Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

When the human met their fiery— and first— death at the paws of the woman they had meekly called mother just two days earlier, they came to in front of the small house where they had grasped at a golden light on their way back from the spider bake sale that morning. Their eyes went wide and their breathing quickened and they looked around them in a panic.

Truthfully, Chara was just as disoriented. Dying again wasn’t exactly fun, and being conscious after dying again was confusing, to say the least. Two days ago, they had been dead. They didn’t remember how or why, or much of anything beyond their name, the fact that they were human, some faint impressions that they knew this place as they hitched a ride around the Ruins, and a bitter hatred that sat in the pit of the stomach they didn’t have. They couldn’t feel it in the stomach of the human whose eyes they were looking through, but they could feel things in that stomach. Right now, they felt a building nausea, and then a sudden lurch as bile was expelled onto the leaves at the foot of the old tree. Couldn’t exactly puke magic, Chara supposed.

*You threw up. Just bile. 

Chara slipped some color commentary into the human’s mind, disguised (hopefully) as one of their own thoughts. Chara didn’t think the human had any reason to assume the observations came from a dead person squatting in their body, just as Chara had no reason to tell them that there was a dead person squatting in their body. They distrusted humans more than they distrusted any of the monsters trying to kill one, even though this human was just a little kid and they had been growing on them a bit the last two days. Only a bit. Just enough for some commentary.

The human’s knees gave out underneath them and they collapsed to kneel in their own bile, shaking and clutching at their arms, digging their nails into their sweater.

I died, Chara could hear them thinking. She…

She, Toriel, rushed out of the house and knelt by the human’s side. “My child, what is wrong? Have you fallen ill? Did you stray too far while playing outside, did someone hurt you? ” She placed her paw on the human’s back and extended the other to them in an offer to help them stand. She didn’t remember what happened. Maybe it didn’t happen yet.

The human flinched away, eyes wide and darting. If Chara had their own eyes, they would have rolled them. Not for the human’s fear, but for their own decision to do something about it.

*She isn’t going to hurt you.

Chara left out the unspoken yet. Somehow, it was enough to calm the human down so that Toriel can help them inside to get cleaned up. After providing them with clean clothes, Toriel insisted that the human rest. She watched over them as they settled into bed, tucked them in, and placed her paw on their forehead. It pulsed gentle green with healing magic. It didn’t fix anything.

“I understand that this may be somewhat frightening for you. Perhaps your body is reacting to the stress. I promise you are safe here, my child. Get some sleep and I will prepare some soup for when you wake.” She pulled her paw away and held it up to her chest. She gripped her wrist with her other paw, as if holding it back from attempting any more physical comfort. Her face twitched briefly into a sorrowful frown, but whatever she had to say remained unspoken, other than: “Goodnight.” She left the room and closed the door behind her.

The human didn’t even close their eyes. Chara waited a few minutes before voicing a thought.

*A comfortable bed. You should get some sleep.

The human did not close their eyes.

Chara didn’t blame them, they supposed. Not often you woke up after dying. Nevermind alive. Hell, Chara hadn’t even done that. As far as they knew, being in someone else’s brain didn’t count as ‘alive.’

“Hello?” The human whispered. Calling for Toriel when they had just been terrified to be near her on the account of the whole ‘she killed them’ thing?

*She can’t hear you.

The human shook their head. “I mean you.”

Chara didn’t present another thought, though theirs were going a mile a minute. Was the human addressing them? The thoughts they had been sending weren’t even in a voice, really. They were just thoughts. Could the human even tell someone was talking? Was it because Chara had refused to present them in the first person and instead worded them in the second in some pathetic attempt to hang onto what little identity they had left?
When there wasn’t a response, the human spoke again. “Please? I… I know someone has to be there.”

They knew? Like hell they knew. Irrationally, Chara recognized it was irrational, Chara got pissed off.

*There’s nobody there.

The human shook their head again. “I know what it feels like to be alone. I’m not… alone right now. I haven’t been since I got here. Your um… joke about the stick made me laugh. The thing about its bark and its bite? It made me less scared, so thank you. Can… Can we talk?” They pushed the covers off of them and sat up in the bed. “Please?”

In the same way they caved earlier to assuage some of the human’s fear, Chara caved. Watching this kid compliment frogs and thank spiders for their hard work all while scared shitless— it was charming, sue them. 

Fine. Chara wasn’t sure how they made the distinction between this and the commentary, but they managed to think at the human with hopefully their own voice, if they still had one. Boo.

The human gasped and covered their mouth. Then, they lowered their hands to their lap and started cracking their knuckles individually. They looked around the room like they’d be able to find Chara. It just made Chara dizzy. Luckily, they stopped pretty fast. “Where are you? Are you… in my head?”

Yeah. I don’t understand it any better than you do. Barely remember anything. I’m supposed to be dead, I’m pretty sure.

“So you’re like a ghost? Oh! Wait, first… I’m Frisk.” Frisk stared down at their hands as they started wringing them. They ran out of knuckle cracks.

Something like that. All I really know is that my name was Chara.

“Chara, huh? That’s a nice name…!” 

Chara was suddenly cut off from Frisk, retreating into their own mind (if they even had that anymore.) It was as if hearing those words killed them all over again. Complete darkness. Utter silence except for those words. The smell of flowers. ‘ Chara, huh? That’s a nice name.’ That wasn’t Frisk. This was— Their one and only memory. 

Chara became aware of the lack of sensations, and they had been dead too recently for it to be comforting. They brought themselves to the forefront of Frisk’s mind.

“Chara? Chara? Can you still hear me? Where did you go…?” Frisk whimpered like a kicked puppy. Chara wasn’t sure how long they had been gone, but apparently it was long enough for this kid to start crying.

I’m here, you little crybaby. Geez, a dead kid can’t have a moment to themselves to think a little?

Frisk squeaked and wiped at their eyes. “You’re back! Sorry… It’s not like I’m not used to it, but I don’t really like being alone.” They sniffled. “You’re um… a kid, too?”

Think so. I dunno.

“What kind of monster are you?”

I was the only bad kind. Human. Just because Chara was tolerating this one didn’t mean that they could let go of the hatred they felt when they heard the word human. It was one of the only things they had. I was a human kid, just like you. Don’t remember anything else.

“Do you remember what happened… before I threw up?” Frisk held their breath in the brief silence that followed.

Chara was ready to scold them for asking a stupid question— of course they remembered— but they realized that Frisk might not understand how closely bound Chara was to them ever since they woke up. It wasn’t like Chara even understood it themselves.

Yep. Fwoosh. They made a sound that vaguely resembled fire. The joke didn’t go over well. Frisk drew their knees to their chest and squeezed with as much force as their little body could muster. Toriel clearly doesn’t remember. That weird glowy spot totally let you— us? You. It let you time travel. I just said the determination stuff cause it felt right somehow, but… I guess being able to jump through time is pretty motivating. Holy shit. If this is real, you don’t have to be scared of anyone. You can do anyth—

“I’m not scared of Toriel. ” Frisk covered their ears like Chara was speaking into those and not their brain. Chara stopped talking, anyways. They didn’t know what had gotten them so excited. This wasn’t even a power they understood. It was just power and the thought of it somehow got them so worked up that they almost felt their existence flickering. Like butterflies flapping wildly in a stomach you don’t have. They focused back in on Frisk.

Coulda fooled me. Fwoosh.

Frisk flinched. “I guess I am scared of her, but I’m not— the most scared of her. I’m the most scared of me , Chara. Can you keep a secret?”

Stars , they wanted eyes to roll. This kid made no sense.

I’m in your head, how do you expect me to snitch?

Frisk nodded, the sarcastic answer relaxing their shoulders somehow. “Right…”

We’re stuck with each other, as far as I can tell. Don’t have any secrets of my own on account of the lack of memories. Empty space for yours. Spill. Spill. That felt familiar. The act of collecting secrets felt familiar. Information was power, right? Power. If Chara could have any amount of power over Frisk, that would be preferable. They were the only one with a body.

“When I realized that I died, I was mad . I didn’t want to be mad. It didn’t make any sense to be mad, I— I’m only here because…” Frisk shook their head. “Monsters have been nice to me whenever they weren’t flinging scary magic at me, and Toriel’s the closest thing I’ve ever had to a mom and I’ve only known her for two days, but I— I was just thinking that it’s so unfair. Why did I have to die when I finally decided I wanted to live? And when I thought that, I found myself wishing that I listened to her when she said fight or run away. Chara, I wanted to fight. I wanted to fight back, I wanted to hurt someone and make sure I lived. Chara, I’m just as bad as everyone on the surface. Do you… wish you were stuck in someone else’s head?”

Didn’t know you could be so talkative. Chara couldn’t bring themselves to say more. It was all just so achingly familiar. Wanting to hurt. Wanting to be hurt. Wanting to die and then wanting to live. Well. They had clearly gotten one of their wishes to come true. But how? Not being able to remember enraged them.

“I just said that I wanted to hurt people! I should get hurt! I should die again, but I don’t want to! I wish I could go back to wanting to!” Frisk raised their voice just a little too much. Chara could offer no comfort, and they were too slow in telling them to keep it down.

Toriel opened the door and the light from the hallway spilled into the room around her shadow. Her features were twisted in worry. “My child? I was coming to check on you, but I overheard you shouting… Is it alright if I come in so that we can talk? Perhaps over some pie.”

They were standing in front of the house again. Huh. They could jump back without dying. Frisk stared at the ground and their stomach churned with nausea as they fought the urge not to vomit this time.

*You did not want to talk.

Chapter Text

Frisk turned away from the house and went back into the Ruins, where they found an empty room bereft of even cobwebs and bakesale-loving spiders. Three monsters attacked them on the way there. They leaned against the stone wall and traced lines in the layer of dust on the floor in front of them with their stick. 

“Even when I say I don’t want to fight, they attack me until I say exactly what they want to hear. I don’t want to fight. I just want to make friends.”

Didn’t have any on the surface? Chara already knew the answer. Looking at Frisk— or through their eyes, rather— was like looking at their reflection in a dirty rippling puddle. Not quite right, but similar enough to know what they were looking at.

Frisk just shook their head and laid the stick flat to swipe away their pointless lines. They turned right to face a new patch of dust.

Family? Probably not if Toriel was the closest thing they ever had to a mother.

They shook their head again. They scraped out the shape of a smiling flower. The sight of it made Chara uneasy.

Erase that little freak.

Frisk hesitated, but swiped the patch of stone clean of dust. It was almost like Chara actually had a hand. 

Draw Toriel.

“I’m not a good enough drawer to do Toriel…”

Just her head.

“But I dunno how to—”

Draw an oval and throw some horns and floppy ears on it, geez. The horns curl in a little. The ears have to be slightly longer than the oval. And for her eyes, you gotta make sure—

Frisk giggled a little. “It sounds like you want to draw it, Chara.”

Yeah? Well I can’t, they snapped. Chara was embarassed that Frisk clocked them so easily, so they used the time-old diversion tactic of pure aggression. Just do the stupid oval.

Frisk didn’t move. They were a shitty hand. “But you want to, though?”

Doesn’t matter.

“It does to me. Want to?”

Chara groaned. You’re so stubborn.

“I think you described it as ‘determined.’” Chara could feel the corners of Frisk’s mouth tug up in a stupid grin.

Yes I wanna fucking draw it. I can’t, though. Happy? Frisk had asked if Chara wished they were stuck in someone else’s head, but Chara was betting about now that Frisk wished that someone else was stuck in their head. Someone nicer and less snappy. Less fine with the idea of wanting to hurt people or wanting to die. 

Frisk’s grin fell and their mouth set into a tight line. They gripped the stick. “You’re like… In my brain, right?”

Something like that.

“A person’s brain is what moves their body, right? Or maybe it’s their soul…” They gently brushed the fingers of their other hand against where their chest lit up and shone with a red heart whenever they were in a fight. “But whatever it is— If you’re like… in me…” They trailed off. They didn’t say exactly what they were getting at. But whatever it was had Chara’s very being trembling. Control of any sort? A way to exist outside of the confines of Frisk’s head?

What, you think we can go halfsies on autonomy? More snapping. Frisk would change their mind.

“I dunno… Can we try?” Frisk slouched and closed their eyes. It was the closest the two of them could come to eye contact with each other, unless they were looking in the mirror. Or a dirty puddle. They were offering to share their body. With Chara. It was exciting, but… Was it exciting in the way that realizing Frisk had time travel abilities and was above consequences was? In the way that made Chara feel like there was something wrong with them?

No. We shouldn’t.

Frisk’s eyes snapped open and suddenly Chara was looking at a fresh patch of dust. No Toriel drawing in sight. “Why not?”

I’m… messed up. You don’t want something messed up piloting your body.

“You’re not something, you’re someone. You’re like— my first friend.” Frisk mumbled. No matter how quietly they said it, Chara would have heard them. And no matter how Frisk said it, Chara would think it was stupid.

I’m not your friend, I’m haunting you. Chara felt a little bad for a second. ‘I’m not your friend’ felt kinda harsh, even for their rude tendencies, but Frisk was undeterred. 

“You’re my friend! It’s thanks to you that I’m not by myself, and— And I’m messed up, too! It’s not like I’m giving you my whole life. I told you, I wanna live now. I just… Wanna let you draw a picture. I’m not giving you my body, I’m just saying… If we could share it, maybe you’d feel less… dead. You’re not just my friend. I’m yours, too, so… Try this with me!”

Chara went quiet. They weren’t sure how many friends they had when they were alive, but— they doubted it was much more than Frisk. Fine. But they were too embarrassed to actually respond.

*Your determination sways your friend.

Frisk sat up straight, that annoying grin tugging at their lips again. “Alright, let’s do this!”

Fine, whatever.

Frisk closed their eyes again and let the arm gripping the stick go limp. “Can you move it?”

How the hell am I supposed to do that?

Frisk opened one of their eyes. “Uh… I dunno…” They closed it again. “I guess you don’t remember what you look like, do you?”

Chara absolutely did not. What does that have to do with anything?

“I was gonna try and imagine myself switching places with you or something… Like if there was a mirror in my head and we were each standing on one side… maybe I could pull you out and you could pull me in?”

Chara was floored. Was Frisk in their head? You think we’re like reflections of each other? You’ve known I was here for like an hour.

Frisk shrugged. “I just thought visualizing might help… Is it dumb?”

It’s incredibly dumb. Chara thought for a moment, back to when Frisk looked in the mirror shortly after arriving at Toriel’s. Their eyes were a shade of brown that managed to look distinctly golden. Like the light that let them jump through time. If your eyes are gold, like that light— Mine should be red. Like your soul in a fight. Like blood. Like hurt. Because Chara was seriously messed up and it was a bad idea for Frisk to do this.

Frisk nodded. “‘Kay.” They took a deep breath, eyes still closed. “Imagine you’re standing in front of the mirror at M— Toriel’s house. In the reflection, it’s me!”
What, and in yours it’s—

“You. Me, but my eyes are red.”

This was stupid and absolutely would not work. But all Chara had was their own mind, so it was easy enough to retreat into it and visualize. They imagined themselves in front of that mirror, Frisk in front of them. They imagined reaching out to touch it. Smooth, solid glass. Their reflection didn’t move.

Frisk made a squeaking sound. “Did you… touch it?”

Yeah. Could you— see that? Holy shit, there might be something to it. 

Chara felt Frisk’s head nod. “I didn’t even imagine moving my arm, but the reflection— Okay. Keep your uh… pretend hand there.”

Chara did as Frisk said and watched as that imaginary reflection placed their hand on their’s. Suddenly, the mirror was like liquid and they fell through.

Their eyes snapped open and they were alive . Suddenly, they realized that everything they felt through Frisk had been muted somehow. This was what air felt like when it was pulled into lungs. This was how bark felt against a palm. They tightened their grip on the stick. These were colors. They looked around the room of purple stone— Okay, fine. This was color. Singular. They reached up a hand to touch their face and it moved. They dragged their hand down Frisk’s— their— Frisk’s cheek. “Holy fuck.” It was Frisk’s voice, but Chara was saying it. Weird.

Chara?

Frisk’s voice rang again in their head like a squeaky little echo. “Frisk. You— It actually worked, you crazy little shit. I can move .” They stood up— and promptly fell on their ass, hitting their back against the stone wall. Not so used to having legs. Still, it was incredible. A little overwhelming, but incredible. In their excitement, Chara nearly forgot that Frisk wasn’t so used to not having legs. “Wait, you’re— Okay, right?”

Mhm. It’s a little like I’m dreaming. It’s not so bad.

“And— This is still your body. We can change back, right?”

You don’t wanna draw your picture first?

“No,” Chara snapped. It felt strange hearing what they were saying out loud. “I wanna make sure you didn’t permenantly lose control over your body.” Control. Chara knew they wanted it, but— Ha. They couldn’t bring themselves to want it at Frisk’s expense. Knowing that relieved them. They were messed up, but not so much that they couldn’t have one single friend. They closed their eyes and imagined the mirror again. Frisk’s hand reached through before they even moved and pulled them back to the other side.

I didn’t even have to touch it. Chara imagined the mirror again and when they touched it, their hand didn’t pass through. Solid. Looks like you get to decide, since it’s your body.

Frisk rubbed their back. It was sore from Chara’s tumble. “That’s good to know, right? See? Everything’s okay. Do you wanna draw your picture?” They sounded way too excited at the prospect of being able to go splitsies on their own body, but— As long as they could take back control from Chara and they wouldn’t end up stuck with a power hungry freak at the wheel… Chara supposed it was okay.

Yeah, I wanna draw my picture.

They swapped with Frisk and scratched out a picture of Toriel in the dust. It looked a lot better than Frisk’s shitty flower.

*It’s Toriel. It looks just like her!

Chara smiled a little despite themselves. They chalked it up to Frisk’s face liking to smile too much. They ended up swiping the Toriel drawing away with their shoe before Frisk took their body back.

Chapter Text

I want to live.

Frisk chanted it in their head like a mantra whenever they were engaged in a fight. Chara wasn’t sure whether Frisk knew that Chara could hear them thinking it or not. If Frisk wanted them to hear it. But they did, and over the course of the next two weeks they spent together in the Ruins, Chara adapted it to a mantra of their own: I want Frisk to live. They knew, deep down, that they’d hurt someone to make this desire come true. Though that knowledge terrified them, Frisk’s cheesy grins into the mirror at Toriel’s place whenever the two passed did a lot to settle the terror. If someone got hurt, Chara knew Frisk wouldn’t let it stay that way.

Well, unless the person getting hurt was Frisk. They made it clear they didn’t want to die , sure, but besides the incident with Toriel asking to talk and another time that the leaves didn’t cushion their fall right in the ‘there is only one switch’ puzzle area— when they got what Chara was pretty sure was a concussion— Frisk didn’t manually jump back as a result of injuries or rough encounters. It irked the hell out of Chara. If you have time travel powers, why not use them to make your life easier? Why have to shove a bunch of magic food down your throat or go sniffling to Toriel every time you skinned your knees if you could just undo it? Frisk whined that it was an ‘abuse of power’ and that it didn’t ‘feel right.’ Chara couldn’t do anything to sway them about this for whatever reason, but they could do their best to keep Frisk from getting too badly hurt. 

Over time, the two of them got better at swapping control. They even figured out how to share it, each of them standing on the same side of that imaginary mirror. In battle, even when Frisk was controlling their own body, Chara could throw it to the ground in a pinch, or handle legwork while Frisk did their best to negotiate. At night, on the living room floor at Toriel’s feet in front of the fire, or on what Chara and Frisk considered to be their shared bed, each of them could use one arm and draw together . Frisk still wasn’t very good at drawing; they preferred coloring Chara’s drawings, and Chara didn’t mind in the slightest. Once or twice, Toriel had come in to check on Frisk and pick up one of Chara’s drawings. When she did, she got this faraway look in her eye and mumbled something about ‘children and their wonderful tendencies towards creativity’ and asked Frisk if they’d like a chocolate dessert. They were indifferent, ‘not very hungry,’ but Chara insisted they said yes, and so they did.

It wasn’t a bad life by any means, it was just… a stagnant one. Not that Chara was one to judge, they hadn’t been alive at all a week ago, and they didn’t exactly remember what it was like. It was just that you could only spend so long surrounded by purple stone and the same handful of monsters that didn’t talk so much as make little sounds and shoot magic at you before you felt claustrophobic. And there weren’t exactly a lot of options for food. Toriel’s cooking or the spider bake sale were the main ones, and Toriel obviously had a handful of recipes that were her favorites. It was clearly getting to Frisk. By the second week after they spoke with Chara the first time, Frisk had stopped going out into the Ruins at all.

One night after Toriel had said goodnight and Frisk settled into bed, Chara broached the subject.

I know I’m not the only one getting tired of this. Hell, you originally tried to leave after the first two days.

Frisk let out a sigh like a sad dog and rolled over under the covers to face the wall. “That wasn’t because I was tired, I— Just didn’t wanna im… impose? Is that the word?”

Yeah.  

“And I thought that if I wanted to live now, I shouldn’t… hide in the place where I tried to die.”

Then fwoosh.

“Fwoosh.” Frisk’s voice cracked.

Hiding, huh? Chara supposed that was a good way to describe how it felt staying there. It was just so dusty and cramped and there was barely anyone around. Boring. Do you get the sense that Toriel’s hiding?

“Maybe… All that stuff she said the first time I tried to leave… About Asgore and the other kids that have been here… I really think she thought she was helping. And when it happened… It was an accident, right?”

Maybe she should have had more control over her fire, then, Chara snapped. Fwoosh. Remember?

“I remember…”

Killing a kid isn’t exactly he—

“ I know. ” Frisk squeaked and covered their mouth. “Sorry. I didn’t mean to snap.”

Chara was quiet for a minute. They’d be lying if they said they hadn’t been startled, but… Eh, they deserved it. I snap at you all the time. No biggie. I just did it. Should they be apologizing for that? Did Frisk want them to be apologizing for that? Could they even bring themself to? Not… directly.

*Your friend is sorry.

Only a little. It didn’t even hit the bare minimum, but Frisk perked up.

“That’s okay. I’m glad we can talk stuff out.” Chara felt their lips pull into a smile. What a sappy kid, geez. 

They tapped on their imaginary mirror. Let me through. Just an arm is fine. Not a second after they asked, they could reach their hand through like the mirror was liquid. Frisk’s left arm reached up to pat their right shoulder in what Chara hoped was a comforting gesture. Must’ve been, because Frisk’s right hand shifted to interlock fingers with their left.

“Toriel’s been nice, but…” But maybe it was time to stop hiding. Chara was curious as to what living would look like for Frisk once they were out of here.

Tomorrow?

Frisk hesitated, their breath hitching in their throat. “I don’t want to die.”

You won’t this time. Now you’ve got uh… someone with you.

“A friend.”

…

*You have a friend with you. It fills you with Determination.

Frisk’s eyes fluttered shut and they fell asleep holding hands with themself.

Chapter Text

“Prove to me you are strong enough to survive.”

Frisk had desperately insisted a fight wasn’t necessary, but so far, everything was turning out the same as it did last time. Toriel went on the offensive and the corridor was filled with the light of swirling orbs of flame, and of Frisk’s soul glowing out of their chest. Frisk gripped the stick that they still hadn’t discarded after all this time and threw themselves out of the path of the first wave.

Told you we should’ve grabbed the toy knife.

“Toriel— Mom! We don’t have to fight!” We don’t need it. We can’t hurt her. Frisk extended their shaking hand towards Toriel. An attempt at a truce that Toriel wouldn’t even meet with her eyes. She silently cast another fire spell. Some fire grazed Frisk’s cheek as they didn’t quite dodge in time. Chara didn’t need to see the soul health indicator on Frisk’s phone to know that even just getting grazed like that lost them some HP. 

Frisk. If at any point you think you’re gonna die, tag me in.

“Mom, I don’t want to hurt you!” Chara knew Frisk was devastated that the sentiment didn’t seem to go both ways. After all, even as Toriel’s face twitched in discomfort and she continued averting her guilt-ridden gaze, she kept attacking. And the fire hurt . Frisk took another hit and stumbled into the wall. They weren’t dodging as well as they did during their miscellaneous fights out in the Ruins. Emotionally compromised. Not that Chara could be too judgemental about that.

I’m already dead. You shouldn’t have to feel the full force of it again. Sensations are muted in here, so—

“ Stop. I’m not gonna die.” Chara hadn’t meant to piss them off, they just wanted to let them know that if things went south, they could count on Chara. Shit, did they hurt Frisk’s feelings? It seemed way too easy to do that… Shit. They’d apologize later.

Toriel snapped to face Frisk, making eye contact for the first time since the battle began. She lowered her paws “You will, my child. If you go out there, they will kill you. Do you not understand? I simply wish to keep you safe.”

Yeah, feeling real safe. Frisk, do you want me to take arms or legs?

“You’re throwing fire at me.” Frisk stepped forward and gestured at the burn on their cheek and the singed threads of their sweater sleeve with the stick.

Toriel’s brows furrowed and she looked at the floor. “I will cease if you only go upstairs. This is for your own good.”

“And if I don’t?” Frisk took another step forward.

Toriel raised her paws again and shut her eyes tight. She exhaled sharply through her nose. “Fight me or run away.”

“I won’t run.” I want to live. I want to live. I want to live. Frisk pointed the stick at Toriel. “So you’ll keep… You’ll keep hurting me?” Their voice cracked. Their eyes watered. It had never been clearer that they were only a kid.

I want you to live. Am I arms or legs?

“Please flee , you foolish child! Anything that happens to you out there will be far worse than this!” Toriel’s eyes snapped open and she shot out more flames. “ They will not hesitate to kill you!”

Chara was going to make a comment about how Toriel hadn’t hesitated, either, but… Maybe she had. Chara could be misremembering, but did Toriel look sort of horrified when Frisk took their last hit? Had Frisk been right last night? That it was an accident? Still, there had been a last hit. Chara wanted Frisk to live. Chara pressed their hand against the mirror. They’d help. They’d fight if they had to. If Frisk wanted. If Frisk wasn’t still scared to.

Frisk gripped the stick so tight that it dug into their palm. The mirror didn’t give way for Chara as Frisk charged forward through the fire, letting out a broken war cry. They had grown a spine. They weren’t going to let Toriel kill them— Or even just hurt them— anymore. The rush was better than sugar. Frisk was going to live. Frisk was going to kick ass. They weaved through the flames and swung the stick wildly at Toriel, jumping back whenever she grabbed at them. Chara couldn’t hear anything Toriel said over the pounding in Frisk’s ears. They noticed a second too late that Toriel had stopped attacking entirely.

The stick made contact with her chest.

It sank through as her chest started crumbling to dust.

Toriel fell to one knee.

Frisk, panting wildly, soaked with sweat, fell to both of theirs. 

“Urgh… You are stronger than I thought…”

Frisk’s chest tightened and they looked up at Toriel. One of her paws reached up to cup their tear slicked cheek. Frisk shook their head. “Nono, I— I was just fighting back— I was just tired of getting hurt. Don’t—”

Toriel shook her head and managed a smile. How was she smiling? Chara felt sick. Or maybe Frisk felt sick. They both felt sick. Toriel leaned down and bumped her snout against Frisk’s forehead. “Listen to me, small one… If you go beyond this door, keep walking as far as you can. Eventually, you will reach an exit.”

“ Please , I’m sorry—”

“No, my child. I am sorry. I truly thought that I could protect you from something far worse, even if you grew to hate me… I have to go now.”

“I don’t hate you, I was just—”

Toriel’s breathing grew shallow. She gasped a little for air. “Listen. Asgore… Do not let Asgore take your soul. His plan cannot be allowed to succeed.”

“Mom, I—” Frisk faltered. They didn’t seem to be able to find the words they wanted. Chara, aching in tandem with Frisk even through the strange elation that persisted from the first swing, gave them a nudge.

*You tell her you love her.

Frisk nodded. “I love you.”

“Be good, won’t you? My… child…” Toriel was gone. All that was left was dust, and a swelling of power in Frisk’s soul. The phone beeped. Some number went up. For a brief moment, Chara forgot themselves and wondered who would be their next target. Frisk’s quiet sobs brought them back.

We can go back.

Frisk hiccuped. “She didn’t mean it.”

Guess not. You were right, then. Sorry… Sorry I fwooshed at you a bunch.

“Chara, I killed her.”

We killed her. It’s just evening the score.

Frisk shook their head. “I didn’t even give you any control.”

Yeah and I didn’t do anything to stop you. Every time something happens, I remind you that we’re completely above consequences. Hell, I got excited when you started attacking. There’s something really wrong with me. S’probably rubbing off on you, I dunno.

Frisk placed their hands on the pile of dust and let them sink in. The dust was cold. It got under their nails. It felt like it got under their very skin. “Stop, Chara. You make it sound like you shouldn’t be around…”

Well. I am dead. Probably shouldn’t be around.

“Chara, I need you. I can’t do any of this on my own, I— Is it bad that I still want to keep living? After I did this?”
Chara had no idea what the answer to that was. They weren’t some expert on what was good and bad. But Frisk needed comfort, didn’t they? No. It’s not bad. You have to live. To bring her back. And after that— It’s still fine to want to live, I think. It’s natural or something.

“Or something…”

What do you want me to say? That you should die? No. I’d hate that. You think you need me around? Frisk, I need you. Not that you owe me anything or whatever, but… We’re in all of this together. Everything. Including what just happened.

“Together… Right. I guess without me, you’d still be all the way dead.”

Exactly.

“And I want you around, Chara.”

If Chara had a face to feel heat up, they were confident that’s what they’d be feeling. They brushed it off with aggression.

It’s mutual, you weird little crybaby. They pressed their hand against the mirror again and it gave way. In reality, Frisk’s left hand shifted to grip their other wrist and pull their hands out of the dust. Chara dropped Frisk’s right hand in their lap and placed the left on top of it.

“Together?”

Together.

Frisk wound back time to a save they had made that morning. Toriel came out of the house a few moments later to go get ingredients for that night’s meal.

“Oh! My child, I thought you had already gone out to play. Did someone hurt you?” Her expression soured.

Frisk shook their head and scurried up to Toriel to hug her tightly. “Just wanted to see you off. I’m going to go inside and get my crayons so I can draw.”

Toriel made a noise of surprise when Frisk clung onto her, but she quickly relaxed and wrapped her arms around them. “Are you not just the sweetest thing… Be good while I am away, won’t you? I will only be a short while.”

Frisk tensed up. ‘ Be good, won’t you?’ Chara could hear it. They knew Frisk could, too.

*She’s alive.

Frisk took a small breath and pulled back from the hug. They nodded up at Toriel. “See you, Mom. Love you!”

Toriel smiled and placed a paw on Frisk’s head. “Oh? I love you, too, my child.” After a few minutes of fussing over Frisk, she hurried away to get her groceries. This time, so that neither Toriel nor Frisk would have to be hurt, Frisk wrote a goodbye note (with spelling help from Chara) and left it in the kitchen on the fridge: 

I have to go now, Mom. Sorry. I love you, but I can’t stay in the Ruins. I want to move forward. I originally came here because I couldn’t do that, but being with you has given me the strength. I’ll be good and I won’t let Asgore take my soul.

Lots of love,

Frisk

Frisk insisted that Chara add a drawing to the bottom, so they caved. It was a small drawing of Toriel and Frisk. The eyes were colored the perfect shade of brown gold, but Frisk grabbed a red crayon once Chara was finished and colored over one of the eyes. ‘From both of us,’ they said.

After leaving the note, they went into the basement and stood before the door. Frisk began to shake, but their left hand firmly grasped their right.

*She’s alive. You want to live.

Frisk nodded and took a shuddering breath. “A one-way exit, right? We can’t come back?”

Right. Chara hadn’t been saying much since their most recent time jump. They couldn’t stop thinking about the feeling they had gotten when Toriel died. The elation, the hunger for more… Was that just how they were? Completely fucked up? 

“Chara?”

What.

“Together, right?”

Chara faltered. Did Frisk really not mind having a fucked up dead kid in their head? Even after what happened? They really wanted to be together? Chara wanted to tell them off, but despite themselves, they felt comforted by Frisk’s sentimentality. Yeah. Together.
Each of them in control of one hand, they pushed at the massive doors and they opened. Together, they stepped through to the other side.

There, in the middle of the walkway, was that damn flower. Flowey. Flowey the Flower. Dumb flower with a dumb voice and a dumb name that had tried to kill Frisk when they first got here. Chara wasn’t sure how to tell Frisk this, but if they ended up killing this guy, Chara sincerely doubted they’d feel like bothering to go back. Bit too soon after the Toriel thing to say that, though.

“Um… Flowey, right?” Frisk was already scrambling to do damage control, to find the words that would stop this flower from wanting them dead. Chara didn’t see it working.

“Clever. Verrrryyy clever.”

Frisk tilted their head and opened their mouth to ask a question. 

“You think you’re really smart, don’t you? In this world, it’s kill or be killed. So you were able to play by your own rules. You spared the life of a single person. Hee hee hee…”

Frisk was shaking again. Chara gripped their hand and slowly eased into control for them. Chara wasn’t scared. They’d glare down this giggling freak. They felt Frisk’s body stop shaking as they allowed Chara to be the one standing in it.

“Don’t act so cocky. I know what you did. You murdered her. And then you went back, because you regretted it.” Chara snarled and stepped forward, brandishing the stick. Did this guy wanna say that a bit closer to them and the business end of this damn twig? Frisk exerted their control and made Chara stop in their tracks. 

Wait, their voice murmured in Chara’s ear. It’s not like he’s wrong…

“Yeah, but—” Clearly thinking they were talking to him, the flower started laughing.

“Ha ha ha ha! You naive idiot. Do you think you’re the only one with that power? The power to reshape the world… purely by your own determination. The ability to play God! The ability to ‘SAVE.’” 

Chara’s stomach dropped. It sounded too similar to how they had felt when they first learned about what Frisk could do. Gleeful delight at god-like power. Their right hand gave their left a squeeze. Frisk didn’t say anything and the flower continued. 

“I thought I was the only one with that power. But… I can’t SAVE anymore. Apparently YOUR desires for this world override MINE. Well well. Enjoy that power while you can. I’ll be watching.” The flower let out an ear-piercing cackle and vanished into the ground.

Chara stood there in Frisk’s body, uneasy and silent.

He remembers…?

“Guess so.”

He used to…

“Guess so.”

Chara?

“Yeah?”

… I’m scared.

Chara would be lying if they said they weren’t freaked out, too, but… When they thought of Frisk’s hand shaking under theirs and the way their voice broke against Toriel and even just that quiet admission of fear, Chara couldn’t help but want to help them feel safe. “I’ve got you, Frisk. We’re together, right? Two sources of determination are better than one, so… We’ll be okay no matter what.”

Frisk was quiet for just enough beats that Chara wondered if they had said the wrong things, but then… Thank you. 

Chara grinned. It didn’t feel the same as when Frisk used this face to smile, but hopefully it was even half as comforting. “Of course. It’s just the truth.”

Chara?

“Yeah?”

Can I stay in here for a bit? I feel so tired.

Guess killing your mom and then getting confronted about it by a flower that almost killed you was pretty stressful. The body did feel a little heavy. Chara was strong enough to carry it. “Yeah. Take it easy.”

Chara took the first few steps out of the Ruins out into the snow, flinching only a little when the huge doors slammed shut behind them.