Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

From College to Crib

By Elfy

“Hey, welcome back, Alice!” Shouted someone I recognised as a neighbour who lived down the street from me.

I waved back and smiled as I pulled my suitcase along behind me. It had been three years since I had first left town for college and now, I was returning not only with a degree but after graduating top of my class. My hard work had paid off and I was ready to take my first steps into the big wide world.

It was a lovely day. Summer was in full swing and I was ready for a little break before going out and looking for a job. I had my long light brown hair pulled back into a ponytail that bounced on the centre of my back. I didn’t particularly care for fashion or looking good but it kept the hair out of my brown eyes as I walked home from the bus stop.

There was a strange feeling at surveying my hometown again after years away. Everything was the same and yet different. Cars in driveways had changed, ornaments had been added to gardens, the road had been re-surfaced; it was like looking at a dream version of where you lived, it was all familiar but a second look showed that things had changed.

I hadn’t visited home at all since I had got on the bus for college. That may seem unusual but for me going into higher education represented a freedom I was otherwise never afforded. My mother was a strict single parent. Strict may be a bit of an understatement since she ruled the house like an authoritarian dictator. Her word was law and woe betide anyone who didn’t step to her beat. It was probably why dad left when I was a baby he left when I was a baby and I don’t expect he’ll ever be in the picture. Going back home after the freedom afforded by college, and especially after meeting friends like Kat, my best friend, felt like walking back into a part of my life I’d rather forget. Alas, I had nowhere else to go.

I took a deep breath as I reached the family house. It was a modest semi-detached home; the garden was meticulously neat and it was the only house that seemed to be completely unchanged from when I left. It was like I was stepping into a time bubble, as I approached the gate, I almost felt the years turning back, the butterflies started to take flight in my belly. I felt nervous.

“Come on, Alice. You’re just being silly…” I muttered to myself as I gripped my suitcase tightly, “You’re just coming back until you can get a place of your own…”

With a deep breath I opened the latch on the gate and let it swing open. I pulled my bag behind up down the concrete path and stopped just outside the door. My heart was hammering. This was not a reunion I was looking forward to. Living with mom scared me. I loved her, she was my mother after all, but I was worried she would put the bars up around me again until I could find a way to move out. I would be much happier if I was just visiting.

I rang the doorbell and waited. The world seemed to have gone silent as if it too was holding its breath in anticipation of my mother opening the door to see me. Perhaps it was just nerves but I reached down and absentmindedly flattened my shirt over my belly. I hated how nervous I felt. When the door started to open it still somehow caught me by surprise.

“Alice, welcome home.” Mom smiled as she leaned forwards to hug me.

“Hi Mom.” I replied.

“Your room is all ready for you.” Mom said as she pointed to the bottom of the stairs, “Do you need help with your things?”

“No, no, I’ll be fine.” I replied as I pulled my suitcase and bags over the threshold and into the house. The door closed with finality.

“Good, once you’re settled in, we’ll have to have a discussion regarding rent, chores, etc.” Mom said. I froze at the bottom step and frowned.

“Rent?” I asked with confusion, “I never had to pay rent before…”

“Yes, well, you are now a graduate, and I think paying your way is only fair.” Mom said. It was clear from her voice that this was not something that was up for discussion.

“OK.” I sighed. I wasn’t fine with it, but I didn’t want to have an argument right away. It was my mom’s house though and if she wanted to charge me rent there wasn’t much, I could do to stop her. I certainly wished the discussion could’ve waited until I’d settled back in at least. That wasn’t how mom worked though, she had the highest standards and I was expected to slot right back in as if nothing had changed.

I huffed and puffed as I dragged my bags upstairs. I was all brain and no brawn that was for sure. I was small, I would be the first to admit that, not tiny by any means but small enough for it to be clear my size was below average. I wasn’t fat but I wasn’t in shape either and my skinny arms struggled with the weight of the bags I had to take up to my room.

When I finally reached the landing, I was out of breath and even a little lightheaded. The hard work was over though as I walked down the hallway to my bedroom, a room I hadn’t seen since I left for college on my first day. I never came home during college breaks; I was having too much fun with the friends I had made. I could always find an excuse to stay at college. I even went to visit Kat’s family over Thanksgiving one year and the difference to what I was used to was like night and day. Rather than an austere and tense atmosphere where exact traditions had to be observed to avoid angering mom, Kat’s family were fun-loving and everything felt so… free. It made me wish I had been Kat’s sister. There was no way I could tell mom about that though, if she knew I had made an excuse to avoid her and visited someone else I would be in a lot of trouble.

My room hadn’t changed a single bit. I wouldn’t have been surprised if I was told that even mom hadn’t been in there. It was like looking into the mind of my teenage self. The walls were painted a faint pink, a relic from when I was young, and the unicorns and butterflies I’d haphazardly stencilled in white still remained. The posters of boybands I had adored as a teenager were still up. I grimaced as I looked around at them. I was embarrassed that these groups had once been like idols to me. Other relics included old stuffed toys on the shelves, photos of friends from my school days and a make-up dresser complete with movie star lightbulbs surrounding the mirror.

The bed was made and the furniture was all where I remembered it. I ran my hand along the top of the wooden desk and saw that my fingers left a trail in the thin layer of dust. I sat down on my swivel chair and finally let go of my luggage.

“Alice, sweetie, since you’re home could you help me with something?” Mom called from downstairs.

“Do I have a choice?” I mumbled before raising my voice, “What do you need?”

“Could you head to the shops for me there are a few things I need.” Mom shouted.

I sighed and let my head fall back so I could look up at the ceiling. The glow in the dark stars and moons I had stuck to the ceiling were still there. My muscles ached from the walk back home but I rose to my feet anyway and made my way back downstairs. Mom was waiting with a shopping list.

“You should be able to get it all at the mall.” Mom said as she handed me the list.

“Right…” I replied as I scanned the paper.

“Don’t scowl like that, dear.” Mom chided me, “It’s not much to ask.”

I didn’t reply but it should’ve been obvious that I was annoyed at having to help out. I was annoyed that I hadn’t even had a moment to rest, not to mention mom hadn’t even asked how college went or anything. I shouldn’t have expected anything else, of course. I knew how mom was, and this was all entirely in keeping with her character. It also reminded me that I needed to get a job and move out as soon as possible.

“Goodbye.” I said as I walked out the door.

Thankfully the mall wasn’t far away, and I was soon joining the crowds of shoppers meandering through the huge concourses with their plastic bags and screaming children. Taking a look at the list I thought there was a chance I might only need to go to one store. I walked towards the back of the mall where there was a supermarket taking up a huge amount of floor space. I walked inside and grabbed a shopping cart before starting to look around the shelves.

Half an hour later I had managed to cross nearly everything off the list. Only one item remained, and they didn’t have it in stock. I took everything to the checkout and paid before leaving the store and heading to the pharmacy, it seemed the next most likely place to find the home test kit Mom was after.

Next to the supermarket the pharmacy was blissfully quiet. I walked inside and looked around at all the various health related things. Until my eyes fell on some shelves near the back of the store. I turned away and started walking back to the front of the pharmacy.

“Relax…” I said quietly, “It was just because of stress…”

In the run up to my finals, when the pressure reached white hot intensity, I had experienced some issues at nighttime. I hadn’t told anyone but, on several occasions, I woke up in a wet bed. After the third wet night and knowing my exams were still two weeks away, I had eventually decided to buy some diapers. The whole episode had been intensely embarrassing even if no one had known about it and as soon as I finished the last exam I threw the spare diapers in the dumpster outside my dorm building. I wouldn’t need them anymore now that I was home.

I was so lost in my memories I almost walked past what I was there to buy. I stopped, picked up the last item on Mom’s list and then left the store. The walk home was uneventful except for the aching in my legs, I’m not made for lots of exercise, and I felt like I would need a few days to recover from all this walking.

---

I spent the rest of my day in my room. I may only have just left college, but I was already missing my friends, particularly Kat, and so was on the computer messaging them whenever I saw them come online. The only time I left the room was for dinner. If any part of me still held on to the hope that mom had chilled out whilst I was gone, I was quickly disabused. I’d barely sat down when the interrogation started.

“Did you make any friends?”

“Who are they? Are they good people?”

“What were your grades?”

“Why didn’t you call more?”

On and on it went. I barely had time to eat as mom rattled questions off like a machine gun. It was like being accused of a murder and mom was the detective trying to force a confession out of me. It felt to me like she wanted me to say that I’d been partying too hard or something.

“Are you still a virgin?” Mom asked as casually as any of the other questions.

“Mom!” My eyes grew wide as I looked up from my plate, “That’s none of your business!”

Mom looked at me suspiciously, but the truth was I hadn’t done anything she would’ve considered “immoral” at college. I was still that good virgin girl mom wanted me to be. Truth be told I wasn’t the most social girl regardless. My group of friends were much more likely to sit around one of our rooms holding a book club meeting than going out to a club. Many would label us boring, but it was cosy and meant we all went home with great grades. That wasn’t to say that we never went out and got drunk, we certainly did, but next to the other students it was like we were in a convent.

For a mercy mom’s questions dried up after a while and I could finish the, admittedly delicious, meal in silence. Once I was finished with my food, I drained my drink and pushed my chair back to stand up.

“Aren’t you forgetting something?” Mom asked sternly.

“I… don’t think so?” I replied.

“Have you forgotten all your manners whilst you were away?” Mom shook her head in disappointment, “You are to ask to be excused.

“Mom, I’m not a kid anymore…” I sighed as I rolled my eyes.

I thought it was rich of mom to lecture me on manners when she had just interrogated me. She still hadn’t asked me about my grades or anything. It always felt like a one-way street with her, she demanded everyone be polite to her but conveniently forgot her manners when talking herself. Regardless, I could see she was not going to relent.

“May I be excused?” I asked impatiently.

“Certainly.” Mom replied. She waited until I had turned my back to the table, “Right after you do the washing up.”

“What!?” I exclaimed.

“I did the cooking.” Mom said as she dabbed her mouth with a napkin and stood up, “You know the rules.”

As mom walked past me and out into the hallway, I could only shake my head. “The rules” as mom called them were a strangely nebulous concept which could change at a moment’s notice. In fact, they did seem to change every time mom required them to. With a sigh I started gathering up everything to put in the sink whilst mom went to the living room and watched television.

Half an hour later I was finally finished and went back up to my room. I closed the bedroom door behind me and sat down on the edge of the bed, I was wiped out from the day. I got undressed and slipped underneath my covers as I yawned and looked at my phone. Before I knew it the phone had slipped out of my hand, and I was snoring.

Chapter Text

When my consciousness returned something felt strangely off. I opened my eyes to see that the sun hadn’t fully risen and there was a little chill in the room. To be more specific there was a chill towards the centre of the bed around my legs and my sleep addled brain thought I must’ve kicked my cover off in the night. It was only as I moved and realised that the cover was right where it should be that I woke up fully.

“Oh no… Oh no, no, no…” I moaned as I sat up and looked down.

I had felt this strange coldness in my bed before. I had felt it whilst stressing about my exams. I slowly pushed my cover away from me to have my worst fear confirmed. A large wet spot concentrated between my legs but spread out over a lot of the sheet could only mean one thing. I had wet the bed!

As if the wetness was somehow infectious, I scrambled out of bed and on to the bedroom floor. I landed with a thump and started trying to work out what to do. I was panicking but I knew I had to hide what had happened, there was no way I could let mom find out about this. I quickly put on a pair of pants and a shirt as I stripped the sheets off my bed. I balled everything up and slowly opened my bedroom door to see that the landing was empty, it sounded like mom hadn’t got up yet. That was a small mercy.

I tip-toed down the landing with my urine-stained sheets in my hands. I could smell my own pee as I slowly descended the stairs and went to the kitchen. The washing machine was next to the sink, and I quickly shoved everything in there and turned the machine on. I took a deep shuddering breath as I tried to calm down.

“Doing some early morning washing?” Mom’s voice came from behind me and I nearly had a heart attack.

I spun around to see mom stood in the doorway. I had no idea where she could possibly have been hiding but she was now looking at me with her piercing eyes as if she could see right into my mind. I swallowed and tried not to let it show that I was freaking out so much.

“Erm, yeah.” I replied with the best smile I could muster. It wasn’t like I could deny the obvious, the washing machine was already whirring away right behind me.

“Washing the sheets?” Mom said as she pursed her lips.

“Yeah, they weren’t too comfortable last night.” I lied.

“Really? Because I washed them and placed them on your bed yesterday morning.” Mom said, “Shortly before you arrived.”

I swallowed nervously. I couldn’t hold mom’s searching glare. I was a terrible liar at the best of times but under my mother’s scrutiny I wilted like an under-watered flower. Eventually she turned away and went over to the cabinets to start making some breakfast. I used the opportunity to hurry out of the kitchen and back upstairs.

When I got back to my room I immediately flipped over the mattress and then sat down. I put my head in my hands as I tried to calm down. I had thought my wetting accidents ended when my exams were over, I hadn’t wet the bed for the last week of college before coming home after all, and yet my first night home and I was waking up in a wet bed again.

---

Mom watched me closely that day. I could feel her stare boring into me every time we were in the same room. It was enough to make me very paranoid. I kept to myself as much as possible and when I went to bed that night, I was praying that I would wake up to a dry bed. I got lucky with my excuse once, but I don’t think it would work a second time, not with mom breathing down my neck.

Sure enough I was rudely awakened the next morning by the cold wetness against my skin. I sat up and covered my face with my hands. I couldn’t understand what was happening to me, I hadn’t been a bed wetter since I was a small child and now it was happening consistently.

“Pull yourself together, Alice.” I whispered to myself.

I took a second to calm down and then stood up. For the second morning in a row, I stripped my bed of its sheets and hurried out of my room. I tip-toed down the landing and past mom’s bedroom and then went downstairs. I slowly made my way into the kitchen where I saw the washing machine ready and waiting for me…

“More washing?” Mom’s voice came from the kitchen table and stopped me in my tracks.

I closed my eyes and froze up. The kitchen table was conveniently out of eye-line from the doorway, and I hadn’t looked to see mom already at the table drinking her morning coffee. I turned my head slowly to see her sipping on her coffee casually and looking up from the magazine she had been reading. I swallowed my nerves and tried to smile though my lips barely twitched.

“Y-Yeah.” I tried to muster all the confidence I could, “I spilt a drink on the bed.”

“Is that right?” Mom said with a small tilt of her head.

The silence of the kitchen was broken as she suddenly pushed her chair backwards causing it to scrape loudly on the floor. She slowly started walking around to me, almost subconsciously I took a couple of small steps backwards and away from her. She marched right up to me, and I felt very small indeed, my head only coming up to her breasts in height. She grabbed a handful of the sheets and pulled them up towards her face. She sniffed loudly.

“That doesn’t smell like a drink.” Mom said stonily, “It smells like-”

“It’s just a drink!” I quickly interrupted as my cheeks blazed.

“Uh huh.” Mom grunted with tight lips. It was obvious she didn’t believe me, and I could hardly blame her for that.

Before mom could say anything else I pulled the sheets back out of her grasp and hurried past her to the washing machine. I shoved the sheets in and turned the machine on. I leaned on the appliance as it hummed to life, and I heard water filling the drum.

“Are you sure you have nothing you want to tell me?” Mom asked with her arms across her chest.

“Yes.” I replied in exasperation as I turned away from the washing machine. I felt as if I had “Liar” written across my forehead.

“Good, then you won’t mind accompanying me today.” Mom said, “You had better get dressed though. We’ll need to leave soon.”

“What? Where are we going?” I asked with a frown.

“It’s Sunday.” Mom said as if the answer was obvious, “We’re going to church.”

“Mom…” I tried to be tentative in my approach here because I knew it was a sore subject for her, “You know I’m atheist.”

“If you want to stay here without paying rent you’ll be doing as I say.” Mom said with a finality that suggested she wasn’t to be swayed, “And I say we are going to church. If you aren’t coming with me you can pack your things and be out of the house by the time I get home.”

Mom walked out of the room before I could say anything more and I was left shaking my head. She had to know that she wasn’t going to “convert” me or anything so I didn’t see the point. This was just a small annoyance though. I didn’t want to burn my bridges on such a minor thing when I foresaw bigger battles in the future.

I made my way back up to my room and was greeted by the big wet spot on my mattress. I tentatively lifted the edge and looked on the underside, thankfully the area that had been wet on that side was dry though a large stain remained. There wouldn’t be any getting rid of that without throwing the whole thing out.

“Wear that dress you used to wear to church when you were a teenager.” Mom called up from downstairs.

My shoulders slumped as I looked at the wardrobe. I walked over and opened the doors to see a bunch of my old clothes. They almost felt like they belonged to a different person now. I certainly didn’t feel like the person who used to wear these things, the one who always did her best to make mom happy. It was a reminder of how much I had grown at college.

As a teenager I was very much under my mother’s thumb and that was reflected in my clothing. Even as an older teenager I wore clothes that would’ve been more appropriate for someone a few years younger. Whilst the other girls in my class developed their own styles and wore trendy clothing, I was still wearing pastel colours and the like. It was one of the reasons I hadn’t really had any friends till I got to college, and I suspected my mom liked it that way. It left me more dependent on her.

I found the dress my mom wanted and pulled it out of the closet. I held it out in front of me and cringed. It was too frilly to be worn by an adult seriously, I remember being embarrassed to wear it as a teenager since people had started talking about it looking odd on me. I remember being in Sunday school and whilst I was with people my own age I looked more like someone in the nursery class.

“Come on, we don’t want to be late!” Mom shouted impatiently.

“You don’t…” I muttered under my breath, “I would prefer it if we never arrived.”

There was no way to put things off though and despite my internal disgust I was soon pulling the dress over my head. Annoyingly it still fit so I couldn’t use it being too small as an excuse. I looked in the mirror and wondered if there was any way to salvage it. The frilly cuffs and hemline were prominent and sure to attract attention, the pink and white Lolita look made me seem more like a porcelain doll than anything else.

I sighed as I pulled on some socks and panties then made my way out of the bedroom. I hated the way the ruffles and frills seemed to bounce and sway with each of my steps. I saw mom waiting for me at the bottom of the stairs and when she saw me, she broke into a wide wolfish smile.

“Don’t you look just absolutely precious?” Mom said happily as I reached the bottom of the steps and let her pull and twist various bits of the dress to adjust the fit.

“Please, can I at least just wear my own clothes?” I asked though I knew my words would fall on deaf ears.

“Don’t be silly. These are your clothes.” Mom replied tersely as she pulled on her thin gloves and put on her best hat.

“I meant ones that I had actually bought…” I replied quietly.

“Come on.” Mom said. She completely ignored me as she opened the front door and led the way outside.

Chapter Text

I followed mom to the car and got in the passenger seat. I looked around out the windscreen as we drove down streets that I had seen thousands of times before. The surreal feeling continued to plague me as we travelled the familiar streets of my childhood. Heading to church in my old Sunday dress, driven down the same roads we used to travel and seeing the same sights, it really was like the clock had turned back.

The church loomed large after just a few minutes of driving. It was an old building that had certainly seen better days but that didn’t seem to put off the congregation as the parking lot was full of cars and I could see people milling about in the car park waiting for the service to start.

“Remember when you used to go to Sunday school there?” Mom asked as she pointed towards a small temporary building to the side.

“I do.” I replied as a rush of memories of my time spent in there came back. Whilst I had never been particularly religious, I still had enjoyed my time playing with the other kids in there.

Mom pulled into a spot towards the back of the parking lot, and we got out. I tried to straighten my dress again but there was no hiding how strange I must’ve looked; I looked like a teenager from the fifties or something. A girl out of time. As we walked around the car and through the parking lot, could see people looking my way, most frowned or looked curious but a few openly mocked me. It seemed like the teenagers in particular found my situation funny. Mom either didn’t notice or didn’t care.

Thankfully for me we didn’t hang around outside. We went into the church and took one of the pews near the front of the church. The lectern was only a few feet away from us as we took seats midway between the aisle and the wall. I leaned back and stretched out as more people filed in. By the time the service started there were no seats left, I had no idea churches were still so popular.

“Welcome, everyone.” The minister walked out from a back room with his bible. He looked like he must be at least seventy years old as he carried his bible to the podium. I was fairly sure it was the same guy that had been delivering the same old sermons since I had been old enough to remember them, “Today we will be reading from…”

It wasn’t long before I was bored out of mind. I slumped in the pew and looked up at the ceiling. I didn’t know how long these things lasted, as a kid it felt like hours but that surely couldn’t be true. The minster’s voice droned on with every word seeming to roll into the next one, I zoned put pretty quickly. Between his monotone voice and the hot, stuffy atmosphere it seemed a recipe to send everyone to sleep.

Without warning I suddenly felt a pressure in my bladder. I leaned forwards and winced as I tried to work out why it had come on so suddenly. Sure, I had wet the bed a few times, but I had never had problems during the day before. It must just be a cramp or something. I tried to shift and find a position that gave me some relief, but nothing was working.

“Stop fidgeting.” Mom whispered at me in admonishment.

I looked around to see some people looking at me in annoyance as I accidentally knocked someone’s elbow. My face was going red as I tried to sit still again. The minister seemed wholly unaware of what was going on as he continued reading the passage. Then again, from the way he spoke, I wasn’t sure he was aware of anything happening even a couple of feet away.

Wanting to pretend everything was alright I sat up straight and tried to concentrate on the minister’s words. It wasn’t long before the pressure in my bladder seemed to grow again, it almost felt like I could feel every drip of liquid entering my bladder and each was putting more stress on my poor body. I had never had a problem like this during the day, not since I had first potty trained.

I searched through my memory to try and remember what I had eaten and drunk that morning and the previous night. I couldn’t remember anything out of the ordinary, nothing that would cause this to be happening. Maybe I had a urinary tract infection, but I felt otherwise fine so that seemed unlikely. I noticed I was perspiring a little now, beads of sweat appearing on my forehead even though I wasn’t warm. All my muscles were in a constant state of tension and still the need grew.

“Mom, can I slip outside for a minute?” I whispered rather desperately.

“Absolutely not.” Mom hissed back tersely, “I’ll not have you embarrassing me and interrupting the service.”

As mom turned away from me, I couldn’t help but think that unless this service ended in the next twenty seconds, I was going to embarrass her anyway. My bladder was at critical mass. My leg was shaking earning me reproachful looks from those near me, but I couldn’t stop it. I wondered what would give in first, my desperate attempts to keep my pee inside me or my bladder just exploding. It turned out I didn’t have to wait long for my answer.

My gasp was audible to the people around me as I felt a sudden spurt of urine forcing its way out of my body like a super soaker. I clamped down harder as people turned towards me, it seemed they were getting very annoyed at the disruptive person in their midst. How I wished mom had just let me leave.

“Sit still.” Mom leaned in and whispered to me as if I was an unruly toddler. She was sounding very annoyed.

I wished I had ignored my mom and left the church when I had the opportunity because now I felt sure the chance to maintain my dignity was gone. I could feel the rapidly cooling wet spot on my panties and soaking through into the bottom of my embarrassingly infantile dress. I couldn’t move, the only thing keeping back the flood was having every muscle tensed to the maximum. Even a momentary would lapse would spell disaster. It wouldn’t be long until the urine flooded out of me and all over the pew, this was my worst nightmare coming to life.

There was no getting around what was about to happen and yet when it happened, I still felt unprepared. I could feel my muscles quivering until they finally gave in. My eyes went wide, and it felt like my heart stopped as my bladder finally relaxed, I immediately felt warmth cover my crotch and just a second later the liquid was running down my legs and to the floor. I desperately tried to clench and stem the flow, but my exhausted muscles refused to cooperate.

“Oh no… No, no, no…” I gasped.

“What are you… Oh for the love of…” Mom had turned to look at me and when she saw what was happening, she couldn’t stop herself from exclaiming loudly enough that even the minister stopped his sermon.

“Please, mom…” I said quietly as my face went bright red. I was still wetting myself!

Before mom could say or do anything there was a sudden movement and exclamation on my other side. I felt tears rolling down my cheeks and looked down to see the puddle between my feet spreading out. My butt was completely soaked and there were streaks of urine running down my legs. My bladder had finally finished emptying but I could still feel the urine spreading out. There were drips as the urine on the pew ran over the edge.

“Move over! Move over!” The woman next to me exclaimed hysterically as she pushed the person next to her, anxious not to get touched by my pee.

Despite being in a house of God I felt like I was in my own personal hell. There were whispers all around now and the pew I was sat on with mother was emptying quickly. Word was spreading about what was causing the disturbance. I was frozen to the spot in my rapidly cooling accident, I had no idea what to do as I started sobbing.

“Don’t just sit there!” Mom’s voice broke through the general tumult, “Go outside! I can’t believe you’d do this to me…”

When completely directionless and lost a short, sharp command can be very effective. I knew I would have to go outside sooner or later and now, as my mom tugged on my arm, I climbed to my feet. My legs were shaky as I walked towards the aisle. When I dared to look up, I could see all eyes following me, there were gasps as people saw my urine-streaked legs and wet shoes. I was still dripping as I started towards the exit.

“She should be ashamed of herself!” Shouted an elderly male voice.

I was ashamed of myself! I walked out to the lobby and was about to go into the bathroom when I felt my arm being roughly grabbed. I looked around to see mom directing me into the parking lot. She was grumbling about me being embarrassing but I was barely listening, she was taking me straight out to the car. The wind hit the wet areas of my legs and crotch, and I shivered at the cold feeling.

“Wait a minute.” Mom said when we reached the car, and I had reached for the front passenger door.

I was left standing and sniffling next to the car as mom went into the trunk and grabbed a blanket she had in there. I thought she was going to wrap it around me and grant me some modesty but instead she opened the rear passenger door and laid it on the seat. She then stepped back and motioned for me to get in.

It wasn’t exactly the time to argue so I just did as she suggested and got into the back seat. As the door closed behind me, I took a deep shuddering breath. The worst was over, I was at least out of the public eye. Mom had a face of thunder as she got behind the steering wheel. She didn’t say a word as she turned the key in the ignition and drove the car out on to the street.

“Mom, I…” I started after several minutes of silent driving.

“I don’t want to hear it.” Mom replied tersely.

I sat back in my seat and looked out the window forlornly. I felt so confused about why I’d had that accident. It had never happened before. I had put down my nighttime issues to stress and wondered if that could really spill over into daytime problems as well. I was so embarrassed over what had happened and I couldn’t wait to get out of these wet things. I wanted to forget about everything that had happened that day.

The drive home felt a lot longer than the drive to church had been and I was happy to finally be able to scurry inside and out of the public eye. The car was silent except for my snivelling and as soon as mom opened the door I hurriedly scurried inside and dashed up to the bathroom.

I tried to hide out for the rest of the day. I was utterly ashamed to have wet myself so openly and brazenly in church like that, I had no idea I needed the bathroom until it was already too late. Despite my nighttime accidents I had never wet my panties like that during the day. I was far too embarrassed to be seen by mom and I desperately wanted to skip dinner that night, but mom wouldn’t hear of it.

“It’s time for dinner!” Mom called up the stairs.

“I’m not hungry!” I replied equally loudly.

“Don’t you shout at me!” Mom snapped, “Come down and have dinner right now, young lady!”

My shoulders slumped and I knew I didn’t have a choice in the matter. If I tried to ignore mom, I knew she would be straight up to my room and barging in to drag me down. There wasn’t a lock on my bedroom door of course, mom would never countenance me having any actual privacy. I was dressed very casually in loose-fitting pyjamas when I went downstairs and through to the dining table. Mom was already sitting down, and my food was waiting for me.

I was unnerved by the way she sat facing me without looking away. It almost felt like I was about to be interviewed for something. She had a plastic bag by the side of the chair and although I didn’t know what was in it, I knew enough to dread the answer. I slipped into my seat with my hands clasped together on my lap.

I expected mom to say something but after several seconds of silence she picked up her knife and fork and started eating. I followed her lead, for once I was grateful for her discretion in not saying anything. Perhaps she had decided I had suffered enough.

“So… are you going to explain what happened today?” Mom asked quite suddenly midway through the meal.

Chapter Text

I should’ve known better. I almost choked on the food I had been chewing and looked down at the table. Obviously, I didn’t have an explanation for what happened, and obviously I didn’t want to talk about it at all.

“Do you have an explanation as to why you decided to embarrass me at church?” Mom asked impatiently.

I dropped my knife and fork in dumbfounded surprise. I slowly looked up at mom as if expecting to see she was joking, something she rarely ever did. Her face was as stony and serious as it always was. Was she seriously suggesting that I wet myself on purpose!?

“Why I embarrassed… you?” I finally said quietly, “Mom, I didn’t mean to do anything like that!”

“Those are people I have known my whole life and now I have to explain to them why my daughter wet herself…” Mom looked very cross as she started cutting up some of the meat.

“I’m sorry it’s so hard for you.” I said sarcastically. I knew I shouldn’t, but I was already emotionally vulnerable, and it was like she was deliberately poking the wound, “But I didn’t mean to do it. It just sort of… happened.”

“So, you wet yourself?” Mom asked coldly, “Like a child?”

I was tearing up. I knew my mom was always harsh and strict, but this seemed cold even for her. Maybe my absence had left me soft and vulnerable to her poking or maybe she was making up for lost time, I didn’t know the answer, but I did know that I felt like a kid getting told off. I didn’t say anything in reply to mom and that seemed to be a good enough answer for her.

“I got you something.” Mom said.

Sniffing back my tears I looked across the table as mom picked up the plastic bag, I had seen on my way in. I wondered what could possibly be in there but didn’t have to wait long to find out. As mom handed me the bag I looked down into cautiously.

“New underwear?” I asked as I saw what looked like a pink pair of panties.

I reached in and could immediately feel that something was different. This wasn’t just regular underwear. They were thicker and as I slowly lifted the clothing out of the bag, I felt my cheeks turning red.

The pink panties were indeed thicker than usual. They were training pants!

“Just something to wear until we make sure your “accident” was a one-off.” Mom said. Her use of finger-quotes only served to embarrass me further.

I didn’t know what to do. I looked down at the training pants and saw that on the front it had a cartoon picture of a little girl with a small golden crown waving a wand. Words underneath read “I’m a Big Girl!” in excitable large lettering. I dropped them next to the plate on the table.

“Careful, you nearly dropped them right in your food.” Mom scolded me.

“I…You can’t be serious!” I gasped.

“It’s just until we know that you aren’t going to have any more accidents.” Mom reiterated, “Unless the incident in the church wasn’t a one-off?”

I froze as I looked up at mom’s piercing eyes. It was immediately clear to me she was talking about the two bed wetting episodes which I had tried to keep from her. It was like her question was a challenge. She was staring at me and almost daring me to admit that I had indeed wet the bed. I wasn’t about to give her the satisfaction, I didn’t want to in any way justify her “gift” to me.

“It’s only happened once.” I said as stoically as I could, “And it won’t happen again.”

“Then there isn’t a problem.” Mom smiled as she returned to her meal.

“May I be excused?” I asked. I was straining every muscle to remain calm as I spoke. Inside I was shaking.

“You’ve hardly touched your dinner…” Mom commented.

“I’m not hungry.” I replied.

“Suit yourself.” Mom said, “But I want you to be wearing the training pants. Just in case.”

I snatched the embarrassing training pants off the table and stomped all the way back up to my room. As soon as I had closed the door behind me, I jumped on to my bed and curled up into the fetal position. The tears, once they properly started, would not stop.

---

That night as I listened to mom going to bed, I was a ball of anxiety. The last two nights had resulted in wet beds and now I absolutely had to keep the bed dry. I sat at my desk and bit my nails. I had no idea what I was going to do. The training pants were still on my desk and in their packaging. I wasn’t going to put those on regardless, I didn’t imagine they would do a lot to alleviate the bed wetting anyway since the sheets had been absolutely flooded the last couple of nights.

I figured the only way I would be able to keep the bed dry was to stay up all night. Curiously I felt the need for the toilet a couple of times, but it wasn’t too urgent and I was able to get to the bathroom without an issue. Why it wasn’t an issue that evening and had been a problem that morning left me scratching my head.

I turned on the computer and decided the best way to keep myself awake was to keep myself occupied. No sooner had I connected to the internet then I heard a notification and saw a little message pop up in the bottom right of the screen.

“Alice! I was beginning to think something had happened!” It was my best friend from college, Kathleen. Though she much preferred to be called Kat.

“Sorry, I’m fine, how are you?” I replied.

Kat and I had been almost inseparable from the moment we had first met. We were on the same course so shared a lot of the same classes. For our second and third years we were housemates, and we did everything together.

“So, what have you been up to?” Kat asked after several messages back and forth.

“Oh, you know… This and that.” I replied. I couldn’t exactly tell her the truth and say I was desperately trying to keep my panties dry.

“Are you sure?” Kat replied, “I feel like you’re acting weirdly!”

Was I that obvious? Even through a brief text conversation my friend could tell something was wrong. We shared everything but there was no way I was sharing this with her, I didn’t need her worrying about me to go with everything else. I just told her I was fine and moved the conversation on to other things.

Unfortunately, Kat couldn’t stay up all night speaking to me. After a little while she signed off and I was left alone again. I could feel tiredness creeping into me. In a desperate bid to stay awake I went on to a streaming site and clicked on a film I hadn’t seen before. I reclined my seat, put my feet up and prepared to enjoy. It was a full-on action film so I was confident the explosions would keep me awake.

---

My feet slipped off the edge of the desk and I suddenly startled awake. I practically slipped off my seat, but I could immediately tell something was wrong. I jumped off my chair and turned to look at the seat. I felt my heart sink. It was soaked.

I sat on the floor and brought my knees up to rest my head. I felt exhausted, clearly sleeping in my computer chair didn’t give me a good night sleep and it had done nothing to help me stay dry. I felt a dread deep in my chest. Is this how things would go from now on? I would just find different places to sleep every night only to end up leaving stains everywhere.

After a couple of minutes, when I was able to calm down, I grabbed a towel and placed it on the surface of the chair. I took a couple of deep breaths and then stood up. I couldn’t let mom know something was wrong. The chair would dry out and everything would be fine. I got changed and, reluctantly, put on the training pants mom had bought me. They didn’t feel like regular underwear no matter how much the packaging said they would. They felt thick and a little stiffer than I was used to. I had to admit to being surprised they fit me at all.

I put on a knee-length pleated skirt and a white blouse before heading downstairs. I walked into the kitchen and was unsurprised to see mom already eating breakfast.

“No laundry today?” Mom asked without looking up from the magazine she was reading.

“No.” I replied flatly.

I walked past mom and tried to supress the feeling that she could read my mind and know that the only reason I didn’t have sheets to wash was because I had wet my chair in my sleep. I popped a couple of slices of bread into the toaster and then waited. Once my morning meal was ready, I buttered the toast and sat down opposite mom.

“I’m going to need you to help me today.” Mom said as soon as I lifted the first slice of toast towards my mouth.

“What? Why?” I asked.

“Because you are my daughter and you need to help out around here.” Mom replied decisively.

I sighed but said nothing. There was nothing I could say that would change mom’s mind and my need of a place to live hadn’t gone away. It was her house and her rules. She told me I would be needed in an hour so I spent the intervening time in my bedroom wishing I could just go back to college and live there.

When I came back down, I found mom already waiting for me. I put on my shoes and looked at the door and then my mother. She just stood there with pursed lips, and I wondered what the holdup was.

“Lift your skirt.” Mom said.

“Excuse me?” I replied. The strange request took me back.

“Lift your skirt.” Mom repeated impatiently, “I need to make sure you’re wearing your training pants.”

I felt so humiliated. Just having my mom ask me such a question was an embarrassment, but she also wanted to make sure I was wearing them. This was too much even for her. I was twenty-three years old; I could be trusted to dress myself!

“I put the trai-… I have them on.” I muttered as I looked down in embarrassment.

“Show me.” Mom demanded.

“Mom!” I replied in scandalous indignation, “I’m not showing you my underwear!”

“When you came back to stay here you promised to live under my rules.” Mom said, “If you don’t want to do as I say you can pack up your things and go.”

I balled up my hands into fists. I had nowhere to go, if I had somewhere to say I would’ve been there from the moment I got back to town. With a sinking feeling I knew I really had no choice. It felt ridiculous to be an adult and doing this, but I wasn’t even sure I could blame mom after what happened in the church.

With mom watching me expectantly I slowly reached down and grabbed the bottom of my skirt. I was cringing in shame as I lifted it. I was reminded of a toddler proudly showing off their “big girl pants” to a loving parent. My skirt was lifted up and I could see mom looking down at my crotch and the training pants.

“Very good.” Mom said after a few seconds, “Let’s go.”

Chapter Text

Mom reached out and opened the front door without any warning. Cringing as I was, I didn’t see her doing so until I heard it opening, I quickly lowered my skirt before anyone might’ve seen me showing off my panties. I wanted to shout at mom for not giving me a warning, but I knew better than to actually do it. I smoothed out my skirt and followed mom out to the car.

I only learned where we were going as the car pulled up to the library. It was a fairly modern looking building and quite big as far as libraries went. It was used by a mixture of the local population and students at the local college. My mom had tried pressuring me to go to the local college to keep me close by but there was no way I was going to do that if I had an option further away.

I followed mom out of the car and into the air-conditioned building. We briefly stopped at the desk so mom could show her library card whereas I got a visitor permit, it basically meant I wouldn’t be able to take any books out which was fine with me since I didn’t plan on doing so.

“Why are we here?” I whispered to mom as we walked into a large room full of books.

“I’m looking for something to read.” Mom replied. It was obvious really, but I wasn’t used to mom doing anything just for the enjoyment of it.

I was bored very quickly. Mom started wondering slowly through the shelves whilst I stayed at one of the tables. I contented myself with people watching. It felt like we were going to be there for hours as mom seemed to take every other book off the shelf to read the back before returning it. I rested my head on my hand as I waited. There didn’t seem to be any reason why I was there.

“Psst… Alice. Come here.” I heard mom whispering for me. I looked up to see her waving me over. She had three books in her hands.

When I walked over mom quickly dumped the books into my arms. Almost as soon as I felt the weight of the books in my hands, I felt a pang in my bladder. I swallowed as I was quite forcefully reminded of the church and the accident that had occurred there.

“Where’s the bathroom?” I immediately asked. I wasn’t willing to repeat the mistakes of the past.

“Bathroom?” Mom replied distractedly as she looked at some more books, “Not in here. There’s a public restroom outside, we can stop there before leaving for home.”

That seemed like it might be a problem because the pressure seemed to be growing fast. It was just like the day in the church, and I could feel myself panicking already. I couldn’t embarrass myself again. My knees trembled as I held mom’s books. Mom didn’t seem in any hurry as she continued to slowly look through the books on the shelf. How many books was she planning to take out?

I knew that I was in trouble, but I was still surprised by how sudden my total loss of control came on. I was squeezing my legs together and trying to distract myself when I felt liquid trickling out of me. I gasped as the small dribble was contained by the thick material around my crotch. I had been so against wearing these training panties but now I felt like they weren’t going to be enough.

“Mom… I need to go!” I whined desperately. I could hear how childish I sounded but I couldn’t help it. I knew I wasn’t going to get very far regardless.

Mom looked at me impatiently and then down at the pile of books in my hands. She seemed to be weighing up whether they would satiate her literary needs whilst I writhed and desperately tried to keep control.

“Fine, we can go.” Mom said. She walked past me and back into the open communal area.

I turned around to follow her and felt another tremor as another dribble of urine escaped by clenching bladder. I let out a whine as I tried to follow mom. I had to shuffle awkwardly as I clenched everything and desperately tried to hold on. I was going slowly, moving strangely and attracting attention from a lot of nearby people who clearly wondered what I was doing.

It was about halfway to the desk when I lost control completely. I felt a rush of heat and immediately knew I was about to flood my training pants. I let out a pathetic whine and dropped the books I was carrying causing even more attention to come my way. I automatically lowered my hands and grabbed my crotch. The warmth was already spreading through the cotton training pants but they weren’t made to withstand what I was doing, and it was mere seconds until the dam burst and the heat start flowing down my legs.

“Mom!” I cried out desperately though what I expected her to do I had no idea.

With all eyes turned towards me I wanted a hole to open up underneath my feet. I heard the noise of water running as the saturated material of the panties waved the white flag and my accident flowed out of them like a waterfall on to the carpeted floor. Trickles were also running down my legs and into my shoes as I wet myself helplessly. My hands were still grabbing at my crotch though they did nothing to avert the disaster that was happening, instead they were just getting soaking wet as well.

The carpet around me now had a big wet stain and it was still growing as my bladder emptied relentlessly. My face was burning with shame, and I started crying. Through my tears I could see mom looking at me in astonishment. I didn’t dare look around to the dozen or so people who were also staring in transfixed fascination.

My bladder finally finished its traitorous emptying, but I remained frozen. I was sobbing in humiliated shame. I couldn’t believe this had happened again, twice in two days I’d had unprovoked accidents in public. After a couple of seconds my fight or flight response kicked in and I ran towards the exit. I pushed past a couple of people who were just coming in and ran all the way to mom’s car. I slumped down against the car and cried loudly.

“Really, Alice? Again?” Mom’s voice broke the stillness of the car park, and I looked around to see her standing by the hood of the car with her hands on her hips.

“I… couldn’t help it.” I replied though my sobs.

“I thought you had just graduated college rather than kindergarten.” Mom said acidly.

I wanted to cuss mom out, but I didn’t have the strength. I couldn’t exactly argue she was wrong with her cold calculation either. I went back to my quiet sobbing as mom walked around the car. I looked down and lifted my skirt to see my soaked training panties, fortunately I was sheltered from public view by other vehicles.

The trunk opened and I heard my mom pull something out. She walked around next to me and opened the rear passenger door. Just like after my previous accident mom put down the blanket and held the door open for me, I stood up and saw the big wet spot where my butt had been. With my head hanging I climbed in and sat down.

“I’ll be right back.” Mom said as she unceremoniously shut the door.

I took a deep breath as I tried to calm myself down. I didn’t look out to see where mom was going, to be truthful I was just glad to have some time in relative solitude. It gave me some time to think about everything that was happening. I wondered if I should see a doctor about these sudden accidents. I was fine the previous evening but during the day and night I had become like a leaky faucet. I bit my nails forgetting where my hands had so recently been and got the overpowering scent of my pee.

It had to be stress, I thought, these accidents must be happening because I’m really stressed again. If I was honest being at home was more stressful than when I had been studying for my finals. I looked in the wing mirror and could see that I looked a mess. The tears streaked my cheeks, and my eyes were puffy and red. I had to get myself together.

Mom came back about fifteen minutes later but she approached the car from the rear, so I didn’t see where she had come from or what she had brought with her. When I heard the trunk shut I jumped and felt another small dribble escape me.

“This is getting out of hand.” Mom looked like she was seething as she sat down behind the steering wheel, “I was invited to a book club held at that library. I will not be able to show my face there now.”

I cringed as mom turned the engine on. I was grateful that the radio filled what would otherwise be a very quiet and awkward journey home. Yet again, as soon I got in the door, I fled up to my room before mom could say or do anything. I wanted to lock the door behind me and exist separate from a world I couldn’t stop embarrassing myself in.

---

I did my best to avoid Mom. After showering and getting changed into a pair of regular panties I decided to hide out in my room. I didn’t think Mom wanted to talk to me after I had embarrassed her earlier and I was certainly happy to have some space. I turned on my computer with the idea of playing some games, but a message popped up before I could load anything.

“Hey! How are you?” Kat asked.

“Not great, to be honest.” I replied.

“Oh no.” Kat responded along with a frowning emoji, “What’s up?”

“Just… stuff.” I typed.

I couldn’t exactly tell Kat the truth. I wasn’t about to admit to her that I was having regular accidents, even in public. What I had originally thought was simply some stress induced bed wetting was seemingly something more serious. I made a mental note to make a doctor’s appointment.

“Your Mom being a bitch?” Kat asked.

“Kat!” I replied. I had to chuckle at her cheeky message. I had made it quite clear to all my friends what living at home was like for me, “She’s just strict. You know, it’s just her way.”

“Well, if she gives you any trouble tell her she’ll have me to deal with.” Kat said.

I typed a couple of laughing emojis and then told Kat I was going to play some games so wouldn’t be responding. It was blissfully relaxing to let go of all the anxieties I had been facing recently. I decided on a relaxing sandbox-style building game where there was no pressure for results and I could just chill out. It felt like I needed that more than anything else.

“Alice, I want you to help me with dinner.”

Mom’s voice was coming from right behind me! I startled and as I did so I felt a small dribble of urine enter my thin panties. I hadn’t heard her come in. She hadn’t even bothered to knock. I could’ve been doing anything in my room!

“Mom, you need to knock before you come in.” I said as I felt my heartrate returning to normal.

“Oh, do I?” Mom asked with arched eyebrows, “This is my house, young lady.”

“I know, but…” I started.

“Just come down to help me with dinner.” Mom interrupted, “And make sure you’re wearing your training pants.”

I felt a flush of humiliation wash over me as if a bucket had been tipped over my head. Once mom had left the room I stood up and went over to my underwear drawer. Next to all my panties there were some pairs that were clearly a little thicker and a lot more childish. Each of them had cartoon characters and superheroes on the front.

“I can’t believe I have to do this…” I muttered.

I scowled at the training pants that had invaded my underwear drawer. They were taking up far too much real estate for my liking. I reached in and lifted a pair of the thick cotton underpants, they were pink with a picture of a popular female superhero on the front. I couldn’t believe mom wanted me to wear these things, regardless of what had happened, we were at home, and it wasn’t like I wouldn’t just go to the toilet if I needed.

The training pants were put back in the drawer and instead I picked up a pair of my regular panties. I was going to prove I didn’t need the stupid “protection” at all. With the panties pulled up my legs and a skirt over the top I was ready to head downstairs.

“Alice! Don’t make me come back up there!” Mom called from downstairs.

“Coming!” I shouted back.

My mom was so overbearing. As I went downstairs, I could smell dinner cooking in the oven. I went down the hallway and through to the kitchen where Mom was pulling a tray out of the stove and preparing a couple of plates. I sat down at the table.

“Oh, don’t worry about helping.” Mom said sarcastically, “I can handle everything.”

I rolled my eyes. I knew from past experience that whenever I tried to help mom just complained I was getting in the way and told me to go sit down. She just liked to complain. After a couple of minutes mom brought the plates over to the table and sat down herself.

For all the negatives of living with mom the cooking was not one of them. Dinner was delicious as it always was. The downside being having to listen to mom. Her idea of table “conversation” was half gossiping about people she knew and I didn’t, and half complaining about me. I made every effort to eat as fast as possible so I could retreat to my room. I kind of needed the bathroom.

“May I be excused?” I asked before I’d even finished chewing the last mouthful.

Before Mom had time to say anything I stood up and took a couple of steps towards the door.

“Hold on.” Mom said. I heard her put her knife and fork down as I froze in place, “Come over here.”

“Why?” I asked without turning around.

“Come here.” Mom said. Her voice was stern, I knew she wasn’t kidding around. She never kidded around.

I slowly turned around to face her. She was looking at me with an icy stare and as I rounded the table she didn’t take her eyes off me. I tried to act as nonchalantly as possible, but I couldn’t help but feel like she had some kind of x-ray vision, that she knew something was wrong. No sooner was I in range of mom’s arm than she reached and pulled me closer.

“Mom, I…” I started.

“Shush.” Mom replied.

I let out a sigh and closed my eyes as mom took hold of the bottom of my skirt and lifted it up to show the panties underneath. She let go and the soft material fluttered back down. When I opened my eyes mom was standing in front of me. She took my wrist and started pulling me towards the stairs.

“Mom…” I tried again.

“Quiet.” Mom said, “I gave you a very clear instruction and you have disobeyed me.”

I stumbled along behind mom as I was practically dragged to the stairs. I wanted to argue against her, but I couldn’t deny that I had ignored what she told me to do. I was twenty-three years-old though, not a child, I was able to make my own choices with what I wore. None of that mattered to my mom though.

Chapter Text

Before long I was back in my bedroom. Mom took me straight over to my bed and then grabbed the waistband of my skirt and pulled down. Shocked as I was by the sudden move I lowered my hands to hide my panties. Mom just rolled her eyes. She grabbed hold of my wrist and sat on the bed pulling me down. I stumbled over her lap until I was fully bent over. This was a position I knew well from my childhood. Most children stop getting spanked when they reach a certain age. Not me. I was spanked whenever I disobeyed mom right up until I left for college.

The first spank took me by surprise and I squealed. It hurt but the embarrassment was far worse. Being taken over my mother’s knee like a toddler really brought me back to my adolescence. As the spanks continued to land on my rear end, I closed my eyes and imagined what friends and family would think if they saw me like this. What would Kat say if she knew I was being spanked?

“Under this house you follow my rules.” Mom said as she tanned my backside.

“I’m sorry! I’m sorry!” I exclaimed, “I’ll wear the training pants!”

The spanks continued to thud into my backside until I was on the verge of tears. I could imagine that my butt was turning a very angry shade of red, and I could feel the stinging pain going all the way through me, I was quite sure I’d be bruised after mom’s discipline had finished.

“Oh, I know you will.” Mom said with self-assurance.

As the spanking drew to a close, I had noticed that I needed the bathroom. I don’t know if it was the spanking shaking my bladder up or if it was a coincidence, but I needed to pee quite a bit. As I clambered off mom’s lap, I quickly wiped my eyes of the tears that I’d managed to avoid shedding and rubbed my backside.

“Don’t think that just because you’ve been to college that you are exempt from my rules and the consequences of breaking them.” Mom said as she walked over to where I had left the training pants earlier, “It is my house, and these are my rules.”

I already knew that mom ruled the house as her own personal kingdom. She was a dictator who didn’t suffer fools gladly. It was her way or the highway and since I didn’t have a lot of options I would have to be on my best behaviour if I wanted to be able to sit down with hurting my bruised backside.

“Now take those panties off.” Mom said.

I waited for mom to give me some privacy. I thought she would at least turn around but instead she just waited with an expression practically daring me to disobey. I swallowed hard as I reached and hooked my thumbs under the waistband of my underwear.

“Mom, can I…” I started.

“Now.” Mom interrupted, “Unless you want to go back over my knee.”

I had taken just about all the spanks I could handle. With my face burning from embarrassment, I slowly lowered my panties until I was standing in front of mom with nothing covering my lower half. All of a sudden, I couldn’t get into the training pants soon enough. With my hands over my private parts I hurried across to the thick underwear with mom watching every step. I fumbled with them as I attempted to keep myself covered as well as putting the training pants on.

“Excellent.” Mom said, “Now you can come down and help me with the washing up. Don’t bother with the skirt.”

I had just been about to grab a skirt to cover up the embarrassing underwear when mom stopped me. I stood back up and looked down at my new underwear. They were distinctly childish. The baby pink didn’t suit me at all and the cartoon princess waving a want along with the words “I’m a Big Girl!” just seemed to taunt me.

Mom walked to the bedroom door and then held the door open. I kept my head bowed as I left my room. The thickness of the training pants became even more obvious as I walked. Each step caused the thicker than usual material to rub against my thighs. As I walked down the landing the bathroom loomed in front of me next to the top of the stairs, a reminder of how much I needed to pee. I started making my way inside when mom cleared her throat behind me. I turned around.

“You can visit the potty after the washing up is done.” Mom said.

“But…” I started.

It felt like something big had changed. It wasn’t just Mom being strict, it was something more. She’d had enough of me, and it felt like she was letting me know that it didn’t matter how old I was, she was the boss, and she wasn’t going to put up with me defying her. I trembled slightly. She’d always been strict but now I felt something else towards her. I felt fear.

When I saw Mom’s icy look I decided not to argue any further. If I wanted to use the toilet, I would just have to get the washing up done as quickly as possible. I went downstairs and tried to forget how I was dressed, it was easier said than done as the cool air on my naked legs was a constant reminder of what I wasn’t wearing. Mom followed me to the kitchen.

“I don’t want you to think I’m not fair.” Mom said as she went over to the sink, “I’ll do the washing, and you do the drying.”

I wasn’t going to argue with being given what I saw as the easier job. That said, as I took up position with the dishcloths I felt another pang of warning from my bladder. My bladder hadn’t been giving me much warning recently, so I was more than a little concerned. As Mom turned away to turn on the faucets and start cleaning the first plate I pressed my thighs together. I was distracted as well, by the stinging radiating through my butt.

Washing up shouldn’t take long. That was my opinion at least, it seemed Mom had different ideas. She washed one thing at a time and seemed to take an age making sure everything was spotless before handing it to me to dry. Normally, apart from the boredom, it wouldn’t bother me but now it seemed like a test. Handling all of these wet items was seemingly putting even more strain on my bladder. I tried to hurry things along but every time I hadn’t done a thorough job with drying Mom would make me pick whatever it was back up and dry it some more. At one point she noticed a tiny spot of dried food on one of the plates and started the whole cycle of washing it again.

“Mom, please can I go to the toilet?” I asked. I felt stupid. I was twenty-three years-old and asking permission to use the bathroom, “It will only take a minute.”

“We’re nearly done.” Mom replied.

I let out a whine. Mom might’ve been nearly done with the washing up, but my bladder was nearly done as well. I was trying to keep my legs squeezed tightly closed and was practically hopping from foot to foot, when Mom wasn’t looking, I put my hand down to my crotch, anything I could do to reinforce my struggling bladder.

It seemed to go on and on. If anything, Mom seemed to be getting slower and seemed oblivious to my struggle. As she started washing the pots and pans, she had used to cook I felt like I was at the end of my short tether. I was still debating what to do and whether I could run off to the bathroom when my bladder sphincter opened slightly. I was drying a glass when I felt a short stream of urine suddenly wet the training pants.

“Careful!” Mom exclaimed.

I had dropped the glass in shock. It hit the side of the sink but mercifully didn’t break. It did, however, roll back into the soapy water meaning it would have to go through the cleaning cycle again. I was hardly paying attention though. I could feel the urine get absorbed by the training pants, it felt cold and uncomfortable but that was the least of my problems. That small leak had only been a portent for things to come, my bladder was screaming at me to relax and let it empty.

My brain felt frozen. I didn’t know what to do. Part of me wanted to run for the bathroom but the other part didn’t want to disobey Mom and risk another punishment. I came to the sinking realisation that it didn’t really matter what I decided to do my bladder was waving the white flag and I had only seconds left before disaster.

I felt the rush of urine towards the exit. My mouth hung open as I froze and a second later, I felt the training pants suddenly warm as they filled with pee. They didn’t last long. The training pants were meant for tiny leaks from mostly potty-trained children. The dam burst and I could feel the urine streaming down my legs. Soon there was a puddle forming around my feet as I stood frozen and looking down at the accident that I couldn’t stop.

“What’s that noise?” Mom asked as she continued to scrub a pan.

The noise was pee dripping from the bottom of my soaked training pants into the puddle underneath me. It was quickly cooling and becoming uncomfortable. I opened my legs a little as the urine continued to stream down to the floor. The “I’m a Big Girl!” message on the front of the saturated underwear now felt like a cruel taunt.

“Mom…” I said quietly.

“Yes, I told you that you can use the bathroom when we’re done.” Mom said without turning around.

“Mom…” I repeated.

“What?” Mom turned around impatiently.

I could feel my face turning a deep red as Mom looked at me and slowly lowered her gaze towards the ground. I could see her eyes widen in shock when she saw the puddle I was stood in. Her mouth opened and closed several times as I sniffed back tears.

“I… I’m sorry…” I gasped as sobs threatened to overwhelm me.

“Get upstairs!” Mom shouted, “Now!”

I didn’t wait around to see what happened if I failed to obey. I quickly hurried out of the room leaving footprints on the floor as I ran towards the stairs as fast as I dared. I heard Mom exclaiming about the puddle I’d left as I made my way upstairs. I reached the bathroom and sat on the toilet without bothering to lower the sopping wet underwear.

“I told her I needed the toilet!” I exclaimed to myself as I lowered my head to my hands, “Why didn’t she listen!?”

This was a nightmare. By the time I had sat on the toilet there was nothing left to come out of me. As I lowered my head to my hands in despair, I heard the occasional drip of urine that had soaked through my underwear and was now falling into the toilet. I felt despondent. A minute previously I could’ve been sat on the toilet and there wouldn’t have been an issue, now I had been comprehensively embarrassed.

I heard Mom coming up the stairs a couple of minutes later. She reached the landing and looked into the bathroom to see me still sitting on the toilet. I chanced a small look and could see that she was far from happy. After such a humiliating event may might expect their mom to put their arm around them and say everything was going to be alright. I knew I wasn’t going to get that from my mother.

“Take off those panties, clean yourself up and meet me in your bedroom.” Mom instructed as she turned away and stomped towards my room.

I sniffed back tears as I slowly stood up and closed the bathroom door. Peeling my soaked panties off my crotch and lowering them down my legs was gross. I stepped out of them and straight into the shower.

If I could’ve done, I would’ve stayed in the shower forever. I cleaned myself all over with special attention paid to my crotch and legs. Even then I still felt dirty. It didn’t seem like any amount of soap and water would wash that feeling away. I let the water run over me as I tried to work out where to go from here. Obviously, Mom was very upset that I had disobeyed her and I don’t think pissing all over the kitchen had improved her mood at all.

“Alice!” Mom’s voice from the other side of the door almost made me lose my balance, “Hurry up. I don’t have all evening.”

“Coming!” I called back. Her voice coming out of nowhere had almost made me fall through the side of the shower.

Chapter Text

I obviously couldn’t put this confrontation off forever. With reluctance I turned off the water and stepped out of the shower. I quickly wrapped myself in a towel and started drying off as quickly as I could. As soon as I knew I wasn’t going to drip everywhere I took my baby pink dressing gown from the hook on the door and wrapped it around me. I braced myself and then opened the door. Mom was standing on the other side with her hands on her hips and a face of thunder.

“Mom, I…” I started.

No sooner had I started talking than Mom had grabbed my wrist and pulled me forwards. I had still been tying my robe which half-opened as I stumbled after her towards my bedroom. As I almost fell through the doorway Mom let get of me. I had been battling to keep myself covered up, so I hadn’t been looking over to the bed. When I finally did so it felt like time froze.

“W-What…” I mumbled.

“I didn’t think you’d fail in your training pants quite that quickly.” Mom said, “Luckily I was prepared.”

Pull-ups. Sitting on top of my covers was a green plastic packet of pull-ups. I had of course seen them in stores but to have a pack right in front of me in my bedroom felt strange and alien. I walked over to the bed and picked the packet up as if it had something contagious on it.

“W-Why do you have these?” I sked. I was trying to sound calm, but it wasn’t working very well.

“I bought them in case the training pants proved to be too little protection.” Mom replied.

“I don’t want them.” I quickly said, “I don’t need them.”

I dropped the pull-ups back on the bed where they bounced away from me. I turned to Mom who had her arms folded across her chest. Her mouth was a thin line and she as staring right back at me as if waiting for more.

“G-Give me the training pants!” I continued rather desperately, “I… I mean wash them first, but I’ll wear them! I promise, no tricks or complaining or anything!”

“Are you finished?” Mom asked when I stuttered to a stop.

I could see that Mom wasn’t convinced. To be fair, the best debaters in the world could’ve argued the point for hours and my Mom would likely have been similarly unmoved. My pathetic attempts at rescuing the situation had less effect than a puppy looking at its master’s dinner and wanting to be fed a little bit.

“You lied to me.” Mom said, “And then you wet yourself yet again.”

“I needed to go to the toilet!” I said loudly, “I told you I needed to go but you didn’t let me!”

Even as I argued my case I realised how childish it sounded. I was twenty-three years-old but my argument as to why the accident hadn’t been my fault was similar to that of an actual toddler. I was a grown woman, if I needed to go to the toilet I should’ve just gone, a point that was not lost on Mom.

“So you just urinated all over the floor?” Mom asked as she shook her head, “No, it’s not good enough. You are going to have to earn the right to wear training pants again.”

This was so humiliating. I bowed my head and sniffed back tears. I shuddered to think what it would be like if any of my friends could see me like this. Mom walked over to the bed and picked up the pull-ups. She tore the top of the pack open and I saw the many pairs of disposable underwear inside.

“So, new rule.” Mom said as she pulled at one of the pull-ups, “Until you can prove to me that you can keep yourself dry you will be wearing pull-ups. When I’m satisfied, you may move to training pants again.”

I was being demoted. I remembered this exact same technique from when I was a young child. Potty training had been difficult for me, I would argue Mom didn’t help with it in the slightest with how overbearing and ready to criticise me she was. I wanted to argue but didn’t know what to say. It didn’t feel like there was anything that would help my case.

“Why did you already have those?” I asked sulkily.

“Never you mind.” Mom replied. She held one of the pull-ups open and expected me to step into it.

“You expected me to fail!” I bristled with annoyance and embarrassment that Mom expected so little from me… and that she had been right.

“I expected you would have some issues.” Mom replied, “Now, come on, I don’t have all day.”

With all the humiliations of the last hour or so I had rather lost the fact that I was still basically naked in front of Mom with my gown hanging half open. At least the pull-up would provide some sort of cover. I was keen not to keep Mom waiting too long as well, I knew a spanking would be in my immediately future if I didn’t comply.

My legs shook slightly as I looked down at the pull-up. I was trembling and every muscle in my body seemed to be fighting my brain. As I lifted a leg I nearly fell backwards on to my bed. I quickly leaned forwards and put my hands on my crouching mother’s shoulders, it didn’t occur to me that I could’ve asked to put it on myself.

I felt the papery leg bands against my skin as I stepped through the hole. The elastic sides stretched as my foot hit the ground, I could already feel the padding of the underwear against the inside of my leg. I lifted my other foot and repeated the process with my other foot. I shivered, this already felt very strange.

As soon as my foot was through the hole and down on the floor Mom started pulling the pull-up. I squeezed my eyes tightly shut as I felt it continue to rise up my legs. Soon Mom had pulled it all the way up and I felt the padding nestle against my crotch. I covered my face with my hands as Mom adjusted the disposable slightly.

“There we go.” Mom said as she stood back up, “That wasn’t such a big deal, was it?”

It felt like a big deal to me. It felt like a HUGE deal. I quickly closed my dressing gown tightly to try and hide. Turning away from Mom I just wanted to forget what was happening, but every movement was a reminder. Old memories were being unlocked.

As a child, when I’d had problems Mom would do this same stuff, and it only ever made the problems worse. I could only pray that this time things wouldn’t get any worse, that I would stay dry now and get my panties back. I waited for Mom to leave the bedroom before I finally turned back around and sat on the edge of the mattress. I could feel the thin padding getting pressed against me, it was so much worse than the training pants.

“Have a goodnight.” Mom called out as she left the room.

All I could do was stare blankly as it felt like my life was collapsing around me. If I didn’t start getting my errant bladder under control soon, I had no idea what Mom would do. She seemed worse than before I’d left for college, she’d always been strict but now she seemed mean. I needed to get back into panties, get a job and then get out of the house as soon as possible.

---

“Oh crap… Oh god…” I knew there was a problem as soon as I regained consciousness. I didn’t even need to open my eyes.

My warm bed was interrupted halfway down by a cold patch. What was worse was the moisture I could feel on my thighs. Even though I immediately knew what had happened, that I had wet the bed, it took my tired mind a second to realise I had to get out of it.

I climbed out of bed and looked down at myself. This was surely a nightmare. I pinched at my exposed skin, but the pain felt very real. The early morning sun was streaming through the window and illuminated just how puffy the pull-up had become, even worse, it glistened off the moisture that was struck to my skin. I tentatively pulled the covers back and saw a large stain on the sheet. I slumped down at the side of my mattress and covered my face with my hands, the smell of my urine filled the air around me.

I couldn’t believe it. This was just like when I had been a kid and started having problems with keeping the bed dry. I knew now that it wasn’t too uncommon for children, especially girls, to have a little problem with bedwetting or something similar as they started puberty but at the time I felt like a complete freak. I’d experienced a little more urgency in the day which resulted in an accident, Mom had put me in pull-ups, and I started wetting the bed. I had no idea whether it was the pull-ups sending signals to my brain or a coincidence, but it had happened again.

There was no way I could let Mom find out what had happened. I stood next to the bed and started pulling up the sheets, I would have to hope I could sneak them all down to the laundry. With the bedding balled up in a rather soggy pile I turned my attention to the pull-up that was still leaking drips of urine down the inside of my thighs.

I bent down and started to take off my sodden pull-up. I had it around my knees and was grimacing at the smell of ammonia that was assaulting my nostrils when I heard footsteps on the landing. I felt a shiver of horror go through me as I tried to think of a way out of this hell in the few seconds I had left. In the end I did the only thing I could think of doing. I stepped out of the pull-up and hurriedly shoved it under my bed. How I was going to explain all the weirdness I hadn’t quite worked out.

The door opened without a knock and Mom walked in like she owned the place, which I guess she did, but this was still supposed to be me room. Stopping in the doorway she surveyed what must’ve been a very odd scene. Her adult daughter was standing naked next to her stripped bed, the smell of urine wafting across the room and me looking at her like a deer in the headlights.

“What’s all this?” Mom said as she stepped into the room and closed the door behind her.

“I… Erm…” I needed my brain to engage but it was stuck in neutral.

“Where’s your pull-up?” Mom asked.

I swallowed nervously. Under Mom’s intense glare I was quickly wilting. My half-baked plan to hide what I had done had unravelled immediately. I crouched down and reached under the bed. Slowly but surely, I pulled out the soaked disposable underwear. Standing up I held the pull-up in front of me.

“I see.” Mom said. She wasn’t angry like I thought she would’ve been. Instead, her voice was worryingly flat, “And you were trying to hide it?”

I swallowed and then nodded my head. I kept my eyes on the floor where a small wet patch has formed. This was so humiliating.

“Do you remember what happened when you tried to hide the evidence before?” Mom asked.

I froze up. Surely Mom wasn’t referring to what I thought she was. When I had been a teenager and started having accidents, I had tried to hide it just like this. Most mothers, I assumed, would reassure their daughters that everything was alright. Mine decided I need to be punished for not telling her what was going on. I looked up just in time to see Mom’s hand shoot out towards my wrist.

“Stop!” I yelped but it was already too late.

Mom sat down on the edge of my bed and pulled me down across her lap. I flailed but I wasn’t going anywhere, even if I could get off Mom’s lap I had nowhere to go and would likely only make the inevitable punishment worse. That didn’t help me right then though, as my legs kicked up and down like a toddler on the verge of a tantrum.

“When will you learn?” Mom asked rhetorically.

I opened my mouth but the sudden sound of a hand smacking into my backside killed any words before I had the chance to speak them. I immediately tensed up my butt and squealed as I felt the stinging pain spreading quickly underneath the skin. A second spank landed on my other cheek and tears welled up in my eyes. Aside from the pain, this was so humiliating. At twenty-three years-old instead of being out working or having fun with friends I was over my mother’s knees as if nothing had changed in the last couple of decades. My balled up wet bedsheets were right in front of me, a reminder of why this was happening.

I quickly lost count of the spanks. I could feel blood rushing to my head as I let it hang low. I was sniffling and sobbing, occasionally letting out groans as a particularly hard spank landed. By the time it stopped my butt felt like it was black and blue though I was sure it was actually a bright red just like my face. There was silence apart from my light sobs, I wasn’t going to get up unless Mom told me to.

“Have you learnt your lesson?” Mom asked. Despite all the spanking it didn’t sound like she’d exerted herself at all.

I nodded my head.

“I can’t hear you.” Mom said sternly.

“Yes, Mom…” I choked out.

“What did you do wrong?” Mom asked.

I closed my eyes tightly in shame. This was entirely like my childhood punishments. The spanking was always followed by drilling into me what I shouldn’t have done. I felt very small as I continued to balance across my Mom’s lap.

“I… I should’ve told you that I…” This was so incredibly humiliating, “That I wet the bed.”

“That’s right.” Mom said, “And you shouldn’t have tried to hide the evidence.”

“I’m sorry.” I sniffed back the tears that threatened to roll down my red face.

“Alright, get up.” Mom said. She patted my ass a couple of times and although they weren’t nearly as bad as the spanks, on my bruised bottom they still made me wince.

I slowly pushed myself off Mom’s lap and stood up. My hands instantly went to my sore bottom where I gingerly tried to assess the damage. Maybe time had made me forget how much Mom’s spanks hurt but this one seemed more painful than the spankings I had experienced in my youth. I remained in place as Mom got up and went to my drawer where the pull-ups had been left. She pulled one out and returned to me.

“Since I can’t trust you with your pull-ups I will have to put them on you.” Mom said with a put upon sigh.

Mom crouched down and held the padded underwear open. I lifted one leg and slipped it through the hole feeling the papery leg bands against my skin and shuddering. My second foot came up and repeated the process. No sooner had my foot touched the floor then Mom pulled on the disposable causing it to slide up past my knees, over my thighs and then finally settling around my waist.

“Right, go downstairs for breakfast. I have a call to make.” Mom said.

Chapter Text

I started walking over to my closet but Mom reached out and stopped me. I looked at her with a frown, still naked except for the pull-up I was confused until I realised Mom meant I was supposed to go downstairs right away, without getting dressed. My cheeks blazed as I dropped my face towards the ground and started making my way to the kitchen.

It was far too late for me to worry about modesty, but I still found myself trying to cover up as much as I could. One arm automatically went up to cover my breasts as I gingerly sat down on one of the wooden chairs at the kitchen table. My butt complained and I wished I had a pillow to sit on. It felt so strange to be wearing just a pull-up, it was somehow worse than being completely naked.

I waited and Mom came down a few minutes later with her cell phone to her ear. She didn’t so much as glance at me as she went to the cupboards and pulled out a box of cereal.

“Uh huh, yes it’s been happening for a few days now.” Mom said as she prepared breakfast, “OK… Yes, that would be perfect, thank you.”

I watched as Mom put a bowl of cereal in front of me. It wasn’t just any bowl though, I looked up at Mom as if to ask if she was being serious but, unfortunately, it appeared she was. Rather than one of the plain bowls we usually used for breakfast Mom had poured my cereal into a pink bowl that had differently sized red hearts all over it. It was decidedly more childish than what I was used to. Mom seemed to either not notice my questioning glance or chose to ignore it as she hung up the phone and sat down opposite me.

“I’ve made you an appointment with the doctor.” Mom said as if I was a child incapable of making my own appointments.

“Why?” I asked. It didn’t take a lot of hindsight for me to realise that it was a stupid question.

“Because I don’t want you ruining the furniture.” Mom said.

I blushed and ducked my head. I walked right into that one. It was the last thing I wanted though. This was all embarrassing enough, but I wanted to keep it a secret as much as possible. Even letting a doctor know felt worryingly like letting the world know I was having trouble keeping my pants dry.

“So, eat up.” Mom continued, “We got lucky with a cancelation and got an appointment this morning.”

“Yippee…” I muttered as I ate my breakfast in surly silence.

It was getting distressingly normal for Mom to see me naked or with just some humiliating underwear on. She seemed to be completely nonplussed by it, but I kept my eyes away from her. I couldn’t eat my breakfast fast enough and thankfully Mom told me to go and get dressed when I was finally done. I chose a long t-shirt and the baggiest pants I had. Anything that would help to hide what I was wearing underneath.

“Ready?” Mom asked as I came back downstairs.

“No.” I replied as I put my shoes.

“Do you have a spare pull-up?” Mom asked.

“I’m not going to need one!” I angrily replied. I didn’t know how Mom could think I’d need a change of clothes, I’d only had a few accidents. It wasn’t a big deal!

Mom seemed unsure but she opened the door regardless. I followed Mom outside and into the car. It was only as we left the house that I started to think about what was coming. I had no doubt it was going to be a humiliating experience telling a doctor about what was happening to me, the only positive would be if he could help but I had a feeling that there wasn’t much he was going to be able to do. If there was some magic drug that would fix my problem, they would’ve given it to me when I was a kid having the same problems.

We arrived at the doctor’s office far too quickly for my liking and I followed Mom inside. I was going to check-in myself, but Mom spoke up before I could do much more than open my mouth.

“Hello, my daughter has an appointment with Dr. Gilmartin.” Mom said.

I closed my mouth again and looked down in embarrassment as Mom spoke to the receptionist. I guess she didn’t even trust me to be able to do that by myself. I walked away and sat on one of the chairs. The room was half-full but very quiet. Mom came over and sat down next to me. Opposite us was a mother with her young daughter. I couldn’t help but draw parallels between myself and the small girl opposite who also looked like she would’ve preferred being anywhere else. I wondered why she was there. It might’ve even been the same reason I was for all I knew.

“If you need the bathroom just let me know.” Mom said. Her voice felt deafening in the otherwise quiet waiting room.

I wanted to cringe into myself and sink into the ground. I knew where the toilet was, Mom knew I was perfectly capable of taking myself there. I didn’t say anything in response but from the corner of my eyes I could see the girl opposite smiling. I wondered if it was at me. Was she making fun of me? Did she guess why I was there?

I didn’t have long to worry about it as we were called forwards to go to see the doctor. I walked down the corridor feeling very anxious. The doctor was a young man who didn’t look that much older than me, it made me feel even worse about the situation. Here was someone my age thriving with a career and a life whilst I couldn’t keep my pants dry.

“Ah, you must be Alice, come in.” Dr. Gilmartin said, “And who is this?”

“I’m her mother.” Mom said, “Alice wants me in here for the appointment.”

Dr. Gilmartin looked at me, but I could do little more than shrug my shoulders. This was something that hadn’t been discussed. I would’ve preferred to see the doctor alone but, as usual, Mom had decided what I wanted for me. It was easier to just let her stay than cause a whole scene, so I nodded my head mutely.

“OK, that’s not a problem.” Dr. Gilmartin smiled, “Please, sit down, how can I help?”

I opened my mouth to speak but before I could get a single word out Mom, sitting next to me, started to talk.

“She’s having problems with wetting herself.” Mom said with all the tact of a nuclear bomb, “Her pants, the bed, everywhere. It’s been very embarrassing.”

As I sat and cringed at Mom so bluntly describing my issues, I realised that when she described it as “embarrassing” she meant for her, not me. My face was going red as I felt the doctor staring at me.

Mom described everything that had been happening. Each and every accident was described as well as some unnecessary comments about my attitude. I remained silent throughout. I knew I must’ve looked more pathetic than ever, not even able to tell the doctor my problems myself but I didn’t want to start arguing with Mom in the office. It wasn’t like she was wrong about anything she described, it was just the detail and way she did it that made this worse than it had to be.

“I see.” Dr. Gilmartin had written some notes as Mom talked, “Alice, have you been feeling any other symptoms? Any dizziness, headaches, or anything like that?”

“No.” I replied with a little squeak like a mouse being interrogated by a cat.

“I think she’s just being lazy.” Mom interjected just as the doctor was going to ask another question, “She was the same as a teenager.”

The doctor looked at Mom with a thin-lipped face of stone and I suddenly felt a wave of gratitude towards him. He asked more basic questions about medication, alcohol, drugs and smoking. I almost laughed. The thought of my Mom tolerating any of that was ridiculous. Then once he had checked over his notes, he said the words I had truly been dreading.

“Right, I think we’ll need to examine you.” Dr. Gilmartin said, “We also have the equipment to do a scan of your bladder to see if there are any abnormalities. I’ll have a nurse bring it in. The examination will be of a private area so if you would prefer a female doctor, I can call one in.”

“I think you’ll be fine, doctor.” Mom said before I had a chance.

“That’s up to Alice.” Dr. Gilmartin said shortly, “Are you happy for me to perform the examination?”

I’d been left with so few choices to make for myself that I found myself bewildered by this one. My brain was overwhelmed and before I could even think about what I wanted I was nodding my head. The doctor directed me over to the padded table and drew the curtain around it. For once my mother was told no as she was forced to wait on the outside.

A fresh wave of humiliation rolled over me as I pulled down my pants to reveal the pull-up underneath. I could see the doctor was doing his utmost to remain professional, but it clearly took him by surprise. I tried to ignore his obvious shock as I slipped the pull-up down my legs. What I didn’t see, but Dr. Gilmartin definitely noticed, was the slight yellowing of some of the padding.

“OK, I’ll be as gentle as I can.” Dr. Gilmartin said.

I stared at the ceiling willing the doctor to be as quick as possible. He poked and prodded every part of me from the bladder down whilst occasionally stopping to ask more questions. As he was doing this a nurse wheeled something in and left it outside the curtain. I was tense and that wasn’t helped by hearing Mom practically pacing around just out of sight.

“You have some redness and bruising on your bottom.” Dr. Gilmartin commented, “Any idea why that is?”

I felt a cold weight drop into my stomach. Those were the results of my last spanking. I couldn’t tell the doctor I had been disciplined like a four-year-old. I quickly shook my head and looked away. I think Dr. Gilmartin wanted to ask more but chose to remain restrained.

“Right, I’ll just scan you and I should be able to see the images on my computer in a couple of minutes.” Dr. Gilmartin said as he pulled the cart through the curtain.

A cold jellylike substance was rubbed on my lower belly and then a probe was pushed against my skin. The doctor was side on to me and looking down at a small monitor on the machine itself. He sometimes pressed quite hard and on one of those prods I felt a dribble of urine leave me. Thankfully it was no more than a trickle, but I was still very relieved when the doctor was finished, and I was allowed to stand up.

“OK, if you want to get dressed and meet me back at the desk.” Dr. Gilmartin said. He was looking past me to the table I’d just hopped off.

As Dr. Gilmartin left the secluded area I turned to see what he was looking at. On the table, between where my legs would have been, was a very clear wet spot. I could’ve died. I knew I had felt a little leakage, but it had felt like a single drop that wouldn’t even reach the table, instead it had left a mark no one could possibly miss.

I got dressed in the same pull-up I had been wearing before and my pants before stepping into the office at large. Dr. Gilmartin appeared to already be examining the pictures from the scan. Mom looked irritated. I wondered if it was because, for once, she wasn’t able to be in control of the situation. I sat down and hoped that I wasn’t blushing too much.

“Well, from what I can tell there is nothing physically wrong.” Dr. Gilmartin said as he looked through the last image, “Your bladder looks a touch on the small side but I’m not seeing any physical reasons for your problem.”

“Well, that’s good.” Mom said.

“Which leads me to think about emotional issues.” Dr. Gilmartin continued.

Dr. Gilmartin was looking at me and I could practically feel his eyes boring through my head. It was obvious this was where he saw the problem to be, how could it not be when my overbearing mother was sitting right next to me?

“How are things at home?” Dr. Gilmartin asked softly.

“I… They’re good.” I replied quietly.

“Is it just you and your mom?” The doctor continued.

“Yes.” I answered.

“What have these questions got to do with anything?” Mom asked suddenly. Her voice was harsh and abrasive compared to the doctor’s compassionate tone.

“I’m trying to ascertain if there are any stresses or anything tha-…” Dr. Gilmartin began to patiently explain.

“Stresses?” Mom let out a harsh laugh, “If anything she doesn’t have enough stress. She lives a life of luxury at home.”

“Nonetheless…” Dr. Gilmartin tried to speak over the top of Mom. I already knew that wasn’t going to work.

“I don’t believe in any of that quackery.” Mom continued as she stood up, “Come on, Alice, the doctor says there is nothing wrong with you so let’s go.”

“Alice, if you…” Dr. Gilmartin started.

“Come on.” Mom almost shouted over the top.

I stood up. Going against Mom now would mean trouble later. I don’t know if Mom was self-aware enough to know but I understood exactly what the doctor was getting at and agreed. There wasn’t anything physically wrong with me, the problems all stemmed from my mother. I meekly thanked the doctor and followed Mom out of the office. As soon as we were back in the car park, she had a wide smile on her face.

“So, there’s nothing wrong with you.” Mom said cheerily.

I rather thought Mom had missed the point but that was most likely deliberate. I was too humiliated by the whole experience to argue so I got in the car and let her drive me home. I wondered, rather hopefully, that with the confirmation that nothing was wrong with me that I might be able to get a handle on my problems. I just had to convince my brain to chill out and the problem would go away.

Chapter Text

Unfortunately for me, the next few days quickly deflated my optimism. I was still having to run to the toilet, I still found wet marks in my pull-ups and, worst of all, I was still wetting the bed. My pull-ups were not doing a good job of containing these accidents and Mom had even got my old plastic sheet for the bed to save the mattress from more abuse. I cringed when I saw it but there was no arguing about whether it was necessary.

After taking the sheets down after another wet night I dispiritedly went over to my laptop with a fresh pull-up on. I waited for it to boot up and once it reached the desktop I was bombarded with notifications. Kat had been sending me messages but with all the anxiety of the last week or so I had rarely been online to see them. I opened up the messenger and scrolled through the messages.

“Alice!”

“Hello?”

“Are you alright?”

“Hey.”

“I need to talk to you!”

Each message was a day apart. I really didn’t want to speak to my friend. It’s not that I didn’t like Kat, I loved her, but with everything that was going on I didn’t know what to say. I hated lying but it was quickly becoming my default method of communication because the truth was a thousand times worse. I was about to close the messenger when another message came through.

“Alice? Are you online?” Kat asked tentatively.

I rolled my head back and stared up at the ceiling. Now it felt like I couldn’t ignore just Kat. It will have come up on screen that I’d read her message, to close the program now would’ve been very rude.

“Hi Kat.” I typed, “Sorry, I’ve been really busy.”

“That’s cool! Doing anything fun?” Kat asked innocently.

I snorted derisively.

“Not really.” I replied. It was the understatement of the year.

“Oh, that sucks.” Kat added a frowning face to her message, “Hey, guess what!”

“What?” I asked.

“I’m going to be in your town!” I could feel Kat’s excitement as she typed, “I’ve got a job interview in your neck of the woods. We could hang out! You could show me that roller rink you were raving about!”

I swallowed nervously. There was obviously no way I could let Kat come and see me. Mom would humiliate me, not to mention the pull-ups and urgency for the bathroom I frequently experienced. I could still smell the urine in the air from my last bed wetting episode. Kat seemed so excited though, I hated letting her down, but I didn’t feel like I had a choice.

“I’m sorry, Kat…” I typed slowly, “I don’t think I can meet up. I think I’m busy that day.”

“I haven’t told you what day I’ll be there.” Kat replied after a little bit.

I closed my eyes tightly and kicked myself. Now I was making it sound like I didn’t want to hang out with Kat at all. Nothing could’ve been further from the truth. I would’ve loved to meet up with my best friend but I couldn’t do that when things were like this for me.

“I’m sorry. I’m just really busy.” I typed quickly as if that explained the situation.

Before Kat could tell me what a bad friend I was, I shut down my computer again. I put my head against the desk and let out a deep breath. Outside my room I could hear Mom coming up the stairs and just as she reached the top, I felt a very sudden urge in my bladder. I gasped as I clamped my muscles shut and stood up so quickly, I knocked my chair over.

Hurrying out of the room I was just in time to see Mom walking into the bathroom and closing the door. I felt my heart sink. This was really bad. Straight away I started trying to think of alternatives. Could I pee in the garden? No, Mom would notice, and I probably couldn’t get there in time anyway. Could I urinate in the trash can in the corner of my room? No, there were a lot of holes in the mesh and it would go everywhere.

I staggered forwards with my hand clamped to the front of the pull-up that seemed to almost be inviting me to use it. I couldn’t explain how the urge had come on so quickly. Had I needed to go for ages and just not paid attention like a pre-potty-training toddler? Or had my body just got so bad at holding on it was barely even trying? The doctor had said there was nothing wrong, but this didn’t seem normal. Surely it wasn’t all psychological.

“Mom!” I called as I knocked on the door a couple of times. I was trying to sound calm and failing miserably, “Mom!”

“What?” Mom called out.

“I really, really need the toilet!” I exclaimed. Even as the words left my mouth, I felt a trickle of warmth blossoming in my pull-up.

“I’ll be done in a minute.” Mom replied, “You aren’t the only person in this house. Sometimes you have to wait. Honestly, I do-…”
Mom kept talking but I was no longer listening. I had sweat on my forehead and my knees were wobbling as I sunk down a little bit. Tears filled my eyes. Not again. I couldn’t have another accident. Please not again.

No one was answering my prayers. The sphincter holding back the torrent in my bladder weakened and then gave up. My hand was still clamped to my crotch as I felt the rush of urine soaking into my pull-up. I could feel the padding quickly getting warmer and expanding but I knew it didn’t have infinite absorbency. In desperation I tried to tense up again, to stem the flow and at least give the pull-up time to soak some of my accident up before more came but my body was helpless against the flood.

It was inevitable but when I felt the pee running down my thighs I gave up completely. I pulled my hands away to avoid them getting wet and my shoulders sagged. The pants I was wearing grew two huge dark streaks down my legs as the pull-up gave up trying. By the time I had finished wetting myself there was a steady dripping on to the carpet between my feet.

I stayed there silently until the bathroom door opened a minute or so later. I was looking down at the floor, I didn’t need to look up to know how Mom would’ve been looking at me. I waited for the inevitable shouting and wondered if another spanking was coming my way. Instead, she just let out a long and tired sigh.

“Get in there and clean yourself up.” Mom said as she held the bathroom door open for me.

I didn’t wait for a second invitation. I felt utterly gross. I started to gingerly pull down my soaked pants when I realised Mom was still holding the door open. I sheepishly looked back over my shoulder to see her thin-lipped serious expression. She shook her head.

“This is the last time.” Mom said, “Any more accidents and we will have to think of an alternative to help you.”

With Mom’s cryptic warning delivered she let the door close. She didn’t need to tell me to clean the carpet when I was done in the bathroom, that was a given. Right then I didn’t care. I stripped off as fast as possible and jumped into the shower to let the warm water cleanse me. It could do nothing to cleanse my thoughts though. My anxiety at what was happening to me and the worry of what Mom meant by an “alternative” racked my mind nonstop.

---

“Why do I have to come?” I whined as I stood at the foot of the stairs.

“Because I don’t want to leave you home alone.” Mom replied as she picked up her car keys.

“Mom, I’m twenty-three years-old…” I said with a sigh, “I can look after myself.”

“This isn’t up for discussion.” Mom said with a finality that made further argument pointless.
I finished putting my shoes on and waited for Mom. She had to go to the DMV to get her license renewed and why I was forced to join her was a mystery to me. I would much rather have stayed in my room hiding from the world.

“Do you need to use the potty before we go?” Mom asked as she put a hand on the door.

“No.” I replied as my cheeks reddened. I had made sure to go before coming downstairs.

Mom had taken to calling the toilet a “potty.” I wasn’t sure why she was doing it, but it certainly embarrassed me every time. Maybe that was the point. Trying to shame me into being better with my toilet habits. The truth was that in the last few days I’d been running to the toilet increasingly often and, more than once, had to change out of a slightly damp pull-up. Mom’s warning about what would happen if I kept wetting myself still rang in my head though and I always disposed of them as stealthily as possible. I didn’t think Mom had noticed the pull-ups seemingly going missing as I went through them.

The door opened and I followed Mom outside and to the car. I couldn’t help feeling nervous, it seemed totally reasonable to feel that way, I’d been having issues getting to the toilet and so whenever I didn’t have one close by, I felt on high alert. It didn’t seem Mom had any such concerns though. In her view I was an adult, and an adult didn’t have to worry about such things, especially after the doctor gave me a clean bill of health. Hhe thought I was just being lazy.

It was a reasonably short drive but when I saw the parking lot I groaned. The DMV was its own building, and the dozens of cars parked outside the entrance made me think it was going to be very busy. This was confirmed after we parked up and walked inside to see several long queues of impatient looking people.

“Come on.” Mom said apparently undaunted by the number of people ahead of us.

I hated the DMV. It seemed designed to be as slow and inefficient as possible. The different queues were marked off by red rope as Mom joined the one furthest from the door that also seemed the shortest by a marginal amount. And then we waited.

Ten minutes later it didn’t seem like the queue had moved at all. Neither Mom nor I had said a word, and I was bored out of my mind. Yet again I was left to wonder why Mom had decided it was important I accompany her. I looked at the kids that had been dragged here with their parents and looked very annoyed about it and felt a kinship with them.

“How long is this going to take?” I asked.

“I don’t know, Alice, I can’t see the future.” Mom replied.

“Can I go wait in the car?” I continued.

“No.” Mom answered shortly.

I huffed but knew that she wasn’t going to change her mind. People had joined the queue behind us now. We were essentially boxed in with people in front and to our rear whilst the rope was on each side. The only noise was a general murmur of conversation occasionally punctuated by a child’s patience running out and having to be given some attention. The air was filled with a sense of general impatience.

Another ten minutes passed and all I wanted to do was sit down. The air in the office felt stale and the collective heat of everyone left it stuffy. The fact we were so far from the door and the fresh air wasn’t helping matters. By now we were halfway to the desk, but the waiting was interminable and, as much as I wanted it to not be true, I needed the bathroom.

I looked around, craning my neck to see over and around the other people in the room, but didn’t see a bathroom anywhere. With a sigh I knew what that meant. I didn’t exactly want to wet the pull-up, but it was looking like that would be my only option. We stepped forwards another place as the people at the front finished their business and left. I then stood still, closed my eyes and relaxed as much as I could.

A trickle of urine streamed out of me and into the thin pull-up padding. The warmth wasn’t a shock to me at this stage, but it still simply felt “wrong.” I did my best to keep the flow to a minimum so the pull-up wouldn’t leak and, thankfully, by the time I finished the padding had swollen up but still held.

I didn’t get much time to celebrate though as a second later there was a rumbling in my bowels that let me know I wasn’t finished. I swallowed nervously and looked around. My bowel control hadn’t been as bad as my bladder, but I wasn’t feeling confident, especially as the rumbling continued.

“Erm, Mom…” I said slowly, “I think I need the toilet.”

“Well, you’ll have to wait.” Mom said, “Or use your pull-up. It’s what it’s there for.”

“Mom!” I gasped as I looked around. It was clear the people nearest us had heard her. If I hadn’t been so distracted I would’ve curled up into a ball from shame. I continued in a much quieter voice, “It’s… not pee…”

“Then you should be fine waiting.” Mom said without missing a beat, “We’ll be out of here soon.”

I let out a whimper not too dissimilar to a puppy waiting at the door to be let out into the garden. The cramps started coming not long after that, pains that felt like knives in my lower belly making me twist and turn in an attempt to relieve some of the discomfort. The queue moved again, and I stepped forwards. It felt like progress but when I saw there was still three people ahead of us my heart sank.

Chapter Text

Sweat started prickling my skin and I felt exceptionally warm. I was trapped in place, surrounded on all sides and had no way to escape. I was panicking as I looked around desperately for an answer that I knew wasn’t there. I don’t know if Mom sensed my discomfort, but she took hold of my hand, I got the feeling the feeling it was less about helping me emotionally and more about making sure I didn’t run off like an unruly toddler.

The cramps were getting worse, and I was having to focus everything I could on resisting what they wanted. I didn’t pay any attention to how I must’ve looked to other people as I became increasingly fidgety. All my attention was on my bowels which felt like they were about to explode. With a gasp I felt my clenched sphincter slip for just a second, I froze but other than some gas nothing more happened. It actually relieved the pressure a little bit.

I was letting out a small smile as I looked down at my belly when I felt a sudden yank on my arm. The queue moved without me noticing and I was pulled forward stumbling into Mom who looked at me with pursed lips. I barely paid any attention to her because I was experiencing a horrible nightmare.

As soon as I stumbled forwards my attention on my bowels went away for just a second. It was all the time they needed. Immediately a sticky warmth had deposited in the back of the pull-up causing the thin padding to bulge slightly. My mouth hung open. This was really happening. My body used this as an excuse to give up the fight.

I closed my eyes and cringed as my belly muscles pushed down. It was happening without my conscious effort. My body had simply reached its limit and now it seemed to want to take revenge on me for making it so uncomfortable. I moved my legs slightly further apart as horror washed over me like a bucket of ice-cold water.

After waiting so long for release my bowels weren’t hanging around. Poop surged out of me in a semi-solid sludge to fill the back of the pull-up. I could feel the sticky substance against my skin acting like a paste holding the pull-up against me to make it as uncomfortable as possible. At the same time the area between my legs sagged from the weight I was depositing into it.

I let out a soft grunt as my body demanded my unconditional surrender. It just kept coming and there was seemingly nothing I could do to stop it. I bent my knees slightly to make it easier to push it all out. The smell was already leaking out even as I continued to fill my pants. It didn’t seem anyone else had noticed yet, but it was surely only a matter of time. By the time I was finished the pull-up felt like a heavy weight. It was the grossest thing in the world.

“M-Mom…” I said breathlessly as my bottom lip trembled.

“We’re nearly at the desk. Just hold on.” Mom said dismissively. She clearly hadn’t realised the disgrace I’d brought on to myself.

“But… But…” I stuttered. My brain wasn’t working. All it could thing about was what had happened in my underwear.

“What’s that smell?” Someone nearby asked.

“Ugh, great, one of the babies must’ve crapped their pants…” Someone else replied.

“No, the kids are all over there, the smell is too strong for them…” A third person added.

I just wanted the ground to open up and swallow me whole. Surely it was only a matter of time before the real culprit was discovered. I felt so disgusting and the fact that I was the centre of the smell inconveniencing everyone else like the epicentre of an earthquake just made me feel worse. I was fairly certain this was my lowest point. Nothing could ever be worse than this.

“Oh, for goodness’ sake, Alice!” Mom exclaimed, “You really couldn’t wait until we were done? Is your potty control that bad? You’re supposed to be a grown woman!”

There it was. The floor of my rock bottom giving way to show me that things could always get worse. There was no way the people around us didn’t hear Mom, she certainly made no effort to keep her voice down. I ducked my head in shame as my eyes filled with tears. I could feel the eyes of everyone swivelling to look at me.

“Next!” The person at the counter called out.

The line moved forwards and as I took a step, I felt the lumpy mess in my pull-up slipping against me. It was the worst feeling in the world and I wanted nothing more than to get out of the queue and run away. I just wanted to hide where no one could see or hear me. Where no one knew what an embarrassment I was.

“M-Mom…” I choked out between sobs.

“We’re not leaving.” Mom cut me off. She seemed to have no care for the people around us who were far from happy about staying in the stuffy, poorly ventilated room, with the poopy girl.

“But Mom…” I started.

“I’m not coming back here and queueing again.” Mom shook her head, “Besides, knowing you, this would just happen again.”

I hated the way Mom made it sound like this was a regular occurrence. Whilst I practically whispered to her, she spoke at a normal volume, easily overheard by everyone else. I wanted to argue back about how all of this was unfair and that I deserved to be treated better, but it was hard to really convince even myself of that right then.

I sobbed quietly. It was soon obvious that most of the general sound of conversation had disappeared. The room was almost silent except for the people helping customers. I kept my head ducked as the people around us shuffled away and covered their noses.

Finally, the people in front of us left and Mom stepped forwards to the window. With each step I could feel the not insignificant load in my pull-up shifting and slipping against my skin, the feeling was somehow worse than the smell. I just wanted to rip the damn thing off. The woman behind the window clearly knew, as everyone else did, who the source of the smell was. I tried to pull away from Mom to run outside but she kept a firm hold of my hand.

“Hello, I’m here to renew my license.” Mom said as if nothing was wrong.

The next few minutes were excruciating as Mom went through the forms required. We were stood at the window, and I could practically feel the collective disgust the people in all the queues behind us had for me. When I dared to quickly glance behind me, I saw many sets of eyes staring right back. I felt like there was a spotlight on me. No matter how much I wanted all of this to be done so we could just leave as soon as possible the DMV employee seemed just as distracted by me as everyone else and kept making mistakes. My patience was razor thin and I felt like I was close to snapping.

“Alright, that’s processing for you. Expect something in the post in three to five business days.” The employee said to Mom though she kept glancing to me.

“Thank you.” Mom said. She started pulling me away when the cashier spoke up again.

“Erm, excuse me, ma’am.” The employee said, “We have a private bathroom for employees we could escort you to if you need help with your daughter.”

“No, it’s quite alright.” Mom replied. I felt her hand squeezing mine a lot harder, “It’s best she learns her lesson, so she doesn’t do this again.”

I whined. The idea of a bathroom where I could clean myself up sounded heavenly, but Mom was pulling me along the front of all the queues back towards the entrance. I felt like I needed to apologise to everyone. My lack of control had inconvenienced all these people, my inability to be an adult had offended them.

The fresh air was blessed relief. I didn’t quite realise how much I had befouled my surroundings in the building until I was hit in the face with fresh air carried on the breeze. I didn’t get to enjoy it for long. Mom was striding back to her car taking long steps that made me practically have to jog to keep up with.

“Get in.” Mom instructed as she opened the rear passenger side door. It seemed even in the small car Mom wanted as much distance from me as possible.

I stepped in but was hesitant to sit down. Instead, I planted my feet on the floor and pressed my back against the seat to leave me hovering just above the seat. Mom didn’t seem inclined to argue for once as she simply reached in and fastened my seatbelt for me. The door slammed closed, and I let out a shuddering breath. I would never be able to show my face in public again, I’d pretty much accepted that now.

“I can’t believe you.” Mom said crossly as she got into the driver’s seat and closed the door. She wasted no time in lowering the windows.

I looked down between my legs. I could feel the pull-up pulling down heavily, gravity turning my full pants into an anchor. I had been surprised Mom hadn’t shouted at me in the DMV, I guess even she had limits as to how much she wanted to humiliate me. The engine turned on and I felt the seat against my back vibrate. Mom backed out of the parking spot and started to drive home whilst I continued to desperately try to pin myself against the seat.

I almost made it. Almost. We were turned on to a residential road just a couple of blocks from home and I wasn’t paying attention. We hit a speed bump, and I think Mom was going faster than usual, whatever the case it was enough for me to slip. My body dropped a couple of inches, and I felt the bottom of the pull-up touch the seat. The poopy mess brushed against my skin warningly.

Before I could get my bearings Mom took another speed bump so fast that I felt like without the seatbelt I’d have been catapulted. With the seatbelt however it just made me sink further. I could feel the contents of my pull-up oozing and spreading as I slipped down into it. I closed my eyes tightly and knew another bump was coming.

When we hit it, I groaned. I slipped down even further until I was just a small distance from the seat. I could feel my waste getting compressed even more as it spread up towards my lower back and down towards my front. I opened my tear-filled eyes and saw Mom looking in the rear-view mirror. I suddenly felt a flash of anger. It felt like she was doing this on purpose. Well, if she wanted me to be messy then I could do that for her.

I lifted myself up off the seat and then allowed myself to drop down. I landed with a splat that seemed to cover my whole pull-up. I lifted myself up and did it again. In my head, despite the discomfort, I was laughing at Mom. It felt like I was getting one over on her, like I was spoiling her game. She had embarrassed me and now I was going to make everything has tough as possible to clean up. Maybe she would learn her lesson and start treating me with more respect…

“Having fun back there?” Mom asked as we neared our house.

I stopped what I was doing as I looked into her sharp eyes. Suddenly the childish defiance that had prompted such an infantile resistance faded away to be replaced with more shame. Mom didn’t see any of my retaliation. She just saw a girl who had pooped her pants bouncing up and down on it.

“No.” I replied sheepishly.

Mom snorted with derision and I sank into the messy pull-up one more time. It felt like literally everything I did backfired, there was no way to defeat Mom, she was always a step ahead. It had been the same for my entire childhood. I certainly wasn’t doing a lot to help myself against the “immature” allegations.

The car parked up and Mom closed the windows before stepping out. I was moving slower and had just unclipped the seatbelt when the door next to me opened. For a second, I thought Mom was going to yank me out and throw me to the floor, but she simply stood aside and waited for me to get out. As I did so I felt the pull-up sticking to my skin, it was so gross, and I wanted to reach down to peel it away from me but Mom was already leading me towards the front door.

“Go straight up to the bathroom and wait for me.” Mom instructed as she put the key in the lock.

“I can clean myself…” I argued weakly.

“You will do as you’re told.” Mom responded as the door swung open, “I can’t believe you would poop yourself like that just because you didn’t get your own way.”

“I did not!” I argued back, scandalised at the suggestion that I would crap my pants on purpose.

“So, I just imagined you bouncing up and down in your filth, did I?” Mom asked as the front door was closed.

“That… That was different.” I said quietly. It was an act of defiance against my tyrannical mother. Though in hindsight it felt incredibly stupid. Of course, Mom didn’t see the subversion in my actions.

“Get upstairs before I tan your bottom.” Mom said sharply.

I knew it wasn’t an empty threat and this wasn’t an argument I had any chance of winning. With my head bowed low I turned and started trooping up the stairs. At least I would get out of this disgusting pull-up soon, I’d already been humiliated more than anyone on Earth I didn’t think a little more would hurt.

The first thing I did when I reached the bathroom was to open the window. Then I waited. I had assumed Mom would be following me right up, but it seemed she had other priorities. It was so stupid. If anyone else had an accident like I had they wouldn’t hesitate to clean themselves off and move on with their lives. Not me though. No, I had to wait for my Mom to come and “help” me. My burgeoning independence at college felt a million miles away right then. Eventually Mom did come upstairs. I was more than ready to get out of the soiled clothes and wasn’t too concerned about being embarrassed, nothing could be worse than what came before.

“Lift your arms.” Mom instructed.

I did as I was told and Mom pulled my shirt over my head. She reached around my back to unclasp my bra, and I quickly put my hands up over my breast. She rolled her eyes.

“They’re nothing I haven’t seen before.” Mom said with a tired sigh.

“That’s not the point!” I argued.

“Do you want help or not?” Mom asked.

My initial reaction was to say that I didn’t want her help at all. But when I thought about it for a couple of seconds, I realised that I really didn’t want to deal with the disaster zone that was my pull-up. I slowly lowered my hands as Mom unhooked the bra and I let it fall down my arms. I still covered my bare chest. It was an instinctual reaction.

Mom continued undressing me without any help on my part until I was down to just the pull-up. I looked down and quickly wished I hadn’t. The previously white disposable underwear now had large blotches of discolouration. Despite my desperate desire to be rid of the messy pants Mom left them on me for now. Instead, she reached over and turned on the shower letting the water warm up.

“I don’t want you to make a mess.” Mom said seriously, “So step inside the shower and take your pull-up off. You can then step into the water.”

I gingerly stepped into the shower feeling so close to my goal of getting clean but facing the worst part of my ordeal first. I hooked thumbs underneath the stretchy sides of the pull-up and then lowered them down. The smell grew so bad I thought I might throw up. I tried to avoid looking down at the result of my massive accident and instead stepped out of it and straight into the water.

“When you come out of that I want you to put another pull-up on until I get back.” Mom said as she failed to conceal her disgust at having to fish out my used pull-up.

I watched Mom leave the bathroom with nervousness. Where was Mom going? Why was she implying I would need a pull-up only until she got back? I didn’t have time to ask as she had already left the room. My main priority was getting cleaned up anyway. I turned around and let the water hit my back, it started to run down to my ass washing away the poop that had stuck to me. Slowly but surely, I was getting clean again. I closed my eyes and enjoyed having the horribly sticky feeling gradually leave my skin.

The water swirling around my feet was streaked with brown and I continued showering until it eventually ran clear. I still didn’t feel clean, I wasn’t sure I ever would again. Tentatively, I moved my hand behind me and gingerly touched my butt, there was no sign of any foulness.

I stayed in the shower another few minutes. With the poopy pull-up gone I could almost forget what had happened. I never wanted to show my face in public again, but the shower felt like it had a renewing effect on me, allowing time to breathe and start to move past what had been the most humiliating moment of my life.

Chapter Text

After washing my hair and using a little more than usual of my scented body wash, I shut off the water and stepped out into the bathroom. I dried my hair and then wrapped a towel around my chest before stepping out on to the landing that now felt a lot colder than before. I went back to my bedroom and straight over to my chest of drawers. I didn’t trust myself to be unpadded, especially after that morning, so I slipped a pull-up on over my still damp crotch and then sat down in front of my computer with the towel still wrapped around me.

No sooner had I logged in than I was hit by the customary message of greeting by Kat. I responded and she asked me how I was doing. I immediately typed out that I was fine but then I paused. I sat back in the chair as I stared at the screen.

Clearly, I wasn’t fine. I’d never felt less fine. My life was spiralling out of control and somehow my domineering mother had a tighter grip on me now than she did before I went to college. The humiliations, whether caused by the stress or not, weren’t going way either. If anything, things were getting worse for me.

To make matters worse, I felt utterly alone. I hadn’t had many friends growing up thanks to Mom’s strict control of my life. Going to college I had finally made friends and found out who I was, I had people who cared about me. Kat was my best friend and yet it felt like the connection between us was being pulled so tight it was about to tear. I was freezing her out through shame at a time when I had never felt more alone, a time where I desperately needed a friend.

I deleted the message I had typed in and started spilling my guts. I wrote in long paragraphs everything that had happened since I came home. I spared no detail in describing my humiliations and fears about things getting worse, I reached the point I was at, having talked about that morning’s humiliating accident and then I paused again.

The message was there and ready to be sent. All I had to do was press enter and it would fire away down the wires and all the way to Kat’s computer. She would know everything and surely understand why I hadn’t been talking to her recently. My finger hovered over the enter key, but I couldn’t press it. What if she saw the message and instantly blocked me? What if she didn’t want me as a friend anymore? She had signed up to friends with the mature, fun-loving girl she had met at college, not the anxious half-incontinent mess I had become in the short time afterwards.

Downstairs I heard the front door opening. It seemed to make the decision for me. I highlighted the message I had typed out and deleted it.

“Fine.” I said simply, “I have to go.”

I expected either no response or a simple one saying goodbye. That isn’t what happened though. I saw the messenger saying that Kat was typing and then almost immediately there was a response. Several of them, in fact, spread over several short messages that Kat was clearly keen to send before I disappeared again.

“WAIT!” The first message said and then continued in several more, “I saw you were typing for a long time and then you say “fine”? You’ve been acting weird since you got home. What’s going on?”

I didn’t reply. My heart was hammering, and I heard Mom’s footsteps coming up the stairs. I didn’t know what to say. Of course, Kat was right, things weren’t “fine” at all but I had lost my nerve. I couldn’t tell her the truth and sever one of my few contacts to a world outside the house no matter how tenuous the connection became.

“I’ve got to go.” I quickly typed out, “Sorry.”

I shut down the computer before Kat had a chance to reply. I didn’t want any more awkward questions. I decided to go and lay down on my bed with a book, it would probably do me some good to forget about the real world for at least a little bit. No sooner had I opened to where I had left my bookmark than my phone vibrated. I picked it up and was surprised to see it was a text message from Kat.

“If something is going on you know you can tell me.” Kat had typed.

I quickly swiped the text away and put the phone back on my bedside table. I did indeed know that I could speak to my best friend about nearly anything, but I considered this an exception. It was pointless worrying her, there was nothing she could do, and I hadn’t given up hope that things might suddenly get better on their own.

Kat must’ve got the message because she didn’t try to message me again. I tried to immerse myself in the fantasy world of my book, but it was difficult to do, my brain was still focusing on the real world. Everything from my ultimate humiliation earlier that day to Kat’s messages floated around my head endlessly. Eventually I must’ve fallen asleep because I suddenly came to with the sound of the front door closing. My book was still open and laying on my chest. I checked the clock to see that it was nearly dinner time.

“Alice!” Mom called, “Get down here!”

My first thought was that Mom had found something else to complain at me for. I placed the bookmark in between the pages of the novel I was reading and put it next to my phone. I stood up and walked downstairs feeling nervous, I couldn’t remember doing anything that contravened one of Mom’s rules but if there was something I could be sure she’d find it.

“Alice, could you help set the table for dinner.” Mom said. She was standing at the kitchen counter and had seemingly brought home takeaway, that was very unusual, but I assumed she didn’t think she’d have time to cook.

As I quietly got to work getting out plates and cutlery I noticed another bag. This one was opaque, and I couldn’t see what was in it. Mom had left it on the counter a little apart from the food, I immediately didn’t have a good feeling about it as I turned back to my assigned task. When I put the plates down Mom started dishing out the food. She’d brought home a delicious looking Chinese meal for us both, my mouth was watering immediately. I worried that there was an ulterior motive as to why this was happening.

“Thanks Mom.” I said quietly as I sat down in front of my plate.

“Eat up.” Mom replied, “Then we have something to discuss.”

There it was. The familiar lead weight of worry dropped into my stomach. I didn’t know what Mom wanted to talk about, but I could be almost certain that I wouldn’t like it. My eyes drifted back over to the bag on the counter.

I picked up my knife and fork and started eating. Though the food was delicious I felt little in the way of appetite. I was too worried to really enjoy what I was eating no matter how good it nominally was. We ate in silence with my eyes continually flicking over to the bag, I wished Mom would just tell me what was going on, the tension was making everything so much worse. I finished my meal first and had to sit and wait for Mom, when she was finally done, she started picking up the plates and cutlery. My foot was tapping on the floor impatiently.

“So, Alice, after you embarrassed me this morning…” Mom started.

“I embarrassed YOU!?” I exclaimed before I could stop myself.

“Of course you did.” Mom replied with a shake of her head, “How do you think I felt that my adult daughter soiled herself like that?”

My mouth hung open. I couldn’t believe Mom was making this about her. I was the one who had been humiliated and yet she was claiming to be the hurt party. Her lack of consideration for me was astounding, I was so shocked that I ended up lost for words. My mouth opened and closed uselessly as I shook my head.

“Anyway, as I was saying…” Mom said as if my interruption had been without reason, “After what happened at the DMV this morning, I’ve decided we need to make changes.”

I waited. I didn’t like the sound of this at all and as Mom got up to retrieve the plastic bag I liked it even less. The bag was placed on the kitchen table before she reached into it for a large rectangular package. I held my breath but when I saw what she was pulling out I was unable to hold my tongue at all. Diapers! She was pulling out a pack of diapers!

“No!” I exclaimed as I pushed my chair back from the table, “Absolutely not!”

“This isn’t a choice.” Mom replied as she set the packet down on the table.

I looked at the thin plastic with disgust. Cuddlebutts didn’t exactly sound like the most grown-up and medical incontinence wear around. In fact, the more I looked at them the more I noticed other differences. There was no wetness indicator, there was no pretence that these were for small medical problems. These diapers had a smiling puppy face on the front and an equally happy bunny one on the back. They looked like diapers for helpless babies. I’d never seen anything like them. Surely if they were for babies there was no way they would fit me.

“Like I said, this isn’t a choice.” Mom said as I remained frozen like a statue, “Those pull-ups are designed only for small leaks. What you’ve been doing to them is not what they were made for.”

“I… I… You can’t…” I had so many objections it was hard to get my mind to focus on any of them.

“I can and I will.” Mom said, “I’ll put you in one for bed and then I think it’s best you stay in them until you learn to keep your pants clean.”

“But… How will I use the toilet?” I asked. I felt sick and a little dizzy, “I can’t just pull those down.”

“It’s not like you were doing that anyway.” Mom replied. Her stinging jibe at my various accidents hurt but it was also untrue. I had still used the toilet plenty of times, “Now, there will of course be rules. I want you to come to me when you need to be changed, I don’t think I can trust you quite yet to do it yourself.”

“Mom, please…” I sniffed as my eyes filled with tears. This was a worst-case scenario. I was seriously contemplating leaving and just living on the streets instead of complying with her demands.

“It’s only for the short term.” Mom said as if I was being unreasonable to complain, “As soon as you start acting like an adult again you can have your panties back.”

I had nothing left to say. I stared at the packet of diapers like a person might stare at a gun pointed right at them, they felt like the end of everything I knew. Mom had said they were temporary but so far every change she had made had stuck. I didn’t know how I could move forwards, I felt trapped.

“How… How can I prove I can… act like an adult again?” I asked as tears threatened to roll down my face, “If I can’t take that diaper off? If I can’t use the toilet?”

“I want you to come to me and tell me when you need to go potty.” Mom said as if this was a reasonable thing to say to your adult daughter, “That way you can show me you know when you need to go.”

I baulked at the idea of running to Mom every time I needed the bathroom. Surely, she couldn’t expect me to actually do that. As I looked into her eyes I saw no hint of a joke. My shoulders slumped. This was really happening. How had I sunk this far?

“Now, take them up to your room.” Mom said as she pushed the packet across to me, “We’ll sort them out before bedtime. I don’t want to hear another word about it.”

I remained in my chair for several more seconds trying to really process what was happening. It felt sort of surreal. The package in front of me was brightly coloured and the thin plastic did very little to conceal what was inside. I could see the ridges of individual… I couldn’t even bring myself to say the word.

“Mom, this is too much!” I said. The note of desperation was clear even in my own voice. I could feel the tears welling up and no matter how much I tried to keep my composure they were threatening to fall.

Mom walked around the table, and I couldn’t react in time. She pinched my ear, and I squealed as she, none too gently, “suggested” I stand up. I was still squealing as she bent me over the table. The skirt I was wearing was flipped up and the pull-up pulled down revealing my bare backside.

“No! Mom! I’m sorry!” I exclaimed from my awkward position. Even with my head turned to the side I could barely get my words out.

The first spank quickly shut me up. The old familiar feeling of the stinging slap sending shockwaves through my body. The second made me shudder and tense my backside. The third caused the first sobs and after that everything became a blur. At first, I maintained my composure even as my ass was tanned by my Mom’s hand, but that didn’t last for long. Soon I was struggling against her and kicking my legs out. Tears and snot ran down my face and into my hair that was covering my face as I begged for mercy.

By the time Mom had finished I was panting hard and my butt had gone numb. I knew from experience the numbness was preferable to what would come afterwards. The stinging and potential bruising. Mom’s hands let me go and I collapsed back on my chair. She handed me some tissues and I cleaned myself up as best I could.

“You need to listen to me. I’m just trying to help you.” Mom said casually.

I said nothing. It didn’t feel like I was getting help. In fact, it seemed like Mom was actively making the situation worse whether she knew it or not. I swallowed hard as I reached forwards and picked up the diapers. I felt disgust at what was inside. The thin packaging held the diapers tightly together making the whole thing feel solid. My fingers traced some of the ridges and I winced at just how big the disposables felt.

I wasn’t going to defy Mom any longer. Not whilst she was in such a punishing mood. Instead, I pulled up my pull-up, picked up the diapers and carried them up to my room. When I dropped them on the bed I turned away in disgust. It was horrible to think that in a matter of mere hours I would be taped up in one. The independent Alice who had learned so much at college felt a million miles away from what was happening in that house.

Chapter Text

I was restless for the rest of the evening. I didn’t want to go downstairs where Mom was and risk something more happening, but I didn’t want to stay up in my bedroom where the diapers seemed to loom large in my attention. I considered going out, but I didn’t really have anywhere to go and I couldn’t even distract myself with my computer as I was trying to avoid Kat who was clearly suspicious something was going on. I couldn’t deal with her questions at that moment.

Time was not on my side though and I was still hiding in my room when Mom knocked on the door. She didn’t wait for me to tell her to come in, the door opened, and I turned to see her standing in the doorway.

“It’s time for bed.” Mom announced.

“It’s still early.” I replied, looking for a way to delay the inevitable, “I was going to stay up for a while.”

“You can stay up as long as you want.” Mom said, “But I need to make sure you put your diaper on before I go to bed.”

“Why!?” I exclaimed.

“Because I want to make sure you do it properly.” Mom answered.

I glowered at Mom but didn’t dare taking things any further. I didn’t have any options open to me. I simply bowed my head as I walked over to the bed. I pulled down my skirt and then climbed on to bed. I used my cover to hide myself whilst sliding my pull-up down, Mom didn’t know it was a little soggy. I knew Mom had seen everything before, but I was determined to try and preserve at least a little dignity.

The packet of diapers was ripped open, and I looked inside with disgust. The diapers were tightly packed, when my shaking fingers felt the smooth plastic of the disposable I automatically recoiled as if they had shocked me.

“C-Could I have some privacy?” I asked as I looked up at Mom.

Mom rolled here eyes but at least turned around. I swallowed nervously as I pulled out a diaper. The packet was so tightly packed that it took a surprising amount of force to extricate one. Once I did, I dropped it on to the top of the cover. I don’t know what I expected but it looked very similar to the diapers that were put on babies, they even dad cartoony pictures printed all over them. Surely, diapers for adults would be plainer.

“Why does it have pictures?” I whined.

“I thought they looked fun.” Mom replied simply.

“Fun” wasn’t exactly what I would use to describe anything about what was going on. How could any diaper be considered fun? Clearly, I would still have hated diapers that were plain and white but that would’ve been better than what was on the bed in front of me.

I unfolded the padding and when it was laid out it looked massive. It definitely looked like it would be too big. I checked to make sure Mom was still looking away before throwing back the covers. I had never put a diaper on before and I fumbled a little as I opened the wings and then sat on it. Even when it was flat on the bed, I could feel that the padding was thicker than the pull-ups I was used to. It took a couple of efforts to put myself in the right place and then to pull the padding up between my legs.

The diaper felt like it was swamping me. I could only guess where the tapes were meant to go since I had never done it before. I placed them where I supposed they would be best suited and then slowly stood up. Mom was still facing the other way, but I crinkled so loudly that she turned around to look at me. They felt thicker and louder than I had even imagined.

“Let me check.” Mom said as she marched into the room.

I stood still feeling my cheeks blaze as Mom bent over in front of me. She pressed the front of the diaper against my belly and then hooked a finger over the waistband, when she pulled it, I could feel the disposable shifting against me. I heard her murmur something before sighing.

“Too loose.” Mom said with a shake of her head, “Much too loose. You’ll leak everywhere like this.”

“I…” I started to try and argue against Mom’s lack of faith in me, but I didn’t get far.

Mom pulled the tapes off the front. I was jerked forwards slightly as she tightened the diaper up and placed the tapes closer to the centre of the diaper. I didn’t know if it was how tight they should be, but I could certainly feel it hugging my body much tighter than the pull-up did.

“That should do it.” Mom said as she stood back up, “Now remember, if you need the bathroom come and find me, alright?”

“I thought you were going to sleep.” I replied.

“I am.” Mom nodded her head and rubbed my arm, “But, let’s face it, you’re probably not going to stay dry through the night.”

My mouth fell open at Mom’s embarrassing statement. She wasn’t wrong, that was the worst part, but she didn’t need to make it sound like such a foregone conclusion. She really had zero faith in me staying dry.

“Goodnight.” Mom said. She leant in and gave me a peck on the cheek before pulling back and leaving the room.

I didn’t want to move from where I was standing. I looked down at the diaper and felt like I was at my lowest ebb. Just taking a couple of steps away from my bed when I had got up had shown just how obvious the disposable was. It was loud and bulky, it rubbed against me with every movement, and I could’ve sworn it even had a certain babyish smell. I hated it already. Every fibre of my being wanted to tear it off and throw it away.

My original plan had been to stay up and enjoy some time alone and in private, but it felt like the energy had been sucked out of me. I didn’t want to stay up when all I could think about was the diaper. How had I let things get this bad?

With a sigh I walked over to the door and closed it. The crinkling was so loud, I was cringing the whole way. There was no chance I could wear one of these in front of other people without being noticed, I doubted even my baggiest clothes would help. I started to feel anxiety spreading over me. How on Earth was I ever going to keep those things a secret? I felt tears prickling my eyes as I tried to get my breathing under control again.

Climbing into bed I pulled the covers over me and stared up at the ceiling. I could feel the sheets gliding over the smooth service of the disposable which made me a little curious. Underneath the duvet and feeling like I was doing something I shouldn’t, I slipped my hands down and felt the outside of the padding. It had a plastic feel that reminded me of carrier bags, it was also very puffy. I could push it in and feel the air rush out of it. It didn’t feel like my old panties or the pull-ups, they were very distinctly diapers, like a pillow wrapped in a plastic bag.

Sleep was hard to come by that night. The bulk between my legs wouldn’t leave my mind and no matter how I laid I couldn’t stop feeling the wad of absorbent material between my legs. In the end it was several hours later that sheer exhaustion finally overwhelmed me and I drifted off into an uneasy sleep.

It felt like no sooner had I closed my eyes than I was feeling a strange pressure on my diaper. I whined and rolled over towards the wall, but the pressure followed me. I slowly opened my eyes as I came to a realisation of what was happening.

“You’re soaked.” Mum’s voice made me freeze up, “But the bed is bone dry. Excellent.”

The hand left my padded butt, and I quickly sat up. At some point in the night the cover had come off me leaving my diaper exposed, I quickly pulled the duvet back over me for all the good it did. The damage had already been done. I had been woken up with a diaper check from Mom!

As I woke up, I started to notice the very real difference in my diaper compared to before I fell asleep. It had bulked up considerably more, it had already seemed big but now I couldn’t even press my knees together thanks to how thick the wad of absorbent padding was. It felt warm and heavy as well, even sitting on my bed I knew it would be hanging from my hips if I stood up. Lastly, but perhaps the thing that made me feel worst of all, was the smell. A heavy smell of urine was wafting up from my crotch and it made me feel unwell, it was like I was standing in a public bathroom that hadn’t been cleaned in far too long. The only difference was that I was wearing this bathroom.

“Well, I’m very glad the diaper did its job.” Mom said with apparent excitement, “Aren’t you?”

“Delighted.” I muttered sarcastically, “May I get changed?”

“Of course.” Mom answered.

I knew Mom well, so I wasn’t surprised when she didn’t turn away. She wanted to complete my humiliation. Whether she thought it would help me get better or not I don’t know but she wasn’t going anywhere.

I pulled back the covers and looked down at the diaper. I was surprised at how big my accident was. Without the diaper it seemed like the whole bed would’ve been swimming. As it was the diaper had become swollen and the wetness indicator lines had changed colours and blurred, large parts of the formally white padding now had a distinctive grey colour. I had to admit, as much I hated the diaper, it had done an admirable job containing my nighttime wetting.

When I stood up things only got worse. My spirits were sinking faster than the Titanic as I took a step and found my inner thigh chafing on the disposable. I had to spread my legs slightly further apart and felt the disposable hanging low as I waddled across the room to my dresser. This all felt so strange, the diaper swung back and forth as I walked, and I knew Mom must’ve been watching me with a big smile on her face.

At the dresser I pulled open the top drawer. My panties had long been abandoned by that point, replaced by the pull-ups which now didn’t seem nearly as bad as they had once done. I took one of the pull-ups but heard Mum clearing her throat.

“I don’t think so.” Mom said.

“Why not?” I whined.

“After what you’ve done to that diaper, I don’t think you can be trusted with pull-ups.” Mom said. She reached under the bed and slid the packet of diapers out. When she stood up straight with one held in her hand I shivered, “Not until you prove you can be trusted with them, at least.”

“That’s too much!” I complained, “Look, I know I need… assistance. But these are too big, and everyone will know I’m wearing one! Please, I’m not going to have an accident like that whilst I’m awake!”

“Alice, you will put that pull-up back and come over here right now.” Mom said as she dropped the fresh diaper on my mattress.

This was awful. I felt like a toddler having a tantrum. It was pathetic how I was begging to be allowed to wear pull-ups as if they were some big grown-up option. My face flushed red, and my eyes filled with tears. I shouldn’t have needed to prove that I didn’t need diapers during the day. I’d never needed them before; it was just a couple of accidents…

“Just let me wear a pull-up!” I was desperately trying not to cry and was only semi-successful.

“You will get the pull-up when you prove you can handle them.” Mom stated, “Now get ove-…”

“It’s not fair!” I shouted. For good measure I stomped my foot against the floor.

I’d made a terrible mistake. It was a lesson I had learned as a child and had never forgotten. Shouting at Mom was a big no-no and as she started advancing to me with a stony frown I backed away against the drawers. My diaper was quickly becoming the least of my concerns but as Mom covered the short distance between us, I continued backing away along the wall towards the corner of the room.

“No! Mom, I’m sorry!” I pathetically begged.

“You will be.” Mom replied darkly.

I whimpered. I was an adult. This shouldn’t have been happening to me. I kept trying to babble apologies and justifications, but the damage was already done. Mom grabbed my arm and pulled me back over to the bed. I tried to wrench my arm free but was entirely unsuccessful. Mom sat down on the edge of the bed and yanked me forwards over her lap.

My legs and arms flailed but I wasn’t going anywhere. Mom’s hand pressed against the back of my wet diaper and pulled back, I tensed up and waited for the inevitable. I wasn’t kept in tension for long. Mom’s hand came forward and smacked against the padding on my butt. It didn’t hurt much, the disposable was at least useful for something, but the noise it made and the feeling of the wet diaper getting pressed against my skin made me grimace.

The spanking was short-lived but before the end I was sobbing. I felt so utterly humiliated and ashamed. My legs and arms continued to flail, and the spanking only ended when they fell limp. By that point my butt was stinging slightly despite the padding protecting me.

I climbed off Mom’s lap and stood with my face pointed straight down. The morning was only a few minutes old, but it already felt like yet another humiliating day in a long chain of them. Mom brushed off her lap and then stood up. She pointed at the diaper, and I silently nodded my head in acceptance.

Chapter Text

Thankfully, Mom left the room after my punishment was complete. It seemed that she was confident the lesson had been driven home. I sat down on the edge of the bed and looked again at the diaper. I couldn’t believe I’d soaked it so completely. I felt like a nervous wreck and whether that was what had started the problem or not it only seemed to be getting worse.

Deciding I had better get changed before Mom came back to check on me, I pulled at the tapes on the diaper. They came apart with a loud tearing noise that made me cringe. It sounded so loud I expected even downstairs, Mom would’ve heard it. I pulled the front of the disposable away from my body and immediately smelt the air getting worse. With no diaper to hold it back the ammonia smell of urine almost made me choke. I looked down and saw the yellowed padding, the moisture against my skin felt chilly whereas the padding itself was still very warm. It felt good to stand up and be out of the diaper though. A few seconds of normalcy before I taped a new one on.

I wasn’t entirely sure what I was doing as I balled the diaper up and used the tapes to hold it closed. I dropped it on the floor and looked at the fresh disposable. I couldn’t help feeling a sinking feeling, that this was just the start. I wanted the diapers to be temporary until my issues improved but there was a nagging voice telling me they wouldn’t. I thought about wearing diapers for good and it sent a chill down my spine.

“You don’t need them.” I said to myself in an attempt to calm my nerves, “It IS temporary.”

I taped the new diaper on in the same way I had done the previous night. When I stood up it became clear how much louder they were when dry. It was a little loose again too, I seemed to have real trouble working out the tapes. There was no way I was going to ask Mom to help me though. I got dressed and went downstairs for breakfast feeling keenly aware of just how loud my diaper sounded to me.

---

Awkward. That was how I would describe things now. It was impossible to forget about the diaper between my legs when it invaded every one of my senses. Unfortunately, Mom wasn’t going to let me mope around and hide upstairs, I had to go down to the living room and act as if everything was normal. Mom was sat in her armchair, dozing off in front of the television, whilst I had the couch, it was far from comfortable as I did everything I could to avoid moving a muscle, to avoid a single crinkle.

There were some things that couldn’t be avoided forever though. I needed the toilet. Even worse, I needed to poop. I knew that by Mom’s rules that meant I was supposed to tell her, and she would help me go to the bathroom. The thought of doing that made me shiver. I still had some pride left!

I looked over to Mom to see that her eyes were closed. Maybe I had a chance. I moved as slowly as I could whilst bearing in mind that I needed to get the bathroom before I ended up having an accident regardless. Every small crinkle made me wince, it all felt extremely loud to me. Somehow, I was able to get up and out of the room without Mom stirring. Once I was out of the bedroom, I walked quickly upstairs with the need for the toilet seemingly growing the closer I got to it.

I reached the bathroom and quickly pulled down my pants. I had to be a bit more careful with the tapes of the diaper which made loud ripping sounds as they came off the front of the disposable. Undoing the top two fasteners was enough to be able to shimmy the padding down my legs so that I could sit down and do my business.

Once I was finished and cleaned up, I actually felt rather accomplished. I pulled the diaper back up and Mom would never know what happened. Any chance I got to sneak away like that I would take it, the risk of getting caught was well-worth avoiding the humiliation of having to ask Mom to take me to the toilet like a three-year-old.

I got the diaper back up and did my best to tape it up. It didn’t quite feel right, not as tight as when Mom did it, but it would do. I crept back downstairs and quietly sat back down. Mom hadn’t moved an inch, and I couldn’t help but smile at my small act of rebellious victory. I put my feet up on the couch and laid back, a nap seemed like a good idea, and I closed my eyes with the quiet sounds of the TV lulling me into a relaxed sleep.

When I was suddenly jolted back to consciousness I didn’t know if I had been laying on the couch for a couple of minutes or a couple of hours. All I knew was that something felt very wrong. With my eyes still closed I tried to work out what the problem was. The diaper felt warm, and I felt my breath catch in my chest as I realised I had wet myself, but that wasn’t so bad with the diaper on, at least I had been prepared. But then I moved a little and felt the couch cushions underneath me. They were wet.

I couldn’t help but gasp and clamp a hand to my mouth as I quickly sat up. Looking down I could see that my pants had a large stain and so too did the couch. Straight away I started thinking about how I could hide what had happened, but I knew it was hopeless, there really was only one explanation and Mom would know that as soon as she saw what had happened. It was only a matter of time. The only choice was whether I told Mom what had happened myself or waited for her to find out. Maybe owning up to everything would get me a little credit. I turned to face Mom and took a deep breath as I tried to calm my nerves.

“Mom?” I said with a shaky voice.

“Hmm?” Mom grunted sleepily without opening her eyes.

“Mom, I…” I didn’t know how to put this, “I… had an accident.”

“That’s OK.” Mom replied, “The diapers are there for that.”

“No, Mom, it’s… I… Well, I leaked.” I finally said. I looked down at the floor in shame and embarrassment at the admission.

Mom may have been asleep just a few seconds ago but she was quickly standing up and walking past me to the couch. I closed my eyes tightly and tensed up. Mom didn’t say anything as she moved back to stand in front of me. She leaned down and roughly yanked my pants down, my knees shook as my diaper was exposed.

“What’s this?” Mom demanded to know.

“I… I d-don’t know what you mean.” I stuttered.

I expected Mom to shout at me. What I didn’t expect was her to grab my wrist and pull me over to the armchair I had been sitting in. She sat down and pulled me across her lap, it didn’t seem she minded that I was now leaking on her a little, maybe she was too angry to notice.

I had barely had a chance to get ready for what was about to happen when a spank pushed me forwards and made me yelp. The thicker padding protected me somewhat, but I could still feel Mom’s hand clearly. As it compressed the padding it squeezed out some of the urine which tickled my skin as it ran down to the front of the diaper. My poor ass was already bruised as it started receiving a fresh smacking.

Mom alternated spanks. One would be on my left cheek and the next on the right one. All I could do was make exclamations of pain and kick my legs out. It felt like the padding was getting compressed by the sheer number of smacks until it felt like it was offering no protection at all. When Mom finally stopped, she still prevented me from standing up. I had tear all over my face and my hair was plastered to my cheeks. I must’ve looked like a complete mess.

“Tell me.” Mom said, “Why am I spanking you?”

“Because…” I sniffed back tears that were shimmering in my eyes, “Because I leaked.”

“Wrong.” Mom replied.

“I… Ah! Wait!” Before I had a chance to think about why Mom was truly upset the spanking had restarted.

My ass had already been stinging and the small break in my punishment had allowed all the blood to return to the surface. So, when Mom started spanking me again it was even more painful. This time my emotions started to get the better of me and the tears I had been valiantly holding back poured down my face. Losing my composure completely I started bawling as I fell limp across Mom’s lap. The spanking didn’t relent until my face was a mess of tears, saliva, and snot. I was in such a state I didn’t even realise when Mom had initially stopped. My whole butt had gone a strange kind of numb, but I knew the pain would be back with a vengeance when the blood returned.

“Try again and think about it this time.” Mom said, “Why are you being spanked?”

My initial thought was to reply “Because you’re an overly strict bitch who expects too much” but I swallowed the words back down. I was pretty sure if I said them, I wouldn’t be able to walk for a month. Instead, I realised my mistake from the last time I had been asked the question. The leak wasn’t the issue, it was the result of the real problem.

“B-Because…” I stuttered as my sobs interrupted me, “I didn’t come to you when I needed the toilet… and I took my diaper off without permission.”

“Correct.” Mom said. She leaned back meaning the pressure was off my back, “Did you think I wouldn’t be able to tell you had messed with your diaper? So, what will you do in the future?”

I climbed off Mom’s lap and crouched on the floor wincing. The feeling was returning to my posterior and along with it was the stinging pain that seemed to go deep inside me. The whole area felt like it was throbbing. I slowly climbed to my feet with both hands behind me on the back of my diaper gingerly rubbing and wincing.

“I’ll… follow the rules.” I said as I looked at the floor.

“Be more specific.” Mom demanded, “What will you do?”

“Oh, come on!” My emotions were out of whack, and I looked up at Mom with anger, “This is ridiculous! I’ve got the point!”

“How dare you talk back to me!” Mom stood up from the couch, “Wait right there, young lady.”

I’d really made a mistake. I closed my eyes and cursed myself for letting my anger get the better of me. I should’ve just jumped through the hoops Mom set up for me and retreated to my room, instead it was all going to continue. I just couldn’t seem to help making trouble for myself.

Mom left the room and stomped upstairs. I was left to worry about what was going to happen. I thought for sure Mom was retrieving a paddle or something, my already bruised butt trembled in fear at more abuse.

A couple of minutes later Mom returned. I chanced a look and saw she was carrying another diaper as well as baby powder and wipes. I actually thought I was getting off lightly, a diaper change would’ve been very welcome right then, not a punishment at all.

“Open up.” Mom demanded as she placed the changing supplies on the couch.

“I…” I wasn’t sure what Mom meant but the moment I went to speak I felt something being shoved into my mouth. It took me a couple of seconds to realise what it was. My eyes widened as Mom held the item against my lips.

“If you can’t help talking back then you can suck on that.” Mom said, “Maybe it will teach you some manners. If you’re going to have tantrums like a baby, then you can act like one.”

It was a pacifier. My mouth was filled with the taste of latex and the plastic mouth guard bobbed against my lips. I looked up at Mom begging for mercy, but she was already turning back and lifting up an old vinyl changing mat, it must’ve been last used when I was a baby.

“You’ll keep that in unless I tell you otherwise.” Mom said as she laid out the mat on the floor, “And I don’t just mean tonight.”

I whimpered. Mom was expecting me to keep a pacifier in my mouth like some kind of toddler. I’d really made a mess of things for myself. My saliva had soon coated the bulb lying on my tongue which at least took away the bad taste, but it felt unnatural. It felt as if there was an invader in my mouth and every urge I had was to spit it out.

“Get down here.” Mom demanded once the old changing mat had been laid out.

Any fight I had previously was gone. I got down on my back with my feet on the floor either side of Mom who was on her knees just below my diaper. I had been through a lot of embarrassments in the previous few weeks but having Mom change my leaky diaper on the floor whilst I sucked on my pacifier was taking things to another level. I was feeling less like an adult who had experienced a few accidents and more like a naughty toddler just after a tantrum. I could only imagine what Ket would’ve said if she saw me like that.

“I can’t believe I’m having to do all this at your age.” Mom said crossly.

“You don’t-…” I started. My words were slurred slightly from the pacifier.

“Quiet. Little girls are to be seen and not heard.” Mom stated.

I wanted to argue but didn’t dare. I just quietly sniffed and chewed on the pacifier as Mom opened up my diaper. I lifted my hands and covered my face in embarrassment as Mom started to change me. I couldn’t believe the depths to which I was falling to. In my worst nightmares I hadn’t considered that coming home to Mom was going to be as bad as it was. Not for the first or last time, I wondered how on Earth I had found myself in this position.

Mom continued to mutter darkly about how I broke the rules as she used baby wipes to clean me up. When she rubbed them over my backside I winced, I didn’t think I’d be able to sit down comfortably for a while. It seemed to take forever before I was finally in a fresh diaper. I quickly tried to grab my clothes to cover it up, but Mom snatched them away from me.

“Since I can’t trust you to not touch your diaper without permission you will keep it on display.” Mom stated, “That way we can avoid more leaks, and I’ll know when you need to change.”

I wanted to argue but could only suck on my soother. Mom’s brutal logic may have been twisted but it made sense. There was nothing I could say or do to make things better for myself, I only ever made my situation worse. As soon as Mom was finished, I hurried out of the living room. My diaper crinkled loudly with every movement and with no clothes in the way there was nothing to dampen the noise. I sat at her computer and did my best not to move a muscle. I wiped my face with the tissues on my desk and tried to get a handle on my emotions, they seemed to be all over the place. As soon as my messenger loaded up, I saw I had a lot of messages from Kat.

“Where are you?”

“Is everything OK?”

“Talk to me!”

The messages spread over a long period of time. I had really been trying to avoid my best friend as much as possible and I cursed that she was such a good person that she wouldn’t just abandon me. There was no way I could explain to her what was going on.

I contented myself with a quick reply saying things were fine. I knew it wasn’t convincing, but I hoped it would at least stop Kat from prying. As soon as the message was sent, I closed the messenger and started playing a game. It felt good to be able to actually forget about my real life for a little bit. With my headphones on I couldn’t even hear the diaper as I played. For a glorious little while everything felt normal, even if I did still have the pacifier in my mouth. I couldn’t risk taking it out and being caught by Mom.

I played for as long as I could but eventually felt a need for the toilet. I paused my game and took a deep breath. I knew already that this was about to be one of the most humiliating moments of my life and, after recent events, that was saying something.

Even though I knew I couldn’t put it off forever I still waited for as long as possible before I stood up. As soon as I did so I knew I had risked waiting too long. Gravity took hold, and my bladder sphincter started to strain under the effort of holding back the flood. My hands went to my crotch, and I started running from the room. My control, which had been far from good recently seemed to be getting worse and worse. Just standing up was putting an intolerable pressure on my bladder. I spat out the pacifier which landed on my desk.

“Mom! Mom!” I shouted, “I need the bathroom!”

I was blushing hard as I shouted like a potty-training toddler. I danced from one foot to the other but after a few seconds I was still waiting for Mom to respond. With a moan I started hurrying down the stairs as fast as I dared.

“Mom!” I shouted again in desperation.

“What is it? What’s all this fuss?” Mom asked as she appeared at the bottom of the stairs.

“I need the bathroom!” I exclaimed, “Right now!”

Why had I left it so late!? Curse my stubborn attempts to delay inevitable humiliation! My hands were pressing over the front of my diaper whilst my legs crossed. I was doing anything and everything I could to stop from wetting myself right there on the stairs. Even then I wasn’t sure how effective I was being, I felt like I was seconds away from my bladder releasing regardless.

“Come on then.” Mom said as she pointed up the stairs.

I turned around and moved as quickly as I could. It was difficult, I could no longer run as I was sure I would lose control if I did. Instead, I had to take small shuffling steps whilst pressing my legs together as much as possible. I was whining without noticing and when I crossed the threshold into the bathroom, I looked at the toilet longingly. It was the promised land. So close and yet still so far away.

Mom was taking her time coming up the stairs and as I neared breaking point, I yelled for her to hurry up. Just as Mom reached the doorway, I felt a trickle of urine dampen the padding. My arms and legs shook as I tried to hold it all back for just a little longer. To be stood at the finishing line with no way to cross it on my own was torturous.

“Hurry!” I moaned desperately.

Mom leaned forwards and pulled the first tape off the diaper. She had just started the second tape when I lost control completely. The padding at the front of the disposable started rapidly darkening and I could feel heat spreading quickly. With an exclamation of defeat, I pulled away from Mom’s hands and sat back on the toilet seat. Any lingering resistance disappeared, and I started to flood the diaper. I leaned forwards and put my face in my hands as I felt my urine blossoming all throughout the padding. I let out a sob and stamped a foot in frustration.

“See!?” I cried out desperately as I looked up, my eyes filled with tears, “I could’ve made it! I could’ve…”

My words disappeared into tears as I felt the diaper grow wetter and wetter. The padding started to sag beneath my butt and after waiting so long there was a lot to come out. I sat, red faced and with tears running down my cheeks, as Mom watched in silence. It felt like minutes were passing and I still wet myself, even after the stream turned to a trickle. Mom remained silent the whole time. She simply continued to stare right between my legs. Her expression was unreadable. It certainly wasn’t sympathy or empathy, which most people would be entitled to expect after an embarrassment like I was experiencing.

“Oh dear…” Mom said with a sigh of disappointment.

“I could’ve made it…” I said as sobs started to force their way out of my mouth making my body shake slightly.

“But you didn’t.” Mom replied, “Honestly, at your age…”

I barely heard Mom. I had my face covered with my hands as I cried like a baby. I didn’t understand why all this was happening. I needed to rewind time to back before my college finals had been starting, back before I didn’t suddenly have all sorts of toilet-related troubles, back when I was still happy.

“Come on.” Mom said with a long sigh, “Let’s get you changed… again.”

The tone of Mom’s voice only made me cry harder. I could hear the note of disappointment borne from needing to treat her adult daughter like a difficult toddler. As much as I cried that it wasn’t my fault, I wasn’t even sure how much I believed it. How many times could I excuse accidents before I accepted that they were happening too often to be considered coincidences?

I stood up and, purely out of habit, reached around to flush the toilet. Obviously, I didn’t need to, everything that I’d done had ended up in the diaper. The disposable had swelled up dramatically and whilst a dry one made me waddle a little, it was when they were wet that my legs were really forced apart. My butt swayed behind me as I did my best to walk normally.

I could feel the rivulets of warm urine running against my skin and the thick padding getting pressed against me. Every movement really reinforced just what I had done. I felt so pathetic and small. Mom led me back into my bedroom and whilst I went straight over to my bed she retrieved a fresh diaper from the drawer. I wanted to argue that I should go back to regular panties, that it was the diaper which had prevented me from reaching the toilet on time, but when I was standing in a completely soaked diaper it felt like a difficult argument to make. It wasn’t like Mom was likely to listen to me even if I had made it to the toilet on time.

“Lay down.” Mom ordered after she had spread the changing mat over my sheets.

I did as I was told. I was unsurprised when Mom pushed my pacifier back between my lips. Maybe I should’ve been grateful she wasn’t punishing me for taking it out. Small victories. To my shame it did slow down my crying. Mom gave me a look and I knew that she was telling me that I was to keep that in until further notice. I sucked a couple of times on the amber teat and felt it sooth me just a little bit.

Mom didn’t say a word as she pulled off the remaining tapes on the diaper. I felt the front come down and the chill of the air on my skin. I laid back and just let Mom get on with changing me. By this point I knew that if she wanted my assistance she would ask, until then I was expected to do nothing. I just closed my eyes and thought about something else as Mom wiped me clean, pulled the wet diaper out and then slipped a dry one underneath me.

“Try to keep this one dry.” Mom said unnecessarily as she pulled it up between my legs and taped it closed.

“I have been trying…” I muttered sulkily around the pacifier in my mouth.

Mom seemed unconvinced. I felt a flash of anger. Did she think I WANTED to keep wetting and pooping myself? Thankfully, I was soon left alone as Mom took the used diaper and left the room leaving me still on the bed with my pacifier. I wasn’t going to dare to take it out, if she barged back in and saw I wasn’t using it I would be a in a world of trouble.