Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

He came back twice, but only to see her. She never told anyone about their two brief interludes, not even Rory as she grew older, allowing the others to keep up the notion that he was buried in his mission in Hell.

One night when she was about thirty-four weeks pregnant and Trixie had fallen asleep, she became aware of the presence of a silent yet commanding figure as well as the lightest smell of ash in the living room. She scooted to the edge of the couch cushion, about to cling to the arm of the couch for dear life to stand (truly, why did she always seem to go for the couch instead of the chair?), when a familiar hand reached toward her. She stared at it with awe before slowly raising her head to look at his blissful face.

‘Good evening, Detective,’ Lucifer said sotto voce. ‘I doubt I’ve ever seen you look so ravishing. I’d heard that pregnant women glowed, but you are truly stunning.’

She took his hand and stood, and he softly placed his hands on her waist to steady her before leaning down to chastely kiss her. When their lips parted, they kept their faces close until she reached up to press the sides of his face and tilt it forward, their foreheads touching. She was vaguely aware of the tears that began streaming down her face and the light brush of his fingers as he wiped the tears from her cheeks.

‘I’m sorry you’ve been alone,’ he said then raised his head to kiss her forehead.

‘I’m not alone,’ she replied quietly. ‘Everyone is so supportive.’

There was a beat, then her tears increased and she gasped through sobs. He wrapped his arms around her back and pulled her to him as best he could.

‘I wish it could be different,’ she admitted between gasps. ‘But I know the importance of the promise we made to Rory.’

He laid his cheek atop her head. ‘It’s horrendously difficult despite the gravitas of the task at hand.’

At that moment, he felt a roll against his abdomen, and his breath hitched.

‘Was that…?’

‘Yeah,’ she said with a little laugh as she sniffled then backed up enough to rub her belly, looking down at it. ‘Getting really close to making her debut. I’m surprised she successfully makes strong moves anymore; it feels like she’s run out of space.’

She looked back up at him.

‘She must know her Dad’s here.’

Reaching out, she almost hesitantly took his hand and pulled it toward her. He tensed but didn’t withdraw the hand as she placed it where Rory had kicked moments before. She could still feel their daughter moving, and she knew immediately that Lucifer could feel her as well. He tipped his head back, eyes closed but tears managing to sneak through. She reached up to return the favor in kind, brushing the tears on the right side of his face away with her thumb then leaving her hand in place, rubbing softly against his cheek as she watched his face. He tilted it forward again as he placed his other hand against her belly, running his hand over it with fingers spread widely.

‘What I would give to have been here to see you grow, to help you through this, to support you with the smallest of actions,’ he said, eyes still closed.

‘I understand,’ she replied. ‘Rory understands. What you’re doing is of cosmic importance, Lucifer.’

He slumped slightly as she said his name.

‘Let’s sit,’ she said after a few beats. ‘Just for a little while. I know you need to get back.’

He nodded, opening his eyes that had been clarified with tears.

They settled, Chloe sitting in Lucifer’s lap, her head on his shoulder and left hand held at the crux of his neck and opposing shoulder. He brushed her belly absentmindedly, looking down at it yet fixed on nothing. Rory kept kicking periodically. Chloe’s breath came in soft puffs against his neck as she nuzzled into him. Minutes passed.

He tensed. ‘I have to—‘

‘Yeah, you need to get going,’ she said quietly, squeezing her eyes shut. ‘It’s okay.’

She carefully got up with his assistance, and they stood facing each other, Lucifer’s hands once again settled on her waist. They looked at each other pensively before Lucifer bent down and took the edge of her shirt.

‘May I?’

‘If you want to see that stretch-marked mess,’ she said with a sigh.

He rolled up her shirt, exposing her abdomen. His fingers snaked up a couple of the larger divots in her skin before he pressed a hand to her belly and rubbed down the side of it. Carefully, he leaned forward and kissed over the last place he’d felt Rory kick. Standing, he looked down as he re-situated her shirt before focusing on her again. Their eyes locked before they dove in for a deep kiss. When it broke, Chloe leaned forward to press against Lucifer’s chest, and he wrapped his arms around her once more.

‘I love you,’ he said into her hair.

‘I love you too,’ she replied, her throat aching.

Letting go of her, he stepped back and lightly kissed her forehead before brushing past her to go to the door. His hand hesitated on the handle as he sighed softly. He stepped out after a long pause, and she soon heard the rapidly disappearing sound of wings. Sitting down in the chair, she wrapped her arms across her chest and cried as she stared blankly across the room.

Chapter Text

She didn’t know which factor made this labor so intensely difficult compared to Trixie’s, but it felt like it was drawing on forever. Was it because Rory was a Celestial? Her geriatric pregnancy, as her obstetrician so kindly put it?

Or maybe it was because the only person she really wanted to be there wasn’t.

Friends and family flittered in and out, but she felt herself closing off from them and finally asked they stop and allow her to do this alone. She’d call them when the baby arrived. As the hours droned on, she began to become concerned about the durability of her body, and as day turned into night then day again, her nurses were voicing concerns about Rory that drew the attention of the obstetrician on call. After a couple of late decelerations, they gave her the choice to try a little longer and possibly end up in an emergency c-section or to go ahead and proceed with a more orderly surgery. She elected for orderly.

As she laid on the table after the conversion from epidural to spinal anesthesia, her senses seemed dulled. The CRNA was finishing set-up as the drape raised between her chest and abdomen, and she could vaguely hear surgical instruments being set up with a couple of conversations happening in the room at the same time. Reality started to be fuzzy on the edges, and she slowly became aware of the fact that she was hyperventilating.

‘Remember, it may feel like you can’t breathe, but you’re only numbed below your diaphragm,’ said the CRNA softly when she noticed Chloe’s respiratory rate. ‘Can you breathe with me? Deep breath in, smooth breath out.’

She tried to listen to the other woman, but she was only half successful. The room grew quieter as they got closer to calling timeout, but the CRNA held them off for a moment while she tried to calm Chloe.

‘Please try, in and—‘ the CRNA started, then looked past Chloe’s face, suddenly perking up. ‘Oh, are you her husband?’

Now she held her breath.

‘Partner, but yes,’ came a welcome voice, and she turned to look at him, three-piece suit covered in paper scrubs, as he settled onto the stool next to the surgical table. ‘Hello, darling. Shall we breathe together?’

Tears were already running down her face as he took her hand, squeezing it comfortingly before weaving his fingers in hers. He leaned down to kiss her cheek which was salty with tears. He sat up again, breathing audibly in a smooth cadence as he laid a hand on her head and brushed her temple with his thumb. The world slowly came back into focus as she watched his face silently.

‘There we go,’ he said softly. ‘You’ve got it.’

‘You’ve got a wonderful partner,’ the CRNA said as she turned back to her machine partially.

‘I really do,’ Chloe replied, smiling, and Lucifer returned her smile.

The CRNA gave the word, and the obstetrician called timeout before beginning the surgery.

‘You’ll just feel pressure, no pain,’ the doctor said from the other side of the drape. ‘If you feel pain, tell us immediately.’

‘It’s not bad, quite well-planned, tried and true pain prevention,’ Lucifer said a bit matter-of-factly. ‘We used to use different forms of birth as torture in Hell, but I assure you that they were largely made grandiose by demons and not entirely grounded in reality. All is well.’

The CRNA furrowed her brow a bit, her paper charting slowing for a moment before she elected to ignore the conversation taking place on the other side of Chloe.

‘Oh,’ Chloe said softly, scrunching her face as she stared at the ceiling.

‘Are they hurting you? Do they need to stop?’ Lucifer asked abruptly as he squeezed her hand, but she shook her head.

‘It’s just a weird sensation, someone just… being inside you.’

‘I mean, I’ve been—‘

She turned to look at him with an air of annoyance as the CRNA snorted softly.

He chuckled. ‘Different, different. Point well taken.’

They looped into their own world, just staring at each other with an occasional forehead kiss from Lucifer. It seemed too short a time later that they were aware of wailing on the other side of the drape.

‘Dad, do you want to announce the sex?’ the doctor asked.

Lucifer smiled at Chloe but didn’t move to look over the drape before speaking. ‘A girl.’

‘Aurora,’ Chloe added, and soon a bundle was brought around by a nurse.

Lucifer rolled out of the way a bit, craning his neck to look at Rory as the nurse leaned to place the baby on Chloe’s chest, keeping a steady hand in place as Chloe reached up with her own hand to brush the baby’s cheek. Lucifer reached out hesitantly to lay his hand upon the knit cap on the baby’s head.

‘Hello, Rory,’ Lucifer said softly. ‘Welcome to this plane of existence.’

Chloe laughed softly as the nurse picked up the baby to move her to the warmer for measurements and a proper examination. After a glance to Chloe, Lucifer stood and walked to the warmer, waiting until the nurse walked off to look down serenely at their daughter. Chloe felt her heart soar as she watched him — she was certain she’d never seen him so happy before. He reached out, and Rory grasped one of his fingers. Chloe became very aware that she was crying again.

‘Okay, we’ll get you moved to a bed to take you to postpartum. It’ll take a few hours for the spinal to wear off,’ the CRNA said.

Chloe was pushed behind the warmer to the elevator, her hand intertwined with Lucifer’s. The two of them went down first and were locked into place in the postpartum room when Rory was brought in. Her nurse did an assessment, checking her bleeding and vital signs before hooking her up to fluids.

‘Would you like us to call anyone? I know you initially had several people visiting per the notes from the other nurses.’

‘No,’ Chloe said, looking up at Lucifer. ‘I think it’ll be just the three of us for a little while.’

‘Sounds good,’ the nurse said cheerily as she picked up Rory from the warmer and brought her to Chloe. ‘Skin-to-skin for the golden hour.’

Chloe took her right hand from Lucifer’s and unsnapped her gown to expose her chest. Lucifer raised his eyebrows, his sight laser-focused on her breasts, but they were soon blocked by the baby who, with the help of the nurse, was shortly very securely latched to a nipple. Everything settled, the nurse took her leave. Chloe watched Rory pensively before looking up as Lucifer slipped into the bed next to her. He reached over and laid his hand on Rory’s blanket-covered back, softly rubbing it. He leaned his face forward to press his chin against her shoulder.

‘Careful, one wrong move and you’ll get blood on that lovely suit of yours.’

‘Ah yes, as I’ve absolutely never gotten blood on a suit before.’

She laughed lightly, then they fell into a long silence finally interrupted by her switching Rory to the other breast.

‘I’m afraid I can’t stay much longer,’ he said in a strained voice.

‘I know,’ she replied carefully before turning to look at him again. ‘When will I see you again?’

His only response was a mournful look before turning his sight away from her.

She nodded wordlessly before taking a shuddering breath. ‘But we’re here together now, yeah?’

‘Yeah,’ he said distantly.

She paused for a beat. ‘Do you… do you want to hold her?’

He tensed and exhaled softly. ‘I shan’t.’

A few more fleeting minutes passed before he climbed out of the bed and looked down at her. Without a word, he leaned down and kissed her deeply, his eyes remaining closed even after the kiss broke. Sighing, he opened his eyes and kissed Rory’s head before straightening stiffly.

‘I love you, Chloe Decker.’

Chloe reached out and grabbed his hand. ‘I love you too. Never forget it.’

‘I’ll let the nurse know to call everyone,’ he said then looked down and smiled sadly. ‘See you on the other side.’

Their hands lingered together for as long as possible as he moved to the door, turning back for just a moment to look back at the two of them as if he was taking a mental picture. After the door clicked shut, she stared at it for awhile before looking down at Rory, tears silently running down her face. It was a couple more bleeding checks and some finally wiggling toes before visitors began to arrive. Maze seemed suspicious about something on arrival, looking around the room with a raised eyebrow and a couple of furtive sniffs, but quickly returned to baseline.

‘I’m so sorry Lucifer couldn’t be here for this,’ Amenadiel said as he sat next to Linda on the sofa in the room.

‘Yeah,’ she said half-heartedly, smiling down at Rory and brushing her cheek with a crooked index finger before closing her eyes and pressing the back of her head deeply into the pillow. ‘Me too.’