Archive of Our Own ^beta

Andrew was already cursing the moment he agreed to Nikki’s pleading to go to some party. Okay, not just some party — the one Allison was throwing for Renee’s birthday. And he could be sleeping peacefully right now, or watching a documentary or a show...

“Hi.”

His thoughts were cut off by a voice he recognized a second later. And even before he turned around, he already knew who he’d see.

And he was right: near the door leading to the backyard — where Andrew had quietly settled on the porch in solitude — Neil stood awkwardly frozen, clearly unsure what to do with himself.

He was wearing worn-out bluish jeans and a hoodie that looked older than him and was definitely too big.

Andrew didn’t reply, just gave him a look and turned back.

“I got the impression you’re not a fan of parties.”

It wasn’t a question, so Andrew stayed silent, glancing at Josten from the corner of his eye. Neil had leaned against the wall beside him and just sighed heavily at the silence.

Pissing people off like this was kind of fun.

“I don’t like them,” Minyard was curious how long his acquaintance’s patience would last. Andrew looked at him, expectant. “I had two reasons to come here.”

Neil threw up his hands, as if he wasn't even surprised by such a reply.

“You used to seem more talkative.”

“Really?”

Looks like Neil had caught on to his little game. He theatrically pushed off the wall and leaned in a little to get into Andrew’s line of sight, but still stayed at a safe distance.

“See you around.”

And just walked back into the house.

Andrew blinked, a bit thrown off, and followed his figure with his eyes for several more steps, until Neil disappeared around the corner.

By the time the last rays of the sunset had vanished behind the horizon, the civilized part of the party was over, replaced by collective drinking — something Andrew had no interest in participating in.

So he was still sitting out back, now with a half-empty bottle of whiskey, which was the reason he’d gone inside the house for the second time — the first being when he’d wished Renee a happy birthday.

Fidgeting with a nearly finished pack of cigarettes between his fingers, Andrew considered just quietly leaving and letting Nikki figure out what to do with her drunk body on her own — it was about a thirty-minute walk home, and he’d assumed he’d be drinking, so he hadn’t brought the car. Plus, he doubted he’d have found a place to park nearby anyway.

But then the door beside him swung open, and Neil stepped out. He immediately closed it behind him and dropped down next to Andrew — no guessing how much alcohol he’d had: not enough to mess with his thoughts, but just enough to throw off his coordination a little.

“So you came back,” Andrew raised a brow, implying a question. And if Josten dared pretend it wasn’t a question...

“You doubted it?” Neil winked and tugged one side of his lips up in a charming hint of a smile, showing off an adorable dimple on his cheek, already flushed from the drinks earlier.

Andrew imagined if Neil would look the same kissed.

He shut the thought down instantly, thankful he hadn’t cut his hair — at least the tips of his ears, now burning, weren’t visible.

“I’ll have a smoke,” Andrew didn’t even know why he said that, since he had already pulled out the last cigarette from the pack and was now patting his pockets for a lighter.

Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Neil reach out and hand him his. Andrew took it gratefully, lit up, then gave it back.

“I smoke too.” Minyard had already figured that out but nodded anyway.

He didn’t miss how Neil was staring at the cigarette between his lips as he took a drag — he was definitely looking at the cigarette, because surely he wouldn’t be staring at his lips — but said nothing.

“Want?” Andrew asked, offering the cigarette slightly to the side, to which Neil nodded.

Carefully taking it from Andrew’s fingers, Neil took a deep drag, exhaling smoke into the night air, dimly lit by the glow from the house. The noise inside was now just a distant hum. Neil furrowed his brows slightly — analyzing the taste.

And for the second time, Andrew caught himself staring — and had no intention of stopping this time.

Neil passed the cigarette back, and when Andrew took a drag, Neil was definitely staring at his lips.

Minyard exhaled, for the first time that evening meeting the other’s eyes, which in this light looked downright magical and unearthly.

“Wanna try something?”

Neil blinked slowly.

“What?”

Andrew pushed down the awkwardness from what he was about to suggest — and from the possible reaction. He flicked off the ash.

“Smoke. Lips to lips.” He was definitely not going to say anything like "smoke kiss." Absolutely not.

“Oh.” Neil’s eyes widened, but there was no negative reaction. “I thought that was just something from my fantasies or movies. People actually do that?”

“Yeah, they do.” Andrew definitely wasn’t going to comment on the fantasy part.

Neil was looking at him, waiting, hypnotizing him with those blue eyes that looked like glaciers at dusk. But it seemed he finally realized that nothing would happen without his say-so.

“Yeah. I want to.”

Andrew took a slow drag, leaned in just as slowly toward Neil — who merely parted his lips in anticipation. Andrew exhaled the smoke into them, then pulled back.

“Well?”

He tried not to sound too curious.

“Interesting.”

Andrew took another drag and leaned in again. This time Neil leaned toward him too, so their lips nearly touched.

When they pulled away, Andrew glanced at the cigarette — now only a filter left — then at the empty pack. Of course he had been too lazy to go buy a new one today.

Neil followed his gaze and a second later pulled out his own.

“Chapman?” Okay, Andrew had expected Josten to smoke some neutral, cheap brand that fit his whole aesthetic — but cherry-flavored? “Where’d a broke guy like you get fancy cigarettes?”

“They’re not expensive for me.” Andrew deliberately looked him over — his outfit only slightly better than that of a homeless person. Neil chuckled almost silently.

“I don’t smoke much. A pack lasts me about three months. For an average smoker, this would be about two a month, which means about six dollars, and for the same three months, eighteen dollars. Which is cheaper: ten, or eighteen?”

Andrew barely held himself back from pointing out that most smokers go through more than two packs a month. But even so, the logic sort of checked out, and he had no interest in arguing over such a dumb question.

“Trying for a math degree, are you?”

“You saw through me!” Neil gasped theatrically, placing a hand on his heart.

Under Andrew’s skeptical look, Neil lit up and exhaled smoke into Andrew’s lips. Their lips barely brushed due to Neil’s slightly clumsy movements — and though it left a warm imprint inside Minyard, he showed no reaction on the outside.

Andrew inhaled the smoke, noting it tasted far better than his usual crappy cheap cigarettes from the store that never asked for ID.

Next time, Neil moved more slowly, letting Andrew really taste it — and this time Andrew leaned in closer too, something Neil clearly didn’t mind.

When they pulled away again, they somehow — as if by magic — met each other’s gaze. But not for long. Neil’s eyes almost immediately dropped to Andrew’s lips. Andrew’s breath hitched.

“Can I?”

Andrew swallowed hard, still tasting the sweetness — slightly artificial — in his mouth and on his lips. He didn’t trust his luck. And Neil was still watching.

“Yes.”

The next second Neil leaned in, one last glance into Andrew’s eyes searching for hesitation — and finding none. But before Neil could close the distance, Andrew beat him to it and kissed him first.

Neil’s lips tasted sweet from the cigarettes and bitter from the alcohol — Andrew probably tasted just the same.

He noticed Neil flinch, and then his hands tensed, clearly remembering boundaries and trying not to cross them. Andrew took one of his hands and guided it to his own hair. And when Neil finally touched him — first brushing along his neck, then running his fingers through his hair — Andrew couldn’t suppress a quiet breath of pleasure at the longed-for touch. Then he deepened the kiss, his own hands trailing first along Neil’s arms, then his shoulders, finally settling at his waist — gripping tightly enough to pull a sharp breath from Neil this time.

They pulled back, gasping for air, but it was clear — neither of them was done. Without a word, they came together again. Neil began gently massaging Andrew’s head, while Andrew slipped his fingers under Neil’s hoodie and started tracing the lines of his abs. Neil sighed again, and Andrew took the chance to deepen the kiss further, their tongues intertwining. Neil moaned.

Andrew abruptly pulled away from him, trying to calm his breathing, realising that if this continued, he would not be able to contain his excitement.

Neil looked at him, confused.

“Not here.” Andrew was still breathless, barely able to say more. Neil nodded.

When Andrew finally looked at Neil again, it hit him like a wave. Just from kissing, he looked completely flushed — adorably ruined and far more intoxicated than the alcohol alone could explain.

If that’s what he looked like from just a few kisses, then what would he—

Andrew cut off the thought sharply, reaching for the bottle he’d earlier left closed on the grass beside him and took two deep gulps, burning bitterness spreading through him again.

Behind them, the sounds of music and drunk conversation still drifted in a distant, blurry mix.