Archive of Our Own ^beta

The waves crashed gently outside the private beachfront villa, the rhythmic hush-hush of the ocean syncing with the slow rise and fall of Zee’s chest. The air smelled of sea salt and sunscreen, and the soft hum of crickets in the distance blended with the sound of the ceiling fan spinning above them. The room was dimly lit—just the soft glow of the bedside lamp spilling onto mussed-up white sheets and bare skin.

Nunew lay curled against Zee’s side, his head tucked just beneath Zee’s jaw, one leg hooked over his, like always. His fingers moved lazily across Zee’s stomach, drawing tiny, thoughtless shapes, as if tracing the comfort he felt in the moment.

The silence between them wasn’t heavy. It was calm. Warm. Like the softest blanket on a rainy morning. It was the kind of silence that didn’t need to be filled—because everything they needed was already here, in the closeness, in the afterglow, in the quiet comfort of shared breath.

Zee’s hand moved gently through Nunew’s hair, his fingers brushing through the soft, damp strands again and again, like he couldn’t stop touching him. His thumb lightly grazed Nhu’s temple, his other arm holding him close, like if he loosened it, even a little, everything might fall apart.

“Hia?” Nunew mumbled, voice muffled against his skin. He was barely awake, but the stillness in Zee’s chest made him open his eyes. “What’s running in that head of yours?”

Zee didn’t answer right away. He kissed the top of Nunew’s head, lingering there, before pulling the blanket a little higher, wrapping them tighter.

“…I almost left.”

Nunew blinked slowly. “Left?”

“The industry,” Zee said quietly. “Acting. Entertainment. All of it.”

That made Nunew lift his head fully, his cheek resting on Zee’s chest as he looked up at him. The sleepiness in his eyes was gone now. “What do you mean?”

Zee stared at the ceiling, the corners of his mouth turned down ever so slightly. “There was a time, before I met you, when everything just felt… too much. Too loud. Too painful. The bashing, the hate, the comments that twisted who I was. The way some fans talked about me, like I wasn’t even a real person. Just a name. A rumor. A face.”

Nunew went very still. His fingers, once drawing lazy circles, now rested flat on Zee’s chest, as if trying to feel his heartbeat, to understand the hurt behind his words.

“I wasn’t okay, baby,” Zee admitted, his voice soft but steady. “There were nights I’d come home and just sit in the dark. No music. No lights. I’d just sit there, thinking… maybe this isn’t for me. Maybe I wasn’t meant for this life. I kept working hard, I kept smiling in public, but inside, I felt so tired. So alone.”

Nunew didn’t say anything. He just listened, his eyes stinging.

“I felt invisible, even when the cameras were on me,” Zee continued. “Like no matter how much I gave, it was never enough. People left. Doors closed. I thought… maybe it would be better to walk away. To disappear quietly.”

Zee paused, and in that silence, Nunew gently reached up to hold his face, his thumb brushing Zee’s cheek, like grounding him back to now.

“But then,” Zee whispered, eyes finally meeting Nunew’s, “you happened.”

Nunew’s breath caught. “Hia…”

“You came into my life with the softest heart and the brightest smile,” Zee said, voice shaking a little. “You looked at me like I mattered, before anyone told you that you should. You made space for me in your world. You asked if I had eaten, you saved me the last bite of cake, you offered me your hand without expecting anything in return.”

Zee’s thumb traced the curve of Nunew’s cheek now, like he was memorizing him again. “You made me laugh again. Really laugh. The kind that makes your stomach hurt. You made me want to be seen. Not just as a celebrity, or a name—but as me. Just me.”

“I remember one night,” Zee added with a small smile, “I saw a comment online. It said, ‘Nunew is heaven’s apology for Zee.’”

Nunew blinked, lips parting. “That’s so cheesy…”

“I know,” Zee chuckled softly, “but when I read it, I cried. Because for the first time, it felt true. Like maybe… maybe I really was given someone to balance out the pain.”

Nunew couldn’t stop the tears that slipped down his cheeks. “Hia, stop, you’re making me cry like a baby.”

Zee reached up and gently wiped them away, kissing the corner of his eye. “You saved me, baby. You pulled me back into the light. Without you even knowing it.”

But Nunew shook his head, eyes still glassy. He placed his hand over Zee’s heart, feeling its steady beat. “No, Hia. You saved yourself. I just… came along and held your hand.”

Zee’s throat tightened. “Still. You made it easier. You gave me a reason to smile. You let me be soft. You never made me feel like I had to be strong all the time.”

“And you,” Nunew whispered, “you taught me how to believe in myself. When I was scared before a show, when I thought I wasn’t good enough—you were always there. Telling me I could do it. Holding me when I shook. You believed in me until I believed in myself.”

Zee gently rolled onto his side, guiding Nunew with him until they were face to face. His hand came up to rest against Nhu’s cheek, their noses almost touching.

“I love you, baby,” he whispered. “More than I can explain. Thank you for staying. For choosing me, again and again.”

“I love you more, Hia,” Nunew whispered back, brushing his lips against Zee’s. “But if you ever hide something like this from me again, I swear, I’ll cry so loud the heavens will send a complaint.”

Zee chuckled, the sound vibrating softly through his chest. “Okay, okay,” he said, kissing the tip of Nunew’s nose. “No more keeping things from you. Ever. I promise.”

“Good,” Nunew replied, snuggling closer, resting his head back against Zee’s shoulder. “Because I want to be part of everything with you. Not just the happy parts.”

Zee hummed and wrapped his arms tighter around him, one hand trailing slowly up and down Nunew’s spine. “You already are. You’re part of everything. You are everything.”

Nunew smiled, cheeks warm. “You always say things like that when I’m too sleepy to fight back.”

Zee raised an eyebrow. “Fight back?”

“Yeah,” Nunew grinned. “Like saying, ‘No, you’re everything!’ So now you win.”

Zee laughed, eyes crinkling with joy. “Fine. Then I’ll say it again when you’re fully awake, and we’ll see who wins.”

They lay there for a while, wrapped in each other, listening to the ocean’s slow music outside the villa. The breeze through the window was cool, brushing against their skin, but their warmth came from each other.

After a quiet moment, Zee spoke again, voice softer this time. “Have you ever thought about the future?”

Nunew blinked up at him. “All the time.”

“What do you see?”

Nunew bit his lip, thinking. “Hmm… I see us waking up in a small house by the beach. With a garden. You’ll be in the kitchen, wearing one of those cute aprons I bought you, making breakfast.”

“I do not wear cute aprons.”

“You will,” Nunew said seriously. “Because I’m going to buy one with little cats on it, and you’re going to wear it with pride.”

Zee snorted. “Fine. What else?”

“After breakfast, we go for a walk. We have your huskies and my cat. We’ll be holding hands and you’ll pretend not to be tired, even though you stayed up editing some script or business stuff.”

“Sounds… peaceful,” Zee murmured, eyes full of quiet wonder. “I want that.”

“What about you?” Nunew asked, lifting his head again to look at him. “What do you see?”

Zee brushed his fingers across Nunew’s cheek. “I see you standing on a stage, shining like always. And me, somewhere in the audience, cheering the loudest. Or maybe behind the scenes, helping you into your costume because you’re always rushing.”

“I do not rush!”

“You always forget something,” Zee teased. “Last time it was your socks.”

“It was one time,” Nunew said, pouting.

Zee smiled. “Still, I see us—older, maybe even a little slower, but still… us. Still waking up tangled in each other. Still teasing. Still talking about dreams.”

Nunew’s heart swelled so big it felt like it could burst.

“I want to do everything with you,” Zee added. “Whether it’s boring stuff like folding laundry or exciting stuff like buying our first house. As long as I get to do it with you, I’m happy.”

“You’re really trying to make me cry again,” Nunew whispered, voice wobbling.

“I just love you,” Zee said. “And I’m proud of you. For everything. For working so hard, for growing, for being so kind and thoughtful every single day. Even when no one’s looking.”

Nunew bit his lip. “That means everything, Hia. You’re always the one pushing me forward. Even when I’m scared, you never let me give up on myself. You make me feel like I can do anything.”

Zee kissed him again, slow and sweet.

“I love how you believe in people,” Nunew continued, now holding Zee’s face gently in his hands. “Even when they don’t believe in themselves. I love how you talk to staff with respect, how you always thank the makeup artists. I notice those things. I fall in love with them.”

Zee blinked, clearly moved. “You really see me, don’t you?”

“Every piece of you,” Nunew whispered. “Even the ones you try to hide.”

A beat of silence passed. Then:

“I was going to save this for our anniversary,” Zee said, voice a little shaky, “but… I’ve been looking at places. Beachfront. Small. Cozy. With space for a garden.”

Nunew froze. “You—what?”

Zee smiled. “It doesn’t have to be now. Or next month. But someday. I just… want a place that’s ours. Somewhere we can grow old and laugh about the dumb stuff we did when we were younger.”

Nunew stared at him, teary-eyed again. “Hia…”

“Maybe even put a hammock outside,” Zee added casually. “Where we can nap in the afternoon and argue about who gets the last bite of mango.”

“I always get the last bite,” Nunew declared.

“In your dreams.”

They both laughed, noses bumping as their foreheads pressed together.

“I’m keeping you forever, you know,” Nunew whispered, tracing Zee’s collarbone with his fingertips.

“You’d better,” Zee said, lips curving into a grin. “Because I’ve already written you into every chapter of my life.”

Their lips met again, slow and certain, like the soft turning of a page.

And in that quiet beachfront room, with the ocean outside and their future glowing gently in the space between their words, love didn’t need to be loud.

It just needed to be real.

And it was.

It always had been.