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Dear Aerith,
It’s been over two years since I had lost you. When we lost you. Yet, the wound feels so fresh, still. I’m not sure when or if it’ll ever heal.
I regret not being fast enough to save you. I regret not blocking the blow, I just let you die like that. I guess I’m just not really fit to save anyone, huh? For a bodyguard, I sure was the shittiest one. I’m so sorry, Aerith. I failed you.
When Meteor was repelled by Holy, you should’ve been there with us. You should’ve stood alongside us all, smiling brightly and celebrating. The party Tifa threw once the new Seventh Heaven opened was a blast. I’m sure you would’ve loved it, even if I probably had to carry you to bed by the end of it.
I remember when we first met. After that reactor bombing. I remember how strange you were, selling flowers while people all around panicked. As you placed the yellow lily on my chest, you took a step back and smiled. Something inside me warmed, at the time I was a stubborn ass, so I pushed it down. The flower was a worthy purchase, especially seeing your smile.
Oh, your smile… How you used to smile and laugh, despite it all. Bright as the flowers you cherished. I would do anything to hear your laugh, just one last time. I’m starting to forget what it sounded like…
I’ll be honest. Whenever I see flowers, or a meadow, I think of you. And I swear, I see you standing there. Yet when I blink, it’s like you vanished into thin air. I see the color pink, the color yellow, and all I can think is “Aerith.” I often wonder what you’d think of some of the new shopping areas that have opened up.
This is so cruel…. All these events, places, activities you could’ve enjoyed.
That’s not even half of it. Aerith, I realized something. Are you listening?
I was too dumb and naive, unaware to even realize it. At least, not until you were ripped away from me. Now, I can finally say it. I love you. I love you so much. And I’m so, so sorry it took me until now, when you’re long gone.
I think I understand now. I understand what you told me at the Gold Saucer. “But you’re not him, and that’s okay.” I reminded you of Zack, didn’t I? Yet…you fell in love with me. Cloud Strife. And you wanted to meet the “real me.” Here I am, Aerith. Me. Cloud Strife. I’m not a SOLDIER. I know that now. You probably know that too, huh? It was you who made sure Tifa and I were safe when we fell into the Lifestream. Thank you. Thank you for everything. I’m glad that I met you.
There’s so much I want to tell you, so much I want to show you, and I’ll never get that chance.
When I eventually return to the Lifestream, to the Planet, wait for me. I’ll come for you. I’ll take your hand, and this time, I won’t let you go. My promised land, my Aerith, I’ll be there. I don’t want to rush it, but I can’t wait to see you again. To hear your laugh, to watch your eyes light up, to feel your warmth.
I love you, Aerith. Thank you for the time that we had together. I’ll always cherish it.
Love,
Cloud Strife.