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I'm right here, I'm not hiding

Summary:

Raziel withdrew his blessing. The Shadowhunters had fallen completely, reduced to mediocrity. But the angel still held hope, and in one final move, he granted his blessing to Alexander Lightwood. This blessing brought with it many new powers, but it was only a matter of time before an old enemy came knocking.

Notes:

Jace is 25, Izzy is 24, Alec is 22 years old.

Chapter 1: preface

Chapter Text

23 years ago, Valentine rose to power.
His darkness and desires were so intense that he dragged everyone and everything into chaos. The Nephilim were forced to bow to him, though none were pleased. The Downworlders were filled with rage, and they were right to be. Valentine had gathered all the Mortal Instruments, which meant he wanted to create more Shadowhunters—and he did. Things escalated quickly. The most powerful families supported Valentine. But everything has a limit.

Leading the resistance was the powerful warlock Magnus Bane; Lorenzo Rey, Catarina Loss, Ragnor Fell, Raphael Santiago, Luke Garroway, Meliorn, and many others joined the war.

Valentine, of course, did not stay idle. But he failed to account for one thing: the angels.

Raziel was deeply disappointed by what had happened, and after consulting with God, he withdrew his blessing from all hunters who carried angel blood. It happened so suddenly that Valentine was left bewildered. As a result, they could no longer fight against the Downworlders. Despite it all, Raziel remained merciful. He encouraged the now-blessingless hunters to live normal lives.

He asked them to redeem themselves for the evils they had committed. Many agreed. Truly, they did. Though ashamed for being brainwashed by someone as wicked as Valentine, over time, they made peace with the other races. They were now ordinary. Just people. They had to earn their lives from scratch.

After everything, Valentine fled.
The Shadow World came under the rule of a fourfold alliance—warlocks, werewolves, vampires, and the Seelies. Though Valentine was never found, it didn’t matter. Everyone was finally at peace.

The Nephilim race ceased to exist.
Those who once carried angel blood began living like regular humans. Some collaborated with Downworlders; others started their own businesses. Everything was fine. There were no more problems.

Of course, there were always small annoyances—like how the Lightwoods were still as arrogant as ever.

Magnus Bane especially couldn’t understand it.
This family had willingly stood beside Valentine. They should have been wiped out. Yet, like everyone else, they were given a second chance. Robert and Maryse built a powerful family company. Their eldest, Jace Lightwood, was arrogant and flirtatious. He skipped school entirely and dove into the family business. Isabelle Lightwood was much the same—partying, showing up at the company occasionally, and living her life. The youngest, Max Lightwood, was still oblivious to everything… for now.

And then, there was Alexsander Gideon Lightwood.
The third child. He used to be the youngest before Max. And the only one in the family who was unloved.

There were a few reasons for that, but none of them justified the way he was treated.

Alexsander was born different. He was always calm and never cried. Yet, he was constantly in motion—energetic beyond measure. Focus was difficult for him. When his parents realized something was off, they took him to a doctor. He was diagnosed with ADHD, which, to them, was already a flaw. He also barely spoke, even at home—leading to a second diagnosis: selective mutism. Naturally, Maryse and Robert lost their minds. All their children had to be successful and useful in rebuilding their legacy. But Alexsander didn’t fit.

Things changed quickly.
He was ostracized at home.
Any small mistake resulted in punishment.
His siblings mocked him.
And yet, Alexsander was always the one who covered for his brother and sister’s mistakes.

The strangest part of his painful life? He could see demons roaming the streets and was aware of the Downworlders. But no, Alexsander didn’t have the Sight.

Raziel had gifted him with his blessing.

At first, Alexsander didn’t understand what was happening.
But in a disused room in the house, he found books and an obelisk.
He started to understand.
He learned everything about the Shadow World.
He studied runes.
After struggling through school, he found a job and saved money.
At 18, he ran away from home.

His parents didn’t think he was worth sending to college.

Alexsander was the last existing Nephilim.
Despite his ADHD, he mastered various combat styles, carved runes into his body and hid them. After reading the legends of Valentine, he knew the man would return one day. Until then, he had to remain hidden—just as it should be. He had no other choice but to act like a regular college student.

Chapter Text

---

Alec Lightwood had always known he was different.
Even though he was very young, he was so energetic that his family took him to a doctor. After some tests, they learned he had ADHD. His mother and father were furious, and they began to pressure him constantly. The pressure was so intense that Alec eventually stopped speaking. Speaking only in the environments where he felt completely safe became the only thing he could manage.

And that wasn’t the only thing—when he was little, he started seeing strange creatures and people. He was too young to understand what they were, but over time, with the help of some books he found in a hidden room in the house, he began to figure it out.

Alec became aware of the existence of the Shadow World.
And not just that—Raziel started speaking to him. Raziel told him about what had happened in the past and said there was new hope for the Nephilim. He had also given Alec two additional powers: the ability to control water and air. From that day on, Alec began training, guided by Raziel and the books he read. He unearthed weapons from the tombs of ancient Shadowhunters—angel blades, daggers, steles, and his greatest fascination: bows and arrows.

Over time, Alec slowly began to understand the great responsibility on his shoulders. One day, Valentine might return, and by then, he needed to be ready.

 

---

As Alec adjusted his art portfolio and walked down the hallway, he took a deep breath.
Being in the final year of university was both comforting and nerve-wracking. On the bright side, he had more time to dedicate to his library job and studies. And his paintings were good. Clary had told him he was quite talented. So had Lydia and Simon—that’s why he trusted them.

> “Alec, I was just looking for you.”

 

Hearing his name, Alec stopped and looked at the woman approaching him. She was one of the professors in his department, someone he actually liked—she was understanding enough.

> “We have three important guests who need to go to the rector’s office. Can you escort them?”

 

Alec immediately tensed up. He hardly ever spoke to people—especially not strangers.

> “Don’t worry, I already explained a little about your situation to them. They’re only expecting you to accompany them, that’s all.”

 

Alec nodded silently and began walking to greet the people he would only have to deal with for a few minutes.

 

---

Magnus Bane, along with his friends Catarina Loss and Ragnor Fell, had arrived at one of New York’s finest universities. Magnus wanted to donate to the fine arts department, and of course, he brought his friends along.
He was the High Warlock, yes—but also a fabulous fashion designer.

> “You never get tired of dragging us everywhere, do you?”

 

Ragnor grumbled as Magnus grinned at him. Wherever he went, his friends would follow. That was simply how it was.

> “Oh come on, my little cabbage. Don’t be so grumpy. Let’s see when this ‘Alec’ boy is going to show up.”

 

The woman who had welcomed them had mentioned Alec didn’t speak, and when he did, it was only in rare, short words. Magnus was curious, yes—but he also wasn’t going to push the kid.

Just then, his eyes caught a figure approaching, and his brows furrowed.

> “Why is someone who looks like Maryse Lightwood walking toward us?”

 

Catarina had voiced exactly what he was thinking. But as the boy approached them, she muttered a quiet curse.

> “The one escorting us is a Lightwood kid. Great.”

 

All three of them were uneasy—Lightwoods had caused a lot of problems in the past. Their children had been just as spoiled.
But Magnus couldn’t recall ever seeing this Alec kid on any screen or news.

> “I guess you’re the one escorting us?”

 

Magnus asked, unable to keep the chill out of his voice. The blue-eyed boy looked at him and simply nodded, then gestured forward and began walking.

> “So, Alec—short for Alexander?”

 

Again, just a nod.
Magnus looked at the boy’s back. He was tall but thin, an art portfolio slung over his shoulder. When Magnus looked closer, he noticed a few band-aids on the boy’s fingers and smudges of paint.

When his eyes drifted to his friends, he saw them also watching the boy with guarded expressions. Understandable, given the past.

When Alexander finally led them to the rector’s office, he gave a short nod in farewell and quickly walked away.

Seeing a Lightwood child this quiet—and in a university setting—was strange. Everyone knew that even in the mundane world, the Lightwoods were notorious workaholics.

 

---

Chapter Text

"By the Angel, he was so handsome!"

Alec let out a sigh as he rested his head on his pillow. At twenty-three, a gay Nephilim, he had quite literally fallen for Magnus Bane. Of course, he knew who he was—the High Warlock Magnus Bane... handsome, powerful, and magnificent. Alec had barely managed to keep his cool when he saw him. The moment he completed his assigned task, he left immediately. He was aware that Magnus and his friends had figured out what family he came from—and that they didn’t like him. Not that he could blame them. His parents were awful people.

"I guess this is the first time you’ve liked someone, Alec."

When Raziel’s voice echoed in his head, Alec turned bright red. Damn it! Ever since he had started seeing demons as a child, Raziel had been with him. The angel had taught him everything about runes and the Shadow World. He was a good guide and had been with him through everything.

"He just caught my attention, okay?"

Trying to defend himself, Alec could already hear Raziel’s amused chuckle. Of course he didn’t believe him. Honestly, Alec didn’t even believe himself.

"It’s alright, Alec. Magnus Bane catches everyone’s attention. And you’re young. It’s not wrong to be drawn to someone for the first time."

Alec knew that. When he had first realized he was gay, he’d been terrified. Raziel had spoken to him for hours until Alec accepted that it was perfectly normal. His parents, on the other hand, had not reacted well. Then again, he had already run away from home by the time they found out.

"I know... I just don’t have time to like anyone. I need to keep improving myself..."

He sighed and lay on his back, staring at the ceiling. He was exhausted. His bones ached, and his fingers were covered in bandages, but Alec wasn’t going to give up. If he did, the Shadow World could plunge into chaos.

"I know, Alec. You've been training for years, and honestly, you're on par with the best Shadowhunters I’ve ever seen—maybe even better."

Raziel always told the truth, even when it hurt. That’s how Alec knew he meant it. It was almost time to reveal himself. He needed to gather allies he could trust—before Valentine found out a Nephilim still existed.

Well, little did Alec know, he was already too late. Because at that very same hour, a message was making its way to the leaders of the Downworlders—and once it reached them, starting with Magnus Bane, they would all begin searching for him.

 

---

The meeting was proceeding as usual.
Magnus sipped from his glass while listening to the others, then snapped his fingers, conjuring a glass filled with blood for his son—Raphael. When the vampire gave him a grateful look, Magnus merely smiled.

"Seems like everything’s in order."

When the High Warlock glanced around the table, no one raised any concerns. The four races were managing things well, and although occasional problems arose, they were handled swiftly.

"All good. Just the usual scuffles here and there."

Luke spoke while looking directly at Raphael, who blatantly ignored him. Wolves and vampires had never truly gotten along anyway.

"Well, shall we head out then?"

Magnus looked at Catarina, Ragnor, and Jem sitting nearby. Jem, one of his closest friends—even if he was a former Nephilim—had always stood by Magnus.

Just as they all nodded, a fire message appeared in front of Magnus. Everyone froze. Receiving a fire message wasn’t unusual, especially since this meeting was in a more public location.

Magnus leaned forward to read it—and within seconds, his cat eyes shimmered into view.

"Magnus?"

Catarina’s voice was full of concern. Magnus took a deep breath, then looked at each person around the table one by one.

"It’s from Valentine."

The moment he said that, everyone straightened in their seats. Their brows furrowed, trying to make sense of what that meant. So Magnus continued:

"He’s demanding we hand over the Nephilim we’ve been hiding."

With those words, the room exploded. Everyone was speaking at once, eyes darting around. They all protested that Nephilim no longer existed—which, technically, was true. They hadn’t existed for a long time. The blessings had been withdrawn.

"So it’s finally happening."

Jem’s voice made everyone fall silent. Magnus turned to him, confused by his words. But when his friend’s far-off gaze met his own, Magnus sensed the truth was about to come out.

"When Raziel withdrew his blessings, he spoke to me," Jem said quietly. "I was the youngest Silent Brother then, and I was expected to live longer in a mortal life. And I did. Raziel told me one day the Nephilim would return. There would be one at first—someone who would help the Downworlders bring down Valentine. And then that Nephilim’s chosen few would be blessed. I didn’t expect it to happen this soon. I don’t know how Valentine found out, but that Nephilim is in danger—probably in their twenties, and likely completely unaware of any of this."

Everyone sat in stunned silence. The revelation was shocking. There had been no Nephilim for years. Idris was gone. Yes, demons still attacked, but the Downworlders had managed on their own.

"Then let’s find and kill him," Raphael said coldly. "The Nephilim were always our enemies. They massacred us. If Valentine finds him, it’ll be worse. He must die."

Some voices agreed with him, but Jem interrupted again—and Magnus listened closely.

"But remember, Raphael, Raziel saw the injustice and took everything back from his own children. That wasn’t easy. Now he’s making another move, probably trying to get it right this time. And you’re suggesting we kill a young, innocent person who doesn’t even know what’s going on?"

Jem made good points. Magnus sighed, placing his hands on the table. Everyone turned toward him again.

"Valentine is becoming a threat once more. And now there’s a missing Nephilim. Like Jem said, they’re probably completely unaware. Yes, Nephilim caused us pain in the past, but Valentine was the true cause of that. Let’s find this one. And no harm will come to them. Everyone deserves a chance."

Magnus always had the final word, and everyone else followed him—and that’s exactly what happened.
He didn’t know what the coming days would bring, but one thing was certain:
They had to find the Nephilim before Valentine did.