Archive of Our Own ^beta

Jason closes Persuasion after a few hours of staring at the pages uncomprehendingly and calling it ‘reading.’ He stares around his safehouse, trying to remember how many times he's checked the locks. 

However many, it's not enough to keep the fear out. 

There's a noise at the door. Jason reaches for the nearest gun, but his hands shake too much to find the safety. He wouldn't get a shot off before the failsafe kicked in anyway. A weapon is too much of a liability. It would only get used against him like everything else. 

I love you, Jaylad.

Jason shudders. The first time he's heard any of those words since he was fifteen and still convinced they were something that could be taken away. He'd been right then.

He'd never believed he could get that promise back. He'd never – he'd never thought it would be worse.

Jaylad, I love you.

And then Bruce had reached into his mind and taken everything he's spent years rebuilding. He feels like he did in the first days after the Pit, when his mind hadn't known how to be back in his body. 

He feels trapped in his own corpse with nothing but fear and the memory of fear for company.

“Honey, I'm home,” Rose calls through the door. “Hurry up and let me in or I'll drink this booze without you.”

Jason can barely stand. He limps towards the door — towards her with single minded will.

He freezes again when he goes to undo the locks. “Um, what's the password?”

“What are you, twelve?” Rose snorts. She relents after an agonizing twenty-three seconds. “Does ‘I wasn't followed’ work?”

Jason opens the door. 

“Sure does. We updated it just this morning,” he goes for the quip and the smile but it doesn't quite land.

“Jason…” Rose sets the bags down. Her eyes widen and she moves, her enhanced reflexes getting her there in time to catch him as he falls. “Jason, you're scaring me. What happened? What did he do?”

I love you, Jaylad.

Jason sinks into nothingness. Rose drops the bags in time to catch him. He lets himself fall apart in her arms.