Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

The clatter of dishes filled the kitchen as they landed in the sink with a splash of soapy water. Oczy let out a deep sigh. It was Friday night, and he had the whole weekend ahead of him. No plans. Nothing.

Meanwhile, his siblings were off living their vibrant, social lives. Aleksy, the oldest, was busy planning a wedding with his fiancée, Elwira. Mikolaj—his younger brother—was heading to the mountains with his girlfriend, Alina, for a camping trip. And their youngest sister, Lucyna (or Lucy), was away visiting universities with their mother, while their father tended the farm.
Oczy, on the other hand, had no plans. He was the outlier. The quiet one. The introspective one. Sensitive, open-hearted, and completely transparent with his emotions—he'd always been the black sheep of the family. Not that he minded or felt shame about it. 

His siblings were a rowdy, outgoing bunch. Aleksy, twenty-six, was a mechanic, part-time musician, and like all the Wojownik children, still helped out on the family farm. Miko, twenty, was a video game, sports, and science enthusiast currently studying to become a physician. Sixteen-year-old Lucy was the animal whisperer of the family, destined for veterinary school. 

And then there was Oczy. Twenty-four. Stargazer. Dreamer. His head had always been in the clouds, his eyes drawn to the cosmos. He was in the final year of his master’s in astronomy—after earning a bachelor’s in it, and minors in earth sciences —like biology, geology, and geography. The subjects had always come easily to him, shaped by a lifelong fascination with the earth and sky. Growing up on a farm helped this natural progression for him. He loved it. 

He also worked at POLSA—Polska Agencja Kosmiczna—Poland’s space agency. There, he was a research assistant— or “RA”, recognized for his dedication. He was already promised a higher position once his degree was complete. An exciting and high honor! 

Still... something tugged at him.

For all his academic and professional success, Oczy couldn’t ignore a quiet ache—a sense of having missed out. Not in the “regret” kind of way. More like… curiosity. His siblings and friends had all dipped their toes into love— or at least something close to it. Dates, kisses, cuddles, someone to hold at night. Meanwhile, he hadn’t even been on a date. Never held hands. Never kissed anyone.

He was a 24-year-old virgin.

It didn’t bother him, exactly. His family never teased him or pressured him to marry or “get out there.” In fact, his sexuality and pace were respected. But lately, a little voice inside him whispered: maybe it’s time?

Running a hand through his thick, wavy hair, Oczy sank into the couch with another sigh. 

What was it his therapist said again?


“If you want it enough, you can make time for it. The right person, with similar life goals, will understand and fit into your own goals and lifestyle.  And remember—it doesn’t have to be serious. People date for fun, too. Just be clear about your intentions.”

“Right.” he murmured to himself. 

He picked up his phone. 

Maybe it was time to for him to dip a toe in now. No harm in trying, right? He could always delete the app.

Oczy began tapping through a few dating apps, unsure what he was even looking for. He was bisexual, still figuring things out, and needed something that let him be flexible—room to explore and change his mind. 

After a little research, one app stood out:

Glimmr.

~*~

Download complete.

One of the first steps was picking a username. Luckily, the app helped generate suggestions based on his interests. In the end, he chose one that felt right:


Celestial_seeker.

“Now the bio...” he muttered to himself.

He filled in the basics—name, birthday to generate age, location. Seeking? Men and women. Looking for? Casual fun. Age preference? Oczy chose the range. 

The screen loaded to the next step: Write a short bio.

“Oh no,” he groaned. Talking about myself? Really?

Bio writing was like torture. He had already had to go through something similar when he introduced himself at work. But this was different. His anxiety disorder, diagnosed depression, and shaky self-esteem didn’t make it any easier. He hated “selling himself,” hated the idea of trying to look interesting enough for a swipe or a click.

Just then, his phone rang, the vibration nearly making him jump out of his skin.

“AH!” he yelped, fumbling the phone and nearly dropping it on his face.

The screen lit up with a familiar name.

Aleksy.

Oczy hesitated for a second, then answered.


“Hey, Aleksy.”

“Cześć, lil’ bro,” came Aleksy’s voice, upbeat and familiar. “You sound weird. Everything okay?”

“Yeah,” Oczy said, sitting up straighter. “Just… uh, trying something new.”

“Oh? Likeeee what? Stargazing on the moon?” Aleksy teased.

Oczy let out a breathy laugh. “No. Dating app.”

There was a pause.

“You?” Aleksy finally said, in mock astonishment. “Oczy Wojownik? Downloading a DATING app? Do I need to sit down???”

“I already feel stupid,” Oczy muttered.

“Stop it. I’m proud of you! You’re going to do great.” Aleksy said warmly. “Which one?”

“Glimmr.”

“Ohhh, Glimmr. Good choice. That one actually looks decent. Elwira helped her friend sign up on it.”

Oczy blinked. “Really?”

“Yeah. Elwira says it’s LGBT-friendly, chill, and doesn’t feel like you’re shopping for meat at the market.”

A small laugh escaped. “Okay, that makes me feel a little better.”

“Sooooo… what’s the issue?” Aleksy asked.

“The bio. I have no idea what to write. I’ve been staring at this blank screen for ten minutes.”

“Dude. You literally write research proposals for space telescopes and shit.”

“Exactly. I’m great at writing dry science. Not about myself.”

“Alright, alright. Let’s do it together,” Aleksy said. “I’ll ask questions, you answer. Ready?”

“...Fine.”

“Cool. First: What do you love?”

Oczy frowned, thoughtful. “Stars. The feeling of cold grass on your back during summer. The moment between night and morning when the sky is still navy blue. Animals. Baking. Long bike rides. Playing piano— well, music in general. Tea with maybe a little too much honey. Documentaries….”

Aleksy chuckled. “That’s actually very sweet. Okay, now let’s turn that into human language. Something like... ‘Astronomy grad student with a passion for stars, science, animals, baking, and obscure science facts. I’ll bring the tea if you bring the curiosity.’”

“That’s... not something. I mean.. its not completely terrible.. just..—”

“Not terrible? You wouuund me!!” Aleksy groaned dramatically, teasing. “Fine. Add more. Say something about your personality.”

“I’m introverted. Quiet. But not boring. I think a lot. Feel things hard. I’m not good in crowds, but I’m a great one-on-one.”

Aleksy typed on his own phone. “Okay, so what about: ‘Introvert with a loud mind. Deep thinker, soft heart. I’m better at quiet nights and good conversations than parties or crowds.’"

Oczy blinked. “Wait. That’s actually… really accurate.”

“I’m your brother. I know you. And you’re not as invisible as you think. You’re a great catch, Oczy.”

“…Thanks. But maybe it should be shorter?”

“Mm, okay— how about…Astronomy RA and master’s student by day, stargazer by night. Inexperienced, but curious and adventurous.”

“That. … I like that. Thank you, Aleksy..” Oczy’s voice was still nervous. 

“No problem! It’s good— it’s short, but sweet and clear!” Aleksy said, his voice softer now. “Want to add something about what you’re looking for?”

Oczy hesitated. “I don’t know. I’m not even sure what I want yet.”

“Then just say that. People like honesty.”

Aleksy dictated aloud as he typed. “‘New to this. Curious. Open to connection—whatever form that takes. Just here to explore, not rushing anything.’”

“Close..”

A hum came from the other end of the phone. “Maybe more like… Open to meeting up for drinks, good conversation, and a good time. No expectations beyond that.”

Oczy smiled. “I like that.”

“Good. Add a joke, and you're golden. Humor softens the soul.”

Oczy chewed on his lip. “Maybe… Do I need to?”

“Nah, try out what you got first and then you can always edit it later if you want! You’re a smart and funny guy— they’ll get to see that once they start talking to you.”

By the end, Oczy stared at the bio, surprised. It felt like him. Not perfect, but honest.

He hit save.

Oczy | 24 | ____ , Poland
Seeking: Men and Women. Casual Fun.

Astronomy RA and master’s student by day, stargazer by night.
Inexperienced, but curious and adventurous.
Open to meeting up for drinks, good conversation, and a good time. No expectations beyond that.

“There,” he said. “It’s done.”

“Proud of you, man,” Aleksy said. “Seriously. You don’t have to change who you are, okay? You’re enough as you are.”

“…Thanks, Aleksy” It was a soft, warm, and gentle thank you.

There was a pause.

“Also,” Aleksy added with a grin in his voice, “if you do end up going on a date... I’m 100% buying you condoms and texting you forty-eight reminders to hydrate.”

Oczy whined in embarrassment “Please don’ttttt.”

“Oh, I will. It’s my duty as your older brother to keep you SAFE. But okay okay, I’ll text you FIFTY times to hydrate.” Aleksy, king of Oczy’s ‘gremlin’ siblings, mused. 

They both laughed.

And for the first time that night, Oczy didn’t feel quite so alone. In fact there was now a glimmer of hope that maybe, just maybe, things would work out after all..

Chapter Text

Saturday morning came quietly, creeping in through the curtains like a polite guest. The house was still, save for the ticking of the kitchen clock and the occasional whir of wind outside. Oczy sat curled up on the living room armchair, wrapped in a knit blanket his babcia had made before she passed.

His tea was steeping nearby, floral and fragrant, but he hadn’t touched it yet.

Instead, he stared down at the glowing screen in his hands— Glimmr.

The app had notified him he had four profile likes overnight. FOUR. That was more than he expected. He hadn’t even completed all of the quizzes yet to help him find good matches. His heart fluttered for a moment—hopeful, nervous, caught somewhere between What if I actually meet someone? and What if I hate everyone? A piece of him relieved that he hadn’t had to message anyone first just yet. 

He took a breath, tapped View Likes, and braced himself.

First profile: A gym selfie. Six-pack. Caption: “Looking for someone who can keep up 💪.”


Oczy squinted. Keep up with what? CrossFit? Emotional detachment? Was this guy looking for a hook up or a gym partner? Either way, this wasn’t Oczy’s type int he slightest. He passed.

Second profile: A woman with perfect contouring and three lines in her bio: “No drama. Must love dogs. Don’t waste my time.”


Yikes, Oczy thought. He loved dogs… but the tone felt like an borderline aggressive audition with the potential for too much drama. Swipe.

Third profile: A guy with neon hair and a profile that just read: “420-friendly. Let’s vibe.”


Vibe... into what? A black hole? Not his type. Swipe.

Fourth profile: Another beauty—model-grade photos, beach shots, intense smoldering stares.
But again, barely anything in the bio beyond “Adventurous. Spontaneous. Wild.”


Oczy blinked. No.. this one didn’t feel right either. Not even for anything unserious. Swipe.

He leaned back, letting the phone rest on his chest.


“They’re ... fine? I guess?” he muttered to no one. “Some were attractive, sure.. but Interesting? Not so much. And not really my type at all..”

It wasn't about perfection. He didn’t need a carbon copy of himself—he wasn’t even sure he wanted someone just like him. But it would’ve been nice to see something in a profile that sparked something in his chest. Something that made him feel… seen, excitement, or even just.. curiosity. 

Instead, most of it felt like noise. Curated. Performed. Like everyone was pretending to be cooler, hotter, more mysterious than they really were. Some of those photos even felt photo-shopped or looked like filters were applied. What was the point? If you met up in person you would see what they really looked like...right? He didn’t need or want anything like that. He didn’t blame them. Oczy understood the instinct. But still…

He sighed, picked up his tea, and stared at the golden steam curling above the cup. Maybe he was asking for too much. Or maybe—not enough of the right thing. Still, he wasn’t ready to give up. He wasn’t disheartened—just… waiting. Quietly hopeful. It hadn't even been 24 hours yet. Patience. 

He set the cup down, Glimmr still open on his phone, which was face up on the arm-rest. Just as he was about to pick up his phone again, a ping chimed. 

"New Match: Someone just liked you."

Oczy blinked. A fifth? He hesitated, thumb hovering over the notification.

Please be good. Please be good. Please be good... 

Slowly, he tapped it open.

The profile loaded.... 

Badeni | 26 | ____ , Poland
Seeking: Men. Casual Fun.

“Not looking for anything serious unless it gets serious. I work too much, I sleep too little, and I hate small talk. If you're scared of strong opinions or don’t care for Science— especially Astronomy in any capacity, move along. Sapiosexual. Don't ask what that means—Google is free.”

he photos staring back at Oczy nearly knocked the breath out of him. Badeni was pale and slender, with fine blond hair that fell into what he could only describe as a grown-out pageboy cut—something unmistakably ‘70s, and somehow, it worked. His style was sharp, sophisticated, bordering on luxurious. But what truly struck Oczy were his eyes—icy silver-blue, alert and unreadable.

His face was striking in an unconventional way—elegant, almost delicate, yet made rugged by a thin scar that crossed the bridge of his nose and another at the corner of his mouth. It gave him the look of someone carved out of mythology: half-angel, half-mortal. An ethereal beauty. 

The first photo was a black-and-white selfie that highlighted the clean geometry of his cheekbones. It wasn’t overly posed or polished, but it radiated presence—like you could sense his energy just from that frame. The second was taken on a mountaintop, standing beside a large telescope, the wind tugging at his coat. And the last one—Oczy actually laughed—was a candid shot of him holding a mug that read Space Is Cold and So Am I. 

Oczy laughed softly at that. 

Before he could overthink it, or question the familiarity of this man, a message popped up.

Chasing_The_Cosmos: You look like someone who takes notes just for fun.

Oczy stared at the message a second, blinking. Wow, that was some opening message-- but he liked it. It was funny, blunt, cute, genuine, and definitely memorable. A lasting impression he knew he wouldn't soon forget. He smiled, laughing to himself.

Celestial_Seeker: Very accurate! I actually color-coding them too..

Chasing_The_Cosmos: Of course you do. I’m sure you also have three different playlists for stargazing depending on cloud density.

Celestial_Seeker: Four, but still guilty. I’m starting to think you’re stalking me.

Chasing_The_Cosmos: Or just extremely observant and highly intelligent. You’re not like most people on here.

Celestial_Seeker: How so? Um..Is that good or bad?

Chasing_The_Cosmos: That depends. Are you emotionally constipated, or just shy? You don’t come across many 24 year old virgins on these kinds of apps. 

Oczy laughed out loud again. 

Celestial_Seeker: I’m just shy and a little anxious, I guess..  I’ve been completely focused on my studies and career— so I guess I just let those experiences slip by me.

Chasing_The_Cosmos: Poetic. Good answer. Would you be interested in talking more or meeting up. Potentially both.

Oczy hesitated for just a moment—stunned. Someone this captivating, this effortlessly intriguing, actually wanted to talk to him again... maybe even meet in person?

Celestial_Seeker: Absolutely! I’m free all next weekend! 

Chasing_The_Cosmos: Good. Meet me at Hotel Étoile at 8pm. Don’t ghost me or I’ll assume you fell into a black hole, Celestial_Seeker.

Celestial_Seeker:  I’d at least leave a note first. Oczy joked as he hummed to himself. 

He glanced at Badeni’s profile again. There was no fluff, no curated charm. Just sharp honesty and starlight sarcasm.

Chasing_The_Cosmos: Funny and cute. Perfect. I like that. I’ll make the reservation. 

Celestial_Seeker: Are you sure? I have no problem with doing it — Oczy was a gentleman after all. 

Chasing_The_Cosmos: It’s fine. I invited you, so it’s on me. Just don’t be late, or I’ll hold it against you for the rest of your God given life. 

Celestial_Seeker: Thats.. a long time..

Chasing_The_Cosmos: Yes. Potentially. Then don’t be late. 

Celestial_Seeker: I won’t be, I promise!

Chasing_The_Cosmos: Excellent. Until then feel free to message me on here from time to time. However, please understand I’m extremely busy and may not respond quickly. 

Celestial_Seeker: No worries, I understand!

Chasing_The_Cosmos: Good, thank you. And Oczy—rest assured, I’ll be patient with you. Since it’s your first time, consider it a privilege that I’m helping guide you through the experience. I suspect it will be... quite fun and fascinating for both of us. 

A small pause, then Badeni responded once again.

Chasing_The_Cosmos: Here is the confirmation for the hotel room. 

Oczy was taken aback. The hotel was upscale— and an interesting choice for a one night stand. Whoever this man was, he clearly had money.

Celestial_Seeker: You booked it for a full night?

Chasing_The_Cosmos: Of course I did. While it may not always be standard, I understand that you may need more time—and care—to feel at ease in the bedroom. Naturally, I accounted for that. This arrangement allows us the space to move at your pace, without urgency… only intention.

That message sent a thrilling shiver down Oczy’s spine—an unexpected but welcome spark. His cheeks flushed pink. Wow. 

He hadn’t quite expected him to be so thoughtful, but the gesture was deeply appreciated. Badeni's personality was strong, complex, unapologetic-- he never hid who he was. Oczy liked that, and Badeni, a lot already.. 

Celestial_Seeker: Thank you, Badeni— You’re really sweet and thoughtful.

Chasing_The_Cosmos: It was no trouble. My phone is ringing. Message me later.

Celestial_Seeker: Okay, I will! Talk later, Badeni! 

Oczy leaned back, phone resting in his hand, a gentle smile tugging at his lips. He felt... changed. Not giddy, nor overwhelmed—simply captivated, quietly intrigued. As if, perhaps, the universe wasn’t so silent after all—and had been listening all along.

Chapter Text

Oczy stood in front of his wardrobe, hesitating as he pulled the fluffy white sweater his mom had knitted over his head. It was soft and warm—comforting, really—but maybe not exactly what someone like Badeni would expect. He tugged at the hem nervously, feeling like he was wearing a cozy blanket instead of something remotely sexy.

He glanced down at his well-worn jeans and scuffed sneakers. Yep, definitely underdressed. He could almost picture Badeni stepping out in some sharp designer jacket, looking effortlessly put together while Oczy looked like he’d just rolled out of bed.

Great, he thought, this is exactly what I needed—awkward and mismatched.

His stomach fluttered with nerves, and he tried to remind himself it wasn’t a date, just a hookup. No pressure, no expectations… except maybe a little pressure.

Oczy gave himself an awkward nervous half-smile in the mirror, ran a hand through his messy hair, and muttered, “At least I’m comfortable.”

His deep, warm brown eyes glanced over at the moon clock ticking softly on his bedroom wall. If he headed out now, he’d be way too early. Badeni had said to be on time—but not too early. Funny how even the moon seemed to remind him to be patient. He had time.

Oczy grabbed his phone from the bedside table and unlocked it, fingers trembling just a little as he scrolled to the message thread with Badeni. He had been staring at the chat all afternoon, trying to come up with something smooth to say—something that didn’t make him sound like a nervous mess. Yet there was nothing.. So he settled for re-reading their past conversations for the millionth time.

Celestial_Seeker: Hi, I just had a question..

ChasingTheCosmos: What is it.

Celestial_Seeker: Would it be okay if I took you out to dinner before? 

ChasingTheCosmos: You don’t have to do that. 

Celestial_Seeker: I just thought it might be nice?

ChasingTheCosmos: That is not what this app is for.

Celestial_Seeker: Or are drinks better first? 

Celestial_Seeker: Oh.. I’m sorry

Celestial_Seeker: No, that’s fine! I just thought it would make this whole thing less awkward... and be more... respectful..

ChasingTheCosmos: I didn’t say no. 

Celestial_Seeker: Oh..

ChasingTheCosmos: It’s fine if you would like to have dinner or drinks first. However, it’s important that you not get the wrong idea about the intention of this app.

Celestial_Seeker: No, no! Nothing like that! I’m just new to this and thought it might be a nice way to break the ice...  It’s my treat, by the way!

ChasingTheCosmos: That’s fine. Let’s meet at 6pm in that case. Whatever restaurant you choose in the area works so long as there are vegan options for me. 

He couldn't believe a few days ago he had the courage to ask him that. 

Oczy’s choosing a restaurant had been an endeavor. Like everything, he had researched greatly— nervously— before making a reservation for two. He had landed on a small, cozy restaurant not far from the hotel. The reviews were solid—great ratings for atmosphere, service, and especially the food. Most importantly, the menu offered plenty of creative vegan dishes, from hearty lentil stews to vibrant roasted vegetable plates. It felt like a safe bet, a place where both he and Badeni could enjoy the meal without fuss.

Choosing the restaurant had been a small but significant step for Oczy. It wasn’t just about food; it was about showing a bit of himself, making the experience comfortable and thoughtful. Maybe, he thought, this could be the kind of place where awkward first meetings unfolded into something more relaxed—something real.

Over the past week, Oczy found himself looking forward to every message from Badeni more than he expected. Their conversations had flowed effortlessly, ranging from their shared fascination with the stars to more personal, quiet moments—dreams, fears, little jokes only they understood. From Badeni playfully teasing Oczy about being born on “Star Wars Day” to Oczy gently poking fun at Badeni’s blunt honesty, their banter was natural, full of warmth, and easy humor. Each text felt like a thread weaving them closer together, even though they hadn’t met in person yet.

Oczy noticed a warmth growing inside him—a quiet, thrilling feeling he hadn’t anticipated. It was more than curiosity or excitement; it felt like something deeper, something tender. Slowly but surely, he realized he was beginning to fall in love with Badeni—not just the idea of him, but the person behind the messages.

It hadn’t even been a full week yet of conversation. Yet It was as if time had folded in on itself, and they were two old souls reconnecting rather than strangers just beginning to meet. That feeling—of knowing someone so deeply, so quickly—was both astonishing and beautiful. 

And as the day of their meet-up approached, Oczy’s heart fluttered quickly with hope and nervousness, like a bird trapped in a cage, wondering if the spark they had online could shine just as brightly face-to-face. Then again, Oczy had to remind himself—this wasn’t a date. It was a hookup. Whatever he was feeling, Badeni probably didn’t feel the same. His bio had been clear: casual fun only, no dating, no romance.

Oczy’s foot tapped restlessly against the floor, the quiet rhythm betraying the nerves tightening, becoming nearly painful, in his chest. He couldn’t just sit there any longer, waiting—the pressure was building too steadily, like a pot about to boil over. He needed to move. To do something. Anything. Distraction was better than sitting here feeding this feeling in his stomach.

He wiped his palms on his pants before he rose slowly-- checking his pockets out of habit—keys, wallet, phone. All there. Perfect. He paused for a moment, took a shaky breath in an attempt to regulate it, then stepped toward the door, silently hoping that showing up as he was—awkward sweater and all—would be enough.

Don’t you get attached, Oczy Wojownik. 

Chapter Text

Oczy parked his red pickup truck a little farther down the block, the engine sighing to a halt. The spot directly outside the restaurant had been open—convenient, even—but it felt too exposed, too seen. Being early was already awkward enough; he didn’t want to look like he was desperate and waiting.

He sat there in the cab for a moment, fingers gripping the wheel. His stomach fluttered with a nervous kind of energy—like the anticipation before an exam you didn’t study for, except the test was your entire personality AND physical body. 

Why am I THIS early? 

He let out a quiet groan, slouching deeper into the seat, his head falling back against the headrest with a soft thud.

Thirty minutes early is okay, but tho shows up a whole hour early to a casual not-date pre-hook-up dinner?

The dashboard clock ticked on, unbothered. Oczy rubbed his palms against his jeans and glanced at himself in the rearview mirror. The fluffy white sweater, made of wool from the family’s farm, clung warmly to him—comforting, yes, but also… very obvious. He looked like someone who’d show up with baked goods and a nervous laugh, not like someone cool, casual, and ready for a hookup.

He sighed. What a mess. This is so awkward.

It wasn’t too late to back out. He could still turn around, drive home, send Badeni a message—saying something came up, apologizing, and promising to cover the hotel for wasting his time.

…As if he would ever forgive me for doing such a thing. I’d never hear from him again, probably…

The entire thought sat heavy in his chest, making him feel ill. 

God, I feel so stupid.

He ran his hands down his face, slow and heavy. That lingering disappointment clung to him like fog—thick, quiet, hard to shake. He hated feeling like this. Hated that the same excitement that had buzzed through his chest just hours ago had twisted into awkward self-doubt and fear.

He had wanted to meet Badeni. Genuinely. All week, he'd imagined how it might go—maybe they'd laugh, talk like they did over messages, maybe the chemistry would carry. But now, sitting here in the cab of his truck and a stomach full of nerves, it all felt… fragile. Like it could break before it ever began.

You’re overthinking everything, he told himself. It’s just a meeting. Just a hookup. You don’t owe him anything, and he doesn’t expect the moon and stars. You’re putting too much pressure on yourself, and onto him without him even knowing it. 

But still, he wished he could tuck all his nervous energy into a pocket, right next to his wallet, and forget it. That he could feel even half as effortlessly cool as Badeni always seemed in their chats. Instead, he felt like a sweater being unraveled… thread by thread.

Maybe there was something that could help. Something small to break the ice even further, ease the awkwardness causing his chest to ache with an intense pressure. A gift, he thought. Something thoughtful, but not too much.

Chocolate? No—too romantic. And he was vegan, right? What if he didn’t even like sweets? 

He tossed around a few more ideas, mentally bouncing between them like a pinball—too romantic, too casual, too weird, too last-minute. Nothing stuck. Time was ticking, and his head was starting to pound with the stress of it all. 

Then, as he glanced up the street, the soft golden haze of sunset spilling across the pavement, something caught his eye—a small florist tucked between a bakery and a bookshop. Its windows glowed gently in the fading light, almost like it had always been there, waiting. Quiet. Unassuming. As if it were calling to him—like the universe was gently nudging him, offering a quiet hint toward the right answer. 

His breath caught just a little. A flower, he thought. That’s simple. Sweet. Classic. Not over-the-top, not too serious, just… a gesture. A way to say I’m nervous but trying without saying anything at all. Besides, it wasn’t often that men received flowers—especially from other men. Maybe that made it a little extra special, in a quiet, meaningful sort of way. Maybe that was exactly what he needed.

~*~

The bell above the shop door chimed gently as he stepped inside, announcing his presence. The scent hit him first—sweet, earthy, pure, calming, green… alive. The kind of smell that made your lungs feel like they were in a forest. Like he could finally breathe again outside of the city. His favorite. An older woman looked up from behind the counter, her gray hair pulled into a loose braid that draped over her shoulder and glasses slipping down her nose.
“Can I help you, sweetheart?” she asked, the word carrying no hint of condescension—only a gentle, grandmotherly kindness that Oczy so missed. 

“Um,” Oczy said, shifting on his feet, “I was wondering if I could get… just one flower. Like, a nice one. Not too much.”
She smiled warmly. “You want to impress someone?”

His ears betrayed him— immediately turning red. “Maybe… kind of… I guess.. um.. yeah..”

It didn’t take him long to decide. He picked up a single white rose with the help of the lovely older woman. It was simple, elegant, and quietly beautiful. White roses, he thought, seemed and felt right. They weren’t loud or flashy like red ones, which felt too intense. No, white felt… pure. Like a clean slate. A fresh start. Like maybe this whole thing could be something new, something gentle. Besides, they really felt like they suited Badeni in a way, much like the white lilies that bloomed throughout the shop. 

He worried Badeni might find it silly though. Would he wonder, Why is this guy bringing me a flower? Still, the thought gave Oczy a small boost of courage—like maybe, just maybe, he was doing something right or meaningful— making more of an effort than his shy, awkward exterior made him feel internally. 

Before he could change his mind, Oczy asked the florist if she had a yellow ribbon to tie around the stem. She smiled and said she did. Yellow was Badeni’s favorite color— followed by blue—he’d mentioned it once, like a small, passing detail during one of their long conversations. Oczy had tucked that memory away like a cherished secret—a small, seemingly insignificant detail about Badeni that he knew he would carry with him forever.

As the kind florist wrapped the rose carefully in soft cream tissue, she looked up at him and said, gently, “You’ll be fine. You’ve got good energy.”

Oczy smiled—awkwardly, shyly—but it helped.

~*~

Walking back toward the restaurant— the rose felt both ridiculous and sincere in his hand. He just… wanted to give Badeni something small. A gesture that said: I’ve been listening and thank you for tonight.

He reached the restaurant a few minutes later, still absurdly early, and found a bench nearby tucked just off the sidewalk. He sat down, placing the flower across his lap like it was something fragile. People passed by without a second glance, but Oczy felt as if a spotlight was fixed squarely on him—as if the world had paused for a Broadway performance starring only him.

He kept checking his phone, not to message anyone—just to keep his hands busy.

What if this is all weird? he wondered, heart pounding in his head violently. Anxious thoughts threatening to consume him whole.  What if he laughs? Scoffs? Or thinks it’s too much? Or worse, what if it’s too little? The doubt gnawed at him. What if I’m terrible at this? What if I can’t make him happy—or please him? What if he doesn’t have the patience I might need? And the scariest thought of all: What if he wants nothing to do with me ever again?

Then again, Badeni had never made him feel foolish, even when he had said clumsy things or asked hesitant questions about how all of this worked. If anything, Badeni had been surprisingly kind—extremely blunt, yes, but patient. And present.

So Oczy waited—thirty minutes early, his sweater a little too fluffy, hair a little too wavy, heart beating in strange, hopeful rhythms. In moments like these, he couldn’t help but recognize the stirring inside him once more—that he was falling, slowly and quietly, into something far deeper than he had ever expected. And maybe, just maybe, that feeling was worth every flutter of nervousness.

For someone as inexperienced as Oczy, meeting someone for the first time from a “hookup app”, these unexpected romantic feelings caught him completely off guard. But somehow, despite his nerves, and the quickness of these feelings surfacing—- it didn’t feel wrong—in fact, they felt surprisingly right and oddly comforting, like something he'd been missing. As thought the universe had had a hand in planning this all along. Oczy could only hope Badeni felt it too. 

As time grew closer Oczy stood up, waiting by the door. He held the single white rose its stem wrapped delicately in a cream paper and yellow ribbon, he found himself drifting deeper into reflection. He didn’t know what the night would bring, but this—this small, quiet token—felt sincere, genuine, and honest. A vulnerable and raw expression of something he couldn’t quite say out loud: I’m here. I’m trying. 

And maybe, just maybe, hopefully, that would be enough.