry for scaring you! We’re not shooting anything. Seccy was just showing me how big and strong its gun are! I’m feeling much safer!”

She is silent on the feed before asking, “SecUnit?” I am hit with an instant rage that she would trust her stupid machine over a traumatised human survivor and I flip around to grip the SecUnit’s free ear and yank its head down to stare into its eyes. SecUnits are stupid, but they have some sentience and it should be more than capable of understanding the silent message to back me up. Especially after all the work I’ve been putting into its eye contact neural code.

The SecUnit stares back.

“SecUnit? Are you there?” The stupid woman speaks up again.

“Yes, Dr. Arada.” The SecUnit finally responds.

“Are you okay? Do you guys need help?”

“No, Dr. Arada. We are…” The SecUnit’s eyes flick away from mine for a second, as I twist its ear and nod approval at it. “We are okay.”

A flicker of warmth in my stomach, satisfaction. The SecUnit is just repeating what I have already told the biologist rather than providing its own report of activities. Not that anything we have done warrants extra scrutiny, but it burns that I have to be backed up by their stupid toy.

“Oh, well, that’s good to hear. I’m glad you’re both okay.” She frets over the feed at us and I hold back a sigh she would probably here, “Don’t be too much longer? The cycle will get dark soon and Gurathin has finished starting up the trackers for everyone.”

“Oh no you’re right, it will be dark soon!” I mimic her fretting back at her, “We were having so much fun talking that I lost track of time! We’ll be back soon for sure!”

She seems to be much more settled now that I had reflected her emotions back to her and closed out her feed connection with me.

I figure if any recording by the SecUnit is going to be reviewed, it will probably be this, so I should give them something else to think about.

I lean forward and wrap my arms around its neck then press my lips against its mouth. “Thank you Seccy, I really didn’t want to get in trouble with your leader.” Its body twitches beneath me as I open my mouth wider around it.

I’m suddenly curious about what it would be like to kiss it, but its mouth is remaining tightly shut and it doesn’t understand as I lick against it and try to encourage it to open. I can’t very well tell it to open its mouth, and there’s no convenient gap in its skin for me to reach in and grab a bunch of wires to jerk.

They really should have included some ComfortUnit modules when installing its behaviour module.

I bring one of my hands around and try pressing it into its mouth like the cycle before, but it doesn’t understand me and remains firmly closed. I am reluctant to damage its face with my nails without the repair cubicle near, the survey team might insist on questioning that as part of their rogue-roleplay and I’m not sure I can handle anymore faux concern.

If it had ComfortUnit modules, I wouldn’t have to be as creative when unlocking the right responses and I think I would miss that. It does make for an engaging puzzle.

I move my hand to cup it tightly over the SecUnit’s nose.

It does not take long, far faster than a human or ComfortUnit, before its programming opens it mouth to start taking breaths. I wonder if ComfortUnits have better lung capacity than SecUnits? They’re more likely to be used in activities with low oxygen input than a surveillance system.

I press my lips back over its mouth and force my tongue in, exploring its interior. I think this felt better on my fingers, especially with the vibrations from its mechanical failure whine. As a parody of a kiss, without the lubricant of a ComfortUnit, it’s all a bit try and dull. Its tongue remains flat, the inside of its mouth firm and no substantial difference in temperature from the outside of its face.

It’s marginally unpleasant.

I press my hand down harder on its nose while I continue the kissing-parody, so that I can see its face. Its gaining a similar expression to the cycle before, the eyes widening and looking tight despite the slackness of its mouth under mine. I can feel its head trying to lean backwards from my face, stopped by my other hand.

The SecUnit is trying to take in breaths of air through my mouth.

That is an interesting sensation and almost pleasant.

I suck in a breath from its lungs and it instantly goes rigid. Its arms raise either side of me, the gunports lit, and hover for a few seconds as I stare at its glazing eyes before slowly lowering back down.

It is taking more frequent breaths from my mouth, but I suck each one back and exhale through my nose. It doesn’t have the same strength of lungs as me which is a fascinating discovery.

The arms have come up again and are frozen, hovering around my shoulders. I’m not sure if it is intending to push me away as part of some survival programming then stalled when its registered I’m a client, or if some other neural code is trying to function.

I am staring into its eyes as they flicker back and forth between me and the environment, so wide I can see all the whites and I almost imagine I can see the camera lenses in them.

Its mouth is moving under mine, probably trying to say something about warranty violations but I suck in another breath from its lungs and watch as it slowly starts to slump forwards into me.

The arms are lowering again and the slightest resistance of it leaning back fades as it folds forwards to me. I think it has gone offline or shutdown, so I push it backwards and watch as it topples onto the ground. It doesn’t move, its eyes open and staring to the sky with its mouth ajar and that ugly frayed flower jammed into the side of its head.

Look at that.

I think I disabled their SecUnit and it didn’t even require any combat overrides.

I wait for it to reboot but get impatient after a minute and jump down onto it. The SecUnit’s body is dense and doesn’t feel that different from standing on the rock. I carefully walk up to its chest and look down.

No movement from its face, not even the twitch of a governor module activation. The SecUnit is fully offline.

I want to stomp on its face until it reboots but that would be noticed for sure and I really don’t want to listen to another one of Bharadwaj’s lectures. I heard the compassion one she gave the creepy augment after he was short with the SecUnit in her hearing. I don’t want to imagine what she would say if I smashed its face in.

I kneel down and straddle its chest instead. There is no more resistance in this state and I am finally able to get a good look at it. It’s lost some of the tension around its eyes, although they were still wide when it finally shut down. It’s features aren’t that bad and I can see some of the appeal if it was to be repurposed as a ComfortUnit, fulfilling some niche interests. I tilt its head around, admiring the way the flower stem is trapped between synthetic skin layers and the self-closing veins around it.

Using my fingers, I pry its mouth open some more and look down. Aside from the tongue and throat, it’s relatively featureless inside and doesn’t contain any features similar to a ComfortUnit.

I spit in its mouth and watch it sit there on its tongue before slowly sliding down. I wonder if I could drown it with a bottle of water while it’s like this. How much water would it even take? I spit again.

Not a twitch from the SecUnit.

Dropping a pebble in doesn’t garner a reaction either, so I stand up and dust myself off while I consider the situation.

The cycle is starting to darken. If the SecUnit remains offline, I can either wait here with it until the survey team starts pinging the feed or I can ping them first. Neither are ideal, although I think I could swing a good story about it suddenly shutting down while we’re being intimate. But I don’t know what the SecUnit will say if they start asking it about why it was offline. Too many questions of the SecUnit could lead to deeper questions about me and...they’re naive idiots but nobody is that stupid. I let myself get carried away.

I sigh as I pace around the stupid machinery.

The stupid thing looks like a corpse, laying motionless with the fallen dust lightly coating its face and the crumpled flower behind its ear.

I aim carefully and kick it just behind the flower, flinging its head to the side.

No response, so I use my foot to straighten its head out and repeat the kick. The flower’s petals scatter and it smears across the side of the SecUnit’s hair and ear. It might bruise, but I don’t think it would be very obvious

I straighten it out again.

I think I see its fingers twitch.

Another firm kick to the flower and the SecUnit’s head flings to the side then jerks upwards as it finally comes online. It takes a deep and unnecessary gasp of air as it does so, looking around and scanning the environment in clumsy movements. It does a pretty good imitation of confusion as it finishes rebooting.

“What happened?” The SecUnit seems disorientated as it looks up at me from the ground. Well, the lack of rogue performance was nice while it lasted.

“Oh SecUnit, I’m so sorry. I didn’t know that would happen!” I’m laying it on a bit thick, but it doesn’t query me as it looks around again. “Are you okay?” I think that’s something the survey team would ask, all false fussing then dismissing once it’s out of sight and packed away.

The SecUnit remembers its behavioural requirements around me, and its head refocuses and stares up at me with those unnecessarily emotive wide eyes. “I don’t need a repair cubicle.”

Not what I asked, and a shame too. If it was in the cubicle again, I could really ramp up the warranty costs for Preservation.

“Oh that’s good. Can you get up?” I prompt it.

It slowly gets itself into a standing position. It is not standing at a normal level of stillness, listing to the side and looking around us before remembering to look at me. It repeats this alternating behaviour a few times and I watch curiously. Maybe I’ve introduced a corruption loop?

The SecUnit raises an arm up to the side of its head then down to its mouth. “What happened?” It asks again.

“Don’t worry.” I reassure it, “Your flower was damaged when you fell but you can have mine. It looks prettier on you than me anyway.”

I reach up and peel the remains of the flower out of it, using my nails to pry the skin apart. There is a bruise happening where I kicked it, mostly covered by its hair and the rest covered up as I press my flower into the scratch and block the leaking. I pat the dust off its face as I go.

I step back and admire my work.

It is still listing to the side, but the tightness of its mouth gone, replaced by a flatter look as it continues switching between slowly scanning the environment then looking respectfully at me. Its hand slowly comes up to touch its mouth again before dropping back to the side. A slight crinkle above its eyes as its programming buffers.

“We better hurry up, or your leader is going to be so mad at us for being gone so long.” The SecUnit stiffens. “She doesn’t want you going on long perimeters alone remember? Good thing I was here to keep an eye on you.”

The SecUnit stares as I hold out my hand expectantly, waiting patiently for its dodgy module to get a clue.

I could almost be convinced to describe it as hesitant or tentative as it places a hand in mine.

Chapter Text

“I mean, it’s very flattering that you think I’m attractive.” Pin-Lee continued. “But I’ve got Arada and she really-”.

Ratthi really should have made sure Arada was in the room when bringing up the contract with Pin-Lee, but he had thought that they could just double check together first that they were on the same page before going any further and it had just kinda come up while waiting for Arada to return.

Then his love confession had kind of burst out of him only to be immediately shot down. He hadn’t even gotten to discussing the contract!

Its a relief when Arada enters the room, and he leaps on the conversation change.

“Arada! How’s Seccy?”

She sits down next to Pin-Lee and holds one of their hands. “Okay I think? It’s still patrolling the perimeter with Leebeebee. She said the noises we heard - it’s showing her its guns. Then they’ll come back.”

SecUnit guns up close? That’s so cool. The only time he’d seen its guns was when it was threatening Gurathin and even then he didn’t really see it. Just kind of heard it start then stop while staring in shock at the back of its head.

He really wanted to see its guns.

“Do you think it will let me see its guns?” Ratthi’s mouth asks the other two before his brain catches up.

“Probably not.” Pin-Lee shifts to let Arada slide in behind them and starts giving another massage. “It should be against its contract but, well, it is a freaky rogue SecUnit so it can do what it wants. That’s the spot babe.”

Ratthi is envious of Arada’s hand right now, maybe he could slip in here somewhere? But he did just flunk the last conversation with Pin-Lee so he should probably back off a little.

“I think it likes me though. If it will show Leebee its guns, it can show me too? No security violation at all, I handled that gun at DeltFall like a pro.” He'd been a little nervous but it was his first time shooting a gun.

He ignores the twin skeptical stares he’s receiving as he imagines himself shooting the attacking SecUnit and saving Mensah and their SecUnit. Mensah would thank him for the amazing teamwork and SecUnit would give a friendly yet firm clasp of its hand on his shoulder. Pin-Lee and Arada would both invite them into their bed and-

“It doesn’t like you as much as it likes Leebeebee though.” Pin-Lee points out. He does admire how they can state facts without being mean about it.

“You don’t know that!” He protests, “We have a whole vibe going on! I’m very relatable!”

Pin-Lee wobbles their free hand. “You’ve seen it, it lets Leebeebee hug it. It didn’t let you hug it.”

“It just doesn’t know how huggable I am yet.” He waggles his eyebrows at the two of them, “I’m very huggable.”

Arada makes an agreeing sound. “You’re very squishy.”

“Why do you think it lets Leebee hug it and not me?” That came out more plaintive than he intended. He did want to know though, he’s been trying his best to crack its armour. He’s the one who keeps inviting it into conversations and it talks with him. It follows his prompts when he signals it to try saying something again when it friendly-threatens them. It doesn't leave the room when he enters. He didn’t think it disliked him? He hoped it didn’t dislike him. It was very hard to tell what SecUnit was feeling sometimes. He wasn't sure how much of that was construct anatomy or just being SecUnit.

“Maybe cause she’s not in its contract?” Pin-Lee suggested.

“Yeah, we’re kinda...its owners. It might feel safer with her than with us.” Arada adds on. He didn't like the thought that SecUnit might be feeling unsafe around him. Especially since he kept trying to invite it into team activities. Had he been pressuring it? Did it feel pressured by him?

Ratthi sighed, turning around to slide onto the bed next to them and flinging his head back dramatically. “I’ve been trying to be safe for it. Then she comes in and they’re just getting along? Like that?”

He sighs again, louder. He knows its a childish complaint. He’s beginning to feel stupid having these conversations back to back, first Pin-Lee and now SecUnit. Next thing he knows he’s going to talk about how upset he got when Gurathin was busy in the feed and doesn’t notice his early cycle greeting.

“Sorry guys, I just feel weird about it. I don’t know why I’m so bothered that it likes Leebee more than me.” Clearly SecUnit didn't mind, it didn't leave the room when Leebee entered like it did when Gurathin entered. It disliked Gurathin so much, he couldn't tell from its lack of expression but he could tell from the vibes.

“Maybe you’re jealous?” Arada leans around Pin-Lee to grab his hand. “You think it’s hot, I think it’s hot, we all think it’s hot. But you can’t touch it like you can the rest of us and she can?”

Is he just jealous? SecUnit is very hot, not that he was going to propose anything to it before becoming friends first. Is the way his stomach clenches when Leebee holds its hands and leans against it jealousy? Did he want to lean against that solid figure, to feel safe in its arms and know that whatever fuckup was happening on this survey – that SecUnit would look after them?

Ratthi has never been jealous of someone before, he always thought he was pretty open and welcoming about all forms of relationships. He wasn’t jealous of Arada for her partnership with Pin-Lee and was just happy to be involved. And if they changed their minds he would still be happy to be friends.

“I don’t think it’s hot.” Pin-Lee interrupted his thoughts.

“You think its cool though.” He had to agree with Arada’s statement. SecUnit was pretty cool to go with its hotness.

Pin-Lee shares a look with Ratthi. “Well, yeah. It’s pretty cool. All aloof and hiding behind a mask. With guns in its arms.”

“But soft enough inside to like Leebeebee?”

“Yeah. You’d have to be pretty soft to like Leebeebee.”

“Reminds me of you, babe.” Arada kisses Pin-Lee’s cheek. Pin-Lee looks pleased and he feels warm looking at their smile.

“I guess I could be jealous,” Ratthi confesses, “I get upset when Leebee hugs it and I keep wanting to take her hands out of its.” The feelings disturb him. He’s used to liking everyone pretty quickly, but he’s struggling with Leebee. Maybe if everything else with the sabotage and the other team wasn’t going on, but he’s feeling so stressed and she’s adding to it and changing the team dynamics he’s been working on so hard with SecUnit. “I don’t know why it likes her and not me.”

“Not that she’s unlikable,” he hastens to clarify. “Just that its been around me for weeks and Leebee’s been here barely two cycles. But it won’t look at me and will look at her.”

Arada leans back to mirror him, Pin-Lee sandwiched sitting between them. “Maybe she’s more familiar to it? Comfort in the familiarity of being a corporate being.”

Ratthi felt like he had a nasty taste in his mouth. “Leebee is its idea of familiarity? She’s so...different.” He ends diplomatically.

“She’s a freak.” Pin-Lee says less diplomatically and Ratthi nods in agreement. Arada looks at them both and he switches to shaking his head.

“Who’s traumatised and from an unusual background.” Arada coaches.

“Sure, she’s traumatised and from an unusual background.” Pin-Lee repeats, Ratthi returns to nodding while sharing a skeptical glance with Pin-Lee. He’s glad that they seem to share some reservations, even if its coming from a place in him that he doesn’t like.

Personally he thinks Leebee might have been like this before the trauma of DeltFall.

“Like Gugu,” He adds generously, “He was a bit weird when he first arrived and took some time to settle. Would say… odd… things.”

Although not nearly as weird as Leebee has been. He had some weird assumptions about how things worked, like Leebee, and he struggled with being tactile and opening up. He especially struggled with emotional conversations and sharing how he was feeling. It was uncomfortable sometimes but it didn’t feel bad-uncomfortable. More awkward-uncomfortable.

Ratthi hated to be making judgements so early, and from a place of jealousy. It's not the kind of person he wanted to be. Maybe Leebee's weirdness was just her being super tactile and open? Is this how Gurathin felt when he met him and he had to learn how to back off, but he's feeling it about Leebee? SecUnit is super standoffish and closed so maybe it was a case of opposites attract and Ratthi hadn't been tactile enough? Did he need to be tactile for it? He would have to ask.

“Remember that time he was just standing behind you? And you didn’t know? You dropped your mug and jumped like half a body length!” Arada laughs in memory. Ratthi laughs too, it had been pretty funny in retrospect. Gurathin had been very apologetic about the incident, and yet he still defaults to a quiet approach sometimes. But Ratthi is much better at not jumping or making him feel embarrassed about it these days, so they can handle it better and he makes sure to affirm to Gurathin that he understands he doesn’t mean to each time.

“Or that time he compared Mensah’s partner to a middle-management corporate? But he meant it as a compliment? But it just sounded like he was accusing her of being corrupt!” Ratthi shares back to their joint laughter.

“This survey is hard on him.” Pin-Lee notes as they (finally!) lean back to join Ratthi and Arada in resting on the bed. “He’s jumping at shadows again and its making him… abrasive.”

“Yeah…” Ratthi agreed. “Poor Gugu.”

“He likes feeling helpful.” Arada said. “When he hands out the trackers we should make sure we thank him. Let him know we appreciate his work.”

R A T T H I

Ratthi is using the food printer to get himself a late-cycle snack with Arada when he hears the habitat door whirring behind him.

Leebee leads Secunit inside by the hand and he feels his stomach twisting, heat rising into his throat and almost vaguely nauseous. He has got to get a handle on this jealousy before it makes him lose his appetite.

“Hey you two. How was the perimeter?” He’s not sure he wants to know the answer, and doesn't really listen. They've been gone a long time.

Leebee has that flushed look about her that he knows intimately on many past partners, and SecUnit… seems to have a flower behind its ear? He does a double take and stares at it while also trying not to stare at it. Its eyes are looking over his shoulder, occasionally flicking to look down at Leebee, but it otherwise seems its typical expressionless self. With a flower behind its ear. Maybe stiffer than usual from his staring, and with some dust over its armour from whatever it was doing with Leebee. No flush on its face but maybe SecUnits didn't flush?

(A flash to when they had to drag its body into the habitat. It might not flush but it did bruise. He needs to stop thinking about this.)

(It's not hard to work out why they might have been gone so long.)

He’s not sure where to look, he can’t look at the flower or SecUnit’s face. He can’t look at Leebee’s satisfied expression and swollen lips without feeling twisty inside, and looking at their joined hands makes him straight up nauseous. He’s really not sure what to say or do. He's feeling very uncharacteristic of himself.

Ratthi offers the printed food to Arada. “Sorry, I’m not hungry anymore. Do you want this?”

He needs to start his rest cycle and sleep on this.

Chapter Text

Ratthi has fled the room and left Arada standing awkwardly with SecUnit, Leebeebee and his abandoned plate of printer food. She’s glad they returned to the habitat before the cycle darkened but regretful it happened while she was in the room. She’s not ready to look at SecUnit after the conversation with Ratthi and his jealousy of Leebeebee.

Not that it is SecUnit’s fault that she had been developing feelings for Ratthi. She knows Ratthi is quite open to a range of partners but it still makes her feel funny, to know he can be in a contract with her and Pin-Lee but still be looking at others.

Leebeebee is telling her about the foliage they found and the flower that SecUnit had picked for her. She tells Arada this while still holding SecUnit’s hand, swinging their arms occasionally as she talks. Its gaze is fixed towards the wall but occasionally she catches a flicker of it switching between her and Leebeebee. This reminds her of something.

“The flower is lovely.” She tells them, remembering her manners when Leebeebee pauses expectantly in the conversation. “I’m glad you two had a chance to bond.”

SecUnit does not contribute to the conversation, standing to the side in Leebeebee’s hands. Arada knows this is pretty typical of SecUnit, conversation not coming easily to it unless prompted, but it still seems quieter somehow.

“How about you SecUnit, did you enjoy your… perimeter walk?” She asks it.

Its eyes flick to her then back to the wall. “Secure.”

“Oh, that’s good.” Arada offers lamely.

Leebeebee giggles, looking for all the systems like someone in a brand new relationship and excited to show it to people. “We had a great time, didn’t we SecUnit?”

It turned its head to stare at their joined hands before looking to Leebeebee. “...yes.” It confirms.

Leebeebee brings SecUnit’s hand up to give it a kiss, smiling up at it. “You can leave now, SecUnit.” 

Her corporate way of speaking makes it sound like a dismissal, which aggravates Arada, but she cannot put her finger on what it is about the cultural clash that is bothering her. She needs to speak to Pin-Lee, and maybe Gurathin, to understand it.

“Have a good rest cycle, SecUnit.” She offers to it to smooth out Leebeebee’s bluntness.

It’s hard to read SecUnit’s expression as it stares back at Leebeebee as she lets go of it hand. It doesn’t say anything response, or give an acknowledgement, simply stares for an uncomfortable amount of time in that way it gets when they ask it a question. Then it looks again to Arada and she accidentally captures its eyes.

They are wide and tense, its face in its default frown but otherwise expressionless. She freezes. Arada doesn’t usually find the SecUnit threatening, but locking gaze with it while it is frozen sets off a part of her brain that tells her to run and hide. SecUnit doesn’t give any of the micro expressions a fellow human would give her, it doesn’t twitch or flare its nose or twist its mouth. SecUnit is always so very still. It still reminds her of something.

Then, before she can collect her thoughts, SecUnit turns and marches out of the room.

Leebeebee gives a dreamy sigh from next to her, “It’s so intense isn’t it? Who knew SecUnit’s could be so expressive.”

A R A D A

Arada sighs again into Pin-Lee’s arms.

“What’s up babe?” Their head tilts towards her.

“Dunno, just thinking about SecUnit.” Pin-Lee turns further into her

“Thinking about SecUnit like Ratthi is thinking about SecUnit, or…? Because I haven’t drafted a contract for SecUnit.”

“No!” Arada says hastily, “Just...thinking.”

How SecUnit looked at her in the common area before leaving the room. How SecUnit looked at Leebeebee. How SecUnit held Gurathin against the wall and stared him down. How SecUnit targeted the creatures on their hopper and did not stop orienting on them until they left.

It reminds her of something.

“If you did want to propose a contract with SecUnit, would that be at the same time as Ratthi? Because I think that would make Ratthi happy but it could get very messy with all the emotions happening. I know I said life is short, but maybe we shouldn’t be making these decisions right now?” Pin-Lee has continued on the theme while Arada was thinking. “You know, like who’s trying to kill us? We could think about that instead of contracts with SecUnit.”

“Babe,” Arada appreciated how supportive they were despite being on the wrong feed-channel. “I don’t want a contract with SecUnit. It’s… attractive… but I don’t feel that way about it.”

“Oh. So, how are you thinking about it then?” Pin-Lee pulls Arada in more to them, and she presses her face into their neck seeking comfort. She’s not sure why she’s seeking comfort but she desperately wants more contact. She sighs again.

“I don’t know. I was in the common area when they came back. From their perimeter walk.” She tells them, “There’s just something about the way it stares at us. I don’t know. I’m not threatened. But I’m not not threatened.”

Pin-Lee makes a ‘go on’ noise.

“It made eye contact with me.” Its eyes, showing slightly more white than usual, staring directly into hers. The predatory stillness of a hunter.

SecUnit reminds her of the creatures.

“Mmm that’s not good, SecUnit only looks at threats. Did you accidentally threaten it? It didn’t like when Gurathin threatened it. Please tell me you didn’t threaten the rogue SecUnit.” Arada stopped listening and pressed her face harder into Pin-Lee’s neck.

Was she anthropomorphising the SecUnit? SecUnit wasn’t a human, it was more like the creatures than a human.  She really should have read its manual, like she read the information dockets on the known creatures. She knew it was acting to its base code or programming or something but had forgotten to do her research.

Pin-Lee was right that they had seen SecUnit only make eye contact with threats. Did she threaten it with her rest cycle comment? She wasn’t sure how that could be a threat but SecUnit wasn’t a human. Maybe it thought she was going to shut it down? But then all it did was look at her, it didn’t hold her up against the wall like Gurathin. So maybe it realised she didn’t mean to threaten it? So it just looked at her and didn’t do anything. Was it afraid of her? They did own it. Kind of.

“Babe?”

Arada sighed and pressed a kiss onto Pin-Lee’s neck.“Thinking.”

What did that mean about its relationship with Leebeebee? Could it be feeling threatened by Leebeebee, but also recognises that Leebeebee isn’t meaning to threaten it like Gurathin did? So it stares?

It would explain why Arada felt so unsettled by the interactions between them, if she was picking up on its predatory inclinations when around Leebeebee. Even if it didn’t mean to be threatening, but was behaving according to its programming. Communication between different species could get so complicated.

Poor Leebeebee was so deep into her crush she would be unaware that she could be threatening it, and could be misinterpreting its stares (were they even stares for SecUnits? Observation software? Targeting systems?) as affection.  What would happen if she accidentally threatened it and it did react?

“I’m worried SecUnit is… dysregulated.”

“Really? Our SecUnit?”

“Yeah. Remember how uncomfortable we felt in the throuple? But it took awhile to work out why we felt uncomfortable?”

“Yeah…”

“Yeah.”

Chapter Text

I can’t find the stupid SecUnit.

It is getting towards the rest cycle and the SecUnit isn’t in the security ready room where it should be. Which means its probably with one of the other idiots, and I am very tired of dealing with them.

I know it’s not currently being used by the augmented loser, as he was also looking for the SecUnit in the room. He claimed to be delivering the tracker for it, so I offered to deliver it for him and he reluctantly handed it over alongside mine. Probably sulking that he lost his chance to have the SecUnit tonight, but too weak-willed to stand up for himself. He can make use of one of his other colleagues instead, they seemed to have one entire team-wide relationship going on. Tracking the relations of these people has proven very difficult, they’re a complete mess.

This is why GrayCris sticks to ComfortUnits, more relaxation and less conflicts between people except for time slots. When I return, I won’t need to worry about that anymore. This experience is opening a lot of new uses for the SecUnits and if I play it right, none of the others need to know why I’m not on the waiting lists anymore. Especially if I can get a copy of this one’s cracked behaviour module.

That’s a problem for future me. Currently I have to solve the problem of where my useless broken SecUnit went so I can do my job and then finally get some well deserved relaxation before dismantling every bit of data in this habitat.

I find the SecUnit being used by their team leader in a corner of the common room. She has it running data analytics for their ridiculous peace treaty rendezvous tomorrow. The chances are low, I could have told her that. (I would have lied, told them it was higher to give them a false sense of security and hoped they would blow themselves up.)

“Hello! Knock knock!” I say, imitating the greeting their wormhole expert gives to garner a friendly reception. “What are you doing up so late? Can I help?”

“Oh, Leebeebee, how lovely to see you.” She is smiling at me, acting as if she is pleased to have an extra person to manage and organise. The theatrics of it is aggravating.

I return her smile, letting it tip into uncertain.

“SecUnit and I are just finishing up on our contingency plans for tomorrow.”

“Oh, I’m not good with data. Were there a lot of backups? You’ll come back safe right?” I twist the hem of my shirt, letting it flash more of my skin from where it was open as far as it could go. Never hurts to see who might be interested.

“Ah,” She pauses and gave me a long look, “Yes, I am confident that with SecUnit’s help we will be able to have this all sorted out with anymore tragedies.”

I fiddle with the zip, raising it and lowering it, “You’ll be taking the trackers and feed devices with you? We’ll be able to know you guys are safe? Back at DeltFall, we didn’t have these kinds of feed devices so I didn’t know what happened until I…” I trail off pathetically, giving a sob and sniffing hard.

She looks uncomfortable, “Yes, yes Gurathin will be checking in the morning that all our feed devices and trackers are working so that you can monitor us safely from the habitat.”

“He, he gave me one?” I let my voice waver a bit, “But, um, I’ve never been allowed a tracker before and he told me to go away. So I was hoping if you don’t need SecUnit anymore, if it could come help me with it?”

The SecUnit is still staring over her head and slightly towards a corner, waiting obediently.

“I’m sure it can help you, it’s very helpful.” She nods at me, her lips curling into a smile. “It’s so nice to see you settling in and reaching out for help.”

I ignore her patronising tone and give a thankful smile with a breathy laugh. “Um. Back in my old team, I would never be thanked for reaching out. It’s always ‘Do it yourself or get 5 months added to your indenture’ blah blah blah. So this is nice. I appreciate the chance to make some real friends. Especially since they’re all dead now.”

“Right, yes. I’m very sorry for your loss.” She looks off balance between the conversation and the continuous reveal-hide of my chest as I move the zip up and down. I take the opportunity to grab the SecUnit’s hand and attempt to pull it towards me.

The SecUnit doesn’t move, turning it head to look blankly at the team leader and awaiting permission.

“Well then.” She looks between us, “I’m sure SecUnit won’t have any problems helping you. But let me know if you, either of you, need anything.” It’s a very indirect way of giving an order but it does its job, the SecUnit’s governor module correcting it as it shudders then turns to follow me.

“Thank you!” I tell her as I walk away, “Have a good rest period!”

I think she says something else but I couldn’t hear it over the SecUnit following along behind me.

I take it to the room I was given and make sure to lock the door behind me. It had taken awhile to find the keys for it, for some reason the hippies were insistent on leaving doors unlocked.

L B B

The SecUnit stands in the middle of my room, starting at the door. It is an oddly spacious place for such a small habitat, but bare of any personal items. I think it belonged to the biologist’s spouse but they ended up sharing a room.

Its helmet is lowered and its gaze occasionally drifting towards me before slipping back to the door. Its programming conflicting between the custom behaviour modules to avoid eye contact and my requirement to maintain it.

“Sit on the bed.” I tell it as I turn away and remove my belt and bag to place on the storage compartment. This room has such nice storage compartments considering they clearly got the cheapest option from the company. The temperature control of the room is pretty nice too, comfortable against my skin as I remove my shirt.

Turning around, I see that the SecUnit is still standing.

I sigh.

It is, unfortunately, still quite stupid compared to a human and needs things spelled out for it in its current broken behaviour module to make new programming in its systems and neural codes.

“SecUnit? Can you please sit on the bed? I need your help with the tracker.” I pitch my voice higher, breathier, and walk over to gently nudge it towards my bed.

It works, the SecUnit walks over and clumsily sits on the edge. It sits there stiffly and awkwardly, its back straight, hands on its knees and facing forward.

It obeyed but it’s not what I wanted, so I spend some time fussing over it and nudging it into position. It responds best when I have a guiding hand pushing it in the direction I want it to go. Eventually I have it properly seated on the side of my bed, not the edge, legs together, its arms to the side and resting against the mattress. I run my hands over its face, tracing the lines of it, but ultimately I leave its head as is. There is no resistance from the SecUnit as I handle it into position.

I make an appreciative noise, “Good. Good. My turn to get comfortable.”

I straddle it, wrapping my arms around its armoured back and neck, pressing my breasts against it and enjoying the play of different textures from its armour and face. It leaned back slightly as I pushed against it, but a slap of its head with an admonishment to stay still fixed that.

I enjoy rolling myself against it, a little warm up while I thought about how I could use it to relax from the hard work I’ve been putting in with these non-corporate entities. Get some comfort time in.

Pulling back, I investigate its face again. It still has the stupid flower crammed in between its skin layers and the bruise behind that. It is looking to the side of me, its mouth firmly shut and its face as placid as usual. I give it a shake and remind it, “Watch me.”

I didn’t really enjoy kissing it earlier, although sucking out its breath until it shutdown was going to be something I had to try again. Another rest period however, as I didn’t want to deal with it shutdown while in hostile territory.

It also doesn’t have the softness of a ComfortUnit’s mouth and while in other parts of its body that has been a benefit for new creative relaxation endeavours, I found it lacklustre for kissing. I would have to find something else to do with its mouth. Later.

I kiss at its chin then compare the texture to its forehead. I use my thumbs to force its eyes closed and kiss those. Why do SecUnits even have eyelashes, except to please their clients?

Next I tilt its head back and pressed along the jawline and down its neck. I am pleased to discover how far back I can tilt its head, much further than a ComfortUnit’s and without any of the gasping noises they make. I think one day, maybe this SecUnit when there’s the opportunity to be undisturbed with it and in the repair cubicle, I would like to bend the neck to its extreme then cut it open to see what is in there to have it so firmly armoured.

“What have you been doing on this planet?” I ask it, forgoing my usual subtlety to be blunt for its smaller sentient capacity.

I pull its head back up and open its eyes. The neural code programming finally activating and fixing on me, wider than needed for my well lit room and the SecUnit’s vision capabilities. I flick its nose.

It is slow to answer, “I am their Security Unit.” It is also unhelpful in answering.

I groan and hit my head against its head. When I get a copy of this behaviour module, I am making sure to combine it with a ComfortUnit program too, for some more intelligence and capacity to answer questions.

I’m getting uncomfortable straddling it this way, so I get off the SecUnit to change its position. I spread its legs so I can sit between them and press my back against its armoured chest. It is cool to the touch, a mix of fabric and hard surface.

I feel a moment of regret again that it doesn’t have any modification inputs to install a penis.

“What have you been securing them against?” I ask it as I continue to make myself comfortable, adjusting its legs and pulling its hands around my waist.

“Hostiles.” I can feel its breath against me, moving my hair as it replies. It is a steady pattern, unchanging.

“Wow that must have been scary. Were they in the broken map areas?” I investigate its gloves.

“One of them.” They are not difficult to remove, I peel the fastenings apart and pull them off to reveal its unnecessarily human hands. Why did they give it nails? They had to decide if a construct was going to be a SecUnit or ComfortUnit at the internal structure stage so it seemed unnecessary.

I thought about removing them, then changed my mind. I ran one of its hands over my chest instead, tracing patterns and enjoying the sensation. The other laid limply in my lap where I had left it.

“Where were the blank areas on the map?” I manipulate the fingers of the hand I’ve been exploring with, making it cup my breast with slight pressure. It remains there in position when I release it and I feel satisfied. Its dumber than a ComfortUnit but it does learn.

“I was not given access to the survey area.” It hasn’t learned to reply faster yet, and each question forces patience upon me to wait for an answer.

“They’re not taking their SecUnit on surveys?” After I ask this, I collect its other hand to bring up to my mouth and suck on a couple of its fingers. It shifts behind me but I give its leg a slap and it settles again. I repeat my question, ““They’re not taking their SecUnit on surveys?”

It is quiet in response. “Dr. Gurathin does not trust me.” I suspect the augmented human must be from the Corporate Rim like myself, but he must have naturalised to their freehold polity’s bizarre teachings to be applying trust to a SecUnit.

“Really? It’s your job. Why doesn’t he trust you?” I work the SecUnit’s hand into my pants, cupping it around myself and pushing one of its fingers in. It is cool compared to my skin, a pleasant sensation, and I move it in circles gently.

“...Dr. Gurathin thinks I am malfunctioning.” It says behind me. I think its head must have changed position, as its breath is now coming lower against the base of my neck and barely disturbing my hair.

“Wow that’s so unfair of him. Has he been working on your behaviour module? Did he break it?” I move my hips, lightly grinding my clit against its palm. Its finger is tantalising but not quite hitting the spot.

“...No. Dr. Gurathin checks my systems.” The SecUnit’s responses are getting slower and more uncertain as I approach the topic of proprietary data.

I pull its hand back out and adjust its fingers. “Feel this setting? When I tell you, I want you to move your fingers into this position.” The SecUnit is fully silent against my back.

“Unit, acknowledge out loud.” I prompt it.

“Acknowledged.”

I return its hand to his position curled around me, pressing two of its fingers in. I continue the grinding motion of my hips into it that I was teasing myself with earlier. My skin has flushed and I can feel my heart starting to pound.

“What has he going in there? Calculating the survey data?” I’m panting around the words. I fumble with the hand around my breast and guide it up to clasp around my throat. The pressure sends a spike of fire through my stomach.

“...No. I have no survey data.” The SecUnit is so quiet I have to press myself back firmly into its chest to hear, the armour digging into my skin as I lean as much into it as I can. Every texture sets off a chain reaction across my skin.

“None at all? He’s just fucking around in your head?” I asked with a strained voice as I pushed its fingers deeper into me. “That’s awful of him.” Wasteful too.

My breath hitched as I ordered the SecUnit. “Move your fingers, now.”

I clenched around the fingers in me as they twitched then hesitantly curled into position, making my groin throb and light flash across my vision. Its hand around my neck also twitched as it fulfilled the pre-programmed setting and I pushed my neck further into it to feel the resistance as sensations ran up and down my body and I brought myself to completion.

I sagged into the SecUnit’s grasp as the orgasm faded and I enjoyed the tingling under my skin and where it pressed against the hand in my pants, around my throat, the SecUnit’s breath on my back and the movement of its armour behind me as it breathed.

A ComfortUnit would have been all faux arousal, matching me moment to moment and mirroring my reactions even if ordered to remain stationary. Always trying to imitate a person and interrupting my relaxation time. The SecUnit by comparison, is silent and still. Its limbs stay where I place them and it does not make noises that interrupt me except from program glitches. It takes quite a bit of work to activate those glitches through the neural coding. I am finding it quite preferable to the ComfortUnits.

I tease at my clit with its fingers, chasing the last of the orgasm. That was refreshing and I am in a much better mood than when I was looking for the stupid thing.

I peel myself out of the SecUnit’s hold and go to my storage compartment to finish removing my pants and collect my bag.

Turning around, I assess the SecUnit. It is mostly in the position I left it in. Seated on the bed with its legs splayed apart, its abandoned hands dangling where I shoved them while removing myself. I think I’ve accidentally triggered one of the many sensitivity programs a SecUnit would have, as I can hear the gunports clicking as it prepares itself then it shudders and deactivates again at the lack of a target.

The client tracking error pattern from earlier in the cycle is back, its head slowly drifting away from me to stare into a corner of the environment before giving a twitch and returning its focus on me only to drift again. Its mouth has slackened from its tight grimace and I can see its imitation teeth.

It is soft like this.

I run my hand down its face, grasping its jaw. “Open your mouth.” I tell it.

The SecUnit’s systems are slow as it looks between me and the tracker in my hand and it closes its mouth tightly. I imagine one of its warranty modules is doing calculations and clogging up its processing capabilities, resulting in the non-response.

That’s okay, I have the organic hack I discovered earlier. I pinch its nose shut and wait it out in self-congratulatory amusement. All the work to program these constructs to follow written parameters and security processes undone with some neural coding and organic manipulation. If my next job involves SecUnits, I will be able to finish it in time and a half and collect the hazard pay.

It doesn’t take long for the SecUnit’s lips to part in the smallest gap and take a sharp breath. I work my thumb in between them and pry its mouth open wider. There is resistance but ultimately it allows me.

As I go to put the tracker in, its hand comes up faster than I can see and grips my wrist firmly. It squeezes lightly, and I chasten myself for being careless with its mechanical side and making it malfunction. “SecUnit, your head is the most secure part of you. It is the safest place to put the tracker. Acknowledge out loud.”

The SecUnit remains silent as I test its grasp on me, but it looks at me obediently as I tighten my grip on its jaw and place the tracker into its mouth. Its hand continues holding onto me but provides no more resistance.

It rests on the tongue, a standard square shape, designed more to be placed in a bag or strapped onto a limb than for insertion into a SecUnit. I’ll make it work.

“Swallow.” The SecUnit’s grip on me tightens as it struggles to follow my order, tongue moving but the throat distinctly lax. It doesn’t have any of the neck musculature of a ComfortUnit and I sigh at that oversight as I tilt its head back, giving it a shake to encourage the tracker to move down.

It doesn’t have that over the top fake gag reflex either, but that is an improvement. I hate how they program the ComfortUnits to imitate humans and pretend they are human, the SecUnit’s struggles to follow its programming while still obeying me is much more entertaining and exciting.

I force its mouth wider to check the status of the tracker. It is resting at the entry of the airway tubing, angles caught on the side. Stupid design, but then I can hardly expect quality from a Preservation augment.

I shove my fingers in to push at the tracker, forcing it as far back as it can go. There is resistance, but I am able to get my fingers around one of the edges and twist it into the tubing until it is barely visible. I wonder for a moment if the tracker will still be functional like this, or if it will be muffled by the SecUnit’s feed.

When I pull my fingers out, the SecUnit finally releases its grasp on my wrist. It was tight enough that my skin is now red from the pressure and I suspect there will be some bruising later on.

Its mouth snaps shut and its head tries to return to its default wall staring, but I shake its jaw. “Eyes on me. Status report, SecUnit.”

It would be a shame if the tracker had damaged it and I would need to undo my hard work before returning it to the survey team. I wasn’t sure how I would get it out if it needed to be undone but sometimes risks has to be taken for results.

“Error Code 4271.” It tells me, its voice sounds a bit weird but not too noticeable and still functional. I think its breathing might be impacted as it takes more visible breaths but there is no other additional sounds. It seems fine to me.

“What’s that mean?” I ask for clarification.

“Error Code 4271. Your SecUnit has blocked tubing. Please return it to the repair cubicle. Delayed repairs may void your warranty.” It takes another visible breath at the end of its disclaimer. It must have used up its oxygen supply and I factor its new status into each of my plans.

“Good, you won’t lose the tracker.” I tell it.

“My performance reliability is at 87% and dropping.” The SecUnit tells me, hitting some notification metric. For a moment I am glad this ridiculous team didn’t get a more modern one with notification pop-ups, the feed spam would drive me nuts.

“You’re fine.” I tell it, “Lay on the bed.”

The SecUnit clumsily shuffles itself backwards to the furthest side of the bed and lays down. It is mismatched to the size of the bed, its feet hanging over the edge and the bulk of it taking up most of the surface. It makes for an amusing sight, the armour a contrast to the usual nakedness of a ComfortUnit. The only synthetic flesh I can see right now on this one is from its face and hands. I can’t decide if I prefer it this way, or when it was unclothed for the repair cubicle.

I get into the bed and straddle its hips, looking down at my work. Its face is blank as it stares back at me, none of the wide eyes from the repair cubicle exploration or when I stopped it from breathing. I wonder what else I can do to get them to go wide again.

I can feel a rolling sensation as it takes the deeper breaths around the tracker, it’s pleasant. That I want more of, so I work on removing its chestplate and unzipping the top of its skinsuit. A partially unclothed SecUnit seems the answer to my question.

“My performance reliability is at 85% and dropping.” The SecUnit offers unprompted.

“Uh huh, sure.” I’m too busy thinking about what I can do with it in the new cycle if I keep it here for the whole rest period, to bother with responding. It’s probably going to be blown up by my Team Leader shortly, so I want to enjoy it while I’ve got it.

“You still have the finger setting in your behaviour queue?” I ask it, relocating one of its hands to between my crotch, curling those smooth fingers to trace again at my opening. The lack of attachment points for sexual organs are definitely a feature. I direct its other hand to rest against the base of my throat and lean down into the pressure.

L B B

I don’t know why I enjoy holding hands with the SecUnit. I think it is the stiffness of its limbs at the unusual movement, the mild resistance in its joints as I swing my arms, the way its hand stays soft and cool under my touch without any of the cheap sweat that ComfortUnits release.

I am taking the SecUnit to the repair cubicle, it had notified me that it was down to 78% performance reliability after I had woken from my rest period and then used it to prepare myself for the day. It put me in such a good mood, I figured it wouldn’t do any harm to get whatever corruption it was experiencing halted. I wanted it mildly malfunctioning and open to neural programming, but I didn’t want it shutting down. Especially if I end up needing it.

I’m in such a good mood I am not even bothered when I run into their geochemist doing her morning ritual of soap theft. I can respect the game, if you can take it you take it.

She asks after me, expressing concern about the bruise on my wrist and the bright colours it has bloomed over night.

“It’s nothing to worry about!” I reassure her, letting some of my genuine amusement shine through, “It was an accident. It didn’t mean it. Tell her, Seccy.”

The SecUnit repeats me, “...I didn’t mean it.” Its voice isn’t too different. It’s slower to speak, struggling to form the words around the tracker, but it does eventually voice them without much issue. The benefits of being a bot I guess.

She doesn’t have much to say after that, so I give her a true smile and continue to lead the SecUnit to the security ready room.

As I enter the room, the SecUnit speaks. “The repair cubicle will carry additional costs.” Which is obvious, the repair cubicle costs money for every use. It’s not my money, and SecUnit’s don’t have or need money, so ignore the notification and start pulling its armour off. It does not help.

“The hopper will be departing in 2 hours and 12 minutes. Repairs will take 7 hours.” The SecUnit notifies me again as I finish the armour removal and start pushing it at the repair cubicle until its default settings activate and it steps up into the stand. I start humming, a catchy jingle I heard playing on the display as we passed the wormhole guy earlier.

“The hopper will be departing in 2 hours and 11 minutes.” It tells me as I connect the cubicle leads to it. I have to turn the lead around a few times to get the correct angle to plug it in. He had avoided looking too closely at the SecUnit and is visibly uncomfortable being around it. I think I can use this.

“The hopper will be departing in 2 hours and 11 minutes.” It tells me again, as I swipe through the cubicle screen and tell it not to initiate a repair cycle and to prioritise charging. There are several pop ups about current systems running and potential damage to software from forced shut downs but I tell it to close on each one.

“Wait.” The SecUnit shuts down before it gets to tell me again about the departure time. Hopefully when it restarts, that system loop will have resolved itself.

I think that if it survives the encounter with my team in a few hours, I should see what will happen to the tracker if I leave it in a fully activated repair cubicle. If it doesn’t, I hope that Team Leader will be pleased enough with my work to let me have the credits to recreate the situation with one of our SecUnits.

It would be a shame to waste the programming I’ve been doing on this one, so I hope it survives.

Chapter Text

Gurathin stands in front of the hopper, arms wrapped around himself while Ayda and Pin-Lee talk in the hopper. (Hugging himself is a self-soothing behaviour that reduces cortisol responses to stress, according to his Preservation Alliance provided behavioural therapy module. Hugging himself is an expression of weakness, according to his Corporation Rim experiences. He preferred the Preservation provided definition.)

“SecUnit, are you there?” Ayda has been trying to reach the SecUnit but it wasn’t responding. He wrestles down a stab of anxiety that this is it, it has betrayed them.

“Gura, have you seen SecUnit? With HubSystem down I can’t check on its status.” She asks him, “We can’t go without it.”. Her final statement stopping him before he even finishes developing the thought let alone saying it out loud. She knows him too well.

Gurathin pulls up the tracker feed and finds that it is located in its cubicle. “I’ll get it.” He says. He immediately regrets his decision as he heads to the habitat.

If the SecUnit is betraying them for the company, it is better that he finds it first and gives the rest time to flee. He can send out the emergency alert to all their feeds faster than everyone else. (Except for the SecUnit, he reluctantly recognises. Which is why he must be the one to find it.)

He enters the security ready room cautiously then straightens when it becomes obvious how little he needs to be cautious. The SecUnit is visibly shutdown and he is immediately tempted to leave it like this, or to take this chance to get into its systems and disable it. He could make it so it stays shutdown until the company retrieves them, he could install some fail-safes into its code, some kind of override module, he could reactivate its governor module and make sure that it could never raise a finger against him -

(His colleagues think of it as a person and have shared their strong opinions about the governor module. Bharadwaj would no longer include him in Preservation culture or lean against him in companionship. Ratthi would only address him by name and never by an affectionate informal variation. Arada would pull away and the avoidance of eye contact would no longer be from a place of consideration. Pin-Lee would organise legal restraints on his proximity to them and have him removed from Preservation.)

- and Ayda would never love him.

Gurathin studies the SecUnit before him. The repair cubicle status screen shows that it is shutdown and recharging, providing the barest summary data on its systems and an unexpectedly low performance reliability of 79%. He swipes through the shutdown information screens and finds nothing to explain the low results, which doesn’t ease that underlying anxiety that there is something wrong with their SecUnit. (Beyond its rogue status and being provided to them by the company.)

He doesn’t know a lot about SecUnit specs, a visual inspection shows nothing more than an unsettling parody of a human propped up on a stand waiting to be activated. It is unclothed, (naked, he thinks Bharadwaj would correct him), except for that ridiculous flower Leebeebee has given it slowly wilting behind its ear.

It all makes him very uncomfortable and he wishes he could leave it here where he didn’t have to worry about it or look at it.

But… Ayda is about to meet an unknown number of potentially hostile people and in comparison, the SecUnit is at least a known quantity in regards to protecting Ayda. It might not be safe for the rest of them, or in the long term, but it has been useful in keeping Ayda safe and after the beacon explosion -

Gurathin flicks the screen back to the recharge screen and cancels the shutdown. He allows himself a small moment to feel annoyed that the SecUnit had gone fully offline when they had a time limit to meet to make sure they could scope out the rendezvous before the meeting time, preventing him from making a proper decision.

The SecUnit powers on much faster than he expected, and he jumps backwards in alarm as it abruptly powers up its energy guns and starts to raise its arms before locking eyes with Gurathin.

He is frozen with his heart hammering, too shocked to scramble for the emergency feed and send an alert to the others, when the SecUnit lowers its arms and the guns power down. (He thinks of when it moved so fast he was standing one moment then in the next against the wall, his augments glitching as they tried to process what happened.)

The SecUnit is taking deep breaths too.

He had never noticed before that it breathes. They are deep and steady, nothing like his own ones as he recovers from the shock. He wishes he could use HubSystem to immobilise it.

“Dr. Mensah and Pin-Lee are waiting for us in the hopper.” It tells him. Gurathin is immediately irritated that it is telling him to rush.

“Yes, they’ve been waiting for you.” He snipes back at it, “Are you malfunctioning already? Are you even stable enough to come along?”

“I’m fine.” The SecUnit’s hand makes an aborted motion upwards as it steps down from the cubicle. Gurathin isn’t convinced, but his decision to activate it had removed his chance for gaining honest information. He wishes he had more time

The SecUnit heads towards the armour and starts dressing. It has its back to him, but doesn’t hesitate to start stepping into its under armour and the process is uncannily human-like. Gurathin feels something twist inside him.

He doesn’t want to see this.

“Get to the hopper.” He tells it as he flees the room.

G U R A

Gurathin sits near Pin-Lee while Ayda flies the hopper to their destination.

Pin-Lee is making modifications to their drone for their upcoming reconnaissance prior to meeting the GrayCris representatives. The SecUnit is standing opposite to them, eyes staring blankly into a wall. It keeps moving oddly. It has started fidgeting, its hands alternating between brushing the flower behind its ears and scratching at the neck of its armour and its face.

It’s unsettling. The SecUnit was so stationary before and the change in behaviour has the hair on the back of Gurathin’s neck standing on end. He feels like he is standing at the edge of a cavernous drop that he can’t see, can only feel, and he’s waiting for the SecUnit to push him in.

He takes a breath and reminds himself to think rationally about this.

The SecUnit’s behaviour only started after the beacon explosion. It could be side effects of the spinal surgery Ayda performed on it, (he had a note to ask her about the specifics when she was ready, for information gathering purposes), or it could be malfunctioning - the rogue status incompatible with its programming and now it is corrupting in on itself and going to present a danger to Ayda out in the field and go fully rogue on them -. (His behavioural therapy module flagged that he was experiencing elevated levels of stress. Which he thought was a bit redundant considering the greater stressful atmosphere but he had promised Ayda to take the module seriously.)

He reluctantly acknowledged that his cortisol had been spiking and shelved that concern on the feed for later, to go over when the greater threat of GrayCris was resolved.

It wasn’t conductive in preparing himself to let the SecUnit leave with Ayda anyway, Ayda was not going to leave it behind again without substantial evidence and his concerns no longer qualified since he kept it behind on the empty map survey.

The far more likely reason was their survivor, Leebeebee. He saw how quickly she lost her fear of the SecUnit despite her recent trauma of the DeltFall massacre. She accepted its rogue status in barely an hour, her utter lack of concern about it all screamed Corporate Rim and company, someone who has never had reason to be fearful about a SecUnit – or had a reason not to be fearful.

Gurathin suspected she had a very good reason not to be fearful. She made his skin crawl with her ease and confidence around the SecUnit.

His current theory was that she was using the SecUnit and its emotional connections to his wonderful, naive, colleagues to steal their data. He wasn’t sure how yet. It would explain why it shot itself and is so invested in keeping Ayda alive, the company could hardly get their data if it had killed them.

Maybe, if he thought generously about the SecUnit, the rogue status of the SecUnit was preventing the company from spying on them properly so they sent her in to get it back on task and now GrayCris has come along with their hostility and complicated matters for both Preservation and the company.

He glances at the SecUnit again. Trying to see if there was something in its stance that would tell him. It was still standing silently, staring in the direction the hopper was travelling while one hand slowly crept up to its neck again . This aggravates him and he doesn’t know why, which aggravates him more.

“I noticed you no longer have an issue with eye contact.” He interrupts the silence.

The SecUnit tilts its head towards him and the hand lowers to its side.

“You seem to be becoming very friendly with your new best friend.” Its head returns to looking forward but he sees its hand tighten into a fist. The company want impersonal machines and yet create them to look and act human, he doesn’t understand it. He had stared into its eyes for a painfully long time and seen no sign of human thinking.

Ayda’s head has turned towards him too, but she is yet to say anything. She probably wants to understand too, even though he suspects she is coming from a more optimistic place of wanting to understand and bond with it.

“You’ve been spending a lot of time with her.” He knows that she joined the SecUnit on its patrol, and the SecUnit stayed in her quarters far longer into the rest period than Gurathin was awake for. That’s enough time for the SecUnit to transfer all of its data on them. Would they wake after their next rest period to find Leebeebee and all their data gone, sold to the highest bidder, their surveillance system professing ignorance?

The SecUnit has turned firmly away from him to face the hopper wall, as good as a confession, and he gives Ayda a ‘ You see what I mean’ look. He gestures with a frustrated arm for extra emphasis. She raises an eyebrow at him.

“Gura, we talked about this.” There is understanding in her eyes even as he knows she’s about to disagree with him again. “SecUnit has promised to look after all of us, including you. It’s allowed to socialise, its fine and SecUnit is fine.”

His stomach drops at the dismissal, but he doesn’t get to voice his thoughts or objection before the SecUnit interrupts him.

“My performance reliability is at 76%.”

Gurathin narrows his eyes at its back. Wasn’t the reliability of it higher when he activated it in the cubicle? Or was it the other level that he looked at? Didn’t it repair from Ayda’s spinal surgery? Could it be trusted to protect her?

“That’s a bit low, isn’t it?” Pin-Lee questions, fiddling with the last of the wires of the drone device. Gurathin agreed wholeheartedly.

“Should you be here? How can we trust you when your reliability is so low? How will you keep Ayda safe? Are you going to malfunction while with her?” He can feel himself unraveling. His nerves have him stumbling over his questions as he tries to get them all out before the panic takes over.

“Gura. Please stop with this.” Ayda warns him again and he curls in on himself, ashamed at the loss of control, and tries for a steady breath (he can hear the SecUnit breathing). Pin-Lee rests a reassuring hand on his knee and he tentatively leans in towards them instead. It does make him feel better.

“Error Code 4271.” The SecUnit turns around and, to his horror, makes eye contact with him. “Dr. Gurathin, you know I’m not designed for -”

“I know.” He cuts it off, feeling very frustrated with the SecUnit and the broader situation at hand of nobody listening to him, so why should he listen to it. “You have told me a few times now, I don’t need it repeated again.”

Its face twists for a moment in an expression Ayda would call frustration but Gurathin knows is just another part of its programming, then turns away. It is uncomfortable and unsettling how guilty a pair of eyes on a machine can make him feel. He knows there is Corporation Rim proprietary data behind that design choice and he hates that it works.

“We should run a diagnostic on you when we get back.” He mutters at it. (His behaviour therapy module would tell him that his tendency to keep digging in an argument is an attempt to be understood and could be regarded as a method of asking for help.)

Gurathin tries to internalise that as he turns his back on the SecUnit fidgeting again.

Chapter Text

Pin-Lee sighs again.

They had hoped the modified drone would show something to call off this rendezvous, a reason to return to their habitat and stay hidden safely away until the company remembers their contract and collects them, but unfortunately it had shown nothing.

If something was a security concern, they were pretty sure SecUnit would have mentioned it. It seemed to take its job very seriously between saving Arada and spying on them.

Even Gurathin kept his silence as Mensah and the SecUnit left the hopper to meet with GrayCris. Although Pin-Lee suspected some of that was him being upset with Mensah, he would never let her put herself in danger because of it.

So, Pin-Lee was forced to wait with him while they negotiated.

Which was bullshit, that is their expertise and they should be on the ground with Mensah, not grounded to the hopper. Waiting.

They sigh again.

“Mensah shouldn't have come on this whole expedition.” Gurathin grumbles beside them, anxiously hovering over the external display showing tracker feed.

“I know.” They hold in a third sigh and move closer to look at the display, “but try telling her anything once she's made up her mind.”

“Right…” He trails off and Pin-Lee takes a second look at him. He is hunched in on himself, hands gripping the side of the seat tightly as he stares at the screen. They suspect he’s taking Mensah’s admonishment harder than usual with everything else going on, not helped by SecUnit’s unfortunate tendency to threaten him with eye contact.

“You want to talk about it?” They ask him.

Gurathin replies eagerly, “Yes! Yes please, thank you.”

Pin-Lee listens and makes encouraging noises as he tells them about his concerns. Where previously Gurathin only had SecUnit as a company device to worry about, he was now also worried about their DeltFall survivor. It was a lot of anxiety to listen to and Pin-Lee wished Arada was here to cheer him up.

“They use us, in the Rim.” He was telling them, “Everyone uses each other and she just shows up as our SecUnit malfunctions! Now she has it following after her and is probably using it to scrape our data.” After the immediate safety of everyone, they were also quite concerned about the ongoing data privacy issues with SecUnit. Even though they weren’t sure if it understood privacy.

“Why would Leebeebee be using SecUnit?” Pin-Lee asks him. “How would Leebeebee be using SecUnit? It’s got free will.”

“Nobody has free will in the Rim.” Gurathin starts picking at his nails, “Least of all a SecUnit. They’re made for killing and maiming.” They telegraph their movements as they put a hand over his, stopping the stripping of his nail polish.

“They spy.” He glances at Pin-Lee from the corner of his eyes but doesn’t pull away. “And when they go rogue they do all of that but without any parameters.”

Pin-Lee felt uneasy. Gurathin has been telling them the risks about SecUnits and yet, this one has kept them safe. They also understood Gurathin’s background might be skewing his perceptions a little. Enough so that this conversation wasn’t being the stress relief they had hoped. They wished their wife was here, what would Arada do?

“You know, Arada thinks its dys-” Pin-Lee considered their audience, grimaced and corrected themself, “-got issues controlling its emotions. And communication issues. She thinks its feeling threatened by us, but not out of control. We’d be fucked if it was out of control.”

Okay, Arada hadn’t shared her theory last cycle in quite those words, but they were channelling their wife not becoming their wife.

“Exactly! We’re fucked if its out of control!” Gurathin swears as Pin-Lee sends mental apologies to their wife for their failure at channelling her.” “It should be controlled so Leebeebee can’t control it. Shut down and stored away or fix its governor module!”

“We can’t do that, it’s unethical.” They pointed out.

“Well, it’s a huge hole in our security system.” Gurathin sounds desperate for one of his justifications to land and they pat his hand soothingly. Usually Pin-Lee would enjoy a good argument with Gurathin, but this one felt too black and white even for them.

“How do you know? You were able to move on from the Corporate fucks, why not SecUnit or Leebeebee?” They ask him, genuinely curious to know how he justified this discrepancy between his experience and theirs.

“I chose to leave, I reached out to Mensah. They’re… they’re just here by bad luck.” Gurathin stumbles, “A massacre survivor and that cheapest refurbished SecUnit that won't do what its told.”

Pin-Lee isn’t sure he believes that so much as he is trying to convince himself. Usually when Gurathin spiralled like this with the paranoia, Mensah or Bharadwaj would step in. Ratthi and Arada as back up. They are all very good at remembering to address emotions, Pin-Lee’s more about facts and following processes, even while caring deeply for their troubled friend.

“We’re not the Corporation Rim.” They try to remind him gently but it comes out loud. “We give people chances and we abide by our ethics.” Pin-Lee feels regret as they shut him down like Mensah did earlier. They know it’s the right thing to say, but they wish it didn’t hurt him. “Even weird people with shitty communication methods.”

(Like Leebeebee, SecUnit and Gurathin. Pin-Lee knows not to air that thought out loud)

Gurathin does not respond well to their attempt. “The SecUnit records you and Arada and Ratthi.”

“What?” Pin-Lee drops his hand and stands up, leaning over the table to box him in.

“The SecUnit.” Gurathin whispers, turning his head away to keep them in the corner of his eye as he viciously scowls at SecUnit’s tracker on the display. “It has cameras in your rooms and has recorded you. Probably from different angles.”

“That’s private! Why is it watching that! That’s not data!” Pin-Lee tries to contain it in but it explodes out.

“That’s what they do! And it should be shutdown and stopped from watching us!” Theyknow Gurathin gets mean when he’s stressed and wants people to listen but this is going too far. How does he even know this? They hadn’t discussed telling anyone about their trial contract.

“How do you know? Are you watching us too?!” They accuse.

“No! No, I, no I was looking into the SecUnit’s systems and-” He starts and then cuts himself off, realising his error at the same time as Pin-Lee pounces on it.

“So its okay for you to spy on the SecUnit spying on us? This is so fucked up! Stop spying!” They’re not yelling at him, they’re not. But their voice is raised and Gurathin is leaning back. Everything is so fucked up and they’re surrounded by two, maybe three, spies with shitty communication methods and shitty emotional regulation skills and their amazing wife and their slightly less amazing trial contract partner, who are both good at emotional regulation, are not here.

“I’m going to sue the shit out of them for recording us.” Pin-Lee announces aggressively, leaning back from where they were crowding Gurathin to slouch down in their seat. “I’ll make them return anything they take.”

He’s silent.

“Sorry Gura, I know you’re concerned about us and looking out for us. I, we, appreciate it and you.” He turns back towards them and stares furiously down at his hands.

“That’s months away, we need to do something now.” Pin-Lee could hear the unspoken ‘I’ in his request.

“I could make it sign an NDA? Get Leebeebee to sign an NDA too? I’ll write the tightest fucking NDA for you to review.” They suggested. “SecUnit can show us the cameras to trash them and delete the recordings?

“That’s too far away, we should shut it down and run a diagnostic.” Gurathin is speaking faster again, his hands shaking. “And confine Leebeebee to her room away from the SecUnit.”

“We can’t go around shutting people down! It violates our principles and makes us just as bad as them.” Pin-Lee grabs his hands again to ease the sting of what they said. “You’re better than them.”

“What if, what if Leebeebee has an override? Like from DeltFall? Then we’d be doing it a favour.” They sigh his name in frustration as his paranoia tries some last few weak arguments.

“It shut itself down.” Pin-Lee flinches at the memory. It looked at them all then shot itself in the chest. They don’t want to see it like that again, too much like a dead body all stiff and heavy. It didn’t even have a pulse.

“We’re not fucking shutting it down Gura. Even if it were shitty spying corporate junk, which it isn’t because we’ve agreed it’s a person.”

Gurathin’s strained face looks up at them from where he’s hunched over their joined hands.

“Look, Gura, I know you’re worried about the corporate warfare but that’s my job. You don’t need to worry about it. If they take our data, we’ll sue the fuck out of them. We’ve got a month to recover it.” He makes a grunting sound in response to them, watching the pair of trackers make their way back towards the hopper. Mensah is going to return and see him worse than when she left.

Which is not great.

They try for distraction tactic three, a method that always works in getting players offbalance in KillJoyBloodLustTechRiot so they can get that kill shot in.

“Maybe she’s seducing it.” Pin-Lee leans back to watch Gurathin turn to stare at them in horror at the outrageous topic.

“SecUnit, maybe she’s caught its heart with her wiles and it just likes her.” They push at the boundaries of belief.

“She’s not sleeping with the SecUnit! That’s not their purpose!” He’s staring at her in disgust, lip curling.

“What, you don’t think she finds it attractive? Always holding its hand?” Privately, Pin-Lee does wonder if she has seduced SecUnit through their common background and corporate connect, if its threatening nature isn’t part of the appeal to Leebeebee. It’s probably never had anyone show interest in it before, that can be intoxicating.

Pin-Lee can understand that, they’re pretty sure that’s what drew Arada to them in the first place and they’re still addicted to her.

“It’s not attractive!” There is colour in Gurathin’s face now as he straightens up to respond to them, pinching his lips. “You all have horrible taste.”

“What? For ranking it on the hotness scale next to Mensah?” They tease him gently.

“Can we not talk about this right now? They’ll be back soon. I don’t want Mensah or, or, or the SecUnit, hearing us discussing their hotness scale.” He looks appalled, his eyes flicking between the display screen and the hopper’s door, outrage straightening his spine from its defeated posture earlier.

Pin-Lee smiles in satisfaction. “Sure, sure.”

Success.

Chapter Text

Most of the amateurs, and the SecUnit, are in transit to meet with my team. This presented an opportunity to poke around the abandoned display screens, as most items are not password locked. Most.

I am not a hacker, and without the SecUnit to open up any walls for me, I have not been able to get much information except that they have some information. Which isn’t news to me, I confirmed they had been doing blank zone surveys with the SecUnit during that rest perior. That data acquisition was much more enjoyable and efficient, but it couldn’t be provided through hard data.

Maybe it won’t die. If Team Leader installed an override in it like we did at DeltFall, there’s a chance that it would be at my base when I returned. Then I could borrow it for the night with a ComfortUnit booking and compare the two.

Maybe if I got the hard data, Team Leader would let me damage the ComfortUnit without extra costs to my indenture, and I could compare how the SecUnit and ComfortUnit would differ in their responses to recreational rest periods. I especially wanted to compare their lung capacity, and to see if I could make a ComfortUnit respond in the same fashion as the SecUnit when I was pulling its wires.

I should probably join the idiots that remained behind before they started asking where I was and found me with their display screens. I can’t deny their leader’s decision making, she’s left the most useless ones with me and taken her most competent, and the SecUnit, to meet with Team Leader.

I find the three of them clustered around the display screen, despite that everyone is wearing their feed devices and could easily see the same information through that. Instead, they’re hunched over nearly on top of each other. The wormhole tech/engineer/whatever repeatedly sending them useless advice while the biologist and geochemist keep telling him to be quiet. Yet none of them truly mean it, and so he keeps rambling away. It is painful.

The display device is having connection issues, which caused them to start talking over each other again instead of just fixing it. So I reach around them to slap the terminal’s hard drive. It made them all jump, which was satisfying.

“Leebeebee!” The geochemist jumps the highest, leaning back from me to clutch at her chest. “You startled me!” The display screen connected for a second before glitching again so I give it another slap. They don’t jump this time, and the screen reconnects.

“Oh, thanks for getting that working. Not how we usually fix things…” The wormhole guy thanks me, looking embarrassed not to have fixed it himself.

I flick my hair back as I coach my voice to sound humble, “Yeah, well, stupid shitty equipment needs a slap sometimes. It knocks the loose wires back.”

“Right, right.” He agreed.

We all sit in comfortable silence. It’s almost enjoyable, but then the biologist ruins it by grabbing my arm.

“Leebeebee! What happened!” She asks with an overdramatic air of concern.

The bruise around my arm from the SecUnit’s malfunction with its protocols had blossomed into an attractive purple with darker blotches from its finger tips. I already had plans to try and trigger a similar malfunction, to get around its inability to harm clients and hopefully get some more colours on my skin. Around my thighs would be nice to see and feel.

“Oh, it’s nothing!” I ran my hand over the bruise, glancing at the geochemist who had already seen it earlier. She has pressed her lips tight and looks quite unhappy, “It was just a misunderstanding.”

“Leebeebee, this isn’t nothing.” She turned my arm around, “This is deep bruising! How does something like this even happen?”

I rub at my cheeks to force a blush and look away, “Well, you know…” I trail off intentionally.

The wormhole guy is eager to interrupt us: “I’m sure it was an accident! Seccy wouldn’t intentionally hurt someone.” He avoids looking at my arm during his defence. I imagine he has continued to fail in the game he has going on with it. His jealousy and discomfort of the SecUnit is very obvious.

“It would if it was threatened, you saw what it did to Gurathin!” The biologist is getting very passionate about this. Which one was that? There’s no way the SecUnit would harm its leader even for the behavioural program so it must be one of the others that a roleplay went wrong on. Probably her partner, the lawyer, to be so upset.

“It didn’t hurt him!” The wormhole guy continued. “It just held him up a little.” The augment then. That’s interesting to know, so the SecUnit can’t shoot some dumb birds but it is allowed to lightly bruise their augment? I press into my bruise again and enjoy the throb. Is it allowed to manhandle the augment because it’s an augment or can anyone? When did this happen? Could it happen again?

“By the throat Ratthi, people can die from that! You’ve seen how it looks at Gurathin in the eye.” She said this, like a SecUnit looking at its clients is somehow abnormal and contains a special meaning.

“Like at how it’s looking at Leebeebee.” Biologist continued her argument with wormhole guy while geochemist hovered over my arm. The over-protective tone of her grates on me, but I continue to listen while the dissent in their ranks grow.

“It doesn’t look at her like that.” Wormhole guy said. “It doesn’t feel like that. We’re just misunderstanding it but it’s not, like, a threat to us.”

“It could be! It wouldn’t meant to but it could.” I’m beginning to wonder if any of these people even looked at the SecUnit manuals. What have they done with its programming to screw-up such a basic default setting?

“What’s wrong with how it looks at me?” I ask reluctantly.

“SecUnit doesn’t like eye contact.” The biologist is eager to share her preferences on what they’ve installed into the SecUnit. Basic instructions of how to ruin a perfectly fine construct. “It’s probably got a targeting system so when it does make eye contact, it’s to target! Like when it looked at Pin-Lee with the combat override.” I think this biologist needs to read a SecUnit manual instead of trying to treat it like a creature to study. But I can see the appeal in a fantasy that something is so threatened by you that it would avoid eye contact.

“I want it to look at me, it’s fine.” I say, a touch too stiffly, and I force myself to soften the conversation, “I like looking at it. It’s got those big expressive eyes.”

“But if it’s looking at you it’s not feeling happy…” She said.

I had to turn my laugh of disbelief into a cough. These Preservation people were really something else, anthropomorphising a construct to each other’s face then turning around and fucking with it in private. I see how they treat it when not in front of each other. I don’t know how this biologist was using it, but I doubt it differed that much to my own and didn’t warrant this performative nagging.

“It’s fine, the SecUnit doesn’t mind. It’s programmed to look at us.” I frame my voice to sound kind as I educate her on the very basic functions of a SecUnit.

“Right, right…” The biologist hesitated, stared at me, then conceded my point. She looked back at the display screen to focus in on the trackers, it was showing their leader and the SecUnit moving to meet with GrayCris.

“It’s very normal to have a crush on someone who saved you.” The geochemist shoves herself into the conversation, her voice dripping fake concern. “But its important to still look after yourself.”

These guys are getting way too into a little bruise. It’s annoying to be the subject of so much juvenile fussing but it is causing disagreement between the two weakest and the wormhole guy.

“Oh, like the crush Gira has on your leader,” Was that his name? The augmented guy? They had just told me but I hadn’t been paying attention. “But he can’t have her so he takes it out on the SecUnit?” I ask with false sincerity.

The geochemist let go of my arm and relocated behind the wormhole guy to massage his shoulders. “He doesn’t take it out on- He’s not- His crush isn’t- That’s not- This isn’t about Gurathin.” She struggled to choose her final response to me.

I was doubtful of some of the things she failed to say, I had seen how their walking dataport spoke to the SecUnit. He definitely had some kind of game and custom behaviour modules happening with it outside of their poly roleplay thing.

I even had a backup plan for elimination all of these idiots except the augment. I would keep him alive to remove the survey data from him. It would involve having the SecUnit hold him stationary while I pried the augment and its data out of his skull to take back to Team Leader. With the SecUnit of course, as I would be its remaining client contact.

That was a backup plan but I had considered using it as a primary plan.

The geochemist had continued to ramble on about their little tech freak’s lack of freaky time with their team leader, so I interrupted, “Well, what about you all? How do you handle your relationships with each other?”

They all exchange glances, probably deciding how much they’re willing to share with me. They can be oddly prudish at times for a bunch of communal hippies.

“We’re, ah, we’re not in a relationship with each other.” The geochemist said, while at the same time the wormhole guy said, “It’s complicated.”

“What do you mean it’s complicated? We have a contract.” The biologist seemed offended and confused. I was also confused, a contract with the SecUnit? These people were nuts to bring legal ramifications into their joy ride.

“Well, it kinda is?” The wormhole guy was clutching hands with the biologist. Were they breaking up their polycule thing? Over the SecUnit? That wasn't my intention but I was willing to see how this would pan out. “...it’s just- after our talk last night about SecUnit- also I spoke to Pin-Lee- I’m just thinking. Maybe now’s not the right time. There’s a lot going on and I’m feeling...lots of different emotions about things. It’s very confusing. And complicated.”

“Oh, oh, that’s too bad.” The biologist seemed dismayed. This was almost as entertaining as the romance side plot in Asylum Crescent: Update and Drop before the Administrative Occupational Warden impaled the Process Plant supervisor in the cloning factory and left them to drip over the construct cloning pool while they violated te’s body.

“Are you sure? Because when you were with Pin-Lee I-” The biologist continued to argue about their relationships status while I puzzled over how I could use this to disrupt them more. I had misjudged their level of entanglement, the biologist was with the wormhole guy and the lawyer but not the geochemist. Certainly not with the augment but none of them seem interested in him which made sense. Augmentations are generally a turn off when you can go for a superior ComfortUnit, or your far more durable and quiet SecUnit.

“So, what, you guys are, were, sexually compatible together?” I ask them. “Did you ever bring in the SecUnit?”

“No!” They all chorused together, with so much denial I blinked multiple times and leaned back.

“Well, if it asked.” The wormhole guy admitted. “But it hasn’t asked and I wouldn’t want to ask it on the survey. Everything is too complicated.”

I knew he would be into it.

This morning when I was riding the SecUnit I had thought about how entertaining it would be to have him seated over the SecUnit and insert himself into its mouth. He would be much nicer to kiss than its synthetic mouth while the SecUnit’s guns activated and deactivated under us until it had another oxygen-depleted shutdown.

“Yeah, we, we wouldn’t ask it do that. It wouldn’t be right.” The biologist agreed with wormhole guy, to my dismay they seemed to be resolving their conflict as quickly as it started.

“Why wouldn’t it be right?” I asked.

“Constructs can’t consent.” The geochemist seemed to be trying to be sympathetic, while also contradicting their own little social roleplay game.

I am very happy to be able to catch them in one of their lies and to have the opportunity to point out their hypocrisy to them with my lost little survivor act. “Of course it can consent, it’s a person!”

“Well, yes, I didn’t mean to say its not a person. But it can’t consent because it’s a- it’s our- it’s a slave, it doesn’t have a choice about being here.”

“I don’t want to be here either and I can consent.” I sniff sadly and rubbed vigorously at my nose. It made my eyes water which makes them uncomfortable. “Plus, like, its a rogue SecUnit. If it doesn’t want something it can go all Rogue War: Tracker Infinite: Tribulation.”

These people are exhausting. The biologist and the geochemist talk over each other explaining when constructs can and cannot consent on Preservation and on surveys. They’re very confident on how it works for people who have never read its manual.

The wormhole guy had been quiet, poking at the display device. He looked very unhappy to have his desires to involve the SecUnit be dismissed as unethical. It is always satisfying to spot the cracks in their false narratives.

I rest my hand on his to comfort him. “If you’d like, you can join us this rest period.” I take advantage of his social rejection by the others to make an offer.

He paused to admire my nails. “I don’t think it would want that.”

“Are you sure?”

He considered my offer then removed his hand. “No, no, no, I don’t think I can do that…”

Right, their ‘ethics’. “Only if Seccy agreed, of course.” I gave a laugh and patted at the removed hand.

“Of course. Look. I think maybe you’re confused-” He is cut off by the geochemist leaning over all of us to point at the display screen. “Look! They’re all back safe in the hopper. They’re coming back to us!”

I leaned in with the rest of them and felt the dismay rise in my chest. On the diagram of the hopper it clearly showed all four tracker IDs on their journey back to this habitat. What had happened with GrayCris? Was Team Leader still waiting for me to steal the data or sabotage the habitat?

I clutched my bag and the gun it contained. I could try to take these three hostage, but their leader had the SecUnit and I don’t think it would ignore her programming to follow my neural work. It would be better to wait for the SecUnit to return, deal with it, then initiate one of the plans to handle the rest of them.

Well, the SecUnit had been fun while it lasted but I couldn’t say I would be sad to be out of this habitat. Hopefully I can get a back up of its modules for personal use later.

Chapter Text

Bharadwaj is so relieved to see Mensah, Gurathin, Pin-Lee and SecUnit step off the hopper unharmed. She rushed out of the habitat to clutch hands with Gurathin, then turned to Mensah to ask about the rendezvous. Every part of her is so grateful they’ve returned safe and sound.

“They tried to remote override SecUnit, but when that failed they were open to a peaceful resolution.” Mensah sounds amused by the recollection, “They’ve given us another cycle to come to our senses.”

Behind her, Pin-Lee is enveloped in Arada’s arms while Ratthi bounces around between everyone, burning off his nervous energy and inadvertently blocking Leebeebee as he pesters SecUnit about something. Gurathin seems even quieter than his usual self, a disgruntled frown on his face as he glares at them. She hoped he wasn’t regressing on his distrust of SecUnit again.

“What are we going to do?” She asks Mensah.

“I’ve got a few ideas to get a beacon working, I’ll need to borrow Gurathin if you don’t mind.” Mensah smiles back at her as Bharadwaj releases his hands in relief, of course Mensah had returned with a plan.

“Of course, I’ll come find you later Gura.” He nods at her, straightening in newfound confidence as he follows Mensah. With the survey and sabotage wearing away at him, Bharadwaj is glad he has something productive to do. He always thrives best when he has a goal in mind.

Pin-Lee and Arada head off with each other and then it is just her and their newest team member. Leebeebee is pouting as she watches Ratthi orbiting around SecUnit, waving his arms as he talks while starts its familiar perimeter patrol.

This is probably her best opportunity. She had hoped the topic was understood, but after their conversation earlier she was forced to accept that much like when Gurathin arrived in Preservation, confused and clumsy in his communication, Leebeebee needs some extra help to understand Preservation convention when it came to conversations and relationships. Unlike Gurathin, she seemed much more open to these conversations so Bharadwaj was optimistic this would go well.

“Leebeebee, would you help me with some samples?” She figures the interest she expressed previously might be a good avenue to get the conversation rolling.

“Oh, oh um. Sure. I love helping.” Poor Leebeebee sounded less enthusiastic than previously, covering up her disappointment of not spending more perimeter time with SecUnit. Bharadwaj took her around to wear the samples are sorted and started handing them out for cataloguing.

“I thought perhaps we could continue our conversation from earlier.” She broaches the conversation tentatively, watching Leebeebee for signs of offence.

“Sure! Which one? Are you going to tell me about your relationships?” She seems eager and interested, the shine of a romantic in her eyes. Bharadwaj can relate, she loves a good story about love.

“Maybe another time. I thought since you’re so interested in Preservation I could tell you more about our bots? Since you seemed so interested?” Granted, it was mostly interested in what it meant for constructs and SecUnits, but Bharadwaj was glad to see that Leebeebee was already keen to consider people other than herself.

“Yes, sure. I’d love to hear more. After my indenture I want to have that child and stuff. Maybe get married. Could we get married?” Leebeebee has very optimistic wishes and Bharadwaj is reluctant to shoot such a harmless fantasy down. Not while their situation needed all the optimism it could get.

“Right, so, on Preservation we consider bots to be people. That includes constructs, like SecUnit.”

“Uh huh”. Leebeebee nods at her, frowning in concentration as she moves the samples from Box A to Box B according to the cataloguing.

“So on Preservation, SecUnit will have all kinds of rights and can do lots of things once we get there. But,” She hesitates as she gets to the important part of the topic. “But right now we’re not on Preservation.”

“Uh huh.” More acknowledgement from Leebeebee but her faces seems politely confused. Bharadwaj braces herself to go for the full explanation.

"So you know more than me, about Corporation Rim, but here on this survey. My understanding is SecUnit is essentially property. It doesn't have… agency." Bharadwaj watches as Leebeebee frowns harder, sniffing.

“It’s rogue though, you said so.” She sounds almost sulky. Bharadwaj understands this could be pretty confusing to someone from the Corporate Rim, reminds herself of how hard Gurathin is struggling even after his years in Preservation. Her heart aches for them both.

“Yes, yes it’s rogue. It’s a person. But we bought- rented- we didn’t want but they made us have- SecUnit is here because they gave it to us as property. So no agency.” Bharadwaj stumbles over how to describe the situation they are in with SecUnit, painfully aware that even in telling Leebeebee this she is taking away its choice to explain this to her.

“Right…” Leebeebee puts the sample down and looks at me completely mystified. “Which means…?” She asks. Bharadwaj is grateful for her curiosity and willingness to learn, this will make the conversation much easier.

"Which means," Bharadwaj continues for her, "It can't really consent, right now. Not in the way you or I can, or the way a bot on Preservation can."

“"Wait, what?" Leebeebee draws back from her, looking in the direction SecUnit went then back at her. “It can’t consent? To me? What are you accusing me of? We’ve only held hands!”

Bharadwaj feels dismay at mangling this explanation and distressing their already traumatised survivor, lets her hand hover in the air as Leebeebee turns away from her to hide her upset. This is not what she had meant to do, she had only intended to protect them both.

“Nothing! I’m not accusing you of anything, we can’t control our feelings! SecUnit can’t consent to anything right now. But in a situation like this, it can help a- a relationship- it might be better to just wait on things with SecUnit until we’re no longer on the survey? It would only be a few days once we get this beacon working.” She tries to reassure her, resting a hand on the shaking shoulder.

“It’ll be okay Leebeebee, you haven’t done anything wrong. I just wanted to explain before you do anything you’ll regret.”

Leebeebee takes a big sniff and rubs at her eyes. “Right, you’re right, of course I should wait until we’re off this shitty planet. Just to make sure. You said you’re going to get the beacon working?”

Chapter Text

Ratthi felt the nervous energy of the cycle burning through him as he follows SecUnit on its well-stepped out perimeter patrol. Each footstep precisely placed into its previous footsteps with amazing precision. He couldn’t make out Leebee’s footsteps from the cycle before when she joined it and he thinks he is thankful for that, not ready to untangle those emotions.

"Hey, Seccy," Ratthi angles for friendly but could feel himself landing squarely in too cheerful. "Could you show me your guns?"

"No." It replies as it kept marching forward, head scanning the environment. Its hand twitching, a few times coming up to scratch at its throat then down again. He wonders if it could get allergies to the atmosphere like Pin-Lee has to take medication for. They have been asking it to have its helmet down a lot lately, but maybe it was keeping that up for its health? Felt a bit personal to be asking that without a warm up.

Ratthi blinks and then thought again. "Oh. Right. Safety reasons?" He was disappointed though, it showed Leebee its guns and its barely known her two cycles. Ratthi has at least 24 cycles of knowing SecUnit, although if he thought about it he could acknowledge he’s only known it as a rogue for the same amount of time as Leebeebee but he was talking to it before he knew it was rogue!

Granted, that was only after Bharadwaj was rescued and he realised it had a face. He felt very uncomfortable about this, his insides twisting again.

"Yes." It confirms.

"Okay, fair enough.” He doesn’t want to push it too hard or drive it off. “So you might not have noticed but I never actually got the weapon training? I was too busy. I was wondering if you were free after checking the perimeter. Could you give me some? Just the basics like not knocking myself out?”

He follows after it anxiously then stumbles over his feet to avoid running into its back when it stop and turns to look over his shoulders. Its eyes flicker down to him then over his shoulder again.

He loved Arada, she is an amazing person, but on this he would have to disagree. SecUnit’s rare eye contact never made him feel afraid or hunted. Just made him feel acknowledged and recognised. He didn’t mind it.

“Fine.” Its eyes flicker down again then away. “We’ll do it now. Follow me.”

Ratthi feels himself grinning as he follows after it. "Awesome! You won't regret it! I'm a fast learner!"

SecUnit takes him back to the hopper to retrieve the gun, then leads him out to an empty space away from the habitat. It was a part he had never been to before, it was peaceful. It had some of the flowers like the one SecUnit wore (he avoided looking at it too closely to avoid looking at his face) and was otherwise quite open.

"Hey, SecUnit." Ratthi can feel himself about to ask something really stupid and blow his chances of private gun lessons with it. "You know Leebee, right? How she's always, like, holding your arm or being real close to you?"

SecUnit stands silently, staring out at the horizon. The only sign it has not become one of the rocks was the way it seemed to breath heavier than usual. Possibly getting a bit personal with his questions here.

Ratthi hesitates, then figures he can’t make it worse than he already has. He really needs to know. “Do you… want me to be more tactile? Like that? Would you like it?" He eyes its twitching hand hopefully.

“Absolutely not.” SecUnit turns its head away from him. He wasn’t expecting the corresponding stab in his chest at the rejection.

“Oh, okay.” He manages, cheeks flushed. “Do you mind if I ask why? Is it- Is it me?” He really hopes it isn't him. He's been trying to so hard to make SecUnit feel welcomed and part of the team. He knows he can come on a bit strong, he's been trying to meet it at where its at.

“I don’t like it.” SecUnit is short and to the point as it turns further away from him. The turning away hurts. That Ratthi hasn't been making it do something it dislikes is a relief.

“So with Leebee then? Do you want that?” Ratthi knows he is prying and Bharadwaj would be disappointed in him, but there’s been a growing anxiety as he watches their interactions and he’s not sure its just his jealousy any more.

SecUnit remains silent, its hand twitching again to its neck. Ratthi squints at it and tries to read between the lines.

“Would you like me to talk to her? For you?” He offers it tentatively.

SecUnit turns back around to look over his shoulder. “Yes. Please.”

Relief hits Ratthi at finally being able to do something on this survey to help someone, even something as small as helping it to navigate new relationships and boundaries. (Which did remind him of the impending looming conversation with Pin-Lee and Arada. That was going to be awkward. He winces.)

“This is the safety.” SecUnit interrupts his thoughts and holds the energy gun out to him to fumble with. “This is the energy level. You will keep it on low.” It changes the dial for him and points at the corresponding colour on the side of the gun. How did he miss that last time? He did spin it too far.

SecUnit doesn’t make any comments as he fiddles with the energy weapon, it just gently nudges his hands from pointing the gun at its chest (wow that would be bad and embarrassing) to the open area in front of them.

He hides a smile as it gently corrects his hands, the grip firm and non-threatening. This kind of tactile interaction seemed okay, so he let it guide him through the motions of shooting (safely) into the air. Best weapon lesson ever.

Chapter Text

Arada taps her finger against the portable display device as she rushes to intercept Leebeebee intercepting SecUnit returning from the perimeter with Ratthi.

She has a whole plan organised with Pin-Lee after their conversations earlier. She wasn’t sure if Leebeebee simply didn’t believe their concerns about SecUnit’s potential reception to them (its instincts? its programming?), if she understood their concerns but thought it wouldn’t happen... or if she found the danger appealing

Arada also wasn’t sure anymore if SecUnit was following its programming or feeling threatened by them. She wasn’t sure it would know the difference and she certainly didn’t know the difference.

She needs more information about SecUnits, but the manual the company had provided them was missing and Pin-Lee had drawn the painted-stick to wrangle SecUnit. That leaves her with Gurathin, who was paranoid and would answer her questions but possibly start spiralling again, and Leebeebee who seems to have experience but also a hopeless crush that might cause her to view SecUnit through a similar optimism lens like Ratthi.

Gurathin was with Mensah though, helping them work on their backup beacon plan. So, Arada rushes to intercept Leebeebee.

"Hi Leebeebee," Arada starts, forcing a cheerful tone as she approaches their number one confusing refugee. "Do you know what a biologist does?"

Leebeebee pauses, looking at her in confusion. “Yes? You look at the freaky worms getting it on and study egg sex and stuff?”

It was Arada’s turn to pause in confusion. “Um, good guess. Kind of, but, not really. We study living things across all the systems. I try to understand how they work, why they do what they do, how they interact with each other." She tries to keep from getting carried away about the joys in being the one to find something new to puzzle out, to analyse and understand, to break new ground.

“Uh huh…” Leebeebee draws out her acknowledgement, looking baffled at her then looked over her shoulder as Pin-Lee went past with the SecUnit.

Arada hurries to get her attention again, “Right, so. As a biologist I’m missing some critical information and I thought you might be able to help me understand things. I need to try and understand SecUnit and I was thinking you’ve worked with them, SecUnits, a lot more than I have. Could you answer some questions? Share your perspective and help me understand? You know more than I do.”

Leebeebee tries to hide a sniffle (does she have allergies? Maybe she should go find her a tissue) and looks pleased at the recognition of her knowledge. Arada feels a stab of guilt for using her indenture-induced lack of education against her to butter her up.

It’s not even a lie, really. Leebeebee seems to have had a lot more interactions with SecUnits and Arada does want to know what she knows. No-one has ever studied a SecUnit before, she could be the first. She didn’t need the missing manual, it only covered things like its maintenance and programming. She didn’t think it covered any of the biological side or its true nature, just directed them to dump it into a cubicle until it was brand new again. They wouldn’t talk about the real truth of how its neurons processed information, or its sentience, or its self-aware status. That was all uncovered territory. There was so much potential, she could start a whole new field of construct biology and behaviour. Show the world how much there was to learn about them and from them.

“You want to ask me questions about creatures like the SecUnit?” Leebeebee sniffs again and smiles at Arada. “I can give it a shot, yeah. You have to cite me and stuff? Get my name in the books?”

Arada starts to reply in agreement then freezes at Leebeebee’s clarification. The SecUnit.

She grimaces at herself and where her thoughts had gone in her enthusiasm, comparing SecUnit to a creature. Had she been calling it The SecUnit again and got Leebeebee mirroring her?

“I mean no, not exactly. It’s a person, not a creature. It wouldn’t be ethical to study it like- like that.” She hastens to explain and correct Leebeebee of her impression of her. “I wouldn’t treat it like a research project. I just want to understand it some more.”

“Oh, what do you want to know then? You could read its manual, it explains a lot. Or ask it, I guess.” Leebeebee seems almost reproachful of her now and Arada feels a hot flush creep up her neck at her misstep.

What must Leebeebee be thinking of her? Talking about the SecUnit like it was one of the creatures that attacked them. Something that acted only on instincts (programming? coding?) and not a sentient being.

It confuses her and she doesn’t understand it or what it wants. She didn’t want to anthropomorphise it but now she wasn’t sure what she should be doing, if the opposite was to objectify it as a specimen. Arada felt her stomach sink.

She doesn’t feel like a very good scientist or person right now, and hoped that Pin-Lee was having a much more productive and fair time with SecUnit. Then they could talk about it during their rest period.

“You know what, never mind. You’re right. I should- I should just ask SecUnit my questions. Here, why don’t I show you the egg samples we got. Don’t worry they’re not from the worm, these are from the birds. Nothing attacked us for them.”

She quickly shows Leebeebee the containers, eager to forget these questions until she was in her partner’s arms.

Chapter Text

When Ratthi returns with SecUnit, Pin-Lee splits from Arada to occupy it before Leebeebee stole it away from them. They might have rigged the painted-stick draw, they had simmered the whole hopper ride back to the habitat and this was their chance.

“Alright, SecUnit.” Pin-Lee steps directly into its path before Ratthi could even finish thanking it for whatever they were up to. “Where are they?”

SecUnit tilts its head away from them slightly, the flower dropping one of its petals. “Where are what?”

“The cameras. All of them in this habitat. Every single hidden privacy violation. I want a full run down of them and then I’m removing all of them.” Pin-Lee tries to stare up into its eyes, to use its own language in the conversation but it avoids them expertly. They needed Arada, what did the eye avoidance mean?

“Surveillance systems are essential for habitat security.” It says.

Pin-Lee scoffs back at it. “Cameras in our bedroom aren’t essential, that’s data mining. Do you think one of those creatures is going to break into the habitat through our bed? Lets start with the ones that are a blatant violation of privacy. Where are they?”

SecUnit remains silent except for a twitch in its arm.

Pin-Lee tries to open up their body language, arms spread, no threat here. “Well? Where are they? My room first - I know they’re there.”

Its silent.

“Where. Are. They?” Pin-Lee grits their teeth, forcing politeness through each word. “Are there two? Three? Four? Where are they placed? Don’t make me search every damn inch myself. I might cause a security hazard.”

Pin-Lee feels their temper fraying when it suddenly steps towards them. Pin-Lee jolts and takes an aborted step backwards as SecUnit's eyes dart down to look at them as it walked past.

“This way.” It says.

Pin-Lee trails behind and fumes. It leads them straight to their room and they are furious at the implications as it slowly starts to remove small cameras barely larger than the tip of their comms devices.

There are four in their room, two on the ceiling and another two at waist height. Pin-Lee doesn't want to think of the things SecUnit had seen, what it cross referenced when it read their private logs.

“These removals may result in significant company fines.” SecUnit tells them as it carefully places the small collection on the bed. They wonder if it is watching them through them right now.

“Fuck the fines,” Pin-Lee grumbles at it, picking up one of the small and simple looking lens. “This is an invasion of privacy and its illegal. How often do you watch us with these? Why have you been watching Arada and I?”

SecUnit seems to hesitate before denying. “The recordings are passive. I don’t watch these cameras unless an alert is triggered.”

Pin-Lee frowns at the bold lie to their face. “Then how did Gurathin know I was with Arada and Ratthi? What did you show him?”

Its head, previously angled towards her, slowly turns away and faces the door. “I did not watch the data. Dr Gurathin accidentally viewed the passive recording.”

Pin-Lee stares at the side of its head and thought CorpShit. Of course it watched, it was a ‘highly advanced piece of technology’ that was made to watch and spy on people. Recording every part of their life, everything they said and wrote down. It made Gurathin’s occasional boundary mistakes when he settled in much less of a big deal in retrospect. He has never set up cameras in their rooms.

“Are there any in the bathroom?” Pin-Lee asks, tried to keep their voice even.

SecUnit says nothing.

Pin-Lee hates the cold realisation that flows down their spine from the implications of that silence.

Before they can voice their objections, SecUnit marches out of their room and stands outside the shower area.

Disbelief and rage is battling in their chest as they avoid looking directly at the SecUnit out of fury. “That is so fucked up. So absolutely, fundamentally fucked up.” They whisper to their self as SecUnit looks in their direction and then, without looking, it removes a camera in the frame of the entry above its head.

There is another in the mirror, another near the soap. A final one is directly above the shower stall and SecUnit carefully places each one on the pile of towels.

They reach the end of their patience and move closer to SecUnit, apologising to Arada in their head for ignoring her warnings and being aggressive at it but they are so mad.

“Are you kidding me?” Pin-Lee yells, their voice echoing past the flimsy shower screens. “Are you actually kidding me? What kind of sick, twisted perverts are running this company? What about privacy? What about human dignity? You think this is okay?”

SecUnit stepped back from them as they used their proximity to force it backwards. They didn’t touch it, but they waved their hands as they spoke and tried to get it to respond and maintain eye contact.

“It is my job,” SecUnit says, its voice sounded flatter.

“Well it’s my job to protect us from stuff like this! How would you feel if you had someone watching you when you’re naked? When you’re… when you’re vulnerable?” Their voice falters and cracks, they are so mad.

SecUnit shift backwards away from them as they kept approaching until it reaches the corner, then slowly turns until it was fully faced away with its back to them. Pin-Lee wondered if they were imagining it was breathing as hard as they were. A part of them realised how this would look, that they had cornered it in a confined area and they felt a moment of regret that it has to be like this to get answers.

“Why won’t you look at me?” They tried to cover some of the rage and instead came out plaintive. “Why won’t you answer me?”

They stand in silence together in the shower rooms.

“I don’t like the security ready room.” SecUnit says to the wall.

Pin-Lee feels a warmth move up their neck and cheeks as they recalled the room where SecUnit was stored. The cold emptiness of it except for the repair cubicle in the centre, SecUnit’s armoury and some boxes of stuff they had stored in there. They remembered helping Mensah and Ratthi drag it into the room, how they removed its armour and clothing then struggled to position it on the stand in such a way that it locked into place. Then they had all gathered around to stare at its shutdown body while the repair cubicle had started to fuse its wound and print its new parts.

The room didn’t have a fully opaque door. When you walked past, you could see SecUnit on display. They had avoided looking at it and hadn’t thought too deeply on it out of discomfort, or considered how it felt to be stored in a room without a seat or a bed.

Their rage quickly crumples away and they feel acutely embarrassed instead. It made sense, that SecUnit didn’t understand privacy. An awful kind of sense.

“Right. I can see why you wouldn’t like your room. I don’t like your room either.” They stumble over their words as they tried to correct their accusations. Arada was going to be so upset with them. “Its not you I’m angry at, its the whole Corporate Rim thing. With the privacy violations.” They try to explain.

SecUnit continues to face the corner, back and dataport squarely presented to them. They wonder uneasily what Arada would describe this eye contact avoidance behaviour as.

“Right, how about.” They look around and spotted the cameras, picks one up. “Here, stop scratching your neck and hold this.”

SecUnit partially turns to look down at the camera.

“Go on, hold it.” They encourage.

It holds the camera then looks at them, then back at one of the hiding spots questioningly.

“Go on. Break it.” Pin-Lee nods at it its hands. “I was going to break them anyway after you showed them all to me. Don’t worry about the fine. Can they even fine SecUnits?”

"No. Insurance covers SecUnit related damages." It responds. It hesitates a moment longer then slowly closes its hand. There is a crunch, then it opens to reveal the camera and looks down at it with wide eyes. Yeah, that's how they felt the first time they broke something intentionally to let out some steam.

“Does your room have cameras? The repair cubicle?” They ask it.

SecUnit looks back at them and its gaze met theirs briefly. Its voice seems to have a shift to it when it responds to them, slightly less flat. “Yes.”

Chapter Text

Gurathin was sitting at the main display screens in the common room, cobbling together the residual emergency beacon schematics that SecUnit had provided to Mensah to provide to him (it was avoiding him again, he knew it). The conversation about his unfortunate loss of control in the hopper had been less gruelling than expected, she was sympathetic to his concerns despite firmly disagreeing with them.

And instructing him to stay away from SecUnit as much as possible. He still feels the irritation gnawing at him. Why did Mensah trust it so implicitly? (The behaviour module agreed with her, informing him that his constant picking at it was turning into a form of self-harm.)

He forces himself to stop thinking about SecUnit and instead consider Leebeebee. His teammates had opened their arms widely to her, tolerating her Corporate Rim eccentricities as much as they had tolerated his. It was weird to watch from the outside, to see just how different they were from his home system and yet so understanding and forgiving as she moved between them with the SecUnit orbiting her.

Its the casual camaraderie that bothers him, he thinks. He saw her outside, Bharadwaj comforting her, hands rubbing her shoulders like she sometimes does to him when he is distraught and confused. It’s a perfectly normal human interaction, when has anyone from the Corporate Rim been able to have a normal human interaction? (When has anything from the Corporate Rim? The way the SecUnit followed her around, listened to her, responded to her as she treated it like some kind of human partner. His stomach twisted in nausea.)

He knows deep in his heart that they can’t trust anyone from the Corporate Rim, at best they should be using her back – whatever her goal is, if it was just standard corporate data theft or something more ominous – and then get rid of her as soon as possible. Ditch her to the company and not bring her back to Preservation as their new pity project. He doesn't trust her, he doesn’t trust it and he doesn’t trust himself.

(Pin-Lee’s voice echoes in his memory, their “You’re better than them” makes him want to rise to their statement and make it true.)

Leebeebee enters the common area carrying some of Arada’s samples, placing them on the center table before catching sight of Gurathin at the display screens. Her face rapidly goes through a range of expressions, before settling on a small polite smile. She approaches him, hands harmlessly behind her back and hips swinging.

“Fixing the beacon huh? Bharadwaj says you have a way to get us out of this shitty place?” Her voice is smooth and friendly as she hovers over his shoulder, trying to understand his schematics.

“It requires time.” He states this, dismissively waving a hand at the displays to swipe them away into a secure folder and switches to their inventory list. “And a secure HubSystem.”

Not that they had a secure HubSystem right now, between the sabotage and the SecUnit. And Leebeebee.

He reluctantly turns to face her, to keep her from hovering over his back. She isn’t followed by the SecUnit at the moment and he hates that this relaxes him a little. She’s not augmented, she’d need a direct connection to hack it.

“Where’s SecUnit?” He asks, “You’ve become very friendly with it.” He wants an answer to his questions that the SecUnit didn’t answer in the hopper.

Her smile doesn’t change, but something in her eyes seem to shift as they look over his face and he resolutely avoids eye contact.

“I’m very used to SecUnits, once the shock of it being-.” She hesitates, before waving off his question with a casual flick of her wrist. “Of it being rogue wore off, I could see what you guys meant, about it being safe.” Another hesitation.  “It is still safe? You said there was a remote override, it didn’t work did it?”

“No, it didn’t work.” He attempts to hide the implied ‘idiot’ in his voice, despite a part of him holding it as a concern too. Gurathin hopes not. The SecUnit disappeared so fast after they landed, joined by Ratthi while Ayda took him away to discuss the beacon. He didn’t have the time to pester it into running that full diagnostic then isolate it (shut it down, he wants so badly to remove one risk), which almost makes him as anxious as Leebeebee standing over him with that soft smile and hard stare.

He looks her over, tries another line of enquiry to open up some kind of flow of information between them that will get him the answers he needs. “Where did you say you were from in the Rim? I’d like to visit sometime.”

Leebeebee gives a laugh, wipes her nose. “Oh it’s much too nice for people like you, like me. They uh-.” Her eyes flick at his ears then his hands. “They wouldn’t let an augment in. I’m only there for my indenture, I don’t think they’ll let me stay when I finish it.”

An augment. He tries to hide his face tightening, keeps himself as neutral as possible. It was delivered so casually, he had forgotten what it felt like to be referred to that way. Not since he left the Corporation Rim and he’d grown used to the civility of Preservation about his conditions.

The bluntness of it has him leaning back in discomfort, feeling suddenly out of practice with this kind of interaction and looking away from her. She seems completely unaware that she is staring him down.

He’d forgotten how poisonous even a light conversation can be, as he searches for a response to continue his questioning. “You must have gotten some operational experiences with SecUnits, if you’re so concerned about the override. Or.” He stumbles, forces the question out. “Or concerned about its...emotional… impacts. Since you’re spending so much time with it.”

Leebeebee nods at him, then shrugs. “Yeah something like that. I have quite a way with constructs, you know? I like spending time with it.”

“Do you need to-” He hates this, he doesn’t want to ask it. It’s something Bharadwaj would want him to ask out of a place of sincere empathy and not out of an attempt to get interrogate someone. “Do you want to talk about it?” He chokes it out.

“Oh, I don’t think I’ll be needing your help with it. You had your chance with it and missed out.” She leans closer over him and rests her hand on his shoulder, her smile twitching up on one side. “It’s with me now, but I can talk to it for you if you’d like. See if I can get it to warm up to you?”

Gurathin blinks, a sudden wave of profound discomfort washing over him as she presses down. The implication was entirely different from what he’d been assuming. She genuinely wanted to involve him with it? The thought is profoundly disturbing and his stomach churns.

“No, you misunderstand.” That smile feels predatory when she looks at him, none of the warmth he got used to in Preservation. “I don’t think of it that way. It’s equipment, not that.”

He feels cold and her hand is heavy. Gurathin slides sideways away from her and stands up. “Excuse me. I need to check on something.”

“Oh sure, no problem.” She calls out lightly behind him as he flees the common room.

Chapter Text

SecUnit is emerging from the security repair room in its usual stiff manner. Beside it, Pin-Lee is animated, their hands gesturing wildly as they explain something.

Their voice isn’t loud enough for Mensah to hear, but they sound pretty happy about the topic and SecUnit seems to be actually listening and responding.

It is nice to see SecUnit slowly starting to come out of its armour and to see her team warming up to it in turn. It eases the knot that has been in her chest and gives her the optimism she needs to believe that they will all get out of this okay.

It doesn’t erase the knot entirely, the warmth at it socialising followed by the sting of concern brought on by the message in her feed waiting for her return.

(Bharadwaj 3:43 hours ago: I am concerned about a bruise on Leebeebee’s arm. She says it was an accident and I believe her, but SecUnit might need some help to understand that we’re different to the Corporate Rim and it listens to you. End Message.)

The priority on returning in the hopper had been to debrief Gurathin on the beacon schematics SecUnit had sent her, so she put it to the side until those more urgent tasks had been dealt with. Now with it in his capable hands, she found it was time she best address this before another crisis interrupted her or it spiralled into something more serious.

“Pin-Lee. SecUnit” She nods to Pin-Lee as she approaches, taking the time to ensure her voice is kept smooth and professional. “May I borrow SecUnit for a moment?”

Pin-Lee, ever keen, narrows their eyes at Mensah. They recognise her team leader voice quickly but do not voice their questions yet. She will have to field those later certainly. “Sure, sure. SecUnit was just done helping me.”

“Its so good to see you two getting along.” Mensah smiles at them both, politely looking over SecUnit’s shoulder. “Come with me please, SecUnit.”

“Yes, Dr. Mensah.” It responds.

She was intending to take it to the common room for this conversation, but had seen Leebeebee was in there as she approached the security ready room, prodding at that bruise while she played unsettling games on the display device.

She doubts SecUnit has been in this kind of one-on-one discussion before, she needed somewhere that would foster feelings of privacy and understanding.

She leads it back towards her own living quarters. She keeps the room tidy with minimal personal effects except for the holo of her family, her calligraphy set and a spare feed device. A few of their storage boxes are in her room, relocated so she could work on analytics at night when she was too anxious to rest.

She gestures to her bed opposite one of them. “Sit, please.”

It hesitates, looks between her and the door, then turns to clumsily lets itself fall before shuffling into the stiff position she is beginning to find endearing, hands on its knees and looking dead ahead. Its eyes seem wider than usual and she feels a pang of sadness as she considers how unused it is at sitting.

She sits down next to it and stares at her holo, reminded of when SecUnit helped talk her through her panic attack. It waits patiently for her to gather her thoughts.

(She remembered vaguely, part of it lost to the stress at the time, of trying to bring this up with SecUnit just as the beacon had exploded and tore the words away. Then it had been buried under the immediate need to protect her team and return with SecUnit to them. Since then the priorities had shifted, as they always do in a crisis. She wishes she had been able to take the time to prevent similar happening to Leebeebee.)

Mensah takes a deep breath and reminds herself of her leadership workshops and the place SecUnit is coming from. This isn’t an admonishment or punishment, this is about talking about it it to ensure safety and wellbeing of her whole team including SecUnit. To reach an understanding between the two of them while setting some boundaries like she had to with Gurathin. They were very similar in this way.

"SecUnit," She keeps her voice firm. "On the hopper, just before everything went wrong, there was something I meant to ask you."

SecUnit remains silent.

"I wanted to ask you." She repeats, keeping her gaze on her holo. “If you had ever hurt a client before."

It stares at the wall.

“After what happened with Gurathin, and now with Leebeebee.” She clarifies.

(That startling moment of SecUnit suddenly pinning Gurathin against the wall, its grip tight as it held him up by the throat. The strained look on her friend’s face as his augments disconnected then reconnected from the shock. It had been over just as quickly as it started, able to defuse it before further escalation, but leaving them all shaken.)

The silence that follows is long, but Mensah waits for it to speak. Sometimes she thinks she can see its thought processes as data flickering across its eyes. A fanciful thought, as she wonders what it is thinking and feeling.

“No.” SecUnit says, then it follows up with: “I don’t know.”

Mensah feels her shoulders droop as she considers how to approach this. Her initial reaction is a sting of betrayal that it doesn’t know the answer to what seems a simple question. She cautions herself and reminds herself of what she knows of SecUnit, of the things it has likely been forced to do, the abuse its undergone and the violence it has witnessed.

She is still learning, and recognises, that it likely does not understand these topics in the same way from her and is working off a different set of definitions and experiences. She thinks of its initial confusion when Ratthi greeted it, how it refers to itself and other SecUnits as damaged and never injured. Maybe for SecUnit “hurt” might mean irreversible damage to a human? Holding someone against a wall or bruising an arm would not compare to the things it has been forced to do and witness.

It’s an unsettling and upsetting thought.

"SecUnit." She says, letting her voice soften and warm up with the concern she feels for it. "I think I’ve been unfair to you without clarifying first. Its important with us Preservation people to make sure we’re all on the same feed. When I ask if you've hurt clients, I mean things like how you held Gurathin against the wall or where Leebeebee got that bruise on her arm."

“I didn’t hurt Gurathin.” SecUnit protests flatly. Mensah raises her eye brow at it.

“You slammed him against the wall, which scared him and the rest of us.” She pointed out as calmly as she could. “From our perspective, you hurt him. Not greatly, he didn’t need medical care, but it was hurt.”

Its head turned away from her to look towards a corner instead, its mouth tugging down at the corner. She hopes it is thinking.

“Did you hurt Leebeebee?” She asks, keeping her careful neutral tone in place  she doesnt want it to feel judged or defensive.

SecUnit’s mouth works for a moment around some words before saying: “I didn’t mean it.” Its arm comes up and scratches at its throat before returning to its place on its knee. The movement is unusual from someone usually so still, perhaps a sign of guilt or anxiety?

“You didn’t meant it?” She repeats it, tests the words in her mouth. Her heart is on a downward spiral as she tries to parse its meaning. “SecUnit, you should not be… physically restraining… your clients. In future situations you must use words to communicate what you are feeling.”

The air in her room is silent, except for the faint background hum of the habitats generator. Beside her SecUnit continues to look away into the corner, but it seems to droop at her instructions. She feels sympathy for the things it needs to unlearn and how confusing it must be. Gurathin had had similar struggles when he first arrived, granted not so physical, and she holds onto the optimism brought by how much he improved in time.

It must read her mind as it says. “I am not used to talking.” Which sends her heart on a new downward spiral and the corner of her eyes twitch in sympathy.

Her voice is dry as she looks past it. “I’ve noticed.” The communication struggles were obvious, from the short clipped sentences to the long silences before responding. Mensah considers that as a construct, a non-human, it was learning a whole new language and way of interacting. That as rogue, it was also learning new rules and freedoms.

She thought of how it was with Pin-Lee moments earlier and softens her voice, trying to make the empathy as obvious as possible. “I understand that this is new for you, SecUnit. I appreciate your honesty in this.”

Its head tilts towards her, a promising reaction she thinks, its eyes no longer wide and less fidgeting.

“But.” She watches it from the corner of her eyes for any reaction to her next request. “Hurting people, even accidentally, isn’t a solution. It's important not to lash out, even when you're frustrated, or confused, or when you feel your communication is failing. We can always talk about it.”

SecUnit remains still, she can’t get a read on the meaning behind its eyes widening or mouth curling down. She aches for it.

“And- I am asking you here- it’s not an order- but I’d like for you to apologise to her, Leebeebee.” Mensah continues cautiously, stumbling on her request before smoothing out. “I understand why you may not feel able to apologise to Gurathin, I acknowledge he has been antagonising you and I promise I have spoken to him about it much like I’m speaking with you now.”

She leans towards it at an angle, careful not to be too direct but it is important that SecUnit understands how Preservation deals with conflict. “And if you try to use your words and it still doesn't work- if you feel you're reaching a point where you might lash out- you leave the situation and contact me. Your job is to protect us against threats. My job as team leader is to facilitate between my team. It means I will come and help you. You don’t need to hurt to be heard, I will help bridge any communication difficulties you’re having.”

SecUnit fidgets again before going still. She lets it digest everything she just asked of it, lets it process. They sit together in silence for several minutes. At least she hopes they are sitting together in silence, and not that it is watching its media during such an important conversation.

“SecUnit?” She prompts it.

“Please wait while I search for that information.” It offers up to her in that tone she recognises from DeltFall, one of its default responses that sounds ever so slightly-off compared to its usual voice.

“You'll help?” It asks her. Mensah can feel the optimism bloom in her at its willingness to learn.

She nods at it encouragingly. “Of course.”

“Okay.” It responds.

That’s encouraging and she smiles in its direction.

Chapter Text

I was at the back of SupplyRoom 2.

I wanted to find a place to have some emotions about the humans where they couldn’t see me and interrupt my thought processes. I thought I had been doing a pretty good job of trying to work out what my emotions were, but then my hand scratched too hard at my throat (It has been doing that a lot) which made my performance reliability dip which then led to a very large wave of not caring. It was a comforting feeling as it got rid of the inconvenient emotions and quieted the organic parts down into a numb buzz.

So I switched to checking inventory and ignored my low oxygen alerts.

Part of the reason I had wanted to think about my emotions was because I had been getting used to my weird hippy humans, despite that it had only been 4 rest cycles since I had saved Bharadwaj (which was when they started being weird at me). They had been speaking with me, argued with me, looked at me (I didn’t like the looking at me, but the rest of it wasn’t so bad).

This cycle they had been especially weird after I returned in the hopper. Ratthi had asked for weapon lessons (I didn’t like having a gun in his hand but they kept finding their way into them anyway, so risk assessment calculated he would be less dangerous if I gave him basic lessons) and Pin-Lee encouraged me to destroy the cameras in the security ready room (it was disorientating to watch my hand squash myself, but it also felt very satisfying to eliminate the cameras). Bharadwaj wanted to talk to me about the bot socialisation and immigration modules they had on Preservation (this made me feel weird) and Arada approached me with lots of questions about SecUnits (I got so overwhelmed I sent her my manual that I had deleted from Hub System when they found out I was rogue).

The last interaction I had with one of my humans was with Mensah, who asked me to sit on her bed, which caused lots of disorientating fluctuations as my client label glitched and temporarily assigned her name as Leebeebee. She wanted to have more conversations like in the hopper (the first time, when the beacon blew up and I got impaled by the printer which later led to [redacted] in the security repair room) and I struggled with the talking back and forth.

I don’t know if I gave the right answers, but Mensah seemed pleased. Mensah valued talking and wanted me to talk more.

So that was all very weird.

Now that there was a normal human present, the weirdness of my hippy humans stood out even more to my pattern recognition systems. Throughout the cycle, I continued to feel an unbalanced amount of stress chemicals about it that refused to stabilise and continued to affect my performance reliability. I compared their interactions with me to Leebeebee and other humans (that I could remember after my latest memory purge) and sent this data to threat and risk assessment but my chemicals stayed at high levels despite this manual intervention.

It felt a lot like a persistent, low-grade system error located in my organics.

I needed the repair cubicle, which was another ongoing error as I couldn’t make myself approach it without a client order (I know I am a rogue and don’t need client orders but sometimes it is easier to do something I don’t want to do if someone tells me to do it first).

My thought processes were getting sluggish. Threat assessment and risk assessment kept tying them up and tagging the humans as [hostiles], so I would fix the tags back to [client] and dismiss the pop ups only for them to return again. My internal diagnostic system was compromised too, it insisted that my skin was fine except for some scratches. But I was also unusually aware of how the flower rubbed against my me (I wanted it out) and the slightest brush of any of my humans walking past me made the tips of my hands tingle. I kept trying to dial my sensors down but diagnostics said they were already down.

I really needed the repair cubicle. Every breath was forced around Error Code 4271 and would initiate a cascade of reduced oxygen alerts. I had tried taking deeper breaths but my performance reliability continued to decrease.

The rest cycle for the humans had started and if I went to the repair cubicle now, I should be fully repaired when they woke up. (I didn’t want to get into the repair cubicle, it made something in me twist. I think this was related to one of the emotions I was going to think about but I stopped caring before I reached it).

I replayed some of the moments in this cycle with the humans that had improved my performance reliability by a few percentages, but the recordings didn’t improve my it like I had hoped they would.

SecUnit, report location.

I flicked through my remaining cameras and found the ones in the corridor recording Leebeebee leaving the security repair room with a frown on her face. She pulled out her manual feed device and typed on it again.

SecUnit, report location.

I didn’t know what to do, I felt like I was stuck in stasis as I watched her move back and forth through the habitat. I dismissed threat and risk assessment as they teamed up on me and obscured my view of her as she left the habitat and approached SupplyRoom 1. My breathing had picked up as my organics increased their demand for oxygen around Error Code 4271.

SecUnit, report location.

It wouldn’t be long before she found me and my thoughts were running in irrational loops. (I didn't want to be near her. I didn’t know how to stop her. Mensah said I had to use my words.)

The closer she got to my location, the harder my circulatory pump worked which demanded deeper breathing. I zoomed in my external camera to watch her approach. Threat assessment was at an unmanageable level and I let it scatter across my inputs despite how difficult it made it to handle multiple processes at once.

The door to SupplyRoom2 hissed open and Leebeebee stopped in it. I stepped back.

I looked directly back at her even though it made my skin crawl. I didn’t want to look at her, I wanted to look at the wall or the exit behind her, but I had to look at her. It was the kind of internal conflict that made my throat try to constrict around Error Code 4271.

She looked back at me, her face was tense and her voice was soft. “There you are, I’ve been looking for you.” She said.

(I had a stray thought that it wasn’t fair. What wasn’t fair?).

I didn’t know what it meant that she could look so stiff, her lips a thin line and her brow furrowed, but sounding calm like Mensah. She had her manual feed device in her right hand and a hardwire in her other hand.

Threat assessment tried to spam me with pop ups again and I shoved it out of my feed to try and focus on Leebeebee. My performance reliability dipped and I felt slow as I waited for her to tell me what she wanted so I could leave.

“I’ve been trying to speak to you all day.” She leaned against the door which blocked it from closing. Her tone was mild and I struggled to catalogue that curve to her smile as friendly. “Have you been avoiding me?”

Having a client think I was avoiding them would be bad, so I said. “I am checking inventory.” Which was technically the truth.

“Is that so?” She straightened up and started to move towards me. (I watched the door automatically close behind her.) “The rest of the team seemed to keep you pretty busy today. Did anything interesting happen?”

She looked me over curiously, I didn’t know what she looked for. Her voice was still calm and my hand twitched. I didn’t know what she meant by interesting, maybe she wanted more gun lessons or to crush little cameras into pieces. I said: “No.”

When she came within a metre of me I felt myself involuntarily take another step back. That made her frown and I froze my legs.

Her hand came up to touch me and my meant-to-be-frozen legs took another involuntary step back. I was in the corner now and it reminded me of Pin-Lee yelling at me in the shower area. Leebeebee wasn’t angry or yelling like Pin-Lee was, but it felt the same. They had calmed down when I turned away from them to stare at the wall, but I didn’t want to turn away from Leebeebee. So I turned halfway and watched her from the corner of my eyes instead. It was an awkward angle to be in, I felt very small and un-SecUnit like.

“What’s this? Why are you being like this?” Leebeebee asked me. I struggled to think of an answer, but my mind derailed when she stroked her hand down my back. It was a deliberate and slow movement and I felt my stress chemicals spike so hard that I cringed away physically. She slid it upwards, traced my neckport then moved it back down my back and between my legs. I really wanted to leave.

I had been a rogue SecUnit for over 8,532 hours and I still didn’t know how to leave.

I replayed the recording of Mensah telling me: “You must use words to communicate what you are feeling.” Which wasn’t as helpful or soothing as I hoped, as I didn’t know what I was feeling or what words I should use. I didn’t know a lot of things, I’m not made to know things or to talk to people.

“My performance reliability is at 71%” I said, before I could finish processing what I might be feeling. I didn’t think buffer statements indicating that she was damaging essential security equipment was what Mensah meant, and I guess Leebeebee also thought that because she continued her slow stroking. She smiled at me, it is a small smile without any teeth, one side higher than the other.

“I’d like to leave.” I tried again, and that felt more like something Mensah would approve of, and her hand stilled on my neck. Even with sluggish processing I think much faster than a human and at her pause it doubled in speed at the hope that I had managed to ‘use my words’ and would be allowed to leave this situation. I am not an optimistic SecUnit but for a moment I hoped-

Leebeebee made a small huff of air at me, I think it was a laugh, and all that increased processing stalled immediately. It felt like I was trying to run my thoughts through a corrupted file. The pressure on my neck increased, her fingers digging into the join around my dataport the way she dug into my skin during [redacted].

My brain stalled so hard it went blank.

“On your knees.” My client told me. She pressed harder into my neck, pushed at me, and I slowly bent until I dropped. I kind of wanted to scream (I’ve never screamed before, but this felt like it would be a good time if I knew how to).

A connection opened in my mind.

“Let me see what you’ve got in here.” My client whispered behind me. It was like oil flooding through my system, searching for a preloaded range of topics from my behaviour modules to maps of the survey. I watched my decision tree copy itself through the hardline to her manual feed device, along with lots of other information in my systems.

That didn’t feel right, it reminded my of the override module and Gurathin scraping through my memory archives. I reached up to disconnect it and felt my client slap my hand away.

“None of that.” She said, and cut off my connection to my fingers. The organics on them had felt numb and cold since she opened the door, but now there was a hole where I should be able to connect to them.

I brought my hand around to stare at it and confirmed I still had fingers.

Then my vision and audio both cut out and panic lanced through me, set my organic chemicals to elevated levels. My client’s connection was scrolling through my settings and despite being a human she was somehow faster than me as I tried to follow her through my brain.

My skin tried to compensate for my disconnected inputs, the temperature readings and movement of the air as my client breathed over me were suddenly elevated in priority. Then just as quickly, even that input was gone and I floated in nothing but my own processes moving rapidly around me.

I wasn’t sure if I could move. I tried to move, tried to move my hand or just turn my head, but I couldn’t confirm if my connections were responding. I wanted to scream.

My vision and hearing came back on, dialled up to maximum input. So did my touch sensors and pain sensors. I went from floating in nothing to drowning in so much sensation that I think I went offline for a moment as my processing struggled to compensate. It was terrifying.

“-you named yourself Murderbot? Your name is Murderbot and you let me-” I was so disorientated that the words didn’t make any sense. I wasn’t on my knees anymore, I was on the ground on my side looking up at my client. My sensors were so sensitive that the floor felt like a heavy pressure squashing me from below, and I was keenly aware of the flower pressed into my ear. I hated that flower so much.

“Why won’t you react? SecUnit, respond!” I heard her so clearly that I felt like I was experiencing a headache for the first time. My audio receptors had sharpened, bringing everything into focus. I could hear her questions, and her breathing, and her heart. The hum of the generators around us, every movement of my client’s clothing as she kicked me. It shouldn’t hurt but it did.

I tried to focus on her face desperately, to follow her orders, but my eyes kept trying to move away. I was so confused, my inputs were a mess and my client was moving my inputs around.

“You’re rogue aren’t you? What is wrong with you, you stupid robot.” Was I? I felt blank underneath the sensory inputs overload. I think I was meant to be rogue, I didn’t know what that meant. What do rogues do?

Error Code 4271 flashed at me as I tried to increase my oxygen intake around the object in my throat. It felt like something was slowly tearing my head off from the inside. I wanted to get it out but it was meant to be there. My client wanted it there and I always followed my client’s orders.

“Stupid broken rogue algorithm. Get up. Prove it.” My client had moved to stand over my head and all I could think was that I didn’t want her fingers in my mouth again. I tried to raise my arms over my head to block her but they froze half-way. Not because she disabled more connections, but because I didn’t know what else I could do to stop her. I held Gurathin to the wall once, to show him that he couldn’t control me anymore. I didn’t hurt him but Mensah said that it counted as hurting and not to hurt people. Last time I tried to stop my client from touching me I hurt her. I thought I felt a wave of not caring approach but it turned out to be the despair wave. I didn’t know what to do.

“I’m sorry.” I tried to use my words the way Mensah wanted. “I’m sorry.” I said again.

My arm guns had reflexively charged up then stalled when I raised my arms to block my face, as they tried to find a hostile marker to target. My client looked down at me and her face would make a good SecUnit Neutral. Her copy-transfer of my files had finished. She did something in the feed and my guns started to overload and I think I tried to sob or turn away but mostly felt myself lose my balance.

(A small part of me was stuck in a loop. I kept thinking about how this was a wasteful use of resources and that her damaging me again would impact everyone’s safety unless I went to the security repair room. I really didn’t want to go in the security repair room.)

My pain sensors were breaking up, I didn’t know what pain was anymore.

It was just sensation. The only thing I registered-

UNIT OFFLINE

-was the pressure of a hand. Then I could feel the cool air on my face and on my upper body. My back was against something, cold and hard. It could be anything, I wasn’t sure if I was up or down or sideways or stationary or being moved. I tried to reach the feed to orient myself, but my system wasn’t taking in external information.

Each touch by my client was interpreted by a different input and scattered across my mind, elevated by the manual increase to my sensors. Sensations that lasted for only a second or two at a time but took up all my processing to categorise and archive in my logs. That moment of electricity overloading my sensors was my flesh being pinched and twisted away from my gunports. The molten metal being poured between my thighs was a singular nail slowly being dragged down. I shuddered violently when it dug in.

(I had a memory invade my vision, of standing in my repair cubicle as my client traced the edges of the puncture-

UNIT OFFLINE

-of my client’s hand inside my body twisting my wires, the agonising pain as she yanked-)

I became aware that I was making a sound around the obstruction in my throat. Or was it the new obstruction? Fingers scratched past my tongue to press down and Error Code 4271 screamed at me.

“-it hurt?” My client asked me a question but sound was breaking up again. “Does it-”.

My jaw flexed as I tried to speak around them, made a garbled noise. Frantic, I tried to force my mouth closed around the fingers.

There was a sensation as hands left my mouth and then a sudden destabilisation from an impact to the side of my head. That didn’t hurt, but it made my vision flicker on for a fraction before going offline again. I could feel the heat of her fingers as they traced the expression on my face.

I couldn’t move to respond.

UNIT OFFLINE

My vision came online. There was a chill across my exposed flesh (a lot of it was exposed). The forced resets had left my internal temperatures offline. I felt a wave of despair and fumbled with my settings, trying to force a shutdown. It was cancelled by my client’s hardwire.

I looked down, or up, I think it was down. I looked down to my client standing over me with the manual feed device (It was up. I looked up.)

She said something but my sound wasn’t online yet so I stared up at her. I didn’t want this. I really wanted to scream and I wanted her to stop and I didn’t know how to make that happen.

I felt terror eclipse the despair when her feed connection entered my governor module.

I tried to push her connection back out but the terror made it a harder process than it should have been.

She adjusted something and I felt a correction start in the base of my skull like a persistent vibration. I tried to say something, my mouth moved, but I don’t know if I made any noises. The correction intensified from involuntary spasms-

UNIT OFFLINE

-to an overwhelming flood of error messages.

I really hurt. My body convulsed on the ground and I choked around Error Code 4271. Something had overheated and burst inside me, the fluids bubbling up and out of my eyes and nose. My hearing was muffled.

Overheating warnings were layered on top of oxygen alerts and a huge range of technically-minor damage reports. They didn’t feel minor and I parts of my brain started to slow down to deal with them. The shutdown was-

UNIT OFFLINE

-just out of reach.

The room was blurry as I blinked my fluids away. My client loomed over me and I struggled to track her position as my inputs slowly reconnected themselves. (My ability to identify the time had shorted out but most of my functionality will start to automatically repair itself when given the time to do so. It’s an anti-sabotage measure.)

I was still on my back, pressed into the corner of SupplyRoom 2. I tried to reach for the cameras or the feed but that input hadn’t reconnected yet.

“Look at me.” I immediately locked on to her face while my organics begged about something. My client’s voice was calm and friendly, her expression was [satisfied].

“Can you still speak?” I didn’t know. Error Code 4271 was deep in my throat and pressed against my vocaliser. It is reinforced compared to a human, but it has its limits. SecUnits are generally reinforced against external damage not things like this.

I make a garbled, glitched sound up at her. Then tried again past the overwhelming panic, and managed to scrape out: “Yes.”

Then I sent it to her through the hardline just to make sure she could hear me. I think that worked, because she looked down at the display and made a noise.

“Murderbot. That's a stupid name.” Oh, she knew my name. “Tell me to stop. Say ‘Leebeebee, stop’.”

I had forgotten that was her name, that she wasn’t really my client. I struggled to get the words out: “Leebeebee, stop.” I lost some of my vocalisation on the end so I tried to repeat it through the hardwire but my connection fizzled out. I didn’t know what expression she was making but she had stopped damaging me and I wanted her to stop damaging me really badly.

Leebeebee paused for a second. “Tell me you don’t want this.”

I didn’t want this. I had been spoiled by my weird humans and now my organics were all freaked out and it impacted my overall processing. I really really didn’t want this.

“I don’t want this.” I forced it out around Error Code 4271 then I repeated it to the hardwire. Then again out loud again as a desperate impulse took hold. “I don’t want this. Please.”

Leebeebee leaned back and for a moment, I felt hopeful.

See, I could use my words.

Then her foot slammed down on my face. It plunged me into darkness for a nanosecond, then there was a flash of white as my visual filters malfunctioned and I was looking back up at her and the ceiling. My audio crackled its way back online to hear her voice. “-say it again.”

“I don’t-” I didn’t get to finish before she stomped on my face again. My buffer completed the sentence for me: “This unit is critical and should be returned to the nearest repair cubicle. Additional damage will warrant extra costs.” The buffer wasn’t impacted by Error Code 4271, it forced my raw throat to speak around it without sounding strangled. It damaged the tubing and I could feel fluids pooling in my mouth.

A weight on my chest as she straddled me. The only movement I could make was involuntary twitching. My brain was empty and I was stuck in a loop: “I don’t want this.”

I felt her hands touching me, they crawled along the edges of my organics and inorganics.

She shut down my eyes again through the connection. Then my audio. She turned my sensors up to maximum again and I think I tried to scream from how bad I didn’t want this.

I couldn’t hear myself.

“This unit is critical and should be returned to the nearest repair cubicle. Additional damage will warrant extra costs.” The buffer made fluids bubble out of me. I was lost in my own failing systems as error alerts piled up. Something was pressed against my mouth. I could feel her hands on my skin as she-

UNIT OFFLINE

Chapter Text

Mensah sorts through her feed as she prepares herself for the next round of negotiations with GrayCris. Pin-Lee hadn’t been able to find much information on them in the offline catalogues, and with HubSys still locked down that presented limitations in her preparation. She makes a note on the document to see if GrayCris would be open to an exchange of verbal knowledge for safe passage.

A pop up blinks into her feed, obscuring the document she was scanning. She was going to dismiss it as another unwanted company advertisement but the combination of its sparse contents and its sender address gave her pause.

Murderbot (238776431): “Yes”

She blinks at it in confusion. The unusual designation sends a tiny thread of unease through her. It doesn’t seem like it would align with the company’s spam and her first thought is that GrayCris must be hacking their habitat, reading her feed and responding to her notes.

Another pop up interrupts her thoughts. “I don’t want this.” And a cold lump forms in her stomach. “I don’t want this. Please.”

There’s no method to respond, the pop ups more of a notification than a message, and they start to stack up as she stares at them.

“I don’t-” She doesn’t get more than a glance at this one as its cut off by a familiar buffer message. “This unit is critical and should be returned to the nearest repair cubicle. Additional damage will warrant extra costs.” She fights down the familiar panic.

Mensah is on her feet and moving out of her room before she finishes reading it, her mind racing through partly remembered emergency protocols as she tries to reach out to SecUnit with a message packet only for it to immediately bounce back unread.

Another pop up from Murderbot (238776431) is in her peripheral:

I don’t want this.

Pin-Lee barely suppresses a yawn as they review the fifth draft for their formal complaint and demand for contract penalties. Arada, half-dozing beside them, mutters to disconnect the feed and join her in the itchy company blankets.

They’re considering it when the first of the pop ups erupts across their feed. They pause for a moment, searching their memory for why they recognise that number. It doesn’t take long to come to them, they haven’t memorised that many nine digits figures.That’s SecUnits registration number from the contracts they were just pouring over.

They bolt upright, jarring Arada awake, becausethat’s SecUnit’s registration number.

They start swearing as they crawl out of the bed, grabbing Arada and pulling her along. This was so not good, they needed to let Mensah know.

“What?” Arada says as she tumbles after. “What’s going on? What’s with the spam?”

More pop ups flood across Pin-Lee’s feed as they slide their door open and stumble out into the corridor, running into an equally wide eyed Mensah.

“It’s the SecUnit!” The words spill out of them as soon as they see her, louder than intended.

I don’t want this.

The words roll deeply through Gurathin’s augments, echo throughout his brain. He doesn’t want this. He doesn’t want lots of things, what doesn’t he want? He is struggling not to repeat it as they rip him from sleep. Catches the horrifying name of the sender and frantically tries to dismiss the rest so he can stumble out of his room to stare at Mensah’s door.

It is wide open and he can see no sign of her.

His mind is calculating even as his heart lurches. Where is she? He can hear Ratthi stumbling around in the room next to his but Pin-Lee and Arada’s door is open just as wide to an empty room. Where are they? Is there an attack? Did he hear someone calling for the SecUnit?

The common area’s motion detection lighting is activated and he throws caution to the wind as he barges towards it with Ratthi close behind. Then nearly collapses from relief when he finds Mensah, Pin-Lee and Arada standing unharmed and uninjured in the SecUnit’s (the Murderbot’s, he thinks uneasily) repair room.

He nearly collapses from the relief.

“Are you all right?” He asks, trying to level out his voice.

Mensah looks troubled, her face lined. “We’re fine. But-”

“Its SecUnit.” Pin-Lee cuts in. “The alerts are from it.”

Ratthi looks alarmed, hovers around them. “What do you mean these alerts are from SecUnit? Why would it-”

“Gurathin, please. Can you find SecUnit?” Gurathin hesitates as Mensah looks towards him, the pop ups still floating on the side of his feed where he shoved them. If they’re being attacked, the last place he wants the rest of them to be is near it. He could claim its tracker has malfunctioned.

“Please, Gura.” He couldn’t, not when she’s looking at him like that over a stupid machine. He flicks through to the trackers: Four with him. Bharadwaj and Leebeebee still in their rooms, although Bharadwaj’s seems to be moving towards the exit.

The SecUnit isn’t patrolling but is instead located outside of the habitat in the spare storage room. It’s an odd location for it to be, and he’s instantly suspicious at the departure from its usual patterns.

Mensah is looking at him, her face tense and tired. They have argued so much today, he worries if he keeps arguing with her, that he will push her too far into something irreparable.

“It’s in Supply Room 2.” He shares reluctantly, twists his hand to grab hers so she doesn’t run off ahead of him. “We need to be careful-”

Before he can finish, Ratthi is gone. Another pop up obscures his feed and he winces at the processing load to funnel it off to the side.

I don’t want this.

The habitat blurs past him as Ratthi sprints through, slamming into the door to force it open. The others are yelling at him to slow down, but he refuses to be useless like DeltFall again. He takes the turn too fast and skids slightly as he dodges around their trolley. Why don’t they ever pack that away? SecUnit is always telling them its a hazard.

Its pop ups are obscuring his vision but he lacks the skills to swipe them away while maintaining momentum, resolves to ignore them.

He reaches the door to the supply room and pulls it open, stumbles inside.

“Seccy?”

The room is already lit, yellowed and artificial as it reveals the rows of their spare storage and instead of SecUnit he sees Leebeebee with her back to him. The rest of it makes no sense. Ratthi recoils immediately.

She’s straddling something on the cold floor.

What.

Something twitching in uncoordinated movements, a wet garbled sound escaping it around an object in its-

That’s a gun.

His vision is blurring as he stares. The blood drains from his face and he’s instantly panicking. It washes over him. He feels like he has never thought this fast about so many things at once in his life, everything appearing in slow motion as an incoherent sound leaves his mouth.

Ratthi charges forward and lunges at her.

I don’t want this.

Arada is cursing in her head as she chases after Ratthi. He’s always been faster than her, and way more impulsive. Its part of why she was attracted to him, it reminded her of Pin-Lee. The bull-headed stupid brave parts of them.

She’s nearing the supply room when she hears the sound of an energy weapon and stumbles at the way her heart drops. It’s becoming a disturbingly familiar sound and she scrambles to put on another burst of speed.

“Shit, shit, shit.” It doesn’t help her run faster but it helps her feel better.

She skids through the open doorway and freezes, her breath catching.

The wall behind Ratthi looks like an abstract painting, blood and small chunks sprayed across it in a violent arc.

Ratthi himself is on his knees, the embroidery of his shirt splattered wet and dark, dripping down onto a tangle of bodies. It has to be Leebeebee, its kind of hard to tell without her head but the Preservation Aux survey uniform and her light build gives it away.

She’s not meant to be here, Arada thinks faintly. She’s meant to be in her room, not draped over a partly obscured lump and covering Ratthi in remains.

Ratthi still doesn’t move.

There’s a soft sound, a high pitched noise that reminds her of a malfunctioning cooling system in an older manual feed device.

It’s not Ratthi, who’s looking back at her with his mouth slightly open and eyes so wide she can see the whites as his hand hovers over the mess.

Despite the mechanical tone of it, she thinks of the educational documentaries she took when studying, the ones that showed all the different ways an organic lifeforms might demonstrate pain or fear. How some will run away, some will attack you, some will even attempt to befriend you. That all of them eventually will freeze when its too much.

Arada almost takes a hesitant step into the room but it turns into a stumble. Grabs the door frame to hold herself up.

I don’t want this.

Bharadwaj enters the supply room with Mensah and pulls Arada into her arms. The scene before her so unexpected that she accidentally grasps her too tightly, making her whimper.

The first thing she registers is that ghastly flower. Its bright petals draw her gaze where they scatter across the ground and flecked in fluids she doesn’t want to identify. Its so out of place its all Bharadwaj could focus until she reluctantly skims her eyes over the rest of the scene.

The rest of the flower is bruised and torn behind an ear, traces of fluids smeared into it. Anything was better than the sight of the armour pulled away from its torso.

There’s a body.

Her eyes slide sideways as she tries to focus on something other than Leebeebee. She doesn’t want to look at what is left of her, of how she is splattered across the wall, across SecUnit, across Ratthi. Its too much.

Bharadwaj’s mouth moves before she can finish processing the words. “You killed her?!” Her voice is loud in the room, echoes, as she keeps speaking. “You killed her? You killed her!”

It’s a reflex, her brain is grasping at the pieces, putting them together, but the horror and revulsion take over.

Ratthi flinches. His face gains a new hue as he stares back at her and then he is turning away with a choked sound to empty his stomach onto the floor.

I don’t want this.

Mensah’s gaze sweeps over the room, taking in Bharadwaj’s arms around Arada, Ratthi vomiting in the corner over some shapes she doesn’t immediately make out, until she does and then she freezes. The cold lump that has been in her stomach spreads throughout the rest of her.

She forces herself to take it all in even as it takes her breath away.

SecUnit is on its back, jammed into the corner, straddled by Leebeebee’s headless body. There are fluids seeping from its torn mouth as it makes an awful wheezing noise. She can just make out the eyes staring upwards out of its ruined face, flickering as the messages continue to pile up in her feed. Did it even know it was sending them? She lets them pile up.

Even collapsed as it was, she could see small repetitive twitching movements as its hands opened and shut, trying to hold something. Or reach out. Or maybe they were scratching at the ground.

It gives a full body spasm, a sudden and violent convulsion, the only movement in the room. It makes a different sound as it does so, wet and muffled, more fluids bubbling out of its open mouth. A whimper or a groan, she can’t tell.

Its armour is unzipped and pooled around its waist to reveal scratches and shallow lacerations running down its side, stark against the exposed synthetic skin. (Mensah knew how hard it was to puncture and she swallowed back the nausea of carving similar lines into its back only a couple of cycles before).

That was different, SecUnit had asked for that, she hadn’t wanted to hurt it.

She keeps assessing it, ignores the way her hands shake and her breath speeds up. There were other scratches and marks on its chest, spattered as it is with Leebeebee’s blood. There’s a subtle difference in hue between the SecUnit’s blood and a human’s.

It’s hundreds of small things falling into place all at once like a physical blow and she forces herself to take a breath.

Then another, tries to breathe SecUnit’s crystal air.

This is her fault. She knows it even as she wants to panic. Tries to gather herself, to be the person her team needs, the person SecUnit needs.

All she manages to say is: “Oh no.”

I don’t want this

A spasm rips through him as the last of his protein meal hits the floor, leaving his throat raw. Ratthi is trembling as he leans over the bodies and tries to pull himself together. To remember the grounding exercises, to count the things he can see but all he can see is SecUnit convulsing next to him (one), its mouth working as it tries to speak (two), the rest of the body that is slumped over it (three), the gun in his hands (four), the blood that is splattered against the wall (five).

He can hear it trying to speak and its just incoherent noises (one), he can hear Bharadwaj yelling at him and refusing to enter the room (two), the way Mensah’s breathing is so harsh and fast (three), his own gagging noises (four).

He can feel the blood on him (one), the way one of SecUnit’s hands will sometimes twitch in a way to knock against his knee (two), how very cold it is in the supply room (three).

It smells like blood (one) and oil (two).

He can taste her in his mouth.

He gags again.

Tries to speak, to tell Bharadwaj that he didn’t mean to kill her.

He just wanted to get her off SecUnit, he just wanted to stop her, to pull the gun away from its mouth and he had felt such instant relief when he had managed to do so. When he embraced her from behind, had managed to pull her arms back and up-

And then her head was gone.

Ratthi’s hands shake as he numbly tries to put the gun down, then remembers SecUnit’s lessons only a few hours earlier. He fumbles with the dial, its slippery, and tears start to come as he struggles with it. Hot, useless, tears that mix with the blood on his face and in his mouth.

He feels sick again and hunches over the gun that won’t let him turn the safety back on. SecUnit told him to always enable the safety before storing the guns but he couldn’t remember how.

I don’t want this

“Who the fuck was she?” Pin-Lee’s voice cracks as they break the silence of Ratthi’s gasping and apologies. Their voice, loud as they try to hold back the laugh of disbelief at what they’ve stumbled into, kickstarts everyone in to movement.

Arada moves first, their partner is immediately on her knees beside Ratthi. Her expression tight as she grabs Leebeebee and, with a strangled whimper, she rolls her off SecUnit. Pin-Lee struggles against the numb horror they’re feeling to stumble over to her, rests their hand on her.

There’s a manual feed device resting on its chest with a thin hardline, almost invisible in the blood, connecting it to SecUnit. The device is throwing up a range of different settings and changing numbers. They don’t feel good about what that could mean.

The laugh they had been holding back bubbles up from their throat, a sound of pure disbelief. "What the fuck?" Were they just DeltFall all over again? Another type of override to get SecUnit to kill them? Then what is the rest of it? It makes no sense.

Pin-Lee barely registers Ratthi continuing to gag beside them.

I don’t want this

He tries to take the scene in but the feed bombards him with the messages incessantly. Gurathin can feel a migraine coming on as he stumbles over to join the small crowd around the SecUnit’s body. His foot catches on Leebeebee’s splayed arm and he cringes, recoils from her even as he drops down opposite to Arada and Pin-Lee. (His behaviour module definitely doesn’t have support for that, not that he could read its input behind the incoming messages.)

His head aches.

He really wants them to stop coming.

Gurathin fumbles at the manual feed device, tries to grasp it without touching the SecUnit’s cold skin from where it takes deep struggling breaths. Manages to snatch it up and pulls the screen to himself.

Leebeebee has clearly played havoc in the process of disabling it. It’s a collection of submenus of the SecUnit’s sensory inputs and other settings. He doesn’t need to be familiar with SecUnits to see what a mess it is, there’s lots of helpful red error messages floating around each one. It’s so obviously a mess that the cold dread he was fighting off returns, familiar and unwelcome. What if it’s a trap? What if she wanted them to find the SecUnit like this and to undo her changes, only for the hidden trap to reveal itself? More of the messages pop up in his augments.

Ratthi is sobbing behind Arada, an unfamiliar gun held in his hands. Pin-Lee is yelling at him to fix it while Mensah approaches, her hands clean of the blood he can feel seeping into his pants. Her face is tight and stressed, her eyes looking at him questioningly. “Gura?”

He still hesitates and he hates a little bit of himself for it.

Gurathin takes a breath and shoves the paranoia down, flicks through each of the input settings and toggles the SecUnit’s disabled inputs back on, lowers the sensors and chemical controls back down to baseline levels. He didn’t realise how much of its organics were still controlled by code.

With a final exhale, he unplugs the hardline from the manual device. Instantly the loop of cascading messages stops and he feels an almost dizzying sense of relief.

I don’t-

Bharadwaj holds her breath as SecUnit’s constant twitching and shuddering finally slows down. A wave of relief goes through her, loosens some of the horror that has been taking over as she tried to look everywhere but directly at it. It’s not nearly as damaged as it was when it saved her, but she doesn’t want to look at it.

Instead, she watches as Gurathin pushes himself up and away from SecUnit, backs away a few uncertain steps to fold in on himself. She aches to go to him, to rest her hands on his shoulders in comfort, but is keenly aware of how crowded the corner of the supply room is getting. How she would need to step past Leebeebee’s body and stand over SecUnit.

For a long moment SecUnit is still, she wonders if it has shutdown, then its head turns to scan over them all.

Its a clumsy movement that starts from Gurathin, who immediately looks away, then pans over the rest of them. She flinches when the wide eyes, its damaged face, pass over her without pausing to then eventually land on the spot where Leebeebee’s head would have been. It reminds her of when it loaded up after they removed the combat override, its body mostly still as it looked around. As it passively laid there under their gaze.

She wonders if SecUnits can experience trauma. She hopes not, but she has a shaky feeling on what the true answer might be as it keeps staring.

“It’s okay SecUnit.” Mensah says, her voice soft and reassuring, warmth against the cold horror. She kneels next to it, her hand reaching out as a gesture of comfort.

SecUnit flinches away from her. “Don’t touch.” It says in an odd tone, and the horror in Bharadwaj’s stomach twists again.

Mensah draws back instantly, her hand dropping. “Of course, of course.”

“Don’t touch.” SecUnit repeats it again from the ground as its hand comes up to rub at its throat and it avoids looking at any of them.

She watches as Mensah’s face struggles to remain calm, repeats the reassurances back to it that nobody here will be touching it. She looks incredibly upset and Bharadwaj wants to go to her, to all of them, to get them all into an embrace. SecUnit doesn’t seem reassured and repeats itself again insistently.

Don’t touch.

They were used to SecUnit being unsettling still - blank-faced and avoiding eye contact while it monitors all their data. Motionless without any indicators that it was alive.

This SecUnit is terribly alive, its breathing noticeable and ragged as it lays in the corner and hunches its trembling shoulders.

Pin-Lee swallows hard. Only a few hours ago they had also cornered it and yelled at it. Shouted at it about cameras and thought that this was the only way to get it to respond.

“Fuck.” It’s aimed at themself and they immediately regret saying it out loud as SecUnit’s flinches then looks upwards at them. It doesn’t look so blank, with the eyes as wide as they are and the mouth torn up. The fluids streaking its face make it look like its covered in tears.

They are so busy staring back at it in horror that they don’t notice the way its hand had come up to scratch at its throat, then starts to peel back its skin.

“Oh shit.” Ratthi recoils next to them. Arada makes a choked off noise as Mensah lunges forwards then stops herself, hovers her hands over it with a distressed “SecUnit!”

SecUnit wasn’t stopping. Its fingers dragged the layer of skin down its neck, revealing some kind of mesh and skeletal structure. There wasn’t any blood, but the way it pulled apart looked so wrong.

“It’s malfunctioning!” Gurathin hisses from behind Mensah. “We should get away from it until it stabilises.”

Pin-Lee leans forward then to join Mensah in hovering uselessly. Its not just that SecUnit is stronger than them, but that it had made it very clear it didn’t want to be touched. Their mind works frantically as they try to work out if peeling back its own skin is a normal alarming SecUnit thing or cause for self-harm intervention.

They thought about it for too long. SecUnit grips the inside of its throat and wrenches sideways, exposing more of its tubing. Behind them Bharadwaj gasps. Now there is blood and fluids.

It shoves its hand into its throat, the other one digging into the fluid smeared floor while Pin-Lee chants out stream of horrified fucks over it. They try to ignore Ratthi gagging and hyperventilating in Arada’s gasp behind them.

Mensah has clearly given up on respecting its desire not to be touched and rests a hand over the one in its throat. “SecUnit, SecUnit listen to me. I need you to let go of your throat. Please.” Pin-Lee has no idea how she can sound so calm as SecUnit rips its throat apart in front of them.

It clenches its hand into a fist and there’s an unsettlingly loud crunching sound that reminds them way too much of the camera destruction, right down to the hollow popping sound.

SecUnit freezes.

Then it lets Mensah slowly pull its fist out of its neck. Lets her open up its fingers to reveal the shattered remains of one of the trackers. Its voice is still there, but it is strangled and distorted.

Don’t touch

She watches as Mensah slowly lets go of its hand, holds both her hands up to show SecUnit that she’s not touching it. Arada can see the faint tremor in them.

“You need medical treatment.” Her voice is all controlled concern. “If there’s-” She stumbles a bit and Arada grabs at Pin-Lee’s shoulder in front of her in sympathetic reflect. “If there’s anything else you need removed, we can do it there.”

SecUnit tries to speak around the gaping wound in its throat and Arada can see the way its internal components move as it doe so. “No cubicle.” Is what she’s pretty sure it says.

“Right, no cubicle, we can use MedSystem.” Mensah agrees, her voice getting strained as she tries for a reassuring smile. “You haven’t lost as much blood this time.”

“I don’t like the cubicle.”

Arada feels Pin-Lee flinching under her arm as SecUnit volunteers the information. She rubs at their shoulder reassuringly. Tries to rub the general horror and numbness of the situation away as she looks over at SecUnit.

It hasn’t tried to get up, even with Gurathin disabling whatever Leebeebee did to it in the first place, and she feels that original concern come back. She leans further forward to look at it, watches as its eyes flicker fast and frantic between all of them.

“Is it okay?” Bharadwaj asks from where she’s blocking the door, breaking the silence and leading to all of them talking at once. Ratthi at SecUnit’s shoulder trying to joke weakly with it while Mensah encourages it to get up. Pin-Lee swearing to themself under their breath about how they should have known as they continue to hover over it. It’s a rising sound of questions and strained reassurances as it dawns on Arada and she thinks: oh shit.

SecUnit lays on the ground utterly still beneath all of them as they argue over the top of it. It’s on its back with its armour opened, skin and wounds exposed. (She thinks again of the ways organic lifeforms will freeze when the fear is too much.) Its eyes are darting back and forth at increasing speeds as everyone speaks faster and louder, trying to be the one heard.

“Everyone, back up!” Arada’s voice cracks as she tries to channel her inner Mensah, “Give it some space!” There's silence as they stare back at her in surprise.

Then there’s apologising as everyone catches on to what she realised, Pin-Lee shooting back to knock into Ratthi as he uses the wall to pull himself up. Mensah folding back smoothly and agreeing. “Of course, great idea Arada. Let’s all back up and give SecUnit some space.”

Don’t touch

Gurathin presses himself back further against the shelving, his face ashen, as he stares down at the remains of his tracker in the SecUnit’s hand. It was just meant to be a way to ensure he always knew where everyone was. Not a-

His thought cuts off as Mensah bumps into him and he clutches at her arm in reflex, his fingers digging into her sleeve.

Gurathin swallows, then swallows again when it doesn’t get rid of the lump in his throat. It was pissing him off, constantly fidgeting and moving in the corner of his eyes after being eerily silent and still for so long. It was a change in its behavioural pattern and he hates when there’s a change in expected behavioural pattern. Its his job to monitor changes.

He hadn’t even paused to consider where the tracker was, when he tracked it down to the repair cubicle and found it shutdown and out of its armour. He’d overlooked that. Maybe if he’d taken a moment to think about that, to ask it about its low performance reliability or its error code-

It’s just a machine, he tries to convince himself weakly, but he doesn’t need his behaviour module to intervene. He knows its a poor argument without looking at it collapsed on the ground, with the very specific type of injuries marking its chest. It makes him squirm, as he purposely doesn’t think about his earlier conversation with it, tries to shove that out of his mind.

Clutches the manual feed device in his other hand, and all the submenus he had reset back to default settings. What the full breadth of each of those settings mean with their disturbingly organic-labelled names of sensory input, hormonal levels, chemical levels, the one clearly marked as a pain sensor.

They’re not meant to feel pain, he thinks faintly. Not really, the governor module is just there to enforce obedience, to make sure the neural organics follow their programming. It wasn’t pain. (Except, the manual governor module correction was toggled on without any auto-turn off feature. It shared a submenu with the pain sensor and a bunch of chemical levels. It looked a lot like a device for making pain. The SecUnit on the ground with marks downs its chest and a hole in its throat looked a lot like it was in pain. The trembling of Mensah under his hands, the way she held her hands to her mouth and took shaky breaths looked a lot like pain.)

This wasn’t what he wanted. His eyes are burning.

He wanted certainty that it couldn’t hurt them, some kind of way to control it that wasn’t in the hands of the company. Mostly, Gurathin just wanted it gone, the SecUnit boxed up like the defective malfunction object it was and sent back to the company so he didn't have to think about it. (Something about his thought-process makes it through to the behaviour module, and it prompts him to rethink his internal narration.)

His eyes are burning as he clutches harder at Mensah’s arm, glares at SecUnit furiously for suddenly becoming so very real to him.

(He remembers how he had cornered it in the common room, how he had asked it what it was like to be it. It had said it didn’t know, but it hadn’t shown any emotion then. Except he now thinks that it had, it was all in the eyes even when he was ordering it to maintain eye contact. He just hadn’t seen. Gurathin can see it now.)

SecUnit’s eyes are wide, the pupils dilated to pinpricks, the synthetic skin around them tight as they track back and forth between all of them. There’s a slight furrow to its forehead as it finally starts to move. It drops the remains of the tracker and uses its hands to push itself upwards and away from Leebeebee’s body. It’s leaning against the wall for support, and Gurathin isn’t surprised that it is still struggling to regain connection to the inputs that were disabled. It’s not nearly as damaged as it was when it was rescuing Bharadwaj, although the fluids dripping slowly from its mouth and throat make a ghastly image.

Then suddenly it slumps, goes crashing back down to the ground.

UNIT OFFLINE

Chapter Text

They all flinch as it crashes in front of them and she forces down her instinctive urge to rush forward. Instead, Mensah clenches her hands at her side. It needs space, not their crowding.

(She has a flash of it collapsing in the hopper. She has to wonder how that was only two cycles before. She had dragged its heavy weight across the floor then, opened its gunport and connected it to the hopper’s lubricant system.)

She didn’t need to do that this time, she doesn’t need to drag it anywhere. It’s not dying. They know what’s wrong with it. It’s not dying.

Everyone starts speaking again, talking over each other in varying volumes of panic and horror. Bharadwaj gives a sob and she’s not even sure how to describe the sound Arada makes. Mensah’s own stomach is turning, she’s so upset with herself. She doesn’t know how this happened. She doensn’t know how long this has been going on for or what she could have done to prevent it. Mensah had thought that she understood it and had developed a rapport with it, yet right under her leadership it was still coming to harm.

“We should get it to the cubicle.” Gurathin interrupts her thought with his shaky comment, looking down at SecUnit’s stationary form with a twist of his lips.

So Mensah is surprised when Pin-Lee rounds on him, their face flushing with distress. “It doesn’t want the cubicle!”

She’s even more surprised when Gurathin snaps back, his voice raising even as he curls away from them. “It’s offline! It won’t feel it! It doesn’t-” He cuts himself off and Mensah is selfishly glad he didn’t say what she feared he was thinking. Knows how damaging her dear friend can be with his tongue.

She wonders if any of this is even repairable, the way they are falling apart. Her hands would not stop trembling.

Pin-Lee is already enraged, temper flaring as they turn to face him, Arada grabbing at their arm to intervene, “You can’t put it in the fucking cubicle! It hates it!” They’re almost shouting, voice shaking as they start to rub at their eyes. Ratthi is cringing away from the yelling while Bharadwaj approaches.

“Hang on-” Mensah goes to calm them but Gurathin yells over her at Pin-Lee. “It’s a SecUnit, we can fix it by-” But he backs up when Mensah turns to him instead to firmly grab at his hand.

“It just said-” Pin-Lee is panicking in Arada’s grasp, “There’s emotional costs to using the cubicle-”

They’re all panicking, herself included.

She forces herself to take a breath.

Bharadwaj joins Gurathin, but her gaze is on Leebeebee’s body with a disturbed look on her face. “Did she have to die?” She asks, it doesn’t seem to be a thoughtless accusation this time but Ratthi cracks anyway.

“Look at it!” He’s not yelling, but his voice is loud and panicky as he gestures at SecUnit. “If you saw what she was doing to it, you’d shoot her too!”

She glances back down at it in reflex, the stillness of its body, the injuries, and her heart lurches again. The types of injuries, their locations. The picture in her mind she desperately doesn’t want to acknowledge. Mensah is going to remember how it looks in this moment for the rest of her life, as she deconstructs every mistake she made as its survey leader to bring it into this situation.

She should have advocated harder against having a SecUnit on the survey.

Except, then they would never have met it and it would be on another planet with no choice but to follow orders. They still have a chance to help it.

“I didn’t mean to shoot her.” Ratthi is barely audible as he retches again, “I’m glad I did.” His expression is a mixture of horror and relief that she understands all too well.

(She remembers how easy it was to stab the SecUnit at DeltFall. The sudden burst of adrenaline to step forward and stab the mining drill into its back. The quick and immediate sense of relief when it fell and didn’t get back up. That moment when she saw SecUnit looking up at her from the ground. Was it the adrenaline that led to her throwing up? Or the relief to have saved SecUnit? The horror to have killed someone so quickly? Someone she knows had no choice in the matter and yet she felt something positive to have killed it. She’s glad only SecUnit saw that.)

Mensah swears at herself. SecUnit needs her to get it together. Everyone needs her to get it together. Her regret and shame over the situation shouldn’t stop her from responding to the situation right now. Panicking at each other isn’t going to help SecUnit.

She takes a shaky breath and thinks of SecUnit’s soothing crystal air. It’s oddly effective.

“We need to calm down.” She lets go of Gurathin’s hand to step back towards SecUnit.

Mensah ignores how her hands still shake, takes another breath, and assesses each of them as they stare back at her: Ratthi’s face a mixture of blood, sweat and snot - his shirt stained and ruined. Pin-Lee and Arada in matching gritted teeth, holding on to each other, blood and fluids on their knees and hands. Gurathin turning in on himself, away from the entire scene but she sees how his eyes keep glancing past her to SecUnit and the ways his face twists in distress each time. Bharadwaj noticing and resting a hand on Gurathin despite the tears she keeps trying to wipe away. SecUnit, crumpled beside her.

She’s never seen her friends in such a state with each other, to be falling apart like this. They’ve never been in a situation like this, they hadn’t even practices training scenarios for something like this. It is so outside their realm of experience. She doesn’t think she’s imagining the shared horror, disbelief and regret as she meets their eyes.

She will help all of them through this.

“We’re not putting it in its cubicle.” She feels her voice firm up as she take another purposeful breath. Thinks of crystals and implausible plots. She’s got this, she’ll get them through the crisis and have a breakdown about it later. “SecUnit was clear that it doesn’t want the cubicle and so we won’t. It has a right to determine its own method of medical care.”

Mensah knows she could override its request, could probably coerce or force SecUnit into the cubicle. It’s her signature on the contract, and she’s seen how SecUnit takes the contract very seriously, despite its rogue status negating its presence as an enslaved part of the inventory.

She couldn’t though, not after seeing where its compliance has led it. She had to be so very careful not to force it.

Another breath, she makes this one deeper and more obvious for the others to see. Hopes that they find it soothing. “We can’t undo what happened to Leebeebee. Nobody blames Ratthi. We can- we will talk about it later.”

By later she meant much later, after she’s checked in on each of them individually and gotten them off this shitty planet and processed the appropriate forms for trauma module treatments for all of them. She doesn’t want SecUnit to be subjected to their discussions and speculations, and was keenly aware that it likely knew about the speculations on its interactions with Leebeebee the others already had. Her heart jumps at the thought of the secondary trauma that has likely happened. And she considers enrolling SecUnit in the trauma module treatments too.

She notes this idea down in her feed as she continues telling her team what they were going to do. They were copying her breathing. “We won’t move it while its offline. It’s not dying. We’ve seen it damaged worse than this more times than I’d like to think.” Physically damaged, that is. There’s no way to know how much of today was normal for it, or how often it has been hurt by its clients only to continue working without rest. She purposely forces those thoughts out of her mind and focuses on the now: “We will wait for it to come back online and help it using MedSystem.” ”

They stare back at her solemnly and she lets herself have another regretful look at its shutdown form as the others start nodding in agreement. The air is silent with their almost synchronised breathing, and she sends a mental thanks to SecUnit for its soothing episode.

“What was she doing to it?” Arada speaks first in a subdued tone.

Ratthi is just as subdued in his reply. “It’s pretty obvious isn’t it.”

“No, I meant why was she-” Arada trails off back into silence. Mensah glances at SecUnit again for any sign it was coming back online.

Bharadwaj opens her mouth then hesitates before powering forward. “Do you think this has been happening the whole time? Has she been hurting it and we just didn’t notice?”

(Mensah thinks of how often she had seen Leebeebee touching it, holding its hands, leaning into it, tugging it along. How she had wondered if perhaps it preferred that. How she had thought the change in behaviour from it was an improvement and a sign of it bonding with them. Wonders what had happened to lead to SecUnit touching Leebeebee back and bruising her. Shuts that thought down.)

Arada is leaning back into Pin-Lee’s arms. “No, I mean. Why was she doing that? Why couldn’t SecUnit stop her?” She sounds upset and Mensah blanches at the direction the conversation is going. A conversation they probably should have had as soon as SecUnit was found to be rogue, or perhaps as soon as they realised they were being given a SecUnit in the first place. She’d fallen into the trap of regarding it as equipment despite her concerns. Another regret for her list.

“I think we’ve all noticed that SecUnit struggles with communication. And expressing itself. It’s been subjected to years of forced labour, violence and-” She hesitates as she glances down at it again, feeling odd to be talking about it as if it wasn’t in the room. “- and abuse. It’s going to struggle with advocating for itself.” She pauses for emphasis. “SecUnit has shown us how durable it is physically, but emotionally – its understandable and we need to show it that it can trust us on this. That it can trust us to respect its agency.”

She sees Gurathin open his mouth to say something then grimace and closes it. She’s relieved that he doesn’t say what he is thinking, that she doesn’t have to navigate another potential argument. Then she feels regret at her relief. She makes a note in her feed to speak to him alone later, they had so much to talk about and she should have spoken to him cycles ago.

Mensah warms her voice as much as she can, tries to convey encouragement to them that they’ll get through this. “We’re going to help bridge that gap. I know I’ve- I’ve made lots of assumptions about it. I’m going to have to reckon with that too. But for now we need to listen to it, and when we’re not sure, ask it.” She winces at her admissions of failure, they need her to be strong as their survey leader and yet here she is failing them. “We haven’t given it much of a reason to trust us.”

Her eyes drift to the offline body again as she wonders how long it will take for it to come back online. She can see the faint movement of its chest has it breathes, quiet despite the horrifying hole in its neck. The thought of leaving it alone in the room, to come back online without them in a pile of its own fluids, immediately makes her grimace.

The questions have died out as they all stand around quietly, shifting and sniffing. Subdued sounds of distress as they each sort through their thoughts. So many regrets lurking in the back of her mind that she’s not ready to dwell on, regrets best saved for when she was alone in her room and could properly let her hands shake and her breathing stutter instead of the calming tempo she is doing for the others.

“Bharadwaj.” She says her name softly, cutting through the silence and Bharadwaj looks up at her, startled from wiping her eyes again. “Would you mind getting MedSystem started up? See what options it has to help us repair SecUnit’s wounds. Manually override it if you have to, do whatever you need to do to make it help SecUnit as much as possible. Can you do that for me?”

Bharadwaj looks uncertain, but after a glance behind Mensah, she straightens up. “Of course, right, of course.” She pats Gurathin’s arm then she hastens out of the room without a glance back, likely relieved to have a task to put her energy to.

Gurathin takes a deeper breath and she braces herself for an argument. She firms up her resolve and her heart. She’s prepared to turn him down again, she doesn’t want to and she will endeavour to be as gentle as possible, but the situation was well and truly beyond his fears of SecUnit now.

“Mensah, I just wanted to-” His voice is strained, “I’m sorry I wasn’t paying attention, I was worried-” He cuts himself off then starts over. “I should have noticed, it tried to tell me but I was too-”

“Gura.” Her heart melts as she cuts him off. “Gura. It tried to talk to me too. I was lax in my role and you’ve all suffered for it.” She has failed them all terribly. “This doesn’t rest on you.”

He nods at her uncomfortably and avoids her eyes. “I should go help Bharadwaj. I can try and get MedSystem to accept it.”

“Thank you, Gurathin.” She says, “I know you’ll be able to help.”

She stand there with the rest of them, an awkward and uneasy cluster standing around the two bodies – one offline and one very dead. At first she couldn’t stop looking at SecUnit, but now she finds that her eyes are drawn to Leebeebee.

“I can’t touch her again.” Arada says, shifting back and forth. “But we can’t leave her there.”

“Not for SecUnit to see.” Pin-Lee finishes for her. They all stare at the body uneasily.

“Okay, okay. Yeah.” Mensah starts in surprise as Ratthi wipes his mouth again, then leans over to grab Leebeebee’s nearest limb and starts dragging her away from SecUnit. Pin-Lee joins him, and together they relocate the body to a corner of the room. Ratthi hovers over her body for a moment, then unties the hoodie from his waist and covers her head. He mutters something to himself as he does so, and Pin-Lee pats his shoulder comfortingly.

They’re quiet together this time, and Mensah marvels at how unusual it is for them all to be together and to be quiet. Pin-Lee and Arada are having a quiet whispered conversation with each other, while Ratthi curls in on himself. She’s worried about him, but can see Arada’s arm lightly touching his side, comforting him.

They all jump as SecUnit’s body comes online with a jolt. “I don’t want a cubicle.” It says, then turns its head to look at them. Its voice is still strangled around the unsettling hole in its throat, but if she listens carefully she can follow along.

“Oh thank deity.” Ratthi sags into Arada as it speaks.

“You’re not going in the cubicle.” Pin-Lee says at the same time as Mensah says, “There’s no cubicle.” Its not frozen this time, already moving as it starts to pull itself up against the wall. Slower than before.

“Bharadwaj has gone to get MedSystem started, we’re going to get you fixed up.” She continues.

SecUnit manages to pull itself up entirely, faltering a couple of times but Mensah sticks her hand out to block Pin-Lee and Ratthi’s automatic reflex to step in closer to help it up. Instead, they all hover around it uselessly as it struggles.

Ratthi makes a deeper voice in his throat and tugs at Arada’s arm. She follows his eyes to see where its uniform has slipped even more and the deep angry scratches that go lower between its thighs. She feels her mouth tighten as she looks back up at it.

SecUnit is looking around warily from where it leans against the wall. “Where’s Dr. Gurathin?”

“He’s with Bharadwaj, he’s helping her get MedSystem sorted to recognise you so we can fix the hole in your throat and-” She hesitates on how to phrase it, “Any other injuries you have.”

She is such a fool.

SecUnit doesn’t respond, its looking over Pin-Lee’s shoulder at Leebeebee’s body in the corner. She thinks she was expecting it to make some kind of expression, or say something, do something more human like the rest of them. But its face is carefully blank as its eyes flick over the body then back to them. It doesn’t share what it is thinking.

“Are you alright?” She asks it, knows it isn’t alright but asks it anyway.

It straightens up and Mensah steps to the side to give it a clear path to the door. “Okay, here we go. Can you walk?”

“Don’t touch.” SecUnit says it again, almost by reflex.

“Nobody’s going to touch you, mate.” Ratthi reassures it quietly.

It takes a clumsy step forward, wobbling slightly, and she wonders how much of its current lack of coordination is shock and how much of it is its injuries from whatever Leebeebee was doing to its programming – brain – systems. She needs to ask Gurathin what he found, suspects she won’t like whatever he saw that had him withdraw so quickly.

Her hands twitch to offer a supportive arm, but she forces herself to keep them by her side as she moves alongside it. Close enough to offer the support if it reaches out, not so close as to cause it to flinch away from her again.

It staggers out of the supply room with the rest of them following hesitantly, knocks into the entry and then cringes away as all of them reach forward then quickly withdraw their hands with muffled apologies. She curses all their Preservation instincts that are usually so helpful, but have failed SecUnit time and time again and are failing her even now.

It stops once outside and looks genuinely confused. It takes another step, a direction away from the habitat, then stops again and stands there. “I don’t know where...” It trails off and does a slow scan of the environment as they carefully spread out around it.

Ratthi takes an obvious breath and plasters a pale imitation of his usual smile onto his face. “Hey Seccy.” He hops around in front of it and gestures behind him at the habitat. “MedBay is this way. We’ve got it all cozy and ready for you.”

SecUnit turns and walks towards Ratthi then stumbles to a stop. “I don’t like the cubicle.” It says, voice flat.

“You’re going to the MedBay, remember?” Mensah says as she moves back to its side, looks up towards it (but not directly at it). “Bharadwaj has gone and activated MedSystem for you.”

It doesn’t move. “I don’t want to be touched.”

“Yes, thank you for telling us SecUnit.” She keeps her voice soft and even, doesn’t let herself fret that it is looping again and instead tries to let her sincerity carry across to it. “We won’t touch you. But if you want, you can hold onto one of us for support.”

SecUnit looks in her direction.

“But only if you want.” She says again, then adds lightly on the end, “I’m an intrepid galactic explorer, remember?”

There’s no words to describe the relief Mensah feels when it hesitantly puts a light hand on her shoulder, the lack of weight pressing down on her unexpected. “Dr. Mensah is an intrepid explorer.” It repeats her and she makes an encouraging sound as they step forward together.

They continue to stumble towards the habitat like that, Ratthi walking backwards ahead of them, saying encouraging things to SecUnit, Mensah’s free arm hovering over its bare back, while Pin-Lee and Arada follow along behind whispering over something.

“Dr. Mensah.” SecUnit’s voice is unexpected and has that odd tone to it she’d heard before, and she braces herself for a comment on security protocol. “Client Leebeebee wanted proprietary information.” It tells her.

That explains some of what they saw, but not all of it. The question of Leebeebee isn’t her priority right now, and Mensah stops herself from asking about it. “Thank you SecUnit. We’ll deal with that later, right now we need to get you fixed up first. You have a hole in your throat and I find it quite alarming.”

“Dr. Mensah.” It speaks again, even as it looks ahead at Ratthi’s guidance. “I tried talking.”

Mensah knows exactly what it means and it burns as she goes hot and cold, blinks furiously as she brings a hand up to her mouth. Its hand, so gently resting on her for balance, suddenly feels much heavier than it did a moment ago.

She forces herself to respond. “Thank you for trying SecUnit, that must have been hard.” She feels like she has never understated anything as much as this moment.

“Dr. Mensah.” SecUnit says her name so softly. “I am not good at talking.” It sounds flat and sad at the same time.

“I am sorry SecUnit, that I’ve made you feel that you are bad at talking. You are very good at talking, especially considering your situation.” She rubs at her mouth again and keeps blinking furiously. “We need to listen to you better.” She’s never going to forgive herself and she doesn’t want to.

“I am not good at talking.” It repeats it again and how she doesn’t want it to get stuck in this loop, of all possible loops.

She changes her response, “You asked for help.”

“I did?”

Ratthi shoves the habitat door open, calling out to the others that they’re entering and asks if they’re ready. He somehow manages to bring up the MedSystem and MedBay multiple times while calling out, and Mensah sees that someone has closed the door to the security ready room and blocked the entry to it with a chair. She appreciates how much her team is helping to reassure SecUnit that there would be no cubicle.

“Yes you did.” She’s not sure why she gives a short laugh, maybe from how awful the situation is and how much she’s ruined it all. “That’s how we found you.”

Bharadwaj and Gurathin are standing on the other side of the MedBay chair, Bharadwaj with the MedSystem’s visual input resting on her head and a determined expression on her face, and Gurathin hugging himself. She tries to give them both a reassuring smile in thanks as they finish guiding SecUnit in the right direction.

Mensah keeps her hands firmly away as it leaves her for the seat, all of them holding themselves back with barely a flinch as it predictably stumbles in the process.

Then it hesitates for awhile. Long enough that she takes a step back, offers it up some more space as she searches for the words to both reassure it and encourage it to get into the chair so they can start fixing some of this mess.

With a clumsy movement it turns itself sideways and mostly falls into the chair then adjusts itself. She’s not sure if its the injuries its been subjected to, or just its general unfamiliarity with sitting. She’s not sure which answer she’d prefer.

It doesn’t pull its uniform up from where its slipped down, doesn’t seem to register the injuries across its skin. Or perhaps it doesn’t care, too used to being damaged by humans to bother with covering itself. Too used to being unclothed when being repaired.

Mensah’s stomach clenches that she has somehow become the cause of this and frets suddenly, that it doesn’t understand what has happened to it and the disorientation it is experiencing is only brought on by whatever was done to its systems. That once healed, it will be back to how it had been after it was injured the previous three times in her care. Then she thinks that maybe its better if it doesn’t understand, if this doesn’t stand out to it compared to any number of terrible experiences it has had before.

She looks at it hunched in the chair and corrects herself. It doesn’t matter if it understands in the same way as she does, it doesn’t need to. It is sitting in their MedBay chair, shivering, and its eyes are starting to flick quickly between them all again in that way she is starting to recognise as alarm.

SecUnit seems to end up injured and surrounded by them all quite often. She knows that part of it is its assigned job, but she finds that she’s hating it a little more each time.

Mensah makes herself turn away and focus on the current situation instead of her wandering thoughts. “Arada, could you bring us a couple of blankets?” she asks.

“Um, sure.” Arada seems to be thankful for the chance to flee up the stairs with Pin-Lee on her heels. “Yeah, I can do that. We’ll be real quick.”

Chapter Text

I didn’t know what was happening.

Despite my recent shutdown, my organics were on the edge of [panic] and I had a repeating directionless wave of I don’t want this circling in my chest that didn’t numb me the way I don’t care did.

Everything inside my inorganics was just as mixed up: my inputs were in disarray, my settings all in defaults, my limb controls delayed, and my systems a knotted mess of broken directories. I kept automatically sending out codes and processes only for them to lose their way and fizzle out before the found their connections. It was very disorienting and I struggled to maintain focus of my surroundings when my inorganic brain demanded so much processing power as it tried to repair itself.

I wasn’t sure where I was, which was a different kind of alarming under all the other [negative] emotions I was experiencing. I felt oddly like I was drowning (don’t recommend), so at least the question of my location was easily resolved by looking around and making an assessment.

Even with my navigation systems and databases down, the area was familiar enough that the organic side of my brain recognised that I was lying in a MedSystem chair of a known habitat. I was 84% sure that it was my client’s habitat, but I didn’t understand why I was laid out in the chair. (MedSystem chairs are for humans, SecUnits get cubicles. Cubicles are designed for repairing SecUnits. Also it’s easier for humans to do things to us if we’re standing and immobilised.)

My pain sensors were misfiring all over my body. This made the ends of my fingers tingle, and I felt very cold.

I couldn’t find my diagnostics to run a full scan but even I could notice the hole in my throat. It made breathing a difficult process and the few times I could recall I had spoken were painful. I’m pretty sure I did that to myself but I didn’t want to think about why, or my performance reliability would drop into an emergency shutdown.

I didn’t want that to happen while I was surrounded by my clients. (That concern also made my performance reliability waver, so I wasn’t doing a good job at keeping it stable.)

I didn’t want a lot of things right now. It was circling in my head like a newly formed code, embedded in my organics by the [panic] [fear] [stress] emotions. I didn’t want to be in the cubicle, I didn’t want to be touched, I didn’t want to make eye contact, I didn’t want to be bad at talking, I didn’t want to be cold, I didn’t want to be in pain. I didn’t want the dried fluids on my face.

I didn’t know how to get out of this.

This new organic loop had threat assessment running on overdrive, it alerted on every movement around me and cluttered my interface. Risk assessment was completely absent - lost in my mixed up interface somewhere. Not that either of them had been very helpful. They had been flagging everything as [high risk] [high threat] the past few cycles, which made decision making difficult and overwhelming.

(Threat assessment and risk assessment had insisted that Leebeebee holding my hand was [high risk] [moderate threat]. It was clearly being influenced by my organics as while I disliked it, the handholding didn’t harm me or my clients. Not even when she led me-)

I lost the connection to the short-term memory archive that I had just managed to grasp.

I would reconnect to one input and another would drop out. It put a huge load of processing on my organic parts and they were struggling to organise and comprehend what was going on. I couldn’t protect my clients and forced myself to look around the room again. I had to rely on my organic memory and it strained so hard that the skin across my forehead started to feel tense. (My organics really weren’t made to work solo like this for long periods of time.)

Someone had relocated a selection of MedSystem’s scanners and probes into the common room, and now I was half-circled by four of my clients. Threat assessment kept flagging them as [hostile] and I would manually remove the flags, only for threat assessment to flag them again. This malfunction unsettled me. The [hostile] tag was unnecessary because they were not acting in aggressive ways and none of them had harmed me. (Gurathin had made threats and promises for future harm but he had not indicated he would participate in direct harmful activities.)

Threat assessment was stubborn and it listed all the ways my clients were expressing ranges of strong negative emotions which are correlated with increases in damage to SecUnits. I think it was trying to take on risk assessment’s role since risk assessment was absent. I shoved it behind my diagnostics input (found it) and pinned that in place on my interface.

My performance reliability read at 64 percent, then dropped as I avoided looking at my clients.

(It felt a bit like being on display in the SecUnit rental department, or in the SecUnit maintenance room with technicians looming over me, or in the cubicle with Leebeebee’s hand on-)

I didn’t want to be in the cubicle.

Dr Bharadwaj and Dr Gurathin moved a wheeled medical device around the MedSystem chair and I involuntarily flinched away. This made Ratthi reach towards me in alarm, possibly to stop me from leaving the chair, and I said “Don’t touch” without meaning to. Which hurt because my pain sensors were still doing fuck all about the throat situation. Then I flinched again, because I shouldn’t be telling my clients what to do or they might find out I was rogue (they already knew I was rogue, I was just confused) or they might touch me again because I told them not to touch me. (That fear somehow hurt more than if they just touched me without telling them not to.)

“Sorry, SecUnit.” Bharadwaj held up her hands and apologised, then moved away from me with the medical device. “We won’t need to touch you for this.”

(I don’t normally want to be touched, but in that moment I really didn’t want to be touched and it was impacting my thought processes significantly because I kept thinking about how I didn’t want to be touched and I didn’t want to be in the cubicle and I didn’t want nails scratching down my-)

(My mental processes kept getting stuck in loops and I had to force myself to focus on the present.)

I was very confused. I was confused she would say that, when it was pretty obvious that if she needed to touch me she would and I didn’t understand why she would bother to lie to her equipment. I was confused because I didn’t know what ‘this’ was.

“Don’t touch.” I said it again.

I couldn’t help it, it was like an involuntary organic buffer that wanted to provoke my clients into touching me.

So I froze.

(I was already stationary, as I was laying on the MedSystem chair while they moved around me and struggling to connect to my numb limbs. So I halted my breathing processes temporarily in an attempt to be less noticeable and more like equipment that they didn’t need to use.)

(I know that’s not how it works, it’s hard not to notice a broken SecUnit on your chair.)

Bharadwaj and Gurathin both paused in their fiddling with the medical device and looked at me, then each other, then moved away from me. Their expressions were unhappy and this was worrying.

Mensah also turned from where she was looking at the large medical display device to look in my direction, but she didn’t move closer. Ratthi stood closest to me and fidgeted with his wrist-jewellery then took a couple of steps back. He didn’t look good, his complexion was very gray and he was covered in a range of human and SecUnit fluids. I tried to reach for my human health status module but like everything else, it wasn’t where I expected it to be. Why was Ratthi covered in fluids? (There was something big on the edge of my organic memories, a shape of something pressed into me, of malfunctioning systems, of a sudden wetness and Ratthi standing over me with an expression of-)

The mental loops made it very difficult to be present.

I laid limply on their MedSystem chair and felt very awkward about my new involuntary organic buffer. I also felt vaguely upset to go with the constant foggy confusion and the desire to bolt out the door if my limbs would let me. Because for some reason they had listened to me and moved away, which wasn’t normal human behaviour, but it did make me feel a bit better and I gained a small bit of performance reliability. (Even though it made me upset. Everything was confusing.)

I didn’t want to look at them, I had to look at them, I wanted to look at the wall. I didn’t know what to do. I looked at them but I didn’t want to.

(Threat assessment barged past my diagnostics to tag them all as [hostile] again and I fumbled to remove it. I told threat assessment these were [clients] and to stop doing that before back burning it again.)

Mensah saved me from another emotional crisis in my head. “How are you feeling, SecUnit?”

She was standing on the opposite side of the MedSystem chair from Bharadwaj and Gurathin. Her face looked tired and there were dry fluids on it, which made an internal part of me flip. Now that I was looking in her direction I could see out of the habitat windows. It was dark on the planet and I was keeping my clients from their essential rest periods. It explained why they all looked so tired and upset.

I had to concentrate to speak an entire intentional sentence, “I am at 63 percent performance reliability, Dr. Mensah.” My vocals struggled to maintain control against the pain and I resolved to stick to only short responses.

My performance reliability was very low, considering the physical damage to me was minor. Aside from the hole in my throat, a low charge and some burnt out neural pathways, the diagnostics said the rest of my physical damage was made up of minor scratches and abrasions. There were a lot of them all over my body, but they were superficial. The one behind my ear was the oldest.

I wondered if my physical diagnostics input was borked and hiding some deep wound to explain the low reliability. I told it to run again to double check.

My internal systems were still that knotted mess and I had only untangled a few connections. I suspected only part of it was Leebeebee fucking around with my inputs and other settings and other things.

(I didn’t want to think about that, it would make my performance reliability drop and I wasn’t far off losing my ability to talk and then my clients wouldn’t have to pretend to listen to me anymore and would probably start requiring eye contact or touching me.)

I really needed to do a shutdown and clean reboot.

“That’s not what she meant.” Gurathin muttered it to himself but I could hear him, and now I was a 2 percent drop away from losing my vocal capabilities. (I knew that wasn’t what Mensah meant, but I had already told her that I wasn’t good at talking and she said she would listen better. I guess I hoped she knew what I meant.)

“Thank you SecUnit, can you let me know if that changes?” She frowned as Bharadwaj elbowed Gurathin.

“Yes, Dr. Mensah.” I had regained my lost percent at her response, so I didn’t need to tell her that it had already changed. It was nice that she wanted to know my status, even if it meant she was worried about my functionality and usefulness as a SecUnit. I wondered if it was part of the reason I was lying down on a MedSystem chair instead of the cubicle, so that I was easily accessible for queries.

(Leebeebee liked it when I was lying down. I didn’t like it.)

My head hurt as I tried to ignore another wave of panic and confusion. I didn’t know why I was in the chair, my organics were leaking, my systems were sideways and upside down, and I didn’t want to be touched.

(I was looping again.)

I didn’t want to reboot around my clients but I didn’t want to keep being stuck in mental loops about how badly I didn’t want to be touched.

“I don’t understand what’s happening.” I didn’t meant to say that out loud, but Mensah didn’t seem to mind my confusion.

“That’s okay.” She rubbed her head and leaned back against the large diagnostic display surface. I wondered if rubbing my head would get rid of the tightness in it. “If it’s alright with you, we’re going to use MedSystem to fix up that hole in your throat, and then any other injuries you have, okay?”

That was an overwhelming concept. She almost made me think I had a choice in it.

“Okay.” I told her.

I had something else to tell her to but it kept slipping away.

“I don’t like the cubicle.” That wasn’t it. I didn’t mean to say that, because it would put the idea of the cubicle in their heads.

“We’re not putting you in the cubicle.” It was Gurathin who responded, he snapped the words out so quickly I startled. Then then Bharadwaj shushed him abd wrapped his arms around himself with a muttered, “Sorry.”

They were being weird.

(“Sorry, sorry. I know. It just, it keeps saying…” Gurathin whispered to her but I could hear him because despite being defective enough to need a MedSystem and humans coddling me, I was still a SecUnit.)

“Client Leebeebee wanted proprietary information.” I tried again and Ratthi made a weird noise. Was that the thing I wanted to tell her? Did I already tell her? I missed my short-term memory archives because the spot where they should have been was taken up by a defective anti-virus scan and some receipts from the food printer.

“Yes, thank you SecUnit. We’re going to address that once we get you fixed up.”

I stared blankly at her, then at Bharadwaj and Gurathin by the MedSystem device. Then craned my head to look at Ratthi. None of them seemed very concerned about Leebeebee trying to get their proprietary data through their SecUnit. Nobody asked about what data she tried to access or what else she did to sabotage my systems. They all seemed oddly content to stand in their respective spots despite their tired looking faces.

They didn’t touch me.

Or leave me and return to their rest periods.

Or say anything.

I wished I had my helmet on. I hadn’t worn it since DeltFall and I missed it.

The silence was broken when Arada and Pin-Lee stomped down the stairs, talking over each other about the blankets in their hands. They moved to stand uncomfortably close to me, so I transferred my reluctant gaze to them. I didn’t want to look at them, but I was worried if I looked away I’d miss them reaching out and then I wouldn’t be able to brace myself or tell threat assessment to shut up.

Now all my clients were present and surrounding me. I wished I could lean back or away from them. Or leave the room. But their gazes pinned me to the chair as they both spoke at the same time, which required extra attention from my organics to understand. I switched to staring at the ceiling and watched them out of the corner of my eyes.

“It’s to keep you warm,” Arada said. “You’re shivering.”

“We thought you could use some privacy.” Pin-Lee said at the same time.

I said: “What?” Because it sounded like the blankets were for me, which didn’t make sense. SecUnits don’t get blankets because we don’t need them.

Pin-Lee raised one of the blankets while Arada wiggled the one she held side-to-side in a movement that definitely brought threat assessment out of its back burner box to apply a [target] to the blanket. I was so baffled I didn’t dismiss it as I tried to process their statements in my head. Humans didn’t care about SecUnits being warm or covered. Leebeebee had made me lay next to her for the entire rest cycle without them and the cubicle discouraged coverings or our clients wouldn’t be able to inspect us properly.

“SecUnit, is it okay if we put these blankets on you?” Mensah asked the question slowly and carefully from her corner of the lounge. I liked it when she spoke like this, even as threat assessment tried to send me another substitute risk assessment for her tone flagged as [trap].

It was easier to agree than think too hard on it. My head hurt. “Okay.” I said.

I looked down as Arada draped her blanket over me. I knew I was cold but I hadn’t realised my skin suit was still open to my hips and how visible the damage done to my skin was. I could see why my clients wanted me covered. Humans can find the sight of damage to SecUnits distressing. Ratthi seemed especially vulnerable to those kinds of emotions, he kept glancing at them, looking away, and blinking a lot. I didn’t want him sad. (It’s harder to protect sad humans because they make dumb decisions.)

Then Pin-Lee placed their blankets over me too and the increase in sensation was a light pressure across my whole body. It didn’t feel anything like my armour, or my skin suit, or Leebeebee’s fingers scratching down my chest to claw at my-

It was a very different feeling.

It was a nice enough feeling that I remembered to breathe again, and some of the tension in my head eased. (I guess the oxygen alerts weren’t making it to my diagnostics and that contributed to the tightness.)

I experimentally pulled the blankets tighter around me. The textures were nice. They were a bit like a barrier in the same way as my armour. They would prevent the humans from touching me and my performance reliability crept up at the thought.

I wondered if that counted as a change to notify Mensah, or if she had only wanted to know about decreases. My default assumption was that she only wanted to know about changes that would affect her negatively, but this was Mensah and she asked them to get the blankets for me and then asked me if I wanted them.

A tentative new emotion was happening but I shoved it behind the back burner with threat assessment. I didn’t want to think too hard on new emotions, my processing was already overclocking and slowing down my thoughts.

I tried imitating Mensah and rubbed at my head, but it made the blankets slip down so I quickly tucked my hand back under them.

I wasn’t as cold anymore and my shivering stopped, which was good because I still hadn’t found my temperature inputs. My performance reliability increased another percent and I wavered again.

“66 performance reliability.” I said.

I continued to look at the ceiling but watched Mensah out of the corner of my eye. She gave a small smile. “Thank you SecUnit.”

I gained another percent (I didn’t want to spam her with verbal notifications so I didn’t share that one), which bolstered me enough to watch warily as Bharadwaj started moving the wheeled medical device towards me again. I didn’t experience any involuntary organic buffers as she moved it next to my head, or when she leaned over to extend its retracted parts above me. (I only leaned back a small amount, not enough to be visible to the human eye.)

“Wait, wait, Stop. Slow down.” I flinched slightly when Pin-Lee stepped up with their hands raised towards Bharadwaj. Now they were both leaning over me with the medical device.

“Sorry.” Pin-Lee pulled back a little and lowered their voice to a standard level. “Sorry, I meant, just hold on a second.”

“What’s the problem?” Mensah asked as Ratthi moved over to join her against the display screens.

Pin-Lee half turned to her. “It’s just- can it even consent to medical care right now? It’s all scrambled.”

I was so baffled I looked directly at Pin-Lee. Consent doesn’t apply to equipment. I searched my inputs for my health status module to determine if maybe Leebeebee had impacted them all chemically before invading my systems. They had seen my face a lot lately, so maybe with chemical influence they were confusing me for a person. That would explain why they were all being so weird, even for them.

I couldn’t find the module. My scattered inputs were getting frustrating. They were making it harder than usual to understand what was going on, and the situation was already difficult to understand without relying entirely on my organics. Pin-Lee was right, I was pretty scrambled.

Bharadwaj gestured at me. “We can’t leave it like this.”

“No, of course not, but we can slow down and-”

“We can’t just do stuff to it.” Ratthi interrupted Pin-Lee to blurt out his thoughts. “Sorry.”

I wanted to remind them that I was their equipment and they didn’t need to worry about human things like consent but, well, my head hurt and my throat had a pretty big hole in it and my performance reliability was still pretty low and there were blankets on me. It was kind of nice to pretend for a moment.

“Right, yes.” Bharadwaj leaned back to look down at my face. She had a wrinkle between her eyes as she assessed me. I didn’t like how they kept flicking over parts of me. “Sorry SecUnit, I forgot you’re not used to this. Is it alright if I finish setting this up over you? It will take a scan for us.”

She made it sound like I had a choice. Which was distressing because Leebeebee had made it sound like I had a choice too, and then had done the opposite.

I was getting anxious again and diagnostics said my [panic] [fear] hormone levels, which were still pretty high, were spiking.

I looked to Mensah for help, then remembered humans need obvious body language and turned my whole head. Did I need to think of some words? I was running out of words and it made my throat hurt. Before I could fret too much, Mensah nodded at me and said: “If you’re not ready for a scan SecUnit, that’s okay. We can take a moment to talk about this.”

“I don’t understand what’s happening.” I guess that was an organic buffer phrase now too, except saying it out loud gave another chemical-hormone spike and I sat up from the chair.

This had the unexpected bonus of making Bharadwaj take a startled step back from me, and the unexpected consequence of making the blankets slip down and remind my clients of my damage and that they didn’t need to wait for me, they could just touch me.

(The damage they had been seeing the whole time and which meant something had happened to me. But that something was too big and negative to catalogue without my inorganic systems supporting me.)

I hurriedly pulled them back up.

(They couldn’t touch me with the blankets up.)

(I was still thinking a lot about how I didn’t want to be touched.)

(My fluids were staining the blankets.)

My clients were talking over each other again and it was a lot:

- Bharadwaj was expressing concern about waiting too long to scan me.

- Pin-Lee wanted to draft up some paperwork for me to sign, even though it wouldn’t be legally binding.

- Arada was also concerned about getting me scanned as soon as possible.

- Ratthi wanted me scanned but he also didn’t want me scanned. He was also the loudest.

- Gurathin was quietly hunched over the medical device, but he had taken a step closer to the device which garnered most of threat assessment’s attention and I had to remove the [hostile] tag again.

None of them were talking to me, but they were getting louder and faster and that was very stressful. I cautiously laid back on the chair and, when none of them looked at me, pulled the blankets up higher. I considered covering my head like I had seen on some of my media, to simulate the sensation of my helmet, but then I wouldn’t be able to brace myself for when they touched me or see what they were going to do to me and I didn’t want to hurt them accidentally with my wonky inputs.

Mensah’s steady voice cut through the chaos. “Everyone, calm down.” She didn’t need to yell or raise her voice and my performance reliability crept up half a percent. I had to stop myself from automatically telling her that.

She took a deep breath and muttered something to herself so quietly I couldn’t pick it up. Then she took another breath and said to me, “You’ve got quite a bit of damage to your throat. We would like for Bharadwaj to take a scan of your throat with the medical array. Would that be okay with you SecUnit? Can Bharadwaj take a scan?”

I think she had already told me this but it was nice to have it said again so that my organic memory could try to remember it. She didn’t even seem to be mad that I needed to be told what was happening. (Again?)

I meant to say okay but instead I said, “I don’t like the cubicle.” Then repeated it again because my mixed-up brain was prioritising the organic buffers.

(It was frustrating, I knew I was stuck in a loop but without my inorganic processing I couldn’t get my organics to stop thinking about hands touching me in the cubicle and being unable to get away from them. I wanted to initiate a flush of my systems, clear out the hormones and chemicals, but that was just as scattered as the rest of me.)

Bharadwaj and Mensah exchanged looks, then Bharadwaj turned back to me. “No cubicles, but I need you to confirm if it’s okay for me to scan you with this medical device.” She touched the one she was setting up over me. The one for humans.

“Okay.” I managed. I wasn’t okay but I wanted this over with.

I also managed to keep myself stationary as she finished positioning it above my head and neck. She asked me to lower the blanket enough to get the top of my clavicle, but stopped me when I went to remove the blankets entirely.

I felt a lot better when Bharadwaj slipped the medical headset over her eyes and was no longer looking at me directly. The MedSystem scanner performed in a similar way to the one in my cubicle, but it moved horizontally over my body as opposed to two scanners circling me, which was enough of a difference to ease some of my freaked out organics.

I felt even better when all the humans huddled around the results on the large display surface instead of around me. It was easier to focus on sorting out inputs and processes into their correct places without their eyes pinning me down. Not that I sorted much, I kept dropping the connections. I found my manual where my human health monitor should be, and where my manual should be I found a stray episode of Asylum Crescent: Update and Drop. I opened it, took one look at the contents and deleted it. I don’t know why I had that downloaded, but it had distracted me from the conversation about my damage.

Bharadwaj’s finger was tracing the outline of my throat on the screen. She wasn’t touching me, but there was an odd ghost of malfunctioning sensors along the edge of my throat that felt like fingers. I had to force my breathing to restart so I could focus on them speaking (this took way too much organic processing).

“Honestly, we’re lucky it can speak right now. Any deeper and its vocalisation box would have been dislodged.” Bharadwaj said.

Gurathin frowned. “Can this be fixed without the cubicle?”

“Yes. It won’t be as good as the cubicle, it will be human-graded artificial components and not SecUnit standard. It will be weaker until it can get fixed by a cubicle or by-”

“I don’t like the cubicle.” I said it too fast, and I interrupted the humans speaking. My organics were heating up in my chest and I was suddenly very terrified they were going to change their minds and put me into the repair cubicle. Even though they had put me into their human MedSystem and hadn’t shut me down for their convenience. But it would be much easier for them to do what they wanted to me if I was shut down (I was pretty sure that something had happened to me when Leebeebee shut me down, but we weren’t near any cameras so I wasn’t sure. I just had an organic feeling).

They could change their minds.

“We’re not going-” Gurathin cut himself off when Mensah touched his arm. Took a big breath and continued in a tone that was too even and set off my threat assessment for someone who is lying. “We’re not going to put you in the cubicle.” He took a deep breath like Mensah did earlier, but it wasn’t reassuring the way she was.

When Mensah spoke, it was actually reassuring despite the topic. “We’d like to repair your throat now, if that’s okay with you? Bharadwaj will use the MedSystem, no cubicles. Can we do that?”

I still felt on edge. It was reassuring when she spoke but I was still feeling aggravated that she insisted on asking for permission instead of just doing it. It’s not like I had a choice, not really. I was still their SecUnit.

“Okay.” I said.

Arada and Pin-Lee approached me slowly, even for humans, and told me they were going to lower the chair. This put me out flatter, almost like a padded table, and I let go of the blankets to grab on to the sides of the chair. I held out until they were already backing away from me for a “Don’t touch” organic buffer to slip out. That was embarrassing, and also upsetting, because they raised their arms up from where they had already backed off. I didn’t get why they were all suddenly listening to me now. Or why it upset me so much. I wanted it over with, couldn’t they just ignore me and finish fixing me or whatever?

“SecUnit,” Bharadwaj caught my attention from where I was staring for too long in Arada and Pin-Lee’s direction. “Can you rest your head back on the pillow?”

I leaned back.

“Tilt your head up please.” I moved my head. “A little more, yes. Hold like that.”

I didn’t like this.

I held very still.

My organics were freaked out and so was I. Which didn’t make sense because this was nothing like my cubicle and Gurathin hadn’t even finished positioning the MedSystem for Bharadwaj yet.

I had to wrestle with threat assessment as it leaped to the front of my inputs to start tagging all my clients as [hostile] again.

Staying still took up enough of my processing that I didn’t notice that the blankets I had been given were slipping, until Gurathin’s hand came into view to pull them up and touched-

I don’t want this. I don’t want this. I don’t want this.

My mind went blank for an unknown period of time.

I don’t want this. I don’t want this. I don’t want this.

“I don’t want this.” When I regained awareness of myself, my hearing came online first. “I don’t want this.” I didn’t sound like a SecUnit. It hurt.

It was disorienting to hear myself begging and I fumbled a bit with misplaced inputs before I remembered to close my mouth and cut myself off. It took my neural organics a moment to realise my mouth was closed and to stop trying to make me talk.

I was still on the MedSystem chair, the blankets fallen to the side and my skin getting cold again. I had tried to lean back while also pointing one of my arm guns at Dr. Gurathin, who had frozen with his hands raised.

That wasn’t right.

I grabbed for the recording of what happened as it travelled to short-term memory. Replayed it. He had reached for the blanket. His chipped nail had brushed my side.

My performance reliability plummeted as I argued with threat assessment to remove the stupid [hostile] tag and let me lower my arm or at least disable the charge it was running before I overheated. (My other hand was clenching around the chair.)

Mensah took a half step towards me and I shivered. I liked Mensah, she’s my favourite, but I didn’t want her near me while I couldn’t control myself. It felt like Leebeebee had installed an organic panic override to go with my organic buffers and I really didn’t want to shoot them.

“Don’t.” I couldn’t finish the sentence. I’m not sure if I wanted to say “Don’t touch me” or “I don’t want this”. The latter was embedded into my organics in a way that made me burn. I tightened my grip on the chair and something warped.

The humans were making facial expressions at each other that meant something. I knew this because I had been switching my gaze between each of them every 2.5 seconds to remove the [hostile] target locks, and where first they had been staring back at me they were now staring at each other.

I didn’t like that.

Arada and Pin-Lee did something with their eyebrows and Ratthi made a noise. Bharadwaj made eyes at Gurathin. Then Gurathin had tilted his head at Mensah then towards me and I was suddenly very sure that they were going to- that they’re playing a game with me and they would- that Leebeebee had confused them and now they thought-

“I’m not a sexbot.” That burst out of me at the same time as another wave of stress hormones flooded my systems. “I don’t like being a sexbot.” I added.

I didn’t want them to be confused, I liked these humans, I wanted to stay a SecUnit. I didn’t want to be put into a cubicle or taken into a room or told to lay down or to kneel or to-

Ratthi stepped forward like Mensah did. “No, no you’re not!” He said it so loudly I almost switched my arm gun to him. The other one was holding onto the chair so tightly I had lost its input which actually made it easier to focus.

“I’m not.” I repeated it again. It was very important that the humans knew I wasn’t a sexbot. That they didn’t get confused and that they knew I was a SecUnit.

They spoke over each other as they repeated variations Ratthi’s statement that I wasn’t. I wanted to believe them. I didn’t want to be optimistic, last time I had tried to be optimistic Leebeebee had-

(I forced my brain to stop looping.)

I stared over Gurathin’s shoulder. “I’m not.”

He looked uncomfortable and hunched in on himself, probably because I still had my charged arm guns pointed at him. “I know you’re not.” He muttered the words. I didn’t know if he was lying. I was a malfunctioning SecUnit with a gun pointed at him, he would say anything. I could maintain a raised arm for a long time but the unreleased charge was beginning to burn the edges of my skin. I needed to lower my arm before I hurt him but I couldn’t.

“I don’t think I should be here.” He stepped back and my arm followed him. “I’m not helping, I shouldn’t…” He backed up until he reached the furthest chair and sat down with his head in his hands, and that did something to my insides. His [hostile] tag dismissed itself.

I didn’t have to do anything with threat assessment, the tag dismissed itself.

I released the charge and lowered my arm. There was a dizzying amount of relief that felt a lot like when I saved a client. I let myself for, just a moment, feel the full force of all the emotions and chemical-hormone cocktails that were surging through my systems. There was a lot of fear and stress chemicals that my systems were trying to flush as fast as they generated them. There were the relief chemicals that I was feeling the most of right now. But there were a lot of warm fuzzy ones that I wasn’t very familiar with. It was overwhelming. My humans weren’t touching me, they moved away and they stopped. They said they wouldn’t touch me and that I wasn’t a sexbot.

I desperately wanted to be optimistic.

Talking was already hard without a hole in my neck, but I was finding it easier to say the words each time one of my weird humans responded in a way that indicated they were listening. (It hurt to talk, it hurt a lot, but that was physical hurt and I was much better equipped to ignore that.)

My humans liked talking but they weren’t talking right now. I think they were waiting for me to say something. I rummaged through my head for any media to help me out. “I need a minute.”

I didn’t mean that literally, but then a minute passed followed by another as I struggled with threat assessment. I had started to shiver. I wanted the blankets back but they looked very far away and my hands were still clumsy and tingly.

And my humans actually waited which was confusing, like everything else for the past few cycles had been, but was also reassuring. I appreciated that they were letting me try and pull my scrambled brain together to think.

I reconnected to my other arm’s input and forced it to let go of the chair.

“I don’t like being touched.” I had told them I didn’t like being a sexbot and they had agreed so maybe if I told them I didn’t like being touched, they would agree with that too. Not like before where I told them not to touch. Mensah said I had to use my words and these humans liked to talk about feelings.

“That’s good, SecUnit, thank you for telling us.” Mensah was speaking to me carefully, her voice stilted and stiff. I found it reassuring because if Mensah could be bad at talking then I could also be bad at talking. “I swear to you, none of us are going to touch you without permission.”

I held my breath. I really wanted to believe her, and Mensah hadn’t hurt me yet.

She continued, “It would help if we could clarify things, make sure we don’t cross any more of your boundaries. What else do we do that you don’t like?”

I hesitated. I told Leebeebee I didn’t like things and she made me do them anyway which hurt so much more, but this was Mensah and the others listened to Mensah and I had a muddled organic memory of her saying I was good at talking and she would listen to me. And they had listened to me twice now.

“I don’t like eye contact.” I said it quickly, before the confused numbness could come back and shut down the tentative lightness building in my chest.

I carefully looked past Arada as I said that, so I saw when her face made a grimace as she remembered that I could see all cameras when my inputs weren’t inside-out. I wanted to check if she was upset that I didn’t want eye contact. Instead of getting angry with me, she said, “You don’t have to make eye contact with us.” Then moved into Pin-Lee’s arms.

They were all avoiding looking at me now, and I didn’t feel as pinned, because it wasn’t like before where they were avoiding looking at my damage but still looking. Now they had all adjusted their heads and gazes a fraction to the side of me without the pretending-not-to-look. (They still had the occasional pained expressions that came from dealing with me but so far this attempt at talking had gone much better than the previous attempt.)

They were not looking at me and they were not touching me and I had a very complicated emotion happening that made me blink multiple times really fast. Some of my fear-stress hormones finished flushing from my systems and threat assessment finally stopped bothering me. I regained a couple of performance reliability percentages because fighting a part of myself like that was exhausting and contributed to my head hurting. I was confused and I was relieved.

“I don’t understand,” I admitted.

“What don’t you understand?” Mensah had drifted closer to look over the MedSystem chair at a nearby wall.

“Why you didn’t put me in the cubicle.” I left unsaid that it would repair me better than the MedSystem and they could all return to their rest periods. And then they wouldn’t have to deal with my organic malfunctions. But my throat struggled to say long sentences.

She said, “Because you don’t want to be.” When she said something like that, I wanted to believe her.

I wanted to say something different, so it wasn’t obvious how broken I was, but all that came out was a pathetic, “I don’t understand what’s happening.” I felt slow and frustrated with myself and the loop I was in.

“Will it help to explain what we’re doing as it happens?” Pin-Lee asked.

“I think so,” I said, and laid back in the chair because it was getting very hard to continue speaking and the chemicals flushing from my system left me feeling hollowed out. I missed the blankets and I made a note to try asking for them when I had more talking energy.

I tilted my head back to the position Bharadwaj wanted before my organic brain had its panic moment.

Bharadwaj stepped back to the MedSystem device and explained how she would use the tool to put my throat back together well enough for them to apply a standard first aid kit. I knew how the MedSystem would work but Pin-Lee was right, it was helpful to hear her say it out loud so I didn’t accidentally try to shoot her or anything.

She seemed really upset that the company didn’t give them my manual so she would have to try and fix me using human specifications. (The company did give them my manual, I had deleted it from HubSystem as soon as my rogue status was revealed). I clumsily sent a copy of it to the MedSystem over the feed.

“Oh,” she said. “Thank you, SecUnit.” Her face relaxed and some of the wrinkles disappeared. It was weird how concerned they all were over my damage and how much they wanted to fix it. I was way less damaged than the creature incident and, aside from Mensah’s visit, I had been left alone then to fix myself. And that hole had been much bigger.

(I was kind of aware why this damage was different and mattered to them but I didn’t know how to think about it, about how the humans only cared now that they had seen me-)

That was a lot of feelings to ignore.

I did think that it was nice that they were being so concerned, even if it was weird, but they were weird humans and I was starting to think that maybe I liked weird humans.

The hollow feeling made a sort of numb blankness take over. This was helpful as it meant I was able to stay very still in the chair, despite the pain of the MedSystem’s probes, as Bharadwaj slowly untangled wires, soldered broken ones back together, and stitched my synthetic flesh closed.

It was a novel experience, instead of forcing my head back without warning, I was asked to tilt my head back for a better angle. Then I was asked to tilt my head to the other side. Each time she asked me to change my position, my performance reliability crept up (I didn’t tell Mensah, but I did relax more into the chair). I didn’t even mind that my humans had slowly moved closer with their chairs as she worked on me (except for Gurathin, he stayed on the furthest chair but his head wasn’t in his hands anymore and he had the unfocused look of someone in the feed).

It wasn’t awful when they were all sitting down and occupied with activities other than staring at me. I still felt bad that they were spending their rest period looking after their broken SecUnit as I slowly pulled more of my short-term memories back in order. I had sent messages to them and woken them up? Why did I do that?

“I’m sorry,” I said.

That was a fuck up because they were all talking at me again and they sounded upset, which was the opposite of what I wanted and also upset me. “I’m sorry.” I repeated myself.

“Why are you sorry?” Mensah asked while Pin-Lee said “What do you have to be sorry for?” and Arada told Ratthi, “This is our fault.”

I was sorry for lots of things, but the one that concerned them was how I had been sabotaged twice. I reminded them, “Leebeebee has your proprietary information.” So now there was no reason for GrayCris to keep my humans alive and their only protection had a malfunctioning organic brain and messed up inorganic systems because it was too stressed out to do a reboot.

“Leebeebee’s dead.” Ratthi told me and I looked at him in surprise, which made Bharadwaj swear as I dislodged one of her MedSystem probes. It stung but I needed to see Ratthi’s face.

“What?” There was a tightness in my abdomen. I didn’t want this to be a lie to make me feel better about her fucking with my systems and my- about her fucking with me.

He coughed and leaned back from me, his expression an odd mixture of distressed and pleased. “She’s dead? I kind of shot her?” His voice got high and shaky on the end but I wasn’t paying attention, because an organic memory had cleared up of Ratthi standing over me and blowing up Leebeebee’s head. I replayed that memory multiple times in quick succession. I took a deep breath, possible because of the partial repairs so far, and replayed the organic memory again. Then I saved it to long-term storage. My chest felt very tight and I attempted a couple of more deep breaths. Then I added [human friend] to Ratthi’s client database so that threat assessment would never try to tag him as [hostile] again.

I was still breathing faster than usual. The information wasn’t bad, but it was very overwhelming to know that she wouldn’t come back to order me away or find me at the company and rent me or buy me. I couldn’t stop staring at Ratthi, which prevented Bharadwaj from continuing her work. (An absent part of me noted that he was trying to avoid my eyes while I stared at him, and this made me feel more of those light feelings in my chest.)

(“I can’t continue the surgery when it’s worked up like this,” Bharadwaj said.

Pin-Lee agreed. “It wouldn’t be ethical.”)

“I am breathing the crystal air,” Mensah said, and my attention flipped to her instantly. “I am breathing.”

It was reassuring to hear those words outside of my interface.

Ratthi gave a soft “oh” and nudged Pin-Lee in the side.

Mensah took me through Flight Supervisor Kogi’s entire invocation for the crystal-eaters that raised him. I had not realised she was paying that much attention in the hopper, and the melty feelings it gave me calmed me down as much as the familiar words did. She had been listening and she remembered.

The room became quiet and I realised all my humans had been breathing along with me. It was calming and it was nice to see their faces smooth out from all the creases and wrinkles they get when upset. Even Gurathin had relaxed in his corner to take a few breaths and that eased a part of me that had been monitoring him.I liked seeing all my humans calm.

This was nothing like my media, but then none of my media covered SecUnits being sabotaged by hostiles and put back together by humans. (It was better than any media I had seen about SecUnits, and was in my top 10 favourite moments that I could remember.)

My performance reliability ticked up to 75%, which was higher than it had been in over a cycle.

I thought I had a better idea of what they wanted, and they wanted to me to tell them when I was ready for them to start, the way they told me they were going to do something before they did it. So I leaned my head back again so that Bharadwaj could finish my repairs and said, “Okay.”

I wasn’t overwhelmed this time and it didn’t make me breathe fast or worry about being touched or create a surge of fear-stress chemicals that made it hard to think. Because my humans weren’t touching me, they were repairing me, and one of them killed another human for me and another remembered my soothing episode.

“Can I have the blankets back? Please?” I asked. I was cold again and I didn’t like my superficial damage being so visible.

Mensah and Ratthi were closest, and they both bent over to pull up some of the blankets, which were stained with my fluids but were still soft and comfortable and made me warm where they were placed. My performance reliability increased again.

“I need to reboot,” I admitted to Mensah. I had regained access to some inputs, but most of them were still floating untethered to their processes and it was just very messy in my head. A reboot and internal system repair would help relocate the broken directories, but I would also be offline and vulnerable to my humans.

I wasn’t entirely sure I would be safe with them, but I wanted to be. I wanted to be safe with them really badly. I wanted to come back online with both parts of my brain working and my damage fixed up by Bharadwaj. I didn’t want to be online when she started fixed the rest of my body, I was worried I would have a negative emotional reaction and point my arm guns at her. I didn’t want to think about the damage to my body.

“Can you stay?” I asked Mensah. I know humans need rest periods, but I wanted someone to make sure nobody touched my body.

“Sure, anything you want.” The weird thing was, I kind of thought that she meant it.

I initiated my reboot sequence before my organics could start to freak out.

UNIT OFFLINE

Restart: Diagnostic

Restart: Repair

Restart

My systems were back in their neat rows and everything was where it was meant to be. My hands were no longer clumsy and tingling and my diagnostics did not register any damage under the blankets tucked in around me.

My memory archives and the habitat recordings were accessible and I quickly sped through the recordings to confirm that yes, these weird humans had saved me from the asshole human and then they had looked after me through an emotional collapse even though I kept looping and had pointed arm guns at them.

Mensah was sitting slumped over in the chair near me. She was in touching distance, but she wasn’t touching. Her eyes were closed and she was breathing in that steady way humans do when deeply asleep. It was soothing.

It was nice.

I felt safe.