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Language:
English
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Published:
2016-05-13
Words:
702
Chapters:
1/1
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14
Kudos:
105
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1,435

Last Goodbye

Summary:

“...I'm...losing...my...strength...and...energy...I...can't...see...any...thing...Ze...Zero...Don't...leave...Please...stand...by...me...I'll...protect...you...Zero...”

X doesn't realize he still has something left to lose.

Notes:

I'm still thinking a lot about X5's bad end, and recently I wondered if anything would've changed if X had been conscious for the memory deletion process. This is more of a draft than a finished piece, but I couldn't bring myself to finish it since X5's bad end really messes me up. Even so, I thought I might as well share what I'd already written since I don't know if I'll ever revisit it.

I used a ‘run-on’ style to reflect how I imagined X’s thoughts would be since not only did he just go through an EXTREMELY traumatic situation, but he’s practically half-dead and his systems are barely hanging on. I can’t imagine he’d be all that coherent at a time like this.

(See the end of the work for more notes.)

Work Text:

It was over.

It was all over.

Yet somehow, in the desolate wrecks of the colony, Dr. Light’s AI appeared next to X’s broken body like a phantom apparition.

“Doctor…Li…g…ht…” X struggled to focus on the blurred hologram, vision glitching, unable to identify whether the man before him was real or a hallucinated projection created by his malfunctioning sensors.

“You’ll be fine X, I’ll fix you right up.”

That’s right. He should get up. He should be fighting; fighting to stop Sigma for good, working to help humanity, helping to protect people and clean up the damage the colony caused, and yet…

“I…don’t…want to…fight…anymore…”

Dr. Light’s hologram hesitated for a moment. “You have to, X! The world still needs you!”

“I can’t…” He was broken, too broken to fix, too hurt to put back together, too much pain paralyzing his body and mind, and even if Dr. Light could repair him, it wouldn’t be enough. It couldn’t save what had been lost. It couldn’t save Zero.

X had failed. He’d failed to stop Sigma, failed to protect the Earth, failed to protect Zero, and now Zero—

Zero.

X had let him die.

NO—that wasn't right, he couldn’t have stopped it, it wasn't his fault, it wasn't his fault—yet he should’ve found a way, should've done more—but there was nothing he could’ve done—but he should've tried anyways, should've saved Zero, and now Zero was gone, and there was too much to feel and too much to think and the pain was overwhelming him all at once and X just couldn’t take it.

“Please…no more…” Tears brimmed in X’s eyes, creating horizontal streaks in the dirt across his cheeks, speckling the ground. “Z-zero…I’m so sorry…”

His vision went black momentarily, his last energy reserves starting to burn out. The short shut-down period was almost a relief from the agony assaulting him, a reprieve he never thought he’d want.

The hologram said nothing.

X felt himself being teleported somewhere, a lab he didn’t recognize, felt cords being connected to the back of his head and what remained of his arms and torso, heard the cool voice of the AI speaking.

"Relax, X. I’ll take away all the pain.”

X wanted to believe him, wanted to trust Dr. Light, wanted to escape the hollow feeling threatening to consume him, but he was so tired of hoping, so tired of feeling, so tired of existing. Anything would be better than this horrible misery.   

“That’s right…Relax. You’ll forget all your sorrows soon.”

A sudden surge of electricity shot through X, catching him off-guard. The sensation felt wrong, unnatural, unwanted. His eyes went wide as he felt memories slipping, data being dragged off, like debris swept away by an incoming tide.

“N-no…” X struggled against the erasure, trying to counter it, trying to build defenses, but he was so weak, so tired, and the files slipped through his grasp like water in his outstretched hands. “P-please…no…” The images came and went, dissolving before he could stop them. Memories flashed across his mind in rapid succession, glimpses into a quickly unraveling past. Zero defending him from Sigma, Zero facing him in battle, Zero offering him a hand, Zero fighting by his side, Zero brought back after his parts were recovered, Zero saving him from Vile, Zero laughing, Zero smiling…

Zero, slipping away from him for the last time.

“Don’t…make me…for…get…Z…e...r…o…” his voice broke, the final syllable caught in his throat, static distorting his vocalizer. X felt tears, hot tears sliding down his cheeks even as he forgot the source of them, why he was feeling such agonizing emptiness, why his entire body was shuddering with sobs. He had forgotten, yet he couldn’t stop sobbing, breath hitching as the sobs became nothing more than bursts of static echoing in the silent lab.

“It’ll be fine, X,” the AI said in soothing tones. “It’s alright. It’ll all be over soon.”

 

 

Several days later, a Lifesaver found X collapsed outside Hunter HQ, fully repaired and functional aside from having his energy completely depleted.

…and aside from having no memory of Zero.

Notes:

Thanks for reading! I promise the next fic will be fluff.