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Oliver has completely dropped him, and it isn’t as if he really cares. But he had actually made an effort to change, he was prepared to make this into something more than just snogging each other in desperate, shameful secret. Well… he still wants it to be secret but it could have been more in private. 

Perhaps Oliver is right though, perhaps he wants him for his own ego’s sake. The thing is, what bothers him the most is how fucking pathetic it was. Marcus lowered himself to be with him and he got rejected anyway. It’s a greater shame than any other. 

He feels cheap and he desperately needs to cleanse it. He might’ve even started to wonder if he was the problem, if it wasn’t for the universe just granting him the answer. 

In many ways the universe kept rewarding Marcus Flint for his beliefs. Because right on cue, his classmate Terence Higgs comes out of the closet. 

It’s a shame of course, because he is a fine seeker and it’s always a shame to have to kick a good player out of the team. However, it gave Marcus a reason to exchange Terence for that Malfoy brat. Who came with bribes, new brooms for every one of them. Perfect timing, he had thought. Now no one could blame him for discrimination against Terence for booting him.

Everyone knows though, why he really had to go.

What’s grand about it, is that it also leaves an opening for Marcus to act. 

What he really liked about Oliver, was that he could safely approach him, knowing he liked men just like Marcus did. That is the real struggle, not that he can’t have Oliver specifically. He doesn’t care about that. The issue is that it’s difficult to find men like them in the open. Terence is out, and he’s just as young and horny as the rest of them. Marcus assumes. So Marcus decides that even though Terence isn’t on his team anymore, he would still like to play with him.

He corners him after class. Pushes him back behind a thick tapestry on their way to the dungeon, where he knows from experience there’s a nook in the wall. It will hide them perfectly. 

If Terence rejects him, it’s not as if anyone will believe him.

He’s smug when he pushes a bewildered Terence up against a wall.

“Seriously, it wasn't enough that you kicked me off the team?” Terence asks, a big frown between his brows. 

“you’re such a cliché Flint” he pushes at Marcus’s chest but Marcus isn’t budging. 

Terence is not as aggressive in his disdain as Oliver is, he doesn’t push and bite the way he did. He just looks tired, already bored with Marcus' act. It pisses Marcus off. 

Marcus’ body is already getting excited though, his breath comes out laboured as he tries to keep the power dynamic. Something shifts in Terence's eyes as his whole head retracts, giving him an unattractive double chin as he assesses the situation. Terence is reading him, scanning his face and catching Marcus’s eye with his when he’s done.

He looks way too calm and Marcus staggers for a second before he pushes his lips to Terence’s.

Terence scoffs in surprise, apparently not as prepared as Marcus had thought. The way he had looked at him, Marcus was sure he would’ve guessed it. 

Terence doesn’t kiss him back in that teenage desperation Marcus had expected. He laughs into Marcus' mouth before bending his head away. He's amused. 

Marcus drops him mostly out of shock. Terence wipes his mouth with a couple of fingers as he gives Marcus a long look that screams ‘really, you?’.

Marcus is fighting with every cell in his brain to focus, get back the power. He pushes Terence to the wall again, and tries to kiss him again. Harder this time, more like he’s claiming him. Terence giggles again but he does kiss him back this time. 

Marcus can feel a leg sliding in between his, and it pleases him. Terence is submitting just as Oliver had once, better even. There’s less of a struggle.

There’s an unsettling joy in Terence though, he doesn’t struggle with it or hate it the way both Oliver and Marcus seem to. The leg inserted between Marcus thighs bends.

Terence has hooked his foot around one leg, and he pulls, which causes Marcus to lose his balance. He staggers, and Terence takes the opportunity to flip them. 

Marcus finds himself startled and pinned to the wall. 

Terence is grinning, a big menacing smile like the Cheshire cat. He looks way too pleased with himself and Marcus' pulse beats erratically and nervously. He is ashamed of the staggering whimper he releases in his surprise. 

Terence is pleased with that too.

“okay then” Terence whispers and kisses him gently. Much sweeter than Marcus likes. He’s not a precious thing you need to be careful with.

But when he tries to roughen it up, Terence pulls away.

It is clear that Terence expects to set the pace, and it is as if he deliberately chooses one that he knows will drive Marcus mad. And it does, it drives him mad, and it turns him on in a way he never would’ve expected. So he comes to terms with it, he follows Terence tempo.

“Good boy” Terence whispers right next to his ear.

It sends a shudder down Marcus' spine and his legs weaken, they tremble like they’re made out of jelly. He has to slap his hand over his mouth to silence another pathetic whimper. Terence smiles, almost genuinely. Marcus is screwed. 

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Terence pushes him down on the bed and climbs right over him. He has his knee pressed into the mattress between Marcus spread legs and Marcus’ mind blanks. Ever so discreetly Terence pushes forward so his thigh presses delightfully into Marcus’ groin but he doesn’t do anything else. Marcus has never been so hard in his entire life.

Terence's eyes are gleaming mischievously as he leans close. His breath just slightly ghosts over Marcus’ ear and he shudders. Terence knows what he’s doing and that’s equal parts thrilling and terrifying. Marcus can’t do anything except lying starfished on his bed and staring at him. Mouth agape like one of the fishes outside the great lake window. The reflection of water ripples cover Terence's face before something big swims past outside and covers them both in shadow. For a second Terence is completely in the dark. Then some light manages to escape somewhere and it hits his face just over his eyes. They are focused, he eyes Marcus like a predator and Marcus truly feels like prey in that moment. 

“What do we say when we really want something?” Terence leers as he pushes his knee a little closer and Marcus is so embarrassed over the sound that escapes his open mouth he almost wants to run out of the dorm. Terence is fully clad and the only thing Marcus is wearing is his pants, which are steeped in precum already.

“Please ? ” he breathes out.

It’s correct, or at least good enough, because Terence sweeps in and kisses him right into the mattress as he grinds down on him. Marcus moans into his mouth and chases his lips when Terence pulls back. 

“ Please ” he tries again because it worked the last time. 

Terence moves back again and pulls off his shirt. He grabs Marcus’ hand and places it sprawled out on his abdomen. He lets Marcus explore his stomach, his chest. 

Terence still has his seeker build. It’s lean. The muscles are long instead of big and high but they are defined. His stomach is flat but firm. It’s more than Marcus’ could ever have dreamt of. Marcus sits up and kisses his stomach, Terence's mouth hangs open and his breathing is more laboured now. It makes Marcus think that perhaps he has a chance to win this dance of control after all, but just as he lowers his guard Terence flips Marcus, so easily, onto his stomach.

Marcus immediately turns around. He might have enjoyed the manhandling a little bit before but he was most definitely no one’s bitch. Terence has stopped touching him completely and gives him a stern look. 

“Turn around” he says as he sits back down on his heels. Marcus brow furrows angrily.

“Who says I’m gonna bottom?” He asks as he crosses his arms. He’s still painfully hard and it’s so difficult to keep his principles.

Terence leans close again, but he doesn’t touch. He so deliberately frustratingly doesn’t touch . 

“I will decide when you get to top me” he says and dips his head down to Marcus’ collarbone. He licks it and cups him simultaneously through his pants. Marcus almost comes from that alone.

“Now turn that booty around, or we stop here today” Terence says and as he leans back he meets Marcus' eye. He keeps it steady, he means it.

Marcus isn’t against being topped. He’s always had a morbid curiosity about it, but he’s not supposed to want it. It's beneath him. You can shag a man and still be a man. You can’t get fucked by one and keep your masculinity. 

Terence takes Marcus’ hand again and places it first on his face this time. He leans his cheek on it before he pulls the hand down over his chest again, down to his crotch and guides it to where Marcus can feel him throb.

Marcus' mouth goes dry.

Perhaps because it is out of his control it feels like a loophole. It’s not because he wants another man to fuck him, it’s because he has to let him. 

He feels his heart racing as he slowly turns around again. Fuck he’s excited about it but he’s too turned on to worry about what that makes him. 

He’s still trembling though, and he can feel Terence body language soften above him. Terence doesn’t insert himself violently as Marcus would’ve expected. At first he simply puts his arms around Marcus chest and leans forward, tracing kisses down his back before one of the arms disappears to slide Marcus pants down his thighs. Marcus' heart palpitates as his ass is exposed to the chill dungeon air. 

Terence grabs it roughly, spreading his cheeks and Marcus gasps in a mix of nervousness and excitement.

Terence isn’t doing anything else, and Marcus desperately wants to be touched at the very least.

“Please” Marcus pants into the pillow below.

“Please what? Please stop?” Terence asks as he slaps one cheek before rubbing it gently again.

“Please…” Marcus’ voice trails off, the words painfully stuck in his throat. He’s way too embarrassed to say it, and way too horny not to. He’s wanted to have sex forever, he just wasn’t aware he wanted it this way.

“Please” he gulps, forces himself to breathe and almost chokes “fuck me”

His skin is hot, it’s only partly out of shame. 

Terence leans down and kisses his neck before he pushes at Marcus legs which are beant into the mattress. He’s restricted by his pants, Terence asks him if he can rip them apart and they’re only pants so why not. He just nods into his pillow. The tearing sound of breaking cotton is thrilling. Terence is using his knees to spread Marcus’ legs teasingly slow. Marcus glides down into the mattress so low his groin pushes into it. 

“All you had to do was ask” Terence's voice is amused, almost cruel, but the way he slides his hands over Marcus' body is gentle. There’s a clicking metallic sound. Marcus can’t see anything but the white cotton of his pillow but it’s unmistakably the sound of a buckle being undone. 

Terence doesn’t force himself in, he’s slow and adjusts his tempo after Marcus. Feels him under him, listens to his whimpers to make sure they are at least partly out of pleasure. Marcus sort of likes when it stings a little.

It’s Marcus' first time, he’s pretty sure it isn’t Terence’s. 

He’s getting fucked into the mattress and it’s not the penetration that turns him on as much as it’s the grunting sounds Terence makes into his shoulder blades. The more he grunts and whines, the less he remembers to toy with Marcus. It’s as if he’s so into it, he can’t focus on playing any games any more. That Marcus enjoys just as much as the teasing.

The friction grinds Marcus into the mattress and that feels really good. 

He’s close several times but the slight pain sort of keeps him from coming first. That and every time he makes a sound like he is about to, Terence stops and tells him he can’t yet. That’s sort of good, had he topped he probably would’ve come embarrassingly fast. The hint of pain mixed with pleasure sort of grounds him. Terence tells him no, whenever Marcus tries to grab his hands, which are holding Marcus like a cradle.

Terence breath hitches after a while, it gets heavier like he has trained extensively. The more erratic it becomes the less focused he is on ordering Marcus anything. He eventually grunts long and low into Marcus back. Marcus whimpers and almost asks if he is allowed to come. 

Terence is limp for a second, before he pulls his arm around and grabs Marcus, strokes him while he slowly pulls out and lets Marcus finish in his hand before he wipes it on the sheets by the foot of the bed. 

Then he crawls up beside him and pulls Marcus to his chest, his breathing still laboured as he starts to comb his clean hand through Marcus' hair. He has an absent, drowsy look on his face.

It’s such a shocking contrast.

Terence had just moments ago refused to let him even touch him without saying he could, but now he wraps the blanket over them both and hugs Marcus close to his chest. He’s half sitting up against Marcus' bedpost and Marcus gets to curl up against him while Terrence plays with his hair and massages his ear.  

Marcus can’t even remember when his own mother treated him so lovingly. It makes his chest hurt and his eyes tear up. 

Fuck, he’s not going to allow himself to cry against another man’s chest after he just got fucked. That is not happening. He forces his eyes to absorb it back up. Lean his head back and stare up into the green canopy. 

“Do you want something, I can get you some water” Terence has reacted to him stirring and has stopped scratching Marcus head. He’s searching Marcus’ eye. 

There’s care in there.

“Are you okay, did it hurt?” He asks and he looks genuinely concerned. His scratching has moved down Marcus' arms now and it’s so comfortable. 

“Shut up” Marcus says and sits up. He winces a little, but it’s almost a good hurt. There’s a weird vibrating tremble in his legs and it feels weird but not wrong.

“Stay” Terence says, and even though he says it kindly Marcus stops moving. It's not an order but somehow Marcus naturally reacts as if it is. He feels his chest flush as he realizes.

The mattress shifts as Terence moves and Marcus can’t look at him. He’s paralysed in fear.

“Adrian will be back soon and he’s gonna have a lot of questions if he finds me like this in your bed”  Terence says and the mattress shifts again as Terence stands up.

He walks around the bed until he stands right in front of him. He places his hand so gently at the back of Marcus' neck and lifts his head up effortlessly. Terence looks down on him, he looks like one of those paintings of a saint looking down on the lesser humans he will spare his glory over and Marcus feels it. He bathes in it. Then Terence leans down and plants a kiss on his forehead and Marcus can feel the burn of tears behind his eyelids as he closes them.

He is pretty sure he’s in love with him already.

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Marcus kinda enjoys being at Terence’s mercy. He has started looking forward to Adrian fucking off to be with his girlfriend so they can have their dorm to themselves.

He likes it when Terence tells him what he’s allowed. He likes it even more when he’s rewarded for it, like a gentle caring touch following a rough shag. Or being called good.

Fuck he loves it when Terence says he’d good. 

Even when Terence lets Marcus top him he decides and sets the pace. Marcus wasn’t even aware you could be topped and… be on top? Terence has on several occasions ridden himself on Marcus as a plaything and Marcus is even more sure he loves him after every time they have sex. Which is often, maybe too often but they have the stamina for it so why wouldn’t they?

He appreciates not having to lead in this… - is it even a relationship though? Whatever it is, Marcus is along for the ride. 

What he doesn't appreciate is being belittled in public. Okay, so maybe he does enjoy it. It’s confusing and not the point.

He is still simmering in it like an unstable potion when Terence comes back from the greenhouses. He’s covered in dirt and ruggedly handsome and Marcus is so pissed off that he has to be mad at him because all he wants to do is push him down on one of the couches and kiss him. Perhaps it’s just as well, because they are supposed to be keeping this secret.

Which is perhaps even more reason to be upset that Terence used his hold on him to make him react in public like that. 

Terence gives him a look as he passes, a look that tells Marcus that he’s not planning to stop and explain himself. Adrian has went on a date. They’re supposed to take the opportunity to be together but Terence just looks at him as he wipes dirt from his face, and his eyes alone are telling Marcus that it’s not happening.

Marcus is infuriated, and he follows him into their dorms to confront him. No way did Terence get to just decide that they weren’t talking about it if they weren’t even going to shag instead. 

“How dare you do that to me?” he asks, mustering some kind of calm and dignity as he closes the door.

“You loved it” Terence says without looking up from his trunk where he is fishing out a towel and fresh casual clothes.

Marcus feels his face flush.

“That’s beside the point, are you just going to turn me on and then not do anything about it?” he asks instead, trying to keep a hold of the dignity that his parents have taught him is so important. 

Terence gives him a long look, then he smirks.

“Oh, maybe I just need you to sit in it a bit longer… really rile you up” he says as he moves up closer. He places a deliberate hand on Marcus' hip and then just gently pushes him out of the way. So he can get to the cabinet where he keeps his lotions and beauty products. Marcus has inhaled in anticipation and the lack of outcome almost suffocates him as he forgets to exhale. Then he gets angry.

“What’s so important that you can’t throw me a bone first?”

He grabs a bottle out of Terence’s hand and looks it over. It’s his shaving cream.

“Do you have a date or something?” it stings. He’s aware they’re not exclusive and never discussed it. He just doesn’t like the idea that Terence is making himself up all pretty if it’s not for Marcus. Terence gives him another long look and sighs.

“Do you think I never kept up appearances when I wasn’t dating?” 

When Marcus isn’t prepared he snatches the bottle back and places it in a basket that he uses to carry all his stuff. It’s ridiculous, most guys just bring a bottle in hand and the towel over their shoulder. If Terence hadn't come out he was pretty sure people would’ve known anyway.

Marcus is quiet, he doesn’t know how to proceed. Terence's eyes soften.

“I’m just meeting Morgan” he says softly and gently places a hand on Marcus’ cheek. It burns with how kind it is.

“Kelly? Seriously, you’re blowing me off for lesbos?”

Terence gives him a hard glare and removes his loving hand. Marcus suffocates a whimper as the disappointment strikes.

In truth, it is probably a worry that Terence's closeness with Morgan Kelly would bring him closer to Oliver, and he’s terrified of that. Of him finally tiring of him if he finds out there are other options out there. Kinder men, who aren't so confused and angry at the affection he receives from Terence. 

“You really shouldn’t hang with that blood traitor, do you know she likes muggle music?” he says instead, filtering all his anger into the friendship with Kelly and not the other things. 

“I don’t care about that stuff” Terence says as he diverts his gaze away from Marcus again. refusing to look at him while he’s like this. Like a punishment. Marcus has noticed he does that whenever he brings up mudbloods, not looking at him. Punishing him.

Terence undresses down to his pants and puts a velvety green robe on. It’s still open, teasing Marcus with a view of the body underneath. 

“You should, it’s people like her who water down our bloodlines” Marcus says, almost ordering. He sounds like his father, he realizes with an uncomfortable mix of pride and shame. It’s confusing, conflicting and writhing inside him like worms. 

Terence awards him a cold laugh. 

“Cause we’re so good at furthering our lines. With all the babies we’ll have” Terence sneers at him as he ties his robe around his waist. He finally looks at Marcus again, but he’s still sneering and the look is pointed. He’s mocking Marcus' whole belief and yet the only thing Marcus can focus on is the implication.

It’s the first time they mention a possible future together.

Marcus is speechless but his heart is loud.

“But that’s actually your plan isn’t it, fuck around with all the boys you like and then marry some poor girl who doesn’t know you don’t fancy her” Terence says and hoists his basket on his arm. He’s ready to leave for the showers now. 

That is the plan isn’t it? He always intended to marry even though he doesn’t find it appealing. Because the Flint bloodline needs to stay pure. His parents didn’t marry for love, so why would he?

“Have a couple of kids, ensure the bloodline” Terence says as if he’s reading his mind, and his tone hurts. But what hurts more is the brief image he has just given Marcus about a life together is cracking. He desperately wants to keep it attached. 

He doesn’t like the idea of a future without Terence in it.

Terence doesn’t give him a chance to say it. He doesn’t stop to continue fighting, instead he walks out. 

For a split second Marcus thinks about giving up, then he starts walking after him.

He follows him into the showers and locks the door. Terence turns around surprised at the sound of the lock clicking, and then angry when he spots him. Marcus doesn’t give him a chance to argue. If Terence doesn’t want to stay and fight then Marcus will allow it. He pushes him into a shower stall instead and kisses him ardently.

They accidentally start the shower and get soaked. Marcus feels the black silk of his shirt soak up the water. It’s terrible for the fiber. He doesn’t care.

“I don’t need kids” he says as he pulls away and he can’t even look at Terence. He’s staring down at their bodies instead, until he feels Terence’s hand in his soaking wet hair. Caressing it, like he does after sex. Even though they haven’t had sex yet. Marcus looks up and finds Terence looking confused inside a steady fall of water, and not in control. Which is not normal.

Then they kiss again, not sure of who initiates it.

Marcus has never done this before, pressed through a fight and not given up at first sign of breakage. It is terrifying.

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Adrian knows about them, but he pretends like he doesn’t. Marcus can tell that he doesn’t approve but he stays friends with Marcus anyway. So strongly indoctrinated in the pureblood ways of don’t ask, don’t tell. 

It’s not his business what Marcus does in his privacy. As long as Marcus’ family is influential it’s nobody’s business what he likes. As long as he doesn’t flaunt it.  

Marcus should’ve assumed he would figure it out. 

Except for Terence Adrian is the smartest one in their class. 

Besides, he shares a dorm with them. Perhaps it was bold to assume they could hook up in there without Adrian finding out eventually.

So Marcus is rather relieved that he’s at least pretending not to know. He’s realized that Adrian is a better friend than he gives him credit for. 

There’s a lot of things Marcus has realized since they started this thing, him and Terence. 

Marcus has caught on about the edging. That’s what Terence calls it. The teasing and withholding of sex whenever he needs control over Marcus. Edging him on but withholding the relief until it builds up in his abdomen. Until he cries for it. Marcus has caught on, but he’s also become aware that he likes it. 

He’s not in the mood today though.

He’s lost. His last year, and he has lost the quidditch cup. 

To Oliver Wood. 

The worst part is that Oliver wouldn’t even rub it in his face. Too busy celebrating with his friends, searching the bleachers for stupid red hair and hand-me-down robes. 

It stings, he thought he was over it but it still stings. 

It’s not just losing. It’s the nail in the coffin of how little Oliver cares about him. Not even enough to fight him. He really likes Terence but he still has some sort of feeling towards Oliver that he can’t shake and it’s a crushing feeling. 

Marcus isn’t just a loser in Quidditch, he' s a loser in life who can’t even get the attention of a boy he likes. 

Terence senses his mood, drops the teasing seduction he had attempted to uplift his mood and sits down next to him instead, on the couch where Marcus has been grouching ever since he came back from the showers.

Terence wraps his arms around him, and Marcus dips into his embrace like it’s second nature. He curls up like a pouty baby and snakes his arms around his boyfriend’s torso.

Terence pets his head in calm strokes and a bit of the disappointment and shame evaporates.

“Just because you lost doesn’t mean you're worthless” Terence says as if he’s read his mind again.

“of course it does” Marcus mutters, not all of the shame is gone after all.

“Who told you that, your dad?” Terence asks, and it stabs Marcus in the chest. Another nail in his coffin. Marcus doesn’t answer, but he feels as if Terence doesn’t need confirmation to know anymore. 

He looks up at Terence, and feels bad for even thinking about Oliver at all. Who cares if Oliver Wood hates him. Terence doesn’t. 

For all of Marcus’ flaws and for some illogical reason Terence likes him. 

Marcus crawls up and straddles Terence on the couch, kisses him as if he doesn’t care if Adrian returns and sees them. Adrian knows anyway. If he saw he’d just turn on his heel and pretend he didn’t. 

Marcus pushes their bodies closer, grinding into his boyfriend until he moans in his mouth.

“Make me feel better” he mumbles against Terence's hot breath and Terence laughs in between kisses.

“Brat” Terence calls him, and grabs onto his ass as he guides him into pushing down harder. Their panting breaths mirror each other in familiarity. A familiarity Marcus has come to miss during the summer break when he has to spend months not living under the same roof. He hates those times, they're achingly lonely. He’d rather be cramped up in one room with Terence than alone in a massive mansion full of servants. 

He stops grinding and Terence whines in disappointment and tries to chase his lips so he’ll continue. Marcus pulls back again. Just looks at him, waits for Terence's hazy lustful eyes to clear up and meet his. 

“I love you” he says, feeling his body lock up in terror as Terence stares at him in a daze. Pulled abruptly from ecstasy and the promise of a good time. The silence is killing him, still Marcus can feel Terence’s heartbeat through his chest quicken as if he’s excited too. Terence finally smiles and therefore also finally wins the battle in pulling Marcus in for another kiss.

“I adore you” Terence mumbles, almost whispering secretively. 

He seems like he wants to continue but Marcus isn’t quite done. Spurred on with confidence as his confession didn’t alter his world, it didn’t break him to say it. He has more things he wants to say now.

“I don’t want to wake up in a room without you. This summer was hell” he says as he finally gets to breathe under Terence's constant snogging. Terence smiles dazedly.

“I hated it too” Terence says. 

Marcus wraps his arms around Terence's neck and dips his head down to nuzzle and kiss it.

“Will you move in with me after graduation?” he asks, Terence's eyes get big but he doesn’t reject the idea immediately. Marcus hates the idea of having to go back to his family after this. He can’t get away from it fast enough. 

He knows it’s too early, but he has to know if he can keep this. He needs something good to look forward to as graduation nears. 

Terence is about to answer when the door opens and colourful swears travel with the waft of damp cellar air from outside as the door closes again.

“I think I’ve been more than fair Marcus, but we need rules” Adrian shouts through the door as his steps quickly descend.