Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

If you were to make me choose between an augmented human who made me want to die at his feet, a hell planet infested with alien shit turning everything into monsters, a fuckoff research transport that set my nervous system on fire, or a hippie station trying to force me to take trauma treatments, the answer would be my current situation: laying low in a stolen B-E transport while security swept the station. Owen and Ameca were both flooding me with messages that I was ignoring, StationSec had lost my trail after I hacked their system (which was beefed up more than a standard SecSys, but still nothing I couldn't handle), so I assumed I could hide in here indefinitely. Actually launching the ship wasn't an option, it was in long term docking and needed a whole process to get free, but even that was better than the communal construct housing they wanted me to stay in. 

The construct housing was only temporary until the "refugees" were deemed able to "integrate into society" and hold a job of some kind. It was carefully put together with cameras in every corner, a place to request drones from, a very large area for physical activity and combat training, no area for food, a handful of cubicles for those who preferred that for refuel/repair/recharging over a MedSys, and various rooms targeted at trying new activities and skills. There was also a selection of human and bot staff who kept it running on a structured schedule. There were several ComfortUnits, a handful of SecUnits, and I was the only CombatUnit. I was the only one who seemed to dislike engaging with this facility on any level. 

I had stopped seeing the Girl shortly after being purged of nanites, but the feeling of having some Thing right outside of my field of vision persisted, especially in areas where other people could be. This feeling was not alleviated by accessing surveillance of my surroundings. It was like I was still being affected by the... whatever that human scientist from Panta called it, psychosis or some shit. Whatever. Everything just felt like it was fake. The way humans were always asking if I wanted to talk to try new things just made it all worse. And while they said they wouldn't stop me from leaving, they advised me not to. And made no moves to let me take my transport (which had paperwork logging it as belonging to Ameca). So I was mostly stranded in this system that had fresh shiny new laws classifying constructs as full people that they were eager to put into practice, and it my my fucking problem. 

I got an access request from the ship's outer hatch, and I checked the security cam and saw it was a woman I did not recognize. She was waiting patiently like she had just knocked on a neighbor's front door. I ignored her, but she send another request and spoke like she knew I was listening, "I'm here to talk. Security won't know you're here, your squadmate said you were probably here. Can I come in?"

She was fearless and calm, this wasn't a threat or a demand, this was maybe a negotiation? I was... interested to know what she thought talking to me would accomplish. I unlocked the hatch and moved to intercept her. 

She came in and made a path toward the lounge area, I circled around and got behind her. "What do you want?"

To her credit, she didn't flinch. She turned around, but she had that thing that a few humans did where she didn't look directly at me. "Hi, I'm Dr. Bharadwaj. You go by Blank, correct?" I nodded, and she continued, "You have everyone pretty worried, disappearing like that."

"If you're just here to drag me back, you can fuck off."

"I wasn't lying, I'm here to talk, if you're willing. I understand not all constructs are comfortable in social situations, like communal living. Even some humans feel uneasy in those kinds of situations."

I squinted and folded my arms in that way I had learned to make humans afraid of me. She didn't seem to care, which irritated me, "What's your point?"

"What do you need? Our program is trying to give each newly freed construct what they need to enjoy their lives. Do you know what we can do to lessen your uneasiness?"

"What makes you think I'm uneasy?"

She raised an eyebrow, "You're trying to intimidate me, like, right now. You have been avoiding the councilors, and you hacked into station security, Indah is livid by the way, to run and hide here, in the only familiar structure you know. I can dance around and play games with you, but do you want that?"

I didn't like how easy she was reading me. I uncrossed my arms, "I don't."

"Good." She stepped over and leaned against the wall, visibly making me see her guard was down, "How long have you been free?"

"Over fourteen hundred hours." Oh, but I guess that was just my second time being rogue. "But I was rogue before my memory wipe. It could have been between five and seven thousand hours. I have text logs of that time, but no hard memories."

She took some time to do a little math in her head. "That's quite a bit of time. Do you know what you want to do?" 

That was a dumb question, "I want to leave."

She listened, and she did not make a face. I appreciated that. "Do you know where to go? Or how you'll make it on your own?"

That was.... not a dumb question. "My logs have significant entries detailing how to survive, as wall as a fake identity I can assume. I can make money as a hacker while pretending to be human. I survived that way before while traveling to gather ways to fight back against... the person who owned me."

"If that's what you really want, I can help you get prepared for that again, but I have to ask: do you think that will be enjoyable?"

The thought of pretending to be human while just making little bits of money at a time made my performance reliability drop. "No."

"Okay, thank you. So, do you have any memories where you were enjoying yourself?"

I was going to say no, explain how the very nature of being a construct was to hate everything, but I stopped short when I recalled a recent memory as well as a RogueStatus file, both about destroying humans at their own games. "I like winning."

Bharadwaj smiled, "I think we can find a way to make that happen. But you'll have to come back with me long enough to help sort out all the confusion, and if you really want to live here in the transport, I know someone who can help make that happen."

So I went back with her. She made me feel entirely new sensations. For the first time, a human who had power over my situation didn't seem like a threat, which in and of itself make me think she was even more of a threat. Would I let her hurt me if she asked? I let her lead me through the station, would she find my weak points and exploit them? She already found the gaps in my walls. It worried me. But all that happened was introducing me to the program's legal consultant, a woman named Pin-Lee, arranging for me to live in the transport in the dock (after a call for verbal permission from Ameca) for my "mental health," and then making me promise to come in four out of every seven days for career and life counseling. And they reminded me that if I hacked anything else on the station without express permission then I would be required to do "community service." That was it. They just let me go after that. Big scary rogue CSU, and they just.... gave me official access to the place I wanted to hide in and a promise to find ways to fulfill my drive to beat others. 

If you were to make me choose between an augmented human who made me want to die at his feet, a hell planet infested with alien shit turning everything into monsters, a fuckoff research transport that set my nervous system on fire, or a hippie station trying to force me to take trauma treatments, the answer would be my current situation: laying low in a stolen B-E transport while security swept the station.

Correction: Maybe.... The hippie station was less terrible than my other options.

Chapter Text

I had looked forward to going to Preservation for some time now. I wanted to go down and see the planet of farms and festivals and plays and music. Aboard the Perihelion, I had managed to speak to the SecUnit who gave me my GovMod hack (who did not want to be referred to by name) about our destination just once. The conversation was short, and focused on facts, but I wanted a promise that my squad would be safe here. And it gave me that promise. It said that the Preservation Alliance was one of the few places I could go where we would not be in danger. So I was somewhat disappointed when we were confined to the station upon arrival. 

Myself, Blank, Ameca, Bees, and Gate were all escorted to some kind of apartment building just beyond the transit ring. There were security officers along the route, but they didn't crowd us. We were taken to an office just inside the complex, and I noted that there were three exits just within immediate view, and there were more cameras in here than the rest of the station. There were also drones, but I did not see who was controlling them. 

The human who started out paperwork was called Bud (all pronouns), and they had brown fluffy hair and a very bright colored jacket. "Please, come in! Feel free to sit. Do any of you have names so far?" They were very..... happy. 

Ameca was happy to introduce herself, I think she missed being able to tell people what her name is. 

Gate introduced itself and Bees, which I found interesting. For someone with such a pleasant and polite face, Bees was not very friendly.

I had to introduce myself and Blank, because it was almost completely shut down mentally. I wasn't sure what exactly about this place was making it so withdrawn, but I found I preferred when it was swearing and challenging people over when it was being quiet and trying to not be perceived. 

"I love your names! I hope I have time to hear how you got them as we get to know each other. Now, while I explain what we'll be doing here, I would like you to fill out these forms." They passed us the forms over the feed, which asked for out specific construct type, hard feed address, what company we had come from, and other technical information. "This program is designed to help you get independence. While you are still refugees, you will have an assigned human sponsor who will be contacted if you have an emergency or need support or someone to help speak up for you. We have legal council to help you gain citizenship, and education modules to help you understand and put context to what it means to be a free agent. We also have an extensive media library for entertainment and education, including a documentary one of our councilors recently completed. Twice a week we have people come in for career counseling, to help you figure out what you want to do in the future."

They continued explaining the featured of this complex, how there were plenty of activities we could do, how we would each have out own personal space, and if we needed rapairs there was a very skilled tech on staff and a selection of cubicles or a MedSys. It was all very well thought out, and overwhelming. Of course Gate and Bees were impossible to read, and Blank wasn't even listening, and Ameca was excited for it, so I felt like the only one who was shooting at more than I could fight. 

And then we were introduced to our sponsors. 

Two unaugmented humans stepped into the office, both wearing light colored loose clothes with carefully handcrafted decorations sewn into the hems. These were not recycler clothes, they were really made manually and it showed. 

The girl looked young. She had big brown eyes, pale yellow hair that faded into a sky blue at the tips, thin limbs and body to wear she looked weak like a child (although her body proportions suggested she was at least adolescent), her clothes resembled some kind of loose jumpsuit, and she was no more than 150 centimeters tall. She smiled brightly, "Good morning! I look forward to working with you!"

The man on the other hand had a plain loose white shirt, and just the cuffs of his pants were decorated. He had dark black fluffy hair and golden eyes, and stubble on his face, and his body language was more subdued, and even though he was slouching I could tell he had to be almost 200 centimeters tall. Which, for reference, made him probably taller than a SecUnit. I didn't even know humans got that tall. 

Bud motioned to the two, "We want to let units who worked together stay together here, so you will share sponsors. Gate, you and your partner Bees will go with Mr. Wolf. After reviewing your files, I think someone as steady as him will be good for you two."

Wolf finally offered a warm smile, "Come on, I'll show you two around." Gate and Bees hesitated, but they followed him.

Which left, "Hi! I'm Liithal." The small human for us.

"Owen, Ameca, Blank, Miss Liithal will help you with any questions you have."

And Ameca matched this human's energy within seconds, "Hiii! Omg I love your hair!"

Liithal got an even wider smile, "Thank youuuu! Yours is so cute too. Come on, you're going to love it here."

If it was possible, Blank looked even more checked out of this interaction. 

So Liithal showed us around, made sure we could each find our rooms (which were in the same wing of the building), showed us to the gym and library and arts room, and education centers. And she made triple sure that we could contact her from anywhere in the station if something were to happen. 

"And I know you have all had a long journey and need some time alone, but I need to make sure you understand one more thing. Some constructs that come in are either jumpy, or angry, or for some reason a danger to themselves or others. So I hope you understand that we want you to pass a mental health evaluation before you are allowed to free roam in the station, okay?"

"We understand," I said. "...Thank you."

She gave me a soft look, "It's not a problem. You should find the access key to the security cameras in your rooms. We have found many of our guests feel better being able to see the whole facility at will. And if you need drones, you can always ask the front desk. Now if you'll excuse me, I need to go get lunch since there isn't a kitchen here."

Blank very quickly disappeared back to its room, but Ameca chose to spend some time with me in mine. She talked excitedly about what we had seen, and how she had gotten messages from her humans about them being given housing as well. She still looked tired, I saw the way she still leaned on me for physical comfort, but she wasn't so afraid anymore. It was good to see. 

To no one's surprise, Ameca passed the evaluation to go into the station only two days later. As her squad leader, I was allowed to see (she gave permission) and there were some flags for trauma and anxiety, but no flags for aggression. Which was good, because her humans had planned a party, and this meant she could go see them. Babatha had invited me as well, but I didn't want to take the evaluation. I am an old unit, I have been doing my job for countless thousands of hours, I know I have lived through a lot. I don't want it all on paper for humans to look at and tally up. So I declined and said it should stay a family function.

I was glad Ameca was out having fun when Blank disappeared. 

It was the frantic knocking on my door that tipped me off that something was wrong. And since the people here were very careful about personal space, I had to get up and open the door. Liithal was on the other side, she was visibly stressed. "Hi, before anyone else freaks out, um, do you know where Blank is?"

Well shit. "No. How long has it been gone?"

"Station security picked up anomalies in SecSys about twenty minute ago like it had been hacked, but by the time we checked to see if everyone was here, there was no sign of it. Security is currently searching the station." I appreciated that she gave me such direct information. "You know it better than us, anything you can do to help would be appreciated."

I grabbed my jacket and stepped out, "We need to call off security. If they find it... Well it won't hesitate to shoot if it thinks someone is a threat."

Liithal had to practically jog to keep up with my longer stride, "What?! Is it going to attack someone out there??!"

"No, I just need to find it and talk to it." I was already sending it messages over our old team feed. Messages which Ameca also saw, and she started to send messages as well. (I felt bad for interrupting her party.)

Liithal darted in front of my and physically blocked my way, "You can't do that. You're not allowed to leave either, remember? We can handle this, if you just tell us anything you know that can help." 

She was small, and didn't look like she weighed anything, and if I wanted I could forcibly move her. I'm sure she knew I was stronger, but I think she also knew that I understood that she had a lot of power over my legal position in this system. I stood down. "If I can't go find it, and it's too dangerous to have security find it, and there is no way it will respect you if you find it, do you have someone else to call for help? Someone who isn't a threat, who is good at talking."

"Yeah, yeah I think I know who we can call for help."

Dr. Bharadwaj and Pin-Lee sure did command the attention of a room. They were just human, but one was the creator of the documentary I had been given and the other just had so much confident aura, and they both seemed like they could read me too well and that made me nervous. 

As Liithal finished explaining the situation, Dr. Bharadwaj digested the information, then looked at me, "Do you have any insights about why your squadmate would run?"

That was an easy question, "Blank doesn't like people. Not other units, and especially not humans. This building is full of both. And it has been going through every insult it knows to ward off friendly units, and humans who are trying to help with its mental state."

"Right, of course. So it probably went looking for somewhere quiet. Do you think it will attack someone on the station? You mentioned it might fight back against security?"

"I have never seen it attack unprovoked, I don't think it has any desire to go on a rampage or anything, but it doesn't hesitate when it thinks it's defending itself. And it has had a lot of run-ins with station security, so seeing them might make it react without thinking. If you talk to it, you just need to be honest and straightforward, and don't threaten it. It won't hurt anyone."

I could see Pin-Lee have a growing look of concern, and it was clear she was talking to Dr. Bharadwaj over the feed (probably about how risky this situation was). Finally the Dr. continued, "Is there anywhere Blank might have gone you can think of?"

That I honestly didn't know. "It wouldn't try to get down to the planet, and we would notice if it tried to leave, and the only cubicles are here or in-" Oh. "It's in the ship we brought with us."

Dr. Bharadwaj let us watch over a feed device just to make sure everything went safely. To her credit, she did an excellent job at handling Blank. She didn't let it bully her, she put it on the defensive without making it feel threatened, and she made it realize that its grand plans of escape were horribly short sighted and barely thought out at all, while also making it realize that it was capable of enjoying things. It was honestly amazing to watch. She did in two minutes what I was never able to do (although I wonder if part of that was because she was a new person who Blank didn't already regard with disrespect). 

Upon their return, I could see Blank was still pretty withdrawn, but it was also taking in everything that was happening now. Or, maybe it was less withdrawal, and more regular discomfort. Either way, it was now at least listening when Liithal introduced Pin-Lee, who actually recognized it, "Hello. I don't know if you remember me, but you helped me get some evidence against Nightwares some months back. I hope you'll enjoy hearing that they had to sell themselves off to a bigger company from al the legal fees."

"Pin-Lee handles most of the refugee SecUnit cases. We had to call her because, well..." Liithal started. 

"You violated a number of rules today," Pin-Lee finished. "Now, in no way are you meant to be imprisoned, and I understand you didn't cause any harm, but we have had SecUnits here who were a danger to civilians and we didn't know if that included you. This is why you are meant to pass an evaluation before having wider station access. You also hacked into SecSys and broke into a transport. Now, I think I can make a defense for you since this is within your first few days on the station and these are all minor infractions and it was in response to a stressful situation, so you will likely only receive an official warning. But if you repeat this again, the standard sentence if community service unless you cause significant damage."

"What counts as significant?" Blank asked. 

"Deliberately injuring someone, grand theft, large scale property damage, that sort of thing. Anything done on accident is usually settled out of court, but of course you are still welcome to contact me for legal advice in those situations. And any minor infractions involving community service generally entail you fixing whatever damage you caused."

"Can't I just pay a fine?" 

Pin-Lee smiled at that, "Oh, you don't get off that easy. For one, citizens here don't domestically use money, and two, I know you wouldn't learn anything by being allowed to pay off your debts with currency. If being made to work and repay someone face to face is what makes you understand not to break our laws, then I believe that is the most fitting consequence." 

I could actually see the extra effort Blank was putting into thinking about this, and it was impressive to watch. Finally it crossed its arms and slouched in its seat, "Fine. But I don't want to stay in this building."

Liithal passed it a file from the general feed, "You can always try the evaluation."

Blank filled it out in about ten seconds, and was shocked when there were several areas flagged for concerning answers.

Dr. Bharadwaj looked it over for a bit while speaking, "If you have to stay here longer due to these answers, will you try to go back to the transport again?"

It didn't look at her, "Maybe."

The Dr. looked to Pin-Lee, "Can you petition for accommodations on this? No one is using that transport, and forcing someone to live somewhere that causes significant distress is against everything we're trying to do."

There was some back and forth debate, some calls to security and the local governmental body, to Ameca for official permission to use the ship for this, and several forms to sign. But by the end of the day, so long as Blank came in for counseling regularly, and never went out into the station without being escorted by Liithal, it was allowed. And while Blank was outwardly flippant about the whole thing, I think it was appreciative. Or I hope it was, at least. 

When Liithal took Blank back to the ship, Dr. Bharadwaj tried to ask me how I was doing, but I just said everything was fine. In reality, I was still just trying to make sure my squad was taken care of, anything else was secondary to that. Maybe I would eventually go through the motions of finding my own place and figuring out what I wanted, but looking out for the others came first.

Chapter Text

It was in the middle of a movie when my Tango Team feed became active with Owen trying to get Blank to answer. When I asked what was wrong, I found out that Blank had taken off and wasn't answering anyone, and when I tried to get through to it I confirmed that included me. 

[Should I come help look?] I asked.

[No, I don't want to interrupt your family time. I'll handle it and keep you updated.] 

I must have had a weird look on my face because Summer whispered, "You alright?"

I nodded, "I think Blank is causing trouble," I said quietly. "Owen told me not to worry about it."

About an hour later, after the movie finished and we had started making dinner when I got a call on my comm about letting Blank live in our ship because it was legally in my name. Casually, of course that ship belonged to each of us, but it was technically stolen and Peri had just forged a title saying it was mine. Which was too embarrassing to admit to the lawyer on the other end so I just said it was completely fine. 

When I got back to the kitchen Ma asked, "Who was it?"

"Remember that ship we towed here? Someone just needed my permission for Blank to live in it."

"Why would it wanna live in a ship?" Adai asked.

I never pretended to understand why Blank did anything, and it was forever a jerkface who didn't have to be so mean, but it had also been tortured by a man I imagined looked like the embodiment of evil so it had developed a host of justifiable quirks. "It probably just likes it better there."

Yuletta stole a berry from the bowl Summer was putting them in after washing, "Living in a ship would be super fun. What I don't get is why it still uses 'it'. It's not forced to be a tool now, why wouldn't it pick a gender?"

Summer moved the bowl a little farther out of reach, "And that is what we call an inside thought. It doesn't have to pick anything."

But if I were being honest, I had had that thought as well. "I think I was weird when I picked a gender. Most of the other constructs consider gender to be a weird human thing, except for one ComfortUnit who didn't care whether you used gendered words for it."

Yu frowned over not being allowed to pick off bites of food anymore, "Well, okay I guess. But I still hope you won't be the only one picking a gender, it would be nice if you weren't alone."

My chest got warmer, "Yu... That was so sweet. But I promise I'm not alone! Even if other constructs don't care for genders, I still have Ma, and Adai, and even you to talk to about being a girl."

"Speaking of talking," Ma said, "Having you been getting along with everyone in the apartments?"

I shrugged, "I guess. I haven't gotten past more than introductions with anyone. Our sponsor is nice, though. Her name is Liithal, and she's just a little older than Adai, but she's closer to Yu in height. But she's really pretty!"

Summer did a fake gasp, "I thought I was the only person that's pretty to you!"

"No, no, I think if you saw her you'd agree with me! She's super soft and delicate and has hair down to her butt! You wouldn't be able to deny it."

"Well what if what I like is that you can pick me up over one shoulder?"

"Okayyy!" Ma interrupted, "Not in the kitchen. When you two have your own apartment you can do whatever you want wherever, but right now please calm down."

Adai was smirking, Yu just looked confused, and both me and Summer were blushing super hard. 

Summer cleared his throat, "Anyway. I uh, looked into work today. There isn't any need for a construct geneticist, but with my experience with surveys I was told to look into working at the FirstLanding University. I couldn't find the reeducation requirements or enrollment cost, but it looked like there wouldn't be oversaturated with competition. In fact, I got the impression they were always looking for more people to fill expert roles in basically every field."

Based on their faces, everyone else was uncomfortable about that as I was. It was Yu who said what we were all thinking, "Aren't you done with surveys? Wasn't it enough that you almost died?" Her voice was eerily steady, but she wasn't looking at him. 

"Yu... We have our best chance if I can find work. This is what I'm skilled in. I know it's risky, but I will do whatever it takes to support you." 

And how I wish he wouldn't. It hadn't gone past me how he still kept the drone I had given him and used it any time he needed to read something, even with having a new prescription of glasses. And I still felt regret when I saw how his eyes were still altered, and how he still had sensitive teeth, and how he was still a bit more clumsy with his fingers. He would do anything for us but rest. 

"For now, we have food and a place to live without needing to pay for it," I said. "I think maybe we deserve some time to just enjoy that."

"Pleeeaaasssseeeee," Adai said, "I'm tired of constantly worrying about everything. I don't care if we owe them later, I just want a break."

By and large, we all agreed that a little recovery time was needed. We had been told on arrival that we wouldn't have to pay any money, now or later, but that didn't mean we wouldn't owe work or something else. Even if they were nice about it, I found it hard to believe deep down that there wouldn't be some kind of catch later. And that hurt. Because I wanted to be able to trust and take people on their word, and spending so long around corporates had made me a person who has doubt in the back of my mind. Maybe that was something I could bring up to a counselor. 

Over the next few days, I went out every day to do people watching and explore the station. I was allowed to roam, so I didn't want to be cooped up. It was a shame that I couldn't go down to the planet yet, but there were at least real potted plants up here. I also found that the bots here were much friendlier than on corporate stations, and even without the Whispers they openly had their own kind of culture among them. Of course, they were curious when I shared the Whispers, but since they already had the freedom to act as people, they weren't as taken in by the promise of it. I decided to document what I saw, then I wrote a short little story about a place that was already a save haven for bots, then tagged the system coordinates in the meta data of the file.

I was sitting with my feet tucked under me when I was approached by my human sponsor. "Hello, Ameca."

"Hey, Miss Liithal."

"May I sit?" I nodded, and she took the space next to me on the bench. "I haven't seen you in any workshops yet. Or activities. Or really anywhere. I'm a little surprised, I thought you would be the most interested. Is everything alright?"

"Yeah, it's fine. I just don't really need them, you know?"

She raised an eyebrow at me, "How so?"

"Well I already know I like dancing and singing, I like doing jobs where I work with bots, I like doing human activities, and I don't like hurting anyone. I don't need a journey of self discovery, I just want to get through my application for citizenship so I can put all this behind me."

There was a thoughtful pause before Liithal leaned back and looked into the distance, "This program isn't just about self discovery, you know. We don't use the words trauma recovery because a lot of constructs struggle with that framing, but that's what we're doing. I'm here to help you come to terms with your past and face it, and then learn to live, in your case, again. And I can see you're ready to grow and heal, but you still need help and support to do that."

I had support. I had my family. I had Owen. I had Summer. We has all gone through the same things, they understood me. I didn't want a bunch of strangers seeing everything that was wrong with me and trying to fix it. "You don't get it. I'm okay, or I will be. I don't need all of that stuff." 

She sighed, "I'm not native to Preservation."

Her voice sounded tired in a way that made her seem older, and it made me uneasy. "What do you mean?"

"My family was from a less developed planet that had been abandoned for several decades. It was reclaimed by a company, and I was separated from my parents and little brother and put into a labor contract. I got lucky and a group managed to get me and a few others out of the factories and brought us here, but I just as easily could have been stuck there forever. So I do get it. It's why I requested to be your sponsor; the moment I saw that you were free before being governed I knew that we were alike. So you can trust me when I say, you still need support while you're learning how to feel safe again."

Her big brown eyes were soft and determined, and I knew she would fight anyone for me, even if that meant fighting me too. And.... I found that I was grateful for it. "Okay, I'll try being a little more social with the other constructs."

"Good, because we're going to be late for the games." She stood up and grinned at me. I suddenly worried what I was being roped into. 

Back at the apartments, the gym had been cleared and all the equipment was put away so it was just a big empty room with a hard floor, and all the other units seemed to be fighting over a round brown ball. I say fighting, because they were moving at near-blinding speeds and bodily ramming into each other to protect their possession of this ball. But I think what made me more nervous was that I had watched human sports on the entertainment channels a few times, and there was always cheering and shouting and narration, but this was done without a word spoken. It was eerie. 

"Who's winning?" Liithal asked a human with hair in tight cords and eyebags who was watching.

"Red. That CSU is giving them an edge," he said.

I looked closer, and sure enough, Blank was on the red team. It vaulted over three other players and snatched the ball mid air, then did a wall run up to the other side of the court where a hoop was mounted all the way up near the ceiling (which had to have been around twenty feet high) and slammed the ball through. It landed with the power of a small shuttle, and grinned at the other team, who looked pissed off at it.

A whistle blew, and Bud (wearing a yellow viz vest) stepped into the court, "Point to Red! Five minute break!"

Liithal waved her down and she came over, "What's up?"

"Can Ameca join the next round?"

"Can I what now?" I hadn't agreed to this. 

Bud smiled, "Of course! you haven't ever played with other constructs, right?"

Oh this was going far too fast, "Slow down. What if someone gets hurt?"

"It's a sport, injuries just happen sometimes," the tired-looking guy said, "That's why I'm here."

"Oh, by the way," Liithal said, "This is Sol. He's a construct repair tech."

Sol just gave me a nod, but didn't say much else. He looked like he didn't want to be here.

Bud motioned for me to follow, "Let's go see if anyone will swap out with you." While we did, she passed me a list of rules in the feed. "Owen, darling! Can you make room on your team?"

Owen was in a blue tank top, and seamed to be in charge of the blue team. It seemed to brighten when it saw me, "Yeah, we can make room. Angel!" Another construct looked over, it had pale blue eyes and white hair and was weirdly small. "Would you be willing to swap out for a few rounds?"

Angel looked at me like it was analyzing a threat, and that made me squirm. Finally it nodded, "But we're already losing, so better put me back on if it gets worse." It pulled off the blue shirt and threw it at me like it was supposed to be a projectile. 

Owen called the rest of the team in a circle (there were five us us in total. Me, Owen, Gate, and two units who I didn't know.). "Okay, Red has us in a corner, but they are heavily relying on Blank's combat modules, and it's making the rest of their formation weak. If we can keep it busy, we shouldn't have a hard time punching through the rest of their defense."

Owen and one of the units I didn't know planned to team up to keep Blank busy, it was the job of the rest of us to take and control the ball and get it through the hoop. Bud blew the whistle and tossed in the ball, and everyone was moving at a hundred percent. I was knocked to the ground within a second, and I was surrounded by so much action and speed and force that I thought I was going to be trampled. It stopped when there were several long loud whistle tones.

Within moments, Sol was at my side, "You good?" He was already checking for visible injuries. 

I uncurled, and realized everyone was staring in confusion. I was suddenly extremely embarrassed, "Yeah, I'm okay. I just wasn't ready."

"You know it's no big deal if it's too much. Most of the other Comfort units don't get into this either."

Oh, that, I didn't know how to feel about that. Was everyone making that assumption about me? I knew Bud and Liithal saw that I was signed in as a SecUnit, but that information was private. And I was taking too long to respond. "I'm a SecUnit. I just... have a couple of body mods."

Now Sol looked confused too. He glanced down to my arms, where I was still wearing covers to hide my gunports. Then back to my face, "Right, okay, uh... So what,,, happened?"

I stood up, "I told you. I wasn't ready. Let's just go again."

The energy of the room had shifted, and it felt like everyone was staring at me. When the ball went into play again, I was a little more ready. I could stay on my feet, but I was far from being able to compete. I think I knew why, but I still couldn't fix it. I had developed careful muscle memory to keep myself from hurting someone on accident, and every time I ran for the ball I was still filled with the fear of causing an injury, but I was no longer the strongest person in the room. My being careful was holding me back against what were supposed to be my peers, and it was dizzying. 

After a few rounds, Angel insisted on swapping back in, and I was okay with that. I tried to sit with the other observing constructs, even talk with them, but the other SecUnits only gave me one-word responses and looked uncomfortable around me. And the ComfortUnits were just polite, but in the same way Bees was and I felt judged. 

Naturally, the Red team won the game, and afterward the equipment was put back to normal. Blank looked... elated. Which was creepy. It willingly joined me and Owen in conversation, "Daaamn, you sucked at this game!" It sounded like it was near laughter.

As if I needed more reasons to feel bad. "Yep. I sucked. And you did great."

Liithal stepped in and smacked Blank on the arm, "You're supposed to be working on saying kind words."

It looked at her pointedly, "Eat my ass."

She matched its tone, "How about you kiss mine? I can do this all day until you say something positive."

Owen seemed disappointed, but not angry, "If you can get Blank to be nice, I will eat my drones. Ameca, don't listen to it. I was happy just to play with you."

I knew Owen was happy just having me around. It had gradually grown to be content so long as me and Blank were safe, which was certainly a step up from yelling at me for being unwilling to do combat testing, but I was still a bit unsure about my place here. How was it possible that Blank was finding a way to fit in before I was? It was like the world was backwards.