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“That asshole!” Felix sobbed again “What kind of person breaks up with someone just for being a virgin? H-he could’ve just taught me, right?”
“I’m so sorry, Lix.” Hyunjin said, his hand rubbing the blonde’s back in an attempt to comfort him.
It was a Saturday morning when Felix burst into Hyunjin’s room like a hurricane, without even knocking. His eyes and cheeks were slightly red as he collapsed onto the bed next to his friend, trying to explain, through heavy sobs, the reason why his six-month relationship with Minho came to an end.
Even though he was mad at Minho for the way things ended (through a simple message), Felix felt disappointed, unwanted, and like he wasn't enough. After all, everything about this was new to him — he'd only had two boyfriends in his entire life, one back in high school and now Minho — and, despite it being so recent, he thought they had a special connection.
Minho was gorgeous, funny, helpful, and reliable. He would carry Felix’s books down the hallway, lend him his jacket whenever the classroom AC was freezing, eat brownies from Felix’s favorite stall next to the arts building (despite swearing they were just a heap of sugar and cocoa), and he knew exactly how to bring out that beautiful smile on Felix’s lips when he wanted a kiss. But apparently, this wasn’t enough to make it last.
“Shit, I really liked him…” Felix whispered, wiping away the tears running down his cheeks.
“I know, my angel.” Hyunjin pulled him closer “He’s an idiot, but it’s not the end of the world. You’ll meet a lot of amazing people, it’s only your first year of college.”
“But…” Felix looked at Hyunjin, a pout on his lips “What if I’m not worth it? I mean, Kyung Soo cheated on me in high school, remember?”
Hyunjin’s mouth fell open as he stared at Felix in total disbelief, his heart breaking into pieces hearing those words.
Because Felix was the purest person Hyunjin had ever met, with a sweet soul and unmatched kindness. And knowing that people in his past had hurt him so deeply, enough to make him belittle himself like this, awakened an unfamiliar fury within.
“Felix, what are you talking about? Do you really think that about yourself?” he asked, his voice coming out hoarse and uneven.
“I… I don’t know what to think anymore, Jin.” took in a deep breath before continuing: “Like, why would anyone even want to date me, right?”
“Hey, hey” Hyunjin cupped his face with both hands, his fingertips brushing softly against Felix’s smooth skin “You’re perfect, Lix. Perfect. You have this huge heart, those bright eyes, and the most beautiful smile I’ve ever seen. Anyone who gets to date you will, without a doubt, be the luckiest guy in the world, got it?”
The silence stretched for a few long minutes, the room feeling smaller with every passing second. Hyunjin could feel Felix’s heavy breathing against his face, and he gently stroked the side of his cheek with his thumb.
“Jin, can you help me with something?” Felix asked, his voice near a whisper, barely audible if not for the short distance between them.
“Anything.”
“You-” he nibbled on his lower lip “Can you teach me?”
Hyunjin’s heart skipped a beat at the words. He had to blink a few times and take a deep breath, trying to process what he had just heard.
“W-what do you mean?” he asked, with furrowed eyebrows “Teach you what?”
“Oh, you know…” Felix bit his lip again, lowering his face as his hands gripped his own knees “Teach me how to… you know… have sex.”
Hyunjin’s brain short-cut, freezing his thoughts as he stayed silent with his hands now pressed against the mattress, digesting the words that hit him straight in the stomach. He didn’t know how to respond to such an honest request that twisted his insides, he didn’t know what to do when his throat tightened and a faint ringing echoed in his head.
“Feli-”
“You know what? Forget it” the blonde interrupted, shaking his head as if trying to chase the thought away “Stupid idea. I shouldn’t have said anything, I-”
“Felix” Hyunjin repeated, cupping his cheek, and the blonde instinctively leaned into his palm.
He smiled, a slightly sad smile, leaned in and brushed his lips against Felix’s, kissing the small pout on his heart-shaped lips and sighing when their faces were just an inch apart.
A shiver ran down Felix’s spine. Even though it wasn’t the first time they had kissed (having happened a few times at parties) it always felt so different to taste Hyunjin’s warm mouth.
“I want to help you” he said, brown eyes locked with Felix’s with so much tenderness “But this is something important. Are you sure?”
Felix paused for a moment, thinking deeply about the request he had just made. Well, it would only be once, no strings attached — just to get rid of this “weight” that seemed to consume him.
“Yeah… I’d rather do it with you.” he said with a small grin “I know you’ll be careful.”
Hyunjin gulped, feeling his heartbeat speed up. He smiled too, leaning in and closing his eyes, breathing in Felix’s sweet scent.
“That's right” he murmured, pressing a soft peck on his lips “Your hyung is always careful with you.”
Then he kissed him again, deeper this time. His hand gently caressed Felix’s face while his tongue brushed against the blonde’s plump lips, parting them and sliding inside, exploring the heat as warmth bloomed under his skin.
“Tell me what I need to do” Felix breathed, his voice so low it nearly made Hyunjin's eyes roll back.
And Hyunjin froze for a heartbeat, his breath hitching as he stared at him — at the flushed cheeks, the glistening eyes, those trembling lips —, because every instinct screamed to touch, to claim but there was also a restraint that held him still — almost afraid that moving too fast would break that fragile moment.
Only then, with a low groan that come from deep in his throat, did Hyunjin finally grip and guide him onto his lap. His cock twitched hard beneath the blonde, the heat and weight of him scattering every last rational thought.
“Well… There are a couple of ways we could do this” Hyunjin explained, cheeks burning with embarrassment and his breath grew heavy “One of them is… you, sitting on my lap like this.”
He tightened his grip on Felix’s waist, moving his hips left and right, circling them slowly around his length, eliciting a gasp from both of them.
The subtle friction sent waves of heat rolling between them as they shared quiet breaths, and Felix’s hands gripped Hyunjin’s chest over his shirt as he looked down at him.
“And now?” he asked softly, his ass rolling over Hyunjin’s clothed dick.
“Now… you can touch yourself too.” The black-haired took one of Felix’s hands, kissed his knuckles, and rested it over the blonde’s belly-bulge.
So Felix squeezed his hand around the base through the fabric of his sweat shorts, stroking slowly, drawing out a soft sigh as Hyunjin closed his eyes, feeling his mind spin and blood rush south.
His hand slid to the back of Felix’s neck, pushing their faces closer once again and the blonde breathed over the black-haired lips as he started to grind on top of him.
Felix felt a hand travel under his loose shirt, nails digging into his skin as he sped up the movement of his hand, drops of precum escaping the slit of the reddened tip.
“You need to press your thumb into the slit.” Hyunjin said, breathy and low.
“Ah- Like this?” the blonde asked with raised eyebrows.
Hyunjin opened his eyes and the sight of Felix above him — lips parted as he stroked himself, smearing precum over the swollen tip — made his eyes roll back, nearly sending him over the edge. He nodded and sealed their lips together again, savoring the sweet taste of Felix's mouth and swallowing choked up breaths.
For a moment, Hyunjin let himself dive into the sensation, his heart twisting in something deeper than pure desire, as every shiver and shaky breath from Felix felt like a little secret meant only for him. And he couldn't ignore the warmth that bloomed in his chest, knowing he was the first to hear those vulnerable sounds spill from those soft, plump lips.
And even with his eyes closed now, Hyunjin could picture the image perfectly in his head — Felix's small, warm body against him, messy-haired, flushed and so pliant in his arms, bathed in the gentle light of the morning sun.
“I… I think I forgot the main detail.” Hyunjin chuckled under his breath as he pulled back from Felix's lips, open eyes with dilated pupils tracing every feature of that sun-kissed face while his hand pushed the waistband of the blonde's shorts down.
“You’re a terrible teacher” Felix giggled, a shiny smile as he stood over Hyunjin, tugging the piece of clothing off while the other did the same, unbuttoning his jeans and pushing them down along with his boxers.
“Just a second” the black-haired whispered, leaning over the bed to open a drawer on the nightstand and pulling out a condom and some lube.
Felix sat on the taller's thighs, watching patiently as Hyunjin rolled the condom down over his length, pressing a quick peck to the blonde’s lips. And, God, he was so pretty. Starry eyes and a freckle-dotted face that made the black-haired’s heart pound dangerously in his chest. How could someone like him ever feel unworthy, when he was truly the most precious thing Hyunjin had ever known?
“Baby” he said, lips ghosting next to Felix’s cheek, his nose brushing the soft skin “This may hurt.”
Felix moaned softly, murmuring a dreamy “‘S okay” so sweetly that it made Hyunjin’s gut tighten.
He spread lube over his fingers and grabbed Felix’s thigh with one hand, the tip of his lubed-up finger circling around the blonde’s rim — earning a loud moan as Hyunjin slid his digit inside.
The blonde’s whole body trembled, his walls clenching around Hyunjin’s finger as he whimpered so fucking sexy. Felix’s beautiful face twisted into something between pain and pleasure only making Hyunjin’s cock throb hard against his stomach.
“Fuck, Lix. Can I add another one?” he whispered breathily, lips brushing against Felix’s.
“Ngh- fuck, yes, please” Felix gasped, rolling his hips around the finger as Hyunjin slid another deep inside.
He moved his fingers, scissoring and curling them, while Felix shook above him. Burning hot skin with a rosy flush on his cheeks, pretty round eyes (now shut tight) and sinful pink lips mumbling dirty words… This was Hyunjin’s private heaven. He wanted to freeze this moment and live in it forever, surrounded by the sweet sounds and intoxicating heat, even with his chest heaving, heart stumbling and racing with adrenaline.
Felix was all that mattered now.
“Lix” Hyunjin murmured, eyes half-lidded, as he slid in a third finger, feeling the blonde stretch around his long, slender digits. “Tell me when you’re ready, baby.”
The shorter’s mouth parted, he melted in Hyunjin’s arms and nodded while the black-haired traced the tip of his nose along Felix’s flushed cheek, sliding down to his jawline and neck.
And the man lifted Felix's shirt, trailing wet kisses across the expanse of the chest, savoring the soft hums and the rapid beat of his heart as he clenched around him. Hyunjin's lips wrapped around one rosy nipple, licking and teasing it gently as his free hand rubbed and pinched the other between his fingers.
“Jin-” Felix whined, his back arching and fully-hard cock pressing against him “‘M ready.”
Hyunjin pressed a kiss to the blonde's neck, tongue gliding over the sensitive vein as he slowly slid his fingers out, only to spread more lube along his hard length. Big brown eyes watched him intently and Felix pulled his loose shirt over his head, his bare chest rising and falling with uneven breaths.
“It’s going to be a little uncomfortable at first, but it gets better, I promise.” Hyunjin caressed Felix’s cheek, a small pout on his lips “Tell me if I’m too fast, okay? Tell me everything.”
Felix wrapped his arms around the man's neck and adjusted his position, making the black-haired grin.
“Okay.” he smiled back, receiving kisses all over his burning skin.
Plump lips pressed against his mouth, chin, jaw, neck and collarbone, only to return to his lips again. Tongues tangled and slid over each other as Hyunjin slowly pushed his lubed-up cock into the tight heat.
“Angh-” Felix winced as tears collected in his eyes.
“Shit, Lixie… Ha, you’re so tight…” Hyunjin whispered next to his mouth, nails digging into Felix’s waist as the slick length sank deeper and deeper.
And Felix trembled, eyes rolling back as he moaned obscenely when Hyunjin bottomed out.
They stayed still for a moment, catching their breaths, and Hyunjin’s hand slid into Felix’s long golden locks, gently caressing his hair.
Hyunjin's lips brushed against his hair, warm breath fanning over the soft strands, every muscle tense from the feeling of his thick, hard length buried deep inside him.
“Tell me when I can move” he whispered, kissing the blonde's temple.
Felix nodded weakly, chest heaving against him. His arms clinging to taller's neck as his freckled face pressed into the curve of his shoulder. Hyunjin's eyes closed instinctively as he savored the heat, the soft whimpers and the delicate vanilla scent that lingered on Felix's skin.
Gradually, their breaths steadied.
Felix drew in a shaky inhale, gathering all the strength in his hips to lift himself, muscles trembling as he slid back down and a broken moan escaped against Hyunjin's ear.
“God, Hyun…” he said lowly as waves of heat washed over his body.
He repeated the motion again and again, his groans and moans growing louder with each thrust filling the quiet room. Hyunjin's hands roamed, one gripping his slim waist as the other tangled in his hair, holding him close.
“W-what do I need to do now?” he panted, bodies pressed together as he lifted his face and met deep brown eyes, darker than usual and shining with raw desire.
The black-haired smirked and tilted his head slightly, feeling sweat trickle down his back and making his shirt cling to the skin, as his gut tightened.
“Lix-ah” Hyunjin chuckled huskily, lips grazing the blonde's jaw “Just sit and enjoy the view. Hyung will take care of everything now.”
The soft laugh sent shivers down Felix's spine, and he obeyed, letting Hyunjin move his hips in slow, deliberate circles.
Felix's eyes rolled back, his lips parting in a sweet, breathless whimper as he felt every inch, every pulse, and the stretching sensation consuming him. Hyunjin pressed kisses along his neck, down to his collarbone, tasting the sweat and warmth of Felix's skin.
“You're so perfect like this” he murmured, voice shaking with arousal and something deeper, beyond tender, that neither of them could name right now “Tell me if it hurts too much.”
Felix shook his head weakly, moaning softly “No… It's okay, just- Ngh, don't stop…”
The blonde trembled in his arms, nails clawing at Hyunjin's shirt, desperate for something to hold onto as he moved in perfect rhythm. Felix's breath turned ragged, and he buried his face in his neck again, lips brushing damp skin as a growl ripped out of his chest. Each slow rise and fall of his hips sent sparks through his body, a haze of ache and pleasure that made his toes curl.
Hyunjin's grip tightened as one hand slid down the curve of Felix's bare back, until it cupped the swell of his ass, guiding his movements.
“You're doing so good, Lixie… Mmh, just like that” he whispered, voice cracking as his teeth grazed the blonde's ear “You're taking me so well…”
And a needy moan spilled from Felix's lips as his body quivered with each deep thrust. The room filled with the soft slaps of skin, mingle breaths, the low hum of the AC and the quiet squeak of the bed beneath them — along with the overwhelming sensation in Felix's heart, the sensation of being full, of being wanted.
When Hyunjin angled his hips and pushed deeper, a startled cry escaped Felix, followed by a breathless laugh that made the black-haired's mind fuzzy and chest tighten.
“Right there?” Hyunjin asked, his grin wicked yet soft as Felix gasped, tilting his head back.
“Y-yeah… Oh, fuck, Jin…” he cried out, hair damp and sticking to his forehead and tears clinging to his lashes as his eyes shut tight.
Hyunjin's pace quickened, all his focus on the tight, tight heat around him and the perfect image of Felix with tears streaming down his cheeks.
“Jin, I- I can't-" he whimpered, so desperate it made Hyunjin's heart clench inside his chest.
“Easy, baby, just breathe” he murmured, brushing his mouth in the curve of Felix's neck “We'll go as slow as you need.”
The blonde swallowed hard as the black-haired slowed his hips just enough to feel Felix shudder against him, nails digging small crescent marks into the skin of his neck. Every tiny shiver, every desperate squeeze around him sent sparks racing through his veins, and he couldn't stop his fingers from gripping the blonde's waist tighter. Heart aching at how fragile and precious Felix felt in that instant.
“So perfect” Hyunjin whispered, his lips tracing a path along Felix's damp jawline.
A loud, broken whine escaped Felix's throat as Hyunjin slowly rolled his hips again, deeper this time. Felix felt that sweet spot being hit over and over, making him shiver as his body arched with every precise thrust.
The guttural sound that broke from the shorter's lips was somewhere between a sob and a moan, and Hyunjin could feel his own climax building higher as he adjusted his angle, filling Felix completely while the blonde's knees nearly gave out.
“Jinnie, I'm-” his voice cracked, breath hitching as pleasure overwhelmed him.
“Tell me, Lixie…” the black-haired muttered, his tongue tracing a slow stripe of sweat along Felix's neck “Tell hyung what you need”
The words worked like a trigger; Felix drowned in white-hot bliss as every muscle in his body seemed to pulse with heat, his hips moving on their own as he rode Hyunjin's cock so desperately.
Each bounce ripped a loud, pornographic moan from Hyunjin's chest as his big hands gripped the blonde's small waist with bruising strength, firmly guiding him while the bed creaked louder under their movements.
“I'm- ah, ah, ah” Felix gasped, a thin string of saliva sliding from the corner of his mouth as Hyunjin wrapped a hand around his neglected cock and began stroking him slowly again.
His rhythm faltered as he felt Felix tighten impossibly around him, shaky breaths and broken moans driving him insane.
Felix's eyes rolled back into his skull as his whole body convulsed over Hyunjin, his cock throbbing painfully hard and spilling hot streaks of cum over the taller's shirt and collarbones.
And the sight and feeling of Felix trembling in his lap, warm release staining his clothes, sent Hyunjin over the edge.
“Felix, Felix- Ah, fuck” he groaned, hips jerking uncontrollaby as he basked in his own climax, holding the blonde tight against his chest while flooding the condom with thick ropes of cum.
And maybe it was the way Felix's tear-blurred eyes watched the sunlight hit the side of Hyunjin's face, sending a chill down his spine. But, suddenly, he felt so light.
His brows furrowed in pleasure as he felt Hyunjin's heart racing against his own. Soft, breathy praises whispered in his ear, making his throat tighten. And it felt so safe.
Or maybe it was the careful way the taller held him, hands grazing his skin as if he were so fragile he could shatter.
And it was just Hyunjin.
Just Hyunjin.
His childhood best friend, with sparkling brown eyes that looked at him with so much devotion.
Hyunjin's hands moved instinctively, rubbing gentle circles along Felix's damp back as the blonde shuddered against him, a choked sob slipping from his lips while the tension slowly drained from his body, melting into Hyunjin's embrace.
The black-haired pressed soft kisses to his temple, feeling the faint flutter of his lashes against his skin and the rising and falling of his chest.
“Breathe, Lix” he whispered, voice low and uneven “It's okay… you did so well.”
His hands continued gliding up and down Felix's spine, the tremors gradually fading beneath his touch. Felix stayed pressed against his chest, face buried in the crook of his neck, small fingers curling into Hyunjin's shoulder.
“Hyung's proud of you” Hyunjin murmured with a soft chuckle in his ear, earning a tiny, breathless laugh from the blonde.
“God, you're… s-so annoying” he mumbled, voice weak but laced with a shy smile.
Hyunjin tilted his head, bringing a hand to Felix's face, gently lifting it and brushing his thumb along the soft skin. He admired every inch of the blonde's features — the sparkling, puffed eyes, the flushed cheeks, the pink heart-shaped lips and the tiny freckles scattered like stars across his face — and his heart tightened so much it almost hurt.
He pressed his lips to Felix's, parting them in a slow, lazy kiss that drew a soft whine from the younger. And his gut clenched.
Their velvet tongues met, curling together as he tasted Felix's sweetness. And he knew he shouldn't be feeling this way.
Felix moaned softly, fingers clutching the back of his neck as Hyunjin's cock moved lazily inside him. And he couldn't understand why his eyes were filling with tears.
Because it was just Felix.
Just Felix.
The boy he had grown up with, the one who smiled at him like he was the only person in the world.
His chest ached as he held him closer, because Felix is unfairly perfect, and it wasn't supposed to feel like this — this raw, deep pain that seemed to consume him whole.
And for a fleeting, terrifying moment, Hyunjin thought: I could stay like this forever, but how could he? Some feelings were too fragile to risk.
So, he decided to bury them deep, even if they burned him inside.
For now, he simply kept Felix in his arms, letting the moment stretch in quiet warmth and soft hums, as if holding onto it could be enough.