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Chapter Text

The boys had known each other since they were kids. Dylan had loved Jun for so long that he couldn't even point when it started. He only remembers feeling his heart skip a beat when he got close to Jun, remembering every detail of the boy, his likes and dislikes, the sound of his laugh, and how handsome he looked in glasses.

The problem? Three months ago, at a party hosted by a friend, Jun kissed Dylan. Both boys were a little drunk, but still sober enough to know what they were doing. And it would have been fine if it had ended there, two drunk friends kissing. But for two weeks, Jun acted like Dylan was his entire world. They hung out, went to each other's houses, kissed until they were breathless, told each other they loved each other, and even slept together. They didn't talk about it, the moments happened so naturally that they felt they didn't need words.

But as always, something went wrong in Dylan's life. Jun simply disappeared, distanced himself, and stopped responding to messages for a month.

But a month later, he returned as if nothing had happened. Dylan was in the library when he felt someone sitting next to him. When he looked up, he saw it was Jun. His heart skipped a beat. One day, they were sharing a bed, their legs intertwined, and then Jun disappeared from each other's lives for a month. He didn't know how to act around his "friend." The most striking thing was Jun acting as if nothing had happened, striking up a casual conversation, treating Dylan like he had before, before that party, before they kissed, as if they were just friends and nothing more.

And that continued to this day. His group of friends, Jun, Thame, Po, Pepper, and Nano, were sitting together at a table outside a cafe when Jun interrupted their conversation.

– Po... – Jun said, a little unsure.

– Um, what, Jun? – Po replied, he'd never seen his friend like that. Jun took a moment to speak, as if in doubt.

– Can you give me the number of that friend of yours? Baifern?

– Huh? Are you serious? – Po said incredulously. Fern, his friend, had already asked Po to try to convince Jun to go out on a date with her, the girl was obsessed with him, but Jun always denied it with some lame excuse.

– Yeah... yeah, I just... changed my mind. – Dylan didn't even hear his friends teasing the other boy. His world went silent, his head repeating Jun's words as he felt his heart shatter into a thousand pieces.

After half an hour, the group dispersed, everyone had their own agenda. Dylan went home with Jun's words still ringing in his head. He didn't even remember going home. When he realized it, he was already sitting in his chair, notebook and pencil in hand, scribbling some sketches.

"Did you enjoy playing with me like a toy? Just to say you like a girl. Well, what the fuck?"

Chapter Text

Another three months passed. Jun and Fern were officially dating, and with that, Fern was spending more time with the group. Dylan couldn't stand it. He adored Fern, thought she was amazing, but he couldn't stop feeling jealous of her for having Jun by her side. He couldn't stand seeing them holding hands, being clingy in public, but he always remained silent. He never dared try to talk to Jun. After all, his best friend was happy, he wouldn't be selfish like that.

And once again they were at a party, this time at Thame's house. Dylan hadn't seen Jun in a while. He figured they must be with their girlfriend somewhere in the house, which made him sick, but he saw the girl talking to Po.

– Um... excuse me – Dylan said as he approached Fern and Po.

– Have you seen Jun? Do you know where he is?

– No... I haven't seen him in a while – Po replied, and they both looked at Baifern, waiting for an answer.

– He drank too much and was acting a little strange, so I thought it best to let him rest a bit in Thame's room upstairs – the girl said.

– Oh okay, thank you. – Dylan couldn't even hear what the girl said to him, but he didn't care; he needed to see Jun. When he opened Thame's bedroom door, he found Jun sitting on the bed, his eyes watering.

– Jun... what happened? – Dylan asked worriedly as he approached his friend.

– Dyl...– the other replied in a sob.

– It's okay, I'm here – the silver-haired boy said as he hugged the other.

The only sound coming from the room was Jun's crying, which calmed down after a few minutes. Silence filled the room, the boys sat with their backs against the headboard, with Dylan hugging Jun, who had his head resting on the other's shoulder.

– You know...– Jun was the one who broke the silence. –im dating Fern... an incredible girl, I have you guys... I, everything is as it should be, but still... it just doesn't feel right, I just... I don't feel as happy as I should, not like I did... when...– Jun stopped and turned his gaze to Dylan, analyzing the boy's every feature. –Dyl...– he said as he approached his friend.

–Jun...– Dylan said, his voice breaking, pulling away from the other.

– Dyl...– Jun said as he placed his hands on the silver-haired man's face, alternating his gaze between his eyes and his mouth.

– No... Jun, you can't do this – Dylan said as he walked away – You better lie down, you're drunk... I'll call Thame to stay with you.

– Okay... sorry – was the only thing Jun said as he leaned back against the headboard, avoiding looking at the other.

When Dylan left the room, he realized he'd let out a sigh he hadn't even realized he'd been holding. He breathed and breathed for a few seconds, trying to stay calm. When he felt better, he called Thame to stay with Jun and decided it was best to go home.

When the boy got home, he went straight to his room and lay down. He should have been angry at Jun, ever since everything happened, ever since they kissed and Jun disappeared for a month and came back as if nothing had happened. But Dylan couldn't feel a shred of anger toward his friend. In fact, it was quite the opposite. He remembered what Jun had said to him, and his heart sank. Jun was confused. Maybe he didn't really like Baifern, maybe... just maybe Dylan still had a chance.

"So I'll love you from afar
Till you know who you are
Write to you in the dark
Where you'll live forever
I'll still look in your eyes
Maybe not in real-life
But at least in my mind
Maybe one day around"