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Chapter Text

It was quiet. That was Peter’s first thought of the lake house when they moved back after the battle; after the craziness of the battle and Captain Marvel snapping Thanos into oblivion and finding out five years had passed and then finding out five years had passed and he had a little sister and his dad was married to Pepper and they had moved out of New York and the Avengers had disbanded and… yeah. It had been crazy.

Peter sighed, stretching, staring up at the exposed timber beam ceiling of his loft room at the lake house.

It was late into the night. He should be sleeping.

Peter closed his eyes, trying to get his body to get with the program, but they flipped open again quickly.

It was just so quiet out here. There was no noise, no traffic, no boats, no people. Just the background rustle of the trees swaying outside the window, the distant gurgle of the river than ran down at the bottom of the property and the constant creaking of the wooden house around him.

It had only been two days since Peter and his dad had moved back to the cabin. After the battle there had been noise and people and crowds and reunions. And Tony hadn’t let Peter stray far from his side throughout.

But now the chaos part was over and the slow trudge back to normality began. And apparently for Peter that meant this; a cabin in the woods with a brand-new stepmother and half-sister.

Peter took a deep breath and tried to quieten his mind.

“Hey FRIDAY,” he called to the ceiling. “Can you play some white noise?”

That had always helped him zone out when the noise had become too loud back in New York; when the scream of sirens on the streets below kept him from sleep.

A moment went by. Then nothing.

Peter frowned and pushed himself up into his elbows. “FRIDAY?” he tried again.

Nothing.

Nothing but the creak of timber.

-

“Hey, Dad?” Peter said the next morning, jumping down the last three steps of the stairs and right into the kitchen. “I think there is something wrong with FRIDAY.”

His eyes landed on the fruit bowl, and he grabbed an apple, swinging up to sit on the counter.

He looked up to see his dad looking at him with a smile as he busied himself at the kitchen island. Eggs shells and the remnants of peppers littered the surface next to the chopping board and large bowl.

“I agree. Saturday is a far superior day.”

“No Dad,” Peter chuckled. “I called for her in my room and she didn’t respond. Have you not installed her up there yet?”

His dad’s response was cut when the back door opened and Pepper walked in.

“Her highness is wanting her breakfast,” Pepper announced, taking off her boots by the back door.

“Almost done,” his dad muttered, scrambling the eggs in the pan and accepting Pepper’s kiss to his cheek.

“Morning Peter,” Pepper said, half an eye on her phone. “Don’t sit on the counter.”

“Oh right, sorry.”

Peter jumped down. He kept forgetting these new rules. Before his dad had never had a problem with him sitting on the counter. Peter remembered sitting on the counter at their house in Malibu while his dad tried to teach him the recipe for Nuna’s famous lasagna. He remembered sitting on the counter of the Stark tower penthouse kitchen arguing with Steve Rogers about the correct ratio of sugar to flour in cupcakes… but that was Before.

Now there was no sitting on the counter.

His dad and Pepper moved around each other in the small kitchen, busy getting the plates and food ready for breakfast.

“Dad,” Peter said again when it was clear the man had forgotten they were in the middle of talking. “FRIDAY?”

“Oh yeah,” Tony responded distractedly, plating out the eggs. “FRIDAY. We only have her installed in the library here buddy.”

Peter blinked. And then blinked again. He couldn’t be hearing right.

“What?”

“It didn’t make sense having an A.I. here,” Pepper said with a small smile while she buttered some toast for Morgan. “We wanted the lake house to be different. To be a home.”

“Malibu was a home.”

“Well, there you needed an A.I. just to communicate from one end of the house to the other,” his dad said, already dishing an omelette onto a plate. “Don’t need that here. It’s more…”

“Homier,” Pepper interjected. “And we didn’t want Morgan to grown up spoilt with an A.I. catering to her ever whims,” Pepper said with a small chuckle. “She already has your dad and Happy for that.”

“Hey,” Tony interjected, faking hurt.

Peter frowned. “I’m not spoilt.”

“Oh, I know you’re not honey,” Pepper said rubbing a hand on his shoulder.

But before anyone could say anything else the back door banged open, and Morgan rushed in.

“Breakfast. Breakfast. Breakfast,” she chanted, jumping up and down on the doormat.

“Yes, yes Madam Secretary,” Tony mumbled good naturedly. “Your breakfast is served.”

-

Peter returned to his bedroom after breakfast.

It was odd to stare at the ceiling and know for certain that there were no wires running through it. No other worldly voice that might call out from the sky to ask if he needed anything.

It was weird. There had always been an A.I. in their house. Ever since Peter could remember. And once JARVIS had turned into Vision, FRIDAY had been there.

JARVIS was the one that read Peter bedtime stories when his dad was working late. FRIDAY had been the one who helped Peter through adjusting to life with enhanced senses, helping him drown out noise, coaching him through breathing exercises, adjusting the temperature of his room to make sure he was never too cold.

A knock on his bedroom door tore Peter from his own mind. By the time he had raised his head his dad was already peaking in through the part open door.

“Alright champ? Can I come in?”

“Yeah,” Peter nodded, pulling himself to sit against his headboard.

“You OK?” his dad asked, coming to sit on the end of the bed. “You left pretty quick after breakfast.”

“Yeah. Just… wanted some space you know.”

Tony looked back at him, his gaze shrewd. For all that his dad effected an air of disinterest to the wider public Peter always felt that the world underestimated just how smart his dad was. You couldn’t exactly invent time travel if you were an idiot.

“Morgan can be a lot in the mornings,” his dad said in the end. “She will calm down in a few hours once the morning endorphins wear off.”

“Right.”

An awkward air hung between them which irritated Peter. He had never felt awkward around his dad before. And now everything was different, his dad was different. And Peter didn’t know what he was expected to do.

His dad looked up at the ceiling and Peter followed his gaze.

But there was nothing there. Nothing but ceiling and timber.

“It’s a bit different here isn’t it?” his dad said in the end.

“I guess,” Peter shrugged, bringing his knees up to his chest. “It’s quiet.”

“Thought you would be glad not having to listen to the roaring chaos of the city.”

Peter just shrugged again, not sure what to say.

His dad took a deep breath, resting his hand on the top of Peter’s sock clad foot.

“After you…” his dad’s jaw jumped, and he quickly looked away. “When you were gone, Pepper didn’t want me to get lost in my own head. I built JARVIS because I was lonely. I didn’t have anyone else to talk to. And I built FRIDAY because I had lost JARVIS. I just… I didn’t need them anymore.”

Peter wanted to frown. ‘You had me’ Peter wanted to say. ‘You weren’t lonely. You had me to talk to’. But his dad was looking at him with that look that said he wanted Peter to be OK; that he was worried he had done something wrong and needed Peter to tell him it was OK.

So Peter did what he always did.

“Yeah it’s fine Dad,” he said with a small smile he didn’t feel. “I was just surprised that’s all.”

His dad’s smile quickly turned to relieved.

“But if you want I can install Karen up here for you. Give you someone to retort to your constant ramblings.”

“Nah,” Peter said with a shrug. “It’s fine. I can just talk to you guys.”

Tony’s smile back was blinding. “Exactly.”

Chapter Text

Tony never thought he would have this again; his kid, perched across from him in a lab, face crunched in concentration as he fiddled with wires or dissected code.

And maybe it wasn’t the lab, but Tony had outfitted his garage with some pretty high-tech gadgets. Peter’s face when Tony had ushered him in had been one of those faces Tony had coveted; his eyes wide with excitement, his mouth spread in a disbelieving grin, happy smiling and here.

His kid. Peter. He was here. He was back.

Tony let the feeling well up in his chest, the right-ness of it all filling him up with happiness from his toes to the top, spilling out into what was no doubt a goofy smile on his old haggard face.

Peter glanced up across the workbench, sending him a confused frown.

“What?” the kid asked, his mind still half on the innards of the Iron-Spider suit.

“Nothing,” Tony said with a shrug, not even trying to tame his smile. “Just looking at you. My gorgeous kid. I mean, you’re made from 50% my DNA so you were always gonna be a looker because… obviously,” Tony gestured at himself with his screwdriver.

Peter rolled his eyes as Tony knew he would do, but he was smiling, and Tony could spy the telltale sign of blush on the kid’s cheeks.

“So what are you thinking?” Tony asked, leaning over his son’s workstation. “Is it salvageable or are we planning a head-to-toe new look? Rupaul style.”

If Tony were being honest with himself, he never wanted to see Peter in the suit ever again. It had been the suit his son was wearing when he hitchhiked his way into space. It was the suit his kid was wearing when he dissolved into dust in Tony’s arms. It was the suit Peter had worn in every single one of Tony’s recurring nightmares.

But - like the therapist Pepper had sent him to before Morgan was born had told him - he couldn’t put his own traumas onto his kids. So if Peter wanted the Iron-Spider suit, then Peter would have the Iron-Spider suit. His kid could have anything he wanted as long as he was here, with Tony, for as long as was possible.

“I dunno,” Peter mumbled, frowning down at the tangle of wires. “I mean… I think that we can fix most of this. And I really did only wear it once. But…”

“But what?”

“Well… would you be OK with that?” Peter looked up at Tony, his eyes wide and kind. “I mean… it is what I was wearing when… You know.” Peter shrugged. “It probably wasn’t fun.”

God, Tony loved this kid so much.

“I’m fine if you’re fine kid,” he said, ruffling his hand through Peter’s hair and trying to blink the onset of tears from his eyes.

Peter smiled back and then turned back to the suit spread out in front of them. “Then let’s fix it. It will be fun.”

“You got it kid,” Tony chuckled at his son’s enthusiasm and grabbed his wheeled stool so he could sit closer.

They had just managed to detangle the motherboard from the mess of broken wires when Peter’s head shot up and a moment later the door to the garage creaked open.

A little brown mop of hair was all Tony could see from his seat. But he knew who it was. He shared a roll of the eyes with Peter and stood. Sure enough, by the door of the garage was his daughter, looking small and oh so cute in her dungarees and her hair in little pigtails.

Tony sent his daughter an unimpressed look. “You know you’re not allowed in here misses.”

She shrugged, looking unbothered. “You and Pete are in here.”

“This is an adult only zone.”

“Peter isn’t an adult.”

“Excellent point. Well argued,” Tony said with an indulgent smile. “This space is for boys only. No mummies or little misses allowed.”

“Mummy says that you’re not supposed to let men push you out of rooms because you are a girl.”

A snort behind him had Tony turning, sending a betrayed look to Peter who was not being very successful in hiding a grin.

The kid just shrugged. “She’s right dad. The patriarchy is a failed construct.”

“Whose side are you on?” Tony grumbled before turning back to his daughter. “Social injustices aside, you can’t be in here. It’s dangerous. You know that.”

“It’s Tuesday,” Morgan said as if that explained everything. “We always play legos after lunch on a Tuesday.”

Tony inwardly cringed. Because he had completely forgotten what day it was.

Tony had never liked routine. It made him feel penned in and controlled. He liked spontaneity and seeing where the day took him. Peter on the other hand, had always liked routine. His kid had always liked knowing what the plan for the day was and having a calendar and ticking things off a to-do list.

When Morgan was born Tony had clung to a routine. If he didn’t have to think about what he needed to do every day, if the day was mapped out for him by the ‘schedule’ then he didn’t need to think. And if he didn’t need to think, he didn’t need to think about what he had lost, and what wasn’t there… what he had lost.

But now it was here. Peter was here.

“How about today we play with your legos later this afternoon?” Tony tried. “Me and Pete are doing something right now.”

Morgan sent him a confused frown. “But we always play legos after lunch on a Tuesday.”

“Why don’t we do something different today?”

“Why?” she said with bite and a little pout.

“Because right now I’m with your brother.”

“But you’re supposed to be playing with me.”

Tony, who was well acquainted with every single one of Morgan’s ‘imminent melt down trigger warnings’ saw the wobbling of her lip and jumped into action. There was no way Peter wanted to witness a level ten Morgan Melt Down, the boy wasn’t ready for that yet.

“Well you have excellent timing Morguna,” Tony said quickly with what he hoped was a winning smile as her eyebrows started pulling together in distress. “Because Pete and I were just finished. Weren’t we Pete?”

Tony shot his son a look over his shoulder that he hoped clearly communicated the danger they were in. And his son – his angel of a child – held Tony’s gaze for a few seconds before he took a breath and nodded.

“Yeah. We were done. Your dad can play legos with you.”

“Ok!” Morgan chirped; all traces of her tantrum erased. Tony smiled and shook his head. The girl’s moods were as fickle as the wind.

“Come on then,” he grunted, heaving Morgan up into his arms before turning to Pete.

His son slouched forwards and Tony swung an arm around his shoulders before the kid could complain. He knew Peter was disappointed about their lab time being cut short, but he would make it up to the kid. They had all the time in the world.

With an arm around his son and his daughter in his arms, Tony thanked his lucky stars again that the universe had given him this.

The feeling of ‘rightness’ surged up in his chest and Tony pressed two firm kisses to each of his kid’s heads as they walked out the door.

-

Tony discovered another plus of having his son back with them as he quickly downed a glass of orange juice in the kitchen. He had left Peter squashed into the wooden structure of Morgan’s picnic bench, a box of mismatched legos spread out across the table and Morgan spelling out very detailed plans for the village she wanted to build.

Tony had spent many afternoons squashed into that bench. It was rightfully Peter’s turn. And it would be good for the two of them to do something together.

He quickly rinsed his glass and pushed open the backdoor, stepping out onto the porch, eager to have his kids back in his eyeline.

But when he looked over to the bench Morgan was the only one there, the walls of many brightly coloured structures already starting to take shape on the table. Tony’s heart kicked into overdrive for a moment before he turned and saw Peter sat on the porch bench and his head in his phone.

Tony took a deep breath and let his heartrate recover.

“What you doing here kid?” Tony asked, lowering himself onto the bench beside his kid.

Peter just shrugged, eyes going back down to his phone. “Morgan wanted to build it on her own.”

Tony winced. “Sorry kiddo. Morgan hasn’t had to really learn to share yet.”

“It’s ok.”

Tony leaned forward, trying to catch the kid’s eye but Peter kept his eyes on his phone.

“How’s Ted?” Tony asked, nodding at Peter’s mobile. There was only one person on the planet that his son messaged with the ferocity he was currently typing.

“He’s alright,” Peter mumbled, not lifting his gaze up and not falling for Tony’s poking at his friend’s incorrect name.
“All his family got dusted so they had nowhere to live. They’re staying with his aunt while they find somewhere.”

“Sounds rough.”

“Yeah,” Peter mumbled, his eyes scanning the screen.

“Why don’t you video call him, show him the new digs.”

“He doesn’t have a phone. Everyone arriving back at the same time messed up the global supply of sim cards or something. MJ says it’s proof that capitalism is a flawed regime and it’s the perfect time for the people to rise up in revolution.” Peter shrugged, ignorant to Tony’s wide-eyed stare. “But I told her I live too far away from the city to help make the posters. But Ned can log into his old email account on his aunt’s computer when it’s free so I’m emailing him.”

Tony blinked and shook his head. “I can get Fred a phone,” Tony said with a shrug. This at least he could fix.

Peter’s eyes pinged away from the phone… finally. “Wait… really? You can?”

Tony grinned, leaning back in the bench. “Of course I can. Genius, billionaire, tech giant,” he said gesturing to himself. “I’m sure we have some old generation Stark phones lying around here somewhere.”

“Dad, that would be awesome!” Peter said with a wide grin. “Thank you so much!”

Something clenched in Tony’s heart and if he didn’t have two of the greatest kids on the planet he might have thought he was having a heart attack. But it was just his kids, making his heart so full that it didn’t know how to properly function.

“One condition,” Tony said, sending Peter his patented ‘serious look’. As expected, Peter’s face cleared of the grin and he looked back seriously, his face open and ready to listen to whatever instructions Tony was about to impart. Then Tony let the smile form on his face and opened up his arms. “Come here.”

Peter’s shoulders dropped straight away. He rolled his eyes but obediently scooted across the bench and curled into Tony’s arms.

With a deep breath he squeezed his son tight, breathing in that smell that was just uniquely Peter. A smell that Tony had thought he had lost.

“I’m OK Dad,” Peter murmured into their embrace, tightening his arms, reading Tony’s spiralling thoughts before they had even fully formed. His kid was smart that way.

“I know,” Tony mumbled back, his lips half pressed into Peter’s curls. “And I am so damn glad, you have no idea.”

They sat there, curled together and in silence for a little while. Tony let the weight of his kid and the breeze and the smell of the trees seep into his soul, healing just a little of the wound in his heart.

“When do you think school will start again?” Peter asked sometime later.

Tony shrugged as much as he could with his arms still tight around his son. “Probably after the summer. They’ll have a lot of things to sort out before the schools are ready to have kids back.”

“Oh man,” Peter groaned. “I’m gonna have so much work to catch up on.”

Tony chuckled. “Not much has changed in physics and maths in the five years you weren’t studying. I think you’ll be fine kid.”

“There’s an extra five years of history I have to learn!” Peter said, pulling away to stare at him with wide eyes. “History was already my worst subject!”

“Kid, you got an A in history in your last test.”

“Yeah. But an A minus!”

Tony chuckled and held on tighter, letting the world pass him on by.

-

Tony had always loved dinner times with Pepper and Morgan. And with Peter back they were even more of a reason to be happy. All his family sat around one table. Tell him what was better than that?

Pepper was still in her shirt and pencil skirt from her meetings, her phone in hand as she finished up with some last details and emails from her day. She smiled and gave Tony a kiss on the cheek as he put a plate of pasta in front of her.

“So how was everyone’s day?” Pepper asked, finally putting away her phone.

“So good!” Morgan said excitedly. “I made a whole village with my legos but daddy didn’t help.”

Pepper sent him a look, but Tony jumped in quickly to defend himself, sending his daughter a stern look. “Peter offered to help but you didn’t let him. You said you wanted to play on your own.”

“You need to learn to share with your brother,” Pepper interjected before Morgan could retort. “I’m sorry Peter.”

“It’s ok,” Peter said with a shrug. “I was emailing Ned anyway.”

“The kids are desperate to get back to school for some reason,” Tony said with a roll of his eyes, leaning over to help Morgan cut her spaghetti to smaller lengths.

“It might be a little while sweetheart,” Pepper said to Peter gently. “I was on a call with the Secretary of State today. She doesn’t think they will be ready to take students back until after the summer.”

“Are they struggling to find teachers?” Tony asked, now grating a liberal amount of cheese over Morgan’s pasta, just the way she liked it.

“Teachers they have. It’s the infrastructure they’ve lost. Five years is a long time. Schools have downsized, not repaired empty parts of the buildings. There aren’t enough books, not enough computers, not enough desks in some places. It’s all a bit chaotic at the Education Department at the moment.”

Tony frowned, his mind already going into overdrive. “How can we help?”

“S.I. are already pushing up production of tablets and computers and providing all New York schools with free access to equipment needed. But it’s the base materials; the plastics, the minerals, the metals. Demand on production has gone up by 50% overnight. It’s…” Pepper took a deep breath. “It’s all a bit of a mess to be honest.”

Tony leant over, grasping his wife’s hand in his. Pepper made an awesome CEO, but it was times like this when she was stressed and overworked that he wished he could jump in and save her. But she didn’t need saving. He pressed a kiss to the back of her hand.

“You’ll figure it out. You always do.”

Pepper sent him a grateful smile and gripped his hand back before going back to her meal.

“So to answer your question Peter, it might be a little while.”

“I’ll still be going to Midtown right?” Peter asked from across the table.

“Of course,” Tony said easily, spooning some green beans onto his plate. “You’re a genius. You need to go to the school for geniuses.”

“That’s something we will need to talk about,” Pepper said, sending Tony that look that told Tony he had mis-stepped. He frowned, not entirely sure what he had done wrong but he had come to learn over the years they had been married that Pepper was nearly always right.

So he swallowed down his question and sent Peter a smile. “Yeah. Pepper’s right kid. We can talk about it later.”

“What do we need to talk about?” Peter asked, wide eyes flicking between him and Pepper. “I mean, Midtown’s my school. It’s where all my friends are. I have to go back.”

“And you will,” Tony said with a reassuring look at his son, valiantly ignoring the look Pepper was sending him. “But we don’t need to talk about it at the dinner table.”

-

It wasn’t until later that night that Tony managed to talk to Pepper.

The kids were both in bed – if not asleep – and the two of them were carefully collecting and tidying away the remnants of having a five-year-old and sixteen-year-old in the house all day.

No one else would have been able to tell but Pepper was giving Tony the cold shoulder. She hadn’t maintained eye contact with him since dinner and had left Tony to do Morgan’s bath on his own. These were all tell-tale warning signs that his wife was pissed at him.

“You wanna tell me what I did wrong?” Tony asked in the end, breaking apart the half-finished jigsaw on the living room floor Morgan had been doing before bed.

Pepper sighed from the kitchen, glancing up at Tony from where she was putting away the dishes.

“You can’t just promise him things Tony.”

“I can definitely promise him things that we know are going to happen.”

“We don’t know that they are going to happen,” Pepper said exasperatedly. “Our home is here.” She gestured around. “It is a three-hour drive to Midtown from here. How is he going to get to school every day?”

Tony frowned, sliding the jigsaw box back under the coffee table. “We always said we would move close to the city when Morgan started school.”

“Which isn’t for another year.”

“So we move the timetable up a bit.”

“Tony,” Pepper sighed, as if he was being the weird one. “You cannot promise him things that you don’t know you can give him. Of course I want him to stay in Midtown with his friends. Of course, I want him to get some normality back as soon as possible. But we need to talk to each other about it before you make the decision for us to move back to the city.”

“I’m sorry,” Tony said, blinking. “I honestly didn’t know there was a question mark on that.”

“Have you spoken to Morgan? Does she even want to move to the city?”

“She’s five Pep. She doesn’t care where we live as long as we are all together and happy.”

“She’s still adjusting too Tony. You can’t forget that.”

“I haven’t.” Tony frowned, rounding the sofa to join his wife in the kitchen. She looked… tired. Not that he was stupid enough to tell her that. Tony pulled Pepper into his arms, giving her a good hug. She melted into it straight away, the tension leaching from her bones in one big exhale. “You’re working too hard,” he mumbled into her shoulder. “Look, we don’t have to talk about this now. Like you said, it will be a while before the schools even think about having kids back.”

“You’re right,” Pepper sighed, leaning harder into his arms. “I’m sorry I got snippy. Everything is just… work is a lot right now.”

“It’s alright,” Tony murmured, pressing a kiss into her shoulder. “How about you sit down. And I pour you a glass of wine. Sound alright?”

“Sounds wonderful,” Pepper chuckled.

Tony let her go and watched with half an eye as she dropped onto the sofa. He pulled out her favourite wine glass and poured a liberal amount of her favourite white wine in there, perfectly chilled from the wine fridge. Pepper accepted the glass gladly but didn’t let him stray very far, grabbing his sleeve and pulling him down onto the sofa to sit beside him. She barely gave him a moment before she curled effortlessly into his side, staring into the roaring fire before them.

Tony looked around his living room. The lake house had a certain rustic vibe that had been so different from all his other houses. But it had been exactly what he had needed when they moved here. The fireplace in front of them crackled and the night was dark outside. Tony had his wife pressed into his side, and both his kids safe upstairs. Yeah, he thought to himself as he leant back into the sofa cushions. Life was pretty good right now.

Chapter Text

Peter found life at the cabin was… not exactly dull. It couldn’t be with Tony and Morgan living there. But it was simple, and far less chaotic than Peter was used to. In Malibu there had been people in and out the house all the time and in New York their tower was also home to the Avengers. Here, in the woods, with just the four of them, Peter was still trying to get used to the change in pace.

There was no civilisation for miles around so he couldn’t patrol, his friends were all miles away and still getting used to being back with their families after the blip, half of his stuff was still in storage and his dad hadn’t talked about going back into the garage since the last time they tried.

In short Peter was… not bored exactly but… a bit unmoored.

And his dad was trying, Peter knew. He tried to include Peter in the games he would play with Morgan. But Morgan looked at Peter like he was intruding and games that entertained four-year-olds weren’t exactly games that Peter would choose if he had a choice.

But then one afternoon his dad announced they were watching a movie.

Peter tried not to get too excited. Movie nights had been one of the constants of Peter’s childhood. Even before Afghanistan, it was one of the few things that Peter and Tony would do together all the time.

He emerged from his loft room cautiously and made his way to the living room.

The open tread stairs lead straight down into the open plan living space. A large sofa sat right in front of a wide TV which was mounted on the wall, already turned on and waiting for a movie to load.

It was a set up Peter was used to. The house in Malibu had an entire cinema room in the basement while the penthouse in New York had a huge wide screen that took up nearly all the wall in their private suite and the Avengers common room. Peter and his dad would sit on the sofa and watch move after movie sometimes.

When his dad got back from Afghanistan they once spent three whole days just locked in the house in Malibu, binge watching whatever movie they wanted until they fell asleep.

The high-tech set up in the lake house looked a little out of place in the rustic building. But Peter guessed that his dad had not changed so much over the past five years that he didn’t like a little tech in his life.

They were already all sat on the sofa when Peter got there. Tony was in their centre, his wife to his right and his daughter to his left. Both of them tucked into his side.

Something caught in Peter’s chest at the sight.

There was no room left.

No room for Peter.

Peter took a deep breath before any of them could notice him standing there and walked forward. This was not a big deal, he told himself. There were plenty of other seats. The armchair to the left of the sofa was super comfy. Peter had spent many an afternoon lazing in it since he came back, reading and trying to catch up with the world that had sped 5 years into the future.

He could sit there.

No big deal.

He walked past the family, eyes not straying as he kept his head down and settled on the armchair.

He took a breath and looked at the screen to see the opening credits of an animated movie he didn’t recognise. He frowned. His dad had always had a strict ‘classics’ policy for their movie nights. Nothing animated was ever allowed, and there was a lifelong ban on any musicals being shown in a Stark household. Even when Peter had begged and pleaded it was one of his dad’s hard and fast rules.

Peter looked over to the sofa, the question written all over his face.

“Saturday is Morgana’s turn to choose,” his dad explained with a smile. “But you were always a sucker for a good Disney princess film.”

Peter forced a smile. “Yeah no problem.”

He felt his dad’s eyes on the side of his head, but he couldn’t look over. He kept it together and kept his eyes on the screen, waiting to see what movie Morgan had picked.

Chapter Text

Tony shifted and then shifted again. The cheap plastic chair was playing hell on his back, and he was pretty sure his left leg had gone to sleep so deeply that there would be permanent nerve damage.

A cacophony of applause broke out around him and Tony belatedly realised that all the crowd of parents were clapping. He joined in half heartedly at the end, earning a ‘look’ from Pepper which he returned with a glare.

Tony sat at the back of the hall, watching the uncoordinated group of five-year-olds prance about on stage. As much as he enjoyed seeing Morgan strut her stuff was he really expected to sit there and watch all these other extremely untalented and unremarkable children trip over themselves on stage?

Really it was embarrassing.

And dull.

Morgan had been in the first group number and Tony had cheered and clapped with the rest of them. But now he was just bored.

Only the promise of Morgan’s solo number towards the end of the show had him staying in his seat instead of escaping like he wanted to.

He pulled out his phone, scrolling through his notifications. Pepper’s sharp cough to his right caught his attention and she frowned at him, pointedly looked at the phone and then back again.

Sighing Tony dutifully locked the screen and started to put the phone away, only for it to light up with an incoming call.

With his phone on Do Not Disturb there were only a few select people who could get calls through to him and sure enough when he looked at the screen Peter’s name along with a highly unflattering photo of his son flashed on screen.

The city dance class had been Tony’s less than subtle foray into reintroducing the Stark family to the city. A moron could have told him that Peter was less than happy with their current rural living and the kid’s bright smile when Tony had asked if he wanted to join them for the evening in the city had been the type of blinding excited smile that Tony loved and sorely missed.

And if letting him patrol for a few hours while Morgan’s dance class recital was on gave Tony just a glimpse of that smile then Tony would take it.

His phone lit up again as the phone continued to ring.

“Tony,” Pepper whispered harshly. “Don’t even think about it.”

“Sorry Pep,” Tony said with a grin, completely unrepentant. “If my child calls I have to answer. That’s parenting 101 right? I’m sure you can handle this part on your own.”

With a final grin at Pepper’s furious face Tony slipped out of the hall. It wasn’t his fault he’d managed to get an excuse to leave while Pepper was forced to endure. She could be such a sore loser sometimes.

“Hey kid,” he answered joyfully once he was in the hall. “How’s patrol.”

“Um, good,” Peter said, his voice fine but slightly nasal.

“So why did you call?”

“Ok… first of all it’s important to know that this was sooo not my fault.”

Tony frowned into the darkness of the hall. “What’s not your fault.”

“So there was this cat right…”

Tony stood in the hallway of the local community hall listening to Peter explain his intrepid rescue mission for this cat.

“And now I’m stuck,” his son finished in the end.

“Stuck?”

Tony heard Peter sigh on the other end of the phone. “I fell off the roof and there was a clothesline and then I tried to web to the building and then the clothesline and the web got twisted… and now I’m stuck…”

“FRIDAY pull up CCTV,” he instructed his phone, pulling it from his face and waiting for the view of Peter’s location to load. And sure enough, a red and blue mass was just visible hanging upside down in the alleyway. “Jesus kid,” Tony snorted as he watched the figure slowly rotate.

“Yeah it’s hilarious. Can you laugh and come get me at the same time please? My hand is going to sleep.”
Tony was already calling his suit and marching to the end of the hall.

“Yeah yeah, I’m coming.”

-

Tony landed at the end of the alley, the helmet of his suit retracted straight away and he stared at the upside down, slowly rotating figure of his son.

“Oh this is even better in person,” he chuckled, taking a step closer.

“Dad come on,” Peter whined from behind his Spiderman mask. His slowly rotating body was intricately bound in a mixture of washing line and his web fluid, creating what was a very effective spider cocoon. Tony couldn’t help but laugh again. “Seriously?” Peter grumbled.

“Wait wait,” Tony said, catching his breath between chuckles. “I have to get the best angle for the picture.”

“Oh come on!”

Tony pulled his phone out of the suit and took a couple of good snaps. “There we go,” he said in the end, surveying the final photo he had captured with Peter looking back at him perfectly ruffled and grumpy. “That’s the one. FRIDAY, save that in my photo album ‘Today on Peter is a Hot Mess’.”

“This is child abuse,” Peter groused, circulating again.

“Sure,” Tony snorted. “You want me to report it for you? I can run get some passersby…”

“No no!” Peter called out quickly as Tony pretended to turn away. “Just… get me out of here.”

-

By the time Peter and Tony made their way back to the hotel they had for the night, Tony’s chuckles had just about petered off. But then he would bring the photo back up and he would start all over again.

“It’s not that funny Dad,” Peter grumbled as the hotel lift pinged open on the penthouse floor.

“Oh you are so wrong Roo,” Tony chuckled, throwing his arm around the grumpy teenager’s shoulders so he could bring the phone closer for Peter’s attention. “Take another look.”

“Dad!” Peter whined for what was the twentieth time on their journey to the hotel.

Tony just laughed, pushing Peter through the opened hotel room door.

The suite was still bright even with the dark New York skyline outside the floor to ceiling windows. At the sound of their entry Pepper looked up from her Stark tablet her eyes flicking between Tony’s grinning face and Peter.

Seeing Peter in one piece Tony saw her shoulders relax and felt a rush of guilt for not letting her know everything was alright. But he had been revelling too hard in Peter’s embarrassment, savouring the feeling that he had the chance to do that again.

He should have called.

“Pep,” he said jovially, trying to shake off the cloud he could see brewing in Pepper’s eyes. “You gotta see this one. It’s even better than when he superglued his hand to the welding bench.”

“Ok first of all,” Peter interrupted, “it was my web fluid. Not super glue. And second of all I have a headache from hanging upside down for over an hour so I’m glad you find it so amusing.”

“It was like a scene from Animal Planet,” Tony continued. “When the clueless kid animal gets himself stuck in a bog and the narrator starts talking about natural selection.”

Peter rolled his eyes and turned away. “I’m going to bed!”

“Careful of any trailing wires!” Tony called after him getting a very rude finger gesture in return just before the bedroom door shut behind him.

Tony turned, finding Pepper stood by the sofa looking very unimpressed. He swallowed.

“Was he OK?” she asked, her voice void of emotion.

“Yeah yeah,” Tony said in a rush. “He was fine. Just a little tangled up.”

Pepper nodded, crossing her arms over her chest. That was a bad sign. “Did you know he was ok when you left?”

“About 78%. You never quite know with him sometimes.” Tony avoided Pepper’s eyes, heading for the mini kitchen. He grabbed a bottle of overpriced water from the fridge. When he turned Pepper was still looking at him.

“But you left anyway.”

“Yeah,” Tony said slowly, unscrewing the bottle top. “He called and needed me. What did you expect me to do?”

“You promised Morgan you would be at her recital.”

Tony rolled his eyes, taking a swig from the bottle. “And I was. I watched her first dance and then I sat through thirty minutes of uncoordinated rambling from children I couldn’t give a crap about.”

“You missed her solo. She was devastated that you weren’t there.”

Tony winced, guilt welling up in his chest. “I’ll explain it to her tomorrow. Something came up. She’s going to have to learn that I can’t be there all the time.”

Pepper’s eyes narrowed. “Peter called and you dropped everything and left. Without even telling me you were going.”

“You knew it was Peter calling,” Tony said, trying not to let his irritation into his voice. “So you knew where I was going. Since when do I have to spell out my every thought for you?”

“Since you disappear in the middle of an important moment without even a backwards glance.”

Something painful tugged in Tony’s chest. He hadn’t done that… well he hadn’t meant to do that. That was a Howard move, and Tony fought very hard to be very much not like Howard in every single way he could, parenting being at the top of that list.

“That’s not fair,” he reasoned, trying to keep his voice level. “He’s my kid and he needed me. I went to help him.”

“It wasn’t an emergency, and you knew it,” Pepper said, taking a step closer to him. “This is not five years ago. Things have changed. You have a child!”

Tony took a sip of water trying to draw in his temper. “I have two kids Pepper.”

“And one is sixteen. He’s had you to himself his whole life. Morgan is five and she has never known you to not be there when you say you are going to be. If you want this to work you can’t do things like that.”

“If I want what to work?” Tony snapped. “This isn’t an optional thing. They are my kids. I need to be there for both of them.”

“Exactly!”

Tony blinked, feeling wrongfooted by Pepper’s sudden agreement with him. He gave her a narrow look. “Good. So we agree. When one of them calls I go.”

“No,” Pepper drawled like he was a complete moron. “Being there for them means not letting them down. You let Morgan down today.”

“So what should I have done in this situation?” Tony threw his hands in the air in frustration. “Yeah he was fine. And yeah when he called I was pretty sure he was fine or FRIDAY would have told me. But if Peter – the kid who hates asking for anything – calls and asks for help it means he needs it.”

“You could have called Happy or-”

“I’m not farming out my parental responsibility to my bodyguard Pep.”

“These were not parental responsibilities. This was a Spiderman responsibility. And you had no problem farming them out to Happy when he first started this.”

“Because I was trying to give him space and teach him responsibility!” Tony shouted, finally losing his grip on his anger. “And if you remember; that brilliant idea ended up with him crashing a plane into Coney Island!”

Pepper’s eyes flashed. “I want to remind you that your daughter is asleep next door and doesn’t need to be woken up by you shouting.”

“And I want you to remember that my son has super hearing and will be able to hear everything you are saying.”

That seemed to take the fight out of Pepper a little. She uncrossed her arms, tucked her hands onto his hips and took a deep breath.

“Alright,” she sighed in the end. “We need to shelve this talk for when we have both slept and Peter and Morgan can’t hear us. I am glad Peter was OK, and that that he feels he can call you when he needs help. But this,” Pepper gestured at Tony like he was the walking embodiment of failed parenthood, “is not how you do this. We can talk about it later.”

Tony gave a nod and turned towards the bathroom. He was really not looking forward to that future chat.

Chapter Text

Peter looked up at the sky. One thing he did like about the cabin was the stars. Away from the light pollution of Manhattan the stars shone bright in the indigo sky. And from his perch on the roof of the cabin Peter had an unobstructed view.

The background rumblings of his family in the house could still be heard by his super hearing but out here it was muffled, more akin to background noise than blaring sounds against his eardrums.

Ever since they had come home from the city – the night of Morgan’s dance recital – the house had felt tense. Peter wasn’t stupid. He knew that Tony and Pepper had fought about Tony running out of the recital early to come get him. And the next morning, looking at Morgan’s unhappy face, Peter did feel guilty about pulling his dad away. But who else was he supposed to call?

His dad had taken Morgan out for a special father-daughter trip to the park and Morgan had been fine when they got back.

But the tension hadn’t gone.

“Kid?”

Peter was startled from his thoughts by the call and he looked down to see his Uncle Rhodey’s head sticking out the open roof window, twisted uncomfortably so he could see Peter up where he sat.

“Hey,” Peter mumbled with a small wave.

“You really gonna leave me downstairs looking after your dad all night? Come down and sit with us.”

Peter hugged his knees in closer to his chest. “Nah, I’m OK.”

“You gonna make me come up there?”

Peter didn’t respond. He just sighed and turned his gaze back up to the skies.

He heard Uncle Rhodey grumbling and then the whirring of his leg braces as he pulled himself out of the window. Then the heavy metal steps as he made his way across the roof to where Peter was sat.

“Whatcha doing out here kid?” Rhodey asked as he sat down.

“I was trying to see if I could hear the city from here,” Peter mumbled into his knees.

“Ok…”

“I can’t.”

“Well, we are pretty far from all civilisation. I would be surprised if you could.”

Peter just hummed in response, keeping his gaze fixed ahead.

He felt Uncle Rhodey shuffling and then a heavy arm dropped around his shoulders. Peter jerked at the contact but relaxed into it quickly. His uncle always gave great hugs.

With Rhodey’s hand on his shoulder and his body warm against Peter’s on the roof, Peter started to relax for the first time in days.

“You want to tell me what’s going on in there?” Rhodey asked, gently ruffling Peter’s hair.

Peter jerked his head away from the touch. But they both knew it was a token protest.

He took a deep breath and said the thing that had been going round his head for the last few days.

“I don’t think Pepper is happy that I am back.”

Peter felt Rhodey tense in surprise. Apparently, his uncle had not been expecting that response.

“Peter, you can’t say that.”

“I can,” Peter huffed with a frown. “Every time I’m around her I feel like she’s staring at me; judging me for infiltrating her perfect family.”

Rhodey pulled away and Peter could feel his gaze on the side of his head. “Kid, Pepper loves you. She’s always loved you.”

“Pepper loved Peter; her boss’s and boyfriend’s kid. Pepper doesn’t love Peter; her husband’s dead child that suddenly came back to life and eats all her food.” Peter took a breath, pulling his knees up to his chest. “She was angry at Dad for coming to get me during Morgan’s recital. And she said I was spoilt so we can’t have FRIDAY in the house. And she won’t let me sit on the kitchen counter or play in the garage or watch the movies I like or-”

“Woah kid,” Uncle Rhodey said, interrupting what Peter realised was becoming an increasingly frantic rant. He slammed his mouth shut and pressed his lips against the back of his knees.

Peter felt Rhodey’s reassuring grip on his shoulder and took a deep breath, letting it out slowly.

It was all just so crazy right now and he wanted it to go back to how it was before. But it couldn’t.

“I’m sure Pepper’s got things she needs to get used to now you’re back,” Rhodey said, giving Peter’s shoulder another squeeze. “Just like you have things you need to get used to that changed whilst you were gone. But you love Pepper. How many times did you ask me if Pepper could be your mom when you were little?”

Peter huffed but didn’t say anything. Because it was true. He had always wondered what it would have been like if Pepper was his actual mom; back when he was little and didn’t understand why everyone else at school had a mom and he didn’t. She had been kind and fun and had paid attention to Peter, not like the rest of his dad’s friends who tried to pretend he wasn’t there.

But he had wanted her to want to be his mom. Not… whatever was happening now.

“Hey kid,” Rhodey said, interrupting Peter’s spiralling thoughts and jostling his arm. “How about me and you get out of here for a secret trip to get some ice cream?”

“Really?” Peter asked, excited despite himself.

“Yup. It’s about time I had some one-on-one time with my favourite nephew.”

Peter rolled his eyes, already feeling a grin tug at the corners of his mouth. “Uncle Rhodey, I’m your only nephew.”
Rhodey just looked back at Peter, his eyes wide, warm and sincere.

“Still my favourite.

“… What about Morgan?” Peter had to ask because as much as he really wanted to hang out with Rhodey he didn’t want her to feel left out either. Rhodey was her uncle too. But for some inexplicable reason his sister didn’t like ice cream. It had been a shock to learn that - although she ate popsicles like they were going out of fashion - the kid didn’t like ice cream. It was something Peter was still having trouble computing.

Rhodey just shrugged. “I just sat with her for over two hours playing princess tea party. I think I’ve done my time.”
Peter snorted and let the smile spread across his face.

Rhodey’s smile turned warm. “That’s more like it,” he said, poking Peter’s cheek.

-

Rhodey dropped Peter home later that night. It was late, the house quiet and seemingly asleep as Rhodey walked him to the door.

Peter was smiling, his cheeks hurting from how much he had been laughing in the car whilst Rhodey retold a story from his and Tony’s MIT days. He glanced through the window of the lake house, the inside still illuminated with the living room lights and spotted his dad sat on the sofa, his head tipped back, mouth open and very much asleep.

“I’d better go tuck him in,” Peter joked, nodding at his dad through the window.

Rhodey peeked in, snorting at the sight. “He’s such an old man.”

“Yeah,” Peter said, trying to maintain his grin but feeling it slip quickly from his face. Because that was one of the other things Peter had noticed since he had got back, his dad did look old.

Before Peter could open the door he felt Rhodey clasp a hand on his arm. He glanced back over his shoulder to see his uncle giving him a knowing look.

“It is different since you are back,” Uncle Rhodey said, his eyes clear and warm. “But different is not bad. This different is great.”

Peter smiled and opened the door, trying desperately to believe that was true.

Chapter Text

The picture was still on the shelf by the sink.

Tony looked at it, absently running a cloth over the used dinner plate.

It was the picture Happy had taken of the two of them when Peter had finally been old enough to intern at Stark Industries. They had done a proper one for the PR team; father and son, the next generation of Stark Industries, the future of the company and whatever other dribble the children in marketing had come up with for the website post. But this one had been just for them; Peter and Tony with their arms around each other, both grinning and being idiots.

Tony couldn’t remember if he used to volunteer for dish washing duty so he could stare at the photo, or if he put the photo there so he could look at it whilst he did the dishes. Either way, it had been a constant in his life these past five years.

His daily dose of dishes and depression.

He used to stare at the photo and Peter’s grinning face and ask the universe why; why of all the billions of people on the planet had they chosen his child to take. Why was it always him who had to pay the price.

A thud behind him broke Tony out of his spiralling thoughts as Peter jumped over the banister and the last five stairs.

“Morgan is clean, teeth sparkling, book read and in bed ready for you to tuck her in. All before eight,” Peter said with a shit eating grin as he waltzed into the kitchen.

Tony swatted his smug child with the end of the dishcloth. “Alright Pied Peter,” he mocked. “Did you blow your tiny flute and have all the children of the village do your bidding?”

“No,” Peter drawled like the little shit he was as he jumped up to sit on the kitchen counter. “I just followed the instructions Pepper left and was firm yet kind.”

Tony squinted his eyes as his son, trying to read his expression.

“You bribed her didn’t you?”

“Yeah,” Peter sighed sending Tony a defeated look.

Tony snorted, turning back to the last of the dishes that needed drying. “Don’t worry kid. It happens to the best of us.”

“So…” Peter said behind him. “What are we doing tonight?”

Tony’s mind went back to the conversation he had had with Rhodey a few weeks ago when the man came round for dinner.

“He just feels a little forgotten about Tony,” his friend had said out on the porch late into the night once he had returned from the impromptu ice cream outing (that Tony had been unjustly excluded from). “Just make sure you spend a little time with him. He never asks for much. And he isn’t starting now. Just…” Rhodey had sighed. “Make some time.”

Make some time for just him and Peter.

Tony could do that.

“Tell you what,” Tony said with a slight groan as he stretched his back and threw the dishcloth onto the kitchen side. “You pick the movie while I tuck the gremlin in. When I’m back I want it queued ready to go.”

“Ok,” Peter said with a grin. It was bright and happy and one that Tony missed fiercely.

“And don’t forget the popcorn!” he shouted over his shoulder as he started towards the stairs.

“Why would you even say that?” Peter muttered in faux insult. “Have I ever forgotten the popcorn? Would I ever forget the popcorn? Which heathen do you think dragged me up?”

Tony chortled as he jogged up the stairs, a warm feeling growing in his chest.

He had missed this.

He loved his new life with Morgan and Pepper – even through the last five years when Peter was gone and it felt like a piece of his soul was missing. But he had sometimes missed the simplicity he used to have; just Peter and Tony. Them against the world.

Tonight, with Pepper way and Morgan in bed at a reasonable hour, they could get just a small slice of that back. Just for a little while.

Morgan was already sat up in bed, reading light on and a book in her lap when he entered her room.

He paused and raised an eyebrow. “Awfully presumptuous that you are getting a second story Madam.”

She just smiled and held out the book. Yeah… Tony really didn’t have much to say to that.

She had thankfully picked an easy enough book for Tony to read without his glasses, the text large and easy to flow through. Tony was done within a few minutes, already preparing to get up from the bed.

“One more,” she said, already passing another book over.

“Morgan,” Tony sighed, glancing at the part open door. He didn’t want to leave Peter waiting too long.

“Please?” she said, staring up at him with those big brown eyes that made him melt every time. Tony was starting to worry that she knew it too.

“Alright fine,” Tony huffed. “Extortion but well executed so you get points for that.”

Her smile was all that answered him as she nestled into his side and he started on her third bedtime story of the night.

-

A snore catching in his throat woke Tony and he silently sprang awake.

It only took a few moments for him to remember where he was. If the glow-in-the-dark stars across the ceiling didn’t give it away, the small warm mass of sleeping child at his hip told Tony he had fallen asleep reading Morgan her bedtime story… again.

It wasn’t the first time he had dozed off part way through one of her books.

He smiled indulgently down at his sleeping daughter, gently brushing the hair away from her face.

She didn’t even stir.

Flipping the book in his hands closed he reached over her little body, leaving the book on the side table. He glanced at the digital clock sat on the bedside.

3:21am.

He silently groaned. There was no way he was going to get back to sleep now.

He settled back against the warm pillows wondering if he would be able to get a few more hours if he just stayed laying there.

The house was quiet around him only the sound of the trees outside that rustled in the slight wind audible. He wondered what it sounded like up in Peter’s room. He started thinking about his plans to plug Karen into the loft room. He hadn’t told Pepper yet, but he was sure he could convince her. If it helped Peter feel more at home…
Then his mind kicked into gear.

Peter.

Shit shit shit shit. His mind chanted to him as he scrambled out of the bed as fast as he could without waking the sleeping child tucked against him. Pulling the door gently and silently closed Tony rushed to the stairs, jogging down them as quickly as his old body would take him.

He knew what he would find before he even entered the living room.

The TV was off, the blankets neatly folded away in their basket and the coasters stacked in their holder.

A cold air of abandon had settled over the room and Tony felt the sickening swell of guilt rise up from within him. This was supposed to be his and Peter’s night. And he had fallen asleep.

Tears stung at his eyes and futile anger at himself churned in his gut.

How was he fucking it up this badly.

He went into the kitchen and saw the large popcorn bowl empty and washed, drying on the drainer. He had an awful image of Peter emptying out the popcorn he had made and silently washing up the bowl while Tony slept. Sure enough, when Tony opened the lid of the bin a pile of popcorn sat on top of the garbage.

“Shit,” he mumbled out loud, not shocked to find his voice thick with tears.

Doing some quick mental calculations he realised that Pepper would be awake in Japan and he dialled her number without really thinking about it.

“Tony,” she answered with a sigh. “You’re supposed to be asleep.”

“Pep,” he croaked into the phone.

“What is it?” she asked, quickly on alert. “What’s wrong?”

“I fucked up,” he admitted, his eyes straying to the ceiling as if he could see through two floors to his son sleeping upstairs, where he had retreated when it was clear Tony wasn’t coming. How long had he waited? Had he come to Morgan’s room to find them both curled up together asleep? Had he tried to wake Tony?

No. Tony knew he wouldn’t have.

“Tony, you’re scaring me,” Pepper’s voice jolted in his ear.

“Peter,” he explained. “We were supposed to watch a movie. I went to read Morgan her story and…. I fell asleep. I’ve only just woken up.”

“Oh Tony,” she sighed.

“I know. I’m a shit dad. They need to take away my licence.”

“You’re not a shit dad,” Pepper soothed, her voice low and calming. “Those kids wouldn’t hang off your every word if you were. You fell asleep. It happens. Peter will understand.”

But Pepper didn’t get it.

The things was, Tony had never shied away from being Peter’s dad.

When he’d got the call from his whirlwind winter romance to tell him that she was pregnant Tony had jumped through every hoop she had wanted him to, to get custody of his kid. There had never been a question for him.

But, in all honestly, Tony had been a mess.

In his darkest of moments Tony had sometimes wondered if wouldn’t have been better to leave Peter with his mother. Rather than let an alcoholic, playboy, walking disaster try to raise a kid.

Tony could see it now - with hindsight, therapy and years of Morgan – that he had not always been the best dad to Peter over the years. He had been flaky and unreliable and slightly unstable. And Peter had compensated for that by being uncomplicated.

So yeah, in the morning when Tony apologised Peter would say he understood. He wouldn’t make a big deal out of it. He’d tell Tony ‘it’s OK’ with a small smile, eat his breakfast and disappear to his room. But it was all a lie. It was not OK.

And it was not a simple thing of getting used to being back together. This was something more. And Tony had no idea how to fix it.

Chapter Text

Peter checked the time on his phone again, tucking himself against the wall out of the way of pedestrians. The city was busy today, with crowds rushing back and forth down the streets of Manhattan.

Happy and the rest of Peter’s security team hung back, dressed in plain clothes as they always had done, blending into the crowd. But Peter could hear the crackling of their radios as they all sent messages back and forth between them, confirming that they had eyes on Peter and that he was safe.

When Peter had been bitten and gained superhuman strength, he had hoped that his security detail would have been the first things to go. But his dad had always been paranoid about Peter’s safety. And the blip hadn’t helped that.

The only reason he had agreed to let Peter go to the city on his own today was if Peter agreed to wear his tracker, take Happy and promised not to ditch his security.

Peter glanced up again, trying to see through the crowds of people exiting the subways station.

“Peter!” a voice called from within the crowd.

Peter’s gaze snapped up and landed on Ned, pushing his way through the gaggle of people.

“Ned!” Peter called back with a grin.

Before he knew it, they were clinging to each other in the middle of the sidewalk. Peter didn’t care if he was in people’s way. He didn’t care if people were looking. It felt like forever since he had seen Ned. And with the way Ned was gripping back at him so strongly, Ned felt the same.

“I missed you so much,” Ned whispered, his voice cracking.

Peter pulled back and held out his hand. Ned blinked, his eyes glassy but it only took a moment for him to grin and hold out his hand too.

As Ned gripped his hand and they fell into the long-remembered pattern of their handshake Peter felt something in the universe settle. At least this would never change.

-

With Peter living so far away and Ned only just having moved back to Queens this was the first time they had seen each other since everything had happened. They had so much to catch up on – with each other and with the world.

But Peter had all day.

The first stop was the comic book shop. The little hole in the wall shop was one of the few still remaining from before. It was small and dark and cramped, but Peter and Ned had found it one summer and had spent time there almost every weekend ever since.

When they went in the little bell chimed above the door and the grumpy man behind the counter barely looked up. It was like old times.

The two of them flicked through the shelves, picking a selection of comics each before making their way to the back of the store where a cluster of old bean bags were.

Peter pulled his backpack onto his lap as soon as they had sat down, grabbing the box he had shoved in there this morning.

“Here,” Peter held out the sleek black box with STARK embossed down the side towards Ned.

Ned’s eyes widened. “Wow!” he breathed, accepting the package with reverence and lifting the lid. His eyes threatened to pop out of his head when he saw the custom-made Stark phone nestled inside. “Dude, that’s so awesome. Tony Stark made me a phone!”

Peter grinned at his friend. No matter how much free Stark tech he had been gifted over the years, Ned still always reacted the same way.

“He’s made you stuff before.”

“I know but… it’s still Tony Stark. I will never be over it.”

They spent some time setting up the phone, picking a new background and getting all Ned’s old stuff loaded on there. Then they made headway trying to make it through every comic that had been released in the five years they didn’t exist.

When lunch came, they had to admit defeat – at least for this week – and trudged a few blocks to a burger joint.

Grabbing their food Peter listened as Ned chatted happily about the new apartment his family had just moved into.

“It’s literally right round the corner from our old house, so I already know all the best places nearby,” Ned was explaining whilst simultaneously trying to eat his burger. It was a bit gross but Peter didn’t say anything. He was too happy.

“That’s cool.”

“You should totally come round for a sleep over once I get my bedroom all sorted!”

“Definitely!”

Ned looked at Peter carefully over their table. “How is it? You know… being back? You have a sister now dude!”

“Yeah. Yeah it’s ok,” Peter said with a shrug. When Ned just looked at him, he continued. “It’s just a lot you know,” Peter admitted. “It’s different. But it’s the same for you!”

“Yeah I suppose. But my whole family dusted,” Ned explained. “None of us remember the missing five years. We just didn’t have anywhere to live for a while. But… god,” Ned’s eyes widened as if he had just had an awful thought. “Imagine if my sister hadn’t dusted. She would have been older than me bro!”

Peter thought about that for a moment, picturing Ned’s little sister with curly bunches as one of those towering girls in senior year.

“Weird,” he breathed in the end.

“Super weird,” Ned agreed.

“So what’s the deal with the cabin?” Ned asked, slurping on his milkshake. “You’re coming back to the city right?”

“Yeah,” Peter shrugged, systematically shredding the cardboard burger box. “I mean… I think so.”

Ned stopped slurping and looked up. “You think so?? Dude, you can’t not come back! What about school?”

“Dad said I was definitely coming back. But then Pepper said we had to talk about it and then…” Peter paused as he realised they had never talked about it since. “She’s been in Tokyo,” he said in the end.

Pepper had only been back for a few days and had spent most of those at the Compound. Now that it had been rebuilt after the battle she was going there more and more. She seemed stressed and – if Peter was being honest – he was kind of avoiding his family at the moment. Well… as much as he could when they were all living in the same house in the middle of nowhere with nowhere to go.

He had been feeling weird since the movie night thing. It made Peter feel squirmy and awkward when he thought about it and he wanted it to go away but couldn’t figure out how.

The thing was… it wasn’t like it was the first time something like that had happened. When Peter was growing up there were loads of times his dad had let him down; when there was a party his dad wanted to go to, or a girl he wanted to go out with. Then with the Avengers, there were always distractions on his dad’s time. But his dad always apologised and was always properly sorry (Peter was pretty sure the only reason his dad had agreed to this day in the city on his own was because he felt guilty and wanted to make it up to Peter).

But this time… This time there was this little voice in the back of Peter’s head poking at him, whispering at him.

Had Tony ever let Morgan down like that?

Peter was pretty sure the answer was ‘no’.

-

Peter could barely breath from laughing. They were walking to the arcade and Ned was telling Peter about how his dad had accidentally walked in on his aunt in the shower when they were staying at her house. And how the screaming had turned into an epic fight about who had actually broken the porch swing when they were kids.

The way Ned told it Peter could totally imagine Mr Leeds shouting at his sister and confessing that he had been the one who drew a moustache on her favourite doll, not her friend at school.

Peter had his hand on the door to the arcade, ready to pull it open, when a beefy hand clamped down on his shoulder. Peter startled and turned, but it was only Happy.

“Peter, it’s time to go.”

Peter frowned and checked his watch. But it was only 2.30pm.

“But-” he started to say only to be cut off by Happy shaking his head.

“Pepper is calling me back,” the man explained with (in his defence) an apologetic look on his face.

“But dad said I could stay till dinner.”

“I know kid. But Pepper needs me. So we gotta go.”

“But dad-”

“Your dad’s not my boss anymore kid.”

“Well can’t I just stay here with the rest of the detail?” Peter asked gesturing at the three guys in sunglasses stood at strategic places across the street. It wasn’t exactly like he was unprotected.

But Happy was already shaking his head. “Your dad gave me explicit instructions not to let you out of my sight.”

“I thought he wasn’t your boss anymore?” Peter snarked.

“Peter can come back to mine,” Ned interrupted. “He can stay over. That way we can hang out until later like we planned.”

“Yeah!” Peter agreed sending Happy a hopeful look.

“Kid you know that’s not how it goes,” Happy said gently. “I’ve never been there. We haven’t assessed the building. We don’t know who lives there or where the entrances are. You know we need to do these things before you stay anywhere.”

Peter huffed but he had gotten over his frustrations at the restrictions that came along with being a prime kidnapping target years ago. It was just so unfair! His dad said he could stay out all day with Ned. Peter had excitedly explained their whole itinerary over dinner last night and his dad had even told Morgan to wait when she tried to interrupt.

Tony had actually listened. His dad knew how important this was to him. How much he had been looking forward to it.

A thought squirmed its way into Peter’s brain. He frowned as he looked back at Happy.

“Why?” he asked, his voice hard.

“Why what?”

“Why does Pepper need you?” Happy’s hesitation told Peter everything he needed to know. He huffed and answered his own question. “Morgan.”

“She wouldn’t be calling me back unless she really needed me.”

“We were supposed to go see a movie.” Peter clenched his jaw as he felt his eyes start to burn. He didn’t want to cry, especially not in front of Happy and Ned and on the street. But it was just so… frustrated. Everything was different now. Everything apart from the city and Ned. He had been looking forward to one day of normality and he couldn’t even have that!

“Look kid,” Happy sighed, sending him a pitying look. “I don’t make the rules. I just follow them.”

“Peter,” Ned said, squeezing his arm. “Hey, it’s fine. I have a phone now. We can video call tonight and watch the movie together online.”

“But we already bought the tickets.”

“I’m sure your dad can pay Ned back for-”

“It’s not about the money!” Peter shouted, regretting his raised voice as soon as he had opened his mouth. A few people walking by looked at him and he felt his face blush.

Suddenly he was super tired.

It didn’t matter what he said. It didn’t matter what he wanted.

“Whatever,” Peter sighed before Happy could shout at him for raising his voice. “Let’s… let’s just go.”

He said goodbye to Ned, hugging him extra tight before he left, listening to Ned’s promises to call him later. He managed to send Ned a small smile. But it felt weird and forced on his face.

Happy clapped a hand around his slumped shoulders as they made their way back to the car.

“I’m really sorry kid,” the man said, giving him a squeeze. “Your dad will make it up to you.”

But Peter had heard it all before.

Chapter Text

A vacation.

That is what they needed Tony had decided.

It had been tense since the ‘movie night incident’ as Tony had dubbed it. Then the mix up with Morgan’s pick up had not been great timing. Peter had ignored him for the whole evening after that one.

A vacation. That had been the plan.

Tony had had grand plans for the vacation.

But Tony’s plans weren’t exactly falling in line.

With all international flights still messed up whilst countries rebuilt their border controls after half the population came back into existence and Pepper getting called into the Toronto office for an emergency merger negotiation, Tony had been left to fend for himself.  

So instead of the relaxing beachside holiday Tony had imagined, he had found himself, Peter and Morgan at their beach house in Malibu.

It wasn’t the original house in Malibu – that one was lying in pieces at the bottom of the Pacific Ocean. This was a little smaller – less ostentatious Pepper had said. It was further up the coast from the main town and had direct access to its own private beach.

Which was where the three of them were hanging out whilst the fire crews and cleaning team sorted out the kitchen.

Tony sighed, patting the retaining wall of the epic sandcastle and town complex he and Morgan were building. He glanced over his shoulder to where Peter was sat on the towel, his face in his phone. Like it always was these days.

Yeah… it wasn’t exactly going like Tony had planned.

“You gonna come join us?” Tony asked his son while smoothing the side wall of the inner parapet that Morgan had just built. “Since we’re stuck out here.”

“I said I was sorry, alright,” Peter mumbled, his face not lifting from the glowing screen. His tone wasn’t helping Tony’s mood.

“And I said not to use the waffle iron,” Tony responded mulishly. “But you didn’t listen to that.”

“I just thought it was another one of your stupid new rules.”

“Yeah. It’s so annoying when my dad tries to stop me burning down the house.”

Peter shot him a look. “I didn’t burn down the house.”

“Only because the entire kitchen is made of marble. Jeez kid,” Tony sighed. “What if Morgan had been in there.”

Peter scoffed. “So it’s alright that I was there when the kitchen was set on fire?”

“Ah! So you admit it was on fire!”

“God you’re so annoying,” Peter mumbled, his eyes going back to his phone.

Their usual banter had developed an undercurrent of malice that Tony wasn’t used to and had no idea how to handle. But what Tony did know was that he was irritated, and disappointed, and hot. And he had sand in places he never wanted sand to be.

And Peter hadn’t even looked up from his phone.

“You need to put the phone down and come join us,” Tony told his son.

“Why?” Peter grumbled.

“Daddy you made the wall too high,” Morgan said, blissfully ignorant of the grumpy teenager behind them. “You need to knock it down and make it the same as this one.” She pointed at the wobbly wall she had made on her side of the castle.

“Sorry little miss,” Tony agreed, obligingly knocking down his impressive sand wall and starting again. “Because too much phone time is bad for your mental development,” Tony called over his shoulder as he remade the wall.

“Since when do you know anything about children’s mental development?”

“Since Pepper made me read a paper about the effects of electronic devices and the development of children’s frontal lobe. So put it away and get your butt over here.”

“Oh well if Pepper says,” Peter snarked, rolling his eyes.

“Ok, that’s enough,” Tony huffed, getting to his feet. This was turning into a standing kind of conversation. “What is with your attitude with Pepper at the moment? All she’s done since you got back is try and make you feel at home!”

“And how exactly has she done that?” Peter scoffed.

“By being there for you. By making space for you. By making sure you had everything you needed…”

Peter let out a sardonic laugh that Tony had never heard from his son before. “You think that’s what she’s been doing?” he asked sarcastically. 

Tony’s eyes widened in surprise. This Peter… this was not a Peter that Tony had ever met. His Peter was patient and kind and forgiving, even when the world did everything to try and force him not to be. His kid was good. This kid… this angry ball of hormones… he had no idea what to do with this.

“Since when are you this kid?” Tony said, throwing his hands in the air. “You’re acting like some internet meme version of a teenager.”

“I’m not acting like anything.”

“Everyone used to say to me ‘god, raising a teenage boy. You’ve got it tough’. And I would tell them ‘no. he’s my child. He’s perfect. Not a single moody teenage bone in his body’. But now… it’s all grunts and attitude and your head in your phone. It’s like you’ve been swapped out by Groot!”

“Very funny,” Peter said, crossing his arms.

“No I’m serious,” Tony took a step forward. “Is that what’s happening here? Heir to a tech fortune was presumed dead and replaced with an evil twin. It’s like a storyline from a bad soap opera.”

Peter’s eyes flashed in warning, but he didn’t back down. “Says the guy who knocked up the ski instructor?”

“OK. So you want me to roll out the list of your greatest mistakes too?”

Tony realised what he had said the moment it left his mouth. He didn’t need to see the widening of Peter’s eyes, or the surprised half step the kid took away from him to know what he had said.

He didn’t mean it like that.

It hung in the air between them for a moment, like a pendulum swinging back and forth.

Tony had always been so careful. Tony knew what the tabloid headlines had said when he turned up with a kid. He knew how cruel those words could be. And he knew that Peter had looked them up at some point. So Tony had been so careful to never say that word, to never imply that Peter in his life was anything more than a happy surprise.

And now…

He wished suddenly that they still had the time stone, that he could take back those last few seconds, those last few words. Because he didn’t mean them. He didn’t and now Peter was backing away.

“Peter,” Tony said, stricken “I didn’t mean that,” he said urgently, taking a step forward and reaching out a hand, as if he could pull Peter back to him. “Please, I didn’t. I was just…. It’s been really hard. And I know it is for you too. We are all just trying to-”

“You didn’t mean it, or you didn’t mean to say it?” Peter asked. His voice had gone blank and something inside Tony went cold.

“I didn’t mean it,” Tony said, he voice sure and steady. “It came out wrong. You were not a mistake. Nothing about you is a mistake.”

“But sleeping with my mother was a mistake.”

“Yes. No.” Tony frowned in frustration. “Stop putting words in my mouth!”

“Daddy,” Morgan’s voice called up from behind him. Tony looked back and realised that he had taken a few steps away from their place on the beach now, matching Peter step for step as the kid backed away. “You’re supposed to be playing with me!” Morgan cried, her face pulling into something very unhappy with a frown. Then her bottom lip started to stick out and Tony knew he was only a few short moments away from a meltdown.

When he looked back up Peter was even further away.

“I’m not putting words in your mouth,” Peter said, sticking his hands in his hoodie pocket. “I am just repeating what you said back to you. Not my fault if you don’t like it.”

Tony started to move towards Peter.

“Daddy!” Morgan cried out from behind him. Tony looked back, and sure enough big fat tears were welling in her eyes. He glanced around the beach but there was no one there, and the distant presence of their security detail were far enough away to be of no use.    

Tony threw his eyes back at Peter, his gaze imploring and his hand stretched out.

“Look, please come over here. We need to talk about this. Properly.”

Peter narrowed, his eyes. “Why don’t you come over here? If you want to talk about it so badly.”

“Because your sister is having a meltdown and-”

Peter laughed harshly; a sound Tony had never heard him make before. “You’ve just told your son that having him was a mistake. But Morgan crying because she doesn’t have your full attention for five minutes is what you are worried about?”

“Damit Peter! Stop being petty and come back here!”

But something shuttered in Peter’s face, something Tony didn’t know was there until it was gone and his chest went cold.

Peter just looked back and shook his head. “Why?”

Tony opened his mouth and then closed it. Then opened it again. What could he say to make this better.

“Daddy!” Morgan screamed in anger behind him.

All Tony did was glance back, to make sure Morgan was still there and safe, even with fat tears rolling down her face. But when he turned back Peter was gone.

Chapter Text

Peter sat on the jagged ground, his legs hanging over the rock face, looking out to sea. It was pretty high up. Peter had never really appreciated how high it was here before. The world below Peter’s feet was a sudden drop of rock leading straight down into the turbulent waters of the Pacific Ocean which churned beneath him.

But Peter wasn’t scared. He had sat on top of the Empire State building and not fallen. He could handle sitting here.

There was nothing here to suggest that a house had once stood on this plot; that Peter’s house had once been here. It had been the house where he took his first steps and where he built his first robot and where he had grown up. Now it was just an empty stretch of rock. The scars from the sudden destruction of the thing that once stood here had eroded away, any trace of the foundations of the home gone.

Peter hadn’t been here when his home had been blasted into dust. He had watched the wobbly grainy video on the news with Uncle Rhodey’s arm tight around his shoulders. Peter’s memories of that time were slightly blurred.

He assumed, logically, that the public destruction of your childhood home was probably something he should feel something about.

But at the time Peter had thought that his dad had died so he really didn’t care that all his stupid toys and books were gone. Then his dad had turned out to be alive and Peter really didn’t care about all of that because his dad was alive.

That was all to say, Peter wasn’t quite sure why he had ended up here. All he had been thinking as he ran from the beach was his need to get away. And he ended up here.

The sound of the Iron Man suit landing heavily behind Peter wasn’t a surprise. Peter had heard the roar of Iron Man repulsors approaching a few minutes ago. It didn’t matter. He hadn’t come here to hide. He had just come here to… think.

Metal on metal sounded behind him, the telltale sound of the nanotech suit retracting and then human footsteps approached, slightly uneven from a dodgy knee but strong and steady all the same.

Those knees creaked as his dad lowered himself to the floor beside Peter.

They didn’t say anything for the moment. Peter wasn’t sure what there was to say.

The tear tracks on his cheeks told the story of what he had been doing here. Once he would have dashed them away, not wanting his dad to see his tears and feel guilty. But now… now he was too tired to pretend.

“Sorry I ran away,” Peter said in the end, his gaze stuck on the horizon. “I didn’t mean to worry you. I just…”

“You didn’t take off your watch,” his dad said beside him, his voice low and gentle. “I knew where you were. I just wanted to give you a minute… give us both a minute.”

Peter nodded, not surprised.

“Is Morgan OK? I didn’t mean to make her cry.”

“She fine kid. And you didn’t make her cry. I did. Nothing some cartoons and an ice pop couldn’t fix.”

Peter took a breath. That was good.

“Are you gonna talk to me Pete?” his dad asked. “I need to know what’s going on in your head.”

Peter grit his jaw and looked out to sea. What was going on in his head? Peter had no idea. How was he supposed to explain it to his dad.

“I just… what’s happened to us Roo?” Tony said when it was clear Peter wasn’t going to say anything. “It used to be you and me, against the world. Now I feel like… we’re against each other. We don’t understand each other any more. I want to fix that.”

Peter opened his mouth. And then closed it again.

How did he explain? How could he formulate all these things running through his head.

It wasn’t just one thing. If it was it could be fixed. But it wasn’t. It was everything. And nothing all at the same time. It was his dad and Pepper and Morgan and their family and the world passing him by and… everything.

“You know, I remember one night here,” Peter said, almost surprising himself as he started to talk. “I must have been about Morgan’s age and I had a nightmare. And I woke up. JARVIS said he would call for you but you didn’t come. So I got up. You were in the living room asleep on the sofa with an empty bottle in your hand.”

Peter had never told his dad this story before. He could feel his dad’s eyes boring into the side of his head.  

“I got the blanket from the armchair and pulled it over you as far as I could. And then I went back to bed. On my own. The next morning you were really grumpy, and you made Happy take me out to a skate park to get me out of the house.”

“Peter…” his dad started, his voice dripping with guilt. But Peter didn’t want apologies, he just wanted him to understand.

“You think that I never wanted you to sit with me after a nightmare?” he asked, turning now to look at his dad. “You think I never wanted you to play with me or read me a bedtime story or make me eggs in the morning just because?”

His dad’s eyes were wide and wet and so full of pain that Peter almost stopped. Because he didn’t want to hurt his dad. He loved his dad. But he needed to say it.

“And I never got angry and I never complained. Because you didn’t need that. You needed me to be quiet and easy and happy, so I was. I didn’t ask you for things because I didn’t know if you would give them to me and I didn’t want you to feel guilty when you couldn’t. So I sat there, quiet and easy waiting for the times when you would give me a scrap of your attention.”

“Kid…”

“And it was ok,” Peter continued, his voice cracking. “Because you were my dad and I loved you and we had so much fun together. I got to do things other kids would never even be able to dream of. And I get that.”

Peter took a deep breath, willing his tears away for just a few more minutes.

“But now I see what you could have been like if you had wanted to and that… It makes me angry that I wasn’t enough… that you didn’t think I deserved that too.”

“Peter no,” his dad said, stricken. Peter started as his dad’s hand grabbed his own where they were twisting together in his lap. “That is not what it is. It’s just… different. I’m different.”

“Yeah. I can tell,” Peter scoffed. He tried to pull his hands away, but his dad tightened his grip, not letting him.

“It was different with Morgan,” his dad said carefully, “When I found out about you… I’d never thought about having a kid before, so I had no idea what to do. The only thing I knew for certain was that I loved you and that I wanted you with me. And the rest… I just had to figure out as I went along. And I made mistakes. Huge ones. But one thing that I never questioned for one minute was how much I loved you.”

“I know you love me dad,” Peter murmured, it had never been about that.

“Then that is a start at least,” his dad said with a weak smile and a squeeze to his hands. “Give me a chance kid. Give me a chance to be the dad you always deserved. We’ve got time. You’ve still got a bit of growing to do yet.”

Peter snorted which earnt him a slightly more normal smile from his dad.

“We’re not gonna fix anything out here on our own. But I hear you Ok? Let me take you home.”

Peter paused. Home.

He didn’t even know where that was anymore. It wasn’t the large white marble house in Malibu they were staying in. It wasn’t the cabin in the woods. The old Malibu house was destroyed. The tower in Manhattan was sold. Where was home supposed to be now?

But he could feel his dad’s eyes on the side of his head. He knew what he would see when he turned. And sure enough dad was looking at him with that wide open-eyed look he got when he was sad and guilty. 

Peter had always hated that look. 

“You fancy an Ironman flight?” his dad said with a nod back at the open metal suit stood centenary behind them.

Peter paused and looked back at the suit. Nothing was really fixed. But his dad was right; they weren’t going to fix it out here.

“Will you do a barrel roll?” Peter asked with a narrow look, because his dad had this weird aversion to doing anything fun with Peter in the Ironman suit.

“How about a dip?” Tony tried.

Peter rolled his eyes. When was his dad going to get that he could literally stick to the side of buildings. He could handle a quick twirl in the air.

“Ok fine, one barrel roll!” Tony huffed in the end. Peter blinked, that had been easier than he thought. His dad must feel really guilty.

Peter jumped to his feet, holding out a hand to help his dad up as his joints groaned. They walked together to the waiting Ironman suit. Ready to go onto the next.  

Chapter Text

Tony followed Peter through the doors of the Malibu house. The sharp smell of bleach hung in the air but the place was blessedly quiet after the day they had had. He dropped his keys in the bowl by the door and took a breath.

It had been a day.

Peter wandered ahead, his hands stuck in his hoodie pocket and looking incredibly small.

“Where’s Morgan?” Peter asked.

“With Pepper’s parents.” Tony kicked off his shoes. “They said they would have her for the night.”

“Oh,” Peter said with a nod. “That’s… good.”

Tony took a breath. And then another. What Peter had unloaded on him at the old house… it had been a lot. Tony had fucked his kid up more than he even knew. But he had to fix it. He needed to fix it.

Peter’s stomach let out a fierce growl. The kid sent Tony an embarrassed grimace, but Tony just smiled. This he at least knew how to fix.

“Let’s get you fed,” Tony said, clapping a hand to Peter’s shoulder. “Skipping meals is bad for Spider-babies.”

-

The kitchen looked good as new. No evidence of their waffle-iron breakfast emergency this morning.

Peter hopped up onto the counter and Tony went about making the kid a sandwich. They had done this loads of times; the two of them in the kitchen, Peter sat on the side watching whilst Tony did all the hard work. The normalcy settled something frantic in Tony and he let it sink into his muscles reminding him that nothing was broken beyond repair.

He stacked as much into the sandwich as he could, just the way the kid liked it, with meat and tomato and mustard and big thick doorstop bread.

“What shape?” he asked in jest, twirling the big bread knife in his hand.

Peter snorted, his heels bumping against the cupboard doors as he let his legs swing. It had been an ongoing joke when Peter was little where Tony would ask ‘what shape’ and Peter would request increasingly impossible and complicated shapes. Tony had even once stayed up all night designing a sandwich cutter when Peter had requested a Mandelbrot set shaped sandwich for lunch the next day. It ended up looking a lot like flower but Peter had thought it was awesome so Tony took that as a win.

“Why don’t we keep it simple for tonight dad,” Peter said with a little smile.

“Where’s your sense of adventure gone,” Tony huffed good naturedly. “Fine. Boring triangles it is. So pedestrian.”

“You don’t have to bend the laws of physics with everything you do.”

“Limiting me to within the laws of physics stunts my creativity.”

“Like the time you thought we could make ice cream with dry ice?”

“Hey,” Tony brandished the knife at his grinning kid. “The theory was solid OK? But I admit the practical application needed further refinement.”

“It exploded,” Peter said with a smile.

Tony grinned too, remembering the mess in the kitchen after that and how Peter had laughed so much he hadn’t been able to get up off the kitchen floor. It was a good memory.

His phone ringing dragged Tony’s mind back to the present and Pepper’s face flashed across his screen.

Peter’s smile dropped off his face, gone in an instant like it had never been there.

“You should take that,” the kid mumbled, taking the plate from Tony’s outstretched hand.

Tony watched his son’s retreating back with an ache in his chest, watching as Peter slid the patio door closed behind him without a backwards glance.

But one thing at a time.

“Hey Pep,” he said wearily, holding his phone close to his ear to counteract any super-hearing transfer. There was a wall of security glass between him and Peter, but Tony wasn’t taking any chances right now.

“Hey,” Pepper greeted. “Everything OK? My mom just called for me to speak to Morgan. I didn’t know she was going there today?”

“Yeah,” Tony sighed. “Me and Pete got into a bit this morning. I need to have a serious pow-wow with the kid. Thought it would be easier if Morgan was elsewhere for that. Sorry. I should have called.”

“It’s alright. Everything OK?”

“No,” Tony chuckled darkly, running a hand through his hair. “No things are pretty far from OK.” He glanced behind him, making sure he could see the back of his son’s head through the glass doors. “He told me some things. About when he was little… about me drinking.”

“Oh Tony…”

“I thought I kept him so separate from all my bullshit. I never drank in front of him. I only partied when he wasn’t around. I thought… I thought I’d protected him.” Tony’s voice caught when he thought about it. He thought about how he had always congratulated himself for not letting Peter see how fucked up he was, how he patted himself on the back in therapy about all the ways he had made sure his destructive behaviours didn’t touch his kid. And now…

“Tony,” Pepper sighed on the line. “Of course he knew about it. He knew about it all.”

“But I-”

“Maybe he didn’t see the drinking,” Pepper interrupted him. “But he saw the aftermath. How many times did he get home from school to you and Rhodey passed out by the pool? How many times did he have breakfast with your latest one night stand? The bottles in the trash. The mess after your parties… he saw all of that Tony. And even if he didn’t, he could read before he was three. You think he never read one of the news articles about you?”

Honestly, Tony had tried not to think about it.

“Have you never spoken to him about it before?” Pepper asked.

“No. No, he never mentioned anything. Why would I bring it up?”

Pepper sighed down the phone and Tony could tell she was disappointed in him. He could always tell.

“Just go talk to him Tony. He’ll be OK if you listen.”

-

Tony slid the patio door open and stepped out onto the patio. The sun was lower in the sky now but still a good few hours away from setting. Peter had curled up at the end of one of the patio sofas, his plate on the floor in front of him blessedly empty.

The kid has his eyes out on the sea as Tony lowered himself gently – minding his old man knees – onto the sofa.

“Was Pepper pissed?” Peter asked in the end.

Tony frowned at the side of his son’s head. “No. Why would she be pissed?”

“Because I made Morgan cry and she had to go stay at Pepper’s parent’s house.”

“I told you that wasn’t on you,” Tony said. “And if she’s pissed at anyone right now it’s me.”

That at Peter swing his head round and stare at Tony with a frown. “Why?”

‘Why?’ Tony thought to himself as he looked at his son. ‘Because I failed you,’ he wanted to say.

Instead, he patted the empty space next to him on the sofa. “Come sit with me.” Peter scooted over and sat right next to Tony, curling into the empty space below Tony’s arm. A surge of relief went through Tony at that.

“First. I’m glad you told me,” he said with a squeeze around Peter’s shoulders. “And we are going to fix this. We are the Starks. Fixing things is what we do. This is no different.”

He felt Peter nod against his chest, but it lacked the usual vigour that his son usually exuded.

“Let’s start with the basics,” Tony said, resting his chin on Peter’s hair. “What is going on with you and Pepper? You used to love Pepper.”

“It’s not about Pepper. Or…” Peter shook his head, “it’s not just about Pepper.”

“Then what is it about?”

Peter paused for so long that Tony thought he wasn’t going to answer.

“You’ve taken everything I know and feels familiar away from me. You’ve created this whole life without me,” Peter said quietly in the end, like a confession. “You’ve created this family and I’m there but it’s like I’m a guest. Like I have to exist in this space you’ve created and not leave any impact there.”

“Kid,” Tony breathed his heart breaking. “It’s your life too. It’s not OK with me if you’re not OK.”

Then Peter pulled away and looked him right in the eye. “So when are we moving back to the city?”

Guilt clawed at Tony’s chest because he hadn’t actually finished having that conversation with Pepper yet.

“Kid, I-”

“Because that is what you said to me. You promised me that we were going back. But that was weeks ago and no one has mentioned it since.”

“You’re right kiddo. I know. I should have followed through on that for you. And I haven’t but I will.”

“OK,” Peter mumbled. But Tony could tell he didn’t believe him.

“I will Peter,” he said firmly, willing with everything in his being that his kid believed him. “I know it is something you need. And your needs are non-negotiable to me.”

And they were, when Tony knew what they were.  

Pepper and Morgan were always clear with what they needed from him – in one way or another. Peter wasn’t like that. He had never been like that. Tony’s mind went back to what Peter had said back at the site of the old house; ‘you needed me to be quiet and easy and happy… so I was’. And he hated that he saw the truth in that now. He always remembered Peter being such a happy kid. But was he really? How much of that was a mask Peter put on to protect Tony?

That was the first thing that needed to change, Tony vowed inside his own head. It wasn’t Peter’s job to protect Tony.

“What else do you need?” Tony asked. Peter looked at him confused.  “Tell me. Anything that comes to mind. Big or small.”

But Peter was looking a bit overwhelmed. Tony tried a different tactic.

“That family therapist Pepper made me go to see; he used to make us do this exercise when I’d messed up, to help me to listen to what Pepper needed from me. We could try that if you want?”

“Um ok…” Peter said, but Tony could tell he wasn’t sure.

“I can go first. Or you.”

“No, you. You go first.”

Tony smiled at his son. “Well, what I need is pretty easy. I need you to be safe. I need you to be happy. I need you to talk to me and tell me what you are feeling.”

“It’s different now Dad,” Peter huffed with a roll of his eyes.

“The world is a bit different. But me and you. That’s not different. You’re my kid and I’m your dad and there is no one else on the planet I love more than my kids.”

Tony clapped his hands. “So that is what I need. No more. No less. Your turn.”

Peter’s gaze was locked out onto the horizon, but Tony could see his eyes moving back and forth, his brain working furiously at a problem just waiting to be solved.

“I just… I need…”

“What do you need?” Tony asked, leaning forward. “What do you need from me. Just tell it to me straight.”

“I need… I need you to not make promises you can’t keep,” Peter said at a rush, sending Tony a furtive look.

“Done.”

“I’m serious Dad. I get that sometimes things and plans have to change but… don’t say you’re gonna do something unless you’re 100% sure in that moment you will.”

“I get it Roos. I do. I’ll sort moving back to the city asap. What else.”

“I need you to tell Pepper to back off me a bit. I’m not her kid-”

“You are!” Tony quickly interjected but Peter was already shaking his head.

“I’m not though.”

Tony sighed, knowing that was an argument for another day. “Well, that’s something you and her need to talk about.”

“And I need you to say no to Morgan sometimes. I need you to make time for me. I miss you.”

Tony felt the tears he had been keeping at bay well up in the back of his eyes. “I miss you too kid. God you have no idea…”

“I don’t want Morgan to miss out on you. Cause you’re… like… really awesome. But I don’t want to miss out on you either.”

“And you feel like you have?” Tony asked gently, trying to keep Peter’s eye. “Been missing out on me.”

“I mean… yeah a little,” Peter said with a shrug. “All the things we used to do together we either can’t do or we do with Pepper and Morgan. And that’s OK. But just sometimes…”

“Sometimes you just want it to be me and you?”

“Yeah.” Peter let out a sigh. “Is that bad? Am I a bad brother?”

Tony chuckled. “No kid. It’s just normal.”

Peter’s shoulders dropped and Tony could tell that Peter felt better already, getting all that off his chest. The rest was up to Tony, to make sure he followed through. It only took a small tug to get Peter to lean back against him where Tony could wind an arm around his son and keep him close.

“I always took you for granted. I know I did,” Tony mumbled quietly into Peter’s hair. “You were so easy to live with and so easy to love it just felt like you’d always been there and always would be. Then when you were gone…” Tony shivered at the memory, still visceral and gut wrenching in hindsight as it had been at the time. “I didn’t know how to function. It was like part of me had been ripped away.”

“I’m glad you had Pepper. And Rhodey. I wouldn’t have wanted you to be alone if I wasn’t there.”

Tony nodded against Peter’s head.

“I had them sure. But being given you was the best thing that has ever happened to me. Without you there is no way that Morgan would ever exist, let alone Pepper tolerating me for long enough to marry me. You made me the man I am now. And I’m sorry it took me so long to figure it out that you didn’t get the benefit of it when you were little. But I’m here now. Ready to give you anything and everything I have as long as you’re OK.”

“Thanks Dad. But really… I just need you.”

Tony pressed his lips into Peter’s hair, pulling him in closer.

He didn’t believe for one moment that was true. Peter was growing up. The days when all he needed was his dad were long gone. But Tony would bask in the illusion of that sentiment for a little while longer.

The rest… well the rest was up to Tony now.