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Ryan did miss Min-Gi; he truly did. But it’s been ten years since they graduated, and they hadn’t talked since then. Hell, they stopped talking a week before graduation. He’s had a lot of time to think it over.
He figured out that Min-Gi had gotten overwhelmed with Ryan dropping that they’d be going off in a week. Ryan knew Min-Gi could be a runner; someone who ran away from their problems because they got overwhelmed and/or scared. And Min-Gi was one of those people.
There’s been many times where he thought about going to Powell Lake, Ryan doubted Min-Gi left since Min-Gi was simple and went along with whatever his parents told him to do. Probably another reason why Min had bolted at the Battle of the Bands. But Ryan never went to Powell Lake, not even for shows, because he was scared that he’d run into his ex-best friend and fuck things up even more.
So, Ryan didn’t.
Often, he wondered if Min-Gi missed him too. Ryan wondered if Min-Gi regretted that day because he sure as hell did. He wondered if Min-Gi was proud of who he’s become, how successful he’s grown to be in the last decade. Ryan wondered if the other even thought about him.
What if he didn’t…?
That was an awful thought. Ryan made many songs with Min-Gi in mind. He wrote in inside jokes that weren’t confusing, but really funny if you knew the context— such as the giant worm destroying the world. Did Min hear those songs and think: ‘hey, he still thinks of me’?
This was stupid. Wasn’t it? Being hung up over someone who you drifted away from ten years back? Thinking about how they’d be like if they were to meet up again? Would that feel natural? Or would it be incredibly awkward and weird? So much so that Min-Gi left him?
Again…
A sigh left Ryan’s lips. No one paid him any mind. They all knew him. They knew he would occasionally sigh when deep in thought, but Ryan would never elaborate what he was thinking about so often. They knew it was a personal thing, and no one here was open about their personal life. Ryan was really the only one that was; even then, he didn’t dive too much into his past because his past held Min-Gi. And thinking of Min-Gi hurt.
Even if the thought of Min-Gi hurt, he still thought of his ex-best friend quite often. Ryan knew he had feelings for Min (probably he used to have, it’s been too long for that). Part of him resented Min-Gi because of the way things ended.
Did Min-Gi resentful him too?
Logically, he would. Wouldn’t he? For a while, the only way they communicated (if you can really call it that) was Ryan sending early release albums which were signed. But he hasn’t sent a letter or even called. And neither had Min-Gi.
Maybe part of why Min-Gi didn’t was because Ryan traveled around a lot, and didn’t know where to send things. Ryan did have a PO Box in New York City, maybe he could send that to Min-Gi?
No. That would just be too weird.
Ryan hasn’t even sent Min-Gi an early release in years. He didn’t know if Min-Gi lived in the same place, or if his parents hadn’t moved. He didn’t know where to send it anymore.
And besides, he doubted Min-Gi even listened to them. He probably saw who it was from and threw it away without a second thought. Maybe whenever one of his songs came on radio, Min-Gi changed stations.
That didn’t sound much like Min-Gi. But it’s been a decade. Min-Gi’s had to change. Hell, Ryan’s changed a lot.
All Ryan knew was that he missed Min-Gi, and nothing was going to bring their relationship back.