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It all started when they took my wings.
I fell from the sky, from the grace of my duty, my past. My halo shattered, my back bloodied to no end.
The blood wouldn’t stop. It couldn’t.
A human. One with flowers, gentle hands, kind eyes. Dark, raven hair, but in the light, it was a deep purple. Eyes greener than the grass where my dark blood spilled. They were… beautiful. They visited me often, while the others in their village shunned me. The earliest memory of them, goes like this…
”Hellion! I’m back today!” Soft footsteps pad into the cave where I lay. Axe. The small mortal. What did they want today?
”I brought you bread! I thought that… uhm… maybe you’d want some, because I haven’t really seen you eat much. Do you eat human food? I haven’t seen a reaper eat human food before… ah, right, never mind, here!” They hold up the bread. Odd. Do they think I’m an idiot or something? Do they really think they can trick a god into eating their poison? Hm?
I take the bread with one clawed hand, sniffing it, before pulling it apart. Their gaze, expectant, hesitant, and excited all at once, traces each and every calculated movement, each millisecond… it was almost… endearing. In a way. When I detect no poison, I take a bite. I have to stifle a gasp. It was… good… too good. For me. I was undeserving. But I ate it anyways, if only to spare the human’s pitiful feelings for me.
“Sooooo…” They start, wringing their fingers together anxiously. When I raise an eyebrow, they stammer. “Ah! Uhm! How was it? Was it tasty? Did- did you like it?” I don’t give them a response. Actually, it’s not that I didn’t want to. It’s that this… bread… was it? Yes, bread, it was so… good. It tasted good. Warm. Soft. Like the flesh and soul of this pathetic mortal would-
No.
I refuse to hurt this one. I will fight. To keep them. For them to be mine. For them to stay. For them to love me. They have to love me. I want them to love me and nobody else. Mine, they’re mine and only mine. Axe pats my arm. I flinch. “Don’t do that…” I snarl, my tail whipping back and forth. They stare up at me in awe.
“You’re super pretty, you know?”
“I… wh-what?”
”I’m not sure why people call you an ugly beast. I don’t think you’d be able to lure people to death if you were ugly… but you’re like… the prettiest creature I have ever seen… your tail is long and slender… your horns are like ebony… your… teeth… uhm…” They flush. “Sharp. And you’re so tall… and your legs are long and agile and… I just… I think… you should love yourself more, Hellion. And… even if you aren’t a proper god anymore, I’ll always be a devout follower, you know?”
”…then you are a fool. Like all humans.” I bristle. Foolish human.
”Maybe, but if it means I can stay with you, I don’t think I care…” They pad closer, curling up against my side. My fingers twitch. I could crush them easily… I could eat them… their blood… become a part of me… never leave… don’t leave me… don’t leave…
NO.
Do not start this again. They have a life. And they’re… sleeping already? Boring. But, I suppose I can stand it for now. I pull them to rest more easily on my stomach, and play with their shoulder-length hair. “…so foolish… and yet… I can’t help but be drawn to you…”
But I didn’t know. I didn’t know that we only had one more year. How could I? When they brought me flower crowns? When they caressed my face so gently? When they held me in a way I hadn’t been held since I was but a babe? I let my guard down. And of course, it chose that one moment of tenderness that I felt, when they finally said that they loved me.
Blood. The scent of iron and fire fills the air. A monster. Not me. But them. And yet not them. Blood leaked out of the hole in their chest. Blood. Viscera. Guts were strewn about the field, intestines hanging by a thread as the tentacle of shadow rips Axe apart. My face feels wet. Am I crying? Maybe. I can’t tell over the visceral screams. But where are they..? Oh. I’m screaming.
Ribs snap. More organs pool out, and I think I can make out a kidney. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. I knew it wouldn’t last. Axe calls out desperately to me in the throes of death, maybe it was a warning, maybe it was a prayer, maybe it was goodbye. All I know is that when I saw them get ripped in half, I launched at the monster and tore it to shreds. But I couldn’t kill all of it. The Abyss can’t die. And…
Axe.
I walk over to their body. Where they were still trying to speak to me, even with their legs halfway across the clearing.
”…I… Hellion… I’m… sc-scared…” Blood sputters out of their mouth. I hold them close. “…I know.”
”I don’t w…wanna die…”
”I know.”
”I… don’t… wanna… leave you…”
”I’m sorry.”
”Not… your… fault…”
”I… love you.”
”Me… too. B…bye…”
”…” My throat hurt. How long had it been since their body went cold? I don’t remember. I can’t remember their face as well. It’s been several millennia. I… am currently in charge of Rutis. And some pesky child thinks she can stop me. Foolish. But now… that thing stole my precious Axe’s body… and turned it into that. A pathetic excuse for Axe. Murderous to a fault, possessive, and most importantly… they taunt me. With their body. The body that they stole.
”Axe was pathetic anyways. They would have died before you.”
”Shut up.”
”Ohhhh, but you know it’s true, Helli! You know, and you know, and you can’t change it. Really, you should be glad that I’ve immortalized your mistakes!” It laughs, twirling around my kitchen. Its tail undulates behind it. Disgusting. It smelled like rot and death and hate and dark.
”You’re not welcome here.”
”You know the funniest part? It’s that, deep, deep, deep down? You know it’s your fault that they died! You weren’t good enough. Strong enough. You will never be enough! A horrible monster like you doesn’t deserve to-“
”SHUT UP.” I slam it into the wall, my claws around its neck. “I despise you. You are not Axe. You will never be Axe.” My grip tightens, but loosens once more.
”You can’t bear to hurt you beloved’s body, now can you? Not if there’s a chance I let their soul live! Awww, poor, pathetic Hellion! You’re always gonna be alone!”
”…” I let it go. “Leave. You’re not worth my time.”
It grins at me. “You’ll come crawling back to me, begging for me to give them back. You know it. I know it. It’s only a matter of time~”
When it finally leaves? I crumple. More tears. Maybe it really was my fault. The clearing where we played was still burnt. And my heart? That was burnt too.