Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

The new apartment is quiet. Too quiet. Manon’s out with Sophie and that leaves Dani as the only one in their house. She’s not used to it.

She’s used to the noise. To the chaos of six young girls under one roof, three bedrooms with a pair of girls each. Every time Dani walks into a room there’s bound to be one of her girls already in there. They had a year of being in each other’s back pockets and now… this.

It’s nice having a bit of breathing room, but she was really starting to get into the routine of living with five other girls. Came to crave it, even.

Instead, here, in the two-bedroom apartment that she shares with Manon, it’s a little empty. She’s still buying furniture for the room she has all to herself and filling in those open spaces that the rest of the girls used to fill so effortlessly.

She still has stacks of boxes piled in the corner of her room, but finds no motivation to unpack them.

Instead, she throws herself onto her bed, and pulls out her phone, tapping through her apps to her group chat with the girls.

Dani: what are yall up to

Lara: bored already without us?

Dani: Manon’s out, im by myself

Megan: lonerrrr

Yoonchae: thumbs down

Dani: anyone wanna hang out

Lara: with rhea sorry babe

Megan: me and yoonch are playing roblox

Dani: I don’t wanna do that

Megan: okay damn then don’t

Sophia: im just unpacking some stuff in my room but you can come hang out if you want! <3

Dani snorts. She has no motivation herself to pack, but of course Sophia would, even after a full day of rehearsals.

Dani: omw! Thanks soph xx

Dani pulls herself up off the bed, walks out her bedroom and slips on some shoes by the door. They may all live in separate apartments now, but their company made sure that they were still on the level of the same apartment complex. It makes her breathe easier knowing the girls are still so close.

Sophia and Yoonchae’s apartment is at the end of the corridor. When she gets to the door, she can see that Sophia’s already wedged a shoe in there so that Dani doesn’t have to ring the doorbell. Dani pushes the door open and nudges the lone shoe to its partner—a pair of white sneakers that Sophia wears all the time. She slips off her own shoes and lines them up next to the Filipina’s.

Yoonchae’s room is right by the door, while Sophia's is on the backside of the apartment. Behind their youngest member’s door, she can hear her and Megan loudly talking over the sounds of their game. Dani rolls her eyes with a fond smile.

Sophia’s door is wide open, and the girl is inside, ambling around from one side to the other with boxes open wide and lined by the wall, clothes stacked in any free space she can find.

As soon as Dani walks through her bedroom door, Sophia swivels her head to look at her with the brightest smile. “Hey, girl.”

“Hey, mami. Wow, you’ve really stuck into it,” Dani observes, looking at the lack of bedroom floor she can see.

“It’s messy in here, I know, sorry,” Sophia says offhandedly. She points to the bed behind her, “You can sit on the bed if you want. Kinda the only space I’ve got.”

Dani hums, manoeuvring her way over to sit comfortably on sophia’s bed, back against the pillows. “Ugh,” Dani groans as soon as her head hits the pillow. “God, I’ve been so bored by myself.”

“Tell me about it. It’s so much quieter without you all.”

Dani smiles to Sophia’s back. “You miss us too?” She teases.

Sophia giggles gently, “Of course, I never said I didn’t.”

Dani rolls her eyes, feeling playful. “But you miss me the most, right?”

“Tch,” Sophia says, though the Latina can hear her smile. “I don’t know about that.”

“It’s okay. I won’t tell the girls.”

Sophia lets out a stunned laugh, turning around to say, “I didn’t even say anything!”

And then suddenly, Dani gasps, lifting up from the bed. “Wait, I haven’t even gotten to tell you about the weekend I had! God, this is what happens when we don’t live with each other anymore.”

Sophia smiles, listening to her while she goes back to sorting through her clothes. “Oh yeah? What’d you do?”

“I went out on a date.”

“Oh yeah, I thought I heard you talking to Lara about that.”

“Yeah, his name’s Jason.”

“Right. First date?”

“Yeah. We met through a friend.”

“How’d it go?”

“Eh. I mean, it seemed like it was going alright, and then. I don’t know, he just made a weird comment.”

Sophia looked at her over her shoulder. “What’d he say?”

“I mean, we talking about my career. You know, about what we do, the schedules, the performances. He likes to dance too, so he said something like. I don’t know, he said something like,” Dani drops her voice low, “I mean, I think it’s cool that you get to dance for a job, but I don’t really think I get the big deal of it all. Like, the promoting and stuff. It’s kinda shallow, right?”

Sophia’s mouth immediately twists into a scowl, her brow deepening into an angry line. “What the fuck does that even mean?”

“That’s what I thought!” Suddenly, Dani feels like all the vindictiveness she felt in that moment rush back, suddenly validated by Sophia’s similar reaction. “Like, as if he thought it was okay to say that to me.”

“Ugh,” Sophia says, disgusted. “What a douche.”

“Honestly,” Dani agrees. “What kind of audacity does that statement take? I’m so over men.”

Sophia laughs, turning around back to her clothes.

Dani watches her for a bit, the way she’s so methodical about it. Then she says, “Lowkey, I’m a little jealous Megan and Lara don’t have to deal with it a lot.”

Sophia snorts. “What? Men?”

“Mm. And their fucking audacity.”

Sophia laughs and just shakes her head. She starts picking through the pile of clothes, folding them for the wardrobe. “Well, technically they do, some of the time. And I’m sure there’s still shitty women out there too.”

“Not as much, I’m sure.”

Dani can see Sophia’s crooked smile from where she lounges on the bed. “Well, if you’re so pro-women, why don’t you date them?”

“Would if I could.”

“You’re right. You’re straight. It’s not really a choice.”

Dani goes quiet. She’s looking up at the ceiling, unseeing. Then, says, “I’ve never actually kissed a girl.”

Sophia stops folding her clothes. Looks at her. “Really?” She asks, carefully.

“Mm.”

She can tell Sophia is still looking at her, out the corner of her eye.

Dani exhales harshly, trying to push through the nerves she suddenly, weirdly, feels. “I don’t know. Is that weird? I just wonder if it’s different.”

“Different how?”

“Like. Do women kiss different?”

“Hm,” Sophia says, somewhat offhandedly. She shrugs, looking back at her pile of clothes. While she goes back to sorting through them, she says, “I don’t know, I haven’t kissed a girl either.”

Dani lifts her head to look at her. Her eyebrows raise, “Really?”

Sophia snorts, looking back at her lazily. “Why is that surprising? You haven’t.”

Dani lets her head fall back to the pillow, and looks up the ceiling thoughtfully. “For some reason I just assumed you had.”

Sophia giggles, “Okay, Dani.” The curly-haired girl laughs with her. “I don’t know what that means.”

“Neither do I,” Dani says through giggles.

Their giggles die out, and Dani feels like she’s breathing easier. It makes her feel comfortable enough to ask, “Haven’t you ever thought about it?”

“About what?”

“Kissing a girl.”

“Mm. I don’t know. Not really,” Sophia’s not really paying attention to her anymore, putting the folded clothes in a neat little stack, one with white, one with blacks. One with colours.

“Huh,” Dani works her mouth around. “I hadn’t really thought about before either. Before this moment.”

Sophia doesn’t respond, looking preoccupied with the clothes. Then, she slows down, until she’s not really moving at all, a hand still touching the clothes but not doing anything. She doesn’t look back at Dani when she asks, “Would you want to?”

Dani’s eyebrows shoot up, still looking up at the ceiling and decidedly not at Sophia. “Would I want to kiss a girl?” She affirms.

Sophia’s hands start moving the clothes around again, faster than before. “I don’t know. You sounded like you were curious.”

“I don’t know. I guess I am. A little curious.” Dani fidgets a little with the bed covers by her sides. “I don’t know, isn’t everyone?”

“Well, yeah, sure. I guess being curious is a natural thing. You don’t know if you don’t try, right?”

Dani swallows. She’s actually thinking about nothing at all. There are no thoughts in her brain. “Right,” she says, faintly.

They fall into a silence, the only sounds are those of Sophia rustling through her clothes.

Then, speaking up to the ceiling, Dani says, “Do you want to try?”

It makes Sophia let out a loud, dramatic gasp. Dani immediately springs her head up. The Filipina swivels around, finally looking at Dani. “Daniela,” she admonishes, eyes wide and a smile breaking through her lips. “Are you propositioning me?”

Dani lets out a full-bodied laugh, stunned. The muscles lining the back of Dani’s neck finally relax, and her head falls back to the pillow. “I don’t know, maybe,” Dani responds through chuckles.

Sophia giggles with her, leaning against the wall with a flirty little tilt of the head. She doesn’t say anything. Instead, she saunters forward towards the bed, then leans her hands against the end of the mattress. There, she puts her weight on her hands so she leans forward. She’s still smiling at Dani, a small little curve of the lips and her eyes trained solely on the Latina.

God, she’s so flirty. It’s one of the things that surprised Dani the most once she started to get to know her—her confidence with it, the way she can turn it on so quickly, so effortlessly. She’s watched the way men and fans fall at her feet with just a smile.

She’s flirty with her friends too. It’s a core part of the Filipina’s personality, and a sure way to show that she’s comfortable with the people she’s with. She uses it as a way to joke around, to compliment her friends and make them feel appreciated. And Dani loves it, it makes her laugh and it makes her roll her eyes and she wouldn’t love Sophia if she didn’t love how flirty she is.

Sophia even flirts with Dani often. It’s no secret that they’re the two most affectionate members in their group. That means that, more often than not, Dani’s her target when she starts feeling flirty. Because Dani knows how to give as good as she gets.

But in this moment, with Sophia leaning over and her hair spilling all pretty over her shoulders, and they’re talking about kissing, Dani feels an uncharacteristic blush start to heat up her cheeks.

She sits up further against the mattress and draws her knees up to her chest, trying to get a grip on herself. “I don’t know,” she says again. “It’s just that, like. You’re one of my best friends, Soph. I love you. I’ve heard people say they kiss their best friends all the time, but I haven’t. I would kiss you though, because I love you, and sometimes, actions speak more than words, right?” She’s rambling, she realises faintly.

But it’s bringing a more genuine grin out on Sophia’s face, a fond look in her eye that she often sees in their leader when she looks at her girls, when she looks at her.

Dani clears her throat, dropping her eyes to the bed covers between them. “I’d trust you. If we kissed.”

“I love you too. And I trust you as well.” Sophia’s looking at her all soft, so Dani smiles back to her, feeling the tension in her shoulders lessen. Then, Sophia tilts her head again, eyes changing, “Would you actually wanna kiss me?”

Dani rolls her eyes, groaning and falling back to rest on the pillows again. Sophia laughs again, then comes around to the side of the bed so she can sit on the mattress too, a little bit away from Dani.

“Come on, I’m joking with you,” Sophia says, grasping one of Dani’s knees and shaking it teasingly.

Dani lays unrelenting against the pillows, ignoring the Filipina by training her gaze up at the ceiling.

Sophia shakes her knee again. “Come on, let me kiss you.”

The Latina flicks her eyes back to Sophia’s. The girl is smiling at her still, her hand warm against Dani’s knee. There, she’s rubbing her thumb against the skin gently.

Hesitantly, Dani draws herself up, bunching her hands in the bed covers again. “Wait, I’m kinda nervous.”

Sophia giggles, eyes flicking to her hand on Dani’s knee. “I am too, but don’t make it weird.” Her hand tightens around Dani’s knee for a second, then relaxes.

Dani lets out a breath. “Alright,” she lays her hand over Sophia’s on her knee. Their eyes meet. Dani smiles at her intentionally. “Hey. I love you.”

Sophia smiles too. “I love you too.”

Dani scoots closer, curling her legs up underneath her so that her knees rest against the outside of Sophia’s thigh. Sophia keeps her hand on the Latina’s skin, while Dani draws both hands up to quickly tuck some wayward strands of Sophia’s hair behind her ear, then rest her hands on either side of the Filipina’s neck.

She leans closer, and Sophia’s right there with her until they meet in the middle. Dani’s lips touch against Sophia’s, and the girl is so warm and soft. Sophia’s so gentle with her mouth, hardly even pressing their lips together, but Dani screws her eyes closed and feels her fingertips start to tingle.

Dani’s never been kissed so carefully, so softly, in her whole life.

For a second, Sophia’s hand clenches a little firmer on her knee, and her lips press forward. Dani inhales through her nose.

But then, Sophia pulls away, slowly and with her eyes fluttering. Sophia’s hand is warm against her knee, and her throat works under the touch of Dani’s fingers.

The Filipina smiles at her, a little shakier than before.

“Woah,” Dani breathes, trying to smile back at her. She blinks roughly, trying to centre herself. “You know, if I did like women, I think you’d be right there at the top.” She widens her smile, pushing out her dimple.

It makes Sophia roll her eyes, and she lifts her hand from Dani’s knee to push at her shoulder.

Dani takes it, letting it push her out of Sophia’s space. She inches backwards a little, lounging with her arm outstretched behind her.

“You know, that’s flattering, Dani, thank you.”

“Yeah, you’re welcome,” Dani responds, softly.

They sit there, soft and silent, smiling at each other. Dani’s never kissed a girl before, but she shouldn’t be surprised that she feels this comfortable with having kissed Sophia. It’s Sophia. She’s their fearless leader and she’s Dani’s partner in crime, and she’s one of her best friends. She loves her, and this is just one more way to show it.

In the Latina’s back pocket, her phone buzzes. She pulls it out, reading over the message quickly.

Manon: I’m hooome. And I’ve got gossip, come back asap.

Dani scoffs, pulling herself up from the bed. “Hey, I—uh. I’m gonna go back, Manz wants to talk.”

“Okay,” Sophia watches her stand and start to move out of her bedroom. “Hey—um. We’re okay though, right?”

At the arch of the doorway, Dani turns around, a smile already stretched on her lips. Sophia’s looking at her so carefully. “Of course. Love you, mami.”

That finally makes Sophia smile, her shoulders dropping. “Love you too, Dani.”

The Latina shuts the door behind her, and tries to pay no attention to how her lips are still tingling. As she walks down the corridor, she replays their kiss in her head, the sight of Sophia’s glossy lips up close, her breath on hers.

She loves Sophia with all her heart, the same as the rest of the girls. But she doesn’t think she’ll stop thinking about that kiss for a while. She doesn’t know why.

Maybe she’ll have to kiss Sophia again sometime. Just to be sure.

Chapter Text

Full day rehearsals mean they sweat for hours on end, and it’s (tragically) only after a few hours in that they’re granted their first ten-minute break.  

Sophia immediately breaks away, running to the door and exclaiming, “Thank god, I’ve been holding my bladder for an hour!”  

Dani laughs at her, turning automatically to follow behind her at a more leisurely pace. She calls back to the girls, “I need to go to the bathroom too. We’ll be back!”  

Sophia waits by the studio door for her, theatrically hopping from one foot to the other.  

Dani rolls her eyes and grabs her hand as she reaches her. “So dramatic,” she teases.  

Sophia sticks her tongue out at her. She swings their arms between them, prompting the both of them to skip on their way to the bathroom. 

As soon as they get there, Sophia rushes to a stall and throws the door closed behind her.  

It tears a laugh out of Dani. The Latina meanders up to the sink, washing her hands there and checking her face in the mirror. 

Even through the closed stall door, she can hear that Sophia is humming to herself, the chorus of the song they’re rehearsing sung over and over.  

The toilet flushes. Sophia comes out, already saying, “Hey, you know that one move right at the start of the chorus? I keep tripping over it somehow.” She barely looks at Dani as she passes her, preoccupied with washing her hands in the other sink next to her.  

“Really? I hadn’t noticed, I’m sure it’s not that bad,” Dani’s watching Sophia, but Sophia’s looking at her own reflection through the mirror, checking her lip gloss.  

“It feels weird though,” Sophia pouts, bring a hand up to prod at her bottom lip. She uncovers her favourite lip gloss from her pocket and swipes the wand once over her bottom lip, once over her top lip, then smacks them together a few times.  

“Want me to help you?” Dani lounges by the neighbouring sink, head tilted, eyes on Sophia’s face.  

“Yeah, maybe, just—tell me if it looks off.” Sophia backs up so she can see her body fully in the mirror.  

Dani’s eyes track her movements, the back of her hips against the porcelain. “Show me.”  

Sophia lifts up her hands and cants her hips up, going through the movement carefully.  

Dani watches her closely. “Can you do that again for me?”  

Sophia does it again, and Dani pays more attention to the girl’s hips and feet. “I think you might be leaning too far forward on your feet,” she kicks off from the sink, walking around to the back of Sophia. With her eyes trained on the reflection of Sophia’s body through the mirror, she lays a gentle hand on the outside of the Filipina’s hip, almost at the top of her thigh. She pulls it back, kindly, “Maybe try and keep your weight a little more back, so that your balance is more on the middle of your feet, instead of your toes.”  

With Dani still so close, Sophia tries the move again. The Latina keeps her eyes purposefully trained on their reflection.  

“Oh, wait. Yeah, that does make a bit more sense.”  

“Yeah, right? It should be easier to move your butt, too.”  

Sophia does it again, and this time Dani can’t help but look straight down at Sophia’s backside in front of her.  

Yeah, that seems to be helping.  

“You lookin’?” Sophia says, playfully, over her shoulder. There’s a small flirty curve of the lips on her mouth.  

“Tch,” Dani scoffs with a roll of her eyes. She swats her hand gently on Sophia’s butt, then steps back so they’re not so close.  

“You were,” Sophia insists, following Dani with her eyes.  

“Can’t help it if you were standing right in front of me, mami,” Dani defends, a dimpled grin on her face. She goes back to lean against the sink again.  

“You think I look pretty?” Sophia pushes, that little curl of her lip broadening into a full-blown grin and on the verge of giggles. She saunters after Dani, stepping closer to the sink.  

“Not the word I would’ve used,” Dani says.  

Sophia keeps stepping forward, encouraged by their back and forth. Soon enough though, she’s only one step in front of Dani. And for a second, it’s a little too much. Dani can already feel her eyes flicking down to Sophia’s hips again, that little slip of skin between her shirt and pants.  

The Filipina tries to step forward again, but Dani shoots a hand out, holding it against the front of Sophia’s chest. “Why are you getting so close?” Dani whines.  

“What would you have called me?” Sophia keeps pressing forward against that hand Dani keeps on her chest, still grinning.  

“Oh my god, fishing for compliments much?” Dani says, giggling and rolling her eyes.  

“Tell me!”  

Dani loves Sophia like this—so playful, so flirty. So open with her expressions, the grin on her mouth almost splitting her face in two, her eyes all crinkled at the edges. There’s sparkles in her eyes. Her lips are all glossy still from having reapplied it earlier.  

Dani giggles breathily, then releases the hand she holds on Sophia’s chest, only to instead grasp one of Sophia’s hips in each hand firmly. She pulls the Filipina closer.  

“Mm!” Sophia lets out, surprised.  

Dani holds her close, her thumbs running over the juts of Sophia’s hipbones. Their shoes touch.  

Sophia’s gaze flickers between each of her eyes, a smaller, more delicate smile starting to hesitantly rise on her lips. She brings her hands up to hold onto the curly-haired girl’s elbows loosely.  

For a moment, Dani just takes a breath, drawing comfort from how close her best friend is.  

“I thought you looked hot,” Dani says simply.  

Sophia’s smile widens. There’s a pleased glean in her eyes. “Daniela, you flirt!”  

Dani guffaws, and Sophia giggles. The Latina draws her closer, so their chests almost touch. “I’m the flirt?”  

“Mhm,” Sophia hums, still giggling. She hasn’t taken her eyes off Dani once.  

“Right,” Dani starts to giggle too, just from watching Sophia.  

Between the tinkling sounds of their laughter, Dani leans forward. She presses their mouths together.  

Dani catches the tail end of Sophia’s giggles against her lips, and it immediately sets her mouth tingling. The gloss that Sophia applied gives her lips a tackier feel, but Dani is pleasantly surprised to find that it’s flavoured. Strawberry. It’s not bad.  

Dani tilts her head minutely, pressing in closer. Sophia follows her lead, tilting her head the other way.  

It’s the second time Daniela and Sophia have kissed, the second time Daniela’s kissed a girl ever, but she’s never felt so comfortable kissing someone else before. Never felt so compelled to kiss someone else in her life.

She doesn’t make a big deal out of it: she wanted to kiss Sophia, so she did. Because Dani loves Sophia.

Sophia pulls away, but stays close enough that their noses touch. “You’re cute,” she says softly.  

“Oh, I call you hot and you think I’m cute?” Dani says, teasing, breath so close against Sophia’s mouth. Her hands flex on Sophia’s hips.  

“You are cute!” Sophia insists, drawing her hands up from Dani’s elbows to rub at her cheeks playfully. The roundness of Dani’s cheeks mush between the grasp of her fingers. “You’re such a softie.”  

Dani rolls her eyes, though there’s still a smile on her face. “Get away from me,” she says flatly, pushing the Filipina back with her hands against her hips.  

Sophia giggles and steps back.  

Dani pushes off from the sink and swivels around to check her reflection in the mirror. There’s a redness to her cheeks—from Sophia pulling at them, she surmises. Dani rearranges a few curls of hair delicately.  

Sophia strides over to the other sink, staring at herself in the mirror there. She touches a finger to her lips. Dani’s ruined the lip gloss she applied earlier. She swipes around the outside of her mouth methodically, gathering the wayward gloss. “Didn’t you have to go to the bathroom?” She asks Dani offhandedly.  

Dani shakes her head. “Nah. Just wanted to keep you company.”  

“See?” Sophia turns her head to look at her, delighted. “You are a softie!”  

Dani rolls her eyes and crosses her arms. There’s a smile on her lips. “Whatever.”  

Sophia giggles at her reaction, then pulls out her lip gloss to reapply again.  

Dani watches her.  

When the Filipina recaps the lid, Dani looks away. Sophia straightens up, then heads toward the bathroom exit. As she passes by Dani, she hooks an arm around her shoulders, drawing them close so that their heads knock together gently.  

Dani wraps her arm around the back of her hips to balance them.  

“What-cha doing after rehearsals tonight?” Sophia asks, walking them back towards the studio.  

“Mm. Probably nothing.”  

“Come round and watch a movie with me?”  

Dani smiles. She rubs her thumb against Sophia’s hip. “Sure. Sounds perfect.”  

--

Dani stretches her arms high above her head, inhaling deeply. They have one more late schedule squeezed in tonight, and then they’ve got the rest of the evening to recuperate.  

Their staff have lined six chairs up neatly in a line in front of a phone on a tripod. They’ll be doing a quick weverse livestream to get their fans excited for their upcoming album.  

It’s hard for Daniela to draw up her energy, having rehearsed all day and come straight into this livestream. She can already feel a certain heaviness to her eyes, which she tries to keep at bay by blinking repeatedly.

A hand passes over the back of her shoulder—just fingertips, really, delicately dancing across the skin there as a small comfort.

Dani looks over her shoulder, already smiling.

Sophia’s there, smiling at her too. The Filipina searches over her face. “You feeling okay?”

Dani nods. “Fine. Just—tired.” She shuffles her feet, turning toward Sophia.

The hand Sophia had on her shoulder drops down her skin to grasp loosely at Dani’s elbow. She rubs her thumb there. “I know,” she empathises gently. “I get it.”

Dani looks at her a little closer.

Sophia’s usually such a ball of energy—such a lithe body and all that theatricality, it’s bound to have to go somewhere. It makes her loud, and chirpy, and magnetic. More often than not, when the rest of the girls have started showing signs of exhaustion, Sophia’s still running on full, and it makes it hard for Daniela to tear her eyes from her.

In fact, Sophia’s never-ending energy helps Dani feel like she can recharge from it. When the Filipina is bouncing off the walls, grin larger than life, it’s hard not to smile back and join in.

But she’s human too, and Dani knows that. More than most people would. She’s been around her long enough to be able to figure out Sophia’s little tells, the cues to when Sophia’s starting to inevitably slow down.

Sophia would never say it, obviously. The responsibility of the mantle of leader, especially, makes her feel like she can’t be the first to say she’s tired. Daniela knows that. Instead, she observes that Sophia’s smile starts to strain around the edges. Her dark eyes, usually so open and warm, have trouble holding the gazes of others for too long, dropping to the floor or sliding sideways just to give herself a moment. She can’t say anything, but because Dani looks close enough, she can tell.

The Filipina is doing those exact things right now; she’s wearing a small, tired smile pressed onto her lips a little too tightly, and she keeps her eyes trained on her hand around Daniela’s elbow, having not met the Latina’s gaze since touching her.

And that’s another thing she’s noticed, having paid attention: Sophia may not like to say she’s tired, but she likes to lean on her friends for comfort, for affection, in those moments.

Recently, she seems to come to Daniela first for that comfort. Dani takes pride in that.

“Hey,” Dani says gently. She steps closer.

Sophia flicks her eyes up to hold Dani’s gaze, finally.

Dani smiles. “Movie night tonight, though, right?”

Sophia lets out a tired little huff of laughter. She’s smiling now. “Yeah. Of course.”

Dani nods, pleased with herself. She takes the hand that Sophia has on her elbow into her own, then leads them over to the line of chairs.

Sophia follows behind her obediently, saying nothing, but the harsh line of her shoulders has relaxed.

Dani sits in the end seat and taps her hand on the seat next to hers, looking up at Sophia with a smile.

When Sophia sits down, Dani draws up the knee closest to the dark-haired girl, getting more comfortable.

Sophia looks at her to smile meaningfully. She drops a hand onto Dani’s raised knee and rubs her skin softly, just to feel their skin touch again. “Thank you,” she says.

Dani doesn’t ask clarification for why Sophia’s showing her gratitude. Really, she thinks there probably isn’t a clear reason. But Dani gets it—they look after each other in moments like this. “Always, babe,” Dani says gently.

--

Thankfully, their livestream doesn’t last terribly long. It’s clear all the girls are a little low energy, but they have some good moments and Dani enjoys keeping the livestream on her phone and scrolling through the comments.

Sophia sticks close next to her, seeming to find any excuse to link their arms together, to draw shapes on her knee, to rest her hand in Dani’s lap. The Latina lives for it.

It helps the livestream pass by in a blur. Before Daniela even knows it, they’re wrapping up.

Once the cameras turn off, Dani stands up from her chair, stretches up her arms once more and lets out a loud and overly dramatic groan. “I am so ready to lay in bed,” she states.

“Girl, same,” Manon agrees, on the other side of Sophia. “I don’t think I’ve been horizontal in like—I swear, like, twenty hours.”

Dani snorts.

Sophia stands up between them, then turns around to start picking the chairs up and return them to their stacks in the corner of the room. “I agree, guys. Let’s pack up quickly and then we can get back to the apartments.”

Daniela follows her lead, taking the chair next to Sophia’s and following behind her to the corner of the room.

Sophia slots her chair into the smallest stack, then stands to the side to make space for Daniela. She puts a soft hand on the Latina’s back.

Dani stacks her chair as well, then smiles a dimpled grin at Sophia across her shoulder.

“What movie do you wanna watch tonight?” Daniela asks.

They walk together back to their group of girls. Sophia’s hand slides downwards from Dani’s back, her thumb hooking in casually to one of the Latina’s back pockets. It keeps them walking close.

“I’m thinking Love, Rosie. Have you watched it before?”

“Oh, no, actually—I’ve heard about it though.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah. It’s supposed to be good, right?”

“It’s one of my favourites. I wanna watch it with you.”

Dani looks over to Sophia as they walk closer. Sophia’s already looking at her.

Dani smiles, and Sophia does too, sparkles in her eyes. “Okay. Sounds perfect, then,” Dani responds lowly.

--

Daniela’s surprised to find out that she actually really enjoys the movie. It’s a perfect blend of romance and comedy, and she feels that she hurts with the characters when they miss opportunity after opportunity to truly fall in love and move beyond friends.

They’re over halfway through the movie and Dani and Sophia are curled up in each other’s space. Sophia didn’t want to bother Yoonchae too much with the sound of the movie in the living room, so they’re bunched up in Sophia’s bed, under the covers and lounging against the pillows. The Filipina’s laptop rests on their thighs, pressed tight under the sheets.

On the screen, Rosie rushes to Alex’s wedding, hoping to finally confess her feelings and convince him to stop his marriage to someone else. Alas, she’s too late.

“God, it’s killing me,” Dani complains, driving the middle of her forehead into Sophia’s shoulder.

Sophia giggles tearily, laying her head on top of Dani’s. “It’s the worst, isn’t it.”

“Why couldn’t they just tell each other their feelings when they were younger?” Dani whines, words muddled against Sophia’s skin.

Sophia just laughs breathily, but says nothing more, attention on the screen.

Dani leaves her head on Sophia’s shoulder, turned to watch the screen more comfortably.

This is Daniela’s fourth night in a row spending time over with Sophia. It’s undeniable that they’ve been getting closer, and rationally, Dani can say it’s because of that kiss those few nights ago.

Since then, it’s like they’ve opened the Pandora’s box on the affection between them. Dani’s always felt close to Sophia, but they just seem to get closer and closer every day. Dani figures that they’re always next to each other, always touching in some way. The words I love you always seem to be on the tip of her tongue.

Briefly, she worries if that physical dependence is a bad thing. For now though, she revels in it.

Daniela nudges in closer to Sophia, slotting further into the juncture between her shoulder and neck. There, Dani’s nose presses delicately against warm skin.

The Latina breathes in. “You smell nice.” She burrows her nose closer. She hadn’t noticed it before. It’s a perfume that blends wonderfully with Sophia’s natural scent, and up so close against the side of her neck, Daniela can smell it so potently.

The light touches set Sophia giggling, squirming against the Latina’s body. “That tickles!” She breathes through laughter.

Dani giggles with her, grinning against Sophia’s skin. She continues to breathe her in closely. “Wait, pause, you actually smell really good! What is that—like, vanilla, right? And flowers.”

Dani draws her nose up toward Sophia’s ear, and it suddenly makes the Filipina’s giggles hitch.

Sophia swallows roughly and clenches her hands. “It’s um. It’s Mod Vanilla.”

Dani smiles, her mouth stretching out against the warming skin. She likes hearing Sophia’s breath hitch like that. The Latina decides to give her a little grace, and continues on. “Can I borrow it sometime?”

Sophia laughs breathily, eyes closed. “What, you’re okay with smelling the same?”

“Who cares?”

Dani feels Sophia nod, the Filipina’s skin moving under Dani’s nose. “Okay. Sure,” Sophia whispers.

Dani nuzzles into the skin. Then, quickly, softly, she presses a kiss just under Sophia’s ear. “Thank you,” she whispers. “Love you.”

When she pulls away, Sophia doesn’t say anything. Daniela tries to keep her gaze resolutely on the screen for rest of the movie, and they remain mostly silent as they watch it. She leans into how their shoulders touch, but she doesn’t herself drop her head onto Sophia’s shoulder again.

Chapter Text

The mornings are much quieter when there’s only her and Manon in their apartment.

Both of them are decidedly not morning people, and would much rather maximise their time in bed until they really do have to get up for their day’s schedules. Usually, Dani lays around in her room until about ten minutes before they have to leave, and it’s only then that she’ll quickly throw some clothes on and brush her teeth and wash her face. If she’s lucky, she’ll remember to grab something quick to eat on the drive.

It was different when they all lived together. Daniela and Sophia had a routine. While, yes, the Latina still tended to leave it until the last few minutes to roll out of bed, Sophia wasn’t the same. By the time Daniela got the kitchen, Sophia had already had her own breakfast, and left some cut fruit and a box of cereal out on the counter. As Daniela ate her breakfast, Sophia would sit quietly next to her, sipping her tea. Once Dani finally started to feel like a real person, they would talk quietly amongst themselves.

Walking into the kitchen now, eyes half-closed and running on muscle memory, she almost expects to see Sophia there by the counter, smiling brightly while cutting up some strawberries and pouring cereal into a bowl.

Instead, upon further inspection, Dani realises it’s actually Manon, and the girl looks just as tired as the Latina.

“Thought you were Sophia for a second,” Daniela grumbles.

“Now why would you think that?” Manon asks, flatly and playfully disappointed.

Dani laughs tiredly, rubbing at her eyes. “I don’t even know, dude.”

“What are you even on,” Manon continues. She passes the cereal box to Dani, then asks, “Actually, where were you last night? I didn’t even hear you come in before I went to bed.”

“Oh, I stayed at Sophia’s last night. We were watching a movie.”

“Oh, really?”

“Yeah. Love, Rosie. It’s one of Sophia’s favourites.” Dani mindlessly pours her cereal into a bowl, then walks to the fridge to add some milk, and ambles to the dining table. She draws a leg up comfortably, and scoops the cereal into her mouth mechanically.

“Did you stay there last night?”

“What? No, well—I think I fell asleep for a little bit, actually. But when I woke up, I came back.”

“Huh. Must’ve been really late though.”

Dani shrugs, drawing her spoon around the bowl. “I guess so.”

Manon seats herself on the other side of the table, and they eat their breakfast together in comfortable, companionable silence.

Manon finishes her cereal first. She gets up and brings her bowl to the dishwasher. “Are we picking anyone else up on the way to the company?”

Dani shakes her head. “Nah. Soph said Megan’ll drive her and Yoonchae today.”

“And Lara?”

“Dunno. Didn’t ask. I guess she’s driving herself?”

Manon laughs, turning back to look at Dani. With a teasing grin on her face, she says, “Seems you only know things about Sophia these days.”

Daniela turns in her chair to look at her, eyes squinted. “What does that mean?”

Manon laughs, mouth twisted and eyes glinting. “Nothing, babe. It means nothing.” She pats Dani on the head as she passes her on the way to her bedroom. “I’m gonna get dressed. I’ll be five minutes!”

--

Dani finds it hard to lock into conversation with Manon on the drive up. Her head is still back in the kitchen, on what they were talking about during breakfast.

Seems you only know things about Sophia these days.

Dani can’t stop thinking about that. What would that even mean? After going through their whole conversation multiple times in her head, she can at least confess to herself that, yes, she did admittedly bring up Sophia multiple times that morning. In fact, she realises that she’s been bringing up Sophia much more regularly these days. But she doesn’t think that’s too out of pocket—she’s been hanging out with Sophia the most. It’s natural that she would come up in the stories Dani tells, because more often than not, Sophia was there for them.

Every time Dani looks over her shoulder, she expects that Sophia will be standing right there, smiling at her. Every time she opens her hand, she expects that Sophia will grab it and intertwine their fingers. She expects that every time they’re alone, one of them might even be overcome with their love for each other and they might kiss.

She kisses her best friend regularly. In the privacy of her mind, that’s something she can admit to herself. It’s because they love each other, and this is just one of the many affectionate ways that they like to show it to each other. Without the context though, without verbalising all of those feelings she has for her best friend, one might think them weird for it, if she were to ever say such words aloud.

But if it were weird if she said it aloud, does that make it weird nonetheless?

They’ve kissed a fair few times by this point, and it’s only now, sitting in the car with Manon and having been teased about their closeness this morning, that Dani starts to feel insecure about her friendship with Sophia.

She’s Sophia, though. That closeness, that flirtation and affection, is so integral to who she is as a person. And she’s Dani, who loves so hard and so fast and is so open with how she loves her friends. Because of this, the depth of the friendship between them seems inevitable to the Latina. Every time they’ve kissed, Dani’s felt nothing but overwhelming comfort. It seems natural, like they were two planets forever orbiting each other, closer and closer until one day they knew they would collide and become one.

She shouldn’t be made to feel weird about the love she has for her friends, Sophia included.

With this, she tries to cast the insecurities out of her head.

By now, they’ve pulled into the parking lot in front of their company. As Dani gets out of the driver’s seat, her phone pings in her back pocket.

She pulls it out. It’s a notification from Jason.

Jason: hey, I really enjoyed getting to know you on our date last weekend. Keen for another this Sunday? Lunch?

Dani just stands there, staring at the message for a while. She lifts her eyes from her phone to see Manon join the rest of the girls standing in front of the company lobby. Her eyes catch especially on Sophia, and how the girl gives a fond smile to Manon and casts her eyes over the Ghanaian’s shoulder to look at Dani, further away. When their eyes meet, Sophia’s smile widens, her teeth gleaming. Her eyes twinkle. She’s so pretty, and in this moment, she’s smiling just for Dani.

She straightens her arm out in Dani’s direction and shakes her fingers playfully. Come.

Immediately, Dani walks in their direction. As she appreciates the way the sunlight spills across Sophia’s shoulders and lightens the crown of her hair, the her phone burns in her hand.

She looks back down as she walks, and replies to Jason’s message.

Dani: Sure. :)

--

Late on Sunday morning, Dani drives herself to a restaurant on the East side of Los Angeles, where she meets Jason.

He greets her with a smile. Dani reckons it looks kind of cute on him.

He opens the door for her when they walk in. When they reach their table, he’s quick to pull out a seat for her before Dani can even think about it.

He’s attentive this time. He’s asking thoughtful questions and following up her answers with further discussion. He’s complimenting her.

But Dani’s preoccupied. Halfway through their dinner, her phone pings. She turns her phone over imperceptibly in her lap to read the notification. She smiles.

Sophia: whatcha doinnnnn

And then, followed up almost immediately with:

Sophia: I just checked your location lawl why are you on the east side <3

When Jason looks down at his food while continuing his story, Daniela takes the opportunity the text Sophia back under the table.

Dani: hello beloved stalker

Sophia: yeah yeah hi answer the question gorgeous

Dani smiles, then hesitates for a moment, thumb hovering over the screen.

Dani: out with a friend

Sophia: okayyyyy

Sophia: when you come home do you wanna watch a movie

Dani: of course mami

Immediately after, Sophia sends a stupid gif of two cartoon cats cuddling. Dani heart-reacts it.

Dani spends the rest of the date half-listening. She lets him kiss her cheek when they say goodbye.

On the short walk back to her parked car, the Latina is already on her phone and letting Sophia know she’s on the way home.

--

During their first sweet, sweet break from rehearsal, Dani beelines for her bag in the corner of the room, dropping to lounge on the floor in front of it. A mere few drops of water, and maybe she won’t drop dead today.

“So,” she hears Manon drawl out from behind her. Dani checks over her shoulder to see who she’s talking to. They lock eyes, Manon grinning mischievously. “Where’d you go yesterday? You weren’t at home all day.”

“Yesterday?” Dani responds lazily. She brings her water bottle up to her mouth, drinking deeply. When she screws the lid back on, she says, simply, “Soph and I watched a movie.”

She sees Sophia smiling at her over Manon’s shoulder, drinking from her own water bottle.

Manon rolls her eyes, “No, doofus, I know that. That was in the afternoon, but you left home way earlier. Where’d you go?”

Dani scoffs at Manon’s nosey behaviour, but she’s still smiling, used to it by now. Besides, the rest of the girls seem interested too, listening from various spots along the floor as they drink from their water. “I just went out with a friend for lunch.”

“Who?”

“Damn, nosey!” Dani exclaims, mostly joking. All of their eyes on her are suddenly starting to make her feel a little too perceived.

Lara cuts in from her spot lounged on the wall, voice lilted with a lightness. “Why are you being secretive all of the sudden? Why would we care, just tell us who it is.”

Dani plays with the cap of her water bottle, looking at all her members as she says, “It’s Jason.”

“Who’s Jason?” Yoonchae asks.

“That guy I went on a date with last weekend.”

“Ohhhh, Jason,” Megan says, finally understanding.

“Jason?” Manon affirms, eyebrows lowered. “So, a second date?”

Dani nods. “Yeah. It was—pretty last minute, he only texted me on Friday.”

Lara speaks up again, “Wait, but—I thought you didn’t enjoy that first date?”

Dani immediately defends, “It’s not that I didn’t enjoy it, it’s just—we’re just. We’re still getting to know each other. It’s really early stages.”

“Right,” Manon says, a note of suspicion in her voice.

Dani looks between all the girls, suddenly growing anxious with how quiet they’re being—how weird they’re being. She wrings her water bottle between her hands. They’ve always talked openly amongst them about their relationships. Why are they being weird now?

“Well,” Megan starts, her voice bright. “It’s nice getting to know someone new, though, right?” She smiles at Daniela.

Dani appreciates her optimism, the way she’s making the conversation less probing on the Latina. “I guess so,” She responds quietly. 

Sophia hasn’t said a word, Dani realises. She looks over to the Filipina, and sees that she’s just sitting there quietly on the opposite side of the room, gaze trained on her water bottle in front of her. She seems to be listening, but she’s not been contributing at all.

Dani just watches her for a little bit, trying to observe how she’s feeling. Slowly, Sophia picks up her head from looking down at her bottle, and looks up to catch Daniela’s gaze. She gives a small, hesitant smile.

Daniela smiles back. Then, her ringtone starts playing from her phone.

She rummages through her bag until she finds her phone, then flips the screen to check the caller. It’s Jason.

Her eyes flick up to the girls. They’re all preoccupied with their own things, except for Sophia, who’s still watching. The Latina flicks her gaze back down to her phone.

She accepts the call, and brings the phone up to her ear. “Hey,” she says politely into the receiver.

She listens to him call while she sits there in the corner, the rest of the girls enjoying their break amongst themselves. She can hear them joking around, bantering, their energy recharging. Every once in a while, her eyes flicker over to Sophia, who doesn’t seem to be joining in on the fun.

Like her, the Sophia sits by herself, gaze resolutely on her phone. The Filipina doesn’t speak.

Just before their ten-minute break is up, Dani’s about to start saying goodbye to Jason on the phone, and she sees Megan break away from the group of girls to approach Sophia.

Once she reaches Sophia, Megan squats down in front of her with a friendly smile. Dani hears Megan ask the girl, “Are you okay?”

Sophia nods, her eyes hardly looking up from her phone. Dani sees her put a smile on her face, then say, “I think I’ve just got a bit of a sore throat.”

“Okay,” Megan says, nodding. “Make sure you drink water, yeah?”

Sophia gives her a soft smile. Dani presses the end call button on her phone and stands back up. “Thanks, Megs,” she hears Sophia telling Megan.

Dani walks back into the middle of the studio at the same time that Megan breaks away from Sophia. She looks over Megan’s shoulder to try and catch Sophia’s eye, but the girl has gone back to looking down at her water bottle.

The Filipina puts it back on the floor and stands up to join them all. Dani keeps watching her, but their gazes never meet. She sees Sophia paint a smile on her face, and ask brightly, “Back to it, everyone?”

Rehearsal continues.

--

That night, as soon as she walks into her apartment with Manon, she goes into her bedroom and stops short.

Today was weird. She can’t shake the feeling that something was wrong.

She prides herself on the fact that she can read her members pretty well. She’s come to know when they’re feeling a little off, even if they can’t say it. With how close she’s been with Sophia recently, she believes she can read her the best.

She knows when Sophia feels tired. She knows when Sophia feels sick. She knows when Sophia is upset.

Someone who’s not close to Sophia might not be able to differentiate these emotions well. Sophia’s not one to dwell overtly on negativity, preferring to make a quick joke of it and move on. Someone who doesn’t pay attention might not even pick up on those few seconds that Sophia might let down her guard.

But Dani does.

Today, Sophia was upset. She was good during rehearsal, keeping on top of counts and doing exactly what was asked of her. But the jokes she tried to make to cover up her feelings came off more forced than usual. On their breaks, her shoulders immediately hunched, and she went to go sit in the corner by herself.

She didn’t sit next to Daniela. She didn’t come around to hug her, or jokingly flirt with her, or even smile at her, really. Dani felt the distance acutely, violently.

She had a sore throat, Dani had heard the Filipina telling Megan, sweet Megan who had gone over to her in the corner to ask if she was okay.

But she didn’t look how she normally did when she was sick. She was quiet, yes, but when she was sick she became even more clingier than she usually was. She liked to use her excuse of being sick to hang off her members, all playful and baby-ish to endear them to her and get them to jokingly fuss over her.

There was none of that today. In Dani’s mind, she maintains that Sophia must’ve been upset about something. She’s just not sure what, though.  

No matter—Dani would do what she could, as always, to fix things for Sophia. To make her comfortable. To get her happy.

Even though she just walked into her bedroom, she turns around on her heel to walk straight out again. At Manon’s door, she says a quick, “Going to Sophia’s!”

She hears Manon grunt back, and continues out their front door.

She walks quickly through the corridor between their apartments and rings Sophia and Yoonchae’s doorbell. While she waits impatiently, she tucks her hands into her pockets and rocks on her heels.

Yoonchae opens the door. She doesn’t look surprised to see her.

“Hey,” Daniela says, kindly but quickly.

Yoonchae minutely widens the door, and Dani slips in.

“Soph in?” Dani asks unnecessarily.

“In her room,” Yoonchae shuts the door behind them.

“Cool. I’m uh. Gonna make her some tea, did you want some?” Dani messily toes off her shoes, hardly looking at Yoonchae as she makes her way the kitchen.

She can hear Yoonchae following her. “Mm, no, I’m okay. Thanks though.”

“Alright,” Dani responds offhandedly.

As the Latina pulls out a cup, turns on the kettle, and brings out milk and sugar, she can tell that their youngest member is still standing behind her. She listens to the kettle warm up a little bit, then looks over her shoulder to meet Yoonchae’s gaze.

Yoonchae stands there, on the boundary of the kitchen and the living room, looking hesitantly at Daniela.

Dani smiles meaningfully. “You okay, Yoonchip?”

Yoonchae nogs vigorously. “Yeah, um,” she swallows, then turns towards the direction of her bedroom door.

As she starts to walk, Daniela follows her with her gaze, a small, but endeared smile on her lips.

She stops when she reaches her bedroom, one hand on the archway. “Just,” she turns over her shoulder to look at Dani again, a new steel in her eyes. “Can you find out what’s wrong with Sophia? I don’t think she’d talk to the rest of us about it.”

So she could tell too. She should’ve known—while she’s been spending all of this time observing her members and their little tells, they’ve been doing the exact same thing. Megan could tell when they were in rehearsal, and went up to ask her. Manon had been watching her silently, and tried to play up her banter with Lara and Megan to see if she would laugh and join in. Yoonchae stands here now, feeling helpless in getting through to their leader, and asking Daniela to help.

Briefly, she wonders if the rest of the members feel the same; if the rest of their girls have realised how close Daniela and Sophia have been getting lately. That they seek each other first during rehearsals, that they make excuses to spend time together. She wonders if it’s still pride that brings this warmth to her cheeks and her heart beating faster at the thought.

Daniela makes herself nod back, and smiles. “Of course. I will.”

Yoonchae exhales, “Okay. Thanks.” She smiles one last time at Dani, then disappears behind her bedroom door.

By now, the kettle starts whistling, so Dani looks back towards the counter. She drops a tea bag into Sophia’s favourite cup, this comically large, blue, and rounded thing. Then, she fills it with boiling water, adds a teaspoon and a half of sugar, and a few drops of milk. She puts everything back where it’s supposed to be, the way Sophia puts them.

Picking up the cup to hold in two hands, she blows on it a few times, then starts walking carefully to Sophia’s closed bedroom door.

In front of it, she hears no sounds coming out. She holds the cup more securely in one hand by the handle, and knocks on the door a few times with the other.

She receives no response for a few aching seconds, but then, she hears faintly, “Come in.”

Daniela opens the door. Inside, Sophia’s got all the lights off except for her bedside lamp and a few candles on her dresser. The girl sits in her bed under the covers, her laptop perched on her lap and her AirPods in her ears. She must be watching a movie.

Sophia presses the spacebar once she realises it’s Dani standing at the door, and takes an AirPod out of her left ear. She holds it hesitantly in the air by her ear, just looking at Daniela. “Hey,” Sophia says, finally, hesitantly.

“Hey,” Dani says softly, with a smile.

Sophia says nothing further, but her eyes dart between Dani’s face and the cup in her hands.

“Oh! Um,” It’s stupid, but now that she’s here, standing in front of the Filipina, the girl’s favourite cup in her hands and a mission to find out what’s wrong, she’s starting to second guess her abilities. Why is she feeling nervous all of the sudden? This is Sophia. She knows her. She looks down at the steaming tea, trying to banish her insecurities and continue on, “I heard you telling Megan that your throat was sore, so. I brought you some tea.”

“Oh,” She hears Sophia say softly.

“Yeah,” Dani tries to say strongly, assuredly, but she looks back up at Sophia and the dark-haired girl has her eyes so wide and her hair’s all tousled along her shoulders and she looks so relaxed in a soft tank top and sweatpants. She feels her breath hitch in her throat, and tries to clear it. “It’s, um. It’s the way you like it.”

And with that, Sophia smiles. Finally.

Dani feels her shoulders relax. She steps further into the room, out of the archway, and closes the door behind her. “Can I come put it on your nightstand?”

Dani’s being so gentle with her, she knows this. But she can’t help it—Sophia looks so fragile, all tucked up in bed and her eyes so wide as she follows Dani’s movements. The way Sophia’s smiling back at her makes the Latina feel better about it though, like she’s doing the right thing.

Sophia nods at Daniela.

Dani comes closer, and when she’s right by the side of Sophia’s bed, she carefully places the cup on the nightstand, on the side closest to the Filipina. When she looks back across at Sophia, the girl is already smiling at her, eyes all soft, none of that earlier hesitance there.

“What-cha doin’?” Dani says, eyes sliding to the laptop.

“Watching a movie,” Sophia’s eyes quickly drag over to the screen too, but just as quickly, she’s looking across at Daniela again. Slowly, she drops her left hand to the bed beside to her. “Wanna join me?”

Daniela smiles genuinely. “Definitely.”

Sophia moves over the tiniest bit, and Dani slips into the spot, the length of their thighs and the juts of their shoulders pressed together. It’s familiar.

It makes Daniela feel brave enough to grin a little more playfully, then turn to Sophia and pluck the AirPod out of the girl’s hand and put it in her own ear.

When she drops her head onto Sophia’s shoulder, she can see that the Filipina is grinning too.

Mindlessly, Sophia tells her what happened in the first fifteen minutes of the movie that she missed. Dani nods along, her cheek moving against the line of Sophia’s shoulder.

Privately, she doesn’t care much for the movie, feeling her eyes closing and just enjoying the closeness with her best friend. They haven’t had a moment together all day, and Daniela still can’t shake the feeling that Sophia was upset earlier. She wonders if this is the time to push Sophia to talk about it, or if she should let the girl bring it up when she’s ready.

“Tired, Dani?” Sophia asks gently, after a while of having the Latina’s head resting heavily on her shoulder.

“Big rehearsal,” Dani says lazily. Exhaling, she continues, “I feel like I didn’t really rest much this weekend, either. I think it’s piling on.”

Daniela feels Sophia nodding, against the top of her head. Although, the Filipina doesn’t say anything else for a little bit. Dani’s eyes follow Sophia’s hands resting on her lap in front of them, and how they suddenly pull together. Sophia picks at her fingernails, tugs at her cuticles, wrings at her knuckles. “Yeah,” Sophia says, finally, but thinly.

Dani listens to her tone carefully, unmoving against Sophia’s shoulder.

Sophia continues, “You went on another date with that guy, right? Before you came over?”

Dani’s eyebrows cross. What a weird turn of conversation, she thinks. “Jason. Yeah.”

“Right,” Sophia says immediately after. She still pulls at her fingers. “And that was him? That called during our break?”

“Yeah.” Dani feels, abruptly, like she has to explain herself more. “We were just—talking. About the date.”

“Sure.”

Suddenly, they’re silent, and while the audio of the movie plays in the AirPod of Dani’s left ear, she hears none of it. She just sits there, barely blinking, barely breathing, unseeing the movie in front of her while her head still rests numbly on Sophia’s shoulder. Should she press about what’s upset Sophia, or should she let Sophia continue to ask questions about a boy that Dani doesn’t really care much for in this moment?

Then, Sophia takes in a loud, long breath through the mouth. It expands Sophia’s chest and lifts her shoulders, and Dani’s head goes with it. On the exhale, she asks, “And how was the date?”

Distantly, she thinks that Sophia should already know this, sort of. Dani texted Sophia throughout almost the whole date, so she should be able to tell that Dani didn’t exactly have the best time, seeing as her attention was elsewhere. Still, she asks, for some reason.

Daniela chooses to oblige her. “You know, actually, it was a little better than the first,” she confesses candidly. “I think he was really trying more, this time. He didn’t make any weird comments, and you know, he was a gentleman. He made sure to open the doors for me. He pushed out my chair. Bought our meals. Asked me thoughtful questions.” She lists, then hikes her eyebrows up and thinks. “But—”

“But?” Sophia latches on instantly. She’s not looking down at Dani, the Latina can tell. Instead, she’s tense as a board, still pulling at her cuticles and looking straight forward at her bedroom wall.

She hardly seems to be doing much of anything at all when Dani continues, a sudden fire lit within her, “It’s just so awkward when you’re first getting to know someone, you know? Like, it all just feels so fake, and forced, and it makes it so exhausting, you know? Like, I just kinda wish when I meet someone new, I could skip right to when we’re fully comfortable—like right now! Like us. Like, I’m so comfortable with you, I love you, you know?”

“I know,” Sophia says, distantly, and Dani continues on as if she didn’t hear her.

“Like, I could do anything with you. And I do, right? We do everything together. Like, whenever I feel like I love you a lot and words just can’t express it, sometimes it’s better just to kiss you. And that’s just it.”

Sophia suddenly just looks at her, eyes dark. Her hands stop moving.

And Daniela feels like, for the first time, maybe that was too far. But it was honest—Sophia’s never made her feel bad about being honest with her.

She’s about to apologise, even if she doesn’t really know why, when Sophia lowers her head to kiss her, deeper than she usually does. Sophia’s lips enclose fully around Dani’s lower lip, sucking on it intentionally. She tilts her head to slot their mouths together closer.

Dani takes in a big breath of air through her nose, closing her eyes just to ground herself and keep up. Her nose brushes up against Sophia’s cheek. She brings her hands up to cradle Sophia’s jaw, fingers curling into the Filipina’s nape.

Suddenly, Dani can feel Sophia’s warm tongue swipe across her bottom lip, and the Filipina’s hands are pushing at Dani’s hips to lay back against the mattress. Dani follows her obediently, mindlessly, foolishly.

They’ve never kissed like this—against the mattress, like, not upright. It feels…all encompassing. Dani can feel the swell of Sophia’s chest against hers, their stomachs touching, their hips aligned. Sophia’s hair spills forward to brush tantalisingly against Dani’s shoulders.

Quicker than ever before, Dani can feel a sizzling warmth building low in her stomach.

Dani tears her lips from Sophia’s just to gasp, and Sophia takes the moment to attach her lips instead to the corner of Dani’s jaw, right by her ear. She presses wet kisses there, and Dani can hear the sound of it reverberating in her ear. She tightens her grip around Sophia’s shoulders, then draws her hands back around to hug at the line of the Filipina’s spine, pulling the girl in closer.

It makes the jut of Sophia’s hips press all the more tighter against Dani’s, and the Latina gulps. Her next exhale comes out all jumbled in a wrecked little whimper, right by Sophia’s temple.

For a second, she hopes Sophia doesn’t hear it, wants her to pretend it didn’t happen and keep going, but the Filipina stops pressing kisses by her jaw and just rests her mouth there, catching her breath against Dani’s skin. The sound of Sophia’s thin pants echo through Dani’s skull as they lay there, the Latina clinging to Sophia’s back and hoping the girl never moves her hips away.

Sophia pulls her mouth from Dani’s jaw just to whisper by her ear, “I love you too.”

Dani’s brain isn’t working at all, hardly knowing what Sophia is even referring to. All too late, she realises that in her little ramble, she had told Sophia that she loves her. She wonders if that’s what made the Filipina kiss her. Kiss her like that.

Daniela blinks repeatedly, trying to wash away the vivid taste of Sophia’s tongue, all the while still pressed up against one another.

It seems like Sophia doesn’t share the same thoughts. Sophia pulls herself up off the Latina cleanly, righting herself to sit up against the pillows again, and pushes the wayward AirPod more securely into her ear. It must’ve dislodged while they were kissing.

Dani’s hands fall from Sophia’s neck, and she tries to catch her breath secretly. Hands tingling, she presses them into the mattress to sit herself up again and follow Sophia’s lead. Although, she feels like she’s a much more affected, shaky, tingling rendition.

Finally, she sits back next to Sophia against the pillows. She doesn’t know whether to feel weird about how their hot shoulders press together again. She watches Sophia cautiously.

The Filipina turns her head across to her to smile, but her eyes are downcast. “Pass me my tea?”

Daniela swallows, but picks up Sophia’s favourite mug and hands it over. Their fingers don’t touch.

“Thanks,” Sophia says gently. The girl tries to smile wider at Dani, but the Latina can tell it comes out tightly.

Daniela swallows, feeling her hands flex against the mattress.

Sophia sends her gaze forward toward the screen, watching the movie play on.

After a while of just sitting there, Dani finally raises a hand to push her own AirPod back into her ear firmly, and tries to watch the rest of the movie with her best friend.

Following Sophia’s lead, she tells herself to think nothing more of this kiss.

Chapter Text

At first, after that, Dani sits there tensely, eyes on the screen but mind on the kiss. She can still fiercely feel the warmth of their bellies against each other, the sharpness of Sophia’s hipbones nestled against hers. The wetness of Sophia’s mouth, her tongue, on hers.

Every other time they’ve kissed, Daniela’s maintained that Sophia’s affection has made the Latina feel comfortable. The soft press of their mouths cocooned her in Sophia’s love.  

This time though, Daniela can’t say that comfort was at the forefront of her emotions.

As she sits there, Sophia right next to her, a harsh blush comes to her cheeks once she realises that the kiss made her feel hot. She felt desired. She had told the Filipina that she loved her, and the girl had looked at her in a way she had never seen before; her eyes dark and heavy, piercing into Dani. The Latina had been rendered immobile, just with the look in Sophia’s eyes. And then, and then, she had pushed Daniela back so urgently, so wildly, and pressed their mouths together like a woman starved.

She looks at Sophia subtly out of the corner of her eye. She can’t believe the girl seems so unphased by all this. She just sits there, watching the movie serenely, naïve to how much Daniela is feeling right now. Uncaring about how their shoulders still press together. While Sophia seems to think nothing of it, the warmth of their shoulders together makes Daniela think of how Sophia’s hips pressed against hers, just mere moments ago. Every nerve ending on her shoulder is alight where it touches the other girl’s.

Dani has already failed at how she said she would think nothing more of their kiss. She can’t help it. It plays on a loop in her mind, stamped on the back of her eyelids. She watches its reprise every time she blinks. Her lips still tingle. She still feels the ghost of a tickle of Sophia’s hair against her own shoulders.

Daniela takes deep breaths, trying to regulate herself. Get it together, she thinks to herself. This is Sophia, her best friend.  

After a long while of just sitting there staring at nothing, she starts to feel a little more sane. The tingling in her lips goes away and she finally computes the sound of the movie coming in through her AirPod.

She looks closer at the movie on the laptop. “Wait. What the fuck just happened?” She asks, suddenly confused by the turn of events playing out on the screen.

Sophia lets out a short giggle, then says, “Have you been paying attention at all?”

Daniela hunches her shoulders in with a wry grin, sheepish. “I was spacing out,” she confesses.

She sees a smirk grow over on Sophia’s face, but they’re both still looking at the screen. “Right.”

Dani giggles, making herself look at Sophia’s face next to her. Makes herself draw comfort from the sight of her best friend. Don’t be weird. This is Sophia. When she blinks again, she tries to ignore how the memory of their kiss plays out on the back of her eyelids. She knocks their shoulders together, forcefully playful, “No—but. Okay, can you give me, like, a run-down of what’s going on? I’m locking in now.”

Sophia laughs, looking at her now, too. She’s smiling, but Daniela can tell there’s a little guardedness there. Dani wants them to push past this, wants to stop feeling like every move brings them closer to having their lips pressed together again. “Locking in now? Girl, the movie’s been playing for like, an hour.”

“Come on, I’m interested now.” Dani knocks their shoulders together again, taking one of Sophia’s arms into her grasp and shaking it playfully too. She can do these moments of banter, they’re good at these moments.

Sophia finally grins, rolling her eyes fondly at Daniela’s childishness. “Fine.”

As Sophia’s voice filters through her ears, running through the last hour of the movie’s plot, Dani drops her head on to Sophia’s shoulder. Sophia’s voice is tinged with her usual passion and theatricality. It makes the Latina smile, and finally relax. 

With their closeness returned, Dani feels like things are sliding back into place. Daniela and Sophia, again, without any of that earlier weirdness.

She relishes in the warmth of Sophia’s shoulder against her cheek and feels her eyes slip closed. Before she even knows it, she’s lightly dozing off. She hardly even notices when Sophia closes her laptop shut and manoeuvres them both to lay down against the bed, the Latina’s eyes too heavy and body too content to give any reaction.

Sophia lays Daniela’s head down against the pillow, drawing her curls back from her face delicately. The Filipina reaches over her to click off the lamp and then positions herself comfortably, closely, against Dani’s side.

The dark-haired girl’s arm lays low across the top of Dani’s hips. Dani can feel Sophia rest her head on the pillow just above Dani’s shoulder, her chin slightly brushing against it.

For a while, they just lay there, only the quiet sounds of their breathing filling the air.

Then, Sophia whispers, voice warm and fond, “Goodnight, mahal.”

It’s the last thing Dani remembers before she truly falls asleep.

--

When Daniela wakes up in the morning, the first thing she notices is that Sophia’s head is pressed against the side of her neck.

Sophia’s breath comes out in relaxed, warm huffs against her skin. The girl’s arm has stayed firmly atop her hips. They hardly seem to have moved at all during their sleep, which comes as a surprise to Dani. Even in sleep, she usually finds it hard to keep still. Here though, now, it seems Sophia’s hold on her has finally rendered her immovable. As Daniela slowly comes to, she savours Sophia’s affectionate nature.

Daniela just rests there for a moment, her eyes blinking lazily and her cheek pressing against the top of Sophia’s head.

Heartbreakingly, Sophia’s alarm starts to play from her phone.

Sophia automatically whines, tightening her hold around Dani’s hips. “No—” she draws out against Dani’s neck. “I’m so comfortable.”

Dani giggles.

Sophia draws herself up, just enough to lounge on her elbow and look down at Daniela. She blinks a few times, then smiles brightly at the Latina. Her hair falls like silk over her shoulder. “Good morning,” she greets warmly, teeth showing as she grins.

“Mm,” Daniela grunts back, still feeling the world slowly slip into focus. Sophia’s smiling face is in full clarity, and the world around her fuzzes out. “Good morning,” she says as she rubs at her eyes. Then, she continues, “I can’t believe how quickly you wake up.”

Sophia giggles. “What do you mean? It’s time to get up!” She bounds from the bed, a dramatic pep in her step as she looks down at Daniela. She grins broadly, eyes sparkling. She’s putting on a show for Daniela, the Latina notes. Sophia likes to play into things like this, just to get Dani to laugh.

It works. A huff of laughter spills from Dani’s lips. Although they’re very different in the mornings, Sophia’s boundless energy never fails to put an endeared smile on her face. Nevertheless, “This jumping around in the morning? That’s psychopath behaviour, Soph,” Dani teases.

“Ugh, you’re such a grump,” Sophia says, rolling her eyes with a grin. She holds a hand out to Daniela, palm facing up.

Daniela grasps it automatically, the Filipina’s hand warm in hers.

Sophia tightens her fingers around hers to pull her up. Once Daniela’s standing up out of bed, Sophia pats at her cheeks playfully. “Well done, babe. You’re finally up.”

“It was really hard,” Daniela responds, deadpan.

Sophia nods seriously, pouting. “Mm, I’m sure.” Then, the Filipina’s hands drop from Dani’s cheeks, down her arms and grasps again at her hands. The girl squeezes them as she flashes her a warm, fond smile. “Come on, I’ll make you breakfast.”

Dani sighs happily. “Yes, please.”

Sophia leads Dani out of her bedroom and into the living room and kitchen. When they reach the dining table, Sophia pulls out a chair. She turns around to face Dani, puts her hands on both shoulders, and sits the Latina down. There, she pats Daniela on the cheek again, then leaves her to go into the kitchen.

Daniela watches her lazily, arm on the table holding her head up. She’s missed seeing Sophia first thing in the morning, already buzzing and ready to take on the day. This specific view was such a staple for starting her daily routine for years, that she felt the difference immediately when they all moved into their paired apartments.

The Filipina doesn’t do anything differently. She still turns on the kettle and pulls out a cup for herself. While the kettle warms up, she still inspects the fruit bowl for something to cut up for the both of them. She finds a ripe banana and some mango and cuts them up quickly. In the fridge, she brings out a punnet of raspberries and some milk. Across to the pantry, she pulls out a cereal box—Daniela’s favourite. She still keeps it tucked away for the Latina.

This morning routine looks like a dance for her, well-loved and committed to memory. She did this every day for years, so the few months since they’ve been living separately seem to disintegrate, completely overwritten by Daniela’s returned presence in Sophia’s apartment.

The Latina smiles fondly while she watches Sophia go about the kitchen. She wishes she could see this every day for the rest of her life. In fact, she hardly even feels all that tired anymore. It seems Sophia’s returned presence, as well, has reinvigorated Daniela.

“Here we go,” Sophia mumbles after she’s gotten everything prepared, assembling it on the dining table in front of Dani. She drops into the open seat next to the Latina, smiling victoriously. Daniela can hardly take her eyes away from how her mouth curls upward, eyes delighted. “Isn’t this nice?”

“I miss this,” Daniela confesses warmly, smiling back at Sophia.

Sophia giggles, dropping her eyes to the fruit. “Yeah, I’m sure you do. All you have to do is get up and I’m the one who makes all the breakfast.”

“No, I don’t mean it like that,” Daniela drawls out playfully.

Sophia laughs, unbothered.

Daniela keeps her eyes on Sophia as the girl blows on her tea, then takes a sip. “I miss you.”

The mug still touching Sophia’s lips, the girl’s eyes slide over to Dani. The Latina watches how Sophia’s lip curls above the rim. Sophia says nothing, but her eyes are impossibly warm.

“The mornings feel different now, without you around,” Daniela continues softly, heart full.

“Oh yeah?” Sophia now smiles fully, teeth knocking against the cup. “Different how?”

“Well for one, quiet,” Daniela points out, and Sophia rolls her eyes. Dani continues, “but also… I don’t know. I can’t explain it,” suddenly feeling like she has to fidget and distract herself from Sophia’s gaze. Dani pours her cereal into her bowl, along with the milk that Sophia had brought onto the table.

Sophia’s still looking at her, she can tell out the corner of her eye, just sitting there with her teacup poised in her hand.

Daniela lifts a spoonful of cereal to her mouth, but firstly says, rushed, “Sometimes, I just wish we still lived in the same house, altogether, you know? We just—we had a routine, that’s all. It’s different now.” She swallows her cereal, looking down at her bowl.

Sophia just sits there, unresponsive for a few moments. Her body’s turned to Daniela’s. Then, she says lightly, “We still see each other all the time, though.”

“Yeah, but it’s different. We don’t wake up together, anymore.”

“We did today.”

Daniela’s breath hitches. She clears her throat. “I meant, like—all of us.” Her hands tingle, and she embarrassingly starts to feel a blush coming up her neck, remembering how close they woke up this morning. She reaches for some cut mango. “I don’t know, haven’t you ever thought about how different it would be if we all still lived together?”

Sophia takes a slow sip of her tea, then says, “Yeah. Recently, I’ve been thinking about it a lot.”

Dani nods, but finds herself unsure what else to say to that. When she finishes up her cereal, she redirects the conversation. “Hey,” she starts, turning in her chair to face Sophia better. When Sophia meets her gaze, she gives the girl a friendly smile. She lays a gentle hand on Sophia’s forearm. “This morning’s been really nice. Thank you for breakfast.”

Sophia smiles back at her. “Of course. Hopefully the rest of the day’s not too harsh on us with rehearsals.”

Dani rolls her eyes. “Ugh, don’t remind me. I’m not thinking about it until we step foot in the studio.”

Sophia hums, then says, “Oh, on that topic. Would you pretty please drive us to rehearsal today?”

The Latina scrunches her eyebrows, a little affronted. “Of course I will—Soph, you don’t ever have to ask.”

Sophia keeps her eyes on Daniela’s hand still on her arm. Daniela’s been drawing circles there with her thumb unconsciously. “I’ll get my license soon. I promise,” Sophia murmurs, a little sheepish.   

Okay, now Daniela’s actually offended. Her thumb stops moving, “Why would you do that?” She ordains, “Then what am I for?”

It tears a stunned laugh out of Sophia. “What?”

Daniela steamrolls forwards, agitated immensely, “I can always drive you. Why would you bother with getting a license, you’ll never even use it.”

“What happens if you can’t take me someplace?”

“That’ll never happen. I can always drive you.”

“Is that right?” Sophia’s lip curls up lazily. She looks at Daniela warmly, even though Daniela’s still got a scowl on her face.

“Yes. I promise.”

Sophia just giggles. Softly, she says, “Thanks, Dani.”

Daniela just continues to grumble. “You don’t have to thank me,” she says unhappily.

Suddenly, Sophia squeals. She takes hold of the hand Daniela has her forearm and brings it up to her mouth, pretending to gnaw on it. “You’re so cute!” Sophia exclaims aggressively, teeth closing playfully over Dani’s wrist bone.

Dani withdraws her arm to her chest immediately. She whines, “Why’re you biting me! You’re such a weirdo!”

Just then, with Sophia giggling maniacally and Daniela vehemently frowning, Yoonchae steps out of her bedroom door. Their youngest member just looks between them with blank eyes, then says to Daniela, “You’re still here?”

Sophia just smiles at her, ignoring her bleak attitude, “Morning Yoonchae!”

Dani narrows her eyes at her, arm still pulled to her chest. “You should be grateful, Yoonchae, I’m taking you and Soph to rehearsal today!”

Yoonchae joins them at the table and starts picking at some fruit they’ve left over. “You do that all the time.”

Daniela curls her lip at her. “Ungrateful kid,” she mumbles.

“We should probably start going now, though,” Sophia says, checking the time on her phone. She looks at the leftover fruit on the table. “D’you wanna take some of this in the car, Yoonchip?”

“No eating in my car!” Daniela scolds immediately.

Sophia lifts an eyebrow at her, unperturbed. The girl waves an arm to Yoonchae. “She hasn’t had breakfast yet.”

Before Daniela can respond, Yoonchae cuts in, “I’ll just finish this quickly.”

Sophia’s still looking at her, unimpressed. It makes Daniela hunch her shoulders in, and she says quietly to Yoonchae, “You can eat if you want, but please be really careful.”

Yoonchae gives out a little huff of laughter. “Don’t worry, Dani. I’ll eat it now, I’m not that hungry anyway.”

“Okay,” Dani surrenders, but she still feels bad. Her eyes flick over to Sophia’s. Thankfully, her words seem to have worked. The Filipina is no longer scowling at her.   

Sophia runs her fingers over the back of Dani’s shoulders, and the Latina instantly relaxes. “You can wear something out of my closet for rehearsal, if you want.”

Dani smiles at her. “Okay. Thanks.”

Sophia smiles back, eyes soft. Dani’s grateful she’s no longer looking at her all unimpressed anymore.

Dani goes back to Sophia’s bedroom and quickly surveys over the contents of the closet. She pulls out a pair of the girl’s loose jeans and a tight top that she’s noticed Sophia wearing before. It looked extremely flattering on the girl, so she hopes she looks good in it too.

Sophia walks in just as she finishes dressing. When Daniela turns around, she can see that the Filipina was observing what she wears. “You look pretty.”

Daniela beams. “Thanks!” She starts to walk out so that Sophia has some privacy while she dresses, but the girl grasps her arm when they pass. Dani stops just as their shoulders are about to brush.

“Hey, I didn’t get to say it earlier, but,” she smiles across at Daniela, all soft with twinkling eyes and perfect teeth, “I’ve really enjoyed this morning, too. You should stay over more often.”

Daniela finds herself speechless, unable to think about anything else but how pretty Sophia looks, right in this moment. Her hair’s still all messy and unbrushed, her eyes are still a little sleepy, and she hasn’t even washed her face yet. But to Daniela, she looks perfect. God, she missed this view. “Yeah. For sure,” is all Dani can say.

Sophia just continues to smile at her. Then, she comes closer, pulling Daniela into her by the grasp on her arm.

Dani closes her eyes instinctively. They’ve done this a few times for her to know what’s coming next.

Instead, she feels the warmth of Sophia’s mouth end up on her top of her cheek. The Filipina puckers a kiss there, lingering for a few seconds. Then, she leans back again.

Daniela’s eyes flutter open.

Sophia smiles at her. “I love you.”

Daniela’s heart misses a beat. “Yeah. I love you too.”

Sophia’s smile broadens to a grin. “Give me five minutes to get ready. I’ll meet you in the living room.”

--

After Daniela parks her car in their company building’s parking, she straightens out of the driver’s seat and walks around to the passenger side. There, she opens the door and offers her hand to the girl sitting inside.

Sophia grins, eyes sparkling up at her. She lays her hand in Dani’s. “Why thank you, gorgeous.”

Dani grins back at her and pulls her up. “No problem, princess.”

Sophia laughs. When the Filipina stands up out of the car, their hands tangle together naturally.

Yoonchae gets out of the backseat and rolls her eyes.

Daniela catches it. Indignantly, she asks, “And what are you rolling your eyes about, huh, Yoonchip?”

“Nothing,” Yoonchae says strongly, though she rolls her eyes again with a mischievous smile. She takes out her phone and walks ahead of them, fingers tapping away.

“You see that?” Daniela murmurs to Sophia, shoulders knocking. They hold their rehearsal bags on their outer shoulders as they walk a few paces behind Yoonchae, to keep their hands locked between them.

Sophia giggles. “Ignore her.”

They say nothing more on the short walk to their rehearsal studio, relishing each other’s presence.  

Megan is the only one inside when they arrive, stretching slowly with her phone in front of her. She looks over her shoulder when she hears their footsteps. “You’re early, Dani,” she notices.

“I took Soph and Yoonchae today,” Dani tells her, dropping her bag to the floor on the side. “Besides, I’m actually on time.”

Megan grins at her broadly. “Yeah, for you, that’s early.”

Sophia laughs, and Dani can’t help but laugh with her. “Whatever,” she grumbles.

“Wait, but where’s Manon, though?” Megan asks, eyebrows furrowed.

 “Huh?” It takes a while for Dani to understand why the girl’s asked her that. Oh, because they live together. Dani usually always takes Manon. Instantly, she feels her heart drop out of guilt. Her eyes widen, “Oh shit, I completely forgot! Sophia and I were watching a movie in her room and I feel asleep there. I totally forgot about Manon!”

In that very moment, two sets of footsteps sound behind them. Dani looks over her shoulder and is relieved to see that Manon and Lara are walking in together.

“You forgot about me, huh?” Manon taunts, though there’s a mischievous smile on her lips, so she doesn’t seem to be too upset.

“I’m so sorry,” Dani says immediately, then looks to Lara. “Did you take her?”

Lara smiles, completely relaxed. “I did, don’t worry boo.”

Dani brings her eyes back to Manon’s. “I’m sorry Manz, I completely lost track of time.”

“Dude, don’t worry, I’m messing with you,” Manon reassures. Her eyes flick to Dani and Sophia’s hands, still tangled together between them. “Preoccupied, were you?”

Dani ignores the mischief in her tone. Unbiddenly, she thinks back to last night, and the taste of Sophia’s mouth on hers. “Yeah,” she says faintly.

Sophia disentangles their hands, only to bring one up to grasp at Dani’s shoulder and squeeze it reassuringly. Then, she walks towards the middle of the studio and states, “Okay, let’s start stretching.”

Dani starts to slowly follow her, but then Lara appears by her side. She leans into Dani and drops her voice to a whisper, and asks, “D’you know if Sophia’s feeling better? Like, after yesterday?”

Dani suddenly realizes she hasn’t found a time to properly ask Sophia about what upset her. She looks at the Filipina now.

The line of the dark-haired girl’s shoulders is fully relaxed, a broad and easy smile adorning her lips. Her gaze meet Dani’s automatically, and the girl’s eyes sparkle.

“Yeah, I think so,” Dani decides.

Lara nods resolutely. “Good.”

--

Around midday, Dani’s walking towards her bag by the door, keen to pack up quickly and get back to the apartments. Today, they’ve been surprisingly graced with only a half day of rehearsals—lucky them. She plans to spend the rest of the afternoon napping, maximising her rest time.

However, as soon as she bends down by her bag, someone steps through the archway of the studio. She looks over.

It’s Jason, with a large smile on his face, looking only at Daniela.

“Hey,” Daniela says, surprised. She straightens back up and quickly turns on her phone in her hand, eyes flicking through her notifications furtively to see if he had texted her earlier without her realising. There’s nothing.

“Hey,” he greets back, kindly. He takes a step into the studio, towards Dani. “I wanted to surprise you.”

Daniela giggles, though politely. She can feel the rest of the girls standing silently around the studio, just watching their interaction. “Yeah,” she says, kind of stiffly, though she tries to maintain her smile. “Colour me surprised, then.” It’s sweet, that he’s done this, she tells herself. He just doesn’t know that she doesn’t like surprises, not really.

“Awesome,” he says. Then, when he’s right in front of the Latina, he stuffs his hands into his pockets, and continues, “I was wondering if I could take you out to lunch? Reward you for how hard you’ve been working recently.”

Daniela’s eyebrows jump up. Her jaw drops, and she looks around the studio, unnecessarily. Her eyes catch on Sophia’s for a quick moment, over Jason’s shoulder. The girl’s watching them silently, mouth pursed. Daniela remembers she has to reply. She slides her eyes back to Jason’s. “Right now?” She comes up with, somewhat dumbly.

He laughs, completely relaxed despite Daniela’s behaviour. “Yeah, if that’s alright with you.”

“Oh,” Dani says, and looks over his shoulder again to look at the girls. Manon nods her head with comically wide eyes, shooing her away with her hands. “Sure,” Daniela finally affirms.

“Cool,” he says, bobbing his head. He steps back to lead their way out of the studio, but, almost wildly, Daniela shoots a hand out and grabs him by the wrist. He stops short, looking at her.

“Wait,” Daniela drops her hand down. “Let me introduce you first.”

“Oh, yeah. Of course,” he says quickly, and spins around to face the rest of the girls.

Daniela walks next to him to steer them closer to her members. They’re all smiling politely at him, she sees. Although, when her eyes slide automatically to Sophia, she sees the girl isn’t. The Filipina’s eyes are locked on the floor, unmoving. She stands furthest away from the rest of the girls, slightly outside of the half-circle that their members have formed around Dani and Jason.

“These are my friends,” Daniela starts, then lifts her arm to gesture at each of the girls. “Megan, Lara, Manon, Yoonchae.” Her eyes slide to Sophia. The girl’s eyes haven’t lifted from the floor. “And Sophia,” Dani finishes, voice thick. Sophia’s gaze snaps up, locking onto Dani.

There’s something in the girl’s eyes, something sharp and affected there, as she stands and looks back at Daniela. Standing there, looking at each other, Daniela tries to dissect what the girl’s feeling.

Sophia doesn’t give her a chance. She rips her eyes away from Dani and paints a small and tight smile on her lips, looking at Jason. “Hello,” she says politely.

“Nice to meet you all,” Jason says, eyes moving from girl to girl. “I’ve heard so much about you girls.”

Lara gives a small laugh, “Oh, we’ve heard about you too.”

He smiles wider, “Oh really?”

Dani latches onto Jason’s arm again, slightly pulling him back. “Okay, that’s enough of that,” she states loudly. She sends a warning glare to Lara, who just grins back at her, trouble in her eyes. The Latina does not want that conversation to continue, because she knows for sure it wouldn’t go the way Jason assumes.

All that the girls know about Jason is that they’ve been on two dates together, and Daniela isn’t sure if she even really likes him yet. What a way to bruise his ego, if he knew.

Hands still on Jason’s arm, she hears Sophia mutter, “I’m gonna go to the bathroom.” The girl walks past them, looking straight down at the floor.

Dani’s gaze follows her, turning over her shoulder just to see the girl disappear through the corridor.

“Maybe we should get going too?” Jason asks, next to her.

Dani swivels around to face him again, making herself smile. “Sure,” she says. “Let me grab my bag.”

Jason walks with her to the side of the studio, where she bends down to grab her belongings. They say goodbye to the rest of the girls as they walk out to the hallway. But, stepping out of the studio, Daniela hesitates. She looks over her shoulder to the other end of the corridor.

“Actually,” she starts. She faces Jason again, smiling charmingly. “Can you bring my bag to the car? I just need to go to the bathroom quickly.”

Jason nods and takes the outstretched bag automatically, holding it by his side. “Sure. I’ll wait for you by the car then?”

“Thank you.”

Daniela watches him walk off, then turns on her heel towards the bathroom.

Her hands clench and her heart thuds.

Sophia was acting weird. She’s usually so exorbitant, so welcoming, when she first meets new people. Just now, she was anything but that. Daniela wonders what makes this time different from the others. Romantic partners have even been introduced to the group before, and she never showed any of that earlier animosity.

Suddenly, she thinks about another time she saw Sophia like this—just yesterday, when Manon brought up Daniela’s second date with Jason. While Dani was talking to the rest of the girls about it, Sophia had sat there with her head down, not meeting Dani’s gaze. She was quiet while Dani was on the phone to Jason, too.

And yesterday night, they had kissed. Sophia had kissed her so thoroughly that she completely forgot about Sophia’s behaviour during the day, about how the girls had all picked up on it and Yoonchae had come directly to Daniela to ask her to find out what was wrong with her.

She didn’t find out. She was no closer to figuring out what upset Sophia yesterday. In fact, she now also has to figure out what’s upset Sophia today.

And this morning had been utter bliss.

It’s her, her mind supplies immediately, insecurely. Until Sophia tells her differently, she can’t shake the idea that she’s done something to upset Sophia. She wonders if Sophia picked up on Daniela’s behaviour after they kissed last night, on how long it took Daniela to recalibrate herself. She thought Sophia hadn’t noticed, seeing as they were so normal this morning. So embarrassing, she thinks. Of course her best friend would be upset with her acting all weird about being affectionate like they always have been.

She would never be made to feel weird about how she loves her friends, she’d once told herself. Sophia especially. Sophia exclusively. And she should never be the one to make Sophia feel weird, either.

Daniela thinks back to that blank look on Sophia’s face just moments ago, looking down at the studio floor while the rest of the girls talked to Jason. She hated that look on Sophia’s face—if it were up to her, she would never let that look cross her face again. She would figure out what’s upset Sophia, and fix it for her now.

She opens the door to the bathroom.

Sophia stands across the room, washing her hands by the sink with her back turned to Daniela. She doesn’t even look up.

Dani closes the door behind her, but hovers about the entranceway. Sophia’s non-reaction to her presence has immediately set her off-kilter. She sees her own reflection in the mirror above Sophia, just standing there hesitantly. She swallows, then says to Sophia’s back, “Are you okay?”

Sophia keeps her eyes lowered on her hands in the sink. “Why wouldn’t I be?” She responds, almost mechanically.

Daniela wishes she could see her eyes, those beautiful, expressive eyes that help Dani tell so much about how her best friend feels. All that earlier bravado about figuring out what’s upset Sophia suddenly fizzles in the face of Sophia’s unusual guardedness. Dani shrugs, “I don’t know. It’s just—I feel like you’re upset. Like—maybe you’re mad at me. Or something.”

“Why would I be mad at you,” Sophia asks flatly.

Daniela talks to Sophia’s back. “I don’t know. Just—with Jason coming in, you were. Like. Quiet.”

Sophia stops washing her hands, just leaning them on either side of the sink. The line of her shoulders is so sharp, so tense. Unbearably, she still doesn’t look up from the porcelain. “I wasn’t mean to him.”

“No, I know that. I didn’t say that.”

“What are you saying?”

“Nothing, just—”, Dani exhales, feeling her nerves more than she ever has. They’ve never talked to each other this way—she’s never felt this unbalanced around Sophia before. Their conversation is stilted, awkward, uncomfortable, as if they aren’t best friends who spend every day together. She tries to distract herself, hanging on to any thread of normalcy she can. She takes in a deep breath, then walks towards Sophia on light feet.

Sophia remains unmoving.

Dani lifts a shaking hand to the back of Sophia’s hair, then starts to comb her fingers through the silky stands. She tries to let the feeling of it centre her. The Latina smiles tightly, eyes flicking up to the mirror in front of Sophia. The dark-haired girl’s head is lowered towards to sink, only the crown of her head showing in the reflection. She shows no reaction to Daniela’s ministrations.

Something’s really wrong, she realises.

Trying to ignore her ferocious heartbeat, she says, “Come on, Soph. What’s wrong, mami?”

“Don’t,” Sophia says lowly, grasping tightly to the sink.

Dani stops, her hand frozen on the line of Sophia’s shoulder blades. “Don’t what?”

Suddenly, Sophia spins around and grabs her by the hips, spinning them around to push Daniela up against the sink instead.

Given hardly a moment to think, Sophia kisses her.

Dani’s lips are pliant against hers, and the hand she had against Sophia’s back draws up to her shoulders, then dances to the back of Sophia’s nape, cradling her jaw in her thumbs. Sophia presses their hips together roughly, hands shifting upwards to grasp either side of Dani’s waist so tightly that she can feel the indentations of the girl’s nails.

God, she loved this feeling last time Sophia pressed their hips together, and it feels all the more better this time. Rougher, wilder.

Dani tilts her head to slot their mouths together more securely. All of her movements, all of her reactions to Sophia’s movements feel automatic. Innate, even though they’ve only kissed a few times. It’s a testament to how comfortable they are with each other, how much time they spend together. How much they know each other. Their moments together have become a well-acquainted duet, each move reflected and flowing into the next.

But Sophia’s moving faster than she ever has before, and Daniela can hardly keep up.

Before she can really think about it, she slips her tongue between the seam of Sophia’s lips. The Filipina’s tongue is so warm against Dani’s, and when Dani flicks her tongue upwards against the sensitive roof of the girl’s mouth, she relishes in the stuttered breath out of Sophia’s nose. The dark-haired girl’s hands flex on Dani’s waist.

Sophia rips her mouth from Dani’s, and the curly-haired girl watches as Sophia screws her unfocused eyes closed, her chest expanding quickly. They’re so close, the Latina feels their chests press together acutely every time the girl breathes out. Their foreheads lean against one another’s, breaths intermingling.

Dani cradles Sophia’s head tenderly in her grasp, rubbing her thumbs over Sophia’s overheating throat. Sophia’s heartbeat jumps every time her thumb draws across it. “Talk to me, Soph,” the curly-haired girl whispers.

Sophia doesn’t respond for a while, just catching her breath with her eyes closed, forehead against Daniela’s. Her hands are still warm against the Latina’s waist. Then, her breath hot against Dani’s mouth, she asks lowly, “Are you gonna kiss him the way you just kissed me?”

Dani’s jaw drops a little, and she isn’t sure what to say. For a few devastating moments, she flounders in silence. She wants to talk about Jason, now? “I—” she gulps, watching the way Sophia’s eyes wrench open to train solely on her mouth. The girl doesn’t even blink. “I haven’t kissed him yet,” Daniela says.

“Yet?” Sophia responds immediately.

Dani works her mouth around, starting to say words and immediately swallowing them back. Finally, all she comes up with is, “Yeah.”

Slowly, Sophia closes her eyes again, then pulls herself away, as if she has to force herself. Sophia’s arms slide away from her waist and the girl hunches her shoulders in. Dani’s hands drop from the Filipina’s neck.

Daniela feels their separation violently. Their foreheads are no longer pressed together, their breaths no longer intertwining. Their hips aren’t nestled against one another. Sophia’s got her eyes closed, and the Latina can’t tell what she’s feeling.

Sophia takes a few steps back, and with her eyes still closed, she says, “If you kiss him like that, then I think we need to stop. This. I think,” she swallows, and Dani can’t feel her fingers. “I think that’d be—unfair. To him.”

“Unfair?” She hears herself echo.

“Yeah. I mean, he doesn’t even know you kiss one of your best friends in your spare time, does he?” Sophia smiles a broken little thing, opening her eyes to look at the floor. “I, um,” the girl continues with a thick voice, clenching her fists. “I probably wouldn’t like that. If I were him.”

Daniela’s ears start ringing and Sophia isn’t looking at her. “Oh,” she says hollowly. She isn’t sure what to make of this, what Sophia is making of this, because she can’t read the girl’s behaviour. Sophia’s not letting her in.

Sophia nods. “Yeah. I mean, he might think it’s kind of, like—cheating.”

“Cheating?”

Sophia shrugs stiffly. “I don’t know. Maybe.” Her gaze finally lifts to Dani’s. Those dark eyes are glistening, but not in the way Daniela usually notes. She’s going to cry, the Latina realises, heart dropping. Sophia’s eyes search Daniela’s. “Don’t you think so?”

Dani blinks incessantly, then shakes her head to straighten out her thoughts. What’s going on? Why is this happening? She immediately jumps to downplaying. “Me and him—we’re not even exclusive or anything like that. An-and us, we’re—we’re just kissing, we’re—” Dani stops herself abruptly. Looking at Sophia, her hands clench against the sink behind her hips. She swallows, and exhales, “we’re best friends.”

Sophia’s breath hitches, and she just looks at her. There’s a storm behind that dark gaze.

Dani’s eyebrows draw together, utterly confused. She’s finding it so hard to unravel Sophia’s thoughts. She’s immediately ashamed of herself—this is something she usually excels at. She knows Sophia. But nonetheless, there Sophia stands, right in front of her, looking at Daniela with a gaze she suddenly finds unreadable. 

Then, Sophia asks in a voice quiet and haunted, “If I were a guy, would you think differently?”

Dani inhales quickly, her hands tighter around the sink behind her. Her heart beats wildly in her chest. “I don’t—I don’t know. I don’t even know what we’re talking about.” She just stands there, silent for a second. Heart pounding, she starts to say shakily, “I’m not—I’m not g—”

“I know that,” Sophia cuts her off instantly, indignantly, gaze flickering up to catch Daniela’s with a fire in her eyes. “Don’t you think I know that?”

“No—I know—It’s just,” Daniela tries to gulp in air. Maniacally, she feels an uncomfortable laugh in her throat. “This isn’t what I wanted to talk about, I wanted to talk about you—I thought you were upset with me. I thought—why are we even talking about this?”

Sophia just continues to look at her, unmoving. Then, she says softly, “Have you told anyone? That we kiss, sometimes?”

The turns of conversation are giving Daniela true whiplash. She feels like the world is greying out at the edges. She doesn’t know why Sophia is bringing up all these different things. “What, no—what? Why would I—It’s never come up.”

Sophia flicks her eyes to the floor. She lets out a long, shaky breath. Heart breaking, Daniela watches as a single, heavy tear drops from her eye. Then, slowly, Sophia turns towards the door. Back to Daniela, she murmurs gently, “I think you should talk to someone. Manon or—Lara, maybe. I think you need to think about a few things.” Her voice is low and measured, like every small breath brings her closer and closer to truly crying but she doesn’t let herself tip over the edge. It feels terrifying for Daniela. The Latina’s never seen her like this.

Sophia walks towards the exit.

Dani pushes herself from the sink in a panic, following after Sophia. “Soph—just, wait a second. What are you even talking about? Just talk to me,” She grasps the back of Sophia’s shoulder, beseeching. “We always talk to each other.”

But Sophia’s shaking her head, unable to look at her. Voice thick, she says to the ground, “I don’t think I can talk about this with you. Not yet.”

“Soph, what’s going on? Just tell me, and I’ll fix it. I’ll fix it.” Dani’s desperate, panicking; Sophia’s never shut her out like this, never been unable to look at her like this, and she feels like she’s on the edge of some precipice with her hand outstretched to Sophia and the girl just won’t grasp it. For God’s sake, the girl is tearing up, and Daniela hasn’t even figured out why. “Soph,” she doesn’t even know what else to say, so she just says her name, begging. How did they get here? “I love you.”

“Just,” Sophia exhales, hand clenched against the door handle. “Give me some space. Please.” She sounds utterly pained. With that, Sophia turns the handle and pushes against the door.

Dani’s hand falls from her shoulder. Through the narrowing space of the closing door, Dani can see Sophia rush down the hallway.

Chapter Text

Dani just stands there, ears ringing, in the middle of the bathroom. The door had shut closed in front of her a while ago. Hesitantly, she turns her head across to look at her reflection in one of the mirrors.

She looks pale. Her hair sits all dishevelled about her face. She draws her eyes lower.

She’s still wearing Sophia’s clothes—that shirt that she’s admired on the girl before, and a pair of loose jeans she always sees the Filipina wear. It fit Daniela perfectly, and felt like a brand on her skin, tying them together.  

Yet, the girl had left her, running out into the corridor, asking for space in such a broken, defeated voice.

There was no shouting. There were hardly any tears. Sophia was past that point, Daniela could tell. Whatever she’d done, she’d pushed Sophia way past the point of screaming and getting emotional. Now, she was quietly defeated, leaving with the last shred of dignity she had left.

Daniela sucked in a deep breath, feeling like she hadn’t breathed at all in the past few minutes. She’d fucked up.

She walks herself over to the sink and leans her hands heavily against it. Then, she turns the tap on with shaking fingers, and splashes her face with water. With her eyes closed, she gets herself to breathe.

Jason is still outside in the parking lot, naïve to the last few minutes and waiting for her so they can go to lunch. She can hardly stomach the idea.

She’s supposed to go to lunch and talk normally to this guy, while she sits there in Sophia’s clothes,.

Daniela feels sick to her stomach. However, she has no idea what her excuse would be if she were to blow Jason off. He wouldn’t get it.

So instead, she lets herself breathe deeply by the sink, where just a few moments ago she’d been pressed against it, Sophia’s mouth on hers.

She throws herself away from the sink and screws her eyes tighter.

Eyes firmly away from her reflection in the mirror, Daniela walks out of the bathroom, down the corridor, and out into the parking lot. Jason waits by his car, and gives her a smile.

Daniela paints a smile back. She balls a hand on the side of her jeans. Sophia’s jeans.

She hardly remembers the date.

--

Later that day, Daniela stands in front of her and Manon’s apartment door, unmoving, gaze trained on the entry. Slowly, she slides her eyes over, across her shoulder to look out to the end of the corridor, where another, similar door stands.

For the past few days, she’s been waltzing in and out of that door as if it were her own. If she stepped inside now, even with her eyes closed, she could map every piece of furniture and every piece of décor, down to the shape and colour of a teacup nestled in the kitchen drawers. Her feet could take her from the entryway, through the kitchen, and towards the end, where she knows her best friend dwells right now, just beyond her reach.

She won’t move towards that door. She can’t. In this very moment, she no longer has the right to.

Instead, she forces her head back to look at her own apartment door. She makes herself grasp at the handle and walk herself in. She toes her shoes off by the wall and keeps her head down as she passes through the kitchen and living room.

She hardly notices that Manon’s sitting on the couch. “Oh, did you just get back?” She asks, lowering her phone from her face.

Daniela slows her walk, but can’t bring herself to pull her head up from looking at the floor. “Yeah. I think I’m gonna shower,” she murmurs.

“Aren’t you going over to Sophia’s? You’re always over there these days.”

Daniela just stands there, blinking at the ground. She feels her heartbeat thudding in her ears.

She’s been running her conversation—her fight—with Sophia in her head over and over during her date with Jason, noting down every inflection in the girl’s tone and the way she held her body, trying to discern what exactly Sophia was trying to tell her.

Every time Daniela replays their words in her head, she always comes back to a particular sentence Sophia had said, impossibly gentle in her care for Dani, despite her own hurt so painfully obvious.

I think you should talk to someone. Manon or—Lara, maybe. I think you need to think about a few things.

Slowly, Daniela shuffles her feet around to face Manon. She lifts her gaze.

Manon sits up on the couch, looking at her carefully. Her question had been innocent, all things considered, and shouldn’t have warranted this type of reaction. This slow, caged prey-type behaviour.

She knows Dani, just like Dani knows her, how Dani knows the rest of the girls. Knows Sophia.

They know when each other are upset. And right now, it’s clear as day, in the tense line of Daniela’s shoulders, in her furrowed eyebrows, that something is wrong.

Manon sits there patiently, watching as Daniela watches her, trying to figure out what to say.

“Can I talk to you about something?” It comes out of Daniela small, broken, and vulnerable.

Manon’s already nodding softly. “Of course, girl.” She moves to sit more squarely on the couch cushion, then taps a little further on the couch, inviting Dani to sit as well.

Dani moves immediately. Under Manon’s watchful, but patient gaze, the Latina sinks into the other end of the couch, drawing up her legs to fold her arms over her shins. Her eyes trains on the fabric of her jeans. Sophia’s jeans. She screws her eyes closed and takes in a large, purposeful breath.

She’s no good at putting her feelings into words. If she had to label it, she would call herself more of a feeler than a thinker—she leads more with her heart, and more often than not, leaves her head in the dust. It makes her fiercely loyal, an empathetic friend, and a passionate lover. But it also makes her awful at confrontation. It’s never caused her too much pain in the past, though. Her high school flames were more like passing fancies, and once she got to the stage of having serious conversations about feelings, she started losing interest. They never lasted long.

That didn’t fly once she got into Katseye. Sophia, more than anyone, as leader, was big on them having open communication between the six of them. Daniela resisted it at first, unable to put herself out of her comfort zone with verbalising her grievances. But in the end, with subtle nudges and encouraging smiles from Sophia, her loyalty to her girls felt bigger than her own discomfort, and she started to bring up her feelings.

But that doesn’t mean she’s gotten any better at accurately wording her feelings, though. Just that she now knows when she should talk about something. So here she is, about to talk to Manon about Sophia, when Sophia couldn’t bear to talk to her any further.

By this point, Manon’s been sitting patiently but silently next to her for a while, as Dani works through her own thoughts internally.

Manon offers a conversation starter. “How was lunch?”

Dani looks down at her hands hollowly. “It was fine.”

Manon gives a nod, then tries again. “Jason seems nice.”

“I guess so.”

Manon lifts an eyebrow. “You guess so?”

“Did you notice Sophia was upset, earlier?” Daniela says it all rushed, too eager, and she keeps her eyes trained squarely on her hands to avoid seeing Manon’s reaction to it.

Manon doesn’t say anything for a second, just looking at Daniela.

The Latina pretends not to notice. In her mind, she’s running the memory back again, the way Sophia had looked in the studio, when Jason came in. Then, how the girl had walked out afterwards, head down and not meeting anyone’s gaze. Not meeting Daniela’s gaze.

“Before you left?” Manon clarifies.

“Yeah. When I introduced you guys to Jason. She left for the bathroom, pretty quickly. And then Jason and I left the studio.”

“Right,” Manon affirms, nodding again. She says nothing for a second, then continues, “Yeah, I guess she was a little quiet, then.”

Daniela nods softly, then says, even softer, “I thought so too.”

They say nothing for a moment, Daniela looking at her hands and Manon looking at Daniela.

Then, Manon breathes in, hesitantly working her jaw around to find the right words. “If we’re talking about Sophia, I just want to let you know,” she starts. Her eyes flick back down to the couch, hyper-focused on watching her hands smooth over the fabric. “A little after you left, Sophia came back into the studio. She looked—sad.”

Dani’s heart plummets. She drops her eyes down to her own hands too, unable to look at Manon. Yes, Dani tells herself, Sophia was undoubtedly sad this morning. And, based on how their conversation went, the way Dani had made the girl cry, it was undoubtedly Daniela’s fault.

Daniela’s haunted by the image of the lone tear on Sophia’s face, falling all heavy and defeated over the apple of the Filipina’s cheek, slipping down her jaw and dropping straight down onto the tile. Dani imagines that the way the girl’s tear splattered on the floor reflects the way the Latina’s heart broke in that very moment, messy and in a million pieces. Both the Filipina’s tear and the Latina’s heart laid there in that bathroom, as Sophia left first, and then Daniela left to join Jason for lunch.

And here Manon sits, having previously looked to Daniela as Sophia’s closest best friend, like the rest of their girls, trusting Dani to have been able to figure out what initially upset Sophia those few days ago and fixed it.

Instead, Daniela’s made it worse. In fact, she’s gathering more and more evidence that she’s the reason for Sophia’s grievance in the first place, all those days ago. Dani feels like she’s never failed more.

Manon continues, speaking quiet and slow. “She looked like she’d been crying. She was—talking really fast and she wasn’t looking at any of us. She asked Megan to take her and Yoonchae home, and she wanted to go immediately.” Dani lifted her eyes hesitantly to watch Manon furrow her eyebrows, gaze unseeing. The Ghanaian woman shook her head, regathering her thoughts. She met Dani’s eyes, and said, “I don’t know, I’ve never seen her like that. Have you?”

Dani thinks back to the past few days, through all the time she’s spent with the Filipina. “Yeah,” the Latina says, distantly. She clears her throat, trying to push back the defeated tears she feels forming in her throat. “Yeah, actually. I’ve been seeing it a lot. Kind of only recently, though.”

“Really?” Manon says, softly probing.

“I went to the bathroom, actually, before I went to lunch with Jason. I wanted to talk to Sophia. But, um. We had a bit of a fight. It got a little heavy, so—” Dani cuts herself off, looking back down at her hands. Undeservedly, she can feel her lip trembling, her eyes starting to water. Her throat feels thick. What has she done? Keeping her eyes trained on her hands, she confesses to Manon in a quiet, broken voice, “I think I really upset her, Manz.”

“Aw, Dani,” Manon instantly coos, coming closer and laying a hand over Daniela’s, on top of her knees.  

And suddenly, it feels like Manon’s soft reassurance and her own confession has broken down the wall around her emotions, and heavy, hot tears immediately spring from her eyes. She slaps a hand over them roughly and tips her head back, trying in vain to stop the tears from rolling down her cheeks. Her breath comes out in short, deep bursts, moving her chest and shoulders in devastating shudders. Manon hovers in front of her on the couch, trying to figure out the best way to comfort her.

Hand still tight over her eyes, Dani murmurs wetly, “I think I really fucked up.”

“How? What happened?”

“I don’t—” Dani can hardly speak through her sobs, and tries to breathe deeper. On the next exhale, she says, “I haven’t really talked about it.”

“Talked about what?”

“It’s just…” Dani breaks off with a defeated shake of the head.

“You’re not making much sense, Dani,” Manon says gently.

“I know,” Dani says, wrenching her hand from her eyes, only to drag both hands roughly over her cheeks, wiping the tears angrily. “Fuck, I know.”

“It’s okay, though, don’t worry,” Manon reassures, hands light on top of Daniela’s curled up knees. “Just tell me whatever you want to.”

Manon’s steadfast reassurances start to calm Daniela down. The Ghanaian woman is so much more sensitive than others would care to see. With Daniela, she knows exactly how to toe the line between inquisition and support. It comes from their time as roommates, and now housemates. Daniela feels infinitely grateful that Manon’s the one she’s talking to about this.

It makes the Latina breathe easier. She takes a deep inhale in, and a deep inhale out. Then, she confesses, “We’ve been getting… closer, recently. Sophia and I.” She immediately feels like she’s made it weird, like she’s started in a weird place, but she’s said it now and she thinks, actually, this is exactly what she wanted to talk about.

Manon smirks. “Yeah, I’ve noticed, dude. You’re over at her place more than you’re at home.”

Dani looks up at her immediately, eyes wide. She’s already in a vulnerable mood, that any jab no matter how small instantly makes her feel insecure. Her hands clench around her shins. “Are you mad at me about that?”

Manon scoffs, a wry smile stretching on her lips. She shakes her head. “Dude, no. Don’t worry about me, I don’t give a shit. I’m just messing with you.”

Dani looks at her for a while, gaze jumping between Manon’s eyes, “…Are you sure?”

The Ghanaian woman rolls her eyes. “Yes. Tell me what’s been going on.”

Dani swallows. Her gaze slips over Manon’s shoulder, training on the wall there. She breathes, just a little bit. Slowly, she says, “We’ve. Kissed.”

Manon’s eyebrows jump up her forehead. She remains perfectly still. She screws her mouth closed. Voice purposefully mild, she responds, “Really?”

Dani nods her head delicately. “A few times.”

“A few times?” Manon spews out, leaning forward. In comparison to just seconds ago, it’s like all the energy in her body rushes forward, bursting at the seams. “As in, more than once?”

Dani clenches her fists. Without meaning to, every single one of their kisses play in her mind. Their first kiss, soft and curious in Sophia’s bedroom. Their second, in the bathroom after helping Sophia with that dance move. Their third, Sophia lying over her in bed. It brings a harsh blush rising on Dani’s neck, reddening her cheeks. Then, their last, deep and heavy against the bathroom sink while Jason waited for her by the car. She wonders if she’ll ever get to kiss Sophia again. She wonders if she even wants to, if it upsets Sophia this way. If Daniela upsets Sophia this way.

Weakly, she responds to Manon with an, “Mm.”

Manon leans back, inhaling strongly. “Okay, wait a second. Let me just—collect my thoughts.”

Dani slides her gaze back from the wall behind Manon, hesitantly. “You’re—collecting your thoughts?”

Manon closes her eyes. “I just need to process for a second.”

Dani watches her, the way the Ghanaian woman grasps tightly at the back of the couch, eyelids closed but eyes moving ferociously underneath them. Daniela wrings her hands together, pressing herself further into the opposite side of the couch.

Then, Manon relaxes herself into the couch, opening her eyes to look back at Dani. “Okay, so. You’re kissing. You and Sophia.”

Dani nods.

“So—what? You two like each other?”

Dani jumps on it immediately. “It’s not really about that, it’s—I mean, we love each other. We’re both affectionate people, you know that.”

Manon looks at her carefully. She enunciates slowly, “You kiss each other—as an expression of affection?”

Dani nods again. “Yes. She’s my best friend.”

Manon squints, “So, what—it doesn’t mean anything?”

Dani immediately throws her hands up, saying, “You’re not getting it, it didn’t mean nothing, but—”, she flounders for a bit, the same way she did when she was talking about this with Sophia. Once again, it seems like words are never perfect enough to fully encapsulate the way she feels when she kisses Sophia. Dani continues, a fire lit inside her, “Don’t you ever feel like someone’s your person? Like—things feel so differently when you’re around that person, and they just get you in a way you’ve never been understood before, and you understand them in a way you’ve never understood others before?”

Manon’s eyes soften. “Sure, Dani. I have all of you girls.”

Dani fizzles out, the line of her shoulders drooping. “Yes, that’s true, but—” She clenches her fingers. “With her, it’s like everything is increased, like, two-hundred percent.”

Manon watches her patiently, then says, “So, even in saying all that, it’s all still—what, platonic?”

Dani groans, pressing the heels of her palms over her eyes. She mumbles angrily, “That’s such a stupid word. I just explained it to you.”

Manon pushes on, “I know you might think it’s stupid, Dani, but those little words might help you categorise how you feel about Sophia, in a more simpler way. Otherwise, it might get all—jumbled up and confusing.”

Dani drops her hands from her eyes in a tumble, but keeps her eyes closed. She just breathes there for a moment.

Manon’s right—the state she’s currently in undoubtedly leaves her feeling confused. She finds that she’s perfectly comfortable and eloquent in talking about how much she knows Sophia, and what her best friend is like, but once she starts trying to string together thoughts about her feelings towards Sophia, she inevitably hits a wall somewhere down the road. And over the past few days, she’s barely even gotten a few hours to herself to even dare to untangle that string of thoughts.

Dani opens her eyes, though keeps her gaze trained on the knees. She draws her thumb over the fabric of the jeans. “Do you think that would help? To—label it, somehow?”

“It might,” Manon says, softly.

Daniela nods to the herself, then says, “Do you think Sophia would appreciate it?”

Manon smiles softly. “Maybe, but—I think you would appreciate it more. It’s nice to be able to figure out your feelings in simple words.”

The Latina sucks her lips into her mouth, processing Manon’s words. “I don’t think my feelings with that—”, with her, “Are very simple, though.”

Manon pats her hands, then says, “Maybe just give yourself some time to think about it a bit more, then. We can talk about it again, later, if you want. When you’ve thought about it more.” Manon starts to get up.

As Manon starts to walk out of the living room, words rush out of Dani, unwillingly, “Do you think it isn’t platonic?”

Manon stops, turns around and smiles crookedly at Dani, gaze all endeared. She says, “I think, in the end, it doesn’t matter what the fuck anyone else thinks about you and Sophia. It’s between you two.”

It soothes Dani a little.

But then, out in the corridor on the way to her bedroom, Manon calls out, “But if you were asking me if I’d kiss one of you like that? No, fuck no. Even though I love y’all.”

--

After her chat with Manon, Dani gets straight up to her bedroom. There, she sits on her bed as she watches the sun bleed the sky from blue, to orange, to black. Somewhere along the way, emotional exhaustion hits the back of her eyelids, and she falls into deep sleep as soon as she lays down. She misses dinner.

Despite falling asleep so early, the Latina wakes up the next morning disoriented and feeling as if she didn’t rest at all. The sheets are all tangled around her legs, showing that she’d tossed and turned all night. It’s not off to a good start.

Dani lays there for a little while, mentally going through today’s schedule.

It’s another full rehearsal day. Immediately, she thinks about her car, still parked in their company’s parking lot. When Jason had come to surprise her with lunch plans, they’d taken his car and then he’d driven her home.

Manon said Sophia had asked Megan to take her and Yoonchae home after their fight in the bathroom. That was supposed to be Daniela’s job.

Daniela had promised that she would always drive Sophia, whenever and wherever the girl wanted. Daniela had already failed.

Her red sportscar still sat in the company parking lot, incriminating evidence of Daniela’s let-down.

If she wanted to get to rehearsal today, she would have to ask one of the other girls for a ride. Megan and Lara were the only other two with licenses. One of them would have to take Sophia. Dani knew she couldn’t take the same car. Sophia wanted space—even if it broke Daniela’s heart, she would respect that.

The Latina opened her phone to her messages, and sent a text off to Megan.

Dani: Hey. Can you please take Manon, Yoonchae and Sophia to rehearsal today?

A few seconds of staring at her delivered text, she gets a reply.

Megan: Okay.

It’s a dry response, especially coming from Megan. But it’s not unexpected. According to Manon, Megan had taken Sophia home. Sweet Megan was always quick to pick up when something was wrong—it would have been obvious that Sophia was upset. She might’ve even suspected Daniela had something to do with it, seeing as Daniela was the one who should’ve taken Sophia home.

Dani: Thanks, Megs.

Daniela knows Megan won’t respond to her, so she immediately opens up her messages with Lara.

Dani: Can you take me to rehearsal today?

Lara takes a little longer to reply. Dani lays there, staring at her lone message for a few minutes, before she huffs and gets up. She goes about dressing and washing her face, then starts to head into the kitchen to eat. It’s only then, ten minutes later while she’s finishing a bowl of cereal, that Lara answers her.

Lara: Sure, if you want.

Daniela breathes out low. Okay, that’s a bit of a passive-aggressive reply. In that moment, she reminds herself that Lara was one of Sophia’s closest friends, back at the start. Back in Dream Academy, Lara and Sophia had just clicked, in a way that Dani hadn’t yet.

If something was wrong with Sophia, and Lara suspected it was Daniela’s fault, then she was going to protect Sophia, first and foremost.

That meant that Sophia had probably also talked to Lara, even just a little bit.

Daniela’s neck started to burn. Sophia might’ve even told Lara that they’ve kissed. A few times. She wonders what Lara thinks about it. She knows, without the context, without knowing the sheer amount of love she feels for Sophia but the inability to string it into words, she might get a bit of a side-eye. Manon had already given her a bit of a side-eye.

She never questioned a deeper meaning to any of those kisses, in the moments they were happening. At first, it was curiosity, and a trust between two friends. Then, it was a way to show each other they loved each other beyond words. And now… Now Sophia said they needed to stop. Somewhere along the way, Daniela had done something that had made Sophia feel like she needed to wave a white flag and pull away. Daniela wonders how she missed the cues. Daniela wonders if Sophia’s hurt was something she had been nursing for a while, quietly and under Daniela’s nose, and if it had suddenly burst beyond her tight-gripped control in that bathroom. Daniela wonders if there was a specific thing she had said or did, that had set it all off.

Ashamedly, she realises that she is having major difficulty understanding Sophia’s perspective all on her own. She’s meant to be Sophia’s best friend. If she’s not the one who can understand it all, maybe talking to Lara about it might give her a bit more insight.

Lara: I’m in the car.

Daniela puts her bowl in the dishwasher and grabs her rehearsal bag. When she’s by the front door, she recognises that Manon’s keys are already gone—Manon must’ve left to meet Megan at her car before Daniela had even come out of her room.

Daniela takes the elevator down to their building’s garage and easily finds the spot where Lara always parks. Sure enough, Lara’s already sitting in the driver’s seat, phone in hand.

Lara looks up when Daniela comes near. She hardly offers a smile when their gazes meet.

When Daniela opens the passenger side door and sits, the car is silent. She drops her bag at her feet.

Daniela swallows. “Hey,” she says gently.

Lara doesn’t respond for a little while, hand tapping on the bottom of the wheel. Finally, she gives a defeated little sigh, and says, “Hey.”

“Thanks for taking me today.”

Lara gives a tight little half-smile, and starts pulling out of the parking space. As she drives slowly out of the garage, she says, “Yeah, I hardly ever drive you.”

“I had to leave my car at the studio yesterday.”

“Right.”

A momentary silence lapses. Daniela elaborates, “Jason took us to lunch, and then he drove me home afterwards. So… my car is still at the studio.”

“I got that.”

“Yeah.” Daniela just sits there, unsure how to continue the conversation now that it’s more than obvious that Lara is feeling animosity towards her. She inhales, then angles her body a little so that her shoulder presses into the seat and she’s looking at Lara. “Listen, are you mad at me about something?”

“Me?” Lara says pointedly, looking forward while she drives.

“Yes.”

Lara just lifts an eyebrow, hands flexing on the steering wheel.

Daniela looks down at her hands in her lap. Dani murmurs, “Have you talked to Sophia recently?”

“Have you?”

“Lara, please,” Daniela says, defeatedly.

Lara sighs, all the tension in her hands and her shoulders deflating. “If you wanna talk about this, I need some coffee.” She flicks on her turning signal to start driving them to the drive-in coffee joint they’re all familiar with.

It’s close enough, and Dani sits there in the passenger seat with her head tucked down to her chest. By now, it’s obvious that Sophia’s talked to Lara about what’s going on, and it’s obvious that whatever she’s said makes her annoyed at Daniela. The Latina stews in her uncertainness, letting Lara drive through the joint and order them both their go-to coffee orders.

Once they receive their coffees, Lara passes Dani her coffee and drives out of the drive-through. “Thanks,” Dani says, quietly.

Lara says nothing, though she pulls into an open parking space in the front of the joint instead of re-joining the traffic on the way to rehearsal. Once parked, she glances over to Daniela in the passenger seat, softer now. “Look, Sophia’s one of my best friends. That’s my homegirl. And you are too. But she’s talked to me about a few things recently, and,” Lara sucks in air between her teeth, “Babe, she’s been going through it.”

Daniela keeps her head hung. “I know. I know she’s upset. And I’ve tried to figure it out, I tried to bring it up with her but she was bringing up all these different conversations, and it was just becoming this huge, big thing—”

Lara cuts her off, “That’s because it is a big thing to her.”

Dani hesitates.

Lara continues on, eyes harsh, the earlier tension returning. “You might not think it’s a big thing, but for Sophia—” Lara throws a hand up off the wheel, then says, “it means something to her.”

Dani scoffs, “Why does everyone keep saying that? You’re all saying that as if it doesn’t mean anything to me—it does!”

“Are you sure?”

“Yes!”

“Sophia doesn’t seem to think so.”

Daniela just sits there, breathing heavily, eyes down. So, Sophia has told Lara what she’s feeling. But she hasn’t told Daniela. Distantly, she feels shame and jealousy both rise in her throat, intertwined and warring.

Lara breathes too, trying to calm herself down. “Okay,” she says. “Sophia told me you guys have been kissing.”

Daniela looks at her hesitantly, then nods. “Yes.”

“And… You’ve been spending a lot of time together.”

“We have.”

“And… You’ve been going on these dates, with Jason.”

Dani nods again, slower, looking out the windshield. This is where she always starts to feel uneasy—when she’s talking on the subject of Sophia and suddenly Jason gets brought it into the conversation. It happened when she was talking to Sophia too. “Yes.”

Lara just watches her out the corner of her eyes, then says slower. “So you’re going on dates with some dude, but you’re still kissing Sophia?”

Dani whips her head around to look at Lara, eyebrows furrowed. “You make me sound awful when you say it like that, Lara—”

“Hey, I’m just saying it the way I see it—”

“Well, you must see me as a fucking dick then—”

“You said it first—”

“Lara!” Daniela cries, thoroughly upset.

“Fine!” Lara says sharply, then forcefully relaxes her shoulders. “Look, I know I’m being hard on you, but the way I’ve had to put the pieces together from what I’ve heard from Sophia and from what I’ve seen—I don’t know, it just doesn’t look like you’ve been thinking it through much from her perspective.”

“I’m trying, I’ve really been trying, but,” Daniela cuts herself off, taking out a big exhale. “I’m just so confused!”

Lara’s brows lower. “What are you confused about?”

“Everything!” Daniela explodes hotly, then drops her head into her hands. There, she lets the firm press of the heels of her hands ward away the hotness growing behind her eyes. “I know I upset her, I know that,” she says into her hands. “But," she takes a few steadying breaths. Despite her efforts, she feels a few hot, frustrated tears slip into her hands and down her wrists. “I didn’t mean to,” she whispers, ashamed.

Lara watches her fall apart with a forlorn gaze. “I know you didn’t mean to, Dani. She knows you didn’t mean to. But that doesn’t mean it didn’t still hurt.”

Dani sits there, head in her hands. She’s frustrated with herself, yet again having fallen to tears in a conversation that was meant to be about finding out what’s upset Sophia. She feels self-centredly like she’s made the topic more about her, when it should have been about Sophia. Twice. 

She knows Lara won’t touch her, now. Lara knows that any physical comfort in this moment would make her spiral more, further into her self-deprecating thoughts. This is her fault, and she knows it, Lara knows it, and she has to fix it, instead of sitting there crying. The Indian girl waits, a steady presence while Dani breathes through it.

When Dani finally lifts her head, ashamedly wiping away at her cheeks, Lara asks gently, “What can I do to help?”

“Huh?” Dani says, still wiping her face, though she looks at Lara now.

“You said you were confused,” Lara reminds her. She shrugs her shoulders delicately. “Can I help you try and figure out your thoughts?”

Dani just continues to look at her, mouth open. Lara’s so nice. Just like Dani, this girl is fiercely loyal and protective of her friends, and right now, Daniela reminds herself that she is also one of Lara’s closest friends. Despite being hard on her, Lara also loves her. “Yeah,” She replies quietly. Then, louder, she says, “That would be really nice, thank you.”

“Okay,” Lara bobs her head.

They lapse into silence, as they figure out how to start the conversation.

Lara turns her body in her seat to face Daniela better. “Can I ask you about some things, to see what your thoughts are? I’ll listen, I promise.”

Dani smiles faintly. She feels exhausted from having already cried, but she thinks this conversation is needed. “Yeah.”

Lara nods, then says, deliberately gentle, “What does it mean to you, when you kiss her?”

Daniela blinks. This is more of a prying first question that she thought Lara would ask, but she tries to keep herself centred. She swallows. “It’s hard to explain, I can’t really put it into words—”

“Just try. For her. It doesn’t have to make total sense just yet.”

“Fine,” Dani says faintly, though she agrees with the girl. Dani lifts her head forward to look out the front windshield, eyes moving rapidly around though gaze unseeing. She tries to focus on stringing her thoughts together, and starts to speak slowly, “Sophia is my best friend—”

“Jesus fucking Christ, Dani,” Lara says lowly, throwing her head back onto the driver’s side window.

Dani looks over to Lara sharply, shoulders already tensed up to her ears. “What? You told me to try and put it into words!”

“Yeah, you’re off to a real good fuckin’ start—”

“Why’re you being so aggressive—”

“Because we’re your best friends too!” Lara explodes.

Dani just looks at her.

“Right? We’re your best friends, too,” Lara repeats, softer and more intentional, this time.

“You are,” Dani affirms, voice quiet.

“Okay. But you don’t go around kissing us, as well, do you?”

Dani clenches her hands around her seat. “No.”

“No, you don’t,” Lara agrees. “So, what’s different about Sophia?”

“What’s different about her?” Dani echoes.

“Yeah. Like, there must be something about her that, like, makes you feel differently to how you feel with the rest of us, right?”

First, Dani is silent. Then, she gives a hesitant, slow nod.

“Right,” Lara encourages. “What does it feel like?”
 

“I just feel, like…” Dani starts slowly. The gives a big exhale, then says quietly, “Like, I really, really, love her, you know?”

This time, Lara says nothing, just listening to her speak.

“I don’t think I really know how to… to put it into words, really. But—” Dani licks her lips and inhales through her nose. “It’s just like… whatever I do feel like, with her, it just makes her seem… we could be in a room with ten thousand other people. And she’d be the only one I’d look at.”

She sees Lara looking at her from the driver’s seat, but Daniela keeps her eyes forward, brows knitted with the effort to verbalise her thoughts.

Lara opens her mouth to speak, but Dani continues on, trying to say it all before she loses her bravado. “It’s like she looks different, compared to everyone else around her. Or—I see her differently, does that make sense?”

“Sort of,” Lara says, faintly.

“And when I’m around her, it’s like—I can’t not be near her. Like, it feels weird if we’re in the same room and I’m not, like… next to her, or something.”

Lara doesn’t say anything, watching how Dani continues to search out the windshield, as if it holds all the answers to her confusion if she just keeps looking.

“And,” Dani takes a big breath, her hands tingling. “I’ve always just thought that it’s because we’re best friends, that we just clicked more than I have with anyone else, and I love her, but… I also love you, and Megan and Manon and Yoonchae, and it…” Dani stops for a second, letting herself feel the harsh beat of her heart before she confesses, “You’re right. It doesn’t feel the same. The way I love Sophia isn’t the way I love you girls. Not at all. But…”

Lara lets her sit on it for a little while, then prompts, “But?”

“I can understand that the way I feel about Sophia is different than the rest of you, but…” Dani drops her voice to a soft whisper, thin and confused. “She’s a girl.”

Lara breathes out a little. She tries to keep her voice purposefully light, “And what about it?”

Dani blinks incessantly. The pounding of her heart is starting to become a little too much, and she tries to straighten up in her seat, pushing her hair out of her face. The words spew out of her without any real thought, “I mean—I think we’re taking this a little too far. It’s not—I’m not, like—talking about Sophia like that, like you would. It’s just that, like…” Belatedly, she realises she’s actually not sure what she means as she says her words, but she’s already talked before her brain had even computed her thoughts.

In her ramble, she can see that Lara’s eyebrows have lowered, her jaw set.

Lara’s silence makes her feel a little uneasy. In her discomfort, Daniela decides the best way to overcome it is to continue talking, even if she’s not so sure what she’s saying. “I love her, yeah, and I love her differently than I love you girls, but… You’re making it sound like it’s like that, and it’s not like that.”

Daniela flicks her eyes up to Lara’s face. Lara continues to be silent, jaw set hard, not looking back at Dani, but down at her coffee in her hands. The condensation from the ice spills out onto her fingers.   

The Latina drops her eyes to her own hands, wringing them together. She swallows, and asks softly, “Did I say something wrong?”

Words rush out of Lara, “I don’t know, it just kind of sounds like you’re, like, intrinsically against the idea of liking girls romantically—”

“Lara, no,” Dani immediately cuts in, eyes wide on Lara, but the girl doesn’t meet her gaze. “You know I’m not homophobic.”

“No, I know that,” Lara says, but there’s still a guarded tone in her voice and she continues to look down.

Dani’s heart sinks. She hates that she’s upset Lara, that somewhere in this journey of figuring out her thoughts, Lara’s felt like Dani is against the idea of a girl liking another girl, something that Lara identifies with. And if Lara thinks Dani’s against that, does that make Dani against Lara?

Daniela presses a hand to Lara’s forearm and repeats herself, stronger, “I’m not, Lara. You gotta know that—” she takes a breath, dropping her gaze to train on her hand instead of Lara’s guarded face. She continues, “It’s just that, me, the idea of me liking a girl, it’s just—it’s not something I’ve ever thought about before.”

Lara just sits there tensely, but she lets Dani keep her hand on her.

The Latina’s heart pumps violently in her ears. Dani speaks slowly, “I’ve always danced with boys, since I could walk. The concept of a partner was always a boy, and so I’ve always dated boys, and my parents just always ask about boys, so—” she loses her words for a second, mouth opening but no idea what to say.

Her eyes move rapidly, from her hand, to the windshield, to the seat, to the door. When she slips her hand from Lara’s arm, the Indian girl slowly lifts her head to look at her.

When Daniela speaks again, it’s so quiet it’s only just heard over the top of the engine. “If I were to… like Sophia… like that… what does that mean for me?”

Lara keeps looking at her. Voice matching the Latina’s, Lara asks, “What do you mean?”

“I’ve always liked boys,” Dani repeats. “But… I’ve never felt anything close to how I feel when I’m with Sophia. So… does that mean I’ve never liked boys? Or that, Sophia’s just…” Daniela’s words fizzle out, once again struck by the inability to put the sheer amount of feelings she has for Sophia in words.

“Are you asking about labels?”

Dani nods slowly. “Manon said it might help to… categorize… how I feel.”

“Okay.” Lara nods. “Does it scare you, though?”

“Scare me?”

Lara hums. She clarifies, “To think that you’re anything other than straight?”

Dani lets the words sink in. Not straight. She swallows. “Maybe.”

“Okay.” Lara lets her sit with it a little bit. Then, she offers, “Maybe it’s a little too much to think about labels, right now. You don’t have to go out and scream to the world that you like girls,” Lara says, letting a little lightness into her tone.

Dani scoffs out a laugh, but the idea of it makes her heart drop in her chest, terrified.

“Let’s just focus on one girl,” Lara says gently.

Dani breathes, looking down at her shaking hands. Sophia’s face comes to mind, with doe brown eyes and a wide grin, smiling just for her while the rest of the world fuzzes out. “Yeah, I like that,” Dani whispers.

“Good.”

--

Lara pulls into their company’s parking lot. Inevitably, due to their elongated discussion at the coffee joint, they’re already late. Dani can see Megan’s car parked further in the lot.

The Indian girl turns off the engine, and looks over to Daniela. “Are you okay?”

Daniela nods slowly. “Yeah. Just—lots to think about.”

Lara nods lightly. After a beat, she asks, “Are you going to talk to Sophia today?”

Daniela sucks her lips in. “I don’t know.”

“Okay,” Lara replies gently. “Maybe just… See how it goes.”

Daniela nods.

Lara opens her car door, and Daniela does the same. Once standing outside, she hauls her rehearsal bag over her shoulder and looks around. She spots her red sportscar, parked just where she’d driven it in yesterday with Sophia and Yoonchae.

Yesterday, she walked in with Sophia at her side, hands intertwined, the light of the sun sparkling in the girl’s eyes. Now, Dani looks down at her feet on the walk inside the studio, following Lara.

When she steps into the studio, her gaze lifts to look for Sophia, as if on its own volition. To Daniela, it feels like a tether, from her to the Filipina, keeping her aware of the girl as soon as they step into the same room.

Sophia’s stretching with Yoonchae and Megan, locked in soft conversation with the girls. She moves methodically through stretching each of her muscles, though listening intently to the two girls next to her. She’s smiling. Laughing. Daniela’s throat constricts.

The girl makes no reaction to Daniela and Lara entering the room. Dani just stands there, in the entrance, gaze still locked on Sophia in front of the mirrors.

Leaving Daniela’s side, Lara puts her bag down and walks over easily to the group. She drops down and hooks an arm around Megan, slotting herself into the conversation seamlessly.  

Daniela’s hand clenches on her rehearsal bag. She desperately wishes that she could do the same. She can see it so clearly; she could drop her bag without a care in the world, walk over there, and sit next to Sophia. The girl would’ve already watched her come over, and she’d be grinning so broadly at Daniela. She’d wrap an arm around Sophia’s hips, scoot closer and greet her hello with a warm hug.

The Latina wishes she could do that. Wishes desperately that she could bask in the girl’s affection. Even just a mere few days ago, that daydream was a reality. Now, it’s a distant memory.

Give me some space, Sophia had said. Daniela has hurt Sophia in a way that the girl can no longer stand to be near her. A few days, they couldn’t stand to be apart.

Above all, Dani will do whatever it takes to make sure that Sophia is happy. And if Sophia isn’t happy with Daniela near… Daniela will make sure to respect that, despite the way it makes her heart shatter and a hotness build behind her eyes.

Daniela drops her eyes to the floor and keeps them there, watching her feet move her to the side of the studio. There, she drops her bag and starts going through the motions of stretching on her own. 

Manon walks into the studio, back from the bathroom, and catches Daniela standing off by herself. “Hey, girl,” She greets.

Daniela smiles back to her, then drops her gaze to continue stretching, acting preoccupied.

She sees Manon’s feet in her periphery walking towards the rest of the group. Daniela sighs.

“Right, should we get started?” She hears Sophia say, voice assured.

Daniela keeps her eyes on the floor.

“Do you want to come join us, Daniela?” Sophia says, voice cold and dismissive.

Dani’s head whips up, though her heart sinks. She hasn’t heard the girl talk to her since yesterday. She nods faintly and walks towards the group slowly.

Quietly, she sighs to herself. How she yearns for the way Sophia calls her Dani. She's almost forgotten the way it sounds coming out of Sophia’s mouth, the way the vowels wrap around her lips. She wishes she could just fix everything for one more time of Sophia calling her Dani.  

Their choreographer comes in to lead them through rehearsal, and Dani tries to get herself to focus.

Inevitably though, like a red string coiled tight around her pinky finger, her gaze keeps returning to Sophia. The girl never looks back.

Chapter Text

Rehearsal leaves Daniela more worn out than usual. It’s the same choreographies they’ve been learning for a while, but the emotional constraints of looking over to Sophia and never seeing her looking back leaves her feeling stripped bare. Her arms shake with the longing to reach out to girl. She keeps her hands in fists for most of the rehearsal to stop herself.

Dani’s quiet as she goes over to her rehearsal bag to pack up all of her things. She hears the rest of the girls talking amongst themselves. She doesn’t join in.

When she straightens up with her bag on her shoulder, the girls are filing out as a group into the corridor. Sophia brings up the end of the group of girls.

Daniela walks behind them, a few paces back. She makes sure to keep that space between them, her eyes trained on Sophia’s white shoes.

The sound of Sophia’s voice lodges deep within Daniela’s ears, carving out space there and lingering long after she’s said her bit in the girls’ conversation. The lilt of the Filipina’s voice is soft and delicate, and Dani twists her mouth when she hears the girl let out a gentle laugh in response to Megan’s words.

Dani wants to make her laugh. Dani wants to be the one who says something smart, and Sophia looks at her, grips at her elbow and laughs. She wants to do that.

Jealousy, Daniela realises, with a start. Her stride stutters a little. In this moment, trying to respect Sophia’s request for space, and hearing her laughing at someone else's jokes instead, she’s jealous.

She doesn’t just want Sophia near her again, she wants Sophia. She wants Sophia in a way no one else has Sophia.

This epiphany brings a harsh blush rising immediately on her neck and ears. The idea of it is so possessive, so selfish. But, as she lets it sit with her a little longer, admits to herself that, yeah, that is kind of what she means.

She’s always framed Sophia as her best friend—her best, best friend, in fact. She believes the girl knows her in a way no one else does, and she feels she knows Sophia in a way no one else does. And she loves her—she loves her and wants to make her happy in a way that she doesn’t feel with the rest of the girls. In a way that she doesn’t want Sophia to feel with the rest of the girls, either.

It's an epiphany that she’s been leading up to this entire time, and she feels like it fills every molecule in her body with a sense of rightness and finality. Her conversations with both Manon and Lara finally draw a conclusion. In this moment of cognizance, she realises she can’t let this feeling go. Can’t let anything else get in the way of melting into this feeling. With Sophia.  

The string coiled between her and the Filipina tightens around her until she can’t breathe, and she stops, stock-still, barely breathing, in the middle of the corridor. The girls walk further and further away from her. She keeps her eyes trained on the back of Sophia’s silky black hair. She almost dares to call out.  

She doesn’t. She can’t. While she desperately wants to stretch out her arm and talk to Sophia, there are things she has to set right first.  

The rest of the girls spill out into the parking lots for their rides back home.

When she steps out onto the pavement, she just about catches Sophia’s back disappearing into Lara’s car. She stands by her own car, and watches Lara drive off with Sophia in the passenger seat, senses tingling.

Dani lets out a heavy exhale, forcefully releasing the tension in her body to lean back against her red sportscar.

Looking out into the horizon as Lara’s car gets smaller and smaller, she pulls out her phone.

She presses the small call button by Jason’s contact.

It rings twice by her ear before the man picks up.

“Jason. Hey,” she greets politely.

“Daniela! I wasn’t expecting to hear from you so soon,” Jason replies, voice kind.

“Yeah, um,” she swallows, looking down at her feet. “Listen, I just wanted to talk to you about something.”

“Oooh, that sounds kinda worrying,” Jason tries to joke.

Dani doesn’t rise to it. “I just—I think I need to be honest about a few things with you.”

Jason catches her tone, and doesn’t speak for a moment. Then, he says, “Okay.”

Daniela tries to pick her words carefully. With the hand not holding her phone, she fidgets with her pants. “You’ve been really nice on our dates, and the dates have been really—nice.”

Jason waits a beat, but then realises Dani isn’t saying anything more. “But?” He prompts.

Daniela’s shoulders drop. This is harder than she thought it would be. She isn’t lying—Jason has been nice, and the dates have turned out nice. But… Sophia’s face comes to mind, her lilting giggles still in her ears. “I think my heart’s not in this,” She confesses gently. “I think I’m—emotionally… not here.”

The words linger over the phone.

“I didn’t want to lead you on any further. I needed to be honest with myself—and you.”

“Thank you for being honest,” She hears Jason say, slowly.

She still feels discomfort tight in her throat. “You deserve someone who’s all in, and that’s not me. I’m—I think I’m,” she exhales, looking out onto the horizon again. “I’m elsewhere.”

Jason doesn’t respond to that for a while.

Dani continues to breathe with her phone poised by her ear, looking out into the direction of their apartments, where her best friend heads.

Then, Jason says, light and careful, “I hope you find what you’re looking for.” He hangs up without waiting for Dani’s response.

Daniela deletes Jason’s contact, then drops her hand slowly to her side and slips her phone back into her pocket.

She takes a deep breath, opens her car door, and starts the engine.

--

Daniela doesn’t listen to any music on the drive home. She lets herself sit in silence, but her mind, for once, is blissfully clear. There’s only one thing that plays internally, over and over again.

The Latina drives her car into their apartment’s garage and parks it next to both Megan and Lara’s cars.

The walk to the elevator, and the elevator ride itself, remain silent.

When the doors open to the girls’ level, her heart starts to thud. She walks purposefully through the corridor, her strides matching the deep bass in her chest. Her and Manon’s apartment comes up on the left. She bypasses it completely.

There, at the end of the corridor, Daniela knocks on the last door. Knocks twice. And waits.

The corridor is deathly silent, save for the violent thump of her heartbeat. It sets her fingers all tingly. When she exhales, it comes out shaking.

She can hardly hear any commotion on the other side of Sophia and Yoonchae’s entry. No one has come to open the door. She poises her hand to knock again, but the door finally opens.

It’s Yoonchae. Her hand clutches at the archway, mouth set hard.

Dani swallows and stays her ground. “Hey, Yoonchip,” she says gently.

Yoonchae just blinks at her. She turns to look behind her. Briefly, all Daniela sees is the back of Yoonchae’s head. Then, when the younger girl looks back at Dani, her eyebrows are furrowed, eyes deep with distress.

Instead of stepping back to let her in, she steps forward. Daniela stumbles backward to make space for her.

Out in the corridor, Yoonchae shuts the door behind them with a resounding click. She keeps her eyes on Dani, “Did you find out what’s wrong with Sophia?”

Daniela looks down to the ground.

Yoonchae continues to look at her, her gaze swimming and her fists all clenched by her side, heart breaking for Sophia. When she speaks again, her voice wavers like a child’s, “I thought you spoke to her a few days ago.”

Dani’s heart sinks. Yoonchae might prefer to put on a tough act, quick to put up her walls and pretend to be annoyed, but at the heart of it, she’s soft for all of them. She idolises every single one of them and models herself from their behaviour, and to see any of them feel less than the strong women she knows they are, makes her feel like the world grows sideways. Daniela knows this.

Moreover, Yoonchae has stuck by Sophia’s side like glue from the very start. Sophia’s the one she looks up to the most, the one she treats like her big sister. No doubt seeing her upset makes the younger girl upset as well.

“I know, Yoonchae,” Daniela tries to soothe her.

“She’s been quiet all day, she’s not herself,” Yoonchae pushes.

“I know, Yoonchae,” Dani says again, gently. The Latina steps a little closer and lowers her voice. “I’m gonna talk to her. I’m gonna try and fix it.”

“Fix it?”

Daniela nods, presses a hand to Yoonchae’s shoulder. “I promise.”

Yoonchae keeps her eyes on Dani. “So you do know what’s wrong.”

Dani hesitates. Yes, of course she knew what’s wrong—it’s her fault. But, importantly, apparently Yoonchae doesn’t know what’s wrong. Which means Sophia hasn’t told her anything. All Yoonchae knows is that Sophia is undoubtedly upset, and the younger girl asked Daniela to talk to Sophia about it, but Sophia is still upset.

Inwardly, Dani understands why Sophia hasn’t talked to Yoonchae about it. Yoonchae’s got a lot on her shoulders—she’s young and she’s growing up under all the harsh lights of the entertainment industry, and Sophia’s the leader. She wouldn’t want to stress Yoonchae out any further with wind of animosity between group members. Sophia doesn’t mean it as an excluding measure—she means it as a protective instinct.

“I do know,” Daniela confirms to Yoonchae, softly. 

Yoonchae’s eyes flick to the ground. “Oh,” she sounds.

Daniela’s hand is still on Yoonchae’s shoulder. She squeezes it, and Yoonchae’s eyes flick back up. The younger girl’s eyebrows are furrowed. “It’s not that she doesn’t trust you, it’s just—it’s complicated.”

Yoonchae nods hollowly. “Okay.”

Daniela smiles tightly. “I’m gonna go talk to her though, okay?”

“Yeah,” Yoonchae says quietly. She steps aside, and Daniela pushes the door back open for them.

Inside, Sophia is sat at the dining table, back straight, hand laying over her phone, motionless. She’s looking down at her fingers with focused eyes. She gives no reaction as Dani steps in and Yoonchae files in afterwards. No reaction, but no other movement neither.

“Soph,” Dani says gently. Just saying the girl’s name and seeing her so close already sets her heart ringing in her ears.

Sophia doesn’t say anything, and doesn’t lift her eyes from her hand on the table.

Yoonchae’s still at her back. There they stand, the two girls bunched up in the entryway and Sophia sat by the dining table, the dead air between them compressing further and further until Daniela swallows thickly and hears nothing else but the ringing in her ears. She sees nothing else but Sophia in front of her, back straight and black hair spilling over her shoulders and glossy lips pursed.

“Can I talk to you?” Daniela tries again, eyes on Sophia.

Sophia’s eyes remain lowered. She taps the pads of her fingers against the grain of the table. It’s the only part of her that moves; the only part of her that gives away her indecision and her acknowledgement of Daniela’s presence.

Yoonchae makes the decision for them. The younger girl steps away from Daniela, towards her bedroom door. “I’ll—” she looks to Dani, then settles her gaze on Sophia. She smiles awkwardly. “I’ll be in my room.”

They listen to Yoonchae’s feet move into her bedroom. The door closes behind her.

And still, Sophia says nothing.

Daniela tucks her head down to her chest, and pleads. “Please, Sophia, I—” she clenches her fists. Her throat thickens. In a broken, beseeching voice, she asks the girl, “Don’t you know how much I miss you?”

Dani feels like it must be written all over her, taped to her forehead in neon lights. She feels like an amputee, walking around with a limb missing and feeling the phantom touches whenever Sophia’s in the room. It feels like every nerve in her body responds only to Sophia’s attention, and she’s been starving for it. In fact, she feels like she could drop to her knees in the next moment and beg for Sophia to just lift her head and look back at her. She needs but a shred of Sophia’s attention to set things right.

And for a heartbreaking, long moment, Sophia says nothing. Does nothing.

Dani hangs her head, but vows to push forward. She has to get Sophia to understand. According to the little bit of what Lara said about Sophia’s feelings, the girl thinks everything meant nothing to Daniela. Dani can’t believe that—can’t believe that her feelings aren’t just oozing out of her skin. Can’t believe the girl can’t see it.

But then again, Daniela couldn’t see it clearly, either.

No longer.

The Latina puts strength behind her voice. “Today, at rehearsal, I kept looking at you and, just—hoping one of those times I’d catch you looking back. And every time we stood near each other in formation, I was hoping you’d acknowledge me. Give me anything,” her breath hitches. “But you didn’t. And I deserve that, I know that. But, Soph—” she swallows, keeping her eyes on the floor near Sophia’s feet. The girl is still motionless before her. “I feel like I haven’t been breathing all day. I need—” Daniela closes her eyes, overcome. “I need us to be okay. I don’t want to get used to this.”

She opens her eyes to flicks her gaze up at Sophia. The girl’s eyebrows have lowered, scrunched up over to top of her eyes, but she still doesn’t look back at Daniela.

“You asked me for space, and I’m—I’m really, really trying. I’ve been talking to Manon and Lara, like you said, and I’m finally starting to make sense of everything, but—nothing means anything if I can’t talk to you.” Daniela’s hands shake, still clenched in fists by her side. She’s still stood by the door, and it feels like she’s calling out to Sophia on the other side of the world. She continues, voice wavering, “And I know you’re still upset with me, but nothing matters if I can’t talk to you. You’re the only one I want to figure this out with.”

Daniela continues to stand before Sophia, hands shaking and lip trembling. She feels like she’s standing there, tried before the judge and awaiting her verdict.

And then, she hears Sophia let out a low, long exhale. The Filipina pulls herself to stand up from the dining chair.

Dani follows her movements with desperate, wide eyes.

Sophia’s mouth is still pursed. Her eyes flick over to Yoonchae’s door. When she speaks softly, Daniela strains her ears to drink in every word, “Let’s talk in my room.” Sophia walks with tense shoulders towards the back of the apartment, and Daniela scrambles to follow her. She doesn’t let herself walk too close.

Sophia opens her bedroom door and walks in. Daniela follows after her, stopping short in the middle of the girl’s room. She’s not quite sure where to stand.

The Filipina shuts the door behind them.

Dani turns around to look at Sophia.

Sophia stays by her door, arms crossed protectively in front of her. She lifts her eyes to look at Daniela carefully. Those beautiful eyes, now guarded and cautious, but finally looking at her. “You said you wanted to talk, so…”

Daniela nods eagerly. “Yeah, I did. I do.”

Sophia bobs her head. “Okay, so…”

Daniela swallows. With Sophia in front of her, so much closer now, and actually looking at her, her mind takes a moment to drink in the girl’s presence. The girl hasn’t looked at her so directly since they spoke in the bathroom. Her arms and collarbones are bare in the relaxed tank top she wears, and Dani marvels at the sight of the Filipina.

She realises she takes too long to reply.  

Sophia’s eyes narrow slightly. She tightens her arms in front of her. Her voice comes out quiet, “Do you even know what you want from me?”

Daniela’s heart thuds. She opens her mouth to respond, ready to share her epiphany, but Sophia continues.

“Because I do. I know how I feel with you.”

For a moment, it renders Dani silent. Annoyingly, she feels her ears start to heat up. This is not the time.

She tries to swallow it away.

Sophia sighs, her shoulders dropping with the weight of the world. Her eyes fall to the floor. “You know, sometimes, Dani, it’s really hard to read you.”

Dani’s eyebrows shoot up. “I’m hard to read?” 

Sophia’s eyes just flick back up to hers, tired. She says nothing.

Dani looks down at her clenched fists by her side. She whispers, conflicted, “I thought I was so obvious.”

For a moment, Dani’s words linger in the air. Then, Sophia responds, just as quietly, “I don’t think it’s all that obvious for others.”

Daniela draws her eyes back up to Sophia with a sorrowed gaze. “Even you?”

Sophia lets a small, broken smile curve her lips. It withers away just as quickly. “Sometimes, especially me.”

Sophia, whom she understands better than anyone else in the world, she’s felt has been recently unreadable in their last few conversations. And now, Sophia stands in front of her and tells her that she’s been feeling exactly the same way with Daniela. Dani’s heart breaks. Why has it come to this?

Sophia breathes out. She continues, “I think, sometimes, I mix my own feelings up with what I want yours to be, and… I have trouble figuring out what you actually feel.”

Daniela looks at her hesitantly. “What do you mean?”

“I know what I feel,” Sophia states, looking to Daniela bravely, though her eyes are still guarded. “From the moment we first kissed, I knew what it meant for me. We never talked about it, but I was happy to give you time to figure yourself out. We didn’t need to label it. But you…” Her voice breaks off, and her head falls to look at the floor in front of her. Daniela takes a miniscule step forward, but she knows her comfort isn’t wanted. Sophia needs to say this. Sophia swallows, and continues, “You brought this guy into our rehearsal studio and you called me your friend.” Sophia breathes out the word like a curse, eyes stuck to the floor and body so tense that Daniela wonders briefly how she keeps it all in. 

The small pieces left of Daniela’s heart break, watching Sophia trying to keep it together in front of her, finally telling her how she felt in those moments. How Daniela made her feel.

“And I realised that,” Sophia’s voice starts to waver. “I was so caught up in my own feelings that I assumed we were on the same page—that, we were… building something. Together.” Sophia gives a small, self-suffering smile. She whispers, “I was wrong.”

Dani startles, “You weren’t—”

Sophia’s eyes take on a delicate sheen, tears of frustration and hurt building deep. She cuts Dani off, tone desperate, “Wasn’t I?” Daniela’s already shaking her head, but Sophia pushes on. She keeps her eyes on the floor, though head held high like a soldier. Hands balled up by her sides, she speaks low in a contained and dangerous testimony. “I was the one who kept letting it happen. I was the one who thought it was okay that you never brought it up. I didn’t need you to label it, I just hoped when we kissed it meant something to you—”

“It meant everything to me!” Daniela cries, finally.

Sophia silences, snapping her gaze up to look at Dani, eyes wide and swimming with unshed tears.

Daniela repeats herself, whispering this time, “It meant. Everything. To me.”

Sophia let out a slow, wavering exhale.

Daniela steps one step closer. “I’m sorry I didn’t make that obvious to you. I’m so sorry.”

Sophia just continues to look at her, eyes filled with hurt and her body taught with caginess. This is the first time Dani’s said something, anything, to Sophia about what she felt in those moments. Before this, Sophia was under the impression that it meant nothing to Dani. Daniela has to change that. Doubtless, Dani has to convince Sophia that she was wrong—it’s not Sophia who’s been looking at this all wrong, it’s Daniela. It’s Daniela’s fault.

Dani feels all that self-deprecation rush back. Her hands tingle with it, and her mouth fires off, “I’m sorry I didn’t talk to you about it. But, I’m not sorry that it happened. At first—it was truly just because I was curious about what it was like to kiss a girl. It’s like I told you, I trust you, and I feel safe with you, and so I wanted to try it with you. And then,” Dani shakes her head at herself, her heart heavy in her chest. “And then, it just kept happening and all the pieces slid together, and I…” Daniela loses her fire. Unguarded and real, she confesses, “I didn’t mean to love you. Like this. But I can’t not.” 

Sophia watches her. “Like this? What does that mean?” She asks carefully.

“Soph,” She whispers, imploring.

“Dani,” Sophia says back, defeated. She drops her voice to a whisper, “Please, I need to hear you say it.”

Dani breathes out, tortured. The right words fill out her throat, press on her chest. But, she focuses on Sophia’s hands, clenched on either side of the girl’s body. She draws her eyes up, past the harsh line of Sophia’s shoulders, her trembling lips, and up to her shining eyes. The girl is looking at her so deeply, so beseechingly. She’s stunning.

Daniela has trouble putting herself out of her comfort zone and wording her feelings accurately, but here, in this moment, with Sophia looking at her like that, she takes her leap of faith.

There, standing before Sophia, looking directly into the girl’s eyes, Daniela professes, helpless and deliberate, “I’m in love with you, Soph.”

Sophia’s breath hitches.

Daniela takes a stabilising inhale, ignoring the thickness of her throat, and makes herself elaborate. Sophia deserves it. “Being with you feels natural. Like…inevitable. Like, I feel like there’s something in me that connects me to you. I never stopped to ask myself what that meant on a deeper level. I can’t think of anything else when I’m around you. I just know I need to be close to you.” Daniela feels like she’s tearing herself open, pulling her chest apart to clutch at her heart and hold it up for Sophia, offering it to her without knowing what the girl will do in turn. And despite how scary it is, Dani’s never felt freer. She’s never been able to put all her feelings for Sophia into words, never been able to pluck the vocabulary out of the air and say, that’s what I feel. She should’ve known she needed to say it in front of Sophia first. Distantly, she still feels like the words perfect for her feelings for Sophia haven’t been written yet, haven’t been discovered—but these come pretty close. “I need you,” she finishes, in awe.

Sophia lips twitch. A tear finally falls lightly from the outer corner of her eye, slipping slowly down her cheekbone. “I need you, too,” she whispers.

“I’m sorry it took me so long,” Dani murmurs back immediately, revered eyes on Sophia’s face. All the tension seems to be melting from the girl’s features, just with Daniela’s words. Seeing the girl cry, though, starts to make her eyes grow hot, too. A small tear drops down her cheek. She pays it no mind.

Sophia shakes her head delicately. “I don’t blame you for taking time,” she says, taking a step forward with her eyes tracing the path of Daniela’s tear down her cheek.

Daniela’s eyebrows furrow, unconvinced. Sophia may be standing in front of her and telling her she doesn’t blame Dani, but that doesn’t yet change Dani’s thoughts—if the Latina had just taken a moment to think more about the meaning of her feelings around Sophia, they might have gotten to this moment without all this heart ache. She can’t meet Sophia’s eyes. She tucks her head down, tears falling heavier over her jaw.

Sophia takes another step closer. She reaches out to brush her fingers against the outside of Dani’s hand, soft and reassuring. She dips her head to try and catch Dani’s eyes, and says meaningfully, “Dani, it’s not your fault.”

Dani’s lips tremble immediately, eyes on Sophia’s hand touching hers. She feels a tear drop from the tip of her nose, falling to land on their gently connected hands.

Sophia laces their fingers together, letting the Latina’s tear melt in their shared warmth. Daniela watches it, awed, her heart refilling in her chest. The heat of Sophia’s touch spreads through her body immediately—she didn’t even realise she was cold.

Sophia speaks again, “You were figuring yourself out, and I get that. It’s not your fault, okay?”

Daniela flicks her eyes up to Sophia again, the girl looking at her earnestly. “Okay,” she murmurs back. “But I still upset you,” Dani states stubbornly.

Sophia’s eyes soften, an endeared smile curling her lips. She starts to clarify, “It’s just because I knew my feelings, and that made it hard for me, sometimes.”

Daniela watches the girl’s face, silently admiring the way Sophia can admit her feelings so easily, so eloquently, with no fear of judgement. It makes Dani feel braver to do the same. She squeezes the Filipina’s hand.

Sophia’s lips twinge, but she carries on seriously. She chooses her words carefully, “Every moment, every kiss meant I fell even quicker. I was letting myself fall, but you were still treating it as something casual. I never thought you were a bad person for that—” she clutches tighter at Daniela’s grasp, desperately, “I never thought you were cruel. I just—I knew it meant we were in different places. And that hurt more than I wanted to admit,” She swallows, eyes forlorn. In a gravelly voice, she says, “I had to pull away. I needed to protect myself. I’m sorry for that.”

Dani shakes her head immediately. Her eyes trace over Sophia’s features. Slowly, she lifts her hand to the girl’s face, and cradles her cheek softly. She brushes away the tear drying on her cheek there. The girl’s eyes close immediately, head leaning into Dani’s palm. “I missed you so much, Soph,” the Latina whispers, wrecked.

Sophia slowly opens her eyes, blinking slowly at Daniela. Slowly, deliberately, she pulls Dani’s hands from her face so return the favour, cradling Dani’s jaw and rubbing her thumbs over the wet tracks dotingly. Dani watches her, eyes devotional.

When the girl is done, she lets her arms drop down Daniela’s body, hardly touching the Latina on either side of the waist. She meets Daniela’s gaze with dark, wide eyes. Her lips part, shining with gloss. “Dani,” she whispers back, voice full of longing.

Dani pulls herself in with a flurry of movement, and kisses the girl.

She tilts her head to slot their mouths together, and feels the girl mirror the movement immediately. She lets her hand cradle either side of Sophia’s neck, breathing out serenely through her nose and savouring the softness of Sophia’s lips against her own, again, finally. She drinks the girl in through deep, slow kisses.

Dani disconnects their mouths to breathe out harshly, suddenly overwhelmed with the feeling of being close once more. She hadn’t dared to let herself hope that the girl would allow her to do such a thing again, despite finally understanding the depth of her feelings. Her own feelings gave her no right to the girl’s. Nonetheless, here she stands, the girl in front of her admitting she feels the same way Daniela feels. She’s never been luckier in her entire life.

She nuzzles their noses together lovingly, and feels Sophia let out a delicate huff of a giggle.

Dani sneaks a wet press of her mouth right under Sophia’s ear, and those giggles break out into a groan. It makes Dani smile.

In retaliation, Sophia takes a firmer hold of Dani’s hips, and presses them closer. Feeling their hipbones brush against each other, Dani’s breath comes out stuttered by Sophia’s ear.

“God, I missed you,” Sophia says, ducking her head to press a frenzy of kisses against the column of Dani’s throat. “Let’s never be sad again.”

“Agreed,” Dani says, but softness of Sophia’s lips on her sensitive skin is intoxicatingly heady. She can hardly even remember any other than this moment.

Sophia’s hands flex on Dani’s hips. Her voice drops low, mouth tucked against the underside of Dani’s jaw, “And don’t you ever call me your friend again.” She presses down hard, long kisses.

“Huh?” Dani can hardly compute what the girl is saying, too caught up in the feeling of Sophia’s lips against her skin again, finally.  

Sophia’s hands dig into the softness of Dani’s waist, playfully. As the Latina flinches and whines, a smile widens on Sophia’s mouth, stretching and pressing against the skin of the Latina’s throat. She pulls Daniela closer, her arms wrapping around to the back of Dani’s hips. “In the studio, with that guy, you introduced me as your friend,” she recounts.  

“Oh,” Dani says, breath hitching. She drags her hands up Sophia’s shoulders and back into the nape of Sophia’s neck. She threads her fingers into the silky strands there, and pulls the girl towards her, further into herself.  

Sophia’s response is mumbled into Dani’s neck. “Yeah,” she grumbles lowly. She nuzzles against Dani’s neck, and the Latina’s breath stutters. Mostly playful, she says, “Don’t you ever do that shit again.”  

Dani giggles breathily, drunk off the moment. “What, did that trigger you?”   

A few moments ago, this subject had dug up deep hurt and yearning. Now, with their feelings in the open, and their hands on each other, everything feels lighter. Sophia responds, growling with a sly grin, “That shit pissed me off so bad.”   

Dani smiles and turns to press her dimple into Sophia’s ear. She has to admit, hearing Sophia like this for her, swearing when she usually does it so sparingly, makes her feel giddy. She presses a kiss there, lets it echo. Turning her mouth next to the girl’s ear, she whispers, “Not friends. Got it.”  

Sophia’s arms tighten around her. “No. Definitely not.”

Dani bites gently at Sophia’s earlobe. When Sophia’s next breath comes out as a suppressed whimper, she soothes her lips lightly over the skin underneath the girl’s ear. There, fingers tingling, the Latina murmurs, “Are you okay if I introduce you as—something else, then?”

“Mm?” Sophia mumbles, kissing a line across the jut of Daniela’s jaw. She licks against the spot where Dani’s heart beats wildly in her throat, teasingly.

Daniela lets out a tortured gasp, then draws her hands down to Sophia’s chest and pushes against it.

Sophia’s eyes are all dazed when their gazes meet, her eyebrows all furrowed and her lips curling downwards. She lets out a dismayed whine, “What?”

The Latina’s eyes soften. Her fingers dance against the tops of Sophia’s shoulders. She lets her eyes drop languidly to the girl’s mouth, then draws herself in close, slow as ever. Sophia lets her.

When their mouths touch, she encloses Sophia’s lower lip between her own and sucks gently, ardently. She rests her forehead on the other girl’s and lets their mouths disconnect without a hurry in the world. “You’re right,” she starts, softly. The words spill into Sophia’s mouth, her lips brushing up against the Filipina’s with every movement. “We’re not friends. I don’t wanna be just friends with you.” Daniela separates their foreheads so she can look in Sophia’s eyes clearer.

The girl meets her gaze. Her eyes are open with that expressiveness that Daniela has always loved. The Latina sees only care and adoration in those deep brown eyes, pupils blown wide. And she means it just for Daniela. The girl’s arms tighten around the back of Dani’s hips. “I don’t want to, either,” she responds, hushed. Her eyes take on something sadder. Brows drawn tight, she admits, “Dani, I can’t. It kills me.”

Dani’s heart withers into her stomach. She drops her head into Sophia’s neck and pulls the girl in closer around the back of the shoulders so Sophia does the same. The Filipina’s head burrows desperately into Daniela. Mouth tipped into the girl like prayer, Dani apologises, “Sophia, I’m so sorry for hurting you.”

Sophia says nothing, letting her mouth press against the skin of Daniela’s neck and her nose breath out in warm puffs. Then, soft but resolute, she replies, “I forgive you.”

“I won’t do it again.” Dani promises. She lifts onto her toes and brings both arms up to cradle around Sophia’s head, protectively.

Sophia nods softly, her nose moving against the skin of Daniela’s throat. The Filipina’s fingers caress warmly against Dani’s lower back. “I know, mahal.”

Dani immediately presses her lips together, trying in vain to stop a pleased grin spreading across her mouth. A blush spreads up her neck and ears. Head still tucked into Sophia’s shoulder and arms perched over the girl’s shoulders, she lowers back down onto her feet and twirls some of Sophia’s silky hair around her fingers. She redirects the conversation back to her original point, “So, if I’m not introducing you as a friend…” she lets the words linger.

She feels Sophia’s mouth stretch into a grin in her neck, her teeth pressing there. Her voice takes on a flirty, coy edge, “Are you asking me something?”

Dani groans dramatically. She wraps her arms fully around Sophia’s neck and keeps her head tucked below the girl’s chin. “You’re gonna make me nervous,” she complains.

Sophia giggles delicately, but says nothing more. She lets Daniela choose her words, her thumbs rubbing affectionate circles into the Latina’s hips.

Daniela lets out a deep, purposeful exhale. For the past week, Sophia’s been patient while Dani figured herself out. Now, Dani must show she’s ready.

She draws her head up from Sophia’s neck and comes eye to eye with the girl. Her eyes search over Sophia’s face, letting herself commit the Filipina’s features to memory unhurriedly. Her long lashes, her dark eyes, her round cheeks and her thick eyebrows. Her soft mouth. Dani’s hand comes to cradle at the girl’s cheek, resting there light as a feather. She stretches her thumb out to soothe against Sophia’s lower lip, running softly along its ridges and lines. She lets herself breathe into the moment, basking in Sophia’s eyes on her. Needing to touch her more, Dani draws her fingers against the girl’s temple, brushing at her bangs and tucking wayward strands behind her ear. The Latina brings her hand back to cradle Sophia’s cheek again. Her whole world, in the palm of her hand.

Daniela lets herself hold Sophia’s gaze. Softly, she asks, “Make me yours?”

Sophia’s eyes flutter and a smile immediately curls on her lips. Daniela can feel the girl’s hands clench behind her hips. Sophia gives quick, restrained nods. “Yes,” she whispers, with a touch of a contented giggle. Her shoulders immediately drop their invisible weight, and her eyes shine with unconcealed happiness. “Please,” she implores, rushing to pull Daniela closer.

Their mouths meet quickly, over and over again in deep promises. Daniela can’t get enough of her.

Sophia speaks between kisses. She hardens her voice, “But you better not be introducing me to any more guys, period. If you’re mine, you’re mine.”

“I’m yours,” Dani breathes.

Sophia pulls her impossibly closer. They’re pressed against each other from the swells of their chests to the juts of their hips. “No more of that Jason guy.”

“He’s already gone.”

Sophia whimpers, and dips her head to nip at the skin where Daniela’s heart beats wildly by her throat. “Fuck, I’ve never felt more possessive in my entire life.”   

“I’m obsessed with you,” Dani whispers back, reverently, arms tight around Sophia’s head in worship. Her heart feels like it’s bursting out of her chest, the light of it tingling up her torso, through her throat and her head and exploding at her fingertips. She hardly feels stable. She kisses her words into Sophia’s ear, “God, I’m so in love with you.”  

“I’m in love with you, too,” Sophia replies, without hesitation.

And suddenly, the moment slows. With their confessions lingering in the air, Sophia’s grasp around her becomes softer, caressing. Daniela loosens her hold on Sophia’s head to ease her hands onto the girl’s shoulders. Sophia pulls away so they can look at each other again.

Seeing Sophia’s face in front of her, the happiness evident in her eyes, makes Dani feel impossibly soft. She did that. She moves her fingers through Sophia’s hair, dotingly. She speaks gently, “The girls all noticed something was up, by the way.”

Sophia keeps her eyes on Dani’s, and smiles. “I know.”

“They were worried about you.”

Sophia’s eyes soften. “I know,” she says again, gentler.

A little cautious, Dani offers, “Do you think we should talk to them?”

“About us?” Sophia’s hands massage into the back of Dani’s hips.

A smile curves on Dani’s lips. Us. “Mm.”

Sophia thinks for a moment. “I think they’ll find out eventually.”

Dani nods. “And we always talk to each other.”

Sophia smiles softly. “We do,” she agrees.

Dani’s hand continues stroking through Sophia’s hair, the motion and the feel of the silky strands comforting her. She trains her eyes on it. “Do you think they’re still mad at me?”

Sophia immediately shakes her head. “They were never mad at you, Dani. They were just—protective. They didn’t really know what was wrong.”

Dani slides her eyes back to Sophia’s, hesitantly. “Not even Lara?”

Sophia shakes her head again. “I only talked to Lara a little. I—needed to. But I knew you and I had to talk before I said anything more.”

Daniela’s eyebrows furrow a little. “But you asked me for space.”

“I did,” she holds Dani’s gaze, eyes open. “I needed that, too. But I wanted you to come to me when you were ready. I wanted to know you care.”

“I do,” Dani states strongly.

Sophia eyes soften impossibly more. Daniela can name the feeling in the girl’s eyes—love. “I know you do.”

Daniela nods softly. With Sophia’s eyes on hers, she feels brave. “I think we can talk to the girls. About us.” 

Sophia searches her gaze. “They’re going to ask questions.”

“I know.”

“Are you ready for that?”

Daniela lets herself think about it. Slowly, she says, “I think I’m still figuring some things out. About… what it all means—for me, specifically…but…”

Sophia nods encouragingly, tightening her arms around Daniela warmly. “That’s okay, Dani.”

Daniela follows the girl’s movements, nodding along with Sophia, letting herself become okay with not knowing yet. “I think so, too,” she murmurs. Hands on Sophia’s warm skin, eyes looking into the girl’s doting gaze, she continues, “I’m not so sure about some things, but—I know I’m sure about you.”

She watches Sophia’s smile stretch into a grin as a small blush rises on the apples of the girl’s cheeks. Yeah, she’s sure about this girl.

The Filipina leans in to touch their foreheads together. Their noses rub against each other. Daniela closes her eyes in bliss.

Sophia whispers, “We can figure out the rest together, then.”

Daniela smiles. She whispers against the girl’s lips, “I like the sound of that.”

--

THE END.