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Emotionally Hostile Refrigerator

Summary:

A compilation of drabbles and short one-shots from New Tideland's Discord server, written in honor of the AITA post about turning a fridge into a surveillance horror movie with googly eyes - and the response that it would spawn Murderbot fanfics.

Please see individual chapters for tags, warnings, and/or characters.

Notes:

Original Reddit post at the end of Chapter 1.

Chapter 1: Inside the Mind of a Cereal Chiller

Summary:

The habitat's food recycler was refusing to feed any of my clients; instead it was dishing up insults – pretty tasteless ones at that.

Notes:

Set between LeeBeeBee losing her head and Team PresAux deciding to abandon the habitat.

Chapter Text

Dr. Mensah stood in front of the food recycler with her arms crossed and a stern expression on her face.

"Tea. Earl Grey. Iced."

"You look like you could use a gastric band. Come back when you've had one fitted."

"It's been doing that a lot," said Ratthi. "Earlier, it refused to serve me a high-energy bar until I completed twenty pushups."

"Do you need me to intervene?" I asked.

"Bring it on, ya big doofus!" said the food dispensing unit, testily.

I powered up my energy weapons, but Gurathin quickly stepped in.

"That machine may not be the only food supply we've got," he said, "but we won't last long with only the vegetables we've grown in the habitat. It needs to be fixed."

___

 

After a brief argument discussion about who would be best placed to investigate the security breach (clue: I'm a Security Unit), I slipped into the unit's vitals via HubSystem and started gently poking around, only too aware that malware could be waiting to infect me and force me to kill my clients. Presently, I found it.

"Aha! It looks like the late LeeBeeBee left us a going-away present." Just like evil Bookkeeper Wittenmark in Sanctuary Moon. This must have been her failsafe in case she was captured. (LOL.)

I toyed with the idea of letting the unit keep tormenting Ratthi for fun, but decided client safety came first and foremost. I carefully picked apart the malware, keeping a copy for potential future use against GrayCris, then rebooted the recycler.

"Hostile has been subdued," I announced as a glass of ice cold tea was dispensed.

"Thank the deities you've sorted that out," said Mensah.

There was a gagging noise from upstairs, followed by the sound of Pin-Lee's voice.

"Uh, guys, the toilets are running backwards."

Reddit prompt