Chapter 1: Dear Mr. Sarutobi
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Dear Mr. Sarutobi,
I'm sorry to inform you but there is no Uzumaki Naruto, Haruno Sakura, Uchiha Sasuke, Hyuuga Hinata, Aburame Shino and Rock Lee here.
While my children, Tomioka Naru, Tomioka Sakura, Tomioka Sasuke, Tomioka Hina, Tomioka Shin and Tomioka Lee have similar first names(the kanji changes in them or they share one or another kanji), they aren't those people.
So I would be thankful if you didn't send any of your shinobi after them since they can be a bit paranoid sometimes and may attacks your shinobis if they approach us.
Thanks for your attention,
Tomioka Giyuu, Water Hashira, Member of Demon Slayer Corps, Adoptive Father to Tomioka Naru, Tomioka Sakura, Tomioka Sasuke, Tomioka Hina, Tomioka Shin & Tomioka Lee and Sibling Figure to Kamado Tanjiro, Kamado Nezuko, Shinazugawa Genya, Hashibira Inosuke, Agatsuma Zenitsu, Tokito Muichiro & Kanzaki Aoi.
Chapter 2: Sarutobi Hiruzen & Bastards
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Sarutobi Hiruzen & Bastards,
Look, me and wives have mostly left the shinobi world due to my birth family but we still know about what is going on with all the villages and all that so you can take your horse from the rain as we won't let you force Giyuu to marry some old man(because we know that Shimura Danzo is an old man) just because you want the clan heirs and the kitsune kid to be part of your war.
They are Giyuu's children and if it hadn't been for Giyuu finding them we believe those kids would be too traumatized to even know what to do with themselves as we known you wouldn't really care about their mental health and comfort
So, either leave our husband and his children alone or we will make sure you meet true demons which none of you will enjoy.
This is our last warning,
Uzui Tengen, Sound Hashira, Member of Demon Slayer Corps, Husband to Uzui Suma, Uzui Makio, Uzui Hinatsuru & Tomioka Giyuu, Best Friend of Rengoku Kyoujuro and Future Father of Tomioka Naru, Tomioka Sakura, Tomioka Sasuke, Tomioka Hina, Tomioka Shin & Tomioka Lee