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English
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Part 12 of The Adventures of Mace Windu and his Feral Murder Children
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Published:
2025-08-04
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1,190
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1/1
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Ilum

Summary:

Master Yoda indulges in a spot of theft from the archives, and Mace takes his Padawan to find a kyber crystal

Work Text:

Mace sighs as a familiar cackle fills the corridor. The sound is followed by a small green blur racing across the floor, and bouncing off walls as it turns. It leaps over Mace's head, arms full of stolen datapads, and somersaults away into the distance, gleeful cackles echoing down the corridor behind it.

He exchanges a weary glance with Cody.

"S an unantwicipated conononsequence." Cody observes.

Mace hides a smile. Cody is a little gem. He's so glad he decided to take these children in. 

"I probably should have thought of it." Mace concedes. "You are all remarkable people, it was rather inevitable that everyone would do what they could to spend more time with you. Apparently that includes stealing from the archives." He smirks in satisfaction. Jocasta is certainly paying for trying to steal his children from him. "I have had to remind a lot of people who should know better that envy is unbecoming of a Jedi. A lot of them are regretting not being faster off the mark in claiming you."

"Is bein smug good for Jedi?" Cody asks innocently.

Mace cackles internally at the sass, and folds his hands into his sleeves.

"I have no idea what you're referring to, Cod'ika."

"Mmhmm." Cody looks down at his com. "Now scusin me, I hav to organwise takedown of Master Woda."

 

"Now whats do?" Waxer is asking, sounding a little bewildered. 

Mace frowns, and changes direction towards the sound of his voice. 

"Tink we need Gen'ika." Boil responds.

"Need to get datapads owt." Wooley muses.

"Cod'ika on is way." Waxer reports.

Mace turns the corner and has to shunt a mountain of amusement straight into the force in order not to burst out laughing. His children have caught Master Yoda in a net. It looks like a scaled up version of a children's fishing net, a circular hoop on the end of a long pole. The Master is trapped on the floor, tangled in netting, sulking, even as his ears quiver in amusement.

His children are sat on the net handle, keeping it pinned to the floor.

It's actually an incredibly good plan. All Yoda's spinning acrobatics have just tangled the net further around him. Mace wonders where they got it.

"How did you catch him?" He asks.

Boil grins at him.

"Cut off der scape woutes wiv twaps dat are feelin more dangewous in der force. Dis der ownly one left."

"You manipulated him via the warnings we get from the force?"

"Eh." Boil shrugs "We fowt lotsa siffs. Knows how to do it."

There should only be two Sith. Well, there shouldn't be any Sith, but Mace is prepared to believe his children that they've encountered some. If his children aren't currently worried, then the Sith aren't likely to become a problem for a while. They had time. 

Right now though, there are more important things to concern himself with. He reaches for his com, and takes a holo of the entrapped Jedi Master. If he's learnt one thing from his children, it's that it's always a good idea to have blackmail material to hand. 

 

 

"I'll be taking my new Padawan to Ilum." Mace tells the quartermaster. "It seems highly unlikely that my other children will stay behind, so I'll need cold weather gear for..." He trails off, gaze caught by a piece of flimsy pinned up on the wall behind the quartermasters desk. It displays a drawing in the now familiar medium of wax crayon. And depicts a green squiggle with a frowny face and drooping ears. Black crosshatching has been applied over the top. Along the top of the flimsy are the letters 'AFTR ACTN REPRT'. The quartermaster is radiating mild amusement at him. "... they've already been by, haven't they." Mace says on a sigh. 

"All supplied with appropriate cold weather outfits, and one large net." The quartermaster informs him cheerfully. 

Mace's eyes flick back to the flimsy. His demon children have been bribing people with their drawings. He very carefully doesn't ask what else the quartermaster gave them. He's quite certain that he doesn't want to know.

 

 

"You tort dat you were goin in a big cave full of ice and weveens an where der force-osik is bein all judgy, by yourself?" Cody asks with his arms folded, blocking the ramp off the ship.

"Force will potect me." Obi-wan states, mirroring Cody's pose.

"We potect you," Cody replies, "den you be double tected."

Wooley leans around Cody, tooka eyes deployed. 

"Pwease Gen'ika, can we see der pwetty force cave?"

Obi-wan perks up.

"It's wewy shiny!" He says excitedly, grabbing Wooley's hand, and pulling him past an exasperated Cody "You'll like it!"

Mace burries his head in his hands as his children stream past him to see the pretty force cave. At least they look extra cute with their big coats on over their armour, and their mittens on string dangling from their sleeves, and their little bobble hats.

 

Obi-wan walks out of the cave looking a little worse for wear, and clutching his crystal happily. Behind him are... oh no. He really should have seen this coming. Behind him, the rest of Mace's children are each clutching their own crystals, and wearing expressions that range from bewildered through awed and besotted, and ending with Cody's utter resignation. Wooley is stroking his, and crooning to it under his breath. 

"Ghosts gona hav lightsabers too!" Obi-wan tells him happily. "Cwystals chose em!" 

And indeed, the crystals are all singing happily in the force, humming with a deep throbbing need to protect.

"What am I doin wiv a laser sword?" Cody asks, slightly plaintive.

"Can still use bwasters." Obi-wan reassures, patting his shoulder. "Use lightsaber for memergencies."

Cody just sighs.

"Need anovver clip for bewlt."

Did Cody... did Cody used to have a clip on his belt just for Obi-wan's lightsaber? How often was he dropping it?

 

Obi-wan turns his newly built lightsaber on, revealing a glowing blue blade. 

"Yay!" Waxer cries "s Lawrence!"

"Hewwo Lawrence!" Wooley calls.

Obi-wan extinguishes the blade, and hands the hilt to Cody, who pats it before handing it back. It hums just as happily in Cody's hands as it does Obi-wan's.

 

Then the other children finish their sabers. Each and every one of the lightsabers has a deep black core, like the void between stars. But the halo of each shimmers a different colour. The colouring is far from usual, but something about it seems familiar from somewhere.

Obi-wan chortles and falls backwards with a thump, his laughter taking him out again. 

"Yous all der Mand'alor!" He crows between gasped breaths. Oh, Mace remembers. The ruler of Mandalore was whoever was holding Tarre Vizla's lightsaber. The darksaber. 

Mace's children grin at each other, all bloodthirsty and bared teeth. 

The halo of Cody's saber is a strange orange-gold, and he's studying it with his head tilted in thought. He's definitely plotting something. Mace resists the urge to back away slowly. If his children want to take over the galaxy, he'll be right there helping them. Not least because attempting to stop them would be utterly futile. They still have the net.