Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Thursday

“You know what my recommendation is, Steve,” Dr. Zemo says with a sigh, sitting across the desk from Steve and giving him that irritatingly knowing look that he always does after he does his monthly assessment.

“And you know I’m going to decline.”

“Yes, I do.” Dr. Zemo looks like he’s holding back another sigh.

He isn’t the worst doctor Steve’s ever encountered. In fact, Dr. Zemo is probably one of the best he’s ever had, since he didn’t just dismiss Steve after he declined his advice at their first appointment that Steve’s health and heats would dramatically improve if he would just let an Alpha knot him and come inside him. Steve had told multiple health care professionals that he would honestly rather die than be fucked and knotted by a stranger. He thinks Dr. Zemo is probably the only one that’s believed him so far.

Steve's told himself multiple times that he’s better off without an Alpha, better to suffer through those four days in agony in his bed despite all the drugs the doctors give him. Until those four days arrived and he wondered if the heat might actually, finally kill him. He thought he was being dramatic, but the way the doctor is looking at him across the desk right now makes him think he might not be far off with that guess.

Dr. Zemo turns the pen in his hand thoughtfully.

“What about Alpha contact?”

“What do you mean?”

“I mean physical contact that’s not sexual.”

Steve wrinkles his nose.

“I know, I know, I just thought I’d suggest it. It has been shown to improve health in Omegas, especially during heats. Not as much as a knot, no, but,” he shrugs, “it would be better than nothing. There’s an agency I can recommend that is excellent and offers a full range of services, scenting, physical contact, not just sex and knotting. They all go through a rigorous interview process and background checks.”

Steve gives a hollow laugh.

“Rigorous enough to know they can be around an Omega in heat and resist the urge to hold them down and stick their knot in them even when the Omega doesn’t want it?”

“That’s the idea,” Doctor Zemo says.

Steve frowns.

“Think about it. Please.” Zemo hands Steve a card for an advertising app called Scentsations with a QR code on it. “Just think about it. Your heat’s next Wednesday, right?”

“Yeah. Okay,” Steve sighs, taking the card and putting it in his jeans pocket, “I’ll think about it.”

*

“And you know what he said then?!” Steve continues his rant to Natasha as he sits opposite her in the coffee shop after his appointment.  

She gives him an amused, knowing look as sips on her coffee.

“He said the same thing he always does? That you need good dose of spunk?”

Steve screws up his face in disgust and Nat laughs.

“Your face, oh, my god, it’s really not that bad, Steve. It’s really quite enjoyable.”

“That’s disgusting.”

Nat rolls her eyes.

“You’ve just not met the right Alpha for you, Steve.”

Steve rolls his eyes.

“Yeah, I’m starting to think there might not be one. Not after the last one.”

Nat winces.

“Yeah, he was… gross. I agree. But, you know, this is just for a heat, it doesn’t have to be someone you want to marry, right? It can just be something casual.”

Steve makes a face.

“I tried to just have something casual with the last three dates, Nat. Look how that worked out. Maybe I’m just not into Alphas.”

“You are, though, you thought that last guy was hot. You wouldn’t have gone out with him otherwise.”

Steve sighs.

“Yeah. I guess. Until he opened his mouth. Maybe the right Alpha for me is just gonna have to be my right hand, it’s doing a very committed job so far.”

Nat laughs.

“That’s not what you said during your last heat, Steve, we nearly had to call an ambulance. Anyway, come on, what did the doctor say this time that was so bad?”

“He said that I could try one of those agency services, you know? One of those apps that match you with people,” Steve says, screwing up his face again.

“What’s so bad about that?”

“I mean, first, ew. Second, he said that they provide services that are just like… cuddling or something? Scenting. Like, that’s pathetic, right? I have to pay someone to cuddle me? That’s just… god, Nat, that’s just sad.”

“Is it? I’ve used one before,” she says casually.

Steve nearly drops his latte.  

“What?!”

“Yeah, you think I’m pathetic?”

“No!”

She laughs.

“I’m fucking with you, it’s fine.”

“But, Nat, you’re…” Steve looks her up and down pointedly, “why would you need that?”

She rolls her eyes.

“Because I was sick of Alphas hitting on me all the time whenever I went out. You get an Alpha scent all over you, the guys in the club don’t come anywhere near.”

Steve blinks. This isn’t a problem he’s ever had, but he guesses that makes sense.

“Oh. But… okay, so maybe it would be good for that, but don’t you think it’s just outdated bullshit? That I have complex medical problems and all they can suggest is that I get knotted, for god sake?”

Natasha shrugs.

“I dunno, I’m not a health care professional. But if you’re struggling in your heats and it’s because your body’s not getting Alpha spunk, the next logical step would be to get some Alpha spunk.”

Steve groans in frustration.

“I can’t afford it!”

“Yes, you can, don’t be ridiculous. I know how much your last painting sold for, you know.”

Steve huffs, forgetting that she knows everything.

“I think you can even get it on medical insurance, you know,” she says.

“What?!”

“Sure, it’s your health, Steve, remember? That’s why you’re seeing a doctor for it.”

Steve folds his arms and glares at the table.

“It’s just an app, Steve, why don’t you download it? It’s not committing to anything. Besides, if just cuddling could help you, would it be so bad?”

Steve frowns.

“I’ll think about it.”

*

Steve groans as his heat tracker app pings at him when he gets home, reminding him helpfully that he has exactly seven days, well, pretty much 6 now, to solve this problem before going through another awful heat. Dr. Zemo had even said this time he’d recommend bringing him into the hospital for it. It was ridiculous. He couldn’t be in the hospital for three days a month, every month. Maybe more on a bad month.

He didn’t trust them, either. What if they decided that he was delirious in his heat, didn’t know what he wanted, and shoved an Alpha in there with him? Nat told him that was ridiculous, they wouldn’t do that, but Steve, well… Steve didn’t trust easy.

It just seems… pathetic. Steve’s mind returns to that word again. He shouldn’t need this. Shouldn’t need an Alpha for any aspect of his life. The notification stays on his phone screen until Steve groans and swipes it away. He feels his chest getting tight again, stupid seasonal asthma, and reaches for his inhaler. As he pulls it out, the card for the app falls onto the bed. He shakes his inhaler, takes a puff and breathes in deep, glares at the card while his breathing starts to settle down.

Fuck sake. They even said that Alpha semen could help with medical conditions such as asthma, which has plagued him his whole life. That, Steve’s sure, has to be absolute bullshit. He has a horrible flashback to his last heat, when he was sitting in this exact position, but he was bent over double on himself, retching and spasming in pain.

God. Fuck it. Steve scans the QR code and downloads the stupid app.

*

He doesn’t actually open it. Can’t bring himself to. He has one of his pieces showing in a gallery that’s having a charity gala that evening and he thinks maybe he’ll make one last ditch attempt at finding an Alpha there the normal way before he resorts to this extreme. He puts on his best cream suit and powder blue shirt that Natasha says brings out his eyes.

He's doing his best to socialize, to float around the room like he’s supposed to, to see if there’s any viable Alphas there to speak to. At least then they’d have a shared interest.

The first Alpha that shows an interest is way too old, looking at Steve like he thinks he might be a sugar baby or something, and seems pretty disappointed to learn that Steve’s actually one of the artists here and not just an intern or student or something who’s desperate for money. He moves on pretty quick.

The second is a guy his age, looks nice enough, but when he starts to talk, his accent makes Steve want to rip off his own ears. He excuses himself politely. Maybe he was being too picky on that one, but he can’t let someone fuck him if he doesn’t like the way they talk, can he? Is Nat right, is he being too picky?

The third is a letch after just one thing, which Steve thinks is probably pretty hypocritical for him to be repulsed by, since Steve is only after one thing too, but he’s repulsed all the same when the Alpha’s eyes drag up and down him and the guy makes a weird comment about Steve being so small.

“Yeah, you’re so delicate, aren’t you, darling? Like a little girl.”

Nope.

Steve consoles himself that he definitely wasn’t being picky with that one. He shudders in the Uber on the way home at the idea of having to be with an Alpha like that for his heat. He sighs, a little tipsy, and opens the app on his phone. He supposes it wouldn’t hurt to try. At least these people were vetted, interviewed, whatever, and he could just not use it if he didn’t find anyone suitable.

It couldn’t be as bad as the times he’d tried dating apps… Knotalot, Top Knotch, and Heat Harmony had all been equally terrible.

It sure looks like a dating app when he opens it. He uploads a selfie he took at the gala, thinking it looks half decent, crops the other person out of it, and sets it as his profile pic. He writes a username, declines to put his real name, adds that he’s in Brooklyn, and puts in something vaguely to do with art for his job. When it asks him what he’s interested in, he sighs, staring at the options the app is giving him:

• Scenting
• Physical contact (clothed or unclothed)
• Sex
• Sex during heat
• Other services during heat

Steve quirks his eyebrow, wondering what the hell the last one means, and gives up and just ticks all the boxes, presses save, and lets the phone start calculating some matches for him. He goes to close the app and it tells him it will send him the results of his initial matches within the hour. Great. Steve can’t wait to see how awful they all are. He stuffs his phone back in his pocket and glares out at the skyline as they drive over the Brooklyn bridge.

He goes straight to bed when he gets home and he’s almost asleep when the screen lights up.

Hi, I’m Elsie, the Scentsations Chatbot. You have 157 new matches. If you connect your medical practice, we can contact them for a blood sample and narrow down your matches for potential compatibility. If you would like us to contact your doctor for this service, please reply YES.

Steve stares at it. Fuck. Was that... legal? Steve didn’t even know that was a thing. Maybe... maybe that would be better though? Save him rifling through all the results, talking to people. Fuck it.

YES

Please enter your full name, date of birth, and medical practice. This information will not be shown on your profile.

Steve types it in.

Thank you, SGR577, we will contact your medical practice and have the results back to you within 24 hours. Is there anything else I can help you with today?

Steve closes the chat and puts his phone down. Maybe the blood test thing made it better? Surely that was more... scientific than Steve’s previous endeavors? Of being paired with people based on some shitty algorithm trying to match Steve with Alphas based on their profiles which were most likely 50% fiction. God, it had to be worth a try.

Friday

He puts the whole thing out his mind until around 10am the next day. He’s painting when he gets a call from the doctors.

“Hello?” Steve answers, wondering if somethings wrong, completely forgetting about the app.

“Hello, Steve. It’s Dr. Zemo. I’m very happy to see that you took my advice and downloaded that app.”

“Oh, uh, yeah.” Steve puts down his paintbrush and steps away from the canvas. “I thought I’d at least try it.”

“Well, I just wanted to check that I had your permission to give them the results from you latest blood work.”

“Oh, yeah, that’s fine.”

“Great, thanks, best of luck. And remember, if you don’t find someone, I really do recommended you getting admitted for your next heat. Let me know.”

Best of luck. Steve rolled his eyes. The Alphas he’d had near him lately, he was gonna need a lot more than luck.

“Yeah, I will, thanks.”

*

His phone chirps that evening to tell him he has three matches for potential compatibility. He raises his eyebrows. Well. That’s certainly specific. And the idea of not having to trawl through a long list of Alphas is appealing. He won’t have to keep wondering if he’s being too fussy.

He scrolls down the list. He knows he’s being superficial, but he disregards one of them purely on his looks. He has to be attracted to them, right? That’s what this whole thing is about. Except that means that he now only has two Alphas to try, and if that fails, well... What the fuck then?

He stares at his two remaining suitors. One brunet, one blond. He clicks on the brunet and he frowns. Wait. Is that…?

Barnes65x ‘call me Bucky’. His hair is longer. A lot longer. He’s got a short, neat beard, but those grey eyes, that smile, that’s the same. It’s just a headshot, but he looks... so different. So much older, but not in a bad way. Steve immediately tries to take a screenshot to send to Nat. The app helpfully tells him that that function is disabled.

He texts her instead.

Steve: You will not believe who this app matched me with, blood sample and everything. James fucking Barnes.

Nat: What?!

Steve: I know!

Nat: he was always crushing on you

Steve: don’t be ridiculous

Nat: are you gonna message him?

Steve frowns and goes back to Bucky’s page. It says he’s a vet, which is weird being that he was the same class as Steve and Nat. It doesn’t say anything about another job. The details are sparse. It’s that and a line that he’s always respectful of boundaries, blah-blah. Well, Steve can definitely believe that. Even if he annoyed him sometimes, Bucky was always a decent Alpha.

He stares at Bucky’s page a while longer, trying to work out if he could even consider doing this. Trying to work out if someone he knew or a complete stranger was better or worse.

Steve: Nat I can’t. I can’t admit to someone I used to know that my dating life is such a disaster that I need to pay someone.

Nat: loads of people use these apps, Steve. It’s nothing to be ashamed of. Besides, he might feel a bit embarrassed working for a place like that too. Just say hi.

Just say hi. Okay. Okay.

SGR577: Hey Bucky, um, weird coincidence I guess, I just matched with you, don’t know if you remember me, it’s Steve, from high school?

He sends the message and instantly regrets it. Shit. Now he has to wait and stare at his phone until Bucky replies. Except he doesn’t, because Bucky replies almost immediately.

Barnes65x: Stevie Rogers! Wow. Long time, we matched, huh? How the hell are you?

SGR577: Yeah, I’m okay, how are you?

Wow, Steve thinks, that was an inspirational response.

Barnes65x: Yeah, alright, been back in town about a year now.

Steve wonders how to respond to that. What made you leave the army? What made you join this app? Is this your only job? What’s it like fucking people for a living? God. Maybe the Alphas he was dating weren’t the problem. Maybe it was him.

Barnes65x: So did you wanna hook up or?

Steve splutters, stares at the phone. Bucky’s being forward, but this is what this app’s for and he remembers that he did tick all those boxes. Steve only messaged him because he wanted to check if it was him, and say hi if it was, but obviously on the app – Steve’s head spins. Bucky replies again and Steve realizes he’s just been staring at his phone, failing to reply, for about 5 minutes.

Barnes65x: sorry, too fast? I’m still not great at this whole thing.

SGR577: Don’t apologize, that’s what this apps for, right? I’m awful at this over messaging. I’m awful at it in real life tbh. Did you want to get a coffee? Is that like, allowed?

Barnes65x: Lol yes it’s allowed, and it’s whatever you need it for, you just ticked all the boxes so I just assumed…

SGR577: that’s my fault I didn’t know what to pick and I panicked and ticked all the boxes

Barnes65x: You know you’re just as cute as when we were at school

SGR577: Are you flirting with me?!

Steve’s stomach swoops and, fuck. That’s a weird feeling.

Barnes65x: Yeah, I am 😊 you wanna set a date, go get that coffee? We can catch up, see if we’re any better at this in real life?

Steve rolls his eyes, but he realizes that even if he doesn’t want Bucky to fuck him, he’d like to catch up.

SGR577: Sure, you free tomorrow?

Barnes65x: I am. You got a favorite place?

SGR577: I do, Latte Lanes, 10?

Barnes65x: Sure, I’ll see you then 😊

Steve gulps. Fuck. He calls Nat.

“I’m letting him take me for coffee tomorrow,” Steve says.

“Steve! That’s great!”

“I don’t even know if I want that, but I thought it’d be good to catch up.”

“Yeah, get the gossip, didn’t he join the army? He back on leave?”

“No, it said he’s a vet.”

“Oh. Huh.”

“I was gonna ask, but it seemed rude or... Like, what the fuck do I say? Ask if he nearly got blown up or got PTSD or something?”

“You say you’re sorry that happened to him.”

“Yeah, great for a first conversation.”

“I wonder if this is all he does? I heard that they make loads of money, you know, especially on the apps that are approved by the insurance companies.”

“Yeah, that must be... Weird.”

“Well, you can ask him! When are you going out?”

“Tomorrow. Fuck. What am I gonna fucking wear?”

“Well, he always looked ready to eat you up, whatever you were wearing.”

“No, he didn’t, don’t be ridiculous, he just felt sorry for me. Urgh. What if that’s just what this is?”

“I mean, it’s not anything. You matched through an app, he’s a professional. He either approves you or he doesn’t as a match, right?”

Steve sighs.

“Yeah, I guess.”

“So, stop overthinking shit.”

“Yeah, that’ll be easy. I got 6 days.”

“He was always a nice guy, Steve. Even if he did have all the Omegas in the class crawling all over him. He was never like those assholes he was always hanging out with.”

“Yeah, I know.”

“A guy you can trust, who’s easy on the eyes, that’s charming?”

Steve winces.

“He was always a little bit... cheesy? Flirty?”

“He wasn’t cheesy! He was charming, sweet.”

“Hmm.” Steve remembers having some of Bucky’s lines turned on him a few times. “You never went out with him, though.”

“Nah, he was never interested in me, he was always looking slightly to my right. Down a couple of inches. Dunno why,” Nat says, clearly amused.

“Don’t be stupid, no one liked me like that back then.”

“If you say so.”

“He’s got longer hair now. And, like, a bit of a beard?”

“Do you like it?”

“I think so, like, he was always pretty hot, but I think he’s even hotter now. Oh, god. What’s he gonna think of me, needing an app to hook up with someone?”

“Steve, come on, we’ve had this discussion. It’s fine, and besides, how do you know he’s not feeling equally embarrassed for working for a place like that?”

“He didn’t seem to be. I mean, it’s still work, right?”

“I didn’t say he should, just said he might. Stop worrying, Steve. Just go and catch up and enjoy yourself, see what happens.”

“Yeah... okay. I will.”

“I can’t wait for the gossip. You’d better call me the second you’re done.”

“I will!”

“Promise?”

“Yes, Nat,” Steve rolls his eyes. “I’ll speak to you later.”

“You’d better! Bye!”

Saturday

Steve takes a deep breath and forces himself through the door of the coffee shop. It is his favorite, just around the corner from the studio that displays most of his work.

He sees Bucky in the corner, sitting on one of a pair of two armchairs with a table in between them. He’s wearing a blue check jacket and jeans. Steve notices he’s wearing black leather gloves which is, a little weird, but pretty sexy. He looks bigger than the last time Steve saw him, like he’s bulked up with muscle and, frankly, that’s just not fair. Bucky was always attractive, but now… Jesus. His hair is long, like in his profile pic, and he’s looking down into a book.

Steve resists the urge to turn and run out the door. He’s not sure he can hold a conversation with a version of Bucky Barnes that somehow got even hotter. He forces himself to go to the counter and order his usual, then takes it over to where Bucky’s sitting.

“Oh, hey!” Bucky looks up from his book. Goddamn. Gray eyes pierce Steve’s and it takes all Steve’s concentration not to spill his coffee all over himself.

“Hey,” Steve says, smiling at Bucky, trying not to be shy. His agent is always telling him to be more confident, to stop taking such an interest in his shoes or the floor.

Bucky flicks his eyes over him and Steve feels a very unfamiliar feeling in pit of his stomach. Warm, weird, and, god, where was this feeling with the last however many Alphas he tried to be attracted to the last however many years?

Steve sits down, applauding himself for managing to do something so normal.

“It’s good to see you,” Bucky says, and Steve is fucking sure his voice has gotten lower, rougher, but there’s something else different about him, too. Aside from looking like sex on legs, he feels like Bucky looks a lot older somehow, and, yeah, maybe Steve does too, it’s been 5 years since they left high school, but it’s something else. He guesses it’s the army. That’ll mature you real fast, the things he must have seen over there.

“And you,” Steve says, “how have you been?”

“Yeah,” Bucky nods, “okay, think I’ve just about settled back into city life now. How about you?”

“Doing pretty good, yeah,” Steve says.

“You went to art college, right?”

“Yeah, I did.”

“So, is that what you do now?”

“Uh, actually, yeah,” Steve says, looking down into his coffee and blushing a bit.

“You sound surprised.”

“Well, I dunno, it’s kind of hard to make a living off of it, but…”

“You’re killing it?”

Steve laughs and looks back up with a bashful smile.

“Yeah, I guess so.” 

“Good for you, man, your stuff was always good,” Bucky says, nodding.

Steve raises an eyebrow.

“I didn’t notice you looking at my art.”

“Yeah, well,” Bucky smirks at him and Steve tries not to die on the spot. “You didn’t notice a lot of stuff back then.”

Steve rolls his eyes.

“Please, you gonna try and tell me now you were crushing on me the whole time?”

“Well, I tried to tell you then, but you wouldn’t listen.”

“Bullshit.” Steve rolls his eyes. “Just cos I didn’t wanna be your pity fuck.”

Bucky laughs loud at that, loud enough that a couple of people turn around and look.

“Sorry… that’s just... that’s the stupidest thing I ever heard. You haven’t gotten any less stubborn, then, Stevie?”

God, the way he says it, that low voice wrapping around his old name and, fuck. Steve thinks he might have actually found an Alpha he’d let fuck him. It’s probably weird that his first thought is that his doctor is going to be so pleased with him.

“So, you joined the army?” Steve asks desperately and Bucky laughs again at Steve’s swift change of subject.

“Sure did. And all I got for my trouble was a metal arm.”

Steve’s mouth drops open.

“What? Fuck.”

Bucky shrugs.

“It’s alright. Gets a bit cold. Wasn’t my right, could have been worse.”

Steve opens and closes his mouth a few times as he tries and fails to find the right words to say. Tries not to stare at Bucky’s left hand covered in the glove.

“Don’t worry about it. Army sure didn’t.” He takes a swig of his coffee.

“Is that why… you left?” Steve asks, trying not to stick his foot in his mouth.

“Uhuh. They thought it’d be good for a while, thought I might be a nice strong super soldier or something. Don’t think they counted on the PTSD that comes with having a traumatic amputation. So. Here we are.” Bucky shrugs again and clicks his tongue. “But now I get to fuck Omegas for a living, and, honestly, if someone had told me that was a career option, I don’t think I’d have ever signed up for the army.”

He laughs at the look on Steve’s face and Steve genuinely can’t work out if Bucky’s fucking with him or not.

“I… Jesus, I’m sorry.”

“Don’t need to be. I’m a pretty functional human again, now. Just gets a bit cold, that’s all. Puts some people off, I guess, but I do well enough. Don’t worry about it if it means you don’t wanna go ahead.”

“No, I do, I don’t care about that…” Steve blushes bright red. “God, I’m sorry. I’m bad at this.”

“So you keep saying,” Bucky smiles at him.

Steve closes his eyes.

“Sorry.” He notices Bucky’s cup’s empty. “You want another drink?”

“Yeah, least you can do, after leaving me on the dance floor all those years ago,” Bucky says with a shit eating grin.

Steve rolls his eyes.

“Oh, my god, Barnes, I did not… what do you want?”

“Tea, actually, ginger and lemon.”

Steve blinks but nods and goes to order it. It’s on the tea menu. Steve didn’t even know they had a tea menu. He brings the pot back to Bucky.

“It’s nice, it’s comforting. I avoid caffeine. Bad sleep. So, you wanna tell me why a hot, high-flying artist like you is using an app to hook up?”

Steve cringes, but it’s far enough away that no one can hear them.

“Yeah, actually, it’d probably be best if I got that out of the way first. See if you can… work with what I need.”

Bucky tilts his head at him curiously.

“I cater for all needs, Stevie,” he says, flicking his tongue over his bottom lip in that way that’s so familiar. Steve could never work out if it was a nervous twitch or deliberate.

“Stop it! Let me keep my head straight, for god sake.”

Bucky smirks at him but gestures for him to continue as he blows on his tea.

“Okay. I’m getting sick, in my heats. Like, real sick. They wanted me to go to the hospital. They said I just need an Alpha.” He sighs, thinking he might as well keep it simple. “I tried to find one the old-fashioned way but nothing’s worked out. I was… reluctant, but my doctor said even skin-to-skin contact could work, scenting might help, I might not have to do the whole thing, that even being with an Alpha, through my heat, could help.”

Bucky nods.

“Okay, sure. But I guess that means you still haven’t worked out exactly what you want.”

“Well, no. I wanted to see who I met, see how they… were before I made that choice,” Steve says, clearing his throat.

“Yeah,” Bucky nods, “that’s sensible. So, what do you think?” There’s a barely hidden smirk and Steve knows Bucky can tell how attracted he is to him. Always could.

Steve swears under his breath. Bucky always was far too forward for him.

“I’m still not sure… I… it’s more complicated than that, though, I…” Steve sighs and puts his hand over his face before he admits this to Bucky. “It’d be the first time I’d be… going with an Alpha.”

Bucky’s mouth drops open and Steve brings his other hand up to his face with the first one.

“God, Stevie,” Bucky says and shakes his head. “You really should have let me fuck you back then, huh?”

“You’re an asshole,” Steve groans.

“So, how long do I have before your next heat to convince you?”

“6 days.”

*

Six years ago

Steve walks over to Natasha, bringing back their sodas from the drinks table. She has yet another Alpha by her side, no surprise in the stunning, elegant purple dress that she’s wearing. Her mother told her she couldn’t wear purple with red hair. The only dresses she would try on from that moment were purple.

This time, it’s Bucky Barnes, who’s looking ridiculously handsome in a tux, leaning on the wall above Nat’s head, and giving her that winning smile. As usual, it doesn’t seem to be working.

“Oh, hey, Stevie,” Bucky says, turning that smile on Steve. Not many Alphas get desperate enough to resort to Steve when Nat’s not biting, but maybe Bucky has done a circuit of the room already. It’s unlikely, all of the Omegas in their year were always pining over Bucky Barnes. He danced with them all, went out with them all, but never seemed to go steady with any of them, much to their disappointment.

“Hey, Buck.”

Bucky drags his eyes up and down Steve.

“You look great.”

“Thanks,” Nat interrupts, “I dressed him.”

“Nice job,” Bucky laughs.

“Tell him what you came over here for,” Nat says to Bucky.

“I imagine he wanted to dance with you,” Steve says.

“Wrong Omega,” Bucky says, “I wondered if you’d do me the honor?” Bucky holds his hand out to Steve.

Steve rolls his eyes.

“Get lost, I don’t want your pity dance.”

“It’s not pity! Please, just one?”

Steve’s about to object when Nat shoves him into Bucky’s arms and Bucky’s leading him onto the dance floor.

“Honestly, what’s a guy gotta do to get you interested?” Bucky asks.

“Be genuinely interested, maybe?” Steve bats back. Any other Alpha, Steve would tell to fuck off, but Bucky is usually nice to him, sweet, even if he is super cheesy sometimes. If he’s so insistent he guesses he can give him one dance to get him to leave him alone.

But then the music is slowing, and, fuck, that’s not good. Well, it is, because Steve can’t dance, and slow dancing is mostly rotating in a circle and trying to cop a feel, from what Steve has gathered, but still, shit.

Bucky pulls Steve in close and Steve’s body reacts in a way Steve didn’t know it was capable of. He feels butterflies in his stomach, Bucky’s body against his, his chest, his hands on his back, he feels warm all over and his head is swimming. He has no idea what to do with his hands but they’re suddenly on Bucky’s back of their own accord and they’re slowly moving in a circle around the dance floor.

“See, it’s not all that bad, huh?” Bucky leans in and whispers in Steve’s ear.

Steve shudders, can’t help it, he doesn’t know what the hell’s going on, but Bucky’s breath feels nice, his deep voice in Steve’s ear.

Everything else seems to melt away til there’s just them, just Bucky and the weird but nice way Bucky’s making his body feel. Warm, nice, and Steve’s barely resisting the urge to push himself up against him.

The song ends too soon, reality dawns on Steve way too fast, like an ice bath, but not before Bucky’s lips touch his own.

Steve gasps and he freezes. It’s nice but, god, he can’t do this. It’s pathetic. He steps back and glares at Bucky.

“I don’t need your fucking pity, Barnes,” he snaps and storms off the dance floor.

“Stevie! Stevie, wait!”

“Leave me alone!” Steve yells back as Bucky somehow doesn’t get the message and follows him out of the room and down the corridor.

“Stevie, please, will you just listen to me?”

Steve stops and turns so abruptly that Bucky nearly runs straight into him.

He skids to a halt.

“Stevie, what’s wrong?”

Steve rolls his eyes.

“Do you really think I’m pathetic enough that I’ll let you dance with me and kiss me just cos you feel sorry for me?”

Bucky looks confused. Like he’s god’s gift to Omegas and how could anyone turn down his generosity?

“I don’t feel sorry for you, Stevie, I wanted to dance with you, I wanted to kiss you.”

Steve shakes his head.

“How stupid do you think I am, Bucky?”

“I guess pretty stupid if you don’t realize that I just wanted to ask you out this whole time. And you gotta invent all these crazy reasons I wanna dance with you that aren’t… just that I wanna dance with you.”

“Great, crazy and stupid, probably better move on to the next Omega then, Buck.”

“What the hell is wrong with you?”

“What the hell is wrong with you?! Just leave me alone.”

“Jesus Christ. Fine!” Bucky turns and leaves and Steve shakes his head.

Idiot. Like Steve was really gonna be his charity case Omega.

*

It’s only now, as a grown adult, that Steve sees how Bucky is looking at him across the coffee table, like he’d quite like to vault over it and fuck Steve’s brains out, and suddenly he starts to think he might have gotten it all backwards.

“Six days? Shit, okay, so, where did you want to start, scenting, or physical contact?” Bucky asks and Steve feels his heart rate increase.

“Um. I dunno. Maybe physical contact, I guess?” God, Steve can’t talk about this in a coffee shop.

“Did you want to wait until your heat, or try before?”

“I… probably try before, I guess, I dunno.”

“Well, we need to get it figured out, exactly what you do and don’t want in your heat, Stevie, cos you know once you’re in it, and if you do decide you want me there…”

“I know, I know, I’ll ask for everything and you won’t know what I really want,” Steve sighs.

“Stevie, look at me.”

Steve looks up at him from the table that he’s gotten very interested in.

“Nothing you don’t want, I promise, and I can help you figure it out. Yeah? Why don’t we meet up, not here, and we can see how it goes? Like, at your place, maybe? That might be better?”

“I dunno… I…” Steve doesn’t know how to tell Bucky that he wants to be able to leave.

“Or mine? Either is completely fine.”

“Yours, please.”

“Okay, when do you want to do it? You want some time to think about this?”

“Yeah, uh, what about tomorrow? I know it’s soon but…”

“Let me just check my work schedule,” Bucky says, checking his phone. “Yeah, I’m actually free tomorrow and all next week so far.”

So far. The idea that Bucky might have appointments with other Omegas is weird, but Steve puts that out his brain for now. This is just a service, he reminds himself.

“Cool, uh, what time?”

“You wanna do 10 again?”

“Yeah, sure.” Steve is so nervous already, he feels like he’s going to puke.

“Hey,” Bucky leans across the table and puts his hand on Steve’s leg. Steve tries not to leap away from him. “It’s just me, okay, it’s gonna be fine. You know I won’t push you.”

“Yeah, yeah,” Steve sighs. “I know. Well, I’ll see you tomorrow, then.”

Bucky nods.

“Yeah, I’ll see you tomorrow.”

Jesus Christ why does that sound like some kind of sexy threat/promise when Bucky says it?

Steve gets up, feeling a maximum amount of awkward, but Bucky gets up, too, and Steve realizes he’s going for a hug about a second before Bucky puts his arms around him. God, he smells good, he feels good, hard against him, and his jacket is really soft and – Bucky pulls back and smiles at him.

Steve tries not to fall over, instead opting to turn and give Bucky what’s hopefully a smile before he bolts out of the coffee shop.

*

“Nat. He’s really fucking hot.”

“Oh, yeah?” he can hear her grinning through the phone.

He leans back against his front door and sighs.

“Yeah. Jesus.”

“Well, that’s great, then, he sounds perfect.”

Steve groans.

“I dunno.”

“What? What’s wrong with him?”

“Nothing! I just... it feels weird, like we went to school together, and now he knows I’m so socially defunct, I can’t even find an Alpha by myself, and how’s it going to feel knowing he’s just doing it for a job and –”

“Steve, stop. Breathe. You’re thinking about this too much. You need an Alpha for your heat, Bucky is an Alpha, he’s hot, and he’s willing. Do you trust him?”

“Yeah.”

“Well, then. Do you think he wants to fuck you?”

“Uh, yeah,” Steve says, blushing, in his own god damn house. He’s ridiculous.

“Well, then. The test thing said you were compatible, he’s hot, you want to fuck him, he wants to fuck you, you trust him, he’s nice, what more do you want, Steve?”

Steve groans.

“I don’t know.”

“Are you seeing him again?”

“Yeah, tomorrow, I’m going over to his place.”

“Good! I really hope it goes well.”

“Thanks… he makes me feel weird.”

Nat laughs.

“Yeah? Did you get wet?”

“Nat!”

Nat cackles through the phone at him.

“I gotta go, Steve, text me!”

“I will.” 

*

Steve can’t settle. He’s not sure what it is. He tries painting, but it’s like there’s an itch under his skin. He can’t concentrate. He tries reading, watching the tv, that’s even worse. He puts it down to anxiety about tomorrow, about the whole situation, when he realizes that it might not be anxiety at all. It might actually be his body asking him why the fuck he didn’t bring that Alpha home with him after the date and get him to fuck him right then.

God. Is he… horny? He blinks as he realizes that’s exactly what it fucking is. Huh. That’s new, outside his heat anyway. He keeps thinking about Bucky’s eyes, his smile, his smirk, how good he felt against his body when he hugged him. Oh, shit. Is this good? He guesses it is, except that some voice in Steve’s head is whispering that it’s not real, that Bucky’s only pretending to be interested because it’s his job. He can silence it pretty quickly when he thinks of that look Bucky was giving him across the table, like he’d have quite happily dragged Steve into his lap and fucked him right there. That was real.

Steve gulps. He looks around his living room. He can’t masturbate in here, he has guests in here. God. Why is this all so alien to him? He’s sure most people perfected this in their teens.

He goes into his bedroom and closes the door, despite being the only person in the apartment. He takes off his pants, closes his eyes, and thinks of Bucky smirking at him again. Thinks of him flicking his tongue out over his bottom lip. Fucking hell. He’s hard almost immediately, and he’s definitely getting slick. He opens his eyes again, opens up the app, and opens Bucky’s profile. Shamelessly, he looks at his profile picture and wraps a hand around his dick. He then realizes there are more pictures on Bucky’s profile than he noticed before that he can click through.

There’s one of him topless and Steve thinks his mouth might actually be watering. The metal arm doesn’t bother him at all. It’s more intricate than prosthetics he’s seen before. Bucky’s ripped, dark hair on his chest and his abs, and Steve has to look away from his phone and take his hand off his dick before he comes in seconds. Jesus.

He takes a breath and looks back at him. Is this how other Omegas felt looking at Alphas all the time? He lets a slow breath out and looks back, carries on stroking his dick, and starts thinking about getting out one of the toys from under his bed.  The kind he usually only uses during his heat.

He jumps as he sees a message from Bucky on the app.

Barnes65x: Are you having an existential crisis about seeing me tomorrow or are you jerking off?

Steve goes cold all over. Fuck. Oh, god.

SGR577: What?!

Barnes65x: the app tells me when you’re looking at my profile

Steve stares at his phone in horror. Oh, fuck.

Barnes65x: I’m guessing option two. Have fun, which pic are you looking at?

Steve can’t do this, can he? He might be horny enough to try.

SGR577: the one of you with your top off

Barnes65x: :D you pervert. Should have known. Only want me for my body huh?

SGR577: Jesus Christ

Steve shivers, moves his hand faster. The fact that Bucky knows he’s doing this should be mortifying, but right now it’s just making him harder, making him think of touching himself.

Barnes65x: You want me to call you?

Steve has no fucking idea what he wants, but the thought of Bucky’s deep voice right now sounds pretty good.

SGR577: yeah

Steve nearly drops the phone when it rings immediately.

“Hey, honey.”

“Fuck, Bucky, you’re driving me nuts.”

Bucky laughs low and Steve swears.

“Yeah, am I helping? You need some encouragement?”

Steve tries to talk and completely fails. Bucky chuckles again and Steve groans.

“Bucky. The fuck are you doing to me?”

“I’m not doing anything, Stevie, just talking to ya. You’re meant to tell me what you’re doing, honey.”

Steve still manages to roll his eyes at the endearment.

“I’m jerking off, staring at a picture of you topless, and trying not to come in like five seconds.”

“Oh, Stevie, meeting me earlier got you all wound up?”

“Yes!”

“Oh, sweetheart, maybe I should have just taken you back to my place?”

“Fuck,” Steve swears, his head dropping back against his pillow.

“What are you imagining me doing to you?”

“I don’t think my imagination’s as good as yours,” Steve says.

“Well, why don’t I give you some ideas?”

“God, Bucky.”

“I was thinking earlier I’d really like to get my mouth on you, I’d like to kiss you properly, get my tongue in your mouth, kiss over your neck, your glands, really scent you there, til you’re all I can breathe in, your scent and nothing else.”

Steve swears, has to take his hand off his dick again.

“Touch your glands, Stevie.”

“What?!”

“Put your hand on them, push down a little bit, see what feels nice. Imagine it’s my mouth on you.”

“Jesus Christ, Bucky, I…” Steve does as he’s told, though, puts the phone on speaker and chucks it on the pillow, then runs his hand over his glands, pushes and moans, slowly stroking his dick with his other hand.

“Yeah, that good?”

“Yes, fuck, Bucky, I’m really fucking close I…”

“Yeah? Cos after that I’d like to move my mouth down, suck on your dick, you think I could fit it all in my mouth, Stevie?”

“Fuck! Bucky!” Steve is gasping for air, so fucking turned on it’s not fair. He’s sure this shouldn’t be possible from Bucky just talking to him.

“You think I could? I was thinking then I’d put you on your front, lick you out, real deep. I’d love to find out how your slick tastes… you wet for me, Stevie?”

“Yes! God, Bucky, fuck, I’m gonna come any fucking second.”

“Yeah, honey, you come nice and hard, show me how much you want it.”

Steve yelps as pleasure surges through him, coming harder than he has in a long time, all over his hands, all over the sheets, and he didn’t even touch his ass or use the toy.

“Fuck.” He shivers through the aftershocks.

“God, Stevie, that was hot.”

“Oh, my god,” Steve groans, reality coming back to him.

Bucky chuckles.

“If you DM me your number, I can send you more pics.”

“Oh, my god, Bucky.” Steve pants.

“I won’t be able to tell if you’re looking at them then, though, I’d just have to rely on you telling me.”

“I… I gotta go clean up.”

“Okay, Stevie, I’ll see you tomorrow.”

Should he say thank you? Is that the kind of thing you should thank someone for? Steve has no goddamn idea.

“Bucky.”

“Yeah?”

“I haven’t come that hard in ages.”

“Aw, you’re welcome, honey, see you tomorrow.”

“See you tomorrow,” Steve says weakly and hangs up.

Steve looks around at the mess that is his sheets and shakes his head. What the fuck was happening to him?

*

Chapter Text

Sunday

Bucky sent him an address for some very generic apartment block about a fifteen-minute walk away from his own. He spends the whole 15 minutes trying to stop himself from turning right back around and running for home.

When he gets to Bucky’s apartment, his hands are shaking. He has no idea what’s wrong with him, but now he nearly turns around because he’s freaking out.

He forces himself to knock on the door.

Bucky opens it with his trademark flirtatious smile. He’s wearing a blue henley and tight black jeans and looks gorgeous, and here’s Steve just looking like a mess.

“Hey,” Bucky says, then immediately changes his expression when he sees Steve’s. “Stevie, shit, are you okay? Come in.”

He pulls him inside and shuts the door.

“God, I’m sorry, I don’t know what the hell got into me, I’ve just got myself all worked up…”

God. Steve’s an absolute embarrassment.

“Hey, it’s fine, you wanna?” He opens his arms to Steve and Steve dives forward into them without thinking, letting Bucky wrap his arms around him and hold him tight.

He huffs out a breath, Bucky’s larger body against his somehow so comforting, when that was what he was afraid of in the first place. He sags against him in relief and Bucky kisses him on the top of the head.

“Well,” he chuckles in Steve’s ear, “at least we got the physical contact bit out the way.”

Steve laughs.

“Yeah, I guess we did.”

Bucky strokes the back of Steve’s head, so reassuring, and Steve realizes then and there that he trusts him. He’s not sure exactly why, Bucky could have changed, even after high school, when Steve didn’t know him all that well, but for some reason, he does, and that settles him.

“Buck?”

“Yeah?”

“I think I do want you to be with me for my heat. Even if I’m not sure what for, yet.”

“Sure, Stevie, I’ll block it in my diary.”

That makes Steve prickle a little, the idea that Bucky could be booking in with other people too, but Bucky’s arms around him dissolves the feeling almost immediately.

“How long do your heats usually last?”

“Three days, sometimes four.”

Bucky nods.

“Okay, I’ll book four just in case.”

“Thanks.”

“You feeling okay?” Bucky asks.

“Yeah, better, thanks. Sorry, I just…”

Bucky lets go of him and steps back.

“Nervous?” Bucky asks.

Steve looks down.

“Yeah, I guess.” He shrugs.

Bucky smiles and puts his hand on Steve’s shoulder.

“You don’t have to be nervous about any of this, I promise. You’re in control here, Steve, it’s whatever you wanna do.”

“What about what you wanna do?”

Bucky laughs.

“You know what I’d like to do to you, Stevie, but this isn’t about me. It’s about you, you’re the one that’s never done this before, so we’re going at your pace, yeah?”

It's not quite the sexy whirlwind Bucky was when they were talking on the phone yesterday, but it does calm Steve down a little.

“Yeah, okay.”

Bucky’s not wearing gloves today and Steve takes his metal hand, running his thumb over Bucky’s fingers curiously.

“Can you feel that?”

“Sort of, it’s a weird sensation.” Bucky says. “You wanna see the whole thing?”

He’s taking his top off before Steve can answer and Steve gulps at the in-real-life version of the picture he was staring at yesterday. He tries desperately to focus on the arm and not on Bucky’s ridiculously sculpted chest, and definitely not that trail of dark hair going down and down, and, Jesus, was this what other Omegas felt for Alphas all the time? How did they get anything done?

When he looks up at Bucky, he’s smirking at him, eyebrows raised, and Steve cringes, sure that he’s been caught staring at his abs and not looking at his arm. Steve pulls his eyes away to his arm and runs his hands down the metal plates. It is beautiful, the way the multiple plates interlock with each other. Bucky moves his arm and Steve watches fascinated as the plates move and the arm whirs.

“That’s really cool,” he says, staring at it, “I mean, not that you lost your arm, I just –”

Bucky laughs.

“I know what you meant, Stevie, it’s okay. I think it’s pretty cool, too. Do you want a drink?”

“Uh, I think I’m good.”

“Cool, you wanna go get comfy on the sofa?”

Steve gulps, alarm bells ringing in his head again, but he nods.

“Sure.”

He follows Bucky into the living room. It’s nice, though more neutral than he expected.

“You often bring people back here? From the app thing?” Steve asks, and, god, why the fuck did he ask that? It just popped into his head. Fuck.

“Not really,” Bucky says, thankfully unbothered by the question, “I think most Omegas prefer being in their own place, especially during heat, you know, nesting and all that.”

“Makes sense,” Steve nods.

“Why did you want to come here instead?”

Steve frowns at the direct question. He supposes his previous question was just as direct.

“I… wanted to be able to leave.”

“Escape plan, fair enough. But, for future reference, if we ever do this at your place, you can kick me out whenever you like, I won’t be offended.”

Steve smiles.

“Thanks.”

Bucky sits down on the sofa, still topless, and Steve sits down beside him.

“So, you wanna do touch, or scenting?”

“God, I dunno,” Steve cringes, “this feels so awkward.”

“Well, we can either do it just one thing at a time, like this, or we could make out, if you wanted, see if that feels easier for you?”

Steve’s starting to think it might be easier if he asks Bucky to just do whatever he wants to him, throw him down on the sofa and ravish him, and see if he freaks out, but that’s probably not a good idea.

“I need to tell you something else.”

Bucky raises his eyebrows.

“You never kissed anyone properly either?”

“No, I… I have, but it was… awful.” Steve cringes.

Bucky shrugs.

“Well, we can try. You know, Steve, I wanted to ask you a question, when you said you’d had trouble finding an Alpha, when the app did that compatibility test, how many people did you match with?”

“Three.”

“Wow.”

“What?” Steve frowns. “Is that bad?”

“No, no, it’s just, I think on average from the bank of Alphas they’ve got, like 200 or something, the company says that most Omegas will match with about 20 to 30 people.”

“Oh.” Steve frowns. “What does that mean?”

“I mean, I dunno, I’m only guessing, but I guess you’re just a bit more selective with who you like. Who turns you on.” Bucky shrugs and Steve cringes again. “Maybe that’s why you haven’t found someone yet.  If you’re only gonna match with 3 out of 200 people, and I’m guessing you don’t meet 200 Alphas every day, do you see what I mean?”

“Yeah, I guess. Weird.”

“Biology is weird. Hey, why don’t you just come sit on my lap for a bit, see how that feels?”

“Okay, um,” Steve goes to move, but Bucky leans over and grabs him, pulling him to straddle his lap.

Steve barely holds back a yelp. He tries to adjust to the feeling of Bucky being in between his legs, so solid, and Bucky’s eyes sparkle at him as he grins.

“How’s that?”

“Ye…eah,” Steve manages to say.

“Why don’t I take your top off, see how that feels?” Bucky asks and it makes Steve feel so fucking awkward, the way they’re talking about this.

“I… yeah.”

Bucky pulls Steve’s tee up and over his head and the hunger in Bucky’s eyes as he looks over Steve’s chest is enough to make up his mind.

“Let’s not do it like this,” Steve says.

“Oh, what’s wrong?”

“No, nothing, I mean, it feels, it just feels weird, Buck. Stop asking me, just fucking kiss me, and we’ll see what happens. Just pretend we’re on a date or something.”

“You sure?”

“Yeah.”

“If I do anything you don’t want, tell me, smack me, whatever.”

“Yes, Alpha,” Steve drawls at him, joking, but he doesn’t miss how the hunger in Bucky’s eyes ramps up a few notches.

Bucky slides one hand up Steve’s back, pulls him down closer so they’re chest to chest, and Steve is barely getting used to how good Bucky’s hot skin feels against his own, his hard, muscular body against his, trying to work out what to do with his own hands, when Bucky leans up and kisses him. Steve stares into Bucky’s gray eyes, then closes his eyes, kisses him, again and again, until Bucky holds the back of his head tighter, parts his lips, and Steve groans, letting Bucky slide his tongue into his mouth. God, yes, this is more what he had expected kissing to feel like. The sensation of Bucky’s short beard is a little strange, but he quickly decides he likes it.

“Oh,” he breathes out against Bucky’s lips. He rocks his hips against Bucky’s and Bucky gasps into Steve’s mouth, his other hand on Steve’s hip, encouraging his movements, pulling him down harder.

It feels so good against Steve’s dick, it’s ridiculous, just grinding down against Bucky, kissing him hard, then daring to move his hands to explore Bucky’s muscles, tracing his fingers through the soft hair on his abs.

“Fuck,” Steve gasps.

“Mmm,” Bucky agrees, moving Steve a little faster, and Steve can feel Bucky’s hard dick now under his legs. Fucking hell.

He wants to scent Bucky. So bad. He pulls back.

“You okay, Stevie?”

“Yeah, can I, uh, can I scent you?”

Bucky grins.

“Absolutely, honey, go ahead.”

Steve gives into it, gives in to all the weird urges flooding his body, and shoves his face into Bucky’s neck, his mouth against the already raised bumps of Bucky’s gland, and inhales deep.

He doesn’t have the presence of mind to be embarrassed about the choked off noise he makes as he inhales Bucky’s raw scent, as he licks out and tastes him, never mind the way that Bucky moans and grabs the back of Steve’s hair tight, the way his hips flick up against Steve’s desperately. Steve grinds right back down against him, licking and nipping at Bucky’s gland because this is the best fucking thing he ever felt and -

“Fuck, Stevie,” Bucky moans, “c…careful honey. Teeth.”

Steve gasps and whips his head back, his eyes wide as he stares at Bucky’s neck, thankful that he only sees Bucky’s engorged glands and not a bite mark.

“Oh, my God, I’m so sorry!” Steve’s horrified at himself, but Bucky just laughs.

“It’s fine, don’t worry about it, I’d have stopped you,” Bucky chuckles, doesn’t let Steve dwell on it, pulling him back down and kissing him again, his big hands roaming Steve’s back, his chest, and Steve’s soon feeling overwhelmed again. He likes the feel of the cold one, such a contrast to his skin that feels like it’s burning up.

“God, Bucky,” he sighs, “feels so good.”

“Good,” Bucky murmurs back against his lips.

“Is this good for you, as well?” Steve asks.

Bucky laughs, pointedly rubbing his erection up against Steve’s thigh.

“Oh, no, it’s absolutely terrible.”

Steve rolls his eyes.

“Idiot.”

Bucky grins at him.

“You wanna lie down?” Bucky asks.

“Uh, sure,” Steve says, letting Bucky pull him down sideways on the sofa on top of him. Steve naturally straddles his hips and shudders at the thought that they could fuck like this.

“Yeah, like being on top of me, honey?” Bucky says.

“Oh, my god, stop talking.”

Bucky chuckles, running his hands through Steve’s hair and pulling him back down on top of him.

“Why? Am I making you all wet?”

“Yes,” Steve hisses back at him and Bucky grins.

“Mmm.” Bucky moves his hands down over Steve’s ass pointedly and squeezes. Steve barely holds back a shriek. He kisses his way up Steve’s neck. “God, I’d love to lick it all up for you, honey.”

“Bucky,” Steve gasps, breathless.

“Yeah? You seemed to like the idea of that last night, right? My mouth all over you?”

Steve blushes bright red.

“But, first, I think I wanna lick here,” he says, swiping his tongue over Steve’s gland, “that okay, honey?”

Steve nods, trying not to tense up.

“Don’t be scared, honey, it’s only me,” he says and Steve nods, wishing he wasn’t behaving like such an amateur.

Bucky noses at his gland first, breathes in, and sighs.

“Fuck, Stevie.”

Steve squirms on top of him, then gasps as Bucky licks across his gland, his tongue broad and flat and, fuck, that feels good.

 “Mmm, you taste amazing,” he says, kissing his gland, then starting to lick and suck, and Steve whimpers, going slack on top of him. Bucky groans, gripping Steve’s ass tight, thrusting up, and Steve moans. Bucky’s dick feels so big against his leg and, god, Steve wants. He can feel himself getting slick now, the pleasure from Bucky’s mouth on his neck skittering through his whole body, his Omega brain telling him this Alpha is perfect, it wants this Alpha’s knot.

He gulps.

“Bucky, oh, my god,” he sighs.

Bucky nips him lightly on his gland and Steve gasps, his body jerking, hips pushing down against Bucky’s.

“Yes, fuck!”

“Can I jerk you off?”

“Uhuh,” Steve agrees immediately and Bucky laughs. They kick off the rest of their clothes and Steve’s brain nearly comes to a halt at how good Bucky’s naked body feels against his own. “Oh, god.”

“Yeah? Good?” Bucky murmurs in his ear as he nuzzles into Steve’s neck, running his hands all over him and Steve moans.

“God, Bucky. I’m an idiot.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah, should have let you take me under the bleachers that night and neck me into next week.”

Bucky laughs, sliding his hand underneath them and wrapping his hand around both their dicks.

“Oh, fuck,” Steve gasps, letting his head drop down onto Bucky’s shoulder at the feel of Bucky’s hand, of his dick against his.

“Yeah, well, we can make up for lost time, Stevie, it’s okay.”

Steve looks up at Bucky, at this stupidly handsome Alpha, his soft gray eyes and his easy smile and, yeah, Steve’s an absolute moron. He kisses Bucky again and Bucky kisses him back, moaning into his mouth as he strokes their dicks together.

“Fuck,” Bucky groans. He brings his metal hand up, runs it through Steve’s hair, and Steve was so worried he’d be crap at this, that he wouldn’t know what he was doing, but it feels so natural with Bucky that he relaxes completely, letting himself feel it, letting himself get carried away as Bucky gets them both closer. Bucky breaks the kiss, moving his head down to Steve’s neck, sucking and kissing again, and Steve lets out an embarrassing whimper.

“Mmm, honey, you taste so good, smell so good, swear to god,” Bucky sighs.

“Can I… lick your gland again?” Steve asks tentatively.  

“Go for it.”

“I’ll watch my teeth.”

Bucky laughs.

“Don’t worry about it, I think I’m big enough to overpower you if you tried.”

Steve knows Bucky’s teasing him, but it does reassure him. He kisses him, then over his jaw, down to his neck, and licks over the raised skin, sucks, and Bucky groans.

“Fuck, yeah, so good, Stevie.” He moves his hand faster and Steve’s breath hitches, but he tries to keep going until he eventually gives up and lets his head drop onto the couch next to Bucky’s head. “Oh, my god.”

“Yeah, feels really fucking good, Stevie, you scent incredible when you’re turned on, you know that?”

And Steve doesn’t, not really, because all he can scent is Bucky, aroused Alpha, but with Bucky’s delicious scent and he groans, flicking his tongue out for more of a taste of it.

“Feel like I’m gonna come already, god,” Steve gasps. He’s so embarrassed, he’s such a fucking virgin.

“’s okay, we can come together, yeah?”

Steve barely has time to agree before Bucky is speeding up his hand, and it feels so good. Steve moans, until he realizes what he wants.

“Uh, Buck?”

“Mmm?” Bucky pants in his ear.

“Could you, could we swap so I’m underneath and –”

Bucky flips them and Steve groans. Bucky’s on top of him, looking down on him and groaning, and Steve guesses it’s some weird Omega thing, but having him over him like that, his broad shoulders, sends him right over the edge.

“Fuck, Bucky!”

Bucky groans, watching Steve intently as he comes. Steve’s eyes roll back into his head, coming harder than he thinks he ever has. Bucky buries his head in Steve’s neck, kissing and sucking, and Steve gasps, shaking under Bucky as Bucky pumps his own dick, squeezes his knot, until he’s coming all over Steve’s stomach, grunting in Steve’s ear.

“Fuck,” Steve says, panting his breath back, and Bucky pulls his head up, grins at Steve, then rests his forehead against Steve’s, holding himself up by his forearms on either side of Steve’s head.

“You good?”

“No, I feel terrible,” Steve sasses back at him, then gasps as he realizes he’s got slick in-between his legs.

“What’s wrong?”

“I…” Steve blushes bright red. “I think I might have gotten slick on your couch.”

Bucky just laughs.

“Oh, yeah? Let me look.”

Steve gasps as Bucky yanks up his legs and bends him in half, spreading Steve’s legs on the pretext of inspecting the sofa.

“Bucky!” Steve yelps.

Bucky laughs from between his legs.

“Nah, sofa’s fine. Let me get that for you.”

Steve yelps as he feels Bucky’s tongue in-between his legs.

“Bucky! Bucky, oh, fuck!”

Bucky laughs low, keeps licking, and it feels insane, Bucky’s tongue in-between his legs, swiping over his hole and sending sparks flying up Steve’s spine. 

“Bucky,” he sighs again, he has no idea if he can come again, but it feels too good to stop Bucky from trying, so he relaxes down on the sofa.

“Fuck, you taste so good,” Bucky says. When he realizes Steve’s not objecting, he readjusts himself, kneeling in-between Steve’s legs, pulling Steve’s hips up and holding his thighs down and as he licks.

“Bucky, Bucky, oh, my god,” Steve moans. “I don’t know if I… I don’t know if I can again?”

“That’s okay,” Bucky says, “just enjoy it. I am.”

Steve groans, but it feels so good, he knows he’d be stupid to disagree, so he lets Bucky do what he wants. He has no idea how long Bucky’s down there for, loses all sense of time as he lets himself revel in the feeling of Bucky’s mouth on him, his firm hands on his thighs. He’s surprised how relaxed he feels. He guesses it’s because he’s already come, but he’s completely slack against the couch, no feelings of embarrassment this time. He feels content to just to lie there and moan, gasp, telling Bucky how goddamned good it feels.

Then he feels himself getting close, not as sudden as before, a slow build that makes him feel warm all over until he’s gasping, shaking in Bucky’s grip, the intensity of it taking his breath away.

“B… Buck… I…”

“Mmm, yeah, that’s so hot, Steve. Come for me, come just from me licking you out.”

God. Bucky’s dirty mouth is –

“Oh! Oh, god, Buck!” he moans as he comes, shuddering, and he’s sure he’s spilling slick, but Bucky’s happily licking it all up and groaning like it’s the hottest thing in the whole world.

Bucky moves from between his legs after he’s cleaned Steve up, sits up on the sofa, and pulls Steve to sit sideways in his lap, holding him close.

“God, Buck, that was…” he shakes his head, “incredible.”

“Mmm, good.”

Steve looks at Bucky anxiously and Bucky laughs.

“You’re a little more insecure than I remember, you know? I wouldn’t have spent half an hour in-between your legs if I wasn’t enjoying it, honey.”

“Half an hour?”

Bucky laughs and looks at the clock on the wall.

“Yeah, about that I’d say. Best way to spend half an hour, in my opinion.”

Steve blushes and looks down at Bucky’s lap. Bucky leans in and kisses him gently on the lips. He smells like slick, tastes like it, but Steve doesn’t hate it.

“Anything you didn’t like?” Bucky asks.

Steve shakes his head maybe a bit too hard and Bucky laughs.

“Good. Noted. You wanna get dressed and watch tv or something?”

“Uh… sure?” Steve agrees, not really sure what to expect out of this arrangement other than the sex. He knows it’s not just sex, they already know each other after all, and Bucky’s funny, he’s kind, he makes him laugh. He just has no idea how that fits in with Bucky’s job and… he decides he doesn’t want to think about that for now. “Maybe just half dressed?”

Steve surprises himself with the bold request, but something inside him is telling him that it should be illegal for this Alpha to ever wear a shirt.

Bucky grins.

“Sounds good to me.”

That’s how they end up, with their pants on, topless, Bucky’s arm around Steve, as they watch something on the TV Steve barely pays any attention to. It feels weird, like every teen movie Nat forced him to watch. He spends half of the time berating himself for turning Bucky down all those years ago. How could he have been such an idiot?

Neither of them bothers to move, and the TV show rolls into the next episode, but after that Steve’s stomach’s growling.

“Lunch?” Bucky asks.

“Uh, yeah, sure,” Steve agrees. “I feel like we’re doing this a little backwards?”

“What do you mean?” Bucky asks, as he unfortunately pulls his henley back on.

“Well, aren’t you supposed to take me out to lunch, then we do the Netflix and chill thing, then we fuck.”

Bucky laughs.

“I guess you’re right. Nothing wrong with mixing it up a bit.” He winks at Steve and Steve feels his stomach swoop. Jesus Christ. This is crazy.

He frowns as he sees Bucky slide on his leather gloves.

“You always wear those?”

“Not always, it just avoids questions, you know? I don’t really care about the staring, people just always want to ask me questions about it and I’d… rather not.”

“Yeah, that makes sense.”

There’s a pizza place across the road from Bucky’s apartment that Steve’s been to before and again it makes his mind spin that he could have just bumped into Bucky here at any point.

He notices the amount of looks Bucky gets from other Omegas as they walk in there.  Bucky puts his arm around him as they walk through to their table and Steve tries desperately not to preen. They sit across from each other and Bucky hooks his leg around his under the table and Steve fights the urge to giggle at him. He’s not a schoolgirl. He doesn’t giggle.

Bucky takes his hand in his and Steve almost rolls his eyes at the swooping feeling in his stomach. His body needs to calm down, this is just Bucky Barnes, doing what he always did so well, charming the hell out of Omegas.

“So, tell me more about your art. Can I see it?”

“Oh, uh.” Steve looks down. “I mean, you can, I have a few pieces around the city. There’s a gallery a few blocks over, actually.”

“Well, you’ll have to take me there some time.”

“Uh, yeah, I mean, if you want, you don’t have to,” he adds quickly, “I guess I’ve also got some pieces at my place, too, if you wanted to look at those.”

“Yeah, I’d like that,” Bucky says and there’s just something about the way he makes eye contact, so deliberate and intense that Steve has to look down and take a drink of his soda.

“So, um,” Steve says, trying to do his bit in keeping up the conversation and asking Bucky about his job, but realizing that would involve asking him about the app and that would be awkward, yet he blurts it out anyway, “how did you end up working for the app?”

Bucky grins at him, clearly sensing his awkwardness.

“Oh, well, I got home and I was in a bit of a mess, you know. Took me a while to get back on my feet, didn’t really know anyone anymore. You still keep in touch with anyone from school?”

“Just Nat, we’re still best friends.”

Bucky grins.

“Aw, that’s nice. You two always seemed really close.”

“You didn’t keep in contact with any of the guys?”

Bucky laughs.

“Please, those assholes? No, thank you. I don’t know why I ever hung out with them.” Bucky shakes his head.

“Yeah, kind of me neither.”

Bucky smirks at him, “Probably teenage Alpha bullshit.”

“Should have come and sat with me and Nat.”

“If I recall, you always told me to fuck off.”

“I…” Steve winces and becomes very interested in his pizza.

“It’s okay, I got broad shoulders.”

You sure fucking do, Steve thinks, an intrusive thought that he would love to hang on to them for dear life while Bucky fucked him.

“Steve?”

“Uhuh?”

Bucky laughs at him.

“But, yeah, the app thing, I dunno. I was just looking for work, it sounded too good to be true, really, but I thought I’d try it. Been working out pretty well for me, got my own place now.”

Steve winces. He realizes he’d have taken Bucky into his apartment in a second if he’d have known he was back in town and struggling.

“And you don’t mind the…” Steve trails off, he doesn’t know why he’s asking him this. He’s being weird and awkward, but his mouth won’t stop moving.

Bucky laughs.

“The fucking random Omegas?”

“Yeah,” Steve says, blushing.

“Well, I mean I get to match back, you know, it’s not like I have to fuck anyone that’s interested in me, it’s a two-way thing.”

Steve nods, he guesses that makes sense.

“And I’ve always had a pretty high sex drive, so.” Bucky shrugs.

Steve goes even redder. He can’t believe how easy Bucky finds it, talking about sex like this.

“Steve, you’re so sweet.”

“I…” Steve shrugs.

Bucky leans in over the table and Steve leans in with him instinctively.

“Don’t worry,” Bucky says in a low voice, “by the time I’m done with you, Stevie, you won’t be embarrassed about sex at all.”

Steve groans, his face flushing darker.

“You’re awful.”

“Am I?” Bucky grins at him. “So, how’s Nat doing?”

Steve desperately tries to keep up with the swift change of subject.

“She’s good, yeah, she’s running her own business selling custom candles and flying out to teach candle-making to people with too much money.”

"Really?"

"Well, that's her cover story, anyway. I'm a little afraid if she actually told me, she'd have to kill me."  

“Oh.”  

“Yeah, but she’s doing really good.”

“How’s your mom?” Bucky asks and Steve’s chest twists. Everyone at school knew Steve’s mom. She was the school nurse and also helped at every PTA opportunity available.

“Oh, she… she passed, about a year after we left school,” Steve pushes it past his lips. It’s still a struggle.

“Oh, shit, I’m so sorry.”

Steve grimaces a smile.

“It’s okay.”

“Man, fuck.” Bucky says, shaking his head.

“And your family?” Steve asks, desperately trying to save the conversation.

“Oh, yeah, they’re still out in Indiana, you know, doing fine.”

“Good.”

Thankfully the conversation returns to safer ground for the rest of what feels like a lunch date, and Bucky gets the bill when they’ve finished eating.

“Oh, you don’t have to, we can split.”

“It’s fine, I can claim it back as expenses.”

Steve blinks, trying to process how exactly he feels about that.

“Oh, cool.”

“So, how many days do we have left?” Bucky asks. “Did you want to meet up again before your heat? We never actually discussed any of the stuff I think we meant to, in terms of what you wanted?”

“Oh, yeah,” Steve says, “right. Um, well I’ve got something I need to work on tomorrow, but what about Tuesday, that would still give us time to discuss before my heat starts on Wednesday?”

Bucky checks his phone.

“Yeah, I’m free then. Did you want to come over to my place again, or shall we do yours?”

“Um, mine, let’s do mine,” Steve says, because the idea of Bucky’s scent all over his apartment is suddenly very appealing. Jesus Christ. Steve wasn’t aware he was capable of feeling this weird Omega shit.

“Sure. 10 again?”

“Yes, please.”

Bucky nods, putting it into his phone. They walk out of the restaurant together and pause outside.

“I’ll see you Tuesday, then?” Steve says awkwardly, unsure how they’re supposed to end this date.

Bucky nods, smiling at Steve, and Steve’s aware he’s likely being awkward again from the amused look Bucky’s giving him. Bucky puts his arm around Steve’s waist, pulls him close before Steve can think about how he feels about PDAs in the street, when Bucky slides his gloved hand through Steve’s hair and pulls him into a kiss. It’s short, but somehow Bucky still manages to slide his tongue into his mouth, and leaves Steve breathless when he pulls away.

“See you later, honey,” Bucky says, then walks away, leaving Steve standing there gawping in the middle of the street.

*

Monday

He’s supposed to be painting today. He’s got a commission piece due the week after his heat that he really needs to get finished, but as he stands in front of the canvas, nothing seems to be happening. He realizes that 20 minutes have passed and all he has done is stare at it with a paintbrush in his hand. He sighs, running a hand through his hair.

He’s been daydreaming about Bucky. God. He never imagined being attracted to someone could be this disruptive. He literally can’t stop think about him. He’s 23 years old, isn’t he a little old for a schoolgirl crush?

He thinks about texting Bucky, but he doesn’t want him to think he’s being clingy. He has no idea how this is supposed to work in a real relationship, let alone a weird artificial one set up on an app. He noticed last night that their dates are logged on the app, which he guesses is how Bucky claims backs his expenses. That made him feel a million kinds of weird, but he tries not to think about it. They’re both getting what they need: Steve is finally getting an Alpha he’s attracted to for his heat, and Bucky is making a living. He pushes down the part of himself saying that this isn’t a real relationship, isn’t a normal way to have a relationship. Real hadn’t worked for Steve, so maybe this is fine.

He sighs, staring at the commission on his easel. It’s just not happening. He picks it up and puts it aside for now and, against his better judgement, picks up one of the blank canvases he has in the corner of the room. Because, really, he knows exactly what he wants to paint. He gets up the app, mutes his messages, turns off the screensaver on his phone, and opens the topless picture of Bucky.

*

“Hey, Steve!”

Steve jumps at the sound of Nat’s voice, turning around to look at the door. It’s dark, and he has no idea how that has happened. His stomach rumbles. He’s starving, thirsty, and desperate for a piss. He stares at the mostly finished portrait of Bucky that is staring back at him. Oh, shit. This hasn’t happened to him in a long time.

He rushes to the door, opens it.

Nat’s standing there, looking ready to go out.

“Fuck, you’re alive, good!” She laughs.

“Shit, I’m so sorry, what time is it?”

“It’s 8pm, asshole!”

“Oh, fuck.” He was supposed to meet Nat for drinks at 7. “I’m so sorry! Fuck.”

“Did you get the painting hyperfocus?”

“Yeah… fuck… I need to piss, hang on, come in, we can still go out.”

She laughs.

“Sure. But you’re buying.”

“Yeah, seems fair,” Steve says and rushes to the bathroom.

He comes back out and finds Nat, unfortunately, standing in front of the portrait of Bucky, looking like she’s about to burst out laughing.

“Don’t.”

“Oh, my god,” she says, shaking her head.

“Don’t you like it?” Steve snarks.

“Clearly, someone likes it," she teases and Steve blushes, looking away.

God, he's being so pathetic. He feels a touch on his arm and turns to see Nat looking at him, her expression painfully sincere,

"Steve, it's gorgeous.” She raises a perfectly manicured eyebrow, as if to ask if he believes her.

Steve shrugs, going to get a glass of water and gulping it down. He quickly goes to change and comes back out in a smart pair of jeans and a dark blue button down.

“I look okay?”

“That depends on if we're going out for drinks, or hanging you on the wall at your gallery,” she says fondly, dragging him over to the sink to wash the paint off his hair and neck.

“Unless you were trying to match?” she asks, eyes looking over his shoulder.

He follows her gaze back to the portrait of Bucky on the easel and groans, rolling his eyes. Her answering laugh follows him as he stalks out through the door.

They walk silently to the bar for a few minutes before Nat starts laughing again.

“Oh, shut up.”

“So, I take it things are going well with Barnes?”

“Uh, yeah, they are.”

She raises her eyebrows expectantly at him. Steve groans, pushes open the door to the bar and they go to find a seat. Nat orders them two long island ice teas and then turns that ‘so…?’ look on him again.

“What? You want every detail?”

“Yes, Rogers, you always got all my details!”

“Did I want them, though?”

“Oh, come on! Give me something here,” she says, rolling her eyes.

“Alright, alright, well I told you about the first date, and then yesterday I went over to his place, and we…” Steve trails off, his eyes darting around to check that no one can hear them. “We did scenting, cuddling, and some…”

Nat shakes her head at him.

“Oh, my god, Steve, you are 23 years old, you don’t have to whisper.”

“I… alright, fine, we made out a lot, he jerked us both off, and then he licked me out for like 30 minutes and I came again and think I nearly died. Are you happy?”

“Yes!” she grins. “How was it? Did you like it?”

“Yes,” Steve says simply.

She laughs.

“Well, good! And are you gonna see him for your heat?”

“Yeah, and we’re gonna see each other again tomorrow.”

“This is so exciting!”

Steve rolls his eyes.

“Come on, Nat, it’s just an app thing, it’s not like it’s anything serious.”

Nat shrugs.

“It could be. I know lots of people that met their mates on apps like that.”

“On dating apps, maybe, and it’s been, like, two dates!”

“I’m just saying, don’t rule it out!”

“Can we talk about something else, please?”

“Of course, I met this Alpha last night, his name was Ted, and his dick was –”

“Urgh, Nat, please,” Steve groans.

*

Tuesday

Steve’s pretty nervous about Bucky turning up at his house. He knows that Bucky said Steve can just kick him out whenever if he doesn’t feel comfortable, but Steve’s knows he can be awkward and overly polite and… where the fuck is he supposed to put that canvas? His apartment is open plan, with his bedroom and the bathroom being the only rooms that have doors. He curses. He thinks about leaning it against the wall but it’s still slightly wet. Fuck. He turns the easel around, hoping he’ll be able to just distract Bucky from it. He is coming here with a reason, after all.

He groans at his wardrobe before going for just jeans and a plain shirt, guessing Bucky’s gonna take it off him pretty quickly anyway. He shudders, giving the apartment a final once over before deeming it ready, just in time as he hears a knock on the door.

He gulps, tells himself to calm the fuck down, and goes and opens it.

“Hey, Stevie,” Bucky smiles wide at him and the butterflies in Steve’s stomach he gets at that smile are enough to nearly choke him.

Bucky’s wearing a dark blue jeans, a black tee, and a black leather jacket that looks so sinfully hot on him, Steve forgets how to talk for a second.

“Hey,” he forces out of his mouth, trying desperately to get his nerves to settle down. “Come in, you want a drink?”

“Yeah, sure.”  

Steve’s jealous of how easy Bucky is, how relaxed he looks in Steve’s home, taking off his leather jacket and putting it up on the hooks by the door.

“You want a beer? Or I got some soda?”

“Soda’s good,” Bucky says, shutting the door behind him. “Wow, this is a sweet apartment,” he says, looking around at Steve’s red brick, loft apartment, admiring the windows and the view.

“Yeah,” Steve says, trying not to feel embarrassed for being able to afford such a nice apartment. He still feels weird about it, having not grown up rich, like someone might turn up one day and tell him he’s not allowed to have it. “It was a good find.”

Steve’s obviously an idiot and so flustered about Bucky being in his apartment that he completely forgets about the canvas.  He busies himself making them both drinks and lets Bucky go wandering around as he pleases.

“Oh, wow,” he hears from behind him.

Steve thinks Bucky must be talking about the view and turns, about to give his usual comment that it’s beautiful but he’s forever cleaning the windows, when he sees that Bucky’s looking at the canvas on the easel. Oh, fuck. Steve nearly drops the sodas.

“Fuck, I… meant to, um, put… that… somewhere?” Steve says, his voice getting progressively higher.

He can’t see Bucky’s expression, since he’s standing behind the canvas, and feels himself blushing bright red.

“Like, I saw you were on my profile a lot yesterday, but I figured you were just jerking off,” Bucky says.

“Oh, my god,” Steve groans. If the ground could swallow him up right now, that would be great.

He thinks he might as well get it over with and walks over to stand next to Bucky, handing him the soda. He’s relieved to see Bucky has one of his standard cocksure grins on his face and doesn’t think Steve’s a freak or something.

“When did you do this?” Bucky asks.

“Yesterday.”

“What?! That’s… insane. Steve, it’s amazing.”

“It’s a bit creepy.”

Bucky laughs.

“I mean, maybe it’s a bit creepy, but I like it.”

Steve groans and turns away from him, covering his face with his hand.

“I dunno what happened, I was supposed to be working on a commission and…”

“Wow, you were supposed to be doing regular work and you painted this instead?”

Oh, god. Why did Steve tell him that?

“Steve,” Bucky says, “come here, don’t be embarrassed. You just need to get dicked down so bad.”

Steve splutters, not having expected Bucky to come to that conclusion. He smiles at him.

“Seriously, it’s amazing. You’re so talented. Can I have it?” Bucky asks as he pulls Steve closer, and Steve’s losing all higher mental capabilities even before their hips touch.

“Have what?” he asks, staring at Bucky dumbly.

Bucky laughs.

“The canvas.”

“What?” Steve comes back to himself a little and laughs. “You want a giant portrait of yourself, half naked, in your own apartment?”

“Hell yeah.”

“Alphas,” Steve mutters and Bucky laughs.

He pulls Steve closer and kisses him and Steve feels blood rush to his crotch.

“Mmm, Stevie, feel so fucking good, baby,” he mutters as he holds Steve closes, kissing him filthy and deep, and Steve melts into his arms like some Omega swooning in a film. It should be embarrassing, but Bucky’s body feels so amazing against his, Steve just doesn’t care.

“So, where you wanna do this? You wanna show me your bedroom?”

“Uh, sure,” Steve says, sure he’s bright red again.

“Okay,” Bucky says, then scoops Steve up, his arm sweeping under Steve’s legs, and Steve yelps.

“Bucky!”

Bucky just laughs, carrying him easily into the bedroom under Steve’s direction. Steve’s brain is lighting up like a Christmas tree at how good it feels to have Bucky carrying him around. 

“God, it scents so good in here, Steve.” He lays Steve down on the bed, stays standing at the end of it, and Steve tries not to mewl at how hot he looks just standing there, like he’s waiting to rip off his clothes and ravish him and. Fuck. Steve’s so slick, he thinks he might need to throw away his briefs. “So, what did you want to do today?”

“Uhh…” Steve says eloquently, trying not to stare at Bucky’s crotch in way of explanation.

“You wanna just see how it goes again?”

“Yes, please.”

“Okay,” Bucky nods, taking off his top and pushing off his jeans, and Steve stares at the bulge of Bucky’s dick through his black boxers. Holy fuck. Steve wants.

Bucky smirks at him.

“Did you want to get undressed, too?” Bucky asks him. 

Steve realizes he’s just been sitting there on the bed gawping and shoves off his jeans, takes off his top, and licks his lips nervously at the hungry look Bucky’s giving him.

“I think I’d like to get my fingers inside you today at least, Stevie, what do you think?”

Steve’s brain shorts out.

“Uhuh,” he nods.

Bucky grins and gets on the bed. He lies sideways next to Steve and pulls him into his arms, kissing him, and Steve has no idea how Bucky makes kissing feel so filthy. His tongue in this mouth is sinful, the way he pulls on Steve’s bottom lip with his teeth and looks at him like he’s going to take him apart.

“Bucky,” he sighs out, pulling him closer, “can I put my hands in your hair?”

“Mmm, yeah, I love that. Pull if you like.”

Steve’s kissing him again, feeling a little more confident, and gets a good grip on Bucky’s hair.

“Fuck, yeah, just like that. God,” Bucky mutters, then moves his kisses down over Steve’s neck, over his gland, and Steve moans.

“Bucky!”

“Mmm,” Bucky agrees, kissing and nibbling at Steve’s gland, and Steve grabs harder onto Bucky’s hair. Bucky groans, starts grinding his dick against Steve’s thigh, and it makes Steve feel giddy what he wants Bucky to do with that. He kind of wants to touch it. He reaches down and cups Bucky’s dick through his boxers and Bucky grunts in surprise into his mouth.

“Yeah? You wanna jerk me off?”

“Well, not… all the way off,” Steve says.

Bucky laughs.

“Yeah, okay.” He takes Steve’s hand and pushes it inside his boxers and Steve groans, so fucking slick and hard.

God, Bucky’s dick feels so fucking big compared to his. He wraps his hand around it and Bucky moans, then pushes off his boxers. Steve strokes it slowly, pulling back a bit to look at Bucky’s face, to try to work out what he likes.

Bucky grins at him, then moans.

“Fuck, yeah, feels good, honey, little faster, yeah, just like that.” Bucky moans and rests his head on the pillow right next to Steve’s neck and Steve realizes that Bucky’s breathing him in, wanting his scent while Steve jerks him off and, holy shit. Steve realizes what he wants next and bites his lip, sure he’s not going to be brave enough to ask to do it.

“What?” Bucky asks, his eyes flicking down to Steve’s hand on his cock. “You worrying about taking all that dick inside you, honey?”

“No, you jerk,” Steve sasses back at him, feeling a little more like himself. “I was thinking of putting it in my mouth.”

Bucky groans.

“Oh, fuck, be my guest, but I was thinking you needed a bit of attention, Stevie. Dying at the scent of your slick right now. Think you could drown someone down there?”

“Bucky!” Steve groans and hits him on the arm. “That’s not sexy!”

Bucky snorts a laugh, pulls Steve closer, and puts his hands down the back of his pants.

“Fuck,” Steve gasps. “God, Buck.” He keeps stroking Bucky’s dick, but it’s increasingly hard to concentrate as Bucky teases his asshole, sliding his fingers around it. “Please,” he gasps, then blushes hard.

“Mmm, didn’t have you down for the begging kind, Stevie.”

“Bucky.” Steve can’t think properly, his mind is a warm, aroused fuzz.

“Tell you what, honey, why don’t I get these briefs off and we can 69. You know what that is?”

“Yes!” Steve says indignantly, not admitting the reason he knows is because Nat explained it to him entirely against his will. “But my…” he starts as Bucky goes to push down his pants, looking down at the sheets.

“You that wet, honey? Fuck,” Bucky groans, then pushes Steve onto his front. “Don’t worry, I got it.”

Bucky pulls down his pants and Steve pushes his face into the pillow in embarrassment and then groans as Bucky licks him, one thick stripe against his asshole, before licking up all the slick on his thighs and balls.

“Fuck! Holy fuck, Bucky, god,” Steve groans. He’d forgotten how good Bucky’s tongue felt down there.

“Mmm, taste so fucking good, swear to god,” Bucky mutters, then gets back to it, licking and sucking and –

“Fuck! Bucky that’s… filthy.”

Bucky chuckles. Steve gasps as he feels a finger tracing around his rim.

“Oh, oh, god.”

“Relax, Stevie, I got you. You fingered yourself before, right?”

“Yeah.”

“Okay, good,” Bucky says, and then his finger’s pushing inside him and Steve moans. It feels different to his own fingers, to the toys. It’s like somehow his body knows that those fingers belong to an Alpha. The thought of any part of Bucky being inside him is blowing his mind and he raises his hips up on instinct, pushing up into presenting position, and gasps as he realizes what he’s done.

“Oh, fuck, yeah, look at that ass, you look so good like this,” Bucky groans, “so beautiful.”

Steve blushes, pushing his face down into the pillow. Bucky moves his fingers slowly and Steve whimpers, the most mortifying noise Steve thinks he’s ever made, and Bucky groans, carefully moving his fingers til he finds Steve’s glands inside and Steve yelps.

“Fuck!”

Bucky laughs low.

“Oh, yeah, there they are, huh?”

He pushes in another finger and Steve’s so wet, so relaxed, that it goes in easy, and Bucky’s starts pushing on those glands again and Steve’s eyes roll back into his head.

He tries to say something, Bucky’s name is what he thinks he’s going for, but what actually comes out is –

“Alpha!”

Bucky outright growls behind him and Steve shudders on the bed.

“Fuck, so hot, baby, you’re so gorgeous,” he mutters, then he’s gently wrapping his metal hand around Steve’s dick. It’s cool, smoother than Steve imagined, and Steve yelps.

“Oh, god!”

“Okay?” Bucky asks.

Steve gives a weak laugh.

“Yeah.”

“Good, good Omega,” Bucky purrs and Steve. Steve is fucked. He’s so gone on Bucky. And Bucky is incredible in bed. He’s fucked.

He keeps fucking Steve with his fingers, keeps ghosting that cool metal hand over Steve’s dick, his balls, driving Steve absolutely crazy.

He tries to say Bucky’s name again, but fails again.

“Alpha, Alpha, I’m gonna… if you keep…”

Bucky moves his hands faster, hitting that spot inside, and it’s just too fucking good.

“Mmm, fuck, yeah, want you to come for me, Omega, come nice and hard, then you can suck my dick, huh?”

Steve’s mortified that the suggestion of sucking Bucky’s dick is what sends him over the edge as he comes hard, groaning and clenching his hands in the pillow, his whole body tensing up as he comes.

“Fuck! Oh, god!” he yells and Bucky groans behind him, fucking him through it, licking around his fingers and licking up the slick that’s sliding down his thighs.

“Mmm, god, you’re so hot, Stevie.”

Steve pants, trying to get his breath back, when Bucky starts licking him again.

“Oh, god, Buck. I’m not in heat, you know.”

“I know,” Bucky chuckles, “when you’re in heat, I’ll give you lots more.”

Bucky flips him onto his back and Steve groans as he looks at him. The insanely gorgeous Alpha in-between his legs, in his bed, for god sake, muscley and sexy, more on the cocksure side of confident, and looking at Steve like he’s gonna fuck him into next week. Maybe next month.

Steve groans as Bucky moves his mouth down, licking over his balls and his dick. He slides his fingers back inside him and Steve groans.

“Oh! God, Bucky.” Steve groans, staring blissed out at the ceiling. “Thought I was gonna suck your dick?”

“Got distracted. I’ll get back to that in a minute.”

God, Bucky is just so good at it. Not that Steve has any prior experience to compare it to, apart from maybe stories Nat’s told him about Alphas who had no idea what they were doing, but every place Bucky touches him lights up, everywhere he puts his mouth, everywhere he pushes his fingers. Steve flops down on the bed, giving in to whatever Bucky’s doing completely. He looks down at Bucky, at how good he looks with Steve’s dick in his mouth, and it’s only then that the reason Bucky’s quite so good at this decides to make itself known in Steve’s head.

Because Bucky’s a sex worker. Because he literally does this for a living. To lots of other lucky Omegas. Omegas that aren’t him. Steve’s stomach sinks, and it must effect his scent, because Bucky pulls back and looks up at him, concerned and sweet, and Steve needs to stop thinking. He just needs to stop thinking.

“It’s okay, sorry, god, I’m sorry,” Steve groans, putting his hand over his face.

“Just relax, honey, it’s only me. Remember, let me take care of you.” Just like he’s trained to. God. Shut up, Steve. Stop ruining this.

Bucky moves back up, clearly scenting the change, feeling Steve tense up.

“Hey,” Bucky says, lying next to Steve, cupping his face. “What’s wrong?”

Steve looks back at Bucky and, god. He never really understood the term devastatingly handsome until he looked at Bucky all grown up.

Steve opens his mouth and closes it again. He can’t. He can’t tell him what’s wrong, it’s ridiculous. He started this whole thing knowing what Bucky does for a living, hell, because of what Bucky does for a living. He closes his eyes.

“Do you want to stop?” Bucky asks.

Steve shakes his head, because he really, really doesn’t. He wants to keep doing this, it was making him feel so good, he just needs to stop thinking about why Bucky’s so good at it. Fuck, that might not even be why, maybe he was always that good at this, and that’s why the job is such a good fit.

“Can I suck your dick?”

“Are you sure?” Bucky frowns.

“Yeah.” Because Steve did want to suck his dick, he still does, and he’s not letting his stupid, overthinking brain ruin this.

He moves down the bed before Bucky can object. Bucky turns onto his back, opening his legs and Steve, as he hoped, is completely distracted from his stupid feelings by having Bucky’s dick this close to his face. Bucky scents amazing down here. Steve only has a vague idea what he’s doing, except it almost feels like instinct when he slides his cheek along Bucky’s dick, wanting it in his face, and Bucky groans.

“Fuck, Stevie, any idea what you look like, doing that?”

Steve doesn’t reply, because he doesn’t, really, and his instincts are taking over again as he slides his lips down Bucky’s dick.

“Ah, fuck, Stevie,” he moans, stroking his hands through Steve’s short hair, “you sure you haven’t done that before?”

Steve can’t exactly reply, so he just carries on sucking, trying to get over the overwhelming feeling of arousal that’s flooding him at having the Alpha’s dick in his mouth. He can only just get his lips around it, they feel like they’re already starting to go a little numb, but Steve couldn’t care less. He starts thinking about how it’s gonna feel pushing inside him and shudders, feeling himself getting slick again, and, god, how did other Omegas deal with feeling like this all the time?

“Mmm, turn around, honey, come and shove your beautiful ass in my face.”

Steve nearly chokes on Bucky’s dick at the suggestion and Bucky laughs.

“Hey, careful, honey.”  

Bucky leans forward and grabs him, pulling him around so he’s lying the other way up on him, and Steve can barely orientate himself before Bucky’s shoving his face in-between Steves ass cheeks again.

“Fuck,” he gasps, collapsing down onto Bucky, then realizing he’s still got Bucky’s dick in his face. He groans, sliding his lips back down and, fuck, that feels amazing.

“Oh, fuck, yeah, just like that,” Bucky says.

Steve moans, shuddering at the pleasure of Bucky’s tongue on his ass, at him holding him so firm with both hands. He desperately keeps sucking at Bucky’s dick, trying to keep up, but Bucky doesn’t seem to mind so much, still moaning even when Steve’s keeping still, just holding Bucky’s dick in his mouth.

“So good, Stevie,” Bucky moans, “taste so fucking good, god.”

Steve moans around Bucky’s dick as Bucky pushes two fingers back inside him.

“Yeah, fuck, yeah,” Bucky mutters to himself, then speeds up his fingers, fucking Steve hard and fast with them until Steve’s squealing around his dick.

“Fuck, that’s so hot, you gonna come with my dick in your mouth, honey?”

Bucky’s filthy mouth is enough to put Steve over the edge again, moaning and probably ruining his sheets and Bucky’s beard. The thought of his slick all over Bucky’s face makes Steve come even harder, groaning around Bucky’s dick and shaking on top of him.

“God, fuck, Stevie, you gotta, I’m gonna…” Bucky says, pulling on Steve’s hair to pull him back, but Steve has the sudden feeling that he wants it down his throat. Steve makes a noise of protest, pushing his head back down pointedly and Bucky groans. “Fuck, Steve, I, a... lot… fuck!” he yells as Steve pushes his mouth down, trying to get as much of his dick into his mouth as possible.

He hasn’t actually thought this through, of course, because Bucky is coming right at the back of his throat and Steve gags before it hits his tongue and his body apparently registers it for what it is and gulps on instinct, gulping down Bucky’s come, and he’s sure that should be disgusting, it’s always sounded disgusting when people told him about it, but now he can’t get enough of it.

“Fuck! Steve, oh, my god,” Bucky sighs, running his hands through Steve’s hair and shivering before going lax on the bed underneath him.

Reality comes back to Steve painfully quickly and he realizes he’s lying on top of Bucky with his ass in his face still and pulls back and turns around.

“Stevie, are you sure you’ve never done that before?” Bucky asks him with a dazed look on his face.

As embarrassed as Steve’s now feeling about the whole thing, he can’t help but feel proud at a comment like that.

“No,” Steve says, smiling at Bucky. Bucky holds out his arms to him and Steve can’t help flicking his eyes up and down the naked Alpha and, Jesus Christ. He lets Bucky pull him onto his chest and lays on top of him.

They’re quiet for a while before Bucky breaks the silence.

“God, I can’t wait to fuck you.”

“Buck!” Steve splutters, and Bucky laughs.

“What? You do still want me to fuck you, don’t you?”

“Yes,” Steve says, laughing, turning his head into Bucky’s neck and, Jesus. How does he scent so good? How did his come taste so good, surely that was weird? Maybe he could ask Nat about that, as much as he’ll embarrass himself in doing so. “I gotta go clean up. I’ll be two seconds.”

“Okay,” Bucky agrees, looking like he couldn’t get up and move even if he wanted to.

Steve goes into the bathroom and quickly cleans himself up. He catches a look of himself in the mirror and blinks. He looks flushed in his cheeks, a change from his usual pale complexion. He goes back into the bedroom, trying not to overthink the fact that he’s practically glowing, and gets back into bed with Bucky.

“Mmm, god, that was so good, Steve.”

Steve nods, can only agree that it was incredible, not that he has anything to compare it to.

Bucky thankfully hasn’t put on any clothes and is looking so good in Steve’s bed, Steve worries he’s never going to be able to go in there again without picturing him lying there, completely naked and gorgeous. Steve resumes his earlier position, lying on Bucky’s chest, breathing him in deep. He feels settled. Calm. He’s sure his heart is even beating a little slower than its usually erratic rhythm.

“You wanna watch a movie?” Bucky asks.

“Yeah,” Steve agrees. It feels so nice, lying here with Bucky, so easy. He finds the remote and passes it to Bucky, not caring what he puts on.

He lies there happily with Bucky for the whole movie, letting him stroke his hair, his back, inhaling his scent, and reveling in this feeling of relaxation and content that he doesn’t think he’s ever felt before.

The movie’s wrapping up and something in Steve is singing of its own accord that finally, hopefully he’s found something with someone, something normal, like so many other people had, something comforting, loving, with insanely good sex, when his brain stalls, remembering that this isn’t what this is at all.

His chest lurches and he tries to control himself. He’s being crazy, that was what it was. It’s only been a few days and he knew exactly what he was getting into when he started it.

“You okay?” Bucky asks, running his hands through Steve’s hair.

“How do you do that?”

“It’s your scent.”

“Oh.” That really didn’t seem fair. Lie, Steve. Quickly. “I think I’m just nervous about tomorrow.”

Bucky kisses him on the head.

“Don’t be. I promise I’ll take care of you. You can trust me.”

“I know,” Steve says, “I know.”

Bucky squeezes him tight. Steve’s brain needs to shut up. He has to make this work. This heat has to work. He doesn’t want to go into a hospital for his heat. If nothing else, it would just be so goddamned embarrassing. What would they even do? Measure how much slick he was producing?

“I just really want this to work,” Steve blurts.

“I know, it’s okay. Is there any reason it shouldn’t?”

Yeah, Steve thinks, me, being crazy.

“No, I know, it’s just…” Steve trails off and Bucky kisses him.

“It’s just me, Steve. We have great sex, if I’m not being too presumptuous. I’m gonna fuck you so good, you’re gonna completely change your mind about heats, trust me.”

Steve gives a weak laugh.

“Oh, before I forget, I need to go through this list with you.”

“Oh?”

“It’s just for the app thing, it’s just about what you do and don’t consent to, that’s all, but, like, not just that. What you’d like and stuff.”

Right, Steve’s stupid brain hisses at him, the app. The real reason why Bucky’s here. He tries to ignore it and nods.

“Sure.”

“You got your phone?”

“Yeah.”

“I’ll send it to you on the app, hang on, then we can go through it together.”

“Okay,” Steve agrees, that voice in his head getting way too loud for his liking.

“So, we already did scenting and some physical touching. Do you want that in your heat?”

Steve nods.

“You have to click there.”

“Got it.”

“And do you want me to fuck you in your heat?”

Steve tries really hard not to flush at the direct question and fails. He guesses it’ll be best if they can just get this over and done with.

“Yes.”

“And knotting?”

“Uh, yeah,” Steve agrees, although he has no idea what that’s going to feel like. He goes through the form, kind of wondering why he couldn’t just go over this by himself.

“Are you on any birth control?”

“Yeah, I’ve got the implant.”

“It says here you’ve got a clean bill of health from your doctor. I have, too, did you want me to still wear a condom?”

“I…” Steve opens and closes his mouth. God, he hadn’t even thought about that. He realizes what he needs to ask. “Would you be… seeing any other Omegas between now and my heat?”

“No, it’d all be safe, but some people like to do it just in case, I guess.”

“I…” He trusts Bucky, he doesn’t see any reason to wear one. “No, I think we’re good if you’re clean and there’s no one else between now and then.”

Bucky nods. It worries Steve how blank he keeps his face. He desperately wants to know what Bucky thinks of all of that, but Bucky’s got his professional face on, like he knows he has to ask all these questions, like he's asked them all before. Eurgh.

“Okay, so physical touching, scenting, oral, sex…”

“Yes, please.”

This at least gets a bit of a smirk out of Bucky.

“Cuddles?”

“Yes.”

“Any positions you don’t like?”

“I have honestly no idea.”

“Right, sorry. Anything we’ve done so far you didn’t like?”

Steve shakes his head. Bucky goes back to the form on the app.

“What about bondage? Seems a bit much for your first heat, but,” he looks up from his phone at Bucky.

Steve blinks, he’s never really thought about that.

“Uh, yeah, probably not.”

Bucky nods.

“You’re not allergic to anything, are you?”

Steve shakes his head.

“Toys?”

“Um, yeah, sure.”

“You use any normally?”

“Yeah.” Steve wonders if he could possibly get any more embarrassed.

“Vibrators, plugs?”

Steve looks down at the comforter but Bucky takes his chin and tilts it back up.

“Hey, Stevie, it’s only me. You don’t have to be embarrassed about this stuff.”

“I have a vibrator. I have a plug as well.”

Bucky nods.

“How do you usually manage your heats?”

“I use my toys and try not to die?”

“Well, like I say, this one’s gonna be a little different,” Bucky says with a grin. “Is there anything else you can think of that you would or wouldn’t want me to do?”

“Not really.”

“Great,” Bucky says, tossing his phone away, “sorry, I have to do that, or I get told off.”

Steve can’t help it, can’t help the way it sends his mind spiraling. It sounds like… it sounds like something someone would say after getting him to sign something for a commission, making him cross all the t’s and dot all the i's. 

“Steve? Stevie? What wrong?”

“I don’t… I don’t think I can do this, Buck,” Steve feels like he’s choking on his own breath.

Bucky leans over him where Steve’s leaned himself forward on the bed.

“Hey, Stevie, talk to me. What’s going on?”

“I… just… I don’t think I can, the way I feel about, I… don’t think…” Steve needs to shut up. He can’t do this. He needs Bucky for his heat. He needs for it to work, but his stomach lurches at the thought, something inside him screaming that this isn’t right. That this isn’t how you should get together with someone. That a heat should be spent with a mate, a real one, that you found on your own without some stupid app and –

“Steve, do you want me to leave?”

God, Steve is fucking this all up. They had great sex and Steve’s fucking it up and he’ll have to go to the hospital for his heat and –

“No, Buck, I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I can make this work.”

“Hey, hey, it’s okay, Stevie.”

Bucky cups his face and it’s so sweet, but it’s not real and Steve can’t take it.

“Um. Maybe, yeah.”

“You want me to leave?”

Steve nods. He’s being so rude, so stupid, so…

“I will, but can you do me a favor? Can you call Nat and tell her to come over here, or just chat to you? Cos I don’t feel great leaving you like this.”

“Okay, okay… I will… I promise.”

“Okay.”

Bucky reluctantly steps back and Bucky is so fucking handsome, it makes Steve want to cry.

“Please, call me later, or message me, whatever works?”

“Yeah,” Steve chokes out. His own idiocy rings loud in his ears as he hears the most perfect Alpha ever walk out of his apartment and shut the door behind him. He does at least make good on his promise to Bucky and texts Nat, asking her to call him.

*

“Okay,” Nat says, once Steve has spilled to her all the stupid shit that happened earlier and how he’s a colossal idiot.

They’re sitting at either end of the sofa, drinking the weird tea Nat brought with her because she said it might make him feel better.

“I’m an idiot.”

“You’re not an idiot, you were clearly feeling upset and uncomfortable. Have you texted him?”

“Yeah,” Steve sighs, blowing on the tea. “I apologized.”

“What‘d he say?”

“He told me not to apologize and to call him or text him later to work out what the fuck we’re gonna do about tomorrow.”

“Okay, so, let’s break this down,” she says, going into full bestie therapist mode so fast Steve almost laughs. “What’s the problems here? You think he’s hot?”

“Yes.”

“He’s good in bed.”

“God, yes.”

“So, what’s the issue? You don’t like the idea of him fucking other Omegas?”

Steve frowns.

“I’m not sure how I feel about that. It’s… weird. I don’t think it’s exactly the other Omegas. It’s like,” Steve sighs, “it’s like, I know we only met again because of this app and it all just feels weird and contrived and I guess I just wanted a normal relationship, like, why did it have to be weird like this, like he’s…” he sighs, forcing himself over his prudishness, “he’s licking me out and it feels fucking incredible and I’m thinking, oh, well, that’s cos it’s his job, he’s an expert, and the only reason he’s fucking you is because –”

“Steve,” Nat protests.

“I know, I know, I know he has to agree, and that he is into me, I get that, it’s just…” he sighs and shakes his head. “It just feels real, and then it feels fake, and it’s fucking with my head and I just don’t have time for this, like, I can already feel my fucking pre-heat. Fuck!” He puts the tea down and puts his head in his hands.

“Hey, hey, it’s okay.” She comes over to his side of the sofa and puts her arms around him and he sighs, flopping against her. “Look, you think you’re catching feelings, or what?”

Steve’s silence is damning, but he guesses at least that means he doesn’t have to say it out loud.

“Okay. That does make things complicated, I’ll admit. But it’s only been a few days, Steve. What are your options here? Let this gorgeous Alpha fuck you through your heat and maybe it’s a bit complicated and you get hurt afterwards, or you check yourself into the hospital.”

“I am not checking myself into that fucking hospital, Nat.”

*

Steve tries texting Bucky. He does. Again and again, but he just doesn’t know what to tell him, what he’s even feeling. Mostly he just wants to apologize for jerking Bucky around. It’s getting close to 10pm when he starts to panic. He needs to make a plan for tomorrow, otherwise he’s going to be alone and hospitalized and —

He’s typing possibly his 50^th attempt at the message when Bucky starts calling him. Steve is still swiping his thumb across the keyboard when he hits accept by accident and swears.

“Hey, Stevie,” Bucky says, sounding a bit more amused than Steve thinks he should. “You know I can see you typing, right? Thought I’d put you out of your misery.”

“Thanks,” Steve says dryly, putting Bucky on speaker and flopping back on the bed. “I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be. I’m just glad you’re talking to me. I thought you were gonna ghost me.”

God, why is his voice so sexy? It’s so fucking distracting.

“Oh, God, no. I just… didn’t know what to say.”

“It’s okay,” Bucky’s voice is so soothing, Steve can’t help but let his anxiety settle a little. It’s weird. Usually getting this worked up would have given him an asthma attack by now.

“Do you want to talk about what happened?” Bucky asks.

“Not really,” Steve says honestly, “but we should.”

“I just wanted to know if it was something I did. You seemed to really enjoy it, but then…”

God, does Bucky think he’s frigid?

“I was, I did, honestly, the sex was amazing, I just… I was just overthinking stuff.”

“Yeah, like what?”

Steve sighs out long.

“I…” his words get stuck in his throat. “Just, everything, I think. I’ve never been with someone like this before, I think it’s just a lot to process how it’s making me feel,” Steve knows he’s not telling Bucky the real issue, but God, he just… doesn’t want to talk about it.

“Okay, I… what do you want to do about tomorrow? I’m not trying to force the issue or anything but –”

“The clock is ticking, yeah, I know,” Steve says, “I still want you here.”

“Are you sure?”

“Yeah, I mean, it’s not like I’m going to get anxious and freak out while I’m in heat, right? All I’m going to want is your dick.”

“Well, yeah, but, Steve, if you’re not sure, I –”

“What other option is there, Buck? It’s this or the hospital.”

“I just don’t want you to regret anything, Steve, that’s all.”

“I won’t, I promise, don’t worry about it. I’m just overthinking it. If you still… want to, that is?”

Bucky’s low laugh makes Steve feel tingly.

“Stevie, I’ve wanted to fuck you since high school.”

Steve splutters.

“Okay, well… I guess I’ll see you tomorrow, then.”

“Your place or mine?”

“Erm… can we do mine? I already kind of feel like I wanna…” Steve can’t quite make himself say the words, but his duvet is not correctly arranged and as for the pillows...

“That’s fine, what time do you want me to come over?”

“Um, would earlish be okay? It usually starts kind of early.”

“Sure, like 7? Does that sound okay?”

“Yeah, please, are you sure that’s okay?”

“Yeah, Steve, come on, I don’t mind. Do you want me to bring any food? Any drinks?”

“I, uh… might have forgotten to get food.”

“Well, I’ll see what I can pick up, yeah? You still like lemon cheesecake?”

“Why do you remember that?”

Bucky laughs low.

“Stevie, I don’t think you really understood the efforts I was undertaking to try and get you to date me when we were at school.”

Steve blushes hard.

“Oh,” he says, not really sure what he’s supposed to say to that.

“Do you?”

“What?”

“Do you still like lemon cheesecake?”

“Oh, yeah,” Steve says, thinking he could actually stuff his face with some right now.

“Great, I’ll bring some over. I’ll see you in the morning.”

“Thanks, Bucky, I’m sorry for being weird earlier.”

“Hey, don’t, you’ve got nothing to apologize for, Stevie. It’s fine. Sweet dreams.”

Bucky hangs up and Steve tries not to think about the weird, warm feeling that last phrase gives him.

There’s a text from Nat waiting for him.

Nat: what did you decide?

Steve: I’ve asked him to still come over for it

Nat: check in with me when you’re done, I hope it goes okay. He’s a sweetheart, Steve, it’s gonna be fine.

Steve stares at his ceiling. He can already feel his skin start to prickle, feel that heat starting at the base of his spine. Eurgh. It’s fucking disgusting. He takes the symptom reliever pills in his bedside cabinet that he’s half convinced are sugar pills for all the good they do and gulps down some water. He doesn’t bother getting under the covers, makes sure the AC remote is in reach, vibrator, plug, check.

He’s expecting the thoughts that start racing around his head to be about tomorrow, nervousness, about Bucky being with other Omegas, of whether he wants him at all, or whether he does, but they could never have a real relationship because this all started on an app and this is Bucky’s job…

Actually, it’s about the lemon cheesecake. He stares hard at his white ceiling with no distinguishing marks. He turns on his side. Turns off the light. Stares into the darkness at what he knows is his red brick wall. As his eyes adjust to the light, he starts to be able to make out the bricks again and he starts to wonder. He knows he misunderstood Bucky’s intentions in school, but was he… was he a complete asshole to Bucky at school?

The thought echoes around his head as the pre-heat sleepiness finally renders him unconscious.

*

Chapter Text

Wednesday

Bucky knocks gently on Steve’s front door, not wanting to wake Steve’s neighbors at this time in the morning. There’s no answer. He checks his phone, frowning, and opens the app on his chat with Steve.

Last seen 10:45pm. Oh. He knocks a tiny bit louder. He blinks as his phone rings and it’s Steve calling him.

“Hello?”

“Buck… I… sorry, it… started… early… I can’t… I can’t quite… get… up…”

Bucky hears a thud on the other end of the phone.

“Oh, shit, Stevie, are you okay?”

“Uh…”

“Okay, stupid question.” He tries the door, it’s locked. “You got a spare key?”

“No, fuck… I… I should have thought of this, it’s… sorry… I…”

“Stevie, um… I can still get in, but is that okay?”

“Huh? Yes?”

“Give me a second.”

Bucky looks back and forth down the corridor. No one. He takes a look at the lock, takes out one of the picks hanging from his belt, and makes short work of Steve’s lock. It swings open easily.

“Buck?”

“Hey, I’m in! I’ll be there one sec.” He puts his duffle bag down on the floor, closes and relocks the door.

He scents it then, so strong it nearly knocks him over. Distressed Omega in heat. He doesn’t recall moving between the hall and Steve’s bedroom, but suddenly he’s right there.

“Bucky,” Steve groans. He’s bent double on the floor in nothing but his briefs, obviously having tried to get up and failed. Oh, Jesus, he’s never seen an Omega in heat react this badly to being alone.

“Hey, hey,” Bucky scoops him up, trying to not lose his shit and go all feral Alpha on Steve when he’s in pain. “I got you.”

He lays Steve on his side and wraps his arms around Steve, nuzzling into his gland. Steve gasps, his head jerking around, clutching desperately at Bucky.

“Hey, it’s okay, I’m here, hey, put your face in my neck, breathe in. Nice and deep, that’s it, that’s it, honey, I got you, Alpha’s here.”

“Bucky,” Steve manages to say, his body relaxing a little as he nuzzles into Bucky’s gland. Bucky relaxes right along with him. He’d been terrified for a second that something else was wrong with Steve he wouldn’t be able to fix.

“Mmm? I’m right here.” Bucky pulls back briefly to take off his top and Steve whines before he realizes what Bucky’s doing and groans, rips off his remaining clothing, then turns and throws himself at Bucky.

Bucky huffs a laugh as Steve knocks the wind out of him.

“Happy to see me, huh?”

“You have… no idea… god…”

Bucky wraps himself around Steve and Steve sighs in relief, then turns, pushing himself up against Bucky, face to face, trying to get all the skin to skin contact he can get.

The distress in Steve’s scent fades rapidly and Steve heaves in a breath.

Then all Bucky can scent is Steve’s aroused heat scent and, Jesus Christ. He’s been lusting after Steve Rogers since he was 16 years old. He used to lay in bed at night, jerking his dick furiously and thinking about what Steve’s heat scent would be like. The reality surpasses everything he ever imagined. It takes all of Bucky’s self-control not to just flip him on his front and fuck him right there. The fact that he can feel Steve’s hard dick up against him isn’t helping.

Stop it, Bucky. You are not a mindless Alpha.

“God,” Steve sighs, nuzzling into Bucky’s neck. Bucky’s thinking he’s about to thank him, when instead Steve says, “This is bullshit.”

“What?” Bucky asks, confused. Leave it to Steve Rogers to keep him guessing.

“You’ve not…” Steve shakes his head, still dazed, slurring a little, “you’re not even fucking me, you’re just holding me, letting me scent you, and I already feel better than I ever have in a heat.”

“And…?” Bucky asks, not quite getting Steve’s meaning, finding it hard to think through his brain that’s rapidly descending into horny Alpha idiocy. He tries desperately to listen and not start rutting his dick up against Steve’s leg.

“And it’s bullshit, Bucky,” Steve mumbles. “Bodies are bullshit. If this happened to Alphas, they’d have fixed it by now.”

Bucky huffs a laugh.

“I’m sure you’re right.” Never disagree with an Omega in heat. “I’m glad you feel a bit better.”

“A bit… you kidding…” Steve licks out at Bucky’s gland again, rubs himself up against Bucky and groans. “God, you feel incredible. You scent even better, god. I think I actually... feel kind of good.”

“Good, god, your scent is just… something else,” Bucky tells Steve, licking his neck.

Steve makes a happy noise and Bucky smiles. He kisses Steve and Steve moans, wrapping his legs around Bucky’s waist, rubbing himself against Bucky’s dick, and Bucky chuckles against Steve’s lips.

“Alright, alright, give me a sec,” he teases, like he’s not dying to throw Steve on his front and bury his dick in him. He almost feels like he’s taking advantage. This had been Bucky’s fantasy for so long and Steve’s only come to him in the first place because he’s desperate. He does know Steve wants him, wants to fuck him, he wasn’t exactly good at hiding it. He could see the Omega flushing every time he flirted with him, every time he gave him one of those smiles. It just felt like a power imbalance somehow, when Bucky’s got something Steve needs so badly, even when they both want it.

“Hey, I’m paying you,” Steve mutters sarcastically, “do your job.”

Bucky laughs.

“Yes, sir, sorry, sir,” he says, winking at him, before flipping Steve onto his front and spreading his legs.

Steve groans.

“Yes, fuck, please, I…” he whines, his voice higher than Bucky’s ever heard it, so desperate.

“It’s okay, it’s okay, baby, I got you.” He tries not to get distracted looking over Steve’s beautiful, lithe body.

“God, Stevie, you’re so fucking gorgeous.” He runs his hands up Steve’s pale calves, soft thighs, groaning as he sees how wet Steve is. He leans down and licks, can’t help it, it scents so good, tastes so good.

“Bucky!” Steve yelps, “god, please, just…”

“I know, I know, sorry,” Bucky says, pulling his face back, pulling Steve’s hips up so he’s in presenting position, and then pushing two fingers inside Steve.

“Oh!” Steve groans, “oh, Buck, yes,” he babbles, and Bucky thinks he’s likely well on the way to that fuzzy delirium state Omegas go into during heat. He’s a little more relaxed than normal, doesn’t take so long to stretch, and Bucky groans, knowing he’s moving towards that moment when he finally fucks Stevie Rogers.

He licks his lips, licking up the slick left there, groaning at the taste.

“Buck, Buck, please,” Steve pants.

“Okay, baby, okay.”

Bucky moves over him and Steve shivers underneath him, hopefully just in anticipation.

“You okay, baby?”

“Bucky!” Steve groans.

“Okay, okay, sorry,” Bucky says. He moves Steve’s legs open more. He wishes he could savor this, but he has a feeling if he doesn’t fuck him soon, Steve’s going to strangle him.

He runs his hands through the slick on Steve’s thighs and coats his dick, lining the head up. He leans over Steve, kissing and licking at his gland as he starts to push in, trying to make sure Steve’s really relaxed, that he’s not going to hurt him. He knows it’s a lot for an Omega’s first time, even if they are already in heat.

“Oh, god,” Steve moans into the pillow. Bucky groans as he feels that exquisite heat sliding around his dick, though he desperately wishes he could see Steve’s face. He runs a hand through Steve’s hair and Steve tilts his head to the side to look at him. Bucky swears. Steve’s lips are parted, cheeks flushed, an expression of pure pleasure on his face.

“Jesus, Steve.”  

“Bucky,” Steve sighs, “fuck.”

“Good?”

“God, yeah, more,” he says, his eyes completely glazed over and mouth agape.

Bucky pushes in, a little at a time, keeping himself on a tight leash, gritting his teeth so he doesn’t just push all the way in.

“Fuck, god, Bucky, Bucky,” Steve moans, clutching at the pillow, staring at him, “more, more.”

Steve is somehow starting to scent even more intoxicating and Bucky curses, pushes, keeps going, until he’s all the way inside Steve. Fuck. He whimpers in Steve’s ear, the feel of it overwhelming him. It’s been such a long time since he fucked someone he cared about, that he knew from more than a few scattered texts, when he wasn’t just providing this as a service. He’d forgotten how different it felt, how overwhelming.

“Please, Buck, please,” Steve begs underneath him and Bucky realizes he’s just lying on top of the Omega and panting, trying to get his breath, trying to focus himself, not to get completely carried away. It’s hopeless, really, and it’s not like he’s not going to be able to get it back up again, not when Steve scents like that.

He starts to move, his eyes rolling back at how good it feels. He tries to keep it slow, to take it easy for Steve, but Steve is having none of it.

“Harder, fuck, please, please, Buck.”

Bucky groans, giving up, letting his inner Alpha take over. He growls in Steve’s ear, holds him still and snaps his hips hard, mounting and taking his Omega just like his body is telling him to.

“Fuck! Fuck!” Steve is yelling bellow him, and Bucky growls back at him, grazing his teeth over Steve’s gland, sucking at the sensitive skin until Steve shrieks.

“Mmm, taste so fucking good, feel so good underneath me, Stevie, you know that?”

Steve just whimpers and moans back at him, incomprehensible words that Bucky can’t make out, and Bucky’s chest rumbles in satisfaction of fucking his Omega silly.

“Come on, come for me, Omega, wanna feel it.”

Steve moans and, just as Bucky was hoping, they’re in sync enough that Steve’s body does exactly as it’s told, coming hard underneath him.

“Oh, god! Oh, god, Bucky!” He yelps underneath him as Bucky fucks him hard, moaning as Steve clamps down on him, as he feels him shake. “Holy fuck,” Steve mutters as he suddenly goes slack and drops on the bed.

“Yeah? Good?” Bucky rumbles in his ear and Steve shudders.

“Yes, fuck, yes.”

“Mmm, gonna knot you now, yeah? Gonna fill you up and make you feel all better.”

“God,” Steve sighs, “yes, please, Buck.”

Bucky starts fucking him again and Steve starts to pant.

“Holy fuck,” he mutters to himself.

Bucky holds Steve’s hips tight, fucking him hard, his eyes rolling back at the pleasure of letting himself go inside the Omega’s body.

“Buck, Buck, Bucky,” Steve babbles and something in Bucky preens in satisfaction. It’s enough to make his knot go. It inflates faster than it has done in a long time, the sensation so sudden that Bucky nearly drops down on top of Steve. He catches himself at the last minute, putting out his forearm on the bed, and then his body takes over, pushing the Omega’s legs apart and pushing forward, stretching him open.

“Oh, oh, god!”

Steve starts to gasp as Bucky pushes his knot in.

“You… you okay?” Bucky pants.

“Uhuh, yeah… just… fuck…” he moans.

“Want me to – ”

“Yes! God.”

Bucky nearly laughs but pushes forward hard until it goes. The largest part is past, and then Steve’s body engulfs him and –

“Oh, fuck,” Bucky groans. Steve’s ass squeezes him tight and he shouts out as he comes, clutching at Steve for dear life as he spills inside him.

Steve’s moaning, twisting underneath him, arching his back and turning his head, and Bucky realizes he’s trying to kiss him. Bucky is more than happy to oblige, kissing him wet and sloppy, but it seems to satisfy Steve as he flops down on the bed, shaking through the rest of his orgasm.

They lay panting on the bed, Bucky bracketing Steve with his forearms, kissing and nuzzling into his neck. Steve keeps shivering and moaning underneath him and it’s the hottest thing Bucky’s ever seen.

“Stevie, you okay?”

“Uhuh,” Steve says, nodding weakly underneath him.

Bucky smiles, affection for him sweeping over the lust that’s fading. He turns Steve onto his side and lies behind him.

“God,” Steve says, blinking and craning his head back around to look at Bucky.

“Good?”

“Stop it,” Steve laughs weakly, “that was incredible and you know it.”

Bucky grins, kissing Steve on the lips.

Steve kisses him back for a few moments before letting his head drop down on the pillow and Bucky does the same, stroking his hand absentmindedly up and down Steve’s thigh.

“How you feeling? You want some water?”

“I’m good for a minute, just wanna...” Steve says, pulling Bucky’s arms around him. “Is that okay?”

“Of course it’s okay, honey, I could cuddle you all day long.” He probably shouldn’t say shit like that to Steve, not when this is technically a contractual arrangement, but, god, it’s too true.

Steve hums happily.

They lie there quietly for a few minutes and Steve gives a disbelieving laugh.

“What?”

“I… I feel amazing,” he says, shaking his head. “That doctor was fucking right. God. Fuck him. Fuck me.”

Bucky can’t help but laugh, Steve’s just so…

“Well, I’m glad.”

“My back… my chest… I… it feels better already.” Steve shakes his head, “fuck’s sake.”

“Well, it didn’t seem like a particular hardship.”

“I guess it was better than most medications I’ve taken,” Steve says, teasing, and Bucky laughs, leaning down to kiss Steve’s gland.

“Well, any time you want it, honey, it’s all yours.”

“Except when…” Steve starts then cuts himself off. “God, shut up, Steve.”

Bucky blinks.

“Except when what?”

“Except when I don’t have an appointment.”

Bucky shrugs.

“You think I wouldn’t jump to pencil you in?”

Steve turns and looks at Bucky again, giving him an unreadable look and shaking his head.

“What?” he asks.

“Nothing,” Steve says and Bucky narrows his eyes. He knows this probably isn’t the time to talk about what made Steve freak out the other night. He has a few theories that he thought about over and over as he left Steve’s apartment feeling like the worst Alpha in the world for leaving an Omega feeling like that. He’d thought it could be his job, him fucking other Omegas, but Steve knew about that from the get-go. It could be that he’s feeling weird about having to use the app in the first place, or their high school history or… god, it could be anything.

“Sorry,” Steve says.

“Hey, don’t worry about it.” He kisses Steve on the head. “I got you.” He squeezes Steve tighter, nuzzling his face into Steve’s gland and making him shiver.

Bucky’s knot goes down and Steve makes a disappointed noise, one that seems entirely involuntary by the way Steve’s eyes widen. Bucky laughs gently in his ear.

“Don’t worry, honey, plenty more where that came from.  You had breakfast?”

Steve shakes his head.

“I’m gonna go get you some breakfast.”

Steve whines and Bucky smiles.

“And you can come with me, of course.”

“Jesus Christ.” Steve shakes his head. “This is mortifying.”

Bucky thinks it’s adorable, but he’s not stupid enough to tell Steve that.

“I promise not to mention it ever again, if it’s any consolation.”

Steve gives him a weak smile. Bucky pulls back and Steve whimpers.

“Hey, just for a sec, need to get you cleaned up, huh?”

“Yeah, I know, I know,” Steve says, shaking his head at himself. Yeah. Bucky gets it, he sees how needing an Alpha in heat is probably the worst thing that could ever happen to Steve Rogers.

He takes the wipes that Steve must have left on his bedside table in preparation and cleans them both up.

“You want this plug in?” Bucky says, seeing the plug Steve’s left next to the wipes.

“Yeah,” Steve says, blushing, “stops… so much mess…” he mutters.

“Mmm, it’s hot, honey, you don’t have to be embarrassed. You want me to do it?”

Steve nods, looking down at the sheets and turning on his front.

Bucky slides his fingers in first and Steve moans helplessly as Bucky’s come and his slick slide out over Bucky’s hand.

“Fuck,” Bucky groans, “fuck.” His Alpha brain is starting to go hazy again. His fingers hook onto Steve’s glands, massaging and making him whimper. Arousal hits Bucky so hard, he’s surprised he doesn’t fall off the bed. Fucking hell. The way this Omega makes him feel, he’s never known anything like it.

He gives up on any idea of making Steve breakfast for now and leans down, licking and sucking, and, god, he knows it’s filthy but he just can’t stop himself.

“Bucky! God, what… oh, fuck.”

“’s just so good Steve, you’re so delicious, I just can’t…” he trails off, puts his face back in-between Steve’s legs, licking and playing with his dick, and Steve’s moaning and whimpering into the sheets and it’s the best thing Bucky’s ever heard.

Then he hears the moaning break down into his name, “Bucky, Bucky,” and he finds himself corrected.

He strokes Steve’s dick, his sweet, lovely dick, and Steve gasps.

“Oh, fuck! Fuck, Buck!”

Bucky slides another finger inside, staring at his three fingers sliding in and out of Steve as he whimpers and shakes on the bed.

“Yeah, fuck, you like that, baby?”

“God, yes, so good,” Steve groans. “Please, please.”

“What, honey? What do you need?”

“Wanna come, god, please.” Steve’s whole body is tensing up as Bucky pumps his fingers in and out of him, as he strokes his dick.

“God, Steve,” Bucky sighs, moving his fingers faster, watching as slick runs down Steve’s pale thighs.

“Fuck, Buck, fuck!” Steve yells as he starts to shake and Bucky fucks him harder, making Steve shriek as he comes.

“You’re so fucking gorgeous, Stevie,” Bucky sighs, licking up the slick, cleaning Steve up, sliding in the plug that’s got a red jewel at the base. He gives a strangled moan at the sight of it inside him, runs his hand over Steve’s ass, runs his thumb over the plug.

“Bucky,” Steve gasps and Bucky stops. Come on, Bucky, you’re supposed to be good at this, a professional. Feed your Omega.

“Sorry, come on, let’s get you something to eat.”

Steve turns over and looks up at Bucky with half-dopey eyes. He’s so adorable. Bucky leans down and kisses him on the lips. He picks Steve up. He knows that’s what he wants after that heartbreaking whimper he let out earlier at the concept of being left, knows he’d never ask for it though. Steve wraps his legs around Bucky’s waist, loops his arms around Bucky’s neck, and rests his head on his shoulder, sighing contently. Bucky tries to stop his heart bursting out of his chest in affection and takes Steve into the kitchen.

“Okay, oh, right, I never put any of this away,” he says, looking down at the duffle bag he left abandoned. “Gonna set you down a sec, okay?”

Steve makes an unimpressed noise but doesn’t actually stop Bucky as he puts him on the kitchen chair and starts packing away the groceries he brought with him.

Steve makes an interested noise when he takes out the cheesecake and Bucky smiles.

“Yeah? Cheesecake for breakfast? Sounds good to me.”

He puts the cheesecake on the side, pours Steve a glass of water, then finishes packing away the groceries.

“Plates?” he asks Steve.

“There,” Steve says, pointing to the cupboard on the right. “Ah, fuck,” he gasps, bending over himself and Bucky frowns, back at his side in a second.

“It’s… it’s alright… cheesecake,” he insists.

Bucky quickly brings it over to the table with the plates and forks. He picks Steve up again and sits him sideways on his lap, pulls Steve’s face into his neck, and Steve breathes in deep, holding Bucky tight and then sighing and relaxing again, all traces of distress gone.

“Seriously, Buck, this is…” Steve shakes his head.

“Bullshit?” Bucky finishes for him and nods. “Yeah, I guess it is. But I’m here now, and I can make you feel better, so, you’d better take advantage of me, huh? Now let me feed you.”

“You don’t have to –”

Steve’s cut off by Bucky holding the fork up to his lips. Bucky sees the shift on his face, in his body, as his inner Omega preens at being fed by his Alpha.

“What the fuck…” Steve mutters to himself, clearly horrified, but he takes the cheesecake off the fork regardless. “Mmm, god, that’s good.”

“Good,” Bucky says happily and keeps feeding Steve, dipping it in the raspberry compote it came with.

“You having some?”

“Too sweet for me,” Bucky says, “I’ll grab a bagel in a sec.”

Bucky feeds him the rest of the cheesecake slice and, just as expected, he suddenly looks very sleepy.

“Hey, you gotta have some water first, hang on.” He gets the glass of water he poured for Steve and puts it to his lips.

“Bucky Barnes…” Steve says, his eyes looking dopey again. “1^st class Omega carer.”

“That’s me,” Bucky says, grinning back at him, “lucky you, drink up.”

Steve does, downing the glass, then almost immediately passes out in Bucky’s lap. There wasn’t actually a whole lot to caring for Omegas in heat, in Bucky’s experience anyway. You fucked them, you fed them, they fell asleep for a bit, they woke up horny again, and the cycle continued. As long as you kept them around in the same room as you, there was nothing to worry about.

He picks Steve up, puts him back on the chair, and quickly dashes back to Steve’s room to grab Steve’s spare comforter and puts it in on the floor of the kitchen. He picks Steve up and puts him down on it. Steve yawns, curls up in it, and passes back out. Bucky pecks a kiss on Steve’s head.

He puts the cheesecake in the fridge and makes himself some coffee and a bagel with cream cheese and ham. He sits at the table and eats it, looking at Steve and wondering if this isn’t actually a huge fucking mistake. Like, it isn’t, it’s the best sex he’s ever had, but Steve makes his heart race, he always has, and it’s not just that. He pulls at his heart, makes warmth pool in Bucky’s stomach, makes him feel affection that Bucky’s never felt for anyone else. And he knows that. He knows he’s always been gone on Steve Rogers and, as sensible as Bucky is trying to be in his recovery since he came back injured, he was never going to pass up this chance, regardless of how much it might fuck him up in the long run.

He wouldn’t be Bucky Barnes if he passed up the opportunity to see how it would feel, even if he might not get to feel it again. Although, from his perspective, he doesn’t think that seems that likely. Steve is clearly having appalling heats, clearly finds him sexually attractive when he’s never managed to feel that way about an Alpha before, and so maybe Bucky’s onto a sure thing, even if it’s maybe not exactly how he would want it. Even if it’s not Steve swooning in his arms at prom and asking him to go steady.

He shakes his head. Grow up, Barnes.

He washes the dishes, dries and puts them away, and Steve doesn’t so much as stir. Bucky feels that affection in his chest again. He picks Steve up in the comforter burrito he has rolled himself into and takes him into the living room. He lays him on the sofa, then takes the armchair himself and puts on the TV, but he’s distracted by that canvas that’s still sitting in the middle of Steve’s art section of his apartment. He walks over to it, looks at it, and allows himself a self-assured smirk. Yeah, maybe he was onto more of a sure thing than he thought. He still can’t believe how sexy Steve’s made him look. Bucky’s not an idiot. He’d have to be deeply ignorant or in denial to not realize he was easy on the eyes given how most Omegas responded to him. But this canvas, the look in his eyes as he’s looking up, smoldering out of the canvas, god.

He shakes his head and goes and sits back in the armchair with his coffee.

*

He’s a couple of episodes of Star Trek down before Steve starts to stir again. He scents it before he notices anything else, Steve’s scent turning aroused and frustrated before it starts getting tinged with desperation. Bucky is unwrapping Steve from his comforter and wrapping his body around Steve on the sofa before he can start making those pained noises he was making when Bucky got there that morning.

“Hey, it’s okay, Stevie, I’m right here.”

Steve’s whole body relaxes. He looks a little more dopey than he did earlier and Bucky can tell he’s definitely more out of it when he doesn’t mutter darkly under his breath and instead pulls Bucky closer.

“Bucky,” he sighs in relief and Bucky holds him so tight. Fuck. That warmth in his chest intensifies and he tries not to think about the emotional whiplash he might be in for after this wears off. He puts the thought aside. This isn’t about him, it’s about Steve.

“You okay, baby? You want some more food? Or you want – ”

Steve groans and grinds his ass back against Bucky.

“Okay,” Bucky chuckles, “okay, I got it.”

He picks Steve up, intending to take him into the bedroom, but Steve twists in his grip, locking his legs around his waist and wiggling his ass down.

“Like this, like this.”

“Okay, Stevie, okay,” Bucky says, grinning at the glare Steve gives him and pulling him down on his dick.

“Fuck,” Steve moans, and Bucky moans right back, lifting Steve up and down on his dick and thanking god for the guys that gave him this metal arm so that he’s strong enough to do this now. Steve’s hands are all over him, grabbing and scrabbling at him desperately as he swears and moans. Then he dives his head into Bucky’s neck, starts sucking and nibbling, and Bucky thinks it’s a damn good job he’s got such a good grip on the Omega or he’d drop him.

“Fuck, Stevie,” Bucky groans. “Watch your teeth, sweetheart,” he says as Steve starts getting a bit too nippy.  Steve grumbles at him, but does as he’s told. Bucky barely resists the urge to grumble back, recalling a time in his teens when all he wanted in life was Steve Roger’s teeth marks in his neck. Focus, Bucky, for godsake.

He wants to watch Steve’s face while he fucks him again, which is probably an entirely unhealthy thing to do, but, fuck it. He carries Steve into the bedroom and lays him down on the bed on his back, kneeling in-between his legs and pulling his legs up on his shoulders.

“Oh!” Steve moans as Bucky pushes back in, staring up at Bucky wide-eyed and adoring. God, Bucky’s not sure if he deserves that look. He fucks him slow this time, drawing out long moans from Steve, his eyes closing and his mouth dropping open in pleasure, and Bucky’s losing himself, losing himself in the pleasure of Steve’s body around his dick and –

“Bucky!” Steve suddenly yells out, grasping for him to come down closer, so Bucky does, leaning down and kissing him and this is way too tender, way too intimate for a service Alpha, but Bucky can’t stop himself, twisting his tongue with Steve’s and living in that second for every moan Steve makes into his mouth.

He moves down to Steve’s neck, but that’s even worse, because every goddamn cell in his body is telling him to mate. He goes to move away and Steve whines, pushing Bucky’s face back on his gland. Bucky dutifully licks and sucks, even gives Steve a few nips for how it makes him squeal and shudder underneath him. Thankfully, he manages to keep his teeth under control. Don’t be an idiot, Bucky.

“God, Bucky, I’m gonna…”

“Fuck, fuck, yeah, honey, I wanna see you, look so good, baby, wanna see you come on my dick.”

Steve yells loud as he comes, locking around Bucky’s dick and sending his knot popping in seconds. Bucky rolls his eyes at the sudden increase in pressure on his dick, his knot, so good.

“Steveee,” he moans, shakes, then comes inside him. Steve looks up at him dopily as he leans over him and starts rolling his still-hard knot inside him and Steve’s eyes go wide.

“What? Can’t have you going unsatisfied. One’s not enough for any ‘mega, let alone in heat.”

“God,” Steve moans, “god, I… fuck, yes, Bucky, kiss me.”

Bucky does, pretty sure he’d do anything Steve told him to right then, kissing him slow and tender, stroking his hair, reveling in Steve’s whimpers, and moaning into Steve’s mouth at how good his body feels locked tight around Bucky’s knot. Steve suddenly gasps, eyes opening wide, and he yells out as he comes. God, the surprised look on his face. Stevie is just…

He nuzzles his head back in Steve’s neck before he says something stupid. He holds him close and Steve wraps his legs around him tight.

“Bucky, Bucky,” he sighs and then Bucky realizes he’s not moaning, he’s starting to sob and Bucky’s head snaps back up to look at him.

“Stevie? Stevie, what’s wrong? Did I hurt you?”

“No, no, amazing, it’s just…” Steve still looks out of it and Bucky frowns, holds him close and strokes his hair.

“What’s wrong, sweetheart?”

“It’s messed up.”

Oh, that again.

“I know it sucks, honey, having to have an Alpha for this every time, but I can be here, it’s really no hardship, we can get you through it.”

Steve shakes his head before Bucky finished his sentence.

“It’s…not, it’s not that,” Steve sighs, shaking his head.

“What is it then, honey?” When Steve doesn’t reply immediately Bucky carries on. “It’s okay, you don’t have to tell me, I’ve got you, all the same.” He squeezes him tight and Steve lets out an even louder sob.

“Why’d you have to be so nice? Why do you have to be so perfect?” Steve sighs in his ear.

Bucky doesn’t reply, at a loss for what’s got Steve feeling like this. Omegas did always get emotional in their heats, a bit hysterical, and it could be that it’s barely anything at all, but Bucky remembers a similar expression on Steve’s face before he asked him to leave yesterday.

“I just…” Steve lets out another little sob and Bucky holds him tighter. “I keep feeling like it’s real, like it’s special, and it’s not, is it?”

Oh, fuck. It hits Bucky like a gut punch. He pauses, trying to think of how to respond for the best, but Steve starts sobbing harder, like he knew he was right all along.

“Steve, Stevie, stop, don’t cry, honey, you’re breaking my heart here. Listen to me, hey?” he tilts Steve’s head up by his chin and meets his glassy eyes. The devastated look on his face makes Bucky’s heart hurt. “Like it’s real, what do you mean?” he wants to clarify before he pours his heart out and potentially makes a terrible mistake.

“This, the way you make me feel, when you fuck me like that, the way you hold me, the way you look at me like this could be something, but it’s not something, it’s just something to fix my heat and I’m just another client and you probably don’t even want me and –”

Bucky doesn’t manage to hold back the laugh that’s trying to burst from his chest.

“Don’t want you? Come on, Steve, don’t start with that shit again.”

Steve looks confused for a second before he sighs and rolls his eyes and Bucky knows they shouldn’t even be having this conversation right now. God knows how much of it Steve’s even going to remember once he’s out of his heat.

“No, I know you’re sexually attracted to me, I know that, it’s just I keep feeling like…”

“You’re falling for me?”

Steve closes his eyes and gulps, nods.

“Sorry, I’m sorry, I’m ruining everything and –”

Bucky cuts him off with a kiss.

“Shh. You’re not ruining everything.”

“But you just treat all your Omegas like this, you have to, it’s your job, and it’s probably fine for you, but I’ve never felt like this and –”

Bucky kisses him again, longer this time, firm. Bucky thinks he might as well put his cards on the table, since Steve’s poured his heart out and all.

Before Bucky can speak, Steve touches his lips. “Oh,” he sighs, then promptly closes his eyes and falls asleep.

Bucky gives a small laugh and rolls his eyes. Of course. He shakes his head, flips them both so he’s on his back, and strokes the back of Steve’s head absentmindedly.

Steve starts purring softly and Bucky’s chest feels ready to explode. Bucky swears under his breath, wondering what the fuck he’s got himself into.

*

Steve wakes again around lunch time, his head suddenly jerking from where Bucky had put him back on the couch and looking around for him. Bucky can’t cope with how affectionate that makes him feel, how he’s such a good Alpha looking after his Omega and, god. Fuck. This is not going to end well. But he reminds himself this isn’t about him, it’s about Steve. He fucks him over the side of the sofa this time, drowning in Steve’s scent, his moans, the way his soft skin feels under Bucky’s hands, his gorgeous body.

“Bucky, Bucky, Bucky, please!”

“Mmm,” Bucky moans, feeling drunk on it, on Steve’s satisfaction, the pleasure of him around his dick, the around his knot as he gives Steve what he wants. “Mmm, god, feel so good, Steve.”

“Bucky.”

Thankfully Steve doesn’t start crying this time, just smiles at Bucky, dopey and like he’s in love, and Bucky thinks, actually, that might be worse. Then Steve squints at him, puts his hand out to cup his face and hums.

“I don’t think I got the color of your eyes quite right, in the canvas… I think I need to buy some more paints,” Steve says.

Bucky doesn’t know what to say to that, fighting the emotions that are threatening to bubble up in his chest. He decides not to say anything, just smiles at Steve, feeds him a bagel and some fruit, pets his hair, and Steve passes right back out.

*

The next time Steve wakes, it’s already dark outside and Bucky is making serious progress through his series. His dick has been hard as hell for the last hour, but Bucky wasn’t gonna go and waste that jerking off when he knows it’s only a matter of time before his Omega wakes up and needs him.

He goes to fuck him on the couch again, but Steve shakes his head.

“On my back,” he manages to say. He looks like he’s going non-verbal and, god. Bucky has no idea how he survived so many heats without an Alpha with the way he’s getting.

He takes Steve down onto the floor, puts some cushions underneath his head and his hips and pushes back inside him and, oh, god, the way Steve looks at him when Bucky fucks him. Mother of god. Bucky’s heart flips.

“So… good… so… good…” Steve moans, his head tilted back, neck exposed and, god, Bucky can almost imagine how it would feel to sink his teeth into him there.

“Please, please,” Steve begs, scrabbling at Bucky, trying to pull him down on top of him. Bucky goes easy, holding Steve down with his weight, kissing and licking at his neck until Steve sounds delirious, babbling nonsensically at him as his body clamps down on Bucky’s knot.

“Fuck, fuck, yes, Stevie, feels so good.”

“I’m sorry,” Steve blurts out.

“Huh?” Bucky blinks at him, uncomprehending, still high from his orgasm.

“I’m sorry I was an asshole to you at prom. At school.”

Bucky laughs.

“Stevie, don’t worry about it…” he gets his head together a bit. “I got over that a long time ago.”

“I’m still sorry,” Steve says, then promptly passes back out.

*

Bucky makes them oven pizzas and fries, waking Steve up to eat them. Steve is utterly grumpy at being woken up, but, as Bucky tells him, he cannot go through a day of his heat only eating a slice of cheesecake and a bagel.

Once Bucky pulls him into his lap and starts feeding him, he becomes a lot more agreeable. Even starts to come around a bit more.

*

Bucky takes them to bed around 10. He does sleep when he’s on heat service, the scent of an Omega needing an Alpha more than enough to wake him up, if needed. It’s surprisingly easy to fall asleep surrounded by the Omega’s scent, his soft sheets, his soft delicate body pushed up against his own.

*

Thursday

Steve wakes only once in the night, at 3am, gasping and curling in on himself in pain.

“Hey, hey, I got you,” Bucky mumbles sleepily, taking the plug out of Steve’s ass. Steve’s curled up on his side next to him and Bucky doesn’t bother trying to move him, just holds him tight and slides his dick inside.

“Oh,” Steve sighs, instantly relaxing, “Bucky.”

“Yeah, I’m here, baby.”

He kisses Steve all over his neck, over his gland, strokes his hand up and down his side, his thigh. Steve sighs happily and moans as Bucky fucks him slowly in the dark.

*

Steve is a little more with it the next morning, in as much as he manages to demand being fucked against the wall and for Bucky to feed him cheesecake.

“In which order, darling?”

Steve rolls his eyes at him dramatically.

“Dick first, then cheesecake.”

“Yes, your majesty,” Bucky grins at him, picking him up easily and pushing him up against the wall.

“God, yes,” Steve sighs as Bucky buries his dick in him again. Bucky can’t believe he’s actually being paid for this.

Afterwards, he negotiates a heat smoothie down Steve as well as the cheesecake.

*

“Bucky, god, fuck! Feels so fucking good,” Steve moans as Bucky starts fucking him against the shower wall.

Steve had been feeling a bit more clear-headed, so Bucky thought his heat might be fading, maybe time to get Steve cleaned up a bit, when he’d gone into a heat spike right in the shower. It had taken Bucky by surprise, Steve’s scent hitting him like a truck and tapping right into his base instincts, taking Steve right up against the wall and, Jesus, Steve’s moans sound so good, Bucky’s not sure he’s ever going to fully recover from helping him through this heat. He makes Bucky feel feral, especially when the spikes take him by surprise, and he can barely control himself as he fucks Steve, takes him, claims him, just like his body is telling him to. Not that Steve seems to have any complaints.

“Fuck, Bucky, yes!”

Bucky does something utterly stupid and knots Steve right there in the shower. Bucky curses himself, a professional heat Alpha should really know better.

Steve huffs a laugh as he realizes the position they’ve ended up in. Bucky knows he’s definitely coming out the other side of his heat when he doesn’t immediately fall asleep.

“Sorry,” Bucky says, shaking his head, “um, why don’t I sit down and…”

Steve laughs more as Bucky slowly lowers them to the ground and sits down awkwardly in the shower tray. Steve tilts his head back, looking at Bucky with those goo-goo eyes, and kisses him, and god help him, but Bucky kisses him back, long and slow, telling himself it’s just Steve he’s indulging.

“Mmm,” Steve sighs, then frowns a little, “what day is it?”

“It’s Thursday,” Bucky says, kissing him again.

“Really?” Steve asks, frowning.

“Why?” Bucky asks, absentmindedly petting Steve’s hair. Steve gives him a small smile. “What?”

“I’m not a cat, Bucky.”

“You were purring like one earlier.”

Steve flushes and shakes his head.

“I feel like it’s fading faster than usual, like it’s going already and it’s not even lunch time.”

“Yeah, I thought so, too. I think I heard it can be shorter when you spend it with an Alpha.”

Steve shakes his head.

“Bullshit?” Bucky asks.

“Bullshit,” Steve agrees.

They kiss lazily until Bucky’s knot goes down enough that they can move. Steve cleans up again quickly before Bucky wraps him in a towel and dries him and Steve gives him the smallest purr.

“What would you like for lunch?”

Steve looks like he’s thinking hard before announcing: “Chinese.”

“Perfect.”

They eat it snuggled up together on the sofa and Bucky can tell Steve really is seeming better as he starts getting that half-troubled look on his face that he got before.

“Hey, it’s okay,” Bucky soothes him.

Steve gives him a smile that doesn’t quite meet his eyes as they eat their noodles. He wonders exactly how much Steve remembers of it, the sex, but also the brief discussion they had before Steve passed out again.

He gets a little sleepy again after lunch and Bucky convinces him to take another nap while he clears up the Chinese. He takes a chance of leaving to go the kitchen to clean up and thankfully Steve doesn’t stir. He comes back and Steve’s still out cold.

He wakes up around 3 and, while Bucky’s fairly sure he’s barely even in heat anymore, he still makes sure he’s wrapped around him, and Steve sighs happily as he wakes up in Bucky’s arms.

“How you feeling, honey?”

“Mmm, okay, I think. I think it’s nearly gone.”

Bucky nods. Steve turns to face him, kissing Bucky, and Bucky slides his hands all over him, savoring Steve in what he thinks might be the last time for a while before Steve really comes out of his heat and realizes how sore he actually is from Bucky fucking him senseless. One of Steve’s hands grips his hair as Bucky slides out the plug.

“Ah!” he gasps, “yes, Buck, please.”

Bucky shudders, moving Steve onto his back and lifting up his legs, pushing inside him, his eyes rolling back in his head, the pleasure of it still somehow surprising him.

“God, Stevie.”

He tries to stay slow, sure Steve’s got to be getting sore by now, but Steve whines.

“Bucky, harder, come on, don’t tease me.”

“I wasn’t…” Bucky gives up at the look Steve’s giving him and fucks him hard.

“Yes! Fuck, yes, Buck!”

Bucky shudders, fucks Steve until he comes hard, yelling and scratching his nails down Bucky’s back. Bucky knots him, coming inside him with a grunt, licking at Steve’s gland and wishing he could just sink in his teeth.

“Fuck, fuck,” Steve gasps as Bucky grinds his knot inside him.

“Mmm, yeah, one more, honey?” Bucky says in his ear and Steve shudders underneath him, gives the smallest whimper that goes straight to Bucky’s dick. He rocks his knot inside Steve, moves his metal hand in between them to play with his dick and Steve gasps, eyes flying open and staring at Bucky.

“Yeah?”

Steve looks like he’s trying to talk, but fails and nods enthusiastically instead. Bucky grins, rocking his knot inside Steve, playing with his dick until Steve suddenly throws back his head and yells. God, yes.

“You’re so fucking hot when you come, Steve.”

Steve pants his breath back and gives a small laugh.

“Just not the rest of the time?”

Bucky laughs.

“Wow, you are feeling better.”

“Yeah, god. Bucky, this is ridiculous.”

“What?”

“I… I feel great,” Steve admits.

Bucky grins.

“Good. Me, too, though I feel like my dick could use a rest.”

“I thought you’d be used to it,” Steve says, then looks like he instantly regrets it.

Bucky laughs.

“It’s okay, Steve, you can talk about my job. And I am, but even an Alpha’s gotta rest.” He winks at Steve but he has a feeling Steve’s freaking himself out again.

They put on another movie, and by the end Bucky can feel Steve’s scent has fully shifted, no longer in heat at all, and he can feel the anxiety from before building.

“Do you want some space?” Bucky asks him.

Steve looks like that question is particularly difficult.

“I…” he frowns.

“Do you want to talk about it?”

Steve looks even more pained.

“It’s okay if you don’t, hey, this was a lot, right? Losing your virginity and spending your first heat with an Alpha? Especially as you weren’t sure about it. Why don’t I give you some space to think, and you can give me a call later?”

Steve clutches at his arm with one hand even while he’s nodding an agreement.

“Hey, look, I’m 15 minutes away, right? If you want me to come back, I can.”

“That’s silly, I… my heat’s finished and I’m sure you have stuff to do. I can’t just have you waiting around for me to stop being crazy.”

“Waiting around?” Bucky grins at him. “I blocked my diary, remember, we thought this was gonna last another day at least. And you’re not being crazy, it’s a lot to process.”

“Okay, if you’re sure,” Steve says.

Bucky kisses him again.

“I’m sure. You’ve got my number, anyway.”

“I don’t, actually.”

“Huh?”

“I don’t have your number, I was just messaging you through the app.”

“Oh!” Bucky says, “well, give me your phone and I’ll put it in.”

Steve gives Bucky a look he can’t read, but he hands over his phone anyway and Bucky puts in his number.

“Call me,” he says and winks at Steve.

Steve rolls his eyes and Bucky laughs.

“Bucky Barnes, never could resist charming Omegas.”

“You’re right, you are very charming.”

“Eurgh,” Steve groans and hits him on the arm. “Get out of my apartment.”

“Yes, sir.” Bucky grins at him. “Let me get dressed and get my stuff together and I’ll get out of your hair.”

Steve leaves him to it as Bucky goes about collecting his things. When he gets to the front door, Steve’s leaning against it. He’s pulled on a pair of pajama pants.

“Bucky…”

“Yeah?”

“Thank you. I…” He pauses, closes his eyes, and then lets the words spill out of his mouth, “it was incredible, it was so much better than my normal heats, and the sex was… amazing.”

Bucky grins.

“The pleasure was all mine.” He leans in, crowding Steve against the wall. He cups Steve’s face with his hand, then leans down to kiss him, long and slow and entirely selfish, because Bucky needs Steve to call him later. “Bye, Stevie,” he says, leaning back and smiling at the dazed look on Steve’s face, “call me.” He leaves and shuts the door before Steve’s had time to reply.

*

Steve stares at the closed door. Fuck. Fucking hell. He slides down the wall that Bucky had pushed him up against. Stares at the opposite wall. Tries to process, even the slightest amount, everything that’s happened since Bucky arrived. God. The Alpha just had no fucking right being so sexy, being incredible in bed, having such an amazing dick, and – Steve’s mouth starts to water. Stop it, Steve.

He was so fucking sore. Even if Bucky was still here, he absolutely would not be able to have sex again. He closes his eyes, trying to take stock of how he’s feeling. He feels good. Really fucking good. He doesn’t think he’s ever felt more satisfied: his breathing feels easier, his back doesn’t hurt, and Steve shakes his head at that. Ridiculous. Omega bodies were ridiculous.

He is decidedly sore other places, though, and that anxious dread is in his stomach again, the one that tells him this was a terrible mistake, an awful thing to do with someone who wasn’t actually his.

His phone pings. It’s the app, but it’s not a message from Bucky, it’s a message from the app asking him to review Bucky as a heat companion, asking for a five-star rating. Steve gives a laugh that’s a bit too bitter for his liking but clicks the five-star option because really, there is no question about Bucky’s prowess.

He shakes his head. He can’t deal with this right now. He gets up and goes to run a bath.

*

He wants to ring Bucky that night, but his brain still won’t straighten itself out, so he texts him instead.

Steve: Hey, Bucky. Thank you for everything, with my heat. I think I need to get some sleep before we chat, is that okay?

Bucky: Of course it is, honey. Sweet dreams xxx

Steve’s heart swoops and he groans into his pillow.

*

Friday

It’s past 11am by the time he picks up his phone. He needs to talk to Bucky.

His body, his heart, as embarrassing as it is, is yearning for him. It doesn’t help that his scent is all over his damn apartment. It’s everywhere, his bed, his couch, his kitchen. It’s comforting and wonderful and awful, all at the same time. He doesn’t think he can do this, doesn’t think he can go about this arrangement pretending it’s all casual sex when that’s not how he feels at all. He starts thinking maybe it would be better to suffer through his heat alone than have his heart yanked around like this.

He doesn’t remember a great deal about his heat, nothing specific, anyway. He remembers Bucky, he remembers him always being right there, every time it hurt, soothing him and making it all better. He remembers Bucky caring for him, his hands all over him, in his hair. He remembers him fucking him, remembers his dick, nothing specific about where or how, just remembers being fucked so good, it finally sated that heat-itch. He remembers some filthy talk in his ear.

Steve stares at his phone that he hasn’t actually used to call Bucky yet, but getting it out was a step, right?

Most of all, he remembers that look in Bucky’s eyes. The way he’d fucked him, moaning in his ear, his hands all over him, the way he’d gasped for breath like it had taken him by surprise, the way he’d growled in his ear sometimes, dug his fingers into Steve’s hips. He remembers Bucky’s teeth on his neck, nipping, and, oh, shit, he remembers wanting Bucky to bite him. Fucking hell.

He shivers.

He’s sure he can’t have imagined the way Bucky looked at him, the way he fucked him like he really wanted him, but who knew if that was just something they were taught to do? A technique for calming Omegas in heat, making sure they were fully satisfied.

God. He can’t. He can’t do this. He needs to talk to Bucky. He gives up trying to think of the perfect thing to say, the perfect question to ask, and dials Bucky’s number.

Bucky picks it up on the second ring.

“Hey, Stevie.”

“Hey, Buck,” Steve says. “How’s it going?”

Bucky gives an appreciative laugh.

“Yeah, feeling pretty good, Stevie, not gonna lie.”

“Oh yeah?”

“Well, I did just spend the past two days fucking your gorgeous ass, so, yeah, feeling pretty good.”

Steve bites his lip. Bucky was just such a damn flirt. Always had been.

“How you feeling?”

“I’m a little… sore,” Steve admits with an embarrassed laugh.

“Aw, I’m sorry, honey.”

“Don’t be. My back doesn’t hurt. That’s basically a first.”

“Oh, that’s amazing.”

“Yeah, I’m actually feeling pretty good.”

“Alpha spunk, huh, who knew?”

“My doctor, but I have no intention of telling him he was correct.”

Bucky laughs and Steve’s heart feels warm.

“Bucky…” he says, then sighs.

“You want me to come over? Or you wanna do this on the phone?” Bucky asks.

Steve panics.

“Do what?” A voice inside Steve’s head screeches that Bucky is breaking up with him, which is ridiculous because they’re not dating. And because Steve was thinking of telling Bucky that he doesn’t think he can do this.

“You know, chat. I was gonna take you out for breakfast. There’s a pancake place around the corner from you I really like.”

Steve’s actually feeling like it might be better on the phone, but if he is actually going to tell Bucky how he feels and what he’s freaking out about, he should probably at least have the decency to do it to his face.

“Uh, yeah, sure. I’ll… I can put on some pants and be there in ten?”

“Perfect.”

Bucky messages him the address and Steve pulls on jeans and a hoodie. He thinks about trying to maybe look a little nicer, but he’s one day out of his heat, and he’s sure Bucky doesn’t care anyway.

The pancake house is cute, Steve’s been there before with Natasha. He gets there and Bucky’s leaning on the counter, laughing with one of the Omegas behind there, and Steve can’t help his stare. Bucky’s wearing tight black jeans and a leather jacket, looking like sex on legs, and really, who could blame any Omega for wanting some of that?

“Hey, Buck,” he says in what he hopes is a normal voice, and Bucky turns to him with an easy smile.

“Hey, baby,” he turns, puts his hand on Steve’s waist, and kisses him on the cheek. Steve’s heart flips and he barely resists the urge to scream in his face and run out of the place. He notices at least that the Omega behind the counter backs off. Get a grip, Steve. “I got us a booth over here.”

Steve follows him to the back of the restaurant. He slides in the seat opposite Bucky and absentmindedly orders something when the waitress comes cover. He has no idea what it is; he’s panicking too much.

“Stevie,” Bucky says in that stupid soothing voice that works way too well on him. “It’s okay, I think I know what this is about.”

Steve blinks. This wasn’t how the conversation went when he rehearsed it in his head.

“You do?”

“Yeah.” Bucky laughs gently. “You... you may have already started to tell me, you just don’t remember it.”

The blood drains from Steve’s face as he realizes he can’t recall any conversation that he and Bucky had had during his heat.

“Oh, god, what did I say?”

“Nothing awful, don’t worry. And it wasn’t anything I wasn’t expecting anyway,” Bucky says.

The waitress brings over their drinks and Steve clutches his, despite it being freezing cold, needing something to hold on to.

“What did I say?” Steve asks.

“You said you were worried that you were falling for me, and that you felt like this was real but it wasn’t, and that I did it with all the Omegas I work for, and you were worried you were going to end up getting hurt.”

Well. Steve’s face is now flushed red, but at least he doesn’t have to say it.

“Oh, yeah. And… what did you say?”

 "Well, that was about when you passed out."

“Oh,” Steve says, then laughs a little and closes his eyes, “sorry.”

 “Oh, and another time you apologized for being an asshole to me at prom.” He says the last one with a grin.

Steve closes his eyes, wincing.

“I am sorry about that, though.”

“I know. It’s okay.”

Steve keeps trying to think of something to say but his mouth feels dry and the words keep sticking in his mouth.

Luckily, Bucky saves him.

"Steve, would you wanna go out with me sometime? On a date. Just you and me, without the app in the middle."

Steve’s eyes shoot up.

“Is that allowed? And would, like… would you like to do that? I mean, you’d lose money and –”

Bucky raises a challenging eyebrow at him and Steve shuts his mouth.

“Steve. Stop it. I’m not poor.  And even if I was, I... I think I've been messing this up and if we take it off the app, I think it’ll make things less confusing. For both of us.”

Steve frowns, "What do you mean?"

“You need to know that I've been... blurring the lines of what I want with how I should be treating you as a client.  The thing you gotta understand is that my job is nothing like this,” Bucky says, gesturing between them. “I don’t feel anything for these people, it’s just fucking, really, nothing else.” 

“But you… you took me on a date.” 

“Yeah, and it felt like a date, right?”

“Yeah,” Steve says when he thinks about it. 

“It doesn’t usually feel like that. It’s usually just for them to meet me, check I’m not a psycho, make sure they still wanna fuck me, that kind of thing. It doesn’t usually last very long.” 

“Oh.”

"Normally, it's very transactional, y'know, it's a job. I mean, I enjoy it, but it's not the same as this. I don’t know that they love lemon cheesecake. I don't get lost in their eyes. It's not real. Not like with you."

“Oh.”

“Yeah.  Think about it.”

Steve looks up at him and smiles.

“I am thinking about it.”

Bucky grins, giddy, and Steve can’t believe this is going so well.

“Okay,” Steve says eventually, “but… what about…”

Bucky looks at him patiently, and Steve gets the feeling he’s being a real idiot.

“It’s okay,” Bucky strokes his thumb down Steve’s palm and it makes him shiver. “What about my job, right?”

Steve looks down at his drink.

“Uh… yeah.”

“Well, I don’t have any intention of quitting it, so I guess that’s really up to you.”

Steve nods. That seems fair, at least. There’s a million things he wants to say, all of which he’s sure are exactly the wrong thing to say.

“I mean, I guess you must think it’s okay for Alphas to be sex workers,” Bucky says.

Steve splutters, completely wrong footed.

“What? Of course I do.”

“You think they should be allowed to date?” He grins at him and Steve can tell he’s just winding him up.

“Ugh, fuck you, Barnes,” Steve says rolling his eyes.

Bucky laughs.

“Just do a little non-profit work on the side sometimes, that’s all.”

“You know, I’m reconsidering. I’m getting the urge to throw my drink in your face rather than date you.”

“I’m joking, honestly, a lot of Omegas probably wouldn’t be okay with it.”

“Really? Cos I’m feeling about the worst one in the world right now.”

“Don’t, I’m kidding.” Bucky hooks his foot around Steve’s under the table. “Most Omegas would have started asking about why I can’t do some other job, or maybe someone like you would have told me that I should quite and that they could just support me.”

Steve pulls a face. At least that last one hadn’t occurred to him. The first one had, before he’d realized that was a terrible thing to say. He can hear Nat in the back of his head chastising him already.

“No, that’s gross.”

Their pancakes come out and Steve sits and eats the banana and toffee pancake he apparently ordered for himself while Bucky starts making short work of the bacon one he ordered. He tries to think about it.

There’s a voice in his head telling him that this is weird, and wrong, and not the right way to have a relationship, but it’s the same voice that told him he was wrong for needing to use an app and, really, he knows that’s bullshit. And he looks at Bucky, thinks about the way he looked at him when he was fucking him, like it really did mean something, and it did. It clearly did. He’s not an idiot, he sees the way Bucky looks at him any time, not just when they were fucking.

Bucky looks up at him over their pancakes and smiles nervously, "So, Stevie, whaddaya say?  Can I take you out sometime?  Cos the thing is, Stevie, I know this is way too much, but I’m just gonna say it, I’ve always thought you were gorgeous, and smart, and funny, and I actually thought about not hooking up with you, even if it was only for a second. Because… I think I knew this was gonna happen. I knew this was gonna turn into something more, I knew you probably wouldn’t want that from me when I do this for a living, but I just, I just didn’t care because –”

And Steve can’t take it, he can’t take Bucky spilling his heart out to him, talking like Steve’s about to break things off, when Steve’s wondering if there’s anything he wouldn’t try, really, all things considered, to try to make this work. For Bucky Barnes to be his boyfriend.

“Bucky…”

“And maybe if things ever got really serious,” Bucky says, his words spilling out in not at all his usual controlled manner. “And we wanted to, and I’m not saying we would, but you can’t really be a Service Alpha with a bite and –”

Steve leans across the table, grabbing Bucky by the collar and pulling him down towards him, kissing him on the lips.

Bucky stares at him, wide-eyed, then he laughs and kisses Steve back for a second before Steve pulls back and sits down.

“You’ve got toffee on your hoodie,” Bucky tells him.

“I don’t care.”

“So, was that a yes?”

“Buck, look. I… I’m willing to try it. I’ll just… delete this stupid app and we can see how it goes. I’m not promising anything, I… I have no idea how I’m going to feel when I know you’re seeing other Omegas but I… I’m willing to give it a shot.”

Bucky beams at him.

“You gave me five stars already, right, before you delete it?” he asks him with that stupid grin on his face that always drove Steve crazy at school.

Steve rolls his eyes.

“Do you want toffee sauce all over your face?”

“Why, do you want to lick it off? I got somewhere else you can lick it off, too.”

“Bucky!” Steve tries not to shriek at him, looking over his shoulder to check no one’s in earshot.

Bucky laughs.

“So where did you want me to take you on our first proper date, Rogers?” Bucky asks with a grin.

“Hmm,” Steve considers, “where did you always wanna take me when we were at school?”

Bucky laughs.

“My bedroom?”

“You’re hopeless at this. Actually. I’ve been invited to the opening of an exhibition on Friday night… why don’t you take me there?”

“Sounds perfect, do I have to wear a suit?”

“Yes,” Steve says, already salivating over the thought of Bucky in a suit. “If you wear a really nice one, then maybe you can take me back to your bedroom after.”

Bucky laughs.

“Noted,” he grins at Steve. “It’s a date.”

*