Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Atsumu was staring at something on the wall across from him. It looked like a word, but he couldn’t read it. He wondered if it was because he was a little too far away to read it, or if it was illegible no matter how close you were.

“Welcome back Mr Miya, how about you tell us what happened?” his boss asked. His eyebrows were drawn together and his voice had an almost solemn tone to it. It was strange seeing him like this — and even stranger being on this side of the table. He was a detective himself so usually he did the interrogating. Today the roles were reversed and Atsumu felt uncomfortable.

“Yeah, sure. It’s a pretty funny story actually,” he said with a chipper tone that felt fake to him, but he hoped the man sitting opposite him wouldn’t notice.

Currently, nothing was funny to Atsumu, but he needed Inspector Iwaizumi to believe that nothing was wrong with him while everything felt wrong.

“You were supposed to collect Kageyama Tobio, our suspect, and bring him here. Instead you went missing for three days and a murder has taken place. I don’t see how that’s funny.”

“I promise you, when I tell you the story you’ll laugh.” Atsumu finally made eye-contact with him, after still being unable to figure out the word that might be written on the wall.

“Well go ahead,” Inspector Iwaizumi sighed, “we are all very curious.”

Atsumu knew he had to appear unaffected, he could do this.

“All right,” he said. “I was driving across the bridge when I saw a car pulled over. Three people were standing beside it. One had a gun. The moment I got out...” His voice began to crack, like ice under too much weight. The weight was grief.

Focus.

“When I got out of the car, Kageyama shot the person standing in front of him. I quickly drew my gun and shot Kageyama while he was holding the gun to the other person's head. That’s what happened.”

He wasn’t lying to the inspector, but he was most certainly avoiding something. He couldn’t tell him the person Kageyama had shot was his brother. Iwaizumi would bench him for sure. He needed to catch Kageyama. For Osamu. Tears started pricking in his eyes.

Focus.

“Okay, and where did the other person go?”

“Everywhere.”

“What do you mean everywhere?”

“Exactly what I said. Right after I shot the suspect, the other person literally went everywhere. A bomb exploded. The woman was blown to pieces.” Atsumu made a sound effect and gestured with his hands. “I vaguely remember her arm flying somewhere. Her intestines too. I think I recognized a liver in the mess — it looked like spaghetti with too much tomato sauce, but I couldn’t be sure. I didn’t exactly pay attention in biology class. Oh, and I saw one of her eyes. It was dangling with some tendons still attached, and—”

Atsumu paused. Why was he even describing her like this? He reminded himself it was just to distract his boss with useless details. Anything to distract himself from what had actually happened.

Iwaizumi cut him off. “Okay, Mr. Miya, that’ll suffice.” He went quiet, wearing a thoughtful look. “Now I’m wondering what you find so humorous about that situation.”

“Oh no, that was not the funny part. It was what happened a couple minutes after that. You see, her bag, what was left of it, had flown a bit closer to me and all of the sudden her phone in her bag started ringing. I lifted the pieces of her bag and saw it was a Nokia–"

“If this is some way of you trying to be funny you should seriously consider the gravity of the situation y–" He looked angry.

“No it’s not. Although I was surprised the phone had survived, the person calling was more surprising to me.”

“Okay, who was it then?”

“The person watching this interrogation behind the glass,” Atsumu said, looking at the big window of blinded glass. “Detective Tsukishima Kei.”

“What? Okay, I don’t know how you know he’s–" Iwaizumi’s face was priceless.

“Fun fact: he was saved as ‘Tsukishima K.’ on her phone like some kind of criminal, quite odd don’t you think? Now what was surprising to me is that he was in contact with the victim and that wasn’t–“

“Stop with this nonsense right now it–”

“...everything. I know what you’re thinking ‘does this ever stop?’” he said flippantly. Atsumu turned himself directly to the glass. “Hey Tsukishima, you know what else I found in her bag? Three other phones. Just thought you’d like–“

“Hey stop it!”

“...to know that. It helps knowing you’re not alone," he said feigning sympathy. “I mean there were at least three other people.” Atsumu stood up from the chair and walked towards the glass wall.

“Agent, sit down right now!”

Atsumu looked at the darkened glass and said: “You got played dude. Maybe we should switch places, Inspector Iwaizumi.” He then turned to Iwaizumi. “I think he’s the one you should interrogate,” Atsumu said, while pointing at what he hoped was Detective Tsukishima. The glass was blinded on one side, so Atsumu knew he’d most likely pointed at the wall, but he liked to be dramatic okay.

“Mr Miya, that is enough,” Iwaizumi said, trying to contain his anger, but quite obviously failing to do so.

“Well if that was all, I shall be going now.” He waved at Detective Tsukishima behind the one way glass and walked towards the door. “Sorry about the suspect, but I vaguely recall him not being a very nice man. At least according to his criminal record. To be honest I don’t think anyone will miss him.”

“Wait,” he called with a serious look on his face. Iwaizumi was done with his playfulness, or maybe he’d never been on board with it – that was more likely. “Sit back down, that wasn’t everything.”

He waited until Atsumu was seated and continued.

“I want to know what happened in the next couple days. The doctor told us your injuries were quite bad and that you’d probably taken more than a few punches. Could you tell me more about that?”

If he was being honest, Atsumu didn’t know how he got those injuries either. Maybe he’d suffered a head injury that had caused him to forget everything? He does have a mild headache… there was something else. Something wasn’t adding up. Atsumu had killed the suspect and it didn’t seem like Inspector Iwaizumi wanted to know more about that.

“Hold on, if I walk out of that door, will you just let me go? No further questioning?”

“Yes, we would. We have no reason to keep you here,” he replied, shrugging his shoulders.

“Why? I murdered someone. I’d say that’s plenty of reason. I mean, I know he was the suspect of quite a serious case with murders and assaults and all that, but still the paperwork is going to be a nightmare.”

“Well you see, Mr Miya, you didn’t murder anyone. The suspect you were talking about is still alive.”

No, that’s not possible. He was pretty sure he’d shot him straight through his head, but he asked anyway. “In the hospital I presume then? In a coma?”

“No, he’s fine. No bullet wound. There’s not a scratch on him. At least if we’re talking about the same person, he was the last one to leave the bridge.” He was silent for a second and then added. “There wasn’t even a woman there. No one got blown up. Everyone got off the bridge in time.”

“In time?” Atsumu asked, confused.

“Yes, before it collapsed.”

And what? He’s losing his mind, that's the only explanation.

Iwaizumi continued. “They didn’t find any bodies in the water. Not even a car.”

“Not even a Nokia?” he tried.

The Inspector looked at him clearly unamused. “Mr Miya, you didn’t kill the suspect. He is still on the run. The only reason we asked you here today was because your car's GPS caught you close to the bridge before it collapsed. It was the first place you resurfaced after you’d gone missing for a while. We hoped you had seen something.”

“Wait what? You just said someone had been murdered.”

“Yes, someone was murdered a couple blocks away from the bridge. The murder happened a little after the bridge collapsed. The camera’s saw you walking near the scene of the crime.”

“Why aren’t I a suspect then?”

“Because we already found the perpetrator.” Atsumu felt relieved. At least he wasn’t accused of a murder he didn’t commit.

“Okay… so why do you need me then?”

“Because we hoped you’d seen anything, so you could testify against him.”

“Oh well in that case, I revoke my statement. I didn’t see anything. No murders, nothing.” Atsumu had never backtracked so fast. He just knew he had to get out of there right now. “Good luck figuring everything out. I withdraw myself from this case.”

He stood up and hastily walked towards the door.

“Mr Miya," the inspector called again.

“Yes, what is it now?” Now Atsumu was the one done with it all. He wanted to go home, cry and probably have a panic attack or two. His brother is dead. And somehow the person that did it was still alive.

Focus. He’ll be home soon.

“I just want to tell you to take it easy on the psychedelic drugs next time. And I’ll schedule you an appointment with our doctor to test you for drugs. If those come back negative, we might have to schedule you for a psychological evaluation. I need my team to be in perfect condition. I know this job can weigh on the mind, hopefully it hasn’t on yours.” He had an unreadable look on his face.

Atsumu calmly closed the door behind him. He, however, didn’t feel the slightest bit calm. Was he going crazy? He knew he hadn’t taken any drugs, at least not yesterday. He’d been there when she’d been blown to pieces. Atsumu had shot Kageyama, he was so sure of it.

The psychiatrist unfortunately declared him unfit for work and signed him up for therapy. The therapist would have to clear him for work, otherwise he would not be allowed to return. That had been one of Iwaizumi’s conditions.

Since Atsumu never went to therapy, too busy chasing down every piece of information he could gather on Kageyama Tobio, he got sacked by the police.

That’s how his career ended: not with a gunshot, but questions no one could answer.

Chapter Text

Atsumu returned to the land of the living after a very disorientating dream. His sheets were twisted all around him, almost trapping him – actually they probably had trapped him, but now that he was awake and more coherent, he was able to free himself from them.

The lamp, usually standing on his bedside table, had fallen to the floor, along with his pillow. Honestly, Atsumu considered it a miracle he hadn’t ended up there as well.

Lately, the dreams had been getting worse. He woke up like this almost every day. The psychiatrist would’ve called it unresolved trauma; his best friend, Suna Rintarou, would say he just needs to get laid more to burn off the excess energy; Atsumu thinks it’s just another inconvenience life decided to throw at him.

Deep down he knows that the psychiatrist is probably the one who’s right here.

After getting fired from the police Atsumu had taken on a lot of different jobs, some, admittedly, a bit questionable. Never long term jobs, but they paid enough for the cozy apartment he has now. Atsumu recently moved in, because he’d had to move out of his old one under less than optimal circumstances. Let’s just say one of the more questionable jobs had gone wrong and he had to go off the grid. It hadn’t even been the first time, you’d think he’d have learned from the previous three times. He obviously hadn’t.

While walking to the kitchen, Atsumu stopped by the wooden cupboard in the living room to check on Rascal, his hamster. The cage was decked out with tunnels, bridges, a wheel (mostly active at night, hence Rascal’s nightly banishment to the living room), and fresh cucumber slices. Atsumu liked to take good care of him.

Their bond had started in chaos. Rascal had first appeared as a grey blur darting into Atsumu’s moving boxes after a rushed apartment change. Mistaking him for a rat, Atsumu had spent days chasing him through the apartment, trapping himself more often than the rodent thanks to his still-clumsy pressure barrier powers. Eventually, a trail of Cheerios had lured the intruder into an empty cage.

To Atsumu’s surprise, it wasn’t a rat but a chubby little hamster with shiny black eyes — a rascal, for sure, but lovable. He’d never bothered closing the cage. Rascal had just… stayed.

He and Rascal had been through a lot together. Mostly vet visits, because the little idiot either threw himself into a full-blown cage match and bled all over the hay, or merely breathed wrong and nearly died. There was no in-between.

Rascal had become an anchor in the chaos of Atsumu’s life. A small distraction from a world that had taken far too much from him.

Atsumu has a pressure barrier power which basically meant he could manipulate the air around him. He could trap someone or something, like he’d done with Rascal, or push things away to protect himself.

A lot of people had a power nowadays, they were called Wielders. Their powers were usually weak – being able to blow out birthday candles with a small gust of wind, the ability to create a small reading light or being able to chit-chat with a couple of pigeons. If you had a strong power, you could be perceived as a threat and that was unfavorable. Atsumu had only heard whispers about it, but enough people had started disappearing for him to know that he had to act as innocuous as possible.

That wasn’t very hard, since an invisible shield power isn’t the most spectacular power one could have – it wasn’t like a fire or speed one. Still, during his time as a detective he’d been careful to not draw any attention to his powers. As far as anyone knew, the most he could do was shield himself from some raindrops. That was how it was stated in the records at least. He was classified as a “LOW”. Which meant he was a low level threat.

And if Atsumu was being honest, he’d started to believe that too, because even with using his powers, he still hadn’t been able to catch the grey blur.

A change of tactics had been needed. He’d known the rodent liked his cheerios, after he’d kept finding little nimbled on pieces of his breakfast on the floor. The plan had been to lure him into the cage with the cheerios and then open it outside. Atsumu had spent hours closely watching that cage, but the animal never returned. Eventually, he’d forgotten all about it, until one day the food had been gone. The day after that, he’d put food in the cage again. The same thing had happened, but this time he’d caught more than the usual glimpse of it.

He was pleasantly surprised that the presumed rat was in fact a hamster.

From that point on he’d put food in the cage every day. And to make the hamsters cage more homely, he’d put in all the extra attributes mentioned earlier. The hamster had started to spend more and more time in the cage, but Atsumu never closed it. The hamster was free to go if he wanted to, but he never did. An unbreakable bond had been formed between him and the rodent. The cute twinkling black eyes made him into a lovable rascal.

And so the name, Rascal, had been born.

The chase after Rascal had been a nice distraction from reality. Osamu was gone. His twin brother had been murdered. The killer was still out there and the authorities weren’t even looking for one. They’d declared him missing, because his body hadn’t been found and there was no reason for them to believe Osamu had been killed. His car had also been gone so to them he was just someone running from his old life. That's what they’d told Atsumu and his parents at the time.

Apparently, it hadn’t been enough that Atsumu told them he’d seen his brother get killed. In their defence, Atsumu hadn’t been very stable at the time, but could you really blame him? He’d seen his twin brother get murdered, that’s not something you see happening and just move on from like. Not remembering the days that followed the murder, hadn’t done his credibility well either.

The fact that the police was severely understaffed, might’ve also had something to do with the reason a missing person wasn’t on the top of their priority list.

Even his parents hadn’t believed him and had tried to get him admitted to a mental hospital. It had complicated the already complicated relationship he had with his parents even more. He barely spoke to them nowadays.

Losing Osamu had felt like losing a part of himself, a part of his identity. The person who’d gone through the same stages of his life the same speed Atsumu had. Life had moved on so fast, but he’d felt like he was standing still without him, because Osamu’s life stood still and he’d never go through the stages of life Atsumu would have to go through – alone.

After a year of no new leads, Atsumu had come to realize that he might not catch the killer. Kageyama might’ve fled to some tropical island where no one would ever find him, or he might just be dead, despite what Inspector Iwaizumi had said.

A dozen interventions of best friend later – which mostly consisted of Rintarou dragging him out of his bed – he’d slowly started to feel more like himself again.

It was now another year later and Atsumu was doing okay, if he said so himself. Not great, but okay. He doesn’t think he’ll ever be great again, but he’ll take okay for now.

Before putting on his coat, he moved Rascals cage to his bedroom. He knew Rascal liked to be in his bedroom more, because it was sunnier than on top of the cupboard in the living room, but he was forced to put him in the living room at night because of how noisy Rascal liked to be.

He took a deep breath and locked his door.

The way home had not yet become a routine, but after taking a few wrong turns, he did end up on the right road. Small miracles.

Today’s case had been one of the classics for a private detective. The wife had hired him, because she suspected her husband had an affair. Of course, instead of confronting her husband about it, she hired a private detective. Because why would people who are married ‘until death do us part’ ever communicate? But he wasn’t complaining, it paid well.

It was the end of December and even though they hadn’t had a white Christmas, it looked like it was going to be a very snowy New Year. Atsumu hurried through the snow, cursing his socks getting wet yet again. He should’ve known the thin fabric from his All Stars wouldn’t stop the snow from getting his socks wet.

As soon as Atsumu entered his house, he knew something was wrong (and it wasn’t that his socks were wet, although that made Atsumu feel all sorts of wrong). It was too warm. He was sure he hadn’t left the heating on when he’d left his house this morning.

Maybe it broke again? His heating was kind of prone to break down at the most inconvenient of times. It had happened, what felt like a hundred times, before, but never this way. Why would the temperature suddenly be warmer? Maybe it decided to change tactics…

He decided he was just being paranoid. There probably was a perfectly normal explanation for this. He searched his brain for one, but all he could come up with was that Rascal had something to do with it. He was a pretty smart hamster after all, perhaps he’d thrown himself against the buttons.

Atsumu quickly walked towards his bedroom to check on Rascal, finding the hamster calmly munching on a piece of cucumber in his cage.

Deciding not to look at the gift's price tag, he poured himself a hot chocolate in the kitchen. It was the Holidays after all. Who was he kidding? He drinks that stuff every day.

With the steaming mug in his hand, he walked towards the light switch in the living room. But he never reached it, because a small click made him stop in his tracks.

Suddenly a small flame caught his eye. Next to it he could make out a pair of eyes illuminated by the flame.

“I turned your heater on, hope you don’t mind. It was freezing here when I got in,” a low voice said monotonously. The voice belonged to the person holding a lighter.

Atsumu dropped his mug.

The sound of the mug shattering was loud in the tense atmosphere in the room. It had been Atsumu’s favorite mug, but currently there were more pressing issues.

“Don’t even think about it,” the stranger said threateningly, while Atsumu reached for the light switch. The glimmer of a knife caught his eye.

“Wh- who are you?” Atsumu asked, playing the terrified civilian. “What do you want from me?” His hands were shaking, not out of fear, but from the adrenaline.

His mind was going a thousand miles an hour. His gun was in his bedroom and he doubted the man would give him a minute to grab it.

Maybe if he asked nicely?

Yeah no, distracting him was his best option. “I promise I only did d-drugs, like, once in high school and it was only ‘cause of–, only ‘cause a friend offered. Does he owe you money? I’ll pay you anything. Just don’t h-hurt me,” he rambled on, hoping to distract the unknown figure.

“Really drug money, that’s all you could come up with?” he said, judgingly. Atsumu couldn’t see his face, but he was sure the guy had raised his eyebrows mockingly, if the tone of his voice was anything to go by.

He eyed the hallway. If he sprinted, could he make it to the bedroom and back with his gun before the man reacted?

“Uhm– I, I’m sure there’s more. I run a red l-light every once in a while, b-but I always make sure there’s no cars coming, and–”

“You’ve done more than that. Stop playing innocent. I know who you are,” the stranger said, already sounding bored. He threw his lighter in the fireplace and slowly sat down in the chair directly across from where Atsumu was standing. “Now tell me, what do you know about VIS?”

The name sounded vaguely familiar to Atsumu, but he’d only heard rumors about them when he was still working for the police. Supposedly, it was a group of Wielders, rebels if you will, who were planning a coup d’état. From what he’d heard about it, it had sounded more like a cult than an organized rebellion.

Whatever they were now, Atsumu wasn’t really eager to talk about it to a stranger who might work for the government. While Atsumu obviously wasn’t involved with VIS, he’d done some other pretty shady stuff that might even be more incriminating for him.

And if that wasn’t enough, he’s a Wielder too. Maybe the government decided they wanted to check if he could still be considered a LOW, like Michelin Inspectors checking if a restaurant still deserves its stars.

Yeah, silence seemed like a good idea.

With the flames slowly spreading to the wood in the fireplace, Atsumu could see the stranger's face becoming clearer. And even though his face was becoming more visible, Atsumu saw nothing he recognized.

The man had neatly styled dark hair, which made him look even more serious. It almost gave him a military look, but he didn’t have the characteristic buzzcut. His mouth was covered by a black mask. Yet, somehow, to Atsumu it didn’t feel like the man wore it to conceal his identity. He wasn’t afraid to show Atsumu his face, if the unwavering eye-contact was anything to go by.

“How about you start talking,” the stranger said slowly and deliberately. “Now.”

“How about you leave your knife where it belongs,” Atsumu said nonchalantly. “In the kitchen. Come back without it next time, then we’ll talk.” He’d stopped acting like he was fearing for his life and returned the strangers stare with a neutral expression.

“You are not in any position to make demands.”

“Oh you want to play it like that? Well I am not talking to you like this, so it looks like you got yourself a problem there.”

The knife made a second appearance, this time while flying through the air. He’d seen it coming, but he’d thought the man had thrown it further away from him. Apparently his sidestepping had been too slow, because the knife nicked the side of his throat.

Dammit.

It didn’t really hurt that much, Atsumu felt it was only a small cut when he brought his hand to his neck, but it felt humiliating. Why hadn’t he thrown up a shield? Atsumu felt like he was in some kind of daze, an almost trance-like state, like he wasn’t really there. Dissociation?

Unfortunately, his careless sidestepping had led him to stepping on the broken mug on the floor. A shard had buried itself quite deep in his right foot. He was too distracted by the mysterious man in the room to direct his attention to his foot, but he could feel the blood seeping on the floor.

Fortunately his living room had tiles, instead of wooden floorboards like his bedroom that would’ve been a nightmare to clean.

Okay priorities, Atsumu thought, there is an armed man standing in front of you. Wait— armed again? Where the hell had the second knife come from? Atsumu scanned him, but the man was unreadable. Just how many weapons did he have hidden?

Atsumu shook his head, as if to shake off the haze he felt. The intimidating man had just startled him and made him lose focus; that wouldn’t happen again.

“Ready to talk now?” the man said with a gaze sharper than the knife he’d just thrown.

His eyes looked so cold that they resembled the lifeless eyes of a portrait painting. Atsumu was sure the eyes would follow him around the room, similar to how the soulless eyes of the painted knight had in his grandparents’ living room.

Atsumu stared back at him. Unsure whether his stare was as intimidating as the stranger’s or not. Probably not, since Atsumu heard a brief puff of air, almost like a short chuckle. Although it was entirely possible he’d imagined it, because nothing in the man’s stare had changed and the sound had been very brief.

“Don’t look so alarmed.” His voice had a slightly amused tone to it. “Have a seat.”

The pain in his foot was distracting him, therefore he reluctantly gave in and walked, as gracefully as he could, towards the chair – which wasn’t graceful at all, but Atsumu liked to pretend it had been. Atsumu planted himself in the chair opposite the man, while maintaining eye-contact with him.

For a moment they were both silent. Atsumu wasn’t about to break the silence, the man had invaded his home and had the guts to demand information. He had every right to be a little grumpy.

“Not so talkative anymore, are you sunshine? I didn’t cut your vocal cords, did I?” the man commented sarcastically.

“Fuck off, I’m gonna cut yours if you call me that one more time,” Atsumu said, still trying to shake his stupor. The hot and cold sensation left Atsumu feeling sick and disoriented.

“With what knife? As far as I’m concerned you brought nothing to this knife fight. I know you are prone to be a little lazy, but this is just careless.” His eyebrows lifted mockingly.

Atsumu was immediately rubbed the wrong way by the condescending tone in the man's voice.

“Don’t pretend you know a single thing about me. Do you really expect me to walk around carrying an arsenal? Even at home?” Atsumu asked incredulously. “I bet you do, don’t ya? You seem like the person to shower with your Beretta. I don’t think it’s stupid of me to not want to accidentally shoot my dick.”

“Currently, you’ve got nothing to protect yourself with,” the man stated. “I do think that’s very stupid.”

It frustrated him that the stranger didn’t seem to be even a little angry or worked up. Atsumu knew his own glare hadn’t left his face the entire time they had been speaking, which wasn’t that long, but still it annoyed him that the stranger probably knew he was getting to Atsumu.

“I bet you walk around wearing protection all the time,” Atsumu retorted with a suggestive tone. “You should become the face of a campaign to promote condom use.”

Maybe this would break the cold mask that was supposed to be a person’s face. Was he even human? Atsumu had seen him blink, but still, the guy had all the warmth of a frozen bag of peas.

Could robots throw knives?, was probably the better question.

It seemed like the man (or robot?) wasn’t taking the bait, because he stayed quiet after Atsumu’s comment.

“Okay, well to come back to your wrong assumption," Atsumu said while lifting his hand to my foot. He grabbed the shard with his thumb and forefinger and pulled it out of his foot, while trying not to wince. But dammit that hurt.

All of the sudden it felt like the stabbing pain had woken him up.

One word echoed through his mind.

Empath.

The man was a psychic. It wasn’t Atsumu’s fault he hadn’t been able to focus well. This was definitely not the first time Atsumu had encountered a psychic, but he had forgotten how disorientating they could be.

He was confusing him on purpose. But why? What were his motives? Is he a serial killer who likes his victims to be defenseless? Atsumu dismissed the thought: he wouldn’t have missed with the knife then.

A moment later Atsumu felt himself panic. Could he hear his thoughts? When he focused his gaze on the man's face again, nothing had seemed to change, he only held unwavering eye-contact with the blonde. Confidently.

Then all of the sudden he raised his eyebrows.

Atsumu’s blood ran cold. What—

“Are you gonna tell me about my wrong assumption, or…” he said with a measured tone.

“Uhm–I, yes,” Atsumu stuttered. The guy really needed to stop being so intimidating, maybe that was part of his powers too. “It looks as though I did bring something sharp to the knife fight after all,” Atsumu said while holding the shard.

It was shiny with his blood. Or was it hot chocolate? He couldn’t really see, since the cryptic man was so insistent on keeping it dark in here like some kind of bat. To be fair, Atsumu looked somewhat of a psychopath himself while still dangling the dripping shard tauntingly — maybe the guy needed the darkness to use his powers better.

From what Atsumu had heard, mind manipulation was complicated. One wrong step and you lost your grip on reality—trapped in other people’s minds.
The stranger didn’t seem like he’d lost touch. He was grounded. Calm. Too calm.

Good for him, Atsumu thought bitterly. Not that he cared.

He would like the intruder to leave, because it had also been a long day for him. He longed to lay down for a moment and have some quality time with Rascal. Atsumu really needed to update him on everything that had happened.

At the same time Atsumu was curious.

“Very creative," he deadpanned, “I do hope you don’t intend to use that.”

“Really?” Atsumu faked surprise with wide-eyed eyes. “And here I thought everyone’s dream was to get stabbed by a mug that says 'PROUD CAT MOM'.”

“You have a cat? Huh, that wasn’t in your file.”

It was like the guy was throwing bread crumbs of information to him and it got on the blonde’s nerves. Two can play this game. He might have some mind manipulation power, but Atsumu wasn’t stupid.

“You have a file on me?” Atsumu asked, but his voice cracked halfway through. Great. Just what he needed to look more weak.

“I have a file on everyone if they’re an assignment. Don’t think you’re special or anything.”

“I’m your assignment? Could you make it any more creepy?” Atsumu asked, rolling his eyes. “I mean you already nailed it with the single flame in the dark and the intimidation tactics. No need to play up the creepiness.”

“Stop avoiding my questions. I’m aware you have a history with Kageyama Tobio.” The name caused Atsumu to grip the shard he was still holding tighter. “Why don’t you tell me more about that?” The man leaned forward a bit, dropping his laid-back attitude for a more attentive one.

Atsumu stayed silent. It was none of his business, he thought angrily to himself.

“I read in your file you’ve had some sort of disagreement with him.”

Disagreement? That was putting it lightly for sure.

“Your psychiatrist notes stated that you had likely hallucinated due to PTSD from long term exposure to violence.”

Would murdering the man right now be first or second degree murder? He didn’t have a well-considered plan, but he sure as hell was planning.

So far his plan was: shard and neck.

How far in advance would it have to be planned for it to be first degree murder? Every time the man opened his mouth, it became more likely that Atsumu would find out.

Suddenly the man’s tone of voice changed to a deceptively soft one. “You lost your job, your credibility. Nobody believed what you’d seen.” The man tilted his head sideways, almost sympathetically and it felt so fake to Atsumu that he mentally gagged.

A mixture of sadness, anger and shame, made Atsumu unable to look at him any longer. The man knew what these words were doing to him, that’s what made this even worse. What was he trying to get out of this?

“You must feel so alone all the time, Atsumu.”

Atsumu hated that he was right. There was a slight pressure in his skull; it reminded him that the man was somehow still prodding in his mind. It didn’t necessarily hurt, but it made Atsumu feel deeply uncomfortable.

“You’ve been living like a ghost since your brother died. Even after two whole years, it still hurts the same. I can feel how much you miss him. How much you yearn to tell him everything that has been going on in your life. How you wish he could give you advice.”

His syrupy tone made Atsumu sick.

“Dead people can’t give advice anymore, Atsumu, they can only teach you just how much it hurts when they’re not around anymore.”

The man was looking right through Atsumu. It made him feel so vulnerable, so naked. He didn’t think he could ever really hate a certain power, maybe the person, but not the power. And yet, right now he hated the psychic power the man had with his whole being. Or maybe he just hated him.

“The saddest part about it all is, that it wasn’t your brother that wanted to teach you that lesson, of course, he’d never hurt you— it was Kageyama Tobio. It’ll haunt you forever that he’s still out there.”

The man took in a breath as if to prepare himself for the next thing he was going to say.

“Your grief won’t ever go away, you know that.”

Hearing that made Astumu feel as if the shard he was desperately clutching, had buried itself right in his chest. He felt overwhelmed by the sadness and anger that was overpowering him. Was the man enjoying this? Hurting him like that? The man was amplifying the emotions he was already feeling. Fucking sadist.

“Aren’t you angry that he was taken from you by that man? Don’t you want vengeance?” The man continued speaking and Atsumu was barely holding on. He gripped the shard tighter and tighter, trying to ignore his emotions. His palm had started to bleed.

Fortunately, the pain was grounding him again.

The man was just trying to get under his skin and he should let it bother him. However, the man wasn’t just using words to get under his skin, it was as if additional anger was being pushed into Atsumu. And Atsumu felt like he was going to explode.

“Don’t you think you owe that to your brother? What was his name again?”

The man pretended to think for a moment.

“Osamu. But you liked to call him Samu, didn’t you?”

An invisible force pushed him back in his chair. For a second the chair stood on two legs, before dropping back on its original four.

The man’s face didn’t twitch with surprise. Instead, he wore a slow, smug smile. Damn Empaths.

Atsumu immediately regretted using his powers. He’d fallen for the classic trick of using emotions to access powers.

“There we go, a secret for a secret. You know about mine, I now know about yours.”

So he did know Atsumu knew about his powers. That wasn’t comforting whatsoever.

Atsumu refused to show it bothered him and raised his eyebrows. “That wasn’t in my file?”

“It speaks. I was beginning to think you’d accidentally cut your own vocal cords with that lovely shard.”

Atsumu narrowed his eyes at him.

“But, no it was, I just wanted to see for myself,” he explained. “See that’s how you answer a question. Care to do the same?” he added provocatively.

He hoped the man was reading his mind now, because he was thinking of plenty of creative insults for him.

“I don’t have a cat,” Atsumu said, answering his earlier question.

Just because his thoughts were apparently on the table, didn’t mean the man was entitled to any actual answers from him.

After giving him a look that said really?, he stood from his chair. Slowly, with measured steps, the stranger approached him. “Okay enough talking. Since you aren’t telling me anything about your involvement with VIS, you’re coming with me,” he said definitively.

He was not in what Atsumu considered his personal space, but he was too close and the blonde felt defenseless sitting down like that.

“What? No.” Atsumu stood, hoping it’d make him look stronger. Unfortunately, it only made him feel dizzy. He hadn’t lost that much blood… had he?

“Well you don’t exactly have a choice, sunshine, let’s go,” he said, tilting his head towards the door.

“What do you mean I don’t have a choice? I might not be employed anymore, but I am still a highly skilled detective. Besides you literally just saw I’m a Wielder.”

“You just tipped my chair back a bit, that doesn’t exactly chill my bones,” he commented, condescendingly. “We’ll teach you more than that. After we know we can trust you, of course.”

“Who is “we”?” Atsumu really started to feel unwell now. It definitely felt different than blood loss, but he couldn’t pinpoint exactly what was wrong.

The man sighed, but didn’t answer his question, still as secretive as ever. It really appeared to be a theme here. Perhaps that was another character trait Atsumu could add to the mental list he had of the man: secretive, confident, manipulating, sadistic, …

“Stop asking questions and come with me.”

“No.” Atsumu immediately shot back. Though the man didn’t really give off serial killery vibes, you could never be too careful. Atsumu was curious, but not that curious. He feared that curiosity would actually kill the cat in this case, him being the cat.

“Alright, have it your way,” he said dismissively.

“Are you going to fight me?” Atsumu could feel his muscles tensing, his breathing picking up.

With all that build up anger he was feeling, he was so ready for a fight. He could finally crack open that skull, just like the man had done with his mind to Atsumu. Atsumu wouldn’t even use a blunt object or a knife, his bare hands seemed like the best way to do it. He didn’t know how much force it’d take, or if he was even that strong, but he would most certainly try.

“I won’t have to.”

Atsumu watched the man confused. For once the man wasn’t watching Atsumu, but instead he was looking at the wall to Atsumu’s right. Curiously, Astumu followed his gaze.

He saw nothing special, just his normal burgundy colored wall.

“Why not? You got your buddies with you or somethin’, too scared to fight me by yourself?” Atsumu taunted.

The man didn’t answer—just locked eyes again, then glanced at the wall. Not casually. With intent. Atsumu’s stomach dropped. Was someone else here? Atsumu glanced behind him again just to be sure.

Since the lighting from the fireplace hadn’t been that good he hadn’t seen it before, but the moment he saw the handle of the knife sticking in the wall, it clicked

I won’t have to.

Atsumu felt his legs get weaker and his balance felt a bit off.

“The knife–," Atsumu said, as realization dawned on him, “...you poisoned me.”

“It’s just a mild sedative, don’t be so dramatic," the man sighed.

“Why?”

“Well, I knew you wouldn’t talk, so I have to bring you in. Sedating you is decidedly less taxing on my mental state, than having to listen to you blabbering about your mugs and the red lights you run.”

“Who do you work for?” Atsumu questioned, slurring a bit in his speech.

“You should probably sit down.”

Atsumu glared at the man and stubbornly locked his knees.

“Whatever it’s your concussion.”

“Fuck you,” Atsumu spat out through clenched teeth.

He was trying to tense his muscles in order to remain standing and conscious, but he could feel it was a battle he was losing rapidly.

His phone! If he could just—

Atsumu’s legs gave out and he was barely able to prevent himself face planting with the floor. His legs felt paralyzed and his arms were slowly starting to give out too. A sensation, almost flame like, spread through his quickly paralyzing body. Luckily it hadn’t been real flames, like the ones in the fireplace.

Oh no, the fireplace! What if his hamster accidentally wandered too close?

“No, no you can’t. The fireplace–" The world was suddenly turning faster than it was supposed to. “Don’t leave it on when we go, it’s-" The man had to listen to him! “I–, Rascal– he… Put it out, please.”

For whatever reason — maybe it was because he wanted his lighter back, even though it’s probably ruined by now, or maybe because he could actually feel Atsumu’s desperation — the man listened.

Suddenly it was dark.

Either the flames had gone out or Atsumu’s eyes had closed, he wasn’t sure.

Chapter Text

He fought to escape the fog dragging him deeper into sleep. Staying down felt better, but the sharp twist in his neck pulled him back to the waking world.

Atsumu didn’t immediately realize that something was wrong, not until he noticed just how uncomfortable he actually felt. The crick in his neck wasn’t the only pain. His shoulders ached, and something hard pressed into his back. His head was pounding.

Opening his eyes turned out to be harder than expected. After a few tries — mostly just him raising his eyebrows (which, as he quickly realized, wasn’t how you opened your eyes) — he finally managed.

The room was dim, bathed in an eerie orange glow that seeped from the corners and traced the edges where the floor met the wall. The soft light almost made the room feel inviting. If the bare walls and the fact he was tied to the only chair didn’t ruin the illusion.

No, Atsumu didn’t feel comforted at all.

A single metal door was behind him—sturdy, but maybe breakable with a force field. He reached deep for the warm, tingly spark in his chest. Nothing. The drug must have weakened him.

His eyes widened. Panic clawed its way through his chest.

He’d been kidnapped. Shit.

He should’ve probably realized that sooner, considering he’d woken up tied to a chair and his love life wasn’t that exciting – more like none-existent, as Rintarou never failed to remind him.

The door burst open and Atsumu quickly turned his head around. A blonde woman marched in with a furious and determined look on her face. He jerked his hands up, ready to fight — then remembered the zip ties binding him.

The woman immediately held a knife to his throat. “So you’re their newest recruit. How many of us have you killed? How does it feel, carrying blood on your hands? Or maybe you’re proud of it. Nothing surprises me from monsters like you.”

“What–,” Atsumu uttered, befuddled. He wasn’t informed about this new way of greeting someone.

“You surprised we found out? VIS is so fucking predictable. A Wielder loses their job and is fucked in the head, let’s recruit them! Kageyama can always use more slaves. You realize that's all you are right? A slave to his insane twisted ideas,” she spat scornfully.

The metal was digging into his throat. Atsumu tried to throw her away with a force field, but nothing happened. It felt quiet, as if his power wasn’t even there. What have they done to him?

“That is enough,” someone said calmly. Atsumu peered at him from the corner of his eyes, keeping his head very still, because the knife still hadn’t moved from his throat. The man had short dark brown hair and brown eyes that held an intimidating gaze. “We still have to interrogate him. Sakusa said he wasn’t sure, you know that.”

“I don’t care. It’s written all over his face, he’s with them!”

“Haiba, please leave us.”

To Atsumu it seemed like they were having a discussion with just their eyes. A discussion the man apparently won as the knife disappeared from his throat.

“Fine,” she said exasperated, “as long as I get to kill him afterwards.”

She slammed the door shut.

Well that was comforting.

“You’ll have to excuse her, VIS has taken a lot of people she held very dearly. She can be a bit…,” he hesitated, “... temperamental.”

“You don’t say,” Atsumu deadpanned, while the man freed Atsumu’s hands from the chair.

Atsumu immediately wanted to jump up and run away from wherever he was being held, but he quickly realized he had no idea how big this building was and the fact that his ankles were still tied to the chair, was also a hindrance to say the least.

The man walked back towards the door and Atsumu heard a small beeping sound. With a rattling sound a hatch opened in front of Atsumu. Two chairs and a table slowly rose from the hatch. The dark haired man sat down on one of the chairs.

“I’m Sawamura Daichi. Nice to meet you, Mr Miya.” He smiled gently, the harshness in his eyes softening.

Atsumu didn’t really know what to say to that, since the man had introduced both of them and he didn’t really consider it nice to meet him. He’d been abducted from his home and was still tied to a chair.

“You’ve been out for a while, Sakusa promised me the drug he used wasn’t very strong, but I must say I started to doubt that about two hours ago.”

Atsumu wondered exactly how long he’d been unconscious for, but stayed silent, unsure of the other man’s motives.

When it became apparent to Sawamura Atsumu wasn’t going to say anything to that, he continued. “Before we start, we need to know if we can trust you. You’re going to drink this.” Sawamura set a small, clear vial on the table, the liquid inside shimmering faintly.

“I’m not drinking that.” Atsumu leaned back in his chair.

“It’s a liquid that’ll make it impossible for you to lie. There are some questions we need answers to before we can continue.”

Even if Sawamura had said the drink would summon a unicorn to carry him to the end of a rainbow, Atsumu still wouldn’t have touched it.

“Continue with what? And why don’t you just send in your mind reader if you want information from me?”

“You mean, Sakusa?” He laughed. “I know it can seem that way sometimes, but he can’t actually read your thoughts. Not exactly, I mean. He can read another person's emotions and since they’re quite closely tied to memories he can sometimes see flashes, but no actual thoughts. Though it is crazy how good he is at interpreting every tiny feeling someone has,” Sawamura said, sounding proud.

“How do I know you aren’t poisoning me? I mean, I just got poisoned with something that knocked me out and apparently makes it impossible for me to use my powers. I’m not just gonna take ya word for it.”

“We didn’t do anything to your powers, it's the room. It suppresses a Wielder’s power,” Sawamura explained.

“Great,” Atsumu commented.

He had never heard of a room being able to do that. He wondered if it was some kind of material or the lights that blocked his powers, but before he could ask Sawamura about it, the door opened again and this time the stranger from earlier entered the room.

“Hello Sakusa, I’m glad you could join us,” Sawamura said.

The stranger, Sakusa, walked in silently and took the empty chair. Atsumu’s eyes narrowed the moment he sat down.

T hat fucker.

His mask was still in place, but now the lighting was better so Atsumu could observe the man better. He had two moles on his forehead Atsumu hadn’t spotted earlier and his hair was black. Other than that, this lighting didn’t change his impression of the man – he was still an asshole, a pretty one maybe.

Sawamura slid the vial with the liquid closer to Atsumu. He ignored the movement and kept staring at Sakusa. Atsumu was determined to win whatever staredown they apparently had.

“Mr Miya, I wouldn’t like our partnership to start with animosity, but we will force you to drink it if you refuse.”

Suddenly Sakusa broke away from his gaze and Atsumu saw some kind of emotion he couldn’t decipher flash across his face. Sakusa adjusted his mask.

Atsumu looked back at Sawamura. “Fine,” he sighed, “but if I start telling you what I really think about that shirt you’re wearing– you better be ready for some really strong constructive feedback.”

To an outsider it might’ve seemed like he gave in very easily, but Atsumu knew it was the only way out. He knew they’d get him to ingest it one way or another and he wasn’t really eager to figure out just how creative they could get.

Atsumu picked up the vial, twisted off the cap, and drank all of it. The liquid tasted bitter.
Almost instantly, a strange warmth spread through his throat and chest — not pleasant. It felt like the guilt that came with lying, thick and heavy. The feeling settled heavily on his chest.

“What is your name?”

“Miya Atsumu,” he immediately answered. “Great question. You’re really fishing for the juicy gossip here.”

“I had to make sure you weren’t using a fake identity. Please stick to just answering the questions, Mr Miya.” Atsumu rolled his eyes as the man continued. “Are you currently working for Kageyama Tobio, or have you ever worked for him?”

“No, I am not working for him and I have never worked for him.” He felt angry for them suggesting that he would want anything to do with that vile man. “Nor do I plan to ever do that,” he added for good measure.

“What do you know about Kageyama Tobio ?”

“He was born December 22nd in 1996.” Sawamura’s gaze turned sharp again. Atsumu wasn’t looking forward to being reprimanded again like some rebellious teenager, so he decided to elaborate. “I know he’s a jerk that somehow managed to be in charge of a lot of people. When I was still with the police, Kageyama had been on the suspect list for a large drug smuggling operation.”

“What kind of drugs?”

“It’s called Butterfly, but that’s the only thing I know about it. I don’t know what it does and I only learned about it after getting fired from the police. I don’t think they even know about it.”

Sawamura nodded. “After you got fired from the police, what did you do?”

“I tried to hunt down Kageyama for some time, but I eventually had to give up. I now work as something similar to a private investigator.” He left out some things there, but he’d already given them more than he would’ve liked.

“Out of curiosity, if you were to find Kageyama now, what would you do?”

“I’d kill him,” he said without hesitation. It was probably not the socially acceptable answer, but it was the truth. It was probably the anger about even being asked that question, that caused him to add. “Slowly and very painfully. I’d make sure he won’t even see any of his life flash before his eyes, no memories. It’ll just be so much pain.”

There was a short pause in the conversation after that. Atsumu realized that he now not only had to worry about being killed, but also about being placed in a mental hospital. Although he felt like his urge to maim and murder Kageyama was not entirely unfounded.

“Okay.” Sawamura said it in a way that sounded like it had confirmed his suspicions.

Atsumu decided he respected the guy. He seemed like a person who didn’t judge too quickly – not assuming the worst of a person immediately.

“I believe you, but I need to ask more questions, because your mind could’ve been tampered with. In the interrogation report it was written that you’d disappeared for three days after the incident. And that you didn’t have any recollection of those days, is that true?”

“Yes,” Atsumu said and he wanted to stay quiet after that, but unfortunately the concoction forced him to add, “at that time I didn’t.”

Sawamura of course picked up on it. “Does that mean that you do know what happened now?” he enquired.

“Yes, the memories came back a couple months ago.”

For fucks sake, the drink didn’t just make it impossible for him to lie, but it also forced him to speak the truth. That’s got to violate some law or his right to remain silent or something.

“What hap–”

“Don’t,” Atsumu interrupted, “please don’t make me say it. As much as I enjoy trips down memory lane and laughing about the good old times and all that, this is not a trip I want to make.”

“We need to know every piece of information you have on Kageyama, Mr Miya. However insignificant it might seem to you, it could mean everything to us,” he explained. “Were you anywhere near Kageyama during those three days?”

Atsumu could tell Sawamura tried to listen to his request, carefully avoiding a broad question, instead only focussing on what he wanted to know. However, Atsumu knew no matter what he’d answer, Sawamura would want to know more. His answer would only raise more questions, questions Atsumu really didn’t want to answer.

Atsumu’s gaze wandered back to Sakusa. He hadn’t said a word the entire time. “Are you just here for moral support or something? Since you can’t use your creepy psychic shit here, your presence is kind of unnecessary, don’t you think?” he raised his eyebrows in question. “That is unless you’re gonna bring out the pom-poms any moment now to cheer on Sawamura.”

“Answer the question, Miya.” It was Sakusa saying it this time.

“Ouch. Am I only Atsumu when you’re trying to manipulate me? That hurts my feelings man,” he said while pouting.

“Would you prefer sunshine?”

Atsumu’s facial expression immediately changed to a stormy one. Before he could retort something along the lines of multiple curse words with insults, Sawamura reminded him to answer again.

His obvious attempt to divert the attention to a different topic had failed.

Atsumu sighed. “Fine. Yes, you could say I was near him.”

“In what way?” Atsumu decided he didn’t like Sawamura that much anymore.

Before he could think about avoiding the question, he’d already answered. “He’d kidnapped me, I was a prisoner.”

Sawamura frowned at that and Atsumu could tell there was some genuine sympathy on his face.

Sakusa was still expressionless as ever.

“Is there anything you can tell me about where you were held? The building, the people, anything?” Sawamura asked, still frowning.

It appeared Sakusa had decided to stick with his usual silence.

“I don’t know much, but I think I was in a cellar. It was dark and cold.” Atsumu looked away from them, staring at the wall just above Sakusa’s shoulder.

“Do you think Kageyama had someone do something to your memories?”

“I wouldn’t know if he had, now would I?” Atsumu commented. “But I don’t think he did.”

“Why do you think he didn’t?”

“Because I remember the rest of it very well. There aren’t any gaps in my memory.” Though I wish there were, is what he wanted to add.

“What do you remember?”

Atsumu clenched jaw and closed his eyes, fighting the urge to give an answer with everything he had. It made him feel so terrible his eyes started watering.

Sawamura asked another question. “Do you know what power Kageyama has as a Wielder?”

The awful feeling lifted off of him, that was an easy question, one he’d answer even without the concoction, and Atsumu felt grateful for it. “No, I don’t know which one exactly, but it’s rumored he has some kind of psychic ability, or something to do with fire. Either way he’s very powerful apparently.”

“Yes, we’ve heard something like that too,” Sawamura confirmed. “Look Miya, I’m gonna have to ask again, fighting the drink won’t help you. What happened during those three days?”

“I don’t want to talk about it.” Atsumu clenched his jaw, wishing he could put his hands in front of his mouth to muffle out his answer. Or better yet, he wished the words didn’t even have to leave his lips. He wished the memories had never entered his mind. “I remember the pain. He –” he swallowed, hoping the concoction would find his answer sufficient. It didn’t.

“He tortured me.”

Somewhere in front of him, one of the men sucked in a breath. He didn’t know which one — didn’t care either.

Atsumu didn’t look up.

The silence that followed was thick and made him feel even more exposed. So he filled it.

“I didn’t see anything of the building or the location, because I was unconscious when they brought me in, and when they let me go, they put a bag over my head. It all happened in a room without windows.” He rushed the words, desperate to move past them. “It was either the trauma that made me forget what happened at first, or he put some kind of block in my mind to make sure I couldn’t come for him right away.”

He stared at the wall.

“Look, I’ve answered all your questions. Just let me go home and we’ll forget all about it.”

The frown on Sawamura’s face started to look like it was a permanent one. “Okay, we are done with the questions now. Thank you for answering, Mr Miya. I know it wasn’t easy.”

Atsumu gave a curt nod. He didn’t feel like talking anymore.

“I have a proposition for you,” Sawamura continued. “We’ve been trying to catch Kageyama for a while now — and gotten nowhere. Now that we know you don’t work for him, we’d like to recruit you. Your powers could be useful to our cause. In return, we’ll help you catch Kageyama Tobio. According to our intel, he’s the leader of VIS now.”

Atsumu’s brow furrowed. They wanted what?

He’d expected this to end with either a release or a body bag — not a job offer.

“What does your organisation do exactly?”

“We’re called Xinmar. We protect Wielders — give them somewhere safe.”

“How do you do that?”

“We’re a kind of safe haven. The government won’t raid us — not with that many Wielders inside. And we don’t go around targeting non-Wielders, so they leave us alone. If anything they should be happy with us, since we have a special division that helps catch rogue Wielders to ensure they can’t hurt themselves or others anymore.”

“That sounds great, but what do you do with them then?”

“First we contain them and then we try to rehabilitate them. We don’t hand them over to the government, if that’s what you’re worried about.”

“So... you’re like the government’s unofficial cleanup crew — just not on their payroll?”

“We work beside them in a kind of grey area.”

This was the kind of opportunity most Wielders didn’t get — freedom, safety, revenge. But something about Xinmar still rubbed him the wrong way. It felt a little too clean. Too structured. Almost like joining a cult... or just another rebellion dressed in better clothes.

Xinmar seemed like they stood on the government’s side, since they wanted to keep things the way they were. Atsumu did feel like things had to change, considering Wielders were heavily discriminated against.

VIS wanted that to change, but the way they wanted it didn’t sit well with him. They had actual plans to overthrow the government and Atsumu felt like a more delicate approach would be better. Otherwise they might have an actual war pretty soon and Atsumu definitely didn’t want that.

Siding with the government felt like the safe option for Atsumu, but he couldn’t help but feel like he’d betray his people that way. At the same time he’d already worked for the government when he was still with the police, but things had changed. He’d changed.

For obvious reasons he wouldn’t join VIS. Even if he definitely agreed Wielders should be protected and not hunted, Kageyama had still killed his brother.

He didn’t want to pick a side in this conflict, but he knew he had to.

He had to do this to catch Kageyama for his brother.

“Okay,” he said finally, jaw set. “I’ll do it.”

Chapter Text

“I’ll join you,” Atsumu told them. “But first, I need to go home. Alone.”

He made his way towards the door after having been freed from his restraints.

He’d very much like to leave as quickly as possible now, but unfortunately after taking a couple of steps he had to stop, realizing he had no idea where to go. He hadn’t exactly been conscious when he’d gotten here, so this was the first he’d seen of this building, apart from the room he’d been held and interrogated in.

“Sakusa.” Atsumu heard Sawamura say behind him. He hadn’t closed the door behind him yet, so they could probably see Atsumu looking like a child who’d lost his mother in a supermarket.

“Fine.” He heard Sakusa say with a sigh.

Atsumu turned around and saw Sakusa walking towards him. “Follow me.”

Sakusa led him through the hallways towards the exit. The building had a bit of an industrial look to it with gray walls and metal staircases. Apparently they had been on the first floor, because Sakusa suddenly led him towards one of those staircases.

Or Sakusa might not be leading him towards the exit, but was instead planning to throw him in some kind of prison cell in the basement – that was too very likely, Atsumu thought to himself. He wouldn’t even trust Sakusa to point him to the bathroom, let alone the exit.

“Are you sure you’re leading me towards the exit?” Atsumu asked suspicious, walking a bit faster to walk next to Sakusa instead of a step behind him.

“Yes.”

“Why is your interrogation room on the first floor then?”

In Atsumu’s opinion it seemed a bit unfortunate to have to give your suspect an entire tour of the building before you can interrogate them.

“I am not an interior decorator.”

“I’m not saying you are, but it just seems inconvenient.”

“That it is,” he replied with a measured tone. “I had to drag your ass all the way up the stairs, that was definitely unpleasant.”

“That’s kinda on you,” Atsumu replied.

If Sakusa hadn’t drugged him, he wouldn’t have had to drag him up any stairs. Simple as that.

Sakusa didn’t respond and just continued to walk through the hallways with Atsumu on his tail.

“Well, thank you,” Atsumu said a bit wearily when they were at the door. “You've been surprisingly helpful.”

“I’ll always be happy to help you leave,” Sakusa said, while opening the door and making a gesture for Atsumu to walk through.

Atsumu rolled his eyes and awkwardly shuffled past Sakusa.

“How do I get back to my house from here?” He didn’t recognize any of the buildings and he didn’t have his phone to navigate. Atsumu also noted that it was light outside already, meaning he’d been here the entire night.

“If you walk to the end of this street, you’ll know where you are. It isn’t too far from your house.”

“Okay,” Atsumu said and he started to walk away, but Sakusa called after him.

“Wait.”

Atsumu stopped and turned back around reluctantly.

“How is your foot?”

That drew Atsumu’s attention to his foot, he could see the bandage peeking out from the top of his shoes. He’d felt some pain and pressure on the sole of his foot, but it hadn’t seemed important — until now. “It’s f–”, he tried to say that he was fine, but he found that he couldn’t.

“How long ‘till that stupid drink wears off?” Atsumu sighed, annoyed.

“It shouldn’t take too long anymore,” Sakusa said while looking at his watch. “I’d estimate the effects will start fading in about half an hour.”

“That’s just gr–”, his voice died in his throat. “Oh come on! It’s just sarcasm!” he yelled exasperated to no one in particular.

“I could drive you home,” Sakusa said, interrupting his dramatics. “It’s probably not a good idea to walk on stitches.”

They’d apparently stitched him up while he was unconscious. That made him feel both grateful and disturbed. He banished the thought from his mind for now, he’d think about it later when Sakusa wasn’t still waiting for an answer.

Not walking did sound tempting, but something stopped him. If Sakusa got curious, Atsumu wouldn’t be able to dodge his questions — and a car ride would basically be a mobile interrogation room. Just the thought made him uncomfortable, so he declined.

Sakusa didn’t try to convince him otherwise, he just nodded in understanding and went back inside.

While walking home Atsumu came to the realization that Sakusa had been right about two things: he knew where he was once he’d stood on the end of the street, and it had indeed been very uncomfortable to walk on his stitches even though it hadn’t been that long of a long walk.

When Atsumu walked through the door he was glad he wasn’t met with the smell of a cooked hamster. Rascal was safely nibbling on something in his cage in his bedroom. Atsumu would leave some extra food for Rascal and maybe ask Suna to check on him every once in a while. He didn’t know how long he’d be gone, but surely he’d get some holidays.

He’d known Rintarou since high school and had kept in touch ever since. Suna had been there for Atsumu after his brother had died and had helped Atsumu to get his life back on the rails. Nowadays they hang out every month or so, but they frequently text.

He picked his phone up off the floor and saw that he had a couple missed texts from Suna as he’d expected. It was fairly obvious Suna had gotten progressively more drunk after each text from last night

Rhinoceros (23:01)
What’s up man?

Rhinoceros (23:01)
I’m at this party but it’s soooo boring

Rhinoceros (23:07)
Maybe I should just go home

Rhinoceros (00:11)
I was wrung this is fanzastic

Rhinoceros (00:34)
A grl just told me tadpoles are baby turtles and i’ll nver be the same agasn

Rhinoceros (00:59)
Giv Ruckus a fist bumo from mw

Rhinoceros (01:45)
I lov alkaline battteriez tgey power thw wholr wolrddd

Rhinoceros (02:36)
Alo srunks wqimka fluyy

Even with his superior understanding-drunk-texts skills he still couldn’t understand what Rintarou’s last text had said.

Atsumu (10:04)
Glad to see you had fun last night

Atsumu (10:05)
Listen bro, I have something to ask you. I’ll be gone for some time, could you feed Rascal every once in a while?

Atsumu (10:05)
Don’t worry I already gave him a fist bump for you

Atsumu (10:06)
Unless we know someone named Ruckus and I’ve forgotten

Upon realizing he was very hungry, Atsumu walked to the kitchen to get something to eat. He was already missing his favorite mug in the cupboard. The mug that had broken in too many pieces to glue back together. Sometimes he wondered if that could happen to people too.

Sometimes when he was alone he wondered if that had happened to him, and he just hadn’t noticed.

No, he was still himself. Broken, yes, but not beyond repair. What was broken anyways? He’s different than he was before, but people aren’t mugs – they’re more like water, always changing shape.

He was shaken from his philosophical train of thought when he got a response from Rin.

Rhinoceros (10:20)
It’s too early, the world hates me

Rhinoceros (10:21)
Sure I’ll feed him for you

Rhinoceros (10:21)
Is everything okay?

Atsumu (10:22)
Yeah, just some life changes and stuff

Atsumu (10:22)
I’ll call you later to explain

Rhinoceros (10:23)
All right man, looking forward to that explanation tho

Atsumu was munching on a slice of bread when he replied to Rin’s texts with a simple “thank you”.

He then went to pack half his wardrobe and toiletries, and after brushing his teeth to get rid of the terrible flavor he had in his mouth, he walked back to the living room. He stopped dead in his tracks when he saw Sakusa leaning against the doorpost of his bedroom.

Atsumu blinked.

Either he was hallucinating, or Sakusa had followed him home like a stray cat with a grudge

“You got toothpaste on your shirt,” Sakusa pointed out.

Atsumu looked down. Sakusa was right — a white smear stood out starkly against his black T-shirt. He’d have to change later.

Refusing to show Sakusa that he had startled him, he asked nonchalantly. “Can’t get enough of me, can you? Are you here to make sure I come back?”

“No, I know you will,” Sakusa responded, like the conceited twat he is. “Sawamura isn’t.”

“How are you so sure about that? Maybe I’ll finally make that career switch and become a taxi driver.”

“You feel like you owe it to your brother,” Sakusa said, being incredibly rude.

He slowly took a couple steps into Atsumu’s bedroom. Atsumu wanted to push him back out, either with his powers or his hands, he wasn’t picky.

Sakusa stepped further into the room.

“You do know he’s dead, right?” he said deceptively softly. “Dead people don’t want anything. Revenge isn’t for the dead — it’s for the living.”

Atsumu is going to kill him. It was not only insensitive; it was vile and it pissed him off to his core. After the interrogation, he’d been afraid Sakusa would look at him with pity and treat him as if he’s broken. It’s clear to him now that he had nothing to fear.

“Excuse me?” Atsumu raised his eyebrows. “You think you’re so wise? You’re an arrogant prick, that’s what you are.”

Sakusa ignored him. “But if there’s anything he’d want, it would probably be for you to live your life. That much vindictiveness isn’t good for you, it won’t bring him back.”

Atsumu let out something close to a war cry and lunged. He didn’t know what he was going to do, but taken over by anger his body did it for him. He used his left hand to push against Sakusa’s chest until the taller man hit the wall. Then he pressed his right forearm to Sakusa’s throat to keep him there.

Sakusa did nothing to stop him. The only thing he did was tuck his chin to his chest to prevent his head slamming into the wall, making his shoulders take the brunt of the blow. He didn’t even seem surprised at Atsumu’s outburst. Probably because he’d felt it coming and that pissed Atsumu off even more.

“Who the hell are you to tell me what my brother would’ve wanted!” Atsumu shouted. “And you have no business telling me what is or isn’t good for me!”

“Well you don’t seem to be able to tell that for yourself.” Sakusa pointed out.

Atsumu ignored his comment and contemplated whether he should just completely cut off Sakusa’s air supply or not. “If I didn’t know better, I’d think you’re trying to keep me from joining Xinmar.”

“It’s good that you know better then,” Sakusa retorted. “You’d be wise to use that knowledge, preferably before making a decision.”

“I think it’s always best to make decisions quickly—before you’re in a casket.”

“Yeah, that’s where you’ll be if you keep going on like this,” Sakusa replied. “I don’t think I’ve ever met a person that’s as impulsive as you.”

“Hold on, are you actually concerned for me? Are you afraid I’ll get hurt if I join Xinmar?” Atsumu questioned.

Sakusa made a sound similar to a laugh, but it sounded more like a short puff of air. “Very funny,” he remarked dryly. “But no. I just don’t want to see your face in the hallways every day.”

“Right back at ya,” Atsumu said, pushing his arm harder against Sakusa’s neck. “By the way, I’m not impulsive, you’re just slow. You didn’t even stop me before I pushed you against this wall.”

“Yeah, and how did that work out for you?” Sakusa said, appearing to be unbothered by the arm just shy of crushing his windpipe. “Have you given any thought whatsoever about what you’re gonna do now?”

It was quiet for a moment. A moment too long, because it made Atsumu aware again of their current position. The anger Atsumu had felt earlier made place for awkwardness that caused Astumu to want to back down, but then he realized that's exactly what Sakusa expected from his comments. So he did something else.

Atsumu drew away his left hand from the chest it had been resting against and moved it to his back pocket. He grabbed the knife there and swiftly moved it to Sakusa’s shoulder.

It never made contact with his shoulder, because Sakusa had already twisted out of Atsumu’s grip and harshly slammed him against the wall. The only thing Atsumu could do was turn his face so he didn’t break his nose against the wall. He’d probably get a big bruise on his cheekbone, but that’s certainly better than a broken nose.

Sakusa’s hand harshly gripped the back of Atsumu’s neck to keep him there. Reflexively Atsumu pushed his hands against the wall to break free, but it didn’t work. Atsumu could feel his neck tendons stretching a bit too far, since his shoulders moved a bit, but his neck stayed in position. Sakusa grabbed his left wrist and twisted it painfully behind his back, making Atsumu tense his shoulder in discomfort. The knife clattered to the floor.

“At least you’re armed this time — or were in this case,” Sakusa stated, close to his ear. “One of these days your impulsivity might actually make you end up in a casket.”

Atsumu couldn’t tell how close he was exactly, because he was facing the other direction, but he felt close. If Atsumu concentrated, he could tell Sakusa’s shoulder every so often touched his own.

“What do you think Sawamura would say about your future employment if you stabbed me?”

“He might just thank you, ‘cause he knows what an asshole you are,” Atsumu gritted out, his shoulder hurting.

Atsumu felt a surge of panic at his current vulnerable position, but his anger quickly drowned out that feeling.

“You and I both know that isn’t true,” Sakusa responded. “Besides, I’d know it if he thought that about me.”

“You sure about that? I’ve heard that love and hatred are often hard to tell apart.” Atsumu pushed his head down a bit, hoping that it’d relieve the strain on his neck a bit. It didn’t, and it made Sakusa press down harder and he likely thought Atsumu was trying to escape. To be fair, that had been part of his plan; he’d wanted to see where Sakusa’s feet were placed, instead his neck was about to get snapped in two any moment.

“You are actually right about that. Fortunately, I’m quite good at telling them apart. Although, I might be wrong, maybe he was trying to torture me by sending me to accompany you back to the facility,” Sakusa said, pensively, not even sounding out of breath.

“Nah man, that’s a sign he loves you dearly,” Atsumu claimed. The pain in his neck caused his breathing to quicken, but that was barely possible because of the pressure. “Will you take it easy on the neck, man? It’s not built for this much twisting,” Atsumu gritted out.

“You should be glad I’m not twisting your head off,” Sakusa snarked, “because believe me, the urge is there.”

“You don’t need to convince me of that, I can feel it. Now ease up, I–”

“Shhh.”

“You did not just–”, Atsumu began, offended Sakusa was trying to shush him like a child.

“Shut up, I hear something,” Sakusa urged, covering Atsumu’s mouth with the hand that was previously on Atsumu’s neck. If it weren’t for the arm still twisted painfully behind his back, Atsumu would’ve broken free immediately. Sakusa and his weird noises be damned.

A rattling noise was heard, coming from the living room.

Atsumu now knew what it was and he was definitely not above biting Sakusa’s hand, so that’s what he did.

Sakusa winched and withdrew his hand. “Do you have a death wish?” he whispered harshly. “Someone may have broken into your house.”

“Yeah, you,” Atsumu pointed out childishly.

“Someone other than me, you idiot.” He released Atsumu’s arm.

A louder clanging noise was heard, followed by the sound of a dull thud.

Sakusa drew a knife from his pocket, carefully peeking around the doorpost.

“Hey, no don’t –”

“Stay here,” Sakusa ordered.

Then he seemed to change his mind. His eyes changed to a scrutinizing look. “Why are you so calm? Do you know who it is?”

“Yes, of course I know what it is,” Atsumu said with a satirical smile. “It’s my dishwasher.”

“If that’s your dishwasher, you are in desperate need of a new one.” Apparently Sakusa was immune to sarcasm. “Besides, I know you’re lying. So tell me or I’ll–”

A grey blur whooshed past Sakusa and hid underneath the bed in the middle of the room.

“What the hell was that?” Sakusa called out. “Do you have a rodent problem?”

“No, I don’t, you wanker,” Atsumu said defensively.

“What was that then?”

“A hamster, obviously,” he pointed out.

Thankfully, Sakusa had been too surprised to throw a knife at the animal. Not at all reassured he wouldn’t throw the knife anyways, Atsumu moved to stand between Sakusa and the bed.

“You have a hamster?”

“Yes, I do, meet Rascal,” Atsumu said, while pointing vaguely at the bed, “or as I tend to call him Killer Hammy.”

“You’re joking.”

Atsumu gave him a glare that was colder than absolute zero.

“Why do you have a hamster?”

Apparently Sakusa didn’t understand the concept of owning a pet, though Atsumu didn't really think of it as ‘owning’ Rascal.

Explaining the concept of ‘pets’ to Sakusa didn’t really appeal to Atsumu, so he ignored the question and walked closer towards the bed.

“I’m so sorry Rascal! I didn’t give you your favorite crackers this morning. Please don’t be mad. I have a really good excuse and it’s standing in this room.” Atsumu kneeled down and kept talking to the hamster with a soft tone. “I know right, he’s a real jerk.”

The hamster didn’t show itself again, choosing to remain hidden underneath his bed.

“I’ll leave extra crackers by the couch leg closest to your cage like always. I’ve asked Rin to check in on you every once in a while, all right?” Atsumu said to Rascal.

Atsumu turned back to Sakusa.

“I can’t bring him with me, can I?” It slipped out quieter than he’d meant for it to — a small thread of vulnerability he couldn’t quite swallow.

It’s just that Rascal had been one of the only things constant in his life. When his life had been so turbulent, he’d always had that hamster. Even though he’d only known the hamster for two years, it had crawled its way into his heart.

Sakusa shook his head.

“Can you leave for a moment?” Atsumu asked, still sitting next to the bed. He wanted to say goodbye to the hamster for now.

“Fine, but in five minutes we’re leaving. Don’t think you’re safe just because I've already drugged you once.”

Atsumu rolled his eyes.

Sakusa walked towards the door. “Hamsters are rodents, by the way,” he said before closing it.

Atsumu knew that of course, he just didn’t agree with the rodent problem wording.

After saying his goodbyes to Rascal, Atsumu joined Sakusa and they went on their way to Xinmar.

After months of training…

Three months later Atsumu was called to Sawamura’s office for a mission briefing. About twice a week he was summoned for a mission, usually that meant retrieving some Wielders causing trouble with a select group of Xinmar’s Wielders.

Life at Xinmar hadn’t been too bad. Every week he had one day off to do whatever he wanted, that included leaving the premises of the building, so he could go home and visit Rascal or Rintarou. Atsumu had been surprised to find out that he was allowed to keep his phone. Xinmar had ended up being a lot less secret than Atsumu had originally thought, maybe he’d just watched too many spy movies.

He was even allowed to tell Rin where he was, not anything regarding the missions, but other than that it was okay. He didn’t end up telling Rin everything though, not wanting him to have any information in case VIS captured him or something. Rin thought he was just working somewhere far away from home, that explained why he was away for so long and the occasional visits home.

Atsumu had always suspected he might not be a LOW Wielder, but these past few months at Xinmar’s had definitely confirmed his suspicions.

His control during high-pressure drills, the way the training dummies practically shattered when he let loose—it was clear now: he could do way more than just shield himself from raindrops.

Sawamura had been pleasantly surprised and started sending him on missions, sometimes even alone

So when Atsumu was summoned again to Sawamura’s office, he expected another standard assignment.

What he got instead was the beginning of a nightmare.

It started the moment he opened the door to the conference room.

“We should really do something about the air conditioning in the building, it’s boiling here,” Atsumu said, exasperated, tugging at his collar. “If I didn’t know there was a heatwave outside, I’d wonder what Wielder has decided to cook us in here.”

“Hello to you too Atsumu, glad you could join us.”

Atsumu immediately noticed something was different about the briefing. Today when he entered the room he saw, besides Sawamura, another familiar face. One he wasn’t happy to see again. Sakusa.

During the time Atsumu had been staying at Xinmar they’d mostly steered clear of each other. Some isolated incidents had happened when they had occasionally ran into each other. Those incidents usually left both of them with either bruises on their body or their ego’s, or both.

Besides Sawamura and Sakusa, no one else was there. That was weird.

Atsumu decided to ignore Sakusa, sat down on the chair opposite from him, and directed his attention to Sawamura.

“Thank you for meeting me here today. This will be a short briefing of the mission you’ll be going on.”

“We believe the drug called Butterfly is transported on this submarine,” he said while pointing at the picture behind him. “It’s called the Soloaquiem and is used as a cruise ship meant for more adventurous people. The details of the mission you’ll find in this file.”

He handed a small stack of papers to both of them.

“You’ll collect evidence of the drug smuggling operation and preferably a sample for us to test. In seven days we’ll bust in if you’ve gathered the evidence. You two will be given an encrypted phone to communicate with me.”

“Why did you choose us specifically?” Atsumu asked.

“Good question. It’s got to do with your skillset. Mr Miya, we need you there, because there are a lot of innocent people on that cruise and we believe you can protect them if anything were to happen when we burst in. We’ll move while you’re still underwater. The docking station won’t play nice,” Sawamura explained. “And Sakusa, you’ll be able to detect whether they’re onto you or not. Besides, you can help keep the other people on the cruise calm.”

Atsumu nodded in understanding, but Sakusa wasn’t convinced. “Isn’t it a bit soon to send him on a mission like this?”

Astumu scoffed. “Is this your way of saying you think I’m incompetent?”

“I don’t need to tell you that, you know it already.” Atsumu couldn’t see it because of the mask, but Sakusa was most definitely smirking. “At least you don’t lack self-awareness too.”

Atsumu rolled his eyes.

“Since you’re already quarreling like an old married couple, I don’t think you’ll have any trouble with the married part.”

“The married part?” Atsumu questioned, confused.

“Yes, say goodbye to your bachelor years. You’re going as a married couple. We’ve discussed the option of making you two brothers, but you look nothing alike and we want you to be as inconspicuous as possible.”

“Couldn’t you just have made us friends?”

“Friends wouldn’t go on a cruise together if they hate each other. Married people usually take a bit longer to split up even when the love has already disappeared,” Sawamura reasoned. “If anyone asks any questions, you can always say it was an arranged marriage. Or you could just try to be convincing, but I don’t see that happening any time soon.”

Atsumu briefly glanced at Sakusa, them being able to convince people they like each other?

Yeah, no that wasn’t happening.

Two hours later Atsumu found himself back in his room. This was going to be Atsumu’s first undercover mission and he was feeling quite nervous.

He’d received additional files with the details of their mission and their backstory, and a new passport. They would keep their names, but certain things were changed, like their passport number, date of birth (he was now 23 days younger — would he be able to convince Rintarou to celebrate his birthday twice this year?) and they were now classified as non-Wielders.

If someone looked up their name in any kind of system, fake information would pop up, so nothing would be traced back to their actual past – a relief for Atsumu. That might be the only thing he won’t have to worry about.

The overwhelming feeling of dread clung to Atsumu like a weighted blanket, because he was going to be stuck with Sakusa for a week, maybe even more.

That was the reason why he was dramatically laying on the floor in the middle of the room feeling sorry for himself when his roommate, Shouyou, found him.

Shouyou has been his friend ever since they became roommates three months ago. They’d hit off instantly and had quickly become good friends.

“Should I even ask?” he asked after spotting him on the floor.

“No,” Atsumu murmured grumpy.

He closed his eyes, trying to imagine he was anywhere but here.

“I heard from Sakusa,” Shouyou said. “If it’s any consolation, he’s not much better off.”

That was one thing Atsumu was still puzzled about; how could someone as kind and friendly as Shouyou be friends with a vile person like Sakusa?

“Somehow I doubt Sakusa is lying on the floor.”

Atsumu tried imagining Sakusa laying starfished on the floor while petulantly staring at the ceiling — he failed. Sakusa always treated him like an inconvenience and he doubted the psychic would be upset about the prospect of having to spend time with Atsumu – or even feel anything besides indifferent towards it. But then again, unlike Sakusa, he could only guess about what Sakusa was feeling.

“No,” Shouyou admitted. “But I wouldn’t want to trade places with the punching bags at the gym.”

“What?” Atsumu scoffed. “Is he staring at them impassively until they bow down to him and acknowledge his superiority?”

Shouyou sighed.

“Okay, that’s enough.” Atsumu could hear him walking closer. “Tonight we are going to watch a movie on your laptop and you won’t mention Sakusa again, or I’ll burn holes in your socks.”

Like everyone at Xinmar, Shouyou was a Wielder – he could summon fire. Atsumu had never seen him use it, but he’d heard others praise him after a mission a month ago. This was the first time Shouyou had even mentioned his powers, so Atsumu figured it might be a sore subject. Wielders were often seen as freaks, leaving them afraid or ashamed of their own powers.

“All my socks?” Atsumu questioned, opening one eye to peer at Shouyou putting his phone in the charger at his bedside table. Atsumu was terrible at remembering to charge it, and his heart warmed at Shouyou’s thoughtfulness.

“No, just the left ones so you’ll never have a matching pair ever again.”

Atsumu raised his eye-brows, before answering. “Bold of you to assume I even own a matching pair of socks.”

Shouyou chuckled, reaching for Atsumu’s hand to pull him up.

“Please just promise me you’ll try to be civil to him at least,” Shouyou urged. “The mission is really important, Atsumu.”

“Yeah, yeah, I’ll try,” Atsumu promised. “Now I believe I was promised a movie?”

It was another two hours later when Atsumu walked towards his own bed. Shouyou had fallen asleep halfway through the movie and when he’d started snoring, Atsumu’d decided to go to sleep as well.

Tomorrow he’d have to go on a submarine cruise with a man he despised. Not just ‘with him’, but also pretend to be his husband.

What could possibly go wrong?

Chapter Text

Seven days. Atsumu could do seven days. First, they had to prove the drugs were on board. Only then would Xinmar move in to make arrests.

If they didn’t have proof by day seven, they’d have to stay until they did, or until the cruise ended.

Atsumu wasn’t going to let that happen. Seven days was plenty to spend with Sakusa —it was already too much if he was being honest.

The submarine consisted of three floors accessible to guests. They entered the submarine through a hatch at the top of it. After descending on a ladder, they stood on a red carpet that led to a narrow hallway on the left and a dining room on the right. The sign hanging from the ceiling told Atsumu they were currently standing in a crowded reception area.

“Hello everyone!”

Everyone went quiet at the sound of the authoritative voice.

“The crew welcomes you aboard the Soloaquiem. I am Morton Mateo and I’ll be your captain during your stay,” the tall man said with a smile.

He gestured a lot while speaking, Atsumu noticed. The wide gestures distracted Atsumu from properly reading the man’s body language.

He took up all the space with wide, flapping gestures — probably trying to appear friendly, but he just looked like a baby owl desperately trying to leave the nest.

“Excuse me Mr Morton, I have a question.”

Despite the fact that the man had interrupted the captain's speech, the captain smiled and nodded for him to continue.

“You said we will stay underwater the entire fifteen day trip— don’t we need fuel?” the man asked, concerned. “I don’t know, like stopping at a gas station or something?”

A couple laughs echoed through the room at the man’s wording.

“Excellent question!” the captain said enthusiastically. “At night a small boat comes underneath our boat to give us fuel. We won’t have to stop at any gas stations, don’t worry! Does that answer your question?”

“Yes, thank you.”

“Does anybody else have any questions?”

It stayed quiet.

“No?” the captain questioned. “Fantastic. Well as I was saying, at six we will dine together in the dining room. Once the sun sets we’ll start our journey and disappear underneath the surface.”

The captain walked away in the direction of the narrow hallway with a crew member.

Atsumu and Sakusa joined the line in front of the reception desk. They hadn’t been told how many people would be on board, but Atsumu estimated it to be around thirty to sixty people – he was really bad at estimating.

After receiving the keys to their room, the receptionist pointed them towards the narrow hallway and told them to find the staircase at the end of it.

In the hallway he spotted another sign.

GYM - 31
SPA - 32
CINEMA - 33
POOL AREA - 35
CHILDREN’S AREA - 36

The numbers behind the words corresponded with the numbers painted in shiny golden paint on the doors. Like any sane person, Atsumu immediately wondered what happened to door 34.

Mystery solved: it was just a bathroom.

And something else struck Atsumu—something even weirder than the pool inside a submarine.

“There’s a children’s area?” Atsumu asked, his jaw tightening. “You think there’ll actually be kids on board?”

It was bad enough that these people might be smuggling Butterfly. The thought that they were doing this with children on board made Atsumu’s stomach turn.

Sakusa didn’t respond, but Atsumu could see him frowning.

They descended a metal staircase covered by a red carpet. It felt a bit contradictory to Atsumu, the stairs felt industrial, but the carpet was clearly trying to class it up. It looked mismatched—like luxury and utility had been stitched together by someone unsure which they preferred.

On the stairs, Atsumu frowned. Something was off. “There’s something up with that captain. I don’t trust him,” Astumu said to Sakusa while carefully looking at his feet to avoid tripping.

Sakusa stopped at the door leading to the second floor and mumbled. “Well, we are here for what is likely a drug smuggling operation. It isn’t that surprising that the captain would be a little shady.”

“Do you think he’s in on it?”

“We should go to our room. I don’t want anyone to overhear.”

Sakusa had barely finished saying that, before turning around and starting to walk towards their room with large paces.

“Hey wait,” Atsumu hissed, “married, remember?”

“Unfortunately, I keep being reminded," Sakusa commented, but he did start to walk a bit slower so Atsumu could catch up. “It’s like waking up from a nightmare, only to realize you ended up in another one. And it happens over and over again.”

“Hey now, sweetheart, that’s a lot of nightmares," Atsumu said with a sugary voice, while grabbing his hand. “Do you need me to comfort you? I’ll be here so the big bad monster can’t get you. I’ll make you some chamomile tea and draw you a nice warm bath.”

An eyebrow raise.

He’d made Sakusa raise one of his eyebrows, in a disapproving manner no less, but Atsumu wanted to cheer. He’d made it his mission to make Sakusa lose his composure during the submarine cruise, and he felt like this was a small step towards accomplishing that. Albeit a very small step.

“I think we both know I’m not the one with the dramatic sleeping habits.”

Atsumu blinked. “What are you talking about?”

“Hinata gets very talkative when he’s drunk, it’s quite annoying to be honest.”

Hinata Shouyou is Atsumu’s roommate, and friend, at Xinmar’s training facility. His friend had heard Atsumu wake up screaming every once in a while.

Atsumu had always apologized profusely afterwards, even offered to change rooms, but Hinata always said it was fine and that it kept him on his toes. He’d said ‘it was a good reminder that he always needed to be ready for anything even in the middle of the night’.

Shouyou always sees the positive in everything — that’s what Atsumu likes about him.

But his inability to hold liquor? That Atsumu could not appreciate — especially now.

Atsumu wanted to rip away his hand, embarrassed and angry, but Sakusa gripped it tighter.

“Married, remember?” he said, throwing back Atsumu’s earlier words. “Now I believe I was promised a nice warm bath.”

“Yes, and I’ll drown you in it too.”

“Luckily for you, I’m a very good swimmer.”

“I hope you like swimming in sulfuric acid then,” Atsumu gritted out, still trying to get his hand free.

Atsumu heard an amused, barely perceptible, short huff of air coming from Sakusa’s nose. “You brought that with you on this trip?”

“For you I always keep a special stash on me,” Atsumu said, smiling viciously.

Sakusa gave him a once-over before replying, “I’m honored.”

“You should be.” Atsumu glanced at Sakusa, but Sakusa was looking ahead again. “I even labeled it with: ‘For the hypocritical arrogant prick’.”

“Be careful you don’t spill it on yourself then, sunshine.”

“I think you’re the one that needs to be careful,” he said while getting closer to Sakusa’s ear. “I’d sleep with one eye open if I were you.”

“God you’re so dramatic,” Sakusa declared, “and not nearly as violent as that.”

“Maybe not right now, but every second spent with you I’ll come closer to that. The thing is, you won’t even know when I’ve reached that point, ‘cause I’ve got this,” Atsumu said, pointing to his necklace. “You can’t read me.”

The necklace Atsumu was wearing had been given to him before the mission by Sawamura.

Apparently it’s very hard for someone who doesn’t have a psychic power to understand how you’re supposed to protect your mind from others. Atsumu had hoped that he would be able to shield his mind, since he’s quite literally got a “shield power”.

There’d been a psychic at Xinmar. Mika? Mila? Atsumu still didn't know. She’d tried to train him. She could see through other people's eyes, she could see what her intended target could see.

It was a very useful power to have, but Atsumu also considered it to be a bit creepy. You couldn’t even feel it when she was watching what you were seeing. It was kind of like an upgraded form of stalking.

The girl hadn’t really given off any creepy vibes, though. If anything she’d seemed like a pretty honest person and hadn’t really appeared to be interested in people at all. She’d never asked him any personal questions, besides his name. Although that had probably been more out of politeness than interest.

Still, she could see what you were doing at any time, and that made Atsumu a bit weary of her.

Unfortunately, they’d had to give up on their lessons, because after many hours, Atsumu was still only capable of blurring her vision slightly. Sawamura decided that his time would be better spent trying to get a better control of his own powers.

So that’s what he did and Sawamura gave him a necklace instead. The emerald-shaped stone blocked psychics from touching his mind — no reading, no controlling, nothing. Sawamura had given it to him in case there was a mind reader on the submarine, Sakusa not being able to read his emotions was an added bonus.

They’d reached their room by now at the end of the long hallway.

While unlocking the room with the card, Sakusa replied to his earlier statement. “I don’t need that necklace gone to know what you’re up to.”

Atsumu clenched his fists at his sides. He ignored Sakusa's cocky retort — because if he started, he wouldn’t stop. Not with Sakusa.

Their suite, room 211, was at the end of the hallway on the second floor. It was a simple, but luxurious room with a double bed, a door to the bathroom and a big closet. The interior had a lot of bright tones to it. Probably to mask the fact that it was soon going to be very dark outside, since they’d be about a thousand feet beneath the surface of the sea.

Sakusa and Atsumu hadn’t spoken a word to each other since arriving in their room.

If they didn’t communicate, they didn’t fight and Atsumu didn’t have the irresistible urge to punch Sakusa in his face. He’d aim for his cheekbone – not his jaw because then he’d barely be able to see the mark it’d leave behind, since it’s covered by a mask – or he’d simply just choke him.

Their silence had more similarities to the Cold War than to what could be classified as ‘comfortable’, but Atsumu appreciated it — until the other man broke it that is.

“We have to be in the dining room in fifteen minutes,” Sakusa finally said.

To mark the beginning of the cruise trip, everyone on board would dine together. So after unpacking in their suite, they walked together through the narrow hallways on their way to the restaurant.

“Any chance we can sit separately without being suspicious?”

Sakusa and Atsumu were sitting at a two person table opposite each other. Every once in a while Atsumu would surreptitiously kick Sakusa’s shins and Sakusa in return would pretend it didn’t bother him. Atsumu knew it did. He saw Sakusa’s fingers twitch on the table cloth and his cold eyes seemed to get colder by the minute.

“Is being annoying your default mode?”

“Is being boring yours?” Atsumu countered.

They hadn’t been given any food yet, since they were still waiting on some guests to arrive. In a couple minutes they’d depart and Atsumu was feeling a bit nervous. So naturally he took that out on Sakusa by irritating him, trying to get a reaction out of him. So far he didn’t have a lot of success, but he wasn’t giving up yet.

“I don’t know how Sawamura puts up with you,” Atsumu said. “It’s probably all for your powers. I mean, it’s definitely not your sparkling personality.”

Atsumu was quiet for a moment before an idea popped up in his head.

“Are you two fucking?”

Sakusa gave him another bored expression, this time with an eye-roll, before looking away again.

“That’s not a no,” Atsumu said, tilting his head pretending to think about it. “Were you that bad of a fuck he had to send you on a mission a thousand feet beneath the surface to get rid of you?”

“Be quiet, people might overhear,” Sakusa said with a low tone.

“People might overhear hmm?” Atsumu said, smirking.

“Miya, don’t even–”, Sakusa started, knowing Atsumu was about to cause trouble.

“Okay honey, I know you like to sniff my used underwear, but this way I don’t have any clean ones left,” Atsumu said just a little bit too loud. “They need to be washed at some point!”

Sakusa looked at him, clearly unamused.

“And no, you can’t have my socks either.” He crossed his arms. “I know it turns you on to put them on your pillow, but my feet are getting cold.”

A lady at the table next to them gave Sakusa a side-eye and apparently that was Sakusa’s final straw.

“If you didn’t sleep in your grandmother's nightgown every night, I wouldn’t need that to get turned on,” Sakusa retorted.

“Oh, so it’s my fault now, sweety?”

“I’d say it’s the pink nighty with daisies fault, but it’s definitely an interesting choice you made, dear.”

“Just like the interesting choice you made when you cheated on me, huh? Throwing away years of our marriage!” he exclaimed dramatically.

Sakusa seemed a bit bewildered at the new turn Atsumu took with the story, but he quickly pulled himself together. “Peaches, I told you that was a mistake.”

“Don’t call me peaches,” Atsumu said reflexively, but he quickly added, “...not when you were all over her… peaches.” Atsumu realized there might be kids hearing this, so he’d try to keep the explicit language to a minimum. “And no, it wasn’t a mistake. You cheated on me, that’s a choice you made.”

“I can’t help the fact that your ass is so small.”

That one came out of nowhere and Atsumu took personal offense to the accusation, so he threw out the first insult he could think of.

“Your dick is too small, but you don’t hear me complaining.”

“Now you're just saying something trying to embarrass me, honey. We both know who was begging for it last night.”

Well, maybe the kids would learn something tonight, Atsumu thought to himself. They weren’t that loud anyways. He guessed only the couple next to them, and maybe the one behind them, could hear everything.

“Yes, I was begging for it,” Atsumu scrunched his nose and shrugged, “because I thought there’d be more of it and then every time I was just disappointed.”

Suddenly he felt a hand touch his own; Sakusa had put his hand on top of his own. It confused Atsumu for a moment, until he realized his hand had been fisting the table cloth in frustration.

“I think the neighbours would definitely disagree with you sounding disappointed, love.”

The use of the pet name riled Atsumu up even though they weren’t technically fighting over anything. The warm hand, meant to pacify him, atop his own wasn’t helping either.

Before he could say something, they were interrupted by a waiter approaching them with two champagne glasses on a tray.

“Good evening,” he greeted. “These are for the toast the captain will make in a couple minutes.”

“Oh, thank you,” Sakusa said, “but I don’t drink. Do you have an alcohol free option?”

“Yes, of course sir. I'll be right back," the waiter said with a polite smile and walked away.

“Are you afraid it’ll hurt the baby?” Atsumu taunted when the waiter had barely left the table.

Sakusa ignored him.

“Actually you’re the one who shouldn’t drink.” Sakusa commented after a moment. “You’re the one with the emotional maturity of a five year old.”

“Well, we all know you like them young.”

Instead of correcting him, Sakusa retorted. “You are older than me, that must’ve been the problem.”

“Oh that was the problem?” Atsumu raised his eyebrows in disbelief. “And I thought it was your personal trainer's biceps.”

The waiter returned with a new drink. “Here you go.”

Sakusa thanked him and turned back to Atsumu. “Look, the only reason I’m with you on this trip is because our families have booked it for us as a three year anniversary gift, and I don’t want to let them down.” Sakusa sighed, effectively ending their fake squabble.

Although it wasn’t entirely fake, the entire plot was, obviously, but the frustration he felt with Sakusa was very real.

The captain's speech wasn’t anything special. About a minute after he was done speaking, Atsumu saw the red sky from the sun setting disappear. They went down, and hopefully not in a sinking way. Technically they were sinking, but like in a controlled way or something. Okay, Atsumu had no idea how submarines worked.

Atsumu was about to take a sip of his champagne, when Sakusa suddenly spoke. “Excuse me, I’m going to the bathroom.”

Sakusa stood from his chair, but before leaving he bent down next to Atsumu’s ear. “Wait five minutes before following me to the bathroom, I’m getting something,” he whispered.

Atsumu realized he was referring to his powers – someone’s emotions were out of the ordinary.

Atsumu nodded, immediately on high alert. He decided he’d finish his champagne and then follow Sakusa.

The champagne turned out to be a good idea, because the swallowing helped against the funny feeling in his ears from the change in air pressure.

The liquid tasted horrible though, Atsumu never really liked champagne. Why people celebrated things with a drink that tasted so foul, would forever be a mystery to him.

He’d set down his glass and gotten up from their table, before making his way to the bathrooms. Sakusa was standing there with his arms crossed leaning against the wall, the bathroom was empty otherwise.

If he hadn’t known Sakusa, that would’ve been a kind of creepy situation to find someone in. He’d really nailed the whole “I’m waiting for you in the bathroom to beat you up and flush your head down the toilet” vibe.

To break the unsettling atmosphere, Atsumu said: “Well, at least we really sold the ‘couple having marital issues’ act.”

Sakusa ignored his comment, but fortunately he did start speaking a moment later.

“I felt some extreme terror just seconds after we departed,” Sakusa said, his voice lower than usual. “It was coming from the floor below us, maybe even the floor below that, I’m not sure. The emotion was very strong.”

“You sure that wasn’t just some platypus about to get eaten by a shark?”

Sakusa glared at him and didn’t say anything else, until Atsumu asked him what he thought had happened.

“I don’t know, all I know is that it was someone so scared, they were probably fearing for their life. And then it suddenly stopped.”

Sakusa appeared unsettled to Atsumu, which made him wonder what it was like feeling someone else’s fear. Did Sakusa get scared himself, or was he capable of separating his own feelings from it?

“We should check it out.”

“Are you actually that stupid?” Sakusa asked incredulously. “What happens when we find a corpse? If they’ve just killed someone, they aren’t going to leave the body unattended.”

“What do you suppose we do then? Nothing?”

“No, we will just execute the plan as we discussed it. Search a different section of the submarine every day. We will just be more on guard for a murderer walking around.”

“Great,” Atsumu said sarcastically.

He’d hoped these people were just simple drug smugglers not murderers. Then again simple drug smugglers don’t use a submarine cruise to transport the drugs. And as far as he knows, Butterfly is not a simple drug. When something had so much secrecy around it, it was never a good sign.

Back in their room Atsumu was faced with an uncomfortable situation. Like most things that made him uncomfortable, Atsumu had ignored their sleeping arrangement until the last possible second.

He was still standing by the edge of their bed, trying to gather the courage. God, this is awkward.

“If you want to go through your life as a statue from now on, I’d support you,” Sakusa said entering the room after having brushed his teeth in the bathroom. “In fact I’d encourage you to, because it’d mean you’d finally be quiet and that would be best for everyone involved.”

He sat down on the bed and put his phone in the charger.

“Glad to have your support, but I have far too much to do in my life.” Atsumu threw him a fake smile. “Though I’d make a pretty statue, don’t you think?”

“Yeah, just how a tractor would make a great statue too.” Sarcasm dripped from his voice. “A couple of wheels and even a farmer wouldn’t be able to tell the difference.”

“I’m sure there are some pretty tractors out there.”

After saying that, Atsumu climbed on the bed as well and laid down.

“I wonder how it’d be to be frozen in time like that though, to never change,” Atsumu said, staring at the ceiling contemplatively. “What do you think?”

“Are you wondering how it’d feel for you or for me? Because for me it’d feel amazing, it’s way easier to ignore a statue, especially if you are the statue. No better feeling in the world.”

“I’m sure there are better feelings in the world,” Atsumu said suggestively, a slight smirk found its way to his face.

“While being on a cruise with you?” Sakusa turned his head towards Atsumu. “I don’t think so.”

“Perhaps you should broaden your horizons,” Atsumu suggested. “The lady at the table next to us looked pretty interested.”

“If you mean she looked deeply disturbed, then yes, I agree,” Sakusa countered. “And I don’t think my horizons are quite that broad. Besides, how am I supposed to broaden my horizons, if I literally can’t see the said horizons?”

The worst thing is that Sakusa actually seemed serious when he asked that question.

“It’s a manner of speech, Sakusa. But don’t worry, maybe one day you’ll discover there’s more to life than being a jerk to everyone. Maybe you’ll even discover what I mean by ‘that feeling’.”

Saksua scoffed, reading between the lines. “You just can’t decide whether I’ve slept my way into Xinmar, or whether I’m a virgin, can you?”

“If we’re talking about feelings — you are most definitely a virgin. You are way too uptight to let yourself feel anything with anyone.”

“You do know I can quite literally feel someone’s emotions?”

“And still you don’t have any to call your own, how sad,” Atsumu sneered. “That must’ve been such a turn-off for your previous partners. Them just trying to have a good time and you bawling your eyes out, because you just can’t feel it.”

Atsumu didn’t know why that one came out so harsh — it sounded more like something he wanted to believe. It made him realize he was already too emotionally entangled with Sakusa.

Something flickered in Sakusa’s eyes, but it was gone the moment he spoke.

“It’s usually the other way around with the crying part.”

Atsumu laughed mockingly. “Are you that bad in bed? I almost feel sorry for you.”

“I’ve never had any complaints.” Sakusa shrugged his shoulders. “Let’s just say that being able to sense how someone is feeling has its perks sometimes.”

Sakusa turned to the lamp on the nightstand beside the bed and turned it off.

Atsumu scoffed. “You are so full of yourself.”

“Positive feedback will do that to you.”

Atsumu rolled his eyes and his body, effectively turning away from Sakusa. He just hoped he’d fall asleep before his brain started picturing how exactly being an Empath was a "perk" in bed.

Chapter Text

The next day was quite uneventful. Sakusa had already been gone when Atsumu woke up.

They’d met up again after breakfast and had explored the spa and pool together, trying to find anything that could hint at a drug smuggling business. The spa and pool were accessible to everyone on the submarine, so Atsumu hadn’t been very surprised to find out they came up empty. Still, it had been one of the area’s they’d have to cross off the list.

For lunch Atsumu had gone out to score a sandwich and wasn’t disappointed — he’d ended up balancing three mini plates on one tray, because apparently restraint wasn’t part of the lunch buffet experience.

Sakusa had been going through some files and had stayed in their room, he’d probably ordered room service or something, Atsumu didn’t really care.

Dinner had been exactly the opposite way, instead Atsumu had stayed in their room, still studying the floor plan of the submarine. He had a terrible sense of direction and even though the submarine wasn’t that big and the structure seemed logical to Atsumu, he’d already gotten lost more than once on the way back to their room.

In fact it had happened enough times that Sakusa had started leaving their door half-open out of pity—or ‘for the good of the mission’.

And that’s what was happening on the morning of the third day of their submarine trip. Atsumu had just finished his breakfast and was now wandering the hallway of the second floor, where the rooms were.

Memorizing the floor plan and being able to implement that memorized knowledge were two completely different things, but somehow he still noticed something.

He abruptly stopped walking when he saw the door to his right — it hadn’t been on the floor plan. The door was between room 286 and 285 and didn’t have a room number itself, but it looked the same as the other doors.

Atsumu’s hand hovered for a second before gripping the handle. The metal was cold, and the door gave way too easily—as if it had been waiting to be opened.

It was dark inside the room, so Atsumu could only make out vague shapes of a wooden construction that functioned as a shelving unit, since there were boxes stacked on top of it.

Before he could turn on the light and investigate further, he was pulled back by his wrist with enough force to drag him from the room. Sakusa.

“Do you even have any brains up there, Miya?” Sakusa said angrily. “It’s crawling with crewmembers in these hallways.”

The pulling didn’t stop once he was out of the room, Sakusa dragged him through the hallways. He was mumbling things that sounded a lot like swear words and insults directed at Atsumu.

“Hey, don’t drag me with you like that! We are not in the supermarket and I’m not some kind of shopping cart you can just push around.”

Atsumu didn’t know where that comparison came from, but he was about one step away from throwing a fit like a child in a supermarket that was denied the cookies it wanted.

For a moment Atsumu thought Sakusa had listened to him when he abruptly slowed his pace and changed his grip from Atsumu’s wrist to his hand, but then he realized it was because a cleaner had just walked around the corner.

Atsumu immediately changed the outraged expression on his face to a more pleasant one, however to make his displeasure clear to Sakusa, he dug his nails in his hand.

When the cleaner, a man who barely spared them a glance, had passed, Sakusa spoke. “You never stop surprising me.”

“See I knew you liked me and my dazzling personality,” Atsumu teased. “You don’t hide it that well.”

“I didn’t say it was in a good way.”

They’d turned into the hallway, Atsumu vaguely recognized as the one where their room was. He turned out to be right when a moment later they stopped in front of their door.

“Why do I surprise you then?” Atsumu asked, with obvious disinterest in his tone.

Sakusa turned his body towards Atsumu and made eye-contact, his eyes narrowed in slits.

“It’s astonishing how infuriating a person can be. I didn’t think it was possible, until I met you.”

“I’m flattered,” Atsumu said as he sidestepped Sakusa and walked through the door.

“That was most definitely not a compliment,” Sakusa called behind him.

Sakusa always tried to correct him and it really rubbed Atsumu the wrong way. It made him dislike Sakusa more and more by the minute —he’d thought that to be impossible.

He told himself it didn’t bother him, but Sakusa's constant corrections gnawed at something deeper—like a mosquito bite he couldn’t quite reach.

“I don’t care, at least I’m not boring,” Atsumu threw back. “By the way, you better not be expecting that I won't go back to that room.”

“We’ll come back later.”

“Because you’ve seen how often I’ve stared at the floor plan, I’m sure that door isn’t supposed to be—” Atsumu fell silent, a bit confused.

He hadn’t expected Sakusa to agree with him to go back there.

When Atsumu had finally registered the other man’s words, he asked, “When do you think we should go there then?”

“Tomorrow evening there is a party in the restaurant area, we’ll go then.”

"'Kay,” Atsumu reluctantly agreed.

“Until then, please refrain from running into situations that are going to get us caught.”

“Yes Sakusa, I’ll be more careful, thank you for your concern,” Atsumu said, feigning politeness.

“This is not concern.”

“What is it then? ‘Cause to me it looks like your mother cow instinct finally kicked in.”

“It’s preferring not to die,” Sakusa responded stiffly.

Sakusa really sucked the fun out of everything, Atsumu thought to himself. You could put him in a comedy show and he’d make people feel like they’re at a funeral listening to an eulogy.

“By the way it’s mother hen, not mother cow.”

Atsumu knew that, obviously.

By the end of the third day Atsumu was bored and eating crisps, bugles, while lying in bed. He was probably going to regret that tonight, but anything to annoy Sakusa, who was just entering their room. He’d come back from the swimming pool.

They’d discussed earlier that they had to do some normal activities, instead of holing up in their room and only coming out during dinner or to spy on people. Since they weren’t really the epitome of a happy married couple, they agreed that it was okay to be seen alone.

Atsumu had spent the afternoon in the cinema watching some old eighties movie with a couple other guests. He’d briefly spoken to a couple of people too, they hadn’t seemed like people who would be involved in any crimes, but they had been nice anyway. Atsumu didn’t have any psychic skills like Sakusa, but he prided himself on his creep radar.

“Do you want some?” Atsumu said, offering him the package.

“Do you really have to eat that on our bed?” Sakusa asked him with the predicted annoyed tone.

“Is that a problem?”

Sakusa said nothing, but his eyes told Atsumu that it was in fact a problem.

“During dinner yesterday, I noticed a couple I want to keep my eye on. The man was notably nervous.” Sakusa said, reminding Atsumu that they had a mission to accomplish on this cruise.

“Maybe he’s just claustrophobic, or he doesn’t like the idea of being so deep underwater.”

Atsumu could relate to the last part. Sometimes he’d feel trapped, like the pressure of the water was actually weighing down on his chest. He’d never been more glad to be safely trapped in the sturdy metal structure.

“No, it was different than something primal like fear. His mind seemed very busy, like there were a lot of thoughts going through it.”

“Wait, how do you know his mind was busy? You can’t read thoughts, right?” Atsumu asked, suddenly uncertain of the information Sawamura had told him about Sakusa only being able to read emotions and the occasional flash of memory.

To his surprise Sakusa actually answered him. “I can sometimes get the general gist of what someone’s mental state is like, beside their emotions.”

“Oh okay,” Atsumu said, relieved. “How do you think we should start stalking?”

“After dinner I saw them signing up for a workshop, so I signed us up too. This way we’ll be able to shadow them.” He’d emphasized the word ‘shadow’, even though it was essentially the same as stalking right now. Atsumu knew he hated it when he called it stalking, that’s why he’d done so.

The cruise offered numerous activities and workshops, but they hadn’t gone to any of them, except for a beach ball tournament Atsumu had signed them up for on an impulse, which had proved to be a mistake, because Sakusa had been insufferable.

For the tournament all the contestants had been in teams of two people. It was room against room, so Sakusa and Atsumu had been team 201. Atsumu had been surprised to find out they had something in common after all: they’d both played volleyball in high school.

One would think that would’ve been an easy win for them against the other teams as two former volleyball players.

Except it wasn’t.

Atsumu wasn’t too proud to admit he had a weakness for Sakusa’s abs (he hadn’t seen them, but he was sure the fucker had them), but he liked them considerably less every time he’d slammed into them because Sakusa had gotten in the way when Atsumu had shouted ‘got it!’.

Eventually they’d gotten disqualified, because they had been taking too long arguing who was going to serve. That had been embarrassing.

Worst of all, Atsumu’s toes might never recover from how often Sakusa had stepped on them.

They hadn’t tried any other workshop’s after that, deciding that they could observe others while (separately) eating dinner too, and in the cinema or spa (separately too).

“Okay, when is it?”

“On the fifth day of the cruise after breakfast.”

Atsumu nodded in understanding, that was the day after tomorrow. Then he remembered an earlier thought that had crossed his mind. “Wait a second, we’ve been here for three days and I haven’t seen you eat. Not even once,” Atsumu remarked. “Do you ever eat?”

“Aww, is that you caring about my well-being?”

Sakusa didn’t even spare him a glance while saying that, instead busying himself with a book on his nightstand.

“I care about you as much as I care about the cactus in the corner of my room at home. Now that I think of it...” He pensively touched his chin, “I forgot to tell my best friend to water it, it’s probably dead by now — or maybe it has been dead all along. I don’t remember ever watering it.”

“I don’t think it’s the lack of water that killed it. It just couldn’t stand you anymore,” Sakusa said while sitting down on the bed. “A feeling I must say I share with the cactus.”

“Are you saying my presence killed the cactus?”, Atsumu said, ignoring the fact that Sakusa had just admitted to sharing feelings with a cactus. “Look at that, you might see me as dangerous after all.”

“Yes, from now on I’ll be extremely cautious around you with your cactus-killing capabilities.”

The fact that Sakusa was sitting with his back facing Atsumu, was the only reason Atsumu allowed his lips to twitch in a smile. The way Sakusa had said it sounded so ridiculous that Atsumu wanted to laugh, but he didn’t want to grant Sakusa the satisfaction of knowing he’d said something amusing.

So he suppressed it and cleared his throat.

Atsumu saw that Sakusa had grabbed a book from his night stand and was now moving backwards on the bed to sit with his back leaning against the headboard. He was obviously finished with the conversation, but Atsumu wasn’t ready to let the earlier topic go.

“But seriously Sakusa, even bridge trolls need food to function.”

“I eat, Miya," Sakusa stated in an annoyed tone.

“Are you saying you identify with a bridge troll? Because I can’t help but agree with that.”

“You don’t see me every second of the day, thankfully. And I’m just not as disgusting about it as you are. I mean really, crisps in bed?”

“Oh they’re not in bed yet,” Atsumu said threateningly, while slowly moving the bag towards Sakusa, tilting it slightly. “But I can make sure of that, don’t worry.”

Sakusa grabbed his wrist, before he could tilt the bag any further. “You do realize you have to sleep in this bed too, right?”

“Not on that part of the bed, I don't.”

“Very true,” Sakusa said, and he pushed Atsumu’s wrist towards him. He didn’t let go then, instead he started to tilt the bag on Atsumu’s half of the bed.

“No!”

Atsumu tried to stop him, but he quickly realized he’d seriously overestimated the size of his own biceps. He only managed to move the bag a bit more towards his pillow, before Sakusa slammed it down, while leaning over him with a knee planted in Atsumu’s stomach.

The shock and the awkward angle of his wrist made Atsumu let go of the bag. Sakusa snatched it and quickly dumped the contents on Atsumu.

And that’s how Atsumu ended up with crisps raining down on his face, sliding down his nose and disappearing into his hair. He could even feel a couple making their way into the collar of his shirt.

He already felt itchy, this had been a bad idea.

“Fuck,” Atsumu blurted ineloquently.

“I don’t have to read your emotions to know you’re regretting it already,” Sakusa commented.

He glared at Sakusa, who was still way too close, but in the blink of an eye Sakusa sat back down on his side of the bed and reopened his book.

Atsumu had resumed his breathing, after not having realized he’d stopped in the first place, and was unsure what to do now.

He ended up remaining unmoving on the bed for a moment, while watching Sakusa. How calmly Sakusa was reading now, was in stark contrast with the quick way he had sprung into action earlier and the blonde was still recovering from that.

Atsumu got up and tried to brush away the bugles from his side of the bed. He thought he was quite successful, until he looked closer and he could still see the orange residue and he could still feel the little crumbs that were stuck in the material of the sheets. The sheets were a weird combination of cotton and wool, the perfect environment for the little crumbs to be stuck in forever.

Deciding he’d deal with it later, he walked towards the bathroom to brush his teeth and take a shower.

“I may or may not have flooded the bathroom,” Atsumu said when he returned to the room a couple minutes later.

In his defense he hadn’t expected the rain shower setting to be that intense. He’d been curious to try it for the past few days now, since he’d never used a shower like that before.

The moment he’d turned it on, he’d realized the head was probably broken, because the water had just kind of sprayed everywhere.

Sakusa gave him an unimpressed glance, but otherwise stayed silent.

Atsumu grabbed a couple extra towels from the closet and returned to the bathroom to clean up the water. He hadn’t packed his rain boots and he suspected Sakusa hadn’t either.

When he came back from mopping the bathroom he saw Sakusa was no longer reading. He was laying facing away from the bathroom — the light had probably been bothering him.

It was completely dark outside, but Atsumu drew the curtains anyway. He didn’t really fancy waking up eye to eye with a hammerhead shark or whatever other sea creature was lurking in the shadows.

Atsumu quietly walked to his side of the bed and turned in for the night too.

Except that he was itchy. And he could feel the little crumbs everywhere.

He fluffed his pillow a bit, only to find another cone shaped culprit underneath it. Atsumu threw it on the ground and then flopped annoyedly on his back.

This sucked.

His mind thought of a solution and his body started to execute it, moving closer to Sakusa’s side of the bed.

And closer—

“What do you think you’re doing?”

“I’m not going to be able to sleep on those crisps crumbs, they’re fucking itchy,” Atsumu complained.

“Tough luck,” Sakusa replied without sympathy. “Now get back to your side. This is just another one of those situations where you should’ve thought things through. Now you’ll have to face the consequences.”

“Come on, Sakusa, it was hardly a big life decision. Besides, you need me clear headed for the mission, I won’t be if I can’t sleep tonight,” Atsumu reasoned.

“I don’t think I’ll notice the difference.”

“I’ll make you notice it by complaining about how tired I am and I’ll be yawning the entire time,” Atsumu drawled. “Just think of how extra annoying I’ll be.”

Sakusa seemed to contemplate that for a moment. “Fine, but no touching and tomorrow you’re asking the crew for new sheets.”

“Okay whatever,” Atsumu agreed. “It’s not like we’ll be the first couple who’s asked the crew for new sheets.”

He scooted even closer until he couldn’t feel the itchy stuff anymore.

He was surprised Sakusa hadn’t turned around yet, because he was still facing Atsumu even though they were lying so close. In the soft light coming from underneath the door to their room he could see Sakusa’s eyes were still open — they were watching Atsumu.

The moment felt intimate and Atsumu wanted to turn around to escape the intense and piercing gaze, but that felt like giving in, so he didn’t.

He didn’t know if Sakusa could see his eyes, but Atsumu could see the light reflected in his.

A random thought popped up in his head. “You know the funny thing is, even though I’m the one with the shield powers, you are the most closed off person I’ve ever met. A walking contradiction.”

It was such a shock to him that Sakusa didn’t respond to that. No it wasn’t.

The only thing Sakusa did was sigh and he turned to lay on his back. After a moment he turned his head the other way.

A thought popped up in Atsumu's head, did Sakusa sleep with the mask on his face?

He couldn’t check anymore because it was too dark and he was facing away from Atsumu. He’d never seen him without it, but sleeping with it on seemed a bit uncomfortable to Atsumu.

“Maybe you’re just always smiling underneath that mask, who knows,” Atsumu wondered out loud. “It’s still a mystery to me why you wear it so often.”

Sakusa didn’t respond to his prompts. It had barely been a minute so Atsumu was sure he was still awake.

“To me it seems like you don’t need it, because even if you were to take it off there’d still be one in place. I don’t think there’s even a single drop of emotion underneath it.”

“You must be proud of that one, very poetic,” Sakusa said sarcastically. “But we all wear masks, Miya, perhaps mine is more obvious, but it’s no different from yours.”

“What mask would that be?”

Atsumu felt offended. He prided himself on keeping things real and to have Sakusa basically call him fake, struck a nerve.

“A mask that prevents others from seeing how much your past weighs on you.”

“Oh you think you know me so well, you know nothing, Sakusa,” Atsumu snided. “You can’t even use your powers on me, you’re just guessin’.”

Atsumu wanted to roll away, but before he could do so, he realized why he was so close to Sakusa in the first place.

Fucking crisps, he’s never eating buggles again.

“Besides, I'm perfectly fine,” he added for good measure.

“Prove it then,” Sakusa dared, “take off your necklace.”

“What happened to ‘I don’t need that necklace gone to know what you’re up to’?" Atsumu imitated Sakusa’s deep voice while quoting him. He didn’t think he was successful, unless Sakusa had spontaneously transformed into Santa Claus.

“That is still true. Which is why I know you’re not okay, even though you’re insisting that you are.”

“Ugh, just fuck off.”

It was quiet, but Atsumu wasn’t done talking yet.

“I just think it’s hypocritical. You're able to tell what someone is feeling all the time, but you’re preventing other people from seeing your entire face, therefore it’s harder to read your emotions,” he pointed out.

“You need to see my mouth to tell how I feel?”

“No, but it might help. Your eyes are as dead as eyes can be.” Atsumu stretched his arms above his head to get rid of the cramp in his shoulder. “Word of advice: wear sunglasses 24/7 instead of a mask, it might make you appear friendly — perhaps even human.”

Okay, that might’ve been a bit harsh.

Sakusa was silent then, unmoving, almost as if he was actually hurt, like he was recovering from a blow. If Atsumu hadn’t been lying so close he probably wouldn’t have noticed, but he did. And he felt bad.

“Dead things can hold emotions too,” Sakusa said, his voice distant, cold and defensive.

“Was that supposed to be your attempt at wisdom? Because no they can’t. They’re dead, you can’t wake them up for another laugh. It’s like trying to feed a dead chicken: it’s not like it’s going to come back to life and lay another egg.”

Fantastic metaphor, Atsumu, if Sakusa didn’t think you were an imbecile, he definitely thinks so now.

“Not the dead things themselves, Miya. The dead things can evoke emotions in the living, therefore they still hold emotions.”

“Your dead eyes don’t evoke anything in me.”

Atsumu didn’t even know why he was still acting like an asshole, but perhaps Sakusa just brought it out in him. Sakusa brought out the worst in him — maybe not the worst, Kageyama still existed — and Atsumu didn’t like that he was able to do that.

“You and I both know that isn’t true,” Sakusa said. “Irritation and anger are still feelings.”

“That’s because of your personality. I promise you, your eyes have nothing to do with that. Quite the opposite actually.”

Atsumu had mumbled the last part, but Saksua picked up on it, because they were still lying so close.

“Quite the opposite you say?” Sakusa said and Atsumu could hear the amusement in his tone.

“Oh come on, you know you have pretty eyes,” Atsumu said nonchalantly, but he could feel himself blush. “They’re in stark contrast with your ugly personality.”

He wasn’t lying there. If Sakusa hadn't been such a jerk, he could’ve seen himself fall for those eyes alone. No matter how boring Sakusa was, his eyes made him look mysterious and enticing. The fact that in bad lighting you could barely distinguish pupils from iris made you keep looking, every time.

Maybe it’s just the mask that made Atsumu’s attention go to the uncovered part of his face, his eyes, Atsumu told himself.

“Are you sure about that? They say the eyes are the windows to the soul.”

“Well whoever they are, they obviously made a mistake,” Atsumu said. “And who knew you had such a romantic side to you? Maybe you won’t die alone after all.”

“Why? You offering?”

The comment was slightly out of character for Sakusa, so Atsumu didn’t really know what to say back. This was something he would say himself to tease Sakusa. It was weird Sakusa was now teasing him back.

Finally, Atsumu huffed in indignation. “No, I’m just saying there’s plenty of fish in the sea and all that.”

“That almost sounded nice.”

“I mean there’s plenty of your kind of fish.”

“My kind?”

“Yes, there’s a lot of despicable people with inflated ego’s out there—” he was interrupted by a yawn, his jaw clicking, “I’m sure you’ll find your match.”

“Thank you for reassuring me,” Sakusa replied sarcastically. “Now, if you don’t mind, I’m going to sleep.”

“What a shame,” Atsumu sighed. “I was just starting to enjoy our pillowtalk.”

Sakusa didn’t reply.

Atsumu stretched his arms above his head again, almost hitting Sakusa in the face (he’d felt him flinch). They’d been close to his chest for some time and it had started to become uncomfortable.

He rolled around with his back towards Sakusa, accepting the fact that his arms were now laying in the crumbles, and he tried to sleep.

A couple minutes went by and Atsumu became increasingly irritated with the residue of the bugles on his arms. He wrapped them around his own waist and scooted backwards slowly.

His back was met with either Sakusa arm or his back too, he couldn’t tell, but he was out of the crumbles so he stayed put. And Sakusa didn’t say a thing.

Just before he fell asleep, he thought back to Sakusa’s comment about how his own mask was no different from Atsumu’s. What part of Sakusa’s past was weighing on him?

When Atsumu woke up he could feel it was still very early, but his senses told him something was out of the ordinary.

He didn’t usually wake up with his head laying against a shoulder and a hand on his back.

He didn’t usually wake up plastered to Sakusa's side with Sakusa’s arm wrapped around him.

For a moment he froze, not knowing what to do. He noted Sakusa was still asleep laying on his back, if his slow steady breathing was anything to go by.

Since it was still very early, Atsumu preferred going back to sleep over rolling away. Besides, the hand on his back was preventing him from rolling away as well.

He’d never admit it to anyone, but it was kind of… nice? Sakusa was warm and the hand on his back was comforting. He only saw the pros of staying there, so Atsumu didn’t do anything, but go back to sleep.

Chapter Text

Barely awake, Atsumu sat at a table in the restaurant. When he’d woken up this morning, Sakusa had been gone already.

Atsumu felt frustrated with Sakusa. The insufferable know-it-all made it impossible for Atsumu to do anything else but bicker with him. Atsumu felt like he could never truly relax in Sakusa’s presence. There was always some underlying tension and it was driving him insane.

He wanted to text Rintarou about it, but Sawamura had advised against communicating too much during this mission. There was a high likelihood incoming signals were being monitored.

They had been given a highly encrypted phone to communicate with Sawamura, but he’d pressed that they’d only used it if they absolutely had to — or if they’d found the evidence and were ready for extraction.

So he had to deal with his frustrations about Sakusa alone.

“Can I sit?”

Atsumu paused in his furious stabbing at the sausage on his plate and looked up to see a man about his age standing there. He was holding a plate with breakfast foods on it.

Atsumu nodded.

“Azumane,” the man introduced himself. “Nice to meet you—”

“Miya,” he replied with a small smile.

“Sorry if this sounds a bit random, but me and a couple of mates are going to bowl after breakfast and I was wondering if you’d like to join. We’re short one person.”

“Well I’m honored you picked me,” he said charmingly, holding eye-contact.

And perhaps Atsumu was flirting just a little. The man was hot, okay? And Atsumu was bored. Fuck his weddingring.

“You looked like you could use a distraction.”

“You got that right, yeah,” Atsumu sighed as he looked at the sausage that looked like it had been regurgitated.

He didn’t even like bowling, but talking to someone other than Sakusa for a couple hours sounded heavenly.

“I made a mistake,” Azumane told him about an hour later.

Atsumu was in a team with Azumane and three of his friends. They were up against another team of five players, with whom Azumane also seemed familiar (the guy was really skilled at making friends apparently).

“You are absolutely terrible at this,” he said after Atsumu had thrown another ball right in the gutter.

Statistically speaking he should’ve hit at least one pin, right? He’d thrown at least ten balls already and still hadn’t even knocked down any pins. Throwing knives was easier, Atsumu decided, but throwing one at the pins probably wouldn’t go over well with his new friends.

“Well you know what they say about guys who are bad at bowling,” a guy with a buzzcut said, while wiggling his eyebrows.

“Please Tanaka, let’s not go there,” Azumane said, “the man is married.”

“Even better, we can ask the lucky wife or husband!”

Azumane rolled his eyes. “Tanaka remember what we talked about, private matters?”

“It’s okay,” Atsumu reassured him. “Husband, and if you see him you can ask him.”

Even though he knows Tanaka is most likely joking, he’d love to see how Sakusa would answer the question. Atsumu hopes he’ll be there when Tanaka ends up asking it.

“Don’t worry, I’ll definitely ask–”

Tanaka was interrupted by a guy with a bright shirt from their team.

“Tanaka, it's your turn.”

“Yes, yes, thank you,” Tanaka sighed and walked towards the lane.

“Just so you know,” Azumane said to Atsumu, “I don’t think he’s joking about asking your husband about your sexlife.”

“I hope he isn’t,” Atsumu smiled, “but he’ll probably be disappointed by the answer.

Azumane raised his eyebrows.

“I-,” Atsumu chuckled after realizing what that sounded like, “I just mean he—, my husband, is a private person. You probably won’t get the answer you’re hoping for.”

That much was true. Sakusa wasn’t really one to spill his secrets. But then again, he’d probably love to embarrass Atsumu.

After knocking down all pins but one, Tanaka returned to the couch.

Azumane just smiled at Atsumu and stood up for his turn.

“You are actually very good, Tanaka,” Atsumu remarked. “Should I feel sorry for your partner?”

Paradise couldn’t last forever unfortunately, because after dinner he did finally have to return to the room — and to Sakusa.

“You do realize we have a mission to complete?” Sakusa said as he entered the room.

“We hadn’t checked out the bowling alley,” Atsumu defended. “Besides, the guys I was with seemed to be all right. I don’t think they have anything to do with the smuggling.”

Atsumu saw Sakusa roll his eyes.

“Tonight we’re going to the kitchens,” he stated.

Atsumu scoffed. “Thank you for asking about my opinion about that, Sakusa.”

Sakusa abruptly turned around. He walked closer to Atsumu.

Atsumu wasn’t easily intimidated, so he stayed put. Even when Sakusa was only a couple feet away from him.

“I think you’ve misunderstood my earlier amiability,” Sakusa said lowly, being way too close to Atsumu. “I am still in charge, Miya.”

If Sakusa thought he’d been ‘amiable’ these past few days, he really needed a reality check. Atsumu would love to give him one right now, but Sakusa had been right about the other thing. He’d tried not to think about it for the past few days, but Sakusa was in fact in charge.

Experience-wise Sakusa definitely outranked him — Sawamura had told him so before the mission. Sakusa had apparently been on countless missions just like this one and it was true he was supposed to listen to him. Though that didn’t mean Atsumu was going to.

“I don’t care.”

Sakusa’s stare hardened.

Fuck personal space, Atsumu thought as he moved closer, only a couple inches separated them now.

“I’m setting an alarm for three o’clock tonight. We are checking the kitchens then,” Sakusa said, leaving no room for an argument, but Atsumu made room for one anyway.

“I am not going anywhere tonight.” He narrowed his eyes. “You can’t just order me around like that.”

"Do you know what being in charge means?”

The tension was palpable in the air, and Atsumu felt like he was standing on a volcano that was just about to erupt.

He slowly moved his hand towards the knife in his back pocket. It was unlikely he’d actually use it, but he felt threatened by Sakusa’s presence.

“Leave that knife where it is.”

Sakusa moved even closer.

“Or what?” Atsumu dared.

“Or I’ll call Sawamura to come and get you. I’ll personally make sure you’ll be fired from Xinmar then.”

Atsumu kept glaring at Sakusa, not saying a thing.

“What’s it going to be?”

Sakusa didn’t blink once while he stared at Atsumu's eyes. Atsumu wasn’t intimidated by him, just annoyed.

He dropped his hands by his sides anyways, because Sakusa’s threat would bring him further away from getting to his brother’s killer. He couldn’t risk that.

Deflating a bit, he took one step back, still looking at Sakusa.

“Just because you’re in charge, doesn’t mean I don’t get a vote in what we do.”

“What do you want then?” Sakusa countered easily.

“I–” Atsumu stuttered blushing, his mind blanking.

He didn’t know what he wanted to do differently, nothing probably. It had actually been a solid plan from Sakusa, just the way he’d announced it had rubbed Atsumu the wrong way.

“Fine Sakusa, have it your way,” he finally said. “We’ll go to the fucking kitchens at three o’clock.”

Atsumu startled awake and abruptly sat up. He hadn’t had any nightmares since going on the cruise and had started to think that maybe his nightmares couldn’t get to him so far beneath the cold water. Obviously he’d jinxed it.

The dream had been a combination of dark shadows moving around him, while Atsumu was powerless to stop them, and Osamu dying. The latter of the two things made him feel like crying as soon as he’d woken up.

He swung his legs over the side of the bed and folded his body forward, wrapping his arms around his stomach. The teardrops landed on his knees, Atsumu hated the feeling, but he was too sad to do anything about it.

There was no one to see him, no one to judge him for crying after waking up from a bad dream like a child. Osamu had been dead for three years, it shouldn’t still be affecting him this way.

He laid down on his side, too tired to stay seated. The tears kept coming, now slowly sliding over the bridge of his nose like they were unsure where to go, but they were forced on a path by gravity.

He was tensing his shoulders to stop the shaking — he didn’t want to accidentally wake Sakusa with the small earthquakes his body was going through — while he cried.

Atsumu felt pathetic, filled with self-pity and sadness; it almost felt like it was too much to handle himself.

He wanted his brother, his best friend, or anyone he was familiar with. Someone who knew him, cared about him.

This far underneath the surface of the sea — he’d never felt so alone.

Needing to clear his head, Atsumu climbed out of bed and walked to the door to the hallway.

He blinked a couple of times at the bright lights assaulting his eyes in the hallways. His eyes were now watering for a whole different reason. You’d think they dimmed the lights when it was nighttime, but apparently not.

His aimless stroll ended when he passed by the gym on the third floor.

He’d kind of let go of the strict training regimen he’d followed at Xinmar. In other words he hadn’t really done any physical activity since being on this cruise. Maybe hitting a punching bag would help him get rid of the restless energy he was feeling.

Who said breakdowns couldn’t be productive?

Inside the gym he grabbed a couple of boxing gloves, trying not to smell the sweaty smell of the countless hands that had been in them before him. While going without them would’ve spared him of the smell, the bruised knuckles would not be worth it; although it might’ve been more cathartic.

Eventually he’d kept the gloves on and he was now punching the bag with aggression usually only reserved for the caps stuck to a bottle for environmental reasons. He knew they were important to save the turtles and everything, but there were few things that could make him as aggressive.

In the past he’d tried to pull the caps off anyways, but he almost never succeeded; it was like they were superglued to the bottle.

It was good for the environment, just not for the environment around Atsumu, he thought to himself. He remembered a couple weeks ago when he’d been struggling to get one of those wretched things to come free, and Shouyou had offered him scissors out of sympathy — he’d thrown the whole bottle at his roommate then.

Obviously he'd apologized to Shouyou afterwards, but yes, it was safe to say Atsumu and bottle caps stuck to the bottle were not a good match.

“Try to-” Atsumu heard close to his ear.

It startled Atsumu so much that he jumped back and bumped against the punching bag. The punching bag in return bumped against him, causing him to be pushed forwards.

His outstretched hands found a chest.

And of course it was Sakusa, because who else would it be?

He immediately stepped back again, only to be hit again by the punching bag that was still swinging back and forth.

This time, however, he was more prepared for it and only stumbled a little, grabbing the bag to make it stop swinging.

“A bit jumpy are we?”

If he really thought about it, Sakusa made him feel the same as those damn bottle caps.

“Did I scare you?”

“Kind of an unnecessary question, don’t ya think?” Atsumu grumbled, still holding onto the punching bag so he wouldn’t be tempted to wrap his hands around Sakusa’s neck. “Why the fuck would you stand so close to me!”

“I didn’t think you’d be so jumpy,” Sakusa defended. “You should be more aware of your surroundings.”

“And you should-”

They were interrupted by the sound of footsteps, a lot of footsteps.

Cautiously Atsumu stepped away from Sakusa and made his way to the door, with Sakusa on his heels.

Atsumu slowly opened the door and saw a large number of people walking past it. They seemed to have no spatial awareness, constantly bumping into each other. But there were no half-muttered apologies or angry tones.

Just complete silence.

It creeped the hell out of Atsumu.

“What the fuck is happening to everyone?”

“I don't know," Sakusa said slowly. "Their minds feel sluggish like they’re about to fall asleep.”

Atsumu took off the boxing gloves.

“Whose minds?”

“All of them — at the same time,” Sakusa said ominously.

Atsumu’s eyes widened.

“Is there some kind of hallucinogen in the air?” Atsumu turned to him.

“We’re fine, so that's unlikely,” Sakusa said, still peering through the crack of the door above Atsumu’s head.

Atsumu looked back to the hallway. Sporadically passengers were still stumbling past. Passengers. Not crew members.

“We’ve seen about twenty people pass now,” Atsumu remarked. “None of them were crewmembers. What are the chances that’s a coincidence?”

The question had been rhetorical, so it wasn’t a surprise Sakusa hadn’t answered. He treated most of Atsumu’s questions like rhetorical ones anyways.

Most of the passengers were headed in the same direction: back to their rooms.

Atsumu closed the door and stepped back from Sakusa. He didn’t want to risk waking any of the passengers when discussing the situation with Sakusa.

“Are they being mind controlled?”

“No,” Sakusa stated definitively.

“How are you so sure?”

Sakusa gave him a pointed look. “Because you are completely fine. Your mind isn’t half-asleep like theirs.”

Atsumu raised his eyebrows in alarm. How could he have kn—

Fuck. The necklace.

“Don’t ever leave our room again without wearing it — especially not when I’m not near you,” Sakusa said angrily, stepping closer to him. “Do you hear me?”

Atsumu swallowed, knowing he’d really fucked up.

“You are so fucking careless.”

Atsumu looked away from him feeling guilty. If Sakusa had been near him he could’ve fended off any curious psychics, but Atsumu had been all alone. One mind reader could’ve given them away and compromised the mission.

He hadn’t just put his own life at risk, but Sakusa’s as well.

“I don’t have to explain to you how bad this could’ve been, Miya. You left our room in the middle of the night — which is bad enough as it is — without your necklace!”

“Sorry,” he said, his voice quiet because of the lump in his throat.

He didn’t know how to deal with Sakusa’s anger right now. Normally he’d have been arguing with Sakusa by now, but he knew he was right.

And if Atsumu was honest, he felt like shit. Waking up from a nightmare always left him feeling unsettled — not entirely used to reality yet.

Sakusa stepped back from him.

“Stop looking at me like your hamster died. You fucked up okay, but we still have a mission to complete.” Sakusa opened the door. “Let’s go to the kitchens now, the commotion seems to have died down a bit.”

Atsumu took a deep breath, suppressed everything he was feeling, and walked past Sakusa to go to the kitchens.

They hid from the guests numerous times on their way to the kitchens, but it didn’t seem to matter because the zombie passengers weren't really aware of their surroundings.

The kitchen was larger than Atsumu had expected, but he supposed the buffet had to come from somewhere.

Going through all the cabinets was pretty boring since they all had the usual stuff in them: plates, cups, pans, serving platters, etc.

“Miya,” Sakusa suddenly called. “Stop thinking about Ratatouille, please, it’s annoying.”

Sakusa must’ve caught some memory flashes in his mind.

“Come on, you can’t disagree this kitchen is a spitting image of the kitchen in that movie.”

It really was. He expected the rat to show up any minute now.

“That doesn’t mean I want to see a rat with a chef's hat and a spoon every couple minutes.”

Atsumu almost dropped the frying pan he was holding.

“Remy is fantastic! Let me think about him in peace.”

“I would, if you weren’t broadcasting your memories about him,” Sakusa said, rolling his eyes.

“Just don’t look at them.”

“It’s not that simple.”

Atsumu rolled his eyes. Then he flooded his mind with the image of middle fingers just to annoy Sakusa. Maybe he should—

“This cabinet is locked,” Sakusa said suddenly. “Do you see a key anywhere?”

That was odd for a kitchen. Perhaps they kept the money there. But why in the kitchen?

“The crew probably has it.”

“We should—”

Atsumu interrupted him. “Let me.”

He stepped past Sakusa.

“What are you gonna do? It’s locked, Miya.”

Atsumu ignored him.

With his powers Atsumu felt for the pins in the lock. Slowly sliding them out of place one by one — clearing the way so he could turn the mechanism.

With a small click the door of the cabinet opened.

Atsumu triumphantly turned around to Sakusa, who in return only narrowed his eyes and looked past Atsumu inside the cabinet.

Inside the cabinet Atsumu saw seven vials. Five were empty and two were filled with a blue kind of powder.

“If that’s the drugs they’re smuggling,” Atsumu said slowly, “then why are there so many empty bottles?”

Sakusa didn’t reply, but Atsumu could see he was wearing his thinking-face.

“We need to take some with us for testing,” Sakusa said finally.

In one of the drawers Atsumu found a stack of plastic bags — he took one and put on the gloves Sakusa handed him.

Carefully he uncorked the vial and shook a bit of the powder into the bag. Once they’d gathered enough, Atsumu quietly closed the cabinet again.

Cautiously, they made their way back to their room.

Atsumu realized that they were basically finished with the mission now. They’d gathered a sample of what was most likely the drug called Butterfly. The only thing left to do now was to go to the storage room to see if they can find some files to really build their case.

But other than that they were done. He could already feel the sun on his face again; freed from the confinements of the submarine and the shadow Sakusa always seemed to cast on his mood.

Then he remembered the sleepwalking passengers from a couple hours ago. They couldn’t leave until they’d figured out what was wrong with them.

Atsumu had wanted to evacuate all the people from the submarine, but Xinmar had refused. They’d texted back and forth with Shouyou, because Sawamura was busy apparently, and he’d told them they should figure out what was going on first, and then they’d come. It was probably precaution in case it was some kind of contagious virus, or whatever.

It wasn’t necessarily part of the mission, but it seemed like innocent people were suffering from something. Atsumu and Sakusa had silently agreed they’d stay put until they had figured it out.

Tomorrow when everyone was going to be at the party, they were going back to the storage room. Atsumu was nervous. Somehow he just knew they’d find something there.

Chapter Text

The party was… something.

The fact that you could barely see anything through the windows of the submarine was made irrelevant by the beautiful decorations. The walls were adorned with shimmering images of fish and other sea creatures. Helium-filled balloons trailed strings to mimic the appearance of jellyfish.

Most of the guests weren’t admiring the room like Atsumu was—or maybe they had earlier, and he was just late. Instead, they were enthusiastically making use of the open bar, so to speak.

In other words, they were very drunk.

Children probably weren’t allowed at the party, Atsumu thinks, he hadn’t seen any at least and it was far too late for them to be still up anyway.

About half an hour ago, he’d been convinced by a random group to dance with them. They were all in various states of inebriation and Atsumu had vaguely caught their names, immediately forgetting them as well.

Atsumu admitted that he did enjoy the uncoordinated dancing style the group seemed to have, and while he hadn’t had a drop of alcohol (he was a professional despite what Sakusa had said), he fitted in perfectly.

He was in the process of being spun around by a black-haired girl to his right, when a hand grasped his other hand. Thinking it was someone who wanted to make him spin around as well, he started rotating in the other direction.

The sudden change made him dizzy and he stumbled a bit before finding his footing again.

He was met with Sakusa’s slightly amused stare.

Atsumu felt his cheeks flush as he realized he’d just forcefully twirled himself around with Sakusa’s hand above his head.

He pressed his lips together as he dropped their clasped hands from above his head.

He’d meant to let go of Sakusa’s hand immediately, but Sakusa held his hand firmly as he started to drag Atsumu away from the party.

Finally Atsumu remembered their plan to go through the boxes in the storage room he’d found earlier. With all the guests and most of the crew occupied, it was the perfect time.

To an unknown observer they might’ve seemed like a couple eager to get back to their room for some alone time, but Atsumu knew that they were both eager for a different type of ‘action’.

The type that would end this cruise for them so they could go home.

And of course take down another Butterfly smuggling route.

In that order.

They slipped into the storage room, glancing over their shoulders for any signs of pursuit. The hallway behind them remained blissfully empty.

The room looked just as Atsumu had seen it earlier.

It was lit with one lightbulb in the middle of the room. Bookcases lined the walls, each packed with boxes, and more, stood in neat rows across the center of the room.

Without a word, they began rifling through the boxes packed with files

Atsumu scanned through the first box and found himself disappointed at the contents; it held a lot of employee contracts in it. Another disappointing box followed, this time with some permits.

After a few minutes of silence only broken by the ruffling of papers, Atsumu spoke.

“This box has a lot of financial records in it. Do you think they might keep track of the money they make from the drugs in these records? It’ll take hours to go through them, can’t we just take them with us as–”

“Miya,” Sakusa called suddenly, interrupting him.

“Yeah? You find something or—” Atsumu turned toward him, abandoning his box

“Quiet.”

Sakusa’s chin was slightly raised as if he was listening to something.

Atsumu wanted to throw back a comment about how they weren't in the military and Sakusa had no business ordering him like that, but Sakusa abruptly tensed and moved to stand behind the shelves with Atsumu.

“There’s two people coming our way. I think they’re looking for something, but I’m not sure.”

“Can’t you send them away or something? You know, make them terrified so they’ll run away screaming.”

“I–,” Sakusa frowned, “I can’t reach them. They might be psychic, or something is blocking my powers.”

They quickly threw the papers back in the boxes and tried to put them back on what was hopefully the right shelf.

“They’ll be here any second.” Sakusa started unbuttoning the buttons of his shirt.

“What—,” Atsumu didn’t finish his sentence, because he realized what Sakusa was doing. They needed an explanation as to why they were here. There weren’t many excuses two people could have for being in a locked storage room together — fully clothed

Atsumu unbuttoned a couple of his buttons as well, while Sakusa walked closer to him. The blond tried not to make his hesitancy apparent, but the moment Sakusa came into his personal space he took a step back.

“Come on Miya, where is that loud confidence and impulsivity now?” he said mockingly. “If you have a better idea I’m all ears, but I don’t see another way out of this.”

“S-sorry, I-, n-no you’re right. I shouldn’t make a fuss about this,” Atsumu stuttered, suddenly feeling insecure.

“Never apologize for having boundaries,” he said sternly, scowling. His earlier playfulness had changed to a more serious demeanor. “However, currently those boundaries could mean possible death, so you need to make a choice, quickly.”

It wasn’t really a choice, his uneasiness wasn’t worth his life, he decided. “Fuck it. Okay, go ahead.”

“Lean back against the shelf. I’m going to put my hands in your hair and kiss your neck, okay?” Sakusa’s clear voice lacked his usual coldness, instead it had a more gentle tone to it.

Atsumu nodded and took a small step back to lean against the wooden structure. Sakusa slowly stepped closer to him, leaving an inch of space between them. Swiftly, he moved his hands towards Atsumu’s hair. Not really applying any pressure just putting them there.

The fact that Sakusa had explicitly stated what he was going to do, had calmed him a little bit. He might not like the guy, but he knew he kept to his word. When Sakusa said he’d do something, he’d do it.

They both heard voices coming from the hallway. The footsteps indicated they were standing just outside the door.

When Atsumu turned back to the man in front of him he felt Sakusa’s hair tickle his face. Atsumu felt the warm air from Sakusa’s breath on the shell of his ear. He almost shivered, but fortunately he could suppress it.

“Close your eyes.”

The last thing Atsumu wanted to do right now was close his eyes, but he knew Sakusa was right. You didn’t need Sakusa’s powers to tell that Atsumu was scared. With his eyes open he looked like a frightened deer and they hadn’t even gotten caught yet.

Atsumu’s breathing quickened, but he listened to him — trying not to squeeze his eyes shut too much. The fingers in his hair tilted his head back a bit so it rested against the wood as well.

It wasn’t only the people threatening to come inside that made him anxious. The intimacy of the situation made him feel vulnerable. This was different than bullying himself into Sakusa space, like he’d done with the crisps situation. The atmosphere had been completely different and Atsumu had been in control of the situation.

Now Sakusa was towering over him, even though he was only about an inch or two taller, and it made him feel trapped. It probably had something to do with his past captivity, but that was a train of thought he’d follow later. Later — when there weren’t lips pressing soft kisses to his neck — he’d let himself think about it.

“Put your hands on my back.”

He hadn’t seen it earlier, but apparently Sakusa had completely shrugged off his dress shirt, so Atsumu’s hands were met with the bare warm skin of his back. The skin was soft, but the muscles were anything but, they were rigid, completely tensed. That was the only sign to Atsumu that Sakusa wasn’t all that comfortable with this either.

The door softly creaked open. It had been too soft for anyone to hear, unless they were listening to it.

Sakusa’s lips moved to a particularly sensitive spot on his neck. It made Atsumu take in a sharp breath, and for a moment he felt something else besides nervousness.

He felt tingles all the way up his spine, and Sakusa’s hands briefly tightened in his hair, as if he could feel it too. Later back in their room he’d tell himself he’d imagined it, but it felt as if Sakusa lingered there for a moment.

Atsumu’s eyes fluttered open a bit, feeling nervous and embarrassed, but then he realized Sakusa couldn’t have known what Atsumu was feeling since he was wearing the emerald necklace.

Once Sakusa had moved to a safer place, Atsumu let go of the breath he’d been holding. He closed his eyes again; all his thoughts were floating by slowly.

It was weird he hadn’t even seen the lips that were currently touching his throat. Atsumu didn’t even remember Sakusa taking off his mask.

His left hand slid lower to Sakusa’s ribs, feeling them expand with Sakusa’s breathing. Sakusa was breathing steadily, maybe a little fast, it helped to ground Atsumu and caused his fear to subside a bit.

“Whoops, sorry.” A woman’s voice sounded and Atsumu turned his head. He saw the woman was holding the hand of her partner. They’d finally spotted Sakusa and him behind the bookcase. “This spot has been taken already.”

Atsumu felt relief flood his body. It was just a couple looking for a hookup spot.

“Don’t worry about it,” Sakusa said, amicably, moving away from Atsumu slightly. “It was naive of us to think we were the only adventurous people on this cruise.” He wore a friendly smile.

Sakusa was smiling.

Atsumu had never seen him smiling. It looked foreign on his face, yet at the same time it seemed to suit him perfectly.

“The gym three doors down is pretty abandoned right now,” Sakusa told them. “You might have more luck there.”

“Thanks, we’ll have a look.”

“Have fun,” Sakusa said, the warm smile never disappearing from his face.

Apparently Sakusa had discovered his charisma.

“You too,” the woman said, “well again.” She winked before turning around.

“I think that won’t be a problem, huh darling?” Sakusa said, turning back to Atsumu.

The couple laughed and closed the door behind them, leaving them alone once more.

Sakusa took a step back, breathing out a sigh in relief.

“Should’ve known you’d be an exhibitionist,” Atsumu said, while running a hand through his hair. It felt like he could finally take in a breath of fresh air.

“You should thank me for thinking of a solution before we got caught elbow deep in files.” Sakusa scowled at him.

“No, where did that smile go?” Atsumu exclaimed, dragging out the “o” dramatically. “Does your charismatic side automatically activate the exhibitionist side of you?”

Sakusa ignored him. “We should hurry. Let’s take pictures of the files we think might be relevant and then get the hell out of here.”

Atsumu sighed and began photographing the files he’d placed in what he had deemed the ‘suspicious pile’.

It took them about half an hour until they were finally at the last box. Atsumu’s eyes hurt from the amount of pages he had to go through and the letters had started to blur together.

Suddenly Atsumu’s blood ran cold at the name at the bottom of a letter from a donator: Kageyama Tobio. The letter told him Kageyama had made a donation to the submarine cruise they were currently on. Atsumu felt nauseous. The donation had been recent and there was a short note with it:

,,To my dear friend Mateo,

I’d like to express my gratitude to you and the crew of the Soloaquiem for supporting our cause.

Sea you later!

Kind regards,

Kageyama Tobio”

Beside the bad pun, Atsumu took notice of the informal writing and the fact that it had been addressed to the captain of the submarine. It was evident that they knew each other well.

After taking a picture, he walked towards Sakusa to show him the note too, but before he could say anything, Sakusa stiffened, his eyes darting toward the door.

“Fuck,” Sakusa cursed, as he pushed Atsumu against the bookcase once more.

This time quicker and very roughly. One of the shelves dug harshly into Atsumu’s back and another one would’ve collided with his head, if it hadn’t been for Sakusa’s hand. The box they had been going through fell to the ground and Atsumu had dropped the letter.

To avoid falling sideways, Atsumu wrapped his arms around Sakusa’s waist, who was very, very close to him all of the sudden.

“What are you—”

Sakusa pressed his hand against Atsumu’s mouth. Panic and anger surged through Atsumu, when Sakusa buried his face in the crook of his neck again.

What the fuck is he doing?

Atsumu was preparing himself to break free from Sakusa and throw a right hook to his jaw, when the door banged open.

He startled and tightened his arms around Sakusa’s back, causing Sakusa to fall forward a bit, before catching himself on a shelf. Atsumu could feel his teeth bump into the delicate skin of his neck and it had almost startled him more than the sound of the door.

Sakusa’s hand moved from Atsumu’s mouth to his cheek to mimic the gentleness of a lover’s caress.

“Hello, who’s there?” A booming voice sounded through the storage room.

Loud footsteps quickly walked past the bookcase and a man came into view. Atsumu recognized him, it was a crewmember. He’d seen him in the dining room a couple of times.

Sakusa stopped kissing his neck and turned his head to look at the man as well.

“You are not supposed to be here. This space is crew only.”

Atsumu’s heart jumped to his throat.

“Oh-” Sakusa cleared his throat. “Hi, we’re really sorry. My husband and I were just having some fun. We accidentally knocked over some boxes.”

Atsumu found his voice again and smiled sheepishly. “Yeah sorry for the mess, we’ll clean it up quickly don’t worry.” He moved upright and brought his hand to his neck to amplify the impression he gave off of being ashamed.

The man eyed them, wearily, but apparently decided to let it go for now. “Just go back to your room sirs, the crew will take care of the boxes.”

“Yes, of course,” Sakusa said, and moved his hand to Atsumu’s back to lead him out of the room. “Again we’re really sorry.”

Sakusa picked up his shirt from the floor and put it on, not bothering with the buttons, in a hurry to get out of there.

They were almost at the end of the hallway when Atsumu had enough. “You can take your hand off my back, no one is watching us anymore.”

“There’s blood on your shirt, I don’t want people getting suspicious,” Sakusa mumbled, keeping his hand lightly on Atsumu’s back.

“Oh, it’s probably from that shelf. You couldn’t have been a bit more gentle, could you?”

Sakusa unlocked their door with the keycard and ushered Atsumu in first, before following him and closing the door behind himself.

“That crewmember was going to come in any second.”

“Why didn’t you know he was coming longer in advance, like with the couple?” Astumu questioned. “Having a slow day?”

Atsumu suddenly became aware of the fact that he was breathing a bit quicker than usual. Now that he thought about it, he did feel a bit jittery. Something was wrong. His mind went back to the note he’d seen, to the cheque given by Kageyama.

“The man is a psychic,” Sakusa said as he buttoned up his shirt — his mask already in place. “That’s why it took me so long to notice him. His mind is better shielded.”

“Great,” he said, instead of retorting something else.

He really needed to be alone. Now.

“Well, I’m going to have a shower,” he said as casually as he could.

“Wait,” Sakusa said, reaching for Atsumu, but thinking better of it when Atsumu had already stopped walking.

“What is it?”

“Your back, let me check it. There’s quite some blood, you might need stitches.”

“I'll be fine,” he replied curtly, turning back towards the bathroom.

“If you’re fine, then there’s no harm in me checking it,” Sakusa interrupted.

“Why are you suddenly concerned about my well-being?” The annoyance he was feeling helped to keep the growing feeling of panic in his chest at bay. “Did that psychic do something to you? Should I call Sawamura?”

“Stop trying to be funny. I just need to make sure you don’t make a bloodbath of our sheets tonight. It might raise some questions.”

“Patching me up won’t stop tonight’s bloodbath, you know.”

“If you’re referring to your earlier violent tendencies towards me, I’ll take my chances,” Sakusa retorted easily. “Now turn around and lift up your shirt.”

He knew the wound was somewhere on the middle of his back, making it impossible for him to reach it well — or even see it without a mirror.

Atsumu sighed, he needed Sakusa’s help. He turned around, grabbed the collar of his shirt and pulled it upwards a bit.

He could tell Sakusa stepped closer and bent down to see it better. Atsumu felt Sakusa lifting the hem of the shirt a little bit higher, his knuckles briefly scraping along Atsumu’s back.

After a moment Sakusa spoke. “It looks pretty superficial, just long.”

“Okay, good,” Atsumu said tensely, dropping his shirt and turning back around. “Who knew shelves would be that sharp?” he wondered out loud, trying to ease the tension he felt.

“After your shower, I’ll put a bandage on it,” Sakusa said.

Atsumu nodded, gathered some random clothes and headed towards the bathroom

Before he closed the door Sakusa called after him. “Miya, are you okay?”

His tone of voice threw Atsumu off a bit. He could tell Sakusa was genuinely asking him without a trace of sarcasm or mockery.

“I–, yes.”

He wasn’t, but he needed to be alone for a minute. It didn’t have anything to do with the wound on his back, or Sakusa kissing his neck earlier, and everything to do with the letter he’d seen earlier. Maybe the shower would help with the overwhelming sense of dread he was feeling.

Like always, he’d taken off his necklace before showering, but that proved to be a mistake.

“Come on Miya, I can feel you freaking out in there.”

The panic had come back the moment he was done showering, but he soldiered on and had managed to dress himself, before sinking down to sit on the floor. Had Kageyama been on this cruise too? Was he here now? He should feel angry and vengeful at the thought, but he just felt overwhelmed and scared. No, he can’t be here, they would’ve seen him by now.

“What? You gonna say I need to count to ten and breathe? I wouldn’t do that if I were you. I’ll use the…,” he gasped in a breath, “...pressure in your lungs to explode them, see if you can breathe then,” he threatened. “I’ll even fucking count for you.”

Yes, Atsumu had the gift to have a panic attack and still be a jerk to Sakusa — what can he say? He’s talented.

“Will you please come out,” Sakusa said, more gently than Atsumu was used to from him. “We need to talk.”

“Sakusa, I don’t want to talk to you.” Astumu couldn’t keep the panic and exhaustion out of his voice. “If I need another reminder that my brother is dead, I’ll come to you. Other than that, leave me alone.” Atsumu said, referring to the argument they’d had shortly after they’d first met, when Sakusa had said some pretty rude things. He probably hadn’t been all that kind either, but he didn’t care about that right now.

“Miya-”

“You are not the person I go to when I want to have a heart to heart.” Atsumu spat out, annoyed that he even had to tell Sakusa that.

“I know that, Miya,” Sakusa responded, pausing for a moment before adding. “But I don’t think you go to anyone to have that heart to heart.”

Even though Atsumu’s thoughts were jumbled and he could barely see his hands, he registered Sakusa’s words and he hated how invasive Sakusa’s statements felt.

“Have you ever talked about what happened during the time you were Kageyama’s captive? Before you say it, your hamster doesn’t count.”

“He is a good listener, I’ll have you know,” Atsumu said weakly.

Atsumu closed his eyes, and a sudden sadness came over him. Was this Sakusa? Was he seriously messing with his emotions at a time like this? His panic grew at the thought.

He used the edge of the bathtub to get himself upright and he stumbled to the sink to grab the necklace. His hands were shaking so much he almost dropped it again. Fastening the clasp seemed impossible, his vision blurring with tears, but he succeeded when he used the mirror after a couple tries.

The feeling didn’t disappear.

It was his own, and that was even more scary.

Atsumu sat down on the edge of the bathtub and closed his eyes again, trying to will the tears back in his eyes. His fists clenched as he fought the sadness. He couldn’t escape it.

The panic came back in full force. He was trapped.

“...Miya, Miya can you hear me?” a voice echoed in his ears. “You’re having a panic attack. It’s...”

The voice faded away.

Atsumu knew he was having a panic attack, but knowing that didn’t calm him down.

He was trapped. He needed to see the sky, to feel the breeze on his skin, to breathe in fresh air.

“...feel really scared right now, but it’ll pass.”

Atsumu recognized Sakusa’s calm voice talking to him.

“You can keep the door closed if you want, but I think you’ll feel better if you open it.”

The bathroom walls did feel suffocating, opening the door didn’t seem like that bad of an idea. But would he be able to do so?

The door flew open — maybe his powers had something to do with that — and Atsumu stormed out of the bathroom, immediately heading for another door.

He never reached the door to the hallway, because he got pulled back.

“No, I need to go!” he yelled. He realized two arms were the reason he couldn’t get to the door—they'd encircled his waist. “Let me go! I can’t breathe here! I need— outside!”

“I’m sorry, but you can’t go outside Miya,” Sakusa said, sounding a bit strained.

That was probably due to the fact that Atsumu was currently impersonating an eel.

And quite successfully so, because he escaped. He vaguely registered his necklace falling, but it didn’t matter because he was free.

However, the moment he pulled the door open, it got slammed shut again.

“Miya, I know it’s hard, but you have to think clearly now.” His voice had turned harsh.

“Let me go, you bastard!”

“If you go out there you’re endangering the lives of everyone aboard by trying to find a way out of here. We are underwater. If you blast through the wrong wall the water pressure will crush everyone here.”

“I–,” Atsumu began, but he couldn’t think. He just had to get out of here. It didn’t matter where to, just away from here.

He’d just started pulling on the door handle again, when it all stopped.

His body went limp, his muscles relaxing all at once, causing Atsumu to fall forwards against the door. Before he could tumble to the ground, two arms caught him around his waist and slowly guided him towards the floor.

“Sorry, I overshot it a bit.” He heard Sakusa say, his voice sounding very close. “Your fear was so intense, I thought you needed more to calm down than you did.”

Warm waves of comfort were coursing through his body, effectively relaxing him. His mind didn’t feel very calm, his thoughts were still racing through his head. He wanted those thoughts to stop too. 

Why had he caused such a scene?

He was embarrassed Sakusa had seen him like that—speaking of Sakusa, he realized his back was leaning against Sakusa’s chest and his head was resting on his shoulder.

“I hate you,” Atsumu brought out weakly, his voice breaking.

“I know, Miya,” Sakusa said soothingly. “It’s okay, you can hate me.”

The arms around him moved him upright a bit, before gently pulling him back again against Sakusa’s chest. Sakusa was sitting against the wall with his legs on either side of Atsumu. He’d put one of his hands near Atsumu’s collarbone and the other one on his underarm.

It was comforting and if Atsumu hadn’t felt so annoyed with Sakusa, he was sure he would’ve cried.

“I want to send you out there to drown with the fish.”

“You don’t want that, but it’s okay if you did,” Sakusa replied soothingly.

Atsumu wanted to hit him for being so okay with whatever he said, but his arms just wouldn’t cooperate – he felt sluggish. It was kind of similar to the feeling of being drunk.

“I hate your stupid powers.”

“I do too, sometimes,” Sakusa confessed.

Atsumu had had enough of his placating tone. “You’re just agreeing with me, so I don’t go back to trying to get out of here,” he said sharply.

“Partially, yes. I mean if you look over there,” Sakusa said, pointing at the window. “Do you see that octopus at the bottom left corner?”

“Hmmhm,” Atsumu hummed in agreement, if a little confused where Sakusa was going with this.

“I think I’ll have an octopus to keep me company while drowning. I don’t see any fish near us.”

Atsumu smiled, not quite laughing.

They were quiet for a moment. Atsumu could feel the calmness in his body slowly beginning to fade.

“Are you angry at me for using my powers to calm you down?” Sakusa asked suddenly.

“I don’t think so, no,” Atsumu replied honestly. “I was endangering a lot of lives and the mission. You were right to do what you did.”

“Hmm, okay,” Sakusa sounded puzzled. “Good.”

“Are you surprised I’m not angry?”

“A little, but no, that’s not it,” Sakusa said mysteriously.

“I’m not always as unreasonable as you paint me out to be,” Atsumu pointed out.

Sakusa didn’t take the bait to start bickering again. “I asked, because you feel angry.”

“Oh, yes I’m angry, but maybe for once I’m not angry at you,” he admitted.

“Who–”

“Why does it matter who I’m angry at right now? Stop being all in my business.” Atsumu untangled himself from Sakusa and stood up from the ground. “Where is that fucking necklace?”

He made his way to the bathroom, before remembering he’d put it on before leaving the bathroom, so he walked back towards Sakusa.

When Atsumu had gotten up, Sakusa had stayed seated, staring at Atsumu. He was still doing so and Atsumu was surprised to see he didn’t look judgemental or disdainful. The expression he wore was more like resignation.

“I put it in your pocket.”

Atsumu quickly drew it from the pocket of his hoodie.

“Fuck,” he hissed when he saw that the clasp was bent in a weird way, making it impossible for him to fasten it.

“Here, let me,” Sakusa said, motioning to the necklace.

He stood up from the ground.

“It’s broken,” Atsumu said, but he gave it to him anyway.

Sakusa fiddled with the necklace a bit before saying: “Turn around.”

Astumu saw the diamond-shaped emerald dangle in front of his face, before it made contact with his skin again. It felt weirdly intimate to have Sakusa fasten the necklace for him.

Sakusa was willing to help Atsumu to an object that would take away the power he had over Atsumu. Atsumu didn’t know how he felt about that.

“I was curious, because it felt like self-loathing,” Sakusa said before stepping back.

The relief Atsumu had felt when the necklace was hanging around his neck again immediately disappeared at Sakusa’s comment.

“Like I said,” Atsumu said irritably while turning around to face Sakusa, “it’s none of your fucking business.”

“You shouldn’t be mad at yourself for panicking.”

Atsumu sighed. “It shouldn’t have happened.”

“No, but it’s not your fault. Sometimes these things just happen.”

“It wouldn’t have happened if I’d just accepted the help that was offered to me during all these years.”

Atsumu looked away in shame, he hated that he’d just shared that with Sakusa.

He hadn’t consciously noticed it until Sakusa had said it, but the anger he’d felt towards himself had turned into self-hatred over time.

“You have no way of knowing that, Miya, and you did the best you could. You stayed calm when we almost got caught going through the files, even though you were uneasy with what we had to do,” Sakusa said, his words sounded uncharacteristically kind to Atsumu. “The panic attack you had, was when we were safely in our room.”

“I did try to escape,” Atsumu countered, looking at his hands.

“Yes, you tried and I stopped you. Nothing happened, Miya.”

“I guess.”

He still felt like he should’ve done better, that disappointment had settled deep in his bones and made his chest feel heavy; it wouldn't just disappear with a couple comforting words.

Still, it was good to hear that – even if it was from someone he dislikes.

“I still need to put a bandage on your wound,” Sakusa said, effectively changing the topic.

“Surely that’s closed by now.”

“Have you seen the back of your hoodie? It probably reopened from your...”, Sakusa paused, “struggling,” he decided.

Atsumu twisted around to see the back of the hoodie and realized Sakusa was right. He turned back around before taking off the bloodied garment, since he was going to have to change anyway.

The lighting in this part of the room was better, so he knew for sure Sakusa could see the several thin lines on his back. They were the physical manifestation from the memories Kageyama had left behind from his torture. Atsumu didn’t care that Sakusa saw them, but it did make him feel a bit uneasy. He was afraid Sakusa would taunt him, or worse, ask questions.

Sakusa did neither of those things. “Wait a sec, I need to grab the bandages from my bag.”

He left Atsumu to wait awkwardly in the middle of the room, while he ruffled through his bags.

Atsumu turned around and glanced out of the window, seeing the octopus had disappeared.

“Why are you so nice all of the sudden?” Atsumu asked.

“What do you mean?” Sakusa had found what he had been searching for and walked towards Atsumu.

“Normally you’d jump at the chance to make fun of me. This whole situation seems like a perfect opportunity to do so.”

Atsumu saw a lonely jellyfish floating around. Was it really lonely? Could jellyfishes notice it when they were alone?

“I like my victims to be at full strength, before I tear them down — more fun that way.”

Atsumu could tell he was joking. He thinks. He hopes?

“Yeah, cause you’re all about fun,” Atsumu said sarcastically.

Atsumu startled at the hand suddenly finding his shoulder. “It’s easier if you sit down for a moment.”

The hand was surprisingly warm and pleasant, but Atsumu shrugged it off anyway.

“Why? Am I too tall for you?”

“Do you really have to fight every suggestion I give you?”

The blonde sat down and crossed his arms. “You’re lucky I’m tired.”

“Just when I thought miracles never happened,” Sakusa sighed.

Atsumu flinched slightly as Sakusa dabbed around the wound with a cloth. It stung, but he didn’t pull away.

“By the way, I’m taller than you,” Sakusa said in response to Atsumu’s earlier comment.

Atsumu’s lips curled into a small smile, glad everything between them seemed to be back to normal.

“Miya,” Sakusa said as he finished bandaging the wound, sounding serious. “I should’ve told you this earlier, but–”

“Sakusa, I’m done talking, okay. It’s been a long day and I’m exhausted.”

He let his arms slump to his sides and walked towards the closet to get a new sweater, or a T-shirt. He was feeling quite warm.

“Please listen to me.”

From the corners of his eyes he saw Sakusa taking off his mask, that’s what drew Atsumu’s attention to him.

“Look, about my earlier comments about your brother, I’d like to apologize for them. It wasn’t right for me to say that — I was really overstepping.”

He stood up from the bed, walking closer to Atsumu.

“It was not just overstepping, Sakusa, you crossed a line, multiple lines. You literally said: ‘you do know he’s dead right?’” Atsumu made quotation marks with his fingers. “Why the fuck would I need a reminder of that?”

“No, you’re right. It was a low blow and really insensitive.”

“And rude.”

“Yes and rude,” Sakusa easily agreed.

“And dickish.”

“Yes, that too. I’m sorry.”

The fact that he’d taken off his mask made Atsumu aware how serious and sincere Sasuka was about this. He really did seem like he was sorry. And Atsumu couldn’t help but feel surprised to see Sakusa acting so genuine.

“If you’re waiting for an ‘apology accepted’, you’re not getting it,” he said while grabbing a random T-shirt from the closet.

“I understand.”

“Yet,” Atsumu added. “First I’ll let you feel some more remorse. I think a little extra remorse would do you some good,” he said, lightly.

It was nice of him to apologize, but Atsumu had told the truth; he wasn’t ready to forgive him. That was not something a decent person would say to someone.

However, Atsumu felt better than he’d felt these past few days on the cruise. It felt as if they’d accepted their mutual dislike and that formed a strange connection. He might not have forgiven Sakusa yet, but he felt something had changed, something in the dislike he had for Sakusa

Atsumu pulled the T-shirt over his head, brushed his teeth, and quickly dove into the bed.

Sakusa turned off the lights, but before Atsumu went to sleep, he had something to say. “Thank you for apologizing.”

“That’s not something you need to thank me for,” Sakusa replied, “I should’ve done it way sooner.”

“If you promise to not bring up my brother in a fight again, or anything else that is equally off limits, we’re good.” He had probably said it a bit jokingly, but he was very serious.

“Deal,” Sakusa said sincerely.

“Well, it’s not a ‘forgiven and forgotten’ kind of good, but more of a ‘let the past be the past’ kind of good,” he said, giving his previous statement more nuance.

“All right.”

“Good.”

They were quiet for a moment.

“Now that we’ve turned over a new leaf…” Sakusa began, breaking the silence.

Atsumu shifted to get more comfortable.

“Does this mean I can sleep with both eyes closed?”

He was referring to Atsumu’s earlier threat about drowning him in sulfuric acid.

“Not a chance. The special sulfuric acid supply is still for the hypocritical arrogant prick, even though he apologized.”

Chapter Text

Atsumu woke up first the next morning, feeling energized to start the day. He quietly got up, dressed himself, and freshened up a bit before he slipped out the door.

Last night’s memories kept replaying in his head — Sakusa kissing his neck, Sakusa calming him down when he’d lost it, Sakusa apologizing.

Everything was Sakusa.

Atsumu felt so confused. He didn’t know what to think of Sakusa.

He did know that he didn’t want Sakusa kissing his neck like that again. Not when Sakusa didn’t want it at least.

A couple of days ago he’d have denied even being attracted to Sakusa, but now he let himself indulge in the thought; more sharp intakes of breath, this time from Sakusa too. Atsumu’s lips exploring Sakusa’s skin like he was conquering an empire. Sakusa’s eyelashes hiding his blown-wide pupils as they fluttered shut.

Desire burned in his stomach and he hated himself for it. How had the strong hatred and disgust gone to mere dislike — and lust?

He'd always thought of Sakusa as a shallow person and Atsumu prided himself on having more dignity than sleeping with someone like that. But–

His train of thought broke when he noticed a crouched figure in the hallway.

The closer Atsumu came, the more concerned he became. The man had folded his arms around his stomach and was slowly rocking back and forth, obviously in pain.

“Hey, are you all right?” Atsumu asked, concerned.

The man mumbled vaguely, still clutching his stomach.

“Do you want me to get a doctor for you?”

He looked around, hoping to see anyone who could help. The hallway was abandoned. It appeared he was on his own for this one.

The man really didn’t look good.

Suddenly the man turned his head towards the side as if he saw something. His eyes were wide and panicked. Atsumu followed his gaze but there was nothing there.

The panicked man did it again, but this time towards the other side, while his eyes were darting left, right, up, down — everywhere.

Atsumu stopped trying to follow the gaze of the man. He was hallucinating.

He’d stopped holding his stomach and didn’t seem to be in pain anymore, but he was still completely out of it.

“Can you hear me?” Atsumu tried.

He didn’t respond, still moving his head around like it was too loose on his neck and he had no choice but to move it. He didn’t stop moving, not even for a second.

“What is it? What do you see?”

The man whimpered. “I-its t-too fast,” he said. Due to his panicked state, the man's voice was higher than Atsumu had expected it to be. “I try to– I c-can’t…I–see…”

He was now staring just over Atsumu’s shoulder.

But he wasn’t there anymore. Was he—

Atsumu checked his pulse. Thankfully his heart was still beating, but mentally the man wasn’t there anymore.

“Hello?” he said, shaking the man’s shoulders. “Hello? Can you hear me?”

The man didn’t respond.

“Keep walking, Miya.” He heard someone say behind him.

Atsumu twisted around so quickly he felt dizzy.

It was Azumane — the guy he’d bowled with earlier. He grabbed Atsumu’s arm and started to drag him through the hallway.

They stopped at the cinema and Azumane pushed him inside.

Atsumu’s heart was pounding. The cinema was abandoned and the emergency sign was the only light source.

Azumane closed the door behind them.

“Azumane what–," he started, but Azumane interrupted him.

“We don’t have long,” Azumane whispered. “He’s not the only one. You’re gonna have to hurry up with gathering evidence, because I don’t know how long they’ve got left.”

Atsumu forced himself to remain impassive, but he could feel his palms starting to sweat.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“You and Sakusa must’ve noticed something is wrong with the passengers,” he said, ignoring Atsumu. “They’re being poisoned. I don’t know how or with what, but we need to speed things up.”

“I never told you my husband's name,” Atsumu eyed him suspiciously.

“Did you really think Sawamura would send you two alone?”

Atsumu blinked. “I–”

“I need to go,” Azumane said, turning around. “But Miya, keep your eyes open okay?”

Then he was gone.

Atsumu stared at the door that had just slammed shut after Azumane. He snapped himself out of it and hurried back to their room on what felt like autopilot.

He needed to tell Sakusa what Azumane had said and that they might be compromised.

“Okay, I’m going to text Sawamura to ask if he’s sent anyone after us,” Sakusa said with a calmness that felt forced. “If he hasn’t I’ll ask for an extraction immediately."

Atsumu sat down on the bed while Sakusa texted.

A tense silence rested between them as they waited for a response from Sawamura. Atsumu had anxiously wrapped his arms around himself.

Should he start packing already?

Sakusa sat down next to him on the bed, tension radiating from his body as well.

The phone beeped.

Atsumu looked over Sakusa’s shoulder at the screen.

He breathed a sigh of relief when Sawamura confirmed he’d send someone to look out for them. Atsumu was going to have a strongly worded argument with Sawamura when they’d come back about withholding that information.

Atsumu was surprised he’d never seen Azumane at Xinmar’s before. Xinmar was a big organisation, but Atsumu thought he’d at least recognise everyone’s faces.

“Well, we were right about something being wrong with the passengers,” Atsumu said after a moment of silence. “Maybe the blue powder is poison instead of a drug.”

Sakusa stood up from the bed. “What if they’ve been putting it in the food?”

Atsumu could feel his blood run cold.

“Why aren’t we sick then?” Atsumu asked. He’d been wondering that the entire time. They’d been around the passengers almost all the time, so why weren’t they sick too?

He could see Sakusa frown, staring out the window, deep in thought.

“I don’t know,” he finally concluded.

They knew the crew was in on it. None of them had been stumbling through the hallways like mindless zombies. Atsumu could feel cold shivers go through his body at the thought — they’d seemed like such nice people. Were they really poisoning people?

Were they really the ones killing them?

“Come on,” Sakusa beckoned him already at the door, “let’s get breakfast.”

Atsumu sighed and stood up, feeling troubled by the unanswered questions. They were going to figure it out. They had to.

These people were depending on them and they didn’t even know it.

Sakusa reached for his hand as they walked into the hallway. Atsumu took it and they started walking to the restaurant.

“The workshop is after breakfast today,” Sakusa said after a moment. “Are you looking forward to it?”

Right, it was the fifth day already.

And what? Smalltalk from Sakusa? Atsumu almost wanted to laugh.

Right, there was a couple walking behind them.

“Yeah, I can’t wait. I’m sure it’ll be fun.”

Sakusa hummed.

He had no idea what the workshop entailed, but most workshops were fun, right? Sakusa had signed them up because he’d wanted to tail a man who’d been feeling suspiciously anxious during the entirety of the cruise.

Atsumu tried to dig up some married-people talk from the back of his brain.

“How’s our cat at home doing by the way?”

“My mother texted that she's doing well,” Sakusa replied.

Atsumu pressed his lips together to stop himself from laughing. He could easily fake a fight with Sakusa, but this domestic talk was cracking him up.

“Not too well, I hope,” Atsumu replied. “He better be missing us a lot— waiting at the door for us all day to come home.”

His shoulder bumped against Sakusa’s causing Sakusa’s hand to tighten briefly.

“I’m sure he is, sweetheart.”

The couple behind them took a left to go to the pool. Atsumu was almost disappointed they didn’t have to continue the conversation.

A couple turns later Atsumu recognized where they were.

“This is where the man was,” he said quietly.

The man was gone now, no trace of him. Atsumu hoped he’d gotten back to his room safely, or had gone to the doctor, but if he was honest he feared for the worst.

Sakusa nodded, but otherwise said nothing. He nudged Atsumu to keep on walking.

After getting some food from the buffet, they sat down opposite each other again.

Suddenly Atsumu remembered what had set him off last night: the letter. He’d been so preoccupied it had completely slipped his mind.

They were completely alone in the restaurant, so Atsumu decided he could risk it.

“Sakusa, yesterday in the storage room I found this letter,” Atsumu said, showing Sakusa the picture of the letter from his phone.

Sakusa took his phone to read the letter. Atsumu saw him zooming in a couple of times.

He took another sip of his orange juice while he waited for Sakusa to finish reading.

“This letter alone isn’t sufficient evidence that this cruise company is actually involved with…criminal practices.” Atsumu knew Sakusa had wanted to say ‘with VIS’, but he figured Sakusa was right about having to be careful even though they were alone. “Nevertheless, it’s good that we now know of it.”

Atsumu nodded.

Sakusa gave him back his phone, eying him carefully.

“Are you going to be able to keep a clear mind?”

He knew Sakusa was referring to his history with Kageyama and it was understandable to feel certain things towards the criminal. He had killed his brother and had Atsumu tortured.

Atsumu swallowed and shook his head, as if to shake away the thoughts.

“I’m fine,” he replied curtly. “Let’s just go to the workshop.”

The workshop was on the top floor of the submarine. Thick windows lined the room, but it was too dark outside to see anything.

One of the crew members shut the door once it seemed everyone who’d signed up had arrived.

Then it clicked for Atsumu — that was what had felt different. The room was filled only with couples

“You signed us up for a couples workshop.”

“I’m aware—” upon seeing Atsumu’s glare he added, “it wasn’t my preference either, but we’re here to do our job. And right now that’s shadowing that couple.” Sakusa moved his head slightly towards the couple standing closest to the windows at the front of the submarine.

“Great,” Atsumu commented, before making his way closer to the talking couple with Sakusa on his heels.

Before they could get close enough to them to hear anything, a crew member asked them to gather around to start with the workshop.

“Hello everyone, welcome to Kaleidoscope Mind!” an enthusiastic woman called. “This workshop will help you strengthen the connection you already have with your partner, or reconnect with them if things aren’t going as smoothly.”

She gave Atsumu and Sakusa a pointed look. When Atsumu looked around the room he realized why: they were the only couple not holding hands or touching in some way — they were standing a couple feet away from each other, any further and someone might doubt they were even a couple.

Atsumu rolled his eyes and reluctantly stepped closer to Sakusa, but the woman had already looked away from them.

The lighting around them changed to various smaller lights that created a honeygrate structure on the windows.

It didn’t matter that it was technically still morning, because it was obviously very dark that deep underwater.

“I want you to stand with your partner and stare out of the window until I tell you to stop,” the woman said. “After a few minutes I’ll ask you to tell each other what the favorite thing was that you spotted.”

Couples were quietly talking amongst themselves as they took their place at the windows.

Sakusa and Atsumu followed them and stood next to each other as they too started staring out the windows.

“Stand as close to each other as you’re comfortable with,” he heard the woman say somewhere behind them.

For whatever reason — maybe Atsumu had decided that they should be a more convincing married couple, or he wanted more of the warmth Sakusa carried with him — he moved closer to Sakusa’s front and carefully leaned back.

Sakusa’s arms slowly wrapped around him in a hug, similar to how they had in their room when Atsumu had panicked. Except now they were standing and the arms weren’t as tight; he could easily break free, not that he wanted to.

They were in shallower water and Atsumu could see the sunlight coming from the surface. At this depth it still looked like a single star in a night sky, perceptible, but not bright enough to actually light much. Nevertheless, it helped to illuminate the coral reef around them, even though the submarine's spotlights did most of the work.

It was beautiful; the colours, the fish, everything. It was all so vibrant, so full of life.

And all Atsumu could think about is how Osamu would’ve loved it. He’d always been obsessed with ocean life. Back then, Atsumu had been bored by the countless random facts about the maritime animals Osamu had told him. Now, he wishes he’d just hear one more fact from him.

He knew nothing about the species of fish that lived here, or the types of coral, and it made him feel heavy with sadness. If he’d just paid attention when Osamu had told them, he might’ve remembered something, anything. It felt like just one random fact could’ve brought him closer to the memory of his brother.

He didn’t want to cry, but when he felt Sakusa’s arms wrap around him tighter, a tear did find its way down his cheek. With him wearing the necklace, there was no way Sakusa knew he was crying and he couldn’t see it, so Atsumu was surprised when his hand started moving up and down his arm in a comforting manner.

Maybe it was an unconscious movement?

Whatever it was, it helped calm him down a bit and the sadness didn’t feel as oppressing anymore. No more tears felt the need to escape his eyes.

Atsumu just missed him so much and one single fact wasn’t going to make that feeling disappear, he knew that. Although he might still buy a book about maritime life anyways when he was back home.

Sakusa's thumb was rubbing circles on his forearm and it was distracting him so much, he hadn’t even noticed the elderly woman approaching them.

“I’ll have to admit, I was a bit surprised to see you both here,” the woman said.

Atsumu thought she was vaguely familiar, but he had no idea who she was. She had an artistry vibe to her – her clothes had busy bright patterns on them, enough to draw attention, but not too much to appear ostentatious. She wore yellow framed glasses and her grey hair was in some kind of hair clip.

He was a bit surprised she’d picked up anything from their relationship (maybe she’d been at the beach ball tournament?), but he nodded anyway. “Yeah, we thought signing up for this workshop might be a step in the right direction.”

“It seems like it’s working,” the woman said, gesturing at them. “I don’t mean to seem intrusive, but honestly when I heard you two arguing in the restaurant on the first day, I thought you’d file for a divorce as soon as the cruise was over.”

“You and me both, ma’m,” Sakusa responded.

Atsumu blushed a little when he realized what exactly the woman had heard earlier — he vaguely recalled discussing Sakusa’s dick, more like shouting about it maybe.

“Take it from someone who’s been married over fifty years–” she gestured towards her husband, “forgiveness and patience are the most important things for a successful marriage.”

“What if some things just can’t be forgiven?” Atsumu asked.

“Well, if it’s something you definitely can’t move past, then divorce is always an option…or murder,” she whispered conspiratorally, as if Sakusa wouldn’t be able to hear her; being as stuck to Atsumu as he was, he definitely heard and Atsumu felt the amused puff of air by his ear.

Atsumu smiled at her.

“But I think you’ll be all right. You obviously care a lot about each other—” She shifted her gaze to Sakusa now. “I can tell you’re at the starting line of a new chapter in your relationship.”

The woman wasn’t completely right about the nature of their relationship, but Atsumu couldn’t help but agree with her about the new turn their relationship had taken. It was a lot less spiteful, and a lot more teasing.

And yes, maybe, just maybe, he did care a little bit about Sakusa.

After giving them a knowing look, the woman left and they were alone once more.

Suddenly Sakusa tensed. Atsumu could feel his arms tightening — the chest behind him didn’t feel like it was moving.

“That man has been very anxious this entire time, but now it feels like it’s peaking,” Sakusa whispered close to his ear – Atsumu could feel the air moving when he spoke and was now tensing up as well, but not just because of what Sakusa had just told him.

Sakusa speaking that close to his ear reminded Atsumu of their ‘moment’ earlier in that storage room — Sakusa’s hands in his hair, the close press of his body, the lips. His neck tingled at the memory of it.

Despite his distracted mind, he was able to draw his eyes towards the ‘anxious man’. He did seem nervous to Atsumu.

“What’s wrong with him?”

“I don’t know,” Sakusa mumbled, “he feels like something is about to happen, like he’s about to do something.”

Atsumu braced himself.

“The feeling is still rising,” Sakusa said, his arms still tightening around Atsumu, as if they were trying to keep Atsumu safe from the outside world, from the dangers that lie there — the unknown dangers, because the man was still standing next to the woman, holding on to the railing and staring out the window.

Taking turns they watched the couple as subtly as possible.

Both their attentions got drawn to them the moment the man took a step back, tapping the woman on the shoulder.

He sank down on one knee, grabbing something from his pocket.

“Leila, will you marry me?” the man asked, holding out the box with a ring.

Atsumu blinked.

Then he was struggling not to laugh, hiding his face in Sakusa’s shoulder.

He’d felt Sakusa relax the moment he realized the reason for the man’s anxiety. Atsumu wondered whether his mouth had dropped open, but there was no way of knowing with his mask in place.

Finally Atsumu murmured: “You’re an idiot,” to Sakusa.

Sakusa didn’t say anything, probably still looking at the couple.

Atsumu turned his attention back to the couple too and saw the woman was visibly distressed.

“Stan, I told you not to!” she hissed. “We’ve talked about this!”

“Please Leila, don’t you want to be forever?” the man begged, his hopeful eyes starting to fill with tears.

The other people in the room were also watching the two of them in silence.

“We don’t need a ring for that,” Leila said dismissively.

“Yes, rip my heart out and leave again!” the man yelled desperately. “Like you always do. Is it so wrong of me to want a ring so you don’t?”

Atsumu had to admit it was painful to watch.

“What? So you can keep me forever as if I’m one of your beloved cars? No, I am a person and I am leaving. We are done.”

The woman started walking away from the desperate man.

“As soon as this cruise is over, I’m moving out. I’ve put up with your shit long enough,” she mumbled the last sentence more to herself than to her partner—ex-partner.

It was obvious the woman had had her frustrations with their relationship before, and Atsumu wanted to applaud Leila for finally making the decision to walk away. The unfortunate thing was that they were stuck on this cruise together for another five days…

Leila had stormed out and the man was still watching the door she’d left through, clearly recovering from losing the woman he’d planned on marrying.

Atsumu turned to Sakusa. Sometime during the confrontation between the couple, they’d broken apart and were now standing next to each other.

“I still can’t believe you thought he was about to do something terrible,” he said while smiling. “Are you having performance issues?”

Sakusa turned to him, briefly making eye-contact before looking back at the large window while giving his explanation. “Although your concern with my ‘performance’ is touching, this was just an error in judgement,” Sakusa defended. “Everyone experiences emotions differently. For some people feeling something that strongly means that their lives are at stake.”

Sakusa had mentioned earlier that people all felt things differently. Atsumu realized that Sakusa probably had practiced a lot to be where he was today. The trial and error of that process must’ve been difficult.

“Where do I fall on that spectrum?” Atsumu couldn’t help but ask.

“I don’t know. I haven’t interacted with you under normal circumstances to get a good grasp on your baseline.”

“See, I knew I was right when I said you know nothing about me,” Atsumu said while patting Sakusa’s arm condescendingly. 

“I wouldn’t go that far.”

Was it weird that Atsumu could hear the smile in his voice?

“Before you started wearing that necklace, I could tell how you make decisions before your emotions have fully settled down — before organising your thoughts. That’s how I know you’re as impulsive as a person can be.”

“The compliments just keep coming from you,” Atsumu said sarcastically. “You’re making me blush.”

“I didn’t–,” he paused. “I didn’t mean it in a bad way. I can't get a read on you very well before you do something. Your emotions get so mixed up sometimes that I’m unsure of your intentions. That works in your favor with psychics. You’re unpredictable.”

Atsumu raised his eyebrows, he hadn’t thought about it like that. He frowned — it almost sounded like a compliment from Sakusa.

“Right people, let’s continue,” the crew member leading the workshop called. “I think it has been long enough, time to tell your partner about it.”

Atsumu and Sakusa awkwardly turned towards each other.

“Right… well, what was your favorite thing Sakusa?” Atsumu rushed to say.

“I’m not doing this, Miya,” Sakusa said, rolling his eyes.

Atsumu stared at him annoyed. It felt like a ‘one step forward three steps back’ situation. Just when Sakusa had opened up a little, he’d shut Atsumu out again with his apathetic, indifferent, attitude.

“How about I send you flying through that window?” Atsumu pointed at the window on the left of them. “We’ll see if you can spot your favorite sea life thingy then. Maybe you’ll even make friends with the lobsters.”

“That would be a very bad idea,” Sakusa deadpanned.

Atsumu sighed. “Of course you’d say that.”

“No, I mean you’d kill everyone here if you did that.”

Atsumu frowned at that. He vaguely recalled Sakusa saying something like that, earlier when Atsumu had freaked out after the storage room incident.

“Didn’t you do any research about submarines before coming here, or about the physics of being very deep underwater?” Sakusa asked him.

“How is that relevant? The goal of the mission is to uncover a smuggling operation, not ‘study submarines and write a ten thousand word essay’.”

Sakusa rolled his eyes.

“When you’re as deep under water as we are, even a small hole or dent can cause the entire submarine to implode because of the pressure. It’s also why the submarine is built in a ringlike structure so the water pressure is evenly distributed,” Sakusa explained, pointing at the ceiling with metal cylinder shaped beams.

Atsumu looked up, taking in the construction with a new level of understanding.

“If it was built like a house or even a normal boat or airplane, it would crack under the impressive amount of pressure.” He paused a moment, before adding: “Anyways, throwing me through the window would make the entire window crack and compromise the structural integrity of the submarine, thus I would strongly advise against doing so,” he finished.

Sakusa was quiet now and Atsumu was stunned at the explanation, because he hadn’t expected Sakusa to explain it so clearly to him. He’d have thought that Sakusa would’ve gloated about knowing more than him and have enjoyed watching Atsumu trying to convince him to explain it to him.

“You’ve really done your research, huh?” Atsumu finally commented.

Sakusa hummed. “One of us had to.”

“Right,” Atsumu said, pursing his lips, feeling uncomfortable. “Well, the favorite thing I saw, was a sea urchin whose spines were arranged in a way that looked like your haircut. You never told me you had maritime ancestors.”

Sakusa’s eyes narrowed, but Atsumu knew he’d seen mirth in them.

Chapter Text

Loud banging woke Atsumu. It was knocking — there was someone knocking on their door, very loudly.

“Where is your necklace?” Sakusa asked him urgently, while standing next to the bed.

“Wh–What, huh–I,” Atsumu uttered, moving to a seated position, still barely awake. He could barely remember anything after the workshop yesterday.

Sakusa placed his hands on Atsumu’s cheeks and turned his head so he was fully making eye-contact.

That woke him up pretty quickly.

“Where is it?”

“I-It’s probably still in the bathroom,” he brought out. “I think I took it off before showering, I must've forgotten it afterwards.”

The knocking continued.

“Should we answer the door?”

Sakusa seemed off? His hands were still holding Atsumu’s face and he seemed to be deep in thought. He hadn’t made a move to go to the bathroom to retrieve the necklace yet.

The knocking stopped. Sakusa stepped back from Atsumu, letting go of his face in the process. Atsumu reluctantly got up from the bed.

“Don’t worry I’ve sent them away with my powers, put some fear into them,” he said, smirking.

Something was definitely up and Atsumu would definitely get it out of him, even if he had to throw him against a wall again to do so.

However, because he did have some manners, he asked first. “Are you okay? What’s going on?”

“Nothing’s wrong, babe,” Sakusa said and he stepped closer to Atsumu. Sakusa gave him a short peck on the lips, still smiling. “Let’s go to the restaurant, I’m a bit hungry.”

What the actual fuck.

Were they being watched? No, Sakusa would’ve definitely chosen a different way to tell him that. Besides, he literally talked about how he’d send someone, probably a crew member, away with his powers.

It was not just one alarm bell going off in Atsumu’s head, there was a whole concert of them. The ringing of them was almost deafening.

Atsumu walked closer to Sakusa, bringing his mouth to his ear. “Are we being watched?” he whispered.

“What? No,” Sakusa said, sounding surprised. “Atsumu, come on.” He took Atsumu’s hand and opened the door.

Something was most definitely wrong. Sakusa had never called him Atsumu. Not once during all that time they had known each other.

Atsumu didn’t move.

“Kiyoomi,” he began, playing along, the name feeling foreign in his mouth, “do you remember when we first met and I dropped that mug?”

“Yeah, of course sweetheart,” he responded, looking fondly at Atsumu. “You’re always so clumsy.”

“Do you remember what was written on the mug?”

“Do I have to answer that now?” He sounded annoyed. “Let’s just go, Atsumu.”

This was not Sakusa. Was this some kind of Wielder with shapeshifter powers?

“Wait, I still need to get my necklace.”

He saw Sakusa walking closer, he panicked and turned around quickly, hoping to get away but his arms were grabbed and suddenly two men were holding him. This was so trippy, a moment ago fake-Sakusa and him had been alone in the room.

This had been the work of an illusion casting psychic. They could completely change the way you saw the world. It depended on how strong they were, how real the illusion was. This had been a very strong one. He felt a cold shiver go up his spine at the thought that from now on he wouldn’t be able to trust what he was seeing. Everything could be fake.

A rag was stuffed in his mouth so he couldn’t shout for help and he was dragged down the hallways of the Soloaquiem. But not before he saw the face of a person he was all too familiar with.

Kageyama Tobio.

As soon as he recognized the man standing opposite him, a pair of handcuffs got fastened around his wrists, probably power damping, because nothing happens when he tried to implode Kageyama — maybe because he’s never imploded someone and he doesn’t know if he’s even capable — and he doesn’t feel the familiar hum underneath his skin.

“Put him with the other,” the epitome of Atsumu’s hate said. “I’ll deal with them in a moment.”

Atsumu struggled against the two men holding him, and he even managed to kick one against his shin. Unfortunately that wasn’t enough to deter them and he still got tied to a chair standing in the middle of, what appears to be, a holding cell.

“You guys have a brig? It wasn’t written on any of those cute signs hanging from the ceiling, ya know.”

After the two men left, locking the door behind them, he immediately spotted Sakusa sitting on the ground. Sakusa was watching him carefully with his hands tied to one of the table legs. He had an angry looking bruise on his cheek and he wasn’t wearing his usual mask.

“I guess we finally discovered where the door led to.”

Sakusa didn’t respond to that and if Atsumu's ankles hadn’t also been tied to the chair, he would’ve kicked Sakusa. Although he's not sure whether he would’ve done so considering the situation they were currently in. The longer Sakusa stayed quiet with his head leaning against the table leg, the more likely he’d have done it.

“Is that table impeding your ability to speak? I don’t see duct tape or a gag, where are your table manners?”

“For fucks sake, Miya,” he sighed, “that one was bad, even for you.”

If his hands hadn’t been tied, Atsumu thinks Sakusa might’ve face-palmed. He’d never seen Sakusa do such a thing, so maybe not, but Atsumu would’ve done it for him if his hands had been free.

Yeah, that had been a bad joke.

At least he knew now that it really was Sakusa.

Atsumu awkwardly cleared his throat. “Well good to see they haven’t taken your tongue in the– wait how long have you been here?”

“I don’t know, fifteen minutes maybe?”

Atsumu worked his brain trying to come up with an explanation as to why Kageyama hadn’t just taken both of them at once from their room. It had been risky taking one at a time, because if Atsumu had woken up from Sakusa leaving then he’d have become suspicious and probably would’ve followed him.

“They took us separately, maybe Kageyama is only capable of illusion casting on one person at a time?” he thought out loud. “He did use an illusion on you too didn’t he?”

Atsumu wondered if Kageyama had been the one to cast the illusion over them, or if another Wielder had done it for him.

Sakusa nodded.

Atsumu wondered what Sakusa had seen. As usual Sakusa’s face was unreadable.

“You were fighting when you got in,” Sakusa remarked. “How did you know the illusion wasn’t real?"

“It was pretty obvious.”

“Obvious how?”

“Kageyama made himself look like you and—”, Atsumu paused for a moment. “Let’s just say he’s a bad actor.”

“What did he do? Did he hurt you?” Sakusa’s eyes were flitting down Atsumu’s body, as if they were trying to spot where he was hurt.

“Not exactly,” Atsumu looked away, feeling his face flush. Not just because of what had happened, but also because Sakusa’s concern felt weirdly touching.

“What is it then? You feel weird,” Sakusa frowned.

Right, he wasn’t wearing his necklace so Sakusa could actually tell what he was feeling. Still, it was a comfort that Sakusa also couldn’t really interpret what Atsumu was currently feeling either.

Somehow Sakusa had told him exactly what he was feeling though: weird. Fake Sakausa had acted so couply with him and it was messing with his head.

“He called me Atsumu and–”

“And what?” Sakusa raised his eyebrows.

He didn’t want to worry Sakusa, but telling him felt awkward.

“And he kissed me,” Atsumu said quickly, before adding, “he must’ve misjudged our relationship.”

“I see.” Sakusa’s voice sounded a bit muted.

“Come on Sakusa, no need to look that appalled. Are you that disgusted that a version of you had to kiss me?”

“That wasn’t me, Miya, not even a version of me,” Sakusa said, giving Atsumu an odd look.

“Yeah, I figured that out pretty quickly.”

Atsumu looked away from Sakusa and inspected the room once more, coming to the conclusion that — while it looked like a one person cell with a washing table, a toilet, a single bed and no windows — it was probably not equipped to hold Wielders, since they were tied up with power dampening handcuffs. Although, he didn’t see those around Sakusa’s wrists; it looked like regular rope.

“Do you not have power dampening handcuffs?”

“No, there’s some kind of psychic Wielder preventing me from sensing anything outside of this room,” he said, looking pained.

Honestly the way they were held felt like amateurism to Atsumu, and that was contradictory to the way he had been held two years ago.

“How could you have missed Kageyama being on the submarine?”

“I have no idea,” Sakusa said, sounding defeated. “It was probably the powerful psychic crewmember that's blocking me now. Maybe he was the one messing with my powers earlier too.”

Earlier, when they’d almost gotten caught in the storage room. That had only been a day ago, but it felt like way longer.

The door opened and Kageyama walked in.

“Good to see you two have settled in,” he remarked lightly.

Atsumu glared at him. “Fuck you.”

“Good to see you too, Atsumu. It’s been too long.”

Kageyama calling him by his first name only fuelled his anger. That name was reserved for the people Atsumu was close with. The man calling him that felt disrespectful, but then again, he’d never been very respectful.

“You know, I had wondered how well one of my psychics had erased your memory.”

“I’m going to kill you.”

“I see it’s fairly intact again,” Kageyama smiled at them like it was an inside joke between them. One step closer and Atsumu was going to spit in his face. “But Atsumu, you can’t blame me for being interested after you’d displayed such power.”

“What the fuck are you talking about?”

Kageyama stepped closer to him.

“You don’t remember what you did, do you?”

Atsumu just kept glaring at him.

“After I showed you the illusion of your brother dying, you brought the whole bridge down. It was quite the show.” Kageyama looked to the side and smiled as if he was thinking about the memory of it. “I was so curious about you then, I had to take you with us.”

Illusion? Was his brother alive? Atsumu was too angry to ask that now.

“You had me fucking tortured, you asshole! And for what?” Atsumu shouted, voice cracking. “Your curiosity?”

“We didn’t know exactly what your powers were, so I hired a Wielders specialist. What he did to uncover the full extent of your capabilities is not on me.”

He started walking back and forth through the cell as he talked, as if he was trying to show how he could move freely whereas Sakusa and Atsumu were still tied up.

“He told me you were too damn stubborn for him to get a good understanding, and that you were probably drained from collapsing that bridge.”

Atsumu remembered the man yelling at him to use his powers. Demanding to see what he could really do. He’d been terrified. What if they worked for the government? What if he got locked up the second they found out what he was?

So he didn’t use his powers. Not once.

Even now, he still didn’t know if that had been cowardice or bravery.

He’d been too much of a coward to use his powers out of fear to be killed or experimented on. At the same time he could’ve avoided the pain by just giving in, but he’d been brave enough not to.

Maybe it had been neither. Maybe it had just been self-preservation. He’d chosen torture over possible death. Pain couldn’t kill you — but still, it felt like something inside him had died during those three days.

The part that had loved meeting new people.

The part that had laughed easily at jokes.

The part he used to love giving to the world.

But now — he couldn't.

It was gone.

“You’re so fucking sick!” Sakusa yelled, reminding Atsumu he was still there. “I’m not going to sit here and listen to you tell him it’s his fault he was tortured!”

Atsumu doesn’t think he’s ever seen Sakusa that mad — immune to Atsumu’s taunts and composed almost to a flaw.

“My my Kiyoomi, keep that anger with you a bit, will ya?” Kageyama complained, rubbing his temples. “You are giving me a headache. I knew I should’ve brought my dampener psychic with me. We aren’t really used to holding Wielders here.”

That explained why Atsumu had thought it felt a bit amateurish earlier.

Just how many Wielders were part of VIS? It sounded like Kageyama had a wide variety of Wielders to his disposal; the thought made Atsumu anxious.

“Here?” Atsumu questioned. “What, there wasn’t enough room in your suitcase for your favorite waterboarding towel?”

Kageyama laughed, and Atsumu felt sick to his stomach. “I’ve missed your wit, Atsumu.”

He patted Atsumu on the shoulder as he walked behind the chair. Atsumu wanted to bite the hand off his shoulder.

“But no, back at the complex is the only place where we have cells for Wielders. Unfortunately, I don’t have another pair of power dampening cuffs. We don’t make a habit of locking up our own–”

Atsumu scoffed. “Well, that’s news to me.”

“–unless absolutely necessary. I mean breaking into our file room and even stealing from us,” he tsked. “You two were just causing too much trouble. So we had to improvise.”

“You were poisoning the passengers.” Atsumu was carefully pronouncing every word in frustration. “You were fucking killing them!”

“Yes, Butterfly has proven to be quite effective.”

Atsumu’s eyes widened. So Butterfly wasn’t a drug — it was a poison. It’s what has been slowly killing the passengers. Pure hatred for Kageyama burned in his veins.

Kageyama smiled. “It’s quite innovative, really. Wielders can safely consume it, but as soon as a non-Wielder ingests it, it starts to poison them slowly until they eventually die.”

Realization dawned on Atsumu.

All this time something had been at the back of his mind. He’d unconsciously noticed it, but never really thought about it.

All the people on this cruise were non-Wielders.

On the record Sakusa and him were too.

Kageyma moved out of Atsumu’s range of vision, standing directly behind him now.

“Shall I let you in on a little secret, Atsumu?” Kageyama whispered close to his ear. “They’ve killed thousands of us, and locked away even more.”

“That doesn’t mean–, that doesn’t mean we should kill them all! Like this the killing will never stop.”

He was too close for comfort. Atsumu was desperately searching for ways he could hurt him.

“So what, do you really think we’ll all just stop fighting?” He heard Kageyama chuckle. “I love your idealism, Atsumu, but the people want revenge, and who am I to deny them that? That’s something you can relate to, can’t you? You’d fit in perfectly here with VIS.”

“I will never join you,” Atsumu said, as he tried to headbut Kageyama.

The bastard moved away quick enough to avoid the collision. Then he continued as if nothing had happened.

Atsumu snarled in frustration.

“We’ll have time to discuss that when we’re back at our base,” he said flippantly as if Atsumu would even think about changing his mind.

“You killed my brother!” he yelled indignantly. “Why the fuck would I even consider joining you?”

Again he ignored Atsumu’s outburst. “Do you know what VIS stands for, Atsumu?” he asked calmly.

Atsumu took a deep breath, trying to calm his anger enough to answer him, but he couldn’t stop the sarcastic reply.

“Vegetables in soup? Vile insect shit? Ventriloquist in—” he thought for a second before adding, “the stomach?”

“If I’d known you were this humorous in captivity I’d have visited you more—”

Suddenly his face scrunched in pain.

“Jesus Sakusa stop it!” Kageyama’s good-natured appearance had disappeared.

He stalked closer to Sakusa, dropped to his haunches and roughly grabbed his chin.

“It’s almost a shame you declined my offer all those years ago.” His voice sounded calm again, despite the angry expression he was still wearing. “We could’ve taught you so much more than the prodding you’re doing in my mind right now. It’s amazing how you can influence someone's emotions so well. I’m sure if you really put your mind to it, you could make them kill for you.”

Sakusa looked about one second away from spitting in Kageyama’s face, like Atsumu had thought of doing earlier. Honestly, Atsumu hoped he’d do it, repercussions be damned.

“Nonetheless, I’ve had enough of this headache. Luckily I have obtained this lovely trinket.”

He fished out the green emerald necklace that once belonged to Atsumu, and fastened it around his neck.

“It’s amazing how much he trusts you,” he motioned his head in Atsumu’s direction. “If it had been me, I’d have never parted from this around you. Especially not while asleep — you can see his dreams, can’t you? Memories are much closer to the surface then— not as deeply tucked away.”

Atsumu’s eyes widened and he looked at Sakusa. Sakusa didn’t look at him. Instead he was still silently glaring at Kageyama.

When it became apparent Sakusa wasn’t going to say anything, Kageyama turned to face Atsumu.

“You know Atsumu, for two people who insist they hate each other, you trust each other an awful lot. It was so easy to get Sakusa to come with me, I became overconfident when it was time to get you—”

He was interrupted as a knock sounded at the door.

“Yes, I’ll be there soon!” Kageyama yelled at the still closed door.

Apparently that had been enough for the person knocking, because it was silent once more.

“Anyways, where was I?” he said, still crouching in front of Sakusa, but he was looking at Atsumu. “Right. All I had to do was create the illusion of you yelling his name and Kiyoomi here ran straight to me like a good little lapdog.”

He ruffled Sakusa’s hair. The look on Sakusa’s face became even more murderous and Atsumu could see his chest heaving.

So Kageyama was indeed the Wielder with the illusion casting abilities, Atsumu noted.

Kageyama grabbed Sakusa’s chin again and forcefully moved his head towards Atsumu.

“Do you have something to tell Atsumu here? Perhaps—ouch,” he abruptly let go of Sakusa as if he’d been burned and stood up.

He shook out his hand and took a step away from Sakusa. “That’s a nice trick you got there, finding my pain receptors.”

Atsumu was happy to see Kageyama in pain, but he was also surprised. He hadn’t known Sakusa was capable of doing that.

Kageyama slowly walked to stand behind Atsumu again. Atsumu found that he was aware of Kageyama’s presence similar to how he was of a big spider in a room — the uncomfortable feeling he got of cold shivers up his spine when it came too close.

“Oh I see,” Kageyama said thoughtfully, “the necklace doesn’t work when you’re touching someone’s skin.”

Atsumu’s mouth dropped open in surprise. The necklace didn’t work when Sakusa was touching someone?

This time when he glanced at Sakusa, Sakusa looked back with a somewhat remorseful look on his face.

Atsumu’s mind immediately went to all the times he’d touched Sakusa: how they’d walked while holding hands; them waking up cuddled together because of the bugles: Atsumu leaning against him with Sakusa’s arms around him while watching ocean during the workshop; Sakusa kissing his neck in the storage room.

Atsumu blushed, thinking back to the moment they’d shared in the storage room. Sakusa kissed his neck to make onlookers think they were just hooking up and not snooping through the room.

Sakusa had known what he had been feeling during all those times.

And he hadn’t told him.

“Ah trouble in paradise, is there?” Kageyama sounded amused. “Whoops, I see I spilled your little secret. Atsumu didn’t know that, did he?”

He’d stopped walking behind the empty chair between Sakusa and Atsumu.

“Well, I’ll leave you to talk about that. I’m a busy man, it might be a while before I’m back,” Kageyama said and he turned around to walk towards the door.

“Before I forget,” he said while grabbing something from the pockets of his jacket, “here you go.”

He was holding two water bottles.

Neither of them would be able to drink from it, since they were still tied up.

Kageyama seemed to realize the same thing when he held out the water bottle for Sakusa to take, only for Sakusa to stare at him with a look of mild annoyance.

“Right, I had told my men specifically not to tie you up, Sakusa, you’re perfectly contained right here,” he said while untying Sakusa’s hands. “Your psychic power isn’t going to help you inside this room.”

Atsumu would’ve immediately wrapped his hands around Kageyama’s throat the moment his hands would’ve been freed, but he noticed Sakusa held his composure and merely stared at the villain. That’s probably the most sensible thing to do, because they’d never make it out of there with Kageyama using his powers against them and all the guards outside the door, who were probably Wielders as well.

With the restraints in his hands Kageyama was now walking towards the door, but before he closed them behind himself, he stopped himself. “And don’t bother with Atsumu’s handcuffs, they won’t come off.”

The moment the door closed, Sakusa rose to his feet, shaking his legs out and he walked behind Atsumu to check the restraints anyways. A few gentle tugs, followed by a couple harsher ones, apparently convinced Sakusa that they wouldn’t come off and any further attempt was futile.

Sakusa walked further away from him again, and it took Atsumu a moment to understand what Sakusa was doing. Atsumu saw him feeling along the walls, trying the door handle and looking underneath the door, putting his ear against the wall, and checking underneath the bed.

Nothing was out of the ordinary apparently, because Sakusa said nothing once he was done.

“Do you want some?” Sakusa asked.

At that moment Atsumu realized that Sakusa had picked up one of the water bottles by the door and was holding it out to Atsumu.

Atsumu nodded and Sakusa stepped closer to him while opening the bottle. He held it to Atsumu’s lips.

Atsumu had to look away because this was just too awkward, but he found that he couldn’t. The anger he felt towards Sakusa was the only reason he had the courage to keep looking him in the eyes.

Atsumu tipped his head back a bit to drink a sip, glaring at Sakusa while he swallowed. After a couple of sips, he moved his head away from the bottle a bit.

“I have a knife,” he said quietly so Sakusa could hear him since he was close to him, but not too loud in case the cell was bugged.

They had been negligent when searching him and he’d almost wanted to cheer when they’d let him in the cell with his knife safely in its hiding place.

Sakusa froze.

“Are we being watched?” Atsumu asked then.

“There’s a small camera a little bit above the door handle,” Sakusa said with a low tone. “I couldn’t spot any microphones though.”

“Okay good. I can’t reach it obviously, so you’re gonna have to get it.”

“Where is it?”

Atsumu rolled his shoulders uncomfortably.

“My back…”

Immediately he felt Sakusa’s hand land on his back, pretending he was supporting Atsumu while he was giving him another sip of water.

Sakusa had said the camera was a little bit above the door handle, so for Atsumu it was at his eye level since he was sitting down on a chair. The camera wouldn’t be able to catch Sakusa’s hand swiftly moving over Atsumu’s back to search for a knife holster.

“L-lower…” he said, wanting to say more but Sakusa tipped the water to his lips again, effectively interrupting him.

With great difficulty Sakusa’s hand slid a little lower, because Atsumu’s back was pressed against the chair. His shoulders couldn’t stretch very far, because the handcuffs were fastened low on the chair. He couldn’t give Sakusa more space so he had to squeeze his hand between the small gap.

“Arch your back a bit,” Sakusa whispered. “I can’t reach.”

Atsumu coughed, spilling water on his shirt. He briefly closed his eyes in both frustration where his mind went after hearing those words, and because he felt annoyed at Sakusa for not giving him enough of a break with the water to let him speak more.

Apparently the coughing had finally made Sakusa realize that maybe Atsumu would like to say something before being drowned, because the water bottle was moved away from his lips.

“Idiot,” was the first thing he said. But — because he really did want Sakusa to find the knife before the day was over, and his hands had explored every inch of Atsumu’s body — he added, “It’s stuck in a sheath in the waistband of my trousers.”

Atsumu leaned forward as far as he could, cursing at the strain it put on his shoulders.

With clinical precision Sakusa’s hands slid even lower.

“Behind my belt,” he brought out just before he was given a sip of water again.

Atsumu had to admire Sakusa’s dexterity, being able to search for the knife while he was carefully giving Atsumu more water.

He choked again, this time for a whole other reason. Sakusa had finally managed to get the knife free and while he was sliding it upwards, Atsumu felt it briefly touch the skin of his lower back, before it was safely covered by Sakusa’s hand and taken away entirely.

Atsumu let out a breath.

“Now what?” Atsumu asked when the bottle of water was moved from his view.

“Now we wait," Sakusa said, sitting down on the other chair in the room.

“For what?”

“An opportunity.”

And so they waited. And waited.

“I’m sorry for not telling you,” Sakusa said.

It was obvious to Atsumu Sakusa had probably been thinking of what to say for the past ten minutes. Atsumu was glad he’d decided to start with an apology.

“Why didn’t you?”

“I hadn’t noticed it, not at first. I had noticed the weird dreams I was having, but I thought it was just because I was sleeping in an unfamiliar environment or something. In the storage room was when it clicked—” He paused. “I guess I just didn’t want you to feel embarrassed.”

Atsumu took a moment to process what Sakusa had just said.

“At least I’d have known then,” he said finally.

“Yeah,” Saukusa said looking at the ground, “I should’ve told you.”

Atsumu nodded, now staring at the ground too.

They’d barely been sitting there for another minute, before the door opened again.

“Azumane? What the hell,” Atsumu said, surprised.

“Yes gentlemen, the cavalry has arrived,” he stated proudly.

Azumane had a wild look on his face. He was probably high from the adrenaline of sneaking in to get Atsumu and Sakusa out.

Armed with some weird looking scissors he walked towards Atsumu. Atsumu quickly realized that those were for the power-dampening handcuffs he was wearing.

“Really Omi-kun? You don’t recognize me like this? Is it my new haircut?”

“Azumane?” he heard Sakusa say. “Miya, you never told me he called himself that.”

Confused about the familiarity Azumane spoke to Sakusa with, Atsumu whipped his head around to look at Sakusa.

“I didn’t think it was rele–”

They were hugging now.

“Man, it’s good to see you,” he heard Sakusa say, sounding happy for once. “Which poor bastard had to stay home from this fantastic cruise?”

“Well Todd unfortunately had a horrible case of food poisoning."

Atsumu frowned, not understanding what they were getting at.

But then he looked back at Azumane; Gone was the wiry looking man with short black hair, instead a muscled man with long dark brown hair in a bun stood before them now.

Azumane was a shapeshifter. Lovely.

He realized that he did recognize the man now, he’d seen him before at Xinmar’s. Atsumu hadn’t known his name, but it was obviously Sakusa did and he was apparently very familiar with the man.

For some reason Atsumu felt mildly annoyed.

With the touching reunion going on in the background, Atsumu focussed on the rope around his ankles. His hands were free now, but he found that it was still difficult to undo them.

Azumane had finally turned his attention back to the both of them. “In ten minutes a submarine from Xinmar is going to connect to this one to evacuate us.”

“Us? Just us? What about the other passengers?” Atsumu asked, surprised.

“I don’t know,” Azumane looked pained, “the submarine might not be big enough for thirty people—”

“Fuck,” Atsumu cursed.

“I don’t know which one they’ll send.”

Atsumu made eye-contact with Sakusa. He knew they both thought the same thing. That’s not good enough.

“If we leave now–” Atsumu started, “we might not make it back on time with back-up. We need to find a way to get them to safety now. They need medical attention.”

“I can call, but it’s probably too late if they’ve got the wrong submarine.”

Something has gone wrong with the communication. Why wasn’t Xinmar aware that the passengers needed to be evacuated too?

Atsumu was still annoyedly pulling at the restraints, but they wouldn’t come loose.

Before he could say something, Sakusa was already kneeling down to free his ankles. He cut through the ropes with the knife he’d obtained from Atsumu earlier. Then he handed Atsumu the knife back.

“Thanks,” Atsumu said awkwardly.

Sakusa stood up again.

Atsumu pocketed the phone and the sample of Butterfly Azumane had given him, and stood up as well.

“Okay Azumane, you are going to wait at the docking bay for Xinmar,” Sakusa ordered him. “Call us when it’s there and tell us if it’s big enough.”

Azumane ran out the door, while changing back into the shape he had earlier.

Sakusa turned to Atsumu. “We are going to the control room.”

Sakusa seemed to have a plan so Atsumu didn’t question it. He just hoped they’d all get off this fucking submarine quickly and safely.

Chapter Text

“We’re trying to escape from a submarine 800 feet below the surface, and you’re telling me you have to fucking pee!” Sakusa said incredulously, his eyes wide.

“You were the one that made me drink so much!”

“I was trying to get your knife free,” Sakusa countered. “One that you’d conveniently placed halfway up your ass!”

“It was not halfway up my ass! Behind your belt is a perfectly reasonable spot.”

They’d reached the door to the staircase and were now sprinting to the second floor. Their steps on the metal staircase made it rattle so loudly, that if anyone on the submarine had been unaware something was going on, they were definitely aware now.

“Besides, if I hadn’t they would’ve found it,” Atsumu huffed. “Just be grateful, you prick!”

“Next time, just put it in your shoe or something like every normal person,” Sakusa said, opening another door.

Atsumu was wheezing now, the staircases had been brutal.

“Then where are my feet supposed to go?”

They were now standing in front of the ladder that led to the control room all the way at the top of the submarine.

“I’ll handle this, find a bathroom and meet me up there when you’re done,” Sakusa gestured to the hatch at the top of the ladder.

“But, it’s going to be heavily guarded, you can’t—”

“Just go pee!”

Atsumu wanted to protest, but ultimately he decided it was Sakusa’s own fault if he died on his suicide mission. He didn’t care. Not at all.

Okay, maybe a little bit.

He knew Sakusa was strong, so he might just survive. He better.

“Fine!” he yelled back finally, giving Sakusa his knife.

Hesitantly, Sakusa took it from him. “Don’t you need it?”

“I have my powers,” Atsumu said, “and before you say it, I know you do too, but you are about to enter a room filled with hostile Wielders. I decide, you get the knife.”

“Fair enough.”

Just before he turned around he saw Sakusa ascending the ladder, knife in hand.

He sprinted.

“Call Sawamura!” Sakusa yelled after him.

After Atsumu had made the quickest bathroom trip of his life, he’d called Sawamura. It had been a short call, but somewhat comforting.

He wasn’t able to tell Atsumu anything about the rescue submarine, since that was apparently orchestrated by a different department within Xinmar; they dealt with all the maritime things.

If they were able to get the submarine to the surface, Sawamura was going to send people to come and get them. The extraction location was relatively close to the shore where the submarine was headed. Atsumu had told Sakusa so when he'd reached the control room too.

He was happy to see Sakusa alive, and the room was more peaceful than he’d expected.

There were only three people beside Sakusa and him, and they were all asleep. Sakusa probably had something to do with that, but Atsumu didn’t ask. Instead he showed Sakusa the coordinates, Sakusa in return adjusted the course of the submarine a bit.

“Wait, you actually know how to pilot a submarine?”

“For the most part, yes,” he replied, fiddling with various buttons while watching the screens. “This right here is the main ballast system. We need to make sure the water is expelled from the MBT’s, so our overall density is decreased.”

“What?”

He knew close to nothing about submarines and the technical terms went way above his head.

“Right–”

Sakusa got interrupted by a beeping noise.

It sounded urgent and Atsumu’s eyes widened, a flash of panic went through his body.

Then the lights went out and it was completely dark.

“Sakusa?”

“Yes, I’m on it. Someone probably tampered with the control system.”

Atsumu sat down on the floor, figuring that was probably better in case they were going to sink or something.

“Are we going to sink?” he asked then.

“No, that’s on a different electricity circuit,” he replied. “It’s just the lights, I think.”

Atsumu breathed a sigh in relief.

“Wait, the hatch,” Sakusa said. “It doesn’t have an electronic locking mechanism, does it?”

Atsumu’s eyes widened momentarily, then he remembered manually closing it.

“No, it doesn’t,” he assured Sakusa.

“Okay good.”

It was quiet as Sakusa quickly tapped some buttons.

“So are we supposed to hold hands now?” he questioned into the dark room.

Sakusa didn’t respond, but not even a minute later the lights went on and the beeping noise stopped.

“I’m focussing on getting us closer to the surface.”

Atsumu nodded. “Can I help?”

“Just guard the door…” he paused for a couple seconds.

Atsumu had already reached the hatch when Sakusa spoke again. “Or well, the hatch I guess,” Sakusa belatedly added.

Atsumu didn’t blame him for being distracted — he was piloting a fucking submarine. That alone still seemed surreal to Atsumu.

Not even a second later he heard multiple people starting to climb the ladder. He’d locked the hatch, but there was no other way to secure it.

“Open up!”

Atsumu panicked and he ended up just pathetically sitting down on top of it, as if his bodyweight was going to keep them out better than the locked hatch would.

The loud banging continued.

Atsumu briefly felt hazy, as if he was dissociating. The world seemed to slow down around him, before returning to normal.

He quickly snapped out of it. He didn’t have time to investigate it, because he could hear the lock on the hatch protesting.

“Sakusa, I don’t know if this hatch is going to hold!”

“I have an idea,” he said while staring at one of the screens. He stood very still, almost as if he was frozen. Atsumu didn’t think the other man was even breathing. “The submarine has a safety measure that could be useful to us. I could–”

An even louder bang startled them both.

“I can flood all the other rooms, beside the control room.”

“What? Sakusa, no. I’ll find another way,” Atsumu rushed to say. “Maybe if I put a protective shield around the door…”

Sakusa looked hesitant.

“Please trust me, okay? This is going to work.”

If Atsumu was honest he wasn’t all that confident, but it had to be better than to kill all the people on the submarine.

“We need to get the sample to the surface. So many lives could be saved, if we can make an antidote at Xinmar. We can’t risk Kageyama and his crew getting out of here with their plan and the poison.”

“But all these people, Sakusa,” Atsumu’s voice cracked, “you can’t—”

“I have to.”

“No, you don’t. I can just put up a shield until we get to the surface.” Atsumu had abandoned his futile attempt at using his body weight to keep the hatch closed. The hatch seemed to be holding for now.

He walked closer to Sakusa. “Just trust me.”

“We can’t risk it,” Sakusa urged.

“Thirty people. Thirty innocent people!” Atsumu had raised his voice. “This isn’t like you Sakusa. It can’t be!”

Sakusa stayed quiet, staring at the screen.

“Why can’t you just fucking trust me for once in your life!”

“It’s either thirty people or at least a million, maybe even more,” he stated coldly. “I’ve made my choice, Miya.”

Atsumu walked closer. With full intent to stop him, even if he had to fight him.

“You can’t just kill thirty people! You know that literally makes you a mass murderer!”

“You really do have one twisted perception of reality,” Sakusa said accusingly.

The fact that Sakusa was questioning Atsumu’s reasoning at a moment like this, really pissed him off.

“And pray tell why that is.”

“Because the world isn’t this fucking perfect place you think it is!” Sakusa suddenly yelled, finally raising his voice too.

It stunned Atsumu for a moment, before he was capable of yelling back.

“Are you seriously calling me naive! ”

“Things go wrong! Sometimes you just have to deal with it, and move on!”

“Move on? Move on?! Sakusa, this isn’t something you can just move on from!”

“Well I can,” Sakusa said determinedly. “I will.”

“What do you want me to say? Good job! I’m so happy for you!” he yelled sarcastically.

“I don’t know, okay.” Sakusa seemed so defeated and vulnerable saying that. It was so unlike him Atsumu had to blink twice before he could even begin to understand the emotions passing on Sakusa’s face. “I just thought you’d understand.”

“Who has the ‘twisted perception of reality’ now, huh?”

Atsumu was quiet for a moment, but he wasn’t finished with yelling at Sakusa about his plan.

Because what the fuck.

“If only your ego was a little smaller than the fucking Mount Everest—” Atsumu said frustrated, “then maybe, just maybe, you’d have understood!”

It felt as if every frustration he’d had with Sakusa, was now bubbling to the surface. He’d never fought with Sakusa like this.

“My ego has nothing to do with this! This is a matter of human decency and not wanting more people to die because of this.”

“You don’t get to talk about human decency! Not after condemning thirty fucking people to death!”

He’d walked even closer to Sakusa, only about a foot separating them now.

Another beeping noise sounded, but Sakusa ignored it, still looking at Atsumu.

“You see my impulsivity as a flaw,” he gritted out, gripping Sakusa’s wrist to stop him from pressing any buttons, “is it so bad I see you being a murderer as yours?”

He’d stared right into Sakusa’s eyes while saying that.

Sakusa stayed quiet after that. His face became blank and it seemed like Sakusa didn’t fully register his words.

Atsumu would’ve felt guilty if Sakusa wasn’t about to become a murderer.

Something was wrong.

He didn’t know Sakusa that well, but he knew the man would do anything to avoid people dying. Just like Atsumu, he would stop at nothing to save everyone.

Shouyou had told him multiple times how a savoir complex was one of the only things Sakusa and Atsumu had in common.

Sakusa wouldn’t just give up like this.

A smirk suddenly appeared on Sakusa’s face.

“Have you always been this desperate to do the right thing, Atsumu?”

Atsumu’s blood ran cold.

Sakusa wouldn’t just give up like this, because this wasn’t Sakusa.

Atsumu didn’t waste a second, immediately using his powers to throw Kageyama against the wall and he kept him there, floating in the air a couple feet above the ground.

It broke the illusion away.

His eyes immediately got drawn to Sakusa sitting on the ground appearing confused. Atsumu noted that the three people from the crew, who’d previously been asleep, were gone now.

“Easy, easy,” Kageyama said with difficulty, since Atsumu was using his powers to push against his chest. “We wouldn’t want to break through the wall, now would we?

Atsumu ignored him, consumed by his hatred for the man. Atsumu wanted him dead. For his brother.

“Miya, careful—the passengers,” Sakusa reminded him.

Atsumu glanced at Sakusa with his main focus still on Kageyama.

Was this really Sakusa? How did he know for sure this wasn’t another illusion?

At least this Sakusa seemed to want the passengers to live. That was a step in the right direction.

“Sakusa, is this–, is it another illusion?”

He knew it was probably useless to ask him, but he hoped he’d see something in Sakusa, so he’d know it was really him.

“No, I’m blocking him now,” Sakusa said carefully. “I’m sorry I wasn’t quick enough last time.”

Atsumu bit his lip in contemplation. He was still keeping Kageyama pressed against the wall. But was this really Kageyama? He couldn’t trust what he was seeing anymore and it unnerved him to his core.

“H-how do I k-know it’s you?”

He was going to kill Kageyama, he had to.

“You love hot chocolate,” Sakusa said quickly.

“Oh please, who doesn’t?” Atsumu rolled his eyes. “You’re not really doing a good job of convincing me.”

“It’s not– not because of the flavor, but because it reminds you of a Christmas years ago.”

Sakusa paused for a moment, eyes squinting.

“Your father — you were drinking hot chocolate together next to the Christmas tree in your living room. It was the only time he’d ever told you he was proud of you. You’d just graduated high school and–”

Sakusa was interrupted by his phone ringing and secretly Atsumu was glad. He was fine with Sakusa knowing all that, but he didn’t want Kageyama to hear it.

Please be Azumane, Atsumu thought.

“What a touching moment,” Kageyama said to Atsumu, as Sakusa walked away a couple steps to take the call.

“I’m not talking to you, you killed my brother. You don’t have speaking privileges.”

“What part of illusion don’t you get?” The frustration had started to slip through the cracks of his lighthearted joking facade. “Your brother isn’t dead, Atsumu. He’s with me.”

“You’re lying.”

“Am I? I told you I had shown you the illusion of your brother dying. That doesn’t mean I actually killed him. In fact he’s proven to be quite useful to us.”

He’s alive?

Maybe Kageyama was just shit-talking again to mess with his head.

What if he was telling the truth though?

“Miya,” Sakusa called, “Azumane called to tell the submarine is big enough and all of them are on it. They’re waiting on us.”

Atsumu breathed a sigh in relief.

“There’s something else,” Sakusa said while looking at the screens again, “Kageyama did something– there’s… a countdown.”

“For what?”

“It doesn’t say, but it says we have six minutes.”

Atsumu didn’t waste a second, pressing Kageyama against the wall harder. “Why is there a countdown? What is it for?!”

Kageyama started laughing manically.

“What is it?!”

“It doesn’t matter, it’s too late.” He smiled, looking smug.

From the corner of his eye, Atsumu saw Sakusa walk closer to Kageyama.

He’d drawn his knife and held it against Kageyama’s throat. “Talk!” Sakusa demanded.

Atsumu used his powers to press against Kageyama even more. He could see the man was now struggling to breathe.

“Why is there a countdown?” Atsumu asked again.

Sakusa had had enough apparently, because he took away the knife and ripped the necklace from Kageyma’s neck and pocketed it. He put both his hands on either side of Kageyama’s head.

Immediately, Kageyama started screaming; it was awful and hoarse. It was the kind of scream that almost hurt the person listening to it—so raw and painful.

Atsumu almost wanted to cover his ears to block it out. He should have enjoyed seeing Kageyama in pain, but at that moment his most hated person was still a person. And it felt wrong.

It was the humanity Kageyama didn’t have, that made Atsumu want to stop Sakusa.

He was just about to say something, when Sakusa drew his hands away. The screaming had stopped the moment Sakusa had stopped touching him.

“Fuck,” Sakusa cursed, looking pale. “Bomb. It’s a bomb, that’s why he’s feeling so smug.”

First of all, shit.

Secondly, oh, Sakusa had been using his powers to forcefully dig for a memory.

“A bomb like that would kill you, and the crew of your precious Wielders, are you really that determined to kill the passengers?”

Kageyama merely smiled, not bothering with an answer.

Suddenly, Atsumu had an idea. “Sakusa, where will we be in six minutes?”

“Uhm, let me see,” Sakusa said, walking back to the screens. “We’ll be by the shore then. It looks like an urban area…shit.”

“It’s a coastal city with the highest population of non-Wielders,” Kageyama provided unhelpfully.

They were headed directly for a city with a bomb aboard.

“Will the explosion even be strong enough to do any damage?”

“We’re already getting closer to the surface and, judging by his face, it will be,” Sakusa said glaring at Kageyama.

“Can’t you change the course, so it’s headed for a quiet part of the ocean or something?”

Sakusa was typing away on the keyboard. Seemingly getting more frustrated by the minute.

“I’m locked from the system– I can’t plot another course. It’s asking for an access code.”

“There’s nothing you can do,” Kageyama said, while chuckling.

“Shut up!”

Kageyama had previously moved his head away from the wall a little, but Atsumu pushed it against it again. It made a loud thumping noise and he saw Kageyma grimacing pain.

For a moment he saw a hint of fair in the man's face, before it was covered up by a smirk again.

Atsumu knew they had to take action now. His thoughts were with the people living in the coastal city and the passengers were still waiting to depart. They didn’t know a bomb was going to explode in just a few minutes.

“Call Azumane.”

“What?” Sakusa asked, looking up from the computer screen.

“Call him, and tell them to leave,” Atsumu said with more confidence than he felt.

Atsumu could see the question clear on Sakusa’s face: But what about us?

“Trust me,” he begged Sakusa's face for the second time today. “Please.”

Whatever Sakusa saw on his face, apparently convinced him because he took out his phone, still looking at Atsumu while he called.

“Hi, Azumane, you can– you can go,” Sakusa said. “...I know. We’ll figure something out… Thank you. Bye.”

There was no way Sakusa and Atsumu would’ve been able to get on the rescue submarine without Kageyama casting another illusion over them. Besides, they still had to find a way to stop the submarine they were currently on from destroying the coastal city.

“The obsession you two have with saving everyone really goes beyond what my little tangerine had told me about. I didn’t know you were that eager to die.”

Atsumu ignored his comments. “Just give us the access code and no one has to die.”

“Naivity really doesn't suit you, Atsumu,” Kageyama said, shaking his head disapprovingly. “Did you really think I’d give you the code?”

“No, but you either tell us, or Sakusa will get it out of you. Your choice.”

Sakusa walked closer to Kageyama again. Kageyama ignored him, his attention still focused on Atsumu.

“I love how much faith you have in him, but even Kiyoomi can’t extract a memory that isn’t there.”

“What do you mean?” Atsumu asked, starting to feel desperate.

Kageyama laughed again, drunk on the power he currently held over them. “I don’t know the code.”

He saw Sakusa turn his head towards the ceiling in frustration. “For fucks sake.”

“You got to be kidding me! I’ll fucking kill you!”

Atsumu stopped holding Kageyama a couple feet in the air, instead he used his powers to push him down to the ground. Hard.

“See that’s what I like about you,” Kageyama said, wincing in pain, “you’re so determined.”

“I’ll blast you through this damn wall!”

“You’ll die too then,” Kageyama said easily. “Are you willing to go that far?”

“I can’t let this go on–, I can’t let you go on.”

At that moment Atsumu knew he needed to make a choice. The consequences of that decision would stay with him no matter what he chose. However, he wasn’t alone in his choice.

Atsumu turned to Sakusa. To his surprise he saw him nodding slowly.

Yes, you can have your revenge.

But Atsumu had no intention of letting Sakusa die.

“You’ll be crushed by the water pressure before you can even blink,” he told Kageyama. “It’s more mercy than you deserve.”

“So will you,” Kageyama pointed out.

“Will I?”

Atsumu had made his choice.

Before Kageyama could make another illusion, or even say another word, Atsumu closed the gap between Sakusa and him.

He held Sakusa close, as he pushed.

Atsumu blasted a hole in the wall, knowing the passengers of the Soloaquiem were safe.

Everything crumbled around him, he used his powers and pushed. He pushed against the immense pressure of the water to prevent it from crushing himself — and Sakusa. Atsumu was determined to not let the metal crush them, but he could hear the metal protesting, he could feel it protesting.

Darkness surrounded him, as the cold water made contact with his skin. He clung desperately to Sakusa to protect him from the pressure.

Atsumu had made his choice, but it still didn't feel good. Kageyama is dead now. He could feel a pinch of guilt in his stomach for letting the other Wielders, the crew, die too, but they made their choices when they were willing to kill all the passengers.

With everything he had, he pushed the two of them through the dark water — hopefully to the surface.

Chapter Text

Atsumu emerged from the cold water, gasping for air and a second later Sakusa appeared too. They’d let go of each other’s hands to swim better.

Since it was still the middle of the night, it was very dark. The only reason they could see anything was because the moonlight was reflecting on the surface of the water.

Just when he thought things couldn’t get worse, he took in the weather conditions above the surface.

Atsumu turned to Sakusa. “Is there a fucking hurricane going on?”

“It looks like it,” Sakusa replied, sounding out of breath. His hair was plastered on his forehead.

The amount of water falling from the sky made it difficult to distinguish the water he was swimming in from the water falling from the sky. The big waves that pushed against them were quite disorientating as well.

Atsumu had always loved swimming and while these circumstances were less than optimal, he felt calm. During the summer he used to go to a beach house with his family, so he was used to swimming in just about every weather condition.

The same couldn’t be said for Sakusa who was gasping for air with his neck stretched above the surface, similar to a giraffe's neck when it tries to reach the top leaves of a tree.

“I can’t breathe,” Sakusa gasped out.

One of his arms flailed out and hit the surface of the water hard. Atsumu winched in sympathy. Sakusa was grabbing around himself trying to hold onto something that wasn’t water or seaweed.

“You can. I can breathe so you can too,” Atsumu reasoned.

He felt out of his depth trying to calm Sakusa down. Admittedly, Sakusa was way better at that.

“There–” It took another couple panicked breaths before Sakusa spoke again. “There’s water everywhere.”

“Look Sakusa, I know it–” he was interrupted when a big wave caused water to flood in his mouth. He coughed before continuing. “I know it sounds counterintuitive, but close your eyes.”

He swam closer to Sakusa again, because the wave had knocked him away a bit.

“You see water everywhere and that makes you think like you can’t breathe, but you can. Just close your eyes,” he said, trying to make his voice sound as gentle as he could.

He was now close enough for Sakusa to touch him—and that’s what he did. Sakusa’s arms flew out and wrapped themselves around Atsumu’s shoulders, like Atsumu was some kind of buoy.

The strength of Sakusa’s grip pressed Atsumu’s arms to his side, effectively making it impossible for him to swim. The kicking of his legs wasn’t enough to stay above the surface, not with the added weight and his arms unavailable.

Right, how to save a drowning victim 101: never position yourself in front of the victim.

Oops.

With the energy he’d wasted trying to stay afloat, Atsumu found that the lack of oxygen was already bothering him a lot.

He was struggling but unable to escape the death grip Sakusa was holding him in. Pretty soon it would become an actual death grip, if he didn’t figure something out.

And soon, because his lungs were already burning with the urge to breathe in. Which Atsumu knew was very unwise at the moment. Atsumu hadn’t grown gills yet, so breathing underwater was a very bad idea; there was probably some Wielder out there who could and Atsumu was very jealous of them right about now.

Wielder! Atsumu was a Wielder.

He reached for his powers, and pushed.

The force dislodged Sakusa’s arms from his frame and threw him away.

Sorry Sakusa, he thought when he reached the surface and saw just how far away Sakusa was now.

Now it was both Sakusa and Atsumu gasping for air. Fucking hell, that had been a close call.

When he’d finally caught his breath, he began swimming a little closer to Sakusa. Atsumu realized that being sent flying through the air probably didn’t really help with trying to calm down, and he was proved right when he saw the state Sakusa was in.

“Sakusa!” Atsumu yelled, abandoning the soft approach. "Just do it! Close your eyes!”

It seemed like flying through the air had brought Sakusa some clarity after all, because Atsumu could see Sakusa nodding. At least he thought he did, the moonlight could not rival sunlight.

While Sakusa was doing what he'd said, Atsumu looked around trying to spot anything other than water. Which was hard when another big wave knocked against his head, flooding his ear—that hurt.

For a moment he couldn’t hear anything besides the water rushing from his ear, then he heard Sakusa making another panicked sound.

“Miya! Where are you! I can’t– I can’t see you.” His back was to Atsumu and he was frantically trying to turn his head to search for Atsumu.

“I’m here Sakusa, behind you,” Atsumu said, trying to sound comforting. “It’s okay, ‘t was just a big wave, but I’m here.”

He’d spotted a rocky shoreline, but a bit towards his right, he saw some lights that illuminated what he suspected were boats: a harbour. Please let it be a harbour.

This time he kept himself behind Sakusa while he swam closer.

“Take some deep breaths,” he said gently. “You can feel how calm I am, yeah?”

Sakusa nodded, turning his head, eyes still wide open in panic.

“Focus on that. Can you see those lights there?”

“I think so, yes.”

“We’re going to swim to those lights, okay?”

And so they did.

Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.

They were sprinting through the rows of trees. Apparently the crew from the submarine had made it to the surface. Atsumu had suspected there had been some kind of lifeboat, since he hadn’t seen any of the crew around them when he’d imploded the submarine.

If he was honest, he was glad he wasn’t responsible for more deaths. He was a little less happy to be chased by the surviving crew from the moment they’d climbed out of the water.

“Do you think they’ll agree on a tie?”

He was getting tired of running. They’d just escaped a fucking submarine, only to be chased down on land as well. Chased down by Wielders, he remembered the moment the roots of a tree came to life.

“For sure,” Sakusa replied sarcastically. “If the tie is in the shape of a noose around your neck, you idiot.”

Sakusa barely even sounded out of breath—Atsumu was jealous.

A flexible branch of a willow tried to grab Atsumu by his feet, fortunately he jumped away quick enough.

“It’s better to use rope then–” he gasped in a breath, “much stronger. A tie might tear.”

Branches started falling around them. The branches were heavier by the ice clinging to them. When one of them fell to the ground close to Atsumu, he felt the tiny ice splinters cutting in his skin. The feeling was similar to the feeling of tiny needles poking him.

It didn’t matter, they just had to get out of there. The extraction location had to be close, he couldn’t give up now. It couldn’t be further than a mile from here.

Next to him he heard a shout. He had to look twice to take in the scene, now behind him.

Sakusa had fallen to the ground with a pained expression on his face. An icy branch had pierced his lower leg and pinned it to the ground.

“Go Miya, get the sample to Xinmar!”

Sakusa was stupid if he thought Atsumu was just going to leave him there.

He ran back to where Sakusa had fallen.

Assessing the situation, he realized that Sakusa couldn’t be moved with his leg. The branch was very large, so he was certain it had punctured an artery. Even if he tied off the bloodflow to Sakusa’s leg, there was no way they’d be quick enough to outrun them.

In the distance he could see a couple crew members coming closer.

Atsumu knelt down next to Sakusa. His leg looked even worse up close.

“Miya, listen to me.” Sakusa took in a pained breath. “You have to go,” he urged, eyes wide from the fear, pain and adrenaline. “Please, they’ll get to you too. Just go.”

Taking a page from Sakusa’s book, Atsumu ignored him.

First things first, there were still falling branches above them and it was a miracle they hadn’t been hit by one again.

Atsumu turned his hands towards the sky. He used his powers to push away the branches that threatened to fall on them.

Fuck, the icy branches were heavy.

Looking down at Sakusa, who was quickly becoming very pale, he realized he wouldn’t be able to keep this up forever.

The crew was gaining up on them. He saw the branches had started flying horizontal now too. The ground started to shake like there was an earthquake going on.

Focus.

Suddenly, he remembered a move he’d practiced during his training at Xinmar. It would take a lot of power, but Atsumu knew it was his last option.

He closed his eyes, clearing his mind and focussed on forming a dome shaped shield around them. Atsumu moved closer to Sakusa, so he could make the shield smaller.

He’d used a lot of his powers to get them to the surface so he was already weakened, this made it way worse. Atsumu started to feel lightheaded.

Staying conscious was his next priority.

Hanging over Sakusa, he could feel the shield had encompassed them both like a blanket.

“Miya.” He heard Sakusa utter, but he paid no mind to it, as his eyelids started feeling heavier by the minute. He was too drained, too tired.

Mind completely empty, barely lucid, he felt something touching his ankle—it was Sakusa’s hand.

For a moment he was confused, but then he could feel an adrenaline rush like he’d jumped off a cliff.

Apparently, Sakusa had been able to tell he’d been feeling faint and was now using his powers to keep him awake.

The power of adrenaline was not to be messed with, Atsumu suddenly felt like he could take on the world with his bare hands. The fact that the crew had surrounded them felt insignificant.

Atsumu pushed all around them with his powers. He could hear a couple trees protesting and probably falling over too, but more importantly, the crew had flown backwards.

It was suddenly very quiet in the forest.

Darkness consumed Atsumu as he lost consciousness.

He woke up in a car.

“Atsumu!” Shouyou greeted him enthusiastically, immediately bringing him in for a hug, even though Atsumu wasn’t even upright yet

Atsumu smiled at him and hugged him back the best he could. Over Shouyou’s shoulder he could see the trees pass by in a blur; they were driving quite fast.

He couldn’t see who was behind the wheel, but he could tell they were in a car that belonged to Xinmar.

He pulled back from the hug, and looked at Shouyou.

“Where’s–” He coughed, his throat was very dry, “where’s Sakusa?” he asked urgently.

“He’s in the other car,” Shouyou replied, gesturing at the car behind them.

He was afraid to ask, but he forced himself to ask it anyway. “Is he okay?”

“Yeah, a Wielder with healing abilities is with him—he’s totally fine. Except for the fact that he’s obviously not in the superior getaway car.”

Atsumu felt himself relax.

“What happened to the other Wielders that were attacking us?”

“Well, they were pretty subdued already, but we cuffed them and they’re in the couple cars behind us. They’ll be interrogated when we get back.”

Atsumu thought back to his interrogation when he first arrived at Xinmar. It felt like years ago, but it had been only about four months. There was no doubt they’d find out everything the crew knows, since they’ll probably use the truth drink on them too. Atsumu recalled his experience with the concoction, and found that he wouldn’t like to swap places with them.

“But now on to the fun stuff,” Shouyou said, sitting up straight. “How are things going with you and Sakusa? I noticed you’ve patched things up, or at least enough for you to lie down on top of him…” He wiggled his eyebrows.

Atsumu knew he had been leaning over Sakusa before he’d passed out, but it had never once occurred to him he might actually wake up on top of him. He felt embarrassed that Shouyou had found them like that.

“Shut up,” he said, and to his surprise he found himself smiling again.

It was almost like everything was the same as before.

His smile faded not even a moment later, when he remembered what he’d done.

Kageyama was dead, he’d killed him.

The rest of the drive silence rested between Shouyou and him. Shouyou probably thought he was very tired and wanted to rest, but Atsumu was plagued by the events that had happened. He wasn’t falling asleep any time soon.

Atsumu came to the same conclusion many hours later, laying in bed.

Memories from his conversation with Kageyama were still racing through his mind. Had he really been the one to collapse the bridge?

He thought back to his conversation with Inspector Iwaizumi all that time ago. The Inspector had told him a bridge had collapsed near to where he’d resurfaced again, after having gone missing for three days.

It just didn’t make sense to him.

He drew up a mental timeline. First Kageyama had shown him the illusion, and then he’d collapsed the bridge. Kageyama had taken interest in him, so he had been taken captive and had spent three days at VIS being tortured. Then he’d resurfaced again near the collapsed bridge.

Why had they dropped him off near the bridge? Why had they let him go at all?

He dug in his mind, but he was sure Kageyama had never told him.

And then there was what Kageyama had told him about his brother…

He couldn’t sleep.

He should’ve been resting from the moment they’d arrived back at Xinmar, but Atsumu had been desperate to train to resist a psychic's power.

He could tell his own powers were completely depleted, but that didn’t stop him. He would never let another psychic get in his head, the way Kageyama had.

So after writing the mission report, Atsumu had spent his entire afternoon in the training room with Mika. (He’d finally worked up the courage to ask her again, and she’d provided him with a short “Mika”. Atsumu had no idea whether it was her given name or surname, or even a fake name entirely.)

During training he’d taken off his necklace to train resisting Mika’s psychic powers.

Of course he’d failed miserabilly at that again.

As he’d walked towards his room, he’d realized he’d left the necklace in the training room.

The training room had already been locked by then, so there was no way to get the necklace back before tomorrow morning. Unless blasting out the doors with his powers was an option, which it wasn’t.

Atsumu honestly feared Sawamura was one broken door away from putting Atsumu in containment, or worse, kitchen duties. He’d give the entirety of Xinmar food poisoning, so jokes on him really. Atsumu was an awful cook, having survived on pre-cooked stuff ever since moving out of his parents house.

Sighing, Atsumu got up to walk around the building for a bit. He was uncomfortable with the idea of sleeping without the necklace. Uncomfortable with the idea of sleeping at all.

The cafeteria was nearly empty at this hour, so he was surprised to find Azumane bent over some documents at the table all the way across from where Atsumu was standing.

He made his way over to him, curious to see what he was doing at one o’clock in the morning in the cafeteria.

“Hi,” he greeted.

Azumane startled, muscles tensing up. A stack of papers from the corner of the table fell to the ground. Atsumu picked it up and put it back.

“Thanks,” Azumane said. “Sorry, I didn’t expect to see anyone here at this hour.”

“Me neither,” Atsumu said, sitting down at the table too. “What are you up to?”

“Just looking over some research reports. I just finished analysing the sample you took.”

“Wait, you’re the actual scientist doing that?”

“Yeah, and I work on an antidote,” he said, still scanning through the papers laying in front of him. “Not the only one, but the rest are probably asleep now.”

Atsumu liked the natural calmness Azumane seemed to carry with him.

“You found anything interesting?”

Azumane nodded. “What do you know about Butterfly?”

“Not much, except that it kills non-Wielders.”

“I won’t bore you with all the details, but yes, it is a poison that specifically targets non-Wielders. It’s an example of genetic warfare.”

Atsumu frowned at the term. He hadn’t heard of it before, but he immediately got chills down his spine.

“Which is why all the Wielders aboard could safely consume the poison in the food.”

“Yeah, I’ve noticed, I’m still very alive,” Atsumu said dryly, realizing the fatigue might be getting to him a bit.

Azumane slid his cup of coffee over to him.

Atsumu smiled at him gratefully, and he took a sip. “Why is it called Butterfly by the way?”

“The side-effects,” Azumane said shortly. He glanced at the stack of papers again, grabbing a sheet. “Do you remember the man I dragged you away from? Back in the submarine?”

Atsumu was surprised at the question, but nodded.

“Did you see how quick his eyes darted around the room?”

“Yeah, it was honestly a bit creepy.”

“Hallucinations are one of the symptoms of Butterfly poisoning. It usually means a coma and death are close.”

“Lovely,” Atsumu said sarcastically.

“What makes Butterfly special, is that it doesn’t cause different hallucinations for everyone. All the victims present with the same hallucination: they all see things flying past in the corners of their eyes, appearing to make no sound as it flies past—like a butterfly. That’s where the name came from.”

Atsumu had always admired how much could be achieved by science. It wasn’t until now that he recognized the dangers it brought. Too much knowledge in the hands of someone with ill intent was just as deadly, if not deadlier, than a gun or a knife.

The chills Atsumu had gotten down his spine, had started to spread though his entire body. A heavy feeling settled in his chest; it made him feel cold.

“Anyways, I’m going to bed,” Azumane said, standing up. “I’ll leave this here for you to read. This is all we have on Butterfly.” He slid over the stack of papers to Atsumu.

Atsumu bid him goodnight, and started reading.

Chapter Text

“You should go to bed.”

Atsumu startled at the voice. He hadn’t been asleep, but he hadn’t been entirely awake either. 

It was Sakusa. Of course it was Sakusa. He’d seen nothing but Sakusa for the past few days.

Shouldn’t he be sick of him by now?

“So should you,” he retorted.

Sakusa sat down opposite him.

“What is this?” Sakusa asked, examining the papers in front of Atsumu.

“It’s everything Xinmar has on Butterfly.” He moved the stack of papers closer to Sakusa. “Azumane has analysed the sample.”

Atsumu saw him skim over the research. “Okay. Was there anything we didn’t know?”

Atsumu looked back at the stack of papers. He was sure he’d read things, something, anything.

No, he didn’t remember a thing.

“Yeah, the— it was,” he struggled. “...it’s a poison.”

Sakusa rolled his eyes.

“Miya, why aren’t you in bed?” Sakusa said, seeing right through Atsumu.

Atsumu cleared his throat. “Because I thrive at night.”

“At night?” Sakusa said skeptically.

“Yeah, in the moonlight—like a werewolf.”

“Werewolfs aren’t real.”

“See, that’s what they want you to think,” Atsumu said, conspiratorally.

“Miya.”

“I just couldn’t sleep, Sakusa,” he said sharply, playfulness gone from his demeanor. “Just drop it.”

Sakusa stayed quiet, but he was watching him unblinkingly.

“I couldn’t sleep because I didn’t have my favorite teddy bear,” he tried, hoping Sakusa would stop looking at him like that.

Sakusa’s face was still expressionless, expecting. Atsumu stared back, aiming to deter Sakusa gaze.

It didn’t work. Sakusa would forever win their staredowns, he knew that.

Atsumu looked away. “I don’t have my necklace, okay. You happy now?” he said, abruptly standing up.

He felt vulnerable admitting that; admitting that he couldn’t sleep because he was missing some trinket.

The necklace really was his teddy bear.

For a split second he saw a slight frown on Sakusa’s face, before it was gone again. “Where is it?” he asked calmly.

Atsumu sighed. “The training room.”

Sakusa immediately got up too.

“Come on,” Sakusa said.

“What?”

Sakusa had already started walking, so Atsumu quickly grabbed the stack of papers and followed him.

Together they walked through the building until Sakusa pulled him to a stop. They were at the training room on the first floor.

“But it’s closed,” Atsumu protested.

“Not for me,” Saksua said as he started typing in a very long code on the access panel.

He was once again reminded that Sakusa outranked him. That higher rank obviously came with its privileges.

A small beep sounded and Sakusa motioned for him to enter. He turned on the lights, dimming them a bit when they both had to shield their eyes at the bright light.

Sakusa told him to sit down on the folding chair next to the shabby table by the wall.

Atsumu did, and a moment later Sakusa returned with the necklace and two glasses of water. He took a seat opposite Atsumu.

Atsumu immediately fastened the necklace around his neck, feeling calmer already.

“Are we planning on staying here?” He gestured to the glasses of water.

“I figured we should talk.”

“I don’t want to talk, I just want to sleep.” He took a sip of the water anyway.

“Why can’t you?” Sakusa asked plainly.

The question was very direct and Sakusa had asked it as if the answer was uncomplicated—he knew Sakusa knew it was anything but.

He narrowed his eyes. “I can now, since I got the necklace. Thanks for that. I guess I’ll just go now.”

Atsumu didn’t get up to leave yet. He didn’t know why.

He was annoyed and all he wanted to do was sleep.

“Okay,” Sakusa said neutrally. He saw Sakusa take a sip of his water too.

He wanted to go, but he felt like he did owe Sakusa an answer, after all he’d helped him.

“I hate being so dependent on that necklace, but without it I can’t trust what I see. That’s why I couldn’t sleep.”

It was quiet after his admission, and Atsumu stared at his glass of water—waiting.

“Kageyama is dead, Miya,” Sakusa said, voice softer now.

“There’ll always be others ready to take his place. What if they have similar psychic powers? I just don’t know what to do. I feel so scared. What if the necklace malfunctions? What if someone is putting fake images in my mind right now? How do I know what's real?”

There, he’d said it.

The thoughts that had previously been in his head, weighing on him, were now out in the open.

He prepared himself to roll his eyes at whatever comforting words Sakusa would come up with.

Sakusa didn’t. He just stayed quiet for a moment, before asking Atsumu a question completely out of the blue.

“Do you trust me?”

“That’s a loaded question.”

“And that’s not an answer,” Sakusa pointed out.

“Fine,” Atsumu sighed. “Yes, I trust you.”

Something flashed in Sakusa’s eyes, but Atsumu couldn’t decipher it.

“Good,” Sakusa simply said, before asking Atsumu to come with him.

Atsumu did so, reluctantly.

They walked through the hallways again, and up the stairs to a different floor this time. Atsumu knew this floor mostly had living quarters on it.

Sakusa stopped in front of one of the doors, unlocked the door with a key, and walked in.

He held the door open for Atsumu to follow him into, what Atsumu presumed was, his room.

All the time they’d known each other, Atsumu hadn’t been here, not once. He hadn’t even known what floor Sakusa lived on—never bothered to remember.

Sakusa’s living quarters were not as sterile looking as he’d thought—it was very clean and organized, yes, but it had a homely feeling to it.

There were paintings on the walls, mostly of landscapes. Sakusa had a lot of books, Atsumu noticed, sketchbooks too. The concept of Sakusa having hobbies seemed foreign to him.

For the first time, Atsumu wondered how long Sakusa had been living here with Xinmar.

“Okay, I gotta ask,” Atsumu finally said. “Why are we here?”

Sakusa sat down at the kitchen table. “I’m going to teach you how to shield your mind.”

“I– Mika tried already. I don’t think–” he trailed off.

And she really had—this afternoon, and when he’d first joined Xinmar he’d had three lessons a week for two months from her. Honestly, Atsumu had given up the thought that he would be able to shield his mind on his own.

Sakusa nodded. “Do you want me to try again?”

Atsumu glanced back at him. Did he want him to?

“It’s okay if you don’t—”

“I do,” he said with as much confidence as he could gather. “Let’s do it.”

Atsumu wanted to get better at shielding his mind, he needed to.

The table held three chairs, of which Sakusa occupied one. Atsumu sat down opposite him—next to him just seemed too close.

“Do I have to take off my necklace?” he asked when he was seated.

“It would make this easier,” Sakusa nodded, “but if you don’t want to, I’m sure we can work around it.”

Atsumu blinked at the implication. They both knew how they could ‘work around it’ — when they touched the necklace didn’t work.

Atsumu fiddled a bit with the emerald jewel around his neck, as he made his decision.

“No, it’s okay.” He trusted Sakusa not to do anything to him, and he wanted to do this right— anything to make learning it easier.

He took off the necklace, immediately feeling naked without it.

“Are you okay to start?”

You’re safe, Kageyama is dead and Sakusa is with you, he told himself.

He nodded, staring at the shimmering jewel from the necklace now laying on the table.

“Good. What did Mika teach you so far?”

Atsumu took a deep breath, trying to calm his nerves. He trusted Sakusa, that didn’t mean he looked forward to him poking around in his head.

“Mika said that it was all about clearing your mind, something about walls,” he said vaguely.

“That’s good, but I meant more like—how do you know a psychic is trying to enter your mind or already has?”

“You can enter my mind?” Atsumu asked nervously.

“If I’m digging for memories, yes.”

Atsumu swallowed anxiously. “Okay.”

“Most Empaths can’t. We’re more like radars, we don’t need to enter your mind to tell how you’re feeling. Besides, I can only see memories that are strongly linked to emotions.”

“When we first met, you did enter my mind, right?” Atsumu asked uncertainly. “I think I felt it.”

“Yes, I did—” he coughed, “it’s good that you could tell.”

Sakusa looked uncomfortable, and for a moment Atsumu feared for what he’d seen. Then he realized the look on Sakusa’s face was more remorseful uncomfortableness, than ‘I’ve seen your virginity get taken’ uncomfortableness.

He felt relieved, because he was sure he’d never be able to look Sakusa in the eye again if he’d seen that.

Still, he wondered why Sakusa regretted it.

“Why didn’t I know when it was Kageyama?”

“I wasn’t trying to hide it, Kageyama was,” Sakusa explained.

“So if you tried to hide it, I wouldn’t know either?”

“At the moment, I don’t think so, no. But—”

“This was a mistake, I should go,” Atsumu said, blinking quickly.

He’d thought he would be able to handle this, but it still felt like too much. He trusted Sakusa, but he couldn’t do it.

His fight or flight instinct had kicked in the moment Sakusa confessed that he could, in fact, enter Atsumu’s mind completely unnoticed.

Flight had won, as he started to make his way towards the door, snatching his necklace off the table on the way.

“Miya–” he heard Sakusa say behind him, but he was already out the door before he could hear the rest.

With a heavy feeling in his stomach, he returned to his room.

The necklace felt constricting around his neck—not at all like the usual comforting weight. He shouldn’t have left like that, he knew that, but he couldn’t have helped it. The fear had been stronger.

Atsumu sighed.

Maybe he shouldn’t have joined Xinmar. Maybe it had been a mistake. Maybe he should leave.

Atsumu glanced at the sleeping figure on the bed across the room. Perhaps Shouyou could talk some sense into him—that was usually his specialty.

Shouyou hadn’t woken up when he’d entered the room, which surprised him, because he tended to be a light sleeper.

His phone told him it was only a little past two, so Shouyou would kill him if he woke him up now. Their talk would have to wait until morning.

With an uncomfortable feeling in his stomach, Atsumu laid down on his bed hoping to get some sleep.

Atsumu woke up with a knife to his throat and a hand on his mouth.

“Don’t you dare make a sound,” a voice said threateningly.

Something like a bracelet was clasped around his right wrist—it felt like metal.

“And don’t bother with your powers.”

The bracelet was a power dampener then. Shit.

Atsumu’s eyes widened when he took in the person in front of him: it was Shouyou.

Atsumu had never seen such raw anger on his face, his permanent smile and positive attitude had completely vanished.

“Here’s what’s going to happen,” Shouyou said very close to his face. “You and I are going for a walk, and then only one of us is walking back here.”

Before Atsumu had time to protest, Shouyou dragged him up from his bed. The knife from his throat disappeared, but before he could do anything to escape, he felt the scorching heat from flames against his back coming from Shouyou’s hand.

He’d known what Shouyou’s power was, but he’d never actually seen him use it. Now he was using it against Atsumu.

Atsumu was scared, but mostly he felt confused—he’d thought they were friends.

Shouyou slowly took his hand away from Atsumu’s mouth and he pushed him forward, his other hand keeping steady contact with Atsumu’s back. Atsumu gasped, feeling the skin of his back burning, and it hurt.

“Shouyou,” he gasped out. “Why?”

“Shut up and walk,” Shouyou said, cranking up the heat even more on Atsumu’s back.

Atsumu’s entire face scrunched up in pain and his muscles locked up, causing him to trip and fall. The pain of falling on the ground was nothing compared to the feeling of burns starting to form on his back.

“Get up, you coward!” he whisper yelled. “You are so weak, I don’t understand how you could’ve murdered him.”

“What?” Atsumu uttered, confused.

He’d only killed one person and it seemed impossible Shouyou would be upset about that.

“Kageyama, of course, you imbecile,” Shouyou said while dragging him up again.

Not impossible apparently.

“You worked for him?”

“No, I–I worked with him,” he said with a pained expression. “We were in charge of VIS together. You killed him and now you’re going to pay for it.”

Atsumu’s eyebrows raised in the casually admitted revelation. Shouyou was a spy for VIS. A leader of VIS had infiltrated Xinmar.

There was something about the anger on Shouyou’s face, it looked like more than just the loss of a fellow leader. This was personal and he knew that hunch was his way in.

“You were more than just working partners, weren’t you?”

“Shut the fuck up!”

His orange hair burned bright like the flaming hatred Atsumu could feel radiating from him.

Atsumu gasped out in pain when he felt the hand burn even hotter. For a moment he feared it would stick to his skin once it cooled down, like wax solidifying after a candle burning out.

Then they heard footsteps and the hand from his back disappeared, instead wrapping itself around Atsumu’s waist. The other hand held onto his shoulder and Shouyou started leaning on Atsumu heavily.

Atsumu struggled a bit with the extra weight, still feeling weak from the intense pain.

“I’m drunk and you’re helping me,” Shouyou directed. “Convince whoever we see you’re fine, or I’ll disintegrate you right this second, and whoever we come across, understood?”

Before Atsumu could say anything, a person turned around the corner. Atsumu didn’t recognize the man, but he knew it was one of the security guards who kept the building complex safe at night.

“Everything alright here?”

The hand on Atsumu’s shoulder started burning when he was silent for too long. Atsumu covered up his gasp with a cough and told himself to focus.

“Yeah, it’s all good, just taking him to bed.” His voice sounded strange to his ears. “He’s had a few too many.”

The frown on the security guard's face faded, and with a relaxed expression he asked Atsumu if he wanted some help.

He declined the guard’s kind request, when he felt one of Hinata’s hands burning on his ribs in a warning.

The security guard nodded and walked on, thankfully not noticing they were headed in the wrong direction. Atsumu was relieved when the guard disappeared from view, he didn’t deserve to die.

Shouyou and Atsumu had reached the exit, but before they could stumble through a voice sounded.

“Miya?”

Atsumu’s breathing quickened.

No.

What the fuck was he doing here at this hour?

He turned around and saw Sakusa standing a few feet away from them. Immediately, both the hand on his shoulder and his waist started burning even hotter.

“Sakusa,” he grimaced, “we were just going for a walk.”

“Is everything alright?”

He didn’t want to put Sakusa at risk, so he tried to give one of his most convincing smiles. The smile he gave was probably way too toothy with how he was clenching his teeth, but he hoped it was convincing enough.

“Yeah, it’s fine—just getting some fresh air.”

He saw Sakusa frown for a second, then his face smoothened out again.

“Oh okay, be safe then,” Sakusa said.

Sakusa hadn’t noticed and Atsumu felt deflated. Totally not the relief he’d expected to feel, but it was too late, because Hinata had impatiently started burning him again. Atsumu was certain his shirt had holes in the places Hinata was touching him.

The moment they stepped out of the door, Shouyou grabbed his wrist dragging him to a dark corner of the building. He abruptly slammed Atsumu against the wall with his hands on his chest—burning.

Atsumu gasped out in pain as the heat increased.

“Did you know that you can already go into shock when about thirty percent of your body gets burned? With every inch of your skin I burn, your death comes closer,” Shouyou said sinisterly. “Shall we see how long it takes?”

How could he have been so wrong? He hadn’t known Shouyou at all—he hadn’t known Hinata at all, Atsumu corrected himself, already feeling distanced from him.

“Please stop!”

“Begging already are we? I’ll melt your mouth away if you scream.”

Careful to not make a sound he gasped as the pain increased. He needed his mouth, so he could yell for help in case someone would happen to walk past.

All the hope of a savior disappeared as the pain kept increasing, making it impossible for him to think any coherent thoughts. He felt his knees give out.

“With how weak you are, I don’t think you’ll even get to thirty percent, but honestly, I hope you’ll make it to at least sixty, you deserve that.”

A scream tried to fight its way through his throat. Atsumu was able to make it a silent one, only a small squeaky noise came from his mouth. In his mind he was screaming so loudly, no other thoughts could occupy it.

“Hinata, please,” his voice broke, tears started streaming down his cheeks. “I’m sorry, okay, is that what you wanted to h-hear? He was killing people, I couldn’t just let him–”

Atsumu was interrupted by one of Hinata’s hands moving to his upper arm and he gasped in a breath. Then he gasped again, desperate for air. “I didn’t–I didn’t want to kill him eit–either, but there was n–no other way.”

Hinata paused briefly and to Atsumu it seemed like doubt reflected in his eyes.

“I don’t care, Miya, because of you the man I loved is dead.” Atsumu noticed tears gathering in Hinata’s eyes too. “You’re going to pay for it.”

He looked so determined and hurt at the same time, Atsumu actually felt sorry for him. Hinata may be hurting Atsumu now, but it seemed like he was burning away his own humanity and it was hurting him too.

“He should’ve left with the other Wielders, instead of going after you two idiots!”

Atsumu realized that the moment the feeling of Hinata’s burning hands started to fade, Hinata moved them to a different spot. He burned different spots until the nerves were dead, then moved on.

Third degree burns Atsumu’s mind unhelpfully supplied.

Hinata deliberately hurting Atsumu as much as he could, was such a sinister thought. He would’ve never expected this from Hinata. He would’ve never expected any of this from him.

“Everything was perfect! It was all perfect—until you ruined it!” His voice sounded so throaty and Atsumu could tell it was from the anger coming from deep inside his friend—it scared him.

It had been a long time since Atsumu had been this scared.

His tears and the smell of burnt flesh were still as present as ever, but Atsumu wasn’t anymore—he’d dissociated.

His mind was empty.

He didn’t know how much time had passed, when he heard shouting.

Then the burning stopped, Atsumu thinks. He still felt as if he was hanging above a campfire, skin stinging, but the location hadn’t changed in a while.

Atsumu wondered if he was hallucinating when he saw Sakusa’s face appear.

The moment the fucker started to roughly push against him, Atsumu knew it really was Sakusa. He loved doing the unexpected to piss Atsumu off.

He couldn’t make sense of why Sakusa was hurting him even more. Was Sakusa a spy too?

Please, no.

He was wildly flapping his arms attempting to stop him, when Sakusa’s words finally registered in his mind.

“Roll Miya, you’re on fire—” he kept repeating urgently, “work with me here, roll.”

Still in a panicked, pained haze, he did as told and rolled in the muddy grass the best he could with Sakusa’s help, until the flames went out.

“It’s okay, it’s out,” Sakusa assured him, when Atsumu was still quickly moving his head trying to scan every inch of his body.

Sakusa didn’t waste a second, he picked him up and told him they were headed to the emergency room in Xinmar.

What felt like a second later, he was laid down on a bed. The pain on the shallower burns was blinding, and Atsumu shouted when he felt sheets touching his injured shoulder and back.

He was quickly put on his front, which wasn’t nearly as bad, but his chest still burned terribly.

Atsumu felt himself fade in and out as a lot of people moved around him, touching him. Atsumu felt his shallow breathing become even faster.

A touch to his hand grabbed his attention and a soft voice spoke to him—it was Sakusa.

“I’m here, Miya, it’s okay,” he said gently. “They’re gonna help you.”

His eyes stopped darting around the room, instead focussing on Sakusa’s face in front of him.

“S’ksa, pain.”

Atsumu vaguely registered that he was shivering.

“They’ve given you something already, but it takes some time to work.”

The tears started coming even faster at the constant pain and Atsumu helplessly shouted again.

He saw Sakusa turn around and talk to a woman standing next to his bed, but he couldn’t hear them.

“S-Sakus-sa,” he said again, not sure why. He only knew that he didn’t want him to leave.

A moment later Sakusa was by his side again.

“It’s okay, Miya, I’m going to help you.”

Atsumu felt Sakusa’s hand touch his cheek—it felt soft and comforting. A strange calm washed over him, so intensely and so suddenly he struggled to keep his eyes open.

Atsumu felt oddly drained.

Was he dying? Was this what dying felt like?

It was trying to drag Atsumu under, but Atsumu fought it, he didn’t want to go. Not yet.

Not now when he’d only just discovered his brother was still alive.

Not when he finally had a chance at peace with Kageyama gone.

Not with Sakusa staring at him so intently that Atsumu wondered what the look meant.

“Just let it happen, it’s me. I’m putting you to sleep so you won’t feel the pain,” Sakusa said, while gently running his fingers through Atsumu’s hair. “Let go, darling, you’ll be okay.”

For once Atsumu listened to him.

He stopped fighting and the waves dragged him under.

Chapter Text

“...idiot, you’ve had your nap, it’s time to wake up. Stop being stubborn.”

Atsumu fell into a deep sleep again.

“I don’t understand, it feels like he’s awake.”

Somebody shook his shoulders carefully.

“He’s tired, Sakusa, give him time.”

There were a lot of voices around him. He was too tired to open his eyes.

“Sakusa, it’s your birthday, your friends are waiting in the cafeteria w…” the voice faded in and out, it sounded familiar, “...go.”

“It’s my fault, I can’t just leave him alone now.”

“I’ll call you when he wakes up,” another voice said. Was it Azumane?

“Miya?”

There was a light touch to his hand.

He blinked. His eyes were open, he noticed—that was a first. He closed them again, finding the light too bright.

“Do you want me to get a doctor?”

“No, I–” he coughed. His throat felt like sandpaper.

A glass of water was pressed in his hand. He gratefully took a sip.

Thankfully, Sakusa had dimmed the lights. He saw it was dark outside.

Sakusa was sitting on a chair next to his bed. He looked even more tired than Atsumu felt after sleeping for—how long has he slept?

“How long was I out?”

“A week,” Sakusa said. “You should’ve woken up way earlier, but the doctor said she thinks you were probably still exhausted from the mission before this happened.”

Atsumu hummed in understanding.

“How am I?” he asked. He knew Sakusa had been here almost the entire time, so he was the right person to ask.

“The doctor, a Wielder with healing powers, was able to heal the worst of your burns, so the scarring is minimal. Unfortunately, she said the sensation in the affected areas might not go back to normal. Your nerves were too badly damaged in some places.”

That was a lot of information for Atsumu’s drug-addled mind to comprehend. He found himself having trouble focusing on anything, but the frown between Sakusa’s eyebrows.

“Is it actually your birthday today, Sakusa?” he asked suddenly.

Sakusa nodded.

“And I didn’t even get you anything,” Atsumu pouted.

“I think you had a pretty good excuse.”

“Yeah, you’re right,” he agreed.

And then, because the drugs had robbed him of any sense of timing, or tact.

“Me being lit up like a birthday candle is probably the best present you could’ve gotten anyways.”

Sakusa put his face in his hands.

“You could say I was the candles and the cake,” he laughed, barely lucid.

Silence again—but this time, there was a sad, fond smile on Sakusa’s face.

“You should probably get some rest.”

“Yes yes, I know the drugs are getting to me.”

Sakusa smiled softly at him.

After another moment of staring at each other — Atsumu was only half staring, because his eyelids were slowly closing — Sakusa got up.

Just before he closed the door after him, he paused.

“No it wasn’t,” he said softly, referring to Atsumu’s comment about the birthday candle. “It was the worst.”

He closed the door and Atsumu fell asleep.

“I knew I should’ve gone after you immediately,” Sakusa told him, when he visited again the next morning. “I could see that there was something wrong, but I thought you’d be okay because you were with Sh– with Hinata.”

Atsumu noticed how Sakusa corrected himself. He understood why Sakusa didn’t want to call him by his first name anymore. The name felt too familiar, too personal, while they hadn’t known Hinata as well as they’d thought.

“Why did you come after us at all, if you thought I was fine with Hinata?”

“A message from Sawamura,” he explained. “He’d interrogated the crewmembers and one of them had spilled the beans.”

Atsumu wasn’t surprised the crewmember had told them. They’d probably given him the same concoction Atsumu had gotten when he’d been interrogated—the drink that forced you to tell the truth.

“I rushed to you then, but he’d already–”

The words died in Sakusa’s throat.

“Where’s Hinata now?” Atsumu asked, moving his legs to dangle over the edge of the hospital bed.

“We’ve taken him into custody—he’ll probably be interrogated soon too.”

Atsumu frowned. “Why did you wait so long?”

“Sawamura told me to ask you if you wanted to be there.”

Atsumu’s immediate response was no—he never wanted to see Hinata ever again. Then he reconsidered, there was something about Sakusa’s gaze. Something hopeful shimmered in his eyes.

“Are you going?” he asked.

“Sawamura wants me to, yeah.” Sakusa looked down, as if to conceal how he really felt about it. “He’ll probably want me to ask the questions too.”

“But do you want to?”

The slump in Sakusa’s shoulders told him everything he needed to know.

“Why do you listen to him?”

Silence.

Sakusa would never admit it, but he didn’t want to do this alone, Atsumu could tell. And Atsumu would never let him do this alone.

“I’m coming with you.”

Two days later Atsumu had been discharged from the hospital and Sakusa had been there waiting for him.

The walk to the interrogation room had been silent, both had been too busy mentally preparing themselves for what awaited ahead. Sakusa had put his mask on again, the moment they’d stepped out of the hospital room. Atsumu had been slightly surprised he hadn’t been wearing it when he’d visited him.

Surprise had been evident on Sawamura’s face when Atsumu had told him he'd join Sakusa in the interrogation.

“Your commitment to our cause is admirable, Mr Miya,” he'd said formally.

Atsumu hadn't told him that it was definitely not for ‘their cause’ that he’d decided to join. He just didn’t want Sakusa to be alone in this. Hinata had been his friend too—he’d been betrayed too.

Sakusa had known Hinata longer than Atsumu had, so he knew Sakusa felt at least just as hurt as Atsumu.

Sakusa and Atsumu had briefly made eye-contact, before they'd both taken a deep breath.

“Ready?”

Atsumu had nodded.

Together they'd walked through the door.

The moment he walked in, Atsumu knew it had been a mistake.

It was hard to see Hinata sitting there handcuffed to the table with such a hateful expression on his face. Almost like a shadow of the Hinata he’d known was sitting there.

Atsumu’s brain had turned off. He blindly followed Sakusa and sat down next to him.

“What is your name?” Sakusa asked, his voice sounding detached.

“Hinata Shouyou.”

Atsumu was almost surprised it hadn’t been a fake name.

“Who do you work for?”

“I work for no one. I already told him that,” Hinata said, referring to Atsumu.

This was way harder that he’d expected. He looked away from Hinata, and instead watched Sakusa.

Atsumu could see the tension radiating from him—he could see the restrained anger. If he hadn’t known Sakusa as well as he does now, he wouldn’t have noticed, he wouldn’t have looked further than the composed exterior.

It was the way Sakusa was sitting up a little straighter than he usually did, like he was about to jump at Hinata. His neutral stare was just a couple degrees colder.

“What organisation do you lead?”

“I am one of the leaders of VIS,” he replied, predictably.

“What have you told them about us?” Sakusa spoke with a tone that could only be described as measured

“Everything.”

“Be specific.”

“Everything I know, they know.”

Atsumu narrowed his eyes into slits. “Stop being vague,” he said, angrily. “Just fucking answer the question—tell us what you were planning.”

“It’s a shame Sakusa got there before I got to your vocal chords, Atsumu. Your voice is so annoying.”

Atsumu froze.

Next to him, Sakusa stood up quickly.

"Don't call me that."

"It's your name, is it not?"

"Not for you it isn't. Not anymore."

He looked over to Sakusa, who appeared just about ready to drag Hinata over the table and use the knife—Atsumu had seen on his thigh—on Hinata until he was no longer breathing.

That’s not what he ended up doing, though. He bent down, stopping close to Atsumu’s ear.

“Let’s step outside for a minute,” he whispered.

Atsumu nodded.

He got up and walked out of the room with Sakusa on his heels.

“You don’t have to stay, Miya. He’ll keep this up to get under your skin—under both our skins.”

And leave Sakusa alone to deal with Hinata? That’s not happening.

“No, it’s okay. I’ll stay.”

Sakusa sighed. “Okay. But remember, you can always change your mind.”

Atsumu nodded, starting to walk towards the door again.

“And Miya?” Sakusa said, stopping him with a hand on his bicep. “I want you to know that there’s nothing I’d like more than to rip him apart, but we need answers.”

“I know.” Atsumu tried to give him a comforting smile, but he wasn’t sure it had worked when nothing on Sakusa’s face changed.

“You really shouldn’t be here for this.”

“Neither should you,” Atsumu countered.

Sakusa looked away from him and sighed.

“I can’t change your mind, can I?”

“No,” Atsumu said stubbornly. “Let’s go back inside.”

He saw Hinata smile tauntingly when they entered the room again. “Sakusa, if he annoys you too much, I’ll help you hide the body.”

Sakusa ignored him. “Why did you wait until now to blow your cover? What were you planning?”

“You mean besides his death? I am serious about that by the way—I know how much you hate him. What was it again: ‘a phony idiot who doesn’t have a serious bone in his body’?”

Atsumu wasn’t surprised Sakusa had complained to Hinata about him, he’d done the same. He could only hope that Sakusa didn’t feel like that anymore.

They hadn’t talked about the obvious animosity that had been between them. It had gradually lessened—it would be too much to call it gone, but if Atsumu was honest, it wasn’t far from that for him.

“But instead of killing the useless nitwit here, my—” he stopped himself, “he got killed. And you’ll pay for that, Miya. Do you hear me? You’ll pay for that!”

“Hinata, enough,” Sakusa said, his voice sounding final.

But Hinata didn’t hear him, he just started laughing manically.

“They’ll come for me! And when they do, the first thing I’ll do is kill you, Miya.”

Atsumu swallowed, his throat dryer than two weeks old bread.

“You’ll never get a good night's sleep ever again, now,” he sneered. “You don’t deserve that!”

He stared at Hinata unblinkingly. Deep down he knew he deserved Hinata yelling at him. He deserved to pay for what he’d done. The guilt sat heavy in his throat—so heavy that no sound came out at first, when he tried to say something.

He took a deep breath, trying to gather himself.

“Why did you wait so long to attack me? Why not immediately after I got into the car with you?”

Hinata ignored him, his head twisting in a weird way. He was in pain from fighting the drink, Atsumu realized.

Atsumu looked down, unable to ask Hinata again.

It appeared Sakusa didn’t seem to share his sympathies for Hinata, because he pressed on. “Answer him, Hinata. I will force more of that drink down your damn throat. You know me well enough to know, I will do it.”

Hinata gritted his teeth, his fists clenched, as he, once again, ignored the question.

Sakusa reached for the bottle. The clear liquid looked so innocent, it shimmered more than normal water, but that was all.

Atsumu stopped Sakusa with a hand on his arm, before he could get up to make good on his threat.

Of course, Hinata didn’t miss the motion. “Of all the missions you could’ve chosen to bury the hatchet between you two, you just had to choose this one.”

“Hinata, I’m giving you one last chance,” Atsumu warned him. “I won’t stop Sakusa again.”

“Did you make him like you, Sakusa? Like you did with Tsukishima.”

Atsumu’s heart dropped to his throat when he heard the name. Sakusa seemed to flinch as well.

“Tsukishima Kei?” Atsumu asked.

Hinata nodded absentmindedly, before he focused back on Sakusa. “Did you know he was real messed up when you left? But don’t worry, he's found his place with us.”

Atsumu’s mouth had dropped open. Tsukishima had been his colleague during his time with the police as a detective.

“He’s with you? He works for VIS?”

“Yeah, we’re everywhere,” Hinata said casually.

Tsukishima had been the last person from the police force he’d expected to be dirty. He had been yet another person Atsumu seemed to have misjudged completely.

“Oh yeah, that’s right I forgot, you knew him,” Hinata said, taking in Atsumu’s facial expression. “Tsukishima calling the victim who’d just gotten blown to pieces, didn’t seem suspicious to you? Kageyama told me he’d planted that clue in your head. He’d hoped you’d find your way back to us.”

It felt like the world had frozen around him. How could he have ignored that? All the time he’d spent chasing down Kageyama, and he’d completely ignored the best clue he’d gotten. He felt stupid—no, stupid didn’t even cut it.

“Hinata, answer the question,” Sakusa pressed again.

“Fine,” he said finally. He was quiet for a moment, seemingly trying to collect himself. “I thought T– h-he’d gotten out. He wasn’t there when we brought the other Wielders in, so I thought he’d escaped. I didn’t know he was…d-dead until I read the mission report.”

With so much pain reflecting in his eyes, Atsumu had to look away before his own eyes would tear up. Hinata wasn’t his friend anymore, but the connection Atsumu thought they’d shared, had yet to fade—the laughs they’d had together, the tears they’d shared, the deep thoughts late at night.

“You never told him about Tsukishima and you, did you?” Hinata didn’t even glance at Atsumu, he just watched Sakusa.

“There’s nothing to tell, Hinata.”

“Are you sure Miya wouldn’t want to know about how you broke Tsukishima’s heart? I mean you’re friends now, right?”

“That’s enough, Hinata.”

“You broke his heart, because you can’t ever love anyone, can you Sakusa? That’s always your problem, isn’t it? You see others give their love to you, but you can't ever bring yourself to love them back.”

Atsumu felt a surge of anger, but he quickly contained it before he could do something stupid like blasting Hinata through the wall. It wouldn’t work anyway because of the powerdampening room.

"You pretend to care—you try so hard, but there's nothing there. You don't feel a thing."

The worst thing was that Atsumu could actually see Hinata enjoying this.

Atsumu looked at Sakusa. Sakusa was reading through his notes, pretending to ignore Hinata. He could tell Sakusa had heard what Hinata had said, because he seemed to have folded in on himself—as if the words had caused actual physical harm.

He wondered how much of what Hinata had said was the truth. He knew Sakusa believed there to be at least some truth to it, because he’d seen Sakusa’s reaction when Atsumu had said something similar to him earlier.

God, he’s so sorry about that now.

“Earlier you said you are one of the leaders,” Sakusa remarked, “who are the others?”

Atsumu admired Sakusa for his ability to hold himself together.

“Oikawa Tooru and—” he paused, and suddenly started smiling.

He looked at Atsumu with an expression that could only be described with the German word schadenfreude.

“...and Miya Osamu.”

For a moment Atsumu sat frozen in place.

Then he quickly got up, the chair he’d been sitting on falling over.

He walked out.

Atsumu didn’t leave—he couldn’t, Sakusa was still in there. Instead, he opted to watch the rest of the interrogation through the one-way mirror next to Sawamura.

He blinked away the angry tears that had gathered in his eyes. His brother, a leader of VIS—he couldn't believe it. He was not only a member of an organisation that killed non-Wielders, but he was a fucking leader of one.

He couldn’t bring himself to listen to the interrogation anymore.

He could only watch Sakusa, praying he could handle this, that he wouldn’t break.

Hinata and Sakusa had been friends for so long. He probably knew things, personal things, about Sakusa that were too intimate to share. Hinata was using them against Sakusa now. The interrogation was being recorded and would be analysed later on.

Atsumu couldn’t let that happen to Sakusa. He had the right to privacy as much as everyone else—the investigation be damned.

He walked towards the computer, and easily found the button to stop the recording.

To his surprise, Sawamura didn’t stop him. He merely gave him a look of understanding and turned back to the interrogation.

Against better judgement, Atsumu tuned in too.

“...how you once told me that you’re afraid you aren’t capable of loving anyone, because you never had an example of how to. Your parents never loved you. They made that clear many times, didn’t they?”

Sakusa’s ice-cold voice sounded through the speakers. “Answer my question.”

“Now that we’re on the topic, let’s talk about your little daddy issues.”

Atsumu saw Sakusa’s eyes darting to the one-way mirror.

Hinata didn’t miss it either. “Aww afraid your little secret is going to get out? You should’ve thought about that before taking me in. Don’t you think it’s time for the people of Xinmar to know why you wear that mask? I know some must’ve at least wondered.”

Sakusa’s hands had clenched into fists on the table. Atsumu could feel Sakusa's desperation through the glass. 

“Your father said he’d never want to see you smile ever again, so you started wearing that mask. Isn’t that pathetic?”

Atsumu shook himself out of his stupor. They shouldn’t be hearing this.

“You know nothing! So shut up and just answer my fucking questions!”

Atsumu could see the amusement on Hinata’s face. He was in pain from not answering Sakusa’s questions, but it didn’t seem to outweigh his enjoyment.

“You don’t even remember half the shit you told me when you were drunk.”

He saw Sakusa freeze.

“Remember when you first arrived at VIS, how much of a mess you were. You drank to block out other people’s feelings, because you couldn’t deal with them. Always so sensitive, aren’t you?”

Desperately, Atsumu searched for a button, a wire—anything he could use to shut down the intercom system.

“You know, you and Miya deserve each other—both so fucking pathetic.”

He stilled at the mention of his name.

“Do you think he’s still watching now? Shall we check? Hey Miya!”

Hinata was smiling at the one-way mirror. There was no way for him to know where he was, but somehow he knew anyway because he looked right at Atsumu.

Atsumu’s heart was pounding in his chest.

“You should know Sakusa has wanted to fuck you ever since you walked though the door here.”

Oh.

Sakusa was staring at the notepad in front of him—face blank, not responding to anything Hinata was saying anymore.

“Yes, he dislikes you, he’s mentioned that many times—both drunk and sober. But you should’ve heard him a week after you’d arrived here. I don’t think I’ve ever heard such a vulgar description of what he wanted to do to you. He ached to know what a night with—”

Atsumu had ripped the box from the speakers clean off the wall, effectively breaking the wire it was attached to as well.

The silence was deafening.

He knew Hinata couldn’t have been lying about what Sakusa had said to him. The fact that Atsumu had heard it, made him feel all sorts of wrong.

It wasn’t fair. Everyone has the right to have secrets, not everything should be out in the open. 

The worst thing was that the other people in the room with Atsumu had heard it too. Atsumu slowly turned to Sawamura whose eyebrows had nearly disappeared into his hairline.

Atsumu almost felt embarrassed for Sakusa.

Sawamura took one glance at Atsumu, then he told everyone to clear the room.

At last, he turned to Atsumu. “Mr Miya, I trust that you have this handled. If you need me I’ll be in my office.”

Atsumu nodded gratefully, awkwardly putting down the broken speaker. He heard the door close behind Sawamura.

Tiredly, Atsumu sank down on the chair tuned towards the window.

Hinata was aggressively gesturing and he saw his mouth move quickly. There was nothing about him, Atsumu recognized. His face was the same, but he was sure he’d never seen Hinata wear that expression.

It hit Atsumu then: there was nothing left of the Shouyou he’d known. He’d shown his true face—the happy-go-lucky mask had been discarded.

His cheerful friend was gone—or he’d never been there at all—Atsumu didn’t know.

Obviously Atsumu couldn’t hear what was being said in the interrogation room now, but he watched Sakusa—checking for any signs that he needed out.

There weren’t any, but Atsumu could tell Sakusa was getting more uncomfortable by the minute. He could see Sakusa’s chest moving up and down quickly.

Atsumu wanted to give him a hug and tell Sakusa how everything was going to be okay—that it was going to be over soon. How strong he was for continuing, even though it was unfair that he even had to be there.

Finally, Atsumu saw him getting up. Hinata seemed to still be shouting at him, but Sakusa paid no mind to it as he walked out.

A couple seconds later the door opened to the room Atsumu was sitting in.

Sakusa’s eyes swept over the room, obviously surprised to find the room nearly empty. When he spotted Atsumu, he immediately averted his gaze.

“Are you okay?” Atsumu asked him.

Sakusa nodded unconvincingly.

“Where’s—” he cleared his throat, “where’s everyone?”

“Sawamura sent everyone away and went to his office after I—” he glanced at the broken speaker.

Sakusa followed his gaze. “S-should I ask how much you’ve heard?”

Atsumu swallowed.

“Listen, I can explain–”

“No need,” Atsumu said, holding up his hand to stop Sakusa. “Just…did he say anything important?”

He knew better than to ask Sakusa for a word for word recollection of the conversation.

“Uhh—”

He’d rarely seen Sakusa this shaken and uncomfortable.

“I do hope you paid attention to what he’s said. We have nearly nothing recorded, and after I ripped the speaker off the wall—we didn’t hear anything.”

He should’ve probably phrased it a bit less cold. The weirdness between them made him uneasy, and didn’t know how to act anymore.

“Yeah, uhm— sorry,” he stumbled. “He talked about... how VIS was infiltrating Xinmar, s-so they could take over at some point. We have a lot of Wielders, that’s why. VIS wants that power.”

“Did he talk about another of theirs undercover here?”

“No, he said he was alone."

“Good to hear that.”

“Yeah," Sakusa said quietly, still avoiding his eyes.

Fuck, this was awkward.

“Right, well I’ll go now,” Atsumu said, while walking to the door. “You should brief Sawamura.”

And if Atsumu walked a bit faster than normal towards the door, who could blame him?

“Miya,” Sakusa called, just before Atsumu had closed the door.

Atsumu stopped.

For fucks sake, he’d almost made it.

“Thank you.”

Atsumu nodded in acknowledgement, and closed the door.

Chapter Text

A couple hours later, Atsumu stood in the middle of his room. He hadn’t moved since the moment he’d entered the room.

He tried to erase Hinata’s words from his mind, however he knew he’d never be able to. There was a weird kind of guilt clinging to him from having heard Sakusa’s secrets.

Was Sakusa okay?

Atsumu knew he wouldn’t be if his darkest secrets had just been exposed like that.

Should he check up on him?

He’d started pacing several times through his room—stopping in front of his door every time, before turning back around. He’s probably the last person Sakusa would want to talk to now.

His mind floated back to Hinata every time he glanced to his side of the room.

He couldn’t sleep here—too many bad memories clung to the room now.

Nothing would change that—moving all the furniture, or even refurnishing entirely—nothing would help. In his head it would still be the room he’d shared with his former friend—who’d tried to kill him.

The betrayal itself had stung, but Atsumu mostly felt hurt—not angry, just hurt. He felt truly alone now. Hinata had been the first person he’d fully trusted, and had let close to him after ‘losing’ his brother three years ago.

Memories about what had happened plagued his mind. He was freezing, it was cold.

The pain was over, but Atsumu still didn’t feel safe. The severe pain from the burns had brought back feelings he’d thought to have buried by now—the fear, the anxiety, the helplessness.

He’d felt so out of control, so betrayed by his body. Why had it let Atsumu feel so much pain?

He knew pain was a warning signal of the body that something was wrong, that damage was being done or had been done. But the pain had been physical, and now Atsumu felt mentally distressed. And that confused him.

He still didn’t feel safe. He wanted to go home and curl up wrapped in a blanket.

He wanted to disappear from the world around him, to reset, so the world around him would disappear for a bit.

He’d emerge again when he was sure it was safe for him to do so, but for now, he longed to isolate himself.

Intending to go anywhere but here, he left the room.

Immediately, he bumped into Sakusa, who’d apparently been standing in front of his door.

Sakusa took one look at him, and seemed to know exactly what he wanted.

“Do you want me to take you home?” Sakusa asked.

Atsumu nodded, not bothering to collect his things—he had enough clothes at home, and he’d come back later.

A silence, more comfortable than it probably should be, settled between them as Sakusa drove.

Soon they’d arrived at Atsumu’s home, but neither had made a move to get out of the car. Even though he’d been so adamant on getting home earlier, Atsumu suddenly didn’t feel like going in yet.

Sakusa turned off the engine.

“It wasn’t fair of Sawamura to ask that from you.”

Sakusa stayed quiet for so long after that, that Atsumu wondered if he was going to respond at all.

“He apologized to me,” Sakusa said finally. “He said he’d send us in, because we were the ones that knew Hinata best. He hadn’t considered the fact that Hinata knew us too—and that he’d use that.”

“He should’ve.”

Sakusa nodded.

“Are you okay?”

“No,” Sakusa said. “I don’t want to talk about it.”

To an outsider that might’ve seemed cold. But the fact that Sakusa had even answered him at all, was a big declaration that he didn’t want to shut Atsumu out completely.

“Okay,” Atsumu simply said.

He wasn’t going to bug Sakusa for more details—not about this. He’d been so brave. Atsumu was sure he’d have left before Hinata could even start talking about any personal things of his—hell, he would’ve never come to the interrogation at all.

Silence rested between them again.

“Hey, can I ask you a question?” Atsumu asked finally.

He fidgeted with his hands in his lap.

“Go ahead,” Sakusa said without any sort of remark, as if he could sense that Atsumu wanted to discuss something serious. He probably could.

“Why did you choose to join Xinmar?” he paused, then quietly added, “I don’t think I agree with them all the time.”

It was bold to state to an active member of an organisation that you didn’t agree with it. During his time at the police force he’d have most certainly been punished if he’d criticized the government to any of his colleges.

Still, the question had been on his mind for a long time and he trusted Sakusa not to rat him out.

“I don’t always agree with their methods either,” Sakusa started, surprising Atsumu with his answer.

“For example, I don’t think it’s okay to use a drink that forces people to speak the truth. It takes away their right to remain silent,” Sakusa reasoned. “But all organisations have their flaws—I prefer that over straight up killing people.”

Atsumu hummed in understanding.

“I have a question for you too,” Sakusa said a moment later. “Do you remember when you were packing in your bedroom to join Xinmar, and we got into a fight?

Atsumu nodded.

“Were you actually going to stab me?”

The question actually made Atsumu smile a bit. They’d really gotten off on the wrong foot. Atsumu couldn’t even think about stabbing Sakusa now — he wasn’t sure he’d even have done it back then.

“I thought you ‘always know what I’m going to do’,” Atsumu said, quoting Sakusa from their time on the submarine.

“I read emotions, Miya. It’s hard to tell whether people will act on them. At that time I was certain you were going to stab me, because I could feel your anger so strongly, but now—” He glanced at Atsumu. “I’m not too sure.”

Sakusa paused, but Atsumu could tell he wasn’t done talking. Sakusa unfastened his seatbelt and cleared his throat before continuing.

“You don’t take pleasure in hurting people. I could feel what you felt when you made the decision to let Kageyama die. Even though he hurt you so badly and made you believe your brother was dead for so long, you didn’t like hurting him. Yes, you were angry at him, but killing him only brought you sadness.”

Sakusa had said all of that with unwavering eye-contact. It made Atsumu feel vulnerable, but it didn’t make him scared like earlier. He trusted Sakusa and he was okay with him knowing what he was feeling. No one understood him like Sakusa, that much could be said.

“Yeah, I did what had to be done. He was hurting so many people.”

Atsumu thought about all the people, the children, Kageyama could’ve killed on the submarine. He thought about all the non-Wielders Kageyama had already hurt with that awful drug. The thought about Butterfly still being out there, kept him up at night.

“Not just so many people, he hurt you. It’s okay to be angry about that.”

Atsumu looked away, hands letting go of the seatbelt he’d been fiddling with. He unclasped it too.

“He’s dead. Why aren’t you telling me to let it go? Wouldn’t that be healthier?”

“In time, maybe, but you haven’t processed it yet. You don’t want to feel angry, because it makes you feel guilty. You’re allowed to be angry with someone, even if they’re dead. Dead people don’t get a free pass from that.”

Atsumu let the words sink in for a moment. He knew he hadn’t processed everything and with all the new traumatizing things that had happened, and he couldn’t help but feel like he needed a break. Preferably a very long one, so long he’d get bored.

“It just seems pointless to hate someone who’s dead,” he sighed.

“It’s not pointless if it helps you process what happened and acknowledge how you feel about it.” Sakusa ran his hand through his hair to get the locks out of his eyes—it was getting a bit long, Atsumu noticed. “You’re the one that has to keep going.”

“So you’re telling me to be angry, so I can move on.”

“You don’t necessarily have to move on. If you want to stay angry with him, that’s okay. You can be angry with him and be happy yourself,” Sakusa reasoned.

“I don’t think I’m angry, I’m just—” it was hard for him to admit the next part. “I guess I’m just sad.”

And that much was true. Atsumu felt like he was drowning in the all-encompassing sadness. Some moments he wondered how it was possible to feel like you’re in the process of drowning all the time — shouldn’t you have started to swim or died at some point?

The look Sakusa gave him was so understanding that Atsumu wanted to cry.

“I shouldn’t be like this,” Atsumu said after a while.

“Like what?”

“So messed up, so–”, he didn’t know what to call it. “It was just some pain, and–”

“No, don’t–” Sakusa interrupted him, “don’t minimize what you went through. And you’re not messed up.”

“Well you told me I was faking being alright, and that there was something wrong.”

“I know what I said,” Sakusa said softly, not sounding irritated at all. “I told you that you were hiding your pain and that your past still weighs on you. I didn’t say that there was something fundamentally wrong with your mind, or you in general.”

“...Well, thanks?”

“You don’t have to answer if you feel like I’m overstepping, but I was wondering how you’re doing in general? After everything that’s happened— ”

The question was a bit odd, considering Sakusa could tell how he was feeling, but Atsumu appreciated the sentiment all the same.

“I–”

Atsumu first thought about saying he was fine, like always. He changed his mind when he saw the soft expression on Sakusa’s face. Not judging, just simply asking.

“...I feel empty. I used to be happy, before all of this happened,” he gestured in the air with frustration. “Before Kageyama fucked everything up two years ago. I don’t want to let him win, but I’m afraid it’s already too late. He’s dead and it’s still too late.”

He looked at his hands in defeat.

“What makes it too late?”

“I’m already too fucked up,” his voice cracked at the admission.

“It’s not too late,” Sakusa said firmly. “If you decide it’s too late, then yes it is, but I don’t think it is.”

It wasn’t the first time he’d wondered what Sakusa had done before joining Xinmar. Had he been a healthcare worker, a counselor? His words sounded very wise and they left Atsumu feeling a bit better.

At the same time he felt guilty and pathetic for bothering Sakusa with his insecurities.

“I’m sorry,” he apologized, “the wallowing in self-pity must be annoying you.”

“It doesn’t annoy me, Miya, but it does bother me.”

Atsumu’s throat tightened briefly when he heard Sakusa say that, but then Sakusa explained further.

“You didn’t fight so hard and saved so many people, just to torment yourself like this. You deserve to be happy too.”

Atsumu wanted to believe that, but he felt like life thought otherwise. It would always take away his happiness.

Eventually, Atsumu said what he’d been thinking all this time.

“I think– I think this is supposed to be my happy ending,” he said quietly. “I mean Kageyama is dead, I got my revenge. But I don’t… I don’t feel happy.”

Atsumu took a deep breath.

“And sometimes, I’m afraid I won’t ever get to that happy place again. That I’ll forever be stuck in bad moments, and then dealing with the consequences of the bad memories of those moments. What if this is all I can take before I just…lose it?”

Silence followed—one that made all the difference.

He glanced at Sakusa and suddenly understood why he hadn’t said anything yet.

He was crying.

Atsumu frowned. It was strange to see Sakusa like that—vulnerable. And he didn’t like it.

He felt like he should look away, out of respect. But when he truly looked at Sakusa, something in his chest twisted.

Sakusa sat completely still, the tears slipping down his face without a sound. He looked frozen in place, caught in some trance-like state of sadness.

A lifetime ago Atsumu might’ve cheered at seeing Sakusa show emotion.

Now, he only wanted to cry with him. He wanted to ask what was wrong, to reach out, but the moment felt fragile.

So he stayed quiet.

And yet, the silence felt loud. Like it marked the beginning of a new chapter in their strange relationship.

There had been no yelling, no punches.

Just the quiet fall of tears from Sakusa’s eyes.

Atsumu felt a sudden protectiveness toward him.

Sakusa could cry in front of Atsumu, and Atsumu wouldn’t tell a single soul. He wouldn’t even tease him with a stupid joke.

At some point during the silence, Atsumu’s hand had found Sakusa’s.

He’d meant it as a quiet I’m here, but it ended up being just as comforting for him as it was for Sakusa.

And so they sat, fingers intertwined.

At that moment Atsumu just knew Hinata couldn’t have been more wrong. Sakusa wasn’t some cold and emotionless jerk who didn’t care about anything.

Sakusa did care.

He’d comforted him after a panic attack on the submarine.

Sakusa had stayed with him the entire time he’d been unconscious in the hospital.

What Sakusa had just done had made him realize that he didn’t just care, he’d put Atsumu’s needs above his own. He’d driven him home, even though Atsumu had just found out some of his deepest secrets—which had been horribly violating.

Those were all actions of someone who cared, who was utterly selfless. A couple months ago he wouldn’t even have considered using that word to describe Sakusa. Now, it was the only thing that came to mind.

The silence between them stretched on, but it never turned uncomfortable.

Sakusa had wiped his eyes, and they sat side by side, staring out the window.

Eventually, Atsumu felt it was time to go inside.

“Before I forget,” Sakusa said, reaching into his pocket. “Here’s the necklace.”

He handed him the emerald on the silver cord.

“The doctor took it off you when—”

He didn’t finish the sentence, but Atsumu nodded anyway, slipping the necklace into his pocket.

“Do you want me to stay?” Sakusa asked carefully.

“No, I think it’s best if I’m alone for now.”

He knew he wouldn’t be able to sleep otherwise—not with someone else in the room. Not after the last person who he’d shared a room with him had tried to kill him.

He trusted Sakusa not to hurt him, but half-asleep, he wasn’t sure his body would remember that.

He stepped inside.

When the door closed behind him, he heard Sakusa start the engine.

Atsumu closed his eyes and leaned against the door, staying there for a long time.

Atsumu entered Sawamura’s office after not having left his house for the past few days.

He’d stayed home for four days.

Four days to cry and to scream at the memories of his past.

Four days to rethink his life and overthink everything.

And four days to start thinking about what he wanted to do now.

Now, he’d made up his mind.

“Hello Miya, you wanted to see me,” Sawamura said, smiling cordially.

Atsumu closed the door behind him and took a seat opposite Sawamura at his desk.

“Yes, well uhm,” Atsumu said, struggling to find the right words. He almost wanted to leave again—not feeling ready to deal with anything yet, but he stayed. He respected Sawamura and he felt like he owed him this conversation.

“I guess there’s no way to really ease into this, but I’m leaving Xinmar. I figured you were the person I needed to talk to.”

He did it, he’d said it. There was no going back now.

For a moment Sawamura looked taken aback, but then his face showed a pensive expression.

“I must say that it surprises me,” he paused, “but yes, I’m the right person to talk to about that. We are going to miss you here, but if that’s what you think is best then I’m not going to tell you to stay.”

“Thank you,” Atsumu gave him a small smile. “Is there any paperwork I need to sign before I go then?”

“No it’s okay, I’ll send them to your home address—assuming you’ll be staying there?”

“Yeah, I think I’ll stick around for at least another few weeks and then I’ll see.”

“Good.”

A brief pause in the conversation followed, where they were both unsure of how to end the conversation.

“Well it has been something,” he said for lack of better words to describe his time at Xinmar. “I’m just going to grab my stuff from my room and say goodbye to everyone.”

They shook hands and Atsumu turned around to walk towards the door.

“Miya, not that you need to answer me, but why do you want to part with us?”

Atsumu took a second to think about that.

“Someone made me realize I need some time and a calm environment, maybe I’ll find a new home somewhere.”

Sawamura smiled.

“Good luck Miya, I hope you find what you’re looking for.”

He’d have liked to say that had been it. That he’d left Xinmar and it was all good.

It hadn’t been.

Atsumu had been on his way with his bags, after saying goodbye to a couple of friends, when the alarm sounded; the shrill sound of it made him want to cover his ears.

People around him immediately stopped what they were doing and went to either evacuate, or they headed to their assigned post.

There was a slight problem had to face then: he didn’t know what this alarm meant.

He knew Xinmar had various sounds for different critical situations, but he was clueless as to what this one meant. Was it a fire? Were they under atta—

The entire building started filling with what Atsumu first thought to be smoke, but later realized was just damp air.

A strange fog enveloped him. The moist heavy air made him feel claustrophobic—he couldn’t even see his own feet. His eyelashes had wetly clung together. He blinked away the excess water that had gathered in his eyes.

Atsumu desperately squinted his eyes, trying to see anything around him, but it was impossible. His breathing quickened.

Something lightly touched his wrist. Atsumu immediately jerked away.

But not quick enough.

He was grabbed by his shoulder and pulled behind a curtain; it was the curtain that was usually used to separate the large cafeteria from the meeting place. There was more space behind it than he’d originally thought.

The hand covered both his mouth and nose, so he couldn’t make a sound or breathe. Panic surged through his body at the memory of what had happened not even a week ago, when Hinata’s hand had been the one covering his mouth.

Barely a moment later, he realised whom the hand and the arm were attached to.

Sakusa.

He didn't know how he'd known it was Sakusa that quickly, but he was certain. How? was a question Atsumu would busy himself with later during his 3 a.m. overthinking spree.

He stopped trying to pull the hand from his mouth, figuring Sakusa must have a good reason to hold Atsumu hostage like that—or he’s going to make sure Sakusa is going to regret it. He was already thinking of the headlines: MAN WAKES UP IN ANIMAL SHELTER WITH HEAD IN LITTERBOX BUT HAS NO IDEA HOW HE GOT THERE.

Before Atsumu could think of which newspaper he’d email the photos to, Sakusa’s reason became apparent when Atsumu saw a shadow of a person standing in front of the curtain. If Sakusa’s hand hadn’t been covering his mouth and nose already, he’d have held his breath.

Sakusa’s other arm was wrapped around Atsumu’s chest—the hand resting on his shoulder, where his thumb was rubbing back and forth soothingly.

Atsumu gently tapped Sakusa’s hand to let him know that he kinda needed to breathe again at some point. 

Sakusa took the hint and removed his hand.

As quietly as he could, Atsumu took a deep breath.

Atsumu didn’t know what was happening or who was on the other side of the curtain, but he knew for certain he didn’t want to meet them. He pressed himself further back against Sakusa.

That turned out to be a mistake, because Sakusa hadn’t exactly been prepared for Atsumu pushing against him—he tripped. Atsumu could hear the air being expelled from his chest as he landed on top of Sakusa.

To Sakusa’s credit, Atsumu only heard a small hiss, but he otherwise took the impact like a champ.

Atsumu was frozen in fear.

The shadow had probably heard them, must’ve heard them.

He briefly closed his eyes in fear. It was never too late to try the ‘if I can’t see you, you can’t see me’.

Seconds were ticking by and they didn’t dare to move an inch.

Slowly, he moved his head to the side to check the curtain.

The shadow had disappeared.

Finally, he could relax.

“It’s VIS, they’ve come for Hinata,” Sakusa whispered close to his ear.

Or not.

It was then that Atsumu realized their awkward situation. He was on his back, using Sakusa like a damn mattress. He clumsily scrambled off him and held out his hand to help Sakusa up, Sakusa took it and was soon once again upright like Atsumu.

The moment he registered Sakusa’s words, he could feel himself panic. Hinata had told him they’d come for him, and what he’d do to Atsumu—

Should he stay here? Should he run?

They were still behind the curtain. Being hidden like that did make him feel safer, but what if Hinata thought to check there?

He moved to carefully open the curtain a tiny bit, but he was immediately pulled backwards.

Luckily, Sakusa’s hand had moved to cover Atsumu’s mouth again, because he was sure he would’ve at least yelped.

Another shadow appeared, this time with a voice.

“Miya! Where are you, you coward!” Hinata’s voice sounded hoarse.

Loud quick steps passed them.

“If you don’t come out now, I’ll burn this whole place down!”

A lot of shouting followed. Atsumu was frozen in fear.

“I hope you weren’t too attached to the people here!” he said sing-songingly.

Immediately, Atsumu pushed himself forward—or tried to, at least. Sakusa’s arms had wrapped around him completely and were holding him tightly.

“Don’t,” Sakusa whispered harshly.

Atsumu started squirming even more, not even the slightest bit intimidated.

Dammit, Sakusa was strong. His arms were wrapped around him like metal cables. It hurt with how hard he was squeezing Atsumu.

“Give them time, Miya,” Sakusa said, sounding strained. “There are a lot of well-trained Wielders out there.”

Atsumu stopped struggling, turning around in Sakusa’s arms. Maybe he could convince Sakusa, before having to punch him.

Sakusa’s arms were still wrapped around him, obviously mistrustful about Atsumu’s sudden pliantness.

“It’s me he wants.” Atsumu couldn’t keep the anxious waver out of his voice. “I can’t let other people get hurt.”

His eyes were darting and forth between Sakusa’s eyes, pleading Sakusa to let him go.

“No,” Sakusa said, shaking his head quickly. “Let them handle it.”

“Let me go, Sakusa.”

Sakusa held on, arms tightening even more.

“I’ll use my powers,” he threatened.

“So will I.”

“Don’t make me do this.”

He absolutely didn’t want to do it. What if he accidentally blew Sakusa too far back? His mind created the image of Sakusa’s lifeless eyes staring back at him—a cracked skull.

He couldn’t do it, fuck.

Back to plan A: trying to escape Sakusa without using his powers.

He let his entire body go limb.

Impressively, Sakusa held him up for a moment, before he inevitably crashed down on top of him.

Atsumu immediately flipped them over, hoping to make a quick exit then, but Sakusa still had his arms wrapped around him.

He pushed his hands against Sakusa’s chest, hoping to get some space between them.

His nails scratched over Sakusa’s arms, but he wouldn’t budge.

After another failed attempt, he rounded his back to try and get his knee between them. Sakusa had obviously seen that coming, because he’d hooked his legs over Atsumu’s—desperately clinging to him, as Atsumu turned them sideways.

That fucking leech.

“For fucks sake, Sakusa, just let me go!”

His head accidentally bumped against Sakusa’s. It caused Sakusa to loosen his arms an immeasurably small bit, but it was enough for Atsumu.

Suddenly, he was holding a knife against Sakusa’s throat—he’d taken it from the sheath on Sakusa’s thigh.

At that, they both stopped moving. Atsumu could see the blood slowly start to stream from Sakusa’s nose—he’d bumped into Sakusa’s nose then.

“Now what?”

Sakusa’s eyes held the harshest stare he’d ever seen them have. There was no fear in them. Despite the determined facade Atsumu tried to keep up, Sakusa knew he would never cut him.

There was too much between them—too many shared experiences—a deeper connection than just acquaintances, or whatever they were now.

“Just stop, please,” his voice cracked.

Tears had started to gather in his eyes.

Never in a million years he’d imagined himself like this again—threatening Sakusa with a knife.

“I won’t just stand by and watch you get hurt, not again,” Sakusa said fiercely.

“That’s not your decision!”

The hand around Atsumu’s wrist briefly tightened and he could see the raw desperation on Sakusa’s face.

Then Sakusa started pressing against Atsumu’s wrist to push the knife firmer to his own throat.

Atsumu’s eyes widened. He instantly tensed his muscles to keep the knife from pressing too deep.

His arms were shaking—and so was the rest of his body. The fear of Hinata finding them was nothing compared to the terror he was in now, trying not to hurt Sakusa.

Once again, Sakusa was winning with his strength.

“Stop!” he said, panicking. His heart was pounding in his throat.

“You need to stop trying to get yourself killed,” Sakusa said, sounding way too calm for someone pressing a knife to his own throat.

Atsumu could see blood welling up from the cut. The red liquid looked so out of place on his neck.

As if burned, Atsumu dropped the knife.

One look at Sakusa’s face told him that had been his intention all along. Sakusa had manipulated him, but Atsumu had to admit that it had been a smart move.

His head dropped down on Sakusa’s chest in defeat. The fight had drained out of him as the adrenaline faded.

He had been so scared—now he was furious.

“Fuck you,” he murmered into Sakusa’s chest.

Sakusa’s arm had slackened around him, and his legs were now simply resting on Atsumu's calfs.

“You’re insane,” Atsumu said, still trying to catch his breath.

“Is it so bad that I don’t want you to die?”

“...well it’s most certainly inconvenient,” he retorted, and angrily shook his wrist from Sakusa’s grip.

Instantly, Sakusa tensed again and Atsumu took in his expectant look, as he lifted his head from Sakusa’s chest.

“Enough, Miya.”

Atsumu hesitated.

Before he could even think about doing anything else, Sakusa flipped them over.

“Hey, I wasn’t going to try again!”

“I’m having trouble trusting you about that right now.”

“Sounds like a you problem.”

“I’m not the one pinned to the floor because of it,” Sakusa pointed out.

“How admirable,” Atsumu sneered, “you’ve managed to make it my problem too.”

“You are so infuriating,” Sakusa said, clenching his jaw as he struggled with Atsumu’s hands trying to attack him—pushing at his sides.

“You’re not exactly a mood booster for me either.”

Atsumu attempted to twist his upper body to throw Sakusa off balance, but failed because Sakusa had managed to grab both his arms. They were now pinned on either side of his head.

“I was wrong. I don’t know what you eat, but you definitely eat—and spend way too much time in the gym.”

Atsumu resorted to kicking the back of Sakusa’s lower legs with his heels. The angle was off, so the kicking was very weak—so weak Sakusa didn’t even seem to notice it.

“I can tell you that it’s not Bugles. I hate those things.”

Atsumu almost smiled. Almost.

"Scandalous."

“They’re too crispy,” Sakusa defended.

“There’s no such thing as ‘too crispy’.” Atsumu took a deep breath—something he hadn’t done since Sakusa had dropped down on top of him. “Besides, they’re crisps—they’re supposed to be crispy.”

“I don’t like crisps in general.”

“I have no words.”

“Good, we should be quieter anyways.” Atsumu rolled his eyes at that. “It’s a miracle they haven’t heard us yet.”

That reminded Atsumu of the situation on the other side of the curtain.

Wait, Sakusa wanted them to be quieter… obviously Atsumu wasn’t going to listen to that.

“Hey! W—”, he began, before Sakusa slammed his hand over Atsumu’s mouth.

Sakusa had had no choice but to let go of one of his arms, so Atsumu made use of the opportunity. He kneed Sakusa in the stomach and threw him off him.

Sakusa grunted, then gasped for air.

And he was just distracted enough for Atsumu to escape.

Atsumu broke through the curtain.

The world seemed quiet, too quiet.

One glance at the clock told him everything he needed to know: time had stopped.

There was only one person he knew that could do that.

His brother.