Chapter Text
Eddie rubs the towel in his hair, drying his hair. It has gotten longer in the last two years. Not too long, can't with him being a firefighter.
He sets the towel on his bed, making his way out to the kitchen, hoping to find Buck there. He'll use the excuse of getting some water before he falls asleep.
The shower he had was nice and relaxing. The water pressure was just right. And the space is nice. It may look tight from a glance but it's doesn't feel claustrophobic. It's nice.
He walks out, only pausing for a second when he sees that it's dark. There is no light, especially not from the kitchen. But he doesn't hear anymore noises. He walks more towards the dining room, only to stop in front of the back door. The curtains pulled back, and one small light is turned on. The glass sliding door is open half way. The screen curtain blowing with the sound of the waves.
In the distance he can see two figures. Both sitting on the sand. They are very close to the shore. One figure he clocks in instantly as Buck. The other is Faustina. He's too far away to hear or see much but he can see Faustina punch Buck in the arm. And he catches Buck pulling his head back in laughter. Curious Eddie walks out.
He doesn't get that far out before Buck and Faustina are turning and looking at him. At the same time they stand up. Eddie continues to them.
"I'm going to get ready for bed." Is what Buck tells them, but he faces Faustina.
"I'll see you tomorrow cousin." She waves him off. They both watch him go into the house. Eddie stands there watching. Unsure what to do. He takes a look at Faustina, wondering if he should walk her home, he's not an asshole even if he doesn't care for her. At the same time he doesn't think she would appreciate him being with her. "How frustrating." Is all he hears before a fist comes flying to him.
It hits him square in the chest. He blinks because... well... it didn't hurt. It was like having a pillow thrown at him. Which he would expect, her arms are like that of a noodle. She hits him again. And again. She looks like a child giving him a tantrum. Because she is. She's only sixteen. There's so much a head of her.
"It's frustrating." She sniffs. Eddie freezes. Because what does he do. He hardly knows her. And Buck cares for her. He doesn't want Buck to think he made her cry. Eddie gets a flashback of the grocery store.
"What is frustrating?" Eddie wonders not moving from her fist pounding his chest.
"You! Buck's so called family. You are all nice so how can you do that to Buck? Leave Buck too..." She bites her lip, looking away as she finally pulls back. Using both hands to wipe her tears away.
"We know we fucked up. It's why we don't want to let him go." Eddie says watching her. Still not sure she wants Eddie close or to comfort her.
"What's most frustrating is..." she lets out a sob, "if you guys didn't push him away Buck never would have saved me." She stares right at Eddie. Grieve plain as day on her face, but there's also gratitude. Eddie is obviously confused, and it must be obvious on his face. "I hate that you guys hurt Buck but I'm glad you did because he was there for me." Faustina sinks to the floor, knees digging into the sand.
Slowly, Eddie slowly sits down next to her. Watching as she wipes her face. "What happened?" He asks because he's noisy and curious. And when it comes to Buck he wants to know everything there is to know about him.
"It was two years ago. During the holidays." Faustina pulls her knees to her chest, wrapping her arms around her knees. "My dad left me and mom for another women when I was ten. After that she decided to dust off some degree she had before my parents married. It was hard. For her. Going from a stay at home mom to working while taking care of me. I know she did her best, but we needed the money which meant she was working." Faustina takes a deep breath in then out. "All the time. It hurt, my mom who was always there wasn't. So two years ago, I got fed up. It was holidays. Everyone had their families. But me. A couple of my friends, well, not friends anymore. I joined the wrong crowd an purpose. There was no one at home anyway." Eddie frowns. That can't have been good. Still doesn't know where Buck comes in but he'll let her talk. "We went to the beach. It was dark, like it is now. But we weren't the only ones there. Buck sat away from us. We ignored him. And he ignored us. We were loud. Buck just kept sitting there. Shoes neatly set by his side. It was odd, he didn't look like he was there to swim, and he looked... off. Anyway," she shakes her head, "I was dared to go into the water. I knew it was a bad idea but... I didn't care. Or I thought I didn't. I went in the water and... I got caught by some seaweed. I was getting dragged down, I tried calling for help. I don't know what happened. One moment I was watching them start to gather their things and then darkness. The cold, the crushing weight. When I woke up I was in the hospital."
"Buck saved you." Eddie says proud but his mind is on her describing Buck alone on the beach. It couldn't have been okay for him considering at the time he and Chris were not completely over the tsunami. Why was he there?
"He did. And he stayed with me in the hospital. Stayed all night with me, until I woke up." Faustina then smiles. "When the doctors asked who he was to me he blurted out cousin." Eddie chuckles. Of course he'd help her until he knew she is safe. "He stayed with me until the doctors said I was okay, but they wanted to watch me. Overnight stay. I tried to deny that and get home. I didn't want mom to deal with the hospital bill. I was already there I didn't want to add to it. He told me to rest, he'll take care of me, after all that's what cousins do." The smile on Faustina's face is fond. "I laughed so hard my stomach hurt. I haven't been cared for in a long time. So I let him do it. It was selfish but he didn't seem to mind. But I can tell he wasn't fully there. Then he threw up and about passed out in my hospital room. I was freaking out. Thinking somehow I killed him. I was hysterical." She gives a huff with a shake of her head. "I kept yelling 'my cousin! Is he hurt? My cousin!' We ended up switching spots. Him on the bed with me on the chair next to it. That's... that's when the doctor told him he's pregnant. A carrier. He was as shocked as I was. We looked at each other, as if asking one another if we just heard that correctly. The doctor told him he was twenty three, almost twenty four weeks pregnant. Buck face turned red, he was holding in his emotions so hard. It's funny to think about now. After I was released he took me back to his car, the jeep. He drove me to the plaza and practically kicked me out."
"What?" Eddie doesn't believe her.
"It felt like it. I told him I lived nearby and he parked. I asked him why, he looked at me as if I was crazy. Told me it was dangerous to tell strangers, especially day old cousins, my address. I laughed again, it felt like we knew each other for so long that I forgot. I did leave. Got halfway home before I turned back, hoping he'd still be at the plaza. I don't know what I was hoping for. Guess I didn't want to be alone again." Faustina shrugs.
"Did you find him?" Eddie wonders.
"Not at first. I went around hoping to find him until I did, sitting at the juice bar. Drinking a smoothie. I came up to him to talk. I'm sure he needed to let something off his chest, plus he just learned he is a carrier, I wanted to be a shoulder for him to lean on. I'm sure be paid for my hospital bill. Jose, the juice bar owner, you saw him." She says to which Eddie nods. "gave us drinks and we talked. Buck talked a lot. About how he didn't know he is a carrier, about the baby, his stupid parents, then he cried over you guys. The people he calls family. Jose and I just looked at each other. We had no clue how to make him feel better. So we listened. We had smoothies and juice, then we has some food from a truck near by. It was fun. Even if it was emotional. For a moment I forgot about home. But then it got late." Faustina lays back, eyes on the stars. "I went home and didn't see him after that. I thought maybe he went back to the states. Then, imagine my surprise coming home one day to see him on the same street. I called out to him. He looked happier. Learned he'd bought this house. He was talking to someone about reconstructing it. I came by almost every day to see him. Because of him we got to know abuela. She needed help with something so we volunteered. And now we're here." She says.
"Does your mom still not know?" Eddie asked worried they might get in trouble or something.
"She does. After Buck's house was completed I went over, I had not noticed my mom was home that day. She followed me. Abuela was helping plant some flowers. Obviously I joined and we were just talking and laughing when my mom stepped up. I told her about what had happened, how Buck stayed with me, that he now lives here. Mom had a talking with me when we got home but after that it's been us."
"Was Buck showing? The twins?" Eddie wonders.
"No, sure he has no abs like he does now, but he wasn't round. He was just muscled with pudge around his middle. We went with him to one of his ultrasounds. That's when we learned he was having twins. He was scared of course. He's never had to take care of a baby before and now he's got two. But abuela promised to be there for him. I said I'd help. Once he got into the third trimester, he popped. He was... large." She whispers. Eddie smiles out to the sea. As much as he would have loved to be there he wasn't, and it's frustrating but it's nice to hear about it.
At least Buck didn't go through it alone. He has a support system.
Eddie groans as he opens his eyes. He reaches over with squinted eyes for his phone. He sees the time and his eyes snap open, pushing the covers off his body to get up. Only to pause at the room. First off it's not his. Second, he's not at home. He sags where he sits.
He pulls his phone up to see what time it is in the states. Chris is at school. It's a wonder he slept in. Eddie takes a breath. Taking a listen for his surroundings. He doesn't hear anything. He gets up deciding to get something to eat and maybe find Buck so they can talk. Out in the hallway he hears some shuffling around. Someone's here. He follows the sound to the kitchen where he finds Buck moving around.
"Here's the thing we started out friends, it was cool, but it was all pretend." Eddie smiles getting closer as Buck sings, he's off key with a voice too deep but Eddie sort of misses it. All they need is Chris giggling from the dining table and it'll be like no time at all has past.
"But since you've been gone! I can breathe for the first time, I'm so moving on, Yeah! Ye-AHHH!" Buck screams as he catches Eddie there. He places a hand over his heart while the other holds himself up on the counter. "Fuck, Eddie." Buck breaths as Eddie holds in a laugh. "Jesus you almost gave me a heart attack."
"Sorry. It's just... been a while." Eddie says looking around. Buck doesn't say anything. "Where is everyone else?"
"Karen and Hen went to sightsee, abuela and... abuela," Buck frowns, because that's a little confusing. "They went to some... old people gathering. Athena and Pepa have the twins and are going to have fun with them." Buck says. "You hungry? You slept through breakfast." Buck looks at Eddie who hasn't looked away from Buck since he started talking.
"Yes." Eddie says, then his stomach rumbles. "Please." He adds on.
He watches as Buck hums to the rest of the song. Moving around the kitchen. "I'm sorry." Eddie says. Buck's movements slow down but he doesn't stop.
"I know. You said that in your letter." Buck states.
"I'm also seeing a therapist." Eddie adds. Buck frowns, taking a second to look at him, then looks back at his hands.
"I know. That was also in your letter." Buck reminds Eddie. Who feels the back of his neck heat up. He's happy to get the chance to talk but what does he say? Everything he wanted to say was in the letter.
"I don't know what to do to make you forgive me." Eddie decides to go with honesty. He had a talk with Frank before leaving. Honesty and listen, understand, then react. He can do that.
"Mmm, sucks doesn't it." Buck says, sarcasm heavy.
"You are mad." Eddie points out. Buck doesn't deny it so he guesses that's true. "For someone mad you are being nice." Eddie eyes the way he moves in the kitchen to feed him.
"I can still be mad even if I still care and love you." Buck says. Eddie feels his hearts skip a beat, but he pushes that aside. There's not much to say after that. But he doesn't want to stop talking. Apologizing doesn't seem to be doing anything, so what else is there?
It's been on his mind since the night before. Something Faustina said. He can't get it out of his head.
"Buck... can I ask, I just want to know, what were you doing that night you saved Faustina?" Eddie asks softly, he's not going to push, he thinks he knows, he just wants Buck to confirm it or not. He'd be really happy to know he's not right, that this gut feeling is wrong. But he knows Buck, maybe he can't read his face any longer but that doesn't mean he can't understand how he thinks. Hopefully.
"She told you?" Buck doesn't sound mad, and he's not. It's not really a secret. Him being there, her drowning. But what Eddie doesn't know is that Buck and Faustina don't talk about that night. She never asked what he was doing there. He never brought it up. Sure they've talked about their feelings but he's never gone into that.
"She really hated me, us." Eddie points out. Buck lets out a sigh.
But he doesn't say anything. He just continues to move around his kitchen. Eddie thinks he's not going to get anything until Buck lets out another sigh.
"I was going to... kill myself." Buck confesses slowly.
Eddie's whole body gets cold. His mind blank. His gut was right. Buck wanted to end his own life. Cheerful, happy, sunny Buck wanted to kill himself. That's what they all, what he, drove Buck to. Suicide. Eddie can see him, see Buck just walking out to sea to end it all. To never be found.
"Wh-" Eddie voice starts, but it comes out wobbled and rough. There's a lump stuck in his throat and he can't clear it cause his mind is on an image of Buck drowning. Drowning with the twins in him. He lets out a shuddering breath.
If Buck hears it he doesn't care because he keeps going, "I was thinking what was the point? The voice in my head, sounded like my dad's. Wondering what was there for me. I was too much again. I fucked up like I always do. How long will people leave me behind?"
"You weren't-" Eddie stops when Buck gives him a glare. A full heated glare.
"So you being... a big bully... an asshole wasn't you leaving me behind? Then what was it Eddie?" Buck asks sharply.
"I..." Eddie looks down, ashamed of his own actions. "I made a mistake." Eddie confesses. That's what it all was. A mistake, he needed someone to push the blame on, someone alive and he made the mistake of choosing Buck. The one who was in front of him. "I shouldn't have turned my grief and anger on you. I just... wished you were there." Eddie tells him.
"And I wished you were on my side. Instead I'm the villain."
"You aren't." Eddie reminds him.
"You all made me feel that way."
"We understand now. Bobby didn't let you back, I would have fought to keep my job to. My family. I know how much they mean to you. How we mean to you. Sorry we didn't understand. Sorry we drove you way. I'm sorry I drove you away." Eddie looks back up to see Buck fixing a plate now.
Eddie waits with bated breath for an answer, or some sort of sound, a nod maybe? Buck instead turns to Eddie with a fixed plate. He walks to Eddie who watches. Buck sets the plate on a placemat. Eddie goes to sit down. "Thanks for the words." Buck says.
"No. I should thank you. For Chris, for seeing him and loving him." Eddie says looking down at the food. Oh it looks so good. He's got a good night's rest and now he's eating a delicious meal. "Thank you for letting me see the twins."
"They are yours Eddie, I wouldn't do that to you."
"I know. But thanks anyway."
Buck looks away. "They saved me." Buck says sitting down in the chair next to Eddie.
"I thought Faustina did that." Eddie voices his confusion.
"No." Buck shakes his head, eyes on the dark wood on the table. "I saved Faustina because she was was screaming and the people with her ran away scared. I can hear it. I knew what it's like being under water like that so I saved her. When I got her to the hospital I wanted to make sure she was okay, maybe get her home and to a scared parent. But I was thinking of doing it again, after I knew she was safe."
"What?" Eddie asks, fork close to his mouth, head turned to Buck. Who still is not looking at him.
"I thought I'd save one more person before I go. And I had a lot of time to think about it. I know I never talked about it much but I did enjoy my time in Peru, so I thought I'd get away from everyone, and kill myself here. This far away the news wouldn't reach anyone, and my body would be long lost. As I was waiting for Faustina to wake up I thought I'd wait for night again and try a second time. But then... well Faustina had to stay the night at the hospital and then... well I learned I was pregnant." Buck says a small curl to the corner of his lips. The memory leading up to that revelation is sad and Buck doesn't openly announce it but learning it, now, it's rather funny.
"I..." Eddie is speechless. He doesn't like the images popping in his mind. Doesn't like the idea of him losing Buck. Of Chris losing Buck. Would they have ever known? Probably not. Chris would grow to hate him. And Eddie would be miserable. Eddie doesn't like the thought of some imaginary future, a future where he doesn't have Buck or the twins. Full of emotions Eddie pulls Buck into a tight hug. Tears stinging his eyes.
Buck gasps in surprise but after a while he hugs Eddie back. Both holding each other tight. Eddie can feel the way Buck body trembles. But he makes no sounds. It's something Eddie hates. How quiet Buck is when he cries. He knows why, it doesn't take a genius.
They stay holding each other. Eddie doesn't care about his food turning cold.
Bright smiles. Blue eyes. Dimples. Glowing hair. A laugh that vibrates.
It's a wonder someone like that wanted to end their own life. An angel wanting to no longer be around. Eddie never once thought Buck would be someone who would want to end their life. He loves everything, loves to learn, cook, read, animals, plants, science, parks, zoos, aquariums, picnics, parks, his job, family. He loves so much. And Eddie has always liked that about Buck. Found that amazing.
It is the total opposite of Eddie. He doesn't have the capacity to like or love everything. Eddie has a circle and stays in it but Buck, he loves going out of his circle and making it larger.
For someone with such a big heart to would want to have it stop. It's so wrong. So very wrong. And Eddie hates that that happened. It happened and Eddie wouldn't have been around to stop it. But the twins did. And he loves them all the more for it.
"Jeez. Can you stop glaring? You're scaring the locals." Buck teases with a grin, setting the tote bag in the shopping cart.
"Sorry." Eddie looks away as Buck finishes paying. Rubbing his hand down his face to smooth it over. He's getting into his head. Not able to forget what they had talked about two hours ago- fuck, has it only been two hours?- and now they are here. Buck having made a shopping list as Eddie ate.
They talked some more, about Chris mostly but they talked. And it felt good to talk to Buck again. Like they always did. Knowing Buck would listen and he won't judge. He'd add his opinions sometimes and he'd ask Eddie good questions that help him but he would never force him to feel a certain way, never belittle him, or tell him he's feeling wrong. Or that he shouldn't be feeling at all.
So when Buck had said he needed to go shopping for more food, since they have more guests, Eddie volunteered to help. And by help it was by pushing the cart and giving Buck company.
Eddie follows Buck to his jeep. He doesn't expect Buck to forgive him now, but he thinks Buck isn't as mad as he was. That's a win, a colossal win in Eddie's book. He helps Buck load the back of his jeep. Afterwards Eddie once again takes his place in the passenger side. Feeling nostalgic about being here like this.
"I've been meaning to asks, but I never did, how did Bobby take the news?" Buck wonders starting the car.
"About what? Athena finding you or the twins?" Eddie asks back looking at Buck questioningly.
"Both?" Buck shrugs with one shoulder, carefully pulling out the parking spot.
"Well, Athena told us she found you at the same time. All of us, minus Chim, were at the firehouse. I was shocked so I wasn't really paying attention to Bobby. He was silent though. And he heard through the grapevine that you have a kid. From what Athena said Bobby tried holding it in but he snapped and asked her about it."
"You guys kept it a secret? I told Athena I didn't mind you all knowing, I just didn't want Bobby or Chim around. I definitely don't want Maddie around." Buck says his sisters name with a lot of venom. He knows there's something there but they aren't close enough for him to asks about it. Eddie doesn't think they are, and he doesn't want to cross a line.
"Athena thought it was best not to tell him. She didn't want to hurt his feelings, he was pretty bad after learning you left. I was too. Of course hearing you had twins shocked him, from what Athena told us. We haven't shown him any pictures though. At this point we are curious to what he'd do."
"That's a bit mean." Buck says but he's smiling.
"It's not like we are really hiding it but for Hen and I it's kind of revenge for what he did."
"What did he do?" Buck tilts his head but continues to drive.
"For what he did to you Buck." Eddie looks at Buck like he's gone crazy.
"You guys don't have to do that to Bobby."
"Let us. Things got bad because Bobby kept you from work. Then he wasn't honest about it. By the time we learned the truth it was already too late. And being mad at him for it seemed like a waste of time. Now we can get our revenge." Eddie says darkly. "Why do you ask?" Eddie wonders calming down, remembering Buck brought the man up.
"I read Bobby's letter this morning so I was curious."
"Athena gave it to you huh." Eddie says.
"Before she left with Pepa."
"And?"
"I'm curious if you and Bobby see the same therapist?" Buck says seriously.
"What?"
"Both your letters are very similar but yours is 'I'm mad at my soon to be ex-wife who died' while Bobby's is 'I was scared because my family died.'"
"Is that all?"
"Some sentences were the same as well."
"What about what came next? How do you feel? Still mad or...?" Eddie questions.
"I'm frustrated. Because I always admire Bobby, even after I knew about the fire. I know that fire isn't his fault and I can see it hurts him. It's sad that he lost his family, and I never want to make him feel like that but... he's not my dad. I would love if that were case. And I know he treats me like that is the case but this was not that. He kept me from my job. He always talks to me about being emotional on the job but it sounds like he was pretty emotional himself. I get it's different, it is, I know that but it sucks. He treats me like a child, like his son but this, it was a slap in the face that he's not my dad and to know just how easy it is for him to take that away from me." Buck rambles. Eddie watches the emotions flicking through the others face. He saw rage, but it was nothing compared to the hurt on Buck's face. "So easy for him to be captain Robert Nash."
Eddie doesn't want to imagine how Buck looked when he came to the realization that Bobby isn't his father. They can act like it but there hasn't really been something to set it in stone. Eddie knows Buck loves Bobby as a father, Buck always told him he knows what a bad father is like and Bobby is a good one.
"I'm sorry." That's the only thing Eddie can think to say.
"It's not your fault." Buck takes a shuddering breath. "I'm use to love being like that. Taken away so easily."
Eddie opens his mouth to say that's not true but something in his brain told him to stay quiet. So he does. He should enjoy the rest of his time here. To once again show Buck that love that was taken away so cruelly.