Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

As Jake walked into the precinct, Holt called him in, “Can you get Santiago? We need to meet privately.” Peralta smirked, “Oooo, did Santiago finally get in trouble, accidentally spell ‘handcuffs’ wrong?” 

Holt’s expression remained neutral as always, “No, actually, it involves both of you. Additionally, Peralta, ‘handcuffs’ is a fairly easy word to spell. If she misspelled it, I would be worried she was having a stroke.” Jake scoffed, “Can you not act like a robot for once?” 

Holt paused, acting like he was thinking, “No. I enjoy my personality. Now, please retrieve Santiago.” Jake shrugged, “Worth a try, I’ll be right back, Captain." He spun to face the front of the precinct. It was surprising to him when Amy wasn’t at her desk, but right next to it, a uniformed officer turned the opposite direction. Who could that be? He furrowed his brows and briskly walked to the officer. The officer turned around, and it was–Oh Teddy. Teddy Wells. Amy’s boyfriend. Jake was not prepared to see Teddy.

He bit back a sneer and instead smiled through gritted teeth. “Hey Teddy! Do you happen to know where Amy is?” Teddy grinned, “Oh hey,” He put his hands at his side. She went outside for a quick moment. Why? Do you need her?” 

Jake nodded, “Yeah, I needed her, thanks, see you later.” He made his way to the balcony. 

Amy had her back leaned against the brick wall, holding a cigarette between her teeth. The only time Jake has ever seen Amy smoke was before her brother, David, was going to come by the precinct. She took another long drag. Unsure what to do, Jake tapped Amy’s shoulder. Amy yelped involuntarily. “Oh my God!” She abruptly rotated. Her hair was curled at the ends, her cheeks rosy, and her lipstick bright red. 

“Hey Santiago.” He examined her frightened posture and took a step back. “The captain just asked for us in his office.” Amy’s shoulders dropped, and she exhaled. “Oh, it’s only you, I thought you were Teddy.” She put out her cigarette, “I don’t do this often, it’s just that I’m nervous about my date with Teddy.”

His jaw clenched, “Oh! A date, how nice! Doesn’t our shift end in three hours?” Amy sheepishly grinned. “Yeah, but Teddy dropped me off a pilsner.”

Jake tilted his head. “A pilsner?” She sucked in a breath, “Mhm. He really likes them.” 

They remained in a still silence for six seconds. “Wanna go see what the captain needs?” Amy continued. Jake ran a hand through his hair, “Yep. Sounds good. Let’s uh see.”

The two scrambled into Holt’s office. “Hey there! I got Santiago!” He gestured dramatically to the detective next to him. Holt cleared his throat. “Detectives, you might want to sit down for this.” They shared a glance and sat in the two black chairs. 

“Our suspects have been attending a remote couples retreat in the Catskills. The resort serves as a front for a money laundering operation tied to Benny John. We need two officers to go undercover as a couple.”The detectives nod. It wasn’t their first time acting as an undercover couple. Matter of fact, they had gotten pretty good at it. 

“The cover will require prolonged close contact,” Holt continues. “Daily couple activities. Shared quarters. Emotional vulnerability. Potentially kissing.” They both froze. Potentially kissing?   “I’ve taken the liberty of registering you under the names ‘Jake and Amy Peralta-Santiago’. Check-in is tomorrow at noon.” 

Amy looked like she was going to pass out. “Uh, sir?” Her voice is going slightly higher than usual: “I have a boyfriend.”

“This is not a romantic assignment. It’s an infiltration. Your personal lives are irrelevant.” 

Amy stiffened, and her jaw clenched like she had been slapped. “Of course, sir.” Her stomach queased; this was the happiest and the most anxious she’s been for months. Perhaps she liked the idea of being domestic with Jake Peralta. But you know who wouldn’t? Her very safe and reliable boyfriend that was right outside that door. On the other hand, Jake was smiling smugly. But of course, he wasn’t actually interested in this. It was probably amusing for him. He hadn’t shown any indication he was interested in her. It was simply unrequited. Or was it? 

“Dismissed!” Holt said loudly, awaking Amy from her thoughts. She politely smiled and made her exit. She kept her gaze primarily on the floor and then forced herself up at Teddy. He flashed her a grand smile. “Hey there, babe.” Okay, Amy, this is okay. This is your boyfriend. It’s not even a big deal. It’s part of being in the NYPD. “Er, Teddy, can we talk?” She brushed stray strands of hair behind her ear. Teddy sat down in the perp chair positioned right next to her desk. The detective perched on her seat. Amy fidgeted with the hem of her blouse.“So I have an undercover case with–” 

“Amy! Hey, I thought about our love story! We met on a carnival cruise, and you were dancing sadly by yourself, and I was–” He skidded to a stop. He grimaced. “Hey Jake, why don’t you go scurry away?” Amy snapped. Without any hesitation, he B lined back to Captain Holt’s office.

She exhaled. “Okay,” She said, voice cracking, “So I have an undercover case with Jake…and we have to pretend to be married for like a month.” Teddy blinked.

“And it might involve kissing.” Amy swallowed, looking down at her gray slacks. Her favorite pair. One of her brothers, Marcus, got them for her on her twenty-fifth birthday. But unfortunately, a pair of gray slacks couldn’t help her now. 

“..What do you mean by ‘kissing’ Ames?” He let out a breathy laugh. Not a good a ha-ha funny laugh no, a what the heck are you talking about right now? Amy flinched at the volume of his voice. “I-It’s part of a cover. Purely professional–” 

“Holt wants you to kiss another guy?” He snapped, voice rising. “Seriously?” She shook her head, “It might not even happen. It’s not romantic–” Teddy once again cut her off. “But you’re playing house with him for a month, you didn’t even think to ask me?”

Amy Santiago felt a pang of irritation. This was her life. Hell, she didn’t even have to tell Teddy. But she wanted to be a good girlfriend and let him know. She clicked her tongue, “Ask you?” She sneered. “Who do you think you are? I’m not going to say no because my boyfriend is a little uncomfortable.” Amy stood up, “You know what. Dates cancelled. See you in a month.” She seethed.

Teddy scoffed. “Okay. I see where I stand.” He picked up his pilsner, which he had gifted to Amy earlier. He stormed out of the precinct, taking the stairs. Her face formed into a frown, and she studied the precinct to make sure no one was paying attention. Quickly, she rushed to the women’s bathroom.

Chapter Text

That night, Amy stared at her phone. What was reflected was Teddy’s apology text.

[rcvd] Teddy: 

Hey babe. I’m sorry.

I don’t wanna lose you. Talk after your mission?

Amy’s stomach churned. This was what she needed. To keep having Teddy as her boyfriend, and try her best to ignore all lingering thoughts about Jake. 

But was this what she wanted?  Her phone vibrated again. Now it was Jake.

[rcvd]  Jake P:

we never did quite talk about tomorrow, so do you wanna drive or me? 

She bit her lip. 

[sent] Ames: 

Yeah, we didn’t. I can drive if you want, it’s only 2 hours. I’ll pick you up tomorrow morning. 

[sent] Ames:

Also. Please set like fourteen alarms. I’m not joking, I will strangle you if you are not outside when I honk.

[rcvd] Jake P:

i solummly swear. 

[sent] Ames:

Solemnly*

[sent] Ames: 

Goodnight Jake.  

[rcvd] Jake P:

night night don’t let the bed binders bite.

His alarm went off at 9:00 AM. He wasn’t going to mess this up for them. He rolled over and turned off his annoying alarm. He had already seen three texts from Amy. 

[rcvd] Ames:

Jake, you better be at your front door by 9:45.

[rcvd] Ames:

It’s going to be freezing in the Catskills. Do not forget to have warm clothes.

[rcvd] Ames: 

Remember, we are going to be there for a month.

Jake blushed at his phone. Is it weird that this made his stomach flutter? 

[sent] Jake P:

thx for reminding me mom.

He pushed himself off his bed and stared at the apartment around him. His clothes were scattered into two piles. Clean and dirty. He sorted through the piles and tried to find ones that were warm enough.  He found eight pairs of outfits he could probably rotate. He shoved them in a small black duffle bag. There he had underwear and clothes.

He stood up and walked the short distance to his bathroom. He grabbed his toothbrush and toothpaste, one bottle of pine-scented cologne, Old Spice deodorant, and his hairbrush. He grimaced at the scarcity of what he had.  Jake was a pretty simple person. He didn’t have that many toiletries that others may have. He didn’t even need a razor because he never grew enough hair to shave. He threw it in his duffle bag and checked around his apartment for anything he might want to bring. 

His ADHD medication was probably a good one. He grabbed the bottle and examined the label to confirm they weren’t expired. He wasn’t sure the last time he took them. They were still good.  Jake glanced around for the last time and nodded. There wasn’t much he could take with him. Unless he wanted to bring a deck of UNO cards. 

He still felt like he was forgetting something.  “Come on, brain, be useful for once.” He murmured. 

“Socks!” He exclaimed. He rushed to his bedroom. Jake went through the pile of clean clothes and searched for a pair of socks that didn’t have holes in them. 

“Only two?” He said, feeling a little deflated. It’ll be fine, it’s cool. He threw the socks into the bag and zipped it up. Jake checked the time on his phone. It was only 9:16 PM. He still had time to change and eat his daily cereal with orange soda. 

Amy pulled up to Jake’s apartment at 9:45 on the dot. “Please be awake,” She mumbled under her breath. After a single honk, Jake rushed out with his duffle bag and his usual grin. She unlocked the trunk and climbed out of the driver's seat. After multiple pep talks in the mirror that morning, Amy had mostly calmed down her anxiety. This was just Jake, right? Nothing was going to happen. Everything will be fine. 

“Hey, Jake. You can place your luggage in the trunk.” 

He smirked, “You sound like a whole flight attendant.” Amy rolled her eyes and shut the trunk. Jake patted his pockets, like he was searching for something. She ran her hands over the wheel. “Jake, do you have your phone?”

Jake sheepishly smiled, “Just give me a second.” He checked his back pockets. “Ah ha! Found it.” He waved his phone around in the air.

Amy exhaled in relief and started to drive.  “Road trip! Road trip!” Jake started to chant, “Hey, do you wanna listen to Enya?”

Amy furrowed her brows, “You know Enya?” 

He nodded rapidly. “Yes! My mom loved Enya and used to play it when I was in high school. And it started to grow on me.”

The ends of Amy’s lips curled, “That’s sweet, Jake.” And then quickly, she grimaced . Was that too affectionate? Get a grip. 

Jake plugged his phone into the AUX and turned on “Orinoco Flow”. Amy tapped to the beat of the song on the steering wheel. 

Perhaps this wouldn’t be so bad.