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    Summary

    Phil Coulson is SHIELD's best handler for a reason: he can deal with the broken people that nobody else can manage but desperately need anyway. So he comes up with an unusual teambuilding technique to shore up the Avengers.

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    14/14
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  2. 01 Aug 2025

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  10. 15 Apr 2025

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  11. 18 Mar 2025

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  13. 14 Feb 2025

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  14. 04 Jan 2025

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  18. 27 Oct 2024

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  19. 07 Oct 2024

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  20. 25 Sep 2024

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    Ch14

    "But I got my first bank account when I was five," Tony whined.

    "Then you can be four," Phil said without missing a beat. He waited for Tony's next argument.

    "... 'kay," Tony said in a small voice.

    "Okay," Phil agreed.

    Clint said, as if meeting someone for the first time, "Hi. I'm Clint Barton. I'm eight."

    "Natka Barton, and I'm seven," came the follow up.
    -
    "Hi, I'm Tony Carter, and I'm four."

    Well. That was still painfully revelatory about Tony's childhood fantasies, but at least it wasn't the team-wrecking disaster that Tony Rogers could have been. Nice save, indeed.
    -
    "Oreos give me a tummyache," Tony said.

    Only Phil's years in espionage kept his mouth from falling open in shock. Tony Stark never admitted to weakness if he could avoid it. That allergy was nowhere in Tony's files, and it certainly hadn't stopped him from eating oreos before. Yet Phil did not doubt it was true. Apparently if Natasha had gotten into the spirit of things by acting, Tony had decided to do it by not acting.
    -
    Phil set up the board again as he explained the basics of checkers just as he would to a precocious four-year-old. Tony listened raptly, leaning forward with the very tip of his pink tongue poking out of his mouth. It was almost as if nobody had ever explained the game to him before. Yet Phil had seen Tony playing checkers against JARVIS once. Then again ... maybe nobody had explained the rules. Maybe this was just another of the million things that Tony had taught himself.

    Briefly Phil wished for a time machine so he could go back and strangle Howard Stark, the genius who evidently couldn't figure out how to teach his own son to play checkers. But no. That would doubtless make Steve cry, and Phil couldn't stand the thought of doing that even in his own fantasy. Possibly it would make Tony cry, too. Not the fierce Mr. Stark, genius-billionaire-playboy-philanthropist, no. But this tentative and vulnerable little-Tony who was looking at Phil like Phil had won a Nobel Prize, just for taking the time to pretend to teach him something? Oh yes. This, somehow, was a Tony with a very different set of associations with a father-figure.
    -
    "Um, not exactly, I just wanted to ask Tony about my suit and he wasn't where I -- why are you wearing a bathrobe?"

    "We are engaged in a teambuilding exercise," Phil said.

    "Without your clothes on?" Steve demanded. He started trying to peer over Phil, into the room.

    Phil stepped outside and shut the door firmly behind him, then leaned against it. He parted the bathrobe to show Steve the t-shirt underneath. "Everyone is fully dressed, just not in street clothes," he said mildly. "I assure you there is absolutely nothing sexual, nonconsensual, or otherwise inappropriate about our activities."

    Steve blushed and looked away. "I didn't mean that." Then he gave a little hm! of enlightenment. "Is this like the time you tried to get people to come play games?"

    "We are playing a game, yes," Phil said. "This is game night."
    -
    It wasn't always necessary to arrange the accident, just the opportunity for one. Director Fury knew Phil well; that made manipulation easier. And look who had been there to rescue Steve from the bedlam of the modern world. That was all very convenient.

    "There's nothing to prove," Phil said at last. "Clint got a knock on the head and some colorful bruises. I went to check on him, you woke up, and people handled it badly. That's all. I just wanted you to know that I'm sorry for my part in that mess."

    "I forgive you," Steve said softly.

    And oh, Phil hadn't been expecting that, but it untied a taut knot in his chest. "Thanks," he managed. Steve just nodded.

    This, Phil thought, this was why people would follow Steve Rogers over the edge of the Earth: because he would always think of others and what they needed, even if he was the one hurting. But then who took care of Steve?
    -
    "I thought you said to think of my happy memories of childhood," Steve muttered to Phil. "Why's half the team hiding under the coffee table?"

    Phil sighed very softly. "In some ways, Steve, you were the lucky one. Not everyone has a lot of happy memories to draw on; they're doing the best that they can."

    "Oh," Steve said, his blue eyes darkening toward storm. "I see."
    -
    "If you don't like our terms, Nick Fury, then you can accept our resignations right now and fuck the hell off!" Phil snarled. He closed the call, and was both surprised and gratified when JARVIS attached an emphatic slamdown sound effect to the disconnection.

  21. 19 Sep 2024

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